#circus man you are truly iconic

[dent-de-leon]

Sorry just remembered when Tealeaf was getting warm and cuddly with Yasha again and she gently said, “I look a bit different, but…everything is still kinda the same. Except, well—I fell in love.”

And when Beauregard halfheartedly raises her hand and tries to introduce herself as the love in question, Tealeaf just looks at her, entirely unimpressed, and goes, “Eh.”

Truly one of the strongest indicators that King is Molly’s soul shard reborn—

#sorry I just remembered how fucking funny that is ahsksjd #circus man you are truly iconic

[in-death-we-fall]

Out Of The Shadows

Since his shock exit from Slipknot, Joey Jordison has remained silent. For the first time, he opens up about the split, the debilitating condition that left him unable to walk, and how he's been reborn anew

Words: Dom Lawson • Pics: Travis Shinn

Metal Hammer 285 - August 2016 (google drive link) Full disclosure I pasted the main article from Metal Hammer's awful awful website because my hands are sad (from doing things like this, yes. Don't keep doing things if they hurt, yes even if you're super super excited about a guy.)

There is life after death. First, there’s Hell.

When the news first broke that Joey Jordison was no longer in Slipknot, it sent shockwaves around the world. Here was this icon of our world and one of the founding members of one of the greatest bands to emerge in all of 30 years suddenly, inexplicably gone. In the heavy wake of Paul Gray’s passing it seemed almost too great a blow for any band, even one with nine members. Anyone who knows their travails understands that they’re less a band and more like a dysfunctional family – had their problems caught up with them? But reappear they did, to the sound of a rapturously received album, and the three-ring circus of Knotfest, and yet still questions remained about the circumstances of Joey’s departure. Slipknot were tightlipped, and Joey? It was anyone’s guess.

I’m humbled to say that we now have Joey’s side of the story, and this month’s world-exclusive journey to Des Moines is one of the most powerful, saddening and inspirational stories you’ll read in these pages. Sure, there are the new records – Vimic and Sinsaeneum (sic) herald one of our world’s greatest musicians returning to the fold and from the sound of things we’ve some tremendous records ahead of us.

More importantly though, we have one of metal’s greatest figures back, and we couldn’t be more delighted to see him back on his feet – literally. To read Dom Lawson’s tale of a man who’s truly been there and back again, see p.38. Make sure you’re sitting down, because Travis Shinn’s remarkable photography is as stark as it it worth not one, but over 3,000 words.

Thank you for reading, and… Stay metal! Alex, Editör-In-Chief

Out Of The Shadows

Since his shock exit from Slipknot, Joey Jordison has remained silent. For the first time, he opens up about the split, the debilitating condition that left him unable to walk, and how he's been reborn anew

Words: Dom Lawson • Pics: Travis Shinn

Joey Jordison unmasked: the ultimate interview

Part One - Revelation

“This is very important to me. You’re getting something that I have not told anyone. It’s very emotional. It’s fucking hardcore, man.”

Joey Jordison has got a few things to get off his chest. More importantly, the world has got a few questions for the erstwhile Slipknot alumnus and the 21st century’s most celebrated percussive polymath, not least because he has been resolutely off the radar for the last few years.

The last time Metal Hammer spoke directly to Joey, he was promoting his then-newly-formed band Scar The Martyr, who released their self-titled debut album in September 2013. Three months later, he was seemingly dismissed from Slipknot, the band he had enjoyed huge global success with ever since they exploded into our world back in 1999.

Since that startling news broke in December 2013, Joey has been conspicuous by his absence from our ears, eyes and screens. This being the age of endless social media speculation, his disappearance and departure from Slipknot have been widely discussed online, one commonly espoused theory being that the diminutive drummer had gone spectacularly off the rails and was simply unable to fulfill his usual duties, thus prompting his bandmates’ decision to effect an unexpected lineup change.

In truth, only Joey’s closest friends and business associates know what he’s been up to for the last couple of years, but as he warmly greets Hammer at the door of the house he shares with girlfriend Amanda in Des Moines, it’s immediately apparent that today’s interview is much more than just an opportunity to herald the arrival of not one, but two new bands and Joey’s wholesale return to action. Instead, this is what he describes as “an opportunity to tell everyone what the fuck has been going on”. And it’s almost certainly not what anyone is expecting.

“It was at the end of the memorial shows we did for Paul,” Joey begins, referencing the death of bandmate Paul Gray and the subsequent world tour that began in the summer of 2011 and continued until August 2012. “We were in Canada, at the end of my last run of shows with Slipknot, and something happened to me but I didn’t know what it was. I was super ill. You can be sick and still play, but this was something I’d never felt in my life before.

“We found out that what I have is acute transverse myelitis. It’s a neurological condition that hits your spinal cord and it wiped my legs out completely. It’s like having your legs cut off, basically. I played those last couple of shows and it scared the living shit out of me. I didn’t know what it was. Everyone thought I was fucked up, but it wasn’t the case. I wasn’t even drinking. Everything was straight-laced and fucking perfect. Everything was on point. But I had to be carried to the stage…”

Joey pauses, wincing at the memory. “The pain was something I’d never experienced in my life before, and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.”

When he arrived home from the Slipknot tour, Joey could barely walk. On August 21, 2012, he was admitted to Mercy West hospital in Des Moines, diagnosed with some form of leg paralysis but unaware of exactly how or why this was happening to him. Ten days later, he was transferred to the neurological unit at University Of Iowa Hospital in Iowa City, understandably terrified and extremely confused about his physical deterioration.

“It was fucking bad, dude,” he recalls. “My lady has everything documented. I got struck with this fucking thing that I couldn’t control. The doctors said I might not be able to walk again. Today, I can almost run, but back then I couldn’t even stand up. I was bed-ridden. If I wanted to turn over in bed, I had to move my legs with my hands. I was in and out of the hospital for months.

“Some beautiful people have helped me out and got me back stronger and taught me how to walk again, but at that moment my whole life was screwed, man. Acute transverse myelitis is a fucked-up disease and a lot of people don’t recover from it and they’re paralysed forever.”

After having braces fitted to prevent his weakened legs from buckling, Joey was finally discharged from hospital in October 2012. Thus began an extremely lengthy, challenging and physically exhausting regime of physical and occupational therapy, as Joey tried to summon the energy and determination to beat the bizarre neurological condition that had wrenched the carpet from under his feet and left him both horribly vulnerable and understandably bewildered.

Early in 2013, work began on Scar The Martyr’s debut album, as a further batch of Slipknot shows in Japan and Europe – including a headline slot at Download – loomed over the horizon. Still recovering from the worst of his illness, Joey somehow managed to recover to the point where he was able to perform at those gigs, after which he threw himself wholeheartedly into launching Scar The Martyr by hitting the road as main support to Danzig in the US.

All the while, of course, his global army of admirers remained entirely in the dark about the turmoil and trials going on behind the scenes. It was widely noted that Joey was looking overweight and far from healthy during Scar The Martyr’s debut UK tour, but the conclusions that most people were jumping to – in essence, that he had a problem with drugs and/or drink – were completely off target. Unfortunately, when Slipknot announced on December 12, 2013, that they were to forge ahead without their talismanic drummer, those rumours seemed to gain a little extra momentum.

“Yeah, and that’s why I love being able to do this interview, because finally I get to tell the fucking truth!” Joey declares. “It’s been really frustrating, but I can only bless the people that have been around me and helped me to get back to this point. And this is what I want to clarify for my fans…” – he punches his hand to emphasise the importance of this statement – “…it had nothing to do with fucking drugs or fucking alcohol!”

Several times during our interview, Joey’s eyes fill with tears. It’s abundantly clear that the extraordinary effort required to confront acute transverse myelitis and doggedly chase a light at the end of a seriously dark and bleak tunnel has taken a lot out of him, particularly on an emotional level. But now that he is about to click into top gear once again, via new bands Vimic and Sinsaenum, Joey is channeling his energies towards a cathartic clearing of the decks, and setting people straight about his life over the last five years is top of the agenda.

“Life takes you on weird trips and you just have to hold on, ride the wave and be as strong as you fucking can,” he shrugs. “I’ve been through so much fucking shit over the last few years and people just don’t know.”

Part Two - Struggle

The news that Joey had seemingly been sacked from Slipknot came as a huge shock to everyone, even without the additional knowledge of his devastating health problems. From the band’s enormous fanbase, through to many of us in the metal world that have always known him to be, at the very least, a wholly dedicated and passionate member of that 18-legged, arena-smashing entity, it was a wildly unexpected turn of events.

The band’s own public statements at the time took a predictably passive course, the relatively benign implication being that Joey and his former comrades were simply heading in different creative directions and could no longer work together effectively.

On January 2, 2014, he made his own statement on Facebook, making it plain that as far as he was concerned, there was no mutual agreement and he had been fired from Slipknot for reasons unknown.

“I was laying in bed with my lady, I’d been in rehabilitation for my health issues but everything was good, and the next thing I know…” he pauses, visibly upset. “No band meeting? None. Anything from management? No, nothing. All I got was a stupid fucking email saying that I was out of the band that I busted my ass my whole life to fucking create, you know?

“It was the weirdest fucking thing. I can’t imagine just sending Corey or Shawn or Mick a fucking letter, without a band meeting. We’re friends and we’ve been through so much shit together, but that was all it was, a fucking letter. That’s exactly what happened and it was hurtful, man. I didn’t deserve that shit after what I’d done and everything I’d been through.”

In light of revelations about his state of health at the time, it does seem an unusually abrupt way to bring such a longstanding partnership to an end. Joey even claims to have written and demoed a batch of new material, aided by Slipknot’s then-touring bassist Donnie Steele, and circulated it among his bandmates in an attempt to get the compositional ball rolling. But, according to the drummer, no one got back to him to discuss the new songs: subtle evidence, perhaps, that wires were distinctly crossed.

“They got confused about my health issues, and obviously even I didn’t know what it was at first,” Joey sighs. “They thought I was fucked-up on drugs, which I wasn’t at all. I don’t blame them for being concerned, but when you’re friends and you’ve been through so much stuff, you fucking talk to each other. But I harbour no bad feelings toward them at all, because I’ve moved on with my life. I’m happier than I’ve been in years. You need to move on, close the fucking chapter and, in the end, it is what it is.”

It is a testament to the positive way Joey has endeavoured to overcome his severe health problems that today, even after having been unceremoniously ejected from one of the biggest metal bands on the planet, he is hearteningly sanguine about the way things have turned out.

During our conversation, he repeatedly declares how grateful he is for the friends, family and life that he has, and even when discussing the end of his tenure as Slipknot’s drummer, he is eager to state how much he still loves and admires his former bandmates. What is perhaps more surprising is that Joey not only made a point of checking out .5: The Gray Chapter, the album Slipknot made without him and released in 2014, but is also effusive in his praise for it.

“Honestly, I have a long history with those guys, so I give them the respect they deserve and I listened to the whole record multiple times,” he smiles. “And I think it’s great! It’s fucking cool and I’m glad they moved on. I’m not like, ‘I’m not gonna give them respect!’ – I’m not a coward like that. I’m glad they’re carrying on the name, because what’s important is the fans. There’s no stupid battle going on. There’s no point in saying, ‘Fuck them!’

“No, I’ve been through so many things with those guys and I love them very much. What’s hurtful is that the way it [being fired] went down was not fucking right. That’s all I want to say. The way they did it was fucking cowardly. It was fucked up. But the love in my heart for those guys, that stays the same.”

It is at this point that Metal Hammer asks the inevitable and unavoidable question: despite everything that has happened, would Joey be willing to rejoin Slipknot further down the line? As much as his successor, Jay Weinberg, has acquitted himself brilliantly while filling the shoes of a contemporary drumming legend, it’s hard to deny that most Slipknot fans would be beside themselves with joy if Joey were to return to the fold. He takes a deep, measured inward breath and fixes us with a stern stare…

“Let me think about how to answer that, because it’s a big one,” he nods. “Honestly, I’m not trying to be dramatic, but if that was brought up, what I’d want to do would be to get together. Not just have a phone call or some stupid email. I’d want to see them, just hug it out and feel that energy that we had when we were fucking young and hungry and all that shit. They’re my brothers. We’d hug and talk and do shit like we used to do. We used to sit up all night long planning this shit and what we wanted to do. So that’s how I’d wanna do it. It’d have to be in person. If it happened, that would be fucking awesome, but only time will tell.”

Part Three - Rebirth

Back in the here and now, Joey Jordison is well on his way to being fighting fit once again. His recovery is still ongoing, of course, and daily trips to see his trainer at the local gym have now become an essential part of his day-to-day schedule, but as he speaks, he radiates sincere positivity. That said, the effort it has taken Joey to get from suddenly and horrifyingly being robbed of the use of his legs to a point where he is able to unveil two brand new albums with different bands is etched into his subtly expressive face.

He and better half Amanda have kept a detailed scrapbook of photos and other memorabilia from the long, hard road back from the onset of transverse myelitis. They allow us to leaf through it, and it brings the jarring reality of Joey’s last few years vividly to life. It’s a litany of woes, pain and frustration that many of us would regard as insurmountable, but even when faced with yet another grim obstacle, when he fell and broke his leg while in the studio recording Vimic’s debut album in the autumn of 2014, leading to his leg being cut in half and the insertion of steel rods and bolts, Joey’s determination to prevail and come back stronger than ever has been unwavering.

“I did question everything, like, ‘What am I going to do?’, not knowing if I was going to recover,” he admits. “It hurt a lot. It was a big question. But there was a definite point where I thought about all the blessings I’ve been given in life, being part of Slipknot and playing with Korn and Ministry and Rob Zombie and doing Roadrunner United and all those things, and you look at that and you’re grateful, and so you bust your ass to get back. I didn’t feel sorry for myself. I do not quit. I’ve got fans I’ve got to take care of, you know? So there’s no hiding right now.”

If you want to know what the opposite of hiding sounds like, you need only lend an ear to either or both of the new records that Joey is releasing this summer. The first is Echoes Of The Tortured, the debut album from Sinsaenum, Joey’s collaboration with Dragonforce’s Frédéric Leclercq and a host of underground luminaries. A monstrous but eminently accessible death metal record, its jaw-shattering eruptions of blastbeats and epic fury showcase the full extent of Joey’s physical recovery in no uncertain terms.

