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sunookkii · 3 years

Note

hey i know request are closed but this idea just got stuck in my mind and i wanted you to write sum about it if you like it 😭 so basically its an enha reaction/scenario ? where they forget your birthday, (maybe not in a bad way but i dont mind if its angst) hope ur good btw !! <3

a/n : OMG WAIT SRY TO ALL THE OTHER REQUESTS BUT THIS ONE FOR SUM REASON REALLY STUCK OUT TO ME i hope you enjoyyy ;) also I wrote so much I’m so sorry- [not really read proof~]

Also i am well ty for asking >.<

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.enhypen imagine ˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ

Enhypen forgetting your bday~

Genre : angsty ish

Warnings : mentions of food, crying, one swear word??

Requested : yes ty beautiful person ;)

Heeseung :

Okay okay so its your birthdayyy and you were really excited for what to happen because you wanted to see what kind of surprise your boyfriend did for your birthday

But to your luck he forgot :(

So you spent all day giving him hints like ‘what day is it’ and at one point you gave up and started pouting really hard

And your face was just overall sad everyone else had remembered your birthday including the members, but for your boyfriend to forget it lowkey hurt

Almost half the day passed and he still didn’t remember

So you ended up going into the room by yourself and started to cry

Your whimpers got louder and louder even though you were trying your best to stay quiet so he doesn’t hear

A few minutes past by and heeseung started looking for you because he sensed something was wrong.

He looked on the calendar really really carefully and FINALLY he came to his realization that it was your birthday but it was kinda too late cuz you hid yourself in your room to cry.

He came into your room to wish you a happy birthday but he sees you curled up into a ball crying to yourself

He felt so bad after this happened, “IM SO SORRY IM SO SORRY PLEASE FORGIVE ME I WONT EVER GORGET AGAIN!”

He hugs you so tight as if your life depended on it, won’t leave you out of his sight for the rest of the day. You’ll be hearing a lot of hbds and ilys for the rest of the day~

^ so yeah 🤕

Jay :

I feel like it’s rare that he forgets these type of dates buut for the sake of tumblr lets pretend he completely forgot 😧

You woke up in a great mood because it was your birthday of course

You were expecting to be receive a hbd wish from your boyfriend, but nope nothing all morning.

You received a bunch of hbd wishes on Instagram and other platforms mentioning you, but none of them were from jay :(

You quickly got frustrated and because it was your birthday and your bf the person you love most didn’t remember really hurt

So gradually your face became wet from heated silent tears. But unlike heeseung he would super quickly notice because he’s on his phone a lot and he dates things like ‘y/ns bday’ (idk but I imagine him dating things on his phone)

He’d then be like OH SHIT ITS YN’s BD

Runs to you soooooo quick just to see your face red and a bit wet.

Once your eyes connected your tears started to come out quicker

He literally runs up to you to hug you HAPPY BIRTHDAY DARLING I LOVE YOU SO MUCH IM SO SORRY I FORGOT

After he said that he ran away from you leaving you alone, which made your heart drop thinking that he didn’t care.

But once you finally came out of your room you were greeted with a homemade delicious cake your boyfriend made for you that looked like this

You could tell he felt really bad bc usually he always had a smile on his face while cooking but this time it was a ‘I’m sorry’ face

“I’m really really sorry please forgive me”

All was forgiven bc the cake tasted so mf ing good

Jake :

It was your birthday today, a day that only came once a year so like any other human being it’s a special day for you

You were super excited to see what Jake did for you, because every birthday you had with him was always such a surprise

But today was sort of… different? :(

You saw jake in the living room on the tv and went straight up to him with a smiley face. “GOOODMORNINGGG” 😁

After cuddling for a while on the couch you lifted up your head and asked him If he knew what day it was, he just replyed with a simple Wednesday? With a confused face

I’m pretty sure that one word was enough to make you pretty upset 😅🥲

You started to pout and went back into his chest with a disappointed face.

“Ahh what what, what day is it tell me?” He said playfully, not realizing it was your birthday.

You stayed silent as he checked his phone, ‘y/n’s birthday don’t forget’

When i tell you he gasped he GASPED.

You were already in the verge of tears “IM SO SORRY HBD BABY”

You were still a bit upset at him so you replied with ‘did you really need your phone to tell me what day it was’ 😕

He hugs you tighter while mumbling ‘hbd hbd hbd’

Suddenly let you go of his arms and said he had an errand. Without any explanation he got his car keys to go somewhere leaving you and your thoughts by yourself.

‘Does he not love me anymore that he doesn’t even want to spend time with me on my birthday? ☹️😭”

A while later he comes back and you’re luckily still on the couch where he left you

^^this dude came back with three beautiful cakes from your local cake stores. “I’m bacccckkkk!! please forgive meeeee you know i love you with all my heart 🥺” (okay i hate to use this emoji but there isn’t any other way to describe it TT)

You obviously forgave him because you know it was never his intention to forget,,, “you owe me hugs and kisses for the rest of the day :(“ kindly accepts your request because that is something he’d never complain about #freecuddlesfromyn

Sunghoon :

Okay but like hear me out he’s the type of boyfriend that would ‘pretend’ he forgot your birthday but he actually didn’t

So when he ACTUALLY forgot you just thought he was joking until…

“Hooonieeee, stop joking around I’m seriouss”

“I’m serious too i seriously don’t know what day it is”

“What…”

You leave him for a bit alone with his thoughts, not even gna lie if he did end up forgetting your bday it would take him a while to remember it

But once he remembers he feels so bad 😭

Tackles you with so many hugs and bday kisses and showers you with I’m sorrys and hbd wishes

genuinely ask himself how he forgot the lohls birthday (love of his life’s) literally beats himself for it

And you have to tell him that it’s fine and that you forgive him~

Brings out the birthday cake and sings you a happy birthday song while clapping and laughing.

Puts cake on your nose

Sunoo :

Idk if he’s the type to forget but like jay I don’t think he’d forget

I feel like to him birthdays are the MOST special thing/ date for a person

Like obviously the rest of the members think that but especially sunoo really like sticks to this

So if he had forgotten your birthday you were sooo hurt you ignored him the whole day keeping your distance until he finally remembered

Once he remembered he went to go find you ASAP where you were hiding int he corner of the bedroom moping

He showers you with hugs cuddles kisses pecks, you name it he does it

He feels so bad that he could forget smtg like this, literally asks himself how he could forget such an important date

If the convenience store was still open he’d run to the nearest store and surprise you with a birthday cake. But not just any cake it’d be a cake that was decorated by the one and only Kim Sunoo

Would prepare it so nicely and even have a lit up candle so you can wish on it.

the type to surprise you with it even though he forgot. Brings it to your room while singing the hbd song.

Puts cake frosting on your nose #2, takes lots and lots of pictures to post on insta later

caption : “happy birthday sunshine~”

Jungwon :

he was on the couch as per usual just scrolling through his phone to keep himself occupied but also updated

Not knowing what day it was,,,,,,,

you come outside of your bedroom excitedly to expect a wishful happy birthday wish from the person you love most

But for some reason it oddly seemed like a normal day

“Wonnniiieee my loveeee, guess what day it is!” You said with a sheepish smile

“Hmm wednesday?” He said looking up at you with a calm face

Your happy smile soon became a little pout

“You really don’t know?”

“Isn’t it just a regular Wednesday? Why is there something special?”

oh my- he broke your heart right then and there

You run back into your room because you feel heated tears about to fall, even though it was something small the thought of him not remembering your birthday the day of your birth hurt. A little.

Jungwon was actually super clueless he genuinely didn’t know what day it is but something about you seemed off and the way you ran to your room was quite odd to him so he went and followed you

Before he opened the door he already heard small whimpers from the corner of the bed, and that immediately triggered him and he was about to beat up anyone that made you feel sad 😠 little did he know it was him who made you feel that way

“Baby what’s wrong? Why are you crying”

He holds your chin and turns it to get a better look

wiping your tears with his thumb, you were being a dramatic his giggles make you feel a bit better even though you were mad at him for forgetting

“You forgot my birthday.” You said to him while crying

You can literally see the gears in his brain start to turn when his face went from 😄 -> 😳

“IM SO SORRY IM SO SORRY” hugs you so tight that you literally can’t breathe

Doesn’t know what to do to make you feel better, “I’m really sorry for forgetting your birthday, I don’t really know what got into me, please forgive me.”< cue the cutest kitty puppy eyes

He kept on rambling on abt how he was sorry and deserves your forgiveness you literally had to shut him up, he was sorry please forgive him >~<

Cuddles you for the rest of the day

Niki :

He was playing video games normally on his phone, until you excitedly stormed into his room “hiiiii babbbbyyyy”

“Well someone is happy today :)”

“Well of course bc u know what day it isss ;)”

“Wednesday?”

