#but damn some of the sh*t they say is vile | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sevencolorsatlast · 1 year

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Things I’ve said that would probably mortify SAGAU:

"For goodness sake Vile/Swan, I sleep with your boss."

"I have a better idea: Sic the Ruin Guards with rounds of neodymium."

"Tighnari, if you lay a hand on Karkata I will bury you under an endangered plant species."

Approaches Donna as Diluc "Hey lil mama let me whisper in your ear~"

"While we’re here could we give Guy a promotion or something? Poor man's been guarding the gate ever since I got here."

"And so the elderly lesbian polycule learned the true meaning of lantern rite."

What a cursed and sassy Creator/Player, you!

For real though, despite their outward facial expressions being neutral... they are screaming inside on what the heck are you on about. Imagine when you're done talking to the NPCs and teleport somewhere, they are left standing there with the most confused yet horrified look on their faces.

In my case, they (still) hear a lot of shouting/swearing and random things that come out of my mouth when beating the living shit out of the enemies. I blame Floor 12 of Spiral Abyss most of the time. There were times I said weird stuff while exploring, during Archon quests and events too.

It's also funny because I'm bilingual so they wouldn't understand half of the stuff I'm saying.

As far as I can remember what I said were:

"GET F*CKED, YOU PIECE OF SHIT...! Bennett, mah boi, you did a great job!"

(sees Azar for the first time) "This dude makes me want to bury him alive, and I haven't even heard his damn voice!"

(When Yae manages to find a way to infiltrate The Plane of Euthymia and talks to Ei) "...Do you guys need a room? I'm seriously going to yeet myself in the Abyss if this continues."

(Seeing Childe's Foul Legacy for the first time) "Wow... I'm very f*cking terrified right now. Let's see if you can beat a casual Monster Hunter fan, you lil' sh*t."

(dying from Cyno's jokes during the recent Windblume Festival event because my humor is *DEFINITELY* broken) "...My humor's really f'd up- *wheezes*"

"Mona, I really want to name you 'Puddle'! Don't ask me why though." (looks at Silly Wisher)

(using Dehya during her trial because I didn't manage to get her) ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA-

"Dainsleif, my dude... I swear to f*cking god, I'm going to physically manifest in front of you to shake the lore out of your system. Sound good?"

(To my Abyss teams) "If I'm gonna suffer, SO YOU GUYS WILL! NOW LET'S BEAT UP SOME PIECES OF SH*TS!"

#genshin impact sagau #self aware genshin #sagau #sagau brainrot #seven's ask

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villainessprefect · 1 year

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Anonymous asked: hello!! may i request a fic with malleus x gn!reader pls? this is too specific since im having a bad day sooo my request is where reader is having a bad day since they found out their 'friends' talking sh*t behind their back and they didnt attend the whole class for the whole day and ignoring everyone esp malleus (bc reader want some alone time) so at night time, malleus found reader and just comfort them? thank you, have a good day! :)

hello! I hope this fic brings you some comfort!! don't let those types of friends get you down!

title: turn to me

summary: Your latest ‘friends’ turn out to be trash. Their words lead you down a terrible descent. At least someone is willing to reach out to you.

ship: Malleus x gn!reader

word count: 2,167

note: does this need a trigger warning for like. self-loathing?? idk

Read on AO3

You should have known from the start that it would end this way. In this hellish world, you would always be an outcast, the odd one out, the magicless one. No matter how hard you tried to fit in, no matter what you did, you were not part of this world.

But is it so wrong to hope? To think that maybe, just maybe, you could be a part of this world if only for a moment.

Perhaps you were just foolish. Naive. All you wanted was to belong somewhere. Taking a chance to break from your usual friend group had been your own undoing. You should have listened to their warnings and stayed with them. They know these people better than you do. After all, they're just like them, aren't they?

You didn't listen. You let that glimmer of hope lead you down the wrong path. All you wanted was a normal school life. With that, you could believe that you were normal.

"Aren't you tired of hanging around with that magicless Prefect yet? It's so damn boring. We can't do anything with them around!" One complained.

"Just a little longer, we can't lose our gopher just yet." Another says.

"Hey! Maybe we should start calling them our best friend. You think they'll like that?" He laughs. Loud. "I bet they'd think they're part of the group!"

"Man, not even they could be dumb enough to believe that. Although, you know what they say. No magic, no brains."

Vile gossip runs around your latest group of 'friends'. They continue to throw insults your way while unaware of your presence. At some point, you begin to tune out what they're saying. Their voices grow smaller and smaller as you make a run for it, but you can still hear their voices echoing loud and clear in your mind.

You run home, or at least to the place you're forced to call home. The door to Ramshackle is forcibly pushed open, left ajar as you head straight to your room. Your bag and books drop to the ground, supplies scattering on the floor. A part of you thinks to pick them up, another disagrees- what did it matter anyway? It's not like your friends would come over.

Finding comfort in your bed is hard. It's not the best, not the softest, it barely does its job, but its all you have. At least this old thing wouldn't betray you. Hopefully. You don't want to jinx it and have your bed turn into a futon.

You take in a shaky breath and struggle to let the darkness consume you. You're not even tired, but your body aches, your chest stinging with every heartbeat. The longer you stay awake, the more your thoughts haunt you. And the last thing you want to do is let those bastards win.

Your phone catches you off guard. In your haste to hide away from the world, you forgot to toss that aside along with your bag. All you do is dig the buzzing phone out of your pocket and turn it off, not even bothering to see who is blowing it up. Friends, new or old, you didn't want to speak to anyone. You couldn't.

With no more distractions, you lie in bed and succumb to your fate. Nasty thoughts poke at you, prodding at you and telling you how stupid you are. You wish you hadn't been so optimistic about branching out. You couldn't always rely on your usual group of friends, but at this point...it seemed like you had to.

It's impossible to reassure yourself that things are okay. They're not. You think how useless and stupid you are. And that...this is how things should have been from the start. People don't need you, you need them. You're unwanted and alone, and always will be for as long as you're in this world. And when you leave? It'll be like you were never here in the first place.

As the day draws on, you fall in and out of consciousness. You don't recall crying, but your pillow says otherwise. Your stomach craved food while feeling as if it couldn't hold down a single scrap. The only movement you willingly made was tossing back and forth for a more comfortable position.

Ramshackle is eerily quiet. The ghosts aren't hovering over you nor is Grim. The latter is probably with the others. It's fine. He's part of this world, you are not.

Something forces your body out of bed. You don't know what it is. Perhaps its an old habit that takes control of you. One that lets you meet with a dragon fae during the darker hours of the world. He doesn't always show up, and for once you pray he won't.

The cold air hits your body and you shiver. The night air that usually comforts you freezes you instead as you take a seat upon the steps of Ramshackle. The light of the moon reveals all to you. It's truly a beautiful night. One you wish you could enjoy.

A dark shadow looms over you. You don't bother lifting your gaze, merely staring down the legs that have blocked your view.

"Child of man," he starts. You don't move. "You were not at school today."

"Mhm."

"Are you feeling alright?" Malleus asks you. You can't bring yourself to speak. You don't want to have a conversation with him right now. Not with a tainted heart that's laced with the fear of betrayal. Surely he wouldn't be the same as that lot, would he?

No. Deep in your heart you know Malleus would never reach that low. He may be cheeky, but he's always been honest with you. If he wanted to end things with you, he would with the snap of his fingers. But you've always been special in his eyes. You're just...not in the mood to find that spark of hope again.

Your silence causes him to worry. The lack of acknowledgement does as well. Malleus looks forward to being beside you. Your conversations were always odd yet interesting. You never feared getting close to him, physically or otherwise. And your smile was worth waiting a whole century for. Having none of that tonight is a little upsetting. Not at you, but...for you? It's strange, difficult to put into words for him.

"Lilia once told me that silence can be hurtful and comforting, you just need to know when it's the right kind. You do not need to speak and if you wish for me to leave, simply...tell me." The last of his words comes out strained, forced. If his voice could break, you think it would have been heard then.

You take in a breath and decide his fate.

"You can stay."

You don't catch the way he lights up. How his eyes widen in surprise at your answer. His brief moment of joy doesn't last, but he finds it a blessing that you allow him to stay by your side.

Malleus takes a seat beside you. He sits closer to you compared to normal, but you don't mind. You didn't exactly pick the most spacious place to brood.

Having company after being alone all day is a little nice. His warmth helps keep some of those nasty thoughts away. Although you don't think that you really deserve this touch of kindness.

You still refuse to look at him and instead lift your gaze to the stars. You once heard that each star is a different world. With countless stars that fill the sky, that meant there were numerous worlds out there. And if a star went out, that meant the world was gone. It must have been a whimsical tale, yet now you wonder if it's true. Was your world a lost star? Is that why you're here now? Did the heavens think putting you here was better than meeting that fate?

You squeeze your body tightly.

"Malleus..." You breathe out his name, which catches him by surprise. It's unusual for you to not use the nickname you gave him. He makes no comment on it. Only watching and waiting for you to continue.

And when you face him, it hurts to see you.

Tears pricking at the corner of your eyes that are filled with nothing but pain. The sadness you bear is so heavy that he can see it. You look so lost and desperate. The friend he once knew is now broken.

"Do you ever think that...I'm worthless for not having magic?" You ask, pleading for an answer.

"No," he responds, quickly. There's a hint of anger in his eyes. He may not know who hurt you, but the question you posed gives him an idea as to how. "You are an extraordinary human in this world. If you wish to base worth off of magic, then one must do so knowing how to wield it. Even the strongest of mages can prove to be inferior to an amateur who only knows a single spell."

"But I don't know any," you respond. You hadn't meant to cut him off, but it was too late to stop now. "I'm not an amateur and I never will be. In this world, I'm not anything. Just a dumb human who thinks that there might be good in all the wrong places."

"You are not dumb." He responds and reaches out to take your hand in his. You're immediately met with his warmth. He doesn't use magic, but it feels like he cast a spell to soothe your body. "And anyone who says otherwise are the fools here. You have done plenty that others have not, without the use of magic. A hardworking and kind soul such as yourself is admirable. Your valor and resolve are truly commendable." He can't help but smirk. "Who else would dare to allow such weakness in front of me?"

You can't tell if his attempt at cheering you up is supposed to be good or not. It's fitting to come from him though. And it's just enough to make you crack a small smile.

"Only a fool would," you say with no pain in your voice. You can see the little annoyance in his eyes though, disliking at your self-loathing words. But, he allows a pass for the moment.

"Will you show your bravery by telling me what happened to you?"

You take in a breath and grip his hand. The pain from earlier is coming back, almost tenfold. It hurts the same as when you first heard those words spoken literally behind your back.

"Friends. Or I guess they're not friends anymore," you scoff. "I thought I could, you know, be a normal student with a group of friends and..." You shake your head, biting down on your lip.

"Spade and Trappola harmed you?"

