#but work is...destroying my motivation

[sketchy-tour]

Blame eechytooru for Beta Wally taking up so much free real estate in my mind. And blame work for as to why I am posting...MORE sketches. But! These were some Wally practice cause I'm never happy with how I draw him but also just...ya know. *Gestures to the art

Anyway. Beta Wally am I right? Yea??? Yea....

....Yea

#welcome home #welcome home puppet show #wally darling #welcome home arg #wally darling fanart #welcome home fanart #welcome home wally #beta wally darling #wh wally #beta wally #I really wanted to color some of these if I'm very honest #but work is...destroying my motivation #Like I have so much I WANNA finish and draw but my schedule has been all thrown off and augh #*laying in the floor #so many sketches...so little time #Beta Wally's colors are so lovely to me though I NEED to color him someday please work please let me go #*shaking the bars of my cage while crying

[mishapen-dear]

thinking about 4halo again and dying

they just. they used to be so sweet together. and then the election arc managed to genuinely turn them against each other (and bad is still affected by being caged in the museum) and i would NOT have been surprised if a rebellion had started within the next few weeks after their last fight and. they used to be friends and then they almost destroyed each other

and then the eggs went missing

and there are so many parallels between them, but one of the biggest parallels is how they're both protectors. they both protected the eggs (and, when he became president, forever extended that protection to the other islanders) but the eggs went missing and they had to put all of that aside. Forever was quicker to put it down than Bad was (it felt like only a very temporary truce, from Bad's end), but they put their problems on hold, because their eggs. were gone.

and another parallel. the destruction. both of them with their plans to cause ruin because then, maybe, theyll get their kids back. bad caused most of the grieving arc damage directly, and got aypierre and antoine to help him. he dug holes in the ground. he placed mines everywhere and leapt into them. he started the lavacasting process of the fed building (and was interrupted by admins, so he stopped, but philza and fit were still right to laugh at him lmaoo). he drilled a hole through the side of the federation office from a huge distance away. he has chosen to hurt his friends and himself to get the eggs back. whatever the cost.

forever destroyed the island. or he planned to destroy the island. or he was interrupted just before he destroyed the island or or or. I don't know. but it was big, and it was bad. bad enough that the feds had to step in and forcefully drug him, and kickstart the happy pills arc.

and the happy pills arc..... oughghghgh as fucking awful as it was for their characters to experience i genuinely truly think that it saved them from each other. when he was first told about forever being fucked up bad was still in the "i need to kick his butt" mindset, and was all ready for an excuse to kill forever. and then he saw forever. and the first proposal happened. and bad was angry and he was sad and upset and he was careful. forever tried to kill him. bad decided to save him. forever kept trying to marry him. forever kept taking the pills. forever was so scared of his own anger and all of the damage he could and would have caused to his family that he kept taking drugs that kept him so out of his mind he hallucinated his son was just sleeping safely at his house.

and they both tried to kill each other. and they both failed.

and bad showed phil and cellbit (and tubbo) the item scanner that dapper discovered, which could destroy him, because nothing else was working. because they needed to save forever. because bad was reminded by then that forever was a victim of the federation instead of just a mouthpiece for it. and then when forever woke up he saw bad, suffering, and so excited to see him awake.

and now they're here on opposite sides again with forever projecting his protection urges onto the fed worker in bad's basement and bad frustrated that he isn't being believed and his evil plans of giving ron lemons apology brownies is being interrupted and. look at them. soft "i hate you" and the appreciation room and bad's quiet heartbreak when he learned about forever being missing and the "i miss you" book bad got mad at because it asked him not to torture fed workers. does anyone hear me im so ill about them. do you understand they care about each other so much and the happy pills arc reminded them of that. forever realized bad is colourblind and bad assumed forever was poisoning him and then forever helped bad cheat on another colourblindness test and forever was giving bad flowers and bad was accepting them and accepted that he was colourblind despite his previously constant denial and! i don't know if im being comprehensible and i dont really care i will be honest i just need you to know i am frothing at the mouth like a rabid little beast. they are a TRAGEDY of miscommunication and external pressure but they love so so much. platonic or romantic or qpp they CARE and it tears me to shreds

