#but getting a break from all the shit thats happened this past month the month before that and most of the entirety of last year does sound

[eilishsluv]

could u write a fanfic maybe a angst to fluff? perhaps billie stops giving attention and reader overthinks which leads to angst then fluff. hope ur well:)

sure anon! i hope this is how you wanted<3

attention

billie eilish x fem!reader

summary: billie had stopped giving you the attention she used to which lead to you overthinking & so an argument

warnings: arguing, hickies, kissing & unedited

notes: this was fun to write, enjoy reading:)

billie was an extremely busy person, she had been ever since she stepped foot into the famous business. but these past few weeks you've been feeling extremely neglected by her, its happened before but never for this long. usually only afew days but its almost been 2 months. this had made your thoughts sprial.

overthinking was a bad habit of yours but how could you not especially right now? her flirty comments with other famous people, fans & just anyone. you loved billie & so did she, but now you definitely doubted it.

you both laid in her bed, your head on her chest & usually she'd avoid her phone, or atleast her hands somewhere on you, but no, not today. billie had both her hands on her phone, with her arms on either side of you, barely brushing against you as she typed.

you were done, the jealousy, overthinking & worry got to you. you managed to move away from billie & off the bed.

"whats wrong baby?" billie questioned watching you look around the room.

you ignored her completely, although hearing her voice & petname hurt your heart terribly. scurrying around her room finding your clothes & some of your belongings, billies brain started to tik realising you were leaving.

"woah woah woah, y/n what are you doing?" billie started to move off the bed to stand with you. this made your blood boil.

"oh so you can flirt with other people, ignore me completely, make me feel like shit but you expect me to stay & deal with all of it?" as you talked your voice got louder & louder, you were pissed.

the distress was visible in her face, you stared at her waiting on a response.

"y/n what are you on about?" billie was on the verge of tears, you on the other hand had hot tears streaming down your cheeks already.

"you think i dont see everything you do billie?! for fucks sake, i mean really? really. every single comment you make on another person breaks me apart cause i went from hearing them every single second to once a week if im fucking lucky!" your voice broke all throughout that sentence but you had to get that out, but you couldnt scream all you wanted to.

billie slowly stepped towards where you were standing. she was insanely intimidating when she wanted to be, all you did was step further back up until you hit the wall.

she stared deep into your eyes, hers showed a sad although dominant expression.

"is that all you think & feel?" billie looked as if she was joking, you didnt care. she asked for it whether or not she was serious.

you scoffed looking down then back up into her eyes.

"do you seriously think thats all? i mean billie all i fucking want is your attention but you dont even give a single fuck to me anymore. you have done nothing but ignore me for weeks!" screaming that in her face felt therapeutic but also painful.

billie looked speechless, you guys had argued before but never over something like this.

"you think i dont love you?" her sentence hung in the air, your face gave it all away. billie cleared her throat before continuing.

"which other girl is dancing in my house, wearing my clothes, coming with me to events, sleeping in my bed in my arms, cooking me dinner or listening to me make a new album? y/n you are the only girl i want & need, i own up to being distant but i dont want another girl" billies tears started to fall. you wiped them away as she leaned into your touch.

"im sorry baby." you felt like shit for everything you did in the past 10 minutes.

"dont be sorry for my actions & how ive treated you" you both felt bad but only wanted one thing, & that was eachother.

billie leaned down into your neck, leaving kisses & marks. it was one of her ways of saying sorry & that she loves you.

"i love you" you spoke

"i love you mamas" billie answered back.

she was all you wanted & you were all she wanted, she definitely cleaned her act up after that.

#billie eilish x reader #billie eilish #eilishsluv

[dollfaceksj]

YES CONTINUE A POSION PARADISE

YERRRRR lets go

tell me ur thoughts! <3

taste of a poison paradise | jjk (m) #4

masterlist

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it’s jimin’s party today

[a/n: i been obsessed w this outfit so i imagine reader wearing sth like this cause its so cute idc if u dont like it]

you go there by foot bc it’s not that far, like a 10 min walk

your feet in these heels are killing you but it doesn’t matter when you look that good

once you arrive, jimin pulls you in for a hug, thanking you for coming

ur not THATTT close w jimin, ur closer w joon and tae

but ur still on friendly terms w jimin

at least way friendlier than jk

its not awkward between u and jimin and u often talk abt ur love for cats and pop culture

unlike u and jk. u can count the amount of convos u’ve had with that loser on one hand and half of those were this month

jimin leads you to taehyung and unfortunately

jungkook is sitting

right beside tae

jk’s wearing a leather jacket and black jeans. his hair is wavy and there are silver rings decorating his pretty fingers

you haven’t seen them since that evening at tae’s and it’s been 3 days since

tae texted u a couple times but ur replies were pretty short to him

and u feel kinda bad

cause its not taes fault??

but ur stubborn. and stupid

tae hands jungkook his solo cup and jumps up from the couch, lunging straight at you

he hugs you tightly, swaying with you from left to right

“i’m glad you made it! all these people are boring,” taehyung says into your ear, squeezing your frame

you chuckle and pull away, hitting his shoulder

he holds you back by your shoulders. “you look good. you came to break hearts.” he nudges your hip with his

he’s soooo annoying

but the compliment is rising to your head

your relationship w tae is like a brother or cousin

he’ll only tell you you look good if you actually look good

and he’ll tell you if you look like shit

“come, sit with us,” he says as he makes some extra space on the couch. he takes the seat next to jungkook

thats when you remember that jungkook is here.

you pretend you don’t notice him though

and he seems to be doing the same thing

asshole.

you don’t really feel like drinking tonight so you decline tae’s offer of getting you something to drink

you spend the next twenty minutes listening to tipsy taehyung rambling about his call of duty wins

yawn

you get up and tae instantly tugs on your wrist

“where u going?”

you sigh. “bathroom. i’ll be right back.”

he nods and lets go of your wrist, turning to jungkook to continue his uninteresting conversation

you push your way through the sea of sweaty and smelly bodies

there’s a pair making out in front of the bathroom door so you push past them as well and enter the bathroom

you lock the door and take care of your business

you wash your hands and glance at yourself in the mirror, fixing your makeup a bit before turning on your heels and unlocking the door

just as you unlock the door, the door swings open

uhh

you did not do that

like u did not open the door it just swung open on its own.

in that split second you think it’s someone who desperately needs to use the bathroom

but your heart drops straight into your ass when you make eyecontact

with

jeon

jung

fucking

kook

THE FUCKKK

you can’t even understand what’s happening

you can barely react

when jungkook

suddenly

and gently

pushes you back into the bathroom by your waist

his hands are respectfully placed but it still sends a shiver up your spine and down all your limbs

haha

wow

😂😂😂😂

jungkooks hands on your waist for a few seconds

who wouldve thought

he walks in and shuts the door behind him

and you know you’re not going crazy but was that… the click

of

the

door

locking????

did he just? lock the door??

you look up at him, lips parted but not a single word on your tongue for him

he leans against the closed door and shoves his hands into his pockets

you frown at him, confused on why he’s trapping you in the bathroom

“what the hell, dude?” your annoyance is clear in the tone of your voice

cause what the HELL jungkook???

“i couldn’t find any other proper moment to come talk to you,” he says but you can’t bring yourself to believe him when he’s got a shit-eating grin on his lips

you roll your tongue against the inside of your cheek and cross your arms over your chest. “talk?”

what could he possibly want to talk about with you???

“yeah. i said i didn’t like you but i hope you know it was a joke. i’m sorry it didn’t come across that way.”

you drag your eyes slowly down his figure, hoping you look like you’re judging the fuck out of him

but he doesn’t react

in

the

slightest

“is that all?” you ask as you make eye contact with him again.

he stares at you for a moment longer before pushing himself off the door, closing the distance between you two

you automatically take a step back but your bum is already pressed against the sink, leaving you with nowhere to go

fuck

FUCK

why is he getting closer still

he stops right in front of you, tips of his shoes touching yours

body menacingly looming over yours, making you tilt your chin to look up at him

he stares you down, tongue playing with the double lip rings in the corner of his bottom lip

fuck he’s hot

like fuck. he’s so hot

he says, “tae was right, you know.”

you scrunch your brows together and struggle to find your voice. you compose yourself quickly though

“about?”

he answers right away. “you look real fucking good.”

ah

hahahahahah

hahahahahahahahahahahaha

😂😂😂😂😂😂

right right

😂😂😂😂

so funny.

his voice is so sultry and the way he’s staring you down like he’s enjoying the view. like he wants to devour you whole

it almost makes your knees buckle

GIRL GET IT TOGETHER

he’s literally your junior be serious

you try to stand your ground

no you HAVE to

the fuck you look like being weak in front of this little shit

“thanks. anything else?”

wowww bitchy much?

he stares at you for a moment longer before shaking his head. “nope.”

“good. get out of my way then.” you wave your fingers back and forth to tell him to get lost

he chuckles and steps aside, watching as you push past him and leave him to stare at your retreating ass

you make your way back to where tae was but he’s gone

of course he is

you look around the room, annoyed with all the people dancing and shoving up against you

all of a sudden, a hand on your shoulder makes you slightly jump

you turn and see tae

PHEWWW thought u were gonna get harassed or something

“y/n, you haven’t drank anything yet, right?” he slurs his words and you roll your eyes

this can only mean he wants you to do something

“jungkook wants to go home but he has a speaker jimin really wants. do you mind walking home with him and bringing the speaker back with you?”

what

literally what😭

“please?” he says as soon as he sees the doubt on your face

you sigh, shaking your head at his ridiculousness. “i can’t believe you’re asking me to do that.”

he frowns. “what? i’ve asked you to come to my place at night too.”

“i’m not talking about walking at night, i’m talking about making me go with jungkook.”

“he hasn’t apologized yet?”

huh

how’d he know jk was going to apologize?

“how do you know he wanted to apologize?”

“because it’s jungkook.” he rubs his nose and looks around before looking back at you. “have you ever seen him at a party before? he came to this party just to apologize to you cause he knew you’d come and he wouldn’t have another opportunity. that’s why he’s already leaving despite only having been here for like half an hour.”

you don’t know if that’s just tae being drunk or if he’s actually telling you the truth

bc why

why is that

so

sweet?

were you being dramatic? 😭😭

for being mean to him??

over something so silly

u kinda were lowkey babes.

you sigh softly.

