#but tbqh about many things i like

[serenity-the-firefly]

really i think one of my favorite character dynamics is “i don’t actually like you but we’ve been through so much together that i’d trust you with my life and know that we will always back each others calls. but i still wouldn’t trust you with my car keys.” like “we aren’t really friends but we’ve been thrust into an intense situation where you are the only other person i know so now we’re besties.” and “if it weren’t for our years of history i would have literally nothing to talk to you about at this work dinner.” Enemies to lovers has NOTHING on general disinterest to begrudging acknowledgment to discovering that this person is now an inextricable part of your life

#I think its both very funny and very compelling #this is kind of about #the silt verses #but tbqh about many things i like #what can i say i enjoy a relationship where both characters implicitly trust each other on big issues but would literally murder each other #over like paint swatches #thoughts

[aroaessidhe]

2023 reads

The Princess and the Fangirl

YA contemporary prince & the pauper set at a convention

follows a fan who wants to save her fave character from being killed off, and the actress playing her who’s desperate to be free of the intense franchise

when they’re mistaken for each other they instantly hate each other - but after a script is leaked, they swap places to try solve each of their problems - and start to see the fandom from the each other’s perspective

light (since they know each other for like 2 days) f/f & m/f

this is so deeply mid-2010s fandom tumblr. lmao.

#a little cringe yet nostalgically entertaining.... #The Princess and the Fangirl #aroaessidhe 2023 reads #i read this bc i was looking for available audiobooks and this was vaguely on my backlist of aspec books #bc the sapphic girl is supposedly demi-coded - tbqh there’s like maybe one and a half lines that vaguely implies it #I don’t feel like it’s worth recommending on this basis (and since the thing is set over a weekend I would call her greyspec not demi) #it definitely has the silly drama that i praised the last 2 ya contemporaries i read for not having skdjgkjf #the fangirl mc is. a little bit of an insufferable tumblr fangirl. also her parents are con parents so maybe it's inevitable #there’s a ‘my makeup is my armour’ moment….lmao #it kinda talks about misogyny directed at female stars but not about racism which. felt like a bit of a gap #FAR too many HP references. #‘this only happens in kdramas or YA novels’ beloved. this is a ya novel #would have loved more of the artist alley content LMAO #i will say the artist gets an 'ugh too expensive I'll just print it' comment and just shrugs it off without bitching about it. unrealistic #one thing about the AA is ppl love to bitch about things privately LMAO #there's no way you could spend a weekend with someone you've known for years online and not realise it's a different person... #there’s definitely some stuff about fandom and fan culture that’s still relevant #anyway. I think this is more entertaining to read Now than it would have been when it came out (which was only 2019 tbf but..) #and I wouldn’t have read it not on audio. #the thing is people are like ‘wahh pop culture references will age your book!!!!’ but everything ages every book. #and having a book be such an encapsulation of a certain time can be fun and interesting actually……. #obviously sometimes it can be an uncomfortable way (the hp refs in here were a bit) but like. #you know what i mean. nostalgia. that WAS how things were. still are in some cases. why not have books reflect that #will say im so glad i spent those tumblr fangirl years mostly with 0 local conventions LMAO #by the time i started doing cons regularly (not long before i started selling in AA) i was a bit more mature #have to say when it references TAZ i had to pause and laugh for a second akjfhjkds

[undefeatablesin]

I have finished all my Ruza brainrot art (for now, at least) and I dont have the file for the next page of Altar on my travel tablet, so now the question is what shall I draw? 🧐 What sights should I create...suggestions welcome... ✨️

#sin speaking #(im colouring a redraw of an old castlevania piece but thats basically finished too lmao so) #(yall...i have 52 things on my to draw list 😂😂😂😂 I CANT DECIDE!!!!) #(kind of shook at how many people enjoyed that post of feral aloysha tho tbqh 😂 I SEE YOU....DO YOU WANT MORE OF HER?????) #(I CAN DRAW MORE OF HER!!!) #(there is more of her coming actually. bc her and ruza. let me say. they are not platonic LOL) #(and 32 i think people liked that post about my hunter arianna urges so maybe ill do that.......i do not kno....) #(idk dump some ideas any ideas any bloodborne ideas and i will probably pick one or two. or a few. we'll see.) #(i go home tuesday SO)

[sage-nebula]

Gonna be honest: I am halfway through my second playthrough of P5R and I don't get the Akechi love in the fandom. No hate to anyone who loves him ofc, we all have different tastes, but

#i don't hate him either btw but i also just . . . dgaf about him tbh? #like he's Light Yagami w/ a Freudian excuse. that's it. that's all he is. #and that's fine if that's someone's type of character #but it's not mine. and i'm surprised it's so many peoples. #also i don't ship him with joker at allllll lmao. or like #i do think Akechi was thirsty af for Joker. but imo joker does not reciprocate #at all. bc i just don't play him like that even when i did their full confidant #like ik Maruki is like ''i revived him for you Amamiya-kun!'' but to *me* that's bc Joker #a.) didn't want to turn himself in #b.) wanted Akechi to face justice for his crimes - not die #c.) felt sorry for akechi as a victim of shido's #like it's a complicated little cocktail but imo it wasn't love or even like. but that's just me! #idk again tho no hate to Akechi fans EXCEPT the ones who vilify the PTs in favor of akechi #the PTs don't deserve that. they may be extremely stupid (except Makoto & Futaba) but they're good kids still #THEY'RE GOOD KIDS BRENT #(besides Joker is dumb af too not once did he tell them to not discuss things in public. not ONCE) #(he is just as much of an emptyheaded moron as the rest tbqh) #p5 liveblog

