#can't just go and say “it's the neurodivergence”

[dangans-ur-ronpas]

saw ur vents abt dungeon meishi and while I haven’t read the series yet or watched the anime I have seen bits and pieces and already saw the blowup scene where Toshiro attacks Laois and like. even I with zero context didn’t totally hate him. It sucks majorly that it had to happen but like. Toshiro is going through his own shit and plenty of other characters ALSO don’t like Laois! I think people just see that scene and project the amount of times that’s happened to them with someone in real life, which like. I get it. I’m autistic and reading that scene hit like a gut punch bc it was something I had experienced directly in real life: trying to be friends with someone, thinking you are friends, only for them to reveal one day that they couldn’t stand you and hated your guts from day one. You wonder why the fuck they pretended and let you hurt even worse than outright initial rejection. You wonder why they’d put themselves through enduring you. It makes you feel like you can’t trust anyone, makes you feel like utter shit. I 100% get why it bothers people. But you can’t project real life people you experienced onto this character that does not align at all except for this one moment. Also knowing about the author, she probably put that in on purpose as commentary for how autistics in Japan generally have to go through shit like this bc of the way their social culture is. She’s made plenty of autistic commentaries before, I doubt she stuck that scene in there for no good reason. The fact that Toshiro kept quiet and didn’t say anything until he couldn’t take it anymore is VERY indicative to me of the ways Japan’s typical social system is a struggle on all sides. Not to say these are problems unique to Japan, but the nuance needs to be understood. Toshiro isn’t being a dick just for the sake of it. I want to read it sometime so I can better understand the guy, but I don’t want to hate him based on one scene where he was an asshole. Laois is an asshole plenty of times himself, being very overtly written as autistic doesn’t absolve him from the responsibilities of being an adult.

TLDR: People tend to infantilize Laois and demonize Toshiro, which comes down to the prejudices preconceived for both of them: people see Laois, as an autistic man, as an innocent sweet guy who needs to be protected. They see Toshiro, as an Asian man, as someone who should be “polite and honorable” or whatever and are appalled when he acts like a fallible human being and not some appropriation of a fictional romanticized samurai. I understand feeling betrayed and angry seeing a character be a genuine asshole about something (social expectation does not completely absolve Toshiro of his own antagonizations however much of a reason he had) but when it’s so damn one sided, and especially in a series where almost NO one is without complete asshole qualities that round them out, I find it kind of gross that people hate on him for that. Anyway. Just wanted to send a message of support and understanding. Hopefully after I read more I can offer more analysis to corroborate with you on.

100% CORRECT thank you anon

i also understand the people who are sympathizing with laios bc that scene is very easy to relate to for many autistic or otherwise neurodivergent people (i also got a cold sweat when i was watching it bc. like. having someone you thought was a friend straight up tell you there are parts of your behavior that they can't stand is one of the worst things to experience of all time, ESPECIALLY if you were only showing that behavior around them bc you thought they were your friend and you trusted them) but it's so frustrating seeing so many people have such shallow opinions about toshiro bc of it. im on hands and knees begging people to consider the characters in three dimensions and/or develop better reading comprehension because like!! toshiro's official meeting with laios's new group literally leads with 'oh his name is actually toshiro and we never knew bc our leader had a misunderstanding and microaggressed him and he was too polite to correct him' laios is not an innocent party here!! he is not an innocent uwu autistic baby he's a grown adult man with responsibilities, in that whole time he was partied with toshiro he never learned his real name!! plus using toshiro's crush on falin as a reason to hate him, falin's adolescence was spent in a school and a social setting where she was expected to mask + her being a girl also means she is expected to mask by default -> she is better at masking than laios so why are people saying that toshiro hates laios for the same traits in falin bc clearly not?? also saw one person saying 'he only likes falin because she's hot' NO HE DOES NOT HE WOULD NOT RISK HIS LIFE HEALTH AND RETAINERS IN A DUNGEON ON A FOREIGN CONTINENT FOR THE SAKE OF A WOMAN HE ONLY THOUGHT WAS SEXY!!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DUNMESHI FANS THINK WITH YOUR BRAAIN

