#but as you can see I’m very passionate on saving my people trial and error in hair care

[hypaalicious]

Black Hair Care myths BUSTED!

Since I’m fighting off the plague and have nothing else better to do but lay here pitifully, I’ve decided to talk about hair again after my last two posts on shampoo types and curly hair care , only this time focusing on Black folks’ hair and the misinformation lots of us grew up on.

Now, because I know the gowrls like to tussle (and Mercury in Microbraids along with an eclipse is upon us), lemme just say this: if you’re absolutely happy with your hair care routine, then this post isn’t for you.

This post is only for people who are curious and want to evolve and simplify their hair care routines.

OKAY LEGGO:

The hair typing chart is garbage.

Everyone and they mama should be familiar with this chart. So many of us use it to determine what type of hair products to buy that work best for our hair type.

Unfortunately, the chart is pseudo-science.

All hair types need the same basic care (shampooing/conditioning at least every week), and products that claim to cater to a specific hair type is just a marketing tactic. This chart also promotes texturism; Oprah’s stylist literally made up the type 4 category to say that the only thing to do to tight curls is to straighten or loosen them. 🥲

Products can’t give you the kind of curls you want.

I touched on this a bit in my first hair post, but it bears repeating here: Curl “activators”, Shea butter, raw oil blends, creams, leave-in conditioners, texturizing shampoos… all of them are finessing you, beloveds. If your hair isn’t holding defined clumps of curls immediately after shampooing, then your hair is likely chronically dehydrated and needs to be detoxed.

We’re kinda raised to product chase because we’re told that the way our hair grows out of our heads is bad and needs to be fixed, and the $2.5 billion Black hair care industry is always eager to offer us placebos for our coin. We see someone with the hair texture and length we want and we immediately ask “what products do you use??” as if the answer is in a bottle when it’s really just genetics. 🤷🏽‍♀️

Greasing/oiling your scalp does not moisturize it, get rid of dandruff, or make your hair grow faster.

As a kid I remember my hairdresser using a fine toothed comb and “breaking up” the dandruff on my scalp before applying Sea Breeze to soothe it. Every single time, the dandruff came back worse. 😩 If I put oil on my scalp, it would take only a day before build up and large yellow flakes would rain out of my hair. But I thought because my scalp and my hair needed moisturizing that I couldn’t go without oils.

Well, I was right on one thing; my scalp and hair def needed moisture. But I wasn’t gonna get moisture from anything but water, and at the time I was avoiding water like the plague because I always had a fresh silk press or perm and I didn’t want my hair “reverting”.

If you have a scalp condition or chronic itchiness, you are very much making it worse by adding any of that to your head. The only solution is to wash your hair, loves. Yes, you may have to choose between looking “laid” and what’s actually good for your hair and scalp, but them’s the breaks.

The hair growth oils that line the shelves at Sally’s? Literally snake oil. Same goes for hair vitamins, biotin, MSM, rice water, JBCO, egg white/tea rinse/fruit or food products, African Black soap, rose water, etc. Nothing topical, save for specific medicated prescription drugs from a dermatologist, can make hair grow. Save ya money, hunny!

Co-washing and water-only washing doesn’t get your hair clean.

Conditioner is incapable of doing what shampoo does. You’re just gonna add layers of build up on your hair doing co-washes. Water-only cleansing is like never using soap in your laundry and expecting your clothes to be clean. 😬 Only putting shampoo on your scalp and carefully avoiding the length of your hair is the equivalent of white folks not washing their legs in the shower. Don’t do any of this.

I actually do not know where the myth started that Black folks hair is somehow too fragile to handle shampoo, a thing that is specifically formulated for hair. 😅 If shampoo is drying your hair out, you need to make sure you’re using the right kind of shampoo, not ditching shampoo altogether. If you need help, I touched on shampoo basics here!

Using a spray bottle to “refresh” your hair doesn’t do what you think it’s doing.

Tiny water droplets from a spray bottle only sit on the surface of your hair, even more so if your hair already has product in it. If your styles aren’t holding until your next wash, you may need to re-examine what you’re using, how you apply it, and how you set it. If you need to refresh a style or get moisture, nothing less than washing your hair will do.

Finger detangling or using a wide toothed comb or denman brush isn’t doing the job.

I know we’ve been raised to think that because our hair is tightly coiled, that we have to treat it with kid gloves. But we actually do more harm to our hair by not detangling correctly. Detangling is the act of getting shed hair out from your head so it doesn’t wrap up in your healthy hair and cause breakage. A wide toothed comb can’t do that, and neither can your fingers. A denman brush is ONLY supposed to be used to hold tension in the hair when blowdrying it straight. What you want is a Felicia Leatherwood brush and to use that bad boy in the shower right after putting conditioner on sopping wet hair, trust me.

Protective styles don’t exist.

Buns, braids, wigs… all of them look fantastic when done right and it doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t wear them. But they are all just alternative styles; nothing is being protected. I know a lot of us love the low maintenance that having these styles provide, but I want us to examine why they are thought of as low maintenance: it’s because folks are less likely to wash their hair/detangle while having them.

Any style that discourages you from weekly hair washing cannot be protective. It instead promotes hair neglect. Yes, I know, it can cost thousands of dollars for those waist length box braids or sew in, but you paid for the labor that goes into those kinds of styles, not the ability to keep them in for as long as possible. Not touching your hair for weeks on end means you’ll have dehydrated hair with mad buildup to get rid of. And btw, that type of damage to the hair cannot be fixed in just one visit to the salon. For as many weeks as you go without washing your hair, you need that many weeks out of an alternative style with frequent washing to help it recover.

Dry hair is determined by its behavior, not how it feels.

This one has a lot of folks tripped out because logically, we should be able to just touch our strands and know that it needs moisture. Unfortunately, so many of us don’t know what our actual hair feels like without it being slathered in products, so the moment that we stop using them we think our hair is “dry” when it’s really just how our natural hair texture may feel. It’s def not easy in the beginning to let go of the familiarity a nicely oiled head of hair presents. 🥲

So, how do you know if you have dry hair? If it can’t hold a curl pattern without manipulation, is hydrophobic (if water doesn’t completely flatten hair to your scalp when you wash it, it’s not absorbing), is extremely difficult to detangle, breaks off easily, etc.

You don’t need to rinse your hair in cold water.

Only reason you should even consider it is if you have vivid color in your hair, but… lemme tell y’all sumn.

Years ago when I started dyeing my hair, it was typical for a permanent black hair dye to act like a semi-perm and wash almost completely out or turn grey in a few weeks. Now that I have a much better hair regimen that keeps my hair in the best health it can be, my semi-permanent fashion colors last for months until I decide to touch it up again. And I absolutely do not relish being cold in the shower, so I just use hot water.

The health of your hair matters more than any gimmicks or products you can use to fix a problem.

Long hair/shiny hair is not an indicator of health, it is an indicator of genetics.

I want DESPERATELY for us as a people to break the shackles of thinking that the only hair that matters is long and thick, or that someone who has long hair is an automatic authority on hair care.

If you want an idea of how long your hair can get, then look to your family. If your mom or dad don’t have hair touching their waist then it’s highly possible you were not blessed with the DNA to get your hair waist length either. And that’s okay! You aren’t any less valid. It will just save you a LOT of heartache to learn to embrace your hair the way it naturally is rather than to run around buying products and chasing haircare trends in hopes that a miracle will happen. Not to mention, I’ve seen a lot of folks with long hair but they ain’t had a trim in years and it absolutely shows. 😬

A lot of folks do not have shiny hair, that is once again due to genetics not hair health. Matte hair has a different surface texture and that’s absolutely fine! Only manufactured beauty standards glorify long and shiny hair.

Speaking of hair length…

Shrinkage is not your enemy.

A general rule is that the only hair length that matters is how you regularly wear it.

My hair stays comfortably at the nape of my neck now that I wear my curls 100% of the time. If I pull it taut, then it’ll reach mid-back. But I don’t plan on straightening my hair ever again to show that mid-back length, so… 🤷🏽‍♀️ I have short hair because that is how it lays without manipulation. And that’s fine.

Shrinkage doesn’t scare me because it’s what healthy curly hair DOES. If my hair springs like a coil and retains shape, then I’m doing something right! I have always wanted long hair, I won’t deny that. But if I have to stretch my natural hair in any way in order to GET that long hair, it’s not worth it to me. I’ll just wear a wig for a hot min if I wanna whip my hair back and forth.

Air drying your hair isn’t better than diffusing it with a hair dryer.

Another thing we’ve been told is that heat damages our hair and that air drying is best. That’s not necessarily true.

DIRECT heat can damage your hair (flat irons, blow outs, pressing combs). INDIRECT heat (hooded dryers, a diffuser attachment on a handheld dryer) does not. In fact, diffused heat sets your wash and gos/twist outs way better than air drying. It cuts down on frizz and ensures your style will last through the week.

Also, it’s better to dry your hair completely rather than wait hours for it to air dry and then maybe sleep on wet hair. Fun fact: Leaving your hair wet for too long can cause mold to grow in your hair! 😱 And if you lay a wet head on a pillow, the bacteria transfers to your pillowcase and you continue to sleep in that until you wash the pillow!

You can’t “lock moisture in” your hair.

Water evaporates. It’s what it’s gonna do. 🤷🏽‍♀️ Putting leave ins or oils on your hair in hopes that water stays in your strands longer isn’t a thing, despite what a lot of us have been told. The only thing you’re gonna be left with is greasy, dehydrated hair if you don’t wash it weekly.

Avoiding getting a hair cut will not grant you healthy or long hair.

Hair grows an average of half an inch per month, regardless of race. The belief that “Black hair doesn’t grow” is rooted in anti-Blackness. 😅 If you’re not seeing growth, then it’s most likely that your hair is simply breaking off faster than the rate of growth, or you have an underlying health issue that needs to be addressed by a doctor.

I know I used to hate hairdressers who seemed “scissor happy” because I was always chasing length, so I would often only tell them to “dust” the ends if they do anything. Now, I will grab my clippers and cut inches off my hair in a heartbeat if my hair starts looking raggedy. Clinging on to scraggly hair because it takes “so long to grow” doesn’t do you any favors, trust me. 😭 Take better care of your hair and you will retain length a lot easier, and that includes getting quarterly haircuts.

Porosity does not matter.

How many of us did this whole “put a strand of hair in a cup of water and see if it floats or sinks”? Well, what if I told you that it means absolutely nothing for everyday hair care? 😭 Porosity isn’t even a static state, so many things can change it on a dime!

The only time porosity matters is if you are getting a color service and that is only for your stylist to determine. And you will never see a stylist worth their salt putting your hair in a cup of water to figure it out. Also, a lot of “low” porosity hair is just product build up.

Using home remedies to address hair loss concerns doesn’t work.

No, it doesn’t matter that your grandma did black tea rinses regularly to stop her hair from shedding. It doesn’t matter what women in India do with their hair, either. This may be a hard pill to swallow, but it’s perfectly okay to evolve past things that aren’t truly helpful even if it’s a Black culture staple.

Please don’t be afraid to go to a dermatologist. 🥺 There’s even a Black Dermatologist Directory to reference if you don’t wanna go to just anybody. Yeah, it may seem pricey, but Dermatologists have the training to cut through the guesswork, pinpoint what the problem is and save you a LOT of time and pain. You don’t wanna fuck around and make your hair loss WORSE by doing psuedo-chemistry in your kitchen.

“Do what works for you” doesn’t have the mileage you think it does.

When people don’t want to hear that their current hair practices aren’t really helping them, they default to “Well, it works for ME!” or “Everyone’s hair is different!”

Nobody’s hair is so different that it doesn’t need a weekly wash with shampoo. Nobody’s hair is the magical unicorn that grew 4 inches in a month because they used JBCO. Your hair is not “built different”, and believing that it is will lead you to spending money on things you don’t need. Doing what works for you only comes after you have nailed the basics of healthy hair care, and it only varies in like… if you prefer to use styling foam to set your wash n go as opposed to gel. Or using one brand’s shampoo over another. Not “my hair likes butters and oils and staying in protective styles for months on end and is doing just fine, and you telling me otherwise is anti-Black”.

If you have unexamined hatred of your natural hair texture, then nothing in this long-ass post will hit for you. If a large part of your identity as a Black person is rooted in product chasing, protective styles and taking an entire business day to wash your hair, then a lot of this will offend you. I’m really sorry for that, and I am not here to argue with anybody. I’ll just tell you “if you like it, I love it” and go on about my business.

For everyone else, I really hope this post helps to shed some light on hair care and set you on a better journey that gives you more time and more confidence in your styles! 🥹

#this post long as hell and I absolutely forgot how to do a read more cut #I hope y’all got that automatic post reducer option toggled cause I know that saved my life 😂 #but as you can see I’m very passionate on saving my people trial and error in hair care #cause seriously if I was told this ages ago I would have gone natural way before now #the hardest part for most folks I think will be the mindset change required to let go of bad habits #cause no matter what the facts say if you not ready to hear it then 🤷🏽‍♀️ can’t be helped! #black hair care #natural hair care #hair care tips

[gatalentan]

I’m dying at the fact that you’re giffing Life’s work! I’ve been looking everywhere for somewhere to watch it/download it without AZ Prime. I’ve only got like four random episodes saved but I wanna watch it all. Lisa is SO good. Anyways, when I make my own gifs, the colouring is poop. What is your secret?

It's so fucking funny, I'm so glad I finally watched it! The dialogue is absolutely fantastic. I listened to a podcast ep a few weeks ago that she featured on (on the podcast "You Might Know Her From..." I think?) and she was retelling all the production drama behind it that led to it being cancelled for, truly, no reason other than the new head of ABC being a fucking dickhead, and I could tell she was SO passionate about that show that it catapulted to the top of my to-watch pile. It's fantastic. How she never got more star-vehicles into the present day off the back of it, and why it took her this long to land Abbott, I don't know. Being in the UK I had to do some absolute fucking shenanigans to get ahold of it. If you're in the US or Canada (or have a friend who is who is willing to purchase it for you and let you access it via a vpn), you can purchase most of it on Apple TV, Amazon, Google Play, Youtube TV & VUDU. Unfortunately some are missing, I guess due to licensing problems? It's ~$30 for all the eps. https://www.justwatch.com/us/tv-show/lifes-work

I don't have a secret at all! My giffing tag is literally me learning as I go - I haven't been doing it very long, so you can see my progression in my giffing tag. Some of them are already quite embarrassing to me, lol. Just a lot of trial and error. I'm also colourblind, so I have to run things by people to make sure nothing looks absolutely bonkers when I'm recolouring. I did learn a fair bit from this tutorial initially, but if you search "gif coloring tutorial" here on Tumblr there's a lot of wonderful guides with step-by-steps. Figuring out how to do leveling/curves and use high-pass was my magic bullet, personally. But it's mostly just practise! I'm still figuring out what works and doesn't.

[dameronology]

love in the time of PTA meetings {marcus moreno} - 1/5

summary: despite what pinterest shows, being in a parent in the twenty first century is hard; especially a single parent. your kid takes up your entire life and the idea of finding a fairy tale is laughable - that is until you finally attend a p.t.a meeting and cross paths with a certain marcus moreno.  {series masterlist}

warnings: i do not have children. i don’t know children work. this written entirely what i have seen them do in the sims 4. also, swearing. 

- jazz

Leaving work early was never a good look.

Leaving work early because your child had managed to set fire to a trash can was...well, it was something else entirely.

After rushing out of a very important meeting and parking your car in a did-you-park-it-or-crash-it manner, you were sprinting across the play ground and towards the front entrance. Having given up half way through, you’d kicked your stupidly high heels off and held them in one hand, trying to organise your slightly disheveled hair as you entered the building. Most parents might have been nervous to collect their kid after a call from the principle, but this was a regular Tuesday for you. Jack was a good kid, perhaps just a little...misguided. In your books, it was impressive that a five year old had managed to discover pyrotechnics, though you sensed the school might have been a little less lenient about it. 

‘Hey!’ You greeted the principle with a smile as you breezed through the doors. 

Jack was in a chair by the front desk, a gleeful look on his face when he saw you. As far as he knew or cared, he got to go home early and watch Paw Patrol for the rest of the day. 

‘Afternoon.’ He replied. ‘You’re lucky it was only a phone call.’

‘I know, I know.’ You grumbled. ‘I’m sorry. He’s...adventurous-’

‘ - he singed off his class mate’s eyebrows!’ The principle cut you off. ‘Given Monday’s biting incident, I see it fit that Jack take the rest of the week off.’

‘Right.’ You sighed. ‘Thank you. And sorry again.’

‘I’ll email you a list of...behavioural specialists.’ He muttered.

‘There’s nothing wrong with my kid. He’s just...curious.’ You insisted. ‘C’mon, buddy. Let’s go home.’

Jack sprung up from the chair, taking your hand in his and skipping out the door beside you. Parenting had been hard enough when you’d been married, and even harder now that his dad was out of the picture. It meant that everything fell on your shoulders; school runs, packed lunches, earning money, staying sane. You barely found the time to sleep, let alone go to soccer matches or take him to extra curricular activities. It meant that the stay-at-home mums - the ones who drove minivans and had specified walking shoes and shared memes about parenting on Facebook - muttered about you. 

I heard Jack’s mum couldn’t make it to the parent-teacher association meeting because there was a divorce hearing. 

Look at the kid’s lunch! Oh the saturated fat, the horror!

What do you MEAN your five year old isn’t vegan?!

Frankly, you wanted to whack them over the head with their own damn vision boards. So what if your kid was a little rough around the edges? He’d discovered fire today! If it had been in the stone ages, that would have been impressive. The kind of thing that would have earned him a McDonald’s, had the fast food chain been around at the dawn of time. With the way things were going, paired with the fact you knew your fridge was empty, it looked like you were heading for a Happy Meal anyway. 

‘So do I get all week off?’ Jack peered up at you, tugging on your arm.

‘Yup, all week.’ You sighed. ‘But it’s not a reward, okay? It’s...’

You stopped in your tracks when you saw Marcus Moreno’s car pull up in the lot. Naturally, it was expensive and electric and perfectly between the white lines. He gave your less-than-stellar parking a frown as he breezed by - not that you noticed. Frankly, you were too busy admiring him. You saw his face more on the news than you did in person, but he was beautiful. Talk, dark, handsome and mysterious, but also...friendly and approachable. He’d held the door open for you once two years ago and that had been it for you. There had been whispers about the fact he was a widow, though you’d tried not to pay attention to them. It wasn’t anyone’s damn business. You knew he was a good dad; you’d had the chance to meet Missy when Jack had got his head stuck between the playground fence and she’d helped pull him out. She was sweet and well-behaved and clearly well brought up. Could you say the same for your own kid? Eh, parenting was all trial and error. 

‘It’s what?’ Your son’s voice dragged you back to reality. ‘Am in trouble?’

‘What?!’ You jumped at the question. ‘No, I just...’

‘Because Principle Eikner said I’d done something bad.’

A small sigh escaped your mouth; placing his backpack on the ground, you knelt down to his height, gently placing your hands on his shoulder. ‘You haven’t done anything wrong, little man. We're just gonna take a few days out to talk about the rules and what it means to do the right thing, okay?’

‘Dad always said not to listen to the rules.’

‘Your dad said a lot of things.’ You reminded him. You stood back up, offering your hand to him. ‘Let’s go home.’

After a few minutes of bartering and the promise of a McDonald’s, you finally made your way back to the car, now with Jack attached to your back. If giving him a piggy back ride meant getting home quicker, it was a price you were willing to pay, especially since the other mums were starting to arrive to pick up their kids. The parking lot was slowly filling up with minivans - compared to your decade-old Honda Civic. It had seen better days, and one too many run ins with other cars and parking lot bollards. Still, it got the job done. 

‘Oh, I’m so glad to see you!’ You froze in your tracks again. This time, it wasn’t because of Marcus Moreno’s otherworldly presence, but rather due to the sound of the resident soccer mum. 

‘Carol.’ You turned around to face her (slowly, given the five year old on your back) with a forced smile on your face. ‘Hi.’

‘I take it you’re here for the parent-teacher’s association meeting?’ She gave you a phoney grin, handing you a leaflet. ‘I know you couldn’t make the last one, because of your...d-i-v-o-r-c-e hearings.’ 

‘I can spell!’ Jack chirped from behind you.

‘It’s okay, buddy.’ You reached up to ruffle his hair, smile not faltering. ‘But yeah, you’re right. And what about it?’

‘Nothing.’ Carol quickly shook her head. ‘So you are coming to this one? It starts in ten minutes.’

Truth be told, you’d no idea there was even a meeting tonight. You usually ignored the damn things until the news letter came out, and then you could read it from the comfort of your sofa with a glass of wine. There was nothing you stopping going tonight, aside from your intense hatred for them. 

‘I wanna get home and watch South Park!’ Jack chirped from behind you.

‘I don’t - I mean...I don’t let my five year old watch South Park.’ You said. ‘He walked in on me watching it one time and...point is, yes, I’m here for the meeting!’

‘No, you’re not-’

‘- Jack, just sssh!’ 

Carol blinked in surprise, but her phoney smile returned a moment later. ‘Excellent! I’ll see you inside.’

You inwardly groaned. Why had you just done that? You fucking despised sitting in a stuffy gym for the better part of an hour, listening to the perfect mums bang on about healthy eating and limiting their kids’ internet time. You already questioned your parenting skills as it was - the meetings only made it worst. You didn’t assimilate into that crowd; they were all married, with big houses out in the ‘burbs and bank accounts that could cover their kids ever-expanding interests and activities. Meanwhile, you were living on one wage and your two-bedroom apartment had a balcony, not a back garden. If Jack wanted to go on a field trip, you usually had to save up for months. You didn’t know if you envied the other mums’ lives, but you certainly weren’t jealous of how they viewed working mums and single parents. 

‘That lady is mean.’ Jack murmured from your shoulders.

‘Yeah buddy, I know.’ You nodded. ‘Guess we’re going back to school.’

--

Lugging the kid and his bag back up the school yard and towards the building was exhausting - at least it was your work out for the week done. By the time you’d reached the gym and placed Jack back on the ground, your shoulders were aching and you were disappointed to see that the refreshments didn’t have any alcohol. Was it too late to sneak out? The fire exit was right there and-

‘- shame this thing doesn’t have any wine, huh?’ A man was stood next to you, arms folded across his chest as he stared at the luke-warm jug of coffee on the table ahead. 

Tall, dark hair, stubble and with a faint hint of expensive aftershave you pretended not to notice? Hello, Marcus Moreno. Goodbye, ability to form coherent sentences.

You blinked in surprise. ‘Yeah. I could do with a glass. Or ten.’

‘So you hate these things too, huh?’ He smiled. 

‘With a passion.’ You returned the gesture. ‘I’m only here because Carol and her Karen Committee kept muttering about me not being at the last one.’

‘Yeah, same here. I was attending an emergency meeting about nuclear arms in Vienna, but I guess this is more important.’

‘I was...’ in court, signing documents to end my marriage, ‘otherwise occupied too.’

Marcus nodded in understanding. ‘Kids alone are a full time job, huh? ‘Specially when you’re the only one who’s running around after them.’

He knew about your situation and in return, figured that you knew about his. He’d heard the whispers about the divorce and presumed that the loss of his wife had been subject to similar gossip. The environment amongst the parents was shockingly similar to high school and things got around pretty quickly. You both hated it, especially given the nature of both your circumstances; death and separation was not something other people should have been talking about. Especially when you all you wanted to do was mind your own business and raise your damn (chaotic) kid.

‘Yeah, tell me about it.’ You replied. ‘My kid is like...a baby crackhead, as well. He’s been sent home twice this week and it’s only Wednesday.’

‘Oh, Jack’s your kid?’

You let out a groan, holding your face in your hands. ‘Yeah. Famously so, apparently.’

‘No, it’s not a bad thing!’ Marcus chuckled, pulling your hands away. ‘He played a brilliant baby Jesus in the Nativity last year.’

‘Aside from when he bit one of the three wise men, yeah.’ You could feel your cheeks heating up. ‘Missy actually helped him once. She seems really...not at all like my child. Which is good.’

‘She told me about the fence incident.’ He nodded. ‘May I ask why he was shoving his head out of the school gates?’

‘He saw an interesting looking slug.’ You replied.

Your conversation was interrupted by Carol, who had now climbed up on stage. She tapped the microphone and cleared her throat, gesturing to everyone to sit down so that the meeting could start. You wanted to curse her. Whatever giddy conversation you were having with Marcus was a thousand times more interesting than the PTA. At least you could revel in the fact he didn’t want to be here either.

‘Shall we?’ Marcus gestured to two empty seats a few rows back.

‘I mean, it’s an aisle seat, which is good for a quick escape if Jack decides to be Jack,’ you nodded in agreement. ‘Hey kid, c’mon!’

Turning away from the other kids, Jack sprinted towards you, hurling himself into your lap as he sat down. You let out an oof! and a groan. He wasn’t as light as he used to be a toddler. He stayed still for a moment, tiny hands clasping yours, before he realised who you were sat next to. The kids’ impression of Marcus was not quite the same as yours - he’d only seen him on TV, with the likes of all the heroes. You couldn’t remember their names (but in your defence, they were kind of ridiculous). 

‘Are you a superhero?’ He reached up, poking Marcus in the cheek. 

‘Jack!’ You hissed. ‘You can’t-’

‘- yeah, buddy.’ Marcus ruffled his hair. ‘But it’s my day off today, so I’m doing all this boring stuff instead.’

‘Can you fly? Do you know Miracle Guy? Have you fought aliens? Do you have a super suit? Do you know Iron Man? Wait! Can I be a superhero?!’

‘No, yes, yes, no, no and maybe when you’re older.’ He counted the questions off on his fingers. ‘But for now we have to keep quiet for the meeting. That would make you a superhero.’

--

You wanted to marry Marcus Moreno.

Seriously, you wanted to marry him.

His little comment had kept Jack quiet the entire meeting. And it was a long fucking meeting indeed. The last time he’d shut up for that long was...probably before he learnt to talk. You loved he was full of curiosity and questions, but he didn’t always understand that there was a time and a place. At least now you knew what would shut him up. 

‘How does Miracle Guy fly? Is Batman real? Are you rich? Do you know Wonder Woman? How does her lasso of truth work?’

‘Jack.’ You groaned. 

You were walking out of the school now and down towards the car park. Missy was in tow, tapping away on her phone, whilst Jack trotted alongside you and Marcus. He’d been spewing questions at the poor man pretty much since the meeting had ended - and yet, he seemed happy to answer them. Excited, even. It was clear that he loved his job.

‘You gotta give Mr Moreno a break, little man.’ You said.

‘Hey, just Marcus is fine.’ He replied. 

‘Hey Just Marcus, I’m dad.’ Missy chimed from beside you, not even looking up from her phone. It was...impressive, actually.

‘I already regret buying her that.’ Marcus murmured. 

The two of you eventually reached your cars. The Civic was still terribly parked across two spaces - you were a good driver, you’d just been in a rush. The dents and scrapes all over the doors and bumper implied other wise but hey, we move. You had a thousand and one other things to save up before a new car. Putting down the deposit on a house - one you could actually own, maybe a little further out from the city - was your number one concern. Paying off your divorce attorney came after that. 

‘It was nice to meet you properly.’ You pulled your keys out your back, tugging four empty packets of crisps and three bags of gummy worms with it. 

‘I’m not done asking questions-’

‘- you gotta let Marcus go, JJ.’ You peered down at Jack. ‘Sorry. He’s a little obsessed with the Heroics, but I guess you’ve worked that one out.’

‘Can I visit your base?’ He continued, ignoring you. 

Marcus knelt down to his height, a grin on his face. ‘I’ve got a free window tomorrow afternoon. You wanna come by? Your mum tells me you’re off school for the rest of the week.’ 

‘Really?’ You blinked in surprise. ‘I mean, I’m sure he would love that but I’m at work and he’s gotta go to my mum’s.’

Your mother also doubled up as your baby-sitter. In an ideal world, you would have been able to afford a professional, but this was very much the opposite of an ideal world. It was the real world, and you were constantly juggling a thousand things at once. Never in a million years would you have changed it but there were days when you wanted to cry. When it was 9PM and Jack suddenly chimed in that he had a science project due the next day, or when he refused to eat his dinner because his chicken nuggets weren’t shaped like dinosaurs and fed them to the dog. 

Marcus looked, on the surface at least, like he had his shit together. He worked in a public facing job and he always looked put together. His car wasn’t covered in bumps and bruises and the inside probably wasn’t covered in yoghurt like yours. He seemed as though he got more than five hours sleep a night and his child was well-behaved. 

‘I’m sure we can work something out.’ He said. ‘If you give me your number, I’ll give you a call.’

‘Uh, yeah! Of course.’ He’d asked for your number. No big deal. 

You switched phones - naturally, his was much more high-tech than yours - and entered in your respective numbers. The whole thing made you admire Marcus even more; he didn’t have to have your tyrannical son over to his office, yet he offered to. He’d clearly seen how excited he’d gotten and it seemed like he’d found it endearing. 

‘Are you okay?’ Marcus asked quietly, suddenly putting his hand on your shoulder. ‘You suddenly zoned out.’

‘Yeah, sorry.’ You rubbed your eyes. ‘I got about three hours sleep last night. I would blame it on the terrible twos but I guess it’s the...fucking awful fives?’

He quickly turned his attention to Jack, opening the car door for him. ‘You wanna hop in? I’m just gonna talk to your mom about you visiting, yeah?’

'There’s Cheetos in the centre console!’ You called after him.

Once Marcus had shut the door, he turned around to face you. There was silence for a minute, and he just kind of...stared at you. You couldn’t read his expression or quite figure it out, but he had an eyebrow quirked and a look of...concern? Sympathy?

‘I recognise that look. It’s the help! I’m suddenly a single parent to a five year old and it feels like the world is eating me alive look.’ He said. ‘It’s the exact same one I had six years ago. Missy was about Jack’s age when...when it became just me and her.’

You softly smiled. ‘It’s not been easy.’

‘You’re doing a good job, okay?’ He gave your shoulder a light squeeze. ‘And if you ever need him off your hands for a few hours, I’ll gladly give him a tour of our headquarters.’

