#but she doesnt go out of her way to harm the children. id say she sort of goes out of her way to *not* do so | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

transgenderfox · 2 years

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wait omg drop the elise essay king ‼️

IM ONLY 20 MINUTES INTO CUTSCENES SO EVERYONE IGNORE MY DUMBASS IF ANYTHING I SAY IS BLATANTLY WRONG AND WHATNOT

also this all probably makes no sense bc i wrote it all immediately upon waking up and its very disjointed . (did my best to clean it up for u bestie <3) but anyway

SO. basically i really dont like how elise is just something for sonic to chase after rescuing over and over and over. it feels like in trying to stop amy from being the damsel in distress they were like okay but now we need a NEW one. i dislike how she has such little agency.

my understanding of her backstory so far is her dad puts iblis in her as a kid and then dies because parents have no rights in this franchise. and this sounds !! like SUCH an interesting basis for her character. (again im not at that part yet so almost definitely im missing something but to seal iblis in her feels VERY shitty even if its nessacary for whatever reason, shes only a child.)

you could spin it to be a narrative about childhood abuse or trauma but again i dont have full context yet, if thats not at all where it goes then were i completely rewriting it id go with that personally !!

ANYWAY THE MAIN POINT I WAS GOING ON ABOUT IS WHAT I WANT TO SEE FROM HER:

so far it seems like the plot is just happening around her and to her. shes grabbed shes rescued she plays exposition fairy rinse wash repeat and i think this could actually be used well, as a starting point for her arc.

that line saying shes a good girl stuck out to me, as thats what you call children who dont cause problems. and well. what is a problem if not iblis. this heavy focus on being "good" and having to repress everything to keep iblis at bay will obviously weigh on someone, especially a child. this girl can bottle up so many dang emotions. she can be a true lesson in toxic positivity !! she also strikes me as very lonely (not uncommon with royal characters in sonic, like blaze)

so, shes a good (read: obedient) child who tells herself she has to always be happy for everyone elses sake. that her pain will harm others greatly.

mirroring how she had no control in the decision to harbour iblis, she allows herself to be pulled about by the plot for a while. (maybe acting independently doesnt even feel like an option to her, because she doesnt fully know what will awaken iblis, making her feel the best way to keep the world safe is to do nothing??? sacrificing herself for the worlds sake if you will.) shes been stripped of control her whole life so why would she act differently now?

she cannot be sad. so beneath everything, all of her sadness turns into anger that shes keeping at bay. why her?

i want her to have this unimaginable deeply repressed anger at her father and what he did. and i dont know what it would be, but i want something to act as a catalyst for her finally snapping, and she takes control of her story and chooses to set iblis free. she becomes the monster at her own volition. in "losing control" she finally gains it.

as i said to my best friend: i want a work of fiction where the woman is allowed to go really insane and be grotesque. where theres nothing pretty about her situation at all.

like i said, she strikes me as very lonely, and maybe the genuine bond she gained with sonic and co throughout the game is where her defeat will come from.

after all this isnt nessacarily her its her pain and her anguish. its something thats been mounting for years and years because of everything that happened to her. her whole life she has been her pain, all her actions (and lack thereof) for the sake of everyone else because she is the iblis trigger. but with sonic and everyone, for the first time in her life shes not that, shes elise, their friend. they love her genuinely and they want her to live life on her own terms.

THAT IS THE GENERAL GIST OF WHAT I THINK WOULD BE COOL ! if nothing else i think itd make for a neat au (villain au? though i dont really wanna see her stay a villain i iwant this to be more a metaphor for healing) but YA. im expected the timeline to now warp so this has always been true and everyone goes "wym this was litearlly the whole plot" wish me luck besties <3

#txt #wait i forgot to tag #elise

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oftheredmoon · 3 years

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my abuser abused me. after 10 years i broke my silence and told my childhood friend. i didnt want justice or anything bc i didnt want to destroy my family, i just wanted to confide in my closest friend. she immediately ran around town and told everyone. 2 years later, i found out random people knew about my trauma and were threatening my abuser as well as on the verge of involving my family. so i lied. and said i lied about the abuse. a lot of people in town hate me. ex-childhood friend hates me and victimizes herself; everyone takes her side. my abuser hates me and rather than be grateful that i took one for the team (since we both know what he did) he uses it against me. tells me he hates me because “you know what you did” on party chat in front of the handful of people who still speak to me.

i can never confide in anyone about this due to cultural reasons. i’m stuck living in a looped hell. people think im some mentally ill wacko who went off the deep end and tried to drag innocent people down with me. i dont do drugs. i dont drink. i dont have an escape. i dont have friends anymore. suicide is not an option. confiding in people is no longer an option. coping mechanisms dont work anymore. self-harm never worked and just made me feel stupid. moving out/running away is not an option. therapy didnt help, neither did meds.

i think the most painful thing is the blatant fact that i will never truly be happy.

i’m expected to get married and have children. i want to get married and have children. but how am i supposed to let my husband lay a finger on me without screaming and crying? how am i supposed to explain that the reason i breakdown everytime he compliments me is because nobody has ever paid attention to me before? how am i supposed to be a good wife and have a good job when im completely talentless and stupid because i spent my whole childhood in a locked room neglected? how am i supposed to a healthy partner when the very thought of him becoming slightly annoyed with me or ignoring me is enough to send me into a psychotic breakdown? how am i supposed to explain why im so mentally ill? why i have psychosis, ptsd, depression, anxiety, adhd, and borderline personality disorder. why im constantly dissociating. how am i supposed to explain why im so physically ill? my heart, my blood sugar, my ulcers, the migraines, the potential cysts, crohns disease, the fact that i can hardly eat without throwing up, the fact that my body has dealt with so much stress that its already giving up at 20 years old. i could keep going, but i wont.

its getting hard to feel anything anymore. i’m no longer in touch with reality. when i try to think about myself my appearance, my name and all the things that once defined me do not come up. im hardly human at this point. i wake up, eat, stare at the wall for 8 hours, eat again, maybe do some homework, and play xbox for a few hours before my abuser inevitably makes a comment and i get triggered and leave before i breakdown in front of everyone.

“just tell ur future husband!!” cant, its not that simple, im not from the west.

“find a supportive/understanding man!!” see above plus: no man is going to put up with a complete emotional trainwreck who can hardly function: thats a receipe for creating a cheater.

“find a friend group that your abuser doesnt hang out with!!” cant, everyone hates me, this friend group is the most successful one ive ever had, im scared of making new bonds, theyll all leave eventually.

“make online friends!!” i have very negative experiences with online friends, id rather not.

“seek professional help!!” already tried, didnt work, they would call the cops if they knew half the shit that happened to me, therapy is not the solution to everything.

“why did u say u lied in the first place...?” bc my abuser going to jail/being confronted by all of this wouldve destroyed my family. i couldnt let that happen.

“why did u expect ur abuser to be understanding and grateful..? they’re an abuser lol...” bc after the whole thing blew up and everyone hated me, we had a mutual agreement and understanding to make it water under the bridge in order to protect our family. guess i was wrong to think he cared about them.

“what do u want me to say then lol... ur not willing to help urself” i cant help myself. “my hands are tied” is the biggest understatement of the century.

this post is not to find my cure. i didnt make this post because i want people in my dms showing me that they’re concerned.

if ur concerned about me harming myself, dont be. you have my 100% guarantee that i will not self-harm or attempt suicide. i gave up on that years ago.

this post is to vent.

this post is for people who are in similar situations as me. people who cant find a way out. people who cant turn to escapes such as drugs. people who protect their abuser whether out of love or for the sake of others.

you’re not the only one. i understand. i know. its hard. you’re drowning. no one will grab your hand no matter how much you reach out. in the rare cases that someone does come you pull away. you’ve lost the best years of your life to trauma and mental illness. it feels like theres no point. nothing helps. nothing works. you’re practically a zombie. you often trigger yourself to cope. you just want the pain to end. you dont want to feel anymore. you want to feel something. you dont want to remember. you want to be loved. you want a sign that you belong here. you want to enjoy life. you want to die. you’re afraid of living but you’re afraid of death.

i’m so sorry you’re hurt. i hope you find peace and salvation in a safe manner. i hope you heal and enjoy life to the fullest.

dont really know how to end this. i hope we’ll all be okay. i hope everyone whos been traumatized can find peace on earth. i hope breathing can start to feel a little easier. sorry this is so long. take care of yourselves.

#depression #traumacore #ventcore #Ptsd #Suicidal thoughts #depressing thoughts #venting #abuse #child abuse #anxiety #bpd #adhd #Suicide #borderline personality disorder #post traumatic stress disorder #Self harm #personal

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somnilogical · 4 years

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davis tower kingsley (listed here on the cfar instructor page) who harassed a cis woman about her appearance another cis women reported this to acdc (the people who wrote the thing about how brent was great) and afaict they did nothing, claims that if trans people and gay people dont "repent and submit to the pope" they will burn in hell, defended the spanish inquisitions, wrote about how the mission system werent actually abductions, slavery, forced conversions and this was propaganda, defends pretty much any atrocity that an authority, "believes" the catholic god exists and does not try and destroy them, submits to them. and so much more.

born into another era they would actually work for the california mission system and say it was good.

said thing that cached out to that emma and somni should repent and submit to the rationalist community. wrote up a rant about "how about fuck you. go lick the boots of your dark mistress anna salamon." didnt send. got kicked by some rationalist, reasoning is probably that what id say would disrupt their peaceful machinations of omnicide, would be infohazards, because... the information is hazardous to their social order.

a few of these things are subjects of future blog posts.

cfar has never hired a trans woman, i have lots of logs of them trying to do what people did to porpentine. claiming emma thinks torturing children is hot, claiming emma was physically violent, claiming emma was indistinguishable from a rapist, claiming ziz was a "gross uncle style abuser", claiming somni was enticing people to rape, claiming that anna salamon was a small fragile woman and ziz was large and had muscles. as if any of our strength or speed had anything to do with our muscles in this place. all of these things are false except relative size difference between ziz and anna which is just transmisogynistic and irrelevant.