"No! No! Not them!" You respond quickly. "Other, no-name, unimportant assholes," you huff out. At least that felt a little good to say, even if the insults were rather weak. "I thought I could befriend a few more people, so just in case...I won't have to be alone. But...that didn't work out."

A loud clap of thunder causes you to jump. Your hold on Malleus tightens as you instinctively huddle closer to him. You hadn't noticed the clear skies being overtaken by dark clouds, causing the night to grow darker. And after catching a flash of lightning, you feared that a storm might be coming.

"Those...not friends of yours," he spits out, as politely as he can. You can feel the anger seeping from his voice as he does his best to remain pleasant before you. "They are unwise for taking your company for granted. Your presence itself is a treasure they do not know the true value of. They are blinded by their own ignorance. If there is no one else that you can turn to, then you can always turn to me. I would never take your company for granted."

You feel a pang of guilt for your earlier thoughts. To even question that Malleus would do you harm- you'd really been a fool.

"Thanks," you whisper and let your head bump onto his shoulder. "I'm sorry for...not being in the best mood tonight. At least I know I can always count on you, Hornton," you chuckle.

Hearing that nickname brings a smile to his face. While the clouds still hover overhead, the sound of thunder and visions of lightning are no more. You release a breath that you'd been holding in and finally begin to relax.

While you know you've been keeping Malleus this whole time, you can't bear to let him go. Not yet. He shined a light upon you that you needed. And maybe, it wouldn't hurt to be a little self-indulgent.

"Can you stay a little bit longer?"

"Of course."

And just like that, the night sky is clear once more.

#twisted wonderland #malleus draconia #twisted wonderland x reader #malleus draconia x reader #gn reader #twst x reader #twst #malleus draconia x you #diasmonia #request

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teacup-baphomet · 3 years

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G/t Drabble (Crash landed on a hostile planet trope but NOT via the a tiny vulnerable human in a planet of mean powerful alien bigs route)

tw: a bit of censored cursing. Uh. I’m not sure what else. Maybe broaching of sensitive tops such as sexuality and religion. But not really. Mostly it’s just rlly dumb word play/lame humor and a confused alien being confused (and kinda freaked/troubled due to the confusion? you’ll see if you read it i guess). there is some sad lorg boi times. idk. no romantic relationships. just a shaky friendship is forming between a crash-landed big-arse alien (a human! *gasp* i woulda never guessed something as vile as that o: ) and one of the much smaller, very much not human locals. most want to kill the poor dude who got stuck on this planet of hostile lil guys who think he’s a monster and immediately decide they much off him asap. so like having this one ally is kinda important to him. But it’s hard. because. lots reasons rlly. culture differences. the language tech can only do so much. the size diff creates definite issues because trust is hard in general. and trusting a big being that could easily cause havoc on your planet mostly just cuz he /seems/ nice is not a very good foundation... there is much to learn between the two before they can be truly good frens. so uh good luck to them lol *raises glass* I mean. I don’t think I’ll ever write these two again. but I’m sure they’ll end up good friends. probably.

Anyway without further adieu, here have a disappointment (read: attempt to be creative but i’m kinda lazy tbh and still kinda bitter I can’t draw for more than like 10 minutes before I start spacing out :/ )

"We are called humans or the scientific name is homo sapiens" spoke the large alien, Lyle.

"Homo sapiens? That is rather long, is it not? Why is a "scientific name" even a thing? Why would that be necessary? Scientific name versus what kinda name? Emotional name? Why are these science names two words? Seems annoying. What is wrong with just calling yourselves simply homos? Or something else just as nice and concise. Straight to the point if you will. Probably. I... Uh.. I obviously don't know what exactly is the purpose of a scientific name as i already implied... Sooo..." The much shorter – and much scalier- native being (called Torrynts) awkwardly looked off the side to stare at the plain, blank, siding of their dilapidated, isolated house as if it were the most interesting thing in the entire vicinity. Which it wasn’t of course. There was a f***ing alien 15 times their size only a few them-sized lengths way…

Lyle gave his new comrade – and only friend on this gawdforsaken planet that mostly wants him dead- th pondering, and possibly ironically, rather colourfully scaled Torrynt by the name of Kyvlar a bemused look, bordering on coy.

"Huh. 'Straight' to the point you say?" He paused with a small snort. "Well, my not-so-statuesque friend, do I got news for you~"

Kyvlar suddenly blanched, giving a Lyle a look that was like a knife to the heart while blurting out. "Wait, wait, wait! Hold up! We? There are more than one of you? Here? On this planet? Were you just a distraction the whole time. Oh... Oh no.... Have we really been victim a secret homo invasion this whole time! I-"

Their panicked monologue was interrupted by a most horrendous noise. Like a slowly dying tornado with the hiccups or something.

"STOP. Stop I-I can't. I can't. This is too much much!" Spoke Lyle with his hand covering the bottom half of his and his eyes scrunched shut.

'Welp,' thought the Torrynt, 'This is the end. This is when I die. I should have known better than to immediately put my trust in such an enormous obviously dangerous specimen. Ho-'

Kyvlar’s dramatic internal speech was interrupted when the alien surprised them by uncovering the his face, revealing a huge grin. ‘They weren't upset? Huh?’ The Torrynt blinked owlishly at the human in confusion.

"Sh*t, bite-size (Kyvlar noticeably paled at the impromptu nickname not 100% the foreign joking tone, well it would have been noticeable to someone their size at least), I know you don't mean to, context-wise, but you reminded me of my great aunt Karen when my Uncle Todd and Uncle Copper decide to have their friends over along with relatives for a gatherin'."

Plastering on a faux distraught look and blatantly mocking tone, he continue with exaggerated hand gestures. "Oh no, it's the...the...," he paused with snort, "... the homo invasion... No, no, no... Not here... not in this... this good, Christian neighborhood. Aren't just two of them enough? Oh woe is me!" The alien dropped the mocking tone and smirked towards the smaller being. "Heh. Good ol' great aunt Karen could never remember Uncle Todd was Jewish and so was the majority of that neighborhood.... It’s where my Uncle Todd was raised actually…"

The said smaller being just stared blankly at the homo-no-human they supposed as just “homo” meant something else, they weren’t sure what else, beyond just something else.

"Uhhm. Wh-what? U-Uhm, so what exactly is “homo” then? And what’s Christian? And Jewish too. What’s that? Are... Are those other types of -uh- intelligent, sentient creatures on your planet? Y-you know, b-beside hom-er-h-humans? Or are these subtypes of humans? What kinda are you? What is a great aunt? or Uncle? Does the great indicate a larger size? Oh gawd, a-aren't you humans b-big enough regularly? Oh... W-wait. O-or are you a great- uhm- great aunt, was it? E-er, g-great something? Ohhh. Zyntall (Torrynt swear). I'm sooo confused r-right now... " The timid tiny being, sighed in frustration before their eyes snapped open wide in a panic, and they did an immediate one-eighty with their behavior, and it was off all their previously trust, as wavering as it was, vanished in an instant, squeaking out a quick "sorry. oh, Z-zyntall... I'm so-so-sooo sorry. I-I hope I d-didn't offend y-you or anyth-thing... p-please, oh please, don't hurt me" while gazing everywhere except towards the much larger alien, hoping desperately the 'bite-size' nickname was just a bad joke...

Clearly they not only didn't get what so hilarious about the whole thing but also thought he was a monster prone to violence – still. Lyle sighed, all the mirth that was previously in his expression draining out of him leaving him with an uncomfortable grimace on their face. How disappointing... They really wish there was another human here to share in the jesting. But alas, that was not meant to be. At least as far as they knew there was no "homo invasion" in the making. Lyle wasn’t naïve. He knew humans were easy to slip into a gray moral state, at best. The role of villains at worst. And many of his kind would likely take advantage of a planet full of tiny, vulnerable people. Lyle couldn’t help but inwardly cringe at the thought, getting nervous about something that wasn’t an issue. At least now. Currently, human-wise, it was just him on this distant planet. And as far as he knew, no one - well, no other human at least- had any clue where they were. It probably just seemed he simply disappeared. Never to be seen again most likely. Trapped on this random alien planet in scenario that is akin to some sort of a personal hell of sorts.

'Wow. Hello, major depressive episode that’s making me overly dramatic. I haven't seen you since I was - what - eighteen?' thought Lyle regretfully. Calling this planet a personal hell was probably a bit over the top. But still, he couldn’t even seem to keep the trust of his single native ally. It only adds to his feelings of lonely isolation. And he feared his lonely angst will only get worse and worse. But only time will tell.

Giving a small sigh, he mentally prepped himself to try and get back his small friend’s trust. At least he was able to laugh for a wee bit earlier. It had been so long since he had done such. It was nice. Hopefully next time it will not lead to a backtracking in his attempted friendly ships with an open local, or even worse, a hostile local. The little laser guns that native being had stung like a b*tch. It reminded him when he got bit a couple times by some fire ants during a vacation as a child.

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So yeah these were rando improvised characters made on the spot.

But Lyle is a guy (he/him. He’d be chill with they/them too)

And Kyvlar is… a Torrynt. So like they/them I guess. Torrynts don’t have genders. Like at all. I guess they hermaphroditic (intersex if talking by human terms but not really as they are capable of reproduction and they aren’t human so… I dunno… Not even sure if hermaphrodite is a useful term. As idk if hermaphroditic animals, in nature, are capable of reproduction… I don’t think so? But I’m not sure tbh…). There is no variants like there are with human “sex”. And male/female concepts are 200+% foreign to these wee reptile-like aliens (albeit warm-blooded minded, so perhaps more draconian than reptilian idk. Also aliens being described as reptilian gives me hives due to a conspiracy theory that is like super bigoted actually n’ stuff. Very yikes. Don’t want to talk it about it rlly…). Their reaction would def be “wtf. That’s the weirdest sh*t ever” to such a thought as male n female binary dynamics & whatnot. No exceptions. They’d be like why a lot of you guys limiting yourself because of whether or not you are a potential offspring vessel or not. I don’t understand.

So Yeah. Uh. Anyways.

Their conversation about this prolly (or close to this):

Lyle: Hi. I’m Lyle. Just some random dude form Earth I guess.

Kyvlar: a random dude what?

Lyle: uh. I’m a dude. I guess I meant that I’m a boy though dudes don’t really have to be boys I think. But not to derail too much… Yeah. I’m a man/guy/boy/brosef, whatever you wanna call the male gender. Please not by brosef actually, heh. Anyway. Yep. A boy. That is what I am. Uh. How about you. I can just tell… you ….you have uhm two legs. Oh damn. Wait. That sounded so stupid. I wouldn’t assume your gender or anything. I just… You don’t look exactly human so..uh. UGH. Nevermind. I don’t even know where I was going with that... Heh. ANYWAY, so yeah what’s your gender is what I’m trying to say. Sorry I’m awkward as f***. I’m not used to socializing much. Been doing deep space sh** on my own for a few years now and.. uh.. yeahhhh….

