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kurosstuff · 1 month

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Hihi Lovely~

I have a fluff prompt for the followers event

🍯 Reader (can be fem or gn i dont mind) is an exorcist and they get really hurt on the last exorcism and so they are gone for weeks and Sera is freaking out and can’t come see them cause of her work. But they surprise her with flowers and showing up when she’s working?? (They escaped the hospital-)

Hi sweetie ~ thank you for requesting! Hope you like it♡♡

Warming(s): fighting detailed? Idk I don't know how to write fights. Blood. Sera being a worry wart

Sera x GN!Exorcist! reader: Escape artist

The job was supposed to be easy.

It was almost always easy. But not this time. Somehow? The demons were told how to fight back. How to win. How to hurt angels. You weren't even aware that was possible. But seeing both your bosses reactions? You growled now annoyed. They knew.

Of fucking course they knew.

And they didn't tell the Exorcists? The actual FUCK is that? You raged, slicing demons left and right covered in a mix of angel blood and demon blood. Taking a deep breath, your wings flapped in anger. You weren't surprised. Their too prideful to have warned anyone. You silently cursed, Adam and Lute.

If you knew you could get hurt? Your arm wouldn't have been bleeding. You wouldn't have ran face first into battle. Dodging an attack from your opponent, you easily sliced his arm off. "Hands off, sinner," you growled out. Punching the demons face away from you.

Unaware of the crowd forming behind you. Unaware it was all a trap for you. Hands grabbed you snarling you glared at the sinners. "Unhand me-" your voice cut out from a scream escaping you as a demon broke your arm. Another grabbing your weapon, stabbing into you repeatedly, making you lose so much blood. Everything went black when you heard a familiar voice yelling at you - blurred vision - as you saw what looked to be Adam rushing to you

It was quiet as Sera worked. A usually calming day turned to an unsettling feeling. Sera felt off. It was so unnerving that - why did she have such a bad feeling? Like it wasn't as calming as she assumed? As she hoped? Glancing at the feather around her neck, she smiled, kissing it gently. "Be safe, my love. Soon, you'll be here. Back" a loud bang down the hall was heard followed by yells of something. Leaning back, she tapped her feathered pen humming that unnerving feeling grew.

Sera stopped seeing Adam. Who? Weirdly was quiet. Putting her pen down, she watched. Waiting for him to speak. Watching how uncomfortable he was. A bad feeling crept up her. She didn't like this. Not one bit. As he spoke, she listened to him. Listened to how he spoke of an accident. What exactly what happened he wouldn't say until he said your name. Her blood ran cold. Her extra eyes popping out, staring him down

"What?"

Adam gulped "i- like I said. Your mate? Y/N? Got hurt. Badly." Knowing it was his fault. And by the look in her eyes? She knew it too "look- I- no one saw the demon. No one expected them to try to fight back Ser- High Leader" correcting himself knowing how she got in when mad. Better to be fully respectful. Despite her being kind- she is still a Seraphim.

"I told you. To keep them safe. You know how-" she snarled about to break her composure. Covering her face, giving her a second. Swallowing her rage "Adam. You are excused. Do not allow another to come in here for the time being" making him nod

"I think- I think you should visi-"

"What did I say?"

At that? He turned rushing off without a word. No matter how she wished to. She can't visit. She's the high leader. She has a job to do. No matter how she longed to see her Mate. To see her love. To see how their doing. She can't

Picking up the pen, she sighed, knowing? You were aware of it as well.

Weeks.

A full three weeks since the last extermination. Since Sera saw you. Heard from you- she wasn't sure what was going on. Frantically, she focuses on her work. To not lose her composure. Yet. She wondered. Are you ok? Do you wish she gave up her work her responsibilities? To rush to your side?

Taking a deep breath, she played with the feather nervous. Oh, how she hopes you know even if she wanted to. She couldn't be able to. Not with her rules. Not with how important her reputation is. Closing her eyes. She hummed

She needed more coffee.

And by God does she need it bad.

Taking a full three weeks to rest was boring. Didn't matter the broken arm nor how the stitches in your sides burned. Made you wince by even moving. You sighed, glancing out the window, smiling the best you could. Half your face bandaged up from the slashes. Thank God it was from a normal weapon you thought. Can't lose an eye. But luckily it'll reheal itself

Glancing around the room, you hummed, thinking before smirking at a thought. You could sneak out. See Sera- God, do you miss her. Humming softly you hopped she was resting. Not overworking when she's upset or panicked.

But you knew better.

You knew she was despite you wishing otherwise. Cause, of course, she'd worry. Of course, she'd panic. So? She's over working herself.

Getting up was the tricky part. Legs aren't broken, no, but the pain in your body was too great. Thankfully, your wings were somehow in perfect condition. Helping you get up, flapping to stand up. Taking a deep breath, ignoring how your body begged you to get back to bed. To rest.

You needed to see your mate.

Luckily, it didn't take too long.

Just needed to rush to get flowers avoid the guards(who knew you'd probably run) and escape to Seras office. Now- the tricky part sneaking INTO her office. No doubt if her guards saw? They'd wisk you back to the hospital. Not wanting to be in trouble for aiding a break out.

Snickering at the thought, you held the flowers close, flying past some guards easily. Making you hum. Surely their not that blind no? Surely theyd.. be more vigilant. More watchful.

But no.

They arent

Good thing for this, but.. bad job at guarding. Rolling your eyes, you entered into her office frowning, seeing how ruffled her feathers are. Walking up to her, you gulped, nervous. Would she be upset your here?

"Thought I said no guests. Leave. I'm in no mood"

Your nerves melted at her voice no matter how angry she sounded. You were just glad to hear from her after weeks, "Not even your mate?" AT that? She snapped up, looking dead at you. Blank. Before she teared up, smiling tiredly rushing to you gently lifting upu "got flowers?"

"Oh my swan~ who cares for that? Your..your ok~ your here-" she stopped staring at you, her wings enveloping you in a hug "you snuck out. You should be resting. Not- not here!" She scoffed but the smile on her face? Said otherwise

"Needed to see you," you smiled softly, kissing her knuckles as she gently nuzzled you. "I missed you. I know you're a busy woman, but.. I was hoping you'd be resting?" Kissing her softly as she hummed

"If I did. It wouldn't be good. I'd be pulling my feathers out to find you -" whispering softly to you, holding you closer. Sighing, she reluctantly away. "My swan. You need to go back. As much as.. I wish for you to stay. You can't. Your stitches need constant watch" she frowned Kissing you again gently

"Only if you take a break"

"My swan," she huffed, giving you a look, making you huff shrugging

"Then I guess.. I'll stay here?" With a deep sigh knowing she lost she nodded. Rubbing your waist gently "fine I'll. I'll take breaks. Not long ones but.. fine" she grumbled as you grinned nodding

If this is what you're both gonna see after the five weeks are up? You both can wait another two. But for now. Until the nurses come retrieve you. She'll cradle you close. Gently as if you'd break. She's let herself be a bit selfish until then. Take her much needed break

#hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel #sera seraphim #hazbin hotel sera #sera x reader #seraphim #EVENT

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gavisuntiedboot · 1 year

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Soft glow (Gavi x reader)

28 day writing prompt challenge - prompts are here

Day 1: Taking off your makeup for you

"Amor you'll never believed what happened on the flight back!"

You groaned from where you laid on the couch. Gavi had gone to England to play a league match against Manchester United. You were by no means a clingy person. You valued your space, and tried to develop a relationship with Pablo where you were comfortable not being attached at the hip. But this time you missed him. Everything in your life felt different for the week he was gone. Coffee tasted a little too bitter. The weather was always a little too cold. The sun always set a little too early. You felt weirdly lonely despite constantly being around people. For the first time, you started to count the hours until Gavi came home.

You wanted it to be special. You wanted to greet him with all the love and adoration that made his absence painful. You washed yourself with his favorite scents, taking extra time to enjoy the feeling of the hot water on your skin. You did you hair and makeup, making you more confident, and inviting you to check yourself out in every reflective surface in the house. You slipped into a long black dress and decided to lounge around just being your gorgeous self until he got home.

But nothing good goes unpunished - the world could not let you feel beautiful without consequence, and half an hour before he got home, you started feeling a splitting headache. The pain was in your temples and behind your eyes, sending a wave of nausea through your body. You turned the lights off and laid across the couch, praying that you wouldn't throw up.

Gavi was never one to do anything softly or quietly. Passion and fire were injected into everything he did: from the way he called your name, the way he embraced you after a long day, to his entrance into your shared home after his week away. He could not wait to have you in his arms and bed lol after seeing you only through sporadic facetime calls. But as he entered the dark living room and saw you splayed across the couch, a chill went through his body. Throwing his bags to the ground, he kneeled by your body and shook your shoulder.

"Are you okay? What happened? Why are you sitting in the dark?"

You groaned and rolled over. It still felt like you were being stabbed in the skull, and you were still ready to throw up the dinner you had not eaten. "I'm ok Pablito. I have a really terrible headache right now, so I'm pretty sensitive to light... and loud noises." You added. He quickly removed his arm from your shoulder. All of his features softened, and his honey eyes widened.

“Ay, perdón bébé. I had no idea.”

His voice was now just above a whisper. He looked over your form, taking in how you looked draped over the couch. The dress you wore hugged every curve of your body. The one lamp still on draped you in an ethereal light.

“You look gorgeous. You got dressed up for me?”

You lifted your head, nodding slowly with sleepy eyes.

“Come with me bébé. Let’s go to bed.”

You groaned, not wanting to move and make your headache worse. You felt Gavi slip his hand under your back and legs, and suddenly you were off the couch. He lifted you bridal style and carried you to your chafed bedroom, placing you softly on the bed. He caresses your back softly, reaching for the zipper of your dress.

“What’re you doing Pablo?”

“Helping you get ready for bed.”

“It’s ok, I’ll do it in a second. I have to take my makeup off anyways.”

“I can do that for you.”

Before you could reply, you heard Pablo’s footsteps rush off to the bathroom. He emerged once again with micellar water and cotton.

“How did you-“

“We’ve been living together for 7 months. I noticed what you use to take your makeup off.”

You let out a breathy laugh as he soaked the cotton and began gently wiping your face, starting with your eyes and then moving around. Once he had gotten all the makeup off, he helped you slip out of your dress. He rummaged through the drawers before finding a large band t-shirt you often wore to bed, helping you slip it on.

You opened your eye slightly to watch Pablo as he walked to the other side of the room to get changed. He peeled off the shirt and sweats he wore on the plane.

“You’re so sweet Pablo. Thank you for taking care of me.”

“Bébé, if I’m not going to take care of you, then who on the world am I going to care for? I love you.”

He joined you in bed, a pair of pajama pants hanging low on his waist and his chest bare. Gavi kissed your forehead and brought you close to his chest, the rhythmic beat of his heart lulling you to sleep.

“Get some sleep so you feel better.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: basing this off of my own headache today. Thanks for reading day 1 of @hayleysprompts ‘s 30 day writing prompts!! (Post linked at the top). Hope y’all enjoy and can’t wait to write tomorrow’s as well.

Edit: I forgot to put a title on it the first time 😭 who let me write smh

#gavi #gavi x reader #pablo gavi #pablo gavi x reader #fc barca #gavi x you #pablo gavi imagine #barca #footballer imagine #gavi imagine #gavi fanfic #gavi fluff

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gabessquishytum · 4 months

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I've been watching ER lately (a medical drama show from the 90s/2000s) and one of the later story lines made me think of Dreamling <3

so!

Dream is an ER doctor in the states and Hob is a flight nurse. They meet on a plane to Vegas and spend the weekend together, eventually getting drunkenly married. While they both had a lot of fun, they plan to get it annulled when they get a chance.

Except because this is fanfiction, they can't get it annulled because they consummated the marriage (repeatedly and enthusiastically) and so they must either stay married or deal with a costly divorce <3

So they decide to give it a year (the sex is that good, ok, and they both think the other is cute) and see where it goes. At the sixth month mark, they finally meet each other's sons (with Calliope there, of course- Hob absolutely charms the pants off of her).