😧😦 < that’s what you looked like when he didn’t know, “you really don’t remember?”

“hmm I’m not too sure” he said before going back to his game

you slowly became disappointed and just ‘celebrated’ your birthday by yourself in the kitchen. :,((

he didn’t notice that you were sad at first bc he was busy playing on his phone, around an hour later he went to the kitchen to get a snack when he sees you in the kitchen staring into space rested your chin on you arm.

‘Are you okay? You seemed fine earlier’

You decided to play the silent game and just avoided him... so he tried to get you to talk to him but after a while it didn’t work so he sort of gave up and went to ask his hyungs what’s wrong with you.

“Niki,,, it’s y/n’s birthday omg did you forget??????” Jake said texting niki

and that’s when the lightbulb in his brain turned on

He rushed to the kitchen and back hugged you so tight and gave you so many cheekie kissies to try and make up for ‘forgetting’

But to his luck you were still mad at him

Soooo he came up with the idea of going to the convenience store really quick to get you a bunch of flowers and a nice cake to surprise you~

You ended up forgiving him because he was tickling you threatening you to forgive him

N knowing Niki he’s not a person you can be mad at for long <3

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caffiine · 4 years

Text

A BRIEF PAUSE

From my regularly scheduled content. I’ve got some shit to say, y’all (forewarning for spicy language and spoilers)

I thought about making this post on my fandom subblog but this show and this relationship have been TOO important to me for the past 8 years to not give it its proper place in my life. strap in bc im not sure how long this mf is about to be.

When i started this DUMB show at age 19 tortured soul “empath” dark academia me thought sam winchester was going to be my favourite character. and don’t @ me, i love sam now in his own right (and we deserve some SAILEEN PEOPLE). but after literally less than 5 episodes i KNEW dean’s character and his arc were going to be amazing and beautiful and he immediately became my favourite brother. The nuances of his character i.e. his shell vs his true self were so evident to me even in the first couple seasons. in my humble opinion, he had the most growth of the two brothers.

They all deserve to be happy, but for whatever FUCKING reason dean has the HARDEST TIME OF ANYONE being happy in this show. I know it’s his character. I know it was written that way. But FFS. I kept wondering when they were going to wrap up his emotional arc and stop torturing the poor dude.

then in season 4 they introduced castiel and 1) I thought the new concept of angels as assholes was super cool and 2) I hardcore SIMPED over misha collins (still do). I watched benignly as cas and dean began to form this relationship that seemed pretty special. I started watching the show when it was in its eighth season and I binged the shit out of it for two weeks until I was caught up. By the time I was caught up I was CERTAIN there were some feelings between them and I LOVED it. I am bisexual and I was ECSTATIC for a potential queer relationship between two masculine-portrayed dudes. I went on tumblr to express my newfound theory, only to find out that this was a real THING. “Destiel” was already an idea that had absolutely and intensely BLOSSOMED in the fandom for several seasons already. So many others saw what I saw and saw the potential of emotionally tortured/constipated “daddy’s blunt instrument” dean and the unfeeling daddy’s boy cas “crack in his chassis” Winchester being allowed to be happy together. I felt validated and hopeful. For a while.

Then it was season after season of hopefulness for them to be finally happy with each other while still fighting the ills of their world with sam and the other new members of their family that were added along the way, only to constantly have that hope seemingly teased away at the end every single time. By season 11 and the introduction of amara (not bashing, eventually loved her character and her development too) I gave up. I lost hope. I stopped watching the show. I didn’t want to keep watching my two favourite characters continuously abused by the story they were thrown into.

I know not everyone likes destiel, not everyone thought it was real. That’s chill, idc. Stories are so often meant to be (and sometimes inadvertently) left up to interpretation by the person experiencing and consuming them. It’s what’s so amazing about books and shows and movies that are able to make us feel so intensely about them and their characters. And I felt SO strongly about dean and cas. It was honestly really upsetting to me, the way the show was going with their relationship.

A while later season 13 had been going on and I started seeing some things pop up on my dash. Hopeful things. I did a bit of research and accidentally saw THE SCENE from season 12 and I couldn’t help myself. I restarted it. I watched the whole thing from the beginning again AND introduced it to my boyfriend I think partially as a way to ensure I wasn’t imagining shit (it took him awhile and a lot of me internally screaming during many scenes but by season 9 he was like “uh are they in gay love”). Fast forward to me finally catching up as season 14 was starting. I was still hopeful, somehow. And it happened AGAIN. Season 14 and the beginnings of 15 made me so sad. I HATED what they did with their relationship. I HATED the way it ended. I HATED the way dean treated cas and everyone around him. It felt like the show was taking his whole character arc back to day 1. I didn’t understand. I kept watching for a couple episodes after the big argument and cas left but the luster was gone and eventually I just stopped.

I love this show. It has meant so much to me as a story. So many of the characters are/were very dear to me. I know it’s a running joke with this show about character deaths and homophobia but the strength of the bond I felt was between cas and dean gave me a lot of hope. But it wasn’t enough. I felt betrayed one too many times. And for those of you who kept watching, for whatever reason, I don’t hold it against you. It’s still a beautiful and interesting story without cas and dean’s relationship. But I just personally couldn’t do it anymore.

I hadn’t planned on watching the rest of season 15 when it came back after pandemic hiatus, at least not for awhile. So imagine my FUCKING surprise when I was doom scrolling through twitter during election week on Thursday and I see supernatural trending right along with election shit.

What.

I couldn’t stop myself, I looked and literally SCREAMED and made my boyfriend spill his wine all over our couch. I didn’t know exactly what happened as I hadn’t seen the episode but APPARENTLY all my emotions and feelings had been at least partially vindicated. So I BOUGHT season 15 so I could finish watching where I had left off. I watched 8 episodes in less than 24hrs (don’t judge me there’s a quarantine) and I LIKED them. And it might’ve been bc I knew what was about to happen in 15 x18 but I really felt like the show was getting STRONGER as it neared its finish.

I was so excited for 15x19. I read so many posts from fellow fans, destiel and antis alike. There really weren’t a lot of bad emotions running around. Everyone seemed hopeful and excited like me.

I probably don’t need to go over 15x19 emotions but im going to anyway. I was disappointed. I was confused. I was angry. we are in season 15. The last season ever for this show that has had a HUGE following of fans who have loved it, sometimes unconditionally, sometimes even though it wasn’t the best (and sometimes less than good). A season and show that had just announced YES. CAS LOVES DEAN. ITS REAL. And I shouldn’t have to go over the nuances of why we would expect more after this, with two episodes to go before the show is done forever.

But I will bc im mad af.

Like I said in the beginning. Dean’s character arc has been incredible. His emotional growth – as subtle as it might’ve seemed – has been amazing. And dean has always been an emotional, loving person. he just felt like he wasn’t because the world made him feel that way. And that’s sad, y’all. Dean deserves to realize he DESERVES happiness. And in 15x18, we were finally heading basically directly there. With destiel, yes, but even if you’re anti, what cas said to dean about who he is and why he loves him obviously struck a fucking chord with dean. It obviously changed the way he viewed himself (RE: “that’s not who I am, that’s not who we are”).

But for WHATEVER reason that’s ALL we got in 15x19. One fucking SENTENCE about dean realizing maybe he’s not just built to kill people. And then jack leaves without a single mention of Eileen or cas or Charlie or literally anyone they ever cared about and dean rode off into the sunset alone with his brother while we watched a fucking FIVE MINUTE MONTAGE that made me want to hurl my own body into the sun they were driving toward. And cas is STILL DEAD.

BUT THERE’S STILL ONE EPISODE LEFT AND FUCK ME IF I HAVENT BEEN PAINTING ON MY CLOWN MAKEUP ALL WEEK. SO WHAT DO I WANT????

ONE: DEAN DESERVES HAPPINESS. REAL HAPPINESS. What the FUCK supernatural??? Wasn’t this the whole point of his arc??? And don’t get me wrong I REALLY want that happiness to come from Cas and a real spoken relationship of some sort between them bc it also ties in with my second point but tbh just PLEASE let dean be happy. Dean is a loving person and does everything for love as we JUST FOUND OUT. Dean would NOT be happy with everyone he’s ever loved gone for the rest of his life. I just don’t believe that’s fucking true. h elp him pls.