Kyvlar: *stares blankly*

Lyle: Uh. Yeah. So. A Gender? Do you, uhm, have one? Or…????

Kyvlar: Uh. I think so? I mean I’m mostly a day-by-day I’ll figure it out then type but I, I really want be able to fix my home up. I want to learn to cook. Kinda suck at it now. Uhm. I guess… Uh. I should probably help you get on good terms with my people so they stop trying to kill you. You seem nice n’ stuff… so yeah. There’s that. I could use a little more purpose in my life. Not to-

Lyle: wait. Huh? What are you talking about? Are you talking about an agenda?

Kyvlar: Yes????

Lyle: *snorts* I didn’t say an agenda. I said a gender. As in A. Gen. Durr. Like are male or female or maybe something off the typical binary track??

Kyvlar: Uh. Er. Huh??? I, I’m so confused right now…

Lyle: Hooo boy. I’m so not prepared for this discussion at all.

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One of these days I’m gonna have a character that’s silver-tongue and smooth af and not some bumbling awkward doofus (*cough* like I am *cough*).

#g/t #g/t writing #i think this is sfw #i don't know why it wouldn't be #giant/tiny #giant dude #but he's really a human #it's like the crash landed on a hostile planet g/t trope #but the crash landed is a human #and he is the BIG #and the tinies are a bunch of hostile aliens #except for one #and they aren't really tiny #they are technically normal I think #i mean it is their turf yknow?#the tiny alien in this drabble is non-binary I guess #or maybe agender would be a better term?#the tiny aliens have no gender #or rather they have one gender #so it basically is means little to them identity to wise #like how humans are humans and thus that doesn't honestly say much about them.#except gender means even less to these aliens than that #not in a offensive way #in a they have no knowledge of gendered creatures so the concept of gender is very new to them #actually it's a non-issue to most of them because they don't give a shit about Lyle at all #oh your a guy #we don't care just die already #poor dude #he just wants a friend #but's awkward

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andrewrosswatson1987 · 5 years

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REVISIT: EMINEM UNVEILED THE MARSHALL MATHERS LP THIS DAY IN 2000

Eminem released his third album, The Marshall Mathers LP, which came out today (May 23) in 2000, released via labels, Aftermath/Interscope. Worldwide, it’s sold over thirty-five million copies to date. Singles for this album were “The Real Slim Shady”, “The Way I Am”, “Stan”, “I’m Back” and “B*tch Please II”. “Kill You” opens with “When I just a little baby boy my momma used to tell me these crazy things; she used to tell me my daddy was an evil man, she used to tell me he hated me, but then I got a little bit older and I realised she was the crazy one; but there was nothin’ I could do or say to try to change it, ‘cos that's just the way she was”. That’s only the start. “Just bend over and take it like a slut; okay, Ma? Oh, now he’s raping his own mother,” for example. “Texas Chainsaw, left his brains all danglin’ from his neck, while his head barely hangs on; blood, guts, guns, cuts/Knives, lives, wives, nuns, sluts,” more so. “Buck with me, I been through hell, shut the hell up; I’m tryin’ to develop these pictures of the Devil to sell ‘em” darker yet, to the depths of the hell, licks of guitar and bobbing bass ominous.

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“Stan”, featuring Dido, opens with pouring rain and the latter singing mournfully. The descending bassline adding to that effect. The fan, indeed, descends from infatuation to the incensed. This evidenced in, “Dear Slim, you still ain’t called or wrote, I hope you have a chance/I ain’t mad, I just think it's f*cked up you don’t answer fans”. Real invective as he swears at his idol. “Remember when we met in Denver, you said if I’d write you you would write back; see, I’m just like you in a way, I never knew my father, neither/He used to always cheat on my mom and beat her”. “See everything you say is real, and I respect you ‘cos you tell it/My girlfriend’s jealous ‘cos I talk about you 24/7,” coming between Stan and his other half. “It’s been six months and still no word, I don’t deserve it/I know you got my last two letters, I wrote the addresses on ‘em perfect” and “You ruined it, now; I hope you can’t sleep and you dream about it/And when you dream I hope you can’t sleep and you scream about it/I hope your conscience eats at you and you can’t breathe without me” progressively impassioned, voice breaking and all. Eminem finally writes back. “You got some issues, Stan, I think you need some counselling/To help your ass from bouncing off the walls when you get down some” like idol turned counsellor. “Who Knew” is harsh hit of programmed drum with sparse guitar and bass. The lyrical bent equally harsh, no blunt instruments. “I’m like, guidance/Ain’t they got the same moms and dads who got mad when I asked if they liked violence”. Then, “And told me that my tape taught ‘em to swear/What about the makeup you allow your twelve-year-old daughter to wear” proving universal hypocrisy. “Wasn’t me; Slim Shady said to do it, again/Damn, how much damage can you do with a pen,” perhaps turning inwards, once again.

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The dark thoughts of “The Way I Am” is cyclical of piano, tolling of bell. “I’m not Mr. Friendly, I can be a pr*ck” demonstrating this. “I’m lifting you ten feet in the air/I don’t care/Who was there/And who saw me, just jaw you; go call you a lawyer, file you a lawsuit” getting irate. “When a dude’s getting bullied and shoots up his school,” to the point. “I’m racin’/I’m pacin’, I stand and I sit/And I’m thankful for every fan that I get/But I can’t take a sh*t/In the bathroom without someone standing by it” ramping this up. “Remember Me?”, featuring RBX and Sticky Fingaz, takes it back. Deep, dark and sinister. “I’m tryin’ to clean up my f*ckin’ image/So I promised the f*ckin’ critics I wouldn’t say, f*ckin’, for six minutes” has him willing to compromise. Then, “F*ck that” has him exploding, going back, seemingly, on his word. Then the biting invective in “I’m Back”, with wayward, conspiratorial guitar with regimented bass and drum forming the basis of the no compromise feel. “You better get rid of that nine it ain’t gonna help/What good is it gonna do against a man that strangles himself” dark and twisted. “I used to get punked and bullied on my block, ‘til I cut a kitten’s head off and stuck it in this kid’s mailbox” definitely more so. “I take seven kids from Columbine/Stand ‘em all in line/Add an AK-47, a revolver, a nine/A MAC-11 and it oughta solve the problem of mine/And that’s a whole school of bullies shot up all at one time” censored even in the explicit version. “Marshall Mathers” is contemplative and what seems fretless bass. “Yo, you might see me joggin’/You might see me walkin’, you might see me walkin’ a dead Rottweiler dog with its head chopped off in the park with a spiked collar, hollerin’ at him ‘cos the sonofabitch won’t quit barkin’” peaking early, quick to rise to anger. “Drivin’ up the block in the car that they shot ‘Pac in, looking for Big’s killers, dressin’ ridiculous/Blue and red, like I don’t see what the big deal is” leads to, “...watchin’ all these cheap imitations get rich off ‘em”. “The New Kids On The Block sucked a lot of d*ck/Boy, girl groups make me sick/And I can’t wait ‘til I catch all you f*ggots in public/I’ma love it” both arresting and vile. “I think I was put here to annoy the world/And destroy your little four-year-old boy or girl” devastating, “Talkin’ about I fabricated my past/He’s just aggravated I won’t ejaculate in his ass” more impossibly so. The bass breaks out latterly, twice in fact. Dark ode to Detroit, “Amityville”, featuring Bizarre, resounds with the sound of drum, sparse as if to fuel paranoia. “That’s why we’re crowned the murder capital, still/This ain't Detroit, this is mother*ckin’ Hamburger Hill” like revelling in local reputation. The infamy of it all. Rock guitar embellishes the closing moments. “Bitch Please II”, featuring Dr. Dre, Snoop Dogg, Xzibit and Nate Dogg, has classic written all over just looking at the cameo list and it doesn’t disappoint. Melding the white and black audiences, like Dre in, “Throw on “Guilty Conscience” at concerts/And watch mosh pits/’til mother*ckers knock eachother unconscious/Some of these crowds that Slim draws is rowdy as Crenshaw Boulevard/When it’s packed and full of cars”. Track, “Criminal”, has funereal organ. Criminal? “You goddamn right,” the response. “How many records you expecting to sell/After your second LP sends you directly to jail” details his past transgressions. Has he learned? Nope. Then an intermission with him robbing a bank, the song faded to the background and popping the bank clerk in the face. “Sh*t, half the sh*t I say, I just make it up to make you mad, so kiss my white naked ass/And if it’s not a rapper that I make it as/I’ma be a fuckin’ rapist in a Jason mask” incendiary and waving his rear in full view of white Middle America. The overall highlights are “Kill You”, “Stan”, “Who Knew”, “The Way I Am”, “The Real Slim Shady”, “Remember Me”, “I’m Back”, “Marshall Mathers”, “Drug Ballad”, “Amityville”, “Bitch Please II”, “Under The Influence” and “Criminal”.

Eminem’s The Marshall Mathers LP album can be bought on iTunes, here.

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swannsjack · 5 years

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I still can't wrap my head around the fact that of all people in Hollywood, people decided to hate Johnny Depp. That man had gone his entire career with good reputation. Everyone that'd ever known him said the nicest things about him.

but then one day this person comes up with some seriously suspicious allegations with suspicious circumstances (arrested for dv herself, only asking for a divorce at first, sending a damn extortion letter, and making allegations just days after his mother's death, avoiding deposition three times! to name just few from the very long list) and all goes to hell. His entire previous life is forgotten. like it didn't exist. all that exists are unproven allegations.

“Johnny is one of the nicest people that I know—to the extent where it’s almost heartbreaking how kind he is"

Y'all really think he just woke up one day as he was nearing his 50s and became an abuser? everytime an abuser is revealed, it doesn't come as surprise. even if she were to be his first physical "victim" it would still not be a shocker. there are always signs. always something that makes you look back and see things in a new light, maybe not casual acquaintances, but definitely people that had spent with them more time. yet, Depp's exes spoke up in his defense. people who know him personally, even staff at events, they all have said that's just not him. but especially his exes are the most important. he would absolutely have a history of questionable behavior. but he doesn’t. oh sorry, I forgot he chased away paparazzi after politely asking them to leave his family alone and they didn’t. what a jerk, protecting his family from vultures, ugh. and don’t tell me “can’t know what happens behind closed doors” Vanessa Paradis lived with him for over a decade and she sent a handwritten note defending him. and no, she did not do it for the kids. where is the logic in that? if their father was abusive, don’t you think she would make sure her kids are safe from him, protect them from him, instead of defending him?!

yet they all said he's gentle, kind, caring. I saw two of his less famous ex girlfriends tweet about him last year, not about the allegations, just posting or commenting some pictures of them together. there have been people speaking up, saying he was the victim (people now question why he hadn't come out early with his allegations against her, but you fail to realize that he would have, he didn't sell his stuff to tabloids for all of you to see (I know, the audacity!) unlike her, but he was ready to do it properly through the court of law, but the case was dropped with prejudice (!), a NDA signed and he was never given the chance to clear his name, he even says in the new lawsuit that he was going to challenge the RO before they reached an agreement (+ his evidence list does have a photo of himself from december 2015 and while we do not what the photo is about, there’s a pretty compelling argument to be made that she injuried him that month - watch this video at about 14th minute) but there have been people saying it. saying she lied and there were no bruises, including TWO POLICE OFFICERS, at least one of them being a woman (so that's two female officers of the law speaking out against Heard - first being the one that arrested her for assaulting her then girlfriend/wife) yes, there are new witnesses saying the same but a lawyer that lived in the building said Heard was seen without make up and no bruises even back in 2016! that's not news, the same person also tweeted something about helping the real victim...

