#but. I’m frustrated and surrounded by family. so I’m gonna rant in the tags a bit

[void-tiger]

Y’know, on some issues there IS no so-called “middle ground,” only action, extreme action, and inaction. And you better know the issue before you choose inaction.

#tiger’s roar #roe v wade #pro choice #reproductive rights #reproductive justice #women’s health #afab health #quite frankly this can apply to many other social justice issues #but. I’m frustrated and surrounded by family. so I’m gonna rant in the tags a bit #‘the states get to decide!’ NO. did you even look at the states. do you even grasp that there’s more at stake than protobabies #can you even comprehend that these laws on the books are now in effect. were never removed. with people like the ones who put them there #wanting to attack other aspects of women’s health and autonomy + will happily make even male condoms illegal #(no really. there’s some polititian in OK trying to do just that.) #do you even care that forcing afab persons to carry pregnancies they do not want or cannot afford or will kill them #or even the zygote/fetus they Actually Want #gives us less rights than…a corpse. #you Cannot harvest organs and blood etc from a non-consenting corpse #even to save LIVING people’s lives. #(and like. medically? there’s no ‘tell’ for a miscarriage vs abortion. and YES texas women have already faces legal consoquences #(…over miscarrying a pregnancy they wanted.)

[margoshansons]

The Killing Kind (4/?)

Part Four: 

Summary: The night before her school trip to Europe, Y/N talks to Peter about her parents and his heroes. Then on the plane, Peter’s plan blows up in his face. 

Warnings: mild swearing, angst, and mild secondhand embarrassment. 

Notes: Thank you for all the love! Also, Tom is so cute in this gif. There’s a playlist now at this link! 

(Y/N) stared up at the low ceiling, wishing for the fifth time that night that she could fall asleep. May’s leather couch felt cold against her bare legs, the borrowed pajama shorts tightening around her waist, leaving elastic marks etched into the skin. 

She was grateful for May letting her stay the night, really she was, but there were a few times (Y/N) considered leaving just to head back to her own bed. 

Wherever that was now. 

She turned on her side as she contemplated her housing arrangments. She’d definitely have to get out of the City, that’s for sure. Maybe she could find an abandoned building near MJ’s apartment. But that would potentially lead to her Dad figuring out her friendship with the woman. 

As she continued to toss and turn she let out a frustrated sigh. 

Could her Dad not leave her alone for more than a year?

She was brought out of her frustrated thoughts by a crash coming from the front door. Leaning up, she readied one of her daggers in her hand, the blue light lighting up the dark living area. 

It disappeared when she saw who it was. 

“Peter?” (Y/N) asked, confused as to why he was coming back this late. 

His eyes opened wide, mouth falling at the sight of the student on his Aunt’s couch. “(Y/N), hey, uh, what are, what are you doing here? I thought you uh--I thought you went home.”

She chuckled at the boy’s nervousness, “I was having some family trouble, so May said I could stay over.”

“Oh,” The tension dropped from Peter’s shoulders, “Um, that sucks. I’m-I’m sorry about that.”

(Y/N) shrugged, ignoring the sigh that emanated from the sixteen-year-old. “It is what it is.”

Peter nodded, throwing a careless look over his shoulder, before sitting down on the couch beside her. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

(Y/N) hesitated, unsure about how to answer the question. She did hash a lot of her feelings out with May before Peter arrived, but some unseen force was urging her to release her emotions on the boy before her. The boy she had only met that summer after MJ had come back from being blipped. Peter Parker, who she could tell from the red lining his eyes, already had too much to deal with. 

“I mean, there’s not much to talk about” She replied with a half-truth, “My dad is being a dick, so what else is new?”

Peter nodded, still silent. “I, uh, I didn’t realize you were still in contact with, uh, your dad”

(Y/N) shook her head, “I’m not, he just...pops into my life sometimes. Uninvited, I might add.”

“I mean that must be nice right?” Peter offered, “Having a dad who will check in with you every now and then.”

“I mean, I guess,” (Y/N) continued, “I would just appreciate it if he’d leave me alone for a bit, I mean, I’m on my own now, shouldn’t he respect that?”

Peter shrugged, “I mean, he probably just wants to keep touch with you”

“No, no he doesn’t” (Y/N) continued, ranting about her father’s excessive need for control. She was halfway through the sob story that was her life when she suddenly remembered. 

“Oh my god.” She whispered in horror, “Peter, I’m so sorry, I totally forgot about-- Holy shit that was so insensitive, I can’t believe I forgot about--”

“Hey” Peter interrupted, “Don’t worry about it, it was such a long time ago, I uh, I don't even really remember it.”

“That’s still no excuse for the way I acted,” (Y/N) continued, still horrified that she had forgotten about Peter’s own parents. “I was just so wrapped up in my Dad’s own drama surrounding Tony that I just completely--”

“Wait, uh, your dad knew Tony Stark?” Peter chimed in, his eyes growing wide again.

(Y/N) nodded, “Yeah, he used to work for him, and then he got fired around the same time you--” 

Holy shit she was the worst, wasn’t she?

“The same time you started your internship with him.”

Peter swallowed at the statement looking away from his rambling peer. 

(Y/N) knew it wouldn't make up for how insensitive she had acted in the half hour he had been home, but she reached over and grasped his hand, surprised at how familiar it felt in her palm. 

“Hey” She whispered, drawing his attention back to her, “He’d be really proud if he could see you now.” 

Peter nodded, his eyes focusing themselves on the floor. 

“Did you know that he was the person I grew up idolizing?” (Y/N) offered, her lips twitching at the confused expression on the boy’s face. “Yeah, I had uh, posters of him plastered all across my room as a kid. My dad absolutely hated it, saying that there were better people to look up to.”

“No there aren’t” Peter whispered wistfully.

“That's what I told him” (Y/N) chuckled lightly, “When MJ told me that uh, you had gotten the Internship, I was so mad.”

Peter chuckled at that, his expression lifting slightly.

“I didn’t talk to her for weeks, I tore down my posters that day, and I don’t think I’ve ever made my Dad prouder after that moment.”

The two shared another laugh, (Y/N) scooting closer to the grieving student. “He was amazing.”

“Yeah,” Peter chimed in, wiping his eyes, “He was. I’m uh, I’m gonna head to bed.”

(Y/N) hated the cold imprint Peter’s absence left, but she refused to keep him longer after the insensitivity she had committed. 

“Don’t uh, don’t worry about your dad” he replied, “He’ll uh, he’ll come around.” 

***

The sun woke her before her alarm did. Gathering whatever little supplies she had brought over, (Y/N) slipped her jeans on under the blankets, folding the pajamas and leaving a grateful note for May when she woke up.  

It wasn't until she was halfway down the stairs that she felt a small piece of paper in the pocket of her blue jacket. 

In case you need someone

-May

(Y/N) stared at the sequence of numbers on the crumpled paper, resisting a smile as she typed them into her phone. When she left the building and called a taxi, she tried not to think about how her steps were bouncier, the sky seemed a bit bluer, and how New York as a whole, seemed so much brighter. 

The trip to her apartment and the airport cost her a good portion of her money, but (Y/N) knew exactly how to get more. After all, her dad wasn’t exactly the best at encoding his bank password, especially after three years of letting his daughter work beside him. 

It was a small form of revenge, but just enough to get her to smile as she took her seat next to MJ and Betty on the plane. 

“What’s the grin for?” MJ asked, her voice deadpan. 

(Y/N) smirked, “Oh nothing, just some good old fashioned revenge on my Father for bursting into my home late last night”

“Wait,” MJ stopped, “He visited you last night? Why didn’t you call me?”

(Y/N) shrugged, “Because by the time he left I thought you would be asleep”. The lie rolled off her mouth like candy. 

MJ scoffed, “Netflix released another abduction documentary, did you really think I wasn’t going to watch that?”

(Y/N) chuckled, “Well I’m sorry I didn’t call you, next time I get an unexpected visit from an estranged psycho relative, I’ll be sure to let you know”

“You better” MJ teased, leaning back to continue reading her book. 

(Y/N) smiled at her engrossed friend before placing her headphones on to block out the sound. She had hardly begun to pick her playlist when Ned Leeds decided to ask them for a favor. 

“Hey Betty, listen, uh, Peter needs to switch seats with you”

“Why?” Betty asked, her shrill voice piercing the thin air of the airplane. 

(Y/N) cocked an eyebrow at the veiled flirtation attempt by Peter and knowing MJ’s feelings on the subject, ripped out her earbuds and focused on Ned. “I can switch with Peter, it’s no big deal”

She was stopped by MJ’s hand, “Did uh, Peter say why he needed to switch?”

(Y/N) furrowed her brow, not understanding why MJ was giving Ned a further chance to screw this up. 

“He, uh” The gamer kid began sweating, “The uh perfume of the lady in front of us. Peter has really bad allergies so—“

“Peter has a perfume allergy?” Mr. Harrington stood up at that news, ready to save the day. All (Y/N) could do was facepalm as a whole bunch of seat swapping took place eventually landing MJ next to Brad, Betty next to Ned, and Peter next to (Y/N), Mr. Harrington’s reasoning being that she’s the least likely to be wearing strong perfume. She didn’t really know how to feel about that but it was slightly insulting. 

“You ready for the next ten hours?” (Y/N) asked, placing her earbuds back in. 

All Peter could do is stare longingly at MJ and Brad’s row in silence. 

“Don’t worry” (Y/N) interjected, drawing Peter’s attention toward her, “He’s not her type”

Thank you so much for the positive feedback! Summer classes are starting up again, so I may have to cut back some writing time, (and also watch and rewatch Jake Gyllenhaal’s movies, I love him,) But part five should be out soon. In the meantime, there will be a Masterlist coming out tomorrow and the playlist has been made! Aesthetics are on their way as well! 

TAG LIST:

@21bruhs @maiabiovillage @spidey-holland7 @petersblake @queen-destenie @thewinchesterchronicles @filthydeatheaters @cutiepiemimi13 @happylittlesuns @smolbeanfive @leilei-draws @olivia1112 @avnngrs @suvikamahes98blr @broken-from-fandoms @your-pixels-are-showing @sarablog10 @santa-feigh @jade-mccartney @prettyylamee @badboysdoitbetter2 @isabellapotter15 @keanuuuuuureeeeeeevesssss @kpop-wuver @editsbyjenny @radkryptonitepeanut @wonders-of-the-multiverse @kaylinfayezink @ppunderoos @weyheyavengers @thatsuperherosidekick @dasydni @thatwhitemutant @jackiehollanderr @complete-trash-101 @depressed-comics

If you want to be added or removed let me know!

#peter parker x reader #peter parker imagine #peter parker #peter parker x you #peter parker imagines #beck!reader

[mysteli]

Expectations Part 2 (Flynn X MC)

A/N: Heya! So this is part 2 of Expectations and my submission for Day 9 of the Choices September Challenge! This was actually supposed to be a three part thing but I don’t know if it will be necessary. Let me know if you want a third part. Hope you like this! 💗

Warning: T

Tagging the @choices-september-challenge

Tags: @princesstopgun @xo-endlessmayhem-xo @mechaspirit @endlessly-searching-for-you @skyila @brightpinkpeppercorn @parkerattano

A few hours pass and soon enough, it’s time for Ali and Flynn to go have dinner with Pamela and Steve Kingston. So far, Flynn hasn’t adjusted well and has spent most of the time fooling around with their daughter than actually trying to get to know the parents. That really doesn’t sound good. But Flynn does wanna try. He wants to prove that he’s not some washed up screw up drinking his life away. Cause he’s not. Those are just the stereotypes that rich folk like Ali’s parents are forced to listen to and assume that all rumours are true. 