[235uranium]

back from the barbie movie and I certainly have Thoughts on what the movie was doing but overall I do think it's worth seeing! it's fun

#☢️.txt #spoilers in tags! #i think what they did with ken is actually really fascinating and while i do get why the movie doesnt focus on his motivations #or the fantasy politics of barbieland #i AM personally interested in them #like his frustration is coming from a legitimate place and the movie does acknowledge that both barbie (margot) and the barbies overall were #Not In The Right and its not the actual solution to the issue of feminism #in the same way that the movie acknowledged that barbie didnt solve feminism and in many cases ended up playing into #the very ideas that prevent women from pursuing the jobs barbie is often shown in #im sure ppl will critique the movie for not going far enough but like. i dont think their point was to make a massive statement? #so much as it was to make a campy blockbuster that gently acknowledges the ways people can so often feel left out #its not the feminist piece of a generation so much as it is a love letter to barbie that acknowledges how shes #an inherently flawed consumerist brand. but one thats deeply cherished by generations and has left a massive pink stamp on our culture #(its probably worth noting that i have generally positive memories of barbie) #(despite being a weird fat kid i never personally felt alienated by barbie and my memories are extremely fond) #(i didnt like baby dolls bc. i never have liked kids but barbie was a fantasy in sparkly dresses) #(she was married to my dinosaur toys. ive always known what im about yes) #my favorite barbies were swan lake a halloween witch barbie and a halloween ghost barbie #(also idk is this an autistic thing for me to only learn most young girls compared their bodies to barbie at like 14?) #(like it just never dawned on me to compare my looks to a toy tbqh. i was more upset by the actual lack of clothing in my size)

[terrorbirb]

There is literally no way to crop my drawing that isn't both an instant dox and also idk not allowed because of disclosure, BUT I am selling one of the first products I designed. 5 year job anniversary is today!

#totes bro #i recently went through my personal tag 'totes bro' #and i really am happy i made so many stupid personal posts over the years because 10 years later its fun to look back #wish i could show my products lol #sometimes its very surreal to know people buy things that i design. not that its like complex or anything #i was watching some videos about like idk art/industrial design idk from people who major in 'design' #i will be real i have no idea if i work in 'design' as a space tbqh because theyre talking about a lot of stuff that i dont encounter lol #well thats not completely true i do have 'pushback' prohibiting me i guess like sometimes people dont buy the thing i design #i don't think people who work in design have like hundreds of products they design it sounds like they work on teams for a dozen or somethi #not me tho i just draw up some stuff and go 'this is your only option' #recently i designed like a product line for a guy only to find out he completely lied about volumes #i also design a commodity product so nothing is like special i think this one is like a dozen lines #with my dolls i try to make scenes like the rooms that architects live in lol #they have such particular spaces which are the literal opposite of my life #where everything is cheap and sometimes disposable. nothing is meant to be looked at. #my house is kitch and filled with stuff

[starberry-skies]

is it relevant to staple my identity to everything i do? prob not. do i kinda have to do that anyway bc otherwise i'll interact w ppl who hate me? yup

#vent kinda #literally b fine with how other people identify. if everyone was fine and like. Normal. abt how other people identify we wouldn't be here #like. who gives a fuck!!! who cares that much!!!!! #if u harass ppl for their identity over the internet then ur weird tbqh #like change starts w/i the community #if we stop fucking hating eachother we can rise up against the cishetallocentric system #(there's a name for that. i'm forgetting the name. damn) #ANYWAY. #like do other shit!!! be fine be normal #stopping queer infighting is the only we can make change ykkkkk #'you're making us look bad' we would quotd unquote ''''look bad'''' anwayyyyyyyy aaaaaaaa #if you care. more about the opinions of cishetallos when it comes to queer issues. more than the mental wellbeing. of actual queer people. #you have it all fucking wrong. #aghhhhhh #discourse posting #and i'm like. sad abt it too that's the thing #this constant *Constant* harrasment starts to get to you yk. #i can only block so many people before it starts to hurt #that so many people in *my* community hate me. do you see how awful that is? #like. idk anymore dude. #ik that was a quick tone shift sorry lol

[pumpkinspice-prouvaire]

pumpkinspice-prouvaire's required les mis fic reading list

enough of u supported me in my half asleep post asking about fic recs the other day so I am providing. If you want a deep look into my inner psyche this is also the list for that hehe. I tried to be strict about only including my absolute MUST READ fics that I adore and have read and reread and reread again multiple times. Also these will be mostly ExR, to no one's surprise. But there might be a few other ships and gen fics in there too. It's under the read more because this bitch is gonna get long