‘Thank you. So much, for both of those things.’ Your eyes fell to the ground. ‘It’s a refreshing change from Carol and her Pinterest boards and half-assed invitations to potlucks.’

‘God, I can’t stand all that.’ Marcus chuckled. 

‘I gotta get back now because I can see that Jack is about smush Cheetos over my break pedals but I’ll...’ you trailed off, forcing yourself to look at him and smile. ‘I’ll call you.’

‘I look forward to it.’ 

#marcus moreno x reader #marcus moreno imagine #marcus moreno x you #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal character headcanons

[fandom-scatteredthoughtsonpaper]

Dark Obey Me AU Outline, Breakdown, Game Mechanic + Specifics, + Some Other Stuff

{Previous post}

Kickoff and Quick Summarization:

Leviathan won a new preliminary horror game with VR aspects from a contest to test the game out before its actual release and invited Mammon and Yuki (MC) to play. This experimental immersion becomes too realistic when Yuki's latent powers takes the experience of the game to new levels when the entire House of Lamentation is sucked into the virtualization. Yuki, now alone and confused to the rules of this blended world of reality and simulation, has to venture through the house and recover the brothers from the game's influence. The game seems a little rigged the more Yuki advanced, so is someone actually pulling strings off screen or is paranoia seeping in?

Type of AU:

Mirror Universe, Interactive AU (you can help build up the world of this event)

Potential tags:

Horror, Psychological, Bloody, Dark, Angsty, Possible Sexual Assault, Death Is Allowed, Bodily Harm

Brief (and Liable to Change) Explanation of How the Game Will Work:

-After the House of Lamentation is shifted and adapted into the game's world, the seven demon brothers are also adapted to the elements of the psychological horror genre and placed as progressively harder bosses that MC has to get through to advance the game and undo the effects of what happened.

-The brothers that MC has converted back to normal will stay on their side and aid them in rescuing the other mentally manipulated boys, some even serving as necessary requirements to further progress. They can roam around the house and their rooms can serve as a temporary safety spots, but MC has to be with them to ward off the game's influence from trying to appeal to their cardinal desires based on their sin they govern and controlling them again.

-MC can try to appeal to any brother at any time, but if they don't meet requirements the struggle will be a lot harder and the emotional toll will be more effective on the chosen brother. If MC fails to convert the brother, not only does the next attempt become tougher, but MC takes damage deemed appropriate by the game based on the sin of the brother.

-The only exception to this rule is Mammon. Mammon is basically the tutorial. He's a mandatory scripted event to teach MC how the gameplay will be, and how they'll make it further in the game.

-Each brother is equivalent as a boss. The only way to progress to the next milestone is to release the grip the game has on the brothers' minds, but it's not as simple as breaking a curse like MC can canonically do with their powers. MC has to make a connection to the altered version of the demons, and to reach that connection they have to tackle each brother's insecurities and issues. Not like resolve them entirely with a heartfelt speech, and voila, they're okay again, but really reach into their hearts and remind them that they're not what the game has turned them into, that they're more than their sins and valued individually by MC.

-Thus having the proper brother on MC's side makes that connection a lot easier when it comes to certain brothers. Once that connection has been made and the game has less control, then MC can use the pact they made in the real world as the final move to disconnect the hold the game has in the virtual world.

-Again, however, it's not as simple as a few deeply passionate words and the veils are lifted from the brothers' eyes. Certain items can be found in each bedroom that helps strengthen the pact to mean something aside from a vow between a human and a demon. Requirements are necessary for progress.

-The pacts MC has with the brothers is a key relevancy to progressing the game. Without trying to appeal positively to their insecurities/fears the game has a strong hold on their minds and the use of their pacts aren't as effective

Rundown of What I Mean:

Mammon is the first demon MC bonded with and that applies itself strongly to their connection and relationship, especially in this event. I might be biased here, and not to mention I'm trial and erroring the story with my MC, Yuki, but I believe Mammon has the strongest connection with MC because of how he feels for them, how empathetic he is, and how emotionally aware he can be.

Mammon governs greed and already easily succumbs to his wants in the real world, but as of now in the canon story, he's grown a bit away from his sin, because of his relationship with MC, like most of the boys have. He can put MC above his own desires, and that influence deals a lot with how MC saves him after he attacks them in their room.

Mammon wants to sell MC's body, bit by bit, blood, teeth, hair, organs, nails, etc., as a means to pull in some serious money in the black market. Greed completely takes over Mammon, and he has very little regard for MC's life. When MC tries to use their pact's powers on Mammon the first time not much is really done, because the connection wasn't made. However, being the tutorial, Mammon becomes less influenced quicker than the rest of his brothers. MC has to remind him he's not a total scumbag that loves only money while Mammon is choking them out. So time is of the essence, because MC is physically harmed in this reality and can die as well.

I'll have a rough draft of this scene up later to better explain the process.

So Basically:

MC has to find items or something meaningful to assist them in helping the brothers become aware while under the game's manipulation, and then making a connection to their actual selves that helps absolve the mind control before using the pacts MC has made to finalize the severance, although it's not totally gone.

How I Plan to Progress the Event (Susceptible to Change) and Suggestions That Have Been Implemented by Other People So Far:

-MC starts the event off at the Lord Demon's castle with Diavolo and Barbatos before returning to the HoL to play with Levi. Before MC leaves Barbatos gives them two coins and a cautionary warning [credit to @jinxed-rose ]

-The unstable powers of MC conflicts with the game and locks the HoL and its residents inside the virtual reality.

-The game treats the brothers as bosses and turns their worst qualities up to 11. The small glimpses of how we saw the brothers in the beginning of the game before warming up to the MC is how they're portrayed in the game. They're meaner, deadlier, and heavily warpped from their original selves.

-MC can physically be hurt and/or killed, so the more of the brothers they can rescue the easier the game will be to traverse.

-The brothers are ranked by the order of when they got a pact with MC. So the optional progression between the brothers would be Mammon, Levi, Beel, Asmo, Satan, Lucifer, and Belphie. The longer MC has been in a pact with the boys the easier it is to sway them out of their brainwashing, but it doesn't have to be in this order [credit to @felix-the-lemon-king ]

-Another option of progress with the brothers can be psychological fortitude. What I mean by that is the boys' durability to withstand breaking down from their insecurities being provoked. So Mammon's biggest fear is MC getting hurt so he's automatically the first boss and Lucifer would be among the last to confront because he's mentally strongest and that's where the issues would lie. [credit to 13ineedpills13 on AO3]

-Levi is an optional boss that can be done early or late in the game, it doesn't really matter. If MC goes for Levi first, he'll be relatively easy to return to normal, but if MC doesn't get to him until later then he'll be a lot harder to help. If MC attempts to rescue the others before Levi and succeeds the game will make him aware of this. Levi will get more and more enveloped by envy and jealousy and his insecurities will worsen, making it harder to appeal to him. [credit to @sunshine-apprentice ]

-The reason Levi is an optional boss to go after at any time is because he has a mystery that reveals itself later as the event starts ramping up and big reveal towards the end. It's not really a secret if you read the notes on prior posts, but shhh. [credit to @felix-the-lemon-king ]

-Lucifer is the assumed main person to look out for, because he is the elder, head of the house, and most powerful and sadistic. He watches from the shadows and sets up elaborate snares and ambushes to sike out and slowly breakdown MC. Beel is more frequent around Lucifer's bedroom.

Somewhat Established "Rules" of the Game:

-Each encounter with the brothers during the actual moments of fighting and struggling will be violent and dangerous. Injuries will be painful and won't magically heal after the fight is done. [credit to syvintri on AO3]

-Death is very much possible, but it's tough for the brothers to die. It's not that hard for MC though. So, perma-death is plausible, but it's evened out with the two coins MC gets from Barbatos.

-The end goal is in Levi's bedroom, but it won't be accessible until after the brothers have all been released from the grip of the video game.

-MC's room is the only actual safe room in the house, so it's basically the headquarters

-Beel is the guard that routinely patrols the hallways, but he can be lured away with food from an area for a bit of time

-Each brother's room has a way to help figure out how to un-brainwash the boys, but they are dangerous to go into

-Overcoming the boys' insecurities and sins are a key relevance in progressing the game

-Line up of the boys in order as bosses (potentially): Mammon, Asmodeus, Belphie, Beelzbub, Satan, Lucifer, Leviathan

Concerns and Questions:

There's still a lot of gaps and unfilled holes that I'm not entirely sure how to connect properly. Trying to figure out how to write the encounters between the brothers that are being manipulated and MC/the brothers rescued is going to be tricky. Making sure the boys' characterizations stay close to how they would be will be a challenge.

So my questions for you will help me figure out what people would like to see and also help me connect dots in the story and plot.

A matter to discuss, for instance, is what a comment said on AO3:

"I think them interacting in a proper manner storywise when they are brainwashed is impossible, and such a drag to read. They should only interact during battles, and after battles, as they go on and save the others."

How should I go about writing the progress of the story?

Should I write it like an actual fanfiction, all detailed and specific and going at a constant pace, or should I skip moments instead of writing every scene that could occur to stay fresh and steady-paced, or should I try to base the chapters like actual event lessons in-game where stuff happens briefly and isn't very long?

Or another comment:

"So maybe this is just me, but I think it'd actually be more horrifying if the 'game' wasn't perma-death. Especially if everyone remembered despite any sort of revives or resets and with in-game injuries actually being painful. There's a high potential for angst is all I'm saying. But I guess that lends itself better for a normal fic rather than a choose your own adventure thing"

How should I write the "fight" scenes?

Should they be brief yet detailed or meaty with the conflict as MC tries to resolve the situation before anyone gets too hurt oor would this be good moments for turmoil between the brothers to arise and brawls break out ooor... I don't know what else.

How would the angst and heavy trauma best be applied according to y'all?

What kind of angst would each brother go through as MC tries to rescue them?

Some other questions:

Is the line up of the brothers as bosses okay, or should they be reconfigured to make more sense? Should it be linked how psychologically weak to strong they are or how their sins correspond to the next?

What would they be like at their absolute worst? How far do you think they could dive into their sins if they didn't have morals?

How dangerous would the brothers be?

How would the game use each character's insecurities and fears as their driving point?

How would you like to see brothers interact with MC during the confrontation? Or with each other before/during/after?

If MC were to die what would be the best way to take them out that would really fuck up the boys and devastate the psyche? Any brother is liable to maim or hurt the MC, but which one(s) could actually kill them? Or if a brother took a hit meant for MC, who would be more inclined to step into the line of fire?

These aren't all the questions that I have knocking around in my head and stumping me, but they're the biggest ones. I would like to hear inputs from others, BUT PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't feel inclined to answer everything that I've listed. Those are just questions that I thought of and put on this post as examples of what I'm trying to figure out.

Finishing Off:

So yeah. That's the progress I've made so far, both on my own and from suggestions and opinions from other people.

I'd love to hear what y'all have in mind or would like to suggest or a take on a matter for any scenes, interactions, or whatever. Even if it's ideas of your own that relate to something that hasn't been brought up or mentioned, feel free to comment it or send me an ask.

Something this extensive will require a lot of thought and work to be done right, so that's why I had the notion of making this an interactive AU

So, if you're interested or wanna talk about the concept, hit me up! I'm dying just to ramble about potential stuff or read viewpoints about the brothers that you want to see happen or stances for whatever.

#obey me #obey me au #obey me dark au #obey me mammon #obey me satan #obey me levi #obey me beel #obey me lucifer #obey me leviathan #obey me asmo #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me belphie #jess writes

[tommybaholland]

I'm the one who requested the bite love language thing and your probably gonna know it's me since I might add a sunflower at the end of my request BUT ANYWAYS

I need a katsuki bakugo and shouto todoroki who's s/o is just addicted to daggers(the designs are just really pretty) like they just buy daggers it's either a resin one or something close to that like the designs are just so mf pretty (like those daggers that are resin and have flowers in it are so pretty like dAnGg -🌻

s/o who likes resin daggers

featuring: bakugo and todoroki

welcome back! i googled them to get a better idea and i agree, they are really pretty! enjoy x 

bakugo 

thinks its dumb and weird that you collect these knives

like you can’t even fight with them so whats the point?? 

but then he sees how much you take care of them and display them in your room 

he finds it endearing that you’re passionate and care for something

it reminds him of how much you take care of him

he watches you closely as you’re dusting your collection that you kept neatly displayed on some shelves hung up on the wall. it’s not like him to feel this enamored by someone. someone who’s cleaning knives that they collect, no less. however, he realizes that this is more than that. 

despite that he’s aggressive and grumpy most of the time, he’s pretty observant and analytical. it’s one thing about him that surprises most people. he’s mostly on his guard when it comes to combat and enemies or even people that might be a threat when vying for the number one hero spot. when it came to you, though, he felt like he noticed something new about you everyday. 

he thought it was stupid and weird of him but at one point, he realized he couldn’t fight it. love was the villain that he simply could not defeat. maybe it wasn’t a villain because you were at the center of it all and watching you do something like this, he knew you had a great future ahead of you. one in which,  hopefully, he would be lucky enough to have a role. 

“what are you doing, you dumbass?”

you jumped slightly at the sudden sound of his voice. “oh, katsuki! i guess i didn’t see you there.” 

there you go with that cute grin of yours. 

“whatever. are you ready to go or what?”

“yes. let me just grab a jacket.”

you sauntered over to him after a few moments, jacket tucked under your arm. you looked at him expectantly, the brightness of your gaze reaching his. 

“okay. now i’m ready.” 

you almost walked past him before he caught you by your elbow.

“hey, aren’t you forgetting something?” he questioned.

“uh, no? i don’t think so,” you answered, looking around as if he were talking about a tangible item. 

“are you really that dumb? i want to kiss you, idiot.” 

you giggled. “all you had to do was ask, katsuki.”

“whatever,” he grumbled before puller you closer by your elbow, closing the small space between you. his fingers brushed across your jaw as he kissed you, your cheek warming his hand as your lips did. 

once you pulled away, he still had something that he needed to say.

“i love you, you weird knife lover,” he confessed, letting a half-smile appear on his face as his thumb brushed your cheek. he always wanted to be the reason for that beautiful smile on your face. 

todoroki

he doesn’t see the point of it either

but he can appreciate the designs and craftsmanship 

he knows you like to buy ones that are handmade and those are not easy to find 

there’s one that you really want but it’s so hard to get 

long story short, he’s a very thoughtful and sweet boy

“what are you looking at?” todoroki peered over your shoulder to fully see the screen of your phone. 

“daggers,” you chortled, amused by your own obsession. “there’s some really pretty ones right now. like look at this one--”

you held your phone up for him to see it more clearly. the picture showed a resin daggers with flecks in gold infused in the blade. it was really stunning and different from the rest in your collection. most of them had flowers or some intricate design carved in them. 

“isn’t it beautiful?”

“yeah. that’s nice,” he agreed, handing your phone back to you. 

“i’ve been looking at this one for a while now but it’s so hard to find any in stock. and anytime it’s back in stock, it’s always at a time when i’m broke.”

todoroki actually knew about all of this beforehand. this is just the first time you’ve spoken out loud about it. but he had seen the saved pictures of the dagger on your phone. he even did some research himself and understood your frustration. he had looked on every possible site, even on some forums where maybe he could get it at some outside vendor but it seemed almost impossible. 

it was his own personal mission to get it for you but he was starting to rethink it. all the scouring the internet was just a waste of time. fortunately, he had an idea and all it hinged on was him alone. 

he was going to wait until your birthday to present the gift but it was too perfect that he couldn’t wait. 

“i have something to show you,” he said one day as you were walking hand in hand to his room. 

once you entered, he strode over to the corner and pulled out a small box. walking back over to you, you recognized the box as a small cooler. 

“open it,” he instructed as he held it out to you. 

you opened it to find a dagger made out of ice with little pieces of gold inside the blade, just like the resin one you’d been trying to find. you had no words and so he filled the silence as he explained.

“it’s not the exact one. i knew you wanted that dagger and it was getting really difficult to find it so i made this. also, those aren’t really gold flecks. ashido suggested i use these little pieces of— i don’t know what they’re called. do you like it?”

you were still silent and in awe that he had done this.

“i, i love it. wow, this must’ve taken forever to get right,” you finally spoke, looking up at him.

he grinned. “there was some trial and error, sure. but it helped me practice making more complicated shapes with my ice.”

you took the cooler from him before wrapping your arms around him, hugging him tightly.

“thank you, sho. i really do love it and i love you.”

“of course, my love. you deserve it,” he replied, hugging you equally as tight. “and i love you more.”

whats going on, bnha night?? waiting to request something?

#mha x reader #bnha x reader #bakugo x reader #bakugo fluff #bakugo headcanons #bakugo scenarios #todoroki x reader #todoroki fluff #todoroki headcanon #todoroki scenario #request #requested #tommybaholland

[youngbounty]

When it comes to Turnabout Big Top, I feel alone with this one. Not only did I love and enjoy Turnabout Big Top, but I consider it my favorite case in Justice For All. I’m not going to say it didn’t have its flaws, but I had so much fun playing it and even the story itself was something to behold. I read blogs and watched videos from those that did like this case, including NicoB, but I’m going to express my love for this case.

Before I start my praises, I will get what I didn’t like about it out of the way: the investigations were a pain in the ass, the cape flying thing didn’t make any sense, Moe was annoying as hell and, even though this was made in Japan, the love triangle thing went way too far. Since there is so much hate for this case, I think everyone pretty knows the reasons why I didn’t like these. So, I will just leave it at that. Now, to express my love for Turnabout Big Top.

Let’s start with the characters. Aside from Moe, I absolutely love the characters. Max and Ben were the only okay characters. I liked how, even despite Max being completely full of himself, means well in what he does. You can tell that, even though he thinks he’s the best in the circus, he has a reason to believe that and is trying to help everyone become as successful as him in his own way. Ben is very awkward, which is why I absolutely love Trilo. He’s the one that steals the show, especially during his testimony. He is an asshat, but he’s the likable asshat you love to hate. Regina is absolutely adorable. You can see that she’s always bright and trying to make everyone’s lives better. It makes sense why Max feels so connected to Regina more than the other circus members. She’s completely devoted in her abilities and knows that, when it comes to performing and bringing the wow in the audience, you go big or go home. Her passion comes from putting smiles in everyone’s faces. Even when tragedy hits, she tries to see the bright side to the situation. Acro is someone, who is patient, kind and wants to see the best in everyone. His only downfall was allowing his grief control his better judgement, though the same can be said for Regina. 

The entire circus as a whole, even Moe, are a family and it’s clear from the way they treat each other. Sure, they may get annoyed or downright jealous of each other, but they still love and care for one another. It is when the entire circus begins recognizing Max’s innocence that they gift him with cartons of milk. At the end of the day, they’re still family and always have been. The fact you have unlikable characters like Moe and maybe Trilo shows that no one is likable. They can be annoying, jerks or downright stupid at times. But, when push comes to shove, they have each other’s backs. Just take away the awkward love triangle and you have a very excitable bunch that can be a roller coaster of ups and downs.

Having a circus like this with a murder case like this is a great parallel to the overarching conflict to Justice For All. During this game, Miles Edgeworth had left a note declaring his death before disappearing without a trace. Both Phoenix Wright and Franziska Von Karma are grieved by this. Phoenix Wright deals with this grief through anger and blaming Franziska and her father for their corrupt beliefs leading Miles Edgeworth down a suicidal path. He also is angry at Miles Edgeworth for being a coward and giving up on life. Franziska also deals with her own grief through anger and blaming Phoenix for defeating Miles Edgeworth, claiming that to be the reason he left the suicide note. Like Phoenix, she is also angry at Miles Edgeworth for being a coward and giving up on everything he worked for, considering how much she looked up to him. Just like Phoenix and Franziska, Regina and Acro deal with their grief for Bat’s tragedy through emotion: happiness. Regina uses her happiness to deal with her grief like how Phoenix uses his anger to deal with his own grief. The same can apply to Acro. Like Franziska, Acro blames Regina for his brother’s accident and takes all his grief out on her. He knows that they were very close, perhaps even had puppy dog crushes on each other, but still allowed his grief to swell and took it all out on the very person his little brother cared about the most. The same can be said about Franziska, whether or not you consider Miles Edgeworth’s relationship with Phoenix Wright romantic or platonic. There is no other case I can think of with such complex connections and parallels as close to the overarching story as this one did. 

This case was also the one that showed the best out of Franziska and Phoenix, especially in court. We begin understanding why Franziska is angry at Phoenix and that the connection is with Miles Edgeworth, not her father. We see Franziska’s devotion to her job is not as corrupted as Justice For All built her up to be. Unlike with Turnabout Samurai, where Miles Edgeworth showed this by asking for more testimony from Dee Vasquez, despite knowing he would lose the case, Franziska shows this by thoroughly searching throughout the entire circus to the point where Acro was forced to hide the murder weapon in his wheelchair. Even though Franziska will withhold evidence from the Defense, she’s also a devoted Prosecutor willing to search for the truth by whatever means necessary. She’s not one to allow a loss keep her from moving forward. She’s someone that is used to losing and being the underdog and Turnabout Big Top clearly shows that. This also shows one of Phoenix’s biggest flaws, that being how unempathetic he really is. Despite Franziska grieving over Miles Edgeworth’s loss, Phoenix shows no empathy for what she’s going through and treats her like trash. Franziska is the first and only prosecutor that Phoenix does treat unfairly. It makes sense why Franziska doesn’t learn the error of her ways, until Miles Edgeworth returns back her whip.

Speaking of trials, I consider the trials to be the best part of Turnabout Big Top. It really challenges you and pushes you to your limit. Even the magatama parts know how to continually keep you guessing. Yes, they’re hard, but that’s why they are good at how they push you. The trials challenged you to think outside the box and look over each testimony and evidence carefully. Do I press on this part of the testimony again? Do I need to find a contradiction? Even the witnesses like Moe, Trilo and Acro are unique in their own way. Even though I got annoyed at Moe, unlike with Lotta Hart and Wendy Oldbag, Moe’s testimony didn’t feel like a waste of time. It showed his entire character arch from an annoying, obnoxious clown to a responsible leader. Trilo also shows the best of himself and how he can allow his jealousy to take over his common sense. It’s especially hilarious when you find contradictions to his statements. Acro shows himself as someone that will challenge anyone to take leaps of faith. It’s part of his character and who he is. He was willing to dive in to save his brother and challenges anyone to do the same. He’s also the only murderer to admit to feeling remorse for his actions in attempting to murder Regina. Also, Phoenix never once had to ask Mia for her help with this one. 

I can understand why so many people hated this case, but I also think it gets too much hate than it deserves. Sure, there are a lot of issues with it, but there’s a lot of good with it too. I will certainly remember most of the jokes and testimonies from this case than any other case. This was a case that took a lot of chances and pushed the player to their limit. I can’t name any other case in Justice For All that did that, other than maybe Farewell my Turnabout and even that one didn’t push you all the way.

What are your thoughts?

#ace attorney #turnabout big top #regina berry #acro #justice for all #aa2 #phoenix wright #Franziska von Karma

[infj-zen]

#GetSorted challenge

#GetSorted from mbti-sorted

Okay, for interest’s sake I’m going to answer a few of these questions in writing. It’s almost midnight, we’ve been in COVID-19 lockdown for a while now and I don’t look camera ready.

Actually, that’s an excuse.

I would not go on camera even if there were no pandemic.

To everyone who does the video challenge, congratulations on your bravery.

So, here goes...

Tell us about a teacher or a coach who left a big impression on you. I had a longstanding EFSJ music teacher who would probably be considered charismatic, dominant, driven, hot-tempered, sometimes extremely funny. She emphasized repetition so that all her students had as close to perfect technique as possible. You were not allowed to have any input into her methods and students with a lot of opinions usually left or were asked to leave. She was very good at teaching the way she taught and for some students her methods worked particularly well. I learned that I did not like learning by repetition and did not retain as much that way. However, by subjugating my own preferences I was forced to address my weaknesses. Maybe it resulted in personal growth in terms of seeing the value of repetition in developing physical technique, muscle memory, and the memorization of music. I think it would have helped to also have combined the emphasis on repetition with explanations of the history and theory of the music in order to more fully understand and retain what I had learned. I also learned how to be self-effacing when I needed to be and not to insert ego or opinions where they were not wanted when I later had bosses with similar personality traits. I learned to be more selective and to actively try and put myself in long-term situations where I would be learning/working in the ways most conducive to me. Besides this learning experience, I had some really amazing science and English teachers in later years of high school and university. These were mostly ENTPs along with a few ENFPs and ENTJs. I found the ENTJs often had the most clear explanations for complex subjects. The best ENTP teachers were often very personally considerate and good at explaining things in ways that were easily understandable to me; I was good at synthesizing their ideas. The ENFPs were probably more smooth speakers and yet somewhat less easy to follow for me (they probably also addressed weakness in how I learned, for example, by not always explaining what they wanted super clearly beforehand; learning was a lot of trial and error; we did a lot of acting and oral presentations in class; Ne and Te make for a different way of thinking theoretically, of connecting ideas and facts).

What was your favourite subject in school and did you pursue it as a career? English and Chemistry. I pursued English in University and probably would have gone into Chemistry otherwise. However, I then realized I liked researching as an activity more than actually doing all that academic English involved and ended up studying and working in social sciences - somewhere I never considered when I was younger. A background in literature and writing is generally useful in the various jobs I’ve had though.

Do you have any athletic injuries and how did you get them? Yes, tendonitis from dancing (repetitive jumping and landing on the ball of the foot). This was as a child and it was not permanent.

Do you believe in any supernatural phenomena? No, but I can imagine a lot.

Tell us about a recurring conflict with a family member. Probably the most recent common recurring conflict revolves around being in a conversation with ‘a family member’ who is not listening and responding appropriately. For example, I am talking and ‘a family member’ to whom I am speaking responds by addressing something that takes on a totally different issue from that which I just referenced. Is the listening fine and the responding not? Is the listening poor and the responding good? Are both the listening and the responding off? Is my articulation poor? Is it mind manipulation?

What character do you identify with the most and why? The closest thing I’ve seen on screen is probably Caroline Turing in Person of Interest. Episode 23, Season 1 of POI features an INFJ actress playing something very close to an INFJ psychologist. Her mannerisms, speech patterns and interactions with her ISTP co-star (playing an ISTP former-military-guy-acting-as-a-patient-to-save-her-from-hitmen) are pretty realistic. Unfortunately, her real character, Samantha Groves aka Root, a serial killer for hire is only pretending to be Caroline Turing in order to gain access to the ISTP’s INTJ computer genius boss (played by an INTJ) and his AI surveillance system. So, the portrayal of this character only lasts for one episode.

How many languages do you speak?  Is English your first language?  If it isn’t, answer a question in your native language (please summarize it after in English!). Two. English (native speaker) and French.

What advice would you give to your younger self and what would they think of where you are now? Would you warn them about anything? Maybe just that what fields you enjoy studying in and working in may end up being different areas. In terms of having better job prospects, I might advise my younger self to study a subject like software engineering (which I didn’t have a lot of knowledge of or exposure to through our high school education system). That might be very useful in finding a fulfilling job now or in complementing the degree or field I went into. Also, I was extremely driven when I was younger and I would probably advise myself to take school more slowly, less courses at a time, more time to focus on course work, and generally to manage things in a way that resulted in less burnout.

Do you people-gather?  (If you’re unsure, ask others in your group(s) if they’re there because of you.)  How many groups do you belong to, and what do you think of this? Not so much for the people-gathering. I do not join a lot of groups. Usually, when I do, it is because I got dragged into it by someone charismatic and friendly. I often stay with the group for a relatively lengthy period. I end up feeling highly committed out of a sense of loyalty to the recruiter/group. At some point I end up leaving the group (often involves physically moving away to justify) and having a sense of extreme burnout when the mention of joining anything similar comes up.

Are you passionate about your career? Tell us about it. Sort of. I went into my career with the idea that I would have less chance of burnout if I went into something I was dispassionate about. For example, less interaction with people (using Fe) and more paperwork (using Ni and Ti). Some of my jobs have involved a lot of customer service and the use of Fe all day was overstimulating and emotionally draining. The best jobs so far involved working at a desk 9-5 and basically using a lot of Ni and Ti while organizing information in systems. This felt like meditating; I would achieve a zen-like state and feel energized afterwards. I would not say I was passionate about the nature of the work but the zen-like feeling was nice. In terms of being passionate, I think I might prefer a job that involved more of a research component. I think I would like to feel more challenged, to learn a lot of new things every day. However, I would not like to be in a career that feels too passionate for really long periods of time, or in a high-stress environment that would result in burnout. I would like more of a balance. You can always find hobbies you are passionate about on the side.

Which holiday brings you the least joy? Labour Day. The thought of going back to school or work ruins it.

Are you a heartbreaker or a heartbreak-ee? 50-50.

What is your dream car?  Or if you aren’t into cars, what piece of technology do you dream of owning? I really like my laptop.

Would you rather make a lot of money at a job you hate or do a job you love that keeps you below the poverty line? I would rather have a job I love that keeps me below the poverty line because I don’t spend a lot. However, I would not like to have a job that keeps me way below the poverty line, because then I would feel used and would start to hate the job that kept me so much below the poverty line.

Do you collect anything? Other than information gathering, not really. The idea of accumulating large quantities of physical items and taking care of all of them sounds like a lot to think about or unnecessary stress.

Have you ever had any alternative career paths/life gameplans?  Do you wish you had taken another path in retrospect? Sure. Chemistry or Software Engingeering looked interesting and probably would have helped in the job market, even in combination with the field I’m in. That way, my skills might have been more of a focus than personality, career-wise.