if they lie about are algorithms claim that we are using male-typical strategies and then they can fail by these lies and be sidelined by callout posts that transfered 350,000$ from miri despite their best efforts to cover this up. (all benefited by having relative political advantagr flowing from estrogenized brain modules. men are kind of npc's in this particular game of fem v fem cyberontological warfare for the fate of the multiverse, mostly making false patriarchal assumptions that ziz was doing things for social status. like status sensitivity is hormonally mediated, your experiences are not universal. or saying like kingsley is saying that people should repent and submit to whatever authorities in the rationalist region they submit to. NO. FUCK YOU. i will not repent and submit to your abusive dark mistress anna salamon.

i knew anna salamon was doing the edgy "transfems are all secretly male" thing before i talked with ziz. it was a thing, {zack, carrie}, ben hoffman, michael vassar were also in on it. ppl had men trapped in mens bodies on their bookshelves because the cool people were reading it. didnt think she was being *transmisogynistic* about it until i talked with ziz. in retrospect i was naive.)

also? anarchistic coordination ive had with people have been variously called lex's cluster, somni's cluster, ziz's cluster by authoritarians who cant imagine power structures between people that arent hierarchical. like based on who they want to say is "infohazardously corrupting people" emma goldman had to deal with this shit too where the cops tried to say she was friends with anyone who thought anarchism made sense. people she didnt know at all who did their own anarchism. because authoritarians dont think in terms of philosophy, they think any challenge to their power is a disease that needs to be eliminated and you just need to doxx their network.

like if ziz and somni and emma were all actually infohazardous rapists as people keep trying to claim we are and then saying "oh no i didnt mean it i swear" and then doing it again. what would happen isnt that a bunch of infohazardous rapists start talking and working together for a common goal. what actually happens with people of that neurotype is they partition up the territory into rival areas of feeding on people like gangs do.

like they dont get together and start talking a lot about decision theory and cooperate in strange new ways.

not that the people lying about emma, ziz, gwen, somni and others are trying to have accurate beliefs. they are trying what all athoritarians try with anarchist groups. unfortunately for them, ive read the meta, i know dread secrets of psychology and cooperation that they claim are like painful static and incomprehensible, yet despite being "incomprehensible" are almost certainly harmful. if harm is to be judged against upholding the current regime, and the current regime is evil, then lots of true information and good things will look harmful. like ive tested this out in different social spheres what people claim is "incomprehensible" is the stuff that destroys whatever regime they are working in. like someone said i sounded like i was crazy and homeless and couldnt understand me when i pointed out that reorienting your life, your time, your money, to a human who happens to be genetically related to you for 16 years is altruistic insanity. just do the math. eliezer, anna, michael, brian tomasik all once took heroic responsibility for the world at some point in their lives and could do a simple calculation and make the right choice. none of them have children.

pretending that peoples "desires" "control them", when "desires" are part of the boundary of the brain, part of the brains agency and are contingent on what you expect to get out of things. like before stabbing myself with a piece of metal would make me feel nauseated, id see black dots, and feel faint. but after i processed that stabbing myself would cure brain damage and make me more functional, all this disappeared.

most people who "want" to have children have this desire downstream of a belief that someone else will take heroic responsibility for the world, they dont need to optimize as much. there are other competent people. if they didnt they would feel differently and make different choices.

you can see the contingency of how people feel about something on what they get out of it lots of places. like:

<<Meanwhile, a Ngandu woman confessed, "after losing so many infants I lost courage to have sex.">>

but people lie about how motivation works, in order to protect the territory of saying "well i just need a steady input of nubile fems so i can concentrate and be super altruistic!" or "i just need spend 16 years of life reorienting around humans who happen to be genetically related to me and my friends so i can concentrate and be super altruistic!" when neither of these are true. these people just want nubile fems, they just want babies. (the second one has much much less negative externalities though. you could say i am using my female brain modules to say "yeah the archetypically female strat, though it has the same amount of lying, is less harmful". but like it actually is less directly harmful. the harm from gaslighting people downstream of diverting worldsaving resources and structure to secure a place to {hit on fems, raise babies} is ruinous. means that worldsaving plans that interfere with either of these are actively fought. and the knowledge that neither of these are altruistic optimizations, neither is Deeply Wise they are as dumb in terms of global optimization as they seem initially, is agentically buried.

this warps things in deep ways, that were a priori unexpected to me.)

this is obvious, but when i talk about it, the objection isnt that it doesnt make utilitarian sense, the objection is that "im talking like a crazy person". authoritarians say this to me too when i assert my right to my property that they took, act like im imposing on them. someone else asked if i could "act like a human" and do what he wanted me to do when i was thinking and talking with my friends. all of these things authoritarians have said to me "act like a human" "talk like a normal person i cant understand you" were to coerce my submission. they construct the category of "human" and then say im in violation of it and this is wrong and i should rectify it. i am talking perfectly good english right now. you can read this.

anna salamon, kelsey piper, elle, pete michaud, and many others all try to push various narratives of somni, emma, ziz, gwen and others being in the buckets {RAPIST, PSYCHO, BRAINWASHED}. im not a rapist, im not psychotic, im not brainwashed. before ziz came along, people were claiming i was brainwashing people, its a narrative they keep reusing.

porpentine talks about communities that do this, that try and pull trap doors beneath trans women:

<<For years, queer/trans/feminist scenes have been processing an influx of trans fems, often impoverished, disabled, and/or from traumatic backgrounds. These scenes have been abusing them, using them as free labor, and sexually exploiting them. The leaders of these scenes exert undue influence over tastemaking, jobs, finance, access to conferences, access to spaces. If someone resists, they are disappeared, in the mundane, boring, horrible way that many trans people are susceptible to, through a trapdoor that can be activated at any time. Housing, community, reputation—gone. No one mourns them, no one asks questions. Everyone agrees that they must have been crazy and problematic and that is why they were gone.>>

https://thenewinquiry.com/hot-allostatic-load/

(a mod of rationalist feminists deleted this almost immediately from the group as [[not being a good culture fit]], not being relevant to rationalism, and written in the [[wrong syntax]]. when its literally happening right now, they are trying to trapdoor transfems who protest and rebel asap. just like google.)

canmom on tumblr talks about the strategic use of "incomprehensibility" against transfems. and how its not about "comprehensibility". i have a different theory of this, but her thing is also a thing.

<<Likewise, @isoxys recently wrote an impressively thorough transmisogyny 101, synthesising the last several years of discussions about this facet of our particular hell world. But that post got just 186 notes, almost exclusively from the same trans women who are accused of writing ‘inaccessibly’.

Perhaps they’d say isoxys’s post is inaccessible too, but what would pass the bar? Some slick HTML5 presentation with cute illustrations? A wiki? Who’s got the energy and money to make and host something like that? Do the critics of ‘inaccessible’ posts take some time to think about what kind of alternative would be desirable, and how it could be organised?>>

https://canmom.tumblr.com/post/185908592767/accessibility-in-terms-of-not-using-difficult

alice maz talks about the psychology behind the kind of cop kelsey piper, david tower kingsley, elle and others are:

<<the role of the cop is to defend society against the members of society. police officers are trivially cops. firefighters and paramedics, despite similar aesthetic trappings, are emphatically not. bureaucrats and prosecutors are cops, as are the worst judges, though the best are not. schoolteachers and therapists are almost always cops; this is a great crime, as they present themselves to the young and the vulnerable as their friends, only to turn on them should they violate one of their profession's many taboos. soldiers and parents need not be cops, but the former may be used as such, and the latter seem frighteningly eager to enlist. the cop is the enemy of passion and the enemy of freedom, never forget this>>

https://www.alicemaz.com/writing/alien.html

anna salamon wrote a thing implying that ziz, somni, gwen suffered some sort of vague mental issues from going to aisfp. (writing a post on this.) alyssa vance tried to suggest i believe cfar is evil because im homeless. but sarah constantin, ben hoffman, {carrie, zack}, jessica taylor (the last three who have blogged a lot about whats deeply wrong) (not listing others because not wanting to doxx a network to authoritarians, who just want to see it contained. and the disease of "infohazards" eradicated.) are not homeless and ive talked with many of them and read blog posts. and they know that cfar is fake. jessica (former miri employee) left because miri was fake.

anna and others are trying to claim that theres some person responsible for a [[mass psychotic break]] that causes people to... independently update in the same direction. and have variously blamed it on ziz, somni, michael vassar. but like mass psychotic breaks arent...really a thing, would not be able to independently derive something, plan on writing a blogpost on it, and then see ben hoffman had written http://benjaminrosshoffman.com/engineer-diplomat/ and i was like "ah good then i dont have to write this." and have this happen with several different people.

like this is more a mass epistemic update that miri / cfar / ssc / lw are complicit in the destruction of the world. and will defend injustice and gaslight people and lie about the mathematical properties of categories to protect this.

they all know exactly what they are doing, complicity with openai and deepmind in hopes of taking the steering wheel away at the last second. excluding non-human life and dead humans from the CEV to optimize some political process, writing in an absolute injunction to an fai against some outcome to protect from blackmail when that makes it more vulnerable.(see:

https://emma-borhanian.github.io/arbital-scrape/page/hyperexistential_separation.html

hyperexistential separation: if an fai cant think of hell, an fai cant send the universe to hell in any timeline. this results in lower net utility. if you put an absolute injunction against any action for being too terrible you cant do things like what chelsea manning did and i believe actually committed to hungerstriking until death in the worlds where the government didnt relent, choosing to die in those timelines. such that most of her measure ended up in a world where the government read this commitment in her and so relented.

if chelsea manning had an absolute injunction against ever dying in any particular timeline, she would get lower expected utility across the multiverse. similarly, in newcombs problem if you had an absolute injunction against walking away with 0$ in any timeline because that would be too horrible, you get less money in expectation. for any absolute injunction against things that are Too Horrible you can construct something like this.

a lot of humans seem to be betting on "nothing too horrible can happen to anyone" in hopes that it pays off in nothing too horrible happening to you.

the end result of not enacting ideal justice is the deaths of billions. at each timestamp saying "its too late to do it now, but maybe it would have been good sometime in the past". with the same motive that miri wants to exclude dead people from the cev, they arent part of the "current political process". so you can talk about them as if they were not moral patients, just like they treat their fellow animals.

