#but white!! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

baronessblixen · 3 months

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Saw your tags-- I cannot deny, men (and women) in white shirts are the best. DD gets all the passes to wear white whenever he wants (not that he needs it.) White shirts are just so... something.

And white business shirts or blouses? Apex outfit. XDDD

Oh yeah. I mean business shirts and blouses almost make sense to me in my head. But a plain white t-shirt? Not so much. But it's so attractive. Mulder in Demons? YES.

#lovely asks #it is not even 8 am i need to chill #why is it so hottt #anyways #the business shirts and blouses convey a sense of something #the white t-shirt is just what it is #he looks good in a t-shirt no matter the color #but white!!#my my

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plaguedocboi · 2 months

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I hate the “open floor plan” that everyone is obsessed with in houses now. I want nooks and crannies and bizarre floor plans. I don’t need to be able to see what someone is doing on the other side of the house. I want places to hide and lurk and dwell in the shadows. I am the beast who awaits in the labyrinth

#stop renovating old weird houses into white hotel lobbies for gods sake

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trans-girl-nausicaa · 23 days

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#white pharaoh

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big-man8 · 19 days

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Valentina Olivas

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tenderanarchist · 6 months

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These are so fun to make

#birds #birdwatching #memes #bird memes #fashion #birding #coopers hawk #white winged scoter #native birds #bird nerd #steal his look

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foldingfittedsheets · 4 months

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Every sales job I’ve worked has that one item. The white whale. The biggest ticket you can sell. The sale you brag about when you’re chatting with other industry people.

When I sold mattresses it was a split king adjustable base. That’s two twin extra long mattresses next to each other to make a king, but each side can move independently. They’re insanely expensive and honestly kind’ve impractical but it was the biggest ticket thing to sell.

When I sold sex toys though our white whale was the 20lb ass. It was a female pelvis, a cut out from the waist to the tops of the thighs. It was hyper realistic material and cost about $500. I definitely had bigger tickets but not in one item typically.

In my time at the sex shop, I sold three. Each time was completely different in terms of how the guy acted about buying it. The first man was a little embarrassed and shy about it. I was professional and supportive as I rang it up. Once I handed him the receipt he looked at the box. Then he looked at me.

If you’ve ever wondered how big a box has to be to fit a 20lb ass let me just tell you: it’s pretty damn big. It’s an uncomfortably large armful of box and every side has a picture of the sex toy inside on it. It’s not subtle.

“Could I get a bag….?”

There was no bag that existed that could possibly contain all that ass. “Hang on,” I told him.

I got scissors and tape and covered the box in cut up black bags. Looking relieved he picked up his purchase and left.

The next man to buy one carried it proudly to the counter; self assured and not embarrassed in the least. When I said I didn’t have a bag, but I could wrap it for him he gave a hearty shrug and hefted it into his arms, marching out the door with the butt on full display.

The last man to get one was just kind’ve an odd guy. Not creepy, but eccentric. We got along great, and as I rang him up I said, “Well one guy wanted his taped over, and one guy carried it out. What would you prefer?”

“There’s no bags?”

“No store bags. I think our jumbo trash bags in the back might fit it….?” It seemed rude to suggest putting a $500 item into a trash bag, but he wasn’t bothered.

He considered this then said, “Bring me the trash bag.”

When I delivered it to him he still managed to surprise me. Instead of shoving the huge box into it he opened the box. He took out his new $500 sex toy, and all the little things it came with, tipping them unceremoniously into the trash bag.

“There! Now I don’t have to deal with the box later!”

I was slightly stunned but agreed that I could easily deal with the trash. Then in a move I still think about with delight he flung the trash bag over his shoulder like a Santa with a sack full of ass and sauntered out the door.

If this or my other escapades made you laugh you could pop a tip into my Ko-fi! For more like this check my tag "ffs foibles".

#ffs foibles #funny #story #writing #story time #sex shop #retail #funny story #20lb ass #white whale #Santa

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whitepeopletwitter · 7 months

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