And then there's an accident with Hob's helicopter and Hob almost dies. And Dream realizes he's in love.

And then one of them gets pregnant and wouldn't you know it, Dream's sister Death also works in the hospital as an OBGYN. (she's... weirdly well liked by most of the parents she delivers for, despite her name).

They finally move in together when the year is up and Dream paints the nursery with Orpheus and Robyn (and promises that there'll be a new wedding for them to be in- he even has a new ring sitting in his pocket just waiting) <3 <3 <3

Omggg we love an accidental Vegas wedding!! Also i like to think that Dream could probably totally afford the divorce but he just really, really doesn't want another one because he's been divorced several times already and it's becoming a Thing.

And the sex is really that good.

So good that they start to forget all about things like condoms. Perhaps Hob happens to be trans and he's so manly and masculine that he and Dream both just forget that he still has the parts for making a baby (they may be doctors, but they are also himbos). Or perhaps mpreg is totally real. But either way, Hob has this terrible helicopter accident, is super traumatised, goes and has passionate and comforting sex with his husband... and 8 weeks later finds himself in Doctor Death's office, looking at the baby they made on the ultrasound. It's a lot to take in.

He ends up phoning Calliope and having a whole emotional breakdown to her, and she provides a much needed pep talk. With Calliope and Death supporting him, he's able to reveal the pregnancy to Dream and also announce that he's going to take a break from his career while he recovers from everything that's happened. He really wants more time with the kids and to actually make a go of this marriage with Dream (who he has totally fallen in love with, of course).

When they finally have their proper wedding, Calliope walks Dream down the aisle to where Hob is waiting with Robyn, Orpheus and the new baby. Death officiates the ceremony (and she does a much better job than the Elvis impersonator who married them the first time).

The sex is still mind-blowing. So good that Hob has promised if they ever divorce, he's taking Dream’s dick with him. He knows a really good urologist, from work 😉

#the sandman #dreamling #nsft #cw mpreg #cw pregnancy

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random-doctor-on-the-internet · 1 month

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Beloved mortals, maggot invaders, and all the lost good omens admirers (seriously, what the hell are you doing here), as some of you may know, I am giving art lessons as a part-time job. Due to pressure from @weirdly-specific-but-ok , I am now bound to tell you about my Tuesday evening classes. Y’all know Fifty Shades Of Gray, now, prepare yourself for

Fifty Shades Of Grans

Dramatic music, whatever rizz happens in the soundtrack of this kind of movie, I don't know, I fell asleep after 5 minutes.

So, yeah, the class. It all starts, as it will end (will it? At this rate, my life surely will), in a church.

Why a church? I am a simple man: the town tells me to work in an abandoned church, I work in an abandoned church.

So, every Tuesday, I go there to meet my ten young retirees. I should've started suspecting something is wrong when they started calling me "young master", two weeks after meeting me. I passed this one, thinking that they're old and don't realise what they're saying, no need to make a scene.

It was going well until last week, where I made them draw blindfolded people. It takes 5 mins for them to start making jokes about the various situations in which you can use these blindfolds, none of these having a place in god's (abandoned) house. And that's the moment where one of them, pretty deaf, chooses to intervene, thinking that they're complaining about the difficulty of the thing and whispering "oh, but I kinda like that". The class turns into a debate about whether or not that gran keeps various items such as handcuffs, children, metallic poles and whips in her house. I'm afraid that the answer pointed towards "yes" at the end.

Who knows. Perhaps they sorted everything out on their WhatsApp group where they exchange strategies to make me suffer.

But that doesn't stop here. Yesterday, they had to draw human bodies. My OnlyGrans somehow managed to draw naked men, despite the models being clearly fully dressed women. Do I need to mention that they had eyes instead of nipples? Artistic freedom, what can I say.

All that to tell that I'm being bullied by kinky women in their late 70's. At this point, I'm afraid of next week. Someone, save me.

#bedtime stories for little mafiosi #sorry kids but we have to make a second book #this isn't for you #bedtime stories for grown-up mafiosi?

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delunesnumberonefan · 13 days

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saskia and belialah. the empress and her shadow.

...im breaking my own rule of not posting any more original creations here but idgaf---i'll post some sketches and if there's interest i can throw this fic i'm working on up on ao3 for the monsterfuckers in the audience

so, backstory on THESE TWO:

i'm gonna go in real life order of events and talk about some of the inspos that went into some of these moments and where they were in our real life timeline of Experiencing these two

under the cut bc i must remain polite in the face of my hyperfixations

HELLO I MAY BE POLITE BUT IM RABID LETS GOOOOOOOOO

ok so, canonical order of events: saskia (matriarch) and belialah (demon lord) meet, they establish an alliance, belialah does stuff for saskia. at some point, saskia starts amassing her generals (we'll get there) and chooses belialah. somewhere in here as well, saskia splits from the empire and starts doing her Evil Deeds for her Evil Plans. I'm not sure which of the last two came first. in either case, lost later meets belialah, we haven't seen her (physically) since (but that's not a good thing i don't think)

irl order of events:

Saskia throws a Fit, kills her nephew, and withdraws from the empire at large. we make fun of her because though she's the big bad, she's also weirdly wet and pathetic. we hate her. she's so sucks. and also so sexy. its bad

time goes by, things happen, eventually there's a big party with all the matriarchs!!! yaaaaay

lost and gilt go because ofc we do, and there's a big dance where everyone keeps changing partners. at the end of the dance, lost gets belialah

...elven ish woman. obviously weird. too pale skin. black hair. disheveled appearance. ill-fitting dress. holds herself weird. talks with a tremble and a breathiness to her voice that immediately makes us uncomfortable (my mans can do some fuckin VOICES and don't get me started on the sound effects). belialah says she's a huge fan---of lost's father. the being from before creation whose whole thing is "immortal life but not in the good way" instead of "you won't die" it's "you can't die" there is no death to escape from life, no matter the suffering.

so--red flags.

she tells lost that she's one of saskia's generals, and that saskia sent her to give lost a message: saskia is so excited for her to come home, and that lost should bring her brothers (6 beings of various otherworldly heritage like lost--saskia has a type and it is monsters) when she comes home. Lost tells her to tell saskia, from her and gilt, to fuck off.

belialah goes...monstrous. red eyes start popping open all over her skin and she gets quiet and threatening about how lost is disrespectful and how--yeah, she will tell saskia that. and she leaves in a cloud of black vapor

i turn to chase. i say "oh they're fucking"

and he hits me with "...belialah would probably like to!"

and i hit the ground running. sprinting. i was off into the distance without another fucking word. little roselyn-shaped dust cloud left behind.

fic. art. works. stuff. so much. headcanons. throwing everything at the wall. attempts at first time. attempts at canon. saskia bitchiness. belialah wanting to smash despite the great danger to her personal health. weird fetish fic. modern!au. headcanons about modern!au. deep dives. analysis. narrative foils. sex. so much sex.

it's everything. they're everything

i want them to be terrible together. that's all i want. that's all i've ever wanted.

i set about creating for them in a frenzy--it's been love and war time for...since early may of last year?? some coming up on a year, now (again---150k words written in this time, with april's word count unknown but already above 10k. jan ALONE was 32k). love and war time means that it's always love and war--it's just different people inside the campaign. oh it's saskia oh it's freya it's gilt and lost let's bop over to adele what about gilt's parents-

FOR AN ENTIRE YEAR

it's been great.

Chase messaged summer and i a few weeks ago like "hey. i got a belialah meeting saskia inspo video, but i need to show you in person bc i need to get your reaction live."

he showed me this

we had a moment of "...oh my god its from a gacha game?" and then i made him play it three times in a row just Absorbing the vibes

chase: it's saskia and belialah when they first meet, with belialah thinking she has the upper hand and saskia proving that she is very, very wrong. but i don't know what a ball in the abyss looks like...

me: say no more

and i hit upon them meeting at an event where it's basically like---demons from all over gather, have a civil time---when bloodshed eventually happens (which it always does bc they're literal actual demons) it's a free for all and it's expected to be a bloodbath, that's part of the appeal

belialah's there, as you do, and saskia's there to talent scout from the pool of winners for her big evil plans. belialah's like "wtf is a stupid little mortal doing here why are you unaccosted where is your collar" kinda behavior and goes over there, they talk, they dance (also a ploy for power among demons, it's a sizing up thing instead of a fun thing), saskia reveals that she's got 1/8th of the power of a god in her soul and belialah's like "cool im fanatically devoted to you now i've never wanted to smash a mortal before can we make out"

and that's how they start their history

with me writing books about this campaign (again--pipe dream) i've been deciding on when and where i want these two to get highlighted, bc, again---we've never met saskia in person, she's spoken to lost and gilt directly once, and we've seen belialah once outside of saskia's bitchy announcement to the empire at large where she reveals she's got 12 generals and you better not try shit bc we're at WAR now (she's stupid i love her dearly)

and recently i've been working on their...first time? an epilogue for one of the books. the actual thing won't have sex in it if it gets to be part of the book for realsies, but im not stopping there bc IM ME

and i've been tinkering with like...ok how do we show in isolated little epilogues and snippet scenes that saskia and belialah have INSANE sexual tension so that when they do get together, its weird but satisfying bc again---belialah is a demon. she's got a human form. that is not her true form. i've drawn it, it's sexy to saskia, i'll post it soon.

but i need these two to snark at each other with saskia resisting belialah's advances bc "im trying to take over the world stop distracting me" while belialah's like "SASKIA LEMME SMASH. PLEASE" until eventually it happens because they're terrible and i love them and it needs to happen, frankly. im overruling my boyfriend. at the point we are at, they are fucking already. he does not have a choice. im overruling him.

chase, if you're reading this--the goal with this first time fic is to make it plausible enough that you accept it as canon. thank you.

bc like--they're terrible. they're perfect. they've both got bratty younger sibling/cocky hotshot who thinks they're invincible kinda energy and belialah has no doubt in her mind that saskia can achieve her goals and saskia is getting someone who will stroke her ego and is having the thought of "im being recognized for how amazing i am it's about time"

the generals have made deals with saskia---saskia is planning on following through with 0% of these deals. belialah is the only one who didn't--she's here by saskia's side of her own free will.

they're fucking. at this point, they are fucking. decades of sexual tension kept alive by distance and "hello old friend" energy is suddenly coming to head with Belialah Always Being Around and saskia having to plan out her evil deeds with her being nutso devoted 24/7 and listen, man. this woman has an ego the size of the planet. she's gonna smash someone who inflates her ego, it's just how she works

ok lore dump over. sketch time now.

#roselyn talks #love and war #saskia tag #belialah tag #the empress and her shadow #i am. Unwell.#these two make me Unwell

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thatdesklamp · 7 months

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Hey! I hope you are doing well this week!!

I’ve become absolutely obsessed with Gojo’s POVs , I think the way you write him is so fascinating. I really like seeing how we get Hebi’s POV and then see Gojo’s reactions to what we read.

This will be so long, im so so sorry. Thank you for taking the time to read.

I just wanted to come in here and muse/ask questions about Gojo and his good ol’ thoughts.

My first question/musing is: When do you think Gojo actually started to realize that he had feelings for Hebi. I felt like he had feelings for Hebi before chapter 15 (2010), but it seemed as if he reacted to the idea of Hebi wanting to fall in love with two different reactions. The first one to me is that he’s offended that Hebi wouldnt ever tell him about any crushes she has had (why would she, shes had a crush on the same man since she was 14). To me, Gojo just felt super offended that Hebi keeps relationship stuff like that under-wraps. The second reaction is that he could finally(?) let himself have hope that him and Hebi could work out, that he isnt just yearning for something that isnt possible. Its like a confusing mix between the two, which I thought was super interesting.

Maybe I’m reading into Gojo’s actions wrong but I’m completely sure the shoulder injury moment where he’s just hovering over and healing her was NOT COMPLETELY INNOCENT. I also think the part during the beach vacation where Gojo is smiling at Hebi when she has her gloves removed also romantically coded. I’m just so intrigued in what Gojo is thinking because Im so sure Hebi is completely in her own head 24/7 and doesnt even register some moments.