The second is Open Your Omen, the first album from Vimic, which is essentially Scar The Martyr with a new vocalist, former Korn percussionist and back-up singer Kalen Chase. It’s a sharper, more focused record than its (sort of) predecessor, planting Joey firmly back in belligerent mainstream metal territory, with plenty of the huge hooks and irresistible riffs that his loyal fans will be feverishly anticipating. But beyond the new music itself, Joey’s true focus is on the unparalleled joy he is currently experiencing as he escapes the nightmare of the last few years and returns to what he does best.

“This is a rebirth, and reaching this point is the ultimate reward,” he states. “It’s like having the ultimate trophies, having these two bands. These opportunities are coming back to me and it feels like a complete renewal. These are real bands, not side-projects. Everything I do goes at 100%… maybe even 666%, ha ha!

“At a certain age, a lot of people] become vegetarians or they find religion, but I’m never gonna stop being a fucking weirdo and a fucking metalhead! You wake up one day and you realise that nothing’s ever gonna change and you’re fucking committed. I’ve been like that since I was five years old, man.

“Right now, I just want to keep creating. These bands are two huge fucking journeys for me. It’s like when you see a rollercoaster that you’ve never ridden before, and you’re fucking scared, but you’re in line and waiting, like I am now, and then once you step on? You’re in!”

There are a few lessons to be learned from the story of Joey Jordison’s last few traumatic years. Firstly, maybe we should all be slightly less eager to jump to hasty conclusions when faced with only one side of a story (or, indeed, no verified information whatsoever). Secondly, never underestimate the strength, persistence, passion and potential of the human spirit.

“The most pertinent lesson of all, however, is one we all should have learned a long time ago: Joey Jordison is an unstoppable force of nature and, after fighting the toughest battle of his entire life, he’s primed and ready to make up for lost time and to remind the world that loud, angry, fucked up and furious music remains the best medicine of all.

“I have this weird-ass condition, but it doesn’t limit me and I’m getting better all the time,” he concludes with a confident grin. “I can play just as fast, or faster, than I ever have. Everything is fucking cool and I’m at the gym every day and it’s all going well. That helps me out so much.

“I went through some serious fucking shit. People didn’t know and I can’t blame them for that. But the thing is, you get up in the morning and you look in the mirror, and then you go off and fucking do it. You live your life the way you want to, and get the work done! What else can I say, dude? It’s good to tell my story. I’m fucking back and I’m ready to go full force. This is the best fucking job in the world. I’m never gonna stop.”

What Is Transverse Myelitis?

We spoke to Lew Gray, secretary of UK charity the Transverse Myelitis Society, to understand what Joey’s batling…

Can you explain what the condition means? Lew: “Transverse myelitis is an inflammation of the spinal cord. You have a lot of nerves doing different things in your spinal cord, so the facts of each case depend on which part of the spinal cord is affected. It can be high in the spinal cord affecting the arms, or you may struggle to breathe because the muscles in your lungs don’t work. It could be lower, affecting different sensory nerves. Some people with transverse myelitis can walk but can’t feel the floor beneath their feet, or they can’t feel hot and cold or pain. We think there are about 250 cases a year in the UK.”

Does it typically come on quickly or is it more of a gradual process? “It can be either. A lot of people are paralysed within an hour or two. But then for other people it can be very gradual and come and go over a period of months. It takes some people years to get a diagnosis.”

What treatment is available? “Really, the only treatment is to dose you with steroids. They will reduce the inflammation, and therefore you’re not curing it, you’re minimising the damage until it goes away by itself. Physiotherapy is very important. Almost everyone gets some spontaneous recovery over time after transverse myelitis, but the body and mind ‘forget’ how to use muscles and nerves that are not working, so the purpose of neurophysiotherapy is to ‘guide’ the recovery.”

What is the long-term prognosis for someone with transverse myelitis? “The nerves are capable of regenerating themselves. Nobody can predict though how well they will regenerate, how long it will take, or if they will at all. The majority of people get improvement, but there is no cast-iron guarantee.”

How common are relapses? “We do know people who have had recurrences, however that is rare. Sometimes a reoccurrence of transverse myelitis leads to a diagnosis of MS [multiple sclerosis].”

For more on the Transverse Myelitis Society, visit www.myelitis.org.uk

Beating The Odds

How Joey Jordison fought his way back from paralysis to prosperity

The full extent of Joey’s arduous battle with acute transverse myelitis is brought into sharp focus when we visit Absolute Performance Therapy in Waukee, Des Moines. Joey spent months here, working on his recovery, and the mere fact that today he is able to walk through the front door without assistance speaks volumes about what he has achieved. His therapist, Alyssa Subbert, has nothing but praise for his determined approach.

“Being stubborn helped the most!” she laughs. “To go from being someone who could do anything to not being able to get out of a chair, then to get back to being able to do everything again, it was a huge process. He wanted to drum again so bad, and as long as we made every exercise about drumming, he’d do it. He was very stubborn and very ornery, but he’d work and work until his body was too sore.”

Gruelling physical work aside, it is obvious that Joey’s time at APT was also hugely emotional. He hasn’t been back since finishing his treatment, and there are tears as he and Alyssa recall the intense therapy sessions and ferocious perseverance and teamwork that were needed to make each successive triumph a reality along the way.

“This was a huge wake-up call to Joey’s health and lifestyle, and how physical his job is,” Alyssa states. “When you’ve done something like that forever, you have no concept of it. He has to play in a drum set that rotates and goes upside down?! It’s not a regular job, sitting at a computer. We even practised mobbing him! Does he have balance when a whole bunch of people mob him, you know? It’s a whole different life, and very physical. So this was a completely unique process we went through.”

Joey’s physical therapy may be over, but his daily trips to local gym Life Time Athletic are an essential part of his recovery, not to mention his ability to play drums with the power and skill that fans have come to expect. His personal trainer, Caleb Herman, is a Slipknot fan who’s full of admiration for his client’s dedication.

“When Joey came in, he could hardly walk,” Caleb recalls. “Now he’s pressing 700lbs and he can do a step above what most people can do. He’s got one of the strongest back muscle groups I’ve ever seen. He couldn’t stand without help, but now he can stand up by himself, so his progress has been awesome. When he sees progress, he becomes motivated, and he tells me he gets the chills, and that gives me the chills. It’s really exciting to see him get to this point.”

Battle Of The Bands

After a long absence from our world, Joey’s returning with two new projects. But how do Vimic and Sinsaenum stack up against each other?

Vimic

Members: Joey Jordison (drums), Kalen Chase (vocals), Matt Tarach (keyboards), Jed Simon (guitar), Kyle Konkiel (bass). Sound: Crunchy, state-of-the-art modern metal with big, anthemic melodies and plenty of snotty aggression. Image: Lots of black leather, long hair, beards and menacing scowls. Sample lyric: ‘Simple skeletons, playing God again/We’re getting higher, we’re getting higher, and the truth will set us free’ (Simple Skeletons). Drumming: Lashings of classic Joey, from that Slipknot stomp and big, muscular grooves to bursts of high-velocity blasting. Joey says: “Scar The Martyr was the blueprint, but we wiped the slate clean. This is heavy shit. Kalen killed it on this record.” For fans of: Slipknot, Disturbed, Fear Factory. Check out: Earth Stood Still. Lurching, syncopated grooves and soaring, post-grunge melodies collide in a brutish, multi-tempo anthem that deftly showcases singer Kalen’s versatility.

Sinsaenum

Members: Joey Jordison (drums), Frédéric Leclercq (guitar), Heimoth (bass), Attila Csihar (vocals), Sean Zatorsky (vocals), Stéphane Buriez (guitar). Sound: Epic, imperious, blackened death metal with tons of eerie atmosphere. Image: Classic, dark, extreme metal attitude with a dash of theatrical corpse paint and a blood-splattered logo. Sample lyric: ‘We are the pain inside your head/We are the sorrow in your soul/We are the fire/We are the rusty nails’ (Army Of Chaos). Drumming: A masterclass in death metal precision and power. Proof that Joey is back and blazing. Joey says: “Sinsaenum is probably one of the most extreme and proficient bands I have ever been in. These guys are fucking on point at all times. We’re a fucking army!” For fans of: Morbid Angel, Dimmu Borgir, Behemoth. Check out: Inverted Cross. It’s blistering, heads-down death metal grandeur with anti-Christian lyrics, fret-melting solos and countless warped twists and turns.

Sin City

As well as making his comeback with Vimic, Joey Jordison’s taken up the drum stool for death metal project Sinsaenum. Mastermind and Dragonforce bassist Frédéric Leclercq explains how it came thundering to life

Words: Dayal Patterson

While Vimic represents a beefed-up reboot of Scar The Martyr, Joey’s also been behind the kit for a second, brand new band - Sinsaenum. The brainchild of Dragonforce bassist Frédéric Leclercq, it’s a more murky blend of death and black metal, featuring the twosome alongside some of the leading lights of the extreme scene, including dual vocals from Mayhem’s Attila Csihar and Dååth’s Sean Zatorsky. We asked Frédéric what the supergroup have planned for their dark future.

How did Sinsaenum first come about? Frédéric: “Oh Christ, even I have trouble remembering when it started! I always wrote death metal songs. I started to write in 1998, then I was doing something else [he played in the French bands Memoria and Heavenly], and I’m still doing something else, with Dragonforce. The first person I spoke to was Stéphane [Buriez, guitar] from Loudblast. It must’ve been in 2010 that we said, ‘Let’s really do something about it.’”

How did Joey get involved? “I kept writing more songs, and one day in 2013 I got a text from Joey. We call each other ‘Morbid Angel” – don’t ask why – so the text said, ‘Morbid Angel, what you up to?’ I was like, ‘Well, I just got back from tour… talking about Morbid Angel, I have these death metal songs.’ He was like, ‘You should send them to me!’ Two days later, he came back like, ‘Fuck yeah, that’s really cool. Who’s playing drums? I want to do it.’ So I started to ask more people that I had in mind.”

How did you guys meet? “We did the Mayhem tour together in the US, in 2008. One day drinking we were talking about death metal, and then we got to talking about it more and more. That’s how you get to know people – you find what you have in common. We had drinking and Morbid Angel.”

What about the other guys? “Stéphane I’ve known for 20 years. I played in a band in my hometown, Charleville-Mézières, and we supported his band, Loudblast. They were a big influence, and the first death metal band I heard. We kept in touch because France is a small country when it comes to metal. With [bassist] Heimoth from [French black metal band] Seth, it’s the same – there’s a small metal community. Dragonforce and Mayhem did a festival together, and Attila came onto the bus and said: ‘My son is a fan and would love an autograph – by the way, I’m the vocalist of Mayhem.’ He’s such a nice person – maybe you shouldn’t write that, keep the mystery! Sean and I met when Dååth was opening for Dragonforce in 2009. I really liked his voice and his attitude.”

How much music was written before you started working with them? “When Joey sent that text, all the songs were half-written, because I’ve a tendency to write a song with just a verse and a chorus, maybe a mid-section, because I know the rest is in my head. So when he said, ‘I’m interested,’ I was like, ‘Oh shit, I have to finish the songs!’ I sent out files, because it was clear that people trusted my ‘vision’. They didn’t want to change too much. I had to finalise lyrics with Sean and Attila, and Stéphane contributed to the structure. Joey added some fills. I decided to make it a concept album using interludes like Tiamat, or Pestilence, or even Type O Negative did to create atmosphere, so I had to write those.”

What was it like working with your heroes? “I felt like a kid in a toy store! Being in a studio with Attila singing songs that I wrote, and saying, ‘Oh, you should do this song like [Mayhem’s] De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas, and him being like, [adopts a Hungarian accent] ‘OK bro’, it’s like ‘Fuck, this is happening!’ I shouldn’t sound so excited, ‘cause this is black and death metal, but I had a big smile during the whole process – we all did. On Army Of Chaos we have Schmier from Destruction and Mika and Mirai from Sigh. Mika and Mirai are good friends of mine and are doing the big choirs, the choruses… like Sepultura’s Stronger Than Hate [from 1989’s Beneath The Remains]. I remember reading the booklet as a kid… they had the guys from Obituary and Atheist on it, and I was like, ‘Fuck, that’s cool.’ And it’s Schmier who’s singing on the last pre-chorus.

Did Joey’s health battles affect Sinsaenum? “Not at all. He speaks about it way better than I, so I won’t comment on that. I’ve kept away from all the troubles. I was like, ‘I’m a friend. If you want to talk, I’ll listen, but I just want to make sure you’re happy.’ As far as health problems, he was fine – he killed the drums. I don’t know how he did it, but he said, ‘Dude, I’m on fire.’ He was angry, I guess.”

Will Sinsaenum tour? “It’s definitely something we want to do, but there’s no rush. I want to do everything the same way I lived it as a kid. These bands I loved, I loved their albums, but I didn’t see them live for a long time and it didn’t bother me. I want people to digest the album – there’s a lot of information on there. Plus, we’re all busy; it’s difficult to get us all in a room. We rehearsed before doing the videos, and being in the same room, it was like, ‘Fucking hell.’”

What’s happening with Dragonforce right now? “We’re doing summer festivals and writing the new album that will come out next year, so I have to juggle between doing Sinsaenum stuff and writing and recording with Dragonforce. So my head is about to explode, but that’s fine!”

What do you get from Sinsaenum that you don’t get with Dragonforce? “This is really the music I love. I like Dragonforce stuff, and I write more of it now, but sometimes I don’t agree with all the decisions. With Sinsaenum, from A to Z it is exactly what I want. I guess it’s my baby. It gives me a way to express the dark side of myself and show it to people – if they care or not, that’s another issue!”

Sinsaenum release Echoes Of The Tortured on July 29 via Earmusic 

#after ten thousand years here it is #if you want anything else from this issue scanned just lemme know (there's already a couple other pages in the google drive folder) #joey jordison #sinsaenum #vimic #slipknot #metal hammer 285 aug 16 #those photos with the black stuff dripping down his face are truly egregious i am incredibly gay why would metal hammer do this to me #why not give us pictures of all the cats huh?? #like yaknow instead of his leg with all the stitches. the other four cats. just sayin #fred is so ae;gihas;kdf;h #interview

[circuschroniclescritter]

Hello! I'm the mod, you can call me Mod Circus.