the whole fight he had with laios where laios points out that their party is more serious about finding falin and resolving everything also drives me nuts because i've seen at least one take saying that toshiro doesn't care about falin as much as team laios because of this. which yes the fact that team laios understands the importance of health in pursuit of a goal is very very important but for many cases in east asian culture (and actually any culture with emphasis on capitalism and economic growth) productivity will get valued above all else which leads to neglect of personal health, i.e: what toshiro was doing. so this is just a clown take to begin with

also interesting to me that almost every character in dunmeshi thus far has demonstrated some kind of racial bias/misconceptions (i.e: chilchuck about elves, senshi about half-foots, etcetera etcetera) and laios and falin are no exception. race and racial differences and conflict and coexistence is also one of the underlying themes in dungeon meshi, with the elves of the west being considered a major issue to many dungeon-goers and the mayor hating dwarves and having to contend with those elves, and then marcille's motive for studying black magic and even thistle's motive for being the dungeon keeper. so it's real fucking ironic that the fans are really quick and happy to demote toshiro to 'asshole side character who is bullying our autistic rep' instead of, you know, using nuance and thinking about it

tldr; dungeon meshi has great commentary on what it's like as an autistic person in society. but dungeon meshi fans are too quick to write off toshiro as an asshole japanese guy who is ableist and getting in the way of their white woman yuri, therefore helping to promote this website's enduring legacy as the piss-poor reading comprehension website

#dungeon meshi #asks #i thought this might happen when i heard dunmeshi was getting an anime adaptation but that doesnt make me feel better abt being right #i watched the ep last night with some friends and one of the first things out of their mouth during the laios-toshiro fight was 'i hate him #and i get it bc both of us had bad experiences being neurodivergent in a shitty american suburbia town #but also like. damn girl!! already???

[cleverthylacine]

Ship and HC what you want--but I hate Ravage & Soundwave parent-child headcanons so much. I'm finally gonna say it. They can be adult best friends rather than lovers, but the family thing makes my skin crawl. Here's why.

The following is just my personal opinion. Everyone who reads this is free to engage with it, but I don't want to fight about it, and I am not trying to make anyone give up their headcanons, whether those are romantic, sexy, familial, or just friendly.

(The Ravage I write in my fics and RP, like ES Ravage, prefers she/her pronouns. I am aware that Ravage uses he/him in other continuities.)

I am really freaking uncomfortable with most of the common familial headcanons about Soundwave and Ravage, Soundwave and his cassettes in general, and the whole cassette thing. And I will also die screaming before I tag erotic content between two fully sapient beings as "bestiality".

I would rather think of Ravage and Soundwave as bonded lovers (and the birds as her siblings) then think of Soundwave as either of the following:

An Abusive Father who sends his own children directly into the heat of battle out to fight as child soldiers; or

A Large Adult Son who allows his parent and her siblings to be mutilated so he can drag her off into places like mining colonies and war zones, where she ministers to his emotional needs while also fighting for him in the heat of battle, and has no life or relationships of her own.

Because no matter how many cat memes you draw, neither of those things is cute. You have the right to ship whatever you want to ship same as me, but I don't want to read either dynamic.

He is NOT the single father of the year if he's yeeting his children onto battlefields.

He is NOT a good son if his mother is telepathically linked to him, programmed so that he can yeet her out into battlefields in less than a second, and unable to have any romantic or QP partnerships of her own.

If he is her lover (conjunx) or her QPP (amica), and the meeting they had in Rodion was a meeting of two neurodivergent adults who learned how to help and support each other in dealing with their disabilities, and they both want to be together even in the depths of hell, then they have a much less horrific and unhealthy relationship.

I was once made to play IDW Ravage as not Soundwave's partner in a dreamwidth game because they didn't like the ship, and she was a miserable, unhappy person who had given up her entire life to serve Soundwave and Megatron.

This really solidified my feelings about not just why I think their relationship is romantic and adorable, but also why I think a parental relationship between them, going in either direction, is incredibly fucking gross.

Making them mutually interdependent neurodiverse adults with complementary support needs, who love each other in a mature way or even an 'adult' way changes the narrative.

If Ravage is Soundwave's life partner, then the forced cassettification has imposed a power differential on them, but it is significantly lessened by the fact that they were already together and interacting as grown-ass adults who loved each other before that took place.

