#i wish i could talk to them

[theygender]

I recently started playing stardew valley again and downloaded some mods to make my game better. One mod I downloaded makes it so that you get letters from your parents more often and lets you choose your family style to include single parents, gay parents, etc. I thought it would be nice bc my mom in real life is a lesbian so I downloaded it. Then it asked me to pick the names my parents would sign off with. In real life my mother is remarried and I call my stepmother by her first name, but it wouldn't feel right for me to put her actual name in there bc this isn't a 1:1 recreation of my life. I also didn't want to put in a parent name that I hadn't used in real life though. My original second parent, my mom's first partner, died when I was a kid. When they were still alive, I had called my parents Mom and Mimi. So I put Mimi in as the second parent's name. Yesterday I got a letter from Mimi for the first time, telling me a story from when they were young. I almost cried

#rambling #dont mind me just. getting wistful about some pixels #i wish i could talk to them #i wish i could find out what pronouns they want me to use #they were transitioning but this was so many years ago so they still used the pronouns for their asab and idk if thats what they would want #but ill never get to ask them #do they see me? do they know im trans too? are they proud of me? #do they know im studying social work like they were? that ill be graduating from the same school? do they see me? are they proud of me? #they were cremated and their family wouldnt let us keep their ashes. we made a memorial at the house they built but we no longer live there #the college ill be graduating from has their name in the sidewalk with all the other graduates from the year i was born #my name will be there with theirs some day #which name am i putting there? the one i was born with? the one they chose? the one thats named after them? #or will it be a chosen name that matches my gender better #how would they feel about me changing my name? im sure they would want me to be happy but its the only thing that ties me to them #the only thing i have to prove that they ever existed as a part of my life. will i ever change it? #i want to get a tattoo of the memorial that we had when i was young. it was a plaque on their favorite tree stump #i want to prove that theyre a part of me beyond just my name. that theyre with me no matter what #but i dont know what name should go on the tattoo. my mom put their legal name on the plaque. but is that what they would want? #i can never ask them

[flightplan-fox]

i listened to it for the first time in years today and i realized…

i cut my hair

i got us out

i found a place that feel like home

#i just…. #i used to cry to this song #wishing i could cut my hair #wishing i could leave and find a place that could be home #and now almost 3 years later #i’m doing it #i actually made it #i wish 16 year old me could see me now #i wish i could talk to them #it gets better kid #you figure it out #you find people who love you for who you are #you’re turning out okay #i’m reeling #i never thought about how far i’ve come #cedar talks #Spotify

[butchyena]

prince elliot is being so silly because of not recognizing lua… i think his brain is reacting to a Stranger being in His House. hes completely attached to my hip in a way thats more severe than his usual codependency and he keeps wandering over to lua to just sit there and growl at her before wandering back over to chirp and meow very loudly at me

#hes like mom. MOM. STRANGER DANGER #he is also doing the song and dance he does when im sick #i hope hes not too distressed about both things happening at once #when prince had his surgery earlier this year lua avoided him entirely #he KEEPS going back over to her to be confused and growl #i wonder what hes thinking #i wish i could talk to them #i want to explain to lua why shes in pain and i want to tell prince its alrighth ):

[mondglocke]

There is a Hummingbird Moth hiding in my Bedroom. Which is ironic, bc i keep my Moth Collection in my Bedroom.

....

I wanna help her out, but she has the big Summ Summ Anxiety, it's hard to catch her and i have no idea where she's hiding :( I mean i don't own a Hummingbird Moth yet, i might have fangirled a little when i recongized what kind of moth it was, i don't mind keeping and taking care of her....but poor mothie.

#🌙🔔 #moths #When you love to collect dead insects but you don't want them to DIE #I wish i could talk to them #Hey Moth Friend #I am a Moth Friend #I would love to help you out or else you will get a bed in my moth pension and idk if you want that

[crispyliza]

I've got you all figured out fanartists

#I should have learned how to draw #i have so many ideas and so little time to write #i wish i could make a vague comic about them and have a fanfic author get hooked and write it for me 😭 #fanfiction #fanart #meme #crispy talks #shitpost #this was inspired by some overlord huskerdust comics with incredible ideas i saw on twitter #where the artists are clearly waiting for someone to get hooked lol #hazbin hotel #the witcher #hannigram #hannibal #geraskier #good omens #ineffable husbands #my edit #helluva boss #the magnus archives #house of the dragon #dungeon meshi #atla #stranger things #aang #zuko #steddie #mlp #dc #percy jackson

[flintbian]