Please respect that this blog is both as canon but also an What If Au of the smiling critters circus au! It's also mostly headcanons, so some stuff might not be accurate or in character.

I am a college student who enjoys roleplaying and making up aus! I am a sys as well, along with a protective sibling type! If you need any help or advice, DM me!

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✦‎۟ Warning~!✦‎۟

This blog may contain cursing and heavy topics such as mental breakdowns, Violence, panic attacks, and stuff similar to that. Mod is a adult, but keep sexual topics will be kept to a minimum due to minors might stumble on here.

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Role-playing as:

(Dogday) Sol: Ringmaster | A master of the circus domain, guiding with a firm hand and sharp wit. But something..is always odd with him..

(Bobby) Loveote: Aerial Artisan | Former enchantress of the skies, her captivating performances left audiences spellbound. What led to her retirement remains a mystery, adding allure to her legend.

(Hoppy) Cylde: Gymnastic Adventurer | Fearlessly exploring new heights and depths, with a penchant for defying gravity. While the wheel of death may be her claimed favorite, her heart truly belongs to the thrill of the gym wheel.

(Kickin') Rooster: Daredevil Dynamo | Known for his daring stunts that leave him scarred but undefeated, he embodies the spirit of resilience in the face of danger.

(Bubba) Logic: Director of Precision | The cornerstone of the circus, his ingenious planning ensures a seamless blend of safety and spectacle, essential for keeping the show running smoothly.

(Crafty) Jasmine: Enigmatic Enchanter | Weaving magic through her graceful movements, she enchants audiences with her mesmerizing performances. Yet, behind her mask lies a mystery waiting to be unraveled.

(Picky Pig) Bajie: Culinary Connoisseur | A culinary maestro who tantalizes taste buds and hearts alike, her expertise in both food and animal handling adds a touch of whimsy and delight to the circus experience.

(Catnap) Nightlight: Aerial Artistry Maestro | A seasoned clown with a timeless charm, his mastery of aerial hoop and cloud swing keeps audiences laughing and gasping in awe, ensuring his place as a beloved icon of the circus.

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Other People?

Empty....

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------------------------------------------- Mod Circus---------------------

Circus AU! Critters

In a world where the spotlight fades and the laughter echoes emptily, lies the tale of resilient spirits finding solace and purpose under the canvas of a traveling circus. These smiling critters, once disparate souls, now weave a tapestry of camaraderie amidst the neglect of their props, the decay of their food, and the echoing silence of the empty stands.

Their ringmaster, a figure of cruelty veiled in showmanship, lords over them like a dark cloud, siphoning their hard-earned coins for his vices, leaving them with little but shattered dreams and bitter disillusionment. Yet, amidst the ruins of their hopes, they persist. With over thirty determined souls, they toil tirelessly, supplementing their meager earnings with side jobs, scraping together every penny in a desperate bid to salvage their tarnished circus. But fate, it seems, has other plans. Their efforts are dashed, their dreams shattered, as their treacherous ringmaster absconds with their savings, leaving them stranded and forsaken at desolate train stations, their spirits hanging by a thread.

Just when all seems lost, a beacon of hope emerges. A man , garbed in resplendent ringmaster attire, approaches them with outstretched arms and a promise of redemption. His own circus troupe having disbanded, he seeks to breathe new life into their weary souls, offering them a chance to join him under the canopy of his enchanted circus. It's a leap of faith, a gamble against the odds,

but in the depths of their despair, they find themselves drawn to this man who weaves tales of magic and wonder. And so, with hesitant hearts and trembling hands, they take their first step into a world where the impossible reigns supreme, where dreams take flight on wings of stardust, and where, perhaps, they will find the family they've longed for amidst the flickering lights of the circus tent.

[You can draw version of them! Please credit me for the characters/Aus]

-------Mod Circus Baby---------

#poppy playtime #poppy playtime chapter 3 #smiling critters #DogDay #CatNap #bubba bubbaphant #picky piggy #bobby bearhug #craftycorn #hoppy hopscotch #kickinchicken #Deep Sleep #Poppy playtime chapter 3 deep sleep #ask blog #asks #Mod Circus Baby Speaking

[omgsuperstarg]

#K-popaddock- Toto Wolff x reader

You know I love nothing more than K-pop! So what better than dance challenges with some of the drivers and even the boss man himself for some good fun in between races.

As a driver, you knew it had been stressful having to push the pedal to the metal every weekend but you loved it and wouldn't have it any other way. Everyone knew how much of a K-pop fan you were by the edits and dance covers you uploaded and they loved when you got the chance to show off your skills.

The Mercedes admin gave you the honour of creating some content for the Team Socials and the fans knew that in your spare time, you loved to dance especially to K-pop songs. So you started the #kpopaddock in which each race weekend you tried to do at least some challenges personal and fan-voted. So for the newest edition, it was time to see the other drivers on Grid show their moves and the poison was EXO Kai's Rover since it was the easiest and you knew most of the guys could pick it up well.

And so it began, it was enjoyable seeing the guys try their hand at the choreography. Charles and Carlos put their own flavour and comedy into the dance as you knew the C² would. Max and Daniel did the dance well and Lewis put his own style and improvised a dance to the song.

Now this was the moment that the fans would go ballistic over. It's a proven fact that Toto is a staple to the F1 internet and what better way to get the fangirls screaming than their fave principal dancing. The admin had him agree to do some content but he doesn't know what kind so it was time to break the news and document it.

"Hey boss man, I hope you're ready for your special challenge", you say smiling hiding your evil intentions on what your boss has to do.

'"I hope nothing too difficult and embarrassing.", the Austrian principal speaks with a hint of amusement.

"As we all know, you can party hard and dance so I want to challenge you to bust a move utilizing some k-pop choreo and the whole garage is going to be your personal cheerleader", the garage erupts into cheers and whistles with some taking out their phones ready to capture the moment.

Toto's face resembles a cherry with blood rushing to his cheeks but knowing Toto he's not one to refuse but I did have a stipulation if he did forfeit.

"Just so you know sir, if you fail to accept you must wear wolf ears for the remainder of today's proceedings. So choose wisely!", you say in giddy excitement.

You could hear him mutter in German at the mess he's about to enter.

"Don't worry boss, your dance will be cool and simple to complete and that song is 2PMs My house. Get your popcorn yall cuz this is finna be a show you'll never forget", you profess like an announcer at a circus saving the best act for last.

You begin to teach Toto the moves and he's a surprisingly quick study, its always nice to see the man you look up to have a little breather since race days always have him stressed and the cherry on the cake is that it gives the team a morale boost.

"You think you're ready Mr. Wolff?", you inquire to your commander.

"Yes, I hope I don't embarrass myself too much. I'm marvelled at you. Not only you're a great driver yet here you displaying another facet of your talent. Im quite proud of you.", he confesses after which he gives you a huge wolff hug.

NOW ITS SHOWTIME!!! With all cameras at the ready and baited breath, this was his debut and you placed the cat headband on him for good measure and then the music started.

It was such a huge moment that even some of the other garages came to sneak a peak at the powerful Wolff getting his dance on and in the end, he did pretty great and the crowd loved it. Some cameramen even documented it live. It was truly an ICONIC Toto moment! You didn't think Toto was able to move his hips like that but he proved you wrong.

You even sent the video to Mrs Susie so she could see her beloved husband in action and she LIVED FOR IT AS WELL as well as little Jack laughing at seeing his dad dance😊😂👌

"AHHHHHHHHH, yep!!!!! This is millions-worthy right here. THE FANS ARE GOING TO EAT THIS UP!!!!!", you say as you observe the footage.

"You did really good Toto, im proud of you. The ears stay on", you said running to prep for the day's races before he can rebuttal.

Bonus Clip

At the end of the day, you placed P4 and to celebrate you had one more challenge to do and it was a compilation of Lee Chaeyeon's Knock. You've been practising for all four levels of the dance and now it's time to bare the fruits of the labour. Dressed in your outfit, you proceeded to leave it all on the track for everyone to see!

#Youtube #toto wolff x reader #f1 x reader #kpop #dance fever

[the-l-spacer]

Hiiii! May I ask for the character Ask game Magnifico Giganticus/Question 2 & Elijah Baley/Question 25?

2 (For Magnifico): Favorite canon thing about this character?

My favourite thing about him is that he’s CANONICALLY A DRAMATIC BITCH!!! Even aside from his clownsona (who’s already flailing and passing out and doing somersaults all over the place), once he goes all galactic-warlord mode he’s STILL delivering monologues and larping as a shakespeare villain like ??????

HES SO EXTRA AND FOR WHAT!!!! truly you can take the clown out of the circus but you can’t take the circus out of the clown <3

25 (For Elijah): What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

I think my first impression was something like ‘eh he seems like a generic cop character’. and now (as with most asimov protagonists) it’s ‘this man is an unhinged high int low wis gremlin and I love him sm’. Also the fact that despite his abysmal rizz his robot partner fell for him so hard that he kept the galaxy going for 20000 years partly because of him??? Iconic. I miss him I need to reread the robot series so bad

Character ask game!

#isaac asimov #asimov #foundation #robot series #LOVE THESE GUYS SM

[7grandmel]

Todays rip: 28/06/2023

voiceless (short rave remix)

Season 4 Episode 2 Featured on: MAXIMUM QUALITY ACHIEVED

Ripped by Maggie

"Donks" mix, from the full rave: (06:05)

Part of Voiceless Week!

Man, I miss SiIva's MAGFest panels. I don't know much of what's going on behind the scenes with both SiIva and MAGFest, but their panels during 2018, 2019 and 2020 were immensely fun to watch even just as VODs at home. And though they're yet to return since, 2020s MAGFest at least ended with something truly special: MAXIMUM QUALITY ACHIEVED, otherwise known as the SiIvaGunner MAGFest rave.

I'm sure I'll get to touch on the rave itself at a later date, so I'll just cut right to the chase of what we're talking about here: The rave-themed rearrangement of voiceless featured six minutes in, named "voiceless (short rave remix)" on its isolated upload. Similar to the feelings I expressed toward slideless yesterday, it hit me in a special way, in that it felt like a reminder of just how much voiceless meant to those who watched it on its release. Amidst these other tracks on the setlist, all bangers in their own right, I remember thinking it stuck out in a really nice way. It's not a banger-ified version of a meme iconic to the channel, or a YTPMV with a rave beat, but just a regular reminder of how much effort was placed onto voiceless itself.

Also, uh, yeah, don't worry, I'll get to elaborating on the Circus rips at a later date.

But hey, even divorced from the rave it was originally made for - this is just a damn good EDM(?) remix of the original song! Everything but the vocals are recreated with synths to give it a distinctly different vibe, almost as if it'd been made for Sonic Forces or something of that ilk, yet it still very much feels like voiceless. Despite using very similar synth instrumentation throughout, its layered in such a dense way to still make for a really engaging listening experience. And the vocals still work just as well here as in their original context, to where it gets my mind racing as to how many other contexts you could rearrange the song in and still have it be identifiable! In my eyes, this 100% lives up as a worthy alternative to the original track.

Now if only we'd get the whole track rearranged, Maggie!! >:T (kidding of course!)

#todays siivagunner #voiceless week #season 4 episode 2 #siivagunner #siiva #Maggie #magfest #christmas comeback crisis #circus rip #edm remix #Bandcamp

[dishtothedeath]

but i’ll know, i’ll know | bonbon 3.5 | re: jun’ya, haruki | attn: jun’ya

Innocent until guilty my ass.

Despite everything, time dwindles and the struggle continues. Eyes don’t move from him, and for once in his career, it’s the truly rancid sort of attention. By means of motives and methods, it’s all looped back around to we don’t have anyone better than you, and that ripe pisses him off. Anger doesn’t do good here, they’ve already wasted enough time, and Bonbon’s starting to feel like he’s wasting away underneath everyone’s eyes. But he can do it, he can push for it, he can find a little more defense.

“I wanted t’go to the Malwart because—”

Words he avoided as much as possible, a truth difficult to remember and harder to say.

“— because the person I saw there is dead, Haruki. Even if it was fake, even if they was gone. Wouldn’t you wanna see somebody like that again? Somebody, someone. Someone that important to you? That could tide me over. Remind me of when times were better. Man did it too. We ain’t guilty fer lovin’ folks dear to us.”

The truth of the matter of the Brimstone and Barley, at last aired out; the circus fell apart because its patriarch did, the death of their essential linchpin. With no one to direct the circus, there was no circus to be had. In one fell swoop, Bonbon Bourbon lost everything, and there, in those halls, was a ghost of that man.

Even if it was a lie, it was sweet in its poison. How much he had asked to get to talk to Luchino Ricci, one last time.

No time for sentimentalities. Feelings don’t have place on a courtroom stand.

“Jun’ya himself’s pretty strong, y’know? I don’t know if y’all have seen it, but he’s pretty handy, an’ that takes a good ‘mount of bulk under that suit vest. He’s sharp with handlin’ a lotta things at once, an’ as a butler, you think he’d be good at cleanup, yeah? Quick hands for a lotta chores, multitaskin’ an’ all that.  I don’t think it’s impossible that he’s got the handiwork for takin’ out the cameras an’ settin’ somethin’ like that doohickey up. He already wears a lotta layers— you wouldn’t really notice if he had splash clothes under that suit coat.”

He fixes his bowtie.

“That, an’ the fact of the matter is? Jun’ya’s got somebody he really has’ta go back to. Someone alive, time sensitive, who needs his help as fast as possible back home. It’d make sense for him to wanna speed up the process of gettin’ that prize money by gettin’ rid of his competitors, right? Could pay for a lotta things he needs. Hard to say no to family, right?”

A huff from his tired lungs and about-hoarse throat. The weight of the cameras takes a toll on him. Feels crushing.

