#but those pieces stuck w me I cant lie!

[moonchildstyles]

Curious gazes is my fav 🚑🚑🚑

from the few that ive read its my fave too:( very very soft and sweet:(

#ive only read like idk 1 or two curious gazes pieces I thnk so #but those pieces stuck w me I cant lie! #anon #ask

[sailorhyunjinz]

Imagine skz realizing their s/o reads smuts about them .... sksksksksk

PLEASE I SO WANNA DO A HEADCANON ON THIS 

LEZ GO HEADCANON/REACTION (i swear i know the difference i just dont know what to call these LMAO)

Warnings; SMUT!!! mentions of rough sex, mentions of pegging, mentions of threesomes, mentions of degredation, sub/dom!skz x gn!reader

bangchan

“o-oh”

he just needed to check the weather on your phone or smth

but was instead greeted by hardcore smut with him choking and fucking the reader

I MEAN,,, HE KNEW 

BUT STILL VERY SHOCKED 

“why dont you read the cute like fluffy stuff? like going on dates by the beach or getting a dog together or something?” 

you try to act innocent like “read? i do read book with those themes if you didnt kn-”

“no i mean the things about me”

realisation just HIT 

“chan,,, how much did you read??”

“maybe like 3 or 4 pieces, all very rough??”

smile through the pain, you’re busted and theres nothing you can do about it lmao

minho

“here i am,,, thinking my partner was so excited over news articles but no,,, oh no they reading about wanting to dom me. never baby”

he says it in such a serious tone so you’re cracking up, half embarrassed, half amused.

but he doesnt even blink

“also why the fuck does changbin get to fuck but im stuck jerking off in a random ass corner?”

so defensive

justice for minho in fics

starts judging how its written

“the writer doesnt describe my handsome face?”

changbin

“Y/N!!! COME HERE!!”

you skip into the room, your buff boyfriend sitting infront of your computer scrolling through a smut post you hadn’t bothered clicking down

“this is pretty hot not even gonna lie”

you punch him playfully on the shoulder but it doesnt make him move an inch

“c-can you not?! thats invasion of private property!!”

“ ’ah fuck yes changbin, im yours’ doesnt sound like private property”

you slam the computer screen shut and walk out but he grabs your wrist

“do,,, do you wanna try?”

“try what?”

“you know,,, recreate those,,,”

hyunjin

“b-but im right here?”

so confused??

like why would you need to read about having sex with him

WHEN HE WAS THERE??

rolls his eyes and starts making fun of you 

“y/n wants to be called a whore!!”

but then discovers smth really kinky that you like

idk like being tied up or restrained or smth

eyebrow wiggle 

“hey y/n i just wanna test something” 

you’re cooking food and you nod

he takes both of your hands behind your back and CLICK

mf had handcuffs behind his back 

“WH- HYUNJIN WHERE DID YOU EVEN-?”

he leans in real close to your ear, pressing his chest against your back

“dumb baby didn’t know that i would have found out, hm? reading those dirty things behind my back every night”

jisung

“my dick is not small”

you’re like wtf,,, he just says it randomly while you were grabbing a snack from the kitchen

“in that story you’re reading, it says that i have a small dick”

FUCK FUCK FUCK YOU LEFT THE DAMN PHONE UNLOCKED

you cant even say anything, you just frozen, with a packet of crisps in your hands

“what more stories are there of me? are there any with me and a big dick?”

“JISUNG, SHUT UP”

felix

GIGGLY BOY

he vibes with it but kinda pouty because why didnt you tell him what you wanted to do in bed

baby starts worrying that maybe he’s not good enough :((

highkey loves the sub fics OOP

“y/n, i wanna try this”

he says, showing you a fic about him getting pegged/buttfucked

you’re all like static tv noises at first cause how the fuck did he even find out

but ya know,,,, it opened door ;))

seungmin

“do you want to fuck my bandmates?”

bruh you choke on your mf water

“w-wha? why would i-”

“especially jisung, theres just countless links of jisung smut in your history”

you’re impressed over how calm he is?? 

“s-smut? pffft,,, i dont read that,,,”

he pulls out his phone cause he took a picture of what you were reading and you just wanted to sink underground and stay there forever.

“I quote; ‘jisung grabbed his leaking cock an-”

“IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY I WAS JUST CURIOUS, SPARE MY EARS”

he just chuckles, looking up from his phone with his sharp eyes

“should be me instead...”

jeongin

“wait is that the new volume of that manga?”

he says all pouty before he jumps on top of you, you lying on your stomach on the bed, deep into the story until you scrolled down and boom

the smexy scenes started ;)))

you quickly scroll up again but he’s all like;

“wait scroll down,,, im pretty sure i saw my name”

he grabs the phone out of your hand and runs away

“WAIT PEOPLE WRITE THIS ABOUT ME?!”

flops down on the floor out of embarrassment 

and you flop down on top of him

just a pile of embarrassment

#stray kids smut #skz smut #stray kids reactions #stray kids imagines #stray kids headcanons #skz reactions #skz imagines #anon #Cherrymail🍒

[ifmywishescametrue]

i don't know if you're still taking prompts (so please ignore this if you aren't) but i cant stop thinking about your recent buckytony fic (and how much i love breaking up and making up as a trope) - so i was wondering if you'd be up for doing smth else w that trope for buckytony?? maybe they re-unite at a mutual friend's wedding?? and it brings up emotions about their almost wedding?? idk i just really love breaking up and making up as a trope and i really love your writing :))

thank you!! I'm very much up for doing another buckytony break up/make up, plus you deserve nice things for finishing law school - congrats on that!🎉🎉hope you like this one 😊

There's a ring on Bucky's finger.

It's the first thing Tony notices when he walks into the bar for Natasha and Sharon's joint bachelorette party. He stands there in the doorway, frozen and staring until someone clears their throat pointedly behind him, and he mumbles an apology as he moves out of the way.

He thinks about turning around and not coming back, just ditching the event entirely and maybe even the wedding tomorrow, but he tosses the ridiculous thought the second it comes. He promised Sharon when she asked him to be her man of honor that he could handle Bucky being Nat's. Living on the other side of the country afforded him to miss the rest of the events and planning along the way, and he could deal with one day of being cordial to his ex, even if the day comes with walking down an aisle together.

But now there's a ring on Bucky's finger.

The silver catches the light, and it's on prominent display with his left hand wrapped around a beer bottle. It shouldn't be possible for him to have moved on that quickly. Eight months shouldn't be long enough to bury three years of memories. Three years of hopes and dreams and plans for a future built together. Years of love so blindingly intense that it burrowed into Tony's soul to make a home and refused to be evicted just because it was supposed to be over.