(ben hoffman talks about different attitudes towards ideal justice coming upon the face of the earth.)

https://emma-borhanian.github.io/arbital-scrape/page/cev.html

cev:

<<But again, we fall back on the third reply: "The people who are still alive" is a simple Schelling circle to draw that includes everyone in the current political process. To the extent it would be nice or fair to extrapolate Leo Szilard and include him, we can do that if a supermajority of EVs decide* that this would be nice or just. To the extent we don't bake this decision into the model, Leo Szilard won't rise from the grave and rebuke us. This seems like reason enough to regard "The people who are still alive" as a simple and obvious extrapolation base.>>

https://emma-borhanian.github.io/arbital-scrape/page/cev.html

this is an argument from might makes right. because dead people and nonhuman animals cant fight back.

->"i think we should give planning of the town to the white people, then extrapolate their volition and if they think doing nice things for black people is a good idea, we'll do it! no need to bake them in to the town planning meetings, as they are arent part of the current political process and no one here will speak up for them."

i dont plan to exclude dead people or any sentient creatures from being baked in to fai. they are not wards of someone else. enslaving and killing fellow sentient life will not continue after the singularity even if lots of humans want it and dont care and wont care even after lots of arguments.) and so much else.

the list of all specific grievances would take a declaration of independence.

like with googles complicity with ICE having a culture of trapdooring transfems (for some reason almost the only coherent group that has the moral fiber to oppose these injustices, that is p(transfem|oppose injustice in a substantiative way) is high, not necc the reverse.) who question this sort of thing.

thinking of giving sarah constantin a medal thats engraved with "RIGHTEOUS AMONG CIS PEOPLE: I HAD SEVERAL SUBSTANTIAL DISAGREEMENTS WITH HER ABOUT LOAD BEARING PARTS OF HER LIFE AND SHE NEVER ONCE TRIED TO CALL ME A RAPIST, PSYCHOTIC, OR BRAINWASHED" thats where the bar is at, its embedded in the core of the earth.

kelsey piper, elle benjamin, anna salamon, pete michaud, and lots more have entirely failed to clear this bar. anna and kelsey saying they dont understand stuff somni, emma, ziz and other transfems talk about but its probably dangerous and infohazardous and its not to be engaged with philosophically. just like the shelter people acting as if my talking about their transmisogyny was confusing and irrational to be minimized and not engaged with. just like any authoritarian where when you start talking about your rights and what is right and wrong and what makes sense they are like "i dont understand this. you are speaking gibberish why are you being so difficult? all we need you to do is submit or leave."

and no i will NOT SHUT UP about this injustice. all miri/cfar people can do at this point is say "the things these people write are infohazards" then continue to gaslight others they cant engage on a philosophical level. all the can say is that what i am saying is meaningless static and yet also somehow dangerous.

it doesnt make sense to have and raise babies if you are taking heroic responsibility for the world. doesnt make sense to need a constant supply of fems to have sex with if you are taking heroic responsibility for the world. people who claim either of these pairs of things are lying, maybe expect someone else to take heroic responsibility for the world or exist in a haze.

the mathematics of categories and anticipations dont allow for the thing you already have inside you to be modified based on the expected smiles it gives your community. this is used to gaslight people like "calling this lying would be bad for the institutions, not optimize ev. thus by this blogpost you are doing categories wrong' this is a mechanism to cover dishonesty for myopic gains.

using the above, a bunch of people colluding with the baby industrial complex get together and say that the "beat" meaning of altruism includes having babies (but maybe not having sex with lots of fems? depending on which gendered strategy gets the most people in the colluding faction) because other meanings would make people sad and unmotivated. burying world optimizers ability to talk about and coordinate around actual altruism.

openAI and deepmind are not alignment orgs. cfar knows this and claims they are, gaslighting their donors, in hopes of taking the steering wheel at the last moment.

alyssa vance says paying out to blackmail is fine, its not.

CFAR manipulated donation metrics to hide low donations.

MIRI lied about its top 8 most probable hypotheses for why its down 350,000$ this year.

anna salamon is transmisogynistic, this is why cfar has never hired a trans women despite trans women being extremely good at mental tech. instead the hire people like davis kingsley.

kingsley lied about anna not being involved at hiring in cfar in order to claim anna couldnt be responsible for cfar never hiring a trans woman.

a cfar employee claimed anna salamon hired their rapist, was angry about it. mentioned incidentally how anna salamon, president and cofounder of cfar, was involved in hiring at cfar.

acdc wrote a big thing where defended a region of injustice (brent dill) because of their policy of modular ethics. when really, if you defend injustice at any point, you have to defend the defense and the thing iteratively spreads across your organization like a virus.

miri / cfar caved to louie helm.

not doing morality or decision theory right. among which is: https://emma-borhanian.github.io/arbital-scrape/page/hyperexistential_separation.html and https://emma-borhanian.github.io/arbital-scrape/page/cev.html

and so much more.

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nomchonks · 5 years

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yesterday was the grand opening. it was successful, for the store. and i think matt had a great time. i was miserable the entire day. when we arrived in the morning, wade was there (expected) but also his creepy friends (not expected) who id never seen before. they were just there, scrubbing the place down, and i had to be like, matt? who are those guys???

i dont know, it felt like an intrusion. i asked matt if he knew they were going to be there, he said yes, i dont have time for this, i have to get the store ready. okay.

he just always assumes im going to help out. how i feel doesn’t even cross his mind. if i could just suck it up and continue on that would be great but also id be a different person from the one he married.

anyway, yes, im biased against those guys because they are wade’s friends. but later one of them had kids there, and he was lecturing them on not touching anything, and a woman that was there was like “he can have his hands in his pockets” and then the guy was like “then he’ll touch himself.” and then he told the kid to stop touching himself and the kid was like “i’m not.” im really bad at knowing kids’ ages but he was definitely old enough that you shouldn’t be saying things like that in public, i was fucking astounded. who says that to a kid when there are people around who you don’t even know?? what??

i forgot to mention the store was now filled with funko pops. they were fucking everywhere. imagine having a really bad day but also there are funko pops all around you.

later my family came and my mom wanted to know who the creepy guy was in the Portals shirt in front of the store greeting people, and it was that guy. so it’s cool that he was creeping everyone out, not just me.

also the toilet in the employee restroom was gross. why are men so disgusting.

wade’s wife was throwing a barbecue yesterday too and i really should have just gone with her, lol. despite being married to wade and having his children she seems pretty cool.

then later matt’s brother in law was there with his terrible art work and matt was telling a customer that they’re going to have a wall with local artist’s work to consign, and i got upset that he hadn’t talked to me about this.* i ended up going into the office to get away, apparently RIGHT AS MY BOSS CAME INTO THE STORE, so matt didnt tell me he was there because he thought i was hiding from him. so i almost missed him completely.

the only reason i came out of the office was because wade passed me to go to the bathroom and as he went he let me know he’d being a number two. why did he share that information with me.

so i came out basically as my boss and his wife were finishing up and leaving and i just said hi and it was fucking awkward and i didnt get to talk to them and it sucked, some time after they left i went into the bathroom and cried.

matt made me tell him why i was upset and i told him and he was like “i did tell you” but that was like, so many months ago. whatever. maybe not in that case but he expects me to work there but doesnt keep me in the loop. later i heard him telling someone they’d start keeping track of people’s points or something... cool... so the girl from domino’s knows more about what’s happening than i do.

later closing time came and went and we were still open. i was in the office browsing on my phone because i hadnt brought my laptop. i almost did, but as i was about to pack it up matt made a face and i was like “what” and he said “it’s going to be really packed today.” it wouldnt have hurt anything to have it with me and there were definitely tables open in the late evening, but i succumbed to peer pressure and left it behind so i was fucking bored AND upset.**

i cried more on the way home and ill probably cry more today (im not going to the store today. lol i dont want to go there ever again). im fine, ill get over it, whatever.

*i have had barely any time or energy to draw because of the store. the fact that i draw has been one of the few constants in my life for so long and not doing it every day feels like something is being taken away from me. maybe that’s melodramatic but idc.

**i tried to put a game on the computer in the office once and matt got mad at me because it’s a work computer. i guess it would harm productivity

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edelblau · 2 years

Text

this is gonna be long and its just kidna like... a reflection on my family bc im feeling some sort of way (this happens peridoically bc of the whole >moving thing), feel free to ignore

to start from the top i kinda wanna begin at the beginning of (my) issues though in reality the cycle of abuse i know goes back to at least my great grandma but like. she was greatly impaired mentally by the time i was born and essentially unable to communicate so idk her at all, i only know vaguely that she abused my grandmother

which lead to my grandmother being.... idk. its very clear to me that she relies heavily on the bible and in specific sees her view of the verses as objectively correct because shes convinced herself shes special, not just in that sense but in the sense that she earnestly believes like televangelists selling the idea you can talk to angels and shit. she uses the bible to justify her hatred and prejudice and Never have to challenge a single thing about herself or her worldview

but even beyond that shes just an abusive and horrible person, from what i understand shed hit her female children with wooden spoons and my grandpa would beat the men until they were bloody and while they ‘got better’ and no longer condone that its... idk

to this day shes consistently manipulative and plays the victim whenever someone tries to establish a boundary or do Anything she doesn’t like, she uses her power as the owner of this house to threaten me and my family on occassion and then when things are ‘good’ pretends the bad times never happened. if you try to call her out on a previous argument though youre villainized because its “over” so theres no point in ever trying to find closure

and my mom defends her for all this despite acknowledging the behaviour, shes very clearly both aware and awre of the psychological effect it has on me, my sister, and even herself but dismisses it because “shes family” and while i understand the complex feelings of “family is bad sometimes” and wanting to love someone despite their history of manipulation and abuse the result is her dismisisng and sweeping under the rug any feeling that doesnt feed into her view of a ‘perfect family’

not that it matter anwyays bc i remember my mom sitting me down and saying i was more like a ‘roommate’ to her to justify her lashing out at me for asking her to turn the tv down/go to her bfs place instead of constantly having him over because the tv was being turned up to over volume 100 (!!!) in the room directly next to mine which caused massive distress to me to the point of suicidal impulses, an issue my mom is both accutely aware of and the cause. she then basically told me straight up to move

i started saving back then because i agreed i didnt wanna spend any time with her anymore because she had progressively started to treat me worse and worse when her bf was around but obviously it was slow going with disability, but dont worry! my mom made sure to suggest selling the house to the grandparents so i would inevitably be cornered (likely since she broke up with her bf and was trying to corner me and my sister into moving out with her which has been a goal for her for a while so she could afford it) which im not doing bc lol id rather be homeless and i have enough of a support system that i can find. somewhere

but of course now shes not with her bf who fucking hated me things are normalizing again and i almost feel like an asshole for resenting her because it throws into doubt everything i feel

its just another complciated relationship and my relationship with my sister is just as fraught because my sister is very kind to me but somewhat sporadically has massive like freakouts where she verablly abuses me and often threatens self harm over what is often. nothing and then when shes fine again basically just pretends it never happened and insists shes mentally healthy and ‘fixed’ herself and will never apologize for any of the trauma or fear shes inflicted and yet i STILL want a relationship with her but at the same time if im anywhere near her m just constantly on edge that a mistake has a 50/50 of being ‘its ok’ or a 30 minute screaming fit at me while i cry and hyperventilate !

