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shootsun · 2 years

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Hello all!

This is 🦀 anon's request for Shadowpeach baking! You said if I turned this angsty, you'd never feel safe again- so... fear me?

For those who prefer ao3

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“It’s Xiaotian’s birthday soon.” Liu er says one afternoon as they’re watching TV. He’s half curled around Wukong, and their tails are intertwined as Wukong looks over.

“And you know that why?” He asks, a note of suspicion leaking into his tone.

“Psychological warfare.” Liu er shrugs, not taking his eyes off the screen.

“Uh-huh. What are you suggesting, oh great master of diabolical plans?” Wukong rolls his eyes with a lopsided grin.

“Oh, I don’t know. Poisoned cupcakes?” Liu er says, not bothering to hide his smirk.

“How about regular cupcakes?” Wukong gently elbows the demon in the ribs.

“I suppose, if you’re going to be boring about it, we can make regular cupcakes.” The demon tosses his head back dramatically, and the god laughs.

“I’m not poisoning my student.” Wukong chuckles.

“Not even to test his invulnerability?” Liu er raises an eyebrow and tilts his head to the side, seemingly to gauge Wukong's reaction.

“Now I’m getting a little concerned for my safety.” Wukong blinks, mirth and concern bleeding together in his voice.

“Oh, I poisoned your food ages ago. You’re good.” Liu er waves dismissively and turns back to the TV.

“I…I legitimately can’t tell if you’re joking or not right now.” Frowning, Wukong sets his chin in his hands, and Liu er gives him the slightest of glances without turning his head.

“And you never will.” The demon smiles sweetly before grinning widely at the concerned look on Wukong's face.

“I-uh. Huh. Neat.” The god grumbles out.

He sighs and crosses his arms, content to let the topic drop when Liu er speaks again.

“It’s on Saturday.” The demon says.

“What’s on, oh. Wait, this Saturday? Three days from now, Saturday?” Wukong blinks, and counts out the days on his fingers.

“Yep.” Liu er pops the 'p' loudly.

“So…baking tomorrow or…”

“Sounds like a plan to me.”

They did not get to bake the next day. Or the next.

A horde of demonic bats managed to infest the city, and it had been a constant uphill battle to try and remove the tiny creatures, even with multiple helping hands.

Macaque had called in a favour with Jin and Yin, and Wukong had brought out Guanyin’s vase, and together, with the Calabash and the Shadow Lantern, they’d managed to clear out the east half of the city, leaving the west to Xiaotian, Xiaojiao, Hai-er, and a giant mech outfitted with an equally giant quasi-magical, half mad scientist made vacuum.

It took two and a half entire days to clean up the city, and by the time the two immortals returned home to Flower Fruit Mountain, it was two in the afternoon on Saturday.

“Okay. We have a few hours before he comes over.” Wukong bustles into the house, carrying a bushel of grocery bags on one arm, holding the door open with the other for Liu er.

The demon, pawing through the recently acquired cook book, almost hits the door frame on his way in, and doesn’t stick his nose out of the book until his feet hit the kitchen tile.

“You’ve…got an oven, right?” Liu er frowns at the book and then surveys the meager space around him.

“I think so? Have we really never needed one before?” Wukong hums as he opens various cabinets, peering into each space with a furrowed brow.

“Ha!” The god finally exclaims, pulling open a small door.

“Wukong, that’s a microwave.” Liu er sighs, fighting a fond tired smile.

“And we can’t bake cupcakes in it?”

“No.”

Wukong sighs as he pulls a strand of hair from his head, and transforms it into a small oven, just big enough to fit a muffin tray in.

“What type of cupcakes did we decide on again? I know we’ve got chocolate icing, but…” Wukong trails off, waiting for the demon beside him to interject.

“Well, he likes stone fruit, right? I figured cherry cupcakes and chocolate icing would be pretty good.” Liu er hums, rifling through the various bags scattered on the counter.

“And we’re making them from scratch?” Wukong holds up a container of cherries and eyes it critically.

“I’m not letting you feed him hair again.” Liu er snorts.

“That’s only happened-” Wukong begins to protest.

“Dozens of times.” The demon interrupts, a smug grin stretched across his face.

“It’s not like he noticed. Much.” The god laughs at the skeptical look on Liu er’s face before leaning over his shoulder to peek at the recipe book.

“You set up the dry ingredients and I’ll chop the cherries?” Wukong suggests, carefully pulling a slender knife from the wooden storage block in front of him.

“What? Don’t trust me with a knife?” Liu er teases, pulling out flour, sugar, salt, freeze dried cherries, baking soda and powder and setting them on the counter.

“No.” Wukong flatly replies. “You almost cut your finger off last time, and we had to pull the knife out of your thigh the time before that. So, no, I do not trust you with a knife.”

“Fair enough.” Liu er shrugs, and sets about measuring each ingredient.