He’s so interesting to see through Hebi’s eyes, you did such a great job with him as a character.

Feel free not to answer this one since its slightly more NSFW and about chapter 17 (im just super curious). I will not be too explicit in my wording so sorry if its worded weirdly?

I’m curious if Gojo has ever thought about Hebi while he’s doing the act like Hebi did in chapter 17 (2012). Hebi seems to be doing it casually and she doesnt even care about the thing that shes doing, but I wonder if Gojo has done it. In chapter 16, it seems like he was super focused in on Hebi despite him having a girl who has been paying attention to him (assumingely kissing him, etc). Does Gojo try and not think about Hebi that way, does he even realize that she may feel the same towards him and he’s resisting because of what he did to her when they were 15? I’m more on the inbetween of the two ideas I presented. I think Gojo really, really cares for her romantically but absolutely refuses that she feels the same because of everything that he did to her, how he broke her trust. It feels as if he’s punishing himself for his past actions. Maybe Hebi is a little obvious with her unforgiving nature she has with that incident.

I’m just so curious these two characters seem so intune and out of tune with each other and they keep missing each other on important feelings and thoughts

What happens in chapter 17 seems like Hebi is disassociating too, that shes not even there. I just feel so bad for everyone in that chapter, its so horrifying. I do hope that Hebi and her boyfriend get outta that relationship next chapter because Im sure both of them can tell it isnt working out.

thank you again for reading, you crafted such an amazing story.

Ok so here’s the thing—in my head I definitely know when I think Gojo started having feelings for Hebi, as it’s when I started writing him as having feelings for her. But idk, I’ve always been more reluctant to spell it out so explicitly, as the author, because I love the ambiguity that comes from only having one POV and I also love hearing other people’s theories and ideas. Seeing the different ways things have been interpreted is honestly one of the best things about writing for ao3 and I’ve always been so hesitant to squash that by putting in my own opinion?

And so I guess this is all one big disclaimer: just because I say stuff on the side like this, it doesn’t really make it ‘canon’ or any more worthwhile than your own interpretations? I’m such a huge advocate for ‘death of the author’ (more detail in the link below if you’re interested), that basically says the reader’s interpretation trumps the author’s intention all the time, no matter what.

Sure, I might have started writing him as being in love with her since 2006 (I didn’t, btw). However, if I didn’t convey that well enough, or if you can find enough evidence or ‘vibes’ that would disprove that, and indicate something else, then you fucking go for it. That’s your canon.

I hope that makes sense. Tl;dr, listen to me if you’d like and if you’re interested in my intentions, but don’t listen to me/don’t pay attention if you think it’ll sour your own interpretation, or if you think I’m the ultimate god on any of this. (I’m not, no matter what Ian McEwan in ‘Atonement’ tries to say—“how can a novelist reach atonement when, with her absolute power of deciding outcomes, she is also God?” blah blah blah whatever, if you haven’t heard already this is an Ian McEwan hate page)

ANYWAY. On to the actual fanfic discussion LOL. The English lit girlie in me takes over sometimes, sorry.

My actual intentions, revealed!! I’ve discussed it in comments, more ambiguously than now, but one of the big debates around Gojo’s feelings seems to be his revelation in 2010. It’s for sure some huge realisation (I think that’s pretty evident), but some people were saying how he’s clearly only just realised his feelings, and some were saying that he’s only realised the depth of them.

For me, it was the latter. I thought of it as the way I thought of Hebi’s own realisations; she actually has two, one in 2001, when she figures out that she likes him in this far-off, confusing way (“Something has changed, in the way you see him, and you realise you can no longer try to pretend it hasn’t.” -> nothing explicit verbalised, but it’s clear that she’s no longer thinking about him platonically), and then the traditional oh/on moment in 2004, where she realises she loves him. As in, love-love, Loves him.

I always figured Gojo went through something similar, which I thought was pretty cute of him, lol. For me, 2010 was his ‘oh/oh’ moment; he’s known, sure, but he’s been denying it, or he’s been explaining it some other way, or he’s just not been thinking about it. But then he realises: he’s in big, fat, capital-L Love. And so he freaks.

This explains all of your other questions, I think! The shoulder incident when they’re at his house together? Not innocent whatsoever. As people pointed out, there was no reason for him to practically be on top of her, and not for him to be getting all flustered/blushy (self-indulgent, yes, but necessary) about it, either. And the beach episode! In my head, he defo had some degree of feelings for her at that point, too: there are a few (very vague and subtle) moments, really clearly tarred by Hebi’s pov, that I did write as the tiniest hints about his feelings. Very much, if you’re looking for them, maybe maybe they’ll appear, lmao.

Such as, when Hebi’s getting changed into a swimsuit and Gojo’s back is turned, she walks past him and doesn’t look back to check his reaction to her. It takes him a “moment” (in which she is “panicked”, yes) to actually follow her, leading her to think “he’s not following [her], like [she’s] walking off to the sea on [her] own”. It’s the subtlest, tiniest thing ever… but why does he wait? Why doesn’t he just follow her straight away? If I were to write his POV of the chapter, it would definitely be highlighting that split-second delay of the first time he sees her in anything skimpier than pyjamas (a two-piece, at that!), and of him absolutely not being able to function enough to follow her. Of course, it also would include him slapping a smile on and following, even if he does have to keep his “his eyes on the sea”, just to make sure he’s not getting too distracted.

Another few moments, in the same chapter: the “affectionate, but also slightly sad” look he gives her when she smiles at her bare hands (pining central here, folks), which I think is the moment you’re referring to. Or the moment when she puts on his glasses, gives him her best Gojo-impression wink, and his “mouth closes, and his eyebrows lower, slightly. He swallows.” I’ve written it enough (especially over here) that I think it’s pretty evident that he really, really likes seeing her in his clothes. It’s a thing.

Listen, I thought I was being pretty over-the-top with my earlier Gojo-pining moments, but I listened to the comments and realised I really, really wasn’t. I tried to make it a bit more obvious as we went along, but, hey! Reader interpretation trumps all!

I don’t know how many IW readers have read my other longish fic, ‘Soli Deo Gloria’? Haikyuu, childhood friends to lovers, soulmate au with worldbuilding and religious themes, all the fun stuff. I wrote it over a year ago, which shows, at some points, in the fic (lol), but for something I wrote a while ago I can’t say I’m not pretty proud of it. Anyway, it’s written from the perspective of someone in love with his best friend, who also goes on lots of dates and never stays single, ever, and I think that mentality could definitely be applied to Gojo in this fic. I can go more in detail if people would be interested, but I think that could assuage some people’s doubts, if they think that just because he sees other women, it means he can’t also be pining away hardcore.

And then also what you mean about your ‘NSFW-related’ question (also, I’m an adult! I appreciate the care, but I’m chill and good with ff-related NSFW content and questions). I think if, pre-2011, Gojo had any thought that Hebi liked him back, he would be confessing and asking her about it asap. He’s not the type of person to let things go stagnant without acting on it; she’s much more of a passive character than he is, I’ve always thought. And yeah, I think that post-first feelings realisation, and definitely post-second, he would have thought about her the exact same way she thinks about him. Hebi’s relationship with sex is pretty awful up to this point (as you’ve said, with her apathy and disconnection towards her life, esp. towards the end of the latest chapter), and it’s something I’m going to give due attention to when it’s needed, and Gojo’s doesn’t have her same issues with physical intimacy, so it’d be certainly different; but I can see him seeking out sex as a substitute for the intimacy he’d be wanting and lacking with her.

This is a big fuckoff paragraph and I’m sorry if you were expecting something more concise! Unfortunately I am a narcissist at heart and so will always rant on about my own fics whenever I’m given the opportunity to, lol. Thank you for the ask, and I’m glad you’ve been enjoying IW!!

#intrinsic warmth #yes I’m a woman in STEM but I did eng lit a level and I’m not letting you guys forget it

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butididnottried · 10 months

Text

Of Billy antis and, apparantely, their, i guess, apprecation for Neil, more or less <3

Am gonna be “whiny” because why not Neil, whyyy never Neeeil, it’s fucking never fucking Neil, FUCK. HIM. All of my homies hate Neil.

So, this post, this fucking post, that was made, like, two days ago? Because of reason this one specific post snapped something in my brain. I don’t even know why, it’s typical anti post, with typical “oh how irremediable monster Billy is” arguments. Nothing new. Ok, the new thing is that op removed this post and apologized. Like, that’s nice and all, but also ??? People usually don’t behave like that, good for you op for handling that properly and nicely.

(I already wrote some of this post and it’s longer than i expected, so, under the cut ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )

Funny thing is, that i started following fandom some time after season 4, because of how steddie flooded everything, and it was really nice, seriously, jut a bunch of fans cooing over their new blorbo. In a few weeks i learned very much about ST and it’s characters only from fandom (not valid very bad way of doing that, misinformation and bad takes and interpretations up to the roof xD), but from perspective of time i can recognize how weirdly selective that knowledge was, because, holy shit, from what i saw while there was no hate towards Billy, his existence was fully ignored. It took me over a month of reading fanfics before i came up to one with Billy in it (evil, very evil, because steddie need to happen somehow), and despite reading many fics with Max in them, i had absolutely no idea who the guy was. Like, the heck? Just some background bully character? With absolutely no connections to this disabled, kinda bitchy poor girl? Or fully abled, happy and with no worries bitchy girl. Depressed in canon? No sir, we don’t know her. Just superior characterization. :/

I don’t remember how i stumble to the Billy side of fandom, but wow, that was fast. While steddie side was - still then - nice nad fluffy and mostly with no real worries, Billy stans had the real, fat meat with thick gravy, and guys, my dudes, the most smartest girlies, you we’re and still are, taking this apart - child and domestic abuse, homophobia, racism, classism, repression, masculinity, objectification, parentification, disability, mental illnesess, ableism, prejudicions, writing of the show, themes, cinematography, all that stuff, just, mmm, delicioso *chefs kiss* And this is also how i learned about Billys antis, i saw how they behave and talk, how hateful they are and how steddies grew just to be most awful, sadly making ST fandom almost as bad as Star Wars fandom, if not at the same level. But. But i’m not active in the fandom, i’m one of these fans that are just stalking, watching, reading, reblogging. No, i never had to handle antis myself. (Like, it’s my third post about ST and in previous two i was just making fun of it xD) And yet i know how many, many of them are full of hate, almost deliberate ignorance and just horrible views. Listen, if somebody is harshly and negatively criticising the supernatural/fantasy side of a show, ok, we can talk and exchange opinions, because these parts of plot are not real, usually have no equivalent in real world, even if they can be metaphors for real problems, most times we don’t need to be so serious about these. But if someone says that abused character that is not, how to put it, not behaving nice about their abuse, deserve only to suffer and die, then big yikes on a red flag, because for 99,9% that’s also their opinion on real people. And like, i never was abused. My dad, while more or less neglectful, was against hitting kids, and in school, while bullied, i never was beaten up or in a real fight (but, yo, my good people, it was because i was radioactive back then so no close contact, why not), and still, i can have empathy, sympathy and fucking compassion for Billy. Just like i had it in elementary school after learning that one of my bullies was beating by his parents. We didn’t become friends or anything like that, but. It’s not that hard, to have some basic understanding.

Sooo, it feels like this is kinda too long already and not very necessary, but i just wanted you to know my, eeeh... where do i stand in fandom, my position towards it? Because it’s different, how i’m just silently hoovering above, and how you all are in this all, dealing with antis even for years, since season 2, and most probably many of you already had conversations about this, but in this almost a year i’m here i didn’t saw mentions of that thing. Maybe it was just talked to death and left behind. Because, honestly, i’m not a smart person, kinda of a dumbass even, and in no way i’m first to notice that. That thing, with antis, that i started this post with. Get back to the ponit, which is...

FUCKING NEIL.

Those two lines in post i mentioned, about “Runaway Max”.