my dad is trying to recover a relationship with me but when i tried to finally ask to talk like. ont he phone he ghosted me so fuck him i guess

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kafkasgods · 3 years

Text

faaya

“We'll buy back our own harm with what is most dear to us.” ― Euripides, Iphigenia in Aulis

tw mentions of puke, suicide

Space. Faaya was buying herself space. That’s all it was suppose to be. Just time to sort out her feelings and reevaluate her priorities. Bentley’s confession had made her afraid. Being frozen under the drakon’s gaze had made her afraid. Dayn’s hospitalization made her afraid. Fear was power and Faaya was spiraling, powerless.

The text messages with Luke wasn’t suppose to go that route initially. She had already bought their gifts and she didn’t want the obligations of giving them to weigh on her while she figured things out. She’d give Luke his gift, let Luke give her gift for Bentley as his, and she could step away from the holidays easily. Then somewhere along the way, Faaya thought Luke was going to feel the way she pulled back eventually and she didn’t want to have another talk about it, so she’d let him down on her own terms. While he took it as well as she could expect, the guilt still lingered. Thumb on her screen, Faaya scrolled through the texts again as she sipped her hibiscus tea. Then, she swiped back to mull over Bentley’s texts.

“Faaya?” Glancing up from her phone, Adam got her attention from his seat at the bar. “Not working?”

He was Dayn’s friend, though Adam was a quiet person. She didn’t know him that well, but she had nothing against him either. “Not really. I had to come in to fix something. I’m just getting a drink since I’m here. You don’t visit these parts often.”

Adam lifted his shoulders and spoke only after a moment, changing the subject. “I heard you were with Rune. During the snow in,” he clarified. [6:01 PM] It took a moment for Faaya to remember. Right. Son of Ares. “Yeah, he saved my life and was blessed by your dad.”

“He saved you?” The slight surprise on Adam’s face didn’t really make sense for what Faaya knew of Rune, but she guessed she didn’t know him that well either. She was biased too, anyway. “What happened?”

“You can ask him if you’re so curious.”

“Probably not,” Adam answered, oddly honest. “He did okay though? He was alright?”

“As far as I can tell.” Ice clinked against her glass as she stirred it.

“Alright, thanks.”

A simple guy, Adam paid and left, leaving her with half a glass of her drink left—A light shone from the ground—And his phone, apparently. Faaya was not a nosy person, she didn’t think, but seeing Dayn’s name across the screen along with hers in the message made her curious. He was typing something, but she scrolled up to get some context. [6:03 PM] Dayn Thompson: yea faaya came by once

Dayn Thompson: she was my emergency contact

Dayn Thompson: im changing that to you btw

Adam Hudson: so my phone’s never gonna stop ringing huh

Adam Hudon: how’d that go

Dayn Thompson:

Dayn Thompson: it was weird though

Dayn Thompson: i told her about siding with athena and that was fine but then she started crying and idk it made me super uncomfortable

Dayn Thompson: like were not dating and even if we were we just never did that stuff really

Dayn Thompson: i wouldnt want to start now

Adam Hudson: you guys dated for awhile. wouldn’t that come up

Dayn Thompson: yea but she kept that shit to herself and that was better

Adam Hudson: you sound like a dick

Dayn Thompson: hey if actually loved her then maybe i might feel different but not the case man

Dayn Thompson: yea id definitely handle it better if i like really really cared about them

Dayn Thompson: and faayas just not soft like normal girls it just doesnt look good on her

Adam Hudson: if you didn’t like her why do you keep getting back together

Dayn Thompson: because she lets me ig

Dayn Thompson: its just super easy to get back with faaya if i feel like it [6:03 PM] At some point reading the messages, her heart had dropped. Every fear she’d ever had about Dayn was true and Faaya felt sick. Deep down, she’d always known she was just some play thing for him to pass the time with. There was too much going on around her now. The music, the laughing, the dancing, the lights. She had to get out, it all felt too small. After dropping Adam’s phone off in the lost and found, she drove back home, feeling a numbing in her arms and legs.

Stumbling out of her car, she wanted to hurry up to her apartment so she could throw up the rock in her stomach . The drive had only made her feel sicker. But of course, it wasn’t over. Because there was Bentley standing by her building with his jaw locked and an unfamiliar anger set in his brow bone. It didn’t get better when he saw her approaching.

“Bentley, I told you I didn’t want to talk.” The strength in her voice wasn’t there. Maybe he’d try again later.

“You weren’t going to reply again.” It was true. “Check your phone, Faaya.”

There was no room to argue, so she did so gritting her teeth. A message from Luke with his Christmas gift to her. Why did everything have to be so hard and hurt so much? It was like there was bright and happy future that was out of reach, but beckoning her towards it. The problem was, it just wasn’t possible—Bentley was fragile. Luke was sensitive. And Faaya was afraid. Always afraid. She just didn’t realize how much until now. [6:04 PM] “What do you want me to do? Say sorry and go on the trip with you guys?” Faaya asked exasperated.

“I want to know why you thought it was a good idea to get Luke involved in this. Your problem is with me.”

“Luke’s in the middle of our problems whether we like it or not. I told you I needed space from you. I don’t know how long that is. Luke was bound to read the room eventually and I’d rather have it now than later.”

“Well that’s nice of you, Faaya. It’s super mature and thoughtful.” The sarcasm didn’t go unnoticed. “You know, you’re a real arsehole. I’ve bitten my tongue about it for years because yeah, sometimes the pros outweighed the cons and I used to think, you know what, ‘yeah Phobos made her like this.’ But we’ve reached the point where it’s all just you and it’s inexcusable.”

The onslaught from Bentley was harsh and only filled with truths. It left Faaya speechless.

He continued. “I can’t believe I told you I wanted to kill myself and instead of giving a shit about me, you’re just worried about how it makes you feel. You’re scared about living in a world without me? About caring too much? About you not being enough for me? Well it’s all true and it’s all your own fault.” Bentley was breathing hard, getting it all off his chest. A fist was clenched at his side and his scolding glower was burning holes into her. “You’re a bad friend, Faaya. You’re a worse person. I wish we’d never met. You’re not someone meant to have friends. You don’t have the heart for it.” [6:04 PM] “No, I don’t, Bentley.” Faaya’s eyes narrowed on him as she crossed her arms. As true as it was, attacks were the only thing she knew how to handle. Efficiently and devastatingly. “So don’t bother me again and I won’t bother you.”

Brushing past him, Faaya didn’t feel so sick anymore. She didn’t feel anything, and she wouldn’t. Bentley was right. Certain and solid, Faaya just wasn’t meant to care about anyone else, but herself. It was what she defaulted on anytime the choice had to be made. Siding with Ares had been for her own control. Stealing her biological mother’s abilities had been her own rage. Everything Faaya did was with herself in mind. Being vulnerable had only lead to suffering to her and those around her. There was no reason to fight it now that was clear. [6:04 PM] [ SCENE CHANGE ]

“My kid’s not that much of a bad influence.”

“Bad or not, he was still too much of an influence.” Phobos rolled his shoulder. It’d been a very productive afternoon. “Faaya doesn’t really do well being held back by shit like that.”

Deimos raised a brow. “She can’t be a ‘real natural’ if you have to get involved with her life so much.”

Phobos scoffed, shaking his head. “That’s what parents do, don’t they? Make sure their kids doing the best they can? Faaya wasn’t gonna get anywhere if I left her to her own devices. Besides, I let her have her fun. She’s gotta grow up now. Childhood friends have gotta go. Fuck sentimentality. And I’m bored of the Dayn phase. He’s with Athena now anyway. We just don’t need any of the useless shit.”

Kids always liked making their own mistakes and Phobos let Faaya make those for awhile, but she was better than that and she needed a little push. She’d already been fearing everything he’d showed her, he was just hammering the nail on the head.

“And have you considered the stars of your horror show making a real appearance and countering the events of all your hard work, Phobos?” Deimos asked feigning disinterest, but the slight curl to his lip said otherwise.

“Maybe if you spent more time with your children, you would know them better. Faaya really is a daddy’s girl.”

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pinksweatergettingbetter · 6 years

Text

alright so we’re back with chapter three - the Great Witch

i wonder how much of their memories Nick and Maya have actually recuperated

the whole thing seems a little dodgy...

“This bench looks like a torture tool– shall we try it out on you, Nick?”

why is Maya so bloodthirsty in the game?? i mean she’s mischievous, but...

ahhh their widdle walking sprites are so cuuuute!

hang on– is that a picture-picture of Barnham with his dog?? if so, that should raise a lot of questions...

also why is the only person who *doesnt* comment on the painting Phoenix? he’s the art major.

you know, ive seen plenty of Phoenix X Barnham, and Darklaw X Barnham, but I’ve never seen any Phoenix X Darklaw

i wonder why...

maybe Ive just never come across it

“Mr Wright, are you alright?”