Do you have a good sense of direction?  How do you navigate (when you can’t rely on GPS)?  Do you navigate new places/buildings the same way you navigate your home town/familiar buildings?  Is your sense of time better or worse than your sense of direction? No, I do not have a good sense of direction. Mbti-sorted is the only person I know whose sense of direction is worse than mine. And that only applies when walking somewhere. When driving somewhere, she has a better sense of direction. I am decent but not excellent with maps, professionally made and drawn by me. With a place I know well, I just walk around without thinking much. Usually it’s okay. Sometimes, I’m surprised to be lost in a place I thought familiar. With new places, I usually plan ahead. I study maps, bring them with me, compare the map with the physical reality around me for similarities and differences, get upset by perceived inaccuracies, visualize the layout of the land if the land and the map were flipped in different directions, try and detect logical patterns in street layouts and names, I try and remember locations of importance and what they look like, directions between key starting points and destinations, and I take down numbers for taxis in case of failure. Sometimes I walk new streets rather than drive in order to actively experience routes more slowly and have time to memorize them better. My sense of time is okay but not great. I feel the need to meet deadlines. I remember I used to rush to classes at the last minute for school, but I guess I did feel the need to get there on time. I have learned to avoid rushing, to be more responsible and set alarms and to carry a cell phone with a clock around with me to arrive on time and often early for important events. Probably my sense of time is better than my sense of direction.

Credit to Temple Grandin for this question: if I tell you to think of a church steeple, what’s happening inside your head? (You could also talk about a clock tower, or a water tower, or a minaret - something you are familiar with, but have less personal connection to works best.) I immediately thought of a white, aluminum sided cube topped by a black pyramid with light blue sky in the background. My mind was adverse to or somehow felt it unnecessary to think beyond that.

Would you be unable or unwilling to answer any of these questions?  Which? No, in that I answered all the questions. I guess I did so in writing and was unwilling to answer them on video. I think you can almost always figure out how to phrase things in a way that is acceptable to you in writing. Yes, in as much as message is affected by medium.

C. ANSWER THESE THREE QUESTIONS (30 seconds):

How much preparation did you do before making this video?  If you have an interviewer, did you pick the questions or did they?  Who decided to do it that way? A bit / no interviewer / me

What type do you think you are? INFJ

In 1-3 adjectives, describe how you think others see you. Calm and conscientious (from collegues and acquaintances), scrappy (from family).

#mbti #infj #getsorted

[powerfultulips]

trans asks gimme the trans asks

1. How did you choose your name?

trial and error

2. What gives you the most dysphoria? (Acknowledging that not all trans people experience dysphoria)

having to shave

3. Do you have more physical dysphoria or more social dysphoria?

social

4. What do you do to perform self-care when you’re feeling dysphoric?

talk to friends who see me as myself

5. What was the first time you suspected you were transgender?

idk i was probably in college

6. When did you realize you were transgender?

i don’t think it really set in until i was 20 or 21

7. What is your favorite part of being transgender?

being sexy and epic

8. How would you explain your gender identity to others?

i’m girl but i also have no gender. but i have all the genders. and i’m baby.

9. How did you come out? If you didn’t come out, why do you stay in the closet? Or what happened when you were outed?

i think i mainly used social media to come out

10. What have your experiences with packing or wearing breast forms been?

haven’t tried

11. What are your experiences with binding or tucking?

haven’t tried. i’ve worn binders, but i’m amab. i just like how they feel

12. Do you pass?

god no

13. What (if any) steps do you want to take to medically transition?

i’m still not sure, i don’t know if i’ll medically transition at all tbh. can’t get over my fears of surgery and pills

14. How long have you been out?

a couple years i think?

15. What labels have you used before you’ve settled on your current set?

basically all of them. mlm, genderfluid, demiboy, nonbinary, lesbian, bi/pan, aroace.... yeehaw.

16. Have you ever experienced transphobia?

probably, but i’m very naïve

17. What do you do when you have to go to the bathroom in public?

usually i go to the boys’ bathroom because i don’t wanna get beat up. if there’s a gender-neutral bathroom i will use it about 80% of the time

18. How does your family feel about your trans identity?

i think they’re slowly accepting it, but they really suck at using my pronouns

19. Would you ever go stealth, and if you are stealth, why do you choose to be stealth?

no, i don’t want to

20. What do you wish you could have shared with your younger self about being trans?

it’s okay to be a girl

21. Why do you use the pronouns you use?

comforble

22. Do your neurodivergencies affect your gender?

yeah

23. What’s your biggest trans-related fear?

other than like straight-up getting murdered, probably just not being able to transition

24. What medical, social, or personal steps have you already taken to start your transition?

i’ve come out to most people in my life, but medically i haven’t done anything.

25. What do you wish cis people understood?

how much their words can hurt

26. What impact has being trans affected your life?

helped me make a lot of nice friends

27. What do you do to validate yourself?

i save things on tumblr to look at later

28. How do you feel about trans representation in media?

shrugs. i don’t consume a lot of media but i think it would be cool to have more trans rep

29. Who is your favorite trans celebrity?

nat /@/ puff aka left at london

30. Who is the transgender person who has influenced you the most?

probably like, my fiancé tbh (does olives is out their bf????)

31. How are you involved with the trans community, IRL or online?

i mostly just try to be a good role model and mentor to younger trans folks.

32. How do you see yourself identifying and presenting in 5 years?

probably similar to how i am now, i’d like to try wearing more dresses and skirts and like. fishnets and ripped jeans and the whole punk look,,,, but realistically i will probably just be sitting here in a t-shirt, boxer briefs, and sweatpants

33. What trans issue are you most passionate about?

it should be easier to legally change your name, and also trans fucking rights babey

34. What advice would you give to other trans people, or what message would you like to share with them?

you’re valid and beautiful and i want to give you lots of hugs

35. How do you feel your gender interacts with your race, disability, class, weight, etc. from the perspective of intersectionality?

hm. i’m fairly privileged so i guess i can’t speak for some of these, but i do consider myself disabled. i dunno how they interact though *shrugs*

36. What, if any, is the difference between your gender identity and your gender expression?

i identify as nonbinary, but i would like to express myself more femininely. androgyny would be good too though

37. Do you feel more masculine, feminine, or neither?

feminine

38. What is your sexual and romantic orientation, and what are your thoughts on it?

i just use queer at this point tbh

39. Is your ideal partner also trans, or do you not have a preference?

t4t gang babey

40. How did/do you manage waiting to transition?

i simply sit here and vibe

41. What is the place (blog, website, forum, IRL space) you get most of your info on being trans or on trans related things?

@transgenderteensurvivalguide​ is good

42. Do you interact with other trans people IRL?

yes but not enough of them. want more trans friends

43. Are you involved in any trans-related activism?

kinda casually, but yeah

44. Free space! Answer any question you want, or make up your own question to answer.

my bonus question is uhhhhh i love u @literally-an-envelope will u marry me

#asks #olives.txt

[astrologysvt]

Chart First Impressions: Seungcheol

For more SVT astrology posts, follow my blog! Check out my masterlist to see all the readings I’ve done so far and what I’ve got coming up! 💫

This is just a very general reading of the member’s charts — the parts that popped out to me, things I personally liked, things I thought were interesting or contrary to the image I have of them. I’m not looking at anything in particular with each reading. Some of their readings may be more aspect focused, where some may just focus solely on their personal planets and their signs. If you have any questions on specific aspects or want to request a more specific reading, feel free to send me an ask! 

the leo king we don’t deserve

he exemplifies the best leo traits imo.

so sweet, so generous with affection.

i can go on for hours about how he’s such a great leo but i’ll save that for another time.

a leo sun with a cap moon is almost destined to achieve great things.

with the ambition and confidence of a leo mixed with the sense of purpose and responsibility of a cap, they are bound towards success even if it comes with great trial and error.

they also tend to not be aware of their talent, as cap influences usually give the native a sense of insecurity despite the competence they exude.

capricorn is a sign that brings stability, and the moon in and of itself is meant to be a turbulent influence on the chart.  

a capricorn moon can often times feel as though they are swimming against the current for this reason as they are constantly attempting to bring consistency to an aspect of their lives that’s meant to be dynamic.

they expect themselves to constantly be able to perform and they hold themselves to such a high standard that when emotions naturally arise or circumstances prevent them from doing so, they struggle to give themselves slack.

they quite literally cannot fathom that they can be affected in such a way.

and to give them credit, they have such a strength of character that most of the time they still end up doing the things they set out to do regardless.

but where they struggle and where their fears lie, is in the fear of letting others as well as themselves down. they are obsessed with seeing things to completion and simply can’t tolerate anything less, and often times this concept in and of itself is a heavy enough burden for them to carry.

where leo comes in in this combo is in ambition, passion, creativity, and charm.

how charming and naturally confident cheol is, in combination with his enduring cap moon, makes him that super capable leader we all know and love.

he’s got a lot of energy flowing to his mars in libra

his sun in leo, venus in leo, and jupter in sag are all flowing energy to his mars which makes him an extremely affectionate and passionate guy.

mars being in libra means he THRIVES being around people and sincerely loves being in an environment where he feels he’s contributing and bouncing off of people he loves and respects.

ultra honest, optimistic, and sincere and has absolutely no qualms in expressing his appreciation.

super energetic and honestly just enjoys life and people.

with that being said, his mars is squared his moon in cap which can play out in a couple of different ways.

(side note: can you believe all 95 line have this aspect).

this aspect means that everything mars touches is susceptible to the fluctuation of the moon.

generally speaking, this can give him a tendency towards explosive anger and general moodiness

in cheol’s case, it’s more than likely that the cap moon insecurity and his high expectations have a great influence on this aspect of him as well.

almost everything about his chart shows that he’s an all or nothing person. his leo placements are incredibly stubborn while his cap moon means he seldom gives up on his goals.

this can mean that, if things don’t pan out how he wants, the slump he experiences afterwards is significant.

it effects his vitality, his optimism, his passion, and this can be extremely draining and, as the aspect implies, can cause bouts of frustration and anger.

his leo and cap placements make him ultra obsessive so he tends not to let things go easily either, which can add to this feeling of “if this doesn’t work out then what else is there.” (tho that may be a bit too dramatic)

that’s just one way to look at it, and it’s highly dependent on his circumstances.

it’s important that he relies on people he loves, and learns to offer himself more understanding. he may struggle in realizing that the responsibility doesn’t solely lie on him and that he’s allowed to have set backs.

his saturn is super well aspected with the other outer planets.

this really solidifies the fact he’s capable of great things.

saturn sextile uranus makes him incredibly inventive, intelligent, inquisitive.

saturn sextile neptune makes him imaginative yet practical.

saturn trine pluto gives him such a strong sense of purpose, willpower, and determination. his resilience is unbelievable and he has the confidence to match.

all of these placements give him such great and grand ideas and he has the willpower and means of seeing them to fruition.

not only that, but with a saturn in pisces this gives him a very honest, sincere, emotional, and less than concrete way of expressing these traits (i.e. via art or even philosophy).

the pisces/neptune influence is strong which kind of turns his super stable and stubborn chart into one that’s much more impressionable.

it’s very interesting because his personal planets are super steadfast, super dedicated and determined, while he also has this very soft aura about him thanks to these outer influences and if you look at his chart they are almost completely separate (check out his chart in my chart masterlist)

they make two mirroring triangles and i imagine that’s what it feels like to him.

there is a bunch of different ways that this kind of “pattern” can play out in his chart but here is one way to look at it:

it’s a mixture of vital, active, and intellectual (personal planets) vs. soft, artsy, and spiritual (outer planets).

in his control vs out of his control

tangible vs intangible

it can feel like he has this very strong calling/sense of responsibility, and this can be overwhelming as there is this separation between what he feels he’s capable of vs. what’s expected of him.

this is also where i can imagine he may experience doubt as he has this sense of purpose but cannot fathom the willpower that’d actually take.

this is where i’m gonna stop with this interpretation because i’d really need to know him better to give a truly honest reading.

but i do think it’s incredibly interesting how, the softest part of his chart, lies in his saturn. he may feel he’s too weak willed (which he isn’t) thanks to this, or may feel as though he needs to stand his ground more than he’d naturally tend towards.

what’s interesting thoooooooo

is the only way that these two sections meet is via his mercury which is quincunx to his saturn, uranus, neptune, and semisextile his pluto.

it’s through mercury’s sense of communication and curiosity that he can bridge this gap and tap into this aspect of him that may feel is too illusive/unpredictable.

he’d also probably benefit and feel comfort being in environments and with people with strong gemini/virgo influences as well as potentially pisces placements.

generally environments where passions are shared, ideas are freely tossed around, that also give him a creative outlet.

and will you look at that, that sounds like svt

even seventeen as a group’s sign is literally gemini since they debuted on May 26th, so i dunno

it’s in the stars my dude.

#seventeen #svt #seungcheol #scoups #choi seungcheol

[captainnickjohn-blog]

Hold My Beer. I Need a Career.

Forgive me, I'm a sucker for stupid rhymes.

I normally really don't enjoy bringing attention to myself, but for my first blog post, I wanted to, well....bring attention to myself.

Specifically, I wanted to write about my interest in beer. You might be wondering, "yea, who isn't interest in a beer right now?", or just straight up, "how is that even an interest?"

Well, over the last couple years I've spent time reading books, watching videos, visiting places, speaking with experts, all about beer. It’s something I've appreciated learning more about and I wanted to discuss how this interest has brought me to where I am today. This is an exercise in reflection for me. For you, there are some insights about me as well as some decent photos of beer!

I'll be examining how my beer interest came about and how I threw myself into it. I'll also talk about how I hoped to take this interest and turn it into something of a career. Finally, some thoughts about where my head is now and how my goals may have altered, but not eliminated something that I really enjoy.

Also just FYI, it's been really f**king hot outside. Let this post be a reminder to cool off with a delicious, cold pint. *insert wink face*

Beer Beginnings

It was September of 2016, I was a line cook at Jack Astor’s and I just got moved up to becoming a server. Moving from a line cook position to serving was a lot to take in all at once: learning the steps of good service, carrying three full plates at a time (took a lot of trial and error, and hungry irritated guests), and learning all of the different specialty drinks and beers.

At that time, Jack Astor's had over 20 draught taps and already I was wondering, "how on Earth am I going to remember all of these?" As luck would have it, the restaurant decided to add an additional 20 taps to their repertoire, which made me double down with, "Seriously, how on EARTH am I going to remember all of these??"  

Memorizing the names of all the beers was one thing, but retaining every beer's style, flavour profile, aroma, and attitude (I’m kidding, that's not a thing) were daunting to me. My solution: I had to learn about beer!

Back then, I was only drinking classics like Canadian or Budweiser; if it were hot enough I'd even go for a Kronenbourg Blanc or a Shock Top, but for me, that was a bit of a rarity. Hell, I honestly didn't even know that beer was broken up into two categories: ales and lagers, maybe YOU didn't even know that!

So to tackle this problem of mine, I took the time to watch several beer videos and look at beer infographics. Once I felt I knew about enough about the foundations of beer, I went back to the Astor's 40+ draught beer menu and guess what - it took WAY less time than I'd thought to remember all of the beers!

My work was done; I knew all 40+ beer taps and their styles, and I could even somewhat comfortably talk about the beers’ tastes to guests (with a pinch of BS). However, the more I spoke about beer at work and after reflecting on the beer learning I had done, I had the realization that I genuinely LOVED learning about beer. That whole process for me was actually kind of a blast. 

While writing this part I've thought about a time before this where I had a blissful learning experience, and I completely blanked. That was very telling to me. So, I figured I should commit myself to learn more about beer.

To get started, I ordered the mother of all beer books from Amazon, "The Oxford Companion to Beer." Given the size and scale of it, I prefer to call it The Holy Beerble:

P.S. I am aware I don't keep a very neat workspace, coffee stains and all.

Over 800 pages of diligent research on almost every single thing about beer that you could imagine. Beer countries? No problem. Beer styles? Yup. Beer history? Child's play. That one famous beer guy who did that one famous beer thing? It’s in there. This encyclopedia was amazing. The sheer amount of research done to create this is absolutely astounding. Even today, I will read through it and continue to make notes. I even ordered a couple more books on beer:

This was fun for me. I didn't mind taking the time to learn more about something I ACTUALLY liked.

Committing to the 'Craft'

Work at Astor’s was slowing down going into the winter of 2017. By then, I would casually read beer articles online or look through some of my beer books. Beer is a fun subject to learn about and share with others. That said, I felt that it was time I should try making my own beer! I knew a solid amount about the beer-making process already i.e. the mash, the boil, fermentation, bottling, etc., and I felt I should apply what I know to make something of my own. Maybe I could impress friends and family, save money on buying beer from the LCBO or The Beer Store, and it would add another layer to this new hobby of mine.

I figured a brewing kit would be my next subsequent Christmas gift to myself, so what I did was start simple: a 1-gallon starter kit, 10 empty beer bottles, bottle caps, bottle capper, other miscellaneous brewing equipment, and some 2-row barley and Cascade hops.

Homebrewing and commercial brewing are different behemoths, and I knew more about the commercial brewing process. That wasn't really going to help me here because I didn't have 50+ hectolitre tank to brew beer in, so I had to watch a few YouTube instructional home brewing videos to get in the right mindset.  

I was eager to brew my first batch: a SMaSH (Single Malt and Single Hop) pale ale. A super simple recipe to start with that would ideally lead to a nice tasting beer. For those who don't know, brewing beer require ALOT of both patience and (ugh) cleaning. Literally, I spent over half of my time brewing just cleaning all of the equipment again and again. Any sort of impurity, big or small, is enough to completely ruin a batch of beer. I already respected brewing as an art form, but I learned more about how difficult it really is to make delicious beer that adheres to a certain style. After a 6-hour brew day plus a few weeks of fermentation, this was the result:

Aesthetically, it's a nice looking SMaSH beer, right?! But the taste....let's just say the taste did not match the look. This was a very important lesson in detecting off-flavours in a beer. There was plenty of them.

I didn't get discouraged; I crafted a chocolate maple porter that tasted pretty solid as well as a decent red ale. Despite my improvements with small batches of beer, I really had a difficult time seeing myself get too serious about it. For one thing, I didn’t always have enough room to fit 10-12 bottles of beer in my fridge. Imagine I start making 5-gallon batches that can yield over 50 bottles of beer, where the hell would I put all that? And if I ruined the batch? That’s a hell of a lot of waste. So, I decided I’d stick with learning and not doing. 

YouTube videos and books are great and all, but it's helpful to have a more hands-on learning experience. Enter Prud'homme - a Canadian beer education program with 4 levels of certifications, the top one being "Level 4 - Beer Sommelier."

Prud'homme Level 1 was a lot of fun, and while I knew the lion's share of introductory beer knowledge, the class gave me, even more, to think about. It was a group of 10 in my class (including myself), and each class we were given different styles of beer to try. Up until then, I never really kept any actual notes of the beers I've had, but in class, we would dissect a beer's taste, mouthfeel, finish, colour, clarity, and additional info.

The longer I was in the class, the more I realized that I preferred talking about a beer's characteristics over brewing the beer myself. I'd bought and read all these beer books, I've experimented with brewing, and now I've worked towards my Level 1 Beer Enthusiast certification; clearly, there's something here for me to dive into. I'd been out of school for over a year by that point, and here was this interest of mine that I'd spent time on.

I thought to myself that I should take this more seriously and try to shape this newfound passion of mine into the beginnings of a career.

The Pursuit of Hoppiness

That nugget of internal thinking actually helped influence my decision to apply for a postgraduate degree. Before this, I'd been glancing at different school programs in London, Waterloo, Toronto, etc., but it was mostly looking at programs that might complement my Criminology degree i.e. social work.

If I'd taken this strongly to learning about beer, how can I apply that interest and start a career? I did some thinking over a couple of weeks and ultimately, I decided that getting into marketing could be an excellent opportunity to pursue my interest. Not to mention that marketing is a very versatile degree that would open a lot of doors for me.

I liked the idea of being able to help out the little guy (small-scale craft/micro-brewers) over becoming a cog in the wheel of the bigger beer corporations. Ultimately, I found my way to the George Brown College Digital Media Marketing program web page. It checked off a lot of points on my program criteria list: 1-year in length, a good distance from London, learning all about digital tools used in the workplace, and a semester of work experience!

Getting Forked

Now that I'd made a decision to pursue marketing that could lead to a gig marketing beer, I figured I should find some REAL work experience of being in a brewery.

First and foremost was trying to get a job at Forked River Brewing Company. By then I had met and developed a solid rapport with a few of their staff, and eventually, it led to me landing a job there!  

In mid-March, I was hired to help in different areas around the brewery. Sometimes the bosses needed me to work retail or within the brewery, it really depended on the demand of that week. My main goal was to get a very clear idea of how a brewery operates and about their approach to marketing.

On the retail side, I would talk with customers about the beer, sharing with them all of the traits of the beers. There were also other run-of-the-mill retail tasks like handling the cash register, stocking the shelves, or just making sure that people don't steal any beer.

During my time in the brewery itself, I would mostly help the brewmasters with canning (so. many. f***ing cans.) and filling up kegs, but I was also given a chance to help with the actual brewing. I'd go in twice a week early in the morning and work for about 5-6 hours. What I enjoyed the most was the very relaxed atmosphere compared to my time at Astor's. Both were fun, but for entirely different reasons.

I was even given a chance to work a couple of beer festivals around London and in Sarnia. Those days were the most fun because I could speak about the beers with confidence and encourage festival-goers to try our stuff. Overall, I had a great time over at Forked River and I am grateful to have had that opportunity.

George Brown Ale

Before I knew it, September came along and I was starting my program at George Brown. It felt weird to be back in school but I was excited to be taking this step towards a new career. In order to keep my mind fresh on everything beer, I got a job as a bartender at Biermarkt Don Mills; they've got 150+ beers including draught and bottles. Weekends were my game, closing bar Friday through Sunday (goooood times).  They were kind enough to give me another beer book that doubled as an employee handbook:

This new program was looking to be a great fit. It's worth noting though that I had spent a lot of my internship search on breweries or beer distribution companies. I wasn't having much luck with that until the next best thing came along - My Wine Canada, a wine/spirits marketing and sales company right down the street from my school building.

Was it beer? Nope. But it's the next best thing.

And also, wine's pretty great! The role itself was "Digital Marketing Manager", very expensive-sounding, right?

What enticed me about it was this internship would give me as close a perspective of what it's like to handle the marketing for beer as I could get. I was setting up social media content calendars, editing and creating photo content, writing wine blogs, drafting weekly emails, and coming up with catchy and funny captions.

Seeing the Bigger Pitcher

The funny thing is, after spending four months with My Wine Canada, I wasn't as certain about wanting to find a marketing job related to beer. Oddly enough, I spent so much time obsessing about finding a job just like it, that I forgot to really sink my teeth into marketing. I was surprised to find that I really liked learning about marketing. Made me reflect (again) on what I was doing.

In my final semester, I've wondered about whether or not my priorities were as straight as they should have been. For most of this program, I've been so narrowly focused on finding a marketing job involving craft beer that I may have completely missed other great opportunities. I don't want that to happen going forward, so I'm taking that into account and keeping an open mind without losing sight of why I got into this program in the first place. Beer is a hobby that's going to stick around in my life and because of it, I have gotten involved in great things and introduced me to some amazing people, and I wouldn't trade that away.

[mayday-phanade]

ARAMAKI YOSHIHIKO 08/08/18 BLOG POST TRANSLATION - Looking Back on Tousute: Hiden Yui no Me no Hototogisu

VERY VERY ROUGH TL ;; MASSIVE SPOILERS AHEAD!

so many typos (?) and i took liberties with most… anyway we got a very relatable boy right here… the best mknb fic ive ever had the pleasure of reading.. from the man himself. we don’t deserve him.

Read under the cut! 

Tousute Hiden ended 10 days ago.

How is everyone doing?

I am currently doing Sengoku Night Blood’s rehearsals

And in other days I do a lot of other work too.

Two months

No, when you add the practice time

I did Tousute for three months

A few days after the final performance,

Somehow, there’s a suffocating, wrong, and murky feeling

I did the Nico Nico broadcast,

I was able to share even just a little of my own thoughts to everyone

That calmed [the wrong feelings] down.

Because Senbura Live has ended,

I thought I should write a looking-back blog post.

I have so many feelings over Tousute

So this might become a bit incoherent but,

Please pardon me.

And it will probably be long.

When you have the time, I would be happy if you could read it.

Then–

ーーーーーーーーーーーーーーー

Stage play Touken Ranbu Hiden Yui no Me no Hototogisu

Tousute Kyouden was two years ago.

From then

Kyouden Saien (replay)

Giden

Gaiden

Jyoden

Hiden

I have performed in them all.

I have always worked in all of the Tousute’s up until now Because I was allowed to appear.

Hiden is my 6th work [in the series].

If you count all of the performances together, a total of 178.

For a really long time, I have been in Tousute

It’s a really great honor.

By the time of Kyouden’s premiere

I have been decided to appear as Yamanbagiri Kunihiro

From there,

Mikazuki and Yamanbagiri’s story begun.

Hiroki-kun and I,

Since the rehearsals for Saien

This Tousute’s story, what kind of concept would it be

From Suemitsu-san I was allowed to hear just a little bit.

Eventually, Mikazuki and Yamanbagiri will fight.

When I heard that

“I want to do that scene already!!

But before I could do that scene, I had to do so much more first

First, I had to look ahead.

But I want to do it already!“

I had those fluttering thoughts.

I didn’t think that the ending

would turn out to be like that.

I was played. (or literally: he got me there.)

I was really surprised.

When I heard that Yamanbagiri would fight Mikazuki,

That Yamanbagiri would surpass Mikazuki,

Maybe it was a story that would show his growth

Is what I thought!

To think that he would lose.

And with a farewell, at that!!

Suemitsu-san really played [me] there.

If this ending has been planned from the very beginning of Tousute’s story,

I would like to take a look in Suemitsu-san’s head.

Just what is going on in there?

I had those thoughts while I was in rehearsals,

The real thing

The first performance in Meijiza Theater

From the stage where we practiced,

It’s a play that really exhausts your energy Is what I thought but

The amount of passion the audience has shown Further exceeded my expectations.

The people who saw it too, In such a fast pace,

Surprised,

then saddened,

I wonder if you were all tired after the performances?

I think that would be a given if you were to see something like Hiden

The citadel was attacked. Mikazuki cut Shokudaikiri down.

Our Master made an appearance.

Hasebe and Fudou came back

Mikazuki left the citadel

And lastly, Mikazuki and Yamanbagiri fought And it ends there.

I’m sure it was a story that no one saw coming.

A painful story.

Every after performance, I felt varying levels of tiredness.

One of the reasons why I felt absolutely knackered

Was because of the scene with Mikazuki.

The story’s ending,

The scene of parting with Mikazuki

I didn’t want to cry but my tears came out anyway.

Before me,

When I see the Mikazuki that is disappearing

A lot of memories will come up to me

No matter what, my tears will come up.

There were performances where I silently cried,

and performances where I was wailing and sobbing

I entrusted all of my emotions to that single moment.

A play.

No,

it was no longer just a play anymore.

I was really mourning.

In the first performance(s),

I was merely sad to be fighting Mikazuki,

But after repeatedly performing,

“I will definitely save you.”

Is what I was thinking,

while fighting and crying with my heart out.

I fought with those feelings,

Losing was saddening,

I was frustrated with my weak self

And after I bid farewell to Mikazuki,

It was also hard to part there*

I always cried in that place.

But I wasn’t allowed to cry,

so I cried backstage**

There,

The Touken Danshi and the staff will greet me,

They will pat my back and say,

“Thank you for your hard work.”

Although there was only Mikazuki, Yamanbagiri, and Kogarasumaru on stage,

We fought together in every performance,

And got better in every performance.

But you know,

I myself was waiting for Yamanbagiri’s awakened form.

Thank god…

When will Manba-chan awaken…

Not yet? Not yet? I was waiting impatiently.

It was in the end of all ends, huh.

And now is different from the past

Awakened in slow motion

I was really happy to be able to awaken in such a strong and impactful highlight

And,

To be honest, I seriously pulled up my muscles

Even in the scenes where I was normally moving,

Slowly, in the slow-motion, I used my muscles in using the sword

But during those times the slow-motion really shines through

That slow motion with awakened form,

I personally loved it.

And to the people who waited for Manba-chan’s awakened form too, I’ll be happy if you are satisfied.

With that Manba-chan who’s awakened, I won against Mikazuki.

A promise with Yamanbagiri,

Mikazuki in another loop of time.

Mikazuki Munechika who is trapped in the loop,

Just how many times have you repeated the same thing?

The same with the number of our performances?

No,

Even more?

This is only my thinking but,

Since the very first time,

Mikazuki himself is trying to change his fate and,

He might have resisted and struggled with different ones.

But

Whatever he does

No matter how much he struggles

It all seems to end the same way.

In the end, he has to become enemy to the Touken Danshi

But there is one hope found somewhere in that repeating loop

The sun that illuminates the moon.

Mikazuki said so in the performances,

susuketa taiyou. (“You’re quite the sooty sun.”)

I wonder if that was referring to Manba-chan.

That’s why in Kyouden

He tutored Manba-chan in that short time.

Inside the endless loop,

Over and over, making mistakes, amidst trials and errors

He guided Manba-chan.

To a one-on-one talk with Manba-chan, and a last farewell

Time and time again, over and over, he called for Manba-chan

He wished for a ray of sunlight.

That was probably what Mikazuki was thinking

While he suffered.

However.

The long number of performances has passed

And in the final performance,

Yamanbagiri managed to win against Mikazuki.

A divergence from the initial endings

This place too shows that Suemitsu-san is amazing.

Only,

In that final performance’s fighting scene,

I don’t remember much.

The fighting scene which was a one-off sword fight.

I wanted to show off carefully in the real thing.

But in that moment,

I lost myself in the feeling of my victory

When I came to notice, Mikazuki has already withdrawn his sword.

Together since the rehearsals

No, together since Kyouden

With Hiroki-kun, who I crossed swords with for several years

It may just be my one-sided belief

With one another,

I’ve learned to understand my partner’s breathing patterns too,

Because it was with Hiroki-kun who I’ve been through so much with,

From that, the final performance’s fighting scene was born.

That’s what I think.

I want to watch it in DVD soon.

That fighting scene.

The farewell with Mikazuki.

Mikazuki’s unbelievable fate.

The Manba-chan who has carried this burden.

Even Mikazuki is looking to the future.

Looking forward to that someday when Yamanbagiri can once again be reunited with Mikazuki.

Walking together towards Tousute’s citadel

For sure, someday.

To laugh together again with Mikazuki

For the day when that will arrive,

I’m wishing for it.