“alright.”

to be continued

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[silverstonesainz]

regret & whatever love is

of everything said and left unsaid frat!george x reader 2.8k words warnings: toxic relationship ; mentions of alcohol 

d rambles. . . i wrote this in one sitting and i think thats super apparent but YAY, i wrote smth. this is for two requests that i received months ago, so two birds one stone. hope u like this, and as always feedback is always appreciated!!

you find that these days, it’s easier to be further from george than right by him. but that isn’t a truth you could ever cough up to. 

it’s obvious though, you think as you babysit a cup of warm vodka and flat sprite. he’s on the opposite end of the room, laughing at a joke and entertaining people without you. he talks to the whole room like he doesn’t have a care in the world, truly, you’ve never seen him so relaxed. it irritates you to no end, and you almost walk over to watch the tension weave back into his shoulders, watch that stupid smile fall off his lips and remind him that you exist.

you sip on your drink, down the rest of it even if it burns. you excuse yourself from the group, walking back into the kitchen to pour yourself another drink. the kitchen island is a mess of half-empty bottles of soda and even emptier bottle of liquor. there are already three bottles pushed aside, empty, in the first hour of the post-social shenanigans. You reach for the blue bottle of plain new amsterdam vodka, pouring what you can only guess to be three shots worth before adding sprite. it bubbles, fizzes close to the brim, and you watch as the foam subsides before dripping in a little more. the soda does a shit job at masking the putrid taste of liquor, and for once you accept that. 

foot steps move closer into the kitchen, followed by laughter and promises that he’d be right back. you know it’s george, you know by how light his steps are. it’s like he walks on air, floats. you don’t look up from your cup, more interested in the clear mix swirling in your cup. it washes against the stain of your lipstick, and the color doesn’t budge. 

george walks around you, reaches over you, moves about like you’re not even in the room. it hurts. you turn, lean against the edge of the sticky island, bringing the cup to your lips but your eyes trained on the red stain on the dingy tiled floor. the fridge opens and closes, something is poured and another bottle added to the stash of empty ones. then you see a pair of worn brown loafers, the same one he wears when he wants to put effort, but not too much. the leather is begin to peel and you make a mental note to get him new ones. 

“you okay?” george asks. 

you scoff, sipping the drink again before setting it by you, “sure.”

“you wanna talk about it?”

did you? you’d been fighting for so long you aren’t even sure where to begin. honestly, you hoped it would fizzle out like all your other fights have in the past. but fizzling out means someone has to give in, and neither of you are really ready to give up having the upper hand this time around.

maybe to some, the fight was stupid. hell, your girlfriends thought so too. but they only knew of this one instance, and not the three others you’ve made a point to keep hidden. he’s a good guy, it’s an honest mistake, they said. one time is an honest mistake, but catching him talk to his ex four times isn’t. 

“you want to talk about it now?” you ask, eyes wide and disbelief weaved into your features. 

he shrugs, sipping on his cup before placing it on the counter. “yeah. might as well.” 

you scoff again before mocking him. “yeah. might as well.” 

george runs his fingers through his hair, already vexed by a conversation that hasn’t even happened. you bite down on your lip, feeling the tension begin to rise. the air is thick, dense, just like molasses. the tension oozes out into the room, drips slow and thick, sticky and hard to get rid of. the kickback happening in the next room, the messy chorus of conversation and the low hum of music, does little to break it. you shift uncomfortable, foot to foot, not sure if you should speak up first or wait on him to say something.

“i honestly forgot how we got here,” george mumbles, twisting his body in search of his drink. 

“we got here because i caught you talking to sabrina again,” you say, hands coming up behind your neck and fingers reaching into the roots of your hair. you tug softly, let the soft ache distract from the one in your chest. it feel like a ball has grown in your throat when you say her name and remember the circumstances in which you found them. 

to the naked eye, it looked like two friends catching up. but to you, to his girlfriend, you picked up on the glimmer in her eyes as she stared up at him. you notice the subtlety of her body language, how loudly it screamed for your boyfriend. all of her was turned to him, leaned towards him. she looked so comfortable and so did he. he wasn’t antsy, wasn’t looking for an out of the conversation, you bet you weren’t even a thought in his mind even after you had begged him not to talk to her again. 

“you’re still mad about that?” 

you jaw falls open as you stare up at your boyfriend, searching for the joke and the punchline. but his face doesn’t waver that way. instead his brows furrow and his lips pout. both your expressions, though different, ask the same question: you can’t be serious?

“of course i’m fucking mad about it george,” you say through your teeth, “why wouldn’t i be when i asked you not to talk to her anymore.” 

you see a ghost of a smile on his lips, but it’s hidden as he brings his cup up to his mouth. he shakes his head into his drink, exhaling loudly through his nostrils. it’s clear he doesn’t take this as seriously as you do. you watch him drink, the way his adam’s apple bobs up and down as he gulps whatever is in the red solo cup. you wait even though you want than to push the bottom of the cup up and watch its contents drip onto him. you’d love nothing more than to watch his perfect white t-shirt get stained with alcohol, watch his face contort in anger because then maybe he’s feel just an ounce of what you do. 

“i haven’t talked to her since,” he finally says, crossing his arms. “if it’s any consolation.”

“it’s not. of course it’s not, are you kidding?” you push your fingers through your hair, inhaling sharply. you fill your lungs until it hurts, exhaling loudly before releasing the grip on your locks. “you don’t even care, do you?”

“of course i care—“

“just not enough?”

he presses his lips into a thin line, nostrils flaring. he breathes in through his nose, eyes squeezing shut as he tries to suffocate the irritation rising in his chest. “i fucking care. i just don’t see what the big deal is.” 

“the big deal is, is she’s your ex george. she’s your ex girlfriend who is so clearly still into you. and i’ve asked you not once, but three time to stop entertaining her and you still do!”

“sabrina is not into me.” you shake your head when he says it, speaking over him immediately. “sabrina is definitely into you.” 

george huffs, “so what? you want me to ignore her?” you blink, hard, before nodding your head. your eyes are wide, lips agape, and a crease in your forehead wondering if he’s really asking that ridiculous question. “it’s rude.” he says.

“i could give a shit,” you reply quickly. 

he digs his tongue into his cheek, nodding his head as he looks you up and down. “well i give a shit. i wasn’t raised to be fucking rude to people, and i sure as hell am not gonna start just to appease this delusion you have in your head about me and sab.” 

you freeze, the words render you stiff. your heart falls apart, falls at his feet piece by piece. tears begin to brim at your eyes. you wonder if he regrets it, you can’t tell as he hides behind his cup.

“i should smack the shit out of you,” you whisper, voice quivering. 

george scoffs, unamused, as he empties the cup down his throat. “yeah, maybe.”

tears blur your vision before falling onto your cheek. you have to turn away when you hear another set of footsteps walk into the room. you make quick work to wipe away any evidence of heartbreak, listening to george ask one of his brothers how it’s going. you fumble for your drink, bringing it up immediately to take another gulp of it. you see pierre just above the rim of your cup, his back to you as he talks to george. 

pierre turns to you, smiling, “hey there,” he greats. he extends his arm to you, and you lean into his side for a brief hug. you avoid looking up at him, and when he releases you, you take george’s cup and move to the opposite end of the island. you try to play the doting girlfriend, the girlfriend who knows him so well, well enough to know that his cup is nearly empty. you refill his drink— vodka and mountain dew. you feel george watch you, half paying attention to whatever it is pierre is talking to him about. you don’t meet his gaze, instead reach for the blue labeled bottle of vodka and pour another shot or two in your half empty cup. you take a sip. it tastes terrible. 

you hand george his cup, leaning by him against the counter while he and pierre converse. he doesn’t put his arm around you, or even kisses your forehead like he always does. he just mumbles a thanks and looks at his brother. and though his arm presses against yours, it feels like he’s miles away. you both stand there, even if your hearts had already left the room. you felt empty, a shell of a girl you both loved. 

pierre eventually leaves, returns to the kickback that had picked up since you and george had found yourself stuck in the kitchen with even bigger problems than you led yourself to believe. 

you return to your spot on the kitchen island, back still to him. your elbows rest on the counter, hands supporting your head as you allow yourself to let go of the tension you’d been holding. you cry softly into your palms, letting the tears smudge the makeup around your eyes. you’d look crazy by the end of this, but maybe you always did anyways. george calls your name softly, slightly defeated and maybe even resigned. you wipe your fingers against your eyes, wipe away the tears and the mascara that fell with it. you use every clean bit of finger to wipe your eyes until it no longer leaves streaks of black on your skin. then you turn to george, who looks a little more guilty than moments earlier.

“i’m sorry.” he says. 

“you always protect her,” you stammer softly, “you always find a way to defend her and make me feel fucking crazy george. you always do this.” 

“because you worry yourself over nothing!”

“it’s not nothing!”

alex walks in, and you both have to bit your tongue. he must’ve felt the tension in the room, because he only smiles over at the two of you before grabbing an unopened box of seltzers from the fridge and a stack of unused red cups. 

“we’re uh,” alex clears his throat, “we’re playing rage cage, if you guys want to come.” 

“yeah man,” george’s lips curve up, almost a smile, “we’ll be out in a sec.” 

alex nods before walking out. you wait until his footsteps drown in the music before continuing. 

“it’s not nothing,” you start again, softer this time, “it’s not delusion, even if you want to believe it is. i know she’s into you, a girl always knows.”

“we’ve been broken up for nearly a year,” george is so clearly exasperated, growing tired of the topic. you see it in his green eyes, in the way he presses his lips into a thin line. 