Auto-read authors:

I didn't wanna rec the same authors too many times in my list proper so these are the authors whose works I have read all (or nearly all) of multiple times. The authors whose tax returns I would read if they posted them on ao3. I will be featuring my favourite fics by them in the list

Fiver

dannyPURO

TheLibrarina

quillsand

Petr1chor

defractum

ShameDumpster

vamillepudding

revolutionbarbie

loverism (all of their fics are currently in a privated bookmark but I have faith that they will someday return. loverism if u see this I miss u)

Need_To_Comment_Rising

Multi-Chapter fics/Series/WIPs:

Under My Wings You Will Find Refuge- Fiver: (WIP) This is the most required reading of my required reading list. I can quote passages of this fic by heart. It's my roman empire. PLEASE check this one out if you haven't it is the best ExR fic in existence, it will change ur life I promise

Beneath a Dragon Moon- The Librarina: GOT AU, no GOT knowledge required. Lots of dramatic moments interspaced with some lovely tender ExR

Guided by a Beating Heart -torakowalski: my absolute FAVOURITE Enjolras centric angst fic. Lots of emotion, lots of friendship, will make you ugly sob

you and i walk a fragile line (is this the time it finally breaks)?- UnforgettableJoMarch: (WIP) I am so enjoying following along with this one. Heartbreaking plot with sublime execution and some brilliant lines, so looking forward to seeing this one develop

The Future's Owned By You and Me- quillsand: ENJOLRAS/FEUILLY ENJOLRAS/FEUILLY ENJOLRAS/FEUILLY WHAT MORE CAN I SAY. Absolutely fantastic rarer pair fic with as much (and maybe more) importance devoted to the activism as to the ship

Getting Fucked in Lingerie- downtheroadandupthehill: PWP. ahem. anyways.

(With a Jubilant Shout) They Will Come One and All- zade: PWP. AHEM. ANYWAYS.

True Blood AU-kjack89: Exactly what it sounds like. Vampire Grantaire and Human Enjolras shenanigans

words can be unwritten- defractum: my favourite soulmate au which makes me melt every time <3

Armillaria- RevocablePeril: THE MOST COURFIUS FIC OF ALL TIME. Lots of excellent Les Amis content in general. SUCH a good, massively underrated fic. 121 kudos??????????? You're all insane.

In An Age Without Heroes- ShitpostingfromtheBarricade: Gloryhole soulmates, the prison industrial complex, Oprah.

walls come tumbling down-reptilianraven: They're cute your honor. One of the only high school AUs I will abide by tbqh hehe

Oneshots:

What's a Bed Between Friends?- dannyPURO: if there's one thing you should know about me it's that I ADORE the there was only one bed trope

epiphany- Abidatchery: screaming crying throwing up that this isn't the fandom's most kudos'ed fic. Every word is expertly crafted and absolutely stunning

Vienna Roast- revolutionbarbie: cosy coffee shop au with a version of Enjolras we don't get to see but that I really enjoy

Out of Touch- ShameDumpster: LET ENJOLRAS GET LOVED YOU COWARDS

A Little More Lois Lane- stellatundra: Just a really funny and silly AU in which Grantaire is Superman

Love in a Coffee Shop-tellthemstories: an absolute fandom classic and rightly so. I've read this one so many times and every time there'll still be something that makes me laugh out loud

My anaconda don't want none (at all)-vamillepudding: v funny and sweet ace enj fic with hilarious triumvirate and exr dynamics

The Waiting is the Hardest Part-samyazaz: In this house, we absolutely love a sexy bet

Between Meetings and Midnight- PieceofCait: Enjolras cries after sex send tweet

A Bad Penny- PBJellie: Gay cowboys and sickfics are the ultimate combo for SURE

Leaves in the Void- myrmidryad: lots of emotion lots of friendship this one is so heavy but SO good you guys. It's also a Space AU I know we all love that <3

my heart's been borrowed (yours has been blue)-Petr1chor: P-tri is so good at writing fics where Enjolras is a complete dumbass and he wrote this one especially for me <3 <3 <3

fire in my hands- geode: This is my go to fic if I want a laugh. "Do you like parsnips?" "Yes they're my second favourite vegetable" iconic exchange god bless

I Would Do Anything For Love- Need_to_Comment_Rising: one of my fave ace Enjolras fics with lovely tender ExR. No I'm not biased because I worked on this series, don't be silly

Like Comfort, Like Solace, Like Relief- areyoumiserableyet: The sensation of coming home to the people you love after a long day <3

Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood- sonhoedesrazao: There should be more fics with oblivious to his own emotions Grantaire that's all I'm saying

Trying to Leave the Ground-barricadeur: rly comfy cosy smut fic

YAY ENJOY I'm gonna go lie down now god I hope I haven't forgotten anything lmfao

#fic recs #les mis #les mis fanfic #exr #enjolras #grantaire #and also other characters #god bless everyone who wrote these fics btw #also if you read these fics come scream to me about them