“anyway, the amount of pure hatred i feel for billy hargrove just keeps intensifying with every chapter i read.“

“according to max, him and neil “have a lot of opinions about anyone who isn’t white and Lutheran and a man (128).“

Pure hatred for Billy. But Billy and Neil. Billy AND Neil. Are having these same bigotes views. With emphasis on “these same bigotes views”, because of course, yeah, sure, why not. But there’s no hatred for Neil. Only Billy. Neil is almost non-existent. He’s noticed only when it need to be made very crystal clear that abuse that Billy is going through is absolutely not an excuse for his actions, nuh uh, no sir, there’s a checkmark on this and that’s all, no need to say more abou that one particular man. He is schrodinger abuser - has everything to do with Billys behaviour and absolutely nothing at all. Seriously, Neil is talked about only on Billys side of fandom.

It’s fucking never “during season 2 Billy was just the worst, so violent and agressive, he was a bigot, a sexist, so SOOO so racist, a murderer and rapist and facist and nazi and he was speeding and smoking, drinking alcohol, having sex and throwing slurs left and right all the time, and he was abusing Max literally all the time and was controlling her every move just because he was an asshole and a bitch and dick and, oh the HORRORS, he was pursuing married, middle-aged woman that just simply could not say ‘no’ and cut that teenange bullshit behavior, becuase she’s a delicate and weak woman with no free wil and he’s an toxic man so she needs to do whatever he wants, i’m gonna faint any moment because of how vile and irremediable villain he is. Oh what’s that. His father is the same? Neil is using slurs? Violent towrads his own son? He’s the one making Billy hoovering over Max like a hawk? Is Neil treating Max like that? Is Max safe in her own home? What abou Susan? Oh, oh, Jail for Neil! Jail for Neil for one thousand years! And Billy too, because i hate them BOTH. They’re togehter just the worst. And in season 4, when Max admits that she’s happy that Billy died, and it’s truth and only truth and nothing more and less that just the truthies truth, and she says in her letter that Neil left? Oh, how relieveing that this monster is gone. Maybe Max and her mom are poorer right now and are living in a trailer, but at least they’re finally free of abuse, violence and bigotry.

Ah, no, sorry, it’s actually only about Billy. They just do not hate Neil. Why? Like, i know why, but WHY? I did not read “Runaway Max”, but i know that there’s a few pages long (good fucking god) of very depictive descrpition of how Neil beat the shit out of Billy. Seriously. Not only to the blood, but enough tto Billy having problems with event standing up from the floor. But his grown man hurting and teenanger is not that bad really, only kinda bad, not as much as his victim, we don’t need to focus on mr. Hargrove too much because his role in Max life is apparently not big enough to be in any way important. But i know that from Billy side of fandom, while antis are without any break relieving over and over how Billy cast dead cat on fire (not gonna lie, i personally also would not like that). But also it looks like this book is written in a way that makes Max an very reliabe narrator, that always says the most unbiased and objective truth. Well, at least antis are believing her every word. And yea, books shouldn’t at every step reminding reader that, hey, do not believe that person every word, they’re fucking kid and know almost nothing of world, but - and, eh, i don’t want it to sound like i’m throwing accusation at this book author, i don’t know this person and this is just how it looks from the outside, from opinions and quotes that i saw on both sides. But, it unfortunately looks like this author is more or less Billy anti themself, like they’re sharing and endorsing these same views at abuse. Maybe they don’t care, maybe before writing this book they watched the show once and had very shallow outcomes from it, maybe they weren’t digging deeper into that and wanted just get some fat check for writing a book for a popular franchise. Honestly, valid. But why then be so cruel and careless towards depictions of abuse? Just for shock value? Like Duffers? I guess :/

Anyway, antis. So fucking adamant of how they hate abuse, how it’s bad, how they are so good and right and caring, but the real abuser it out of their picture. It almost looks like they have nothing against him. Oh, Neil is calling Billy slurs, slapping him and humiliating? He can have that, be a violent homophobe as a treat, because i also hate Billy, so Neil is my kind of guy. But also Billy deserve to be called slurs and beaten up, so. Are they the same type of person? Antis and Neil? That’s why they don’t talk about him? Because they’re aware thay they would sound very similar to him? (i coneccted the dots lol) Neil with no doubt is a bigot. And many Billy antis are racist and ableist towards his fans. Victimblaming Billy for what’s happening to him. I’m sooo veRY PREtty sure that Neil do not want to do these things to Billy, but this boy just don’t know how to behave properly, like a real man, with respect and all that other bullshit, yadda yadda.

Maybe instead of stranger-rants bingo cars about bullshit that anits are repeating about Billy we should have this one shrek meme with Lord Farquaad pointing finger and text “child and domestic abuse apologizer”. Because there’s no middle ground on this topic. If in this situation you’re againts Billy, then you’re on Neils side. You’re against any kind of abuse, or you’re just an asshole that is using poor excuses to doom ceartain people to suffering because you don’t like them or they don’t met your very specific and weird (and more or less unethical) morals. God fucking not bless holy shit kurwa mać ja pierdolę. :/

Or, maybe, you we’re a victim yourself and that’s why you hate Billy. But, listen, if you wen’t through hell because someone was hurting you, why you think that there are people that deserve the same? When you know how horrible and scary that is? Did you deserved that? No. Then why someone else should be abused? Because they’re reacting bad to what’s happening to them? They can’t copy in a healthy way? Hey, hey. You know what, sounds like you also can’t copy healty, if you’re harassing strangers, calling them names and use your own abuse as an excuse for how you behave, while be very, agressively firm about how Billys abuse is not an excuse to be a shitty person. Get off internet, get off fandom, really curate your safe space and get away from antis, apply some self care.

#billy hargrove #neil hargrove #runaway max #stranger things #billys antis #child abuse #fandom wank #it took me fours to write that #what the fuck #i should be sleeping #asdfghjkl #gotta take doggo on a walk instead

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daydreamgoddess14 · 11 months

Text

Coming Clean

MASTERLIST

Roy had outdone himself at the press conference. Rebecca couldn’t have been more proud. The visit to her office by Colin had only added to the overwhelming feeling of love she felt for her club at that moment. His heartfelt confession had put so much context around Isaac’s outburst. She had assured Colin, just as Ted had, that the club would love him, support him, and protect him for as long as he wanted and needed, in all the ways he needed them to.

“We do care, Colin. We care so very, very much. We are your family, and we will always love you.” The combination of the win, Colin coming out and Roy’s story at the press conference had left everyone highly emotional, so it was no surprise that both Colin and Rebecca were in tears when he’d left her office after a warm hug. He’d gone back down to the locker room where the rest of the team had asked how it had gone upstairs.

“I tell you what, boys, before Coach arrived, I would have sooner taken out a full page advert in the bloody newspaper telling everyone in Richmond, than gone upstairs to tell the boss. But she’s changed so much for the better… It was honestly like telling my mam all over again. She said she’d already had an inkling, she made some roundabout comments like Coach did - weirdly similar actually - and we cried and hugged. It was like deja vu.” Colin’s comments drifted through the open office door to Ted, Roy, Trent and Beard.

“Nice one blondie.” Roy nodded. “They’ll all be calling her Mother fucking Superior at this rate.”

“Well she certainly has that firm but soft approach goin’ on right now.” Ted agreed.

“She gave me a little rainbow-love heart-unicorn book for my girl earlier. Said she’d just seen it at the checkout and grabbed it without thinking. And sweets as well. I mean, it’s the campest thing I’ve ever seen but that’s like the venn diagram of a four year old to be honest.” Trent shrugged.

“I’m sure I heard Will refer to her as ‘Mother’ the other day.” Beard added.

“I can’t believe she fucking cried.” Roy rolled his eyes.

Rebecca paced up and down in her office, her high heels long abandoned. The emotions had her restless and it felt like there was so much she hadn’t spoken about over the last few weeks and months. Keeley lay on the sofa with her feet up on the armrest, a glass of wine hanging from her fingertips.

“He was magnificent.” She breathed. “Are you ok? Sit down, you’re gonna wear a hole in that carpet.”

“I was worried that I’d pushed him into it.”

“Well, you did babes, but it all worked out.” Rebecca ‘hhmphed’ and slumped into the sofa next to Keeley.

“That story he told… Keels, there’s something I haven’t told you, but it’s a long, long story and I feel now like I don’t know where to start. So much time has passed and so much has happened recently. I feel out of sorts” Her voice dropped to a whisper, “I’ve been seeing a therapist.” Keeley sat up immediately and swung her legs around to the ground, keeping the glass upright and all the contents safe. “I needed to organise everything in my brain and separate the things I can control from the things I can’t and I needed to just spill everything to someone completely impartial.” Keeley nodded and reached for the bottle, adding to Rebecca’s glass. Before Keeley could speak, there was a gentle knock at the door before Ted peered around.

“Hey ladies, great afternoon!”

“It was ace Ted - nice one!” Keeley raised her glass with a huge smile.

“The best kind Ted, well done.”

“Ahh ain’t nothing. It was a group effort. Thank you for taking some time with our Colin too, he’s lookin’ like a new man down there.”

“I didn’t do anything, I only told him the truth.”

“Well, there’s a lotta love for the club’s Mamma Bear in that locker room, and they ain’t talkin’ ‘bout Beardo. Despite, y’know, the beard.” Rebecca blushed,

“God Ted, I hope they’re not actually calling me that.”

“To be honest, I believe they’ve picked up the most commonly used term - uhh, I think Keeley had a hand in it? Boss ass bitch?” Keeley beamed while Rebecca conceded that yes, that was probably more acceptable. “Regardless, as per usual there’s more love for you than you’d let yourself expect. Anyway, just wanted to check in and see if you needed anything. Otherwise I’ve got a rock ‘n’ roll night of Roblox ahead of me.”

“No Ted, we’re fine thanks. You go and enjoy your time with Henry. Send him our love as usual.” Ted smiled graciously and high-fived the tree before closing the door firmly behind him. Rebecca watched the door for a long moment and then returned her attention to Keeley, and her wine glass.

“More love for you than you’d let yourself expect, eh? Well, well, well, isn’t that interesting?” Keeley pondered with her perfectly manicured fingers tapping her chin. “Anyway, something tells me we’ll end up coming back to that. Let’s go, I want to know everything I’ve missed while I was being love-bombed.”

“I should have told you when we went for dinner, but I didn’t want it to overshadow our lovely evening. I’ll start at the beginning…” so she did, Rebecca started with Tish and her unhinged physic reading,

“A green matchbook, drenched but safe, thunder and lightning…Has anything come up that matches what she said?”

“Well I got drenched in Amsterdam, but I was safe? And I got a green matchbook from Sam’s restaurant?” Keeley nodded,

“Both true, but neither of those are your future, right?”

“No, absolutely not, the Dutch bloke was a one off and nothing happened, and it’s over with Sam.”

“Thunder and lightning?”

“Nothing so far.”

“Ok, well maybe they’re yet to appear? What was next?” Rebecca took a deep breath and an even deeper drink.

“She said I’d be a mother.” Keeley’s jaw dropped.

“That’s incredible!”

“Yes, it bloody would be! Because of her, I went to a doctor who took some bloods and ran some tests. I can’t have children Keeley. I knew it would be the case, but it’s confirmed now - I’m not going to be a mother and that bloody… fraud made me think for one second that it might actually be possible.”

“Oh, Rebecca-”

“I’m alright, I found out a while ago now. I’ve had time to… process it.”

“Doesn’t make hearing it any easier.”

“No, no it doesn’t.”

“But she didn’t say ‘pregnant’, she said ‘mother’. As in, Mamma Bear?” Keeley pointed to the floor, to the locker room below them.

“Nooo. Surely not?”

“You can’t deny this whole family vibe we’ve got going on here babe? You and Ted might as well be mum and dad, Roy and Beardo are the unconventional uncles.”

“And you?”

“Babysitter!” Keeley sniggered. “Inappropriate relationships with an older family member - Roy, sorting their shit out, making sure they do as they’re told when mum and dad aren’t around.” Rebecca frowned, it wasn’t completely implausible. “Speaking of, you and Ted are looking close.”