“doesn’t mean she stopped caring about you.” you sniffle. you look up at your boyfriend, who has his gaze cast down at his beat up loafers. he is probably looking at the creases in the leather, the threads holding it together beginning to fray. maybe he’s even acknowledging he needs a new pair. “do you still care about her?”

his body goes rigid. and he opens his lips to give you the answer you want to hear but then he bites down on the words. his head coils back slightly, and his face grimaces because he can't say it. for whatever reason, for every reason, he can’t say that he doesn’t. 

but he should’ve said it. he should’ve been sure, shouldn’t have left a second of space between your question and his answer. 

you whimper, the tears come back. “oh my god,” you whisper. 

you have to walk out of the room, you have to get out of the space and find way to breathe. you can hear george calling behind you, following you with heavier footsteps. no one notices you walkout of the house, but they do notice george. you try to close the door behind you, but he catches it before it can slam shut. he reaches out for you, fingers curling around your arm and pulling you into his chest. you can feel the words vibrate in his chest and into you. i don’t, i don’t, he chants. i’m sorry. i swear i don’t. he holds onto you so tightly, and you find it hard to slip away from him no matter how hard you try. you push and writhe, but george holds on. but you get away, panting and red in the face. 

you stand with a bit of a distance between you two. you find it easier to be further from george than right by him. it’s easier to breathe, easier not to hate him or yourself. distance might make the heart grow fonder but not here. between you and george, distance makes the relationship bearable. but love isn’t supposed to be this way. love should make the distance hurt, it should make standing a foot away from him burn your skin. but to you, a foot of space isn’t enough.

george takes a step forward. you take a step backward.

the words, the tension, the soft admittance that a bit of space might be beneficial for the both of you is stuck in your throat. but the tears, the tears keep falling. they fall and fall and fall, dripping onto your chest. 

the guilt, the regret, is evident in george’s face, even more so now than you had ever seen. “i’m sorry.” he stutters. 

this is the part you’re supposed to say that you know, that it’s okay. but it’s not. it’s not okay. you know he’s sorry, but you also know that nothing about the last fifteen or so minutes is okay. 

“i’m sorry.” he says again. 

“i know.” your voice breaks.

is this even love anymore?

“i’ll— i’ll block sabrina. i won’t speak to her, i’ll be rude to her, fuck whatever it takes. i’m sorry baby, you have to know how sorry i am.”

maybe this is love. a skewed, fucked up version of love that works for you and george. maybe that’s why you hold on, because it works. even if it’s toxic and wrong and goes against every single thing written about love, even if it’s a kind of love that needs the threat of leaving to find a bit of compromise— it works. 

“don’t put me in the position again george.” your voice barely carries above the wind. but george hears it, nods profusely when he does. “please.” 

“i won’t,” he reassures. 

you should’ve said it was over. you shouldn’t have given him another chance, because you’d already given him one too many. and you know what this will all succumb to, you’d been down this road before. maybe you’ll regret this one day, when george will say things he’ll apologize for when its too late, and talk to a girl you’d already begged him not to. one day you’ll regret walking back into his arm and accepting that maybe this is what love ought to be: a lot of heartache and just enough compromise to quell it. 

george holds you so tightly you struggle to breathe. you drown in his scent, in his hold, and in the threat of all this coming back to punch you in the face. you drown in regret and whatever love is supposed to be.

#george russell x you #george russell x reader #george russell one shot #george russell blurb #frat george

[sageisnice]

Continuation from my last post.. Rant/Vent warning, I need to get my feelings across somehow, read at your own discretion..

🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸

Its honestly just sickening to me that this platform that I've been trying to grow in for the past like, 2 years supports fucking genocide.. and just for the record! I've been retweeting the genocide of Palestine on my secret twit account to hell and back, so yeah I'm not gonna be silent about this bullshit!! to some degree.. sorry I haven't been doing that here too as much btw, but anyway..

It genitally pisses me off how this is even allowed in the first place, Israel is commiting war crime after war crime bombing hospitals and ambulances! Palestine even had to resort to useing horses again, which so surprise! Israel ALSO ending up shutting down.. LITERAL ANIMALS!! THEY AREN'T EVEN SAFE FROM ALL OF THIS!!!

the amount of pain I've saw over the past few months of footage of the people of Palestine suffering is breaking me too! People losing their family's! The ruins of Gaza. the lack of resources. And on top of all of that Having to witness surgery performed on them WITHOUT ANESTHESIA!! MOSTLY HAPPENING TO KIDS MIND YOU, LITERAL FUCKING CHILDREN!!!!!

And Israel is claiming it's "self defense" EVEN THOUGH THATS FAR FROM IT!! THEY ARE TARGETING THE KIDS, WHO DOSE THAT!!!!! THE AMOUNT OF MALAISE I HAVE FOR ISRAEL NOW OVER MOUNTS MY HATRED FOR PIKACHU, which reminder I HATE A LOT!!!!!!!!!

And everywhere I go I can't escape inadvertently supporting the genocide.. literally everything I know supports it to some degree.. like i cant even have fun with some legos without being reminded that they support this too! I'm not gonna bother to namedrop anything else, mainly cuz I'm getting tired from typing all of this shit but you get the point..

To end things off just know that I'm doing everything in my power to not support Israel, and know that I fully side with Palestine and all of the other countries that Israel has spat on.. and just to make things clear I'm not deleting my Tumblr account.. I can only support it if I buy something from here (I think, idk how site stuff works) so yeah..

Sorry you had to read all of that but I just needed to get all of that out.. Fuck Israel!!

From the river to the sea, Palestine WILL be free!!!!!!!!!!!

#sage/unhinged thoughts #ceasefirenow #palestine #save palestine #fuck israel

[larabiatasstuff]

Hai mutual I'd like to read sumthing about our fav clown aka sweettooth. Y/N being scared of something or distressed and hims helping us go to sleep. Hope thats ok. Luv ur stories!

Hey anon, thank you so much for your compliment. I'm always happy to hear that you like my stories. I'm absolutely excited to write that for you. I hope you enjoy. 🖤

Meeting Sweet Tooth after the apocalypse was the best thing that could have happened to me or that could have happened to us. We got along very well from the beginning and became very close friends in a short time. It was almost six months since we started traveling together and we had very much of a fun time. My only problem were the nights,when everyone was asleep and everything was silent. "It's late we should look for a nice place to stay for the night." Sweet Tooth said. "Yeah it was a long day,also you need a break Sweet Tooth." I said giving him a warm smile. After ten minutes he parked the truck behind an old barn so we wouldn't be seen from the road. We lay down in the back and after a few moments I heard Sweet Tooth snoring. He was a fast sleeper and I was almost a little jealous of him. I looked over my shoulder at his peaceful sleeping form and decided to try and get some rest myself. It took me a while but when I finally drifted off to sleep, the nightmares began. I saw pictures of my past, my family, all the bad and horrible things that happened before and after the world went to shit. I wanted to scream, I wanted to wake up but it was hopeless. "Y/N... Y/N hey wake up!" I heard Sweet Tooth's voice calling me and when I woke up I saw him sitting next to me, his hand on my shoulder and a concerned look on his face. "Hey shhhh everything is okay. Are you alright Y/N?" I sat up wiping the tears from my eyes trying to find the right words to explain myself but everything that came out was just babbling."I...I'm sorry Sweet Tooth I didn't want to wake you up.It's just... it was horrible everything was so real and..." but before I could finish I felt his arms around me. "It's okay Y/N, take a deep breath. You don't have to tell me what happened but I promise you that no one will hurt you as long as you're with me. I won't let anyone lay a hand on you." he said gently rubbing my back. "Thank you so much Sweet Tooth. I... my past is a difficult and it still haunts me in my dreams. Sometimes I'm even scared to close my eyes." "I have an idea, take your pillow and come over here." Sweet Tooth said. I did as he said and put my pillow next to him. He lay down on his back and held his arm out for me. I scooted closer to him, my head resting on his shoulder, his arm holding me close to his body." There's no need to be scared Y/N. I protect you from all the evil in this world. No one can take you away from me. I'm holding you tight and I won't let you go okay? You're safe with me Y/N." Again a few tears were running down my cheeks. His words found their way directly into my heart and being so close to him felt wonderful." I don't know what to say Sweet Tooth, I will be forever grateful for that. " he tucked us both in and started slowly rubbing my back again. "Don't worry about that Y/N, you need to rest now. I'm here, close your eyes and try to sleep a bit. You'll see everything will be better tomorrow." I closed my eyes and started to relax, the sound of voice calmed me down and it didn't take long for me to fall asleep in his arms.

#sweet tooth x y/n #sweet tooth x reader #twisted metal #samoa joe

[cybertron-after-dark]

Hiiii could i request megatron x bulkhead headcanons, either prime or animated, if thats ok 🙏

You are based as fuck.

We're gonna go with animated just because I think the chemistry is a liiittle better in my personal opinion.

I'm not gonna lie this one kinda got outta hand. Runaway moderate angst train. If you wouldve rather gotten something lighthearted and fluffy, just shoot me another ask and I can do that too.

-Bulkhead takes awhile to get past the whole incident where Megatron kidnapped him. Threatening his friends like that was not very cash money of him, and Bulky holds a mean grudge. Its gonna have to be a good long while after the conflict dies down for them to be okay with being anything more than just tense ex-enemy acquaintances.

-If a truce happens, in the very least between team prime and team megs, it's likely that a part of that will be rebuilding what got destroyed in the battles, forcing the two to interact. Megatron tries to be amicable. Bulkhead's having none of it.

-xXx-

"Bossbot may be buying your whole guilt ridden bleeding spark schtick, but I know better. You're bad news. Always have been, always will be. You just act like the good guy and hope people forget all the awful things you did if you feel sorry for yourself enough. So rebuild all you want. Act like you care. I know deep down, the only thing you really want is to destroy."

"...You aren't entirely off the mark, Autobo- Bulkhead. I am... Not a good person. I never was. And no matter what I do, it seems I cannot change what I am: Manipulative, violent, aggressive, I simply don't know how to be anything else. But... I had always hoped if I cannot be good, I can at least put all the bad in me to use towards a good cause."

"Yeah? Well some good you did starting a slaggin' war."

"Oh, Bulkhead... We didn't start it."

-xXx-

-One history lesson later, and Bulkhead is still massively skeptical and still pretty angry over every shitty thing the decepticons did, but he's seeing it less as black and white. Especially after corroborating with ratchet to make sure Megatron wasn't just making shit up about Warframes being mistreated.

-Bulkhead catches himself actually feeling pretty bad for what Megatron went through. He knows first servo what it's like being written off as nothing but a force of destruction. It doesn't excuse what he did, but he can't help himself from being sympathetic.

-Megatron genuinely wants Bulkhead to see his own worth and potential. To Megs, Bulkhead is this sweet, pretty, young thing that's been told time and time again by Autobot society that he's unintelligent, oversized, unappealing, and only good for breaking stuff, when every single one of those things is untrue. And it breaks his spark a little seeing the guy beat himself up when he's got so much to offer.