Johnny's friends all had agreed she treated him badly but they were too afraid to tell him that, said they watched her:

"f*ck with him at his weakest, or at his weakest from being f*cked with"

how do things like that not make people take a step back and consider that maybe, it's not the hundreds of people defending him that are trash? that he didn't pay all of them to lie (and how interesting to now have witnesses saying Heard asked them to “help” her by lying for her, that she said she had contacts in PEOPLE magazine, how interesting that all the things people accused Depp of, were actually something Heard did). he is willingly going back to court. he has invited her to show up at the court if she wishes to, “we are looking forward to that [her] evidence” his lawyer said.

why can't you just consider that it's the one shady person that is the piece of sh*t. a person who's "witnesses" are two of her friends who lived in Depp's home rent free. witnesses whose stories kept changing or didn't match her own. Even Heard kept changing things. At some point it was said she made a decision not to file a police report. later she said her LAWYER advised her not to file it (??? im sorry what? what lawyer would give that advice if something truly had happend?) and so many other things. honestly, how does that not make you suspicious?

and then we have the video, the video people think is proof that he abused her, even saying "there's a video of him hitting her, throwing glass at her blah blah blah" when he does NO SUCH THING. go watch it, I dare you to show me where exactly does any of that happen. all that happens in the video is that he's upset, but he's trying to ignore her. she keeps making it about herself despite the fact that he tells her it's not about her. and he slams some cupboards shut and throws a glass into the sink or something. damn I'm glad no one has filmed me when I was being abusive, by slamming the door behind me or throwing something a little harder than necessary when upset. no one does that unless they abuse their loved ones. still, Depp's not one of the smartest guys, is he. he sees his "victim" filming him while he "abuses" her and doesn't think to delete the video. sad

believe women is all nice and good, but not at all cost, not when there’s all that evidence against her. and what about all the women defending him? the list is pretty long, including JK Rowling who you've been bullying despite the fact that it was implied that she knows things that weren't made public at the time (and there's absolutely no excuse whatsoever for the bullying Johnny's daughter received for defending her father, you wanna pretend you don't support abuse? don't f*cking bully children) what about the female officers, one that witnessed Amber Heard assaulting her then partner, and the other who saw no bruises, no redness, no swelling on her face, no property damage, no disturbance (which Heard claimed was there) whatsoever?

who made the choice that, in all of this, Heard is the only woman to be believed?

not every case is the same. some people are truly guilty, but some are not. false allegations happen. and Depp was never found guilty, the restraining order request (a reminder that's all the case was about) was dropped WITH PREJUDICE. Another fun fact, the money she got was for the divorce, she got no compensation for the “abuse” as people like to say. they were married, when divorce happens, there is money involved, allegations or not, surely people know that. And guess what, being the abuser that he is *not, for some reason he did not have a prenup. funny isn’t it? one of the richest, most famous actors in the world, and he marries his “victim” without a prenup.

And let's not forget that according to the new documents in the Sun lawsuit it says she admitted to causing him multiple serious injuries. Oh yes, sure, she was just defending herself from her "bigger, stronger husband" as she said, because that's a perfectly natural way to phrase it. sure doesn't sound like a rehearsed manipulative bullsh*t to force you to picture this big bad MAN and the helpless fragile woman.

oh my God there's so much more to say. so much not only disproving her lies, but also showing she abused him, but it’s been said before and my venting is pointless, but I'm just so sick of people hating on a victim.

everytime those ignorant haters call him derogatory terms, make fun of his looks, or his social anxiety - which causes him to speak slower and stammer (which he's had his entire life but even more so now, while evil people were making fun of him at the tCoG premiere for having a hard time getting his point cross, saying he was high or drunk, I WAS FREAKING PROUD OF HIM for even standing up there in front of all those people, after two years of getting unfair hate and backlash against his casting in said movie) - it makes me sick.

Absolutely sick that this has been done to one of the most genuinely nice people in the hellhole that is Hollywood (”he doesn’t belong in show business, he belongs somewhere better” SJ. Parker). it feels like I'm in an alternative universe where it's all backwards.

I truly want to hope that things can turn around and people will hold the real perpetrator accountable for what she's done. But then I see the foolish hate, the lies (so many crazy, disgusting lies made about him by vile nobodies on the internet just to support the "bad guy" image when everything else fails and they have nothing but lies), the twisting of facts and truths, the misguided, ignorant support of Heard because she's a woman, and she had a pretty wig in Aquaman or whatever, and it feels hopeless again.

But he deserves better. Johnny Depp deserves better. And this may be too long and pointless, because who cares what I have to say, but I just had to vent, at least for my own good, because it’s been so frustrating.

Johnny Depp was a victim. He deserved love and support. Instead he got hate and bullying. Will people apologize and admit their mistake? No. Most will not.

But Johnny Depp deserves better.

#amber heard #johnny depp

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thefreshfinds · 5 years

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Dre Skuffs - Shade Theory

An album that gives back to the world & then some, Dre Skuff’s 18 tracked album Shade Theory (prod by Pawcuts & more) shows all sides of who he is as an individual in one. Each track alone looks beneath the surface.

Cornered in by a vision, Dre is able to scope out his truth. Their truth. “This project is for the world to hear all shades of me.” Dre adds “I’m not just calm or on my thugged out sh*t or a ladies man & that’s the greatest part about it. I had no difficulty even making this because it’s just so easy to be yourself. Shade Theory was moved by a feeling”

One moment the disciple could be fighting for what’s right for the people (Can’t Stop), showing a more vulnerable side (Sippin’ Yak) or even letting the suckers know that he not the one to be pushed! (Handouts & Fed Up). Yet Dre’s star-power remains on a thou’ (Hot & Top Ace Intro).

He’s as ill as it gets & creates a different illustration through the means of storytelling & complexed flows.

THE BREAK-DOWN

1. Top Ace Intro: Wow! What a way to make an entrance! Followed by the jingle of gold coins, the elevating pattern from the beat leaves room for Dre Skuffs make his triumph. Announcing himself as an emcee whose “rap style is impeccable” over a hallow chant in the background, he goes in about how he’s never going to stop(even if life throws some obstacles in his way.) While others may do it for clout, Dre does it simply because it’s something he’s good at & destined for.

2. Can’t Stop ft Jah Vision: Easing in with talks of struggle & making a change for the nation, this beat screams POWER as Dre allows that same laid back demeanor he carries to wrap into his verses. At most this song speaks about issues that need more awareness (like led in water fountains or even overpriced education) that people aren’t woke to. Through it all, his people remain strong so it doesn’t matter what the world tries to throw their way. To add an moving effect is Jah Vision’s war-ready vocal arrangement which subconsciously makes the people feel like they can get through anything.

3. Intelligent Thug: In pursuit of an glimmered blare of trumpets, Dre uses his eloquent ways to speak about women who want a man who’s gully & book smart. Although Dre has been through the wringer, he doesn’t allow it to determine where life takes him. He’s a knowledgeable being with a good head on his shoulders but in this song it seems like he’s mimicking the girls of this generation who just want a “bad boy.”

4. Hot ft Big Rod: An more upbeat track that aims some flexecution at his haters, Dre pulls out a “I win you lose” attitude in his verses. He’s coming for his spot & is damn if he lets anyone take it!

5. Phone Call 1 + 15. Phone Call 2: These two are basically conversation’s Dre has with another. Phone Call 2 is a conversation with a loved one about his recent tour & how he’s been living it up! (He also doesn’t forget to show her love for all she does. I mean.. this mysterious woman has been showing love since day one so it’s only right.) But in Phone Call 1 it surfaced around the Ghostface Killa & 50 Cent beef. *The speech is slowed down for effect*

6. Handouts ft. N-Omega: Bouncing through your temple with that West Coast vibe, Dre & N-Omega spit about the sleazeballs who just want to benefit off of their hard work. Frankly, they’re just fed up & advice whoever thinks to try it to just not. (Just invest in yourself. They’re not your ticket out of Bumsville.)

7. The Unknowing ft Courtney Danger: “In life no one knows what shall unfold.” This very line is best sung smoothly by Courtney Danger in this track & it’s true. Though someone’s actions may appear vile, there could be a better reasoning as to why it is done. Luckily Dre Skuffs gets it & so he tells a number of stories revolving around it over a soulful production. This track just oozes into your listening stream! You can’t help but to leave it on repeat.

8. Gimee My Cash ft Khalil Jibran: Most likely to make you two-step, Dre Skuffs is all about his business in this track! (& yes he wants to be PAID. IN. FULL.) It could all be so simple yet people want to make it difficult by not giving credit when it’s due but Dre & Khalil are here to set them straight. The versatility from these two emcees is apparent as the breakdown from the track builds up in time for them to both speak their piece.

9. Insane-Mesmerized ft. Johanny: A track that’s sure to woo the ladies, Dre Skuff puts on his charm & speaks of a lady who he attracts to like a magnet (but he seems to be caught up in his ways). In the bridge of 3:13 Johanny speaks in the woman’s perspective, singing ever so softly about how she feels the same. (Alexa cue Dangerously in Love by Beyonce’). As a sweet touch, the beat makes sure to center on a lightly pressed snare drum & trickled, lightly pressed piano chords, slowing down in time for Johanna’s piece. (Kind of how Drake does in some tracks off his latest album: More Life)

10. Mile Away ft Sunnie: Jazzy yet soulful (thanks to Sunnie’s powerful range), this track speaks about the ones who thought they blindsided Dre Skuffs but boy were they wrong! Stronger than ever, Dre Skuffs comes in empowered & ready for any other obstacles headed his way.

11. Voice Drop ft. Big Rod & Liftoff: It’s survival of the fittest & so far, these three have killed off the rest. Big Rod, Liftoff & Dre go 0 to 100 & say they’ll continue to reign as number ones.

12. Fed Up: Dropping in with a dauntful beat to scare away those who try to test him, Dre Skuffs is fed up with these n*ggas. In this track he’s basically in full savage mode. He doesn’t care about these groupies (male or female) phonies, media platforms or DJ’s. At the end of the day Dre knows who really rides for him & is willing to show THOSE people love. For those plotting: He wants the smoke. All of it.