“Yer suggestin’ I covered up the blood on my face? That wouldn’t work. My makeup’s grease based, an’ blood’s made of water. Oil an’ water don’t mesh. I couldn’t mix out or cover up a splatter by just tappin’ on fresh paint an’ throwin’ on settin’ powder. I’d have’ta clean off that spot entirely, then match it to the rest, an’ that’d jus’ be fer one spot. It’d be smarter to redo the face entirely, else, someone could see where it don’t match the old paint. Fifteen minutes makes a lotta time an’ a lotta product mess. Like I said, my face’s iconic— if somethin’ was off, you could see it.”

With that, he rests his case for the—

“Oh, an’ by the way, I changed my get up before this whole killin’. Goodness forbid a clown try new sets.”

Okay, now he’s done.

#submission #ch3 #trial #bonbon

[tameila]

May Week One Albums.

May 2nd: My Name is Michael Holbrook, MIKA

favorite(s) before listen: Tomorrow

favorite(s) after listen: Tomorrow, Tiny Love, Ready to Call This Love, Tiny Love Reprise

May 3rd: Favourite Worst Nightmare, Arctic Monkeys

familiarity: went into the day with no album prepared and this was a recommended one on the front page. Between Heardle and the restaurant in Chicago that I ate at over the weekend with my friend, it felt that Arctic Monkeys had been cropping up and saying it was their turn!

favorite(s) before listen: Fluorescent Adolescent, Do Me a Favour, 505

favorite(s) after listen: Fluorescent Adolescent, Do Me a Favour, 505, D is for Dangerous, Brainstorm, This House is a Circus, The Bad Thing, Old Yellow Bricks

standout lyric: "perhaps ‘fuck off’ might be too kind”

May 4th: Toxicity, System of a Down

familiarity: recommended by @jabletown​ ! as a person who consumed AMVs during my middle school years, uh...yeah, I know System of a Down lol

favorite(s) before listen: Chop Suey!, Shimmy, Toxicity

favorite(s) after listen: Chop Suey!, Shimmy, Toxicity, Prison Song, Bounce, Aerials, Arto

May 5th: Hypnotize, System of a Down

familiarity: Hypnotize is my favorite System of a Down song, so I had to throw this album in too

favorite(s) before listen: Hypnotize

favorite(s) after listen: Hypnotize, Dreaming, Kill Rock n’ Roll, Stealing Society, Tentative

May 6th: Tell All Your Friends, Taking Back Sunday

familiarity: it’s the start of my birthday weekend! I’ve been excited to return to Taking Back Sunday’s albums ever since I started this project but kept holding them off, but my birthday? it’s the perfect time! I have always felt like TBS doesn’t get nearly enough attention and love. they’ve always been one of my favorites from their heyday of music. I’m most familiar with their first three albums and then their sixth, but they’ve released an album as recent as a couple years ago so I’m interested to see how they’ve changed over the years

favorite(s) before listen: I would say that the only song on this album that I’m not overly familiar with is “The Blue Channel”

favorite(s) after listen: This album is a classic but I was amazed that I found myself not getting into it that much. It’s definitely still a nostalgia listen and I enjoy each song, but my top favorites are You’re So Last Summer (this song is truly top tier), Ghost Man on Third, Cute Without the ‘E’, There’s No ‘I’ in Team, and Timberwolves At New Jersey

standout lyric: i mean...come on, the most iconic lyric has to win...”The truth is you could slit my throat / And with my one last gasping breath / I'd apologize for bleeding on your shirt” this lyric fundamentally changed me as a person when i first heard it

May 7th: Where You Want To Be, Taking Back Sunday

familiarity: I relistened to some of my favorites off this album a few months back and -- my god, the way I probably, legitimately hadn’t listened to those songs in a decade and yet the lyrics came to me like I’d listened to yesterday. Out of their first three albums, I slept on this one quite a bit. I had my favorites and I’d ignore the rest of it, which is why I’m particularly excited to do a full listen through since I discovered new favorites when I did that with Louder Now last year

favorite(s) before listen: Set Phasers To Stun, A Decade Under the Influence, This Photograph is Proof (I Know You Know), One-Eighty By Summer, Number Five With a Bullet, Little Devotional, ...Slowdance On The Inside

favorite(s) after listen: Happy to report back that this is a no skip album! I wouldn’t say that any of the songs that I hadn’t listened to before Wow!’d me, but it was nice to experience the album as a cohesive whole

standout lyric: “Well, my best side was your worst invention”

May 8th: Louder Now, Taking Back Sunday

familiarity: hands down my favorite of their albums! I did a full listen through of this album last year and ended up falling absolutely in love with “My Blue Heaven” to the point of anger at my younger self for slighting it -- to the point of taking up this project to, in part, explore older albums with great songs that I may have slept on.

favorite(s): No skips! No skips! An amazing album from start to finish. As started, My Blue Heaven has become one of my favorite TBS songs, but Miami and MakeDamnSure are also high on the list. Miami is one of those songs that just makes me want to stand in the middle of the street in my suburban neighborhood at midnight and scream iykyk. and MakeDamnSure is not technically a queer song...but it’s a queer song.

standout lyric: "I'm just asking you to hear me / Could you please, just once, just hear me?”

#one album each day 2k22 #thank you to all of you who actually look at these posts #i keep doing this for you!! #life is so wild right now but i hope i can either remind you of old favorites or introduce new ones!

[mickstart]

what do you think are some iconic/memorable schumi moments? i just got into f1 and would like to know more about him bc somehow i can’t really find anything like that about him.... just stats which are incredibly impressive but i can’t find anything about how he behaved or just anything about his personality..... thanks <3

:) Hi anon, thank you for unleashing the beast.

Ok I love you for asking me this thank you SO MUCH. Welcome to the circus I’m glad you’re here! Also yeah, Schumi is often talked about in terms of statistics and not as a human, Which is a shame bc like! Schumi is fascinating and the dynamics on the grid in late 90s F1 is so much fun! Also, this is mainly going to be late 90s -> early 2010s stuff bc I was born in 98 so uhhh I didn’t properly witness ANY 90s stuff and had to learn about it.

OK so I got super carried away but I’ve divided this into 3 sections: Drives/races that I think showcase some of his talents, human moments we need to talk about more, and Chaotic Little Bitch moments. The key thing to remember w/ Schumi is that he personally tends to be nice but as soon as you put him in a competition, Bastard Mode activates like a cat’s pupils going wide.

I am so sorry for the following short essay. Also some crashes are briefly mentioned but only ones with absolutely no injuries and there’s no details.

Chaotic Little Bitch Moments

Schumi debuted as a SUBSTITUTE driver for Jordan when one of their drivers was in police custody (yes. really.) The highest a Jordan had qualified all year was 10th and in his DEBUT at SPA, one of the toughest tracks, in the middle of the season, Schumi qualified that Jordan 7th! THEN his clutch failed before the first lap was even complete, but Benetton and Jordan WENT TO COURT to fight each other to sign him for their team before the next race in Monza. He couldn’t debut normally he HAD to cause a scene and set the tone.

The Red Strings of Fate: He qualified 7th, his iconic 7 starred helmet, his first victory next year was ALSO at Spa - his first complete race would be at Monza, Ferrari Holy Ground, and he finished 5th which 👀 1) he was immediately racing with The Greats. 2) Mr 5 Championships With Ferrari.

Winning a race by taking a stop and go penalty on the last lap, crossing the finish line in the pits, and making such a complicated argument about said penalty that in a hearing that was SUPPOSED to be Mclaren protesting the race result the stewards scrapped the entire penalty and the 3 who awarded it handed in their licenses??? Iconic.

Austria 2002 where Rubens was ordered to give the win to Michael. And then Michael fucking made him stand on the top step on the podium like “oh no no no RUBENS deserves this” and made a big SHOW out of it and its like “Michael stop you’re not making it heartwarming you’re making it WORSE Michael STOP” The Tension of germany 2010 podium VS the theatricality of THIS podium.

Team orders were banned because of this which also makes this indirectly responsible for Fernando Is Faster Than You having to be a coded message. You can’t escape him,

Blocking Alonso in Monaco qualifying and then, years later in 2010, overtaking Alonso technically illegally at Monaco (the race was ending under safety car, but the safety car doesn’t lead them over the line it pits and they’d crossed the safety car line and the regulations were NOT specific about the rules) and getting a 20 second penalty bc Damon Hill was a steward. Haunting FERNANDO specifically at Monaco like the ghost of christmas past? Getting a harsh penalty because ANOTHER driver he’d fucked over was a steward? Forcing the FIA to rewrite the rulebook to account for his nonsense when he was in his FOURTIES? I don’t know another chaos king.

Winning the 1995 championship by crashing into Damon Hill, getting AWAY with it for some reason, and then trying to do the same thing in 1997 to Villeneuve, failing to do so and simply rebounding off of him harmlessly, almost COMICALLY, and beaching his own car in a gravel trap at which point the FIA said “I have had ENOUGH of you Wacky Races Man!” and disqualified him from the entire championship

Forcing Mika off the track so bad at Spa 2000 that Mika realized the only way he was gonna be able to get past him was to re-invent the overtake and go for it whilst they were passing a backmarker. (The overtake itself is at 2:05 in the video but the build up to it is Important bc the key part it’s not just badass, it only happened bc Mika knew who he was dealing with.)

Spa 1998 was a Ridiculously Chaotic race it truly was the Mugello 2020 of its year, and after a crash at the start that took out almost the entire grid Schumi accidentally collided with Coulthard later in the race. (The teams used to have a spare car at every race then, so the race was able to continue after a restart.) This wasn’t a racing thing, Coulthard was getting lapped. So something in Schumi SNAPS, and he storms down the pitlane and tries to fight Coulthard while the mclaren and ferrari mechanics both hold him back and finally drag him away. He projected into the future, saw Coulthard was gonna talk non-stop shit about Seb, and acted accordingly.

Monaco 2012 Pole don’t talk to me about this I still can’t believe the audacity of this man to get the only pole of his comeback, at MONACO, at the ONE RACE where he had a 5 place grid penalty to take!!

In general, I know Cheating Bad but. I HAVE to admire the brainpower it must take to have the rulebook so memorized that whilst driving an F1 car Schumi could spot a loophole the size of the eye of a needle and then dance through it, forcing the FIA to add ANOTHER page to the rule book specially for him bc nobody else even REALISED that loophole existed.

Human Moments

A quick rant about Mika and Schumi’s entire friendship. After Spa 2000 Mika goes up to Michael, says something like “Don’t ever do that again” then they’re friends again. They had this mutual understanding that Racing was not Reality. This goes all the way back to their F3 days they were rivals AND friends for their entire career. They truly were the Sewis of the era if Sebastian was like 50% more evil. Their entire dynamic is “You’re the only motherfucker in this pit lane who can handle me”. Schumi would do some bullshit and every other driver would throw up their hands in frustration and Mika would just go “Okay” and drive better to put him in his place bc he was the only one who could keep up, and Schumi very visibly LOVED that he’s grinning after Mika owns his entire ass with that overtake at Spa. They were unstoppable force meets immovable object and I’m so sad their rivalry isn’t more talked about bc the way Mika is the only driver who can get him to behave like a normal human being is SO entertaining.

This is a sad one so I won’t link it but he started crying in the 2000 Monza press-conference with his brother and Mika when he equaled one of Senna’s records. The press kept trying to ask questions about it and Mika just has this death grip on his shoulder and tries to get them to stop or let them take a break and it’s so sad but also important to know about.

Once said he didn’t want Mick to race in F1 bc the pressure of his name would put Mick under so much stress and he wanted his son to be happy. (He fully supported Mick in his endeavors! But only after making absolutely sure it was what Mick wanted, and making sure he knew he could just race for fun if he wanted and it didn’t have to be F1)

This whole interview just after Mick was born with the Schumacher family. Special shout out to Gina on his head the entire video and also Corinna talking to the press while Michael is captivated by Mick. Me too Michael.

Once allegedly pleaded to take a stray kitten home from the track?

I reblogged this yesterday but. Sticking like glue to Sebastian at an F1 test and immediately being like “This is my new son he’s gonna go far”. There’s a lot of pictures out there also of Michael being a guest at the karting races Seb went to as a kid and baby Seb visibly losing his fucking mind at being given a trophy by his idol. Every day of my life I think about him trying to ruffle Seb’s hair through his helmet at Brazil 2012

WInning the championship in 2000. Him thanking the entire team individually and pausing mid-celebration to kiss his wife Corinna so tenderly it’s in the F1 opening. Also, the way it literally cuts from the rest of McLaren looking like they’re attending a funeral to Mika grinning at him and hugging him fucking SENDSSSSS me.

Schumi was a little shit in all the 2010-12 press conferences like, lowering Lewis’ chair, playing with a microphone wire, but ESPECIALLY corrupting baby Seb and getting him to mess with Nico Rosberg.

He’s just GOOFY! Like I refuse to let him be remembered as a terrifying force of nature he was so goofy kind of similarly to Seb. PLEASE watch this incredibly awkward interview he did with Coulthard on a golf buggy where they both had to pretend they hadn’t thought about murdering each other at least once. I think Sky F1 should force Brocedes to do this when covid’s over. “Do you mind if I drive?” “Yes.”

EDIT: I CANNOT BELIEVE I forgot the 1999 Canada press conference where Eddie Irvine and Mika Hakkinen get into a water fight and Schumi immediately grabs a towel and hides behind it and is like “I had NOTHING to do with it” 🥺 adorable, actually

A lot of people at Ferrari, including Rob Smedley (who was on the other side of the garage with Felipe Massa so not in his inner circle) have said that a lot of the success of the team came from Schumi’s LEADERSHIP more than anything, that he’d make the team get together to bond all the time. When Schumi moved to Ferrari in 1996 they were NOT dominant. He did the same thing Lewis did - went to a team that everybody said would be a huge mistake and helped build them up behind the scenes.

THIS bit of the Canada 2011 Rewind where his engineer gives him the strategy and he’s like “... OkaAaAaAay?” and then when it turns out to be the wrong strategy he cheerfully tells them it’s too late. Little shit.

Speaking of Mercedes I also wanna say that like. They were a MESS in 2012 and his car DNF’d because of a failing on their part MULTIPLE times. (In Canada qualifying his DRS was stuck open and they couldn’t close it.) He did not say a single bad word about them EVER even though the press used this to attack him non-stop as washed-up and bad without Ferrari to cheat for him. At Ferrari he was the exact same with the team, any bastard antics Schumi had for his rivals did not extend to the engineers and crew.