A few minutes of comfortable quiet passes, the only noises a gentle humming from Liu er, and the steady chopping from Wukong’s knife until there’s a sharp shattering sound from Wukong’s side of the counter space.

“Ah.” The god looks down at the utterly destroyed knife in his hands, the blade having shattered like glass when he accidentally ran it over his other hand.

“Good thing we really only needed a few cherries for the garnish.” Liu er chuckled.

“It’ll leave more room to have fun decorating with icing?” Wukong tries to look on the positive side as he brushes the broken pieces off the counter and into the trash.

“That’s the spirit.”

Wukong bumps his hip into Liu er’s as he passes back to the grocery bags, and the demon pauses for all of two seconds before a handful of flour coats the back of Wukong’s head.

“You did not.” Wukong turns slowly back to face his other half, and Liu er blinks innocently, wiping the evidence off on the front of his shirt.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Peaches. It must’ve been a freak gust of wind.” The demon quirks his mouth ever so slightly to the side before he schools his expression into something disinterested and neutral.

“Uh huh.”

Halfway through adding the wet ingredients, Wukong flicks the spoon at Liu er, and the demon sucks in a breath at the splatter of pink batter across his front and some of the rest of the kitchen.

“Oops. Must have been a freak gust of wind.” Wukong smirks.

Liu er sloshes some of the batter over the side of the mixing bowl, coating his hand, and starts to slink forward, a sly smile on his face.

Wukong backs away, a nervous grin forming.

“Now, Plum,” he starts, but Liu er leaps as Wukong ducks, a miscalculation on the god’s part, and a cherry handprint lands on his ass.

"Oh my gods! I can't believe you!" Wukong cackles as he wraps an arm around a squirming Liu er, trying not very hard to get away.

"You're gonna knock over the bowl! Truce, truce!" Liu er yelps, and Wukong squeezes him once as a warning before letting go.

The truce lasts through spooning the batter into the muffin tin, and through the entirety of the actual baking, until the cupcakes had cooled and the jar of icing had been opened.

"We should make them monkey themed." Wukong says, glancing over the cakes with an appraising eye.

"That's a little on the nose, don't you think?" Liu er tilts his head to the side.

"Nah. He's all about the brand." Wukong laughs.

"You two are like peas in a pod." Liu er shrugs and begins to spoon out dollops of icing on each cupcake.

He manages to get a base set for each cupcake before Wukong leans forward, mischief in his eyes.

Before Liu er can blink, chocolate has been totally smeared in one of his ears.

The demon turns slowly towards Wukong, and in a light, even tone says, "I'm going to kill you," before lunging forward with his spoon.

With a whoop, Wukong sprints a few feet away before Liu er trips him by entangling shadows around the god's ankles.

Thirty minutes and one chocolate massacre later, the two immortals are left looking down at the remnants of their decorating supplies, half on the cupcakes in something resembling a very sick dog instead of simian shaped.

“They’re ugly.” Liu er stares at the batch, forlorn and with misty eyes.

“He…won’t mind? Probably. We can remake them?” Wukong tugs him over by the shoulder, but Liu er slips through his grasp, and plants himself determinedly in front of the disastrous desserts.

“He’ll be here in less than twenty minutes.” Liu er murmurs.

“I can always just-” Wukong reaches for his scalp, but a glare from violet flashing eyes freezes him mid-stretch.

“It’s not the same!” The demon growls, and lifts his hand like he's about to smash the tray.

“Okay, okay, hold on. Why are you so upset about this?” Wukong catches Liu er's fist gently, and successfully pulls him away from the counter.

“I just…I’m trying to make up for it.”

“Make up for…Mac, he’s already forgiven you.”

“It’s clear he’s going to be alive for a while, they all are." Liu er hisses out.

"He’s almost thirty, and he still looks exactly the same as the day we met him, Wukong.” He continues, still glaring at the mass of chocolate and cherry.

“There’s still time for him to realize I’m a piece of shit and-” The demon takes a shuddering breath and Wukong carefully wraps his arms around Liu er's shaking shoulders.

“Breathe, just breathe. Xiaotian is one of the kindest people I’ve ever met. He’s not going to change his mind and start hating you, or think you’re a piece of shit. Hell, he doesn’t think I’m a piece of shit, and he knows all the stories.” The god murmurs into Liu er's fur.

“Even the time about when you picked a fight with Budd-” The demon sniffles, and Wukong can feel his teary grin against his neck.

“Why does everyone bring that one up?! I was barely even four hundred!” Wukong interrupts in a half-hearted whine, rubbing small circles into the small of Liu er's back.

“Poor baby Wukong, picking fights and making intoxicated choices.” The demon nuzzles further into the god's neck.

“You’re lucky I’ve been going to therapy for that one jackass.” Wukong grumbles.

“Yeah, yeah.” Liu er finally wraps his arms around the god. “I’m sorry for panicking.”

“It happens. Now, you gonna help me clean the kitchen or not?" Wukong gestures to the disaster around them.