Tony wonders what the timeline is. Did he find someone new while Tony was still just beginning to pick up his own scattered pieces? A first date for him while Tony was barely getting out of bed. When was it that he replaced Tony as the last person to have his heart? And how did he find forever in someone else so soon after losing the one he used to call his soulmate?

Natasha notices him first, still hovering near the entrance, and she raises a single eyebrow that calls him a coward. He rolls his eyes at the accusation, though it's accurate. She elbows Sharon to catch her attention, and before he knows it the entire small group is turning their heads his way, giving him no choice but to join them.

It's less bachelorette party and more pre-wedding celebration with the crowd they've gathered, all mutual friends of both brides with no regards for gender traditions that usually come with this night. Tony used to fit in well with them all, back when gatherings like this were just a typical Friday night. But he made himself an outsider between the move to California and the breakup with Bucky. All he has now with most of them is a dead group chat that hasn't been used in months. He wonders which one of them made the new one without him in it.

Sharon is the first to pull him into a hug, then Natasha follows suit. He gets a nod from Sam, a wave from Clint, and what might pass as a smile from Steve. Bucky stares so intensely that Tony can feel his eyes with his back turned, but when Tony looks his way, he pretends to be interested in the floor.

He had a plan before the ring threw him off. Step one should have been the entrance. Head held high, shoulders square, perfect outfit that shows everything off and compliments the Malibu tan he has now. Step two should be nonchalance. A light hearted greeting to everyone, accompanied by an easy grin and relaxed body language, and catching up with subtle brags slipped in. Show them all that he's doing better than he ever was, sitting on top of the world these days, even if most of the time it feels like he's barely above rock bottom.

Step three in his ideal scenario involved Bucky breaking down and begging to get him back. Some versions even had him on his knees for it, with tears running down his face. Others required it to be raining outside, and the cloudless sky ruined that before the ring on Bucky's finger did.

With steps one and three out the window, he tries to salvage step two.

“Hey,” Tony starts, a little too loud. He swallows the lump in his throat and tries again, “Hey, Bucky. It's good to see you.”

Bucky nods, a strained, jerky motion. “Yeah, you too. How, uh, how have you been?”

“Good. Really good, actually. Company just had its highest sales quarter yet, so it’s been a little crazy around there, but good.”

“Good,” Bucky repeats, and there’s a long awkward pause.

“And what about you?” Tony asks, and then because he can’t help himself, he adds, “I see you got engaged. Or, hell, I guess it could be married, even.”

Bucky freezes with parted lips and wide eyes for the briefest of moments, like he wasn’t expecting Tony to know about it or bring it up, and his eyes shift to the ring on his hand and stay there.

“Yeah,” he says slowly. “Engaged. Last week.”

Tony ignores the ache in his chest and plasters on a smile like he’s happy for him. “Congratulations. Who’s the lucky guy?”

“Oh, you wouldn’t know him. Steve introduced us. They work together.”

“So he’s at the museum then? I thought you used to say that you hated all those stuffy guys and Steve was the only one worth knowing.”

Bucky smiles, a fond thing that widens the crack in Tony’s heart. “Yeah, well, I guess I was wrong. Felix is a great guy.”

Tony resists the urge to roll his eyes. Stupid name that probably matches a stupid, punchable face.

Some masochist thing pulls at him to make him keep digging for more information, a twisted need to know even as each word pushes the knife in deeper. He aims for casual, leaning back against one of the high top tables as he asks, “So how long have you been together?”

“Just a couple of months. Kind of fast, I know, but when you’re sure about something, it doesn’t really matter, right? Why waste time waiting?”

“Right, of course,” Tony says, a little flatter than he intends. “So why isn’t he here tonight? Hope it wasn’t to spare my feelings, because it’s really not necessary.”

Bucky falters, “It’s not? You, uh, you’re dating someone, then?”

Tony nods, and he wishes he had grabbed a drink before this so he could hide behind it as he lies through his teeth. “Only a few weeks, though. A little too early to be a wedding date, but I’m sure your guy will be there tomorrow right?”

“Oh, um, yeah, definitely. Why wouldn’t he be, right? There’s no reason I can think of,” Bucky says, stumbling around it. “But tell me more about your thing. Your person. How’s that going?”

Tony shrugs, and he finally pulls off that easy smile he’s been trying for. “Well, it’s not get engaged in a couple of months good, but it’s been really great. We’re taking it slow. Trying not to rush anything and just get to know each other first. I think it could really be something, though.”

“That’s good,” Bucky mumbles. “You deserve something good.”

He isn’t meeting Tony’s eyes anymore, almost like he’s upset that Tony moved on, and the vindictive part of Tony wants to be happy about it, but another part wants to be angry because it isn’t fair. It’s not fair to act like Tony should stay stuck in time, forever longing for him when he already moved on with someone else first. It’s hypocritical and selfish, even if Tony is lying about there being anyone else.

“Well, I’m gonna go get a drink,” Tony says, pushing down every feeling. “Should catch up with everyone else, too, while I’m at it. I’ll talk to you later.”

He heads over to the bar and isn’t surprised when Sharon joins him a moment later, right after he orders a double shot of whiskey. She puts an arm around his shoulder and asks, “Are you okay?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Tony laughs, running a hand through his hair. “My ex is engaged to somebody else and apparently doing really fucking well. Meanwhile, I’m making up fake boyfriends that I’m taking it slow with, because last week I went on my first real date in eight months and cried in the bathroom in the middle of it. And then, at the end of the night, he literally told me to my face that he didn’t think a second date was a good idea. We weren’t even talking about it, Sharon. He said it unprompted when we were still ten minutes from his apartment, and I was driving.”

Sharon nods slowly as she processes the rant. “He told you he got engaged?”

“Yeah, thanks for not telling me, by the way. It was really fun to get blindsided by it.”

She ignores the complaint to ask, “What else did he tell you, exactly?”

“Oh, just the whole line about how you know when you know, and Felix is such a great guy, and all that bullshit.”

“Felix,” Sharon repeats.

Tony knocks back the rest of his drink and orders another. “Please tell me he’s not better looking than me. Tell me it’s a downgrade. Don’t lie, because I know I have to meet him tomorrow, but please give me something that will make this better.”

“Well, I can guarantee he’s not as attractive as you. But he’s a little too perfect, you know? Like how could this guy possibly be real, he’s so unbelievably perfect,” Sharon says.

“I told you to make me feel better, not worse.”

Sharon shakes her head with a smile, the arm around him tightening into an approximation of hug. “I wouldn’t worry about it too much. I don’t think they’re going to last. He’s kind of flaky, too. Always cancelling at the last minute and all that. Bet he won’t even show tomorrow.”

The amusement on her face that she’s failing to hide confuses him. He’s starting to feel bad, though, for making the night about him when it should be about her and Nat.