OK this one is soured bc Top Gear is trash BUT if you were like, a kid in England who followed motorsports? Schumi’s fake reveal as The Stig on Top Gear was like the coolest, sickest thing,

Please view this image of Schumi and Mika when they were young and stupid

Iconic Races

ok so I have limited myself to a few races that show off some of his key strengths!

Hungary 1998 / France 2004 - STRATEGY/SPEED - Schumi switched to a 3 stop strategy in 98 and a FOUR STOP strategy in 04 and won both races. In order for the strategy call to work he’d have to basically make every single lap a qualifying style ‘flying lap’ and you best fucking believe he DID THAT. God I fucking miss when Ferrari was the king of strategy.

Argentina 1998 -  has it all. Talent, battling Mika, pit lane mind games with mclaren, and bullying coulthard xxx

Spain 1996 / a majority of the wet races - RAIN - One of Schumi’s nicknames was Rain Master bc he was so fucking good in the wet. If it started raining and you were a Schumi stan you were cackling evilly before the red lights even went out. I single out 1996 bc it was his first win for Ferrari and it was unexpected but in most wet races, even Canada 2011 post comeback, you can see Schumi thriving.

Malaysia 1999 - Schumi missed pretty much the entire second half of the season with a broken leg, came back for the last 2 races with everybody murmuring about whether he would struggle, and immediately put the Ferrari on pole. Also worth noting is that he was the number 2 driver for these 2 races bc his teammate Irvine was fighting Mika for the championship and he went along with that without complaint, allowing Ferrari to win the constructor’s championship if not the driver’s.

Monza 2002, 03, 04, or 06 just because it has the energy of the tifosi kneeling at the feet of an idol to their red god.

Brazil 2006 - Fuck All Y’all - Schumi’s last race for Ferrari. He got a puncture and ended up almost lapped, and then drove his way back from that to 4th bc he couldn’t go out without reminding us he’s a bad bitch.

Monza 2012 - Defending - Don’t tell F1 Twitter that there’s actual footage of Lewis and Michael having a genuine lengthy battle on track but DO watch Michael defending like a motherfucker and Lewis breathing down his neck for half the race we need to talk about this more.

Valencia 2012 - This isn’t necessarily anything special but I cried in my living room over the only podium of his comeback so it goes on here. It doesn’t have the same impact if you haven’t been watching him struggle with the car for years, DNF-ing from car failure most of 2012, and having BBC F1 telling you he’s washed up every single weekend, but you can just enjoy one of the best drives of FERNANDO’S entire career as he DRAGS that Ferrari by its hair to a home grand prix win and then watch the crowds embrace him like jesus and also Schumi being happy on the podium. Also, the very start of this clip from the press conference: him forgetting what language he’s supposed to be speaking 

Basically, Schumi was a hyper-competitive ambitious bitch who turned into a goofball as soon as he switched the engine off. This is by NO MEANS everything if I was making an exhaustive best races guide I’d do more research and another post but I hope this is what you were looking for?? THANK YOU SO MUCH for letting me go MAXIMUM SPECIAL INTEREST and I apologize.

#asks #Schumi #Mika #Alonso #long post #god I'm so fucking sorry #Anonymous #This is not comprehensive bc I didn't want to accidentally turn this into a whole research project especially if you're new to it!

[nobody-knose--archive]

i’ve been aching to commentate spirit phone’s commentary for ages. glad i finally got around to it, this was an ejoyable experience. liveblog below the cut

-i'm like half certain i've heard this commentary before. maybe not the whole way through & it was probably actual years ago

-nice hearing stuff like this. in-depth personal view of the album-making process. makes it seem like more of a real thing i could do myself someday

-neil cicierega real person momence

-i could probably go real in depth about neil cicierega/tally hall parallels specifically concerning like. the arc of their musical careers. but i won't, here

-wild how i legitimately don't care much about micheal jackson

-didnt we get a bunch of spirit phone stems from the needlejuice release/his patreon? we could probably hear the funny track he speaks of here in that

-i love hearing musical artists, especially neil cicierega, talking about the meanings of their songs. like, not only has this song been claimed to hell & back by the tumblr gays, but with later ones i just can't see where he gets these ideas from. also, claiming there's any one meaning or plot to a song just seems silly to me

-shoutout to neil reusing a midi from like, 1998, that he made at 12 years old, whose entire melody was reused for the main verses of everybody loves raymond. loved finding that out on my own 2 years ago. now it's common trivia in this fandom. not bad times

-it'd be neat if neil did individual trans tracks here like he did with view monstel, those things are half of why i consider it my favorite album

-it's a lot easier to ignore the creator's intended meaning behind a song when he can't even remember it. thanks neil

-seesaw effect

-and there's my joke all but 1 of my followers wont get. moving on

-what kinds of movie theater lobbies has neil been to where there are arcade machines. i mean im not one to talk but that does sound rather strange

-why do songs' titles even need to be taken from the lyrics. ive never seen that as any sort of requisite. it's like titling any form of prose you can just give it whatever name ya like

-"this part sounds pretty cool right"

-is neil's vocal range only mildly better than mine? with training i could change that

-oh i haven't processed any of the last 25 seconds hold on

-god. a shit ton of vocal modification in this song. it's like neil returned to his roots but with quality this time

-i, as an ace/aro, have never related more to an allohet guy in my life. what is the point of eyes!

-professional humming/whistling takes skill. it's different from the recreational or casual stuff. i'd know

-there's a name for the way sound (especially music) gets distorted when moving past you and i can't remember it but it's probably what neil's referring to here in the way he recorded the intro

(- update: it's the doppler effect no need to tell me cas already did)

-as someone who hasnt seen the rugrats or take me there by blackstreet i'll just say it sounded like a bouncy music box melody. nice to hear a song that messes with the typical scales though. lydian & diatonic.

-that's a rather specific thing to be glad about, but given what he talked about in his last full audio commentary about the jew harp i suppose i'm not surprised

-i know that tmbg song now. listened to it & saw the music video too. yep they're different alright

-where the hell does neil get all these instrumence from anyway

-huh. hadnt heard this part of the commentary before making my oc concerning this song but i like to hear neil's approval concerning part of my interpretation

-i love how ive heard a billion different tellings of this mellified man story from lem dem fans talking about this song and neil's is by far the wildest

-good god that does only make it worse neil

-i love making liveblogs of lemon demon albums. with the fullerenes or tally hall i cant name a specific dude to take out my woes on generally but with lemon demon i can just say neil all the time. i like being on a casual first name basis with this dude ive never interacted with once ever

-is sweet bod the one other than cabinet man with a demo in the bonus tracks? i forget

-holy shit the boston molasses disaster someone call up soapy if it doesnt already know, it'd love this

-two thousand nine. god i miss the fiddle solo. the ver with it is truly the best one

-he pronounces it jeff? i've always read it as gef with a hard g. that's what i get for knowing words that are never spoken aloud

-that's a fun meta interpretation of this ghost story that's over a century old. i like that

-i've noticed neil generally does the same synths across a whole album. it's especially more clear in the earlier ones, and does mean i occasionally mix up songs between clown circus & live from the haunted candle shop

-ah! ancient aliens! my least favorite track on this album. i cant even claim to have the least interest in a popular one i've just generally not liked this one much from the beginning. so im curious to see what neil's got to say, i think ive been in ~new commentary zone for a while now

-anyway. newest update on the loolin not realizing a song's funky time signature front: i think this one's in 6/4. or at least switches a lot between time signatures. granted i dont listen to it very often for the reasons stated above

-see the way neil describes it. eldritch horror upon being visited by the unknown at a time when humanity'd hadn't even yet had a chance to imagine such a thing occurring. should be right up my alley. but the sound itself & many of the lyrics simply turn me away.

-must i specify i don't dislike it? spirit phone is neil's best album it not being my favorite doesn't mean i think it's bad yadda yadda nobody should be surprised by this it's not like anyone in these fandoms reads my liveblogs <3

-granted i think this is. the first bit of spirit phone content i've made on my blog ever. so who knows things can change <3

-the transitions in spirit phone are much less view-monster transition tracks & more extended outros. view-monster's were a bit more intro than outro sure but they also seemed directed upon making a 2-way rather than 1-way bridge between tracks. or something like that

-.............soft fuzzy man is an incredible nickname for a cat. i'd steal that if i werent afraid of introducing my relatives to lemon demon

-jirls

-an underlying metaphor is good enough. the literal side of the lyrics are fun. nothing but agreement here neil my good man

-the transition into as your father i expressly forbid it from soft fuzzy man is the best one in this album

-buddy you ask if a musical idea has been used before odds are the answer is yes in this day & age the question is has it been used in the way you're using it. like sure this soul jazz record from the 60s that was sold out in kansas stores for a week used this bassline that youve found yourself copying. but seeing as youre using it in some angsty garage rock ballad type tune does anybody actually care

-doesn't everybody like to say things in an unhinged manner from time to time

-imagine having a guitar dad, i say, with my dad being a folk accordion/fiddle dad, which is infinitely worse in every way

-i think he was in an actual folk band at some point. idk the 90s were weird

-iron my life?

-m-more intimate? there are a lot of ways i'd describe this song but intimate isn't one of them. granted as your father is negatively intimate so from there i guess you've got nowhere to go but up

-...still glad to see his interpretation kinda supports my oc at least

-the way he says characters in songs shouldn't worry about death really strongly makes me think this is some sort of. thematic continuation of stuck from dinosaurchestra, even if there's no real death in there. interesting. would also mean that the dad from these past 2 songs is named carlos betty (no last name)

-i literally never assumed this was a flute solo. piccolo at best. it's pretty clearly a recorder

-my mom plays the recorder. i wonder if she can play recorder better than neil cicierega

-we can throw a party in honor of the crushing weight of responsibility! i simply won't be the one throwing it because i have enough on my plate already <3

-what the hell does "a sense of intent" mean

-i've never heard rush before however i disagree with neil's understanding of 6/4. 6/4 is meant to have emphasis (onbeat or another term i can't remember) on the 1st & 4th beat of every measure, which is greatly different from a measure of 4/4 then a measure of 2/4. it's why his 5/4 always sounds weird, because while it's recognizable in sequences of 10/4, it's more 2 measures of 4/4 with one of 2/4 tacked on the end. that's also how it's different from 3/4. i don't know much music theory but what i do understand i will fight to the death about

-"canonized" that's. a very interesting term to use when referring to a former president

-from now on i will interpret every love song directed at some unseen "you" to be inviting me to marry them for tax purposes. thanks neil for being an aromantic icon

-ah hell yes hell yes man-made object is my favorite goddam song on this album

-short & sweet & good damn vibes. neil's thoughts on it all are only making it better

-wild how he uses very few vocal effects for a song that he clearly is straining his vocal range for. go off neil

-the qualifier of man-made is a wonderful thing. oldest or biggest thing? oldest or biggest man-made thing? what a incredibly important specification. a world of possibilities lie between the two. oh i love it

-just gets me thinking yknow! what we consider weird/impressive in another species, in our own species- what kind of equivalent to that would there be from an outsider looking in? are there alien versions of the significances we place upon things, that we could never imagine? the limits of the human imagination mean we could never conceive of something else in the world that isn't, in some way great or small, just like us- and are we wrong for thinking that? such a juicy topic i wish there were a name for it because it's kinda hard to explain concisely

-spiral of ants. my second favorite song from this album, in fact. a good one to experience

-the vocals are just another instrument. they really truly are. i wasn't going into this commentary expecting to feel solidarity for neil cicierega in this chili's tonight on more than one occasion but here i am.

-like, his whole stance on interpreting songs is something i agree with almost entirely. you can take it at face value, you can dig to their very depths, you can listen to songs without caring what the lyrics mean whatsoever, and those are all fun. & yeah while any of these people can be annoying as one of the types who enjoys gliding on the surface more than anything i find those who dedicate themselves to figuring out the whole meaning of a song over anything else to be both slightly scary & slightly annoying <3 keep up the good work

-i want to make songs for my siblings the way neil makes songs for his sibling(s)

-spinch

-neil really shouldn't be allowed to be this funny like this whole album youre thinking golly! he's just a normal man this neil cicierega! and then he starts listing the cat hacks jokes & you remember he's had ridiculously consistent viral success with all his humorous endeavors and holy shit it's neil cicierega in action talking about his music. god bless you neil

-you're welcome, no problem, my pleasure. good eveternoon, radio audience!

#lemon demon #spirit phone #pretty sure this is my first bit of spirit phone content on my blog. hi greater lem dem fandom nice to see y'all. go listen to deporitaz #loolin liveblogs #i enjoyed this less for the content the commentary contained & more for the way i handled it. more pleasant than some times ive had #tis i #i havent listened to spirit phone in general in ages. i know why. so this was nice #to the world and back again

[class1akids]

It’s Pro-Hero Arc day...

and here is a post that nobody asked for, telling you, why it’s one of my all time favorites. 

1. Endeavor

This is one of the best fights in the manga. Full stop. I went into this arc not liking Endeavor whatsoever (I still don’t like him) and yet his fight with the Nomu pulled me in. I started to see things I liked about him, like his dry sense of humor, or his inability to give up. From the awkward moments of Endeavor standing uncomfortably in the spotlight he so craved all his life and now full of insecurities if he’s up to the job, to the self-assured way he thinks this is his moment to shine, to him falling, and getting up and fighting to the background noise of the naysayers who only care about winners, as his family, the ones he hurt so bad are the only ones that truly care about him despite themselves. And all the way to the end, when he realizes that the strength-crazed monster his fighting is himself.

 I love that in order to win he has to take the fall, not knowing if there’d be anyone to catch him. 

2. Hawks

I love Hawks. He’s cheeky, he’s cool, we have no idea what game he’s playing, he runs circles around a totally befuddled Endeavor. He’s stirring up trouble, but he also sticks around to see it through. He’s really a No. 2. like Endeavor totally doesn’t deserve, like the one he never was to All Might. The one who’ll push the No. 1. forward.  Like look at this image! he’s literally giving Endeavor wings.

I love how from the initial unease, Endeavor comes to genuinely care about Hawks by the end of their fight and the guy who was always about himself becomes a true believer of team-ups.  Also look at this fucking foreshadowing here.