In other scenarios, she's being thrown by her father up against mechs 4 times her size, OR she's a devoted parent who has been emotionally enslaved by cassettification and can't even have an adult relationship of her own because who the hell is going to want to be her partner knowing that she has an unbreakable telepathic link with her son? And you can't really say she's trading this emotional labour for protection when he's yeeting her out into the front lines every third episode.

IDK, I think glorifiying parents who send their children to war and enmeshed parenting that renders someone an appendage to their child is a lot less problematic than letting them meet as adults and learn how to help one another.

Every time I see someone draw humanformer Soundwave and Ravage as a collared pet, I want to scream, but I don't, because everyone has the right to write and draw what makes them happy.

My friends know NOT to send me links to art that diminishes Ravage.

Ravage may look like a cat, but she passes the Harkness test, and her entire arc in IDW was about getting people to respect her as an equal despite the thing where she looks like a cat.

Her brain and spark are equal to that of any other Cybertronian. It's not bestiality. There's no reason a telepath would care more about the shape of her body than the feel of her mind.

I would rather think that she's getting love and respect and hot overloads from Soundwave than think that she's selflessly devoted to him and to Megatron for all of her days until Tarn locks her into that fucking refrigerator. Or think that she's a child soldier.

#ravage/soundwave #ravage & soundwave #suck on this antis #ship manifesto #ravage #tf ravage

[nell0-0]

Too tired to draw, what is this curse. I wanna draw so badly but can't even focus on the screen, augh

#talk tag #rant #i guess? #i feel super bad about complaining in here #but where else would I go with it #I just got a stressful job and keep messing up #not the job itself. but relationships with coworkers #it's so stressful bc I don't wanna come across as mean #it's just my face/voice when I'm not constantly making sure it's soft and nice #I don't wanna be mean #can't just go and say “it's the neurodivergence” #since I don't even know wtf is wrong with me #<- afraid of therapists #bc if I go to even one therapists and disregards my struggles I may just cry. and impostor syndrome again #rambling in the tags #will delete this later #i just needed to get this out #I also keep infodumping to clients and not sure how that's gonna fly with the bosses #...probably not well #english is hard today wtf #tw vent

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

excuse me i need to Muse on something for a moment

so in Wally's secret 'vinyl' audios, specifically the last few (if we're listening to em in chronological order), obviously he starts to sound more strained/distressed. his breathing is more labored, like it's taking all of his energy to make contact.

but the audio that really caught my attention was the "But i still can't see" one. cause he just said he has more eyes than he did before. he knows We draw them a lot, and it's thanks to that that he can see. but he still can't see?

so my question is: where is Wally physically? cause although he can (assumedly) see the WHRP goings on, he can see through the eyes We draw, that could all be on a, uh... more Intangible level of sight. like the spiral pit is forming an eye, and then there's the eye on the ceiling in the secret Staff Only section - could Wally be in the pit, that space between his reality and Ours, "watching" through the eyes? but unable to actually see with due to the pit being pitch black nothingness? is he somewhere else? is he stuck? he can see, but he can't... see.

(or is he trying to explain an abstract concept - he's not actually viewing anything, but he can sense it. like how he knows We're there, even if he can't see or hear Us. but he just doesn't have the words to describe it other than using physical senses - see, hear, look.)

and him saying "...that I can see. But it is still... I can't..." but it's still what, Wally? dark? something else that he doesn't have the words to describe, so he just says that he can't see?

i know that in the Livestream Trivia Document (compiled by @/the neighborhoodwatch) there was something said about Wally being in a box. my first thought reading that was "oh, so he's in storage? the physical puppet, i mean?" which would make sense - show's over, there's no more use for him. pack 'em up and put him away. but that paired with the "can't see" audio makes both seem a lil... connected.