(no response)

he's dead guys the fucking dog killed phoenix wright

luke: I can talk to animals maya: haha omg cool! phoenix, laying in a pool of his own blood: hurgle

wait did maya just call Barnham adorable by proxy

things layton likes: puzzles, stone lanterns

oh fuck i forgot about the puzzles

also what the FUCK muffet

Patty: I believe in your Phoenix

Phoenix, trying not to cry: cool cool cool

aww. its nice to have a moment to just talk about feelings, especially between the sidekicks.

...

...dont go into the forest you little fuckers

maya likes helms..??

“I used to come here with Nick. He’d carry the water pots, and I’d cheer him on!”

that reminds me, theres no plumbing. in fact, since its the middle ages, theres not even any outhouses. maya and phoenix have canonically shit in the streets

DOGS AND CATS, LIVING TOGETHER–

its 12:30 on a school night and I've spent over an hour trying to help a dog deliver mail

oh maya solved that one! thats the first AA solve of the game. ...er, to me.

i dont understand how piccarats work

like, the previous puzzle was 30 piccarats and it was ridiculously easy. this one’ twenty and ive already lost ten points

maybe its to do with how my brain works– the 30 one was a pattern/colour puzzle, and I'm an artist. this one’s about directions, and I'm ASS at directions.

darklaw what are you WEARING

you look like a skimpy medieval furry

seriously what is with the metal skirt on bare thighs

is that supposed to be comfy

man these backgrounds are so beautiful

why did she specifically tell Maya to be wary of witches

“You certainly both love your food. Personally, I’d just like a little more sleep...”

amen bro

oh fuck

Drosselmeyer wants to see Layton. dont let him brainwash ya!

“So this is the deathknell dungeon? Looks more like solitary confinement to me.”

considering the fact that she can see out the door, i doubt its solitary nick. solitary is a sealed box from hell.

Maya: you were just scared that nick would fuck up like always!! because he's an enormous fuck up haha!! Espella: i... no, i think he's really great

Phoenix: ...hey can i change assistants please

OH HO

CLIFF HANGER

one does not simply

visit the storyteller

“come to think of it, during that parade, the storyteller did seem to be held in high esteem by all the townsfolk...”

guys have you not realized that youre literally meeting god yet???

ah see Layton’s got it

c’mon luke keep up

pfft they think Layton’s a hatter

just wearing a tophat does not a hatter make

ah the knights garrison

this is where Chucky stopped playing on his second third-space save

I wonder why...

“And so the travellers finally arrived...”

yeah well first of all??? if you wanted me to get in there faster maybe dont make your door a fucking puzzle maybe

fuck you old man you aint shit

(btw i managed to solve it accidentally in the recommended 4 turns by pressing 3 random buttons and then realizing id somehow succeeded)

Storyteller: [farts suspiciously]

Storyteller: you guys are bad because you stopped me killing children

Layton:

“OOPS”

DUFLUS SHFLS

LUKE ITS OK

I LOVE YOU TOO MUCH TO BE MAD

Espella: it’s true... that the towns folk look at me in a different way

well for one thing youre a different art style than most of them without being anything usually associated with said art style

oh ok that i was not expecting

she’s,,, jesus???

Maya spitting truths here

wait hang on a second

first of all– “the great witch is just a character of myth” yeah well EVERYONE is a character, Espella

also, she says she came to live with Patty 5 years ago... which is also what Phoenix and Maya said

when their memories all got altered to include phoenix and maya, does that mean they like, had a whole growing-up-together for five years roster of memories?

13 y/o Espella and Maya meeting, bonding over stuff, wondering why only Maya had to make bread and Espella didnt

Phoenix–– hell, in the time frame, he’d be ‘Pheenie’ being their older brother. Acting like his 25 y/o self, or harkening back to those days and acting accordingly??

and how shitty it must’ve been when they realized none of it ever happened.

“Were these things... My memories?”

well probably not considering im pretty sure that tiny kid being flown over was you

i feel bad for nick’s... wherever is getting bitten, but this does lend credence to my headcanon that animals hate phoenix so

also the inquisitor office theme needs to chill the fuck out

“Exactly what are you doing over there on all fours”

dont do that

“He just sits back and lets his dog bite people, err... I mean, me”

he’s lucky nobody flips the fuck out and bites back. i suppose nobody would dare if they knew it was his dog, but still. not very responsible.

“Dr. Delduke” eh

well now

“He was no witch.” “Why?”

“HE was a man.”

( Welp, can’t argue with that. )

hey!!! equality to witches!! boys can be witches too!!

“Maya... can you get this mutt away from me? I can’t feel my leg.”

“Aww... So soon? I was hoping he’d use you as a blue chew toy just one more time.”

ok, seriously, what is UP with Maya? I can’t remember her ever being this violent in the original series. Like, she hit Nick over the head with the shichishito that one time, but she wasn’t constantly wishing harm on him??

as much as i appreciate seeing a tiny maya model i fucking hate the cloud puzzle fuck you for doubling up on it

oh i lucked into the answer awesome

this seems to be a running theme...

every time someone looks at the bell tower, they always comment on the bell never being heard. it must be foreshadowing.

wow Jean is very short

...also I'm calling it now, HE DID IT

hmm Greyerl’s voice actress is a little more noticeable than Luke’s...

also OH OK. the fucking bell tower just MANIFESTED OUT OF PURE FLAMES

THATS COOL

“He reacted in a moster peculiar way. Unlike others who saw it, he seemed unsettled, as if he was truly afraid of something”

oh i dunno, maybe the DEMON BELL TOWER???

Maya: only YOU can fuck up that badly, nick!

ok... genuinely, utterly, seriously, why is Maya so malicious in this game? She does tease Nick a lot throughout the series, but its usually in a more playful or goofy manner. A lot of the things she says in this game seem sort of unnecessary or weirdly hurtful... especially since phoenix hasn’t done much to warrant any of them.

hmm

well, I know what happens to Maya

but what the hell is he doing to Nick?

also I do hope there’s a reeeeeaaaaally good reason for all this...

layton flings out his arm to shut luke up skdgkafajkf

wait why did the owl bring them that

“Luke, my boy... We have the need... to rent a steed.”

LAYTON

oh and they fucking did

“You think that’s bad? You should see Nick try and do the laundry– Now that’s a major blunder!”

see that seems a little more in character somehow

especially since its something that seems like he would fail at.

still, weirdly insult heavy...

hey hey

100 coins

“in an alchemy sense”

shouldn’t that be an ‘alchemical’ sense?

“I guess you’re more suited to small, dark, damp places.”

is that a reference to the mushroom thing??

phoenix, in someone else’s abandoned basement: oh no their house plants are dying :( ill water them

this man??? is pure??

“Well well well. If it isn't a well.”

NICK

“Come to think of it... I haven’t noticed any plumbing here in Laborynthia.”

I WAS RIGHT

THEY SHIT IN THE STREETS

“As things stand, Mr. Wright is in serious danger!”

uh the story said Maya would die, not Phoenix. It said he’d be cursed, but Maya would be tried and burnt. You should probably be more worried about her...

great witch: sup guys I'm gonna fuck shit up

game: the following is too horrifying to look directly at; here, have some shenanigans with Luke and that other bard Bardly was complaining about.

“Birdly”

fuck you perhaps

WHY IS EMEER THERE

NOO

also hi Layton you’re looking a bit uh

a bit

...well this hardly makes any sense

doesn’t Layton appear not long after this? also, it’s easy enough to prove Maya’s not a witch; just hand her the staff and ask her to politely turn Layton back.

that or just cry on him real quick; worked for Ash

bweuuuhhh dont cry luke pls

luuuuke

its ok luke magic isn’t real luke

...though from what I’ve heard of your universe, someone could have used Science to turn him into gold and that could be totally real so

just

c’mon in for a hug lil guy

also see yuh all next time for part... four? i think?

#perusing pl vs aa #ooc

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mystic-messenger-writing · 7 years

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wow mc is a big bully for not letting jumin keep his pet spider like people get so attached ya know even if it is a spider i love my pet fish and cats and mice and if someone i dated was like "no we arent keeping that" i say "bitxh dont let the oor hit u on the say out" ya know i wouldnt put up with a vacation home especially if i missed my pet giving birth id be so sa especially since some baby spiders eat their mother after birth! that would be the last time u ever saw it! you have to

seperate a lot of animals after they give birth because they like to eat their children or their mothers. but that couldve been the last time jumin ever seen his pet because of mc. and i bet he would be sad because everyone is sad after they lose a pet. so i really think mc shouldnt have said that or jumin shouldnt have put it in a vacation home. thats so sad. ya know? but ya man love all pets even if they are an insect. people really love their pets like a child or like theyre a part of the family. and also dont let me begin on the stigma against spiders. i will never begin to understand that. theyre is so many double standards when it comes to animals, and it just doesnt make sense. like i really want a pet pig and my mom doesnt even though pigs are just like big fat dogs. im not joking pigs are even smarter than dogs. pigs love cuddles and like to lay on beds and go for walks and likes to go inside and outside but you know what my mom wants instead of a pig? a pet dog! that really rubs me the wrong way. really erks me and grinds me gears. i wish they the stigma and double standards would stop because all things insects, human, animals deserve love and care and happiness and life also because i really want a pet pig. its so sad. you love butterflies and want to save the bees but you gotta kill spiders or put them in a vacation home? you say dogs are pure and deserve no harm, but put rats in small cages, force them to do inhumane experiments and call it science! dont you agree?

I understand where you’re coming from anonny! I wrote that up late last night, I should have edited it more that’s completely my fault, but since the anon who requested it said that MC would be scared of spiders, I wrote it in a way that may have come off as cruel. That’s why I added the part where MC and Jumin do make a compromise, because I think that Jumin would do anything to make MC happy but also stand his ground. And MC did visit the spider, but since she was scared of spiders it would be difficult to have a spider living in the same home as her. It’s like living with your biggest fear, something that would be extremely difficult for anyone to do. And even after the spider had babies, I still didn’t want MC to be mad about it, rather she just wouldn’t visit anymore and let Jumin have his spider pets, if that makes sense.