Resolving not to dwell on it anymore, he squeezes the hand on his shoulder and says, “Alright, enough sad drinking, and definitely enough about me. We’re celebrating you and Nat and a lifetime of sickeningly wonderful happiness for both of you.”

Sharon grins, “Hell yeah, we are.”

“Shots?”

“Is that even a question?”

_____________

He wakes up with a headache and hazy memories. Shots of tequila that turned into shots of vodka when Nat got involved, then Clint’s terrible suggestion to try a shot of every liquor they had to offer. He vaguely remembers the round of toasts and drunken impromptu speeches from everyone, locking eyes with Bucky and failing to look away on both their parts. There’s a blur of wandering hands and heated, messy kisses. A bathroom stall turned into a cab ride which turned into his hotel room. He knows what he’ll find next to him when he opens his eyes, and guilt comes in full force.

“I know you’re awake,” Bucky says, voice still rough with sleep. It used to be Tony’s favorite sound in the world. “And I know we’re both sorry about what happened, but pretending to be asleep isn’t fixing nothin’.”

Tony shifts over to his back, and if there was any question before about what happened between them, the all too familiar ache in his body would answer it. He stares up at the ceiling to avoid the acres of bare skin on display next to him.

“You should probably leave,” Tony says to the walls. “I’m sure your fiancé is wondering where you are.”

“I doubt it.”

Tony puts an arm over his eyes, partly to block out the light that makes them ache and partly to hide his face. “Just go, okay? It was a mistake, and it won’t happen again, and we don’t have to talk about it.”

“Was it a mistake?” Bucky asks. “It didn’t feel like one to me.”

He doesn’t answer, and it’s soft and broken when Bucky says his name. Too much for him to handle.

Tony pushes back the blankets and searches for Bucky’s clothes in the mess they’ve made. He finds the shirt first and throws it at him. “You’re engaged, which means it was a mistake.”

His boxers are on the back of the couch, jeans right in front of the door, and they join the pile on Bucky’s lap. “You promised the rest of your life to somebody else, and I’m pretty sure fidelity is supposed to go with that.”

He tosses a shoe in the general direction of the bed, and it hits the nightstand with a loud thud. The second shoe is still in his hand when Bucky gets up and walks over to him, taking it and letting it drop to the floor.

His eyes hold a level of intensity that Tony has spent months dreaming about, and Tony couldn’t look away or move from this spot even if he tried.

“Felix isn’t real,” Bucky says. “I made him up when you asked, because I didn’t want to tell you the truth that I haven’t moved on in the slightest. That I’m so pathetic that I’ve spent the last eight months wearing an engagement ring that I bought for a guy who doesn’t love me anymore because I don’t know how to let him go.”

Tony stops breathing. “What?”

Bucky slides the ring from his finger, holding it between them so Tony can see the inscription. Always yours. He can’t remember the last time he heard the words get spoken.

“When?” Tony asks hoarsely. “When did you get that and why didn’t you ever ask me?”

“About a year ago,” Bucky says, slipping it back on his own finger. He sits back on the edge of the bed and stares down at it, twisting it around. “I thought about doing it on your birthday, but Nat and Sharon had just gotten engaged the week before and I didn’t want to take anything away from them. You were working a lot of late nights after that, and I thought it would be better to wait until things slowed down. You were so tired all the time, and you deserved a better proposal than when you’re falling asleep in the middle of dinner. It never slowed down, though. And then you got that big promotion and somehow we fell apart instead. If I’m honest, I still don’t really know how. One minute I’m getting ready to come with you, and the next you’re telling me not to bother.”

Tony sits down next to him, shoulders touching, and he pulls Bucky’s left hand into his. “You didn’t really want to go.”

“That’s not true,” Bucky says, but Tony shakes his head.

“All you talked about was how much you would miss New York. How much you’d miss your friends and your family and your job. Every day, everywhere we went. Even the fucking hot dog stands got sonnets about them. It really didn’t take a genius to figure out that you weren’t exactly looking forward to leaving.”

“I still would have gone for you,” Bucky argues. “I told you I would go anywhere with you, if it was what you wanted.”

“And then what? You move with me, and you’re miserable all the time, because my job never slows down so I’m still not around as much as you want, except now it’s compounded because you’re in a city that you hate with no one else that you know. You resent me for making you go, and the outcome is the same in the end either way.”

“Or I move with you, and I finally ask you to marry me like I’ve wanted to since almost the day we met. I find new friends and a new job, and even if it’s not perfect, it’s still worth it because at the end of the day I have a husband coming home to me.”

Tony runs his thumb over the ring and murmurs, “I wanted you to be happy. I didn’t think I could do that for you anymore.”

Bucky cups his cheek, tilting his head up to meet his eyes. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but baby, you’re an idiot.”

“Oh, thanks,” Tony laughs.

“You’re my idiot, if that helps.”

Tony smiles, still fragile but growing more hopeful. “Am I?”

“Always have been,” Bucky says. “Always will be if you stop assuming I’m going to leave you all the time. Let me decide for myself what I’m willing to sacrifice for us.”

Tony nods slowly, then says, “I’m sorry for ending it like that.”

“I’m sorry for making you feel like you had to.”

Tony climbs into his lap, circling his arms around his neck, and Bucky pulls him in closer with his hands on Tony’s hips. The ring is strange to feel against his skin, but also completely right. He wants it to stay there and to mean what it was always supposed to. Wants one of his own to match.

“We can fix it, right? We can be us again?”

“I don’t know,” Bucky says, and Tony’s heart sinks for just a moment. “Is your boyfriend as real as my fiancé?”

Tony laughs again in relief, “Yeah, they’d be a good pair.”

“I knew you had to be lying. You’ve never taken it slow in your life,” Bucky grins.

“Do you want me to start now?”

Bucky flips them over in one fluid motion, and he kisses up his throat as he murmurs, “Absolutely not.”

#my writing #my fic #winteriron #buckytony #winteriron fic #prompt fill #ad1thi

[marvelsswansong]

I really hope I'm doing this right- I've never done a request before so please excuse me if I mess this up aaa,, but i would like to request Bucky x stark!reader with the song One More Night by Maroon 5 (it's one of my favourite songs it's so good) where the reader is Tony's sister and shes dating Bucky behind his back. Tony offers her a position to be assistant manager with pepper; she realises that she cant take on a job like that and keep dating Bucky but he really loves her and cant let go??

–> One More Night by Maroon 5

a/n: I’m so proud of this one

You couldn’t keep on doing this.

This was the only constant thought you had for the last few weeks, wrapped up in Bucky’s arms as the clock in the room kept ticking by. Pretending that you had no responsibilities or that you weren’t living a double life was easy when you were lying in his arms, and it was a fantasy that rudely hit you whenever he had to go on missions.

“You’re the love of my life, doll.” 