TWO: CAS DESERVES HAPPINESS. I know we got this whole speech about “happiness isn’t in the having it’s simply in being” but like. Really. Castiel was supposed to be a throwaway character no one was supposed to care about. But we all cared SO MUCH that he lasted 11 SEASONS longer than intended and became a main character and an integral part of the story. Cas has arguably sacrificed more than anyone on this show. His last act was to sacrifice his life to save the man he loved. He knew where he was going. He knew he was finally going to be able to tell dean he loved him and then immediately be taken by the empty where we know now thanks to season 15 that everyone in there just gets to dream forever about their regrets and sadness. HOW IS THAT FAIR. HOW IS THAT A GOOD ENDING FOR CAS. HOW DO YOU EXPECT ANYONE – CHARACTERS AND FANS ALIKE –TO BE HAPPY ABOUT THAT. Its messed up, supernatural. Y’all KNOW it is and I hope to HIGH HEAVENS this is going to be corrected in 15x20.

THREE: give sam Eileen back.

Well that’s all I’ve got in me, folks. I’m absolutely and intensely dreading Thursday. Im scared and nervous and obviously still angry that this is absolutely going to be the opposite of what they promised – another “game of thrones” ending. Some of y’all are giving me hope with your posts about maybe they’re trying to keep the ending a surprise and maybe cas is coming back and how can they not and why else would they have done the second to last episode like that and I hope yall are right.

Either way, im glad I am not alone with my feelings. Thanks yall for the experience of this fandom and show. Let’s stick together on Thursday, no matter our differences.

PS stop calling jensen ackles a homophobe or ill hex you.

#supernatural #destiel #deancas #oh and #saileen #just to make sure theyre not forgotten #dean winchester #castiel #Misha Collins #jensen ackles #15x18 #15x20 #15x19 #i fucking guess #dean x castiel #casdean #castiel x dean #supernatural season 15

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yibuo · 4 years

Note

UMMM I would love to know what exactly happened with xnine too if you know??

i didn’t know how to answer this without hating on long danni but... that’s not possible when you’re talking about xnine

CORRECT ME IF I’M WRONG IN ANY WAY @ DIMPLES AND CFANS

tldr ceo addicted to producing survival shows realizes boy group is incapable of feeding her fat rabbit because of her OWN mismanagement and throws them away (literally? probably not, maybe, idk)

HOLY SHIT THIS BECAME RLY LONG IM BEGGING KEEP READING TO WORK LO LOL LOL

long danni= wjjw company ceo

wjjw=company that xnine, xz, r1se, etc are under

huo mala: fat company rabbit that WILL give u nightmares goodness gracious thinking about him sends chills down my spine

alright so long danni (ldn i will refer to her) & ee media along w/ tencent and sm made the survival show x-fire... the premise of xfire was that 16 contestants split into two different teams (white and red) and then at the end it would boil down to each team having 4 members and the winning team would debut as a group called xfire...but wait...the group’s name is xnine? so out of red team (peng chuyue, baishu, xiao zhan, xia zhiguang) and white team(wu jiacheng, gu jiacheng, zhao lei, and guo zifan) white team won...and they unofficially debuted as xfire..went abroad to train yadda yadda yadda and then a few months later, TELL ME WHY LONG DANNI DECIDES TO RELEASE POLLS TO LET FANS VOTE IN 5 MEMBERS INTO XFIRE TO CREATE XNINE! ldn PLEASE if u wanted to rig the show you should’ve decided in the beginning what was the point of making the teams and the fans fight against each other...

so yeah xz and crew weren’t actually supposed to debut according to show rules...i mean i’m glad they debuted obviously bc x9 is x9 but ee media and frickin ldn couldve handled this better...like every member except chen molerat is amazing and great but....WHY DIDNT MaNAGEMENT NOT BLATANTLY RIG THEM INTO THE GROUP

but also thank u ldn for also letting us get to know the 4 guys who were added n not chen molerat <3 but like DO UR JOB PROPERLY

anyway the polls were RIGGED obviously thanks ldn what did u expect out of making POLLS, and xiao zhan, peng chuyue, xia zhiguang, yan xujia, and chen z*** were added to the group to create xnine...talk about rigged when chen z*** the molerat lookin turdface misogynist was added... anyway at the time he wasnt known to be problematic but ya the whole rigging thing caused a whole rift esp when x9 debuted bc there were fanwars and death threats initially but xfire did well because it was one of the (if not only) survival shows at that time and x9 debuted w/ a good response etc

then they got moved to wjjw (still owned by ldn thanks ldn) and wjjw is known for hoarding artists and not promoting them (THEY HAVE LIKE 45 ARTISTS BUT WERE FORMED 3 YEARS AGO MAKE IT MAKE SENSE) and not being promoted properly was EXACTLY what happened to xnine. as idols what they needed was music promotions, variety shows, etc stuff to get them as people out there but this genius ldn decided to promote them through stupid zodiac dramas like super star academy (to promote xfire finalists) and oh my emperor (which was an xnine drama). now i haven’t watched OME, but SSA gave me enough brain rot and gunk for me to not watch OME. (the only person who could act was baishu), and the story was SO BAD. nevermind the acting, because the boys weren’t initially slated to be actors, but the story was horrible, girl without superpowers suddenly becomes white cult goddess at the end??? WHAT???????? why didn’t ldn just promote them normally !!!!!! are they an actor group or an idol group???? I LOVE XNINE, THEY ARE TALENTED ARTISTS !!!! and eventually some went into acting (xz, guo zifan, gu jiacheng) BUT WAS THAT THE TIME DLFNJNF and then they just kept getting sent into random dramas and movies as random side characters instead of being able to make music and promote????? i’m sorry i’ve been stuck on using dramas to promote x9 for a while because that’s such a SILLY IDEA *vigorously shakes head*

ldn knows how to do survival shows but she doesn’t know how to promote her artists thanks ldn. xnine has so much talented, we know xiao zhan is a great singer, but other main vocalists like wu jiacheng, zhao lei, and peng chuyue are amazing as welll, here’s me plugging this video of zl and pcy performing their self-written song on produce camp because it’s the most beautiful thing ever

-oh yeah somewhere in here insert chen molerat getting outed as a pedo misogynist cheater by his gf who still has the audacity to have xnine in his weibo name because xnine starting to get popular gtfo rat lookin ass i WILL barf, when we say ot8 xnine we mean xnine w/o chen toadratass but sometimes ppl think it’s xnine minus xz which is untrue-

they also have talented rappers (gu jiacheng yan xujia) and dancers (xia zhiguang guo zifan) like xia zhiguang can end me with his spinning flying kick thing and i WILL let him

so YEAH !! TALENT that went to waste because wjjw gave them weird random hiatuses and kept pushing them as actors??? seriously what is with this actor stuff...so that’s why they debuted in 2016 and have very little discography to their name because wjjw just gave up...trying to promote them GOD thank u so much ldn for ur incomptency <3333 xnine had members in diff stages of life (ranging from xz who was born in 91, to yan xujia born in 2001, they were all close tho soo cute) and wjjw really was like nope we’re not gonna try to promote yall’s dreams of becoming singers on the stage because they couldn’t add 34783473 pounds to fat huo mala’s weight

so ya a lot of people are like omg wjjw hates xiao zhan!!! ya no they hate all of xnine but now xz is bringing enough money to make huo mala even fatter so good for huo mala i guess /s

also rumors and any bad media? lol wjjw doesn’t care they do a shit job at handling bad things too WHAT A WELLROUNDED COMPANY

OH ALSO TALK ABOUT HOW THYE HAD 3 DAYS TO PREPARE FOR A CONCERT???????????? WHAT????????? wjjw u mfs

anyway to summarize my rants above wjjw did a SHIT job of promoting xnine as idols when the boys worked so hard and wjjw kept tryna push them to acting bye (some of them can’t act and literally don’t WANT TO ACT HHHSFLNF), wjjw is also horrible at letting all of the xnine members shine when as i mentioned before, they’re ALL TALENTED!!!! and then they just gave up on xnine somewhere in 2017-2018... ok anyway so is xnine disbanded? no although some may say their last concert in dec 2018 was their last concert ever they’re not disbanded

xiao zhan , gu jiacheng, and guo zifan went into acting

wu jiachang is focusing on his music etc (he was actually the first member of xnine i came across when i watched the collaboration/cyzj in 2018...yes carats this is That wu jiacheng!!!) MAN CAN SING

peng chuyue, zhao lei, xia zhiguang, yan xujia all went on produce camp 2019 (aNOTHER SURVIVAL SHOW BC THEY WANTED TO BE ON THE MF STAGE BC THATS WHY THEYRE HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE WJJW) along w/ fellow labelmates zhou zhennan and zhai xiao wen ... and everyone but peng chuyue made it to the final 11 spots and got to debut in the group r1se...UNFORTUNATELY ALSO UNDER WJJW HELP SEND HELP

if they’re in r1se does that mean they quit xnine? no! they’re in both that’s just how survival shows work it’s kind of weird

peng chuyue recently released a song and it’s really good and you can’t not tell me that it’s gay here it is

anyway xnine hasn’t disbanded!! the X玖少年团 (xnine) in the non-r1se members’ weibo names say that loud n clear!!! and when the r1se members from xnine won produce camp 2019, they all made xnine signs SO XNINE IS ALIVE and they do keep in contact!!

