#but ill never get to ask them

[theygender]

I recently started playing stardew valley again and downloaded some mods to make my game better. One mod I downloaded makes it so that you get letters from your parents more often and lets you choose your family style to include single parents, gay parents, etc. I thought it would be nice bc my mom in real life is a lesbian so I downloaded it. Then it asked me to pick the names my parents would sign off with. In real life my mother is remarried and I call my stepmother by her first name, but it wouldn't feel right for me to put her actual name in there bc this isn't a 1:1 recreation of my life. I also didn't want to put in a parent name that I hadn't used in real life though. My original second parent, my mom's first partner, died when I was a kid. When they were still alive, I had called my parents Mom and Mimi. So I put Mimi in as the second parent's name. Yesterday I got a letter from Mimi for the first time, telling me a story from when they were young. I almost cried

#rambling #dont mind me just. getting wistful about some pixels #i wish i could talk to them #i wish i could find out what pronouns they want me to use #they were transitioning but this was so many years ago so they still used the pronouns for their asab and idk if thats what they would want #but ill never get to ask them #do they see me? do they know im trans too? are they proud of me? #do they know im studying social work like they were? that ill be graduating from the same school? do they see me? are they proud of me? #they were cremated and their family wouldnt let us keep their ashes. we made a memorial at the house they built but we no longer live there #the college ill be graduating from has their name in the sidewalk with all the other graduates from the year i was born #my name will be there with theirs some day #which name am i putting there? the one i was born with? the one they chose? the one thats named after them? #or will it be a chosen name that matches my gender better #how would they feel about me changing my name? im sure they would want me to be happy but its the only thing that ties me to them #the only thing i have to prove that they ever existed as a part of my life. will i ever change it? #i want to get a tattoo of the memorial that we had when i was young. it was a plaque on their favorite tree stump #i want to prove that theyre a part of me beyond just my name. that theyre with me no matter what #but i dont know what name should go on the tattoo. my mom put their legal name on the plaque. but is that what they would want? #i can never ask them

[ash-and-starlight]

one day, in a thousand years

#I THINK I HAUVE COVID #oh to meet your love after a thousand years at a museum exhibit of your past lives #thinking about them makes me so sick so ILL DISEASED #I AM NOT IMMUNE #spc i’m cursing u forever for this wtf. WTF bro wtf #ouyang’s last thoughts were a desperate plea for esen to wait for him. #he has NEVER called him by first name he has NEVER asked him anything #and his last thought is asking him to wait #and esen does. bc he would have given ouyang anything he asked for #god i hope u get rawed so good it makes up for all the lost lifetimes u earned it #he who drowned the world #she who became the sun #the radiant emperor #general ouyang #esen-temur #(zhu also present in the golden imperial dragon and the golden light of gayness that brought them together again) #my art #not super proud of how it turned out tbh tbh it looks better in my head 😔😔 #would’ve stayed in the drafts if not for my need to feed this 4 ppl fandom #and if not for robin motivation nfngdjfb ty kissa you forever #id in alt text

[voiceofsword]

i saw this meme and was like oh yeah this is them. without a doubt

#rinne amagi #niki shiina #rinniki #mine #DONT GET IT TWISTED niki has also never kissed anyone ever. hes just a little freak #someone sent me an ask abt them kissing — ill get to that eventually but pls have this meme in the meantime dsjkfsdkg

[tianhai03]

hi. did anyone ask for jason voorhees fanart from me in 2023? no? too bad bc im delivering. heres me figuring out how to draw all the different jasons

heres the same thing but with some silly ramblings..... i just like him a lot💖

#dont ask me why i like him so much i dont know. i really dont #thank you boyfie for making me realize if a mass murderer acts pookie enough i will like them #coughs anyways #friday the 13th #jason voorhees #allyart #might have gotten a bit creative when it comes to figuring out their designs #bc the movies are so fuckign dark and you never really get to see jason that well its hard to get details right </3 #whatever ill make up my own jason designs..!!!!!1