Your heart hurt every time Bucky said that, because then all you could think of was ‘only if you knew.’ If only he knew that you were a filthy liar, the sister of a man who viciously hated his guts, and a liar who had fallen hopelessly in love with a man she could never openly be with.

Your relationship with Bucky was built on lies. You never told him that you were related to Tony, only mentioning that you had worked for him once (which was somewhat true). You instead told him that you were a SHIELD agent, was an only child, and that your last name was Carter. 

The only thing that wasn’t untrue in your relationship with Bucky was just how much you loved him.

“I love you too.”

You’d whisper that to him, your heart breaking every time you uttered that sentence and saw the lovestruck grin Bucky gave you in return. His smile, his love, all his affection for you was not for you. 

It was for a fake you.

A you who was not a Stark.

And you had no else to turn to. It was a miracle that neither Tony or any of the Avengers had caught wind of this. You supposed it was a good thing that you had never met any of the Avengers before, preferring to keep to yourself and work for the Stark company overseas. 

It was killing you to lie to Bucky, but it was also killing you to lie to Tony. 

It killed you to tell your only family member, your own brother, that you were busy with work and not dating his number one enemy. It hurt to admit, but it was true. You knew what Tony would say if he found out.

“He’s a traitor.” He’d say, anger filling his eyes. Then Tony would look at you, the awful look of betrayal in his face, as he uttered the following words: “And you’re a traitor too, dating him when he killed our parents.”

Why was reality so cruel?

“You alright doll?” asked Bucky softly, snapping you out of your thoughts upon feeling your salty tears drop from your eyes and onto his skin. You turned around and stared up at him with a fake smile, wiping your tears away with your hand.

“Yeah! I just, um, am really tired from last night’s mission.”

Bucky smiled in relief.

“Oh, alright. Then we should really get some sleep, huh?” 

You let out a shaky breath and nodded.

“Good night Bucky.” you whispered, feeling his arms wrap around your waist once more.

He was out in a few minutes, leaving you alone to your thoughts once more.

‘I can’t keep on doing this. I need to leave him tonight.’

But those words were uttered too often but never followed through- you fell asleep, forgot about your problems for another day, finished up some general work for the company and kissed Bucky. You allowed yourself to indulge in what could never be by pretending that everything was fine. That you were just a simple girl who loved a simple boy.

But running away from your problems never worked.

Bucky was gone on a mission when you received a call from your brother out of the blue. Slipping on your cardigan, you walked out onto the balcony of your apartment.

“Hello?”

“(Y/n)! How is my favorite sister doing?” exclaimed Tony, his excited voice causing you to chuckle.

“I’m your only sister, jackass. Anyway, what’s up?”

“Right! So Pepper’s been swamped with some work lately and considering I haven’t seen you in forever and you’re stuck living away from home in a tiny apartment… I was wondering if you wanted to be an assistant manager?”

Your heart dropped.

You weren’t sure how you could get out of this one.

“I, uh, I’m flattered, Tony, but I-”

“Oh come on, (Y/n). I haven’t seen you for two whole years! And you know this is exactly the type of position you need. I promise you it pays well too…” trailed off Tony, teasing you.

You let out a deep breath and sighed.

“Okay Tony, I’ll take the position.”

“Great! I’ll send you the flight details to get to NYC in a few hours. See you soon, sis.”

You hung up and threw your phone across the room, where it landed with a loud thud on the floor. The reality of the situation hit you just then, that you had accepted a job offer from your brother.

Away from your home.

Away from Bucky.

And worst of all, this meant that Bucky would finally find out who you really were- a Stark.

‘You knew this day would come, (Y/n). Snap out of it.’

Tucking your phone into your back pocket, you suppressed your sobs and started to pack up your things. You had just finished packing your last piece of clothing when you heard the door to your apartment open, causing you to freeze.

“I’m home, doll, where are-”

Bucky stopped opening the door when he spotted you standing there, your hair a mess and your hands holding several suitcases. His smile dropped into a deep frown as you avoided his gaze.

“W-what’s going on?”

‘You have to do this, (Y/n). Break his heart and it’ll all be done.’

“I’m leaving you.”

The amount of pure devastation in Bucky’s face was enough for you to break down then and there, tears starting to pour out of your eyes.

“W-what? Why?”

You swallowed and looked up at him with a determined gaze, trying to maintain your composure.

“I-I don’t love you anymore. And I realized that I deserve better. So… I’m leaving you.” 

You started to walk out of the door, your bags in head, when Bucky’s hand wrapped around your wrist. You looked up at him to see his eyes darting across your face, analyzing you.

“You’re lying to me.” 

“N-no I’m not.”

Bucky’s devastated expression dropped into one of concern, his grip loosening as his voice turned soft.

“Yes you are, doll. Now can you calm down and tell me what’s really going on?”

That was the last straw.

“I-I can’t be with you anymore, Bucky. I’m not who you think I am.”

Bucky’s eyebrow furrowed in confusion.

“What do you mean?”

“My last name is not Carter. I am a SHIELD agent but I mainly work for the Stark company… Aka my brother’s company.”

Realization passed through Bucky’s face as you dropped your bags onto the floor, the tears now overflowing.

“I’m a Stark, Bucky. I’m Tony Stark’s sister. That’s why I can’t be with you. I-I’m so, so, so sorry.”

Bucky stared down at the floor, the fire in his eyes now all burnt out.

“So… you lied to me.”

“Yes.”

“Do you even love me?” he asked, his throat feeling dry.

“Yes, yes I really do.”

That caused him to look up.

“I love you more than you can imagine, Bucky Barnes. That is the only truth I’ve told you this past few months. But now that I accepted a job offer in New York to work as my brother’s assistant manager, this… this is the best way to end things.”

You picked up your bags once more and mustered up a smile once more before leaning in and kissing Bucky on the cheek.

“I’m so sorry, Bucky. I hope you can forgive me one day.”

You began to walk towards the door when Bucky stopped you.

“No.”

“What?”

Bucky took the suitcases from your hands and dropped them to the floor. He then took his hands and put them up onto your face, wiping your tears away with his fingers.

“No, you’re not leaving. Because I love you, (Y/n) Stark. I love you regardless of whether you’re a Carter or a Stark, because who you are as a person has not changed. A-and even if your brother disapproves of it-”

He rested his head against your forehead, breathing in your scent.

“I still love you. And I’d follow you anywhere.”

“B-but my job offer-” you started, dumbfounded. Bucky dismissed it with a shake of his head.

“I’ll move with you. We can sell this apartment and get a place somewhere near the Stark tower. And you can finally meet my friends and introduce me to Tony as your boyfriend.”

“R-really? You’d do that for me?” 

Bucky only smiled.