There's a disabled angel in good omens 🥺

#listen im only in episode two and i know there's some drama going down but im focusing on this lol #i love that not only do they show the angel using a wheelchair and being ambulatory #but they also visibly show them miracling innaccessibility issues so that they Can still use the chair #instead of just getting rid of the disability #part of my is conflicted bc im like... there's disabilities in heaven? and that makes Me sad bc my disability is hell and painful as fuck #But getting rid of disability in fantasy is eugenist crap and showing that god made a disabled angel is a net good thing #while it personally makes me sad to think if there was a heaven i could still be in pain all the time #not all disabilites are bad and need to be cured we're a wide spectrum and we've been fighting for disabled rep esp in fantasy for ages #it's objectively good my personal feelings about my own disability aside #part of me thinks it's cliche to say 'you were made perfect' bc they're an angel But it's not we literally havent had this type of rep lol #anyways it made me happy to see #and im so glad it's a power chair user that's ambulatory it's important for abled ppl to see that #anyways y'all keep your drama and spoilers off my post im not far in and im only talking about this shoo #oh also!! love the fantasy hover chair they use in heaven specifically too i wish we had that it kicks ass #p

[defectiveferalfreak]

i rediscovered @nicktoonsunite and @choraa ‘s art like wowie did they inspire me to dip my toes into NUverse??

also i cant believe Dib and Zim basically waltzed into NU:GoD, like WHATS UP B*TCHS WE  GONNA HELP WHETHER U WANT IT OR NOT like can u believe that lol

#nicktoons unite #nicktoons unite globs of doom #nicktoons unite GoD #i find it ironic its called NU GoD #invader zim #dib membrane #iz zim #iz dib #ive been sitting on the doodles ideas since end of AUGUST. basically so long that i started to hate them lol #i have a lot of thoghts about nicktoons!Dib&Zim but almost no concentration to draw much of it #because helooo fandom interest change like autumn leaves #but i fell in love with possible nicktoons universe with those two assholes in it so they WILL live rent free in my head #so many details of this doodles that i want to talk about but im afraid to start rambling #so im just gonna sit and hope someone notices those little things #throwing this nicktoons!IZAU into the void so i could stop obsessivly staring at unfinished doodles. also gonna go cry over nicktoonsunite a #and choraa awesome OG4 art like those are fucking goals #and lack of fics for nicktoons adventures ;( like i wish someone was brave enough to write some cool NU advnetures <;( #danny phantom #fairly oddparents #the adventures of jimmy neutron: boy genius #spongebob squarepants #if someone asks me about this au i probably wont have much to say because its all very vague but i will most likely go feral lol #i wish i could finish my iz star wars au doodles ;( theyve been in my files since summer haha

[icewindandboringhorror]

I know this is just a silly bad quality random screencap of a screencap that I found on facebook lol, BUT it's a succinct enough image to easily describe the concept in a quick/accessible way hopefully :

-

(and of course, feel free to elaborate in tags, etc.! (especially elaborating about other senses as well.. can you "hear" in your mind just as well as you can "see"? taste? etc.) It's an interesting topic to me, as someone who's like a 4.5 at MOST lol. I'm curious what option will be the most common :0c )

#tumblr polls #hrmm... a little poll perhaps.. about a subject I find interesting.. since this image came across my facebook today #still really not feeling that well. no longer shaking violently and such but I still feel weird and weak much more than usual #They did say my markers for like infection or inflammation were elevated but that they werent sure of the cause so hopefully #it's nothing too serious. they did also say a lot of different things can cause that thing to be higher than normal but didn't go into spec #fics of what. maybe some of them are relatively benign or something. I still havent felt much back to normal since #I got really sick that one time though. I feel fine on and off but then little bouts of feeling weird and sick happen. hrmmm #ANYWAY.. looking for small ways to be productive. such as little doodles on evil ipad or editing game videos #or posting polls or cat pictures or some other like not very labor intensive things #I WISH I COULD FOCUS on writing HHRGGhh... I need to finish my game.. it would be so freeing.. a project that's been looming #over my head for like 5 years even though througouht that 5yrs I've probably spent a total of 3 months working on it lo.. ANYWAY #I still partially really cannot beleive that people CAN see stuff in their heads. There's always part of me that's thinking like. well mayb #e everyone DOES see the same exact thing but we just describe/conceptualize it so differently that we think we're talking about #different things when we're really not. But I have been assured by people I've talked to about it that they can GENUINELY really see #stuff in their heads like as vivid as an actual picture in real life or something. And the other senses are neat too. Like for exmaple I #can hear in my head much better than I can see imagery. I still CANNOT hear vividly like as if I were listening to actual music out loud.. #but I think it's developed more than my sight. AND interesting how this varies the creative process. a friend I was talking to on the phone #said they write by literally just watching stuff play before them like a movie. where my process is COMPLETELY different. AND that affects #the content/what details we focus on as well as our individual styles of writing have differences that can be traced back to that.. hrmm