Wally can't see > he's likely somewhere dark > the inside of closed boxes are dark > Wally's in a box. (or maybe the Neighborhood is the box? it's a stretch, i know, but the map is a box. television sets are often set up in "boxes". maybe it's less of a physical storage box and more of a 'boxed in' sort of thing...)

one question i've had since the Start of my interest in this incredible project is: how is Wally communicating? how has he connected to the site? how does he connect to our reality? the pit almost definitely has something to do with it - most likely acting as a bridge, or the deteriorating of the barrier between our two 'worlds' - but if Wally is in a box and Not the pit or even just in the puppet's reality... how is he reaching us beyond just seeing through the eyes he's given?

or is he in their reality, and he can contact through the pit or something, but he can't actually see the other side? Our side? he knows it's there - that We're there - but none of it is visible to him. maybe his apparent disassociation in the 14 bug audios is a demonstration of him contacting Us. we can see through him, but it's a one way street.

and speaking of the pit - i just had a thought. his whole thing with Us letting him in, opening... the pit on the neighborhood map is getting bigger and clearer. but the presumed Other Side, the one on the Staff Only ceiling, is small. it's the size of a ceiling panel. it seems to me that Wally is chipping away at his side of the pit or 'portal', trying to reach Our reality, but he needs Us to do the same thing on the other side. the QA can hear him calling, but there's no phone on their (Our) side of the pit. how do We call back???

there's a fundamental barrier & lack of understanding between Wally and the QA/Us. he's trying. he wants to be let in, but what does that mean, really? let him in where? open what? he's desperate. he wants us to understand. he's trying so so hard Without the right tools to clearly communicate what he wants. he can't see Us, We can see him, both know the other is there, but there's no way to connect. and the attempts are hurting all parties involved, however unintentionally

#and its very ah. Autistic/Neurodivergent Horror i think? #the Wanting To Explain but Being Unable To because the people you're trying to communicate with #function differently than you. they don't understand. they Can't understand. their brains are wired differently. #no matter how hard you try there will never be understanding. your attempts to connect are somehow Incorrect. #and often - in my experiences at least - being that Different gets you hurt. people perceive your actions/behavior as a slight. #or as intentionally malicious! and then they get mad and you just.. dont get Why? you didn't Want to hurt anyone. you wanted to Explain. #you wanted someone to look at you and Understand. say 'oh. i see you! i get it now!' and have that Connection. #but you will never be understood. never Seen nor Heard. left in the dark. you're accidentally hurting them. they're hurting you. #it takes all of your strength to try to reach them and yet you still. fall. short. because they don't reach back. #anyway ive had these thoughts simmering for a lil while #Knowing whether or not the bug audios are present day or not would cross some theories off and write up new ones i think #that confirmation seems Important imo.... #homebogging #welcome home speculation #welcome home theory #then of course there's the question of how Home fits into all of this... in the early days i was a 'home is evil' believer but now?? #nah. home's not outright Evil i think. there's something complicated going on between them and wally and its role in all of this #im just... unsure of what. i think confirmation of whether his morse code says 'help me' or 'hello' would massively help clear up the sitch #is home an accomplice? a victim? a perpetrator? a secret fourth option? who's to say (yet) #i have many Thoughts about it based on a couple different things - the distorted voice under wallys. the waLLy guestbook entry. etc #but this post has gotten long enough and its Not on that particular subject #*grips the bug audios & home's morse code* you two motherfuckers would clear so much up i stg- #the bug audio's timeline placement could tell us whether or not wally is with his neighbors or if the neighborhood is intact (in some way!) #home's morse code would give Major insight into their place in all of this!!! #AGH THIS FUCKING PROJECT MAKES ME INSANE. IT'S SO GODDAMN GOOD WHO AUTHORIZED THIS- #as always take my words with a Hefty grain of salt & i hope it's coherent! #anyway there's nothing more dangerous & all-consuming than the need/desire to be understood <3

[dennisboobs]

my favourite thing about the always sunny podcast is listening to rcg all say something extremely neurodivergent and then agree amongst themselves and convince themselves its completely normal