[toxooz]

new skate spot expedition 🗺

#ponti #abio #shhhhh just his tail but still #he'll never decline being a gentleman if it means a good ass view ;] #OK got thanksgiving 2 in like an hr so ill answer them asks when i get bach #oc #original character #monster boy #monster oc #monster #terato #exophilia #sketch

[ny000mdraws]

some tfp au sketches of dialogue i have planned for future comics

#transformers #maccadam #tfp au #sketch #tfp perceptor #rid15 sideswipe #rid15 pharma #felt like putting SOME sort of tfp au hot rod angst on paper bc of that one ask #also i completely forgot that i never posted the rid15 designs of some characters on here #ill post them after i do the last one lol #ill let you guys guess who the two are in the last sketch #highly doubt anyone will get it ahaha

[seagull-scribbles]

I want you to tell ‘em that you love the way that they don’t stick out like sore middle fingers

[Continuation of this]

#TMNT 2012 #casey jones 2012 #raphael hamato #rasey #this is platonic again but I’m not against romantic subtext or whatever #when I was in school being able to do this with your hand was super cool and I often still do it with both #but I’ve met both adults and kids who’ve never seen it before and it freaks them out ahaha #anyway I was jus thinking of hands again and this is a warm up sketch #but i do think thee two would have heart to hearts on rooftops sometimes and really open up #maybe theyre sat next to eachother and raph looks at his thigh next to Casey’s and gets self conscious #maybe one of them was hurt in a fight (probably Casey) and theyre patching eachother up and they just start exploring their differences #or maybe its something as simple as raph asking casey if he was Tarzan and the scene with the hands and Casey’s like yo we can do that #or even more childish theyre just doing it to see who’s hands bigger because Casey’s sister has been doing it a lot and its fun #because let me tell you it doesnt matter how old the kids i work with are they all love comparing my hand with theirs #but i imagine Raphs eyes for a second would give away hes upset a little cause he’s definitely the most self conscience about being a mutant #so Casey would do this and be like ahh look see we arent that different really #raph could bend his fingers to emphasise how much shorter Casey’s are #and cause would say something like these digits might be small but theyre mighty #leading to a shove or even a thumb war or something #anyway ill stop gushing i have a comission to do xxx #OH OH OH THE BITE MARK ON CASEY IS BECAUSE A MUTUAL COMMENTS ABOUT EATING MY RASEY ART SO THATS THEIR TEETH but im not naming names....

[nana2009]

dk family for the ones that need to cease the rage

#EDIT: i removed the two drawings to put them into a future dkfam post :p #and also for the people that only want the cute sprite pile #homestuck #davekat #the grind never stops #karkat vantas #dave strider #davekat fankids #once again nana procrastinates the september asks in favor of davekat #because apparently im naturally attracted to bad ship opinions and have to bear the burden of seeing them with my two innocent eyes #its ok nofin davekat family cant fix <3 #sprite edit #ill get betta writing characters guys i swaer #dkfam

[natsmagi]

sorry for making yet another textpost but i came across that post saying they dislike transfem natsume because he "canonically hates being perceived as a girl and tries to erase all sorts of memories related to that" and also went on to shame genderbends of him aswell. So, as someone who not only draws genderbends of natsume but is myself someone who is nonbinary and hates being perceived as a woman, i thought id offer my two cents

first of all; i think its important to note that natsume does NOT hate his childhood. in fact, hes quite happy that he had such an unusual upbringing!

what natsume hates is being perceived as weak. thats why he was raised as a girl after all, it was his mother trying to protect him from evil spirits. he doesnt hate the whole "-chan" or "wearing dresses" thing because he has a hatred for womanhood, its because due to his upbringing hes now come to associate those things as being weak. he begs tsumugi to forget about it because that means tsumugi remembers natsume being weak, and natsume thinks tsumugi still referring to him as "natsume-chan" means he still sees natsume as weak. (iirc natsume did however once say that he is a little sad that he doesnt really know how to relate to young boys due to this in poltergeist, but i couldnt find the exact quote. either way that just adds to the complexity of natsumes relationship with his childhood, because while he is happy to be "abnormal" in that sense, it has left him lacking in some areas)

i have to ask though, should this conflict of his not be something we hope he overcomes? should we not want him to develop a healthy relationship with various gender expressions? should we not want natsume to overcome his belief that feminine things = weakness? i want natsume to reach a point where he can wear feminine clothing and not feel like some damsel in distress because of it. i want natsumes character to grow. i want him to develop a positive relationship with his gender because natsume DOES enjoy some more typically feminine things, like baking! he used to bake with his mom when he was little! and i want him to feel like he can indulge in that side of him without feeling insecure.....