“I’d do anything for you, (Y/n) Stark.”

a/n: holy SHIT this was long. But um, I’m SO proud of this??? Like it was perfectly angsty and it fit the song so well. And I also love that it ended in fluff. Anyway, um, lmk if you enjoyed it in the comments below and sorry if there were grammar mistakes lol i wrote this in an hour and posted it unedited

-–> prompt list

regular taglist:  @wantyoubackpeter @platonic-plots @superwholockwannabe @rogers-car-dealerrr @xxmizzlexx @xdsockmonkey @princess-unicorn124

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes reader insert #bucky barnes headcanon #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes oneshot #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan x y/n #sebastian stan x you #marvel reader insert #marvel imagine #marvel headcanon #marvel oneshot #winter soldier x reader #marvel blurbs

[uniformbravo]

an Post about Me (my day)

i got a new phone case today ok bc like my old one was just a clear soft plastic, v minimal & functional, but ive had it for like 3 yrs so it had gone all gross n yellow w/ age and handling & it was totally falling apart & i wasnt in a hurry to get a new one just yet but my mom surprised me today w/ a new one & it’s like. it’s basically the same but black and opaque & im not gonna fuckin lie my phone looks so fuckin good now oh my god i cant get over it every time i look at it im so?? i love it??? it’s so Sleek like im not one 2 ever call electronics sexy but hoooooo

i thought i was losing my fucking mind today bc i could not remember what nagisa’s motif animal was??? i was literally running through every aquatic animal i could think of in my mind i was picturing those medley relay scenes where theyre swimming n the animals appear but nothing was fuckin coming up for nagisa like it was Bad & i didnt wanna look it up bc i was using my phone for yt & didnt wanna lose my place in the playlist i was on like it was a whole goddamn Thing & then i also didnt wanna Give In bc i Knew i would kick myself the second i found out what it was from it being so obvious i was fuckin. ive never blanked so hard in my life i was like i should KNOW this shit i was THERE what is this Amateur Hour what the FUCk, for 5 fuckin minutes & then when it Finally fuckin hit me it was like a full on arin hanson kinda moment where i just yelled “PENGUIN” in the middle of my living room it was. a journey

this is gonna sound dumb af but ok so every time i get into a new fandom i get rly anxious the first time i try to draw for it, like i feel so stupid trying to draw these new characters n i know the only way to get good at drawing them is to, u know, actually Draw them but for some reason i still always feel like a Fool for even trying so like. that’s a hurdle i have to get over every time i wanna start drawing fanart for a new Thing I Like so you would THINK that if i was gonna go back to drawing for an old fandom i fell out of but have now come back to, like free for example, that wouldnt be an issue right?? like ive already drawn these fools before this should be a piece of cake??? except that like. free came out 5 years ago & to put it lightly my art has improved a Lot since then. free was also my first like, actual anime fandom?? up until that point i’d only been drawing fanart of real people & actors n shit so it was like stylizing a real human, right. so i remember being really intimidated by the thought of trying to draw these anime boys bc holy shit the art style already looked so good how could i possibly convert this into my style, no matter what i did it would be a downgrade right. taking Really Lovely Art & squashing it down to accommodate my limited abilities at the time so i was never really happy with any of the fanart i did back then & i think thats why i was so nervous to draw them again today?? like i sat down w/ my sketchbook, did a little warmup thing (not free), & then just kinda went huh bc like. i know i love doing fanart of the things i love & i know i love free so i knew the logical thing here would be to draw free fanart but i was rly hesitant to try it & almost chickened out, but i stuck through it & drew a haru & then from there i started having ideas for More stuff to draw which turned into a lil series that i want to make & im!!! so glad i got myself to get over that hurdle of First Fanart Anxiety bc if i had just stayed in my comfort zone i wouldnt be working on this new project & i wouldnt have all these sketches im actually rly happy with like! i rly like how today’s drawings came out!! ive honestly been in such a rut w/ art lately & i think this is exactly what i needed to dig myself out & get myself excited to draw again so!! im rly happy!!! today was a Good Day

#retag later #today posts #ok ive been watching a lot of vine comps lately (50 yrs late as usual) #& i swear 2 god literally every time i made some kind of mistake while drawing today my hell brain kept going #''whaddup im rieley im 23 & i never fucking learned how to draw'' EVERY TIME #(i wasn't using reference so it was A Lot Of Times)

[punkscowardschampions]