#qsmp #4halo #i feel like ive talked about this exact thing like three separate times but #its one of those things that really Kills Me #and its CRUCIAL to understanding them and their relationship #they were fighting and now have found peace in hell #and forever using his care for bad as a distraction to not focus on his Own woes #and the way he's so sure bad needs help the way he was helped that at heart bad is a good person who doesnt want to be hurting people #and in a Way he's right. bad doesn't want to hurt his loved ones. everyone else? yeah. in a heartbeat. but his family... #but he's still makign the choice to do it. it's not lashign out in desperation the way forever destroying the island was #bad is hurting people with Purpose. he's putting thought into it. he's testing people and their knowledge and their motivations and he will #use them all as tools that can be bent and broken if it means they get the eggs back. he'll do it to himself too #especially to himself #ghhhgrhrgh the way theyre both self sacrificial and self destructive the Parallels the fucking parallels #i can best examine their relationship from a bbh pov and it agonizes me because i can't get all the nuance of forever's pov #because i dont speak portuguese yet :c #so best i can do is talk crazy about them like a Lure for other analyst shippers #pspspssps dont you see my ship. dont you see how canon 4halo is !!! in 8 acts #dont you want to examine them and their parallels and the way they are both so strange about relationships but they're finding a way to car #in a way that works for them #pspspsps #like me talking about qbbh vacation arc got the fandom acknowledging his sillies and directly got me a friend to talk about him to (hi kia! #maybe it will work here also #come to the dark side we have complex relationship dynamics that are frequently misunderstood and mislabelled #YOU can help change the world

[louwhose]

so stoked for the game, and I love the style (decided to try my hand at it)

#legend of zelda #loz #tears of the kingdom #totk #botw2 #lou draws #and for however few people might care my long fic I had been working on was botw 2 speculation #and I had been losing motivation anyways and this trailer totally destroyed my plans for it #so I'm not gonna even TRY a whole game plot thing #not that I'm gonna stop theorizing and writing fics about it #just not a long one

[fatedroses]

Your Avendurer! Zenos comics are always so good, and I love how you write him. The touch about him being functionally doomed to immortality is the perfect level of extra spice on top, too. Imo it's the perfect motivation for him to genuinely try to better himself as a person.

Thank you! Tbh the concept has had a hold on my brain since the end of Endwalker, and I'm glad you really enjoy it ^-^

It’s the subtle character development he’s gotten over the course of the story and the potential he has that makes me adore writing Adventurer!Zenos and the journey he has in turn of following the WoL's (Meteor, in my cases) footsteps.

Making himself immortal is actually the main inspiration behind it too, it's a consequence that self-sabotaged his original goal. Maybe eventually becoming a wake up for him that Alisaie was absolutely right and that he may still have an opportunity to not doom himself to being alone forever.

It's actually why I also made him a tank too, having him turn away from being "the man who was willing to destroy the world for his own chase of his desires" to him being willing to throw himself in and to help and protect others even at the cost of himself for a time, a thought that has stuck with me since the theory of him saving WoL with the remote crossed my mind.

#ask #anon #ffxiv spoilers #endwalker spoilers #adventurer zenos #is literally 'on no the consequences of my actions'- the character #exposed to having a moment of connection with another person- something that is implied he never really had #I see part of his motivation to do better is to become someone in the WoL eyes worth not leaving behind again #because I dont write him holding it against anyone for being left behind after internalizing Alisaie's words #I do see him wanting to become a true equal to the WoL and at the beginning views himself as being back at the bottom #and that- perhaps realizing that he destroyed WoL's trust in him after Garlemald is working to earn himself the title of being his friend #and knowing what that actually means rather than declaring it and imposing himself to be there #and in doing so he learns to open his eyes to the world #actually learns how to make friends and acknowledge others beyond their strength and courage #(tbh part of that is also just because I really enjoy the manga relationship between Zenos and Alisaie and Zenos and Emet) #(It's non canon but written with them in character so its just funny inspo I had) #i just think he's neat

[sleepinglionhearts]