[txttletale]

The "callout post" also calls you antiblack with no evidence whatsoever

i mean that could refer to many things. in february this year i did say some awful shit! it was pretty wretched of me, i was wrong and confidently (arrogantly, even) so. as a result i talked down to Black women, including Black trans women, who were approaching me in good faith & that was shitty & racist of me. i apologized for it at the time & have openly addressed & acknowledged it a bunch of times since, most recently this very month. if someone's still mad at me about that, like, fair enough, don't blame em!

if it's unevidenced it could also refer to all sorts of outlandish shit, like when i got called antiblack for saying 'usamerican' or for acknowledging the basic economic realities of anti-imperialism or that time someone ran a harassment campaign against anyone within five degrees of separation of a trans brazilian blogger on here.

either way tbqh i think it is beyond cynical and grotesque to bring up that completely unrelated incident when baselessly accusing me of pedophilia.

#ask #last ask about this because i do genuinely value admitting and being clear i know where i'm wrong ! #but the maneuver here is so fucking transparent

[ultimateshixiongfuckertournament]

Noncanonicals Tournament Round 1, Match 7

Match 7 is between John 'Jack' Seward from Dracula (shizun/mentor: Abraham van Helsing) and Obi-Wan Kenobi from Star Wars (shizun/mentor: Qui-Gon Jinn)

Propaganda under the cut! (Warning: Propaganda may include spoilers about the characters and their media)

John 'Jack' Seward:

Actual quotes from the letter in which John Seward introduce Van Helsing:

"I am in doubt, and so have done the best thing I know of. I have written to my old friend and master, Professor Van Helsing, of Amsterdam, who knows as much about obscure diseases as any one in the world. [...]

Van Helsing would, I know, do anything for me for a personal reason, so no matter on what ground he comes, we must accept his wishes. He is a seemingly arbitrary man, this is because he knows what he is talking about better than any one else. He is a philosopher and a metaphysician, and one of the most advanced scientists of his day, and he has, I believe, an absolutely open mind. This, with an iron nerve, a temper of the ice-brook, and indomitable resolution, self-command, and toleration exalted from virtues to blessings, and the kindliest and truest heart that beats, these form his equipment for the noble work that he is doing for mankind, work both in theory and practice, for his views are as wide as his all-embracing sympathy."

I feel like this speaks for itself tbqh.

Also, here's Van Helsing's answer to Seward's offscreen summons:

"When I received your letter I am already coming to you. By good fortune I can leave just at once, without wrong to any of those who have trusted me. Were fortune other, then it were bad for those who have trusted, for I come to my friend when he call me to aid those he holds dear. Tell your friend that when that time you suck from my wound so swiftly the poison of the gangrene from that knife that our other friend, too nervous, let slip, you did more for him when he wants my aids and you call for them than all his great fortune could do. But it is pleasure added to do for him, your friend, it is to you that I come.[...]"

The Gangrene Incident is never explained beyond this. Just. Jack sucked Van Helsing canon and real

Rest assured that they are like this from here to the end of the novel

--

See above; also, let's remember the fact that Jackie can apparently do a bang up Dutch accent to give full bodied performances mimicking his professor. Van H also implies that he and Jack are blood-married.

--

Even though they are mentor/student, Van Helsing strongly believes Jack is his equal in many ways and confides in him just for emotional stability. Stereotypically the mentor pushes the student outside of his comfort zone, but it is Jack who introduces the professor to everyone else in the story. Van Helsing tells another character that Jack helps alleviate his loneliness. He writes his "in case I die" memos to Jack specifically, because there is no one else who would understand him better.

Oh also Van Helsing has a running theme of barging into Jack's room unannounced, waking him up gently from his sleep, invading his personal space with little protest.

Obi-Wan Kenobi:

None submitted

#john seward #jack seward #obi wan kenobi #dracula #star wars #abraham van helsing #qui gon jinn

[vidyagamereference]

I have so many feelings about touchstarved character design pt 1 Kuras

So! First lets talk about how his whole outfit is just.... yassified priests garb. Like... the collar, the long sleeves, the "tabbard" straps, the gold. Its all very.... 3 peice suit high fashion is eating a catholic Fathers robes and a protestant Preists robes at the same time. Like the whole suit to me drips power.

Lets count off the different things that imply power to his outfit

Gold and stark white fabric (hard to clean and hard to find)

WELL TAILORED suit (high fashion)

J E W E L E R Y

Religious leader symbolism (Christian)

Fucking EPAULETS???

The hair (weird one but in animated/drawn mediums royalty tends to have longer hair)

If yall told me there was 1 person from Hightown (rich people land) and everyone else was from somewhere else and ONLY showed me the character lineup I'd pick Kuras as the hightowner tbqh.

More analysis under the break

Lets look at his "circles"

I dont have anywhere else to put this so... epaulets look like wings sleeves also imply wings. Makeup = crying gold. Gold bodily fluids = ichor. Ichor = divinity. that is all

A list of imperfect/broken circles/halos on kuras

There's attempted circles with his belts (inturrupted by his buckles and almost always at least two [i'll get to the one on his chest]). The buckles around his thigh in particular remind me of slashed circles.