Truthfully,

For the time that the sun can illuminate the moon.

For the time that his existence can become a guiding light.

Yamanbagiri can smile then.

Will that day come, I wonder?

To appear in this production,

I,

On a crossroad, decided on my right knee’s ligament’s (ACL) surgery.

After the surgery, to not let my ligament rupture again

I paid utmost attention

I challenged the real thing

Supported by the staff and cast,

All 53 performances.

I was able to finish them all without injury.

But the fight with rehabilitation and weight training is not yet over.

In order to shine even more.

So I can give my fans much bigger dreams

I will devote myself to that.

Uguisumaru.

An elusive and philosophical person***

He loves Ookanehira too much.

Kogarasumaru.

Father.

Thank you for watching over everything.

Ookanehira.

Your upright heart encouraged us everyday.

Tsurumaru.

Day by day, with lies and surprises.

Someday, a moment will come when that will become reliable.

Kasen.

Fellow starter sword.

I’m glad I was able to fight with you in this show for so many times.

Shokudaikiri.

You’re good in cooking.

And good in singing too.

Fudou.

You’ve been kiwame’d.

You’ve gained a mantle.

You’ve grown, huh.

Hasebe.

A fellow comrade.

The Hasebe who has always silently supported Manba-chan and wished for his success.

Thank you.

Honebami.

We didn’t have much scenes together this time but

The scene where Honebami cried was a great scene too.

Daihannya.

Cool.

Really cool.

The figure who watched over Honebami was cool.

Nue.

Hototogisu.

You too, We are both fighting to protect our Masters.

Although we stand on different grounds,

You’re an excellent

Sword.

Mikazuki…

Because of you…****

Awakened Manba-chan.

The state of my repairs. Lol

Filling the trashcan up with ice water

In all the ends of performances,

I’d cool down my leg with this.

It’s very effective!

Then,

Thank you for reading up to this

I apologize for such a long and hasty writing.

The letters I received for these performances,

Presents,

Colored papers.

Thank you so much, everyone

I’ll gladly cherish and treasure all the presents

The letters and colored papers too

I’ll read them all carefully

It always brightens me up when I receive stuff from you guys

That energy

I wish I can return it to everyone

I’ll devote myself [to that] even more and more so,

From here on too

I’m looking forward to your support for Aramaki Yoshihiko.

Lastly.

From Kyouden

to Hiden’s story

Yamanbagiri Kunihiro has grown so much

I myself grew through this Tousute

Alongside Yamanbagiri Kunihiro I’m thinking I want to grow even more as him.

Through This participation in Stage play “Touken Ranbu”

I met Yamanbagiri Kunihiro

I’m really thankful.

The things that I could obtain from here Piece by piece

I’ve received the best and most important things in my life.

Thank you.

Touken Ranbu.

Touken Ranbu.

Someday,

Let’s start again.

Source: (x)

NOTES:

*円環 is literally a circle, or a ring.. but i translated it as The “loop” as implied in the play. 

** literally “the wing of the stage”, but to make the flow better i used “backstage”. the wing is the place where the actors exit from the stage, so like... almost backstage (lol) 

** ハケ not sure what this is meant to mean at all omg… i tried using “back” meaning backstage which would fit but idk man maybe he means entirely something else ;; it means brush as i recall but… was he brushing off his tears? i didnt think this could be used as a verb in that sense tho,, literally means like brush as in paintbrush or hairbrush? Sorry about this line!!

*** Not really sure if I read this right but it’s this 達観した物事の捉え方

**** Not sure how I wanted to translate it but it’s あんたのおかげで。。。if anyone is wondering hehe 

#aramaki yoshihiko #yoshihiko aramaki #tousute #hiden yui no me no hototogisu #hiden #translations #stage play touken ranbu #touken ranbu stage play #yamanbagiri kunihiro

[mybullshitsensesaretingling]

Abrasive

Request: Hey, I just wanted to say I'm a big fan of your work and I was wondering if you can write another spock x reader imagine where spock and reader hate each other but that's because they don't know how to express their feelings for each other and Jim locks them into the same room?Thank you😊 - @mateapejic17mp

A/N: Sorry this one took so long. I was trying figure out how to make it different than the last one.

“I’m a grown adult, Jim. I don’t have to be friends with anyone I don’t want to be,” you said, crossing your arms over your chest.

“Isn’t that the exact opposite of your job description?” he asked as he sorted through the pile of PADDs on his desk.

“I’m a diplomate, not a pleasure planet entertainer,” you snapped.

“No need to get snippy. I just think the six months you have to spend with us would go smoother if you got along with my first officer.”

You sucked in a deep breath and when you let it out a small, forced smiled pulled at your lips.

“Fine,” you said, “I’ll play nice.”

“You’re not going to though, are you?”

“No.”

Jim sighed and rubbed his face roughly with his hands.

You raised your shoulders. “Sorry.” Dropping your eyeline to your hands and starting to pick at your nails, you continued, “He just really grates my cheese.”

“Does he?” You could hear the laugh he was holding back.

“Like cheddar.” You stood up, preparing to leave. “And I refuse to - on principle - get along with him.”

“We’ll see about that,” he said as you walked out.

-

With three PADDs, two empty coffee cups, and one full one set out in front for you, you dove deeper into your work. A coworker’s voice came in an endless stream from one of the PADDs. You nodded along as she spoke, your figures working tirelessly on the other two screens.

“I was not aware you were in here,” Spock stated from the doorway.

“Jim said I could work in here,” you told him without looking up.

“I’ll come back later.” You heard him turn to go back through the door but instead of the usual swoosh sounding from it, an angry beep went off.

Now you looked up.

“What was that?”

“It appears the door has been locked,” he said.

“So unlock it,” you said returning to your work.

“I can’t.” You looked back up at him, prompting him to explain, “It has been locked using a code I do not have the clearance to.”

“Mary, I’m going to have to call you back,” you said to your coworker before ending the subspace transmission being displayed on your screen.

“I’ll contact the captain, explain that a mistake has been made,” Spock announced as he reached for the communicator.

“There was no mistake,” you sighed, leaning back in your chair. “We’ve been tricked.”

Spock’s eyes moved back and forth between you and the locked door trying to put it together.

“Jim,” he started slowly, “did this in an effort to get us to get along.”

“Well, get the man a prize,” you snarked.

“Perhaps Jim would not have found this necessary if it were not for your aggressive personality.” He turned back to the door, thinking up a way to get out. “Then we could both get back to work.”

The corner of your mouth twitched despite yourself. “And he bites back.”

Spock had no visible reaction to your comment.

“Might as well sit down and get comfortable; we’re going to be here for a while.” You tapped on one of your screens.

“You’re not going to try to appease the captain?” he asked.

“No, because while Jim seems to have confused our lives for an after school special where everyone can be friends, I’m grounded in reality enough to know that some people just aren’t meant for that.”

“You are suggesting that we are a pair of those people.” It wasn’t a question.

“You disagree?” you asked.

“Your stubborn and near immediate decision to dislike me has not left much room for me to disagree.”

You eyed him for a moment, before deciding to drop the conversation altogether. There was no point to it. You were a busy person and you didn’t have the time for any part of this situation.

It was hard to be productive while you were fighting to ignore Spock’s presence, commanding yet respectful, but you were determined to work through it. That was until the error notification showed up on your screen.

Letting out a load groan of frustration, you repeatedly hit the refresh button, knowing that it wouldn’t do anything.

“What are you doing?” Spock asked critically.

A message popped up on your PADD.

Jim T. Kirk:

Talk to him.

“Your dear captain cut off my connection to the server.” You tossed your PADD back on the table and added from between your teeth, “He’s insisting we talk.”

Raising an eyebrow, Spock waited in silence to see where you chose to go from there, his brown eyes - that you hated - studying you.

With a heavy sigh you made your decision, “I suppose we have no choice.”

“Shall we start with your distaste for me?” he asked crossing his arms. The sharp personality that you decided he had from the first look was in stark contrast with his soft features, which, just for the record, you also hated.

“I thought we’d dip our toes in, but okay, sure, let’s dive right into the deep end.” You straightened up in your chair. “You’re very abrasive.”

“I don’t see how that could be a valid reason given that you, yourself are quite abrasive.”

You narrowed your eyes, but found you couldn’t argue.

“You’re cold,” you offered as another reason.

“I do not believe my body temperature varies greatly from that of a human.”

You rolled your eyes. “No, closed-off. Indifferent. Unfeeling.”

“Now you are just demonstrating your ignorance of Vulcan culture.”

“Am I?” You crossed your arms, mirroring his posture.

“Vulcans are far from unfeeling.”

“Is this the part where you explain to me how ancient Vulcans were out of control because of their emotions and Surak saved the whole species with meditation? Because I’m already bored.”

He made a face that didn’t quite line up with any human expression.

“I’m sorry, that came off far more xenophobic than I intended.” You uncrossed your arms. “I understand that both your culture and biology play a role in how you display emotions and I’m sure it is just a matter of getting used to you, but honestly I’ve met plenty of Vulcans - and goldfish for that matter - that were better conversationalists than you.”

“You’re very up front with your opinions.”

You scoffed. “Because you’re so good at keeping yours to yourself?”

It was at this point that you were beginning to fully understand Jim’s reasoning behind locking the two of you in there. The realization of how fundamentally similar you and Spock were angered you more than anything Spock had ever actually said to you.

“I am not nearly as aggressive when presenting them,” Spock said.

“I prefer passionate.”

“You choose some odd things to be passionate about.”

“You don’t choose passion. It finds you,” you told him. “And it found me everywhere. It’s what makes me so good at my job.” You bit your lip and admitted in a quieter tone, “And really bad at it.”

“I don’t see how you can be both good and really bad at something.”

“Mmm. It is a gift,” you mused. “This trick is to be so amped up about things that you get others amped up and make them agree with you but then start fights when people don’t agree with you. Because you’re amped up.”

“I see,” Spock said simply.

With an absent minded hum, you reach for one of your screens, but your hand stopped halfway through its journey, when he spoke up again.

“Have you considered not fighting?”

You let out a breathy chuckle. “I have actually.”

“It was unsuccessful?” he asked in earnest.

“Doing my job without arguing would be like you doing yours without… I dunno, a microscope.”

“Fascinating.”

“Ya know, you have a great untapped potential as a debater,” you said as you grabbed a PADD that had pinged.

Jim T. Kirk:

See, you’re getting along. I was totally right to do this.

You quickly typed out a response.

(Y/N):

I’m punching you in the knee cap when I get out of here.

Jim T. Kirk:

And you’ll be totally justified.

“Is that Jim?” Spock asked.

“Why are we friends with him?” you asked instead of answering his question.

“I believe he conned us into it,” he said evenly.

You barked out a loud laugh. One of your hands flew up to cover your mouth as you stared at the man in surprise. He raised an eyebrow, but didn’t say anything. You lowered your hand an inch or two.

“Was that a joke?”

“It was merely a statement. Any humor you found in it was unintentional,” he told you.

“I’m sure,” you chuckled.

“Vulcans do not joke.”

“Maybe not. But you’re half human and you’re,” you pointed a finger at him, “funny.”

Your PADD pinged again.

Jim T. Kirk:

Tell him you like his butt.

“What sort of repercussions would I face if I kill someone while aboard this ship?” you asked, still glaring at Jim’s message.

“You would be placed in the brig until we reach the nearest starbase where you would be handed of to Federation authorities. From there you would be brought back to Earth where there would be a trial, presumably resulting in jail time,” Spock explained.

“So just the regular repercussions then? Good to know.” You set the PADD back on the table without responding to his message. “Did he have a little talk to you about me before locking us in here?”

“Yes. He seemed to believe my displeasure with you was a thinly veiled disguise for my romantic feeling for you.”

“Did he?”

“At the time, I very strongly disagreed.”

At the time? You tried to keep your cool, picking up your coffee cup to hide the whirlwind of thoughts that just started up in your mind.

“We had many similar conversations. Some of which shouldn’t be discussed in polite company.” You took a sip of your coffee that had long since grown cold.

“And did you agree with him?”

“I think it’s been well established that I like to argue.”

#spock #spock x reader #spock imagines #spock imagine #star trek #star trek imagines #star trek imagine

[danzillagrace]

The truth about being fucked up

With such a title, I guess I should go back to the beginning, and before you roll your eyes and think it is some boring complain rant it's not. Or maybe it is, I'm not sure but you chose to read this don't blame me with a title like that what did you expect, optimism?

So, as I was saying, the beginning. At fourteen I was wilder than anyone I know now in my junior year of college. Not an exaggeration and not a brag, simply a fact of the situation. I don't know many people who started drinking at such a young age but it was what I grew up with. We were wild and couldn't be tamed no matter who tried. I was a social butterfly without fear, I dated who I wanted, I partied when I wanted, and I certainly kissed who I wanted. Imagine being in love with someone (fourteen-year-old love) and waking up one random day, sitting in your room in the dark for hours and randomly breaking up with them. A year of a relationship over with a simple "I think we should just be friends" text and no second thought.

Looking back, I realize that was the beginning.

The truth about damaged people is simply there are two types, but with one constant; there is no grey area it is always extreme. Whether you are volatile or hysterical or explosive with your emotions, the people who everything is a trigger to deep feelings that cannot be contained. And then there is my type, those who feel nothing at all. No not in a sociopathic way I'm not a cat murderer, thank you very much. I mean that you are the self-destructive type, you chase feelings through the most treacherous paths.

Damage comes from just about anything, anything that pulls the rug from out from under you chips away at you bit by bit. Most people can cry for the "appropriate" amount of time and move forward, I envy them. Not to throw a pity party, but I have been through a lot; my father died which sent my once pillar of a mom into a spiral of drinking and dating like a sixteen your old and my big brother to not even want to look at me because I am just like my father. Then you go to travel camp, where you're gone from 7am to 4pm because no one knows what to do with you so they just shuffle you out the door. You don't like to have people talk about your father because it always causes your mom to cry and cry and you don't want that for her, so you just stop letting it come up in conversations. Now imagine doing it but this time you're ten. I didn't intentionally not grieve, but by the time everyone had done their grieving and noticed the words had never come out of my mouth, I was far too gone to be helped.

I was the girl who was the social butterfly, who laughed and fought and was passionate about just about everything until it just stopped. I felt nothing for anyone. The boyfriend was just the beginning, I was so annoyed by all our friends calling me asking me to reconsider because we were "such a great couple" when they couldn't see it meant nothing to me anymore, so I turned my phone off. Three days later, I begrudgingly turned the damn thing back on and I found out he was arrested for being drunk and stupid (again, we were a riley bunch) and I still felt nothing. The boy I had told I loved for months, who had been my best friend, getting in to trouble was nothing more than a blip on my radar and a fleeting one at that. I had spent my weekend sitting in my bed in the dark in silence and I didn't care, I found it to be peaceful.

My parents honestly were thrilled, the kid who was drunk and home in the middle of the night suddenly didn't want to go out at all. The troublesome boyfriend was gone and unlike the bajillion break ups before then, there were no hysterics, no "I can't live without him" or "you don't understand I love him" they thought I had matured overnight.

It was frightening to be so adventurous and full of life to simply nothing at all. So, I chased the thrill. I made out with all the wrong boys, the ex-boyfriends best friend and the boys my friends were so googly eyed over all of them. I wanted someone to get mad at me or scream and cry at me and make me feeling something. I would have taken regret or shame, anything was better than the silence.

"you need to be comfortable in the silence to be comfortable with yourself" what a crock of shit. I mean really, I sat in the silence and the only conclusion I came too was that I didn't understand why I even bothered. I don't believe in those inspirational quotes and these statements that the sun will come back out and you will start again. God do I want to though. I envy people who just can inspire themselves. I am more on the spectrum towards "if you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares back" type of girl. I mean it was the truth, I looked inside and found the most frightening thing, nothing at all.

So fast forward a smidge, and here I am. A 20-year-old college junior on more antidepressants than any human I've ever met. Its not that I hate my life, I enjoy my family, for the most part my friends, I have an amazing boyfriend despite the fact that I regularly consider leaving him simply because I want someone who sets my insides on fire. I go to an amazing school that I really enjoy.

So why am I even writing this you ask?

Because I am still so empty.

I don't know what I'm looking for, if its support or a light in the dark or simply another human who maybe doesn't think I'm a complete lunatic for not being happy enough.

I keep talking like someone is on the other end of this, when the truth is this will most likely be a document I save and close and forget all about.

In the off chance, I ever let this go anywhere and someone doesn't think about calling my mother with concerns I needed a padded room instead of my college apartment, maybe someone agrees. Hell, I'd even take someone offering the key to life.

So, this is day one. Maybe there will be a day two where I dish out all of the exceptionally fucked up parts of my relationship with a great guy I can't seem to just let in, or I'm unsure if I even want too. Maybe it will be why I have no friends from my home town because they got tired of waiting for me to return to the world from the abyss. Maybe it will be about how I am almost through a degree I can't pass and I have to start over and I'm scared shitless.

Maybe someone will have me committed, it's a real trial and error here

[skeletonpunching]

Vatican Miracle Examiner book recap - The Apostles Without Original Sin

Or the one where Hiraga and Roberto go to Japan, and then… uh.

Things this book definitely contains: Hiraga being adorable, your regular dose of Roberto whump, shady Vatican politics, lots of esoteric science and history, and spoilers for stuff past the anime.

Beyond that, I grow uncertain.

This post has been in the works for a very long time, partly because I found the plot of this book pretty confusing, even by VME standards.

The publisher’s official summary:

At Amakusa in Kumamoto Prefecture, a snowstorm is observed in midsummer, and a massive cross suddenly rises into the sky. At the same time, an ocean explorer who was shipwrecked in the sea nearby claims, "I was rescued by a beautiful black-haired angel." Hiraga and Roberto begin their miracle examination, but even more enigmatic mysteries and codes surface in the land of Amakusa, suffused with the remnants of the Hidden Christians’ faith. What is the truth behind the legend of Amakusa Shirou?

As always, I am a mere mortal and can only do my best to capture the glory.

(This is more of a standalone episode than some others, but you may want to read my previous recaps to get the lowdown on a new recurring character, Dr. Chandra Singh.)

This book is a slow burn, especially compared to the others I’ve recapped. That is to say, there’s a lot of great character stuff, but there isn’t as high a concentration of “what the hell is happening” on a page-to-page basis. It absolutely gets weird, but the nature and extent of that weirdness isn’t as upfront from the start.

Reading this book was like sailing a boat through the fog, squinting at the faint outlines I glimpsed in the distance and wondering if they were just my imagination, until I crashed straight into the iceberg and started sinking. I hope you’ll stick with me.

And on that nautical note...

The prologue introduces us to Robinson Baker, a 26-year-old American ocean explorer. He’s fit and bronzed and has appeared in fashion magazines, but lest you think he’s just a pretty face, he’s made the Kessel run in less than 12 parsecs won the Vendée Globe, a solo non-stop yacht race around the world.

Now he’s sailing his yacht solo across the Pacific for a magazine piece on “Pursuing the Legend of Prester John”. Robinson himself isn’t really religious, but reading the legend as a kid was what made him aspire to be an ocean explorer.

He’s currently heading towards Japan; he has no particular interest in Japan either, but the magazine editors made him write that “the kingdom of Prester John might possibly be Japan”, for clickbait reasons I guess. Mostly he’s looking forward to partying with his adoring fans at a swanky hotel.

This is interrupted by a typhoon warning. Robinson is pretty confident it won’t be any trouble, but as the typhoon approaches without weakening and the boat starts rattling ominously, it occurs to him that maybe he’s miscalculated. He considers calling for help, but then decides against it because he’s too attached to his reputation as a badass. He can handle this! He’s hardcore! Time to shut himself in the cabin and struggle with his growing dread!

The storm, unimpressed by his level of hardcore, overturns his boat. He’s still at least 15 km from land. Before the water pressure can trap him inside the cabin of the sinking yacht, Robinson makes his best decision so far and, wearing a life-jacket, he throws himself into the sea - “the sea he loved more than anything, which was now betraying him”. I’d accuse him of being melodramatic, but honestly it seems justified.

Something hits him on the back of the head and knocks him out, which at least saves him from making any more bad decisions.

When he wakes up and finds himself still adrift, he prays to God for the first time in his life, and in that instant he sees a pale light that doesn’t look like a lighthouse or buoy. He paddles towards it with his remaining strength, and as his consciousness ebbs, he sees: a miracle! The glowing figure of Jesus Christ is floating above the surface of the pitch-black ocean, wearing a crown of thorns and holding a shepherd’s staff!

Robinson swims towards it, having a religious epiphany the whole time, and finally makes it to shore. He thanks God, and the figure of Christ vanishes into the darkness, leaving Robinson alone on a deserted beach. He’s too exhausted to budge any further. Guess he’ll freeze to death here! But then:

A beautiful angel came walking along the beach, long black hair fluttering.

With a tender smile, the angel gently touched Robinson’s body.

Robinson is engulfed in a sense of warmth and relief, and passes out.

We will be returning to Robinson, which is why I’ve recapped the prologue so extensively.

But for now, we head to the Vatican, which recently decided that IT dungeons weren’t enough and added some CODEBREAKING dungeons. Previously, members of different religious orders weren’t able to collaborate or discuss their work across party lines. But Saul has been working on implementing reforms, like establishing the new “Forbidden Documents Research Division” (mentioned in Norway book), which brings together scholars from various factions and ranks to decipher old Vatican texts that have been sealed away in the archives for ages.

Roberto, naturally, is part of this elite new codebreaking division. But Vatican transparency only goes so far - the names of the members aren’t publicised, and they aren’t actually allowed to interact with each other. They’re locked in separate rooms and have to get the guard to let them out when they want to leave. Roberto isn’t really bothered by this because hey, old books!

He was deeply proud to have been selected as a member, and it put him in high spirits. But at the same time, he suspected that Archbishop Saul had created this department with some sort of deep plan in mind.

Oh well, no point worrying about Vatican politics when there’s NERDING OUT to be done. Roberto is deciphering a classified document about a ceremony at Santa Maria de Montserrat Abbey on Easter 1633. Somehow Roberto makes the mental leap to the fact that Galileo’s trial for heresy took place in 1633, and this gets him thinking about how the church suppressed all this cutting-edge knowledge.

In this way, the knowledge that was “hunted down” had grown into vast archives of classified material. These had been hoarded in the Vatican - which had led the Roman Inquisition - and the headquarters of the various Catholic orders.

Hadn’t this been fuelled by an extraordinary possessiveness and desire to monopolise knowledge? No, that was too mild a way of putting it. It must have been something like a frenzy - a maddening passion.

Roberto was aware that he himself possessed such passion, and so he could understand these people.

Through trial and error, he hits upon using the Lullian Circle to decode the document - he constructs his own Lullian Circle, and when he encounters some cryptic string of characters, he treats it as a substitution cipher. By lining up the three concentric circles of the Lullian Circle and considering the associations between the words, he can unpack a range of complex meaning from just nine characters, and he manages to decode the whole document this way. Basically he is being very smart and I’m not doing justice to it.

The document turns out to be about a ritual performed by “the ones illuminated by light”. Roberto is alarmed, because he realises that this is VME and of course “Those who referred to themselves as such were none other than the Illuminati.” The Illuminati predates the Catholic orders; it formed among the Roman ruling classes, influenced by Egyptian mythology, and so it turns out that there was worship of Isis and Horus going on right there in the abbey.

It occurs to Roberto that the Jesuits use the emblem “IHS”, which allegedly stands for “Iesus Hominum Salvator” - but it also happens to be the initials of the three Egyptian deities Isis, Horus, and Set.

Was this merely a coincidence?

Sure, it could be, but why go with the tiny-brain explanation? It could also be a sign of the DARK INFLUENCE OF THE ILLUMINATI in the Catholic Church.

If the forbidden documents continued to be deciphered, this was bound to come to light eventually - and then the extent of their influence over the Catholic world would inevitably become clear.

What on earth is Archbishop Saul planning?

He’s probably laying the groundwork to flush out the dark powers that have spread throughout the Vatican…

But that’s far too dangerous…

Roberto decides to shelve this thought for now and just do his job. He writes his report, has lunch delivered to the room, and takes a break to have judgemental thoughts about how the latte is cold and the panini are tough and it’s all very unpalatable.

Hey, maybe it’s time for the actual plot to start! Roberto leaves the codebreaking dungeon at 8 pm, and sees that he’s gotten an email from Hiraga: “There’s something I’d like to discuss with you.” Roberto figures that Hiraga is probably still in the lab (guys, please, it’s 8 pm, stop making everyone look bad), and calls him.

“Yes, this is Hiraga- ah!”

From the other end of the line came the sound of something heavy falling over.

“You... what’s wrong?”

“No, nothing at all, please don’t mind it. More importantly, Father Roberto, did you see my email?”

“I did. You said there’s something you want to discuss?”

“Yes. I’m sorry to bother you when you’re so busy, but…”

Hiraga launches straight into rambling about the discovery of a cross in the sea near Goa. He’s “rattling on at the velocity of a runaway train” when Roberto clears his throat and cuts in. “It’s getting late, so if you like, how about we have dinner at my place and you can tell me about it slowly?” Hiraga thinks this is a “wonderful proposal”, hangs up, and soon shows up in person, out of breath.

Roberto cooks a delicious meal of lamb chops, grilled vegetables, risotto, and some smoked salmon appetisers, while listening to his favourite bossa nova music, because this man doesn’t know how to chill. But I guess when you have an appreciative audience...

“It smells excellent. Thank you for always cooking such splendid meals, Father Roberto. I find it incredible that you can make such elaborate dishes in your own kitchen,” Hiraga said admiringly.

“No, they’re not really that elaborate.”

“Is that so? They seem very complicated to me…”

Hiraga began to scrutinise the table closely, as though examining the subject of an investigation. Seeing this, Roberto hastily spoke.

“Let’s eat before it gets cold.”

“Yes,” Hiraga said, and went on with a bright smile.

"Father Roberto, I'm sorry for always imposing on you like this. My house is currently undergoing renovations. I will invite you over once they are completed."

What?! Roberto thought, reflexively doubting his ears.

Hiraga was utterly unconcerned with matters of everyday life, and dwelt placidly in a house that had transformed into a mountain of trash. The news that he was undertaking renovations was truly astonishing.

Knowing him, he was probably planning on constructing a laboratory in his house.

"Is that so? I look forward to it," Roberto replied with a vague smile.

Hiraga eats a bit of his food, and then starts going on about the mysterious cross again. It washed up in some fishermen’s nets, and when appraised, it turned out to be hollow, containing a cache of Catholic ritual stuff. This includes a “holy belt”, which is embroidered with the crest of the person who had it made, but Hiraga can’t identify it, so he wanted to consult Roberto.

Hiraga takes out his laptop to show Roberto a picture of the crest, and “Roberto took that moment to sneak a lamb chop onto Hiraga’s dish.”

Then he takes a look at the picture and oh, very simple, it’s Gregorius XIII. Of course. This turns into talking about Malachy’s Prophecy of the Popes, and this quality exposition really gets Hiraga going.

Hiraga leant forward across the table; Roberto looked pointedly at the food and said, “Do eat for now.”

Hiraga absentmindedly took a mouthful of risotto, and bit into the lamb chop.

Roberto mentions how the prophecies have been used as propaganda by power-hungry church officials who wanted to get elected pope.

Hiraga wore an expression of disbelief.

To a pure person like him, it was practically undreamt of that people would maliciously manipulate the hearts of others - let alone in the Vatican, the nation of God.

[...]

“Is that so… One could say that Catholicism is currently facing an upheaval, but at least there aren’t any new phony prophecies circulating. I’m glad.”

Hiraga beamed and took a drink of his wine.

Roberto, who had lately been reading nothing but forbidden books about savagery, felt himself awash in gratitude at having a partner as pure as Hiraga.

The reason why Hiraga did not notice the malice of others was because he himself harboured no malice.

When talking to this friend, Roberto felt as though he was cleansed of the dirt of the world.

Roberto’s face softened, and he continued eating.

From tomorrow onwards, I’ll try to take things easier. I’ll go out for lunch at least, and if the timing works out, I’ll invite Hiraga to dinner. Even as an apostle of God, I should be entitled to enjoy life.

As he was thinking this, Hiraga spoke up.

“Roberto, how are things going at the Forbidden Documents Research Division?”

“Mm, so-so. The work itself isn’t too different from what I usually do. It’s just that every day I have a feeling of tension, like it’s hard to breathe.”

“That sounds difficult. If there is anything I can do to help, please say the word.”

“Sure, I will.” Roberto nodded.

“This just occurred to me, but from now on, won’t you be busy whenever I’m sent on miracle examinations? Will I end up being partnered with someone else?”

“I wonder. It’s up to Archbishop Saul to say, but after all, my ultimate duty is as a miracle examiner. If I’m sent on an official mission, I’ll gladly comply.”

“I see. So that’s how it is.”

Neither of them expected that an opportunity to resolve their doubts would arrive so soon.

Haha, okay, NOW it’s actually time for the plot! Two days later, Saul summons them and gives them the mission: they’re going to Japan to investigate the miracle of a midsummer blizzard in Amakusa, and a giant cross that appeared in the sky and then vanished. Oh, and there’s also a young American who’s been yelling about how a glowing image of Christ and an angel appeared and saved his life, a few days before that.

Hiraga is very into this miracle and wants to go check it out as soon as possible, but Saul points out that there are… complications. The Vatican received an investigation request from a church in Amakusa, which is run by Jesuits; if it’s verified, they want to build a church near the site of the miracle. But our excitable American friend has been in touch with the Franciscan church in his California hometown, and they also submitted a petition to the Vatican; if it’s legit, they want to embark upon missionary work in Amakusa. So there have been some dick-measuring contests negotiations between the Franciscans (to which Roberto and Hiraga belong) and the Jesuits.

The higher-ups discussed it, and decided that Roberto and Hiraga were the most qualified to deal with this level of Weird Shit. Well, the real clincher is that it happened in Japan, so Hiraga seems like the obvious choice. But our heroes will be hosted by the local Jesuit priests, and this level of cooperation between different orders is kind of an anomaly.