#and to be clear im not diagnosing them charlie said he wasn't neurotypical #like deadass i think. the reason some of their writers just completely botch the gang's motivations/dialogue sometimes is bc at their core #these characters are all. SO autistic. which inevitably leads to them being misunderstood by others outside their group #whether rcg realizes it or not they inject this very specific vibe of neurodivergence into the gang #and its why they will just. argue over inconsequential details bc they Need to be understood completely #they can't just drop it unless they are crystal fucking clear #imo the biggest mistake other writers make is thinking that the gang is completely desensitized when its more like #they just don't react the way you would expect #which is often... adjacent to that but still distinct. and its trauma that influences this as well #the gang does not believe they themselves are 'bad people'. theyre most often oblivious to the fact that the things they do are insane #rob saying he doesnt pick up on social cues and then going on to argue in circles with glenn #i dont think last week was anything crazy but i think. rob doesn't know when to let up. which is a problem that *i* have #and while it comes across as being confrontational in an 'im right youre wrong' way i dont think its driven by ego here #just like with how as they said mac and dennis are making up while chucking bread rolls at each other #on both sides its frustration at being misunderstood #but they are all similar enough that even if they disagree over small details theyre usually on the same page. and this can be beneficial!! #thats the conclusion of the ep!!!! whether its suggesting smoking to cancel out the toxic apple skin or suggesting words u cant think of #glenn said he was upset about feeling misrepresented and picked on #dennis gets angry for those exact reasons in.... ALL of his big rage scenes #its frustration that leads to anger because youre speaking to (another) brick wall and you can't adequately explain yourself #which. glenn is clearly more competent than dennis & i think a lot of the time in sunny the gang is WAY more obtuse for the sake of comedy #but its interesting to watch the dynamic because as charlie said last week #they are mac and dennis (especially when theyre fighting) #i just think.. they are in a semi-unique position to understand this because this is how they are. while several other writers do not get i #ada speaks #untagged

[citrine-elephant]

there is nothing strictly heterosexual about the way leon looks at other men, i swear

#resident evil #imagine if a line was added along the lines of #'chris is hot and all but ada' #i saw that one image of leon looking at patrick from infinite darkness and #look i'll still headcanon leon as being extremely bad at socializing either due to neurodivergency or him suffering massive trauma #as a fresh adult #flirting with mfers and not understanding why cuz he's no good with social cues #unintentionally #but i know long time fans gotta think the same thing #leon kennedy is hot as fuck and every gender across the board wants to bang him right #if my guy was a lil bi it'd be dope yknow idk #he can still be loyal to ada and casually admit men are hot yknow #yknow im just saying #dedicates his life to one woman doesn't mean he can't have a lil crush on christopher redfield #the fans have valid reasons to smack their lil dolls of leon and chris together to make em kiss #but i mean if anyone's got a strong theory of being gay it is chris hell yeah #chris = gay 100 #leon = 'straight' but someone didn't measure properly cuz that line is a bit fucked up #which is to say maybe bi cuz it feels like he's mostly into women but got a way he looks at guys sometimes yknow... yknow #i need to go take a nap man

[ipusingularitae]

my dad: *telling me i do have socialization deficits, that i need to step out more and interact with people and look like i am part of the environment and that i am "there" and present*

me, knowing damn well i have socialization deficits and feeling overwhelmed in social situations, especially when I don't feel like i fit and when I don't know the other people: ... okay

my dad: did you get upset with me telling you this?

me, dissociating so I don't start crying in front of him: ... no

#like it's not that I think he shouldn't have told me that #because unless he tells me i have no idea what he's thinking and I'll just go about doing my stuff #but it's kinda upsetting to know that on those situations that I'm feeling like shit and wanting to cry #and that i just start using reading as a way to feel better on the situation #I'm actually looking like j don't wanna be there at all and that I'm in a bad mood #like- i am not. I'm just so overwhelmed that I can't think straight so i need to use this to regulate #maybe if i start using a sign saying “I'm not upset if you wanna talk just start the conversation” things might work #idk it's frustrating bc it's not that I don't wanna interact at all it's just so fucking hard #and i feel like ppl knowing that you're neurodivergent means that they can isolate you instead of just looking for better ways to interact #this is so fucked up #like yeah i can make an effort and mask as i do all the fucking time #but at the same time i know that the main reason i do this is bc ppl also don't wanna look for other interaction options #anyway that was a big rant #autism #actually autistic #autistic #neurodivergent #personal #life stuff

[wanderingmind867]

I woke up at 4 am today. Now I'm sitting downstairs listening to Christmas music. I don't know why I slept so badly, but I'm going to blame it on the clocks going back an hour today. Daylight Savings Time is a stupid invention. You get used to one type of time, then they change it on you halfway through the year. It's annoying.