There is an attempted circle on his chest (implying a flase homesty if you like the theory that veres chest is open bc hes more honest and kuras's is covered because hes more of a lier) that is left open by way of the empty preists collar. Like something religious was taken away. Its highly decorated so i think were ment to see it

The epaulets have some shape language of wings and halos imho and they also continue the trend of doubled up circuits (these are too angular to be circles but square triangular halos were in fact a thing)

His earrings are rayed halos (halos that have sunlight/sunbeams coming off of it) but even they somehow seem inturrupted by his ears when looking at how theres never a perfect circle. Another example of doubling round things

The golden cords on his hip (princely) are also imperfect circles and doubled up round things

What do the doubling up of round things (and honestly most things in some way or another. Makeup, vials on his chest, aprony tabbardy strappy things) mean? I dont know for sure but I'd wager its hinting at a few things

Broken halo

His Angelic body structure (see also: belt talk below)

A duality to his nature

Actually on the topic of halos he seems to imply a lot of shapes of halo! He obviously has the thin circular outline ones (for old testament prophets, angels, saints, Mary, and the symbol of the four evangelists according to Wikipedia), the triangle (less prominently) which is for The Holy Trinity (god jesus and the holy spirit),

and somewhat also (weirdly) square halos. Which was for.... *checks notes* celebrities who wanted to be painted like their blorbo jesus and friends... dont beleive me? Look at the fancy "not a belt buckle" thing he has and if its NOT giving painting frame I'll eat it.

Looking at the belt buckle square halo thing again it has been crossed out which makes me think that maybe kuras hates the rich and idolitry (komrade Kuras)

Another word for halo is glorihole. That is apropos of nothing i just had to learn that and yall do too now. Youre welcome

Anyways back on the topic

His too many belts moment at the hips really makes me think of the standard idea of a biblically accurate angel. Yknow. Rings of eyes around a central flame are a common depiction, the hidden rings on the inside are studded to look like false eyes to me. Especially so hidden behind a decorative false belt

The hiding of so much black (another dye reserved for royalty) under such pristine white makes me think hes lying to us, or at best putting up a facade.

THE ABOVE BEING SAID he only has two stripes of true black, the rest is a humble brown. And the belts look like theyre holding something in. I think theres a third layer to him

Layer 1: The Good Doctor Kuras Of Lowdown. Friends? You mean people im around so nobody suspects I'm not human! Yes i am human man and i eat human food!

Layer 2 possibilty a: MWAAHAHAHAHAHA I AM EEEEVILLLLLLL A FALLEN ANGEL!!! THIS IS WHAT YOU WANTED ISNT IT?!?! [Edgelore noises] [terrified screams of those who just realized this edgelord could kill us all]

Layer possibly b: this is the [insert accurate adjective here] of a killer bell- I MEAN MC. emotions. Like 300 gallons of them in one sitting. Possible 0 sum game. More likely hes a living nuke and will Go Off somehow

Layer 3: hey I'm feeling less catholic guilt can i still go sorta wild ish and not be eeeevillll? And also maybe kiss? Also I'm not actually baby I'm just unsure of how to be myself in this new way will you help me figure it out [happy ending noises]

So yeah tell me if i missed anything :]

@hollana

#touchstarved character design #touchstarved #touchstarved theory #touchstarved kuras

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for faking orgasms?

This might come as a shock given the title but I'm a man, and so is my boyfriend. However I'm much more sexually experienced than him, as in I'm his first sexual/romantic partner meanwhile I've had sex with at least 30 different guys before. I also generally have a more consistent libido, and I'm desensitized down there to a degree, AND I also often get stuck in my own head due to certain neuroses and ocd and whatnot -- all this to say, it's REALLY hard for me to reach a real climax with another person.

And my bf is aware of this. I've told him many times. I've also reassured him (truthfully!) that partially due to this, an orgasm is not the end-all-be-all of sex for me, and that I can absolutely enjoy myself without "finishing." And if he still feels bad, I will not only take a backrub or something essentially as a replacement for him making me finish, but I in fact often prefer it. I promise I've tried everything; this is not a communication issue.

But. Basically no matter what I say or do, he just doesn't believe me. Or he isn't capable of accepting it, idk. He's insistent that it makes him bad at sex and it means he couldn't please me if I don't come... all the while that he almost never actually takes initiative to do any dominant role? So tbqh he's not totally wrong about that self-assessment but it's still ridiculous bc he doesn't even know WHY? Anyway.

Telling him things that he could do to ever make it better doesn't really work either, because the moment I "criticize" him during sex, even if it's just telling him to move his legs into a different position, he often takes it incredibly personally and just stops wanting to have sex altogether bc he's suddenly not in the mood. And if it's after he's finished, he's basically conked out. He never has any energy by that point except to more or less demand that I come, as nowadays he counts my capacity to jerk off afterwards as something evident of his "ability to please me," I guess. By that point, I'm still just jerking off by myself while he plays on his phone or falls asleep next to me, which I hate and find a huge turn-off and have expressed multiple times that it's at least "weird" and "funny" to do so. But he keeps doing it.