-It takes Bulkhead a long time to drop his guard at all around Megatron. At least a few months after their initial conversation. But when they do start talking, Bulky comes to the very conflicting conclusion that when Megatron isn't being a ruthless tyrant, he's actually... Pretty normal? He's just a guy. Classy, sarcastic, witty, actually pretty funny when e wants to be. All things considered, he's good company. And he can't really deny that the guy has quite a bit of charm.

-the bot-con truce is... Tentative. Tense. Both sides do what's agreed upon and they don't interact beyond what's necessary, for the most part. Nobody's really tried to, until Bulkhead asked Megatron to hang out on Dinobot Island after their shift fixing an overpass starscream crashed into. Needless to say, Megatron was extremely confused, but so endeared he couldn't say no.

-xXx-

"Why Bulkhead, just the two of us alone on a deserted island? It almost seems as though you're asking me on a date."

"W-well I mean- it was just supposed to- I mean i- ...did you want it to be a date?"

-xXx-

-from then, they start seeing each other pretty regularly, though they try to keep it low key. Don't need the team asking too many questions. Bumblebee would be insufferable about it if he found out Bulkhead's been dating the resident warlord.

-Megs actually takes interest in Bulkhead's art. The visual arts have been a core part of Decepticon culture since the Great War started, although usually with much bleaker themes than what Bulkhead makes. It's a nice reminder to him that self expression can be soft, and sweet, rather than a grim reminder of something awful.

-Bulkhead thinks it's really funny that Megatron doesn't know all that much about Earth, and what he does know is taken pretty far out of context. His attempts to introduce the con to videogames have been comedy gold. The big scary Decepticon tyrant can't figure out the controls half the time, and the pokemon type matchup chart is entirely beyond him.

-Bulkhead has gotten Megatron with Deez Nuts at least twice.

-Megatron loves that Bulkhead is so round and cuddly, especially because his Autobot status make him pocket sized to a bigass Warframe like megs. He's very friend shaped, perfect for picking up and snuggling up to, which leaves Bulkhead, invariably, flustered as all hell every time.

-its not a perfect relationship by any means. There's trust issues on both sides. Bulkhead is still always nervous Megatron might go back to being evil, and Megs is always worried whether this sweet Autobot might give into fear and shun him. They can both be stubborn as mules when they want to be, so it takes them a long time to make up after fights. But at the end of the day, Megatron has enough life experience to know letting petty squabbles tear someone away from you is a horrible thing, and Bulkhead went into the relationship knowing Megatron is flawed and often frustrating. They make it work.

-For all Megatron talks of letting Bulkhead see how wonderful he really is, Bulkhead wishes Megatron would practice what he preaches. The con seems to really believe his very existence is a sin he has to atone for, that he has to fix the universe just to make up for being in it. His insistence that he's an awful person is a self fulfilling prophecy, and bulk just wishes he could see that for what it is.

#bulkhead #megatron #tfa #bulkhead x megatron #maccadam #transformers #headcanons #woe. sad gay upon ye.

[sinkableruby]

What are your top 5 Ougi scenes/appearances?

good ask to send me than,k you

starting from 5 well i guess i dont really have like a strict order except for maybe the top one i dont know i dont know i love all of them actually im just gonna do it in chrono order

um spoilers of course dont read this if u havent finished the whole anime (the whole anime!) there will be screencaps...

okay if im going chronoogically i must give my hat to owarimonogtari part 1. wait FUCK theres so many scenes in that shit.......... im gonna be running out of space damnit.... well to summarize it BRIEFLY... (how the fuck do you even summarize it briefly my feelings are large and want to burst out of my chest)... ougis sinister leading araragi down dark paths and poking at his past and knowing the deal but playing-dumbery and antics are just amazing. and shes so cool as she does it how did she get to be that cool! evil and cool.... thats the summary but the scene i would want to talk about is of course the showdown with hanekawa (the first one i guess). uh bc its like really funny? the showdown is great its such a fun buildup of tension and they're like passive-aggressive/plain-aggressive-but-still-loosely-following-social-boundaries trying fighting each other... its great. i think in the light novels when hanekawa says 'but i would have done a better job' ougis smile freezes. you can hear the glass break. you can just hear her in her head shes going like ".......................bitch,? so that's how you wanna play it?" i wish that got animated sometimes. and also of course. it ends how it ends.

its an incredible moment because literally the moment she says this you're like ah. i see. so ougi loses. LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

LIKE GG NO RE 😭😭😭😭😭😭 SORRY OUGI YOU LOST.... DONMAI ITS OK DONT WORRY ABOUT IT. YOU DONT EVEN HAVE TO SEE ANYTHING AFTER ITS LIKE AH. GOTCHA. i was rooting for her to win when i was watching but... this was just so funny. the best way for things to have gone i think.

its also so good how she stands there after like. fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.......... usually ougi is the one doing things to people and its funny but this is also just so hilarious its done so well.

i also want to talk about otori, because ougi in otori is very cool. my first time watching otori i was very in tune with nadeko so hearing ougi do a kinda takedown of her was a very interesting experience for me. she was very sinister and severe and foreboding...... very fun. and of course when it turns out she's been tugging at the strings..... heeheehee THATS SO COOL. i mean looking at these scenes like some of these shots are so cool.

^ the face of someone so evil......

ok going later

i never see people talking about this one but the scene in hitagi rendevous in owari ge that happens on the second episode after the ending is like. oogh. its like the big instance before the finale proper in ougi dark where the show starts fucking slapping you in the face screaming "PAY ATTENTION THERE'S SOMETHING IMPORTANT HAPPENING HERE"

like this shot this FUCKING SHOT. is it just me? is it just me am i the only one who feels acute pain at this? there's something about it thats just so............... like somethings wrong. like thats what i feel like something is wrong and im concerned for this person you feel me?

shes so tired trying to get his attention and do her job and all that shes pressing the doorbell laying down... and then she sees him and goes like 'im exhausted' and just keeps girlbossing like. and like asks araragi (from her perspective) not to kill her and hes just like no and shes just like damn that sucks oh well lol. like imagine being alive for 6 months having no home (shes laying on the god damn nameplate of his house augh...) and knowing full well you're about to die, the things youre seeing now will be some of the last things you ever experience before your consciousness is gone forever (bc she isnt going to hell shes being erased). that's so cool and awesome (horrifying). anyway ougi doesnt care shes got a job to do X) (shes so insane i love her)

also that home thing and the tiredness thing is one of the big things i wrote ougi stay about so ill just take the chance to plug it if ur still reading this go read my fic! i like it a lot i think its nice. its mostly funny but it also talks about this stuff too a bit. go read it

ok next.

dont know whether to count the different parts of this scene as separate or not but i think it shouldnt be separated bc its all important to the scene and that is OF COURSE: ougi dark starting with ougi's convo with tsukihi (the build up… it's oddly calm so you feel somewhat reassured but you KNOW something's going to happen… the buildup of tension starts here and keeps rising). the contents of that conversation, near the end are like, really cool things to be included because up until that point we still dont have SO much insight as to who ougi is but she opens up a bit to tsukihi here and its kind of a paradigm shift to see.

there's something so poignant about this fraught mood...

such an ougi way of talking about one's feelings about oneself...

at least for me when i was watching i was already like, kinda rooting for ougi bc i wanted bad things to happen to araragi (lol) but also like. ougis just so insanely entertaining and fun that like, uh obviously i would root for her here. so when this fun silly funny little fun character starts bustin out the:

its like woah wait huh back up hold on a second there. i care you>???????

like literally the whole confrontation with ougi and araragi it is just like oh no since when did i care about this character so much oh no oh god oh fuck...

like how come they gotta hit me with all these gut punches what did i do to deserve this

like whats so cool about it is with how its directed and the score (and the voice acting!! the seiyuu did an INCREDIBLE job) and everything you can tell shes scared but like again shes actually insane so she's just gonna be like yeah this is the right way for things to happen

(it seems a lot like she did all this wanting the outcome of her losing to araragi, at least to me. hanekawa also says so in the commentary tracks of ougi dark. so thats another layer. theres so many layers... i dont know how many of these layers people pick up on but by golly do i pick up on them)

and of course he saves her (imagine if he didnt? id kill him. WAIT ACTUALLY THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO ARE LIKE "ARARAGI SHOULDNT HAVE SAVED HER" NEVER GO ON THE REDDIT DISCORD SERVER FOR MONOGATARI PEOPLE ACTUALLY THINK THIS WAY IM LITERALLY GOING TO KILL THEM ITS SO. ok i wont talk about it), and she gets mad and its like i KNEW you were putting up a bold front you had emotions this whole time and then its like. oh you had emotions this whole time and you were totally aware of everything and just kinda had to deal with it thats kinda fucked up (i think a lot about how being an oddity born of self-criticism necessarily means you have to be self-aware and how that leads to ougi being a kind of exceptional type of oddity and like how it ties into identity and like... all that stuff). but the emotional breakdown/outburst is so good... augggghhghhh its so good 😭😭😭