Indie & Rio

Indie: are you done w him yet cos i have a question like Rio: Sorry Rio: Fire away Indie: serious how do i make it that good Indie: without meshing mckenna Rio: Honestly? You just find out with experience, what you do and don't like, then you have to ask for that Rio: then you ask them what they like and if they know you can do it Rio: most lads your age haven't got a clue but are easily pleased so Indie: 😒💔😒💔 Indie: not what I was hoping youd hit me w Indie: I dont have experience & he does Rio: Soz, if this was Cosmo I'd give you some weird ass tips involving household items but I ain't gonna do you like that Rio: You can get experience with yourself Indie: thats such a ma answer 😂 Rio: It's true tho babe 😂 Rio: Why, didn't you like it? Indie: i was shook i still am Rio: 'Course you were Rio: It's a big deal Indie: not too any other heads in these endz just this bitch here being cringe bout it Rio: Nah, people always lie about that shit Rio: whether it's under or over hyping Indie: we got both cos im amp and hes not bothered is that just how its destined or Rio: How you know that for sure? Indie: 👀 & 👂 Rio: There's so many answers that ain't that still though Rio: 'less I'm missing something Rio: he could be playing it cool 'cos he's as hyped, for example Rio: or just fucking hungover 'cos you know, ain't we all a bit Indie: nah cos last night isnt the only Rio: What you mean? Indie: since i gave him everything now he dont want it Indie: thats how it goes Indie: talking at new ones and bout his olds and how they be like im not there Rio: What a prick Rio: That's not on Indie: cos he dont wanna roll w no tourist which is how i am to this Rio: Nah, don't get it twisted, he don't wanna roll, period Rio: playing a numbers game like a typical teenage boy who's spent too much time alone in his room 🎮👌🍆 Rio: this isn't anything you did or didn't do, fuck that noise Indie: yeah cos i made the chase sick but then couldnt come through how he needed beyond that Indie: just school me and then Rio: Babe Rio: If he don't fuck with loyalty then he don't, that's on him not you Rio: doesn't mean you weren't good and even if you weren't, fuck getting better for a wasteman who ain't trying for you how you need it Indie: its what drew reckons too it aint just me chatting Indie: help me step my game up thats how you do Indie: he was with his previous for time i can make me stay for me too like Rio: What does he know, like Rio: I mean I can show you some things, yeah, but you gotta feel it and feel yourself, you know Indie: hes a lad & he knows the game, how they think & do idk he was on it with what he was saying i felt it Rio: You wanna get on a lad like your Dad Rio: they ain't all the same Indie: cos you landed mckenna & you outta that madness Indie: theyre the same for me Rio: I ain't saying a lot of 'em aren't shit, but like Rio: what about lads like your mates, they're all alright Rio: it ain't one extreme or the other Indie: to roll with if i was trying to link em theyd doing it exactly Indie: rudeboys my age want they want & get it how they do Rio: alright but idc 'bout them Rio: what do YOU want, Inds? Indie: I want him to feel for me how i do for him Indie: like he can do anything to me and wants to Rio: You reckon boys your age get it how they do Rio: so do like them Rio: how'd a fuckboy get your attention? Indie: it aint gonna go that way Indie: he scares me Indie: theres no power in it for me Rio: What scares you about it? Indie: im fallin all the time Indie: its deep and its heavy and its a total madness Rio: Oh baby Rio: If I had the answer to that shit, I'd be selling it for the 💸 and good of us all Indie: he makes me feel owned not like 💍 but 🤡 Indie: i cant do for him anything Indie: boys dont play me i play them 'cept now Rio: That is scary, no avoiding it Rio: Best you can do is front the bad bitch still, even when you ain't feeling it Indie: id let him put a baby in me when were olders and living that and he cant turn from edie for me Indie: what is that gonna be Indie: im just like my ma arent I Rio: Don't say it like a bad thing, your Ma was awesome Indie: nah Rio: She was though Indie: your ma can front it cos she got love for her Indie: if she was she'd be here Rio: nah, she don't get to be reduced to just how she died when her life was more than that Indie: she let him run her & i was never trying to be that but this is me younger and letting a boy play me Rio: You aren't that Rio: and I won't let that play out like that Indie: im over having my own back innit i wanted him to carry Rio: ain't a crime Rio: you got so many of us though, even if a boy does you dirty Rio: you ain't alone Indie: i feel it today Rio: I'm sorry Rio: Do you want to go somewhere with me Rio: I can get rid of Buster but I can't hang with Drew all day getting high, that's all Indie: idc bout mckenna but I want Drew to go Indie: theres a vibe Rio: We'll get rid of him Rio: or duck out home, he can sit here himself if he likes Indie: do you feel it or am i that faded on this 🚬 Rio: Nah, I do Rio: sure we didn't help, sorry again Indie: it's chill Indie: i would if i could Rio: gimme a sec to get decent and we'll bounce Indie: has he hated mckenna proper since the start or is it just since you two started riding each other? Rio: idk what else his reasoning would be tbh Rio: say what you like, he ain't that bad Indie: but he aint your hot half bro Indie: makes no sense Indie: you two can link up if you want Rio: you'd have to ask him, babe, but i wouldn't bother Rio: taking the moral highground on this one, i guess, idc Indie: is caleb home? he needs to cook for me cos mckenna is lax at providing Indie: that breakfast was dred Rio: i'll bell ahead and see if not we'll swing by the restaurant init Rio: did he try and make you eat something healthy? 😂 Indie: safe Indie: shouldve known not to trust a posh boy innit Indie: sneaky greens up in everything like Rio: gotta get those vitamins babe Rio: how cute Indie: youre so whipped for him i cant be listening to none of your words 😂 Rio: Shh 😜 Indie: tell yourself Indie: but nah cos its well too late Indie: 👀 & 👂 man Rio: Erm you keep them 👀 down, I know that door was closed Indie: you two are so amp for each other you aint always keepin it behind em Rio: I know, but it's hard 😩😂 Rio: Honestly, the fact only you and Drew know has me worried for this fam and their senses, like Indie: 😉😉 hes hard is how you mean Indie: standard Indie: might be a tourist still but i aint bait Rio: Don't be nasty 😏 Indie: tell him Indie: that boy so horny for you its a pure madness Rio: you been knew i'm peng gurl come on Indie: making me shook about myself Indie: its rude Rio: 💔 Rio: you ain't gotta be like me Indie: gurl please im not gonna seckle for less than Indie: youre goals Indie: 🔥🔥🔥 Rio: you're a babe Rio: need you about, only one Indie, like Rio: Mum enough for you? Indie: 😂 Indie: does that make mckenna my new daddy 😉 Rio: Watch it 😉 Indie: ✌ thats a yeah if i heard one ever Indie: ill get his take on my 🍒💔 Indie: but not over food like Rio: It's a gonna be a bit weird for us all if we both call him that but not trying to give you incentive biatch 😜 Rio: probably not in front of my actual da either, unless you want his input too Indie: 😂😂😂 Indie: I aint trying to call nobody that Rio: Fair Rio: Can whack it out when you wanna throw subtle shade Indie: innit Indie: marko can dash me fore that word comes outta my mouth Rio: Deffo, you don't need to be on that hype Indie: he called me baby the other day boy please im grown Indie: stop playing Rio: 😂 Rio: See, boy got no clue Indie: him on that shelta and me on my 🍀 aint no wonder we got crossed wires bitch Rio: Sometimes it's better when you ain't know what they 🗣 Rio: Done that, or pretended I ain't fluent like 👋 Indie: innit tho Indie: me on your fams hype like im from there too sometimes Rio: Multilingual and ready to mingle 💃 Indie: bit late to switch that with him but Rio: You know, babe Rio: how you think I got stuck with him 🙄 nightmare, like Indie: fix my face? i gotta be fresh for all the 📷 imma lure this boy back w Indie: a bitch knows how to take a nude least Rio: 'Course Rio: but you best not be putting your face in no nudes Rio: you need denialabilty for so many reasons, main one being its technically CP Indie: no shit my face is for all the snaps to show what a sick time im having Indie: not missing him at all Indie: the nudes are for when he remembers hes missing me Rio: That's allowed then Rio: 👍 Rio: Proceed Indie: i gotta say if tho cos hes still giving me the most air ever Indie: 💔💔💔 Rio: You're gonna fake it so hard you'll actually get there, trust Indie: last nite was so bangin til she fucked it up for me Rio: I know, babe Indie: do you reckon he wouldve Indie: with her Rio: Nah Rio: I mean, idk the lad and he sounds like a bit of a twat but Rio: sure he ain't gonna do you like that Indie: shes got ways tho Rio: She just ain't afraid of anything Rio: it works in her favour sometimes, other times it don't Indie: im not scared of no thing either Rio: 'Course Rio: but you know Rio: Edie not in a good way Indie: yeah Indie: on the subject drew wont go Indie: aint about leaving him here around all our shit but not trying to stay Indie: reckons he needs to chat at you Rio: Right Rio: I'm coming 🙄 ffs man Indie: is mckenna coming home w us? Rio: Up to you, babe Indie: it aint vexing or hyping me either way Indie: if he wants to be schooled for what proper food is Rio: 😂 he's swearing down it was Nance's fault but idk Rio: either way, we got a date so I gotta kick Drew to the curb Indie: standard she does eat how a 🐰 do Indie: he aint done me dirty fore so daddy can have another shot at winning me Rio: I'll let him know, in roughly those words 😏 Indie: tell the boy he gotta get in my snaps 👌 Indie: make me 👑💖 Rio: Gurl, it's literally still a sore subject but we will brawl s2g 😂 Indie: jam mama Indie: not trying to co-ord these bruises Rio: 😘 Rio: Stay 'way from him fr then you get me 👀 Indie: he's just a peng piece of staging Indie: not trying to ride it Rio: s'all 💕 up in here Rio: will be when we've 👋 anyway Indie: i wanna get done again now im 🍒 popped but he can chill on it Indie: not my speed Indie: and I'm too 😍😍😍 Rio: You a fool Rio: but I love ya Indie: you've been chatting at the old man for long Indie: come through w you Indie: ✌✌ Rio: 🙄 no need to tell me, he's in a chatting mood Rio: aight Rio: coming