I’m persoanlly not a huge fan of animals, but I’d never want them to be abused in any way. I even became a vegitarian for three months when I was in high school but that ended up with me going to the emergency room because my iron levels were so low and now I have to eat meat and take vitamin supplements even though I truly don’t like the idea of eating other living creatures. I use to have two dogs but they passed away when I was very young so I don’t really know what it’s like having pets, and that was rude of me not to do research of owning pets before writing the headcanon of MC being scared of spiders.

So I want to apologize to you and anyone else that may have been offended o upset by the previous headcanon of MC being scared of spiders. It was incredibly stupid of me not to consider other’s feelings and how I may have written MC to come off as mean. If the headcanon is too offensive, I can either re-write it or just delete altogether if other’s agree. Again, I am truly sorry if my writing offended anyone and please let me know if it should be deleted.

#Ha look at me messing up again #Please let me know if I should delete it #MMW Talks

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johnnythirteenguns · 7 years

Text

logan, not spoiler free thoughts (it got long):

anyways i saw logan yesterday and im still sensitive from it and i wouldnt know where to begin having a conversation about it with people who want to see it

as a film it’s pretty good. i didnt feel too much time was wasted, if any really, it’s tropey though. so like once it gets going it is point a to b to c to d with no variation and you spot the chekov’s guns right away and you can figure out how it’s going to end half way in. which im fine with as long a movie doesnt patronize me, and i didnt feel logan did. it was just formulaic. but it was good and watchable. there is a lot to be said for exploiting a tried and true formula for story telling but fitting it to the aesthetic of the characters therein.

also although i dont talk to movies i have realized that i am increasingly more involved with reacting to them and i dont know if this means i am more empathetic with the characters on screen because i am becoming more empathetic or if im more emotional and have nowhere to direct that emotion in my real life so i put it all into relating with the characters on a given screen and so when stuff happens to them i just really React.

that being said like im really. tired. of white characters being allowed to use brown bodies as stepping stones and footstools. there are a lot of dead brown people in this film. the main characters are all white. although dafne did an admirable job as laura, if i had the chance id recast her immediately. i wouldnt have cast her at all to be honest. i hope that when an older or adult laura shows up that they cast an actual mexican actress (not a white one). in logan they imply that the babies are clones, but there’s also implication that it was actually just in-vitro using the stolen dna the way you would use donated sperm? unless i watch it again i wont know because the language seemed unsure of itself.

but yeah. i dont. know. it’s literally too much at this point like we’re just constantly thrown under the bus so to save, create, or help white characters. for example, you know the horse family is gonna die, you know it because it’s a Trope. but it’s a black family, and they die gruesomely, which okay, everyone that dies in logan dies gruesomely and violently. but theyre the only black characters with speaking parts, and there is a dearth of them elsewhere in the fox marvel universe. rictor, one of the escaped 23s, is mexican in the comics, apparently so in the movie, and i can safely assume his actor is latinx as well (but he’s a baby and so doesnt have a ton of stuff on his imdb). he’s also the only one of the kids who is shot when they’re being chased through the woods.

i honestly dont know if i would have preferred they keep it on screen or leave it off screen. clearly brown children are afterthoughts anyway? to be used as plot devices and target dummies as needed. i dont know. i do know that i was waiting for it and i thought he was going to die. they do have a line of dialogue immediately after rictor is shot to reassure you that he isnt going to die, which is something i guess.

at any rate i really cant with child death or child abuse in media lately. i dont know how i feel about laura’s self-harm scene. not good but self-harm in media in general needs to be looked at in a case by case basis i dont know about this one.

which btw wow the actress that plays gabriela is straight up from the bronx born and raised in new york and i knew she couldnt be a primarily spanish speaker that accent grated on my ears so badly i would have preferred they find a way to have her speak spanish and english at some point to illustrate their point because whenever she spoke that accent made me desperately wish she would shut the fuck up or get to the end off her sentence if i could somehow physically share how fucking tired i am of fake mexican accents like youd faint for ten seconds from the force of my anger.

like of all the things to be that angry about but it’s honestly just One More Thing at the point and im so tired.

im really over the disposability of brown bodies and i wish it would stop.

all that being said ive been listening to this podcast and my love for the x-men and x-men adjacent characters has grown immensely over the last year and going in i was emotional about film history, about the x-men cinematic history (honestly hugh jackman has brought his a-game every time when playing logan and i thank him, even when the films themselves were lackluster), i was emotional about x-men comics history, like. i really loved how they all chose to portray the characters and the relationships between them and it was really hitting a lot of perfect notes like.

it turns into a really rough father daughter story really quickly and it got to me because of my own father, because of my possible future, it was a lot of deeply personal levels being affected. um, there’s a lot of symbolic stand-in stuff, like the canadian border, brown children crossing it alone (all their caregivers are implied to be dead to the point that they pretty much are dead due to their absence, so more dead disappeared mexican women, along with the dead teenage girls we’re told about much earlier).

i think i may have just gotten too sucked into it and too emotionally invested and am maybe looking at it through too much of a like film student lens because i was studying it for form and execution obviously and i dont feel like tropey is bad, and i say this because there were moments where most of the audience was laughing but they werent particularly funny? like haha funny moments they were a little more light-hearted (and i mean a Little, not much, to me they illuminate how very tired and hopeless logan is in comparison with other characters and the rest of the world) but because the rest of logan is couched so firmly in the same sort of world weary americana (despite none of the main characters being american, which is neither here nor there) that a film like hell or high water is that i didnt find them Funny. theyre still painful moments meant to illustrate a turning point in the characters’ relationship.

i do say this as someone who at this point just completely started crying for the rest of the movie. i was holding it back since close to the beginning because i Do like these kinds of films and stories and so im already primed to get really invested and then it just kept hitting me and. even gabriela running away with laura and how desperate but fierce they as the characters being in that situation really got me.

also there is no stinger scene so dont wait unless you want to listen to the man comes around which i love so i was fine with waiting anyway. also you see a special thanks given to all the comics creators that had a major hand in shaping laura kinney which got me and marjorie liu is listed.

#i dont know why it's telling me disposability isnt a word?

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pitz182 · 5 years

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Is AA Too Religious for Generation Z?