i LOVE transmasc natsume, my primary hc for him is transmasc nonbinary after all, but with all these things considered, shouldnt people be allowed to headcanon him however they want? if they hear his story and negative relationship with femininity and how that resonates with them and they themselves are transfem, should they not be allowed to hc him as such too?

which brings me to my next point; my own personal relationship with gender and femininity. i was raised as a girl and i fucking DESPISED womanhood. i hated everything about it. i hated how i felt forced into a box i didnt want to be stuck in, and i hated how it felt like my whole life had already been planned out for me due to societal expectations, aswell as me needing to present a certain way. i was peak "tomboy" growing up, constantly wearing super baggy clothes and wouldnt even brush my hair alot of the time. but despite that i remained miserable. i frankly hated how i looked and would constantly dye my hair vibrant colors in an attempt to make me like myself a little more. it wasnt until i realized "wow, im actually not a girl at all" that i finally let go of believing i needed to look a certain way (and thus, defying it) and started to dress for myself. i started to dress in clothes that made me happy and feel pretty! alot of which leans feminine, but clothes doesnt have a gender, and how you dress doesnt define your gender either, but it can still be a bit scary yknow? especially since i dont want people to think of me as a girl, and drawing a bunch of femstars has really made me learn to love myself more in a funny way. i can put these characters in clothes i think are beautiful, i can explore the more feminine parts of me that i adore but dont want to express in public due to how i want others to perceive me, but it has also warmed me up to femininity even more. because femstars to me feels detached from the expectations of society because its not a real thing!! there are no canon femstars designs!!! i can do literally whatever the hell i want with it and its been so liberating to me!!

all this to say; i think it really sucks seeing the way this fandom treats transfem hcs and explicit genderbends, because like ive said before; they can truly be something so personal. you dont know why that person is drawing what theyre drawing, so its a little unwise to make assumptions based on ........ Well, whatever it may be. i know very well that women dressing the way society expects them to SUCKS, esp if you have personal ties to it, but you have to realize the issue isnt femininity, but misogyny.

#maybe ill delete this later idk but i just felt like i needed to say something #as i constantly see these things being spoken of yet never do these people actually reach out to femstarries #and ask Hey why are you doing this? #so instead they make bad faith assumptions and it really sucks. #and while im here; #trans hcs count as genderbends. Because you have changed the characters gender #*IF the org chara is a cisman and you make them a trans woman i should add #once again Stop treating trans and cis people as two separate things #if it was a cisbend itd be CALLED CISBEND #and the reason i tag genderbend is because i know some people dont like it #and thats valid!!! no one is forced to like this kind of stuff!!! #and some people who dont like genderbends might be new to enstars and dont know what femstars is #so should it not still be tagged for those people too? #should we not look out for the trans people who dont wish to see their favs be a different gender??? #i dont get it. i really dont #this post probably wont even reach the right audience but wtv #nat rambles #nats enst posting

[be-bi-do-crime]

it’s rough out here…

#i know the govt would never have allowed their loveline to pass censorship but 😔😔😔 jlfx really wrote them so well #excited for their interactions in the drama tho i hope we somehow end up getting some rendition of the jade pendant fiasco…… its all i ask… #drunk kiss scene you will forever be mourned by me 💔 #its fine im cooking a fic for them in my docs. ill make my own food #the legend of shen li #与凤行 #mo fang #fu rong

[dootznbootz]

Odypen definitely and equivalently adore each other BUT I weirdly can't see them as the type to actually say "I Love you".

They still definitely vocalize their love for each other but it's more so in "My Joy", and "Extraordinary Woman", "Strange Woman/Man", etc. And very cheesy lines (both say some cheesy shit in the Odyssey, and he definitely does in the Iliad as well. "Joy like a drowning sailor seeing land" bit???)