(like i think sometimes about how if they had done this wrong, it would feel out of place for ougis generally not-emotion-showing character/not emotional in general character, but they did it so well... its so good)

and of COURSE to cap off this perfect beautiful wonderful scene we get THE GWEH AKA THE PEAK OF FICTION. IT DOESNT GET BETTER THAN THIS. NO IM NOT JOKING. LITERALLY WHEN I SAW THIS I HAD AN EPIPHANY. NOT JUST BECAUSE ITS ADORABLE BUT BECAUSE ITS LIKE HOLY SHIT INTUITIVELY A PART OF ME UNDERSTANDS. THIS *IS* **THE** BEST CHARACTER. and i went to go pace around my room being hype about it. im not joking really bc the novel talks about it being like "an utterly unattractive true-to-life" groan or something that proves she has "substance" which is like... yeah! she's her own person! not just made of lies or w/e!! the gweh actually ties everything together in such a perfect way and i am physically incapable of remaining in bad mood after i see it. i saw it the first time and i was like :O -> :) -> :DDDDDDDDDD and that hasn't changed since it will always put a smile on my face 😌

also also ougi in zoku owari is incredible too so good. the TEEHEE THE TEEHEE IS SO AMAZING. like YEAH!!!! YOURE A LITTLE ROTTEN PRANKSTER TEEHEE!!!!!! YEAH!!!! TRICKSTER TIME TIME TO BE TRICKY A TRICKY LITTLE TRICKSTER YEAH!!!!!!!!!!! and we get more classic ougi exposition/explanation..... havent talked about this as much but their ideas are so interesting.... theyre so interesting and cool i would pay to hear them share ideas about things.............. anyway one other thing i really appreciate about this scene is the shared intimacy between ougi and araragi. it feels more personal yk. this sorta comfortable, natural, thoughtless intimacy is something i absolutely adore about their dynamic but it basically only happens right here in zoku owari, and not even so much in the light novel version. its interesting... i want to write about it. im GOING to write about it mark my words

also honorable mention to ougi in hanamonogatari. theres nothing like big enough about these scenes to mention in comparison with the rest of them bc theyre so short but. BOY OUGI YEAHHHHHHHHHHH HES TRANS WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO i saw that and i was like >:) yeah kanbaru wym hes been a boy this whole time >:)))) don't misgender him god...... >:))))))))))))) (AND HE LOOKS SO COOL THEY ANIMATED HIM SO COOL BC HES IN BOYMODE HES SUCH A BOY FUCK YEAH)

also fuck i didnt talk about the whole planetarium dream scene. that was also good.

ummm yeah i could just talk about this forever and keep talking about scenes and stuff but ill leave it here bc u said 5 and ive already technically named like 7 at least so. yeah. but i dont really have like a ranking order necessarily, except for ougi dark bc its just so so so SO good.

thank you for enabling my derangement ive been writing this since u sent it to me im so ougipilled right now you wouldnt even believe. im ougi wired.

#slamming the table only a little bit #im not insane i promise #ougiposting #monogatari #spoilers #oshino ougi #i did actually scream though #hope no one heard that #the best part is that i always have different things to say at different points in time #these are like my favorite scenes but each time i look at them i can come out with a different takeaway #so good.............. #i should write an ougi manifesto #an ougifesto #hehe that sounds like a festival #i should do that too #idk what id put in it #probably a lot of this #owarimonogatari #owarimonogatari ge #otorimonogatari #hanamonogatari #zoku owarimonogatari #god looking back on what ive written here it doesnt even feel like enough to express how i feel about it all...... its all so . jrgwlkjgalg #anyway yeah cool woo whee ougi yahoo yeah wa ha ha

[bebx]

hi im so sorry but i need to get this off my chest and i cant talk to my friends about it because its so embarrassing and ive talked about it PLENTY

but anyway long story short i was dating someone, we have a weird history dating wise & have been best friends for 3+ years before that all started. literally three weeks ago we decided to be exclusive, on friday i found out that the day before, he kissed another girl IN PUBLIC. i know that girl, they've hooked up before (when i was also hooking up with him but it wasn't anything really and i didn't actually know for sure if they were hooking up (they were)). so we called it quits.

i still spent the weekend bc i'm weak and all i want is him. he said he never felt a connection like this with anyone, he said he loved me and he said he was sorry a hundred times..... he said it would take a long time before he'd feel 'normal' about me. we were both emotional when i left, and since then i havent really stopped crying lol

AND NOW. i dont know if im just driving myself crazy but i feel like he's (still) (again?) talking to that one girl and it would make sense because he basically cheated on me not even a week ago so why wouldnt he do this now??? but. it feels too cruel. but maybe thats just who he is.

god i hate this so much he drives me completely mad im stalking his every move and every time i see something that even slightly hints at my suspicions i get so ill and it makes me wanna kms. i just wanna feel normal i hate that he did this to me i miss him so bad. i know we literally shouldn't ever get back together again because this is just a fraction of the shit thats happened in the past 10 months, BUT I ONLY WANT HIM. and i feel like we're soulmates. BYEEEEE this is so humiliating. im so tired i just want it to end

hugging you so tight right now, anon!!! 🩷🩷🩷 so sorry you have to go through something like this. I can’t say I know exactly how you feel, because each person experiences this type of pain differently, but I do know it just super sucks when the person who hurts us and the person we want to hate turns out to be the one we love the most. sometimes our hearts can be stubborn just like that (it all would’ve been so easy if we could convince ourselves to stop caring and to being able to fully hate them and moving on, but it’s never that easy, sadly). I can’t tell you what to do or how to react to the pain you feel, but know that your pain is valid and how you feel / how you react / how you cope with that pain, that’s valid too. and you are not weak for being hurt when someone wronged you, especially when it’s someone you trusted. I know this is cliche and is so much easier said than done, but please also be kind to yourself, above anything else. that boy and the girl he cheated on you with, they don’t deserve you. they lost you, not the other way around. think of this as an opportunity for you to open yourself to someone else who truly loves and values you, whether it be romantically or platonically. I know right now you just want him, but if the wrong person can make you love him this bad, imagine how much happier you’ll be when you finally find the right one who can make you love them the same way you loved him, if not more, the only difference is that they won’t break your heart. and you deserve to be happy. that someone is out there, and I truly believe you both will find each other when the time is right. but for now, try loving and being gentle to yourself even if it’s hard (I know it can be hard, but at least give it a try), the best revenge is to prove to them that you don’t need them to be happy and that you can heal from this and thrive without them in your life. doesn’t matter how long it takes, but you will get there one day, and you will look back and be so damn proud of yourself for how far you’ve come. because hey, look at you, you are still here, and for that, I am so damn proud of you!!

it’s okay to cry, it’s okay to be completely broken, because the thing about crying and being broken is that it’s not permanent, even if it feels like it right now.

and by the way, the ones who should feel humiliated are him and that girl, not you. screw it if they deserve each other. YOU deserve so much better than that anyway.

#my inbox is open

[brambletakato]

if you’re worried the wordcount’s gonna scare away readers, it probably won’t. i’d absolutely read a 2k post if it’s about my guy jean desmond descole sycamore. honestly i’d read a 20k post about him if i could. pinky swear

... ok so i was actually working on this a few months back.. I wrote a very long draft, then I saved it and came back to it, cringed myself out and just. never posted it,,, but after a few months since I figured that its just because I went too deep into it right off the bat instead of giving a ""small"" summary so here we go ATTEMPT 2!!!!

(also if you're an oomf, you're a part of the campaign and you know what orange spoilers mean then do NOT read further pretty please bats my eyelashes at you) AND PROFESSOR LAYTON SPOILERS

So when I talk about campaign Des, I'm referring to a version of Descole that I've roleplayed for almost 5 years now (which is INSANE to me . has it been that long??? whar??? since when??? it's still 2019 is it not????)

The campaign hook is that it's essentially a mass isekai/amnesia plot; Your blorbo from some fandom gets sent into this world patchworked from other universes and whatnot, and they have to figure out their past whilst also finding out how to get back home. Super cheesy stuff on paper ngl, if you read it on some tv series' synopsis you'd probably skip

But its stupid fun to be a bit silly and have Jean Descole from the professor layton series interact with The Mario from the paper mario series and its a guilty pleasure :]

So as for a summary as to what happened over the 5 years (and then I can clarify on any points if anybody is curious (cricket noises));

To clarify who Descole is in this campaign, he only remembers bits of his life in regards to the canon/campaign rp. He remembers having a wife and daughter, but he doesn't remember that they're dead. He remembers his parents getting kidnapped and having to give away his brother, but he doesn't remember what happened to him after that. He remembers bits of his crimes as Descole, but never why other than for either the Azran or Targent. He's right in hindsight, but it's not he's expecting in the present time. He doesn't remember Raymond at all :( poor guy

He also accidentally adopted a young Trucy Wright (like... around 7-8 years old?) because her father is nowhere to be found and his group is actually nuts with close to no responsible adults. ... Actually why don't I talk about them for a sec;

He ended up in a party of like... 9-10 people and yes that is just as insane as it sounds. Some characters would join or leave the party but it has consistently been 7 characters attending excluding Descole. and yes they're all played by different people except mario who's played by the host, so thats like. 8 players at the table at one time

Anyway so this party is pretty much the source of most of his trauma in the campaign funnily enough. One of them blackmails him about his past and then tries to turn the rest of the group against him (meanwhile he dont know SHIT !!! given the amnesia situation), Descole gets defensive and accidentally fans the flames which ends up in the greatest betrayal for him;

When that person shot him in front of the entire group, both friends and foes alike, and they all turned their heads away from him as he bled onto the snow.

I'd love to get further into the party's hijinks(?), how the party came to be, and ultimately where they are now but that's the bare minimum you need to know (and I'd love to answer anything about them!)

Anyway, it's still unknown to this day how this one thing happened, but it's heavily implied to be because of psychological stress mixing with a third secret ingredient; Sometime during all of this, Descole kept finding himself in a room in his sleep-- And often his sleep was plagued by unspeakable nightmares, so this uneventful yet cozy room would've been a comfortable break for him...

... If not for the fact that Desmond lived there, too.

So Desmond is played by the fucking amazing host too and he's apparently a manifestation of his subconscious, and Descole REALLYYYY didn't like that (very much weirded him out, especially since Desmond was extremely blunt and near emotionless; he'd try and give advice but Descole was super nuh-uh about it)

His unease around his subconscious was enough to where he tried to sleep deprive himself to prolong seeing that guy + having nightmares, which that went well (he almost legitimately died lol)

As they have more chances to genuinely talk, their relationship changes. For better or for worse?... Can get further into that if anybody asks lol

Oh one more thing, because the canon roleplay took super long to have sessions, some players opted to have non-canon roleplays to fill in the gaps of time... Which ended up becoming their own side-campaigns that the host would sometimes join in as well. In fact the host has like... A few non-canon campaigns that he's running, and to be honest there's a few non-canon campaigns I end up thinking about a lot

You might've seen the terms "SS", "Chamber RP" or "Persona RP" in my tags and those are some of the non-canon campaigns. Right now we're focused on the canon rp and Chamber RP, which Chamber serves as a tutorial/introduction for a huge overhaul of the ttrpg system we use. We're still in Act I of canon, but Act II is VERY soon which will be using the new system.