I haven’t logged into Obey Me in quite some time

#doodles #obey me art tag #obey me mc #obey me mammon #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me leviathan #obey me asmodeus #obey me satan #obey me barbatos #long time no kei but there she is do not worry #all of these are ooooold #i really haven't logged in in a while sorry if this reaches anyone who's friends w me there #you ever get where like... your motivation to do something gets destroyed by something #yeah my motivation for some of my mobile games is practically gone bc i work w someone who also plays them and MAN i feel PRESSURE #always like 'oh i got this special thing and you didn't?? haha wow' or 'how did you do in [event that just started] i'm already this far' #and i'm like well i am not that competitive so i shall just simply Not Do Anything #aaaaa anyway i may start trying to get back into the swing of things at some point #i do enjoy all of the silliness opportunities it provides #hmm today i think i shall post a lot of old stuff #things in my sketchbooks that should see the light of day and all #here is some nonsense please enjoy :)

[decadentrot]

Summertime Record Aftermath ch1 pt 4

Prequel Animatic, Index

Current Chapter: Pt 1, Pt 2, Pt 3, Pt 4, Pt 5

UPDATES BIWEEKLY (so next time 19th)

Sorry its a day late cause i had a hard time with this one, I kinda just needed to push this plot along more. Yk originally i wanted this to be maybe just like 15 or 20 pages, but with the rate its going, this is gonna be a slow burn or I'll just have to cut some scenes idk Anyways, so this chapter we get more of Nightfall and more info revealed on Yor! Wooo Also I'm surprised no one has really asked questions about Nightfall, but I will say she is gonna play a big part in this story :D

(Also sorry bad handwriting and possible typos)

#spy x family #sxf #spy x family fanart #summertime records au #anya forger #damian desmond #becky blackbell #ewen egeburg #emile elman #agent nightfall #other than my difficulties with this i was so completely destroyed this past couple days #I was working on an animatic and i guess it didnt save properly cause i lost so much work on it #stuff like that just absolutely kills my motivation nevertheless i at least got this done #hopefully the next part will come more easily and i can finally finish my animatics

[confused-stars]

i can’t believe there’s a mutant quirk inequality storyline just being thrown into the final arc with almost no build-up and no time to properly focus on it

the idea of mutants being more widely accepted in cities than rural regions and there being a divide within their community because of that is so good! you could have really done something with that! a whole arc, even!

we don’t even know anything about heroes’ tragic backstories around their mutation quirks. there’s so much background missing when there’s a great story right there

#i knew bnha would never dive into the complex social issues of a world with quirks #but this feels worse. it's like a small glimpse of a better story we could have seen #like imagine if the league had found an underground cell of mutant revolutionaries instead of re-destro and his losers #spinner would've stepped up more shigaraki would've had to earn their trust toga could've had an arc about her quirk being considered gross #dabi could've been like 'if one more person talks to me about my body i will commit so much murder' #honestly this would've been a more compelling finale than afo trying to be a comic book villain and destroying everything #... i'm not gonna start a novel length fic out of spite #but hey maybe this'll motivate me to work on all my other wips

[feveredbcnes]

Hello :)

#from the outside ( ooc ) #( so work really destroyed what motivation I had left hence the reason I disappeared!! ) #( so I'm in the process of looking for a new one in the hopes of clawing back my happiness ) #( I want to try and write this weekend because writing my goofy guy usually helps lift my mood ) #( I hope folks are still up for writing with him?? )

[old-men-mmm]

I just can't get over what a GOOD VILLAIN/CHARACTER Jin Guangyao is

#he's self-motivated and willing to do anything to get what he wants #he's willing to kill he's willing to marry his sister he's willing to commit infanticide he's willing to DESTROY his sworn brother's mind #I despise him for personal reasons but gods above he is an amazing villain #and I'm not sure if he thinks what he does is wrong #he sees himself as better than everyone else (tho maybe not LXC) and understands how enough people work to sucessfully manipulate them for- #10+ YEARS. HE MANIPULATES DOZEBS OF PEOPLE FOR 10+ YEARS AND (I think) ONLY ONE OF THEM CATCHES ON #just. my gods. what a good villain+character #Jin Guangyao #JGY #MDZS #Mo Dao Zu Shi #wait shit not really infanticide #well. I'm too lazy to go back and change it❤️

[titaen]

why does "under the tree" go so hard actually

#i listened to it for the first time like a few days ago #hot DAMN #also imma try and be here after work <3 #my writing motivation finally kicked back in last night and im still feeling that high lmao #prays work doesnt destroy that #;REJECT HUMANITY RETURN TO MONKE. (ooc)

[sluttish-armchair]

Me: “I’m going to stop procrastinating and read The Invisible Man this weekend.”