3. The Todoroki-family

The true stars of this arc! I mean it. It’s their reactions that makes me emotionally invested in the fight.

We get to see Natsuo! He’s such a great character - he feels so real, being torn between his resentment and trying to be a decent person to the rest of his family.  And more Fuyumi!!! She has such a good heart and a deep understanding of Endeavor’s character.

And we see Rei smile because Shouto writes her letters and it’s like the best little detail ever. 

4. Shouto

Gosh, he’s breakdown in the common room is so heartbreaking. After everything Endeavor put him through, he still cares about him - it just bursts out of him. 

And I love that his friends are there for him, showing that whatever he’s going through, he has so much support compared to the lonely, cold boy who joined the class all those months ago. 

5. The media circus and Can’t-ya-see-kun

The reporting throughout and after the fight gives such a taste of the role of the media in lifting up and pushing down heroes. The media that wants easy wins and flashy smiles and doesn’t care about the heroes that struggle. 

And ironically, for Endeavor who never appreciated his fans, it’s one of his true fans who turns the public opinion and becomes an in-universe meme. 

6. The first iconic Todoroki-family dinner

I was worried that now that Endeavor won, suddenly all is forgiven. But Hori said “SLUUUUURP!” and as Endeavor’s family were the ones truly rooting for the man even when the fight didn’t look good, they are the ones that continue to hold him responsible. 

And their different reactions, from Fuyumi’s eagerness to forgive, to Shouto’s measured response, to Natsuo’s outburst - they are the best part of this redemption arc.

7. Dabi showing up for a chilling moment 

I can’t believe we are still blue-balled on this reveal. 

8. The first taste of Queen Mirko

And how cool that just as we get this in the anime, Hori is doing the reverse in the manga, Endeavor dropping in to save Mirko

9. First glimpses into Hawks backstory, and the spy drama that is playing out

Like, I always had a bad feeling about hero society, but it’s through Hawks’ backstory that we slowly get the reveal of the Hero Commission as the rotten heart of it all. 

10. Aizawa and Shouto 

The little details of how Aizawa wears mismatched slippers in his hurry to get to Shouto or how he personally drives him home for the family meal (and is playing with a cat outside)! I love Dadzawa this arc.

#bnha #bnha meta #pro-hero arc #endeavor #Hawks #keeping up with the todorokis #todoroki shouto #todoroki natsuo #todoroki fuyumi #todoroki rei #mirko #dabi/touya #dabi #aizawa shouta

[cometcrystal]

favorite & least favorite scooby monsters by series

stipulations: the racist ones (zen tuo, the witch doctors, etc) would all get “least fav” by default so i’m gonna exclude them from this list so i’m not being redundant. we all know the racist ones are the worst. so these are my least favs that aren’t like. problematic.

ALSO it has to be a person in disguise OR an actual monster. it can’t be a villain that’s grounded in reality. so while i love professor huh, he doesn’t count here cause he’s a human and just Like That. likewise, i hate pericles, but he doesn’t count here cause he’s a bird and thus neither a guy in a mask nor a monster

sdway

fav - honestly a tie between the space kook and charlie. literally the GOATs. legends. 

least fav - THE ZOMBIE. FUCK THAT THING I HATE IT SO MUCH IT DOES NOTHING AND YET IT GETS MERCH

new sd movies

fav - moat monster. its just a big ol frog!

least fav - the ghost of redbeard. come the fuck on guys

the rest under the cut

tsds

fav - 10000 volt ghost and the technicolor ghosts. ik theyre just recolors of the giggling green ghosts but THEYRE ICE CREAM THEMED!! the creepy heap from the deep is also scary to me like if i saw him i’d run. honorary mentions are the skeleton men bc theyre cyclops but scooby doo doesnt care about calling stuff what it is and i think its funny and also i like the pterodactyl ghost. this show had a lot of good monsters

least fav - the rambling ghost. i dont dislike him but i dont rly DISLIKE any of the monsters from this series so i just picked the sports-themed one

scooby & scrappy

fav - the star creature. this thing is SO damn cool and unique. i also like the neon phantom because... what a weird concept

least fav - the blue scarab. BORING

new scooby & scrappy

fav - i guess the great white shark wins be default because i dont really care abt any of the others from this series. this show’s strength was daphne being back, not the monsters

least fav - phantom of the soaps. what a fucking loser

new sd mysteries 

im gonna keep it real with you chief! i was looking over the list of monsters and i literally dont remember a damn thing about any of them so i must have been disassociating for this entire series

13 ghosts

fav - DEMONDO. a comic book monster??? GOD thats so cool

least fav - nekara. dont take van ghoul away from his kids they need their dad

pup

fav - stinkweed cause i think its one of the only plant monsters scooby has had so far. also the design is very good

least fav - headless skateboarder. simon seville voice marijuana an unlawful substance used to experience artificial highs

wnsd

fav - the leeland brothers but i think its just because i love the chase song from that episode. also the mystery machine because i like when the mystery machine becomes evil and twisted. AND the toxic terror because fight capitalism + good design

least fav - headless snowman. it’s not even headless for god’s sake

sdmi

fav - the entity is honestly a shoo-in. name another scooby villain more evil and with as much impact. honorary mentions are the ghost truck, junk, the horrible herd, and the cicada monolith for some truly unique and scary monster concepts, and to the manticore for being marcie. sdmi had a TON of good ones

least fav - daphne’s writing wakka wakka. for real though fuck the dandy highwayman

bcsd

fav - the ghost of mother wins by FAR. probably the only tv scooby monster that actually legit creeped me out. also the rebooted space kook bc he’s had a glo up. bcsd also has a ton of good monsters!

least fav - the yeti bc the joke about it making no sense was funny but also the yeti itself doesn’t really do that much

guess who 

fav - i love the just so fucked up and twisted sia. its just sia but now shes evil. ALSO the screaming skulls of london & the dinosaurs in weird al ep are very good

least fav - the man-bat because it’s not even the actual dc man-bat it’s just the fucking joker again

scrappy era movies

fav - mirror shaggy. WAY better than werewolf shaggy imo

least fav - i wish i could bash in the skulls of reluctant werewolf’s version of count dracula and his two minions

zombie island era

fav - giant turkey :) & phantom virus! extremely cool monster he’ll zap ya!

least fav - as much as i LOVE the visceral horror and discomfort when fred rips off the zombie’s head cause he thought it was a mask, i just dont care about any of the monsters in zombie island

wnsd movies

fav - the loch ness monster. GENUINELY impressive. also the ghost of cleopatra bc god queen shit. bonus points go to everything in the goblin king

least fav - the chupacabra because THE CUPACABRA IS A DEMON DOG, NOT A BIGFOOT!!! and the yowie yahoo because THE YOWIE IS A BIGFOOT, NOT A VAMPIRE!!! literally how hard is it to do a google search before you design a monster

2002 & monsters unleashed

fav - its gotta be the 10000 volt ghost again. he’s my man

least fav - THE ZOMBIE!!!!!! FUCK THIS THING AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

cartoon network live actions

fav - the ghosts in the first movie SO good guys theyre SO good

least fav - shelma

2010s dtv movies

fav - THE PHANTOSAUR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELL YES & the red ghost from the bobby flay movie is also extremely good imo i LOVE its design. & the multiple phantoms in stage fright. literally name something more iconic than the multiple phantoms

least fav - the big top werewolf.......scooby doo one of the things i love most dearly about you is when you make out-of-place monsters WORK (ex. a gryphon in a stage magic movie) but i really want something more exciting for a circus movie

dtv 20min shorts

fav - cornfield clem is my boy because i never cared about scarecrows before i saw this and he made me care. he and the scarecrow in scary stories to tell in the dark both showed me scarecrows can be interesting. thank u clem i love you.

least fav - i like all these monsters but ill list the sea monster here because just drink him up lol

#scooby doo #scooby meta

[halloweenhorrornightsnerd]

Jack the Clown Canon Lore Rant

- This is all Official Horror Nights Confirmed Canon -

Jack Schmidt the Clown’s Complete Storyline/Lore.

“You see I had a bit of a difficult childhood. My parents wanted a clown for a child so they bought me noses, and big shoes, and big hair. And the children taunted me, they used to tease me, and now it’s my turn!” - Jack the Clown, 2000

Back Lore [Pre-2000] Jack Schmidt was born as John “Jack” Schmidt to two inmates within in Shadybrook Rest Home and Sanitarium (Shadybrook Asylum) along with his brother Eddie in the late 1800’s/early 1900's. Not much is known about Jack's childhood in official canon, however it's highly implied that was he raised solely within Shadybrook Asylum until the fateful day when young Jack made plans to run away and escape the asylum, knowingly unable to bring his brother along and seemingly not caring.

He escaped his no doubt highly abusive family whom resided as patients of the asylum and “ran away to join the circus”, leaving behind his younger brother, Eddie. This is why Jack and Eddie are not on good terms.

Once free from the horrific conditions of Shadybrook, Jack found a traveling carnival titled Dr.Oddfellow’s Carnival Of Thrills, led by the titular ringmaster himself Dr.Oddfellow. Jack joined the traveling carnival and happily worked as a dancing entertainment clown for years. That is until all that aggression and resentment came back when children who attended the carnival began taunting him again. Underneath the greasepaint and clown nose, he was a twisted murderer. He was wanted for the abduction and disappearance of several small children throughout the Southern states. Police officials and the F.B.I. soon caught on that the missing children followed a pattern that led them closer and closer to the traveling freak show.

On Halloween 1920, the police were closing in on the Clown killer. Fearing capture, Jack revealed his sinister secret to Dr. Oddfellow in the hopes of possible concealment. The doctor, himself wanted by the police for the accidental death of several patrons in a freak circus accident years earlier under a different name, was not sympathetic to Jack’s cause. He quickly admonished him for potentially bringing the police down upon the entire band of miscreants. He asked Jack to show him what he had done with the bodies of the children. Jack revealed the bodies of thirteen children hidden in the confines of three small trunks that were kept in his traveling coach.

Fearing the worst, Dr. Oddfellow had Jack murdered. Using his enchanted Cane of Souls, Oddfellow killed Jack and locked his body away in a large prop Jack in The Box type box. Dr.Oddfellow and his gang of carnies had Jack’s body and box hidden within the traveling carnival’s House of Horrors as an exhibit, along with the bodies of the children.

Years later, the Carnival was sold by Dr. Oddfellow, and the various dark rides and exhibits were split and sent to various owners around the states, including the House of Horrors and its grisly secret.

Sixty years later, in the Fall of 1980, a television crew from the BBC was documenting the great Dark Rides of America. They journeyed throughout the eastern seaboard looking for forgotten carnival rides and attractions and stumbled upon the House of Horrors as it sat abandoned in a Louisiana junkyard.The crew asked permission to film the interior, and pried open the doors of the forgotten relic to step inside. The smell of decay was overpowering as the bright camera light illuminated the darkened corridors. Moving past the faded walls and hanging fabric, the smell began to increase. The cameraman wretched as he panned his camera towards a series of trunks. Behind the trunks was a large wooden box stenciled like a children’s toy. One letter filled each side of the box, J-A-C-K.

The cameraman steadied his camera as the host of the show investigated the box. He found a large crank on the side of the box and turned it. It started to move with some resistance, but after a few twists, it freely moved in a clockwise rotation. A clanky musical melody played out as the host turned it. Suddenly, however, the Music stopped and wouldn’t start again with his continued rotations. The camera light suddenly died, and then the crank rotated a few spins on its own. The top of the box flew open and a form sprung out. Affixed to a giant spring was the decomposing body of Jack Schmidt.

After a thorough police investigation, the bodies of the thirteen children as well as the body of Jack were shipped to the local Louisiana coroner’s office for further examination. Around midnight on Halloween 1980, the van carrying the body and box of Jack disappeared into the Louisiana swamp in a freak accident.

Later that week, the bodies of the BBC cameraman and host were found as the victims of a grisly and unsolved murder. Throughout the following years, urban legend retellings of the tale started, with a corresponding story about the decomposing body of Jack killing again. The legend states that Jack is searching for Dr. Oddfellow, in a thirst for vengeance. The legend also states that Jack will reward anyone who releases him from his toy tomb by turning the crank with a very special surprise.

2000 In 2000, Universal Studios bought the old props from the decayed House of Horrors, including what was sold as the box that Jack was trapped in for so many years. Apparently, some poor fool tried to test this claim, and Jack was unleashed on the unsuspecting Halloween Horror Nights guests for the first (but certainly not the last) time. Jack’s presence lingered in some form or fashion throughout the years.

2001 Jack returned to lead the event in 2001, after the real world tragety of 9/11 left the season horror event having to water down their previous plans. The year ran more or less like a re-run so there's not much to go off of here in terms of anything being added to Jack's official canon lore storyline.

2004 Jack was seen in the Horror Night Nightmares house, but we’re gonna emit this from lore because it wasn’t included as part of his lore or storyline and his presence was most probably just a nod to horror nights past and referencing the now familiar icon.

2005 Jack is seen in the Rat Run maze, but we’re gonna emit this from lore because it wasn’t included as part of his lore or storyline and his presence was most probably just a nod to horror nights past and referencing the now familiar icon as well as foreshadowing the next year’s event theme.

2006 Summoned by Darkness, Jack (along with other Icons of the era) ushered in the Halloween Horror Night’s Sweet Sixteen celebration where he ruled alongside of Albert Caine, Paulo Ravinski, and Elsa Strict. However Jack was soon caught by the authorities prior to the event's opening and committed to the place of his birth, Shadybrook Asylum For The Criminally Insane, an institution that had suffered an inmate escape a few years earlier. As an interesting side note, we see that during this time Jack was attempting to write letters to his brother Eddie, whoever they were all returned to sender unopened, implying Eddie's resentment for his brother was still very much present.

Though often isolated in the Maximum Security Ward, Jack’s mere presence seemed to have an adverse effect on the unstable population, who started emulating the crazed clown, much to the staff’s dismay. Eventually, the inmates started a mass riot, gruesomely tortured the hospital staff, and put Jack in charge of the facility. During the chaos, Jack found records that his former boss and murderer, Dr Oddfellow, was still alive (but presumably now a very old man since he had been on the job since the 1920s) and running a small traveling carnival.