13. Sippin Yak ft Maxx Gilliam: We all need distractions to get away from the pain (whether good or bad) it just comes easy to us. This track is significantly relatable because we’ve all been there & it specifically focuses on the pain he endured while his cousin is suffering through an illness.) Whether it’s losing a loved one or just a love.. the pain can just be unbearable. Maxx Gilliam’s sweet, hallow singing pattern also makes you feel like things will indeed be ok.

14. Wanna Tell You: Seductive in its own manner, the production that Dre Skuffs chose for this track leaves a perfect imprint for his emotionally captivating rhymes. Followed by some slick Spanish murmurs & silhouetted piano chords, the multi dexterous Dre Skuffs places himself in the tale as a knuckleheaded young bull who’s just “DTF” with a beautiacious woman. As a result, Dre leaves room for milennials to relate & ponder on. This track shows others that their are consequences to every action we make so it’s best to consider all of the outcomes.

16. Real With Me ft Sobmar: Bringing back that 90’s soulful feel Dre speaks about the woman he looks for, one that’s honest, into him & someone he can just kick it with. That’s really all he ask for. Plain & simple. In pursuit is Sobmar’s mellow singing voice.

17. Be Free ft. Trish Jane: Smooth at it’s finest with the same trickled piano chords, the light hitting drum helps to tell an intriguing tale about a man who’d do anything for his family if it means to keep them happy “who’s lost in the sauce forreal”. Little does he know it’ll have the worst outcome. It just goes to show you that humans will do anything for materialistic things & it’s sad. I especially love Trish Jane’s risen singing pattern because it helps to deliver the main message.

18. The Charge Up: The instruments are HEARD in this last track. From the cymbals to the low guitar riffs, they bring the track to life. Dre Skuff is really trying to tell the TRUTH to everyone but sometimes it’s taken as being “boring” or “corny”. Advising others to not give into the evils of the world, he just wants his people to spread the love & fight for justice.

In a word, Shade Theory is timeless. It’s going to affect the world in a positive way. Each track is different & gives you topics to ponder on. “The sound is just us [NJ artist].” (But that can’t be said about every artist. Dre’s manager even thought Fetty Wap was from the South!)

Shade Theory is full of realizations, words of encouragement & shows that Dre’s drive is apparent. “You can break me down in 20 ways, but Shade Theory..that’s me.”

By: Natalee Gilbert

Shade Theory **Available on all platforms**

https://soundcloud.com/dreskuffs/sets/shade-theory

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smokeybrand · 3 years

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Duplicity

It’s nuts watching the spin the Right is thing on this Gina Carano firing. I understand the free speech thing and i, personally, wouldn’t have fired her but i understand why she was terminated. I’ve written at length about my perspective on that aspect of the matter. This ain’t about that. This is about how “FirePedroPascal” trended on Twatter yesterday because he posted an image comparing a MAGA hat to Nazi Swastika and a Klan hood or something. This is not the same thing as the nonsense Carano spouts. This isn’t some Leftist elitism judging your wholesome Rightist views. That comparison is one that f*cking MAGA cultists have done everything to earn. Those vile motherf*ckers worship one of the most disgusting people to ever hold office. Donald Trump is a proven racist, misogynist, and elitist, filth. He’s a liar and a cheat, willing to, and damn near accomplished, sell out the American people for a quick buck. This is a man who’s entire platform was based on bigoted xenophobia and he won. Just like Hitler. This is a man that used the the idea of the other, the specter of Brown and Black people, to terrify, radicalized, and galvanized, every suburban White person who would listen. Just like Hitler did with the Jewish Problem. This is a man who actively, knowingly, incited a whole ass insurrection. People died. This is a man who separated refugee children from their parents strictly because they came from “sh*thole countries.”

On Trump’s order, entire families were destroy just for seeking asylum from incredibly dangerous places where horrors would be heaped upon them, hoping to find safety in the “Land of the free”, only to have their locked in concentration camps before their parents were sent back to the fire from whence they came. These kids have come to know hunger, diseases, and assault in these camps, some even forcibly sterilized, all on Herr Trump’s watch. That MAGA hat is red because it’s stained in the blood of thousands of innocent children, all illegally incarcerated just for being Brown. That comparison Pascal made is every bit apt, deserved, and f*cking earned. History will definitely remember it as such. It is not the same as the sh*t Carano says or the one thing that was used to let her go. Being Conservative in this age is definitely not the same as being Jewish during the Holocaust. That is a false equivalency, one that was rightfully called out. If we’re being truth, being that young, Brown, kid trying to escape a brutal life in some Latin country to south, is a much more apt parity to a Jew during the Holocaust, but we’re not being truthful right now. We’re not taking context into consideration anymore. We are being willfully inflammatory because motherf*ckers have lost site of right and long. Trump hasn’t divided this country, he’s exposed it. He’s shown us what we really think of each other and that genie ain’t going back in the bottle anytime soon.

If we really wanted to have this discussion honestly, on that should be held because there’s weaponized rhetoric being slung about by both ides, then Pablo Hildalgo should have been the comparison here. He should have been fired for the way she attacked the fans after they expressed their adulation for Luke’s return on Mando. That sh*t feels like a properly fireable offense as opposed to this sh*t with Pascal. Hell, that stuff with the writer everyone seems to be so upset about, that nonsense about her being racist against White people? Yeah, that’s dumb, too. That chick is Black as f*ck. We, as a people, have a very sus view of who White folks are as a collective. Individuals can be butt-hurt about it all they want, but Black people have legitimate beef with Wypipo and the institutions they have built into this country to marginalize us, get us back to as close as chattel as they legally can. It’s not like racism and bigotry is over because MLK, as much as these disingenuous lily White assholes and Fox News talking heads, like to pretend that it is. Case in point, the Brown kids in f*cking cages! How the f*ck is that not racially motivated? Or, how about when we, as Black folks, were out fighting for our right to just f*cking live, the ex-President got on Twatter and said “When the looting starts, the shooting starts” but when his people, them White people, looted the Capital, he got on television and said they were very special, that he loved them? Seems like a racial component there to me.

Gina Carano said some stupid f*cking sh*t and her platform was rightfully removed. It wasn’t removed for the reasons Lucasfilm actually said but that was more because Kathleen Kennedy is a b*tch and firing was personal to her. However, the comparison she made was wrong. Being Conservative in this age isn’t like being a Jew during the Holocaust, it’s like being a Nazi right now. See, we punch Nazis in the mouth, now. We did back then, too. There was a war. They lost. Just like the MAGA cultists are losing. No one is persecuting you because you have Conservative views. No one is attacking you because you’re Christian. No one gives a f*ck that you favor deregulation and an unfettered free market, even though we are watching why that sh*t is a real bad idea in Texas right now. No one cares that everything you believe, stems from fickle ass emotion rather than hard data and proper science. I mean, i am, but i meant as a whole. Conservatives are dumb but i digress. As a whole, no one on the Left is coming at you for those views. This isn't a double standard or a some heinous plot by a shady cabal of cannibalistic, pedophile, Satan worshiping, Lizard people to silent the righteous supporters of the Reincarnated Ronald Reagan or whatever. No, we’re coming at you because, over the last four goddamn years, you motherf*ckers have lost sight of, not only them values you arrogantly espouse so much, but your goddamn humanity to boot. You dicks have used your platform to push dangerous and false narratives like f*cking Space Jew Lasers setting fire to California or that the vote was rigged when it most certainly was not. That last tidbit was taken to court sixty-plus times and those cases were lost sixty-plus times, none of which argued fraud because there was no fraud to begin with. You are getting deplatformed by the adults in the room, consistently, unapologetically, because you can’t be trusted to not say some dumb , dangerous, hurtful sh*t. Sh*t like saying you’re being persecuted in the same way that a Jew was during the Holocaust because you support Orange Hitler.

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kurgarru · 5 years

Text

But why is it St James’ Park that Crowley and Aziraphale use for their extremely incognito rendezvous point, for centuries?

We know Crowley’s particular brand of evil is niggling annoyance, and he particularly enjoys getting humans to screw with themselves. Please feast your eyes on the notoriously pornographic poem “A Ramble in St James’ Park”, composed (probably in the early 1670s) by one of the most infamously provocative men of history, that chaotic bisexual human gadfly John Wilmot, the 2nd Earl of Rochester:

“Much wine had passed, with grave discourse

Of who fucks who, and who does worse

(Such as you usually do hear

From those that diet at the Bear),

When I, who still take care to see

Drunkenness relieved by lechery,

Weent out into St. James's Park

To cool my head and fire my heart.

But though St. James has th' honor on 't,

'Tis consecrate to prick and cunt.

There, by a most incestuous birth,

Strange woods spring from the teeming earth;

For they relate how heretofore,

When ancient Pict behan to whore,

Deluded of his assignation

(Jilting, it seems, was then in fashion),

Poor pensive lover, in this place

Would frig upon his mother's face;

Whence rows of mandrakes tall did rise

Whose lewd tops fucked the very skies.

Each imitative branch does twine

In some loved fold of Aretine,

And nightly now beneath their shade

Are buggeries, rapes, and incests made.

Unto this all-sin-sheltering grove

Whores of the bulk and the alcove,

Great ladies, chambermaids, and drudges,

The ragpicker, and heiress trudges.

Carmen, divines, great lords, and tailors,

Prentices, poets, pimps, and jailers,

Footmen, fine fops do here arrive,

And here promiscuously they swive.

Along these hallowed walks it was

That I beheld Corinna pass.

Whoever had been by to see

The proud disdain she cast on me

Through charming eyes, he would have swore

She dropped from heaven that very hour,

Forsaking the divine abode

In scorn of some despairing god.

But mark what creatures women are:

How infinitely vile, when fair!

Three knights o' the' elbow and the slur

With wriggling tails made up to her.

The first was of your Whitehall baldes,

Near kin t' th' Mother of the Maids;

Graced by whose favor he was able

To bring a friend t' th' Waiters' table,

Where he had heard Sir Edward Sutton

Say how the King loved Banstead mutton;

Since when he'd ne'er be brought to eat

By 's good will any other meat.

In this, as well as allthe rest,

He ventures to do like the best,

But wanting common sense, th' ingredient

In choosing well not least expedient,

Converts abortive imitation

To universal affectation.

Thus he not only eats and talks

But feels and smells, sits down and walks,

Nay looks, and lives, and loves by rote,

In an old tawdry birthday coat.

The second was a Grays Inn wit,

A great inhabiter of the pit,

Where critic-like he sits and squints,

Steals pocket handkerchiefs, and hints

From 's neighbor, and the comedy,

To court, and pay, his landlady.

The third, a lady's eldest son

Within few years of twenty-one

bWho hopes from his propitious fate,

Against he comes to his estate,

By these two worthies to be made

A most accomplished tearing blade.