why haven’t we seen blatant public interactions btwen xiao zhan and the xnine members? because some frickin annoying xz solo stans/xfx claim that the other members use xz for popularity (HELLO??????? IN WHAT WORLD DOES THAT MAKE SENSE HALF OF THEM R LITERALLY HIS KIDS BUT OK)

anyway in conclusion wjjw doesn’t know how to promote any of their artists, thus screwing over xnine members and making them go on a group hiatus where they focus on acting/singing/r1se for r1se members but they are very much xnine as of now !!!

here’s some REALLY GOOD RESOURCES to follow xnine bc as an ifan it’s mf hard

-xnine slideshow

-xnine faq

-xnine eng sub channel by yuer

-all of that content i listed above was made/subbed by one person and she is the queen of uhh...xnine international fandom outreach (????) how do i word it but she’s been subbing and spreading xnine long before xiao zhan’s popularity skyrocketed so go follow her for updates and memes here

-xnine intl fanbase twt and tumblr

-and here’s this twt account with dumb pics of xnine because why not

also i’m pretty sure there’s a wip video explaining x9′s history being created (by yuer because queen) so when that’s posted i’ll rb this and post it here

also here’s this video dragging wjjw

#reply #if i could write my essays with this much passion i'd be a lit major #longlivetonystark

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mf-despair-queen · 5 years

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Jigsaw Pieces - Chapter 4 - Mitch Rapp

Author: @mf-despair-queen

Characters: Mitch Rapp/Reader

Word Count: 4,715

Summary: Mitch has changed since the in Ibiza. After some fearful words, Mitch disappears without notice. She’s determined to find him - no matter the cost.

Warnings: None Really?

Notes: JUST LET ME POST ALREADY TUMBLR. JFC

Eighteen Months Later…

Mitch changed.

After spending countless weeks in the hospital for his injuries, he was forced to undergo physical and mental rehabilitation. You couldn’t count how many times the doctors had called because he had awoken in the middle of the night screaming at the tops of his lungs from the trauma on the beach. You couldn’t count the number of times you saw him collapse from pain, the wound in his leg throbbing with unyielding agony. You couldn’t count the number of times you stood outside his hospital room, staring through the window at his broken figure, fingers running over the scar on his shoulder.

Yet, he never said a word of it to you. Not once did Mitch say anything about his pain or his distress, keeping a cold persona that made your skin crawl and your wrist ache.

After graduating with your masters, you moved down to Rhode Island with Mitch, despite his silent protests. He never actively pushed you away, but you couldn’t help feeling that he was trying to distance himself from you. Writing it off as part of his painful loss, you stayed with him, caring for him just as you always had.

Every night, you would show up at his apartment door, letting yourself in with the spare key he never complained that you had. He would be shirtless at his computer or in his bed, reading some book in which you weren’t sure the contents were. Every once in a while, you would find him knee deep in exercising, his fists pounding away at the punching bag hung up from his roof. His eyes, dark and mysterious, would glance up at you, never truly acknowledging your presence in his messy home. He would follow your form across the apartment until you found the kitchen, placing the groceries you got for him in his fridge, making dinner for the two of you.

He would grace you long enough to sit at the table for an awkward, silent meal, words rarely being shared. The clink of silverware against the plates filled the apartment, sometimes Mitch being preoccupied with a book. He never gazed at you for long, your eyes lefts to linger on his form, taking in the changes he had undergone in a year and a half.

His hair had grown out, the once shorted chocolate locks having grown out to something that was reminiscent of his high school days. The ends curled towards the roof unless they were wet with sweat or a shower. His luscious locks had lost some of its sheen, mirroring his depressed form. You only knew that it was the same fluffy locks he always had because he would sometimes fall asleep after dinner and you would sit with him, running your hands through his hair. It seemed to calm him, a wave of relaxation washing over you almost like you were able to feel his aura seeping through your system.

To add to the longer hair, the man had grown out his beard considerably. It felt like the first true sign that he was a man now, no longer the teen you went to highschool with. A thick brush of hair covered his lip, chin and cheeks, hiding the constellation of marks that were spread across his jawline. It saddened you that they were invisible to the naked eye as the hair got longer. Recalling the nights you could just say next to each other talking, you had counted the number of marks and moles he had strewn across his fair skin countless times, memorizing them without realizing it. Though, staring at him now, his slender digits stroking the length of his beard, tugging at the end strands

His body had changed. The fact that he strolled around his apartment shirtless helped you to admire his newly improved physique. His arms had bulked up from incessant training, the same veins you were used to running alone paled skin. His pecs had tightened, showing off his collarbone more pronouncedly. His shoulders had broadened with his increased muscle tone, his sheer strength of will resting on them. The thing that made you frown the most was the star that glared across the room on his shoulder - from either side - from the bullet wound he incurred. It was the bitter reminder of what had happened; it was the imperfection that seemed to keep him going.

The cold man sat across from you, you heart breaking at the sight. You never stopped caring; you never stopped loving him. If anything, you cared for him more than ever. From the time you saw him lying in the bed, broken and lost, you wanted to be there for him. And over time, as you watched him recover - watching him grow strong physically and mentally - you couldn’t help but feel your rapid heartbeat pounding against your ribcage, a clammy hand placed over it when you were alone. Your body burned, yearning to touch him, hold him and tell him things would be ok. You wanted to feel loved, even if it was a simple friendship once more.

The burning intensity that spread up your arm, however, worried you.

An uncomfortable knot typically sat inside you, something unsettling egging at your insides. Your mind screamed that something wasn’t right - that something was off. But what it was, you couldn’t say for sure. The only sign your had was the constant sizzle the ran through your veins, resembling adrenaline and determination that didn’t feel like your own. The source: the puzzle piece. Everything seemed to radiate from it and resting a hand over it at night, it felt like your skin was n fire under chilled, icy hands. Whenever your eyes fell upon Mitch, the burn seemed to increase, your thumping heart speeding up without the feeling of love.

Swallowing thickly one night, you placed your fork down with a loud clatter than caught Mitch’s attention for once. Dark whiskey eyes glanced up from his own food, a brow raising. Your hands fell into your lap, fingers fiddling together anxiously. Your eyes squeezed shut, unsure why you felt so nervous. It felt like it had been forever since you spoke to him. It felt like you hadn’t had a normal conversation with the Mitch you knew and loved. His gaze now felt like it was piercing your soul, your blood running cold. His warming presence now teetered over you, intimidating you with just a glance.

“Mitch,” you breathed, finally daring to look up at the man. “Are you ok?”

The question was honest, and you could see Mitch waver slightly at the sudden inquiry. His hand shook, the fork placed on the table slowly. His reddened lips pursed together, rubbing together in thought. His eyes narrowed before falling to the table, pondering whatever words he would spout off. Cocking your head to the side, you waited, no immediate answer coming. Your hand unconsciously rubbed at your irritated wrist, a sense of dread and anguish beginning to wash over you. Your lip quivered, eyes glistening with unshed tears you had withheld for years.

“Please,” you let out quietly, voice cracking under the weight of worry. “Please, Mitch. Just answer me honestly. I’m so worried about you.”

“I’m fine,” came his quick reply. His sultry voice made you shiver, the man returning his gaze to you across the table. A fire burned in his orbs. His hands curled into tightened fists, knuckles glowing a ghostly white from the tension. “I promise, I’m fine.”

“Are you sure-”

“Yes,” he cut you off, giving a small smile that screamed fakeness. “I promise, I’m fine. I will make things right, I swear.”

His words sparked a sense a distrust - a feeling you never thought you’d feel. Something felt off with the way he said it. Something wasn’t right because the mark imprinted in your skin burned hotter with determination. Yet, behind the fire was a cold wave that told you one thing.

Mitch lied about being fine.

But…

He wasn’t lying about making things right.

The words lingered in your mind ever since. You wanted to piece together what it meant. You were scared your friend - your crush - was going to do something he may regret one day. Nightmares plagued your mind of the reckless things he could attempt, the result always the same. He would lay on the ground in a pool of his own blood, the crimson liquid spreading out in every direction. Finally, it would settle around your feet, staining your bare feet. His lifeless eyes would bore into you, head giving a sickly crack as it tilted in the wrong direction in a zombie-like manner. His mouth would part, the same words making you scream yourself awake.