“So we’ll be heading to Japan tomorrow, huh? I’m looking forward to this much more than the usual miracle examinations,” Roberto said cheerfully, as they set off down the corridor.

“Why is that?” Hiraga asked, puzzled.

“You’re of Japanese descent, aren’t you? You could say it’s the country where you have your roots. I’m interested in it.”

Hiraga let out a long sigh.

“About that - I’m very uneasy.”

“Why?”

“I myself am unsure whether I’m that familiar with Japan. Even though it’s my grandfather’s birthplace, I only ever visited the country when I was a child…” Hiraga muttered. “Just now, Archbishop Saul said, ‘The location being Japan was the deciding factor; it was settled that Father Hiraga was the most qualified’ - when I heard that, I thought my heart would stop.”

Hiraga had straight black hair and black almond-shaped eyes. His skin was fair, but unlike a Westerner’s complexion, it was the tint of ivory. His slender, petite frame was another of the many obvious features of his Japanese heritage. Even at the Seat of the Disciple, many people knew him as “the Japanese priest”.

But in fact, Hiraga did not know Japan especially well. It was merely that his parents were both of Japanese descent, and so they had also spoken Japanese in the household.

“By the way, Roberto, do you know Japanese?”

At Hiraga’s question, Roberto grimaced.

“Japanese is difficult - I haven’t been able to tackle it. European languages share the same roots, so I can learn them without too much trouble, but Japanese is one of the world’s most difficult languages. I won’t be able to step up as interpreter this time.”

“Then, I’ll have to translate Japanese, won’t I…”

“I’ll be in your care.”

“Yes… I’m not really confident about that, but I will at least spend tonight studying hard,” Hiraga said with a small shrug.

As it turns out, they’re welcomed by local priests who speak Latin, so Hiraga is spared for now. Roberto wastes no time getting judgemental when one of the local priests, Kitami, has the audacity to smile at him.

His smile was merely an upward curve of his thin lips; those eyes did not smile.

A cunning man, Roberto thought.

Hiraga, meanwhile, is listening to another local priest (Nishimaru) talk about how the four junior priests at the church all went to seminary together and have been friends since.

They drive to the local church; Roberto, whose knowledge of Japan is mostly limited to the urban landscapes of Tokyo and Kyoto, thinks that this peaceful rural scenery reminds him of some corner of Southeast Asia.

Hiraga got out of the car with a spring in his step, and murmured delightedly, “It looks like my grandfather’s hometown.”

They’re introduced to Father Gerard, the guy in charge, and the other two young priests, Nanjou and Andou. (At this point, I start rooting for some of them to die soon so I don’t have to keep track of all these names. I can reassure you that most of their names aren’t actually important, but they each contain one of the cardinal directions - Nishimaru is west, Kitami is north, Nanjou and Andou are South and East - which I thought was a pretty hilarious bit of theme naming.)

The youngsters make sure to introduce themselves as being “from the Society of Jesus”, which rubs Roberto the wrong way. Uh, waiter, how did this political intrigue get in his nerdery

“Thank you for your warm welcome. Although we belong to the Franciscan order, we are priests serving the same God as you. The current Pope himself is from the Society of Jesus, but I understand that he dispatched us Franciscans here in hopes of a more impartial investigation. We will investigate this incident with wholehearted commitment, in order to be worthy of the trust His Holiness has placed in us.”

Father Gerard smirked cynically.

“To be frank, it came as a surprise that they were sending Franciscan miracle examiners. But I, too, have received direct instructions from the Jesuit higher-ups to cooperate with you. Since that is how the matter was settled, I intend to abide by my superiors’ decision.”

“You have our heartfelt gratitude for your cooperation,” Roberto replied without missing a beat.

“By the way, when can we go to the site of the miracle?” Hiraga interjected from the side.

They’ll have to wait till tomorrow for the boat, but in the meantime, they can settle in and talk to Robinson, who is staying in the same lodgings as them. It’s an inn on the outskirts of the village, run by a guy named Yoshioka, who’s very honoured to be hosting actual priests from the Vatican.

Yoshioka tells them about how Kamishima - the small uninhabited island where the miracle actually took place, off the coast of Amakusa - has always been rumoured to be cursed. Residents include: a frightening deity named Mahiru, spirits such as ghost lights and oil pressers, and poisonous snakes. Fun times.

Our heroes meet Robinson, who is wearing a yukata and sitting seiza-style, and greets them in Japanese. Hiraga, too, sits down seiza-style and bows his head. Robinson seems deeply stirred by this image, and goes, “Oooh… What a charming priest.” (Roberto, at a loss, imitates Hiraga’s posture, but his legs immediately start to hurt.)

Robinson tearfully recounts the story of his near-death experience - how he was saved by the glowing figure of Christ and then a beautiful angel with long fluttering hair, and survived to be picked up by a passing fishing boat.

“By the way, Mr. Robinson, even though the island is uninhabited, that does not necessarily refute the existence of the angel.”

“So you believe me, Father Hiraga?”

“Yes. I have no reason not to believe,” Hiraga replied with a smile.

“I see… Everyone I talked to said it was all just in my head, and I was starting to be convinced myself. But with you believing me, I feel like I’ve been saved. Thank you, Father Hiraga,” Robinson said joyfully.

Robinson, dude, he’s married, slow your roll

Then our heroes go to their room, where we’re treated to more culture shock with Roberto Nicolas. He’s startled that there’s no furniture - no bed, no desk, no sofa. Meanwhile, Hiraga’s only qualm is that they need to set up wifi, so he can be a nerd at all hours.

Hiraga cheerfully explains what a kotatsu is - you can write on it, you can lie down when you’re tired, and it heats the room in winter.

“I see…”

When Hiraga was at home, he would occasionally sit on the floor rather than using the sofa, and would roll about on the floor. Roberto now understood that this was due to Japan’s culture of using the kotatsu.

Then Hiraga explains what tatami is to Roberto, who needs a pile of cushions to settle down and remarks, “I have trouble with the way you’re sitting. Is it considered rude in Japan to sit with your legs crossed Arabian-style?” Hiraga reassures him that it’s perfectly fine.

Hiraga is apparently in full travel-show-host mode, because he decides to make tea.

Hiraga: There’s a tea chest here. I’ll brew some tea.

Roberto: You will? That’s rare.

Hiraga: I do know the general method for brewing tea. You steam it a little, like this. But you may find Japanese tea bitter.

Roberto: Excuse me, I do know a thing or two about Japanese tea. Asian teas which are rich in catechin and vitamins have been getting a lot of attention in Rome lately. There are even baristas who specialise in Japanese tea. The different varieties of Japanese tea are bancha, sencha, houjicha, genmaicha, kukicha, gyokuro, matcha… and so on. So, what kind of tea are you brewing right now?

Hiraga, softly: I don’t know. I’ve never thought about the different kinds of tea. I figured that if it was light green, it was green tea, and if it was light brown, it was regular tea.

Then they go to dinner, where they meet Yuuko, their host’s daughter who also works at the inn. She’s young and beautiful and demure, and blushes when her father talks about how sweet she is and proud he is of her.

“That girl truly feels like a model of Japanese womanhood,” Roberto murmured admiringly.

“How so, exactly?” Hiraga inquired, puzzled.

“She’s quiet and gentle, and seems shy and obedient.”

“Is that so? There are many Westerners who hold this image of Japanese women, but all the Japanese women I know are surprisingly strong-willed.”

“Oh? I really can’t see it.”

Roberto shrugged.

Roberto, man, don’t be one of THOSE guys.

At this point, Yoshioka serves them a dish piled high with sashimi, which awes and intimidates them. Hiraga objects that they’re priests and really don’t need such lavish food, and also, he’s worried about whether Roberto can handle eating sashimi. But it turns out to be fresh and tasty, and they eat half of it before Hiraga starts feeling the strain.

And then Yoshioka brings out the rest of the meal, which is a massive donburi full of rice and fish sauce.

Hiraga broke out in a cold sweat.

“...Roberto, I’m sorry, but my stomach has reached its limit.”

Hiraga set his chopsticks down on the table.

“Honestly, me too. But the fish sauce is pretty tasty. How about you try a bite? The flavour is different, so maybe it’ll put you in a new mood and you can enjoy the food.”

Roberto reached for the fish sauce, looking a little relieved.

“You’re talking strangely. My mood has no effect on my stomach capacity,” Hiraga muttered, suppressing a hiccup.

The two of them agree that this is just Too Much for them, and Hiraga should go request that Yoshioka halve their portions from now on. I almost feel like I don’t need the casefic plot, I would be fine with the Roberto and Hiraga Travelogue forever.

But the casefic plot wants to remind us that it exists, because suddenly, while Hiraga is talking to Yoshioka, Roberto sees a mysterious figure standing stock-still outside the window. It’s a young Japanese girl with pale skin and black hair, dressed in white, and she’s staring expressionlessly at him.

A chill runs down Roberto’s spine, but presumably because he hasn’t seen The Ring, he doesn’t freak out and nope the hell out of there. He glances around, but no one else seems to have noticed the girl’s presence, and when he looks back, she’s gone.

Hiraga returns and asks what’s wrong, and Roberto deflects, because of course he does.

Meanwhile, our American friend Robinson is bored. He’d rather be partying in California, not out here in the sticks where there’s one karaoke bar and it closes at 10 pm. He can’t even chat up his adoring friends in California, because of time differences. Robinson has gotten very fond of Japan, but this is a real issue.

Robinson decides to engage in the classic American pastime of getting drunk and setting off fireworks without permission, and that’s exactly what he does. He tries to drive back to the inn after this, but gets lost in a creepy forest.

This reminds Robinson that he watched an anime movie a few days ago, about spirits living in the Japanese forest. So naturally he should go check out the forest right now! Our intrepid explorer finds a bunch of old houses surrounded by graves, and then his flashlight goes out. He’s trying not to freak out, but then he hears a slithering noise like a giant snake, and an unearthly flickering ball of flame appears before him. The flame is held in a disembodied dark green hand, like a zombie’s.

Robinson loses it and bolts for the car, and heads straight to our heroes to yell about this.

It’s 4 am, and Roberto was planning to sleep in a bit more, but Robinson is clearly panicking; he clings to Hiraga’s arm and pleads, “H-help me!” He raves about having seen a phantom and been possessed by it, and Roberto blesses him with holy water until he settles down enough to describe what he saw. Robinson adds that he used to visit haunted places with his friends just for fun, but he never saw anything, and they called him “Robinson the Fearless” - but apparently now he can see God AND he’s plagued by demons too? He doesn’t want this, guys.

Hiraga says, “No, I believe that you may have encountered a legendary lifeform.” Roberto has no idea what he’s talking about. Hiraga explains that after Yoshioka mentioned the oil presser spirits earlier, he did some research online. They’re youkai that manifest as hands holding oil or fire, and there’s no record of them causing harm to humans, they just give them a fright. Robinson doesn’t really get it, but he goes along with the explanation.

Hiraga nodded in satisfaction, and looked over at Roberto.

“So even Father Roberto, with his extensive trove of knowledge about folklore, isn't familiar with Japanese youkai?”

Roberto stared back at Hiraga, astonished.

“No, well, youkai are basically creatures like Yeti and Mothman, aren’t they? So because I don’t know about Japanese youkai, you’ve been staying up late to research this?”

“Yes, that’s right. I borrowed some compilations of local folklore from Mr. Yoshioka, and I’ve been reading them,” Hiraga said, indicating several books next to his pillow.

“......”

“It’s not out of mere curiosity. Ghost lights and oil pressers - they’re both spirits related to combustion phenomena. And so I thought that they might have something to do with the glowing image of Christ, and the mysterious shining cross. Usually you would be the one to tell me about this kind of information, but I can’t ask you to read Japanese materials.”

“I see, so that’s it. You suddenly started talking about something so unlike you - that was quite a shock.”

Roberto patted his chest in relief.

Robinson is excited that Hiraga believes in spirits; Hiraga reasons that there’s no concrete evidence refuting their existence either, so he can’t deny it. Robinson, who has apparently recovered from his terror, starts enthusing about how wonderfully exotic youkai are. He thought there was no real point being an explorer in the 21st century, since there are no more undiscovered frontiers, no more romanticism and the thrill of the unknown - but look at these delightful mysteries! God must have shown him this phantom to send him an important message!

As Robinson was getting carried away by his impulsive fancies, Roberto let out a brief sigh.

“Mr. Robinson, just what do you think God is telling you by showing you that phantom?”

“He’s given me a mission, of course! To stay in Japan and explore its unknown parts, and introduce all these marvellous youkai,” Robinson answered cheerfully.

“...ah, I see. You’re a modern Lafcadio Hearn, then.”

Roberto’s words were laden with sarcasm.

Unfortunately, Roberto’s sick burn is wasted on Robinson, who has never heard of Lafcadio Hearn. (Neither had I, to be fair.) Roberto explains that he was a journalist who researched Japanese folklore and catalogued ghost stories, like the story of Houichi the Earless.

At this moment, Hiraga blinked uneasily, and he muttered softly, “Roberto, could you stop talking about Houichi the Earless?”

“Why?” Roberto asked.

“Well, Father Hiraga saying that just makes me even more curious about this earless so-and-so. I definitely want to know, Father Roberto,” Robinson said, his eyes shining.

Hiraga would occasionally get scared by things that were basically trivial. Roberto decided to tease him a little.

“Then, at Mr. Robinson’s request, I’ll tell the story.”

I can’t tell the story better than Roberto or Wikipedia. The really important thing is Roberto being a shit.

Roberto paused dramatically. In that moment of suspense, there came the clatter of Hiraga’s teacup falling over. Roberto pretended not to notice this, and went on.

[...]

Roberto finished speaking, and glanced at Hiraga, who wore an expression of childlike fear.

“Oh my, what’s wrong?” Roberto asked, as though only just noticing Hiraga’s odd behaviour for the first time.

“It’s scary. I heard that story long ago from my grandmother, who was a skilled storyteller, and ever since then, it’s been a terrifying trauma. My grandmother was good at scaring me… Please, don’t ever tell that story again.”

“I won’t. I’m sorry,” Roberto said. Hiraga sighed in relief.

Next, Roberto looked over to see Robinson’s reaction. His cheeks were flushed, and he was breathing heavily.

“Fascinating… How fascinating, and frightening, and fantastic! My heart was really racing. Father Roberto, you’re good at telling stories.”

“I’m glad. Lafcadio Hearn was the one who wrote down that story. How about you look him up on the Internet and read some of his other works?”

“I’ll do that right away, thank you! I’ll definitely become like Lafcadio Hearn.”

“That’s a lovely dream,” Roberto said with a smile.

Sadly, instead of staying with passive-aggressive Roberto, we go to our heroes at breakfast. They’re being served the leftover sashimi from last night, now pickled. Roberto tries to eat a piece, but just the smell makes his gorge rise.

“Sorry, but… I can’t do it.”

“Please leave it to me. I have the willpower of a Japanese priest.”

Hiraga took a bite of the sashimi, his face grim.

Then they remember that oh right, there’s a conflict in this book beyond FOOD PROBLEMS. So they’re going to take a look at the island of Kamishima, and talk to the people who witnessed the snowstorm and the appearance of the cross.

But first Hiraga goes back to the room to call Dr. Chandra Singh, their new IT guy. As ever, he is a ray of sunshine.

Hiraga: Good morning.

Dr. Singh, expressionlessly: It is 1 am here.

Hiraga: Ah, good evening. Well, when will my investigation materials be arriving?

Dr. Singh: It's scheduled for today. Do you want to know further details?

Hiraga: Yes.

Dr. Singh: I've emailed you the tracking number, and the contact information for the national support centre.

Hiraga: Thank you.

Dr. Singh: Is there anything else?

Hiraga: Nothing.

Dr. Singh: Then excuse me. [hangs up]

Roberto: Dr. Singh is as unfriendly as ever, I see.

Hiraga: Really? The doctor is a kind person.

(I love him so much.)

Hiraga makes delivery arrangements, and then checks on the boat they’re supposed to take to Kamishima.

“You handling things this way - it’s kind of refreshing,” Roberto said without thinking.

“I can get things done if I try. After all, I’ve always been a fiend for schedules.”

They have a 20-minute boat ride to Kamishima, accompanied by local priest Father East Andou. The boatman won’t go ashore with them because of local superstition, and Andou says he’ll wait in the boat too, so our heroes are on their own.

Hiraga frolics around collecting soil samples and taking photos. He and Roberto discuss what the glowing image of Christ might have been, if not a miracle - maybe it was a projection on the cliff face, or a 3D hologram, or small LEDs made with a 3D printer, but for various reasons none of these is very plausible. I mean, I agree, but who wants to bet the eventual explanation is about as implausible?

They climb to the top of the cliff, up a very narrow and steep path surrounded by dense foliage.

“This is a rather difficult climb,” Hiraga said, short of breath.

“That rucksack is getting in your way, isn’t it? I’ll carry it.”

“No, this is light. I’m fine.”

“Tell me if you’re having trouble.”

Roberto notices someone standing in the shadow of a tree, but when Hiraga calls out, the figure silently vanishes. They figure it was their imagination, but then they find multiple sets of fresh human footprints.

They get back to the boat and go to another local church to interview witnesses to the miracle. This being VME, it turns into exposition about the history of Christianity in Japan, and how it was outlawed in the 1600s and Japanese Christians were severely persecuted and driven into hiding. The head priest of this church explains that Christianity has come so close to being snuffed out in Japan, and it’s up to them to keep it going - basically, it would be REALLY NICE for this miracle to get verified, so the priests can once again spread the glory of God throughout the country.

“You’re Japanese too, so you understand, don’t you? Our fervent wish…”

Father Takeo clasped Hiraga’s hand tightly as he spoke.

“Yes, this is the purpose of the miracle examination. For the glory of God’s name, I promise to carry out a rigorous investigation, and make sure of this miracle’s authenticity,” Hiraga replied, his gaze utterly earnest.

Father Takeo’s expression froze, startled, and his shoulders sagged.

“...rigorous… yes, of course. I couldn’t help getting worked up in the face of this mystery.”

Even without knowing Japanese, Roberto could understand what they were discussing, judging from Hiraga’s usual attitude and the other priest’s obviously crestfallen demeanour.

But without the language to convey his support to the Japanese priest, all Roberto could do was sincerely bow his head to him.

They’re done investigating for the day, but Roberto notices a museum and naturally wants to pay a visit. Hiraga isn’t especially interested, but doesn’t mind going with Roberto - or so he thinks, until he sees Roberto checking out the museum displays and realises what this means.

“Roberto - I’m sorry, but I’ll wait in the lobby.”

“Huh? Why?”

“How should I put it… The instant I saw all those lines of Japanese characters on the display cases, my eyes started spinning and stopped processing information. I’ve seen all sorts of things today, and my head is full. I think I’ll be better after a bit of rest.”

Hiraga tottered unsteadily into the lobby and flopped down on the sofa. It seemed that his hard disk had overheated.

“That’s a problem… Without you, I have no idea what’s written here.”

(Ah, heritage speaker problems...)

Father Andou (whom I keep forgetting is even there) offers to translate for Roberto, and they hit it off pretty well because they’re both nerds about Christian culture and stuff. Andou gives some exposition about the Hidden Christians, who continued practising their faith in secret even after it was outlawed by the Japanese government, risking jail, torture, exile, and martyrdom.

This is Roberto’s cue to angst about his faith, which I guess is what happens as soon as he’s separated from Hiraga for five minutes.

Roberto himself had decided to become a priest merely as a pragmatic way of making a living. As such, this made him reflect deeply on the strength of faith.

Oh, and it looks like his angst is probably infectious.

“Could you please listen to me for a bit?”

“Yes,” Roberto replied, bewildered.

Father Andou took a deep breath.

“Father Roberto, I have something to confess. I… I was envious of you. Ever since I decided to become a priest, I’ve hoped that someday I’ll achieve something splendid, and be recognised and summoned by the Vatican. It’s my lifelong dream, and I’ve been working extra hard towards that goal. And yet you all so easily achieved my dream. It frustrated me…

“I heard that the Vatican’s miracle examiners were an elite division chosen from all over the world, and I was convinced that they had to be unpleasant fellows, smug and full of themselves. When you said, ‘We will investigate this incident with wholehearted commitment, in order to be worthy of the trust His Holiness has placed in us,’ I honestly couldn’t believe it.

“But today, when I saw you both climbing the mountain and getting your cassocks covered in dirt, and when you were bowing deeply to Father Takeo, I felt ashamed of myself. Father Roberto, please forgive my rudeness so far.”

Father Andou slowly lowered his head to Roberto, who was taken aback.

“Rudeness? Nothing of the sort. It’s because of you that I was able to learn all sorts of things today. I’m grateful. Thank you.”

Roberto, too, bowed to Father Andou, who laughed wryly.

“You’re unusual. I didn’t think that Westerners bowed like this.”

“Ah, that’s… My investigation partner is Hiraga, who’s of Japanese descent, so I guess I picked up a thing or two.”

“I see. Father Hiraga is also rather… unusual, isn’t he?”

“Yes, he gets that a lot. But he is a highly outstanding man of ardent faith.”

When our heroes get back to the inn, Hiraga’s equipment has arrived, but Roberto knows that once he lets Hiraga get started, good luck getting him to eat dinner. So he asks Hiraga about the witness interviews at the church just now; Hiraga apologises for forgetting to translate earlier. Basically, there are no recordings of the miracle. Hiraga does some infodumping about weather anomalies and solar flares; he posits that the miracle might be caused by St. Elmo's fire, but he’ll have to check the soil samples for traces of our old friend ELECTROMAGNETISM.

Then Roberto seizes the opportunity to suggest they get dinner, which had totally slipped Hiraga’s mind. On their way to dinner, they see Yoshioka telling off his daughter Yuuko, because she got back late from walking the dog.

And again, the true conflict of the book rears its head: Roberto and Hiraga versus their hosts’ food.

The dinner that was served to them was, indeed, a huge helping of sashimi. It seemed that Hiraga’s appeal to reduce their meal portions hadn’t gotten through to Yoshioka.

“Well, we’ve been out and about today. Shall we tuck in?”

“Yes…”

The two of them said grace and began to eat, but Hiraga’s chopsticks soon fell still.

“What’s wrong?”

“Just looking at raw fish makes me a bit queasy.”

“But whatever we have left over will just be pickled and added to our breakfast. That’s the system.”

“I know that, but…” Hiraga muttered, his face pale.

“You pushed yourself too much at breakfast. Luckily I’m feeling peckish - I think I can handle this.”

Hiraga sighed in relief at Roberto’s words.

[...]

“Actually, I realised I had to come up with a strategy for handling meals, starting tomorrow,” Roberto said, setting down his chopsticks and gazing steadily at Hiraga.

“What sort of strategy?”

“You’ll be absorbed in the investigation and lose track of time, won’t you? There’s no way you’ll manage to go to the dining hall at fixed times.”

“Ah, I see. Yes, you could say that.”

Hiraga nodded, as though discussing someone else entirely.

“So you’ll persuade Mr. Yoshioka to bring the meals to the room from tomorrow onwards. The menu can be very simple - tell him that just rice and one dish will do. If that’s not possible, I’ll buy food from somewhere. I’d like to get Mr. Yoshioka’s permission for that.”

“Can I really manage this?”

“But you’re the one who speaks Japanese, aren’t you?”

“That’s true…”

Hiraga nodded determinedly, and went off to negotiate with Yoshioka.

And he shoots, he scores! Hiraga is really achieving some A++ adulting in this book.

“Roberto, the discussion went well.”

“I’m glad. Deep down, I was worried.”

“Miss Yuuko lent me her support midway - she chimed in with, ‘Father, your stubbornness is causing trouble for the priests. Let’s do as they say.’ It was a real help.”

Hiraga picked up his chopsticks with an expression of relief, and bit into a slice of sashimi.

Roberto turned towards the direction of the open kitchen. Yuuko smiled bashfully and nodded to him.

“Miss Yuuko is a nice girl,” Roberto said appreciatively.

Well. Still, good work there, Hiraga!

They decide that tomorrow, Hiraga will... do his thing... and Roberto will go do some research - maybe there are some miracle witnesses whom they haven’t interviewed. Hiraga is worried about whether Roberto can get around without him, but Roberto says, “I think it’ll be fine. I’ve made a friend who’s an excellent interpreter.”

Roberto goes off with his new priest friend Andou, who takes him to another museum; it has a massive golden cross that’s engraved with the usual Christian iconography and also a mysterious Japanese inscription: a cryptic string of syllables. Andou has no idea what it means either - “It’s a code that no one can solve.” Naturally, Roberto perks up at the mention of codes, and requests more exposition.

Basically this is a replica of a cross that used to belong to the Hidden Christians, and there’s a theory that the inscription encodes the location of the Hidden Christians’ secret treasure. Roberto and Andou speculate for a bit about how the Japanese syllables might actually represent some slightly mangled Latin words.

As Roberto spoke passionately, Father Andou gave him an odd look.

“I didn’t expect someone like you, an elite Vatican priest, to get so serious about a long-forgotten code.”

“Ah, excuse me. It’s just my nature. I’m a miracle examiner, but I specialise in codes and the restoration of antiques, so… If it’s alright, might I be able to take a look at the original iron cross itself?”

Father Andou’s expression abruptly went rigid with discomfort.

There was no hope of this happening. Even if this code concealed the “treasure of the Hidden Christians”, it was a treasure that had been bestowed to the Society of Jesus - it belonged to the Jesuits. They had no obligation to disclose their secrets to Roberto, who was a Franciscan.

“Oops, I guess I’ve overstepped. I’m just sincerely interested in codebreaking, but I shouldn’t have meddled. Sorry I bothered you - don’t mind me,” Roberto said breezily. Father Andou looked relieved.

Damn these Vatican politics, getting in the way of our heroes geeking out.

But hey, at least we’ll always have infodumps? They go into the museum, where Roberto learns about Amakusa Shirou, “probably the most famous Christian in Japan”, who led a Catholic rebellion against the Japanese government when he was only 16, but was never recognised by the Vatican because he wasn’t formally baptised. He was a beautiful, charismatic prodigy who was said to have a healing touch. After his rebellion was crushed, he basically vanished from history; a body was found and beheaded, but it’s unclear whether it was actually his. Academics debate whether he actually existed.

Roberto wonders if the Hidden Christian community still exists; apparently no one knows for sure, but the scholarly consensus is that they were stamped out.

Also, Roberto sees some chipped, badly worn clay dolls, and after looking at them for 10 seconds, he comments, “They were so uncanny I’ll probably dream about them tonight.” And he teases Hiraga for being scared of ghost stories...

(This place is a real museum, by the way, which is pretty cool.)

Next they go look for more people who might have witnessed the miracle. Andou tells Roberto about a very secretive and close-knit village in the mountains, led by a family surnamed Futou. It has a good view of Kamishima, but the villagers are “extremely odd” and seem to dislike priests - they turn away Andou & co. whenever they visit.

Roberto immediately wonders if they’re Hidden Christians, because come on, but there’s no definitive evidence for it. Roberto really wants to visit them anyway, so they drive to the village, but no one seems to be there.

So they drive around more and talk about local religion, and Andou mentions that deer are the sacred animal here. He also takes Roberto to another museum and shows him a bunch of antique printing presses. It occurs to me that this would be a very good date if Roberto weren’t already married.

Or maybe not, because while Roberto is sighing adoringly over printing presses, Andou slips off. Roberto finds him crying silently in front of a painting - it’s a reproduction of the “Coronation of Pope Sixtus V” fresco in the Vatican Library. Roberto pretends he didn’t see anything and beats a discreet retreat, and when Andou comes back they act like nothing happened. But yeah, awkward.

Hey, I wonder what Hiraga’s up to while all this is going on? Oh, no big deal, he’s just GOING TO SCALE A CLIFF BY HIMSELF

Hiraga stuffed a small pickaxe and other climbing equipment into his huge rucksack, and set off alone for the harbour, in search of the boat captain. He then requested to be taken to Kamishima.

In order to examine the cliff face, he had to climb it. That much was obvious.

But if he told Roberto, he’d be sure to object that it was dangerous. That was why Hiraga had kept quiet about this.

...I was wondering how we’d gotten this far without any dead bodies, but looks like Hiraga is trying to make up for that.

Hiraga cinched a safety harness around himself, and fastened a high-strength climbing rope to it. With this, he had no worries about falling to his death.

GREAT, GUESS I’LL WORRY FOR BOTH OF US

Gripping the pickaxe in one hand, and with six pouches tied around his waist, Hiraga began to slowly descend the steep cliff face.

The cliff rapidly turned into a sheer precipice, but the surface was slightly uneven, which offered some footholds.

Hiraga thanked God for his own small feet and light body.

okay Hiraga but what if you slip and break your STUPID NECK

He survives the descent, so naturally he does this two more times, on the other sides of the cliff. He confirms that there are no traces of snow or anything that might emit light on the cliff. I sure am glad Hiraga risked his life for a whole load of nothing! (Or, well, 10 kilogrammes of soil samples.) Then, apparently satisfied that he’s done enough death-defying for today, he prays, “O Lord who appeared on the face of this cliff, please show me the reason why.”

The poor boat captain, who had to sit there anxiously watching this whole display, hurries over and asks if he’s alright. Hiraga is covered in sweat and mud and his clothes are fraying, but he reassures the captain that he’s fine. The captain is curious what he’s going to do with the load of soil that he went to all this trouble to get.

“Well, I don’t know. Perhaps this was unnecessary - but it was important to me. After all, the truth can be found in unexpected places. Even a single grain of soil cannot be dismissed.”

I can’t really argue with this, but I want to.

When Roberto gets back to the inn, he sees Hiraga covered in dirt and staring at soil samples through a microscope.

Roberto: Hiraga, just what is all this?

Hiraga: I’m examining the soil from that cliff.

Roberto: Soil from the cliff - on Kamishima, you mean?

Hiraga: Yes.

Roberto: How did you… You did something dangerous again, didn’t you?

Hiraga: It's alright. I made sure to wear a safety harness, so I could gather samples without any danger.

Roberto: A safety harness, huh… Really, you're always startling me. I'm glad you're fine, but you sure brought back a lot. Well then, did you figure out anything from the soil?

Hiraga: I won’t know until the examination is complete. But I have to investigate, even if nothing comes of it - after all, that’s the site of the miracle.