Jack left Shadybrook, traveling to the depravity of Dr. Oddfellow’s Dark Carnival and Emporium. In the dark of night, Jack stalked into the tents and took his long-overdue vengeance.When he emerged, he was changed.

During incarceration, Jack got a taste of what it was like to run the show, and he desired to be the ringmaster of his own carnival. He dressed himself in the bright red coat and boots of a proper Ringmaster. He also adorned himself with a crude top hat and terrible trinkets of his liking. He completed the transformation with Dr. Oddfellow’s prized possession (which also presumably what kept Oddfellow alive and in motion for 80 years): a silver-headed Cane of Souls. Putting the Carnival on hiatus, Jack spent the next few months traveling the world to find the right sideshow acts for his deadly Carnival of Carnage. He gathered a plethora of monsters, mutants, madmen and maniacs, many with egos nearly as large as his own, luring them with promises of fame, fortune, showbusiness, and plenty of fresh victims.

2007 After nearly a year of preparation, Ringmaster Jack opened his dark Carnival of Carnage in Orlando, Florida. With his new female sidekick, and heavily implied romantic interest, Chance at his side. It's assumed in canon that after the event ended that the carnival packed up and left town with Jack still leading as ringmaster.

2009 Jack is seen alongside a few other previous icons and characters in the last few nights' pop up scarezone but we’re gonna emit this from lore because it wasn’t even an official scarezone and their presence probably didn’t reflect any actual lore aside from 'hey these beloved characters are here, yay’.

2010

For HHN XX,  Jack, along with the other past icons, had risen up the ranks to become one of the five Harolds of Fear (Lord Adaru) himself. His desire to wreak havoc had truly earned him the title known as “Chaos”. It is heavily implied in a scrapped backstory that Jack, along with the other Harolds, were raised from the dead to partake in HHN XX. While this albeit scrapped part of the canon lore reflects in the other icons that year more so, Jack and Chance both do not seem anymore undead than previously seen at the 2007 event and are both still seemingly working their carnival as one of Jack's fortune teller booths referenced from the '07 event commercial is seen within the scarezone in 2010, although a bit updated with new antique carnival decor.

2012

Jack is revealed to be a Morphan via the official Halloween Horror Nights website.

2014 On Halloween of 2014, the last day of Halloween Horror Nights 24, a package was sent out by Universal to various media outfits, which contained a bloodspotted letter, closed with a wax seal marked with an “S”. Inside the letter was a small flash drive, marked with a white thumbprint and sealed over a strand of orange hair. On the flashdrive was a short clip thanking fans for attending that year’s event. Near the end of the clip, the screen begins to flash with images of Jack laughing while a broken down music box plays Pop Goes The Weasel in the background.

2015 Jack was back with his fellow Harolds, Icons, carnies, and of course Chance, to wreak havoc and chaos upon Horror Nights once again. Seemingly drunk with power, Jack decided he wanted his spotlight back from his former master, Fear, and successfully created a sort of cult around himself, called “Jack’s Maniacs”. With his ego in full swing, he committed himself to prove he was better than Fear, believing himself to be Horror Nights incarnate, and decided to prove that to everyone by expanding and improving on his Carnival of Carnage by making it more terrifying than ever. After the conclusion of the event, in November 2015 it was revealed that Jack and Chance were detained by authorities, with Jack sealed away back into his box, and Chance being committed to Shadybrook Asylum.

2016 - ??? It is currently unknown in canon what became of Jack’s Box after Chance broke out of Shadybrook, but most likely the romantically obsessed clown queen of carnage has it kept safe in her own possession.

While Jack memorabilia has been seen as fan fair easter eggs scattered in different houses and scarezones, we’re going to omit this from lore for now unless/until more of his storyline get’s revealed in future years that may explain that.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I will be updating this master post in the coming years as Jack’s storyline continues with future HHN events!

#jack the clown #hhn icons #hhn lore #hhn storyline #jack schmidt #hhn jack

[hayleysstark]

Top 5 chaotic stupid Brotp's pls i am dying for the dumb, asshole sibling relationship content :D

OH MAN, you know how to live, mon ami(e)!!! you know what’s good!!! MAD respect for you right now, my friend.

5. Poppy and Smidge (Dreamworks’ Trolls)

If you’re looking for “chaotic stupid”, this is seriously the pinnacle of it. Literally. You need look no further, because you will never, ever find a better example of it than this right here. Poppy comes up with crazy ideas, and Smidge happily helps her execute them. That’s literally the plot of every single episode with the two of them. They don’t have enough common sense between them to talk each other out of awful plans, and it’s so fucking funny. They just constantly enable each other. What more could you possibly want.

4. PT Barnum and Phillip Carlyle (The Greatest Showman) 

Well, let’s see, their first proper meeting is in a pub, where they both get blind drunk and start dancing on tables. Oh, and Barnum convinces Carlyle to run away and join the circus. I do not know if I can truly emphasize how chaotic they truly are. iconic. legends. by God, we stan. 

3. Jim Hawkins and John Silver (Treasure Planet)

Only marginally less chaotic stupid. But only marginally. And only because the relationship here is much more of the mentor/mentee or father/son flavor, not the ride-or-die best friend dynamic Smidge and Poppy got going on. Still, the two of them land in a lot of trouble over the course of the film, and in all the other content Disney released for the film (most notably the Treasure Planet: Battle at Procyon computer game and the rough concepts we got for Treasure Planet 2) and every time, they have to do something completely bullshit to get back out of it again, and they just. Do it. and it never gets less funny. please watch this film, you will not be disappointed.

2. Gwaine and Merlin (BBC Merlin)

Gotta admit, this one was a much bigger favorite for me a few years earlier, when I was first getting into the Merlin series, but it’s still a wonderfully wild and lawless alliance!! We see them get in trouble a lot over the course of the show - tavern brawls and bets gone wrong, to name just a few - but they always get out of it again by being even more delightfully stupid and reckless than they had to be to get into it in the first place. fun drinking game: take a shot every time King Arthur finds out about their tomfoolery and yells at them.

1. Hiccup and Toothless (How to Train Your Dragon)

Chaotic stupid? check. big check. dumb assholes??? check and fucking mate, my man. you will literally never get anything as good as these little bastards right here. they are the reason Stoick was going grey in the sequel. all of Berk is literally exhausted just trying to keep up with them and their hijinks. please let the Isle of Berk rest. the Isle of Berk does not deserve this hassle. 

thanks so much for the ask, anon!! 💚

ask me my “top 5″ anything

#ask #anonymous

[jess-rewatches-prodigalson]

Episode 10: Silent Night

This show is taking over my life and I’m not even mad.

Spoilers ahead.

0:28 - This whole scene. Malcolm’s eyes. Holy crap. He looks sad, tired, scared. It utterly breaks my heart.

0:48 -  This is Malcolm descending into a panic attack. :( ALSO though - we have confirmation that Ainsley used the clip of her father screaming about how he was a good father. Did Ainsley also use the clip of her listing her brother’s diagnoses? Because honestly, that would be a terrible sister move. I can’t see Malcolm wanting people to know about his diagnoses unless he really trusts them. Is that why Malcolm’s having the beginnings of a panic attack right now? Because he’s realizing that everyone knows. Or is it simply the fact that his father is triggering bad memories for him? Or is it a combo platter?

1:00 - ICONIC. You know this is hilarious and totally in character for Jessica. BUT I think she threw her shoe because she saw Malcolm panicking and she knew that throwing her shoe would shock him out of a full-blown panic attack. I think that if he wasn’t panicking she would’ve just screamed at him and turned off the TV. 

1:20 - Look at how sad Jessica is here. She isn’t upset that her son isn’t normal or that she’s not getting grandchildren anytime soon. She’s upset that her son isn’t happy and that he’s suffering. She blames herself for it. We saw that in 1x7. 

1:40 - This little conversation between Malcolm and Jessica is really cool. They’re both trying to comfort each other and they’re both concerned for each other. 

2:24 - Reason #1214 (yes- I pulled that number out of thin air) that Malcolm needs some sleep. Or some time off. Or some peace. -- The boy didn’t notice that it was Christmas Eve. I don’t care if you don’t celebrate Christmas - the Christmas season has become a massive corporate holiday. It’s almost impossible to ignore. Between the commercials, decorations, sales, music ... how can you not notice?

2:51 - I adore this moment. Look at how happy Malcolm his watching the children run around happily. I’m telling you we need a scene where bright has to hang out with a little kid. It would be cute. Also - Gil. That look that Gil initially gives Malcolm is a look of pure love. He’s happy to see Malcolm smiling. He’s happy to see Malcolm on a holiday. He’s happy to see Malcolm on Christmas Day. 

3:35 - Personal disclaimer. I immediately hate Colette Swanson. Simply because Malcolm hates her and Malcolm finds it in him to have compassion for murderers. Therefore - this woman must truly suck. 

3:38 - Malcolm looks crushed when he finds out Colette is in charge. Gil is enjoying teasing Malcolm. It’s cute. I like it. 

4:05 - Ok. So 1) Malcolm has gone full-blown manic again. Check out the way he just greeted JT. and 2) I looked it up. Kringle is a Scandinavian pastry. So does this mean that Tally’s family has Scandinavian roots? Or JT does and his wife makes it for him? I need to know. 

4:13 - Dani looks concerned when she asks if Malcolm has seen Ainsley’s interview. This makes me think that Ainsley probably did include the clip where she lists Malcolm’s diagnoses. This makes me sad. It also makes me lose some respect for Ainsley. 

4:37 - How well did Gil know Turner? Gil looks really sad here. Is it sadness because he and Turner were friends? Or just the general sadness that comes over you when you realize that someone you knew died and it makes you remember how fleeting life is?

4:55 - I love how that subtle shot at Malcolm went totally above his head. 

5:19 - Where’s Edrisa? We isn’t the medical crew there? 

5:34 - When Malcolm takes the gun Gil looks a little alarmed and concerned. Then he shares a look with JT. JT looks concerned too. Actually this whole scene - as Bright gestures with the gun the camera keeps cutting to Gil and/or JT and Dani who have matching looks of concern on their faces. 

6:20 - And this is what they were afraid of. The manic idiot, who is clearly not doing well right now, just put a gun to his head. I love how Gil reacts. It’s the same way an angry parent would talk to a misbehaving child. 

6:32 - How much do you want to bet that Gil continued that conversation later. Malcolm’s passive suicidality is really getting out of hand. 

7:28 - This is great. “Sounds like you.” It’s true though. Since his wife died I’m sure Gil threw his whole life into his work. Now he just works or worries about the team. He seems to know it too. The warning look he gives Dani is a look that says “not the time” not “you’re wrong and I’m annoyed at your sass”.

7:50 - Okay. Colette is a b**ch to Bright. Right off the bat. What happened between them?!? Seriously? This is not professional behaviour. This is straight up harassment. The team does Not Look Happy with the way she’s talking to Bright. All three of them look some mixture of annoyed, confused, and concerned. 

8:21 - This whole scene is painful to watch. Colette being more of a b**ch to Malcolm and Malcolm acting like an excited puppy who desperately wants to help. BUT at 8:21 the look JT gives Colette before he walks away. hahahaha I’ve never noticed it before. He’s like “Not my circus, not my monkeys. This woman is cray cray. I’m out.”

8:45 - Love the parallel between 1x5 when Malcolm asks about how Dani knows Estime and here when Dani asks about how Malcolm knows Colette. Also look at Malcolm’s face when he responds. He looks dead inside. I don’t think we’ve ever seen him look at anyone with cold, detached, hatred before. What did this woman do to him?!?

8:50 - Malcolm looks upset here. The way he looks at the ground. Huh. Is Colette just another one of Malcolm’s bullies?

8:58 - I hate how condescending Colette is to everyone in this scene. I love how Dani looks at Gil for guidance on how to respond. Gil looks so mad he’s even refusing to make eye contact with Colette more than strictly necessary. If this woman wasn’t FBI, just a regular member of the NYPD, I swear Gil would lose it on her. 

9:10 - Dani looks so upset that Gil is making her work with Colette. AND look at that little warning look Gil gives Malcolm when he says “you’re with me” AND look at that smile that Gil gave Colette before he walked out. hahaha that was not a kind smile. Gil is my hero. 

9:26 - Honestly I hate this woman more than I hate Martin. Look at how poorly she makes Malcolm feel. Look at how condescending and rude she is to everyone. IS THIS THE UMBRIDGE OF THE PRODIGAL SON FANDOM?!? Because honestly, if she turns out to be a victim in a future episode I won’t even be mad if the plot doesn’t make sense.

9:34 - so Malcolm has a desk again? Or he’s forced to work at his desk because the case board room has been overtaken by the FBI? Either way - Gil looking at Malcolm with concern and sympathy is fuelling my soul. 

9:40 - Ok so two things. 1) Has anyone else noticed that Malcolm only has ONE (1) watch. A brown leather watch. It doesn’t look like a super fancy, expensive watch either. This seems strange for a rich dude (they usually have a lot of watches or at least a fancy Rolex that they show off). I know that doesn’t fit with Malcolm’s personality but the fact that he only wears the one watch makes me headcanon that it was a gift from Gil and Jackie. Maybe when he graduated college or something? THING 2) Is Malcolm avoiding Ainsley’s call because he’s pissed with her about the interview or because he’s got too much going on right now and he can’t handle a drama call from the family?

9:46 - Does Ainsley seriously not feel bad about that interview? I mean she’s asking her brother for a favour right after stabbing him in the back. 

10:21 - Shaky hand, scared eyes. This isn’t good. 

10:38 - Detective Shannon is a dick. I mean. Even if Malcolm was an accomplice to his Dad’s murders - you just don’t talk to a kid like that. Especially if that kid is showing signs of emotional distress like baby Malcolm is in the flashback. The shaking, slight rocking of the body, eyes screwed shut, shaky voice. Poor little guy is terrified. 

11:15 - This suggests that Gil knows about how Shannon treated Bright. How did Gil find out? Recently or when it was happening? What did Gil do/say to Shannon when he found out? Does Jessica know? Is this why Malcolm went mute? Or did this happen after Malcolm started talking again?