Why didn’t you help me? Why did you let me die?

In your state of panic, you began to use your days ff to tail the man. Taking note of his odd behavior as the fall and winter weather approached, you bundled in the warmest jacket you could find, a bean on your head and gloves on your hands while following him, keeping a safe distance so he wouldn’t pick up on your presence. His head occasionally would whip around, as if he felt eyes on him at all hours of the day.

You hid in a corner of the gym, sipping on a bottle of water while watching him wrestle and fist fight with the other men. Mitch seemed to be oblivious to your form watching over him, too focus on the punches he would throw, the kicks he laid and the aggressive grappling he had become fond of. One too many times, you saw how violent he would become, spinning his body around in a way that made his butt stick out in the black and red gym shorts. His legs would wind around a man’s torso, hands gripping at the shirt to begin choking the defenseless trainee. Only when they were red in the face and on the verge of passing out would Mitch be ripped away, his opponent gasping for air with the mumble of low curses under his breath.

The increased violence furthered your worry. Mitch could be a hard ass growing up, but before your eyes, this was new extreme. He seemed primed to kill, his sight gone red with one thought: fulfill the task at hand. Even in training, he seemed to be prepping for something, not caring who was in his way of becoming strong. His steps never tangled and his hands never wavered, the intent to end a life sickening.

Your head snapped up one cold afternoon, the straw of your coffee between your lips when you heard the yells of Carlos from the mats. The pen in your hand fell into your notebook, straightening up where you sat to see what was going on. Mitch was swiping his thumb across his nose, cheek red. His eyes had narrowed as Carlos’ booming voice carried.

“That’s it, Rapp. You’re done. Get out,” he told the sweaty man. Mitch glanced between the gym owner and the guy gasping for air on the ground, cursing out Mitch. Noticing he stood stagnant, Carlos’ voice raised, pointing at the door. “Get out!”

Mitch rolled his eyes, an air of annoyance exuding from him body. He reeked of it, not caring who knew he was pissed off. Ripping off the gloves, Mitch trotted to his belongings, removing the leg pads before pulling on his shoes. His hair stuck to his forehead, clothes clinging to his limbs. Whipping his jacket onto his shoulder, he stood from his seat, gym bag tight in hand.

“Have a nice fucking day,” was his bitter remark. You winced when the clang of the door banged open, Mitch disappearing into the cold while the door clattered shut.

Gathering your stuff, you rushed over to Carlos, giving him a sad smile. “I’m so sorry about him, Car. He’s just… he’s been on edge.”

Carlos sighed, rubbing his chin. “I know he’s your friend, but you can’t keep making excuses for him, Y/N.”

“What? I’m not-”

“Watch out for him,” Carlos said. “He’s going to get hurt with this reckless behavior. Or worse - he’ll get someone else killed. And I’d rather not hear that it’s you.”

You frowned, tightening your grip on your bag. You stared at the ground, biting at your lip. “He wouldn’t hurt me.”

“I don’t know about that anymore.”

You left without another word, following Mitch to his next destination: the gun range. With every step you took, all you could think was, He would never do that.

Walking down the packed street, you slid past people as fast as you could, trying to keep pace with the ever vigilant man. Your hands were stuffed in the pockets of your jackets, only pulling out glove-clad hands when you moved by people while uttering low apologies. Your eyes never left the man through the gaps in the crowd, a considerable gap to keep from being noticed.

Through the entire process of tailing your friend, you missed the shutter of a camera going off, a man in black clicking photo after photo of Mitch as he hastily sped his way down the Rhode Island streets of gray brick and cobblestone. The circle with a distinct crosshair narrowed on the man for a flurry of pictures before turning to you. The man in black taking the photos stared at the image of you he had captured, clicking the radio on his ear.

“Candidate is on the move to the gun range. The girl is on his tail.”

“Does she know anything?”

“I don’t think so. I think she’s just concerned.”

“Well, make sure she doesn’t pick up on his habits. If he makes a move, we can’t drag her into this.”

“Yes, ma’am, Director Kennedy.”

You didn’t know that the last time you would would see Mitch was that day at the gun range. You had stood worried near your coworker who agreed to cover for you as you watched Mitch. It started out normal: shot after shot making your ears ring, even through the noise cancelling headphones you were designated to wear in the pit. Each shot that was fired nailed its target, the paper cut out of a human being displaying holes in the head and chest.

The noise picked up when he swapped guns, the hand gun exchanged for a high powered rifle that struck through the air with a sickening crack. The constant ‘boom, boom, boom’ made you wince, watching the slaughter of the target in progress. Dust was flying, bullets hitting the wall behind the target as it was torn to shreds. People stopped at stare at the man you called your longtime best friend, his form unwavering and unflinching.

You stood from your seat in panic when the alarm sounded, blaring into your mind clearly. Each step into the gravel Mitch did made you heart jump, clammy hands gripping at the bottom of your shirt. After swapping guns again, the even more high powered pistol firing off into the air, Mitch was attacking other targets. When he moved forward, the gun dangled at his side, the former athlete swapping to a handheld pistol as if he were finishing off a target after he ran out of bullets.

You wanted to run after hi, hugging him from behind to stop him. But Jeremy held you back, shaking his head. Sadly, you were forced to watch Mitch get escorted from the premises.

You didn’t follow him after that. You headed home, soaked in a bath, and never heard from him again. He seemed to vanish, leaving nothing more than a note on his fridge door that said he was on a trip and not to worry about him. The words didn’t calm you, your worry building each day that passed. Phone calls went unanswered, going straight to voicemail after a while. Texts went unread, no reply attempted. No sign of life lingered in his apartment, the mess the same very time you walked in, walking back out immediately after. Dust was gathering on the surfaces. Mitch’s landlord asked every time you walked in what was going on.

All you could tell him was you didn’t know before passing him the payments Mitch neglected while he was away.

Sitting at work one afternoon, Wendy, you seatmate, slide over to you, leaning on her elbows as she eyed you. Her long black hair draped across her shoulders, tips brushing against the tabletop. Her dark eyes narrowed on your form, bright red lips pursed together. Manicured nails drummed against the polished table, the click clack making your nerves rattle. Amidst all of your stress, you were on edge from lack of sleep. Hearing her chair squeak when he shifted into a different position to stare at the side of your face, you let out a deep sigh, turning to her.

“Can I help you, Wen?”

“You look like you haven’t slept again,” she pointed out. Gesturing to her own face, she pointed out the spot just under her eyes. “Your make up didn’t cover the bags. And you look like you haven’t eaten. You’ve lost color in your cheeks.”

“Is my makeup really that bad that you can tell?” you huffed, pulling a mirror from your purse.

“Yes and no,” she mused. “I just know you that well. So, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” you mumbled.

“You’re a horrible liar.”

You sighed again, letting your head fall to your lap. You hand instinctively rubbed at your wrist, feeling a brief sting of pain course through your body. It wasn’t nearly as bad as some of the shockwaves you had encountered, but it was rattling whenever the sudden feeling took over. Wendy watched on, waiting for you to answer.

“I’m just worried,” you admitted, eyes darting to her for a second. “Mitch hasn’t been home in over a month. He was he was on a trip, but I haven’t been able to get a hold of him. I’m scared something happened. The last time he left like this, he was shot in Ibiza. He hasn’t been the same since and I’m afraid that he went off to do something reckless. That he’s on some suicide mission.”

You wanted to tell her more. To tell her about the burning sensation that flowed through your veins like fire. To confess about the feelings you felt that weren’t your own: the sense of dissatisfaction that happened days after Mitch vanished, the anger that made your skin crawl, the shocks of pain that ripped through your body nights ago while a sense of determination and focus kept your eyes open. But, you knew she would think you crazy. It was like telling someone you could hear voices. It wouldn’t end well to say something.

“All he left was a note, right? Saying he would be away?”

“Yeah,” you murmured. “I’m sure he left it because he knew I would stop by. I-”

“You always do. I know,” she mused. “You care a lot for that man but it feels like he doesn’t care back.”

“No, he does,” you said, almost as if trying to convince yourself too. “He’s been my friend forever. So, whatever’s been going on - what’s been going through his mind - I don’t think he wants me involved. That’s why I’m afraid he’s going to do something reckless. He won’t tell me so I don’t try to butt in. He knows I will. I feel like he has some death wish.”

“Well, he’s stupid if he keeps pushing you away.”

“I…” you started, letting out a choked sigh. You were fighting back tears. “I don’t know why he’s fighting so hard against me. I know he’s been hurt and he lost Katrina, but all I’ve ever done is been there for him. And he keeps himself so sheltered now. I don’t understand what happened or why he’s being like this. Everything changed, Wendy…”

Wendy rubbed your back, giving a sad smile. “He’s a male. Males do dumb shit.”