Roberto: That’s true. You really are your usual self, no matter where you are. But I have one piece of advice: you should take a shower or bath, and change out of your dirty clothes. Mr. Yoshioka will be bringing the dinner soon, and he’ll be worried if he sees you all covered in mud. We couldn’t even complain if he decided to throw us out of the inn.

Hiraga, startled: Is it that late already? I see… I’ll go take a shower.

Roberto: You sure were in a trance. Is there something strange about the soil?

Hiraga: No, it’s just ordinary fragments of igneous rock.

Really, it was very typical of Hiraga to get so engrossed in examining ordinary soil that he lost track of time.

While Hiraga takes his shower, Roberto tidies up the room so as not to scandalise their poor host, and fetches a yukata for Hiraga to change into.

Hiraga comes out wearing the yukata, and then notices that his cellphone has apparently been going off this whole time, but he overlooked it because he was so busy with his soil samples.

“Ah, I have a lot of voicemails and emails from Mr. Robinson.”

“Mr. Robinson? What’s he saying?”

Hiraga, tilting his head, read the emails out loud.

"The first message is, 'I want to discuss something.' The next is, 'It's important.' Then the next one is, 'Do you have time?' The next is, 'Please contact me.' The next is, 'I'm waiting for your reply.' The next is, 'Why won't you contact me?' The next is, 'Whatever.' The next is, 'Please contact me after all.' The next is, 'When will you contact me?' The next is..."

Roberto sighed.

"What a persistent man. Did he mention what he wanted to discuss?"

Apparently Robinson took Roberto’s snide remark about Lafcadio Hearn very seriously, and is now running around looking into youkai and jabbering about oil presser spirits. Points for initiative, I guess.

“Anyway, when did you give Mr. Robinson your email address?”

“As soon as we met. He asked me to take out my cellphone, and it was done quickly - it took about three seconds. Weren’t you in the room too, Roberto?”

“I was, but I didn't notice. In a sense, that's an impressive feat. It's none of my business, but maybe you should watch out.”

“For what?”

“For what, you ask... well, this and that. Now, I'm going to shower,” Roberto said evasively, getting to his feet.

Even in Japan, Roberto can’t escape all these guys trying to cosy up to his husband. WOW

Honestly, I kind of admire the sheer audacity of asking a priest for his number, in three seconds, the first time you meet him, when his partner is RIGHT THERE (even if you don’t know they’re married). But seriously Robinson, don’t be a homewrecker.

Late that night, Hiraga is analysing his soil samples and Roberto is tossing and turning in bed, when there’s a knock on the door and a dark figure looms outside the glass pane, like the start of every horror movie. Roberto, understandably, has a bad feeling about this. Hiraga points out that they can’t do anything without knowing who’s outside, and calls out, “Who’s there?”

An icy voice responds, “It’s Futou. Open up,” and Roberto realises it must be one of the reclusive villagers he missed meeting today. Outside is someone dressed in black; it’s a teenage boy with long hair, pale skin, delicate features, and a surprisingly intimidating presence. Sounds very goth.

He’s accompanied by a stoic young girl in white - the same girl Roberto saw outside the dining hall the other night. This girl is called Sara, and she speaks Latin, which Hiraga appreciates because “I’m not confident in my Japanese.”

Futou ominously says, “Are you the ones trespassing on Kamishima? That island is in an extremely unstable state right now. Do not go near it again.”

This pretty much sets the tone of the conversation.

Hiraga: I was the one who went to Kamishima a second time - I was just collecting a bit of the island’s soil. I apologise if I shouldn’t have done that. But my duty is as a miracle examiner. If you tell me not to go to Kamishima, it puts me in a difficult position. Besides, the island doesn’t seem unstable to me. There are no historical records of any earthquakes or natural disasters occurring on Kamishima, and no data on landslides either.

Futou: So you see and understand nothing? I hoped it’d be a bit easier to communicate with a Vatican priest - what a pity. Kamishima’s instability isn’t an issue of geography. It’s a spiritual issue.

Hiraga: A spiritual issue…?

Futou: This shouldn’t be discussed with someone who doesn’t understand. But even if you don’t understand, you have to comply. There’s no other option.

Futou is like “oh, by the way, apparently there’s a foreigner running around yammering about the oil presser spirits - is that you too? You’d better back off and stop talking about the spirits, or bad stuff is going to go down and it’ll be your fault. There have been multiple incidents of cars slipping on roads since last night.”

Hiraga is genuinely confused. He doesn’t think the oil pressers would cause car accidents or otherwise hurt humans, and besides, the person yelling about the oil pressers isn’t them, it’s their “friend” Robinson. He can try to convince Robinson to chill - but before that, he himself needs to understand what’s going on. Why can’t they go to Kamishima, and why can’t they talk about the oil pressers? He’d like an explanation.

Hiraga stubbornly insisted. At times like this, his extremely obstinate nature came to the fore.

But his opponent seemed remarkably stubborn as well.

“Why should I talk to someone who doesn’t understand, about things they won’t understand? I don’t have time for this. If you won’t do as I say, the conversation is over.”

The boy Futou got to his feet. Roberto suddenly spoke up in German.

“Is there anyone here who understands German?”

Futou, Sara, and Hiraga all stared at Roberto, perplexed. Futou and Sara looked like they had no idea what was going on.

Hiraga blinked.

“Let me translate what Father Roberto said…”

Roberto put a finger to Hiraga’s mouth, shushing him midway.

“I’ll negotiate with Futou from here. But I don’t want Miss Sara to get wind of our plans, so we’ll make our arrangements in German. Alright?”

“I understand.”

I just want to appreciate Hiraga not realising that Roberto is trying to talk to him in secret. Bless.

Roberto asks how long it’ll take Hiraga to finish analysing his soil samples, and Hiraga says probably about ten days. Roberto has an offer for Futou - how about they stay away from Kamishima for one week? (Roberto guesses from Futou’s urgency that they’re operating under some time limit.) Futou agrees.

As for the oil pressers, Roberto says that their “friend” has just gotten really into Japanese youkai, but he doesn’t mean any harm; he hopes Futou will understand.

The boy Futou raised an eyebrow slightly.

“It doesn’t matter whether I understand. What I’m asking is whether he’ll stop or not.”

“I’ll try to convince him to stop, but he’s a free man with his own dreams for the future. Just how long should I restrain him?”

Futou’s face tensed, and his voice was dark when he replied.

“I can tell you’re trying to sound out our plans. But very well - I’ll answer. Three days. After three days, once the full moon is safely past, he can do whatever he wants. Otherwise, there will be an even greater disaster. People are likely to die.”

Roberto gets chills at this declaration, but agrees. Of course, being Roberto, he can’t just leave it at that.

“Until the full moon is past… I see. Hmm. That might be a bit tricky.”

“Why?”

“Our friend is quite an energetic man; it won’t be easy to hold him back. I’ll probably have to put my own work on hold, to keep an eye on him constantly.”

“Are you saying you won’t do it?”

“No, that’s not it. I just have a minor condition. If you fulfil it, I can keep my friend in check.”

Roberto wants Futou and the other villagers to give him any information and recordings they have related to the miracle. Futou seems reluctant, but Sara talks him into it. (She addresses him as “Shirou-san”. Hmm.)

Two can play at the same game, though - Futou also wants our heroes to do something in exchange for the info. He won’t tell them what it is now, but he’ll return to fetch them on the night before the full moon.

After the visitors leave, Roberto and Hiraga discuss this latest bit of weirdness. They agree that it’s quite the coincidence that the boy Futou has the same given name as Amakusa Shirou, and Roberto infodumps everything he learnt today about Amakusa Shirou, the Hidden Christians, etc. Hiraga is impressed. “That’s amazing. You gathered this much information in no time at all.” They also wonder what the boy wants from them, but who knows.

The next morning, someone really had died.

OH, FINALLY, we’re way overdue for a corpse

This one is an unidentified body found along the coast, and it’s completely covered in scars like it was scalded with hot oil. I await the VME explanation for this.

There are also news reports of multiple accidents due to cars slipping on the roads. All this lines up with the warnings from the boy Shirou.

Hiraga has contacted Robinson, who goes pale and asks, “Oh Jesus, you mean this is all my fault…?” Roberto says it could be a coincidence, but if so, that’s pretty uncanny - either way, it’s probably best to take Shirou’s warning and not go around mouthing off about spirits. Loose lips sink ships (or crash cars, apparently).

“Just who did this warning come from? Who on earth are they?” Robinson asked dubiously.

“Well, we’re not too sure. We only met them for the first time last night,” Roberto deflected.

“So, Father Roberto, you’re telling me that because of what these strangers said, you’ll be monitoring me for the next three days? This is a violation of my privacy! Don’t you think so, Father Hiraga?” Robinson asked, gazing beseechingly at Hiraga.

“But there has indeed been a death. I also believe we should be cautious, so as not to endanger anyone. Besides, we made a promise to them, and I want to keep it as well.”

“Well then, Father Hiraga - say ‘please’ to me. If you do, I’ll do as I’m told.”

Robinson demonstrated by clasping his fingers together, turning his gaze upward, and saying, “Please.”

Hiraga followed suit by clasping his fingers and saying, “Please,” but he looked like nothing other than a priest praying earnestly.

Robinson wants to stay and talk to Hiraga more, but Roberto hurries him out of the room.

Of course, this was to keep him from disrupting Hiraga's work.

Sure, sure.

Robinson sulks. “Dammit, there go my plans for today. And I even turned down a date for this!”

Roberto is having a worse day, since he’s now on babysitting duty, keeping Robinson from being too much of a dumbass. He’s got his work cut out for him.

Especially because Robinson catches sight of Yuuko doing the gardening, and his face lights up and he dashes over to her, yelling greetings.

This was a common sight in Italy, but here, the shy Yuuko hung her head, evidently distressed.

Roberto sighs and is wondering whether to intervene, when Yoshioka shows up and hurries Yuuko back indoors. Robinson sulks about how Yoshioka keeps getting in the way when he’s trying to chat up Yuuko - he’s even barred Robinson from the dining hall. It’s like he thinks Robinson is a shady character or something. Can’t imagine why.

“I fell in love with Miss Yuuko the day we met - it was the first time I’d ever fallen for someone at first sight. So I said, ‘Miss Yuuko, you’re my angel, my Madonna! Go out with me!’ And then she started shrieking, and her father yelled at me.

“But my feelings are the real deal. I’d never seen someone so beautiful before… That lovely hair, those clear and gentle features! Don’t you think she must be an angel?” Robinson asked earnestly.

“Well… It’s true, she seems like a nice girl.”

“Yes. And my heart races when I see her long black hair. Didn’t I tell you how, when I was miraculously saved by God, I met an angel on the beach? I think the angel back then looked exactly like Miss Yuuko…” Robinson murmured feverishly.

Roberto’s reaction to this is to… start thinking about the case instead. The mention of long black hair reminds him of the boy Shirou, and he remembers all the footprints he and Hiraga found on the supposedly deserted island - was Shirou the angel Robinson met that day?

They go for a drive in Robinson’s car, for lack of any better ideas. Roberto is getting bored when Robinson’s like “okay, I know we’re not supposed to TALK about the spirits, but we can go LOOK for them, right?” Roberto is actually on board with this terrible logic; they go to the forest but see nothing, and decide to get lunch at a family restaurant instead.  

The two of them ordered steak and salad. Roberto was pleased; it had been a while since he last had Western food.

“By the way, didn’t you email Hiraga about something you wanted to discuss?” Roberto asked, making small talk.

“I was hoping Father Hiraga would be a go-between for me and Miss Yuuko,” Robinson replied, his mouth stuffed with a thick chunk of steak.

“I see. You can’t approach her without her father showing up, so you thought you’d make use of Hiraga?”

“That's a harsh way to put it. I don't want to make use of Father Hiraga. I want to get along with him too. After all, he also has wonderful black hair,” Robinson said with no trace of shyness, and kept going. “I like Japanese people. They're all kind and gentle, demure and clean, and they like housework. They're small, quiet, and adorable. I’m tired of stubborn, wilful American women.”

Roberto thought of responding, "Hiraga isn't like that," but decided to stay silent.

Robinson sounds uncannily like an American fratboy, and like an American fratboy, he needs to be stopped. Maybe he should actually talk to Hiraga and realise that he spends his time flinging acid and living in a mountain of trash.

After eating, they have nothing better to do than try looking for the oil presser spirits again. Robinson complains about how fruitless and boring this is.

He should probably be careful what he wishes for - they’re on a deserted mountain road when suddenly, the tyres skid, the car spins out of control, and they almost crash into a reservoir. They’re only saved because Roberto reflexively pulls the handbrake.

They have no idea what just happened - the road seemed to be glistening with an oily lustre right before Robinson lost control of the car, but it looks completely dry now. Maybe they were just imagining things.

Meanwhile, Hiraga is having a much quieter time examining soil samples. He finds jute fibres in the soil - like someone was digging there, put soil into jute sacks, and tossed it off the top of the cliff. Hmm. He remembers Roberto telling him about the creepy clay dolls at the museum; apparently pottery is a local specialty? So he hits up the local potters to check if they excavate earth from Kamishima, and he learns that the cliff was actually man-made, but they haven’t been digging there since the local economy went into a slump.

He was so overly focused on his work that he lost all sense of time passing.

Abruptly noticing his parched throat, Hiraga got up and opened the refrigerator.

Inside were some onigiri and tamagoyaki wrapped in clingfilm.

There was a note from Roberto attached to them, saying, “Pregate che si mangia (I’m praying that you’ll eat)”.

It occurred to Hiraga that his brain did feel slightly fatigued - probably due to low blood sugar.

He stuffed the cold, hard onigiri into his mouth.

(The Italian is just lifted straight from the text, by the way, please don’t @ me.)

Roberto is doing so much good work here, and his reward for it is… spending another day with Robinson, I guess. Yesterday’s incident dampened their enthusiasm for spirit-hunting, and more importantly, Robinson is now in trouble; it turns out he borrowed the car from an adoring female fan, and has to apologise for damaging it.

“I’ve had enough! That girl got mad at me because, ‘You had an accident when you were on a date with another girl, right?!’ I told her, ‘No, I was with a Vatican priest,’ but she wouldn’t believe me. So I want you to come vouch for me today, Father Roberto,” Robinson said.

“You said she’s ‘a female fan’ - what’s she like?” Roberto asked, figuring that if she’d lent him her car, they must be close.

“Well, her name’s Haruko. She was my nurse when I was in hospital. She was really kind to me, and so cute with her black hair, so I guess I told her ‘You’re cute’ and ‘I like you’...? And that’s why she lent me the car,” Robinson replied without hesitation.

“But you - you’re actually in love with Miss Yuuko, aren’t you?”

“Yeah. So after my destined meeting with Miss Yuuko, I cooled things off with Haruko.”

“But you still borrowed her car?”

“Don’t tell me off like that. Yeah, that was my bad - but I didn’t expect things to turn out this way, and I was going to return the car when I found the chance. More importantly, we mustn’t make Haruko mad today. I’m counting on you to back me up,” Robinson said.

Roberto could feel a headache coming on.

[...]

Robinson got out of the car and hurried over to Haruko.

“Why didn’t you contact me?” Haruko cried out angrily.

Robinson let fly a string of frantic excuses in English and clumsy Japanese. Roberto watched them from the passenger seat of the car.

Robinson’s fervent apologies and repeated compliments seemed to restore Haruko’s good mood. The two of them linked arms affectionately and came over to Roberto.

“You’re the Vatican priest? It’s nice to meet you. I’m Haruko,” Haruko said in strongly accented English.

“Miss Haruko, it’s nice to meet you. I’m Roberto Nicolas,” Roberto said with a smile.

“Oh wow, he’s really hot. If only he wasn’t a priest, I’d totally switch over. But he’s a priest, so…” Haruko mumbled in Japanese.

“The two of us are planning to go on the Dolphin Cruise after this. How about tagging along, Father Roberto?” Robinson asked cheerily next to her.

“No, I’d better not intrude on your date. Now that the misunderstanding is cleared up, I ought to head back to the inn,” Roberto said, and waved goodbye to the couple.

But Roberto doesn’t actually want to go back to the inn and bother Hiraga while he’s working, so naturally, he finds an obscure historical archive to visit instead. He meets a random man looking through a telescope at the sea, and tries to strike up a conversation with him. They have an exchange that’s kind of perplexing, and not because of the language barrier.

“Catching fish,” the man said in accented English. “No dolphin today.”

He seemed to mean that there were no dolphins.

“That’s right,” Roberto acknowledged.

“Sightseeing?”

Roberto, unsure how to reply, said, “We came here to examine the miracle of Kamishima.”

The man grimaced.

“Kamishima? No. It’s - Shikashima. There are - many - shikashima.”

Roberto was at a loss as to what the man meant. Just what was he saying?

He looked around the room for some means of communication, and saw the map of Amakusa on display. He went over to the map and pointed at Kamishima.

“Here. Kamishima,” he said, and the man nodded.

“Yes, yes.”

It seemed that neither of them was getting through to the other.

“It’s Shikashima. It’s Bambi. Uhh… Do you know ‘Bambi’?” the man asked, mixing in some Japanese.

“Bambino?”

At Roberto’s uncomprehending reply, the man looked discomfited and shrugged his shoulders. He seemed to be throwing in the towel.

All Roberto could do was make the same gesture and laugh awkwardly.

Hiraga is STILL chugging away at the soil analysis, but he’s hit a roadblock and decides to email Dr. Singh for advice. Dr. Singh replies with, “I cannot say anything without seeing the actual article,” so Hiraga sends him some soil by international airmail.

When Roberto gets back that evening, he decides to open the window to get some fresh air and admire the full moon.

OH RIGHT, THE MOON

There’s a knock on the door; Sara is here to pick them up for whatever she and Shirou are planning. They get into a car with her and four men, and drive off into the dark mountain passes. Everyone seems tense.

Eventually they arrive at a shrine gateway, and three men alight and pass through the gate, “vanishing as though they were swallowed by a black hole”. (I might as well clarify now that there are no black holes in this, indoor or outdoor. I know, I was getting my hopes up too.)

The remaining man (Kazuhito, who looks about 20 years old) starts explaining what’s up. He belongs to an organisation that has studied spirits and the old deities for a long time, and they’re trying to accomplish a ritual that hasn’t been performed in 120 years. This immediately piques Roberto’s interest, of course. Nerd.

tl;dr: the deity Mahiru that is worshipped on Kamishima is an ancient sun deity, also known as Hiruko, the firstborn child of Izanami and Izanagi. This deity takes the form of a white snake.

“A… snake…?”

Roberto shuddered.

(He’s just thinking of the serpent that tempted Eve, and all the other snakes in mythology, but, you know. I’m thinking it.)

Kazuhito talks about how when the Yamato people settled Japan, they basically drove out the indigenous people and their deities, and portrayed those deities as symbols of evil instead. “History is written by the victors, you could say.” This reminds Roberto of what happened to indigenous faiths in the Christianisation of Europe, with people being subjugated and their deities being swallowed up.

But belief in the ancient deity Hiruko never vanished for good, and Hiruko kept appearing in different forms, most notably as Yamata no Orochi.

Hiraga is excited because oh hey, he knows about Yamata no Orochi!

“Is it that famous a story?” Roberto asked, and Hiraga nodded delightedly.

“Yes. Yamata no Orochi was a great monster with eight heads and tails. When I heard the story from my grandmother, I wondered all sorts of things - like whether it was useful for a creature to have eight brains or not, and the location of the main system that controlled all these.”

Kazuhito laughs and explains that Yamata no Orochi was a villainous figure defeated by the deity Susanoo, and this symbolises the conquering of the original eight island civilisations in Japan.

“Yamata no Orochi was the sun deity of the general that governed these eight nations. That is why it had eight heads.”

“I see - this was a story about the purge of the ancient sun deity,” Roberto said.

“So the eight heads were a literary metaphor for the eight countries…?” Hiraga muttered, sounding bored.

Poor Hiraga, he’s too left-brained for this.

Apparently the oil presser spirits are also remnants of the ancient beliefs. The point is that these powers are still strong in Amakusa, which is why the ritual has to be performed here. But when Christianity came to Japan in the 16th century, it disrupted Amakusa’s spiritual energies even further and caused natural disasters.

Kazuhito: That’s what we think. Please don’t misunderstand - I don’t mean to belittle you, Fathers. Please think of this as merely an interpretation based in spiritual science. Do you understand?

Roberto: Regardless of the theory, didn’t missionaries get in the way of your rituals? I’m in a complicated position here… Even if we’re just talking in terms of spiritual science.

Hiraga: I think I understand. Put simply, you can think of it as a theory of parallel universes.

Oh yeah, that sure clears things up.

Hiraga starts talking about about Everett’s multiverse theory, and the more recent idea - developed as part of M-theory - that perhaps parallel universes can interact and influence each other through gravity.  

“Likewise, even in the Bible, we cannot access the world of God - but the power of the Holy Spirit lets us establish a connection from our own world, yes? It’s the same thing. Everything that happens on this earth, like conflicts and natural disasters - such things are events that only occur within a single sealed world. The arrival of missionaries in Japan, and the religious conversion that people underwent - those results belong to a completely different dimension from what happens in the spiritual world. And methods like ‘prayers’ and ‘rituals’ are a vector of force that allow us to influence the spiritual world. How about thinking of it in that simple way?”

Maybe if I had eight brains I could understand what’s going on.

The youth Kazuhito smiled at Hiraga’s words.

“Now this is an interesting priest,” he said.

“I am not an interesting priest. I am Hiraga,” Hiraga said, pursing his lips.

“Pardon me, Father Hiraga. I haven’t introduced myself either, have I? My name is Yukimasa Kazuhito.”

Kazuhito bowed in greeting, and then looked over at Roberto.

“You are Father Roberto Nicolas, are you not?”

“Ah- yes…” Roberto replied, taken aback.

Kazuhito finally starts to explain what they actually want from our heroes. Basically, his organisation performs rituals in order to keep both the mundane world and the spiritual world in order, and they want our heroes’ assistance with the one-of-a-kind big spiritual ritual happening tonight. Our heroes are still pretty confused (same), but they roll with it.

Roberto: If I get to participate in a ceremony that only happens in Japan once every 120 years, I have no reason to refuse…

Hiraga: Yes, that’s right. If there’s some way I can help too…

So the ritual involves chanting to calm the deity Hiruko, while the boy Shirou, dressed as Susanoo, does the dance of defeating Yamata no Orochi. If this ritual is successfully performed, Hiruko will be appeased and will return to the sea, but if it fails, the deity will become malicious and curse them.

The tricky thing is that Christianity is deeply entrenched in Amakusa, which is why they had to get the Hidden Christians to participate in the ritual. (Yep, Shirou and his clan are Hidden Christians, big surprise.) But Kazuhito says the Hidden Christians themselves have forgotten what they are, and their practices have departed significantly from traditional Christianity and fused with local beliefs.

Hiraga: This is a real mystery. How fascinating.

Kazuhito: It’s not “fascinating”.

The spiritual energies are so tangled and complex now that the traditional ritual wouldn’t work too well, which was a real conundrum. But then Roberto and Hiraga conveniently showed up in Amakusa, and Kazuhito and his associates looked into their backgrounds. “We learnt that you are a qualified exorcist, Father Roberto. And you, Father Hiraga, are a priest with deep faith.”

(Ouch. It’s like hey Roberto, you’re not super devout, but at least you have the paper credentials to make up for it?)

Our heroes finally get to the shrine; Roberto is handed a stole, a Bible, and holy water, while Hiraga is whisked off and comes back dressed as an ancient Shinto priest (thanks for the fanart inspiration). They all go into a bamboo grove, there’s a lot of chanting, and the boy Shirou, who seems to be in a trance, draws a real sword.

It’s time for some classic VME confusion!

The next moment, the atmosphere of the scene abruptly transformed.

The wind picked up strangely, and the full moon vanished behind a cloud.

The turbulent breeze set the bamboo trees shaking noisily, and behind it echoed a tremendous sound like the roaring of waves.

A frightful gale swept through for an instant, extinguishing the pine torches in the men’s hands.

Simultaneously, there came the sound of something trampling through the bamboo grove, drawing closer every second.

Slide… slide…

Rustle…

Slide… slide…

Crunch, crunch, crunch

No matter how they strained their eyes, nothing was visible in the darkness. But something strange was approaching - that was evident even without being able to see it.

The air was suffused with an extraordinary presence.

Roberto nervously clutched his crucifix and holy water. Hiraga gulped.

Suddenly the strange presence was lifted - or so they thought. But the next instant -

With a noise like a bestial howl, a huge white figure swooped down from overhead.

Roberto stared up at the night sky; a moment ago, it had been an unchanging deep blue, but now it was crossed by a trail of what looked like a faint mist, which was thickening and growing right before his eyes.

The giant white snake reared its head.

Or at least that was what it looked like to Roberto. This had to be a mirage, or a hallucination, or something. He blinked, feeling like he’d stumbled into a bizarre nightmare.

The great snake stopped right above the wine cask, and its coils dived into the bamboo grove. The part of it that was closest to the ground - its front end - split into eight branches.

This figure - the great snake that was plunging its eight heads into the wine cask - this was Yamata no Orochi.

“Oohh…”

Someone let out an involuntary cry of wonder.

That instant, the boy Shirou approached the nearest head, his movements fluid, and swung his upheld sword. The silver flash sliced the air, whipping through the darkness.

Shirou whirled through the air, and as soon as he landed on the ground, he darted to the next head, moving as nimbly as though carried by the wind.

The severed heads of the great snake melted swiftly into the darkness, like snow out of season.

Just what on earth was going on?

As Roberto thought this, the youth next to him spoke in Latin.

“Quick, perform the exorcism! Psalm 68!”

Roberto decides to just go with it, and flings some holy water and recites the psalm. Everyone is chanting various things. The snake seems pretty pissed off, but Shirou chops off more of its heads, “his motions as sharp and beautiful as a needle”. The instant he cuts off the last head, the chanting stops and everything falls silent; Shirou bows to everyone, looking tired and relieved. “Thank you for your cooperation today. The ritual has been successfully completed.”

Everyone disperses, and Hiraga and Roberto are kind of shell-shocked. Hiraga says uneasily, “I was in a daze, and just kept praying to God. Is that really fine?” but Sara confirms that it was good enough.

“Anyway, what on earth did we see…?” Roberto murmured distractedly. Hiraga turned to him, curious.

“What did you see?”

After Roberto told him what he had witnessed, Hiraga posed the same question to Sara.

“I saw many trails of thick fog that formed the terrifyingly huge shape of Yamata no Orochi,” Sara replied. Hiraga blinked.

It’s okay, here comes Hiraga with the explanations. He says it’s probably a hallucination caused by… “magnetic disturbances affecting the neurons in the brain”, which caused people to imagine shapes in the formless fog.

LOOK, HIRAGA, YOU CAN’T JUST EXPLAIN EVERYTHING WITH ELECTROMAGNETISM, OKAY. It isn’t always electromagnetism! Sometimes it’s cocaine!

Here, I’ve made a flowchart.

Okay, okay, the actual explanation:

“In cemeteries during summer, the temperature fluctuates between daytime and nighttime, which causes the gravestones to expand and contract repeatedly; this leads to disturbances in the magnetic field. Likewise, when a bridge made of iron is magnetised by a lightning strike, this is said to produce conditions that are conducive to hallucinations. Perhaps the environment of this bamboo forest is similarly aligned.

“As for why you both experienced the same hallucination, Father Roberto and Miss Sara - this can be generally attributed to the fact that you both received the same explanation from the young man Kazuhito.

“But… what disappoints me above all is that I couldn’t see this. All I noticed was the wind strengthening and shaking the bamboo trees, and the formation of a faint white mist,” Hiraga said regretfully.

“I myself have no idea exactly what I saw. Maybe you didn’t see it because you were praying with all your might, and weren’t looking around you.

“Parapsychology recognises the existence of psychokinesis - the possibility of moving physical objects by interacting with them mentally. Another possible theory is that some of the people participating in this ritual had that power, and used it to manipulate the shape of the mist that was created by magnetic disturbances. But I really don’t know much about that,” Roberto said with a shrug.

“It is often said that what humans can recognise with their five senses and comprehend with their brains is only the tiniest fraction of the universe. But I want to know,” Hiraga said, gazing intently at Roberto. “If only I could witness the ritual once again, I would carry out better observations, but unfortunately, this is impossible.

“As for the knowledge that can be acquired at present - it’s possible to analyse the fact that you and I were in the same place and should have seen the same thing, but instead we had different experiences. Speaking of which, it seems like you and I have very different brain structures. You are the type with a highly developed right brain, and I’m probably the opposite.

“So I have a proposal. How about we submit our experiences this time to the medical division, and if we get permission, the two of us can undergo a PET examination of our brain function? At least, I’m terribly interested in your brain structure.”

Hiraga said this with complete earnestness, but Roberto shook his head.

“No, no, I’ll pass. I don’t want to see my own brain.”

This marriage proposal crackpot discussion is interrupted, as always, because Sara gives them video footage of the miracle, as promised. “Apparently Hiraga’s interest had shifted from the topic of brain scans and returned to their job. Roberto heaved a sigh of relief.”

The video footage shows a dense blizzard over Kamishima, and the appearance of mysterious red-orange lights on the mountain peak, which then coalesce into a huge glowing cross. This goes on for about 10 minutes.

Roberto’s reaction to this is pretty… millennial.

“Since the only evidence of the miraculous snowfall was a single photo, and the witnesses were all affiliated with Ooe Church, I suspected that it might be a ruse. But now this video has shown up, that changes things.

“Still, Futou and Miss Sara are Christians too, so why didn’t they publicise this incredible footage? If I’d filmed a miracle like this, I’d distribute it on TV and the Internet, to share the awe with everyone.”

Yeah, Roberto, we all know what you do when you want to go public with something. (This guy has never heard of moderation. It’s either bottling up his emotions forever, or PRESS CONFERENCES TO REVEAL HIS TRAUMATIC BACKSTORY ON INTERNATIONAL TV.)

More importantly, being back to their actual job means back to hassling Dr. Singh! Hiraga sends over the video, in the hopes that he’ll spot something they missed. Dr. Singh calls back.