Ali admitted once that she was almost dragged into her parents’ web of lies before she realised that her future lies beyond those giant iron gates and in the outside world. Flynn always found that hard to believe because she’s perfect. She’s capable. She always knows what’s she doing and why she’s doing it. She knows what she’s getting into before she does it. Clearly Flynn didn’t know what he was in for when he accepted to go on this crappy vacation.

An entire weekend with these stuck up bastards. Luckily, they only have to stay for one full day since the Sunday morning they’ll be leaving. Still, a whole weekend with the wealthy people he’s constantly tried to avoid. That’s what he gets for falling in love with Ali fucking Kingston. 

As Flynn scans himself in the mirror, he sighs hesitantly and runs a hand through his dark brown locks. He hasn’t bothered to dress up that much for this fancy dinner thing, since it was still in the mansion, but he made a deal with Ali where if he wore one of his dress shirts then Ali would, in her words, ‘make his favourite dream come true’. A smirk crosses Flynn’s lips as he recalls that moment. He still doesn’t really know what she was referring to. 

He straightens out his collar and rolls his eyes, really eager to not attend this dinner but like he’s been doing this entire time, he convinced himself that he’s doing this for Ali. Which he is. But that reason seems even less persuading the more he plays it in his head. 

Suddenly, the door to the bedroom creaks open and that causes Flynn to swerve around, his icy blue eyes immediately landing on his stunning girlfriend. His eyes widen when he sees her appearance. He didn’t think she’d even be dressing up. It’s just a dinner in their house. Can they not be bothered going to a restaurant? Do they have a live in restaurant or something?

However, none of that seems to matter as Flynn’s eyes skim hungrily over Ali’s appearance, as he barely spots the mischievous glint in her hazel eyes. She’s wearing a slim, maroon gown that goes all the way down to the ground. It’s completely sleeveless and only shows some slight cleavage. Her dusty brown hair dangles down her chest, naturally wavy but it still looks groomed and polished. She’s wearing the chain necklace that Flynn gave to her on their last night in Birchport before they decided to move to the city. A crescent moon is centred on a silver chain and it compliments everything else so well. 

“...Damn,” is all Flynn manages to get out of his mouth and it comes out as a mere whisper. Giggling at how awestruck he is, Ali saunters up to Flynn and winds her arms around his neck. 

A smirk plays at her lips, as her skim over the wolfish look on Flynn’s face briefly. “I’m guessing you like this.” Ali assumes and Flynn nods immediately, not able to get any words of his mouth. He attempts it but only air manages to escape. 

Noticing how speechless Flynn is, Ali presses her palms on his chest, careful not to crease his ironed shirt and plants a soft, lingering kiss on his lips. They stay like for a few seconds before Ali pulls away way too soon for Flynn’s liking.

“What was that for?” He questions, raising an eyebrow at his girlfriend in confusion but definitely not complaining. His smirk returns and he’s finally able to gather himself and structure his words. 

“Just trying to wake you up.” Ali responds in a seductive tone, kissing Flynn’s cheek and fiddling with the open collar of his shirt. Meanwhile, Flynn watches her intently, a curious look in his eyes. “You ready for this dinner?” She asks, breaking the momentarily silence and seeming to startle Flynn with a tension.

He scoffs, like he’s amused. “You mean, am I ready to die?” Flynn jokes but there’s a seriousness in his usual sarcastic tone. Ali just rolls her eyes and sighs heavily. Clearly something was bothering her. “Hey, babe. What’s wrong?” He asks in a rare concerned voice that he only used with her or his sister, Kate. In other words, the people he loves the most. 

Ali’s head collapses on Flynn’s chest and he wraps his arms around her waist, pulling her close and eyeing her with concern and curiosity. 

“It’s just... I thought you were gonna be serious about this.” Ali reminds him and lifts her head to meet his eyes, slight annoyance in her unreadable expression.

Flynn furrows his brows, not quite sure what she’s getting at. “About your parents? I am being serious. I just know that they don’t-“ 

“I know, Flynn. You think they’re gonna hate you and that they’re gonna give you all these questions that you don’t want. And they’re gonna pressure you about your commitment to me.” Ali cuts him off and starts a rant of her own, frustration slowly building up. “I get that but you promised me you’d try!”

Flynn immediately releases a sigh, knowing she’s right but not really wanting to admit it. There’s a chance that they could like him. If he really tried... or chose to act like one of them. A wealthy, stuck-up bastard, since that’s the kind of person they want her to be with. He really wants to make that joke but the solemn look in Ali’s eyes tells him to keep it to himself. 

“...Okay, Ali. I’m sorry. I know I’m not being very fair and I know you want this to work. So I’ll try. But I’m only doing this for you, okay?” He admits, kissing Ali’s forehead as an attempt to calm her which seems to work. 

“You promise?” Ali asks, pure innocence in her tone which is always able to convince Flynn in a heartbeat. 

He releases a soft sigh and rests his jaw on Ali’s head, strands of her hair sticking up slightly when he does. Her hazel eyes close as she leans into his arms, releasing a sweet sigh of her own. 

“I promise.”

Hand in hand, Flynn and Ali wander down the grand staircase and into the dining room, their jaws immediately dropping when they glance at what’s before them. A dinner setup like no other. It’s probably one of the most extravagant things that Flynn has ever seen, especially just for a few meals. A colossal dining table lies centred in the middle of the room, covered with a royal red sheet that dangles off it. A pretty sizeable plant sits at the middle of the table. All kinds of flower rest in it. Orchids, dandelions, roses, bluebells, daisies, lilacs. You name it. Sure, it kinda looks like a mess but it just fades out with all the other expensive stuff. Fancy china is set out on the table, on each and every single seat. You could fit about ten people on this table. Damn, Ali’s parents really are rich. 

As Flynn takes in the scenery, he really starts to feel like he doesn’t belong here. Like he should not be with someone who comes from a background like this. His parents always told him to never get involved the upper-class. But if this is what it takes to be with Ali, then so be it.

Suddenly, Flynn is snapped out of his trance when he feels Ali nudge him slightly. Wincing, he narrows his eyes at her, stopping instantly when he catches sight of her expectant look. She gestures over to the front of the table, where her parents are already seated and it seems like they were talking to him and he was too enraptured in the surroundings to respond. 

Pamela and Steve both sit beside each other in the direction so they can see the doorway where Flynn and Ali are stood. Both had chosen to change their appearance for the dinner. Pamela wearing a navy, velvet halter gown and Steve wearing the same suit as before - just in a different colour. Damn, wonder how many of those he owns. 

Flynn glances at Ali’s parents awkwardly, not sure what to say when he didn’t hear what they were saying to him. He can spot the stiffness in their body language. Steve is glaring at Flynn again, this time even more viciously. While, Pamela sits straight up, a little more suspicious than annoyed. She’s probably a lot more calm than Steve when it comes to people Ali brings home. She seems like the type who would be more lenient when it comes to questioning intentions and definitely more open-minded. But with Flynn, she’s definitely worried, especially because of his family name, reputation and past. And when it comes down to Steve, he’s just angry. Frustrated. Determined to scare every lover off and stop Ali from ever being involved with anyone. It’s a little strange considering she’s 25 years old and she’s been living away from home for 7 years. Who knows why he’s like that.

An awkward moment of silence passes and Flynn really doesn’t know what to say. He can see Steve’s strong scowl burning into the sight of Flynn and Ali’s connected hands. Heeding that warning, Flynn drops Ali’s hand, which definitely confuses her, and shoves his hands in the pockets of his off-black jeans. 

Soon, the silence becomes quite unbearable.

“Did you hear what I said, Flynn?” Pamela’s extremely posh voice is what breaks the silence and Flynn is instantly thankful, leading both him and Ali to release sighs of relief. 

“...No,” is all Flynn manages to respond with and Pamela seems momentarily stunned by such a simple and what they would call ‘disrespectful’ response. Hell, Flynn didn’t even realise what he said until it was already out in the world. 

Pamela gathers herself, gesturing to the two seats opposite her and her husband, who glare refuses to move from a nervous Flynn. “Join us. Have a seat.” She politely offers, a kind smile fixed on her face. 

“Thank you... Pamela.” Flynn responds, his voice slightly strained from the cold tension in the air. 

Both him and Ali pick out some seats. Blindly, Ali goes for the seat opposite her mother, forcing Flynn to sit in front of Steve. Flynn swears the man hasn’t blinked this entire time. Exhaling sharply, Flynn takes a seat, trying his best to avoid the deep scowl from Steve burning into his forehead. 

Noticing the worry on Flynn’s usually hidden expression, Ali grasps his hand from under the table, while her other hand rests on his knee. Flynn flinches at her touch, relaxing slightly, even as the unbearable silence continues. 

“...You have a lovely home.” Flynn suddenly says, his voice coming out very loose and forced. He pointed his compliment more towards Pamela, in a hope that she’ll respond instead of Steve. 

“Why thank y-“ 

“Of course you think it’s lovely. It’s probably better than any holes you’ve lived in.” Steve interrupts Pamela as she starts to answer Flynn’s comment. She narrows her eyes at her husband but he doesn’t seem to notice, not daring to take his eyes off Flynn, who was genuinely hurt by what the man said. 

Another unbearable silence takes place. Nobody really knows what to say anymore. This has to be one of the most awkward moments of Flynn’s entire life. Ali’s grasp on his hand tightens, as her nervous are activated and Flynn can feel the anxious sweat coming off her hand. Her first intentions were to comfort Flynn but her nerves got the best of her. 

“So, how are you, sweetie?” Pamela once again breaks the silence, which she seems to like doing, and turns to face her daughter with an expectant look. “How’s your life in the city?”

Ali barely catches her mother’s words, forcing a smile and taking a sip out of the water that the maid had set out for her. “Yeah. It’s great. I feel like I’m finally starting to get used to the city.” She tries to joke but the only thing heard is her nervous laughter. “...And I actually got a good story the other week. Probably one of my biggest yet.”

Steve scoffs. “A story bigger than that one about the Birchport murders and kidnapping.” When Pamela hears his words, she awards him with a nudge and a scowl. But he doesn’t even flinch, shooting Flynn a pointed look.

“Dad. I didn’t really do that for the story.” Ali tries to reason with her father but he’s not having any of it. 

“No. You did it to make your boyfriend look less guilty, didn’t you darling?” Steve cuts her off again and that causes Flynn’s blood to boil. What kind of father treats her daughter like that? Making all these assumptions about the decisions she makes. The fact that he still thinks he has the right to refer to her as ‘darling’ as well. It’s sickening.

“Woah. Woah. Woah. You crossed a line there.” Flynn suddenly chimes in, standing up in his seat but Ali drags him by their connected hands back into his seat. He looks at her with confusion and he can hear the vicious chuckles of Ali’s father in the background. 