“You can say that again.”

“As much as I hate the guy for making you feel so shitty, I want to say that he has good intentions. If you were as good of friends as you say, he must be doing this for a reason. He kept himself away maybe because he doesn’t want you to get hurt by something?” Wendy grinned, trying to lighten to mood. “Or, maybe deep down, he just loves you so much that he is afraid you will reject him.”

You let out a bitter laugh, unable to smile fully. Maybe he does care and he’s pushing me away because of it. Because of Katrina…

“How about you take the rest of today off?” Wendy proposed. Your brow rose at your friend, silently asking what she was talking about. “I will take care of the work you have to do today. You should go to his apartment and snoop around.”

“Snoop around?” you inquired.

“Have you ever actually looked around since he left?” she asked. When you shook your head no, she continued. “Maybe there is some clues around for where he went to what is going on.”

“Isn’t that an invasion of privacy?”

“You have a key to his apartment. It’s not like you are breaking in,” she claimed. “As far as I can see, it’s perfectly fine for you to look around.”

“I don’t know…”

“Y/N,” she cut you off. Her hands took yours, smoothing over the tops. “I know you care about him. I know you are worried. So, figure out where he went. It’s the only way to put your mind and heart at ease. Just look around. Maybe there is something there you never noticed. Something that’ll tell you what you need to know. Anything that helps, I want you to look for.”

You pouted for a second before nodding. “Fine.”

“Good,” she grinned. “Text me and keep me updated if anything happens.”

“I will. Thank you, Wen.”

You rushed from the office, headed straight for Mitch’s desolate apartment. Mr. Hazir nodded at you when you walked in, rushing up the stairs to the second floor where the apartment sat. Your hand shook with the key, making you stop to take a deep breath before sliding the key into the lock and twisting. The door clicked, squeaking open as you entered. The dark apartment made you grimace, the smell of old, sweaty clothes giving off a distinct musk wafting up your nose.

Your bag was left by the door as you wandered the apartment, searching for anything that may give you a clue to his unknown location. The punching bag swung lazily when your hand brushed against it, the chain rattling against the hook with its strained weight. His work out gear sat discarded on his ruffled bed sheets, training gloves and pads full frontal vision for you to see. Dust collected on your fingers when they were swiped along any surface, reassuring to his vacancy.

Sitting on the bed, you flicked your eyes through the apartment, straining to see if there was anything out of place that you weren’t used to seeing. “Where did you go?” you asked aloud, receiving no answer back. You sighed, laying back on his bed, feeling the cold sheets and blankets under your hand. “What are you up to, Mitch?”

Your throat tightened with unshed sobs and tears, choking back the sorrow you felt. You forced yourself to sit up, going through his drawers to find something - anything. Your mouth dropped at the sight of the multiple books on the Arabic language, culture and history you never truly realized he was reading. Balls of paper were in the waste bin near his bed, each one being a different article about the same person: Adnan Al-Mansur. The last article you picked up made you body quiver.

It was an news article about the attack in Ibiza.

“Mitch…” you whispered out, biting your lip.

Moving to his computer, your heart sunk further into your stomach. The keyboard was covered with a transparent keyboard with the Arabic alphabet. More books and papers were piled on either side of his laptop, adding to the confusion of what he was doing. Powering on the laptop, you were met with his login information, the password unknown. You sighed hopelessly, not wanting to attempt to break in. Instead, your fingers brushed across the keyboard, feeling warmth along your tips despite the cold plastic it felt. Your fingers moved like you were typing unsure what you were saying.

It just felt natural.

“What have you been doing?” you asked yourself. “I don’t get it. You’ve been learning Arabic, but for what?” You felt dread seeping in, not wanting to believe the following question. “Were you planning revenge on Mansur, the man who murdered Katrina?”

Nausea began to set in. Your stomach twisted with unanswered questions. You needed to escape before you spewed your lack of food onto the hardwood floor. The chair clattered backwards in your haste, hitting the floor with a loud thump. Your heel clacked against the floor while rushing for the front door, stilling before you got there. Your body froze, eyes directed at the closet that hung ajar.

You tried to push it closed, but something impeded it. Swallowing thickly, you pulled it open, letting your arms drop to the sides. Pasted to the inside of the door were pictures of Mansur, slices and cuts ebbed into the photos. The Wooden door had been punctured, but by what? The knife that still sat imbedded in Mansur’s forehead. The black handle poked straight out, blade sharp and stuck in the wood. The pit in your stomach grew at what you saw, the worst becoming reality.

You ran away, not looking back at the evidence of insanity and maniacal vengeance that was present in that room. You didn’t want to admit what you knew. You didn’t want to believe that Mitch was out for revenge.

Mitch was on a suicide mission to kill Adnan Al-Mansur.

The room was dark. The only sound was the clicking of fingers against a keyboard. The multiple screens that were perched along the wall were the only source of light, eyes flittering between the codes that appeared before them. The white letters against a black screen flashed rapidly across the screen until the stopped with coordinates to the destination in question. The eyes blinked, blinded from the constant staring at the bright screens in the dark hour.

It was after midnight.

But the chair sliding against the floor was loud, feet padding across the room to find the first bag possible. Clothes were shoved inside, hygiene products shoved into a small pouch on the inside. A passport sat on the bed, ready for use. A hand grabbed the phone that was connected to the computer, dialling a number rarely used.

It was cheating to do so, but you had no choice. Years in a computer science field and you were well adept in the task of breaking into someone’s phone, tracking the location of its whereabouts. The task was illegal, so you rarely did it. But when Mitch changed, you knew you needed a way to keep an eye on him.

Zipping the bag shut, the phone pressed to your ear, you spoke to the person on the other end confidently.

“I need the first available ticket overseas. Preferably the fastest travel.”

“Where is the destination?”

Your eyes fell on the computer before swinging the bag onto your back, backing towards the door. One hand rubbed the jigsaw piece on your wrist, feeling the determination that spurred from not one, but two sources: yours and the unknown presence that lingered around, giving you a sense of comfort that came from something, or someone, else. You were going to him. If he was still alive - you would be there. Even if he didn’t want you there, you couldn’t abandon your friend. Your mouth parted to answer, accepting what you had to do before answering.

You would save Mitch, one way or another.

“Istanbul, Turkey.”

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parkjmini · 6 years

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090518: serendipity

okay so here’s my shitpost recap of all of my feelings about seeing jimin perform serendipitydoo irl:

alright before i even start right, they performed the snippet of save me and it lead into i’m fine. THIS WAS THE 2ND AND 3RD SONG THEY PERFORMED BTW HAHAHA i cried, i bawled, i was S O B B I NG during i’m fine, like yall know jimin’s part in the chorus where he sings abt sunshine and how he’s fine like FU CK I WAS NOT F I NE

everytime his face came onto the big screens and he was singing how he was fine, i would start crying again like i didn’t kno what came over me. i guess it was bc i’ve seen him grow the past 5 years and how much he’s been through as a person and him saying those lyrics i was like wow my baby is fine! he’s finally fine!!! like wow!!!

okay anyways, here’s the thing. they played vcrs before every solo stage so i knew jimin’s and namjoon’s were the next two solos coming up (i canNOT believe they went in for the double kill like jimin AND nams???? fuck off bts) and i was hype, my best friends were hyping me up like “yo your mans coming up” and im like “ya hoe im here, im ready imma sing my heart out”

hahhahahahhahahaahahahhaahha when the concert hall went all dark and the back track for serendipity came on....for some odd reason....... i fcking... f r o z e like i tensed up like a mf. They had banners that were passed out and i was hugging my banner vertically like it was some body pillow, afraid to let go

The lights came on and Jimin appeared in the middle of the frking stage in his outfit and his backup dancers and he was so shiny and sparkly and he was singing serendipity and everyone was losing their shit and SCREAMING/CHEERING !!!! i STOOD THERE, silent ! not a word! and im the type of person at concerts to scream/sing my head off

but i was so... mesmerized by the man of my dreams performing. like a strange epiphany washed over me, i fucking love park jimin. i have so much love with park jimin. ive always been like yea that’s my baby i love him and all but, it really really hit me like a truck just as to how much i actually loved this man who prob didn’t even kno i was dazed for him just by seeing him IN PERSON. HE WAS REAL IT ALL FELT SO REAL??? (okbut also side note, even tho i was there, it didnt rlly feel like i was there?? like it didn’t actually feel like i saw bts, mayb so fake bts group but that was THE jimin of my life, THE one i run a whole goddamn tumblr abt... mayb it just didnt rlly settle in me that i was at the bts concert....)