[helloniiina]

OUR BABY

Ive been sitting here for twenty minutes not knowing how to write this part of my blog. It chokes me up every time I think about it. I never told anyone this part of our story, I was ashamed. I never even told my sisters, you know, the ones you were so jealous of. I hate being vulnerable, if you made it this far I have to say, writing was always my first love, before music and art, its easier to be vulnerable in writing. You always said I sucked at feelings, I did eventually only because you would throw shit in my face about everything I would open up to you about. Personal shit, you would hold all of that over my head. So i stopped talking about feelings.....this is going to be long, grab your snacks.

I went to hang out with my best friend, I didn’t think it would be an issue. She was getting a tattoo, I made these plans ahead of time but of course it was an issue because one, it was her and two, I always had to tell you things ahead of time...okay when did i get a second dad...You said you would be with Chris at the bar in uptown, I didn’t care. He was your best friend, I was glad you were going with him. I needed a breather. You were txting me here and there, then I received a text that you were at the bar with some girl. There was no Chris. People who knew me, saw you. I didn’t say anything at first, I wanted to see how you would play it out, the lie. I was livid, I was dying on the inside. You called me saying some guys were staring you down and that Chris had your back, you guys had already made a plan if anything were to go down. I may have sucked at feelings, but you SUCKED at lying to me. Yet it was so easy for you. I wish i would’ve given the okay for them to confront you, you were already afraid. Anyway, I txt you asking who the fck you were with, that I knew you weren’t there with him. You even lied to me about the fckng bar you were at. Dipshit. In typical fashion of yours, you sent me a huge txt saying she was just a friend and that Im such an insecure person that I was the one ruining our relationship because I didn’t trust you. That my friends were nosy, they all assumed. But the fact was that YOU FUCKING LIED. YOU LIED TO ME ABOUT WHO YOU WENT WITH. Not once did you bring that up, not once did you acknowledge that part. You just turned it all on me, because you were so fucking good at that. You txt me saying you were at the movies and I needed to calm down and go home. Gawd I hate you.

At this time your loser ass didn’t have a car, I knew she would have to drop you off at home, so I went to your street and parked. I turned into that crazy girl I never wanted to be. I waited for an hour, I saw a car parked on Orange, it all clicked when i got all your messages at once because there wasn’t any reception on that stupid street. I knew you were in that car. I walked behind the car to make sure, I saw you making her laugh, leaning over kissing her face. I recognized that stupid beanie you always wore. I went to the drivers side and opened up the door. The look on that poor girls face, she had no idea wtf was happening. And you, it looked like you just shit your pants after having dairy. I asked her if she even knew you had a gf, she said she didn’t and she was so apologetic. I didn’t give a fuck about her, I didn’t care because in the end she really didn’t know you were a piece of shit. You pushed me away from her car, I pushed you back to leave me alone and that we were DONE. You got in my face and said well you didn’t want to fckng hang out so I found someone who did. How shitty to hear an excuse like that, so it was my fault AGAIN. She took off and I went to my car. You blocked me. You said I couldn’t leave until we fixed this, You threw in my face that I once told you if you ever cheated I would work it out with you.  Til this day, I blame myself for that part, I gave you a pass w out even realizing it, but I also didn’t think you would be dumb enough to try it out. I never thought you would ever touch another girl. Especially not while I was pregnant....

Our fight continued, I tried walking away but you just kept grabbing me. I pushed you and then you pushed me down to the ground, I fell so hard on my knee that I still have a knee problem because of that night. I somehow caught my fall weird that I fcked up my pinky so badly that it didn’t heal for months after that fight. It still hurts once in a while when it’s really cold. I tried leaving, you were trying to get my keys from me that when you finally wrestled me for them, I didn’t even care I just wanted to leave so I started walking. You were right behind me, just talking shit about how this was my fault and how I should’ve just went home and how my friends were nosy and should’ve minded their own business. You were wrong though, you shouldn’t have taken that girl out on a date. This was YOUR fault, not mine. I told you to please just let me go, I was cramping, my knee was throbbing. You grabbed my glasses off my face, and climbed on top of my car and said we were fixing it because I was pregnant. Really? All of a sudden you cared about that? That night was intense, it was scary. I didn’t leave until 4am. I was in pain, I was hurt. You put your hands on me multiple times. The next morning I told you to give me her number, she said you txt her that morning asking for a second chance. So basically, you had a fckng fit the night before to keep me but still wanted this girl around??? what in the world. You should’ve let me go, there was always someone else.

The following week is was triggered my depression more than ever, I had bruises all over my arms. My knee was purple, my finger was swollen and purple. I had a miscarriage in those following days and I felt SO alone. I never told anyone about it, I never wanted to talk about it because I wanted to blame myself for ever going to your street that night. I must’ve been a month or two along, we talked about it. I took a test and it was positive, but I never told you that. It was stressful, I didn’t know what to do. I was scared because i knew you weren’t okay mentally or financially, so I never said it out loud. But you knew, we both knew I was carrying our baby. I was sick, I was already gaining weight. I never went to the doctor to go through the process of losing a baby, I just bled for two weeks alone. You never asked if I was okay, you never said you were sorry. You never held me or told me it was going to be okay. I just had to deal with the fact that I caught you with another woman and I was losing our baby all in the same time. I hate you for that, I could never forgive you for that night. I was cramping and you wouldn’t stop. You just kept pushing me and grabbing me. I didn’t start cramping until that first push to the ground. You didn’t care though, sometimes when I think about it, maybe the universe had other plans for me, maybe its a good thing. I probably would’ve ended up being a single mother eventually. You didn’t check up on me in those following weeks, you just made it about you anytime I would accuse you of something, you would tell me you wouldn’t fuck around after we just lost a baby. You’re so fucked up in the head considering you were always fucking around. You turned me into this angry, depressed person. At that time, I knew what you were capable of, I felt stuck. But I also was afraid to be alone.