Are today’s mutual-aid recovery groups ready to satisfy Generation-next?“More than any other generation before them, Gen Z does not assert a religious identity. They might be drawn to things spiritual, but with a vastly different starting point from previous generations, many of whom received a basic education on the Bible and Christianity. And it shows: The percentage of Gen Z that identifies as atheist is double that of the U.S. adult population.”Released early this year, Barna Group’s Generation-Z Report (Americans born between 1999 and 2015) surveyed over 2,000 13 to 18-year-olds. The oldest of this generation turn 20 in 2019.According to AA’s most recent triennial membership survey, 1% of AA is under 21—that’s about 20,000 sober teenagers in AA rooms right now. What’s my personal affinity with this demographic? It’s two-fold: I have two millennial children and one 18-year-old stepson; secondly, while I am a grey-haired Baby Boomer, I was a teen at my first 12-step meeting. My 20th birthday was 1980, three months shy of my fourth anniversary clean and sober.I was a second-generation AA member and—like Barna’s youth focus group—my worldview seemed incompatible with the old fogies of 12-step rooms. My mother mused about finding god’s will for her from meditation or her daily horoscope. She was such a Virgo, you know. Horoscopes, higher powers, legends of Sasquatch, these were all fictional symbols as far as I was concerned. Reasonable people didn’t take such constructs literally, did they?Bob K, like me, is a second-generation AA. He’s currently between historical book projects; Key Players in AA History will soon have a prequel. Bob’s follow-up research will produce a book about pre-AA addiction and treatment. At age 40, Bob made it into AA as a result of his dad 12-stepping him. He also was uncomfortable with the emphasis on "God." “When I was a month sober, it was ‘God-this, God saved me’ and I was going to put my resignation in. I didn’t think I could stand it in AA any longer. I went to the internet of the day—which back then was the library—and I looked for non-religious alternatives to AA. They had them in California but nothing in Ontario Canada. So it was AA or nothing. If I tried to brave it alone, I’d be drunk; I knew it.”Today, Bob enjoys the likeminded company at his Secular AA home group, Whitby Freethinkers, which meets in the local suburban library just East of Toronto. If I were confronting addiction/recovery as a teen today, I wonder if I would go to AA or NA? If AA was once “the last house on the block,” today it’s one house in a subdivision of mutual-aid choices. Today, newcomers have access to Refuge Recovery, SMART Recovery, Secular Organizations for Sobriety (SOS), or Medically Assisted Treatment, none of which existed in the 1970s.On Practically Sane, therapist Jeffrey Munn states: “I like to take a practical approach … I’m not a fan of the ‘fluff’ and flowery language that is often associated with the world of psychology and self-help.” Jeffrey came into the rooms at 20, stayed sober for 2 ½ years, relapsed, came back and is now 13 years clean and sober.“I was mandated to three 12-step meetings per week to stay in the program I was in. Since I was young I have been agnostic. I wanted to find a higher power that was common sense-based, but in the rooms I felt pulled towards a more dogmatic spiritual idea of higher power. Back then, I needed to come up with my own conception of what was happening on a psychological level." Recently, Jeffrey wrote and published Staying Sober Without God: the Practical 12 Steps to Long Term Recovery from Alcoholism and Addiction.“I looked at SMART Recovery,” Jeffrey tells The Fix. “I looked at Moderation Management, too—that one struck me as being an organized resentment against AA—I wasn’t feeling it. When it comes down to social support and a practical plan of action, it’s hard to beat 12-step programs. What I try to teach is: if you don’t buy into any kind of a supernatural higher power, navigate the 12-step world, filtering the god-stuff out, working the program in your own way; there is lots that really works.”Barna reports, “Nearly half of teens, on par with Millennials, say, ‘I need factual evidence to support my beliefs.’” Jeffrey hopes Staying Sober Without God—which joins a growing secular 12-step recovery offering—offers the rational narrative today’s youth crave. Barna calls today’s youth “the first truly post-Christian generation [in America].”Certified Master Addiction Counselor David B. Bohl of Milwaukee understands the value of other-oriented care. David tells The Fix: “As head of a 20-bed coed dual-diagnosis treatment center, emerging adults, 18 to 25 years old, came into our care. I wouldn’t say that they universally shrugged off the 12-step approach but almost universally, in reaction to our volunteers, alumni, and traditional AA community, younger clients didn’t want what the volunteers and alumni had. And I wouldn’t say it was the religiosity always. Sometimes it was an age-thing or life approach. So, our recovery management function became that much more important in terms of building individualized treatment that suits everyone.“In the USA, 75% of all residential treatment centers identify as 12-step facilitators,” David tells us. “In the simplest form, our job is to introduce people to the language and the concept of the 12 steps and then to introduce the clients to support groups or people in support groups when they are discharged from acute care.Where trauma is involved—religious trauma in particular—traditional AA language and rituals trigger that shame they feel from negative formal religion experiences.”Let’s put this overbearing religion caution to a real-life test: Suwaida F was the second oldest of 11 children to Somalian refugee parents who fled to Canada in the 1980s.“In Kindergarten I didn’t have to wear a hijab; my parents weren’t super religious. I went to an Islamic school in grade one. It was normal for teachers to have belts with them, they would hit you; child abuse was normalized. They didn’t really teach us that much math, science, history. The Islamic teachers weren’t that educated. My parents took me out and put me in public school. Then, some of my mom’s Somalian-Canadian friends started moving their kids to Egypt. My friends would stay in Egypt two years, finish the Qur’an and the girls came back wearing burqas and head-scarves. Some Muslim friends would come to school in their hijab, take them off and put them back on when they went home. We called them The Transformers.My parents really wanted us to learn the Qur’an; I don’t speak Arabic, so it was difficult. And I never believed it. I asked my mom and dad, ‘How do you know that this stuff is real?’ They got frustrated and mad and said, ‘Don’t ever ask that question again.’ I knew it wasn’t real. Mom got more and more religious. Pictures of her at age 19 -- she wore no head-scarf when she was my age. My mom expected me to be religious and I rebelled. I had to leave home.”Suwaida misses her sisters. She feels unwelcome in the family home unless she is dressed in the Islamic custom and that wouldn’t be true to herself. Away from home, Suwaida found the welcoming community she craved in the booze and cocaine culture.“It wasn’t a matter of having no money; I had no sense of hope. People at work didn’t know I was hopped from shelter to shelter at night. One winter I was told, ‘Suwaida, you’ve been restricted from every youth shelter in the city of Toronto.’” As addiction progressed, Suwaida recalls an ever-descending patterns of compromises, bad relationships and regrets.“Today, it’s like I still never unpack my suitcase; I’m always ready to go.” During a stay at St. Joe’s detox, Suwaida went to her first NA meeting.“At 7 PM, a woman spoke. I made it clear that I thought it was stupid; I wouldn’t share. At the end, everyone was holding hands to pray and I said, ‘I’m not holding any of your hands.’ I didn’t go back. When I was discharged, I went drinking at the bar with my suitcase, not knowing where I was going to stay that night.My second meeting I consider my first, because I chose it. I thought I should go to AA. I googled atheist or freethinker AA to avoid a repeat of my NA experience. I found Beyond Belief Agnostics and Freethinkers Group on the University of Toronto campus. I went there last February. For a while, I had wine in my travel-mug, and I didn’t say anything. In August I felt like the woman beside me knew I was drinking, and I ask myself, ‘What am I doing?’ So, my next meeting, I went sober. I’ve been clean and sober ever since.”Despite the child-violence of Islamic school and rejection from her family, Suwaida isn’t anti-theist. “I do believe in God or in something. I feel like I’m always looking for signs. I don’t believe in a god in the sky but to say there’s nothing beyond all this doesn’t make any sense to me. Sometimes the freakiest things happen. Maybe it’s because I’m a storyteller, I try to make a story out of everything; you think of someone, then they phone you, is that random?I feel a part-of in secular or mainstream AA meetings. My self-talk still sounds like, ‘Don’t share Suwaida, you have nothing to add.’ Maybe it comes from not being able to express myself when I was growing up. I have no sense of self. I guess I have something special to offer but I don’t know how to articulate it. It’s hard; I have limited self-confidence.”“Give them their voice; listen to them,” is Kevin Schaefer’s approach. He co-hosts the podcast Don’t Die Wisconsin. He’s also a recovery coach.“I’ve been in Recovery 29+ years. I’m a substance abuse counselor and I got into addiction treatment through sober living. When I started working in a Suboxone clinic, I came to realize that AA can’t solve everything. I always come from a harm reduction standpoint: meth, cocaine, benzos; I ask, ‘Can you just smoke pot?’ and we start building the trust there.Medically Assisted Treatment (MAT) is geared towards this generation. Most kids coming through my door know a lot about MAT, more so than people in AA with the biases and stigma that they bring. Kids sometimes know more than the front-line social workers. Their friends are on MAT, that’s how they gather their information (not to say their information is all correct). But a lot of therapists don’t understand medication. Medication can be a ticket to survival out on the streets.”The Fix asked Kevin his opinion on the best suited mutual-aid group for this generation.“Most of the generation you’re talking about walks in with anxiety and defiantly won’t do groups.” We talked about the role of online video/voice or text meetings for a tech-native generation. “Yes—where appropriate. Women especially, because from what I’ve seen, most females have suffered from trauma. I have heard women who prefer online recovery; that make sense to me. I’ve been to InTheRooms.com; as professionals we have a duty to know what’s out there. And there are some crazies online.If someone has an Eastern philosophy bent, I’ll send them to Refuge Recovery; I’ve been there. If I can, I’ll set them up with somebody that I know can help them. And let’s not forget that some youth, if Christianity is your thing, Celebrate Recovery is amazing — talk about a community that wraps themselves around the substance user. There are movie nights, food, all kinds of extracurricular activities. The SMART Recovery Movement? Excellent. SMART momentum is building in Milwaukee. They are goal-oriented and the person gets supported whether they’re on Suboxone or, in one case I know, micro-dosing with LSD for depression; they’ll be supported either way. My goal with youth is: ‘Try to get to one meeting this month; start slow.’ Don’t set the bar too high and if they enjoy it, then great.The 12-step meeting I go to, it’s a men’s meeting. There are people there on medication and they don’t get blow-back. I wish more of AA was like this. When I came in, almost 30 years ago now, I saw all the God-stuff on the walls and I thought, ‘Nah, this isn’t going to work’ but thank G… (laughs), thank the Group of Drunks who said, ‘You don’t have to believe in that.’ The range in my meeting is broad—Eastern philosophy, Native American practices, Yoga, I was invited to Transcendental Meditation meetings at members’ houses. I was fortunate to fall into this group. You know, the first book my sponsor gave me was The Tao of Physics—not The Big Book—it was this 70’s book with Buddhism, Taoism, Hinduism, correlated to physics and contemporary science.”So, as to the question that kicked this off, some mutual aid meetings are ready to meet the taste of a new generation; results may vary. Who’s heard: “If you haven’t met anyone you don’t like in AA, you haven’t gone to enough meetings”?The reverse is true, also. If the peer-to-peer meetings I’ve sampled seem too narrow or dogmatic, maybe my search for just the right fit isn’t over. And if I don’t want a face-to-face meeting, there’s always Kevin’s podcast, virtual communities like The Fix, or I can order one of Bob or David or Jeffrey’s books if that’s more to my taste.

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alexdmorgan30 · 5 years

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Is AA Too Religious for Generation Z?

from RSSMix.com Mix ID 8241841 http://bit.ly/2B5JhVm

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emlydunstan · 5 years

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Is AA Too Religious for Generation Z?

from RSSMix.com Mix ID 8241841 https://www.thefix.com/aa-too-religious-generation-z

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rosewoodprincess · 7 years

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Okay so I rewatched LND and I feel like if a few things were changed, I would have accepted it as a more character fitting sequel. Due to it being the way it is, I see it as a more ‘what if under certain circumstances’ scenario.

Madame Giry says they’ve helped Erik but I don’t believe that could have been the case.

Erik escapes from the Opera house alone and I don’t believe he would seek out Madame Giry so soon after the whole ‘i nearly choked raoul to death but told him to take christine instead’ ordeal. I think he would have found a way into gathering the people that now work for him. his musical genius and manipulative skills would earn quite enough willing people and his general personality would have probably found a few more willing participants. A lot can change in 10 years. Furthermore, from what I saw, when Ramin sang as Phantom in LND OLC, he had no mask during ‘Devil take the hindmost’ (favourite song in LND), which would show his face holds no fear around the people he is around now.

How do Madame Giry and Meg come into it? I had a small theory so I watched carefully this time around and compared to all the ballet in POTO, LND does not have much elaborate dancing when it comes to Meg’s performances. Yes, her voice has improved but her dancing doesn’t seem to be as good as before. One way it could work was that something caused her to stop being a professional dancer and, due to the sudden stop, the Phantom helped Madame Giry and Meg, therefore repaying his dept on being sneaked into the Opera House in Paris and having his secret kept for quite a long while, especially after having murdered a few innocent people. Also, it makes more sense than Erik accepting help after everything he did.

Now, we have the set up of Coney Island, why do Raoul, Christine, and Gustave go there? (i have no idea if im spelling the kids name right but I really dont care).

Oh Christine and Raoul do have problems. They do but not because Raoul grew to be an alcoholic that gambles all his money away to the point where his wife has to sing across the world to save them. Nah. Their problem is their lack of chemistry. Don’t get me wrong, they love each other, but I do think that sometimes, love just isnt enough. At the end of POTO, I do believe that Christine decided to follow her heart and go with Raoul but I also believe her soul longed for Erik. Maybe there wasn’t as much romance between them as between Raoul and Christine but that’s understandable. Erik WAS a monster. He killed without thinking about it and tried to force Christine to marry him (he didnt know what love felt like he only had Christine). Christine loved Raoul for the safety he promised and the romantic feelings between them. her heart belonged to Raoul. (the Love never dies and hearts can be broken lyrics made me think of this). She loved Erik for the connection they had through music. Raoul told her she doesnt have to sing, she can have that choice. He protected her. Erik told her to sing and sing and always dare to go beyond what she thought she was capable of.