SS; Player hosted, everybody fights an evil version of themselves that doesn't have amnesia while trying to take down an international cooperation. This is super fun because Descole in this one finally remembers WHY he did all of those terrible criminal things in the past...

Chamber RP; Host's campaign, amnesia is reversed; You remember your canon counterpart but not the campaign memories... But this doesn't last long as memories of the after starts to seep in. In a similar vibe of the Zero Escape series, you have to find a way out of a sci-fi laboratory while carrying the metaphorical torch of your forgotten hundred other attempts.

Persona RP; Host's campaign; In stark contrast it's super slice of life-y most times lol. Des gets a job as a teacher in this one??? It's set almost 3 years in the future of the canon campaign and as the name implies is SUPER Persona based. There's a strange other plane of existence that supposedly has the answers as to why they have amnesia... And the serial murders that's been going around town.

Anyway I'm definitely leaving out big details for the sake of brevity but I'd be happy to answer anything and thank you if you've read this far!! finally feels good to get this all out ngl

#campaign des #bram.txt.exe #sorry for the super late answer anon :( #let me be cringe for a second /SILLY #also this is long. like seriously long. and a huge infodump which i apologize for

[rosepascal]

Will it be okay? | Eddie Munson x Reader

warnings: angsty as fuck, small reference to past trauma, ambiguous ending, its really not a happy story sorry guys

a/n: I probably just had the worst day of my life yesterday and so I wrote this story to help me get through it. The stuff the reader is going through and feeling is all real for me and this is basically the conversation I had with my boyfriend so uh, yeah thats it.

It sucks. This sucks. This sucks so. fucking much. Emotions, feelings, shit that happened years ago coming and fucking things up again.

All for Eddie, sweet sweet Eddie who has been nothing but the perfect boyfriend, to get caught in the crossfire.

Sitting on his couch you can hear him sniff every couple seconds and it breaks your heart. The silence twists your stomach into knots as you try and piece together something, anything.

"Eddie I.." Your voice trails off as the words fail to come out. God what do you even say?

I'm sorry I need a break from us.

I'm sorry that I can't be enough for you.

I'm sorry you don't deserve this.

I'm sorry that I'm such a mess.

I'm sorry.

Looking over at him you see the tears and a small smile, silently trying to comfort you even as your life is falling apart.

"I just, everything is too much. M-My job and school and.." You look at your hands as you feel a fresh wave of tears stream down your face. It hurts, god this sucked.

"Hey, it's going to be okay," Eddie cautiously moves towards you. Gently wiping the tears from your cheek.

"I don't think it is Eddie." You force out as your voice cracks from the tears.

"Maybe not now, maybe not even in a month, but it will. I promise." How Eddie can be so strong, so sweet, so fucking nice while you're breaking his heart is beyond you. This poor boy who has done nothing but love gets nothing but pain.

"I'm so proud of you, for talking to me and for knowing what you need." He coos as he pulls you into a hug. His voice is shaky as he tries to stay strong, tries not to cry.

"I'm so sorry Eddie." You cry into his chest, gripping onto his shirt tightly, not wanting to let him go.

"It's okay, take your time. I want you to be happy baby." He cups your face tilts your head up to meet his eyes. It hurt to listen to your sobs and he wished he could just take all your pain away.

"I can't lose you Eddie, I just can't. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me." You can't stop the sobs as the force their way out.

"I'm not going anywhere, I mean it. You think you can get rid of me that easy?" He jokes and somehow you manage to laugh.

"Just take your time, figure things out and I'll be here. I'll wait for as long as you need." He kisses your forehead softly and holds you for just a little bit longer.

"I have to go," His voice is barely above a whisper and you hold on tighter scared to let go. "but this isn't a goodbye."

Reluctantly he stands up and you let go of him. Tears coming faster as he walks towards the door.

"I'll see you later alright baby?" He smiles sadly as he walks out the door.

"I'll see you later Eddie." You whisper as you watch him get into his car and drive away. It hurts, it hurts so bad and you wish it didn't. But it'll be okay, it has to be.

You'll see Eddie again, that all you can hope for.

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson oneshot #eddie munson imagine

[s0lar-ch3ri]

out of context things for a fic im reading (its from my mutual, and i might update my unfinished oneshot for gill after...and do a big oneshot seperation lol)

fic link for people who havent read it yet GO DO THAT NOW EVEN IF YOUVE ALREADY READ IT REREAD IT AND COMPLIMENT IT THIS IS ALL ABOUT CHAPTER 5

im adding "This letter is filled with glitter. If you open it you will be too." in some way shape or form into my vocab its beautiful

i honestly thought that jay was gonna say gill and OH MY GOD THATD BE SO FUNNY AND KINDA ANGSTY IF DONE IN A CERTIAN WAY LOL

(honestly kinda a fic idea there: ava gets help from lizzie as they learn lizzies brother [chip] believes that gillion likes ava or smth. i wanna see the siblings helping their siblings come together)

...oh the heart refs are starting

"He did. She screamed." pure comedy imo

"He kind of liked that idea, he needed more mean girl friends (one can never have too many)." SCREAMING MUTUAL YOU KNOW THE LESBIANS SO WELL AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

...mutual. im not your mother father or parent i wanna put you in timeout AHHHH WHY THESE REFS

mutual. hey. you dont need to remind us. you can let us be happy.

i wonder what the title of the fic means btw

as someone who calls their friend pookie, MISS FERIN DIDNT FUCKING STUTTER

"Stress shouldn’t be real, it was stupid." PREACH!

OH MY GOD HE SAID THAT BEFORE THE KISS HES SO GAY YOUR HONOR GAY AS HELL

FUCK ME I CAN IMAGINE GILLS VOICE SAYING THAT HANG ON IF I DO AN OUT LOUD IMPRESSION...

fuck it is as riduclous as it appears

bro jay and ensa have had a "they/them pussy" moment together and i see it thats the fucking look on their faces good for them

OH. I SEE. GAY "SEX" THEN DEATH. FUCK

he found his kid got a bitch and was so shocked and happy he fucking died

"But then again, maybe he deserved it." chip babygirl you make no sense

wait chips 17 here. 2 years away from being 19. the canon age. oh nononononononono

hey. anybody else notice a pretty big character of chips past hasnt been brought up yet? like, fucking price. the guy thats believed to have mistreated chip. the guy who made chip kill a man. MUTUAL WHAT ARE YOU PLANNING.

okay so i have a theory. my mutual doesnt plan on giving chip a break, hes just lost his dad unknowingly how, hes currently 17, and price hasnt been mentioned ONCE. characters act pretty similar to canon, including how theyve been mistreated in a sense (seen by the elders). the title (You'll Forget (It's Not Your Fault)) doesnt seem any good.

my theory? following the canon idea that chip has been through so much he easily forgot about kenta and his nightmare shit, chips gonna be dealing with price, and i dont think its gonna be just for a couple months. price is behind arlins shit, and price gonna make chip think this shit is all his fault.

oh nvm checked tags REDO THEORY

minor character death probs means you know who if you read it i dont wanna say it cause big spioier uhhhh READ IT OKAY IM SAYING IT NOW arlin, but from the beginning its had memory loss (how i didnt notice this before is beyond me) so im thinking its caused by like bad shit that happens (price is going to fuck with him more and ill sob) and hes blaming himself for it cause he thinks all thats happening including the memory loss is because hes doing shit wrong

(from what i know, depression and shit can cause memory loss BUT im not sure ill be back with results tmr on this so until then REBLOGS OFF)

check my mutual out or ill llegally have to eat you (on tumblr @red-might-be-dead)

#piss dolphin mutual #theory is only based on vibes #chilling in solar lights #jrwi fnc #jrwi riptide au #jrwi #jrwishow #jrwi podcast #jrwi show #just roll with it #jrwi riptide #jrwi au #jrwi fish and chips #idk what other things to add #btw red babygirl (platonic and genderneutral usage) #the “spoilers” of a03 tags? #those need to be there in case people dont want to read those things #its not spoilers if it helps people filter out what they dont wanna read #just noticed you mentioned that on the fic tags lol #enjoy my chaos non-realtime reaction to your fic lol

[beenjen]

What a day, week, month, year - and we are not even 2 weeks into January.

// mom is back on chemo, she gets an infusion every 3 weeks and a pill daily. As far as treatment plans, this one isn’t horrible, it does seem to be cumulative with chemo, and farther into the program it takes more and more out of her, becomes more draining.

We are at the point where we are just buying as much time as we can, the treatment options available, aren’t curative, just prolonging - trying to make peace with that is hard. It’s just hard letting go.

// my dad. Where to begin. We were told before Christmas he would be on surveillance therapy as he was doing so well. Then at his CT scan last week they saw extensive changes in his lungs and believe it to be lung cancer. We go in tomorrow for a PET scan and for a biopsy. It’s just the worst possible scenario, and completely floored us.

I keep thinking, nothing else can go wrong you know? Surely nothing else can be added to our plates, and then the universe says, ‘wanna bet?!’

My mom has been an absolute basket case. With all of her chemo and treatments, she just isn’t the same person as she was going into all of this. Chemo changes your brain chemistry and she’s not able to cope - though I will say we have had more on our plate than most and that’s not surprising at this point.

// my boss told me to not stress, that this past year has been a nightmare for my family and that I don’t need to add worrying about my job on top of that. Yet again, I was looking to change positions, and I gotta say, I don’t think above stated universe wants me too. I’m over aspects of my work, I’m good at it though and moving along isn’t going to work right now. I need something stable as everything else just isn’t right now.

// c and I are good. We have a few projects we are working on - house and yard. It’s been a mad dash to get quotes to fix our back retaining wall patio over the river. The foundation cracked with this last freeze and the costs coming in are steep. Home owners insurance has been completely unhelpful, not that I’m surprised really, just would like to catch a flipping break here y’all.

//kids are back at school/daycare. Doing well. C is wanting to change schools, and that’s stressful. He doesn’t feel where we have Jamis is where he needs to be, and frankly adding more upheaval to my plate is beyond me at this point. His teacher is a bit flakey this year - J loves her, she just doesn’t communicate very well. Sometimes she sends an email, sometimes she sends notes in their bag, sometimes it’s on a school app. One week it’ll be Sunday night, the next week Tuesday, and it’s the weekly learning plan/homework, which makes it a struggle without any consistency. Ls teacher, and reminder she’s in pre pre k, sends more ‘homework’ than what my second grader is doing.