I could see "I adore you" but even then, that's probably during very specific moments but the actual "I love you"??? I just typed it just now for fic shit and... It weirdly just didn't feel right and I don't know why. 😅

Idk maybe it's kind of because I see them as over the top in ways, they love wordplay and riddles and I think they'd almost think "...That's not good enough >:( " about it??? I don't know???😂

#I wrote this last night. I'll do the asks I got later. don't worry! :D #I am the cheese god remember?😅 #I think these two would try to “out-cheese” each other and whoever is left speechless first loses #“I would forget my own name before I would ever forget you” bullshit. CHEESY #And yes. “I sleep in our nest with you or outside on the dirt” stupidity >:D #I plan for Odysseus as a beggar to ask why she waits so long. As he's been gone a longer amount of time than the time they had together #(Simply asking as reassurance. He knows his answer. Calypso asked him. but what about Penelope?) but she gets mad at the #“Beggar” and pities him as he must be telling the truth about having a miserable life if he never got the chance to know such devotion #How what they have could never be sullied by #something as trivial as distance and years. How the years with him were the best in her life. Only made better by their son. #'My dear Joy made songs and poems about love a reality as that was simply the life we shared. Even separated our 'song' will always echo #no matter how long it's been. I'LL make sure it always does. And I know he's doing the same... That strange man used to say that #even if he died his corpse would drag itself back to us before he'd ever give up.' #...I'm not one for 'odyssey zombie au' but when I first heard it yeah. :'D Came up with this back then #“His eyes as hard as flint or horn-” Bullshit! The sad lil fuck is hiding sobs with coughs and telling her to keep away for fear of her #catching whatever “illness” he has. The nice thing about being disguised as old means sickly old man works. #... #I'm noticing that Odysseus has a lot of silly oneliners while I write Penelope with a shit ton of set up :'D #They are so silly and I love them so much #...I wrote a lot :'D #Mad rambles #shot by odysseus #my headcanons #odypen #yahoo!!! #sometimes I wonder if I should tag this with more things but I don't want to taint the regular tags with my bullshit :'D I KNOW I'm insane

[secondchoice-ragdoll]

#cant stop thinking abt each other #*compliment* “dont talk abt urself that way” “i thought of u” #K talking in that voice and saying that she had missed T... #(like the silly voice will distract us from her words? sure jan!) #((like they never see each other. do they know they can just hang out for no reason?)) #little miss tell me u miss me and ill show u my underwear #(who could blame her) #K LOOKING AT HER WHILE SHE IS PULLING DOWN HER JEANS #AAAAAAAAAAÆ #seems like T went to the person K recommended to her to help her get better health vise! a win is a win! #i could scream. the fact that their brothers “know” each other. like cmooon😭 #i though the guest might be Tracy? or Eden? they both seemed pretty comfy around them and then K mentioned spanish? #(i thought it might be Plane for a sec. but i take it back fkxwjdoekx) #so cute when K asks T to do a voice😭 #trixie & katya #tbatb #katya zamo #trixie mattel #trixya #the brians

[qtubbo]

don't worry about sleepy responses, or wait until the next day i don't mind and i'm sure other anons don't either! i'm too awkward to start posting myself but i've started having fun with asks :D

While he latched onto to trusting Pac pretty quickly. He hung out with Fit more, but it took him longer to be unwavering to him because Fit had secrets.

totally agree with this but also i was watching pac's stream the other day and he definitely recognizes fit as the one tubbo trusts the most. there have been a bunch of times where he's asked fit to go check on tubbo in the past, and this time he said something along the lines of "he always hears you". it was when pac and fit were using invis to check quackity's basement and pac ended up following along to listen but stayed hidden and didn't let them know he was there. i think all the islanders recognize that there are different levels and types of trust even among friends

Honestly I think pac has a lot of self confidence issues, while I do think Tubbo looks to Fit as the more grounding force therefore he’s more willing to listen him, plus him having to grow to trust Fit has really allowed him to learn through experience that Fit means well for him. I’ve always been under the impression that Tubbo trusts them both around the same amount its just that he considers Fit a lot safer, I think thats what Pacs been picking up on. Pac’s under the impression that he’s a bit useless so he pulls back a lot from tubbo even though he really doesn’t mean to, which has pushed their trust dynamic in a very different direction then the one they both have with fit.