One, in a strain 'twixt tune and nonsense,

Cries, "Madam, I have loved you long since.

Permit me your fair hand to kiss";

When at her mouth her cunt cries, "Yes!"

In short, without much more ado,

Joyful and pleased, away she flew,

And with these three confounded asses

From park to hackney coach she passes.

So a proud bitch does lead about

Of humble curs the amorous rout,

Who most obsequiously do hunt

The savory scent of salt-swoln cunt.

Some power more patient now relate

The sense of this surprising fate.

Gods! that a thing admired by me

Should fall to so much infamy.

Had she picked out, to rub her arse on,

Some stiff-pricked clown or well-hung parson,

Each job of whose spermatic sluice

Had filled her cunt with wholesome juice,

I the proceeding should have praised

In hope sh' had quenched a fire I raised.

Such natural freedoms are but just:

There's something generous in mere lust.

But to turn a damned abandoned jade

When neither head nor tail persuade;

To be a whore in understanding,

A passive pot for fools to spend in!

The devil played booty, sure, with thee

To bring a blot on infamy.

But why am I, of all mankind,

To so severe a fate designed?

Ungrateful! Why this treachery

To humble fond, believing me,

Who gave you privilege above

The nice allowances of love?

Did ever I refuse to bear

The meanest part your lust could spare?

When your lewd cunt came spewing home

Drenched with the seed of half the town,

My dram of sperm was supped up after

For the digestive surfeit water.

Full gorged at another time

With a vast meal of slime

Which your devouring cunt had drawn

From porters' backs and footmen's brawn,

I was content to serve you up

My ballock-full for your grace cup,

Nor ever thought it an abuse

While you had pleasure for excuse -

You tht could make my heart away

For noise and color, and betray

The secrets of my tender hours

To such knight-errant paramours,

When, leaning on your faithless breast,

Wrapped in security and rest,

Soft kindness all my powers did move,

And reason lay dissolved in love!

brkMay stinking vapors choke your womb

Such as the men you dote upon

May your depraved appetite,

That could in whiffling fools delight,

Beget such frenzies in your mind

You may go mad for the north wind,

And fixing all your hopes upon't

To have him bluster in your cunt,

Turn up your longing arse t' th' air

And perish in a wild despair!

But cowards shall forget to rant,

Schoolboys to frig, old whores to paint;

The Jesuits' fraternity

Shall leave the use of buggery;

Crab-louse, inspired with grace divine,

From earthly cod to heaven shall climb;

Physicians shall believe in Jesus,

And disobedience cease to please us,

Ere I desist with all my power

To plague this woman and undo her.

But my revenge will best be timed

When she is married that is limed.

In that most lamentable state

I'll make her feel my scorn and hate:

Pelt her with scandals, truth or lies,

And her poor cur with jealousied,

Till I have torn him from her breech,

While she whines like a dog-drawn bitch;

Loathed and despised, kicked out o' th' Town

Into some dirty hole alone,

To chew the cud of misery

And know she owes it all to me.

And may no woman better thrive

That dares prophane the cunt I swive!”

Headcanon: Crowley takes Aziraphale to St James’ Park in the way a person might hopefully take a date to an arthouse film they’d heard was exceptionally horny but plausibly deniable.

#crowley x aziraphale #ineffable husbands #my badness aziraphale but what ARE those humans doing in the bushes?#cn: rape #cn: incest

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luxettenebra · 7 years

Text

...why do I have a whole list of Latin swearing. Got no idea where it all come from, but oh well, here’s the entire list I have if you’re curious:

“faex” - shit “cane” - bitch (this is actually referring to a dog, however, and not the female derogatory) “deodamnatus” - dammit “cunne” - cunt “filius canis” - son of a bitch (literally ‘son of a dog’) “fututus et mori in igni” - fuck off and die in a fire “futuere” - get fucked “futue te ipsi” - fuck you “irrumabo” - dick “trude id sursum tui cunni, faexcaput” - shove it up your cunt, shithead. “ede faecam” - eat shit “suge meum penem, cunne” - suck my dick, cunt “morde meum globes” - bite my balls “Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo” - i’ll fuck you up the ass and make you blow me (OR ’ I will sodomize you and face-fuck you’. this is from a poem called Catullus 16, the filthiest latin poems you can find) “Te futueo et caballum tuum” - Screw you and the horse you rode in on “Irrumator” - Bastard “Leno” - Pimp “Flocci non faccio” - I don’t give a damn “Mihi irruma et te pedicabo” - Give me head and I’ll ass fuck you “Mentula” - Penis “Meretrix” - Prostitute “Bovis stercus” - Bull shit “Es stultior asino” - You are dumber than an ass “Es scortum obscenus vilis” - You are a vile, perverted whore “Es mundus excrementi” - You are a pile of shit “Bibe semen meum” - Swallow my cum “Bibe semen meum e baculo” - Swallow my cum from a cup “Globos meos lambe!” - Lick my balls “Es stercus!” You shit! “Moecha Putida” - Dirty slut “Podex perfectus es” - You’re a complete asshole “Futue te ipsum!” - Go fuck yourself! “Stercorem pro cerebro habes” - You have shit for brains “Caput tuum in ano est” - You have your head up your ass “Perite” - Fuck off! “Impudens es leno” - You shameless pimp “Vacca stulta” - You stupid cow “Vescere bracis meis” - Eat my shorts “Tu scronium es” - You are a whore “Caput stercoris” - shithead (lit. head of shit) “Mentulam Caco” - I shit on your prick “Obesus porcus” - Fat pig “Cupio te meam mentulam sugare” - I want you to suck my dick “Matris futuor” - Mother fucker “Te odeo, interfice te cochleare” - I hate you. Kill yourself with a spoon. “Matris Prolapsus” - Bitch (??) “Stercus accidit” - Shit happens “Potes meos suaviari clunes” - You can kiss my ass. “Quando podeces te regi eorum fecerunt?” - When did the assholes make you their king? “Lupa” - Slut “Cacator” - Shitter “Plenus stercoris es” You are full of shit “Derideo te!” - I laugh at you! “Estne volumen in toga, an solum tibi libet me videre?” - Is that a scroll in your toga, or are you just happy to see me? “Fabriacate diem, punk” - Make my day, punk “Id imperfectum manet dum confectum erit” - It isn’t over until it’s over “Morologus es!” - You’re talking like a moron! “Puto vos esse molestissimos” - I think that you are very annoying “Qualem blennum!” - What a doofus! “Qualem muleirculam!” - What a bimbo! “Quisque comoedus est” - Everybody’s a comedian “Radix lecti” - Couch potato “Raptus regaliter” - Royally screwed “Recedite, plebes! Gero rem imperialem!” - Stand aside plebeians! I am on imperial business “Stultus est sicut stultus facit” - Stupid is as stupid does “Tace atque abi” - Shut up and go away “Utinam barbari spatium proprium tuum invadant “ - May barbarians invade your personal space “Utinam coniurati te in foro interficiant” - May conspirators assassinate you in the mall “Utinam logica falsa tuam philosophiam totam suffodiant” - May faulty logic undermine your entire philosophy “Vacca foeda” - Dirty cow “Vae!” - Damn! “Viri sunt Viri” - Men are slime “Immanissimum ac foedissimum monstrum! ” - Gross and putrid monster! “Faciem durum cacantis habes” - You have the face of a man with severe constipation “Mala pituita nasi” - Nasty nasal drippings! “Si me rogas, potes abire et tu ipse cacare.” - If you ask me, you can go and shit on yourself. “Commodum habitus es” - You have just been owned “Canis matrem tuam subagiget” - Dog has desecrated your mother “Hic erit in lecto fortissimus” - He is Hercules in the sack “Asinus Stultissimus” - Dumbass (lit. “Very stupid donkey”) “Caput tuum in ano est” - Your head is in your ass “Tuam matrem feci” - I did your mother “A tergo” - In the ass “Scio erit in lecto fortissimus” - I am Hercules in the sack. Just bear in mind that the overwhelming majority are NOT ROMAN-ERA PHRASES, but rather the literal translations of distinctly modern phrases by modern Latin students (the obvious exception being the Catullus line, gods but I love Catullus) and some of the actual Roman-era words/phrases are given somewhat inaccurate translations (eg, lupa literally means “she-wolf” but in slang it meant “female prostitute” — which it does in modern Italian, I’ve learned the hard way; perite means “go to Hell” which is a bit tonally different from “fuck off”; and irrumabo is a future-tense VERB, not a noun!!!). The grammar is a little stiff in places too, but hey. The Romans had some really damned dirty turns of phrase all their own. IMO theirs are often a lot more interesting. If you’re writing snappy comebacks from nerdy students (*cough*) these’ll do great. If you’re writing invectives that’re supposed to be ancient…go find the actual ancient invectives. ;) From Catullus: Line Latin text English translation[14][15][16][17] 1 Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo, I will sodomize you and face-fuck you, 2 Aureli pathice et cinaede Furi, Cock-sucker Aurelius and catamite Furius, 3 qui me ex versiculis meis putastis, You who think, because my verses 4 quod sunt molliculi, parum pudicum. Are delicate, that I am a sissy. 5 Nam castum esse decet pium poetam For it's right for the devoted poet to be chaste 6 ipsum, versiculos nihil necessest(necesse est); Himself, but it's not necessary for his verses to be so. 7 qui tum denique habent salem ac leporem, Verses which then have taste and charm, 8 si sunt molliculi ac parum pudici If they are delicate and sexy, 9 et quod pruriat incitare possunt, And can incite an itch, 10 non dico pueris, sed his pilosis And I don't mean in boys, but in those hairy old men 11 qui duros nequeunt movere lumbos. Who can't get their flaccid dicks up. 12 Vos, quod milia multa basiorum You, because you have read of my thousand kisses, 13 legistis, male me marem putatis? You think I'm a sissy? 14 Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo. I will sodomize you and face-fuck you. Sexual terminology Latin is an exact language for obscene acts, such as pedicabo and irrumabo, which appear in the first and last lines of the poem. The term pedicare is a transitive verb, meaning to "insert one's penis into another person's anus",[18] and derives from an analogous Greek word, ???????, itself derived ultimately from the Greek word ????, ?????? (child). The term cinaede in line 2 refers to the "bottom" person in that act, i.e., the one being penetrated.[19] The term irrumare is likewise a transitive verb, meaning to "insert one's penis into another person's mouth for suckling",[20] and derives from the Latin word, ruma meaning "teat". A male who suckles a penis is denoted as a fellator or, equivalently, a pathicus (line 2).[21] Thus, there is an elegant poetic chiasm (a "criss-cross" rhetorical structure) in the first two lines. Each line has two obscenities; the first of the first line, pedicabo, matches the second of the second line, cinaede, whereas the second of the first line, irrumabo, matches the first of the second line, pathice. The central pun of the poem occurs in line 4 with quod sunt molliculi, parum pudicum. The word molliculi refers to Catullus' verses and means "soft and tender little verses", as in love poetry. However, mollis can also mean "effeminate fellator", as well as "soft" in the sense of "flaccid penis". Likewise, parum pudicum refers to Catullus, and can mean "wanton" or "fellator". Thus, in explicit modern English, the pun suggests that "just because my verses are little and soft, doesn't mean that I'm the same, that I'm some hussy cock-sucker who can't get it up". This may be translated more delicately with the analogous English pun, "that I've gone all soft". The rest of the poem plays upon that pun. On the contrary, says Catullus, although my verses are soft (molliculi ac parum pudici in line 8, reversing the play on words), they can arouse even limp old men. Should Furius and Aurelius have any remaining doubts about Catullus' virility, he offers to fuck them anally and orally to prove otherwise. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Latin_profanity http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Curse_tablet Mater tua tam obesa est ut cum Romae est urbs habet octo colles Your mama is so fat when she goes to Rome it has 8 hills! Futue te ipsum. Go F--- yourself Mande merdam et morere. Eat sh-- and die Velim caput tuum devellere deinde in confinium gulae cacare I'm gonna rip off you head and crap down your neck. Te fututo, gaudeo You having been f---d, I rejoice. (ablative absolute! Amaze your Latin teacher!) Sentite aciem acrem ensis mortiferi, o larvae putidae, o bustirapi nefandi! Feel the keen edge if the sword of doom, no-good stinking corpse-eating tomb-ghouls! Caput capitis = dick head. Cacator = shitter Hope that helps !! M.VIB.M. Usefull if you have a friend that knows latin and thinks he is a super cool because of it. Latin Swearing Futue te ipsum et caballum tuum screw you and the horse you rode in on Tu plenus sterco es You are full of shit (lit. you are packed with shit) Antiquis temporibus, nati tibi similes in rupibus ventosissimis exponebantur ad necem In the good old days, children like you were left to perish on windswept crags. Apudne te vel me? Your place or mine? Caesar si viveret, ad remum dareris If Caesar were alive, you'd be chained to an oar. Cepe indicum Take a hint Derideo te! I laugh at you! Estne volumen in toga, an solum tibi libet me videre? Is that a scroll in your toga, or are you just happy to see me? Fabriacate diem, punk Make (my) day, punk Fac ut vivas Get a life Apudne te vel me? Your place or mine? Hocine bibo aut in eum digitos insero? Do I drink this or stick my fingers in it? Obesa cantavit The fat lady has sung Id imperfectum manet dum confectum erit It isn't over until it's over Illegitimi non carborundum Don't let the bastards burn you Labra lege Read my lips Lege atque lacrima Read 'em and weep Morologus es! You're talking like a moron! Noli me vocare, ego te vocabo Don't call me, I'll call you. Noli nothis permittere te terere Don’t let the bastards get you down. Nullo modo No way Puto vos esse molestissimos I think that you are very annoying Qualem blennum! What a doofus! Qualem muleirculam! What a bimbo! Quisque comoedus est Everybody's a comedian Quo usque tandem abutere patentia nostra? How long are you going to abuse our patience? Quomodo cogis comas tuas sic videri? How do you get your hair to do that? Radix lecti Couch potato Raptus regaliter Royally screwed Recedite, plebes! Gero rem imperialem! Stand aside plebeians! I am on imperial business Scio vos esse molestissimos I know that you are very troublesome Stultus est sicut stultus facit Stupid is as stupid does Tace atque abi Shut up and go away Ut si! As if! Utinam barbari spatium proprium tuum invadant May barbarians invade your personal space Utinam coniurati te in foro interficiant May conspirators assassinate you in the mall Utinam logica falsa tuam philosophiam totam suffodiant May faulty logic undermine your entire philosophy Vacca foeda Stupid cow Vae! Damn! Viri sunt Viri Men are slime Immanissimum ac foedissimum monstrum! Gross and putrid monster! Faciem durum cacantis habes You have the face of a man with severe constipation Mala pituita nasi Nasty nasal drippings! Recedite, plebes! Gero rem imperialem. Stand aside plebeians! I am on imperial business. Si me rogas, potes abire et tu ipse cacare. If you ask me, you can go and shit on yourself. Semper in excrementum, sole profundum qui variat. Always in the shit, just the depth that varies.