“Oh, I’m sorry for trying to protect my daughter.” Steve retorts, folding his arms and allowing his snark to deepen. 

“You’re not protecting her, you’re judging her.” 

With that, silence once takes over, a blood-curdling tension being caught between the two men. Glares and scowls are exchanged. Wordless insults are passed by. While Ali and Pamela just join in with the awkward silence, not sure what to say.

Flynn has never felt more hatred to a man than in that moment. Who does this bastard think he is? Judging his own daughter for the right things she’s done. The noble things. Things that he’d never have the guts to do. It hurts Flynn to think about what Ali had to go through as a kid. How much of a hell her childhood must have been. He can see the hurt in her eyes when her father insults her or makes fun of her or even questions anything she does. 

“Tell me Flynn. Where do you work?” Steve suddenly interrupts the silence, which is a relief but it still manages to anger Flynn even more. The older man folds his arms in an intimidating manor but it doesn’t work as much as it did the first time him and Flynn met. 

Flynn grits his teeth, clenching his fist under the table and tightening his grasp on Ali’s hand, still gentle enough so he avoids hurting her. Ali suddenly leans into Flynn, whispering in his ear. 

“Babe, stay calm.” She tells him in her most persuasive tone which Flynn sometimes hates when she uses it on him when he really wants to punch someone in the face. Then again, it’s his girlfriend’s dad. 

As Ali leans away, Flynn’s features relax and he suddenly comes across as calm and collected. His confidence rises slightly, as he plans out his response to Steve’s actually normal question. 

“I’m currently in between jobs, Mr Kingston.” He answers calmly and a little surprise shows up in Steve’s eyes when he hears the simple answer. 

“And where did you last work?” Steve continues to bombard Flynn with questions but Flynn makes sure he has an answer for each and every one.

“My last job was at a bar downtown. Left it because I thought there were better things out there for me.” Okay, Flynn did lie on that last part but it isn’t obvious. He’s good at keeping things hidden, especially this emotions and mistakes.

“Maybe it’s your family name that’s stopping you from having a future.” Steve states, his tone a little more aggressive. Ali flinches in her seat that her father’s last comment and Flynn can feel her will power and her beliefs fighting in her head. She’s definitely trying to stop herself from interrupting because she knows Flynn is able to handle this better than she can. 

“Well, that doesn’t matter ‘cause I already got my future.” Flynn responds with pure honesty in his tone, as he wraps an arm around Ali’s waist - noticing how she melts at his last words. She rests her head against his shoulder and Flynn spots a scowl forming on Steve’s face. Clearly, he’s not impressed by Flynn’s strong intentions to stick around. 

“Still, you must need a way to make money.” Steve tries to challenge Flynn once more, causing him to roll his eyes. 

“I’m stable. That’s all I care about.” Flynn assures, realising his words came out slightly wrong, giving Steve the upper hand which is a definite mistake. 

Suddenly, the doors fly open, startling all souls at the table. The staff rush in with plenty of plates in their hands. They lay out some dishes in front of all who sit at the table, even though Flynn doesn’t remember being asked for what he wanted. Hell, it doesn’t really matter. He’ll eat a horse to get out of talking to Pamela or Steve ever again. All he really wants is to be somewhere alone with Ali or just be back in the city with her because anymore of this will probably kill him. 

As the staff lay out the meals, Flynn takes a scan at what everyone received, even if they didn’t ask for it. Ali seemed to have been given something she actually likes. Actually, it’s her favourite meal, even Flynn knows that and her parents probably asked for that because it is her favourite. She got a smoked salmon and a salad. Flynn even tried cooking it for her once and ended up nearly burning her apartment down. Reason number one million and one why he should not have a key to her place. Pamela received a full lobster and a salad as well. One of those huge lobsters that takes forever to get open. And Steve received a... wait what is that? That is probably one of the weirdest dishes Flynn has ever laid eyes on. Whatever it is, it looks disgusting. 

And finally, Flynn receives a... oh crap. Lamb. Flynn doesn’t like lamb. He’s never liked lamb. It’s too chewy, even when it’s cooked right. Besides, who wants to eat a cute little lamb? Flynn can’t eat this. He really doesn’t want to. It actually makes him throw up every time he eats it.

Noticing his meal, Ali’s hazel eyes widen slightly and she facepalms hard, knowing this is definitely not gonna end well. Pamela catches sight of the cringing and raises an eyebrow at both Ali and Flynn. 

“Is something wrong?” 

“Flynn doesn’t like lamb. Like he really doesn’t like it.” Ali states quickly and Flynn is slightly taken aback by what she says, hoping he could have just lied and ate it anyway so Pamela and Steve wouldn’t think he’s a complainer and a difficult person. Never mind. The plan has already gone to hell. 

Pamela is silent for a moment, not sure what to say. “I’m sorry Flynn. We can-“

“Nah. That’s fine. I don’t know what Ali’s talking about. No, I love lamb.” Flynn tries to lie, his voice coming out all strained and nervous. 

Ali can feel his pain, resting her hand on his thigh reassuringly. “Flynn, you don’t have to-“

“Ali. It’s fine.” Flynn assures, shooting her a weak smile. 

Silently, he picks up one of the many forks and knives laid out on the table and starts cutting the lamb, cringing a little at the look of it. He’s tempted to just run away right there but it wouldn’t be fair to Ali so he just sucks it up and picks up the lamb, the fork trembling in his hand. 

“Shit.” Flynn curses under his breath, thankful that no one heard him. 

Quickly, he forces the lamb in his mouth, instantly cringing at the overwhelming taste in his mouth. Ali can barely keep a straight face, as she tries not to feel sorry for Flynn. Pamela and Steve just watch him with confusion and expectancy, intrigued by what’s going to happen. 

As the taste completely destroys Flynn, he can vomit rising in his throat. Not again. He thinks. This cannot be happening again. On the day that Ali’s parents are supposed to learn how to like him. 

“I’m just gonna...” Flynn doesn’t have time to excuse himself so he stumbles out of his seat and rushes to the bathroom, not daring to look back, even as he hears a chuckle from Steve as he hurries out.

This could not have gone any worse. 

As Flynn rushes down the hallway, he can hear the faint sound of Ali shooting up from her seat and shouting at her parents. Or just her dad.

“I cannot believe you!! All he wants is for you to like him but you can’t even do that you selfish asshole!” She yells as she storms out after Flynn. 

Geez, did she really just call her dad that? Their relationship must be bad. But from the way they greeted each other, Flynn just assumed everything was okay. 

Later, Flynn paces around in the bedroom he’s forced to sleep in for the next two nights, a stressed look on his face. Ali asked if he was okay when he got out of the bathroom and he told her to continue dinner without him, since he just wanted to be alone for a while. Time alone with himself didn’t really work because all he’s been worrying about is his girlfriend and how awkward she must feel, explaining why her boyfriend doesn’t wanna face her own parents. 

It’s stupid. It’s like he’s scared which he shouldn’t be but he is. Hell, even Ali might be mad at him because of how he acted during dinner. Especially to her father, even though he promised that he’d try to get along with them. That plan went straight to hell. 

Now, he just feels guilty for how he left things with her and it kills him to know that she’s handling everything with her parents on her own as he pettily paces around like an idiot. 

Flynn sighs hesitantly, completely aware that he’s fucked up now. 

All of a sudden, he’s startled by the sound of the door creaking open and he immediately assumes it’s Ali. But no. It’s... Pamela? Why the hell would she wanna talk to Flynn? It has to be about Ali? What else would it be about?

As Pamela shuts the door, there’s a look of concern on her face and it’s actually genuine. “I’m not intruding, am I?” 

Flynn swerves around to face the window, folding his arms in a tense manor. “Nah. Nothing to intrude.” He responds in the dullest voice he’s probably ever used. 

Pamela wanders up to stand beside Flynn, the sound of her heels having a negative effect on Flynn’s ears. “I just came to talk to you about-“

“Ali. Yeah I got that.” Flynn cuts her off, running a hand through his dark brown hair.

Pamela shakes her head dismissively. “This is actually about Steve.” She corrects, throwing her hands on her hips and eyeing Flynn expectantly.

“I’m sorry but I don’t really care if you’re hear to give an excuse for the way he treats his own daughter.” Flynn clarifies bluntly and Pamela is slightly stunned by how straight forward he is about what he believes in. 

“I’m not here to make excuses for him. But he is just extremely protective of Ali.” 

Flynn scoffs. “That was an excuse.” He points out, sighing heavily and wiping the sweat off his forehead. “Look, I don’t know what kinda messed up shit goes on in this family. But I’m only here because I love Ali and I want you to like me for her sake.” 

Pamela smiles weakly at how dedicated he is to Ali and she realises how much he really does love her. “I respect that. I really do.” She nods understandingly and Flynn eyes her skeptically, suspicion lurking in his icy blue eyes. “Ali’s been waiting for the perfect guy for a long time. A guy who understands her and is willing to do anything for her. Even if that means eating something that makes you throw up just to impress her parents.” 

Flynn seems to take that last part as a joke but there is something genuine in her tone. He furrows his brows and straightens his posture, still a little confused. “Why did you come to see me?” He suddenly questions and Pamela seems unsurprised, expecting that soon enough. “Does Ali know-“ 

“No she doesn’t. She ran out after she had a fight with her father.” Pamela admits, a strain in her voice. 

Flynn frowns, knowing Ali probably needs comfort right now. “I should probably...”

“Yes. She needs you.” Pamela states simply, smoothing out her dress and resting a hand on Flynn’s shoulder before he prepares to find Ali. “I’m thankful she has someone like you in her life.”

Flynn stops in his tracks, furrowing his brows questioningly. “Even with my past. My family name. All the crap said about me.” He huffs, not sure what to make of her sudden words. 

Pamela rolls her eyes at his disbelief. “Let’s just say I’m willing to ignore all that if Ali chooses to love you.” She says, a genuine smile crosses her lips. “Though Steve will take some convincing.”

Flynn chuckles, laughing for the first time since he arrived here. “I’m gonna say a lot of convincing.”

After that surprisingly good talk with Pamela, Flynn rushes outside, where Ali’s mother told him where her daughter is. It takes him a few minutes to get there, even when he is running, to find Ali but when he does, he releases an overdue sigh of relief. It’s like he’s been holding his breath this entire time. 

He finds Ali stand over a gazebo, leaning over the end and staring out at the view in front of her. A navy blue sky scattered with the stars and constellations. A half-full moon watching over the world. Silently, Flynn wanders over to stand beside Ali, fixing his gaze on the view and hoping she’ll spot him. Which she does. And he’s aware of that. 

He releases a heavy sigh and skims over the horizon. “I’m sorry about how I acted today.” Flynn suddenly breaks the silence in the most apologetic tone he can summon and it immediately captures Ali’s attention, as he eyes him with an unreadable expression.

She lets her arms fall to her sides and she tilts her head one way. “Don’t apologise. It’s my idiotic dad that caused all this.” Ali corrects, wrapping her arms around Flynn’s waist and snuggling into his chest. “You didn’t have to do that, you know?” She suddenly states, breaking a short silence that is actually the first peaceful one Flynn has took part in today.