#my thoughts #random thoughts #daylight savings #tired #I woke up early #so I'm just going to blame the time change #whether that's true or not I can't say #autism #asd #neurodivergent #adhd

[dolokhoded]

"judas and peter both denied christ but judas couldn't face it while peter repented" shut the fuck upppp peter wasn't in a similar vulnerable psychological state should we throw a party should we invite god what did he even do after christ anyways he teamed up with paul. one would argue that's worse than betraying jesus

#im not religious just insane.jpg #fuckin. paul you can't tell me that's a greater sin than suicide #you can't convince me suicide is a sin in the first place but. paul . #my best friend believes paul is the antichrist. i wouldn't go that far but i will ignore paul and everyone associated with him #maybe not peter peter's kind of crucial. i am not mad just disappointed !!! #paul... be serious. #literally every time we find out me and my best friend talk about the new testament a lot you should probably know that. #we're both agnostic. #we're just neurodivergent. #every time one of us goes 'i have literally never seen jesus say something that implies xyz shitty thing should be excused HOW did they eve #come to this conclusion WHEN did jesus say that' #IT ALL TRAILS BACK TO PAUL . #IT'S ALMOST ALWAYS PAUL LIKE LITERALLY 99% OF THE TIME. #new testament wise. the old testament was just fucked up like that.

[wachi-delectrico]

Gonna get spicy for a second and say that everyone loves spewing hate about narcissistic (NPD) parents and how awful parents with personality disorders are, but if someone were to make a post with the exact same cadence about ADHD parents they'd get shot in public at first sight

#rambling #Lemme clarify and extend my point here (cos I feel ppl could really misinterpret this one) #Am I saying people should just accept the abuse of parents if said parents have a personality disorder? No #Am I saying people with ADHD parents have it worse or that both experiences are comparable and exactly the same? No #What I'm saying is that ppl are much more eager to call out abusive or neglectful behaviour from ppl w personality disorders bc #they're seen as 'scary' or 'monstrous' and inherently evil so they have no qualms going full force at it. They think -pd ppl are the devil #But adhd in ppl's general views could never be the source of such pain from a parent to a child; ADHD ppl are seen as childish #and harmless and clueless and silly and tbh a bit stupid. Besides they could never hurt a 'monster' by jumping the gun at -pd ppl right? #'normal people don't have personality disorders so this can't affect me! But normal people can have adhd!' #That's the core of my complaint: one is dehumanised as a destructive monster; the other is as an innocent victim child #And both (parent w -pd & w adhd) can be pretty bad in their own uniqie ways! But such a thing is never considered - for the #societal construct of the child - that neurodivergencies get pushed into - is of an untainted pure inherently clueless being below human #From my exp and the exp of other friends lemme say: having an adhd parent can suck so much ass! Lol #I grew up with two opposing ideals troubling my mind: my mothers obvious overwhelming love; and the shadow her constant absence cast #She loved me so much and did as much as she could; but constantly forgot about my care and my needs and made rash choices #I think about that more and more as i age; especially as i go to doctors over and over for problems i have had since forever #It is an awful feeling to have sink in your heart: how a parent's love isn't enough; how 'maturing quick' isn't a blessing but a curse #As i grew i stopped telling my mom about my needs my school things and my life bc i got used to her forgetfulness and lack of organisation #It meant irregular eating schedules & inadequate meals. In 5th grade I'd eat table scraps at school cos my mom couldn't remember #how I'd tell her over and over that the food had to be in a specific way or it'd get burnt in the school's oven #I'd go to the 'first' dr appointment to deal w an ongoing problem & then she'd forget to schedule the following ones #You get the idea #Kind of a weird post w a strange framing device but I've been thinking about it a lot lately. Smth triggered this thought last night #I'll also never forget a few months ago when i went go a specialist for my hEDS - told her I've known all my life but never got treatment #Also just. The crushing feeling of the dr saying ''you should've gotten your own med team to work ur case since u were young!' #And just. silently nodding & wanting to cry feeling validated but also so hurt looking @ the obvious neglect #Anyways hey how did this therapy session go Doctor

[tastymarbar]

Kenji seems like the type of guy who would ask p3-kun to practice kiss with him. you know like, no homo and all that. just two dudes kissing for "practice".