“No closer than we’ve been in the past.” Keeley pursed her lips,

“Hmm. If you say so.”

“I wonder that he’s still so hung up on Michelle.” Rebecca said with a frown, “When he thought she might be getting engaged…”

“Maybe he’s more worried about being left behind? She’s moving on but he’s not ready to - not because he doesn’t want to, but because he’s not sure what else there is for him? If it helps, I don’t think he’s still in love with her.”

“Why would that help, what’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing, nevermind.” Keeley knew better than to push. She was far more effective when leaving little earworms behind that would linger in Rebecca’s thoughts. “And what about you?”

“What about me?”

“Are you ready for lurrrve? It’s been a long time since boring John, since Sam. Are you ready to dip your toe?”

“Shouldn't we be focusing on you?”

“Nope, I’m licking my wounds.”

“And Roy?”

“I love him. So much, Rebecca, so much. But he’s really hurt me.” They sipped their wine in silence for a while. “The state of us. I should just shack up with you, you beautiful fucking goddess.”

“I’m sure that’ll raise a few questions around here.”

“Nahh, think of the PR. We could be the queerest club in the league and change the world of football as we know it.”

“Now that’s a statement. I think Colin is quite happy with his best friends knowing. Let’s not turn him into some sort of gay icon if that’s not what he wants. Not everyone wants to be a symbol.” They finished off the wine and left the club, Rebecca’s driver taking Keeley home first.

—--------------

Once she’d settled into her kitchen, Rebecca pulled out her phone to text Ted.

I hope Henry’s picked a good game on Roblox for you. I’ve sent some credits to his account. I think we handled the Colin, Roy and match situations beautifully today. Thank you for all you do 💜

She’d barely scrolled through Netflix when his reply dinged.

Well that’s very kind of you, he said thank you very much 🤩 We’re a team, Boss. We handle all of our situations as a team.

Rebecca smiled and selected a cheesy romcom. It would have been nice to share the evening with someone. Maybe they’d be cooking and she’d be pouring the drinks. Or she’d be attempting to cook and they’d be choosing a film or distracting her. It would be nice. To share that space with someone. Preparing food while Henry is on the phone in the background, making plans for his next visit to the UK while Ted makes cocktails using the fancy shaker Keeley had brought for Rebecca’s birthday. She froze with a frown, where had that visual come from?! She sighed and turned her attention back to the film, Ryan Reynolds was currently chasing down Sandra Bullock to marry her and stop her from getting deported in The Proposal. To have a love to run to, not from, she thought sadly. That would be something.

The following morning was glorious, the sun shone and it was warm. Rebecca made the uncharacteristic decision to walk round to Nelson Road. She dug out her trainers, swapped her handbag for a backpack style bag - still designer though, obviously - and put her tea in a Richmond AFC emblazoned travel cup. As she walked along the outskirts of the green, she was lost in thought wondering whether Roy had taken onboard her constructive criticism. She’d wanted to thank him after the press conference but her heart had grown to fill her throat and had taken her words away. She’d known after everything he’d said that she would have cried in front of him, and she knew how Roy felt about feelings. She hoped that he’d go and speak to Keeley, they were so clearly still drawn together and still very much in love, and maybe seeing them back together and happy would fill the space she had in her heart. By the time she reached the club, she was all geared up and ready to push him further. She stopped off at her office to put her bag and cup down, and immediately turned on her heels to head back down to the coaches office.

If there was one person he listened to - whether he truly wanted to or not - it was Rebecca. He’d respected her during her marriage to Rupert when it was more unusual to see her around, he respected her more following the split and divorce, he respected that she valued his opinion and honesty when he’d told her that she deserved to feel like she’d been struck by lightning. It was obvious, Roy Kent had a soft spot for Rebecca Welton and he didn’t really care who knew it. Which was why he knew full well that she was perfectly right when she’d given him shit about doing the press conference, and that she’d been digging at more than the press conference. He’d been feeling the pull back to Keeley since her video had hit the internet. He wanted to be the one she turned to, the one who could comfort her and tell her that it really didn’t matter what anyone else thought. If she’d sent that video to someone she’d loved at the time then it was within her rights to do so without fear of shame. He certainly hadn’t meant to shame her, he’d had a feeling that the video had been for Jamie. The way she had her hair, its length and highlights indicated a time before him, and he was perfectly fine with that. He wasn’t even sure why the question had tumbled out of his treacherous brain. He also didn’t blame Jamie, their 4am training session the following day had shown just how terrible he’d felt that he hadn’t thoroughly deleted his emails. Poor Jamie had been beside himself with guilt until Roy had suggested that he go and see Keeley to apologise in person, knowing that he’d be forgiven, and he was. The next 4am training session was a much happier one, with Jamie relieved that Keeley had accepted his apology. So although he could encourage Jamie to apologise, could tell Rebecca she deserved better, could offer snippets of advice to Ted (but not as a fucking diamond dog), he couldn’t seem to take the advice given to him. He hated admitting she was right, especially when it’s not like she was taking her own advice! He could see the way she’d softened around Ted. He could see the way she lit up in his presence, he’d heard enough from Keeley before their split about how he was all she seemed to talk about. He’d been at Nelson Road since leaving Jamie at 6am, alone with his thoughts in the near silent club. It was high time Blondie had another ‘lightning’ speech, he’d decided. While the building began to fill with people, he paced up and down the locker room. Half a mind on Keeley, half on Rebecca. By 8.30am he could take no more and burst through the door, aiming for the stairs. He reached the water cooler just as Rebecca reached the bottom of the stairs.

“Oi, blondie!”

“Oi, Kent!” They shouted in perfect unison. The combined volume caused all eyes in the vicinity to look at them.

Leslie and Keeley were at one end of the corridor, comparing calendars to try and schedule a meeting. Beard and Ted were at the other end, coffees in hand. Will was halfway out of the boot room and tried to step back into the room but got caught on the door handle. Jamie, Isaac and Moe all peered around the door of the locker room having seen Roy storm out moments before.

“What the fuck are you playing at?” Rebecca bellowed.

“Me? What the fuck are you playing at?”

“I have no idea what you’re on about. Why haven’t you apologised to Keeley yet? I thought you’d absorbed what I said into your thick skull, but it looks like your brain has been so scrambled by heading that fucking football for the last 20 years that you’ve lost the capacity to think!”

“I did fucking listen to you, why don’t you listen to yourself for a change? ‘Oooh, Roy, stop getting in your own way, blah blah blah’ get out of your own way! Listen to your own shite advice!”

“You haven't listened to me! You never listen to me! If you had, you’d have spoken to Keeley and you’d be back together by now - that’s what you want isn’t it?”

“Course it fucking is, and I will fucking talk to her! We’re not talking about me, we’re talking about you!”

“How are you making this about me? What the fuck has this got to do with me?”

“You and your bloody big feelings for Ted! We’re not blind you know! Everyone can see you’re in love with him!”

In an instant, you could hear a pin drop. Everyone seemed to shrink back into the walls and doorways. Rebecca’s knuckles on the handrail went white.

“How dare you. Too. Fucking. Far. Kent.” She hissed at a normal volume. The silence carried her response down the corridor. She gave his shoulder a push and turned away, back up the stairs. A moment later, her office door slammed.

“Fuuuuuck.” Roy muttered to himself. He glanced around at the audience which had gathered, eyes widening at the sight of Ted. "Fuck off, all of you before I start punching dicks." He growled before following her. In the hallway, Leslie cleared his throat and the crowd dispersed. Isaac pulled Jamie and Moe back into the locker room, Will untangled himself and went back into the boot room, Beard took Ted's shaking coffee cup from his hand and Keeley sat down on the sofa she and Leslie had been standing next to. After a moment, normal service seemed to resume and the corridor was once again filled with the chatter of ‘good mornings’ and ‘hellos’. Leslie gently patted Keeley’s arm and headed for his office, Beard physically pushed Ted in the direction of the locker room.

At the top of the stairs, Roy stopped and took a breath before knocking gently. As expected, Rebecca didn’t answer. He pushed the door open and found her sat on the sofa with her head in her hands.

“Rebecca?” he whispered, “I am so fucking sorry.” He dropped onto the coffee table which groaned a little under his weight. Rebecca took a deep breath and moved her hands. She offered him a small, watery smile and shrugged.

"It was bound to come out eventually. I'd have preferred a less… public declaration. And I'd have preferred to have had the conversation with Ted. At least he wasn't there. I'll just have to come clean before everyone starts gossiping."

"Yeah… about that…"

"No?" Her face fell.

"I'm so sorry, Rebecca. I'll go and tell him it was all me being a dickhead and that I made it all up."

"He won't believe you."

"I'll make him fucking believe me." Roy clenched his fists but Rebecca covered them with her own hands and shook her head.

"No you won't. Time for me to face the music. But the least you can do - the absolute least you can do - is talk to Keeley. I also spoke out of turn downstairs, she'll be expecting you."

"Yeah she will, but let's be honest, she's probably been expecting me for weeks." Rebecca nodded in confirmation.

"She has been. I'm surprised she hasn't collared you herself."

"Shall I… send him up?" A light knock interrupted them, and Ted peered around the half open door. "And on that note." Roy rose from the coffee table, kissing her on the cheek as he stood. He clapped Ted on the shoulder and pulled the office door closed behind him.

He stood completely still and completely silently, watching her. Noting the trainers on her feet.

"Did you walk to work today, boss?"

"Yes, I did. Seemed like a nice morning for it. In hindsight it just gave me time to get wound up at Roy which didn't work out as I'd expected it to."

"I like your sneakers. I like how you can't wait for your biscuits delivery. I like how you care so much about everyone. Keeley and Roy, Higgy, my Henry… I… I love how forthright and stubborn you are." He continued, still looking at her trainers, following them with his eyes as Rebecca had joined him in the centre of the room. "I love you." He finally lifted his eyes to meet hers, taking a hand and brushing the tears from her cheeks. "Is it true? Is Roy right?" He asked, barely above a whisper. She nodded, unable to speak. "I'd really like to kiss you, Becca." She nodded again, taking his hand in hers and pulling him closer. As he closed the space between them, she caught her breath just enough,

"I love you too, Ted."

—------------

#ted lasso #tedbecca #ted and rebecca #tedlassoedit #ted lasso tv #rebecca x ted #ted lasso fic #ted lasso fanfiction

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darkenforcer · 1 year

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8 and 13!

canon questionnaire || accepting !

8. What’s the worst thing about the canon you are writing?

that's a tough one since i'm not too nitpicky or critical unless i'm forced to be, actually (despite my degree literally being in communication studies but SHHH)!! i guess in terms of the game's story, the last act does seem... weirdly rushed compared to the other acts? acts 1 and 2 are AMAZING and i love the "forced road trip where everything goes Wrong" thing going on for most of it, but then the 3rd act becomes very "ok guys let's go to point A, now point B, point etc.". i guess the sidequests and extra dungeons make it less obvious, especially in ng+, but it's still noticeable.

this is just me being silly, but i'll never get over how they mention flynn was absolutely losing it over yuri's disappearance at the end of act 2 and then when they reunite it's like . never talked about by anyone??? njjng it's not even brought up by estelle again or anything. small dropped plot details like that confuse me -- imagine the potential DRAMA!!!

OH, also considering it's a game that focuses a lot on corruption and political bs, i think it would've been nice to see more commentary on stuff like that from a systemic POV instead of placing most of it on specific individuals! but the hints are there, so i guess i can't complain too much lol.

13. Are there any other characters from the franchise you’d like to play?

YES OMG!!! not really any other characters from vesperia, but definitely characters from other tales games. i have, like, a list i've been keeping track of in my brain for years:

pascal from graces (she'd be my #1 choice <3) or richard, mayhaps

leia from xillia (fun fact: i rp'd milla for like 2 weeks back in middle school)

sorey from zestiria

genis from symphonia (but i'd have to finish the duology first...)

i also haven't gotten more than ~3 hours into abyss because i lost all my data from the totally legal method i was using to do so, but i think i'd wanna play guy !!!