“Do what?” He asks, kissing her hair lovingly. 

“Try to impress them the way you did.” 

Nodding understandingly, Flynn sighs against Ali’s hair and she closes her eyes, savouring this moment. “I know I shouldn’t have done that. But I didn’t wanna seem difficult.” He admits, embarrassment playing at his eyes.

“I get that, babe. But they’re not worth it. I love you and that’s all that matters.” Ali whispers, tilting her head and planting a kiss on Flynn’s tinted lips and letting it linger for a moment.

Once she pulls away, Flynn is left slightly confused. Furrowing his brows, Flynn tilts his girlfriend’s head so she’s staring into his icy eyes. There’s a questioning look in them. “So, all this time, it didn’t matter what they thought? We could have just stayed home.” Flynn jokes but he’s actually kinda serious as well. But Ali takes it as a joke, planting a kiss on Flynn’s jaw.

“Shut up.” She says sweetly and just because of the way she says it, he listens to her. 

They spent another moment in each other’s arms, remembering that the only people that matter in their relationship is each other. And they’re not gonna let anyone’s past, name or reputation stand in the way of that. 

All that matters is that they love each other.

#fan fiction #choices september challenge #veil of secrets #veil of secrets fanfic #flynn x mc #flynn o’malley #flynn x mc fanfic #pixelberry #choices fandom

[dancinginmydressinthesun]

3 for the unusualish asks💞

Oh I will girl ( you should have NOT give me that number right after the bold type season finale)

I cannot rant about Taylor bc everythings good and I’m living for that so lets just go with my favourite show and how fucked up everything is, I am usually not someone who voices their opinion too much especially on here bc thats just not the type of person I am but anyway 

The Bold Type has been my favourite tv show and if you have never seen it I still recommend you do bc overall its still a damn good show dont get me wrong if it does not seem like that (there are several reasons to watch it and I want it to become more popular so pls do)

Well, I started watching it right at the beginning, June/July last year when the first episode aired and BOI it blew me away, like, i did not expect anything major BUT lemme just say it destroys every other show its just that good (I love the girls it focuses on individually and together, the boss is full perfection, the main ship (a bi girl of colour and a proud muslim lesbian) was breathtaking, the storylines were on point and emotional and it just idk maybe they set the bars too high)

So the second season started airing beginnign of june and you know, I WAS worried before that they could not keep up but I had SO MUCH faith (but it also seems like the writers were kind of replaced and man that shows) the first few episodes were fire alright which is even worse bc i had lost all my worries and knew I was gonna be fed the whole season but little did I know …

You know I really hate complaining too much about something about a tv show that is there to enjoy and make me happy so I’ll stop thinking about it after this post but I do get the frustration so much (but death threats and bashing the whole show is not helpful whoops I said it) 

Just a few short notes on things that anger me a little (I’m probably forgetting thigns but anyway):

1. Jane (she is one of the three main girls) I really like(d) Jane a lot and I feel like I can identify with her, we are very much alike in many ways and this especially showed in season 1. I dont “hate” her at all after this season, not even dislike her, but she they used her for almost all (?) the controversial topics as the one who makes rude and subtle offensive comments, which is not bad in itself bc she learned from it mostly all the time and apologizes but it was just too often and much for me. in the first season Jane seemed at least trying to be more understanding even when she could not really and she was relatable with her concerns and her feelings and this was not really the case for me this season. I felt like she did not own up enough for some mistakes and it did not give me this tbt feeling of happiness and goodness and wholesomeness I had after every damn episode last season????

2. Screen Time (Jacqueline/Alex/Adena) You could probably talk about everyone of them in detail now but I dont have the energy - let me just say Adena and Jacqueline are my favourite characters so maybe I am biased and I know that this whole post need to be edited probably after I rewatch the season bc I can easier give feedback when everything is fresh in my mind but you know, all we fans wanted was to have backstorys (and bc he didnt really get one either this probably applies to Oliver too) not even much, just maybe like the episode in season 1 when we got to learn more about Jacquelines family and her past in general (still crying), it was so well-written bc it was not just something thrown in there but integrated in the storyline, it had purpose, it was emotional, it gave insight into her character and I honestly saw her with different eyes after that (and loved her even more), now those 3 or 4 just are really pushed to the sides. You dont see Adena without Kat really or talking about her character without it being about her sexuality and Kat (oh hey a gay one complaining about that??  yes bc even tho I answer I am gay after someone asks me “how are you” theres more to a person and especially to someone as interesting as Adena. I love hearing non heteros talk about their love life and everything surrounding it but at least then let Adena talk about how her coming out was, what she finds interesting in other women, if she ever struggled with it (i know they tried to cover some things but naah idk i just expected more) or just talk about something else, let us see her going to the movies with friends, a childhood throwback when she was in art class, let her talk about what she likes about some types of art. AND HER WHOLE CULTURE? I am a white western woman and I never see muslim representation on tv and I feel like still havent? i forgot at some point?! there are so many non-white people watching it hoping to be represented and ofc you cannot please everyone but now it just feels like Adena is just a proud lesbian you know. And Alex? what who was that again?

3. the storylines - sooo first of all, I liked the storylines more than most people probably from what I have seen on the tag. I think some of them were hard to put in just one episode and try to talk about everything important and still have  show going on, which is why it did not work all the time  have less storylines but make them work would be better. I really did appreciate that they tried to have a lot of stuff covered and they tried to put different points in there but there were a lot of het relationship and other drama stuff to be shown so the storys were often pushed too hard to the sides. this I say having the gun episode in mind the most i felt really unsatisfied after it and I was really looking forward to it bc i think its important and brave for them to talk about it (anyway watch one day at a time, the episode on the same matter is pure gold) . idk its alright its not the same feeling its less spectacular but I’ll stop whining about that now.

4. KADENA - I’ll try to be objective here , i do get that you cannot have a happy relationship without anything going on for 10 episodes (ok you can I would love that but maybe its less wise when it comes to viewers idk?? i stan unpopular shows so who am I to know) BUT come on, not like this?? they started of as PERFECT alright and then it all went downhill, you know cheating and stuff idk, I am not happy with it, could be more original, could be less meh but whatever I was like “ ok I’lll roll with it maybe its gonna bring a new light in this, let them grow, let them learn” but man idk. it was all a mess and once they made up and everything was fine (after 3 epsiodes of pure stress for my weak heart) after 5 minutes there was something new? almost any interaction was either them arguing or making up. I liekd their conversations mostly I really did but I was tired of drama all the time, after this season I’ll just say it: If they want to continue it like that until the end of season 3 I’d rather have them not together anymore. its no fun, its stress for them and even more for me and it would not seem realistic when they make them endgame at the very last minute (which I assume they will bc they promote it like that) without using multiple episodes and time passing to really let them grow in the relationship, without that it would just feel like one day after the finale of season 3 they would have somethng else coming up to fuck them up again. I was really baffled with the finale bc I WAS NOT expecting that they really wouldnt resolve it at all let us suffer like this (I remember that Nikohl i think said that it would be like that but someone else also said recently that it really feels like a finale and that the fans would feel assured but excited for the next season but excuse me? tbt fans who are happy about that end are great. would love to meet one one day. but where they at?? suttard fans all 3 of you I am happy for you honestly. and for sutton. richard idc. i am bitter tho. 

I STILL HAVE SO MUCH HOPE FOR SEASON 3 (pls let the old writers come back, listen to the fans, there are not too many instead of trying to make it more appealing to the general public what about pleasing us again with friendship, gayness, depth and happiness?)

(& remember: I.love.this.show. i do. I would recommend it even when there would only be season 2. but it would not be my fave anymore. its like as if taylor would have the same albums with the same music, same career, same backstory BUT her not really caring about her fans. I would still love her as an artist so freaking much. but would I jump off building for her?? naah maybe if there were a balcony and a pool who knows 

Thanks for coming to my TED talk 

#the bold type #kadena #kingsandthequeens-asks #canadaprince #odaat

[sweetvengeancee]

Secret (Alex Høgh Andersen x Reader)

Warnings : Alcohol, jealousy, feels.   Word count: 2080. 

A/N: I am so going to regret this. My first Alex imagine ever. I don’t really know how I feel about it so please let me know if you liked it (or not)! I’m not sure who I should tag so I’m just gonna go with @rachiieee and @ivartrash. I don’t know if I’ll write more Alex/Ivar imagines… But I hope you enjoy this one.  

I’d also like to thank @bananashemmo for the translations, you’re the best!

To those who followed me for my 13rw imagines, do not fear! I’m working on a Zach one at the moment, then I’ll start a Jeff one. 

Growing up you believed in love; you believed you’d meet your prince charming – a man who would sweep you off your feet; who would love and cherish you. Someone who would make you feel safe and complete; who would move mountains just to see you smile. A man who would show you off to his friends, his family, to the whole world.

You met Alex at a coffee shop in Dublin when you almost spilled your caramel latte on him, and somehow you ended up talking to him for an hour. By the end of the conversation he had asked you out and took your phone number. Only a few days later you had your first date.

Alex was a perfect gentleman that night – he picked you up at your place and brought you a bouquet of your favourite flowers. He invited you to a restaurant, and of course did not let you pay by the end of the night. He was really easy to talk to, kind and funny. And unlike all the guys you’ve dated, he did not once glance at your cleavage. You grew fond of him really quickly and after the fourth date you thought that he might be it, he might be your prince charming. You fell in love with his big blue eyes and goofy smile; with his cheerful attitude and loving personality.

But being in a relationship is hard, especially when it’s a secret.

Saying that you were unhappy would be a lie. Alex made you feel things no other man had; he loved you and he showed it… but only behind closed doors. When it was only the two of you, he’d shower you with kisses, hold your hand at any given occasion, just purely adore you with all his heart. His friends and family were aware of your relationship, but not his fans. To the public, you were only one of his good friends. I’m doing it to protect you, smukke (sweetheart). He’d say. And even though it was hard at times, you knew it was the best thing to do – you have seen what some fans are capable of when their idols get into relationships.

But after a year of being together the situation started to irritate you.

You were sitting at the bar surrounded by some of Alex’s friends, sipping on your rum and coke, when you first heard it – his laugh. It was contagious, really. It was like music to your ears. The way it sounded never failed to make you feel better, even on the worst days.  

A smile crept on your face as you slowly turned around, expecting to find your boyfriend talking to his friends, moving his arms around animatedly as he always did. But the soft smile that decorated your face was soon replaced by a frown as your eyes found him. He was standing only a few feet away from you, clearly drunk. His bloodshot blue eyes and his dishevelled hair, that you had personally braided earlier, gave it all away. He was moving lazily to the beat, his head moving up and down, a wide smile plastered to his gorgeous face.  

But what made your blood boil was not the state he was in, no. You’re quite used to Alex getting shit-faced with his friends. He was a party person and you accepted it, you were quite outgoing yourself. What annoyed you was the brunette standing right next to him, a bit too close to your liking.  

You clenched your wrists hard to release some frustration, your knuckles turning white. Heat rose to your cheeks as your breaths became fast and shallow. You couldn’t believe him. The girl was clinging onto him, practically throwing herself at him. And he did absolutely nothing to stop her.