#mar talks #kenji tomochika #persona 3 #''hey dude you wanna practice kiss with me? not in like a gay way just for like... our future girlfriends y'know?'' #''...uh huh sure'' #p3-kun goes with a lot of bs in some of his SL he probably would go with this too #plot twist its all well and good until kenji realises he actually like kissing p3-kun #and suddenly it's not so no homo kissing practice with his bestie #and now he's feeling weird and oh god he can't possibly let p3-kun know this #except spoiler alert kenji is not subtle(tm) and p3-kun knew this whole time lmao #after ages kenji confesses what he's been feeling and p3-kun just bluntly states ''yeah i already knew that'x #and after a long time kenji finally confesses and p3-kun just goes ''yeah i already knew that ur not subtle dude'' #and kenji just stares at him flabbergasted bc tf you mean you knew this whole time?? and didn't say anything??? #(more spoiler alert p3-kun liked it to but he was too neurodivergent to say anything) #(they totally just sat there for like 10 minutes looking at the floor bc wtf do you even say after that) #whoops I'm gonna write a whole ass fic in the tags at this point #I'd actually write that but im not that great at writting orz #also hi if you read all that i hope you have a nice day :D

[professionalowl]

not reblogging the post because i know it's a flawed test (and infuriatingly poorly worded to wit) but the RAADS-R autism test is going around again and i got an 87, which is i think what i got the last time i took it and also tracks - i'm personally pretty certain that i'm not autistic, but (autistic) friends of mine have historically been split on the issue because apparently i 'act' like an autistic person and they're often surprised when i say i'm actually not

#my *closest* friends tend to think i'm not but - to quote one guy - '[i'm] very smart and smart ppl tend to have traits that overlap' #which is an interesting assessment (he's autistic tb clear) and i think i know where it's coming from #i'm very direct with comments; i often have trouble with empathy; i'm clever (or y'know 'clever' for a given value of the word); #i don't feel emotions particularly strongly - or immediately - and this comes across in my speech #which i've been told can come off as detached/disaffected/uncaring even when it's not trying to be; #i'm apparently quite difficult to read sometimes? or come off as intimidating per neutral expression; #uh. one time an english teacher told me that i'd taught her to 'think more logically' whatever the fuck that means; #these are i think stereotypical autistic 'smart guy' traits which do not actually map on to the majority of autistic people afaik #at least not as a package or all expressed the same way - but in this case i think it's a category error #interesting food for thought nonetheless. i spend some time thinking about it because people do ask me occasionally #and the general autistic mileu of tumblr.com has actually helped me be nicer to myself about those traits #(as well as check myself abt other people; i'm not going to pretend to be some kind of saintly autistic whisperer or w/e) #considered going back and taking the test with the 'most generous' and then the 'least generous' answers and comparing them #but i can't be bothered. add a button for 'in specific situations' or die by my hand #i WILL say that some of said autistic friends who were surprised to find out i wasn't #expressly thought i WAS because they drew a correlation between their behaviour and my own #so it's not just 'people are misreading me because of stereotypes about how autistic people act' although i do think that can be an element #let me know if this post is weird or w/e it is literally just speculating on myself and how people perceive me #as a consequence of tending to occupy circles otherwise occupied largely by neurodivergent people #('fandom' and 'archaeology and anthropology')

[nthflower]

Tumblr is always like social norms are evil and stupid and hurt people that doesn't fit in (which is extremely true and I say this all the time too)

But the moment someone do something here stupid everybody is like turn into hive mind and bully them.(not racism or bigoted stuff like terfs idk I am talking about just weird things)

Like people preach be yourself, current social norms are fucked up then mock you for not following Tumblr culture or whatever.