Then I get a message from her daycare that they once more don’t have her immunization records. This happens every 6 months. Literally. As I was dropping L this morning, they gave me a handout saying she doesn’t have records since 2020. I’ve updated them so many times and at each pediatrician appointment, I update and provide them a copy. I told the director this morning that I think they have put her records in someone else’s folder or have thrown out the wrong shot sheet because I just did this in October, and last January and the January before that. Each time it’s an ‘urgent matter’ because we are delinquent, and it’s so ridiculous.

Then I felt bad, because I know they have a ton of kids and they are doing their best and I should have just said ‘no problem’ and given her an updated copy (that I keep in my wallet for this purpose), it just was the last straw.

// I’m back in yoga. Found a quaint studio near me that is Uber hippie and I love that shit. Give me all the mood lighting and sage burning and chanting please and thank you. Distract my mind. Chill me out. Do all the things.

Thats a brief recap. Also, noticed tumblr updated something and the posts I see aren’t chronological anymore? Trying to weed through has been a pain. Hope I haven’t missed anything big.

Cousin night, burning things, painting the upstairs bathroom, wall mural, baby plants, meatloaf, dates and this bald eagle who is nesting on our river bank!!!!

Be well xx

#life is life #keep on keeping on #all the things #dramedy #east nashville #yoga

[oc-aita]

AITA for killing a well known villain?

Hi. I'll try to give as much info as possible, But my backs at my door trying to stop something from breaking in, So excuse any misspells or if I get cut iff. Okay, Sk, Basixallg what happeed started off with this.. Gillain. He mind of attacked myltiple heros. He was kinda cartoony, Never really doing damage, Until.. Well, He killed someone. I found hjm and ended his life. The justice system wouldve given him either life in prison or the deatn penalty anyways, I was just saving taxpayer dollars! Shits expensive enough as is, I dont need another tax increase! Anyways, So basically atter I killed him, A girl began to try and attack me wt every corner. We'll call her S, She's 16. They were friend sor somerhing I dont know. Atfter a while, She ane I uad.. A pretty big fight. Big as in buildings collapsed, And a few people died. I saved as many as I could but she was planning too much. She had bombs set and used her magic to activate them all at once qhen I started to deactivate them. I decided she had to die. She killed women, Men, Children. She broke homes and families. 16 or not, She knew what she did was wrong. I approached her, And was ready to pound her face in until it was nothing but a red paste. She held her wand up and told me shed be olaceinf a curse on me, And that I would never hafe a ,oment of peace again. She fucking disappeared before I could deal with her and was left alone to deal with the aftermath. Whe hasnt resurfaced since rhen. For a few months, Everythinf was fine! I was fine! No major villains or anythinf, I had nothing EXCEPT peace. And thats when tne feelifns started. I felt watched for two or three months, Then I could hear something following me, But nev3r see it. My clothea began to go missing, My hair gel, Anythinf I usualyl used to make myself look good, And I began to find a weird white saliva and crusted old blood everywhere in the house. Then yesterday, It happened.

I saw two white eyes looking into mine through the darkness. They were small, Almost like I only saw his pupils. I called out, "Hello?" And it mimicked it back. I saw it getting closer ane heard its bones crack as it did. Obviously I ran out of the house as fast as possible, But I could hear it scraping and scratching against the floor, Skittering closer as I rah out. Obviously, I'm still alive. For now. I got it out of mt gouse and went inside, Locking all thedoo4s and windows.

I heard a knock at my door. Someone froj.. Frkm my past. They were call

Oh god ohfucking god its insude. It looks lik e me why the fuck does it look like me

Im in the bathroom now. This is the last place I can hide befo4e it gets me.

I feel lik3 killing that guy started this entire thing. I feelmlike killing him kill3d all those people. And i feel lik3 kiLinf him is gonna kill me.

I guess this is mostl6 juat to dostract mtself from that..Thing.

So am i t

#aita #am i the asshole #original character #ask to tw #mod butterfly #unreality tw #death tw #murder tw #violence tw #blood tw #butterflies aita

[jouta-eggboybeloved]

Jouta

Ref for Jouta and his stand (his new refs. His old ref can be used, but only Charmy's new ref can be used)

Info under the cut (has been updated since his last ref) (sorry if the info is all over the place it was originally on discord)

His backstory is different from the original Jouta's backstory. Jotaro and Kakyoin were teaming together yet again to track down some of DIO's followers that they didn't fight. One of these followers was an unnamed stand user/stand. The stand user was able to be able to handle themselves against them both, even causing them great wounds, but they were able to best the user.

But the stand had one last 'ability', it could 'cheat death' in a sort of backwards way. But is basically created a completely new being, one with no memory of its past life. It did this by using the blood from both Jotaro and Kakyoin to create a new being, even with a new stand as the original user/stand died. The new being (that would become named Jouta) was around 6 years old. (Depending on the amout of blood it used/could get is depending on how old the new being would have been)

At first they were going to kill the kid, as it obviously came from the enemies ability. But they realized that it was literally just a kid, with no memory of the past life. They still didn't fully trust the kid, but didn't want to just leave a 6 year old on their own, and didn't want to give him to someone just in case he was faking missing memory. So they ended up taking Jouta with them to track down what was left of the stand users in that area. Kakyoin seemed to get the feeling that they were in the clear in terms of the kid being just a kid, and Jotaro trusting Kakyoin on this let Kakyoin decide what to do with the kid.

Though Jouta wasn't fully human, with the sharp teeth, and what seems to be unusual strength for someone his age. But since at the time he wasn't really doing anything bad they dismissed it of being a byproduct of being part stand.

They decided to meet up with the rest of the stardust crusaders to explain the situation, and to get others opinions on the matter. Met with scepticism at first but was dismissed after the story had been told the others seemed to get along with the kid.

____

Joseph named the kid Jouta, and told Kakyoin and Jotaro that he could take Jouta off of his hands and him and Suzi Q could look after him. Which both agreed was the best, but Kakyoin stated that he'd still be in Jouta's life, since he couldn't just leave a kid that's basically his. Even if the situation was weird.

During the time of Jouta with Joseph and Suzi Q, Joseph taught Jouta qutie a few things such as Hamon and predicting what people will say next. Jouta picked up a bit of Joseph's personality in terms of being a bit of a goof, and being a bit cocky. Much to everyones amusment of him being a little shit with people

Still in this time Jouta struggled a bit with emotions, and would get frustrated easily. Leading him to go non-verbal, and since he didn't really know how to communicate when non-verbal he'd get his point across by biting people if they did something he didn't like (this is a behaviour he never really fully grows out of). Due to this they people around Jouta started to learn sign language (unsure of which sign they'd learn yet)

Jouta started to get taught at the Speedwagon Foundation, e.g. kinda like homeschooling but at the Foundation. But after a few months was moved into schooling at the Foundation after a kid decided to bully Jouta. He (Jouta) ended up breaking the kids arm by accident, since he wasn't used to his in-human strenght/didn't fully realize how weak humans are.

In this time they came to also realise that Jouta has a stand, but Jouta never fully showed it, only had it unraveled. Leading to everyone assuming thats all there was of the stand. Jotaro was tasked with naming it, and grabbed the nearest thing that happened to be dish-soap so called the stand "Charmy Green", even though the stand had already given itself a name Jouta never corrected them.

⭐⭐⭐

After a few years (5) Kakyoin ended up fully taking in Jouta and looking after him. Jotaro ends up being around a bit, but doesn't fully get involved with things Jouta does. Just before Jouta fully moved in with Kakyoin is when he met Jolyne (who was around 6-7 years old ((she was around 3-4 when Jouta first came to exist)) Jouta would be around 11). Kakyoin made up the excuse to Jotaro's wife that he adopted Jouta since a family member of his couldn't take care of him anymore, and thats why he now has Jouta (since the wife knew Kak a bit before Jouta appeared). Jotaro's wife pretty much accepted that and even treated Jouta as one of her own, having Jolyne and Jouta being raised like siblings (despite the fact they actually are).

A few more years go by (4), Jouta on top of doing schooling at the Foundation would also do tasks for the Speedwagon Foundation and Kakyoin, as well as doing stand training with both Kakyoin and Jotaro, even still not showing his stand. So at this point both Kakyoin and Jotaro believed thats all there was to Jouta's stand.

Also during this time, Kakyoin would have Jouta doing things/chores for the elderly in their neighborhood, since Kakyoin wanted Jouta to go be social, since with Jouta oly having interactions with family/family friends/Speedwagon Foundation, he wanted him to have more interaction to try to help Jouta. Jouta didn't mind too much, since the people he'd do odd jobs for were nice to him, and would normally offer him food. (food is the way to his heart. How to easily befriend him)

When Jotaro and his wife devorced, Jouta still visits her and Jolyne, Jouta trying his best to be a sort of perental figure since Jotaro seemed to fade out of the family picture. Though Jotaro did try to make an effort, especially since he had Jouta nagging him all the time about spending time with Jolyne.

⭐⭐⭐

After all that, for Jouta's last year of high school, Kakyoin decided to put Jouta back into public school in hopes Jouta would interact with people, specifically in hopes Jouta would make some actual friends. It caused an argument between Jouta and Kakyoin, since Jouta didn't want to go into public school, but Kakyoin didn't back down and told Jouta that hes going. Jouta normally doesn't argue, and normally does as he is told, but this was something he really wasn't happy about.

Before the school year started, Kakyoin decided to move them both to Morioh, so Kakyoin could be closer to his family. And would give Jouta a fresh start. This was done as well since Kakyoin wouldn't be suprised if people in their old area remembered about Jouta breaking that kids arm. So this was done in hopes that a reputation wouldn't follow Jouta around.

Jotaro ended up coming along when Jouta first moved to Morioh, not to live there too, but to let Jouta meet Josuke and the rest of the Morioh gang. This was done since he (Jotaro) wanted people to look out for Jouta, since he wasn't sure how Jouta would be in school.

On his (Jouta's) first day when waiting for the bus he nearly gets into a fight, since he decided to defend someone from the punks of the school. (this person happened to be Rae). Which Josuke and co. go there in time to break it up. In which Rae eneded up following Jouta around after that, since Jouta pretty much deterred anyone trying to pick on him.