Your eyes were focused on the brunette as you watched her run her manicured nails up and down Alex’s arm, her lipstick covered lips only inches away from his ear. Without breaking your gaze you downed the rest of your drink, wincing at the strong taste.

The girl didn’t seem to notice you sending draggers at her or if she did, she decided to ignore it. Your heart ached as you saw her smile wickedly at your boyfriend. Her intentions were clear to you, but not so much to him.

“Hvordan går det, flotte?” (How’re you doing, handsome?) She screamed over the music even you could hear, her flirty tone made you sick to the stomach. Now, you were not fluent in Danish, but ever since your relationship with Alex became serious you decided to learn some words in his language, it came in handy. Your eyes moved to your boyfriend expectantly, waiting to see how he’ll reply. Your boyfriend turned to face her, giving her one of his famous toothy smiles. A lump formed in your throat and your brows furrowed even more as breathing became harder.

“Jeg har det godt, hvad med dig?” (Great, yourself?) The fact that he did not reject her yet and instead kept the conversation going hurt you more than you thought it would. Tears welled up in your eyes as the girl looked him up and down biting on her lower lip flirtatiously, but you swiftly brushed them away, refusing to cry right there were your friends could see.

You felt confused, hurt, betrayed. You wanted to walk up to him, drag him away from her and claim him as yours. Show her, and all the other girls that have been eyeing him since you’ve walked in, that he was yours and yours only.

You wanted to kiss him hard, leaving his lips swollen and red. You wanted to mess his hair up even more by tugging on it while you sucked hickies into his neck, marking him as yours. But you couldn’t. You agreed to keep your relationship a secret, and you knew it was better this way.

But you never expected the love of your life to act like this. You never expected Alex to hurt and to humiliate you like this.  Maybe he wasn’t it, after all. Maybe he wasn’t your one and only.

So instead of running up to your lover and pulling him away from the girl, you stood up from your stool and slowly made your way towards the exit. It took you a few minutes to reach it, zigzagging between sweaty and intoxicated bodies, but you managed.

Taking one last look behind, you saw Alex still with the same girl, her small arm wrapped around his waist now. His focus seemed to be on something else, though. His eyes were wide, his brows furrowed but you didn’t think much of it as you pushed the doors open and walked out into the cold night.

Shivering at the chilly air, you wrapped your arms around yourself, rubbing them up and down to create some heat. You cursed yourself for not taking a jacket like your friend told you. Taking your cell phone from your back pocket, you immediately opened the Uber app. You sighed, the closest driver was 10 minutes away from you. You picked him anyway, as you had no other choice and wanted to get back to your hotel as soon as possible.

You walked towards the corner of the club, resting your back against the cold brick wall. Surprisingly, the streets were almost empty – except for the people waiting at the entrance of the club. Only a few couples holding hands walked past you while you waited and you couldn’t help but groan and stare at one in particular, they were being extremely touchy. Deep down you knew you reacted like this because you were a bit jealous; you’ve always wanted to be able to hold and kiss Alex wherever and whenever you wanted.

Soft footsteps and a voice you’d recognise anywhere interrupted your train of thought, your head shooting up and your eyes meeting his blue ones.

“Babe?” He asked, his hand cupping your cheek cautiously, as if he wasn’t sure if you’d let him or push him away. “What are you doing here? It’s freezing.” Concern was written all over his gorgeous face and you felt guilty for worrying him, that is until you remembered what you saw in there and you took a step back, leaving the boy confused.

“Like you care.” You spat. It came out harsher than what you intended and your heart pinched at his hurt expression, but you were determined to let him know how you feel; how hurt you were. “You looked like you were having fun in there, with that girl.”

“Babe, it wasn’t-” He started explaining but you cut him right off, your voice firm.

“She was all over you!” You almost screamed, gaining the attention of the young adults waiting in line at the entrance nearby. “And you let her!”

“She was so drunk, she would have given up sooner or later. You know I’d never-” He whispered-yelled, his hands resting on your shoulders trying to calm you down. But you scoffed, cutting him off once again.

“No, I don’t.” You stated. You could see his eyes lost their sparkle and instantly filled with doubt and fear. “I don’t know, and that’s the problem.” You paused, taking a shaky breath. You kind of hoped he’d say something, but as seconds passed and he hasn’t even moved, you continued on with your little rant. “Every time we go out it’s the same – you barely talk to me, because you’re scared someone will notice, or get it on Instagram and all your fans will go nuts. Girls fawn over you and you don’t even see it, but I do. And every single time I have to watch them trying to get in your pants.”

“Y/N…” His hands cupping your face as he rested his forehead against yours. You shook your head slightly as tears welled up in your eyes. You shut them tightly before wrapping your arms around his neck loosely.

“I can’t do this anymore…” You mumbled, your throat hurting from the little crying you’ve done. “I don’t want us to be a secret anymore.”

Alex’s breath caught in his throat as the words left your mouth. Were you going to break up with him? His arms fell down to your waist, pulling you close to him. He couldn’t lose you, not you. You were his everything. His moon and his sun, his safe place. He knew you’ve only dated for a bit over a year but he saw himself growing old with you. He only wanted you, and no one else. His grip on you tightened as he embraced you, his head now resting in the crook of your neck.

“Then we won’t be a secret anymore.” He mumbled into the sensible skin of your neck leaving a few kisses there, a shiver running down your spine. You pulled away from him, cocking an eyebrow at him. Was he serious? Were you finally going to be officially together? Will you really be able to walk hand in hand with him now? Kiss him whenever you please?

Alex smiled at your confused expression, his thumbs wiping the last few tears away from your reddened and puffy cheeks. Instead of responding with words, he answered your unspoken questions by pressing his lips to yours.

You gasped before kissing him back, your fingers playing with the hair at the back of his head. The kiss was gentle and sweet, one of the best you’ve ever shared.

Cheers erupted from behind you and only then you remembered you were in a public place. Your cheeks turned crimson red as you broke the kiss, but did not pull away from your boyfriend. You giggled as you heard a few of your friends shouting and congratulating you. Alex pressed his lips to your forehead before looking down at you.

“I’m sorry.” He breathed out, his eyes never leaving yours. “Jeg elsker dig, smukke.” (I love you, sweetheart).

“I love you too.” You said, getting lost in his deep blue eyes. They were shining again and it made a warm feeling spread in your chest. You blocked away all the noise and focused on him; forgetting about your friends, and even the Uber driver who you could see getting impatient from the corner of your eye. You’ve never been happier. You had the perfect boyfriend, and you could finally show him off. He’s the one, after all.

#alex høgh andersen imagine #alex høgh andersen #Alex Høgh imagine #Alex Høgh Andersen x reader #alex høgh x reader #vikings imagine #vikings #history vikings #ivar's heathen army #ivar the boneless #ivar ragnarsson #ivar imagine #ivar the boneless imagine

[romanwho]

Liar Liar (pt. 1)

Pairing: Bill Skarsgård x Reader

Request: a fic where the reader is like 16/17 but lies to get casted in a movie and everyone thinks shes 18/older and bill falls for her? But he doesnt know. And like she acts very cold towards him but he finds her upset and she spills and he says he still loves her and its super cute?

WARNINGS: underage drinking

Word Count: 1.4k

sorry ahead of time for any spelling/grammar mistakes

You were never supposed to actually get the part. With only a few commercials under your belt, who the hell would have thought you would land a role in a major film? You certainly didn’t. You only went to the audition because your best friend convinced you to. For the exposure, she said. So you lied and said you were 21 instead of 17, went to the audition, and actually got the part. 

You were so excited to hear that you had been casted that you didn’t realize the weight of the situation until after you hang up the phone. Immediately, you dialed your best friend. This was all her doing, anyways.

The phone rang a few times before she answered. “Hey, babe! What’s up?” she yelled into the phone, causing you to wince. You could hear electronic music blaring in the background.

“Where are you?” you asked.

“It’s Friday night!” she exclaimed, as if that explained everything. “I’m out!” Her voice was battling to be heard over the obnoxiously loud music and losing.

“Angelica? I can barely hear you. Where are you?” 

“I’m at that new club! The one where the bartender gives you free shots if you flash him!” she laughed, not sounding entirely sober.

You pinched the bridge of your nose and leaned your head back. Angelica was always doing stuff like this: partying, getting drunk, hooking up with practically strangers. How she didn’t get kicked out of school was a complete mystery to you.

“Could you go somewhere quieter, please? I really need to talk to you about something,” you pleaded.

Angelica sensed the stress in your voice, “Yeah, of course.” A couple of seconds passed as you heard the music on her end grow fainter and eventually disappear. “I’m outside now,” Angelica informed you. “What’s going on?”

“I’m freaking out, Angelica. What the hell am I going to do? Oh my god, I’m going to jail. That’s it. My life is over!” you began ranting. 

“Woah, woah, woah. Slow down. What are you talking about?”

“I got the part,” you explained.

 “What part?”

You sighed. “The part! The one that you convinced me to audition for even though I’m too young.”

“Ohhhh, that part,” she realized.

“Yeah!” you shouted, anxiety turning into frustration. “The casting director called and offered me the part, and I accepted it like an idiot! I need to call him back and say I can’t do it.”

Angelica interjected, “Wait a second! First of all, congrats on getting the part. Second of all, you can’t not do it! This is huge for you, Y/N. Like once in a lifetime opportunity. I’m not gonna let you pass it up.”

“But, I lied,” you emphasized. “I’m a minor! I don’t even know if this is legal.”

“Y/N, take a deep breath and listen to me,” Angelica instructed in a firm, yet calming tone. You did as she said and inhaled slowly. You glanced down to see tread marks imprinted on the carpet below your feet. You hadn’t even realized you were pacing.

“You’re going to keep the part,” your friend continued. “Shooting only lasts for 4 months, tops. You’ll only have to lie for 4 months, and then your career will be set! No more commercials. No more low budget student films. Directors will be begging to have you in their movies.”

You sat down slowly on the arm of a couch. Angelica’s words comforted you, slowing your heartbeat. “Four months isn’t that long, I guess,” you agreed.

“Exactly! I’m gonna go now. Don’t wait up for me! Love ya.” Your phone beeped, signaling the end of the call, before you had a chance to respond.

With another sigh, you slid off the arm and onto the couch. You lied there for hours, trying the mentally prepare yourself for what was to come.

A week later, it was time for the read through of the script.

You sat in your car outside of the office building the read through was to take place in. The L.A. sun streamed through the windows and onto you. Sweat beaded on your forehead, half because of the heat and half because of nerves.

“You can do this, Y/N,” you assured yourself. “21 isn’t that different than 17. You’re an actor. This isn’t a big deal.”

With one last check of your appearance in the rear view mirror, you stepped out of the car and started towards the building. You reached the correct floor and room with little trouble. Opening the doors, you found a large room with a long table in the center. A crowd of people were mingling around it. Presumably actors, writers, producers, directors, and other people of the sorts.

“Y/N, darling!” the casting director, Joe, called. He rushed towards you and enveloped you in a tight hug. “We are so thrilled that you accepted the part! Come, our leading lady must meet the leading man.” He took your arm and lead you across the room. The two of you came to a stop behind a tall man with dark hair who was faced away speaking to someone else.