#people who make angry posts to other users about tumblr etiquette etc. #like how dare you spam liking my blog how can you not know this is wrong why are you not thinking #or how dare you asking them something because you cared you clowns go learn unwritten tumblr interaction etiquette rules #we love people who dont understand social norms easily tho 😌 #ughhhhh i am angry #and this is not about me btw all my interactions in Tumblr was amazing following and follower #but some other post that u saw #like yeah they are annoying maybe why are you mocking or smugly mean about it just teach them whats wrong #like its my neurodivergency i know but i genuinely can't see sometimes not wrong i only can find patterns but not explain them #and if you tell me instead of mocking whats wrong here i can then see my problem and just fix it and also it would be amazing for me too #i would also develop as a person #this is my strategy irl tbh first i explain someone what's makes me feel wrong and bad about their thing #then if they don't understand after a while and its hurting me i just then be angry to them and say okay this persom is stupid/annoying #anyways i just especially after starting therapy stopped judging people even when how much weird weird they are #i cant know without asking and i can be same too #rant #long long tags #i should learn telepathy so much i want telepathy its only communication way that would satisfy me

[myersesque]

damn . internalised ableism got hands

#and in disability pride month too! disgraceful #anyway i can't shake the feeling that i'm a fucking disappointment #i can't cope with. anything #and i know it's. neurodivergence and physical disability and my Ever Concerning untreated mental illness lmao but #i just feel like. a failure. how am i supposed to cope with actually doing the job i love so much if i can't even get through- #-the leadup? #i can't physically keep up. i can't mentally keep up. i can't emotionally keep up #but if i say that it feels like quitting #even though i'm barely contributing anyway. most people there won't give a fuck if i never turn up again. i hardly know the blocking anyway #it's 6am and i can't sleep #my knees r throbbing n my brain is screaming and all i can think is how much of a disappointment i am #and how pathetic i must look from the outside. how much people must judge me and my fucking dramatics #because normal people don't have fucking breakdowns over the tone of their texts. #and normal people don't stay awake until dawn bc they can't sleep until the sun rises. #and normal people don't feel like they're walking on fucking shattered glass every time they go outside #i just want to curl up into a ball and scream #why can't i just pause the world. why can't i leave this whole fucking thing and come back when i'm ready to keep going #god. fuck #i need to sleep but it's rlly hard when my knee hurts every time i move #og #vent #internalised ableism tw

[jonathanbiers]

dumb ramble post of literally no importance

#so i'm starting my new job on monday right and it's work from home and they send all the required equipment to you which is cool or w/e #but like based on what i read from the release form i thought they were sending me a laptop. they sent me a whole ass pc #liiike my desk isn't small but i have to rearrange everything and move some stuff and i'm a huge 'everything goes in the same place' person #so this is going to throw me off big time #[neurodivergent agony] #i would literally rather just buy a second desk but i can't afford to bc my current job slashed hours so bad that's. why i'm leaving hgjfdk #shut up larsen #it's okay i can do change i can handle it #(i say to myself‚ lying)

[neverendingford]

.

#hmmmm. the game night was very underwhelming. I committed to playing Catan and then other people showed up and played smash bros #and ngl I kinda wanted to just throw in my cards and play smash bros instead #got called 'he' IMMEDIATELY by some dude so that was hmm and then someone noticed and was like 'let's all say our pronouns #and several dudes were visibly uncomfortable about saying pronouns and made jokes about it and were deliberately obtuse #so honestly pretty meh vibes overall. I really don't want to make a neckbeard gamer bro stereotype but ummmm. sorry those were the vibes #anyway not for me I think #also there was zero chaos energy at all. I need manic energy to feed off of #I did my best to sow a bit of chaotic fun and no one played off it either. #honestly just very boring. I lowkey shoulda stayed home #I learned what app people use to coordinate groups though. so I guess I'll look at that now. maybe find some other groups #the city I live is really is kind of a dead end though. so not a lot of opportunity. I'll keep hunting though #I just want to find wildly adhd people is that too much to ask. I need chaos and jokes and laughter and objects thrown through the air #I cannot take boring small town talk around a small table. #and like. I've met neckbeard gamer bros who I loved and got along with super well. they were mad adhd. but like. ugh. I can't stand boring #I can't stand calm. I need them to be hopped up on neurodivergence #I wish it were socially acceptable to get up and go 'sorry you're all very nice but you're very boring I'm going home now' #like. no offense but I hate it here bye #tag talk