 11:31 - Okay so protective/concerned Gil warms my heart. You all know this by now. But look at the moment after Shannon calls Gil “lucky boy”. Gil looks positively furious and Malcolm looks scared. Almost like Shannon’s voice is sending him into a C-PTSD flashback. BUT once Malcolm snaps out of his fear he looks angry and suspicious. 

13:20 - Gil’s quiet warning is awesome. You can tell that he’s not mad at Malcolm. He thinks Malcolm’s little speech is justified. He’s afraid of what this gun toting lunatic might do to Bright if provoked. 

13:34 - This is one of my absolute favourite moments in the show’s history. Look at the way Gil jumps in front of Malcolm and holds Shannon back. That’s partially the cop in him doing his job BUT that’s also a man furious that someone would have the nerve to try and hurt his son.

13:51 - and now Malcolm looks manic again. Gil still looks pissed. 

14:38 - Gil’s taking this case personally. Makes sense, even if he didn’t know Ian Turner very well. Gil is a good man who has a very strong moral code. He’s a protector. It makes sense that he would be pissed that an extremely good man was murdered for no good reason. 

15:25 - Dani, you are my queen. Tell that b**ch that’s she’s out of line. You go girl.

16:00 - Oh no. Dani is questioning Malcolm. Colette is getting into her head. 

16:37 - Okay. It’s Christmas Day. Jessica is supposed to be at home ordering people around to prepare for Christmas dinner. But instead she is at the precinct because Ainsley’s interview is causing her a lot of pain. She’s haunted by the Surgeon and Ainsley’s decided to air out the family issues to the public - thereby giving Jessica no where to hide from her pain. Also - LOVE the way Gil walks in to the room. He knows Jessica is going to come to him with a slightly manic, half-baked plan and/or theory. He’s stressed. He’s in a bad mood. He’s worried about Malcolm and he can’t handle another manic Whitly right now. 

17:20 - Gil doesn’t act surprised that Martin chloroformed Malcolm. When did Gil find out? I would’ve payed good money to see that. Also - how selfless is this dude? He’s clearly an emotional mess right now but he stops everything to try and comfort Jessica. He can’t help but be concerned about her. There are sparks here. Check out the way he holds her hands. Check out the soft look that he gives her.

18:25 - All I’m going to say is that when it comes to Malcolm and Jessica - the apple didn’t fall far from the tree.

19:35 - JT talked to Dani about Malcolm’s date. He was so concerned about Malcolm that he called Dani because he knows they’re close. Do you think they told Gil?!? Or did Malcolm tell Gil?! Gil has to know. Right? 

19:50 - Malcolm, sweetheart. No. Honey, you’re not broken. Look how sad Dani is. She wants to help him. She can see how deep his depression is. This is honestly so concerning. When someone says something like this, sincerely, with that much pain in their eyes - just take them to see a doctor or just have someone stay with them. Please. They need supervision. They might be a danger to themselves. 

20:02 - Ever notice how a lock of Malcolm’s hair falls into his face when his mental and/or physical state starts to get seriously unhinged.

20:46 - Oh. My. Goodness. That Christmas ornament is precious. Look at how happy and cute baby Malcolm and baby Ainsley are. 

21:15 - This is such a good conversation. Usually Jessica is overprotective, overbearing, and somewhat controlling when it comes to her children. However, Jess is totally justified in what she says to Ainsley here. It frustrates me that Ainsley is so upset about it. Ainsley really can’t see how her ambition is destroying her relationship with her family. She can’t see that the actions she’s taking to further her career are at the expense of the mental well-being of her mother and brother. 

21:45 - “You’re playing the victim.” Ouch. That was a low-blow Ainsley. It’s not true either. Your Mom is traumatized. To an extent your mother and brother are victims of the Surgeon. You are too. Your mother just wants some peace and privacy. That’s not unreasonable.

22:50 - Yikes. Has Shannon been following Malcolm? Look how scared Malcolm is. He’s so much more terrified of Shannon now that Gil isn’t with him. You know how we can be sure that Malcolm is a good person? He actually looks sympathetic towards Shannon. Upset for Shannon.  ALSO quick side note - is Malcolm holding a pie? Did he buy a pie to bring to the family Christmas dinner? Why is that making my heart melt?

25:03 - Pissed Gil is such a mood. 

26:24 - Anyone else find it concerning that Malcolm is so desperate to catch the Junkyard Killer and to get answers about that camping trip that he is willing to get in a car and go to a random garage with the ex-detective who traumatized him? Also - they have surveillance pictures of baby Malcolm? Isn’t that illegal? I didn’t think you could photograph minors like that?

28:15 - Shannon just won over Malcolm. Look at that sadness and compassion in Malcolm’s eyes. Dang. That’s kind of sweet? Shannon’s still a dick though.

29:25 - Sometimes when Malcolm starts being sincere, soft, and supportive - I swear I’m watching him channel Gil. 

30:02 - Anyone else think it’s weird that they left the car running outside with the headlights on? Just me? Ok. Carry on.

30:11 - How poetic that John Watkins is near the end of the list, alphabetically speaking, so it’s one of the last names they check.

30:50 - Malcolm looks downright terrified when Shannon shows him his gun. 

31:35 - haha Gil is so exhausted here. Look at him when Bright hangs up. Gil’s like, “Of course. What did I expect? I can’t control this man-child. Please remind me why I love him before I do something I regret.”

31:50 - This is Granny immediately strikes me as really weird. Like more than just regular nutty old-lady weird. 

33:10 - Look how uncomfortable Malcolm looks around Matilda. He’s interested in John’s childhood and he’s still working the case but he’s clearly freaked out by Granny over here. 

34:39 - Malcolm’s eyes are looking hella manic again.

34:50 - OMG. hahaha Malcolm looks horrified when Matilda pours that gravy stuff on his food. I’m shocked that he didn’t puke. 

36:00 - This photo album is...wow. Really increases the creepy factor of this case. 

38:45 - This conversation between Colette and Gil is awesome. Gil is scared. He’s trying to protect Bright but he’s also knows that he needs help. Dani and JT look scared. 

39:27 - OMG. I didn’t like Shannon but he didn’t deserve that. 

39:48 - So Matilda is kind of a serial killer too. Right? She knew her grandson was a murder and she helped him. She condoned it. She’s as bad as he is. 

40:45 - Oh Jessica is desperate. She’s totally throwing Gil under the bus here. She wouldn’t do that unless she was desperate. 

41:25 - Dani and Gil look terrified. OMG. My heart is breaking. 

42:20 - Malcolm has that knife right in front of his mother’s townhouse. So I guess Martin was lying in 1x7 when he said they bought it off the turnpike in New Jersey during their camping trip. 

So...things are getting scary for Malcolm. Thanks for hanging out Prodigies. 

#prodigal son #jess-rewatches-prodigal #malcolm bright #whitly #ainsley whitly #jessica whitly #martin whitly #gil arroyo #jt tarmel #edrisa tanaka #dani powell #this show is almost perfect #i love this show #whump #malcolm needs a hug #so good #rewatch #spoilers #ps #john watkins #e:10 #1x10 #silent night #s1

[fank0ne]

Let's get it started.

- CHICAGO MED:

Sexcel. Marcel is a prick but I still kinda love him..? I don't know, it's not my fault, leave me alone. For real though, I really like him as a doctor, he seems like he really knows what he's doing, and as a human being... nobody's perfect, right? LOL I don't even think he should be considered the cause of Chexton drama to be honest: maybe trying to get in April's pants wasn't the right move, but he's not the one in a relationship. There's only one person to blame.

Chexton. Ethan really did put a ring on it, uh?! And she said yes, too. Wow, I admire the audacity! Do I think the marriage is gonna occur? The fuck not, he is somehow gonna find out about the Sexcel kiss and call the engagement off. Happy endings? We don't know 'em.

April. Wow, she's really decided to not tell Ethan about the kiss with Crockett! Gross. As I said before, I hate liars... I could've understand if the kiss was like - little crossover - Renée and Kelly's at the end of season 5 (was it season 5? I'm dumb lol), but it seems like it was a big deal for April. She herself said, correct me if I'm wrong, that things could've quickly gotten out of control. Like, excuse me?!

Will and Nat. So are they still gonna let them fight and annoy the hell out of me? Is this a fucking curse or something? Oh my god. This time I'm not on anybody's side, the fight was dumb (not the topic itself, but the way the whole thing was managed) and could've easily been avoided: Will needed to do a more thorough check on that junkie mama and Natalie should've told him she was gonna contact CPS whether he liked it or not. You see how simple it is? Fuck, I hate them so much. (Nick/Will looked really good with that shirt in his last scene - his shoulders are very sexy).

Elsa. She's a baby, I wanna protect her. And she smiled, she so cute. And she's gay af - quick reminder, in case you think that shipping her with Will can even remotely be a good idea (jk, y'all know me, you do you).

Daniel. The scene of him singing for his CeCe at Molly's was truly heartbreaking to see. By the way, Oliver has a nice voice, our cast is multitalented! Dr. Charles has a history with depression, though, so I hope he's gonna take care of himself, a thing he seems determined to do, maybe with the help of Sharon - and Elsa too, they're starting to bond.

Maggie and Ben. They're cute, yeah, Ben is in remission and I'm happy for him. But I honestly don't really care about them as a couple to be honest... There's nothing wrong with them, I'm just not interested. Stop.

Quick question: can they change Dr. Marcel's name, please? I mean, when she confessed the whole thing to Maggie, April's voice was trembling, her eyes were watery, but I couldn't help but laugh at her: "I kissed Crockett" LMFAO, you kissed who?! Like, c'mon, what kind of garbage name is that? Gross. *almost throws up*

- CHICAGO FIRE:

Seager. She was ridiculously embarrassing. At first I thought she was gonna accept the fact that Severide is already taken (even though he didn't tell her explicitly from the beginning, so it's partly his fault too, kinda), but when she asked him out after seeing him and Stella clearly acting as a couple, I lost my cool. Bye, Felicia. I'm so glad Kelly told her he's not interested and, y'all, did you see how he looked at Stella and could tell the situation was making her uncomfortable? Wow, couple goals. I'm waiting for a proposal by the end of the season.

Pickles? Foster... I like her, I hate her, I don't know. She's too moody. The fight with Brett was honestly very childish and uncalled for and I'm glad Sylvie stood up for herself and put Emily in her place. Plus, she did it in such a well-mannered and polite way... she's a princess, what can I say. Stella speech about girls sticking up for each other... Yes! Just yes.

Blake. I'm not gonna censor myself: he likes pussy..? Yikes. You guys know I was already starting to ship him with Ritter, but the writers had to ruin it for me. It's ok, I guess. For the moment I'm not really interested in his relationship with that girl (maybe I'm still bitter LMFAO), even though she seems really cool.

Ritter. When are we gonna see his boyfriend?! Damn, those writers! Blake joined 51 just the other day and we already know every little thing about him, I ask to see just a bit of LGBTQ+ content and they act like they're dumb..? How about you show it properly instead of just mentioning it and act like your job is done, mh? I'm ready to fight, I don't care.

Whose tool? : Our tool = What team? : Wildcats! — SAME ENERGY.

Iconic lines: "I'm gay, I'm not blind" + "I know it's hard to imagine with your emails and Facebook and Myspace...," – Mouch, Myspace? In 2020? Ok Boomer (I had to, I'm not sorry)

- CHICAGO PD:

Well well. We've been robbed. We're not clowns, we're the whole circus. The episode wasn't bad at all, I liked it, but still, what the fuck was that?! We've been waiting for more than a month to see some really angsty, whumpy stuff, the episode was supposed to be Jay centered and what did we get? A lame murder case that somehow became interesting only when Kevin and his brother got involved.

Don't get me wrong, I'm glad my baby Kev gets to get more screentime (it was about time!), but why giving him now and not the next episode? What's the logic in this?

The beginning wasn't even bad, the premises were good. It was all very serious and solemn and all that good stuff we like and then, boom!, they said fuck that, fuck Jay Halstead, fuck you clowns who thought we were gonna treat him with the respect he deserves. Man was literally about to die and then suddenly he's fine, he talks (Jesse was making the voice he uses to imitate Jason, I heard that!), he even jokes around... Like, make it make sense. I'm frustrated. I wanna say a whole lotta other things, but yeah, I hope you get my point.

The Upstead content was kind of a payoff but yeah, still better than nothing. And about that... that fucking phone, really? Hailey was about to confess her feelings, or at least say something really serious to Jay, but of course they were interrupted. As I said, we're clowns. And Jay was ready: my man was so ready to get out of the friendozone, I saw that smirk that slowly faded into a disappointed look. We'll get there, Jay, I probably want it more than you do LOL

Vanessa's gonna be the godmother of Upstesd children. She ships them so much, cutie. "It's hard because you love him" - "Of course I love him, he's my partner" Hailey, sis, stfu and stop lying.

Burzek. They're having a baby, I'm so happy, I'm gonna cry. The little Alvin Ruzek (Kev is gonna be their godfather, I don't make the rules) is gonna be the Intelligence unit mascotte. I'm so ready. Yo, we're having this baby, right? No funny business here, they already broke our hearts with Dawsey twice. Also, did you notice how Adam screamed Kim's name when he thought the million bullets might've hit her and the baby. OMG gheyret having a baby. Whew, I'm not crying, you are!

I admit I wasn't following the storyline at all, like I literally can't tell what was going on before Jordan, Kev's brother, got involved. I wanna see where they're going with this plot: it can potentially be a cool one, I'd actually like too see some drama around Kevin's character - and maybe him being supported by Vanessa, but let's not get ahead of ourselves. I don't know, they either develop it properly or they better end it with 7.11

Y'all, the dude Darius was supposed to set up, the one who got killed by Jordan's girlfriend, is identical to Chris Brown, minus the ears. It's scary.

#one chicago #chicago fire #chicago med #crockett marcel #april sexton #ethan choi #chexton #sexcel #will halstead #natalie manning #manstead #daniel charles #maggie lockwood #kelly severide #stella kidd #emily foster #sylvie brett #darren ritter #blake gallo #mouch mcholland #stellaride #jay halstead #hailey upton #upstead #burzek #adam ruzek #kim burgess #kevin atwater #vanessa rojas #hank voight