Joe cleared his throat and the man turned to face him. You immediately felt your heart jump. The man was gorgeous, to say the least. The almost perfect definition of tall, dark, and handsome.

Joe introduced you, “Y/N, this is Bill. Bill, Y/N.”

Bill extended his hand towards you. “It’s nice to meet you, Y/N.”

“You too,” you replied, moving your hand to shake his. His large hand was nearly double the size of yours.

“I’ll leave you two to get to know each other,” Joe said with a wink before striding off to talk to more people. You watched him leave and couldn’t hep but laugh at his caricature like persona.

“So, I heard this is your first movie,” Bill initiated conversation.

Your head snapped back to look at him. “Oh, yeah,” you confirmed with a sheepish grin. “I’ve been in plays and a few commercials, but never a movie.”

Bill smiled. The way his eyes crinkled caused your insides to stir. “Well, the casting board was really impressed with your audition, given how young you are. How old are you again?”

“Seve- uh… Twenty one,” you answered.

Great, I already blew it, you thought. 

Before Bill could reply, a man stood on chair and called for everyone’s attention. “Good morning, everyone! I am Andrew Mars, the director,” he introduced himself. “Let’s get reading!”

Everyone moved from their spots in the room to the chairs at the table. You noticed that each chair was labeled with a name. Searching for your name, you found that your designated spot was right next to Bill’s. He walked up and pulled your chair out for you, like a perfect gentleman. Not only attractive, but chivalrous. Your heart was doing somersaults and you knew this wouldn’t end well.

 “If everyone could turn to page 94, we’ll start with the first line there,” Andrew instructed. The first line was Marissa’s, your character. 

“Please, just go. We can’t see each other again,” you read.

Jacob, Bill’s character, replied, “I can’t do that. I need you, Marissa. I love you.”

“If you love me, then don’t marry her,” you spit, digging into your character.

“You know I can’t do that-”

“Why not? We can leave right now and spend the rest of our lives together. I can make you happy. Can she?”

“It’s not that simple!”

“Of course it is! I may not have as much money as she does or as high of a social standing, but our life together would be glorious. Look me in the eyes and tell me I’m wrong.”

Bill glanced up at you, his eyes dark with the weight of the scene. “You don’t understand! You have no idea what it’s like to have so many expectations surrounding you. To have so many people depending on you. I want to spend the rest of my days with you. I desperately do. But I can’t put my own happiness over the well-being of my family.”

“I understand plenty, believe me. You say you love me, but you don’t know about love. Love is something that triumphs all else. Something to be fought for no matter the risks. No, you do not love me. You don’t know how to.”

“Great!” Andrew interrupted. The room erupted into applause for you and Bill, and you blushed as you looked around the table. 

You looked at Bill who leaned over and whispered, “This is gonna be fun.”

It’s going to be a long 4 months.

Thank you so much for reading, I hoped you enjoyed! 

So I’m definitely turning this into a series, cause I just love this idea. I’m thinking five parts and an epilogue :) If you wanna be added to the tag list for this series, message me

#bill skarsgard #bill skarsgård #bill skarsgård imagine #bill skarsgard x reader #imagine #x reader #fic #bill skarsgard fic #romanwho orig

[callmemrscurtis]

Headcannons for the boys when Netflix started trending

I’m gonna rant real quick idk wtf happened but apparently this didn’t post last night so Here It Is Now

Darry:
-I think we all know it took some persuasion from Pony to invest in an account but after a while he gave in and got the up to four screens at a time pack

-Was highkey pissed when all the boys started freeloading off of it

-He’s all comfy in bed at like 9:30 getting ready to watch OISNB and he gets the message on his tv telling him that too many people are watching at once -He checks who’s using HIS account

-He picks up his old ass phone (idk but it’s pink and has the coiled wire the bell phones)

-“GOD DAMN IT, STEVE! I JUST WANTED TO WATCH ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK IN PEACE AND I GET MY SNACK READY JUST FOR ME TO SEE YOU’RE PLAYING THREE DIFFERENT THINGS AT ONCE?”

- He’s all causal eating popcorn “Listen, Darry. They just put Moana as an option and then I saw that they have Finding Dory too and I don’t have time to watch them separately so-”

-“STEVE!”

-“PS Baby Dory is a-dor-a-ble. Totally deserved more screen time.”

-“STEVEN RANDLE!“

-“Although…I do like Ellen Degeneres’ performance…I find it quite modern and realistic.”

-“JUST TURN ONE OFF SO I CAN WATCH MY SHOW. IVE BEEN WAITING ALL DAY, PLEASE. IM NOT GOING TO WORK JUST TO PAY FOR YOU TO STOP ME FROM GETTING MY FIX OF CRAZY EYES!”

-“Dar, chill it’s like, what? Twelve dollars a month” 
-“eleven ninety-nine.”

- “Wait…why are you watching Orange is the New Black?”

-“you know what…forget it. ENJOY YOUR FREELOADING!” He slams the phone so quick. He doesn’t ask about the last show

-Darry hates Piper, thinks she’s a total bitch

-He watches all the trending shows or the unpopular documentaries there’s no in between

-He’s a HuGe fan of Stranger Things

-Watches Friday Night Lights thinking it’ll remind him of his high school days

-He threatens to cancel the subscription when the boys piss him off

-it’s such a powerful threat that it has never gotten to the point where he actually had to do it, they cut the shit immediately

-legitimately how he gets the boys to get their shit together

Ponyboy:
-He convinced Darry by telling him that it would cost less than going to the movies all the time and a lot safer

-He’s the one constantly reminding everyone that it’s illegal to use their account because they’re cheating the company

-They all look at other with serious faces then turn back to Pony and laugh their asses off because the law has never stopped them before

-It makes Johnny feel bad but he needs his daily fix of One Tree Hill so he got over it

-The one watching The Great British Baking Show because the American version isn’t there but he finds the accents soothing

-He gets frustrated because he’ll think he knows what they’re making but it’s just a word used America that turns out to be a different thing in the U.K. (Stuff like Biscuits)

-tbh doesn’t know what they’re talking about half the time…that or has never heard of what they’re making in his entire young life

-He has the masked icon as his “who’s watching” profile picture

-He somehow managed to convince Darry to get the four screen plan but it was never so that the other guys could use too it was just because he wanted the higher HD quality they didn’t offer in the other plans

-If he watches something he’s ashamed of, knowing everyone has access to his history, he’ll go delete it

-Its like the My Little Pony marathons never happened

Sodapop: -The one who gave the rest of the gang the username and password

-Worst mistake ever because now Dallas has Darry’s credit card information

-He doesn’t watch a lot of Netflix he mostly only went to movies to make Pony happy he only really enjoyed a few

-His attention span is just too short he can’t sit still to watch a movie for an hour or two

-Despite that, he can binge shows if he wants to

-If he’s sad he’ll watch Clueless and quotes the shit out of it

-Honestly Soda is the type to watch anything from a kids movie to a documentary on GMO foods like he only uses Netflix when he has nothing else to do

-To him it’s just one of those apps you don’t want to delete because you might need it but you never really use it

-His icon is the penguin

-He wishes they had a blue penguin

-but they don’t so he settles for the orange one

-he’s called the company multiple times to complain he’s waiting for them to call back

Two-bit:
-Fought Pony the first couple of days

-“SERIOUSLY? YOU WANT TO TAKE UP A SCREEN SO THAT I CANT WATCH MY OWN NETFLIX BUT LAST WEEK YOU COULDNT TAKE ME TO THE MOVIES?? YOU DIDNT EVEN HAVE TO STAY YOU COULD’VE WALKED AROUND THE MALL!!”

-“Listen, PoNyBoNeR. NOBODY and I mean NOBODY watches movies on Netflix it’s all about binging Baby Daddy, my friend.”

-“WEVE HAD THE ACCOUNT FOR A WEEK NOW YOURE SUDDENLY THE NETFLIX MASTER? WE HAVE SEVEN PEOPLE ON THIS ACCOUNT RIGHT NOW!”

-He ignores that last comment and answers the question, “Yes. And I say movies suck.”

-“DUDE the reviews for Wonder Woman were crazy I wanted to see it.”

-“Yeah, like I want to spend my precious time watching a lil twerp watch a chick flick.”

-Truth is he already went to see it five times

-Actually watches every show out there but mostly comedies

-Rewatches Friends all the time

-He’s never actually watched a movie tho

-He’s like Soda he can’t sit still long enough

-He wouldn’t have a problem buying his own account if he had to but using The Curtis’ is much more fun

-He had the free trial for a month but he canceled his subscription when it was over like he does with every other free trial

Dally:
-Only uses the account to watch porn in good quality

-That’s literally it I’m serious he doesn’t care for tv shows or movies it doesn’t have any other use to him

-Well he’s waiting for a good investment to come along and then he’s swiping that credit card info so quick

-He doesn’t use it for show watching purposes but he does fuck around with profile names and changes the pictures to piss Soda off mostly

-He changes the penguin to the Panda and it is a problem because Soda likes penguins and Pandas just aren’t the same

Johnny: 
-He watches the trendy shows and movies sometimes

-He takes Pony’s recommendations to heart because Pony loves this kinda thing so he figures Pony must know what he’s talking about

-He really likes Once Upon A Time

-And Raising Hope

-And literally any show that surrounds a group of friends because he relates to them for obvious reasons

-Okay but Gossip Girl is his shit

-The last profile has his name on it but the rest of boys share it

-Obsessed with Riverdale

-Pony didn’t fight with Johnny about using Netflix because he would tag along to movies before they got an account


Steve:
-Always pushed Darry to sign up for Hulu instead because they update faster and it’s the same price for no commercials as the 4 screen plan

-Helps Dally mess up the names

-Shamelessly watches whatever he wants

-Toddlers and Tiaras? Sure.

-My Little Pony? Yep.

-Cupcakes Wars? Hell yeah!

-Just no OITNB because that shit gets too crazy for him (RIP Dylan)

-Watches New Girl like it’s his religion

- He watched Family Guy and American Dad in the actual order they came out except for the first few seasons bc the quality/art style sucked

- He’s the type of person who need need needs to have something to snack on while he’s watching a show

-like he’ll plan it out or just save his food until he watches his show

-Laughed at Pony for spending all his time watching movies but now he never leaves his house because he’s binging shows

-They had the same conversation as the one with Two except Steve watched Wonder Woman seven times and once was with Sodapop who made him swear not to tell Pony

-But he’s a bitch so he exposed him when Soda refused to admit that Rainbow Dash is better than Pinky Pie

-Pony flipped

-Then Two came forward and it was a huge mess


This is for @maxisprettygay and @matt-dillon-trash

IM STILL SO MAD LIKE WHY DIDNT IT POST?? But at least it’s going up now

#the gang #headcannons #netflix

[kitchenwitchsuperwhovian]

Why?

Pairings/Characters: Castiel x Reader, Dean, Sam

Summary: After Season 12 Episode “First Blood”. The reader tries to cheer Castiel up with unforseen consequences.

Word Count: 1,948

Warnings: THERE ARE TRIGGERS so please read the warnings before reading the story.  Angst, little bit of fluff, (minor) character death

Tags: @leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid (beta)

A/N: This is a story idea that came to me while I was pissed off and depressed. I was mostly in a dark place so sorry….not sorry….