[front-facing-pokemon]

#spinda #AAAHHHH YES!!! our belovèd spinda. from their café!!! probably one of my favorite minor characters from pmd sky #whom i don't even think was in the original explorers games. i think spinda's café was exclusive to sky. if i'm remembering correct #ly. or maybe that was shaymin village. i know shaymin village was for sure but maybe it was just that and not both of them. either way #have a delicious drink and allow the flower of conversation to bloom! i could quote spinda all day. he had “hopes and dreams” before toby #ever did. THAT'S ALSO like i had no idea what spinda's pronouns were. i kept trying to figure it out because i talked about him quite a lot‚ #but no one in game ever talked about him. to mention his pronouns? turns out. there's ONE line of dialogue where the post office fucker in #shaymin village mentions him and calls him a he. i think that's the only time spinda is referred to in the third person with a pronoun #i believe it's when they're talking about like. how you can send gifts or whatever and pick up the characters' responses at spinda's café #which is still a really fucking good feature. of any video game. SEE WHAT I MEAN spinda and their café is just an incredibly good Thing #it's to the point where my home wifi network is named “Spinda's Café Wi-Fi” because i love it so much. so if you're ever runnin around #and you see a wifi network by that name… it might be me! you never know! or… it could be the real deal. the real spinda's café is somewhere #nearby…! ugh. i wish. i would go there immediately #not even to mention all the other shit about this pokémon that's really good. like that they never walk in straight lines or whatever #their little dance. it's just. huUGHKLJKAHJVDHJHDAJSVGD i love spinda. a nice pick-me-up after the underwhelmingness that was grumpig #shake it this way… shake it that way… and stir it all around… and it's done!

[feniksido]

They flirt with each other by threatening to kill each other it's great this was supposed to be me just practicing a little bit of how they interact with each other but i am was drawn in by gortash's gold arm bracer things and so now its like fully colored My Dark Urge is a Zariel bloodline Tiefling named Zenith [he/him]

#my art #enver gortash #the dark urge #durgetash #goretash #reading fanfics isnt enough i need to consume them #also like dont look at this too closely you'll see so many mistakes #yeah anyways i need gortash so bad and also zenith i miss zenith #i wish i could like talk about their specific dynamic to someone but like i am 1. bad at talking 2. unsure of what i would say #baldur’s gate 3 #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 spoilers #you know how tav is always like crossing their arms or like holding their hands behind their back or in front #i always imagined zenith would do that to hide the twitching knifearm that is constantly mentioned #me and my durge shaking hands because of our shaking hands #zenith

[ali3nboyfriend]

i see a lot of talk of fellow adhd and autistic folk feeling like they’re too much for other people but i don’t see a lot of talk about feeling like you’re not enough. low energy adhd and autism where it takes a lot of effort to use words so your way of showing affection is to sit there and vibe in people’s presence but it comes off like you’re not paying attention or it’s not “active” enough to count, or forgetting to reply to DMs (or like i said, Words Hard), and it again comes off as you not caring or ignoring people. it’s really hard to be putting in so much effort to maintain friendships you value only for that effort to not be seen, or to be read as apathy, or for it to be seen but still not be what other people want. even worse when you try and talk more and be more active in a relationship but you end up burning yourself out because you don’t have enough energy to maintain it.

#starscream.txt #i struggle a lot with feeling like i’m not Enough of a presence for people #i like to just. listen to people. but i’ve had several people stop talking to me because me just listening comes off as me not caring #or finding them annoying #which it isn’t #and it fucking sucks. idk #i understand RSD and the need for validation so i don’t begrudge anyone that #i just wish i could be met on my field sometimes. i wish my natural behaviors didn’t read like apathy #or annoyance #i wish people could see my ways of showing affection for what they are #vent i guess

[heronoegg]

squad going to Kinoko's pool party arc

#i just wanted to draw girls at the pool arent they cute????? #i guess idk #sorry for not drawing a whole lot #my skills went somewhere cause i stop drawing for awhile i wish i could just draw them how i used to #it looked so much better god #art #bnha #my hero academia #mina ashido #sero hanta #bakugo katsuki #denki kaminari #female sero #female kaminari #female bakugo #bakusquad #these are so bad like i could do better i can draw them better #dont talk to me about drawing umbrellas i dont care enough