#ooc #meme friday #i am almost Always rotating tales of muses in my mind i swear #the list would be way longer if i included those i even briefly considered playing at some point

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purplecraze · 1 year

Text

Beauty and the Beast AU 17

orange-plane-boy — 09/04/2021 5:31 PM

He finished to eat his portion and looked at the starts again

"Also soon we will find a cure, so dont worry too much"

purplecraze — 09/04/2021 5:35 PM

"......if you say so..." he sighed deep and closed his eyes.

orange-plane-boy — 09/04/2021 5:36 PM

"Sleepy?" He asked before yawning

purplecraze — 09/04/2021 5:37 PM

he nodded, not replying.

orange-plane-boy — 09/04/2021 5:39 PM

"We could sleep here, its warm and nice..." He yawned again and piled up his jacket and coat, making a pillow with those and laying his head down.

purplecraze — 09/04/2021 5:40 PM

there came no further answer from him.

orange-plane-boy — 09/04/2021 5:41 PM

"....Good Night Fugo, love you" he smiled and curled up

As the other was asleep, Nara looked at him, despite everything he was really pretty...

He glanced at him for a bit, getting a bit closer.

Narancia looked at the other's lips, cheeks, nose and forehead, and not even noticing he moved his hand, fixing a hair lock that was covering the other's eye, his finger slighty touching the other's forehead

purplecraze — 09/04/2021 5:49 PM

his hand felt slightly tingly on contact, but.... nothing happened.

orange-plane-boy — 09/04/2021 5:52 PM

Nara ritired his hand as soon he realized what happend, and yet his hand was ok.

"...."

Maybe between the full moon and the dome-

He got a bit bloder, gently tracing his finger on the other's cheek, his skin was suprising soft, Nara had to fight the istinct to pinch it

purplecraze — 09/04/2021 5:54 PM

it felt similar to touching an electric fence, but his hand was undeniably fine.

"h..." fugo frowned a bit on the unused contact.

orange-plane-boy — 09/04/2021 5:57 PM

Something Narancia could handle for a bit.

"Nh..."

He wondered...Ok probabily it was the dumbest idea he had that week but-

"Good Night Fugo"

He leaned on, giving him a quick peck on his lips, before his cheeks flushed and the ran back to his spot, curling up and facing the wall.

Of course it wasnt some fairytale where the true love kiss fixes everything

purplecraze — 09/04/2021 5:59 PM

"!!!" Fugo's eyes opened and he shot straight up.

Did he know how he was touched? no. Did he know the other tried to touch him? Definitely;;;;

"What do you think you were doing??!?!!"

orange-plane-boy — 09/04/2021 6:01 PM

"Y-Youhadsomethingonyourface" he said, still hiding his face with his hands

purplecraze — 09/04/2021 6:01 PM

"YOU IDIOT!! It could have KILLED you!!"

orange-plane-boy — 09/04/2021 6:03 PM

"Well it did not!" He yelled back, more flustred than angry

purplecraze — 09/04/2021 6:04 PM

"You're alright??! you're not hurt!??? you didn't accidentally touch me???" he was more panicked than angry too.

orange-plane-boy — 09/04/2021 6:07 PM

"Im fine!" He squeaked "and sorry- i didnt on purpose, you looked so paceful sleeping but you had some hair in your eyes and it was bothering you and i just wanted to move it and i didnt thinked about it and then it didnt hurted so i poked your cheek and it wad like when you wear a wool sweater and your hair get all frizzy but didnt hurted and sorry for kissing you!!" He said rushing and taking a breath just at the end, face all red

purplecraze — 09/04/2021 6:08 PM

"................." Fugo froze over, wide eyed.

orange-plane-boy — 09/04/2021 6:09 PM

"I-Im gonna go back to my room!" He squeaked taking his stuff

purplecraze — 09/04/2021 6:09 PM

"..........you....touched me.."

orange-plane-boy — 09/04/2021 6:39 PM

"Im sorry!" He said again trying to get the jacket from the ground, but he was weirdly slippery. Or maybe his hand was just shaking

purplecraze — 09/04/2021 6:40 PM

"........." the boy was in an absolute daze. seems he's not very concerned about the kissing matter... "....y.....you're sure??"

orange-plane-boy — 09/04/2021 6:41 PM

"Yeah- i-i mean it was an accident, but when i noticed it only barelly stinged i tried to touch your cheek"

purplecraze — 09/04/2021 6:59 PM

".....I-...y-you're-.....really?' he looked like he could break any moment.

orange-plane-boy — 09/04/2021 7:01 PM

Narancia nodded

"I-Im sorry really- you looked so paceful in your sleep and didnt even consider the curse"

Nara sounded more like a puppy caught doind something he shouldnt have

purplecraze — 09/04/2021 7:03 PM

Fugo looked down to his hands, muttering to himself: "ᶦˢ ᵗʰᶦˢ ᵃ ᵈʳᵉᵃᵐˀ ᵃᵐ ᴵ ᵈʳᵉᵃᵐᶦⁿᵍˀ ᶦᵗ ᶜᵃⁿ'ᵗ ᵇᵉ..."

orange-plane-boy — 09/04/2021 7:05 PM

"Fugo-- ugh, lets take both a breath- maybe between the dome and the full moon we kinda found a loop hole"

purplecraze — 09/04/2021 7:05 PM

he nodded a bit, not entirely knowing to what. he looked up to the other. "w...what should I do..?"

orange-plane-boy — 09/04/2021 7:06 PM

"W-Well, dunno...w-wanna try hold hands?" He asked awkardly

purplecraze — 09/04/2021 7:07 PM

"....." the boy gasped for air, fighting an internal struggle of rushing over to the other or backing away, because this CAN'T be true.

orange-plane-boy — 09/04/2021 7:09 PM

At the same time, nara didnt really knew if he should get closer or leave him his space but...

"Look, my hand its ok, even the rash from when i picked you up the other day its gone, its ok- w-we dont have to its you arent ready"

purplecraze — 09/04/2021 7:14 PM

"b...but I.....how?...d-did the curse break?"

orange-plane-boy — 09/04/2021 7:24 PM

"I not sure- i did felt some tingy when i touched you, and i dont know if we will be able to touch eachother outside the dome, or when the moon is not full..." he sighed "so i guess, we have till morning to see"

purplecraze — 09/04/2021 7:26 PM

He nodded a bit, shyly eyeing the other, not daring to ask for it, it's just too dangerous...

orange-plane-boy — 09/04/2021 7:27 PM

He scooted a bit closer

"W-Well, your choice, but we will have till next full moon to try again" he said gently reaching out his hand

purplecraze — 09/04/2021 7:29 PM

He swallowed, inching his quivering hand closer. "I don't want to lose you..." he admitted in a shrill voice.

orange-plane-boy — 09/04/2021 7:30 PM

"You will not, i promise" he said giving him a smile

purplecraze — 09/04/2021 7:34 PM

"......" he didn't look at the other, fixed on their hands. he could almost feel the heat of the other's skin as his nails ghosted against narancia's finger.

orange-plane-boy — 09/04/2021 7:35 PM

He let Fugo take his time, as much his own fingers itched to touch and grab as much the other

"Its ok Fugo"

purplecraze — 09/04/2021 7:37 PM

since his hand was shaking so much, it accidentally brushed against the other. he gasped, retreating his fingers quickly to his own handpalm.

orange-plane-boy — 09/04/2021 7:38 PM

"Look, my hand its fine~" and waved it

"Wanna try again?"

purplecraze — 09/04/2021 7:43 PM

He swallowed and grit his teeth, inching his hand closer once more.

orange-plane-boy — 09/04/2021 7:44 PM

Narancia brushed his fingers to Fugo's

He was trying to be patient for the blonde, but he was as much excited

purplecraze — 09/04/2021 7:49 PM

Fugo's hand froze in mid-air as he felt Narancia's fingers on his, producing an involuntary pitched whimper.

orange-plane-boy — 09/04/2021 7:52 PM

"Ehy, its ok, im still here, not gonna go away" and slowly held his hand, tangling their fingers together

"Here, we did it!"

purplecraze — 09/04/2021 7:59 PM

holding his hand felt like a combination of glass shards and hot coals. but his skin was doing just fine.

Fugo hiccuped, succumbing to the pressure and tears started to drip down.

orange-plane-boy — 09/04/2021 8:02 PM

"Ehy, ehy Fugo its ok-"

He wispered sofly, moving from his right to in front of him, still holding the hand.

Narancias heart was beating like crazy in his chest, so he colunt even immagine how Fugo was feeling

"...Can i?" He asked raising his free hand to the other's face

purplecraze — 09/04/2021 8:13 PM

Fugo was nothing short of overwhelmed, the tears wouldn't stop. He couldn't think straight anymore, he just wanted to hold this hand forever. if this was a dream, he didn't want to wake up. if it would cost Narancia's life, he'd die with him!

He nodded eagerly between the tears.

orange-plane-boy — 09/04/2021 8:18 PM

As soon the other nodded, Nara cupped his cheek, like he felt before, his skin was really soft, a bit dry, but he kinda get that the other negliget himself before.

He tried to dry the tears with his thumb, rubbing it under the corner of his eye

"Shhhh, everything its ok"

As much he wanted to pull him into a hug, he was feeling like someone trying to cuddle a puppy that was kicked too much and now was scared of being touched

purplecraze — 09/04/2021 8:36 PM

also, it felt undeniably painful, the more Narancia touched him, despite it not showing on his skin at all. just what would he feel if he'd put his body in full contact?

"a-..are you alright?" he muttered between sobs, clenching his fingers tightly and greedily around the other's. "Tell me the truth. you really don't feel anything??"

orange-plane-boy — 09/04/2021 8:38 PM

"Told you, it sting a bit at first, but nothing i cant handle" He smiled, still caressing his face

"You ok? Want to sit down? If its too much we can stop"

purplecraze — 09/04/2021 8:46 PM

"h..hmn...." he wasn't too sure if he could believe that. But Fugo couldn't fight himself feeling selfish. just... just for tonight...

"I must be looking pathetic.... are you-... are you alright with this?"

orange-plane-boy — 09/04/2021 8:48 PM

"I am! Ans you dont pathetic ok?? It must be a lot to take after 3 years! And umh-" he looked away "if you want you can touch me back"

purplecraze — 09/04/2021 8:54 PM

"......" he swallowed, looking straight at the other. "we'll have to let go before sunrise. if it's something you're still feeling, it's certainly an accumulation of magic. It won't be the same outside of the favorable circumstances....

but....but until then..."

He lay his hand on top of the hand on his cheek. "I don't ever want to let you go..."

#purplecraze #orange plane boy #fugo replies #beauty and the beast AU #the part we have been waiting for #spoiler: super intense hand holding

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gobblewonkrs · 1 year

Text

I posted 957 times in 2022

That's 824 more posts than 2021!

52 posts created (5%)

905 posts reblogged (95%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@dentist-brainsurgeon

@cadoized

@monzterzack

@sexygaywizard

@pnkrathian

I tagged 228 of my posts in 2022

#the depository - 42 posts

#my art - 36 posts

#artists on tumblr - 35 posts

#art - 35 posts

#digital art - 29 posts

#dhmis spoilers - 19 posts

#my oc art - 16 posts

#ramblings - 11 posts

#psychonauts 2 - 10 posts

#psychonauts - 8 posts

Longest Tag: 136 characters

#technically dallas just got his name changed back to what it was when he was. a mad//com oc. but everyone else has completely new names.

My Top Posts in 2022:

Psy2versary week: "Exploration" (favorite mental world)

@psy2versary-week

OK SO. Crullers Correspondance.

I understand that this is like. A weirdly specific level to choose BUT it's all because I just. Love how the game goes about showing us everything w/ maligula and Lucy thru the eyes of the others. ESPECIALLY Ford, seeing how. Involved. He is in her story or w/e. Also. The ending of the level is just. It just kills me. Agh. plus. I just. Love the specific vibe of all the Ford levels (if it makes sense, they feel old. In like the best way possible. Like dust and the smell of books.) And crullers correspondence hits that vibe the best. Idk. I'm not good at getting words down in a way that's understandable.