*GIFs not mine*

“Dammit Dean! I am trying everything I can to find Kelly. Just give me some time.” Castiel huffs out in frustration.

“We don’t have time Cas! God knows what that kid is capable of and it’s not even born yet!” Dean screams at Cas in barely repressed rage.

Castiel gets an inch from Dean’s face as he spits out in anger, “How many times can I say I’m sorry?! Do you need to hear it again? I’m sorry that I lost Kelly and the child, I’m sorry I couldn’t find you and Sam before you made the deal with Billie, I’m sorry that I’m useless and a bother to you! I’m sorry! Are you satisfied Dean?”

Sam tries to interject and get Dean to calm down but Dean just shakes him off as he rages in Castiel’s face.

“No, Sam! He’s right, he is sorry…” Dean rages and rants until a loud whistle stops his next words.

“Dean Fucking Winchester! Shut the fuck up!” Y/N yells as she stomps into the library and steps up to Dean’s chest. She starts poking him and he backs up while she grits out, “You need to apologize to Castiel.”

“But-” Dean starts and she cuts him off with a simple word.

“No!” Y/N growls. “He wasn’t the only one to fuck up. Yes, he made a mistake but it’s not like you are fucking perfect. Now apologize!”

Dean looks at Cas and takes a deep breath. “Sorry Cas. I just hate waiting for the other shoe to drop and the whole Kelly thing is on all of us.” Dean gives him a quick hug and looks at Y/N with his sad, puppy-dog eyes and some of her anger starts to melt away.

She huffs as he continues to pout and she slowly walks up to Dean and give him a quick hug. She ruffles his hair and tells him to get out of here. “I need to talk to Cas for a minute. And Dean, next time you get frustrated, come talk to me, Sam, or Mary please. I hate having to yell at your stupid ass.”

“Okay, sweetheart.” Dean mumbles as he hugs Y/N again and kisses the top of her head before letting go and leaving the room with Sam.

You smile then laugh softly as you hear Sam talking to Dean as they walk down the hall to their respective rooms. “Dude, mom is gonna be pissed when she hears about this….”

“Sam! Don’t you dare tell her….SAM! SONUVABITCH! SAM!”

A couple of minutes go by in awkward silence as Castiel tries to calm down. He is just so tired of letting everyone down time and time again. He knows that losing Kelly and Lucifer’s child is major and the only thing he hates more than letting his family down is knowing that the Universe has something horrible in store for him because he killed Billie to keep the Winchester’s alive.

While Castiel is deep in thought, Y/N takes a moment to watch him uninterrupted. The way his hair is slightly messed because he’s repeatedly running his fingers through the midnight strands, the flush on his cheeks and labored breathing while arguing with Dean. The way his grace starts to flicker in his eyes as he becomes more expressive and emotional. Unbeknownst to the Winchester’s and Castiel, Y/N can see the shadow of Cas’ wings when his grace starts to flicker into action. As Cas paces back and forth while muttering explicatives under his breath, his wings bend and sway with his rigid movements. On a pass too close to Y/N, one of his wings sweeps her feet out from under her and Cas stops pacing at her gasp of pain.

“Y/N, are you okay?” he mutters sheepishly while helping her off the floor.  

“Yeah, nothing broken just a little embarrassed is all.” she mumbles while a faint blush rises in her cheeks.

“Why would you be embarrassed?” Castiel asks with a tilt of his head and a raised brow.

“Oh, well, I saw your wings getting closer and I guess I was so mesmerized by the bend and sway of them while you paced that when they got too close, I didn’t have enough time to move out of the way. Did you get hurt when they hit me?” Y/N asks as she bends down to touch the tips of his wings.

Castiel is stunned into silence and when Y/N receives no response to her questions, she looks into his eyes to see his grace flicker as a warm, loving sensation caresses her cheeks and arms. He hesitantly walks towards Y/N and stops an inch from her body. The warm sensation continues across her skin until her entire body has been touched and sensitized. The flicker of his grace fades and his wings slowly bend and wrap around her back, gently pushing her into Castiel’s body until there is nothing separating them. The look in his eyes as his face slowly descends towards her lips sends her heart pounding out of her chest. He smirks a wicked little smirk as he darts his tongue out to lick his lips and Y/N can’t stop the whimper of need that escapes as her eyes stay focused on his now shiny, lush lips.  The kiss is everything that she ever wished for. It’s sweet, hot, desperate, caring, and passionate all rolled into one. Castiel groans and hugs her impossibly closer as his wings flutter and tremble across her skin. They only stop kissing so Y/N can take a breath and then Castiel’s lips are immediately on hers for another series of kisses that leave her light-headed and panting into his chest.

“Come on Cas. Let’s get out for a bit and go somewhere nice, okay?” Y/N mumbles into his chest with a sigh of contentment.

“Do you wish to drive or shall I pop us somewhere?” He whispers as he rests his chin on her head to catch his breath.

“Do you have enough mojo to pop us in and out?” Y/N asks worriedly while patting her hand nervously over his heart. He grabs her hand to stop the fluttering and brings her finger to his lips and kisses each tip with a wide smile on his face.

“I believe that I have enough mojo, as you call it to pop in and back. I will let Sam and Dean know that we’re going out so they don’t worry.” Cas mumbles sadly.

“Cas, don’t worry. Dean will come around. He is just worried about the unknown. He’s never been good at being patient or going into something without some kind of plan. Anyway, you go talk to them and I’ll grab some water and snacks for me for the road.” She kisses his cheek and runs to the kitchen to make a quick basket for the trip.

As she makes a couple of sandwiches and chips, she scrolls through her phone for places that Castiel might like. She yelps in excitement as she finds a listing for a flower farm about 35 miles from Lawrence so they can drive or pop in with no trouble.

Castiel decides to pop them into a secluded part of the farm after he has had a chance to check the area for dangers himself and he’s overjoyed to find that it’s near the bee keeper boxes. Y/N looks around and takes a deep breath of the fragrant air. Cas starts to animatedly talk to Y/N about bee keeping processes and why bees are so important to the environment.  As they are walking around the farm, bees buzz excitedly around their bodies.  Cas seems fascinated with each bee that comes by but Y/N has a sudden thought. She realizes that she has no idea if she is allergic to bee stings. With that dark thought, a sharp pinch to her left hand has her looking down in fear. A stinger is sticking out of her thumb and the bee is falling off her hand.

Her hands start to shake and sweat pops out on her brow as Castiel’s voice fades to background noise. She takes a shaky step forward as her heart races in terror as her chest starts to heave in exertion.

“Castiel…” Y/N shouts as her knees buckle and her airway starts to swell and close. She is clawing at her neck while trying to suck air into her lungs. Cas appears in her peripheral vision and his normally calm, lilting voice is panicked as he tries to help her by using his grace. He starts to cry as he realizes that he doesn’t have enough grace to heal her. Her vision starts to cloud from the lack of oxygen but she manages to grab Castiel’s hands and places them over her lips. She mouths “Don’t blame yourself. I love you” seconds before her airways close completely and she loses consciousness.  Less than a minute later, Castiel is holding her limp body as he cries into her hair.  She was only trying to cheer him up with his love of nature and now she’s gone.

After what seems like a short period of time to Castiel, he looks up from her body to see that night has fallen. He gently scoops her into his arms and makes the trek back to the bunker. For once, the night is silent as the tears fall from the Angel of Thursday onto the ground in a symphony of pain and rage. After walking for hours, cradling her body close to his chest like a precious package, Castiel arrives at the bunker doors just as the sun rises from the east, bathing the area in a golden light. As the light touches Y/N’s face, Castiel falls again to his knees and rages to the skies while screaming.

“WHY?! She should have been saved! Is this my punishment for Billie?! It should have been me! WHY?!” Castiel yells until his voice has gone hoarse from the combination of his scream and the constant stream of tears since she passed.

Dean and Sam can hear shouting from their rooms through the bunker wall and they rush up the stairs, guns at the ready. Sam opens the door carefully and Dean passes by him quietly. When he halts after two steps and drops his gun, Sam looks around Dean’s shoulder to spy Cas crying over Y/N’s body. Dean and Sam rush over to them and Cas looks up at the Winchester’s with tears in his eyes.

“She took me to a flower farm so I could be surrounded by nature and the bees. She was stung and I didn’t have enough grace to save her. She died trying to make me happy. Why her? Why did it have to be her? I was just beginning to believe in life and the Universe again and then this happened. What am I supposed to do without her now?” Dean and Sam look on in heartbreak as the sound of the angel’s cries carry into the stillness of the dawning day.

#castiel x reader #castiel #castiel fanfiction #castiel fan fiction #castiel fan fic #castiel fanfic #spn fic #spn fanfic #spn fan fic #spn fanfiction #spn fan fiction #supernatural fanfic #supernatural fan fic #supernatural fan fiction #supernatural fanfiction

[diaryofadepressed20somethinggirl]

4/15/2020

Hey this is my first post in this site, hopefully this will serve later as a reminder that I got through this and have achieved happiness. So I’ll start with some parameters about where I am at in life and how I’m feeling and maybe it can be a thing I do each anniversary if this even continues that long as I am notoriously bad at keeping up with diaries and journals. I do like to monologue to myself and into the void though so this might end up being productive.

Alright as of today I am 22, single, living with my mom on the west coast of the US.

Today is actually a friends birthday and because of the quarantine we’re currently under due to covid we decided to surprise her with a little drive by celebration and make her feel special. Now I met these friends through work and I’ve been friends with them for almost a year and a half. I love them I truly do they’re funny and so much fun to be around. I miss them constantly in the quarantine and working with them lets me be around them all the time. So while this was a really happy and special moment it made me really think about how things like this never get done for me. My birthday used to be my favorite thing about the fall. When you’re a kid you can’t wait to get older and experience new things. You strive for those big birthdays like finally turning double digits, finally being a teenager, sweet 16, being a legal adult, and finally being able to drink here. I used to think that birthdays were the greatest. It’s a day where things are all about you and you don’t have to share the spotlight and coming from a family with 6 kids, eventually 8, that was a nice feeling. This changed on my 9th birthday when we adopted my little sister and her birthday was the day before mine but 7 years apart. Now as you get older 7 years difference isn’t that big but when you’re younger it’s a crazy difference. My birthday was no longer just my day but it was often grouped together with my little sister, it was our day. Any celebration I wanted to have would also have to include my younger sister. This is not what one wants to hear when they’re in middle and high school trying to separate yourself from your family. It also didn’t help that I was trying to get more sofisticated and cool while all my little sister wanted to do was model after me. We also shared a room and had no boundaries put in place as to what was mine and what was hers causing a lot, and I mean a lot, of fights. I live my sister and realize that these fights and desire to be just like your older sister is normal and I wouldn’t trade her for the world but that doesn’t make the loss of identity and importance any easier to deal with. Big birthdays like double digits, becoming a teenager, and sweet 16 meant nothing anymore because they didn’t align with special birthdays for her too. Going out to the movies with just friends to celebrate was thrown out the window as she had to tag along. It wasn’t until my first year of college that birthdays seemed like they could be cool again. My best friend surprised me by decorating my car and getting me a sash to wear all day for my 18th birthday. He surprised me all day long and made me feel like it was truly all about me and not just another insignificant day. My 19th birthday was just as fun surrounded by our newfound friend group comprised of some friends I’d known since kindergarten and others that I knew for a couple of months through my best friend but all meshed together well to form a cute little family. The new year after my 19th led to a new relationship with one of the new friends in the group and a huge falling out with my dad and stepmom, as I was finally realizing the amount of emotional abuse they were performing, bolstered by the support of my friends and the promise of this new relationship I moved out of my parents house into my boyfriends moms. This was a very trying time for me and caused a lot of stress in this very fragile relationship and shattered that friendship, my best friend let me move into his family’s home temporarily. My best friend started to complain to our friends about me and strain our friendship and decided he didn’t want to rent an apartment together like we had planned and left me scrambling for a place to live and to salvage our friendship. I moved back to my abusive parents and he moved in with his boyfriend shortly after. I moved into an apartment with a couple from the friend group who were truly very kind and wonderful people. I became a bad friend. I constantly complained to my friends about other members of the friend group and that’s not what good friends do.