I lost a part of myself that month. A part that I don’t know if I’ll ever get back because til this day I haven’t felt like myself since that night, since my loss. You knew I wanted kids, You know how much I LOVE being a mom. I still cry about that night and how weak you made me feel, Im still ashamed that I never did anything about it and that I still fucking stayed with you. I will always hate you for that whole month, I cant find any forgiveness in my heart because you didn’t care. You knew I was pregnant and you still asked that girl from your dating app for a second chance. You didn’t care about my feelings. You were so selfish. I could never wish anything bad upon anyone, not even you, but I hope losing our baby stays with you forever. I hope you think about that when you decide to treat someone shitty. And I hope that by the time you do have kids, you have grown the fuck up because nobody deserves to go through what you made me go through.

[booksbroadwaybbc]

I fucked up via /r/selfimprovement

I fucked up

This is so sad Let me post in points

1) In my 18 years of existence I've never had a real friend 2) I just got awful grades in A Levels in part from derealization and symptoms of bipolar (hypermania etc) 3) Girls are disgusted with my bloated sense of self worth 4) I have to take at least 2 gap years 5) at 16 I was set for Oxford/LSE Law 6) now, well if i get aaa or above, with a gap year/foundation year, I'll be lucky to get Russell group law, (my bad results will still come up) 7) might have to do mfl not law 8) derealization disorder 9) my parents think im a loser 10) my friends think im a loser 11) i tried to act like mr incredible with a girl who is quite cute, needless to say she was creeped out and blocked me 12) ditto with some other girls who i saw as pieces of meat, not friends 13) I'm out of shape 14) I'm unemployed 15) I don't tell my parents about my plans to get into uni, I didn't before and I tried to troll them and my entire sixth form 16) I'm a shit pianist 17) Honestly, I find it hard that girls go for the v top guys but thats on me not working hard enough on myself, none of that deeply strange incel shit 18) i live off my 12 year old self 19) im egotistical 20) Kanye copied some of my tweets 21) im sad 22) broke 23) want to be an entrepreneur but no capital 24) make lies and false perceptions of myself to make myself look better and i know its bad for me 25) twitter addiction 26) ostracized from friends 27) might get a note on my medical conditions /personality disorder for uni 28) im a genuine awful person who seemingly can't live life without perpetuating a victim narrative entailing myself, other people 29) tried to fit uni into my own self perception although admittance to uni, means you're the sum of high calibre people with a shared perception of the world 30) no style 31) i soil my boxers 32) my boxers are too small for me 33) i can't imagine myself in the future, my prospects. 34) i find adhering to social norms hard 35) i used social media heavily to fit in and messed up my neural pathways probably 36) im paranoid of people for no reason 37) i get burnt out 38) i find creativity genuinely hard these days as a musician 39) im a virgin 40) never socially interacted with anyone in my life without some premise or point to prove 41) thrived off self delusion and shared delusions of myself to cope 42) im provocative 43) i can't behave functionally 44) no relationships of meaning 45) no meaning to academic subjects/uni etc 46) bad at networking 47) cant deal with the fact that i have no clout and no relevance 48) can't deal with the fact that you can be blocked/cancelled and we live in a psudoreality of monolithic thought where any experimentation is enough for you to be made an outcast 49) my awful grades 50) not doing homework 51) messing up tests 52) not being a normal boy 53) not conforming 54) not confirming to expectations of me laid out by society 55) not believing in society but rather socialisation theory whereby society is merely a shared simulation amongst those you interact with 56) paranoid of peoples intentions towards me 57) i see certain people as superior to others for no reason 58) subjectivity 59) lack of critical thinking 60) lack of leadership 61) being irresponsible 62) being depressed 63) being unhappy 64) no experience with girls 65) no spontaneity 66) no inspiration 67) no mojo 68) no belief in others belief in me 69) suspicion as to others intentions 70) not being upfront with parents 71) lieing 72) no friendships from shared love for eachother 73) no love 74) no inherent value 75) no good reputation 76) seeking to replace reputation with character 77) being rude 78) loads of beliefs on social dynamics, perception, politics, philosophy 79) trolling 80) bipolar symptoms 81) egomanical inner child 82) dopamine addiction 83) i acted confident to instill a cult of personality 84) no confidence 85) storing behaviours on social media ln my twitter feed 86) cold calling through twitter 87) networking 88) russian orthodox church 89) internships 90) awful grades 91) couldn't accept being a student at my school 92) ego contest w my dad 93) parents lack of feelings 94) no clothes basically 95) network with a company called dopamine 96) interested in social chain, a company 97) i want clout 98) i want a girl who cheats on me for being weak 99) i want friends that challenge me 100) i want to stop being an arsehole 101) i reinforced a perception of myself in my rational friends, everytime they work its reinforced. an emotional paradox 102) im russian 103) im a ruthless insincere trolling retarded inbred nasty person 104) my friends are lse/oxford so by virtue of soc theory i should be but out of spite i failed and i dragged my whole sixth form on twitter for no reason 105) not productive 106) not helpful 107) selfish 108) a zillion red flags/a huge red flag 109) wanted to dominate/cuck the guys for no reason 110) no self respect, no-one knows what i like, my personality etc 111) trolled everyone but i believed their perception of my troll 112) get blocked 113) nihilistic 114) evil 115) multiple perceptions of the world 116) stuck on whether uni/entrepreneurship/data s/clout/music is best uh 117) pissed off a girl 118) chapped lips 119) fake narcissist 120) real life russian bot 121) no loyalty 122) no friendship 123) no faith 124) spite 125) no daily routine/job/gym/noticeable measurable improvement 126) tried to fuck family friend 127) virgin 128) obsessive 129) obsessed with projection on ig, facebook, social media 130) obsessed with debating 131) obsessed w my self perception, clout, legend, making fake degrees, lies for dopamine, perception, women, jokes (persona) 132) obsessed with deals 133) obsessed with trump, i wish this mofo never lived, i hate and love the guy fml 134) structure/schema is an obsession 135) diet 136) perception in general 137) ethics in general 138) motivation 139) think tanks 140) obsessed with planning/anticipation over doing it 141) lie about my age (im 14 not 18) so i have extra years and eh perception

thats enough for now feel like kms but not yet

*summary

j was lit but i gave up on myself bc of high school social dynamics awful stuff now i need to take another 2 years out for a mediocre- mid tier degree in law with caveats no ego .

Submitted September 02, 2018 at 12:51AM by dopamineway via reddit https://ift.tt/2Pttswt

#IFTTT #reddit