65 notes - Posted August 19, 2022

I had the idea for a bit now but these guys take up permanent space in my brain so I needed to make this....

66 notes - Posted November 5, 2022

Also: a tiny sasha from memory. :)

80 notes - Posted June 26, 2022

Just today realized I haven't drawn the psychic seven despite how much I think abt them. So. I am fixing that :)

See the full post

200 notes - Posted June 26, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I understand he killed lark but listen. I am NOT immune to funny monkey, unfortunately. @saltydkart-reblogs

242 notes - Posted November 28, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #how the fuck did the friend.locke post get to be my number 1 of the fucking year #i posted that like 2 weeks ago???

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an-odd-idea · 5 months

Text

*crashes through the boards* NHK Trophy women’s free skate and final result, holy-

1. Ava Marie Ziegler: Remember when I said someone else might come out of nowhere and win it all? So that happened. I was only generally aware of Ava’s existence and I’m not sure if I’d seen her skate before, but she really had the skate of her life here. Big congrations to her, and her reaction to her score and the way she ran to hug Lindsay after were so wonderful. She was in 5th after the short, I tell you, this discipline isn’t usually the wildly unpredictable one. The women are menning, as they say: reject gender roles!

2. Lindsay Thorngren: That fall made me so scared for her ankle, but I guess it’s okay. She looked super nervous and unsure, probably from the pressure of being accustomed to being 5th or 6th and suddenly being in 1st and skating last and thinking she can maybe win this and maaaybe make the final, idk. i was really hoping for her to win, but silver here is still big. Hopefully she can keep this momentum up, and hopefully US Figure Skating will stop putting all their eggs in one leaning basket

3. Nina Pinzarrone: I don’t know what I was on a few weeks ago, I enjoy her a lot. I especially love the pivot and toe steps at the beginning. Congrats on making the final! Two Belgians at the final was not on my 2023-24 season bingo card

4. Haein Lee: *sighs in 4th place again* The underrotations are still eating her. It’s ok, hopefully she can get it better as the season goes on. The illusion spin exit went well at least!

5. Yuna Aoki: Oh my gosh I love her. She is so lovely and musical and just everything you picture when you hear “figure skating”. I was so relaxed watching her skate, she just seemed so calm and serene, I never worried before any jump at all. And apparently she choreographed her short program herself? God-tier, please can she compete more often?

6. Anastasiia Gubanova: A really beautiful job in the free skate, a shame that the short kind of took her out of the running. The spins are still not leveling

7. Yelim Kim: “Omg Yelim landing a huge, gorgeous triple-triple like seasons of old???!!!” *crashes into the boards* Luckily she’s okay and there’s no deduction for that since she didn’t fall, and the judges couldn’t give her good GOE but also didn’t give too bad since the combination itself was basically successful. Despite that and a fall, this was a lot better than previously, and hopefully she can get things situated for the rest of the season

8. Mai Mihara: All her jumps looked really, really shaky, but she was so lovely all the same, I was kind of on the verge of tearing up, and that spiral was glorious, I will never forgive the cameraman for choosing the worst angle possible. She brought the sunshine to this event

9. Wakaba Higuchi: I can’t believe she went for the triple axel, like wow, but also please be careful. I was also really feeling this program even though it’s Coldplay, and she was landing everything, and I was just so happy. Then she randomly slipped on the the lunge in the choreographic sequence, but that’s okay, she seemed pretty happy and I’m glad she was able to have such a good performance

10. Seoyeong Wi: No more Exogenesis. Please. I’m so tired of Exogenesis please stop. The skate was rough. The commentator was weirdly harsh about her letting her disappointment show after popping a jump for the second time and not really keeping up the performance, and I kinda feel bad

11. Lea Serna: It was rough. I’ve seen her nail this program and it was really great, but this time the jumps were just not going well

12. Lindsay van Zundert: It was really rough, and so was the short. Just not a good competition for her at all, hopefully she’ll do better elsewhere later on

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lightsinthesky · 8 months

Text

Know what I used to do? Hold my deepest, darkest, most intense feelings of pain and discomfort close to the chest. It was a warped intention of noble righteousness to not “burden” my loved ones. And you know what happened? Like an emotional dying star, I would implode.

The immense utility of emotional expression - whether it’s conversation, artistic expression, writing (like this shit), anything, really, is critical to navigating all of our “stuff.” My fundamental inability and unwillingness to simply communicate left me trapped in a place of navigating it all in isolation. My worst thoughts and impulses would override any sense of what might actually serve to be the best course of action and I’d find myself in my little death spiral over and over again.

At the outset of all of this, things were weirdly stable. But now, I’m on a nine week kick of intense emotional fluctuation. And I’m still sober and alive. And you know why that is? Because I lightened the load (among other things, of course. There’s no cure-all solution with this whole thing). There was a triggering experience, yes, but it has cascaded into so much questioning and discomfort and uncertainty that has spilled into everything else regarding who I hold myself to be on a fundamental level. A true tear-down and rebuild. The resulting figure is more or less the same. The same foundational components remain, but they’re shiny and new and infinitely better understood and practiced. And the little cracks and imperfections are continuously being sanded away and filled in. The painful reality is that this whole thing is probably exactly what I needed. If this happened a year ago, I’d be well on my way to a watery, alcoholic grave. But it happened at a time when I was ready and able and willing to face it all.

And, again, a critical component of this lies in my ability to reach out to those I trust and to express myself in healthy ways. It makes me feel “extra” sometimes, but it’s been a core practice on this journey through the fire. From these writings to deep and intense conversations with friends to artistic endeavors to just trying to have fun, I’ve been able to alleviate so much of that tension. And it doesn’t serve as some permanent “fix.” The ebbs and flows, despite only (lol “only”) being over the course of two months-plus have been varied and extreme in certain instances. But in acknowledging, dissecting, maintaining awareness, and not burying it under layers of self-delusion, I’m able to actually work towards addressing it all in a meaningful capacity. Time takes time. And it’s annoying as fuck. But it’s reality.

Shedding skin is annoying too. Growing new skin is exhausting. This whole thing is an endless process. The trick, at this phase, is in having self-awareness and understanding of how to approach it all in a sustainable way. It is inevitable that the intensity of these emotional fluctuations, longing sense of confusion, and need to just be OK will continue to stabilize. In fact, I’m pretty much “there.” Which is why getting caught off guard with a sudden influx of any of it can feel troublesome.

But, again, it’s all part of this endless process. I’ve let go of the notion that I’ll ever just be riding easy and be able to rest on my laurels. There will be easy days at greater frequency, but I’m not willing to take that path at the cost of the necessary growth needed for me to have a fully-rounded sense of self.

As much as I once thought of myself as a lone wolf, a chameleon, an observer on the periphery of “everyone else,” the fact remains that the most valuable things to me in life stem from relationships. Of course, foundationally, it all starts with the relationship to self. But beyond that, because I’m not the last man on earth, it manifests in my relationships with others. Part of the reason this program works so well for people like me is because if I didn’t have that sense of empathy and identification, I’d be so fucked. It can be woefully isolating to experience degrees of suffering that make no sense to you until you experience the company and connection of someone else who’s been there.

And while that initially applied to my alcoholism, it has carried over into so much more. By forging these deep and meaningful connections, I see other people’s experience in the realms of love, purpose, right action, career, everything. And I mean everything.

Emotional pain by its nature creates a sense of isolation. We experience whatever it may be in solitude. But that degree of uniqueness of whatever situation applying to us and us alone does not have to equate to isolation. I find so much solace in other peoples’ history of shared pain with me. And that sounds a little fucked up. But it’s not an appreciation that we’ve had to suffer. The appreciation stems from that experiential evidence that we can endure and overcome. They did, so I can too.

I have no intention of walking alone. Been there, done that. It’s an ouroboros of misery. The snake eating itself. A spiral of despair. A conflation of independence with stubbornness and practiced isolation. A sense that I am “other” or that I exist outside of everything else. Withdrawn and lonely living in a delusion that I have everything I need. And it sucked. I’ve cultivated a lot of inner strength, sure. But at the end of the day, I honestly need the village.

So I’ll end with a thought of gratitude: I am who I am, but I would not be that man without those who have come before me and those who have helped me along the way. I love you all so much and can’t ever meaningfully express the profound importance of you in my life. So I will remain open to experience even more of it, and to one day receive it in the ways most important to me. Until then, I walk along, never truly alone.

youtube

#recovery #Youtube

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wint3r-h3art · 3 years

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hi i hope you're doing good! i couldn't see if the requests are open or not but could you do a part 2 of this? like their date?? thank you so much have a good day!!

Thank you so much for the request! I just have the prompt up, but honestly I take anything. Here is part 2 to Boba Bae

Word count: 1.5K

Pairing: Shang-chi x reader

Summary: Y'all on a date. Y'all are a date. Y'all. Are. On. A. Date

Warnings: None. It's cute. It's awkward. It's fluff

A/N: Thank you so much for your request, dear! I really appreciate it. If you guys wants more, don't hesitate to send me the request. I'm more than happy to write more of Shang-chi. If you want to be on Shang-chi tag list, click here

You likes, comments, and reblog are greatly appreciated 💛

✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮

To say that Shang-chi is not nervous is a lie.

For a man that has been trained to kill his entire life by his father, nothing has prepared him for this--for you.

He’s nervous as hell as you getting off the bus and heading to one of the arcade bars just not too far from the city. What should he do? Should he hold your hand now or should he wait? Hold on, would it be too early to hold your hand?! He clearly doesn’t want to come off as creepy and weird and stalkerish. I mean, he’s already skating on thin ice with your dad when you were out back changing from your work clothes. He knows that look well, the kind of disapproval look that many give him by the work that he does. No respectable parents in San Francisco really want their daughters to really go on a date with him. If only they know who he really is.

You can feel Shaun tense up beside you. You’re unsure of whether it’s because he’s nervous or of whether he’s regretting it. You really don’t want to be the second one. Honestly speaking, you’re so elated that he asked you out because you wouldn’t be able to do it. Everytime you look at him, you get tongue tied.

You both walk weirdly quite close to each other that you can feel your hand slightly brushing against his, yet none of you makes the first move.

Then you can hear the sound of skate board approaching.You’re too slow to react of course. Shang-chi quickly grabs you by the shoulder and quickly pulls you in. You’re now flushed against him. His body warms against yours, making your skin flushes a slight tint of red. Despite the cold September air, you feel your body warming up quickly.

“Sorry,” he mumbles before he gently pulls you away and switches sides with you so that he's walking on the outside. Your shoulder slumps in disappointment at the loss of contact.

“It’s ok.” It’s more than ok, you think to yourself. Yes, it’s more than ok.

When you reach the arcade bar, you’re greeted by the bright neon light of the sign as well as the nostalgic sounds of old video games. It’s been a while since you’ve been here.

“Want some food first?” he asks. You nod, so both of you quietly make way to the bar section of the arcade and quickly order some food and drinks as you sit down and try to make some small talk.

He asks you about your week, and what you did before you take over with helping your ma and pa shop. You tell him everything about how your mom got sick a couple of years back, and so you have to take a break from college to help out with the family business.

“It has been three years now, so I’m not even sure I want to go back,” you chuckled awkwardly at the idea. “If I do go back, it’ll be just my dad running the shop, and I really don’t want my sister to drop out of college like I did either.”

“Hmm, I feel that,” Shang-chi says. He knows it well about the family business.

“Do you have little siblings too?”

“Yeah, I have a baby sister,” he says. “Well, she’s not a baby anymore,” he laughs. “But I get that. You just want what’s best for her, y’know.”

You can see there’s a slight sadness in his eyes, and you just want to reach out and touch him.

“Yeah. So what’s the plan for you now that you’re back here?” you ask before you take a bite out of the sandwich.

“Not much. I’ll be going back and forth between here and New York a lot.”

“New job?”

Shang-chi cannot hide the smile when he sees how you perk up suddenly.

“Yeah. Yeah, kind of like that.”