Me, not even a day later: “Hehehehe Fahrenheit 451 go BRRRRRRR”

#I mean… at least I’m reading *something* and not going on my phone 24/7??? #(I was able to find a hard copy for a low price; and I bought it despite everything screaming in me not to #(both my parents know I bought it because I told them it’s one of my favorite books ever) #If they do end up reading the synopsis on Wikipedia — or the book itself — and decide it’s too worldly for me to have #they may be less inclined to destroy it because it’s a book about book burning; or (more hilariously) they may decide to destroy it #in which case I will whip out my crappy digital copy and read Beatty’s lecture at the end of part one to them; to hold it up as a mirror #I may also have a copy of the 2003 edition of 1984 coming in the mail along with two other books (so I can open it privately and say #“I bought these two books because they looked interesting” and they’ll believe me (if the package is ambiguous enough) #or if it isn’t ambiguous I can just find a book I have that they’ve never seen me read and “re-gift” it to myself) #because I feel I will work more efficiently with a real copy of 1984 in my hands… and it will serve as motivation for me to read it again #which will further my understanding of the novel and make my adaptation better #(not to mention the fact that the books were on sale for five dollars a piece) #but one of the other books’ synopses revolves around the fact that a man woke up “bandaged and being tended to by his wife” 👀👀 #and it seems like a “good” story in the eyes of the cult so uh #yeah #looking respectfully (in an ace way) #my book now #also: Anyone ever read the book Warp Speed by an author with the last name of Yee? Highly recommend #That one I already have (and I may read it again soon idk) but the third book I got reminds me of it in terms of the vibe of the premise #It’s about a kid who jokes all the time as a trauma response #something tells me I’ll relate to that LOL #I’m gonna have to sell a lot of my books because they just don’t interest me any longer (of course they don’t; I was nine #and I bought them at a book fair knowing full well I hated reading)) #I’ll keep Guitar Notes and Godzilla and Killer Species 1 and 2; but the rest can all go #OH MY GOD Infestation… that one’s excellent. I’ll keep that too #Giant ants attacking a boarding school for troubled boys; and these kids have to escape the compound without getting eaten #good book #Loved it as a ten year old suffering from melancholy and whooping cough

[lord-squiggletits]

I actually sometimes fall prey to moments of insecurity where I'm like, imagine if you had spent these past 3 years writing REAL ORIGINAL stories instead of fan fiction you'll never get professional acclaim or profit from.

But it always passes for a couple reasons. One, I actually have gotten a lot of acclaim and a lot of people saying my fics helped/impacted them. Two, I've gotten occasional tips from people so I can say that I've technically profited off of it. And three, I think publishing fan fiction has done more for my writing ability than privately writing original fiction ever did. They're two very different genres, sure, but also, I've literally published almost 400,000 words and that has given me an undeniable quantity of skill and practice that I wouldn't get if I stuck to the traditional model of writing one book and trying to pitch it to publishing agencies (shudders) until I succeed.

#squiggposting #also it was actually a few months before i posted my first fanfic #that i did a writing project for my degree and it destroyed my motivation to write #for a while afterwards #even though my reviewers were pretty lenient all things considered #i just realized that i couldnt handle and didnt WANT to handle writing for an audience #writing as a profession that i have to be evaluated on by Official People #it's just not for me #if i ever get published professionally itll be because they found my work online #and want to publish it for the traditional market #like fanfic turned original fic #or like how the martian was a free to read book online before the industry picked it up #anyways ive had a great time writing for fandom and wouldnt exchange it for the world #met so many friends thanks?to my writing

[fishfingersandjellybabies]

Got catcalled twice with my fellow lady manager while out on a 20 min walk today. (And honestly it was probably her getting catcalled)

A male coworker continued to ignore my entire existence while acknowledging every other female around me at the same time

A customer yelled at me until i gave him attention.