Inb4 the most likely majority response to a lot of this: I'm aware that we're clearly not that sexually compatible. But leaving the relationship is not an option even if I wanted to. The routine of us having sex is, regardless of exactly how satisfying it is, essentially necessary to our mutual happiness.

Now that that's out of the way, here's the real meat: I've decided relatively recently to just... pretend to come. I can often get to a sort of mini-orgasm long before a real one is on the horizon and I just kind of exaggerate that. It really turns him on, and it gets rid of any of the tension that would otherwise be there once we're both done, and I'm able to either fall asleep or otherwise move on in peace.

Now obviously, this is lying, and I don't like having to lie, and also if he ever realizes that I fake them then he's gonna feel even worse than when I outright say I didn't come. But clearly it's also causing strife to be truthful, and it's also not that hard to fake it. Whatever I communicate to him is at best forgotten - and it most likely *is* genuine, innocent forgetfulness bc he has severe ADHD. I'd likely never know if it happened that he is straight up ignoring what I say. In any case it's to a level that it just seems like my only solution is to fake it.

Does he have a right to know if I haven't actually come? AITA?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[henrysglock]

[Lumax voice] Turn Around, Look At What You See! In Their Face...

(If you couldn't already tell: I have finally lost all my marbles.)

I'm sure this has occurred to other people by now, but if El's memories leading up to the 4.07 monologue are ripped directly from Brenner's (<- slayful Nat post, required viewing), and she runs in to see One killing Two...then doesn't it stand to reason that that is what Brenner saw when he ran into the Rainbow Room in 1979?

Now before anyone hops in to correct me: There's definitely a version of things where Brenner finds El alone in the rainbow room after the massacre. That's not in question. We all know that happened at some point.

(Regardless of the manner of death...no broken bones or gouged eyes...okay!)

However, as I'm sure we're all aware...these guys are different guys.

(This detail has been beaten into the ground but always bears repeating)

So, what is in question is what close-up Brenner saw when he ran into the Rainbow Room.

Those duplicate memories appear to belong to close-up Brenner:

i.e. not the Brenner who runs in and sees El at the start of 4.08. (This isn't to say that that Brenner doesn't have those memories or similar ones, but he's not the Brenner whose memories are being featured. Begone, thot.)

So, arguably, if El has close-up Brenner's memories...then she should be running in and seeing what he saw, no?

So what did he see? Someone just slightly shorter than him, who walked close enough to warrant a tight shot.

That POV (as has been discussed ad nauseam by many) is far too tall to be any version of El:

But it is about the right height for someone a few inches shorter than Brenner...something like:

So, tl;dr: I want to play a clip for you.

I love choreography and camera work. That's art right there.

However, that video doesn't include the subtitling that accompanies the visuals that link El finding One to Brenner finding El:

Now, it's difficult to compare anything after this point (though not impossible, can't keep a south Wisconsin boy down. I will be using them for comparisons later)...because of course that's when weird, random blood starts appearing:

Hence, the clock is visibly frozen after that point:

This smacks, to me, of the same kind of shit that happened with 004 when the kids were bullying El—Scenes that never actually happened in the real past being spliced into a tape that cuts off and then picks back up like no time had passed/nothing had been spliced in. It makes more sense if you read the post I linked, since the video in that post makes my point clearly.

< TANGENTIALLY RELATED >

The anime nerd in me is tempted to liken this whole deal ^ to JJBA/DIO's time-stopping stand "The World" in...that's right...Stardust Crusaders, wherein DIO pause time for everyone but himself, which I'm certain others have done as well.

Tbqh...I'm still here:

Specifically a reference to The World/DIO vs Star Platium/Jotaro, both of which are time-stopping stands...(Much to think about irt Jotaro/Star Platinum developing time-stopping powers later on in terms of El, sure, but also in terms of "Everything was hard for [One]...He walked in here, and it was like something had changed. He told me he had figured it out.").

[Distant screaming as I'm forcefully prevented from going on a "Stardust Spider-Stardust Crusaders-Dio Brando-Joestar Family-Dio's Bone-Green Baby-Green, Green Grass of Home" tangent in this post...and don't get me started on DIO's regen healing/vampirism from the ancient stone mask...don't get me started on King Crimson and Golden Experience Requiem either...]

Not to mention the DIO reference with One linking this scene to (you guessed it) Edward Munson:

Edward Creel proven once again, but this time it's via goddamn JJBA and Brenner fuckery. (And yes, yes, I know about DIO the band. This ain't about her. Things can have multiple meanings. It was a Choice to associate Henward with DIO and Eddie with DIO. I rest my case.)

< ANYWAY, TANGENTS ASIDE >

As I said earlier, close-up Brenner is shot at a distance baby El could never have achieved. She passes out on the far side of the room, entirely too far away to have been anywhere near close enough for a close-up of Brenner's face, height aside.