he left me speechless and it felt like it was only me and him in the entire stadium which was probably insane bc there were over 15,000 screaming ppl there but i couldn’t hear anyone but jimin singing... my friends disappeared from my space too, like i was in my own world with that guy

and the feelings i felt were calm, serenity, safe. omg ohm yGOD, i dont kno what clicked in my head mayb i was overwhelmed with him, bc he’s born to be a star that’s that, and for how my love for jimin was overspilling my brims. i couldn’t move, i wanted to film a piece of it so i could look back on it but i couldn’t take my eyes off of his solo stage

i just had so much admiration and shit, i was proud as hell for him. to see him performing a solo, with such confidence and charisma was astonishing. i kno im a writer and all but i cant even find the perfect words to exactly pinpoint how his serendipity stage made me feel. i still cannot regurgitate what was running through my head bc i felt everything in my heart

it was only when the stage ended and one of my friends hugged me that i realized that i had been lost in my own world w jimin and i had just been wide eyed and immersed in the wonders of jimin and i’ve never felt a feeling as strong as that in my entire life

#bts #park jimin #bts love yourself #bts ly tour #personal #im actually insane lmao #he makes me gush #and i want to disappear

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speaknvw · 7 years

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reputation - album review

insp. by outofthewoods, i’m gonna do a full review of the album during my first time listening to it :) even tho no one’s gonna read this

i’m lowkey comparing it to red because of the amount of people from secret sessions saying it’s better than red and red has been my favorite since well.. 2012

and i’m gonna include my rankings at the end

…READY FOR IT

(i think this only fits as the first track because i don’t see where else it would fit in with the album)

personally only like the chorus of this song but i 100% stan the music video of course and my WIG flew //

END GAME

BITHC DFJSJKFHD i personally love taylor’s parts and i of course love ed’s parts although this is quite a contrast to everything has changed, but nonetheless i love the beat and i love the concept of the song.

“i swear i don’t love drama, it loves me” my WIG MF FLEW MISS SWIFT.

I DID SOMETHING BAD

“if a man talks shit then i owe him nothing” OH YES HONEY. THDJSHVJKSDC THIS SONG IS GIVING ME GOOSEBUMPS SIS THE CHORUS HAS ME QUAKING ALL THE WAY TO PLUTO.

THE BEAT DROP DURING THE CHORUS GIVES ME EVEN MORE GOOSEBUMPS EVERYTIME IT PLAYS IF THATS EVEN POSSIBLE DJFSJDK

THIS IS 100% ON MY TOP 5 FOR BOPS. I’D BOP TO THIS EVERYDAY. AND THE BRIDGE EHFSFJEHUKJK

DON’T BLAME ME

“don’t blame me love made me crazy” honey… it made all of us crazy

idk for some reason the lyrics remind me of bey? i’m not really sure why

i ADORE HER VOICE IN THIS SONG.

i’m not really sure how i really overall feel about this song but i love the vocals in this song and i feel if i listened more closely to the lyric’s i could stan it more

DELICATE

the beginning. omg. imogen vibes??? yes.

THE MF BEAT HSJKHEUWHERENJWKEK

OMGFDJKFS THE PRE-CHORUS FCUK ME???? DEADASS BYE

ISN’T IT DELICATE

“stay here i don’t wanna share” sdjfsdfhjuhfn i wanna cry because of that

“I PRETEND YOU’RE MINE ALL THE DAMN TIME” THAT’S THR BIGGEST MOOD KFJSKND

this song is def calmer than the rest of these songs

LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO

i remember when this dropped and how shook i was

and i remember shaking when the chorus came on bC JDSKFK

I CAN ALREADY TELL THIS IS GONNA HAVE SOME BOMB ASS CHOREO ON TOUR

i can def see why this was chosen to be the first/comeback single because of what the concept of the song is (i mean i think everyone does)

and from this song i was kinda expecting an album about well.. her reputation.. i guess?? but after the other two singles i wasn’t too sure what was coming BUT

NONETHELESS i adore this song and it honestly feels a little short in comparison to the rest

SO IT GOES…

in the beginning i was a little iffy about the chorus but i love the verses.

“i make all your grey days clear” “I’m so chill but you make me jealous”

“but I got your heart skipping when i’m gone”

WOW MISS SWIFT REALLY MADE MY WIG FLY WITH THESE LINES. NGL.

but listening to these lyrics help realize how the chorus fits in

side note: when i first saw the track list i honestly thought of you are in love (which is my favorite song from 1989) and the verse where she says “and so it goes, you two are dancing in a snow globe round and round”)

GORGEOUS

i love the concept of this song but i don’t know if i LOVE it,, does that make any sense??

and i loved reading people’s posts on twitter/tumblr about their conspiracy theories of this song

and i relate to this song when i see ppl who r beautiful but i’m too much of a pussy to say shit to them

and i wish i knew why she chose this as a single

GETAWAY CAR

wow. just wow. THSEJFEHNRJRE THE FUKCJNGJBN BEGINNING OH MYOOGFDI I WANNA CRY

THIS SOBNG IS SO GOOD WOW

“i wanted to leave him, i needed a reason”

THE FUCKING CHORUS I LOVE IT I LOVE IT I LOVE IT

I LOVE THE VIBES THIS SONG GIVES OFF

THE TYPE OF MUSIC ID LISTEN TO DURING A ROADTRIP TBH?? AND NOT JUST BC OF THE TITLE

but wow i love her voice in this song jsjfnejr it reminds me of something but i can’t put my finger on it

“there were sirens in the beat of your heart” oH MY GOD this line.

THE BRIDGE WOW IM LITERALLY IN TEARS RIGHR NOW

THINK ABOUT THE WHERE PLACE YOU FIRST MET ME

NO NOTHING GOOD STARTS IN A GETAWAY CAR

KING OF MY HEART

i love the beginning fuckfjd<3 though i.. don’t exactly like the beat but i do like the lyrics and i love how she told the ppl at ss how each lyric is a diff stage of her relationship. i love how she did that.

the chorus reminds me of getaway car a bit

change my priorities wow

i don’t know i just don’t really connect w this song but i think some of the lyrics are cute and soft like old taylor :)

DANCING WITH OUR HANDS TIED

the piano oh?? THE BEAT OH???

JDSJDFSB THE LYRICS OH MY GOD

“deep blue but you painted me golden / oh and you held me close / ooh how was i to know” HSKJFWEH WOWOWWOOW

I HAD A BAD FEELING

QUEEN TAYLOR IS SHAKING ME

i loved you in spite of deep fears that the world would divide us

i love.

DRESS

“they got no idea about me and you” wow you right.. we didn’t have any idea sis :(

I LOVE HER VOICE IN THE BEGINNING BABY YES TAYLOR

only bought this dress so you could take it off

anyone thinks that they know us but they know nothing about all of this silence and patience panic and anticipation my hands are shaking from holding back from you

I honestly love how this song is about sex lmao

nonetheless i love the beat and feel of this song:)

AND THE BRIDGE TOOK MY BREATH AWAY. i would say wig flew but she took that during the first 3 seconds of end game

THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS

okay the beginning,, i thought it was an ad so imma be honest and say i don’t like the beginning

this song gives me the vibe of we are young by fun., is it just me?? idk but that’s what i thought of during the verses vs the chorus you know??

if only you weren’t so shady,, this is why we can’t have nice things

ALRIGHT I LOVE HOW SHE DEDICATES THAT PART OF THE SONG TO PEOPLE WHERE SHES LIKE:

HERE’S A TOAST TO MY REAL FRIENDS WHO DON’T CARE ABOUT THE HE SAID SHE SAID

AND HERE’S TO MY BAAABYY (i love the way she says baby in this song it’s deadass so adorable) HE AIN’T READING WHAT THEY CALL ME LATELY

AND HERE’S TO MY MAMA HAD TO LISTEN TO ALL THIS DRAMA

AND HERE’S TO YOU BECAUSE FORGIVENESS IS A NICE THING TO DO– HAHAHA I CAN’T EVEN SAY THAT WITH A STRAIGHT FACE

I LOVE IT. I STAN.

this song is so cute tbh

CALL IT WHAT YOU WANT

alright alright alright,, the fourth single of rep. probably my favorite single.

i love the contrast from this is why we can’t have nice things

and this song is so cuteeee and i love how she stays calling him her baby,, it’s the cutest thing and makes my heart go [<3<3<3]

and i know i make the same mistakes every time bridges burn i never learn at least i did one thing right lmao that line lowkey broke my heart

this is the type of song you listen to when you’re in love tbh it’s so cute and the lyrics r like old taylor and i love it

not because he owns me, but because he really knows me

LOVES ME LIKE IM BRAND NEW I adore that lyric

NEW YEAR’S DAY

this song is so cute wow. it’s so different from the rest of the album though and i feel like it’d be a deluxe song, but NONETHELESS IM IN LOVE WITH THIS SONG WOW

squeeze my hand three times in the back of the taxi

please don’t ever become a stranger whose laugh i can recognize anywhere

this song is deadass so cute oh my god i love how she shows her soft side in this song