Am I ever going to be given the respect I deserve or have earned? Am I ever going to like how I look? My money’s on no for both. Sigh.

#tbd #knowing it was my boss being catcalled and then being ignored #i just feel so ugly and hideous and just disgusting #and destroyed any motivation i had to focus on my work today #GOD im just vomit inducing #and even if i waa the one getting called at id have felt gross #sigh #i just hate myself

[noxtivagus]

nah fuck

#delete later #when i said i was okay i genuinely was fine save for the physical pain but #how quick words that were once truths turn into lies huh? #ah fuck i want to block out the whole world. i want to destroy it all. it's all so fucking worthless #maybe hormones r just fucking me up rn n i'm just emotional but #no bcs i was doing emotionally decent earlier but i just rmbered smth n i feel like crying again #i want to disappear i want to hide i want to say goodnight #stupid mood swings . n i rmber again abt all the things i have to do rn & i want to focus on myself n my work but #it's september rn right? #two years ago i think i was in a similar predicament where i was drifting from both reality and fiction. from my life in general #distancing myself from others. stuck in that oblivion #i don't know why i've been more keenly remembering 2 years ago recently. #nah actually it's probably bcs they were the friend grp i had back then that i cld really share n be myself freely #but they knew the good n bad of me. ultimately decided to let me go in one of the darkest times of my life #which damaged me for a while bcs i struggled believing i was deserving of better but i ultimately became my own best friend #but that time in general was. a time where i was alone. deep in my passions. idling my time #a bit empty a bit lost. not exactly sure what i was doing in my life but i was content being alone before i realized how nice it was to #share yourself. if i wasn't alone then i'd love that again but in times where i'm tired n drained i just make even more failures #n i'm not sure how to face the ppl i care for when i'm dealing w the guilt of not doing more of what i could be capable of in a moment #from cringe tumblr stuff to irl problems. they supported my writing in a time where it was hard for me to have consistent inspo/motiv #nah every year i swear i meet new people n the story repeats. different ppl different chapters but same trope #last year with ffxiv. mostly the only ppl i talked w for the year ever since joining that fc in june. n to october i barely talked w others #this year i've been more attuned to my reality but i think i've been slowly losing sight of a part of myself that was strong #when i was alone. but i'm afraid that i'll experience that emptiness again from late 2020 to early 2021 #video games in general & ffxiv specifically helped fill that emptiness. it healed me. #i don't rmber much in those months other than ffxiv bcs i was still numb from smth unexpected that happened in earlier months #april i was stuck in the free trial n though i was enjoying myself i rmber feeling so lost n falling behind. finally buying on sale saved m #i'm too tired to think abt the present or future rn but that feels like a failure on my behalf n i can't rest #but then it also just still hurts. the same things. my friends are closer with others. when have i ever been the first choice? #everyone's special though. i'll keep on being myself then surely what is meant to happen will fall in time

[moonexile]

luther is so full of love and has so much love to give, but he just never gets it quite right and too often hurts someone in the process of trying to help someone. he is a Right Intentions, Wrong Execution man.

#more at 10 #i think about this a lot and I’m really happy s3 made it v clear that his motivation is his family #It always has been but. It’s been so messy. #He says it himself in s2 ‘the last time I destroyed the world by overestimating my own importance #hc. #I have so much more to say on this but it’s what I am thinking about rn #I’m at work 😞

[i-like-yoongi-a-latte]

Helloooo it's your local procrastinator who is absolutely fucked with her assignment <333 and I'm here to share these news with you hahahahahahhahahahhahahaha no seriously I need to write 3000 words and send this garbage tomorrow and I currently have 300 words love that for me!! I don't know what to write and I've lost all interest and motivation for studying but I also don't want to fail this course

#it's midnight and i kinda want to sleep but i'm currently 75% caffeine so i'm not that sleepy #at least i came up with a clever opening line for the essay in the shower or so i think #idk if anything even makes sense but one thing is for sure and it's that i've lost the motivation #this course could have been so fun and the research for this would have been fun but my brain is like no❤️ #it sucks but what can i do #and the perfectionist in me will not let me send a half-assed work seriously gotta love my brain #uni work is destroying me #elena rambles