#I watched pacs vod too i love he kept invising even though tubbo wouldn’t have switched up with him there #I think Pac and Tubbo are both under the impression that Fit can and will defend them #Which lead Pac to play a much more silent defender role. He really never gets the chance to physically act on defending him #But tubbo still trusts him enough to tell him about quackity and to sleep curled up next to him and that requires a lot #qsmp #Asks! #im glad you get to post through me :] if you ever start posting yourself send me the @ so we can be mutuals <3 #Thanks though Im just an eepy guy but Ill try not to fret over it in the future #Tubbo #morning crew posting

[hella1975]

all hate to tiktok for taking 'having a space to more openly and actively talk about different cultures' to mean 'cultures are NOT to be shared and we must be vigilantly defensive of our cultures for fear of appropriation, a word that can be applied to any multicultural interaction'. like of course cultural appropriation is a very real problem but ive seen with the access to global multicultural conversation that tiktok provides it's made people TERRIFIED to even interact with cultures other than their own for fear of 'doing it wrong'. like at some point you have to acknowledge that in the real world of the great outdoors, the majority of people are eager to SHARE their cultures. yes there are ignorant questions and biases but also... how do you think those things get unlearnt? i dont understand how deciding that multiculturalism is an elephant in the room instead of a normal thing that should just be talked about and lived with is supposed to benefit anyone? and kids on tiktok are CONVINCED that it's a time bomb of a conversation to have and therefore must be avoided at all costs but like. people generally LOVE their home and their culture and are PROUD of it and want to share it. how have we made it so that showing genuine interest and a desire to understand something so integral to a person's identity is now feared and borderline demonised?

#thinking about this a lot lately. thinking about how fun it was comparing cultural differences in america #thinking of how when i was homesick one thing i found a great comfort in was talking about my home #and how it differed and i really loved and appreciated it when people would ask me about england #in a way that they genuinely just wanted to learn about it and not to take the piss #thinking about how the kitchen at work has chefs from all over europe. we have an irish chef and a spanish chef and an italian chef #and one of the kps is from eastern europe (i havent actually been able to find out where yet) etc and the way they banter with each other #like usually chefs are Problematic bc their humour is VERY abrasive and usually offensive #but this is one instance where it's actually to their benefit bc they're so unafraid to ADDRESS THE FACT THEY HAVE DIFFERENT CULTURES #i feel like the tiktok gen are so petrified of even acknowledging other cultures let alone discussing them #that it's actually sending the conversation backwards. like how does hoarding your culture and pretending it's not there benefit anyone #LET ALONE YOU AND THE CULTURE IN QUESTION. idk it just baffles me a bit that something that started as people on tiktok #genuinely spreading information and talking about the BAD side of this where people DO culturally appropriate or invade spaces that arent #theirs has now become 'for fear of speaking bad about it we will not speak about it at all'. and they'll crucify you if you do. like what #even at uni my best mate is indian and she's too scared to join the sikh society on her own so i regularly go to the events with her #and im typically one of the handful (or the only) white non-sikh there and i get SO welcomed each time #like there's such a genuine excitement to share the culture with someone who is effectively a blank slate #and like yeah ill ask 'dumb' questions or i'll have different experiences (tried a samosa for the first time at one of these events #and the moment that info got out i had like five STRANGERS trying to give me different samosas to try and it was genuinely such #a laugh bc yes they were TEASING me bc 'how have you never had one' but they were also really eager to share MORE as a result) #ugh idk what im saying. i just think it's a shame to watch this happen in real time on the internet #when if people would just go outside and actually TALK to people from other cultures they'd realise 9 times out of 10 the interactions #are actually really really nice for BOTH parties. and actually refusing to talk about this stuff is long-term pretty fucking detrimental #and it also goes the other way!!! like imagine if i - citizen of colonisation motherland herself - didn't interact with other cultures #and didnt ask questions or hear their opinions on whatever shared history we have from THEIR POINT OF VIEW #imagine the kind of shit id be internalising bc i only hung out with other white british people. it wouldnt matter if i was doing it #to be woke or 'respect their culture'. it would still be fucking ignorant. like half my interactions with other cultures #see me as the butt of the joke bc of this like aforementioned irish chef at work VOCALLY slates the english all the time #but it's done in an environment where we're FRIENDS and it's poking fun at each other while still addressing a very serious history. like?? #idk if any of this is worded in a way that makes sense but yeah. i have thoughts #cant believe i got inspired to make an actually serious post bc of the CHEFS AT WORK. embarrassing. no one let them see this