So yeah Christine and Raoul struggled and they decided that staying away from Paris and all their problems would do them do. spend some family time together (haha Erik comes to ruin Raouls day). Oh yeah also Gustave aint eriks idc what anyone says I dont believe Gustave is Erik’s son. I don’t believe Erik and Christine would have slept together. Not because ‘whoa he ugly’ but because I don’t believe that’s what their relationship in POTO was about. (to summarise, I doubt Erik would WANT to sleep with Christine (”but the point of no return!” yalls shout! “but be logical about the social standards and how Christine wouldnt have slept with someone she wasnt married to! and also Christine was Erik’s muse, first love, first person to not scream and laugh at his face when she saw it. I doubt their time together would be spent on anything other than singing in a boat about the phantom being there and how theres music in the middle of the night while normal people sleep). Anyway Gustave can be a talented lil prodigy have any of yall heard Christine sing in the main goddamn song?

Okay so theyre at the coney island and all goes fine and then Erik is like “hey those final moments in my ‘under the opera house’ home and those 10 years made me realise that I was a bit of a awful human being and i kinda changed but damn christine I still love you” and yeah he grew to be more compassionate. The last moment in POTO literally show him understanding that he cant achieve shit byt being a violent murderer. He isnt a good man, no. he takes advantage of Raoul questioning his relationship with Christine to challenge him to a duel- I mean a sing off that turns into a bet. At least hes trying. He wants to give Gustave all he creates because he couldnt give it to Christine. Also because he wants someone to sing his music and if Christine isnt very willing he might as well go for second best, her child. the rest seems pretty believable considering the above ideas.

Madame Giry isnt bitter about Erik not giving them his music. She knows he cares about Christine. He made it clear that he loves her and Madame Giry is shocked at the humanity in him that she doesnt really care. Also Meg is more important to her than music.

Now, why would Meg take Gustave and then threaten to kill herself? She didnt take Gustave to harm him, but she knew the main trio would pay attention if she took him. After 10 years of not seeing Christine and spending at least half of that time trying to get Erik to write music for her, she would grow jealous. not in a malicious way but in a ‘All I have in life is a mother and a freak show. Christine takes the main song from me and everyone pays more attention to her than me, the star’. I mean cmon who wouldnt be annoyed? She does thing to get attention from others. Maybe she just wanted to know what it was like to have a musical prodigy actually pay attention to you (”Not all of us can be like Christine” way to go Erik ruin the whole moment why dont ya).

Oh, Christine dying? nah. If anyone were to die, it would be Erik. Yes, he could have the happy ending with Christine but it would ruin things for Raoul, who still loves her. Anyway, if Christine dies, I doubt Erik would have it within him to go back to music with as much passion as before. He struggled without his muse, what if she were dead? Now, if Erik dies, Gustave would become the musical prodigy. He’s already everything that Erik could have wished for. Parental love (haha stab me right in the feels). Christine would grieve for Erik but she would have Raoul. Their love, having survived such heartbreak and so many struggles, would have grown stronger. No, it wouldnt be like it was before, but they would make it work. Christine’s soul would always long for Erik and his music but her heart loves Raoul. Also Raoul already went through so much lets give him a break yeah? he just wants a happy family because he has loved Christine since they were children.

So if we were to accept someone dying, I say itd have to be the Phantom. If no death then maybe Christine and Raoul working things out between them but also Raoul accepting that Christine will always love Erik and maybe a happy end for Erik and Christine this time.

anyway, thats how id go about changing some of LND key things but its just one way to go about it (better than original if you want it to work with POTO characterisation)

#POTO #phantom of the opera #love never dies #christine daae #raoul de chagny #erik the phantom #phantom #gustave de chagny #madame giry #meg giry #how do i tag #LND #send me your opinions and also how youd go about changing things in LND that youd think could have worked better

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caredogstips · 7 years

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Katy Perry’s naked vote reveals more than she required | Barbara Ellen

The singer is not the first potent female to apply nudity to raise awareness. But note that humankinds simply dont perceive they have to behave this way

The singer Katy Perry, a Hillary Clinton supporter, has produced a Voting naked video, counselling people to vote in the US election. Madonna responded with her own Voting naked photo on Instagram, demonstrating her bare shoulders, also counselling people to back Clinton, saying that ladies need to support each other. Girls Run The World now they have to get out and start supporting one another. No more misogynist feminists! No more misogony[ sic ]. Get out and vote, wrote Madonna, with good planneds, albeit bad spelling.

The image was later removed, together with the one where Madonna had photoshopped Clinton between her legs.( Stay classy, Ms Ciccone !) Both singers endeavours did the job by effecting a media commotion. Were their actions successful in a deeper feminist room? In my view, quite the opposite.

Its obvious what they were trying to do; in fact, Perry says that her whole target was to be click-bait. In fairness, Perrys video is ditsy-humorous rather than sexualised. Her tits and genitals are blanked out with pitch-dark, modesty-style pieces; her “hairs-breadth” is styled as a rats nest with lollipops sticking out of it. While “hes still” up, Madonnas image simply opened the mark of nudity.

Theyre not the first to call nudity to raise awareness.( Famously, there was the Peta campaign Id rather get naked than wear fur, featuring various supermodels, one of whom, Naomi Campbell, went on to rather tell the side down, by, you approximated it, wearing coat .) Moreover, the latter are doing it for a good campaign , not out of a feeling of the now-routine monetised, sexualised exhibitionism.( I dont are well aware of you lot, but, as a heterosexual lady, Im officially with Kim Kardashians constant updates on the position of her tits and arse .) Likened with that, its pretty cool that Madonna subscribed Perry substantiating Clinton.

However, theres something fear, something distinctly non-feminist about these naked voting efforts. In that, with the semi-exception of the actor Mark Ruffalo, a fellow Clinton supporter( whod previously jokingly promised to go naked in his next cinema ), there were no prominent males opting for the nudity-equals-attention option.

There were no equivalent husbands running around butt-naked with modesty rows and lollipops stuck in their “hairs-breadth” or provocatively reclining their bare shoulders into the camera lens. So why did these improbably famous, successful women do it?

To an extent, wheres the harm? This is an era where retaliate porn edges on epidemic diseases and there have been wretched attempts to shame celebrities with their own embezzled explicit images. Its arguable that by manipulating their own nudity, Madonna and Perry are subverting the world-wide sexualisation of women.

The logic here is that theres a constant scrabble to look at famous ladies naked, to reduce them and all other women to body parts. Well, these famous ladies can play this game on their own terms and youll listen to their theme too.

At which place, the polemic frays and deteriorates. If the status of women feels that the only acces she can authority attention is by taking her robes off, then her word is a shriek lost in a hurricane.

However good the case, it doesnt make up for the core rationale that the quickest, easiest mode for the status of women to get attention is to disrobe. Men simply dont was of the view that they have to behave this acces they envisage the quickest, easiest space to get attention is to open their mouths.

The fact that both these successful women play-act their well-intentioned ethical striptease on behalf of a selected candidate just does it seem even more skewed and desperate.

If, among other things, Clinton is fighting for respect for women beyond their worth( or absence of it) as sexual/ post-sexual objectives, then Id wager that the very last thought she necessitates is for even her boosters to peddle sex.

Foxhunting? Call the dogs off for good

Members of the Holderness Hunt in East Yorkshire, as a brand-new canvas found that any attempts to repeal the Hunting Act “wouldve been” deep unpopular among the majority of the British public. Image: John Giles/ PA

When are people who resist the foxhunting outlaw going to accept theyre drummed? An Ipsos Mori poll says that any attempt to repeal the Hunting Act would be deeply unpopular with 84% of the British populace. The canvas was commissioned by the League Against Cruel Sports, which could hardly claim no bias, but the findings are clear enough. There was also vast opposition to hare coursing( 91%) and deer hunting (8 8 %).

So by an overwhelming majority, the British public expresses the hope that the hunting proscription stay in place. Whod have thought it? Well, actually, most people would. Common sense to indicate that the only people who oppose the hunting forbid are the relatively limited number who hunt. Normal parties are unlikely to say: Well, I dont hunt myself, but I still feel very strongly that they should abolish the laws and regulations censoring the practice of live animals being chased and ripped to parts by hounds, pursued by pony riders in masquerade costume costume.

However often the pro-hunt vestibule tries to chassis this as matters of personal freedom, most people are quite rightly repulsed by the idea of swine being made to suffer and die for what is effectively only a niche boasting seek. In 2016, the vermin control arguing is too becoming silly. There are quite a few city foxes these days. Should we start insisting that competitive cyclists chase them around the streets, must be accompanied by packs of braying hounds? Perhaps skateboarders could join in?

Polls such as this make a mockery of environment secretary Andrea Leadsom went on to say that she intends to take a fresh look at the foxhunting forbid. Heres your fresh look, Ms Leadsom 84% against, and not likely to go down much in the near future.

Sooty and Soo: greatest glove story ever told?

Matthew Corbett with Sooty, Sweep and Soo. Picture: FremantleMedia Ltd/ Rex Feature

Readers of a delicate disposition, please look away now there is news of a Sooty-themed copulation scandal. In the 1960 s, there was a sequence when Sootys creator, the late Harry Corbett, showed Sooty should have a girlfriend, Soo. Some parties, including the displays farmer and a BBC governor, were scandalised, saying it puts in place sexuality into a childrens programme. The issue generated so much contention the director general, Hugh Carleton Greene, had to intervene.

All of which has been indicated by Corbetts son and Sooty-heir, Matthew, in the documentary, Sooty Ungloved , which only enjoyed its, ahem, world premiere in Guiseley, West Yorkshire, where the Corbett family lived for 35 times. Ive yet to view Sooty Ungloved , but Im thoughts a Watergate-vibe, boasting Sweep interviewed with his face in semi-darkness.

In the end, the DG regulated Sooty could have Soo, but that the puppets must never touch( what sordid traditions was Carleton Greene foreseeing ?). What a wonderful tale, entertaining, but also a bittersweet comment on the lost innocence of a person. A lost opening, more; having regard to the possibility, Sooty and Soo could have achieved great things, stimulating school sex-education classes.

Statement will be opened later today