#probably not gonna tag this

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veronicarwells · 7 years

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Why We’re Team Keke Palmer In This Trey Songz Beef

This weekend, while women across the country and the world marched for equal rights, Keke Palmer found herself dealing with a man who simply couldn’t take no for an answer, singer Trey Songz to be specific.

Before we go any further, I should be very clear that it wasn’t a rape type situation but it was a case of a woman being exploited despite her explicit instruction. Basically, Keke Palmer was at Trey Songz’s house in Miami for a party when he started shooting scenes for the video for his song, “Pick Up the Phone.” Trey and his people asked Keke several times if she would star in it. And she declined several times. Instead of honoring her request not to be featured, it wasn’t long before a tweet revealed that she was, in fact, in the video.

Keke explained.

Keke released a video explaining exactly what happened at the party, how the situation became extremely uncomfortable and why she felt the need to hide in the first place.

A video posted by Laurennnn Palmer (@kekepalmer) on Jan 21, 2017 at 5:57pm PST

A video posted by Laurennnn Palmer (@kekepalmer) on Jan 21, 2017 at 6:26pm PST

As you might assume, it wasn’t long before Trey responded. Earlier in the day, after he celebrated the Queens marching for women’s equality, he responded to Keke’s claims.

Then for show, he tweeted a gif of Michelle Obama as if our former first lady would cosign this sh*t.

I’ll admit that I’m one of those women who is inclined to give women the benefit of the doubt, to believe her word when there isn’t clear evidence for either side. But in this instance, it’s pretty much a no-brainer. If Trey had Keke’s permission to put her in the video, he simply would have tweeted that. But he didn’t. Instead, he logged onto Twitter to say he don’t do Twitter sh*t. If he was going to break his habits and traditions, what he should have done was uploaded some receipts, i.e. a release form with her signature on it saying she agreed to be in the video. Saying she was sitting around “saw the camera and the lights, heard action” is not consent for her image to be used. And I’m sure being that she’s known Trey for so long, she didn’t think that he would violate her in this way after she specifically and repeatedly told him she didn’t want to be in the video.

If you listen to the lyrics of the song for which the video was shot, you might understand why Keke had a problem with it.

[Verse 1: MIKExANGEL] Yeah, I met that bitch at a party I swear that liquor got it started Bit tits like Dolly Excuse me, beg your pardon Yeah, I do this shit often Stone Cold like Austin What this life style costin’ And these bitches wanna see me Swear this drippin’ ain’t easy Now she sayin’ that she need me I palm her pussy like Keke Like Keke, like Keke She know I’m go act the fool with it Tell me she gon’ let my bros hit it Throwin’ that pussy, I go get it Go get it

For as much as people want to say they’re disgusted by Donald Trump and his comments about women, he’s not the only one. Perhaps this is why so many voters didn’t find his “grab her by the pussy” a disqualification of him holding the highest office in the land. Because, hell, so many men talk like that. This past weekend there were hundred of thousands of women protesting against Trump and his comments, among other things. These are the same women Trey claimed to support. Still, he lent his voice to a song like this. And wanted to force Keke Palmer to be a part of it when it was her name that was being referenced, her reputation that was on the line.

I’ve heard what people have to say about Keke Palmer these days. They have a problem with the way she dresses, the way she speaks, the way she dances, the music she releases, her extra-ness. But the point is, these are all choices she’s clearly and comfortably made for herself. And at the very end of the day, the girl has business acumen. She knew not to make a decision that could affect her brand, her image, her career at a damn house party when she’s been drinking. And just because folks see her as “wild” and attention-seeking, it doesn’t give Trey Songz or anyone else the right to dictate how they want to use her image for their commercial gain. It’s vile and a complete dismissal and disregard for her autonomy and voice as a woman.

To that point, here’s a bit of advice for you ladies out there. Beware of these Black men who will call you Queens one minute and then flip the script when you don’t do what they want. I’m not a queen to you if you don’t want me to use my voice. I’m not a queen if you try to trick or manipulate me into doing something I repeatedly told you I don’t want to do. I’m not a queen to you if you try to make money off my face, my body, my image but don’t respect my mind. It’s just that simple.

Quite a few people asked why didn’t Keke just leave the house. In the videos above she explained that her Uber was going to take too long to get there and so she felt her best course of action was to hide in a closet. Trey found her in there and assured her that if she didn’t feel comfortable, she wouldn’t be filmed. And yet, the video was released. (It’s since been removed.) What type of decency is that? Forget the man, woman, misoygnoir-ness of this whole situation, at the end of the day, according to Keke, dude is just not a man of his word. You told her one thing when you had every intention of doing the complete opposite.

And after he disrespected Keke as a woman, as a “friend,” and as a person, he wants her to be mature and handle the situation in private. You’ve got to be kidding me! They were in private when she told him she didn’t want to be in the video. They were in private when she called a Uber to get out of his house. They were in private when she hid in a closet to avoid what he ended up doing to her anyway. And now that she’s been publicly associated with a song that talks about grabbing her pussy, he wants her to call him out on your shenanigans behind closed doors. For what?! Apparently, Trey couldn’t hear Keke when she was speaking to him privately. If he had, she wouldn’t have been in the video. So it only makes sense that since the video was released publicly, she address him publicly and make him answer to the public for this violation. And aside from “she heard action,” he hasn’t been able to. The fact that the video has been removed from the internet speaks volumes. Warner Bros. probably didn’t do all of this talking, trying to get both sides of the story. They likely don’t give a damn about women’s rights. I would bet money that what they did do was ask Trey and his people for the release that contained Keke’s signature. And when they couldn’t produce it, they snatched that sh*t down. Because they don’t want these type of problems for a mediocre song, not a weekend after the women’s march. Not for a song that basically quotes our controversial new president. Hell nah.

Besides the misogyny, besides being an indecent person in this moment, Trey Songz just wasn’t smart about all of this. He’s been in the industry too long to think this was going to fly. Or perhaps he’s so accustomed to pulling stunts like this, to manipulating and tricking women into doing things they don’t want to, that he thought Keke would just take it. But he thought wrong. This is not the time, that was not the place and Keke is clearly not the one.

Veronica Wells is the culture editor at MadameNoire.com. She is also the author of “Bettah Days.” You can follow her on Facebook and Twitter @VDubShrug.