However, ignoring the blood fuckery and disappearing gate cracks:

Some-One else has enough energy left to walk towards the doors. All the way over, in fact. So while those close-up shots are 100% out of range for post-gate baby El, they're very much in-range for 3:46 PM One.

Tl;dr: It's entirely possible, if not likely (based on the choreography and camera-work in these scenes) that close-up/angry Brenner was addressing One rather than baby El.

#st nina project #henry creel #el hopper #martin brenner #stranger things and jojo's bizarre adventure

[rendevok]

Do you have headcanons for nrmt in 7yg? Like how would they communicate right after disbarment and during it?

7yg nrmt headcanons you say?

You have no idea the can of worms you just cracked open. 7yg is pretty much my favorite phase for them, and my hcs for that era feel endless. I’ll try to reel it in, but i’m extremely not normal about this topic.

Pertaining to whether or not they’re even talking: at the start of it, I definitely envision the scenario as Edgeworth being abroad for his legal studies, and Phoenix not really having the time, energy, or interest to make a call to deliver the news. Phoenix has to somehow secure meals for himself and a young girl, so telling people is probably low on his list of priorities. Still, I’m sure visits from friends would trickle in. He wouldn’t be opposed to seeing friends at first, but with each subsequent response to the news of his disbarment, he’d dread the inevitable (Edgeworth). I don’t think he would avoid Edgeworth entirely; he’d accept phone calls and maybe entertain a vague life update, partly to maintain a sense of normalcy for himself, but mostly because he wants to avoid whatever the hell Edgeworth would have to say about it all. However, he can only skirt around the truth for so long, and Edgeworth isn’t completely out of touch with social cues from a close friend like Phoenix to not realize he’s withholding something. Edgeworth being himself and this being about Phoenix… I don’t think he’d be in the dark for much longer after that.

After Edgeworth pays him his own in-person visit, things are tense between them. Phoenix is jaded, and Edgeworth is determined to uncover the truth (as well as help Phoenix in any way possible). They’d be at odds, and that tension would be drawn out until Phoenix himself starts to get a whiff of the foul play at hand. Only then would he begin to re-open that line of trust between him and Edgeworth again, and begin accepting Edgeworth’s offers to help. I don’t think Phoenix would handle years of knowing someone was out to get him very well without knowing he had someone he could trust.

I also like to imagine them (privately) leading a deeper investigation into the ever-evolving mystery surrounding Phoenix’s disbarment together, so in terms of literal choice of communication, they’d restrict sensitive conversations to being in-person only—a great excuse to visit Edgeworth many times overseas. :^))) Still, it’s a long form game and they couldn’t afford to do that all the time, so they settle for an annual visit at least (gay gay homosexual gay). Aside from that, it’s likely many long catch-up phone calls and godawful amounts of yearning for them, because they somehow manage to not act on their feelings despite outwardly looking like a couple to everyone around them.

TL;DR: at first they suck at communicating because of the circumstances and a semi-friendly disagreement on what to do about things, but in time their goals align and they figure out how to communicate homosexually (complex song and dance which results in not getting any*), and work together from a distance.

I hope this made some sense because tbqh I had to stop myself from just straight up attempting to write out the development of their relationship over the course of seven fucking years. They are corroding the hinges on my brain. ♡

#*….unless..? #I believe in pining 7yg nrmts despite basically being a family rights #i have a file dedicated to 7yg hcs and i live in fear of how large it will get someday #if i could write a fic? it would be about the 7yg #not even necessarily about nrmts tho they would be there obviously #asks #anonymous #i just realized i should probably tag these so uhhhh #hcs #7yg #narumitsu #aa

[tomwambsgans]

hello! I agree with a lot of your takes re: Tom/Greg and am quite sincerely baffled by how many of the big 'intellectual' Succession blogs are comfortable dismissing them as a joke unworthy of insight or analysis. one of the weirdest trends I've seen is 'Tom/Greg would be nothing without Tom/Shiv' because it's like... of course a storyline about what's essentially an affair relies on the marriage it's destroying; of course the relationships on the show all feed into each other vitally. I wouldn't even say I 'ship' T/G or have a deep personal investment in it, but I think understanding it as textually real and substantial is essential to any reading of the show as a whole. I love Tom's relationship arc with Shiv; I find it chilling and heartbreaking and fantastic (and I have equal sympathy for her), but saying that every scene he has with Greg is just about Shiv is such a ludicrously ignorant dismissal coming from people who purport to be invested in, like, serious dramaturgical analysis. Tom being closeted is important; Tom sincerely (and sometimes truly selflessly) loving Greg on a show about egomaniacs forever betraying each other is important. it's almost hilariously ironic to see 'serious' bloggers waving it all away.

this isn't to say that the vast majority of those interested in T/G don't also get them completely wrong – once people are actually confronted with a 'canon gay pairing' that doesn't conform to shipping conventions they don't know what to do with it. it's just tiring that the two extremes seem to be 'total, smug disregard' and 'pointlessly unfaithful misrepresentation'.

but anyway: I like your blog! keep doing what you're doing.