“Thank you for the beautiful video. It doesn't snow in India, and so I watched it with great interest.”

“Whether it's beautiful or not is irrelevant. We finally obtained footage of this miracle, and so I sent it to you,” Hiraga replied matter-of-factly. Dr. Singh’s brow furrowed.

“You think of nothing but miracles, I see. So, what do you want me to do with this?” Dr. Singh asked, resuming his usual steely impassiveness.

Hiraga asks him to analyse the footage and see if it's possible for snowfall to occur in summer. Dr. Singh points out that he’s not a meteorologist, but he’ll get in touch with the science division to work on it. (Honestly, he wins even more points with me for being the first person to say anything like “you realise I'm not THAT kind of scientist?” in a world where everyone else is pulling doctorates out of their ass.)

Hiraga and Dr. Singh disconnected from the call almost simultaneously.

I can’t quite tell if the two of them get along or not, Roberto thought.

Hiraga settles in for a long day of looping the video over and over; Roberto lies down because it’s 5 am, but he can’t stop thinking about the boy Shirou and the story of the hero Amakusa Shirou, and the encoded inscription on the cross, and the youkai, and all the weirdness on Kamishima, and the boatloads of historical exposition he’s been getting, and basically it occurs to Roberto that there’s a lot going on in this book.

At least he can tackle one small piece of it, i.e. what the guy at the archives was saying about Kamishima being “Shikashima”.

Still stretched out upon the futon, Roberto propped himself up on one elbow and called to Hiraga.

“Hey, Hiraga. I met someone who called Kamishima ‘Shikashima’. What do you think that was about?”

“‘Shikashima’, is it? Probably a reference to deer,” Hiraga answered without turning around.

“What, deer? Then ‘bambini’ was referring to fawns?”

“Yes. The story of Bambi is very well-known in Japan; it was a picture book and nursery rhyme, and also became a Disney animated movie. The part where the food runs out in winter, and the mother deer gives tree bark to the fawn, is especially tearjerking. And yet that mother deer was killed by hunters,” Hiraga said, sounding angry.

“That was Felix Salten’s fairytale, Bambi: Eine Lebensgeschichte aus dem Walde, wasn’t it? But I seem to remember the fawn ended up becoming the king of the forest - it was a happy ending.”

“Is that so? I don’t remember. I suppose I was so sad and irritated that I stopped reading halfway,” Hiraga said, head tilted doubtfully. Roberto laughed.

ACTUAL DISNEY PRINCESS HIRAGA JOSEF KOU

They talk about how deer are regarded as divine beasts in Japan, like at the shrines in Nara; this is because aristocrats close to the imperial family had a legend about a deity riding a white deer.

Roberto thinks it’s kind of odd that the deer worship of the imperial court was so readily received by the people of Amakusa. Oh well, there’s no point thinking about it now.

More importantly, I should be thinking about the miracle.

So the footprints we found on Kamishima did belong to Shirou and the others?

Then they must be hiding something after all…

The next day, Roberto goes off to the Hidden Christians’ village, and unlike the other day, it’s bustling with people and cars - including police cars. He finds Sara, who’s crying, and she explains that her father was missing and they’ve just learnt that he’s dead.

Turns out the oil-scalded corpse that was on the news was Sara’s father. It was strange that he went missing just before the ritual, when he’d been preparing for it for so long, but she was hoping that if the ritual was successful, he’d come back safe and well.

Roberto is temporarily speechless, and just races through possibilities. It can’t have been suicide. So it must have been an accident, or murder...

Roberto wants to take a look at the body when it’s brought back to the village, which will probably be tonight or tomorrow.

“I’ve had a lot of experience working with the police, in my line of work. I think perhaps I can be of some help.”

Sara frowned. “You’re a priest, aren’t you? Just what is your work like?”

“Of course I’m a priest. But at the same time, I’m also an investigator.”

Roberto explains that they came to investigate the miracle on Kamishima, and he thinks this miracle may have something to do with her father’s death.

“For example… if you’re hiding something, and perhaps it has to do with the miracle on Kamishima. Let’s say, you all know how the miracle was produced, and someone was kidnapped to extract information about this… That’s possible, isn’t it?”

Roberto, the girl’s dad is DEAD, can you let up on her for a bit

Sara protests that they have no idea about any of that, but Roberto is relentless. He points out that at the very least, they probably visit Kamishima frequently, which is how they had a recording of the miracle. “From this, we can deduce that you all pay special attention to Kamishima, and carry out regular surveillance. That’s a fact.”

He presses her to admit what Kamishima means to them, and she says it’s “the origin of our faith”. She gives some exposition on the history of the Hidden Christians, and how the Futou clan is a line of apothecarists who heal people with herbs and folk remedies, and also prayers and spells.

“But talking about prayers and spells in this day and age just sounds like nonsense, doesn’t it? It’s like the ritual the other day - I know it’s difficult for you to understand how we feel.”

“Not at all. I’m not much of a priest myself. When it comes to believing in God and praying to heaven, there isn’t really a difference between East and West.

“Besides, the Catholic monasteries of the West have an ancient tradition of cultivating medicinal herbs, and there were mysterious women known as witches who practised folk medicine. Don’t you think it’s pretty similar?” Roberto said with a smile.

Sara nodded, seeming a little more cheerful.

Sara shows him the rosary she wears, which is apparently an ancestral relic from Amakusa Shirou. Roberto takes a closer look at it and notices that it has almost the same design as the replica cross outside the museum - the one with the mysterious inscription. So the cross at the museum belonged to Amakusa Shirou himself. In that case, what does the inscription mean?

Sara sees him deep in thought, and gets worried. The Hidden Christians didn’t think this cross was especially valuable to anyone other than them, but maybe someone was targeting it after all? Roberto says no, they’re not after the cross itself - they’re after what it represents.

Sara sighs, “You’re talking about the legendary treasure of Amakusa Shirou, aren’t you?” She tells him that lots of people have come in search of the treasure, but it doesn’t actually exist. She can’t stand the thought that her father might have been targeted because of that. All the Hidden Christians want is to practise their faith discreetly and live in peace.

Roberto latches on to this. If the Hidden Christians just want a quiet life, then there’s no reason for them to draw attention to themselves by staging some conspicuous miracle, is there?

“I’m relieved to hear that. Like I said, we came to Amakusa to investigate the miracle on Kamishima. I truly wish to keep those mysterious events from being used as political tools.”

“Political tools… what are you talking about?”

“People want to stage miracles and have them verified for all sorts of reasons - to exploit them for political advantage, to demonstrate the power of the Lord Christ, to win back believers, to bask in the world’s attention, to gain resources and funding… Recently, we’ve been getting countless miracle reports of this sort, and I believe it’s related to the current instability in the Vatican.”

“What do you mean?”

“There’s talk throughout the Catholic world of using God’s miracles as a unifying force to regain believers,” Roberto replied, with a trace of self-derision.

Sara is reminded of the four local Jesuit priests, who showed up after the events on Kamishima to urge all the Hidden Christians to go back to church. But the Hidden Christians have been doing their own thing for a long time and would prefer to keep it that way. “Our faith is something that belongs only to us, and we wish to safeguard this in secret.”

Roberto has a final piece of advice for her:

“Something that seems to hold no value for you may not necessarily be worthless to others. There’s a strong possibility that someone is after your secrets. Miss Sara, please be very careful.”

That’s actually good advice, Roberto.

Back at the inn, Dr. Singh calls Hiraga and tells him that he’s run a bunch of calculations on the velocity and mass and consistency of the snow, the ambient temperature, etc. Basically it’s physically impossible for this snow to have happened, especially considering how rapidly it was falling.

Hiraga: In other words, this snowfall displays a profound scientific contradiction?

Dr. Singh: That’s correct. It is a truly unnatural phenomenon - a mystery that defies the laws of mathematics.

Hiraga: So, Dr. Singh, do you also think this phenomenon is a miracle from the Lord?

Dr. Singh: Please stop. I am not the one to judge that. And it is not my business to say whether this video is a hoax or not. What I can say as a mathematician is that, for snow to fall at the speed shown in the video, it must be dense snow with high water content. If so, it should melt and become rain before reaching the ground. Conversely, snow that accumulates on the ground would have to fall more slowly. In any case, it is certainly inexplicable.

Hiraga: Ahh… Thank you very much. [hangs up, sighs]

Roberto remarks, “Dr. Singh is as cold as usual, huh,” and when Hiraga asks how much he heard, he says, “Just the last part, and you sighing. Are you stalled on the investigation? If you don’t mind, you can talk to me about it.”

“I don’t wish to complain, but at times like this I think, if only Lauren were around… And so I couldn’t help but sigh.”

Hiraga frankly expressed his thoughts.

“Well… Dr. Singh’s inadequacy can’t be helped, can it?”

“No, how should I put it… Dr. Singh is truly outstanding. But you could say he’s… not too interested in the investigation? I think this is the difference between him and Lauren.”

I’m not sure if Lauren was mainly interested in the INVESTIGATION, Hiraga, but okay.

“So from your point of view, the doctor’s talents are on par with that great genius Sir Lauren. That’s the highest praise you could give Dr. Singh. But well, if he won’t cooperate with you, won’t that brilliant brain of his just go to waste?” Roberto said, his words somewhat mean-spirited.

He struck his hand. “How about I teach you a magic word?”

“What’s that?” Hiraga asked, frowning.

“A magic word for getting Dr. Singh to help you.”

“Does such a thing exist? But my conscience reproaches me for comparing him to Lauren again.”

“It’s alright. They’re different people, after all.”

Roberto winked and smoothly wrote down some words in Hiraga’s notebook. Hiraga looked at them and blinked.

“Are these magic words?”

“Yes. My intuition tells me they’ll probably work well. You might as well keep them up your sleeve in case you need them.”

“I will. Thank you very much.”

Roberto then flops down and cheerfully remarks, “Aaahh. I’m getting used to the tatami, bit by bit.”

Hiraga asks what he was up to today, and Roberto tells him about Sara and her dead father; Hiraga quietly says a prayer for the dead man. Roberto remarks that as if that weren’t bad enough, there’s even more depressing stuff surrounding it.

Roberto: Looking at Miss Sara and the others reminded me of something. It seems that in the past, missionaries were up to something in Amakusa. The directors of the Christian Museum and the Collegio Museum were friendly to us; they said it was thanks to the missionaries that the Christian faith and culture flourished in Amakusa, and governance was excellent during the era of the Christian daimyou. But…

Hiraga: Did Miss Sara and the others have negative opinions?

Roberto: No - on the contrary. I realised that they hold fast to an incredibly pure faith. Even though it deviates from Catholic doctrine, they would stake their life on their faith. And this made me aware of my sinfulness...  As you know, the reason why the Jesuits began missionary work across the world was to counter the rising prominence of the Protestants. But to put it more frankly, it was because of the Vatican’s budget deficit.

Roberto launches into exposition about how the Catholic Church - especially the Jesuits - has messed things up all over the world out of mercenary motives. He basically gives a rundown of colonisation, the spice trade, and how the Inquisition was an excuse to confiscate the assets of people they had issues with. The exploration of new lands in the East was to find more ways to fill church coffers, which paid off richly with the discovery of valuable gold and silver mines in Japan.

“The Jesuit missionaries spearheaded the charge to evangelise in the East. They used the gold, silver, and treasures they brought back from the East to build the dome of St. Peter’s Basilica, along with chapels, printing presses, and libraries - I have very mixed feelings about that.”

But then Christianity was outlawed in Japan, and uprisings like Amakusa Shirou’s Shimabara Rebellion took place, spurred along by European powers that supplied weapons to the combatants.

“The director of the Christian museum told me that the Shimabara Rebellion in Amakusa wasn’t a religious war. But I disagree. It was a proxy war between the Portuguese and the Dutch - in other words, between Catholics and Protestants. The Protestant Dutch wanted to seize the Japanese market from the Catholic nations, which had profited so tremendously by trading with Japan.”

The Catholics wanted to protect their interests in Japan, and so they backed Amakusa Shirou as a puppet, but his entire army was wiped out. “What this amounts to is that the missionaries brought the flames of war to this island… When I think about this, I’m overcome by the urge to bow in apology to Miss Sara and the others.”

“Father Roberto, your opinions always surprise me. I’ve never given much thought to the economic considerations behind history. But you have nothing to feel responsible for. Everything that happened was meant to happen - that’s what I think,” Hiraga said, his gaze fixed steadily on Roberto.

“Well… You’re right. I’m not so egoistic as to say it’s my responsibility. It just made me a little melancholy. And of course I couldn’t say this sort of thing to Miss Sara; that’s why I got you to listen to me.”

“Are you feeling a little better?”

“Yes. Thank you. In return, I’ll brew some Japanese tea.”

Aww, Hiraga, that’s sweet, but we all know that getting Roberto not to feel guilty is a fool’s errand.

They drink tea, and Hiraga comes up with a lighter anecdote.

“Speaking of the Age of Discovery, I just remembered something unpleasant.

“In my first year at the University of Berlin, I had to write a report about Columbus's discovery of the New World, but I remember I objected to the expression ‘discovery of the New World’ itself. ‘It's called a discovery, but weren't the Native Americans originally living there?’ - I wrote a hundred-page report about that. As a result, the professor gave me an E grade. In the end, it blew up into a big argument, and I dropped the course.”

“That was a really stubborn professor,” Roberto said, laughing wryly.

“Right? Thanks to that, I developed a temporary phobia of reports.”

Hiraga Josef Kou is truly a precious treasure.

He’s not done being chatty either - wow, it’s like he really wants to take Roberto’s mind off gloomy historical things.

“Ahh - I remembered something else.”

“What is it this time?”

“The other day, when you asked about Bambi, I couldn’t give a satisfactory answer. So I looked into it more afterwards.”

Hiraga explains that the reason why deer worship became prevalent in Amakusa was because of a superstition - fawns have spots that fade when they reach maturity, and so people who were afflicted with skin diseases would worship these deer, hoping that they too would have their blemishes vanish. Hmm.

Roberto then notices that it’s 6 o’clock; usually the girl Yuuko would have brought their dinner by now. They go out to check, and see Yoshioka pacing around. He’s worried about Yuuko; she’s seemed downcast and worried for the past few days, and isn’t back from walking the dog, even though he’s always told her to come home before it gets dark. Roberto mutters, “He’s even more overprotective than I expected.”

But it’s okay, Hiraga is here to provide reassurance.

Hiraga tipped his head to the side.

“That is puzzling.”

“What?”

“When a young girl goes missing, the worst-case scenarios are that she has gotten into an accident, or that she has been abducted.”

Yoshioka turned ghastly pale at Hiraga’s blunt words.

“But that’s strange, isn’t it? In the case of a traffic accident, there are three possibilities to consider - only Miss Yuuko was run over, the dog was run over, or both of them were run over. Unless the dog was run over, it should have remained at the scene, and it would be strange that you didn’t notice it when you checked Miss Yuuko’s usual route.

“And if we assume she was kidnapped, it would be highly unusual to abduct the dog together with the girl. In other words, you should have found the dog along the route.

“Therefore, this raises the possibility that the dog was in an accident, and Miss Yuuko took it to the hospital. But then a contradiction arises - how could she have sensed this a few days ago and grown unhappy and worried?”

As Hiraga spoke dispassionately, Yoshioka seized his arm and shook it violently.

“You - what are you saying? So what did happen to Yuuko?!”

“In short, it’s unclear at present,” Hiraga answered coolly. Yoshioka glared balefully at him.

“Hiraga, what are you talking about?” Roberto asked, worried.

Hiraga relayed the conversation, and Roberto folded his arms.

“There’s just one gap in your reasoning.”

Hiraga blinked. “Where?”

“Isn’t it possible that Miss Yuuko left home of her own accord and changed her usual route?”

Hiraga doesn’t understand why Yuuko would hide something from her father when they’re clearly close. Roberto points out that might be the problem - Yoshioka is such a doting dad that it gets kind of smothering. “If there was a boy she liked - but maybe I’m overthinking it. For now, try asking Mr. Yoshioka if there’s any sign of Miss Yuuko having a lover. If he has no idea about that, there’s nothing to do except call the police.”

Hiraga conveys this to Yoshioka, who realises IT HAS TO BE ROBINSON BAKER, THAT BASTARD. He must have dragged Yuuko off somewhere! Hiraga tries to call Robinson, but only gets his voicemail. Yoshioka is livid. He dashes off to call the cops.

Back in the room, Roberto has a dream about the Hidden Christians, and when he wakes up from it, “in his head, the scattered puzzle pieces whirled wildly through the air like a tornado, and then clicked firmly into place”. Great, Roberto, share the breakthrough with the class! Or at least Hiraga!

Roberto got up and took a shower. Then he called out to Hiraga, who was facing his laptop as usual, “I’m going out for a bit.”

Oh. I’m sure this will end well.

Roberto goes back to the Hidden Christian village to see the corpse of Sara’s father. The skin is blackened and the body is bloated due to five days of decomposition. Gosh, you know what might be really useful right now? HAVING THE BEAUTIFUL GENIUS SCIENTIST/FORENSICS GUY HERE

The corpse was mottled with inflamed burn scars, covering the face and neck, as well as the chest and abdomen - as though it had been struck by a shower of hot oil. From the blistering on the skin, these burns had unmistakably happened before death.

When Roberto looked closer, he saw that the wrists and thighs were partially marked with scars that had turned dark brown with congested blood, and the surface of the skin was marred by abrasions. These marks were probably from being bound with coarse rope.

Roberto reflexively averted his eyes from this brutality - but the sight of these wounds irresistibly reminded him of something.

Torture.

He had seen the same torture method in classified documents related to the Order of Saint Stephen, which had existed in sixteenth-century Tuscany and Pisa.

When torturing traitors and spies, they had used a device that consisted of a handle attached to a sphere with numerous small holes in it. This was commonly known as a “lead sprinkler”. The instrument had been filled with molten lead and tar, or boiling water or oil, and the searing liquid had been dripped onto the victims to torment them.

The Order of Saint Stephen had been formed to combat the heathen Ottoman Empire and Turkish pirates; they were the Pope’s division of elite guards, and also had deep ties to the Jesuits.

The Jesuits… Is this their doing?

Cold sweat ran down Roberto’s brow. His hand trembled as he adjusted the garment on the corpse.

No, calm down. I have to confirm the facts first.

Hey, Roberto, this might be a REALLY GOOD TIME to call someone!

Roberto took out his cellphone and made a call to Father Andou.

GODDAMMIT NOT THAT

But Father Andou doesn’t answer, so Roberto hurries off to the church of our FRIENDLY NEIGHBOURHOOD JESUITS. My Roberto-whump senses are tingling.

The only person at the church is Nishimaru (aka Father West, who has really not been relevant so far); he seems confused when Roberto demands where everyone else is. Roberto chills enough to remember that nothing is confirmed yet and Nishimaru might genuinely be out of the loop, and he apologises for snapping at him.

Nishimaru speaks some English; he says head priest Gerard went back to France for a visit. He has no idea where the other priests went or when they’ll be back. There was a big argument yesterday between Andou and the others, and then they all left together and haven’t returned. Nishimaru says he’s not much of a priest, so all he really does is cook and clean for the others; they don’t tell him what they’re up to. But he does keep track of their schedules.

Roberto looks at the priests’ schedules and sees that they’re usually very regular - but since the miracle on Kamishima, they’ve gotten very disorganised, and they’ve been staying out at night a lot recently. Including the days Sara’s father was missing. And they were also out last night when Yuuko went missing.

If they’re behind Miss Yuuko’s kidnapping too…

The mangled corpse of Sara’s father resurfaced in the back of Roberto’s mind.

I have to save her. Where are they now?

Roberto ran through the dizzying possibilities.

He figures that the hideout can’t be that far from the church, but must also be somewhere that people don’t go near. A place that’s taboo. The place of the oil presser spirits.

Roberto is on a ROLL with the deductions now. He figures out that the oil presser story was originally about people who extracted Hydnocarpus wightiana seed oil; there were lots of those trees growing on the Kamishima mountaintop, and around the alleged lair of the oil pressers.

The oil from those trees is specifically used to treat leprosy - a disease which has strong associations with Christianity, only rivalled by smallpox. Both these diseases cause lesions or sores on the skin. Roberto realises that the prevalence of these diseases was precisely why deer worship caught on in Amakusa.

The history of infectious disease was inextricable from the existence of religion - the latter served as salvation from the inexplicable and indiscriminate suffering caused by the former.

This was demonstrated by how many early followers of Christianity had suffered from disease. Christianity had originally been for the sake of the weak and persecuted.

This was probably the same reason why Christianity had been accepted in Amakusa…

Roberto double-checks with Nishimaru whether there was an outbreak of leprosy and smallpox around the time the Jesuit missionaries arrived in Amakusa. Nishimaru confirms this. “But the Jesuit missionaries, who were firmly devoted to their work, bravely entered the land of Amakusa.” As a result, they managed to convert about 400 heathens.

Was it really their firm devotion to their missionary work that drove them to set foot in the dangerous land of Amakusa?

Roberto knew that the answer was no.

They had a secret - they had no need to fear the smallpox.

Roberto says he’ll come back tomorrow, and skedaddles.

Good detective work, Roberto, but seriously, maybe it’s time to phone a friend.

Roberto flagged a taxi, and headed to the place of the oil pressers.

Or not, I guess!

He didn’t know if Yuuko would be there. It would be better if she weren’t.

I hope it’s all a misunderstanding on my part, Roberto thought.

With this prayer in his heart, he got out of the taxi and entered the depths of the forest.

You know, I now understand why these books are published under a horror imprint. This is like every classic horror scene where you’re yelling at the protagonist not to do some idiotic reckless thing like CHECKING OUT THE MONSTER’S HIDEOUT ALONE, and then they DO THE THING ANYWAY

From the shade of the trees, Roberto peered at the buildings.

At a glance, there was nothing out of the ordinary.

So it had just been a misunderstanding after all. He let out a breath, and took out his cellphone to contact Hiraga.

In that instant -

There was a violent impact on the back of Roberto's head. He collapsed to the ground.

Before his vision faded, he saw his cellphone crushed under someone's black shoe.

OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE NOT THIS AGAIN

And then, in truly cinematic style, we cut back to Hiraga. I’m so sorry I ever yelled at him for recklessly climbing down a cliff alone. THIS really puts it in perspective.

Hiraga is still watching the footage of the summer snow, and having a mental block.

He slapped his palms repeatedly against his own head.

SAME, but for a different reason.

Hiraga is still blissfully unaware that his problems are about to get a whole lot bigger. Instead, he successfully figures out that the so-called snow is actually inversion fog caused by the sudden cooling of the air near the ground. But why did the air over Kamishima abruptly cool?  

Oh look, HIRAGA knows how to phone a friend! Or, well, a colleague. He emails his hypothesis to Dr. Singh, who checks and confirms that it’s inversion fog, but, “As for what caused the cooling of the atmosphere over Kamishima, I do not know. It is outside my area of expertise.” Hiraga calls him anyway to press it further, and Dr. Singh points out the difficulty of calculating localised weather phenomena using general regional data.

"It might be possible if you had accurate weather data for the skies precisely over Kamishima that day - but you don't, do you?" Dr. Singh said coldly.

"Yes, I don't. Who do you think might have it?" Hiraga asked, his expression earnest.

Dr. Singh seemed to be taken aback. He sighed.

"Who? Well, I have no idea. How about you go make inquiries among aliens? Now then, I'm busy. Excuse me."

The call was cut off.

Hiraga gazed at the dark screen of the monitor, imagining telescope-wielding aliens monitoring Kamishima from their spaceship.

It was true that, with observational data collected from space, the state of the skies over Kamishima that day would become clear.

And even if not aliens, there were existing entities which might possess such data. The United States National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration maintained satellites for military navigation, through the Defense Meteorological Satellite Program. They certainly had a vast store of observational data on meteorology and oceanography.

However, even if the request were to come officially from the Vatican, it didn't seem likely that the United States government would hand over such data.

"And I can't ask Dr. Singh to carry out hacking..."

Just as Hiraga let out a short sigh, there was a knock on the door.

Open up, Hiraga, it’s a WHOLE NEW PROBLEM

Outside the door are the boy Shirou and another youth - and Yuuko’s dog is with them.

“Is Father Roberto in?” the boy Shirou asked.

“No, he said he was going out for a bit. He’s been out since this morning,” Hiraga replied. Shirou frowned.

“He said ‘a bit’ - but he’s still gone at this hour?”

Now that he mentioned it… Hiraga looked at his watch. It was past 7 pm.

“He really is late. It’s strange that he hasn’t contacted me. I’ll give him a call.”

Hiraga made a phone call to Roberto, but all he heard was a message informing him that the phone was out of power.

“I can’t reach him. That’s rare…”

Hiraga’s face clouded.

“So… it really is like Sara said. I’m worried about Father Roberto.”

“He went to look for the missing Yuuko, didn’t he?”

Shirou and the other youth spoke simultaneously, looking at each other.

“Father Hiraga, do you know Father Roberto came to our village today?” Shirou asked.

“No,” Hiraga said, shaking his head.

“Sara says he was acting strangely. She got the villagers together, saying she had something important to tell everyone - she wanted to pass on a warning from Father Roberto.

“Father Roberto was worried that one of us had died. He said there’s a strong possibility that someone is after the secrets of the Hidden Christians, and we ought to be very careful…”

“Roberto said that?”

Hiraga frowned.

Yeah, that was good advice. Pity he himself IGNORED IT COMPLETELY

The other youth introduces himself as Shinichi - Sara’s older brother, and also Yuuko’s secret boyfriend. Looks like Roberto was right about this, despite being a COMPLETE DUMBASS

The couple had agreed that after the snake ritual, Shinichi would leave his family to be with Yuuko - but then he had to take his missing father’s place in the ritual, and he couldn’t be in contact with Yuuko, which is why she seemed so anxious for the past few days. They were supposed to meet when she took the dog for a walk, but he only found the dog, with no sign of Yuuko. So now it seems likely that whoever killed Shinichi’s father abducted Yuuko too.

“But no matter how hard I try, I can’t figure out where Yuuko is. My last hope was that Father Roberto might know something, so I came to ask him.”

Shinichi’s appeal was desperate.

“...Yes, I think so too. Roberto noticed something, and went alone to save Miss Yuuko. That’s the kind of person he is.”

Roberto's personality was such that he would be satisfied with warning other people to be cautious, while he himself dived into danger alone.

Why didn’t he discuss any of this with me - his partner? Hiraga bit his lip.

“Do you have any idea where he went?”

“Did he give any hint of where he was going?”

The boys Shirou and Shinichi leant forward as they asked.

Hiraga stood stock-still and silent, recalling what Roberto had said last night. Had he said anything that might be a hint?

There didn’t seem to have been anything of the sort.

“Looking at Miss Sara and the others reminded me of something. It seems that in the past, missionaries were up to something in Amakusa.”

“You have nothing to feel responsible for.”

“Well… You’re right. I’m not so egoistic as to say it’s my responsibility.”

Hiraga remembered their conversation.

Roberto had appeared to feel a sense of responsibility towards the people of Amakusa. He had seemed to feel guilt towards the people who had been unknowingly dragged into the gambits of the European powers, and lost their lives as a result. More than that, he had said that he himself was a sinner.

Even so, you don’t mean to let yourself die as a scapegoat, do you?

You’re such an idiot.

Hiraga clenched his fists. His anguished tears were on the verge of spilling over.

With trembling hands, he once again dialed Roberto’s number. But the power really had been cut off.

I LOVE THIS BUT I ALSO HATE IT

Hiraga realises that the one way to pinpoint Roberto’s location is through cellphone GPS signals, the way phone companies track lost cellphones. If not, they’ll have to call the cops, but they don’t have time for that.

Hiraga sat down before his laptop and called Dr. Singh.

Dr. Singh’s annoyed face appeared on the monitor.

Roberto, I’m using your magic.

Hiraga clutched the note in his pocket.

hey I wonder how the magician’s doing

This prize idiot wakes up and finds himself in a candlelit cave - it looks like a ward formerly used to treat leprosy patients. He’s lying down and tied hand and foot to a bed. I’m almost too stressed to appreciate the bondage. Almost.

He can hear a woman crying softly, and when he looks around, he sees Yuuko, also tied up. He calls out to her but she seems too terrified to talk, and it occurs to Roberto that he doesn’t speak Japanese anyway.

Roberto is trying futilely to yank himself free when he smells the distinctive whiff of hot oil. Turns out there’s a cauldron of oil boiling near him.

WELL THEN

Hiraga told Dr. Singh how Roberto had gotten caught up in the case and his life was now in danger.

“Then you should go to the police quickly,” Dr. Singh insisted firmly.

“I know. But this is a race against time. Roberto’s cellphone has lost power. We can’t search for him through ordinary means. But his cellphone's location history should still be on the servers. If we check that-”

“That’s why the police-”

“There isn’t enough time. Only you can do it!”

“Ah- you- surely you can’t be telling me to engage in illegal activity. What do you take me for? In the first place, asking me to act outside my duties puts me in a difficult situation.”

“But you’re our friend!” Hiraga cried out.

Dr. Singh, who was angrily moving to disconnect the call, instantly froze.

“Huh?”

His eyes widened.

“Doctor, how- how are your dogs?”

Hiraga spoke forcefully, as though latching onto the topic.

“What? Wh-why are you asking now…?”

Dr. Singh looked startled.

“I’m asking if they’re fine.”

“T-they’re fine.”

“Are those dogs your family?”

“Eh… What does that…”

“Roberto told me. Transporting those dogs to the Vatican was very difficult. I can only say this now, but he had to go outside the law a little, to smooth over that risky situation. All of that - for the sake of his friendship with you, Roberto…”

Hiraga made it this far before his breath caught.

The note Roberto had written was worded more elegantly; if it had been Roberto in his place, he could probably have deftly negotiated with Dr. Singh and persuaded him.

But he himself couldn’t do that.

Hiraga’s gaze frantically ran across the words, but his mind wasn’t following them. His mouth wasn’t moving. It hurt to breathe, and his eyes couldn't focus properly.

His gaze felt strange.

“…Father Hiraga?”