#keke palmer #trey songz #misogyny #misogynoir

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trickstersantana · 7 years

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Para: You're so vile, in denial, and I know just what to do

Who: Santana, Puck,Quinn, Spencer (and whoever wanted to be on the fight and came to see it, even if they weren’t at the chatzy they can say they were watching!!) Location: Undique Stadium Time: 11th January 2017 (after classes and before MM) Summary: The New Age Slayer and the Trickster finally fight one on one. Triggers/Notes: Violence, snake mentions

Santana arrived at Undique as she said she would. All prepared for the most important battle of this month. Beating the others was cool, but the idea of humilliating Puck was priceless. She really hoped she success on this, of course. Backpack ready, cookies ready. She entered to see if the slayer was already there.

Puck walked into the stadium at the stated hour, a can of soda in one hand, his Grimoire on the other. He smirked as he saw the trickster and walked up to her. Puck wasn't nervous at all; this was supposed to be a piece of cake for him. Still, he knew if he let the trickster win over him, his rep would definitely suffer a big blow. Yet, that only made him want to win this even more. His stance oozed confidence as he towered in front of her; "Santana," he greeted. "Always a pleasure to see you..." he said, irony dripping from his tone

Santana was surprised he called her by her name, but she wasn't going to show it. "Noah" she returned. His name was Noah rigth? She should had called him by the wrong name god damn it. Wasted opportunity. She smiled though inside she was thinking Well that's it I already showed him I know his name this is basically a lost battle . Thank God she was good at pretending to be in control. She cracked her knuckles. "Always a pleasure to see me. I agree." She just answered looking directly to his eyes. She won every battle, this one was just one more for the list. "Are you ready to be a complete and crushing dissapointed to everyone when you lose?"

Puck glared at her. "It's Puck," he corrected with a stern voice. He didn't know where she found out that name, but he didn't like it. However, he snorted sarcastically with her words. "That's funny, 'cause I was about to ask you the same thing." He put his soda can in the ground and put his grimoire on his pocket, then cracked his knuckles and his neck. "Let's get it over with. I don't have much time, I got homework to get back to."

Santana smiled, this time for real. Ok chill Santana, he was bothered by it, in the end it was a good move, you got this. Success. She was about to reply 'jokes on you I can't dissapoint anyone because they have 0 expectations on me' but she wasn't that big of an idiot and just keep her mouth shout and smiled more. "Then let's begin"

Santana rolled a die. The die showed: 1

Puck rolled a die with 7 sides. The die showed: 1

Santana started with a simple blue fire illusion around Puck. God Damn it stupid trickster you are ALREADY FUCKING IT UP WHY DIDN'T YOU THINK SOMETHING BETTER. Outside she was smiling like she was in control, but she was screaming inside, and she would be like that the whole battle probably.

Puck positioned himself in the arena, feet set on the ground and rubbed his hands, his magic circle glowing. He would start with something simple, just a few fire bullets that aimed at the trickster and make her move a little; he didn't want her to think this was gonna be easy on her. "Bullet shower!" he said in Hebrew, and the bullets were fired towards the trickster.

Santana dodged the bullets. Guns and fire weapons was somehow slightly familiar. She keep her illusion going.

Santana rolled a die. The die showed: 5

Puck was reached by Santana's blue fire in the shoulder, making him wince and curl his hands into fists. She had already done all the damage he was gonna let her do. "Aw, dammit, you ruined my shirt," he growled. "You're gonna pay for that."

Puck rolled a die with 7 sides. The die showed: 4

Santana smiled. OHMYFUCKINGGODICANTBELIEVEITWORKED. She keep moving just in case and was kind of annoyed at Puck probably making fun of her fake fire illusion not being able to burn shirts for real. But it as ok she always coult burn shirts with a lighter. She added to her fire illusion fire spears coming from the ground to go against Puck.

Puck the spears got his leg, making him even more mad than before. His fire bullets had not worked, so he decided to go a bit bigger. "Circle of fire" he shouted out as he tried to trap Santana in a ring of his element

Santana rolled a die. The die showed: 2

Puck rolled a die with 7 sides. The die showed: 3

Santana make a quick smoke illusion in front of Puck eyes to make him harder to look where she was and quickly run away from the REAL FIRE.

Santana rolled a die. The die showed: 1

Puck rolled a die with 7 sides. The die showed: 2

Puck was hit in the face by Santana's illusion and had to move. His vision got blurry with his own tears. He tried his enchantment again as he saw her through the smoke moving away

Santana rolled a die. The die showed: 5

Puck rolled a die with 7 sides. The die showed: 7

Santana vanished her current illusions to make it look like the ground around Puck was cracking and about to break.

Santana rolled a die. The die showed: 4

Puck rolled a die with 7 sides. The die showed: 4

Puck watched the blue fire disappear and felt like the earth benath him was shaking, but knew he was not in danger yet. With glossy eyes still, he aimed at her general direction. "Fire canon ball!" he called out as it formed before his hand, his magic circle glowing and turning around his wrist

Santana tried to dodge the next fire ball but it hit her shoulder. WELL THAT'S IT I'M GOING TO DIE NOW . She though while keeping running circling Puck and making some illusory explosions around him.

Santana rolled a die. The die showed: 2

Puck rolled a die with 7 sides. The die showed: 5

Puck lost his balance due to the earth shaking, falling to the side. However, he rolled on the ground and, in the motion, took out his shoe, transforming it into a bow in his hand and aimed at her leg as he used his magic to create an arrow, "Fire arrow, aim to hurt!"

Puck rolled a die. The die showed: 1

Santana rolled a die. The die showed: 1

Santana fucKING HATED ARROWS SO MUCH. SPECIALLY IF THEY WERE MADE OF FIRE. It hit her leg and fucking shit it this sucked so much. She made anothe smoke illusion around Puck because if she couldn't dodge faster is what best to make him aim worse.

Puck was hit by that damn smoke in the face again, blurring his vision and making him cough. "Fire arrow!" he tried again, but couldn't see anything as he fired.

Puck rolled a die with 7 sides. The die showed: 3

Santana rolled a die. The die showed: 1

Santana rolled a die. The die showed: 4

Puck rolled a die with 7 sides. The die showed: 1

Santana didn't get hit by the arrow, but the fire did almost burn part of her t-shirt. God damn it she loved fire but not when it was burning her. She made the smoke around Puck bigger and created a little illusory thunder storm, with annoying flashy lights and noise. If it worked on Madison it could work on Puck

Puck was unable to see anything as everything around him went black, except for the effect of the thunderstorm Santana added with so much precision it took him back to that FS when they were on the clouds. Puck couldn't do nothing but fire aimlessly. "Fire of the great, protect me!" he said as he pressed his hand to the ground, some threads of fire spreading in every direction.

Puck rolled a die with 7 sides. The die showed: 3

Santana rolled a die. The die showed: 2

Santana rolled a die. The die showed: 3

Puck rolled a die with 7 sides. The die showed: 6

Santana didn't had to dodge much because Puck was aiming at random. She started to laugh until a fireball hitted her. "Fuck" she whispered.

Santana rolled a die. The die showed: 1

Puck rolled a die with 7 sides. The die showed: 3

Quinn is certainly not in the stands somewhere silently rooting for Puck,

Puck could hear Santana laughing through the storm, which only made him more mad that he already was. He could break all of her illusions with something he had bought in the black market, but dind't want to blow up the Undique Stadium and have to pay for it. Instead, he turned to the all watching eye that was always following him and had become more amicable with time. "I need a location," he told it, and the eye pointed to the trickster with discretion. "Thanks," he said with a simple smirk as he sent another fireball Santana's way. "Fire, stop her!"

Santana rolled a die. The die showed: 2

Puck rolled a die with 7 sides. The die showed: 1

Santana got hit again and just made her thunder illusion around Puck way louder and flashy and more and more annoying.

Puck was unable to hear anything from the thunder Santana had created. One of the lightnings hit him on the back and made him fall on all fours. (OOC MENTION OF SNAKES?? IDK) "Snakes of fire, find my enemy!" he called out as he created fire reptiles to go after Santana for him.

Santana rolled a die. The die showed: 4

Puck rolled a die with 7 sides. The die showed: 1

Santana freaked out a little about the fire snakes coming to her. HOW DID PUCK EVEN KNOW SHE WAS AFRAID OF THEM? She run as fast as she could to dodge them and just made more chaos and more noise around Puck in the heat of the moment.

Spencer was working out nearby, but decided to sit down and catch the duel between Santana and Puck. So far it proved to be interesting....He would make sure to congratulate the winner, and poke fun at the loser. He watched, while munching on some granola.

Puck shrinked as the storm grew, unable to see even his feet. Another lighting hit him, making him fall. "Alright!" He called out as he coughed from the ground. "Alright, I'm done!" he screamed in rage. "I can't fight like this, trickster! You win this time!"

Santana didn't hear what happened for a moment, and then she vanished the illusion just to see Puck. If this was a fake surrender trick she had totally fall for it. But she just looked at him. Surrendering. "Joder..." she keep looking at him, not really believing what happened. "Oh my, my" she started laughing THOUGH SHE STILL DIDN'T BELIEVE IT. "I hope you can send me a recorder of you surrendering from your little camera!" She just couldn't stop smiling SHE BEAT PUCK.

Puck stood up from the ground as soon as the illusion washed off, glaring at Santana as he walked up to her. "You can ask for it in the security office," he said. Then, he put a hand on the air for her to shake. "Good fight, Santana", he said through gritted teeth.

Santana looked at his hand, trying to be civil. For a little second she though of actually shaking it, but then she remembered she passed 4 hell days in her animal form for his fault so fuck him. She put her hands in her hips and just nodded and smiled at him. "I don't know if I call it good, honestly, Madison did it better" She just let him hanging and keep smiling at him

Puck let his hand fall and smirked. "You're lucky we're not in the real world, I wasn't really trying that hard," he shrugged. "Still, this isn't over." Puck looked back at her, his smile growing. "I want a rematch."

Santana giggled "Is that what you say everytime you lose?" Something inside her was saying 'Please stop don't mock him or he will get us again' but she didn't listen. "My my, and you expected to be the next leader of the Slayers for your 'skills'" She did the quotation marks and make it sound like a really ridiculous word. Santana pLEASE STOP YOU ARE GOING TO GET MURDERED SOMEDAY FOR DOIGN STUPID SHIT LIKE THIS. "If you really want to lost so miserably again, of course!" But first she had to go and heal herself cause she was really pretending nothing hurt but also NOTHING HURT SHE BEAT PUCK. "But now I must do more important things" She said with a smile while going away.She took a time for making a selfie of her and Puck in the background while she was at it.

Puck rolled his eyes at her and shrugged. "It's not like I can fight freely inside these walls, y'know," he pointed out, smile never leaving his lips even when he felt his blood boiling. She always knew what to say to get to his nerves. But the eye was watching. He needed to be civil. "Oh, sorry to see you're chickening out already, but, yeah; I got homework anyways," he said. As he saw her taking a selfie, he put bunny ears on her

#apuckcalypse #spencerportagram #wingedfabray #para: puck #chara: puck #para: spencer #para: quinn #chara: quinn #chara: spencer

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