hi wow okay i love this message first of all

and tbqh that Intellectual Dismissal of tomgreg? homophobia. it's homophobia. whether internalized or otherwise that's genuinely what it is lol. like at absolute best it's ppl who've been convinced that it's dumb or immature to be passionate and sincere about two men loving each other and that that's never gonna be the "correct" reaction about a piece of media or something.

and yeah no "tomgreg only exists bc of tomshiv" is a take that makes me want to rip my hair out any time i catch so much of a whiff of it. as something to dismiss tg first of all it's dumb as fuck bc like.. okay? and YOU only exist bc your dad managed to say some offhanded thing to your mom one day that made her decide they were gonna fuck or vice versa. everything in the world "only" happened because something else happened first. and then as an actual analysis of tg it's still wrong and falls apart so easily with so many of the big tg moments in mind. like nero and sporus? I'm gonna push my wife down the stairs and marry you? I'm literally going to end my marriage and be with you instead? and honestly you don't even have to go far that into the show, I'd argue that the ortolan dinner and the connection that tom literally spells out there is very clearly independent of shiv. there's parallels but tom isn't consciously thinking "shiv is out cheating on me so i'll also (emotionally) cheat on her".. obviously lol. Tom and greg simply connect as two human beings more than basically any other pair in the show do and the actual ""reliance"" that their relationship has on shiv boils down, I would say, to simply how tom's unhappiness with shiv pushes him to pursue what he wants. otherwise yeah tomshiv influences certain aspects of the tg dynamic but I guess a lot of ppl don't realize that that's not the same thing as being "reliant" lmao

#anonymous #tomgreg #meta

[faejilly]

i absolutely love your sh meta so i was wondering what are your thoughts on Alec’d relationship with his sexuality bc i always sort of read it as him knowing that he was gay but absolutely not saying it out loud

absofuckinglutely nonny

There's an excellent post by amorverus that I cannot find the original of so have my reblog HERE that articulates it really well

I even wrote a fic about it! #shameless self promotion [tumblr / ao3] (That is, in fact, one of my favorite things I've ever written.)

I do strongly believe that Alec knew that he was gay, and felt no shame about that in and of itself. He is not offended by Magnus flirting with him, would not, I think, be offended by anyone else flirting with him, regardless of gender. (Tho prior to Magnus I also think he just... wasn't interested, but that's a separate conversation.) He knew, however, that it was not allowed in his culture and it would hurt his family and not just him if it came out.

(This is why Izzy makes me so uncomfortable in s1 regarding Alec, tbqh, because she lives there too, but refuses to see the danger to herself and, more egregiously in Alec's mind, because obviously she can chose to risk herself for him if she wants, for all he doesn't like it, but she's causing risk for their little brother if Alec is outed, and that's unacceptable. Even if I'm quite sure Max would agree with her priorities.)

I do, however, think Alec felt a lot of shame regarding his attraction to Jace. Jace was hurting and was supposed to be his brother and yet... Alec felt an attraction that he knew Jace wouldn't return. So he's got all the societal pressure on him not to be gay, and all this personal pressure not to manipulate or abuse someone in a vulnerable situation (because Jace was, even if he wouldn't admit it), PLUS all the normal human issues with feeling attraction for someone who is important enough to you that you can't lose them, and you can legitimately be terrified that if you can't get it under control you MIGHT... (Even more so for him than a mundane romantic vs platonic situation, obviously, because there's questions of command and exile and punishment, not just ruining an interpersonal dynamic in a way it never quite recovers from.)

Plus Alec's kind of also Jace's commanding officer which is yet ANOTHER unequal power dynamic, and he's supposed to be protecting an entire Institute, not just this one person, but he can't stop thinking about it because it's fucked up and he knows he should stop and he can't.

(Because, he realizes with the benefit of hindsight after he meets Magnus, by fixating on Jace he was safe, he was never going to fall in love for real with someone he might have a chance with, would never have to actually choose between his culture and his personal desires, while still telling himself that he already had, that he'd chosen his family and it was fine, he was FINE.

(He was so not fine.))

And so, even though he truly believes there's nothing wrong with being gay in general, he does believes there is something Very Wrong with him specifically being gay.

But he still never has any doubt about it. He never tries to project heterosexual interest in anyone, is very up front with Lydia about the terms of their engagement. (It seems clear, even if we never see that conversation, that they're both aware that their marriage would never be romantic or sexual unless they mutually decided to go the so-called traditional route for children.) And she agreed to it! She, unlike Jace & Izzy, had zero illusions about her relationship with Alec, and I ADORE HER FOR THAT.

And I've totally lost the thread of this rambling, I'm not sure I have a conclusion for you? 😅😅😅

Alec is, imo, refreshingly self-aware about most things, and many of his issues are legitimately external stupidity punishing him into a life of self-recrimination rather than him having internal bigotry or biases against his own sexuality in and of itself.

#jilly answers #Anonymous #the saga of #alec lightwood #honor vs duty vs shame #is really his life pre-canon #he throws away the shame tho #and I'm very proud of him for that #shadowhunters #my sh rambling #sh meta #queer as in #fuck you