Dr. Singh stared at Hiraga, who had fallen silent onscreen.

Hiraga’s eyes were wet. A tear slid down his face.

I NEEDED THIS IN MY LIFE BUT ALSO I NEVER NEEDED THIS EVER

Dr. Singh quietly hangs up and lets Hiraga sob over his dumbass husband in peace, while he considers his conundrum.

Singh was troubled.

It was not that he did not know how to check the location history of Roberto’s cellphone. He knew that perfectly well.

The truth of the matter was that Dr. Singh had worked with the Rome police to thoroughly investigate everything from Hiraga’s call history to his cellphone location history. Even after that, he had continued monitoring for over a year, retrieving information to track any irregularities around Father Hiraga, and whether he was in contact with the terrorist Lauren di Luca.

[...]

Of course, misusing this data was forbidden by law, and the data on the servers was protected by formidable security measures. The information would only be disclosed to the police by court order, in the case of severe crimes, or if the cellphone owner was clearly involved in anti-social activity.

But if they followed formal procedures, it would take some time for the court order to be issued. Singh knew this.

He swallowed.

The question isn’t whether or not I can do it.

It’s whether or not I will.

Our damsel in distress is still trying to wrench himself loose, but it’s time for his regularly scheduled “being tied up and menaced by a villain”. Head priest Gerard, who was supposedly in France, strolls over with the classic Hollywood line, “I see you’re finally awake.” Naturally, he’s accompanied by minions (the three younger priests, including Roberto’s friend Andou).

He’s also holding the lead sprinkler. I recommend following that link so you can really picture it.

“Father Gerard, what are you doing?!” Roberto shouted.

“‘What are you doing’ - need you ask? I’m reclaiming the treasure of the Pope - the Vatican - from the heathens in this land. That is my mission.”

Gerard stepped closer, expressionless.

“Treasure?”

“Indeed. Before this, when the Vatican was on the verge of a crisis and fell into financial difficulties, it was rebuilt splendidly using the treasure of the Hidden Christians here. But the Jesuits were expelled from Japan before they could deliver the final treasure to the Vatican. Now that the Vatican once again faces a financial crisis, it is necessary to recover the medieval treasure.”

“Ridiculous. And that’s why you killed Mr. Futou?”

“I had no intention of killing him at first. That family should know the location of the treasure, and if he’d obediently handed it over, all would have been well. But he obstinately refused. He was frustratingly tight-lipped. And so I had to make use of holy torture.

“Those fellows don’t seem to value their own lives at all; if we’d taken his son, it’d have ended the same way. That’s why we took his fiancee.”

“What are you going to do with Miss Yuuko?!”

“Make a deal. What will that man’s son choose - faith or his lover? If we slowly send him more and more pictures of the girl being tortured, he’s bound to hand over the treasure at some point. I was planning to enjoy myself to my heart’s content, but then an unexpected obstacle showed up. Father Roberto, now that you know the secret, you must be dealt with.”

With these words, Gerard dipped the frightful “lead sprinkler” into the cauldron of seething oil. There was a strange sizzling sound.

Then Gerard came into sight. He was gazing with pleasure at the steaming instrument as oil dripped from it.

“Now then… Who should I start with? Should I begin with the girl’s ankle? Or Father Roberto, would you like to go first?”

Gerard's smirking face drew closer. Drops of oil fell from the lead sprinkler, and as they landed on the flagstones, steam rose with a hiss.

Gerard whispered into Roberto's ear, "We who serve the Pope should be of one mind. Submit to me and you will be saved."

He then turned on his heel, and approached Yuuko.

"Maybe I’ll start with the girl after all..."

Yuuko's eyes were filled with tears. She cried out, her voice fraying like a silk thread.

"Wait! Don't hurt Miss Yuuko! She has nothing to do with this!"

"Then you will be the first to receive punishment!"

Gerard raised the lead sprinkler. The next instant, he poured a stream of boiling oil down towards Roberto's foot.

The bed was scorched, and smoke rose from Roberto's cassock. He felt a momentary heat, but there was no pain.

He was so afraid his teeth were chattering. The sound echoed in his skull.

"Oh my, I missed? You're a lucky man."

Gerard grinned, and stepped back towards the cauldron.

Roberto shook off his terror. Feigning calm, he called out to Gerard's retreating figure.

"Father Gerard, how about making a deal with me instead? I know where the treasure is located."

"What...? Don't talk nonsense."

Gerard slowly turned back.

"No, it's true," Roberto declared.

In fact, he had no definite proof, but he had a rough idea. And if he convinced Gerard, it would give him time to consider his next move.

Gerard stared at his face with deep suspicion. Roberto hoped fervently that his demeanour seemed confident enough.

"If that's true, then tell me the location right now," Gerard said threateningly.

"It’s difficult to explain. That's why I'll show you directly. Take me to Kamishima."

"Hmph... Very well. Then, what are your terms? Are you begging for your life?"

"No. I want you to let Miss Yuuko go."

Gerard chuckled.

“Only if I get the treasure. The girl will be confined here as a hostage. If you lie or run away, both of you will be done for. Got it?”

“Of course. I understand.”

Roberto has a good heart but a TERRIBLE BRAIN

The Jesuits hustle him out of the cave bound and gagged and at knifepoint, and put a bag over his head, because we’re really committing to the bondage.

Roberto does notice that the priests are basically invisible in the darkness, because they’re wearing special black cloaks (which explains that floating disembodied hand Robinson saw in happier times). They get on a boat.

It should take about 30 minutes to get to Kamishima.

Until then, Roberto had to prepare to decipher the code. He marshalled his thoughts.

...as a reminder, he doesn’t even know for sure, he’s JUST BLUFFING and planning to SOLVE IT ON THE SPOT. You’re playing a dangerous game here, pal.

They get to Kamishima, and Roberto leads them to the spot where he saw a figure vanish the other day, and he spots a very faint Hidden Christian crest. They find a small cave and enter it, but then the path forks. There are pictures carved over each fork - the serpent tempting Eve, Jesus being crucified, sun-worshippers, stuff like that.

“Let me think for a bit,” Roberto said reflexively. Gerard glared at him murderously.

Roberto closed his eyes and tried to organise his thoughts.

Even with knife-wielding Jesuits deathglaring at him, Roberto slips into the codebreaking zone and blithely starts internally monologuing about religious symbolism. Hey, remember the Lullian Circle he was working with at the start of the book? The medieval Jesuits used that pretty extensively! So what Roberto has to do is identify the component parts of each picture (e.g. Adam, Eve, and the snake), derive their initials, and then match them with that mysterious inscription on the Hidden Christians’ cross, once that inscription is run through a mental Lullian Circle.

So simple, really.

Anyway, the first string of characters is SSL, which he realises stands for “Sol”, “Sanctum”, and “Laudo”, so he chooses the path with the sun-worshippers engraved over it. He repeats this process every time they reach a new fork, but then they arrive at a rock wall.

“Shit - it’s a dead end!”

Gerard stamped his feet, enraged, and grabbed hold of Roberto.

But Roberto sensed that there was no mistake in his codebreaking.

“This must be the goal. Surely there’s a hidden door somewhere.”

Oh, naturally.

Of course there’s a secret door, and they emerge into a chamber containing a stone altar and a box decorated with gold and silver. It looks like the legendary Ark of the Covenant - knowing VME, it might be. Gerard is thrilled. “We’ve finally found it! The treasure that will save the Vatican from its crisis!”

“What should we do with him?”

A smirk crossed Gerard’s face, and he turned to Roberto.

“Father Roberto, you’ve really worked hard to guide us here. We no longer have any use for you, but in honour of your efforts, I’ll give you a special choice. You can die here like this, or you can become my subordinate. Choose one or the other.”

Gerard drew a dagger from under his cloak, and held it to Roberto’s throat. Nanjou, too, brandished his gleaming knife.

Roberto made no reply. The heavy silence drew on.

I bet he’s about to say “guess I’ll die”, but fortunately, before that happens:

“Father Roberto!”

A loud voice echoed nearby. It was Hiraga.

“Are you alright, Father Roberto?!”

This time, it was the voice of the boy Shirou.

Then there’s a stampede of footsteps, like 20 to 30 people are headed their way.

Seeing the tide turn, Gerard violently shoved Roberto away. Roberto lost his balance and fell to the floor.

“Let’s go! Help move this!”

Hiraga and the Hidden Christians burst into the room, and Shirou rushes after the priests who are getting away with the treasure chest. Naturally, THIS is when Roberto loses his chill and yells, “Watch out for the knife! They have knives!”

I give up on this man.

Hiraga knelt down next to Roberto and started cutting his ropes with a Swiss Army knife.

“I’m glad you’re alright… I was worried I wouldn’t make it in time.”

“More importantly - Hiraga, Miss Yuuko is still a captive,” Roberto said hurriedly.

Hiraga shot a glance at him.

“She’s alright. She is with her lover right now, and is going to Mr. Yoshioka.”

“That’s a relief, then.”

Hiraga explains how Dr. Singh tracked down Roberto’s cellphone location, so they managed to find Yuuko; she was being guarded by Roberto’s former friend Andou, but he answered their questions honestly and vowed to turn himself in to the police. Then Shirou gathered the villagers and led them all to this hideout on Kamishima.

“I see… Hiraga, thank you for coming to save me,” Roberto said seriously.

“It wasn’t me - everyone came to save you. Please learn from this experience and stop being reckless, and give thanks to God for your rescue.”

Hiraga, speaking in a slightly angry tone, jerked the knife.

CALL HIM OUT, HIRAGA

Shirou returns and gloomily announces that the priests got away with the treasure. Hiraga casually explains that their cloaks must have been made with Vantablack, because VME will never miss the chance for a meme.  

Roberto wants to apologise for letting the bad guys get away with the treasure (TWO BOOKS IN A ROW, SERIOUSLY). Shirou explains that the chest was very important to the Hidden Christians - it held a seemingly-empty pot that was supposedly a sacred relic. Roberto guesses that the pot contained the residue of something like dried fruit peels or burnt charcoal, and Shirou confirms this.

“It’s good you didn’t touch them. That was smallpox.”

Specifically, they were the scabs of people suffering from smallpox - these were historically used as a sort of immunisation.

“Father Gerard and the others might be disappointed when they see the contents of the chest,” Hiraga said mildly, and Roberto spontaneously burst out laughing.

“Right?”

Roberto talks about how colonialism has historically been furthered by introducing diseases to the indigenous populations, and that’s what happened in Amakusa. “Diseases don’t just cause mental and physical suffering. Societies ravaged by disease also experience religious turmoil - you could say it’s an ideal opportunity for religious conversion. Ordinarily, no one would set foot in a place where there was a smallpox outbreak, but the missionaries went ahead with their proselytising without hesitation.”

“But, Roberto - at the same time, surely there were also missionaries who devoted themselves wholeheartedly to serving people. The scabs of Saint Silvester here also saved many lives, didn’t they? I want to believe this. There must have been many people like Father Almeida, who were not simply driven by aggression and profit,” Hiraga said.

“That’s true,” Roberto replied, nodding deeply. "There are always villains, but there are also good people."

Hiraga looked Roberto straight in the eye, and said, smiling, "Yes."

As usual, this tender moment is interrupted by a weird discovery - looking closer at the altar now that the chest is gone, Shirou finds a strange mechanism that reminds him of a puzzle. Roberto tries out a bunch of codes.

As Roberto dexterously manipulated the dial, lining up one word after another, Shirou and the others watched wide-eyed, sighing with admiration.

(Don’t be fooled, folks. He’s still a moron.)

Naturally, Roberto solves the puzzle, and the altar cracks and slides open to reveal a pool of water, containing hundreds of huge, dazzling white pearls. Turns out that the Hidden Christians cultivated pearls, which is a surprise even to their descendants.

“So there was something like this lying under the altar… This must have been a worthy offering to God. From now on, we will abide by our ancestors’ beliefs, and reveal this secret to no one. And we will continue our steadfast prayers to God for the rest of our lives.”

Shirou and the Hidden Christians all kneel and pray. No one touches any of the pearls, despite how valuable they must be.

Roberto helpfully reminds us that church dodginess knows no limits, and the missionaries probably set out to convert the people of Amakusa specifically so they could get their hands on the pearls. Hiraga does not take this well.

“The main components of pearl are aragonite - crystallised calcium - and conchiolin, which is protein. It’s the same composition as shell. When something slips into the interior of a mollusc’s shell, the mantle, which secretes the components of the shell, undergoes cell division. This forms a layer of calcium and organic matter that encases the object. Pearls appear iridescent to the human eye simply because of the structure of these overlapping layers.

“It’s far too cruel to sacrifice human lives for something like this.”

“I know. Deceiving such pure people… I can’t stomach it either.”

Hiraga suddenly realises that hey, the book is ending and they still haven’t solved the miracle! Time to tie up all the loose ends at once! Also, Hiraga hasn’t given that much exposition so far; he needs to catch up.

A rundown, because this recap is so long by now that it probably needs its own recap:

Q: Why were there jute fibres in the cliff soil?

A: The Hidden Christians were harvesting soil from the top of the cliff, putting it in sacks, and dropping it off the top of the cliff.

Q: Who was the black-haired angel Robinson saw?

A: A tall, buff Hidden Christian dude wearing a black headscarf, who was collecting soil when he saw Robinson on the beach. The Hidden Christians didn’t want to be found on Kamishima, but they signalled for help with an emergency searchlight, so the fishing boat came by to pick up Robinson the next day. Roberto thinks this is pretty hilarious. “Robinson would be shocked to find out that his first love, the angel, is actually this big man.”

Q: What was the figure of Christ that Robinson saw?

A: This cave on Kamishima contains an underground chapel with a massive relief of Christ, covered with luminous moss. Because of ~science~ and the way moss grows into cracks, the image of Christ also became visible on the other side of the rock face, and glowed brightly in the typhoon. It vanished soon after because the moss couldn’t survive the storm.   

Q: What was the cross that appeared in the sky above Kamishima?

A: The Hidden Christians were working on the island that day as well, and when the dense fog formed, the lamps they were holding were refracted by the fog, creating a mirage that looked like a cross.

Q: Okay, but why did the fog form?

A: [shrug emoji]

Shirou invites our heroes to the Hidden Christians’ church service the next day, and naturally they go. It’s very lovely and moving. They also get to check in with Sara, and they talk theology a bit.

Sara: I was born as a Hidden Christian, and when I studied Christianity later on, I found something puzzling. Christianity holds that humans have original sin, but I wasn’t taught anything of the sort. According to our doctrine, Adam and Eve ate the fruit of wisdom that God had forbidden, but they sincerely repented, and so God forgave them. We are also taught that if you worship Mother Mary, you will be blessed with a child as wise and virtuous as Christ, and if you worship Christ, you can be a good person yourself. Our teachings are simple - they’re too naive, aren’t they?

Roberto: There is no original sin…?

After the service, Hiraga weighs in on this.

“Roberto, perhaps the people of Amakusa truly are without original sin,” Hiraga said earnestly.

“Miss Sara said that their ancestors Adam and Eve ate the fruit of wisdom but were forgiven. I think that doctrine is not necessarily mistaken.

“After all, if humans are solely descended from the single couple of Adam and Eve, in biological terms, it would be difficult for humanity to thrive the way it does now. In other words, don’t you think it makes more sense if there were other couples besides Adam and Eve? It may be irreverent to say such a thing, but the Bible is set down by humans, after all - perhaps some parts were omitted in the writing.”

“So there were people who ate the same fruit of wisdom, but some were forgiven and others were punished?”

“Yes, that’s right. Perhaps God looked upon the people who had sinned and saw the state of their souls. He pardoned those who honestly apologised, and punished those who laid the blame on the serpent. If so, then I don’t think it’s strange that people without original sin exist.”

“Hmm…”

Roberto thought of the people he had met in Amakusa, and the history of the Christians who had held fast to their faith amidst persecution.

The tossing waves of history had brought many twists of fate to this small Asian island, and sometimes, the people here had been randomly afflicted by unreasonable violence.

But throughout this, there were those who continued to love God with pure hearts. There were those who set aside their self-interest to generously help others.

The apostles without original sin - they were raised in the furthest East.

The people who had tended to the sick, harbouring faith in God. The people who had gathered pearls. Shirou and the others, who had chosen to protect the pearls rather than seizing them. The nameless boy who had fallen in battle at the foot of Amakusa Shirou’s banner. The unnamed youth who had rescued Robinson. Each of them was undoubtedly such a person.

Roberto thought that he wanted to believe Hiraga’s words.

“Apostles without original sin, huh… That’s right. That’s certainly what they are.”

But now it’s time to return to the wretched hive of scum and villainy, aka the Vatican! One week later, Dr. Singh messages them to come see him.

Roberto took a step into the room and was shocked. Previously, the room had been devoid of any unnecessary objects, but now it was decorated with several potted plants with brightly-coloured flowers. This brought a trace of warmth into the dreary space.

Dr. Singh drops a load of exposition on why the atmosphere over Kamishima cooled so rapidly that day. Basically, a military aircraft experienced an equipment malfunction due to solar flares, and accidentally jettisoned its cargo, which was a large amount of dry ice and cloud-seeding materials.

“But Dr. Singh, how were you able to get this information?” Roberto asked. Dr. Singh cleared his throat loudly.

“Please do not misunderstand. I did not employ any illegal methods. Several days ago, I took a vacation and returned briefly to my hometown; while I was there, I got clearance from a relative in the Indian government and obtained this information. It was all completely legal.”

In other words, he’d pulled some strings.

Roberto is surprised at the level of clout Dr. Singh’s family has, but he also knows that even with familial connections, it’s tough work getting your hands on classified military intel.

Why would the doctor go to these lengths when he supposedly had no interest in the investigation…? Roberto tilted his head thoughtfully.

Next to him, Hiraga bobbed his head in a bow.

“Thank you for going out of your way to investigate. But the results of this miracle examination will not be officially published. I apologise for having put you to all that trouble researching.”

They explain that with the Vatican in its current state of upheaval, revealing the evil priests and how they got away would make for bad press, and the higher-ups don’t want that. Also, the Japanese government wants to hush up the secret of the Kamishima cave shrine.

Dr. Singh listened to this, but his expression did not alter in the slightest.

“Political considerations and the like mean nothing to me. I became curious about an unsolvable mystery, and so I wanted to know the solution on my own account - that’s all. I do not act to impress the Vatican higher-ups.”

Then he shows them a 3D simulation he made of the miracle at Kamishima, which renders the fog and the light in loving detail. He’s very proud of it. Hiraga thinks it’s super cool too.

“It’s truly wonderful. May I show this video and these materials to Archbishop Saul?” Hiraga asked, leaning forward, his eyes alight.

“Yes, that’s fine, but please dispose of the materials in the shredder after looking at them.”

Roberto abruptly remembers that he also owes Dr. Singh for saving his dumb ass.

“Dr. Singh, I’m sorry for the belated thanks. I heard from Hiraga that you had to trace my location from my broken cellphone. I’m truly grateful for what you did then.”

Roberto bowed deeply, and Dr. Singh’s expression softened.

“No, I should be the one to apologise for not thanking you properly. I’m deeply grateful for all the effort you put into bringing the dogs to the Vatican. For a long time, I had no wish to visit my hometown, but it is thanks to those dogs and you that I decided to return to my country.”

Dr. Singh dipped a graceful bow, and then cleared his throat.

“But there is one thing I would like to clarify with you. If you think that I carried out any illegal activity to determine Father Roberto’s location, you are mistaken. All the procedures I undertook were thoroughly legal. Do not misunderstand.”

He took out a document from his desk drawer and showed it to Hiraga and Roberto. It was an official notice from an Italian court, ordering the phone company to release its GPS information to the police.

“But that’s strange,” Hiraga said, gazing keenly at the date written on the document.

“Father Roberto’s abduction was on the 30th of July, but the date on the document is 2nd August. So, Doctor, you did…”

Roberto cleared his throat loudly, cutting Hiraga off mid-sentence.

Dr. Singh’s face flushed bright red. He whisked the document away from Hiraga, and quickly turned his back to the two of them.

“Y-you must be mistaken about that, Father Hiraga. Now, I am very busy with my work - please take your leave.”

Dr. Singh is the best tsundere, I will accept no substitutes

They go talk to Saul, who plans to speak to the Pope about the Hidden Christians and get him to recognise their existence and the strength of their faith. And also, hey, he has good news! Roberto and Hiraga get to go on a date! I mean, the Vatican is bringing a Japanese orchestra to perform Hidden Christian music in St. Peter’s Basilica, that’s cool.

The day before the performance, Hiraga emails Roberto, inviting him to attend the rehearsal together.

“It’s rare for you to make invitations like this,” Roberto said on the way to Stadio Olimpico.

“Actually, I received an email from a person who wanted to meet with us. And I also have a message for you from someone else - it’s in Japanese, so I’ll translate.”

Dammit. And here I was proud that Hiraga was capable of TAKING HINTS

Anyway, the Japanese message is from Shirou, who’s been busy restoring Kamishima, and hopes our heroes will drop by again sometime. Yuuko and Sara’s brother Shinichi have gotten married, as have Robinson and his fan Haruko.

Finally, it turns out the person who wants to meet them is Father Nishimaru, i.e. the one Jesuit priest who wasn’t evil, just very confused. He’s here for the music performance, and also to look at Vatican art. Roberto obligingly drops a bunch of exposition on architecture and fancy ceilings.

Hiraga blinked at Roberto’s words.

“Is that so? I didn’t know that this dome was decorated with pearl oysters, despite having passed under it so many times,” he said.

“Well, when you look at artwork, you aren’t moved the way he is. So you don’t ask me anything,” Roberto replied.

Nishimaru sees the original version of the painting that Andou was crying over in the Amakusa museum, and he cries too. Apparently it was their shared dream to go to the Vatican and see this painting in person someday. Hiraga pats him on the shoulder like “uhh, sorry about all your friends turning out to be evil and/or in jail, dude.”

Roberto is feeling bad again about all the colonialism that went into building and decorating the Vatican so lavishly, but Hiraga makes a long and heartfelt speech about how they can learn from the mistakes of the past, ending with:

“In our day and age, even people with different religions and ideologies have reached the point where dialogue can take place. Don’t you think so, Roberto?

“It’s alright. I’m sure that the tragedy of conflict will vanish from the world someday - it may be far, far off in the future, but the world is headed in a better direction. That’s how I feel.”

I don’t know about that, Hiraga, but here’s a nice musical number to end the book! In Latin!

#vatican miracle examiner #translation

[moneypedia]

[moranmagic]

GDS3 Trial 1 Post Script

I went into this challenge with a general strategy in answering the questions overall. I also had a plan in how to go about answering them in the time given. I will first tell you my plan for answering them, then the strategy I was working under to help guide my answers overall, and finally thoughts on the answers I have and how well I did on each question. I mostly won't provide my answers here yet (I will do that either after the contest ends or at least if I know I am no longer in the running).

My plan to answer them worked as follows. First I read each question and then noted them on my phone. I spent the next day just considering each question and talking to myself about it. That night I made notes of possible answers for each as well as a few bullet points of how I could defend those answers. The next day I recorded myself talking about my best potential answers (it was a point where I was stuck in my car for about an hour, so I channeled Drive to Work and talked about Magic). When I got home I listened to that stuff and took some more notes, then set to work writing essays.First draft done, I went to bed.

The next day I reread my answers and then reread the questions, and then reread my answers. Then I rewrote my essays from scratch after considering what about them should change. I was very happy with the second draft I had for each of the essays and I made more minor revisions and corrections on the next day before submitting them. I'm quite pleased with the overall answers.

My strategy in answering them was to showcase a wide range of abilities; I touched on design and development issues, the integration of creative, player reception, and the larger (standard) environment created that each set is a part of (barring supplemental products of course). Some questions naturally focused on individual mechanic and card design, while others allowed me to talk about bigger concerns with a design (for better or worse, and with one answer in particular I definitely dropped the ball in pursuing this strategy).

Question 1

I sought to emphasize my design skills though they are all currently “amateur.” I don't and have not had a career as a professional in any aspect of design, though my hobbies and passions all revolve around it. I also put great weight on my ability and desire to work with a team in collaborative processes. I'd love the opportunity to expand on these things during a face to face interview.

Question 2

I don't think any non-evergreen mechanic currently satisfies the demands of being made evergreen. Due to that, this was the hardest question of the ten from my perspective. I made the argument for skulk, shifted into green to act as evasion on green's smaller creatures where trample doesn't make sense. I'd make it primary in green and tertiary in black and blue, only to be used there when none of their other evasion makes sense somehow. This would hopefully allow the mechanic to see some good use despite its small design space.

Question 3

This felt like the easiest question to answer. Defender is strictly a downside mechanic, there are no issues with writing out the effect defender has since walls are never crowded with text, and mimicking Propaganda text on cards that lose defender actually saves space and simplifies cards that currently have defender. For example I'd drop defender from Hightide Hermit and write its rules text as “Hightide Hermit can't attack unless you pay EE.” Even in a world where defender remains evergreen, that's a good change to make to cards like that.

Question 4

I've taught a few people to play Magic so I feel really good about my answer with this. I even write it out as a bit of a story to help them see how that first game with a stranger would go. I defined the best possible outcome as the stranger wanting to play Magic after I taught them and that the best way to ensure they want that is for them to have fun. I'd grab two planeswalker decks and we'd start playing. First game open handed so I can look at their cards and advise them directly and they can ask questions without feeling like they're giving up information that should remain hidden. I explain just rules relevant at the time and stay away from any complicated stuff or technical terminology that might trip them up or overwhelm them. When we're done with that first game I ask if they want to play again and then we play a normal game with hands hidden. I haven't always taught players this way, but my methods for teaching the game improve each time I do it (one of the first people I taught was my fiancee and I regret that because I did not do a good job at all, but it gave me a better idea of how to teach Magic by making what not to do clearer).

Question 5

The answer to this question is fun, no doubt in my mind. People come to the game because it's fun and they stick with the game because it's fun. You have to make sure it remains fun. Making a fun experience isn't easy, but I also touched on how there are a lot of different players and each of them gets something different from Magic. So the real trick is learning about all the different ways people enjoy Magic and then making some aspect of the game for each of them. In other words, you aren't just designing for yourself.

Question 6

My answer to this question is complexity. I clarify that complexity isn't all bad; some of it is absolutely needed to make the game as enjoyable as it is. But too much complexity or complexity employed the wrong way, ruins the game. Complexity needs to be watched and it always needs to be in service to a fun experience. I think this answer is solid but it felt a bit rote to me as well. I've read and listened to a lot of Rosewater's stuff on design and I never set out to rehash his ideas here, but he has an incredible understanding of design philosophy and since I'd consider myself a student of his in many respects, that comes through in my answers anyway.

Question 7

I wanted so much more from Cipher. I think its shortcomings are that it was difficult to develop, confined mechanically (it couldn't be used on combat tricks and they chose not to use it on instants due to confusion), and it used weird terminology with encode. My solution is a mechanic I called Spellstrike which I believe has more tools to develop it fairly, works on instants and sorceries and as combat tricks, and used only existing and commonly used Magic terminology. That's all I'll say about it here as I hope to design some of these cards in a challenge later.

Question 8

This is where my strategy in answering really bit me. I've talked about specific card and mechanic design in previous questions so I thought this was a good space to expand to block and larger environment design, as well as creative. I answered that I loved Eldritch Moon but that its reception by the larger player base was soured because it followed Battle for Zendikar block. I didn't touch so much on design issues in the set itself here, nor on what I would change because it would have made the set better for me. Instead I focused on how design and creative failed to recognize that the general flavor of Eldrazi would cause fans to conflate Innistrad and Zendikar Eldrazi as being essentially the same thing even though the designs are literally worlds apart. Delaying Shadows Over Innistrad block I believe would have resulted in better reception of it. Still, my answer here is the biggest miss I had among these questions though I still believe it showcases an ability to learn from every aspect of a design.

Question 9

I considered Aether Revolt and Dragons of Tarkir for this. Dragons of Tarkir took away the best mechanic part of Khans of Tarkir, the clans, but introduced a lot of cool dragons. Ultimately I decided I had more to defend in talking about Aether Revolt instead and could better showcase an eye for design with a specific circumstance I'll mention below. Aether Revolt for me just didn't do much that Kaladesh wasn't already doing and better. I didn't include this in the question as I didn't think of it at the time, but now I wonder if that's because it suffered from the blob problem where decks could too easily just play good stuff so not as many cards had the chance to shine in constructed. In limited it just wasn't doing enough to change draft to make it more enticing to draft this than it was to draft triple Kaladesh. I'm not clear on what could have changed that.

But for the actual question, the aspect I think worked best, was the mechanic Revolt. I went on to discuss how it's not simply a Morbid clone and specifically that it forces you to reassess how you play something as simple as Evolving Wilds. Any mechanic that makes you rethink an aspect of the game that you usually take for granted is doing good work.

Question 10

This is the question I had the most potential answers for: use they/their instead of gendered pronouns in rules text, introduce “discard” to red in the form of “impulsing” cards out of opponent's hands, use draw as terminology to describe moving a card (not permanent) from any zone to a player's hand and discard to describe moving a card from any zone to a player's graveyard, getting rid of the legend rule, making enchantment creatures evergreen, and probably a few others I can't think of now.

I opted to defend removing the legend rule. It allows more fun and I believe it's the one design decision that you can most directly connect to a financial business decision because of the huge market evidenced for Commander players. Again, the answer here played into my goal to show a breadth of vision in my design abilities.

Overall I'm really happy with my answers despite the errors I see now. In the short time available to answer them I believe that I provided strong answers backed up with reasoned judgment and examples, even in the case that I didn't quite answer the question at hand in number eight. I also now feel that I should have worked an explanation for my strategy in answering the rest of the questions into my answer for question one. That would have better explained why 8 missed the mark a bit (though I would have answered differently if I thought at the time I wasn't really answering the question provided). I hope it's enough to get my foot in the door and afford me the opportunity to answer more questions or further elaborate on these as well as perhaps offer up other ideas. You could get a really good idea of what a designer is like just by finding out their reasoning for their answer and I want to be able to share a lot of what I said here with the folks at Wizards of the Coast if the opportunity arises.

#gds3 #mtg