can I also say. I’m so glad that the endgame of this plotline was “elaborate minigame excuse”. this is just… how the hermits resolve conflicts huh. like. season six civil war (elaborate minigame excuse). season seven turf war (elaborate minigame excuse). now the season nine rentheking plot (elaborate minigame excuse). I’m surprised they didn’t try to solve the moon with a minigame honestly. who knows maybe it would have worked,
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honestly like. the ridiculousness of "the devils nest was a family so greed must have been the dad!!!" aside i simply cant imagine that greed would ever feel comfortable being seen as ANYBODYS dad. like without at least a whole lot of work unpacking the traumas. i dont think dad is a thing he would want to be. he can absolutely be caring (he does care so much) and even mentorly in his own weird greed way but if you called him dad-like hed look at you like you called him a fucking shit eating rat bastard
also all the teens in his life have parental issues already. their idea of a dad is ALSO "guy who doesnt give a shit about you". to them he is at best (in terms of nuclear family relationships) the Uncle Who Is Going Through It
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where on the scale of ‘fake musicians emulating real musicians and committing suicide because you don’t like the character people put on you in a weird movie that gay people like’ from velvet goldmine to head 1968 are are you
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tbh my worst fear that i KNOW is going to happen, is when brightheart dies, she's going to lose all her scars in starclan and be described as "beautiful again" and it's going to make me so fucking violent
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ok i finished pt3 and i am going to go to bed like a responsible person but............ i am again having trouble with my existing writing now that cinnamon is done, and it continues to be This Week, so i want to take a little time off of that, but i still want to Write, yknow? like for fun. so if you (mutuals) have any little brainworm you think i could do let me know. or like.... idk. a prompt list? and if not (truly no pressure i am just out here) when i wake up i am going to maybe hunt down another list myself. because i had fun making that little mason thing and i think i could perhaps do it again
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that smoking in public poll got me thinking. you don't get to waffle about being neutral with these options you gotta choose
i personally like the smell of weed but dislike the smell of cigarette/tobacco smoke, but combing through the notes on that poll indicates that this opinion may be unpopular! idk!
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at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"
like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.
"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."
... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.
and i'd still keep writing.
i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.
i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley
"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"
and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.
it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.
you create because you're greedy.
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