Jouta would hang out with Josuke and co. but also likes to go off on his own, e.g. going off campus at dinner, since he didn't exactly want to eat, but also doesn't want to hang around people. But it never stopped Rae from tagging along. Which it ended up at dinner Jouta would even wait for Rae to get out of class so they could head out together. Or would even walk Rae home at the end of the day, since Rae's house was on the way to his.

⭐⭐⭐

During this time he never really showed Rae he had a stand, since he didn't really want anything to do with stands. Ignoring whenever Rae had Blood Sugar out. And would act like he didn't notice the stand. But due to being friends with Josuke and co. Rae ended up finding out.

A bit after being in the school, Someone started to use their stand to mess with Rae and Jouta, causing people who were otherwise uninterested in them now suddenly became obsessed with them. Leading to Jouta having a terrible time, since he didn't like random people trying to grab onto his arms and stuff.

Both Jouta and Rae see it as a stand doing this, and set out to find the user, since Jouta is basically moments away from blowing up and hitting people. After some investigation they find the user (unnamed as of yet) and their friend (Yua). Which with Jouta threatening them, then a fight between him and Yua they came to a uneasy pact to not mess with each other. But this ended up with them slowly becoming friends.

⭐⭐⭐

During the time when Jouta, Rae and Yua were hanginig out they found a stand (King of Convenience, or King for short). The stand was being harassed by a few stray dogs trying to play with him. In which the group saves King from the dogs. But since they weren't sure if King was evil they sort of began to harass him too. They didn't just want to let King run free, but both due to Rae and Yua's home situations they couldn't take King in, so it lead to Jouta taking King back home with him. Which Jouta had to explain to Kakyoin about King, since he wasn't sure if King would try to attack and wanted Kakyoin to be aware of a possible danger.

Since Jouta has hobbies like knitting/sewing/art he was able to stitch King back to new. Which King appreciated. After that the group decided to keep him and add him to their group, in which they discovered Kings power of having a pocket dimention. Which they used to store things, or even use it as a sort of hideout for themselves.

⭐⭐⭐

Jouta is 6,5 (still growing) and is around 17 years old. Jouta is technically part stand. Having in-human strength, sharp teeth, and eyes can narrow into slits. He is also bordering on having a photographic memory, though he doesn't really use that memory for productive things, more like being able to remember films and just have them playing in his head when hes bored.

He calls Kakyoin "Dad" or "Papa" and Jotaro either "Pops" or sometimes "Old Man". He will normally call Joseph "Gramps" and also the "Old Man" nickname too. Calls Suzi Q "Nonna", and Holly “Nana”

Jouta is an emotional person, and can be impulsive acting on emotions, this can lead to him possibly being easily manipulated, or easily baited into getting mad. In tern this makes it easy for enemies to fight him due to being able to take advantage of Jouta’s personality. Jouta is just a bit all over the place with his personality, and can get easily spooked into shutting down and acting emotionless, or easily spooked into having too much emotion. Jouta can also get hung up on things said about him, especially if its said by people he cares about.

But despite this, his normal personality is a bit of a goof and a cocky asshole. But one that has a big heart for his family/friends and would do anything for them. Sure he'd never admit this to people, but people seem to pick up on it from little things he does for them to try to show he cares.

⭐⭐⭐

Stand's music reference "Rainbow Kitten Surprise - Freefall"

Jouta doesn't really use his stand (fully, he will use it when its unravaled) when he has friends around, since due to the explosions his stand causes its a go big or go home sort of deal. Friend or foe the explosions don't discriminate.

His stand also doesn't fully listen to him. Well technically it does, mainly when it comes to fighting. But it goes off of Jouta's emotions rather than what Jouta thinks he wants, it goes off of subconscious thoughts.

Editional info on what Devil Freefall can do:

Make Jouta invulnerable to small explosions when fully out, or can let Jouta chill in its open chest to make him invulnerable to larger explosions.

Can do something similar to "Crimson Moon" (from Fire Force).

And later on (when he uses a stand arrow to get an extra ability) gets the ability to stop other stand abilities for a short time (in which like time stop, he can train this ability to last longer)

⭐⭐⭐

Jouta due to how stong he is and what his stand is capable of is partly scared of his stand and himself, as hes always super worried about possibly hurting ones who are close to him. So normally when he does touch someone he cares about normally he does so with caution. But Rae is a physically affectionate person (so is Jouta its just the fear he has that stops him), Rae tries to help Jouta get over this fear.

Due to his fear of himself, he also fears the fact he isn't human. His fear of his stand and what it says about him as a person. And his slight fear of not exactly being human. He's just got such a worry about the fact he sees himself as a monster, even though he hasn't really done anything bad intentionally. He knows this fear shouldn't exist, but he can't help but have the dread that comes with his existence.

Jouta also has a fear of people, specifically strangers, since he doesn't really know what they're thinking or going to do next, Joseph somewhat found a way to help Jouta with this fear, without knowing he did. And it was when he taught Jouta to be able to know what people are going to say next, but Jouta can only really use it in specific situations to help himself. But its enough for Jouta to somewhat be fine interacting with strangers.

One of his last fears is a fear of the dark. This started when he pretty much started existing. When Kak and Jotaro were taking him around with them while they tried to work out if he was a threat. Since enemy stand user attacks happened under the cover of night, the darkness. This also lead his stand to develop glowing hair to try to combat this fear of the dark for Jouta. (The hair basically turned into fire, so its added defence for the stand)

⭐⭐⭐

Jouta wants to learn about his past life. He knows he was a bad person in his past life. But he isn’t aloud access to the file on his past life, nor is he aloud access to his own file (from the Speedwagon Foundations files on stand users). (Which those two files later get stolen by Giorgi). He knows he’d be devised by what he reads about his past life, but he feels he has a right to know, since he’s so scared of becoming the person he once was.

#sfw #sfw art #tenmei's art #bluez art #Jouta #Jouta Kujo #Kujo Jouta #Jota #Charmy Green #Devil Freefall #ref #reference #oc ref #oc reference #information #Joutakujo #Jojo oc #oc #jjba #jjba oc #stand #stands #fan stand #stand oc

[ineffible-chaos]

Between Shades of Grey

Marc and Steven haven’t spoken in months; a fight that breaks the fragile bond they had formed has shattered into a million pieces and Marc doesn’t know how to cope in a way that isn’t so violently self destructive

Idk, welcome to the angst. I might make a p2 if anyones interested but have this short angsty mess that I wrote while in a Mood. Please inform me if I did the prayer wrong, I don't want to do any harm or say something thats not cool.

Marc felt like he was walking around aimlessly, the air sickly sweet around him, making him choke. He felt lost, like a child separated from his parents in a grocery store. 

It had been exactly four months, two weeks, three days, and six hours since he and Steven spoke to each other last. Marc had been spiraling after the events in Cairo and Harrow. Their blackouts happened more frequently and Layla was just as distant as she was before she met Steven. Everything felt wrong and Marc knew he was getting bad again, doing every possible harmful thing he could do to himself and their body. 

He didn’t know if Steven retreated to punish him or give him space. Maybe it was a bit of both or something else entirely. Steven had always been the one to give his help freely, asked or not. That’s what he was created for, Steven was the best of him and they both knew it. 

Their apartment was a wreck, everything covered in sand and liquor bottles that Marc threw wherever. He hadn’t been outside in weeks and was thankful for the blackouts that came at random, it meant he didn’t have to exist inside this depressive cloud that had its claws in him. He’d talked to every mirror he could find, hoping, praying that Steven would answer even if it was to tell Marc to leave him the hell alone. Despite the shit show he’d become, he was always very careful about Stevens books, taking care not to spill anything on them or knock them over in his fits of rage. 

That’s how he’d found himself recently, surrounded by all of Steven’s things and crying into the darkened apartment, not caring which god was looking at him in pity. He was a broken, pathetic mess and no god or personality could fix him. This night was the darkest, no moon shone through the clouds and the apartment smelt of old books, stale air, and alcohol, and Marc whispered to the empty room for the endless night in a row. 

“Steven?” even as a whisper, his voice came out hoarse and broken, his throat choking on his words. 

The silence was the only response he received. 

“I don’t know how much longer I can do this.” Marc’s weak body sagged to the floor from the half-upright position he’d been in. “I just want to disappear. I’m a poison that needs to be stopped. Harrow was right.” 

Marc stared at the darkened ceiling, his mind sluggish and fractured but he knew when he was beat. “Something tells me you’re never coming home, brother. Not with me in the way at least.” 

His shaking fingers found the star of David at the hollow of his throat, the metal warm against his cold skin. His numb lips whispered the Hashkiveinu, the prayer for protection and comfort. He didn’t know if he said it for himself or for Steven, but the words he was taught as a child comforted him nonetheless. 

“Grant, O God, that we lie down in peace, and raise us up, our Guardian, to life renewed. Spread over us the shelter of Your peace. Guide us…” His voice gave out but he pushed on. “...with Your good counsel; for Your Name’s sake, be our help. Shield and shelter us beneath the shadow of Your wings. Defend us against enemies, illness, war, famine and sorrow. Distance us from wrongdoing. For You, God, watch over us and deliver us. For You, God, are gracious and merciful. Guard our going and coming, to life and to peace evermore.” 

A part of him hoped God did hear him, could see past the things he’d done and answer his prayer. Marc didn’t care about himself, he was doomed from the beginning, doomed since he’d stepped foot in that cave so many years ago but Steven? Steven was good, so fucking good. He wasn’t so damaged and jagged around the edges, he could live a good life without Khonshu or Marc fucking everything up whenever things started to get good. 

He’d known it would happen eventually, permanently giving up his control so Steven could thrive in life. Hadn’t he promised Steven when they first met all those months ago? Steven had the museum and his books and infinite irritating knowledge about every single thing in the world and Marc had… him. Marc had Steven but now he was gone. 

So Marc would let go. He’d go so far back into their mind that he’d disappear entirely, never to be found again. He’d found the end of the line himself and the gods or God could take him afterwards. He closed his eyes, thought one final prayer, and disappeared from the realm of mortal men and dreamers within his final breath.

#marc spector #steven grant #angst #no comfort #moon knight #marc spector is severly depressed #im sorry for hurting him #but maybe ill make a p2 #brief mention of Layla