“That’s very nice. What kind of job is it?”

“Uh...just kind of like...research assistant?” shit.

“Oh, that’s very nice. You’re so lucky. I always wanted to go to New York.”

“Yeah?”

You nod with a smile.

“Maybe one of these days, we can.”

You blush at that. How can he say that to you and not expect you to react normally in some way. Shang-chi cannot help but feel relieved to see that you don’t find his answer cheesy or too forward.

After you both finish with your food, you and he play some games. Shang-chi is good at it of course, but you manage to beat him at Mario Kart. Yeah, just one. You feel more relaxed and more at ease once the night progresses. You both manage to rack in some ticket points.

“Alright, pick whatever you want,” he says as you reach the prize booth. You look at him.

“Any one?”

He nods. “Any one.”

“But we don’t have that much point, Shaun.”

“Don’t worry about it,” he says as he pulls out a large stash of the game cards and lays them out on the table.

“Hey, man.”

The clerk doesn’t bother to hide his contempt as he slowly adds all the points for him.

“You can pick anything up to that pink plushie up there,” he says in a bored voice.

Shang-chi turns you with a hopeful smile. “Well, m’lady, take your pick.”

You blush deeply at that as you chuckle and glance through your choices. Your eyes set on the bright, yellow, stuffed llama.

“Are you sure it’s ok?”

Shang-chi nods.

“Can I have that yellow llama, please?” The clerks sigh and quickly go to the back to retrieve a new one for you and hand it to you.

Shang-chi smiles at the way your face scrunch up as the clerk hands you the stuffed llama. You’re probably the cutest thing he has ever seen. At that exact moment, he knows he wants more than just this one date with you.

“I can’t believe you did this!” you laugh once you both get off of your stop.

“Why?”

“It’s just so out of there! Did you seriously bring all of the point cards just for me?”

He shrugs. “Maybe, maybe not?” You laugh and roll your eyes at that. He really likes the sound of you laughing.

As you’re walking home, Shang-chi finds himself in a predicament once more as he can feel your hand brushes slightly against him. Would it be alright with you, he wonders as he feels himself getting more and more nervous.

After a couple of minutes, you decide that you’re just going to do it. You clasp his hand into yours as you walk quietly. The bold move really catches him off guard because he feels like he can’t breathe for a second. You smile when he squeezes your hand though. A silent confirmation from his part.

Once you reach the door to your apartment building, he reluctantly lets go of your hand.

“Thank you for tonight--for everything, Shaun.”

He nods. “Yeah, no problem.”

Both of you fell silent for a moment before you both started to speak again. At the same time.

“Can I have your number?” You pause and laugh. You can feel his face turning a bright shade of red. You hand him your phone as he hands you his, and you quickly type in each other's number.

“Shang-chi Xu?” you say the name out loud as you look at his contact. “Is that your real name?”

He nods. He’s impressed at the way you correctly pronounce it. It sounds nice coming from you. “Shaun is just a nickname to give for roll call, you know. I much prefer this name,” he says.

“I like it. It must mean something very beautiful,” you smile. At that exact moment he can feel himself blush even deeper. How the hell you manage to make him all giddy and happy inside is still a mystery to him.

“Alright, Shang-chi. Thank you for tonight. I’ll see you soon?” He nods with a smile as he watches you turn to unlock the entrance door.

“Wait,” he calls out as you open the door. You turn and you find yourself feeling breathless from the utter bliss.

Shang-chi gently places the softest kiss on your lips. It’s a gentle touch, yet it makes every part of your body hum with satisfaction. It makes your heart swell and your toes curl.

Your eyes flutter open as he finally pulls away slightly. His breath brushes against your skin still as he gazes longingly at you.

“I’ll see you soon,” he says before placing another quick peck on your lips. You sigh in content as he watches you go inside till you disappear behind the corner.

#shang chi #shang-chi #shang chi x reader #shang-chi x reader #shang chi x you #shang-chi x you #shang chi imagine #shang-chi imagines #simu liu #simu liu imagine #shang chi fluff #shang-chi fluff #simu liu fanfiction #marvel shang chi #shang chi and the legend of the ten rings

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youryanderedaddy · 3 years

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I had a dream just now that might make a good story. So, I had a virus on my laptop which allowed a hacker to see everything I did on my computer and use my webcam. The hacker ends up falling in love with me after stalking me for a few months and pays for someone on the dark web to kidnap me. It works, and then I wake up tied up in the hacker's arm as he caresses and kisses me. That's pretty much it, good night! 🌙

Yo this is my kink 😳

Also I couldn't not write this for Saeran, ok.

Title: Stranger danger

Tw: nsfw - ish, female reader, masturbation, cyber stalking, hacking, mentions of dark web, very irresponsible online behavior, obsessive behavior, implied kidnapping

You knew that this was a stupid idea. Lurking on the dark web with almost no protection other than the Tor browser and some free anti-virus program wasn't your best decision, but fuck it if it wasn't entertaining. You had always been drawn to the darker, scarier part of the human mind and this side of the internet proved quite interesting. Your friends always warned you about the dangers that came with looking up shady online searches and sites but everything had been quite peaceful so far. There weren't hackers or murderers on the dark web, the worst you had seen were people selling drugs and weapons for unreasonable prices, along with some questionable fetish porn and the typical popping ads.

Your favorite thing to do while online was chatting. Two weeks ago you had stumbled upon an unusual forum called "Scream buddies" where upon entering you were automatically connected to another random profile. The whole theme of the forum was discussing horror and mondo movies, shockumentaries and overall creepy stuff, your forte. The person you met on there shared a similar fascination with all things dark and gory which soon made talking to them the only thing you were looking forward upon opening the site.

You didn't know much about the guy behind the profile yet, except that he was a young man. His icon showed an eye so green it emited with the neon pigment and his username was just as mysterious - BlueRose7. You enjoyed chatting with him about your hobby but the thing you liked the most was undressing him little by little, metaphorically so, by getting pieces of information about his life. It started small - his favorite food, favorite book, favorite game, but the moment you tried digging deeper and asked whether he had siblings or not, the man simply disappeared for the next few days. You quickly realized just what type of topics you needed to avoid to keep your new friend from leaving. Family, childhood memories and work matters were out of the picture.

The stranger wasn't fair, not really. He didn't show you vulnerability and kept his secrecy while demanding to know everything there was to know about you. For the longest time you didn't want to answer just to stay on a equal footing, just to show him how frustrating it was, but there was something about the man that drew you in. He was magnetic, clever and witty, if a bit pessimistic and dark at times. You couldn't help telling him everything he wanted to hear - what your job was, whether you were single or not, all that jazz. In your defense, BlueRose7 actually listened to your stories, took your problems seriously and provided solutions, which despite being too extreme and overprotective at times (upon hearing that your bestfriend talked behind your back he offered to "take care" of her), were comforting. It was nice to have someone caring around even if you met him on a sketchy website.

Meanwhile your personal life wasn't going too great. You had to balance between attending college, working long shifts as a waitress and meeting your friends from time to time which was draining. On top of all there was a weird virus on your computer which resulted in the camera turning on and off and the most random times of the day - while you were studying, watching TV, or in some cases, fully naked and ready to take a bath. You didn't think much of it though, with all the illegal movies and games you downloaded along with the dark web lurking it was more than expected for your laptop to behave weirdly. You didn't even mention it to your friend from the IT major because you knew that he'd force you to delete Tor and put an end to your internet adventures.

One time you were particularly bored after several long lectures and you were laying in bed, the camera turned on once again. It was a hot afternoon and you were wearing boyshorts and a loose T- shirt with nothing underneath it, you were home alone so there was no need. The bright red spot was twinking like a recorder, the light reflecting in your eyes, when a silly little idea came to your mind. You slid your hand under your blouse and lifted the fabric up, exposing your breasts to the laptop, your nipples hardening due to the sudden coldness, becoming pink and stiff in seconds. You played with for a few minutes, pinching and pulling the buds gently, moaning softly into the pleasant sensation. Soon you could feel yourself getting wet, and slowly, teasingly, removed your shorts and panties. You smiled at the camera, biting your lip provocatively, imagining you were a camgirl performing for her desperate little fanboys and fangirls. The thought alone was enough to make you spread your legs wide and slip two fingers into your throbbing cunt, using the wetness to push deeper. You used your other hand to stroke your clit and whimpered wantonly, your face red, your neck sweaty and your heart pumping fast from the adrenaline. You were quickly reaching your orgasm and your mind wondered to the boy you were talking to in the forum. You wondered how he looked like, how his body was built, whether he was a sweet sensual lover or a rough mean one. Fucked up as it was, you pictured the man as one of your most loyal viewers, watching all of your streams with a fist around his thick vock and an excited grin on his face. He would comment things like "you look so beautiful like this" or perhaps even "pretty little slut" after tipping you enough to last you a week. Soon all the mental stimulation sent you over the edge and you came with a loud cry full of pleasure. Well, this felt good.

After your "performance" was over the camera was magically turned off, which may have caused some concerns if you weren't too busy feeling embarrassed and dirty about the unhinged fantasy you had just had, and with a person you knew nothing about. You managed to calm down though - it wasn't nothing more than a fun pastime, a naughty thought that would never become the reality. You would never actually meet BlueRose7, right? There was nothing to worry about, so you just went on with your day.

You had some dinner afterwards and decided to have an early night as you already felt full and tired. You put on your favoruite pajamas and laid in bed, staring at the ceiling until you fell into deep dreamless sleep.

You woke up due to a weird noise. You could hear someone's heavy breathing right next to your ear, someone's grabby hands were wrapped tightly against your body, trapping you between the wall and their hard chest. You had only a few seconds to scream before the intruder's palm covered your mouth.

"Shhh." The man whispered softly and stroked your hair like you were a doll he was playing with. "Don't scream or I'll be forced to hurt you, flower. I have a gun." His voice sounded deep and rough but this didn't stop you from thrashing and turning on your side until you came face to face with the man. It was dark in the room and you couldn't exactly see all his features but his enchanting green eyes would forever be burned into your memory - they seemed dashing, hypnotizing. You couldn't utter a word.

"It's me, the person you've been talking to all these months. I came to take you home" He spoke out suddenly, the line of his mouth twisting into a smile or a smirk, you couldn't quite tell. You shook your head no, tears threatening to spill all over your cheeks from the fear. It couldn't be him, the man would never do that to you. Or would he? With what little information you knew, you couldn't really tell. His hold finally loosen, seeing you quiet like that.

"Let me go, please." You begged, pushing at his shoulders weakly since you were still sleepy, groggy and tired. "I don't know you." You said, hoping this would remind the stranger you weren't friends, lovers or anything that gave him the right to be so close to you, to touch you so intimately. Unfortunately, this only seemed to amuse him and he chucked darkly as he pulled your hair away to place a small chaste kiss on your neck.

"But I know you, flower." Your supposed online friend replied shortly after, his eyes full of malice. "And your little show today makes me think you want to know me too." He added in a low tone, licking his lips before smashing them on yours, forcing his tongue deep into your mouth just to hear your whines and protests. Then it hit you. The camera, the virus, the questions. He had watched you, he knew where you worked, where you lived and studied, everything. You had told him after all.

The hacker thought you looked so adorable right now, figuring things out, helpless, confused, regretful and most of all, weak. You were so weak and careless, and he loved you for it. It reminded him of himself before life screwed him over.

You wouldn't be in this position, underneath him, if you had just told someone about your laptop virus and the bad guy you had encountered online. But Saeran couldn't say he wasn't glad your self-preservation instincts were so very broken and dysfunctional. He wouldn't meet you otherwise. "I need you, princess. That's why I'll take you to Paradise." These were the final words you heard before you felt lightheaded and sleepy again, your last memory a pair of green mint eyes.

You really shouldn't have trusted strangers on the internet.

#yandere #male yandere #yandere mystic messenger #yandere saeran #yandere oneshot #yandere saeran choi #yandere unkown #yancore #male yandere x reader #yandere oc #yandere male x reader #yandere oc x reader #yandere smut #yandere x you #yandere hacker

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