[godlizzza]

I was torn between Coffinshipping and Danbert but I'm gonna choose Danbert because it convenient for you "Imagine Me & You" fic~

Can i request a possessive fic of Danbert? And Herbert is the one who being possessive here.

Thank you so much and plz write whenever you can or have time, I am super appreciated! 🥰

Herbert was gone all of two minutes.

He left Dan with their bags while he went inside in search of someone who could tell them what to do now that their bus had been delayed. His German was rusty but he had a hell of a lot easier time than Dan loudly repeating himself in English, using more rudimentary words with every attempt to get the non-English speaking Swiss workers to understand him. Their travels through Bern were proving to be more working and less holiday.

Herbert paced back to the terminal, their new itinerary scribbled down in his notebook. He glanced up from the page and nearly got run over by a family trailing bulbous suitcases. He barely noticed; he was too busy seething at the sight of a woman chatting animatedly with Dan, smiling up at him and touching his arm. Long blonde hair spilled out from beneath her pageboy hat, which she kept twirling around her finger as she laughed at whatever Dan was saying.

Dan looked slightly bewildered, no doubt having trouble following her broken English. As Herbert stomped closer, he could make out the tail end of her sentence.

"-so cool. I love America." She accentuated love with a squeeze to Dan's bicep, and Herbert nearly chewed right through his tongue.

"Oh, yeah, it's great," Dan replied, scratching at the back of his neck but still keeping his smile in place. "This is my first time outside of America."

Gretel or Heidi or whatever the fuck her name was, grinned at Dan. "You come with me? I can show der Schweiz you-"

"Why are you bothering him?" Herbert barked at her in German, finally slipping up to Dan's side and into her field of vision. "Go find some other tourist to proposition."

She blinked in surprise at his sudden appearance, then frowned as she swept her gaze over him. Doubtless, she was trying to piece his non-European appearance with his crisp German.

"And who are you?" she asked rudely, quirking an eyebrow at him.

Herbert bared his teeth in a feral grin and hugged Dan's arm, tugging him close to his side. "I'm his client. He's a hooker I'm paying to fuck and follow me around. So, unless you've got a few spare thousand Euros, I'd back off."

All the haughty snark instantly vanished from her face, leaving behind only mortification. She slowly backed away, eyes darting between the two of them, before she murmured an apology, turned tail and ran, quickly disappearing into the crowd. Herbert smiled after her, keeping his grip on Dan's arm, satisfaction filling him like a glass of warm milk.

"What just happened?" Dan asked, head whipping back and forth between Herbert and the shadow of the girl. He narrowed his eyes down at Herbert. "What did you say to her? She was just being friendly."

"I didn't say anything," Herbert replied sweetly, nuzzling his cheek into Dan's shoulder. "I just told her we were very busy."

Dan sighed and rubbed at his eyes. "I hate not being able to understand everything. You could be saying anything. Telling people I'm a drug dealer or something."

"I would never do something like that," Herbert said solemnly before releasing Dan's arm and squatting down to grab his suitcase. He started off in the direction of their terminal and nodded for Dan to follow. "Now, come on. We've got a bus to catch."

"As soon as we get to the apartment, I'm taking a nap," Dan groaned as he paced after Herbert, his roller suitcase sliding along the linoleum floor.

#if i get enough hoffstrahm prompts i can make a similar thing collecting them all together too! #but of course ill never turn away danbert haha #danbert #dan cain #herbert west #re-animator #reanimator #asks #my fics #writing prompt