I felt so bad about myself constantly that I would post risque pictures of myself in order to get validation from people who liked my body. In order to take these pictures once I went into my roommates room and took them in her full length mirror. I then posted them on the internet in order to hopefully get attention. They found the pictures and had another friend ask me if it was their room. I affirmed it was and then said not to tell them. They confronted me the next day about it and I felt like I was tricked into looking worse than I was intending. Within this confrontation I apologized for not respecting their boundaries and that it wouldn’t happen again. They rightfully rejected my apology stating that I didn’t appear apologetic when it wasn’t them who brought it up. I was frustrated about the situation and my financial situation so I did what I did best and called my best friend to rant and he turned around and told them directly the things I told him in confidence about feeling like they were double charging me for that month. They kicked me out the next day, and I was officially homeless. I lived out of my car in the Midwest during fall. Halloween came and went and I had gone to a party with some old friends from high school in an effort to sleep somewhere other than my car for a night. Then my 20th birthday came and went without a word from my family or the little makeshift friend family that I had destroyed. I went to a concert with a guy I had never met in order to get my mind off of it. I cried that night as I couldn’t fall asleep because it was below 0 outside and I was freezing.

By the time my 21st birthday came around I had moved out to the west coast with my mom, i just started a new job that weekend and was dating a new guy. My mom and I didn’t really do anything special and I hadn’t really made any friends out here so it was just like any other day. My 22nd birthday came a couple months ago and I had actually made friends at work that I love being around and was still dating the guy I was for my last birthday but we were really unhappy. My mom had decided we were gonna drive out to the mountains for a weekend trip and do a sky tour at night. When the day comes I’m super excited but I don’t let it show really as I’m waiting to get texts from my friends wishing me a happy birthday but as the day goes on I get less and less excited as the only messages I have received is from the boyfriend that I was currently not speaking to. My mom and I end up heading back home before we can do the night tour because she’s not feeling well. Another birthday with no celebration or acknowledgement.

When I think about today and all the effort that went into surprising my friend and making sure she knew that we cared about her and was still thinking about her despite being under quarantine, I can’t help but think about whether or not anyone would do that for me. Like will my 23rd birthday pass by without so much as a well wish from my friends. I’ll just get slowly older and older and it won’t mean anything to anyone. If I cant even celebrate my birthday is there ever going to be a day in my life that I can celebrate appropriately?? My wedding?? Will any of them want to be in my wedding party or just be guests?? Am I doomed to never be close to someone again? Just constantly be the friend that isn’t as close as all of the other members are? I guess only time will tell but I’m sad and just want to show me that I’m not expendable.

#diary entry #trauma #tw emotional neglect #tw emotional trauma #tw emotional abuse #inner thoughts #identity #about me

[margoshansons]

The Killing Kind (14/17)

Part Fourteen

MASTERLIST

Summary: Y/N and Happy bond, MJ and Ned worry.

Warnings: Slight angst. Swearing. 

Notes: This is it y’all. The final few chapters. Wow, my heart is breaking. Also, sorry there’s not much Y/N x Peter, I wanted to give my characters the proper setup.

She sat snuggled into the co-pilot seat of the cockpit, her computer tucked into her lap, EDITH scanning for possible locations in London her father was scouting out. 

You’re exactly like me. 

What if it was true? What if she ended up exactly like him? Bitter and angry and crazy while going after people who screwed her over? She had already tried to do it with her dad. What was stopping her from doing it to others? They had the same temperament, the same skill set, the same genius brain that was severely underutilized. 

“You alright kid?” Happy asked interrupting her throng of thoughts.

Y/N shook herself out of her spiral, straightening up and facing the man who had saved them both. “Yeah, uh, I’m just uh, lost in thought I guess.”

Happy smirked, “Your dad used to do that a lot back in New York”

Great. More confirmation of her theory. 

“You uh, you knew my dad?” She asked, unsure if she wanted to know how he was before he got fired. 

Happy chuckled, “Babysat him was more like it. I swear, he gave me and Tony more trouble than the actual gods he thought he was like.”

Y/N chuckled at the thought of her dad being babysat like a five-year-old at recess. “That bad huh?”

Happy rolled his eyes, “Ugh, he was the worst. Kept going on and on about how he was going to be the next great superhero one day.”

“Yeah, that sounds like him” Y?N responded bitterly, remembering her own conversations about his ‘heroics’ around the dinner table. His endless rants about the state of the world. How people like Tony Stark got a free pass because they had tons of money while the hardworking scientists got pushed to the side. 

“You’re nothing like him” Happy murmured, meeting Y/N’s rueful gaze. “He was power-hungry and crazy and  thought he was a god.” 

Y/N played with her fingernails, tearing at the loose skin. Happy grasped the girl’s hand, a gesture of assurance. “You’re better. You care about people. You’re nothing like your father.”

Y/N sighed, relief flooding through her system as newly formed tears trailed down her cheeks. 

“Besides, I don’t think your father was ever capable of loving someone the way you do” Happy continued, motioning toward Peter. 

“I don’t, um, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Y/N denied, not ready to say those words aloud.

“Oh please,” Happy scoffed, “It’s so obvious, I don’t know how he doesn’t see it.”

“He’s an idiot that’s how” Y/N scoffed, blushing at the indirect confirmation.

Happy tilted his head in a knowing gesture. “You’re not wrong”

The two chuckled at their agreement surrounding the spiderling. With all the book smarts in the world, not even Peter Parker could figure out how much Y/N truly cared about him.

“You know he still hasn’t figured out that me and his aunt are dating?” Happy bragged, not realizing what Y/N would do with that information.

“You and May?” She asked, laughter bursting from her. “I can’t believe it!”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Happy leaned back, offended by her insinuation.Y/N saw the blush in his cheeks, the shifting in his seat. She knew those symptoms better than anyone.

“You’re in love with her!” She realized, a smile crossing her face. “Oh my god, you’re in love with Peter’s Aunt!”

“What’d you’d say?!” Peter yelled from the back of the lab, unaware of what was happening at the front of the plane. 

“Nothing!” Happy yelled back, sighing in relief as he met the playful look Y/N was throwing at him. “Don’t you dare.”

“I wasn’t gonna say anything” Y/N smirked, popping her feet on the dashboard of the jet. 

“Have you found anything on Beck yet?” Peter asked, putting some of the finishing touches on his suit.

Y/N turned around to face him, butterflies bursting in her chest as she laid eyes on the boy she loved. “Yeah, he’s in London, and it looks like he just purchased several tickets for an airplane out of Heathrow and a bus tour hours before that.”

“He's gonna trap them” Peter realized. Y/N stood up, grasping his shoulders in earnest. 

“You have to keep focusing” she urged, pointing toward the lab, “Your suit is not going to make itself. I’ll handle my dad.”

Peter nodded, knowing he had very little time before they landed near Heathrow. Y/N sat back down, grabbing her computer and accessing EDITH once more. 

“Hello Y/N” the voice assistant replied. 

Hello Edith, she typed between bits of code.

I need you to disable the weapons system 

“For how long?”

Y/N huffed. Of course, her dad would install a failsafe. Of course, he would put a time limit on disabling the weapons system.

She typed an arbitrary number, hoping it was long enough to buy them some time.

***

MJ was tired of the constant switching of buses and airports. First, it was Prague, and now it was Heathrow. She knew it had something to do with that weird code Y/N had downloaded earlier, but right now all she wanted to do was take a long nap and forget about the science trip that had ended up being more eventful than she had planned. 

“Is no one going to acknowledge how crazy this is?” Brad piped up from behind the group.

“I agree” The other chaperone moved forward, “There has been nothing sciencey about this science trip”

MJ nodded, sharing a shrug with Ned. 

“No no I’m talking about Peter and Y/N” Brad continued. “Has no one else noticed how shady they are? I mean I saw Peter in the bathroom with a much older woman, while Y/N was not far behind, and they're always sneaking away like Venice? And the night at the opera? And now they’re j-just off the trip?” He narrowed his eyes, tilting his head in frustration, “With their families? I mean is no one interested in finding out the truth?”

MJ lifted her finger, silencing Ned’s worried expression as she moved to defend her best friend and current crush from the idiot that had been trying to get in her pants all vacation.

“Well, since Peter and Y/N are not here to tell their truth” She moved against Brad in a move Y/N would be proud of. “What about you? Brad? Why do you think it's cool to take pictures of people in the bathroom? And spy on girls who have no interest in you?”

An unlikely source came to her in support, “yeah dude” Flash jumped in, live streaming the whole thing, “What’s that about?”

Brad stuttered out a small defense, “No, no, no, no, no it wasn’t like that--”

Thankfully they were spared his dumb apology by an even dumber interruption by Mr. Harrington, the teacher who hated this bullshit and just wanted to have a good time in Europe. MJ shot an insincere look toward the unblipped kid before following the rest of the class out toward their tour bus. 

The guy looked shady as hell and she had seen enough true crime documentaries to know that white guys with hair that maintained were never good people. She fingered the USB in her pocket, hoping Y/N would show up like she promised. She hadn’t texted her at all, and it made MJ’s heart pound. 

As their bus pulled onto a traffic-heavy bridge, all she could do was stand next to Ned, eyes scanning the foggy horizon warily, looking for any sign of her best friend in blue. 

“I don’t like this” MJ confessed to the shorter kid, “I feel like something bad is about to happen”

“You’re an FOS now” Ned tried comforting her, “Friend of Spiderman” 

MJ internally rolled her eyes at the acronym. 

“That means, stay calm” Ned continued, allowing MJ to take a deep breath.

She tried to follow Y/N’s advice. 

Breath in for five. Hold for six. Breath out seven.

The storm clouds were gathering and the sound of thunder pulled her out of her ritual. Even though she knew it was fake, the fear was real.

“That doesn’t look good”

“It’s fake” Ned confirmed, “It can’t hurt us right?”

MJ nodded, biting her lip in a moment of anxiety. She wanted more than anything to tug on her curls, the old habit soothing. But she forced herself to stare straight at it, ready for Peter and Y/N to waltz in and save the day at any time. Her hand stayed firmly on the USB in her pocket.

Oops, dropped it a bit early folks haha. Thank you all so much for the feedback and please like, comment, and reblog!

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