[updatingranboo]

some various offline messages from ranboo today :D

if you chat in offline, remember to be respectful ^_^

#ranboo #ranboo update #twitch update #offline update #offline chat #sorry im so scattered with offline updates LMAO #wish i could be more consistent w them i will try harder #with my luck the second i update they start talking again

[geodenes]

can someone PLEASE be insane with me about them

#mordeson #regular show #benson #benson dunwoody #(ꈍᴗꈍ)♡ #mordecai #regular show fanart #regular show benson #regular show mordecai #mordecai x benson #GUYS I LOVE THEM SO MUCHJ i rlly wish i could talk as in much depth about them as i would like 2 bc i could spend hours!!!! i swear 😪 #i can't believe i only had a single post of them I FEEL LIKE SUCH A FAKE FAN IM SO SORRY #btw has anyone thought of a name for this ship besides mordeson? i always wanted 2 make one like those big fandoms do ! it's just so.. cool #i suggest bluegum or videoclip ( videogames + clipboard ) in case there are no options available yet:3 #I HOPE THOSE DON'T SOUND LAME AAAAUGH I REALLY TRIED MY BEST TO THINK OF SOMETHING GOOD BUT MY BRAIN IS USELESS 4 THIS KINDA STUFF #anyway. thank u very much bee for letting me use the idea of the cat beanie hehee<3

[gummybearstastelikesadness]

I’ve seen a few of the ghosts regent ideas floating around, but pair that with adoptive dad Jason.

Jason adopts Danny but because he died, came back, and took a green soup dip Jason ends up accidentally adopting Danny in both the living realm and the GZ/IR. Danny being only 15 in human years and 1 in ghost years may be the current king, but he’s too young to be considered the formal ruler for events and realm rituals. So Jason has to take brakes from being the Red Hood every few weeks to basically put blob ghosts in a fancy circle and glare at unruly citizens.

Jason takes care of Danny and keeps the Bats from crowding and stressing him out. He also lets Danny help with vigilante stuff by working on evacuation plans, non lethal weaponry, medical training, and other things that won’t put him in danger or directly in the field.

Eventually the Red Hood gets captured by cultists along with a few of the other bats, all of them are tied to poles and fighting to escape their bindings. Then Jason hears what they’re supposedly going to summon, “The tyrant of the dead! The King of the Infinite Realm!” Jason stops fighting against his bindings and has to try not to choke or die again from laughing too hard while telling them they were about to do the stupidest thing they ever had.

The cultists say he “won’t be laughing for much longer” and to “shut up” and begin to summon the King. The entire area starts glowing green and the temperature drops, everyone can see their breath, the lights are flickering, and citrus scented neon green smoke begins spreading and forming a humanoid shape. At the same time the Red Hood vanishes, his bindings falling to the floor.

The cultists excitingly finish the ritual and while the figure is still cloaked in smoke tell it they prepared sacrifices for it. The smoke fades and standing fully armed ready to fight is the Red Hood. He tells the cultists to Run and that he told them they were going to regret this.

After Jason beats the cultists and the Bats get free they ask him how he did it. Jason responds by saying the King didn’t sign the Summoning permission slip so he can’t be summoned. This just leaves them more confused.

Jason heads back home to tell Danny what happened and that he should change the King’s summoning requirements.

#danny phantom #dp #dp x dc #dc x dp #danny fenton #jason todd #Just domestic ghost king stuff and domestic crime lord things. #Jason looks at Danny’s hair and eye colour. am I becoming Bruce? no. I’m better. #Jason after also adopting Dani: I’m what Bruce wishes he could be. my children actually talk to and like me #Danny and Jason bond over their mutual hatred of clowns. when Danny finds out the Joker murdered Jason he’s all like you can get revenge #ghosts can get revenge on those that killed them. you came back so you can do more than just haunt him. #and if the Joker dies when I’m still a child you get total custody of him in the afterlife. Jason… It’s time to hunt a clown.

[puppyeared]

some sort of creature

#i finally figured out how to adjust brush pressure sensitivity so im trying to get a feel for it to see if i like it #theyre very shy.. burrows into the ground to escape social interactions which honestly i wish i could do too #now that i think about it i have a soft spot for shy characters but like not in a uwaaahhh >m< way. like they become the most sopping wet #creature alive if u ask them to make a phone call. they will look at u so betrayed if u asked them to talk to the mcdonalds cashier etc etc #i havent read chainsaw man but i feel like im describing kobeni based on what ive seen of her and i have to agree #moles are also like this because ummm. because they live in the dirt and dont talk to anyone and have shitty eye sight like me #my art #myart #doodles #sona #fursona #mulch #fur #furry art