HOLD ON TO THESE MEMORIES

that reminded me of long live oh my god i’m trying not to get emo ab that

CANDLE WAX AND POLAROIDS ON THE HARDWOOD FLOOR - YOU AND ME FOREVERMORE

this is the most og taylor swift song on the album and the type of song that captured my heart all those years ago and wow. i just love it.

overall i love this album more than i thought i would because,, well to be quite honest i kind of grew apart 1989 and thought this would just push me away further but it definitely did not. no, it’s not your typical taylor swift cheesy heartbreak songs, but it’s different and that’s what i love about it. is it better than red? once i get more into the lyrics and the concepts behind all of the songs i think i’ll determine my opinion on that.

one thing i really loved about this album is how it’s not just about her heartbreak and the hell and the pain she’s been through with the last relationship she was in (of course there’s that in this album but it’s so much more), it’s also about her well, reputation, and how she feels in her current one. i can tell how happy she is right now and i can already feel her smiles through the songs, the smiles she probably had during the recording of this album.

i love the change of style that came out of the 3 year hiatus

and now here’s my rankings (for now at least)

- getaway car

- i did something bad

- delicate

- dress

- dancing with our hands tied

- new year’s day

- king of my heart

- don’t blame me

- end game

- call it what you want

- gorgeous

- ready for it

- this is why we can’t have nice things

- so it goes

- look what you made me do

#reputation #review #album review

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stateofirrelevancy · 7 years

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Get To Know Me Tag

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people.

Holla @ ma girl @kerrity13 thx for the tag babe

LAST:

1. Drink: some H and a double shot of O 2. Phone call: To my mom to ask where the olive oil is only to realize olive oil has too many calories and wasn’t worth it dsfjkds so then I tossed it back in the cabinet but it didn’t land upright woops 3. Text message: “she jus wants a friend” sent to my friend Orange who is watching Moana w me right now in response to “why is this fire lady so angry” 4. Song you listen to: Like I said I’m watching Moana so the I Am Moana song but if that doesn’t count then Vanity’s Fair - A Lot Like Birds 5. Time you cried: I actually have no idea?? Sometime in June prolly

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: twice????? bich i aint go on a date once 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Is this the section to make me feel bad bc I never leave my room 8. Been cheated on: refer to #6 9. Lost someone special: Idk I feel like yes like all my grandparents passed away and my uncle on my mom’s side and my aunt on my dad’s side and also v recently my uncle on my dad’s side but like they lived in Pakistan so I rarely saw them ya feel?? 10. Been depressed: I mean I’ve def been super sad but idk if I’d say ~depressed~ 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: refer to #7

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12-14: Orange, yellow, black, in that order.

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: Yes, one of whomstve being @oceansweather my go to drama buddy 16. Fallen out of love: fallen out of what now? u mean when I get over bands I used to like? Then yes Big Time motherfuckin Rush yall broke my tiny heart in two 17. Laughed until you cried: Def who hasn’t 18. Found out someone was talking about you: I don’t think so?? Like I don’t doubt people do but I ain’t jumpin 2 kno about it 20. Found out who your friends are: I guess?? I mean I’ve basically had the same friends for 5 years lol 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: On the cheeks ya

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: Ok considering I have eight (8) FB friends bc I made my fb to join my college’s group I know all of them considering I only added ppl super close to me lmao 23. Do you have any pets: When my brother lived here I had his cat Glimmer who is a stripper but he moved out and now I’m constantly :( 24. Do you want to change your name: Nah I like my name 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: On the exact day I had a big dinner at home w my family and the weekend after my friends came over! 26. What time do you wake up: If my mom wakes me up then 10 otherwise 11-12:30 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: prolly on tumblr tbfh 28. Name something you can’t wait for: Bojack Horseman season 4!! and new 5sos music ofc. 29. When was the last time you saw your mom? around 2 hrs ago when I went down to make popcorn lol 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: ??? be hot or not dumb either would b k00l 31. What are you listening to right now: I’m watching What The Health now cause Moana ended rksdjlkfsd 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: No?? The only Toms I know are british YouTubers bye 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: ummm myself 34. Most visited website: prolly youtube 35. Mole/s: One on my left pinky, one at the bottom of my left ring finger, one next to my left knee, one above my right eyebrow, one in the pit of my left elbow. 36. Mark/s: I have a huge birth mark on my stomach lmao fun fact it used to look like the US when I was younger 37. Childhood dream: yall I had my life planned THE FUCK out. When I was in fifth grade I decided I would b a pop star like Hannah Montana until I was ~30, and then when my world fame inevitably dissipated, I’d become a doctor like the good little brown girl I thot I was. 38. Hair color: black like my soul 39. Long or short hair: medium length lol 40. Do you have a crush on someone: Calum mf Hood ain’t got eyes for no one else 41. What do you like about yourself: what do I what now 42. Piercings: do my ears getting pierced when I was a baby count asdklfj 43. Blood type: I think B positive?? idk 44. Nicknames? Aky 45. Relationship status: me myself and i are together and in a loving poly relationship 46. Zodiac: Taurus 47. Pronouns: She/Her 48. Favorite TV Show: PARKS AND REC!!! I was jus telling my friend the other day that idt I’ll ever find a show I’ll love more than it. Words can’t describe how much I love P&R yall. 50. Right or left hand: Right but don’t b fooled my left is mf skilled 51. Surgery: nope 52. Hair dyed in different color: I wish!! 53. Sport: who? I don’t know her 55. Vacation: what does this mean like have I been on vacation before?? Then ya lol 56. Pair of trainers: CONVERSE BITCH aint no one else exist in the world but her

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: idk what this question means what is my fave food????????? then,, idfk lasagna 58. Drinking: capri sun could fuck me in the asshole any day 62. Want: ?? death 63. Get married: ya I’m mf down when will a boi wife me tf up 64. Career: idk I really wanna work in AI 65. Hugs or kisses: hugs wtf i aint kiss none but hugs are pure i will fight someone over this 66. Lips or eyes: idk eyes?? 67. Shorter or taller: I guess taller cause im smol 68. Older or younger: older give me a daddy 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: arms gotta b strong to choke me 2 death 71. Sensitive or loud: sensitive I need some1 2 feel emotions for me thx 72. Hook up or relationship: relationship 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: are u saying i have the choice of finally having a cringey fuckboi badboy tm that most every wattpad fic was about 5 yrs ago?? no thanks

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a Stranger: ,,,u kno the answer to that bye 75. Drank hard liquor: this is the section to make me feel bad abt myself reincarnated 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: no n knock on wood I won’t 77. Turned someone down: ekjfnkdlsn one time a guy asked me to homecoming and I told him homecoming wasn’t my thing and then he saw me at homecoming ekdfjaderdfkalesdf 78. Sex on the first date: uhhh 222 early 4 me 79. Broken someone’s heart: who knows mayb i broke the homecoming guys heart the world may never know 80. Had your heart broken: anytime Calum refuses to acknowledge my existence 81. Been arrested: no but I’ll gladly b put in handcuffs :-) 82. Cried when someone died: ya when my grandma on my mom’s side died. Oh and also when Christina Grimmie died :( 83. Fallen for a friend: idt so

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84: Yourself: ha 85. Miracles: sort of? Like I don’t believe in the magic behind it or whatnot but like winning the lottery would be a miracle bc like it’ so rare ya feel me 86. Love at first sight: nope not one bit 87. Santa Claus: fun anecdote so I’m Muslim and I never understood how Santa knows which houses are for people who celebrate christmas vs those who don’t and so I somehow conjured up the theory that he knows bc he checks each house and if they decorated and have a tree up, they celebrate it. So I was telling my mom this and she’s a vvv blatant person so we was straight up like he doesn’t exist and I was like he does!! and she was like ok then put up decorations and see if he comes and I was like :-( 88. Kiss on the first date: personally too early for me

OTHER:

90. Current best friend name: Idek who would be considered my #1?? Also what happened to question 89 lol 91. Eye color: brown 92. Favorite movie: Camp Rock 2: The Final Jam

I tag @oceansweather @aneverendingreplay @5sowoc @lukescurlies @fuckmemgc @harrqstyles @punk-dinosaur @ovalt @tennisbowels @disasterologiess @hiighriselights and anyone else who wants to

#does anyone actually read these lol #about me

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