“I’ll think about it.” Liu er hums out, and Wukong rolls his eyes.

“Shīfù? Macaque?” Xiaotian calls from the front of the house, and the two immortals trade an equally panicked glance at each other before diving into action.

Liu er scoops up the cupcakes and carefully deposits them in a shadow portal before turning and summoning a dozen shadow clones who scatter the instant they materialize.

Wukong takes a deep breath and exhales a gale of wind, blowing all the flour and various spices out the back door, along with half the dishware.

“Oops.” He mutters before slamming the door shut. “We’re in here, bud. Give us a moment.”

“Uh, okay? What are you guys…doing.” Xiaotian rounds the corner to see shadow and hair clones clinging to the ceiling, floors, and walls, all vigorously cleaning batter and icing off their respective surfaces.

“Hey, kid.” Liu er nods, trying to appear casual, but a bead of sweat drips down his temple, and he leans too far to the side as he waves, stumbling as he rights himself.

Wukong isn’t faring much better in attempting to appear casual, having summoned his somersault cloud in the middle of the kitchen, and wearing what could only be described as a nigh painful looking grimace in lieu of a smile.

“Are you guys alright? Did the bats get in here too? I can get-” Xiaotian starts back towards the front door, but both immortals reach out to stop him.

“No, no, it’s fine, kid, just a little last minute spring cleaning.” Liu er blurts out.

“It’s September.” Xiaotian raises an eyebrow skeptically.

“It’s your birthday.” Wukong says.

“Today? Really? I totally forgot! I’ve been so busy lately; I didn’t even think about it.” The demi-god laughs, sheepishly rubbing the back of his head.

“You need a night off, bud.” The god sighs.

“Oh, come on. What’s the saying? ‘Evil never sleeps’, or something?”

“We, uh. Baked cupcakes.” Liu er says, uncharacteristically meek.

“You…you did?”

“Yeah. They’re uh…” Wukong nudges Liu er forward, and the demon gently summons the tray from his pocket dimension.

“Supposed to be monkey themed.” The demon finishes, and carefully sets the tray of horrifically iced cupcakes down on the table.

“I-uh… I don’t know what to say.” Xiaotian looks at the table with a mixture of a goofy smile and a trembling lip before lunging forward and hugging both immortals.

“Thank you.”

“You act like we’ve never celebrated your birthday before, bud.” Wukong notes, ruffling his student's hair.

“I know, I know it’s silly, but you took the time to do something nice even though we’ve all been so busy, and-” Xiaotian wipes at the corner of his eyes with the back of his hand, and sniffles before looking at the immortals with stars in his eyes.

“Yeah, of course, kiddo.” Liu er smiles softly, patting the demi-god’s back.

“You know I’m not really a kid anymore, yeah?” Xiaotian tilts his head to the side with a small, slightly more watery than usual, smile.

“You’re under a hundred an' fifty. You’re lucky no one’s been calling you child or infant.” Wukong says, amusement running through his voice.

“You guys think I’ll live that long?”

“I’m trying not to think about your mortality at all kiddo. It makes me contemplate life a little too much.” Liu er shakes his head.

“Comforting.” MK makes a face, scrunching his forehead.

“Speaking of comforting,” Wukong starts, but Liu er glares at the god.

“Wukong, do not.”

“Lay an old man’s fears to rest, will you?”

“I’ll fill the bed with cracker crumbs and eat all your peach chips.” Liu er threatens.

“You wouldn’t dare.” Wukong turns, reproach filling his eyes.

“These are…really good. Like really really good! Macaque, you did amazing!” Xiaotian interrupts, chocolate icing and pink crumbs coating his fingers.

“Hey! I helped!” Wukong protests, a pout forming on his face.

“Seriously, you guys, try one! I’m gonna cry, these are so good. I can take the rest home, right?” Unnecessary puppy dog eyes are turned on to the two immortals as Xiaotian grabs his second treat.

“I, uh, yeah, kid. Of course, you can.” Liu er says as he bites into one of the cupcakes. He makes a small muffled noise of surprise, and then takes a larger bite immediately, not even half-way through his first mouthful.

Wukong chuckles and reaches for Liu er’s face.

“You’ve, you’ve got frosting, all over, like…your everything. How’d you even do that?” The god brushes icing off of the demon’s cheek and Liu er’s nose wrinkles in response.

“It’s a gift.” The demon wiggles his eyebrows, and Wukong snorts.

“Here, let me just…” The god transforms a hair into a cloth, and the demon leans away from him, holding the cupcake aloft in a hollow threat.

Xiaotian laughs softly, a twinkle in his eyes when both immortals turn towards him.

“What?” They say in unison, and Xiaotian has to bite his lip to keep from cracking up.

“I can’t believe it took me so long to figure out you guys dated.”

“To be fair, I was trying to ruin his life when you first met me.” Liu er purrs out, draping an arm over the god’s shoulder and shoving the rest of the cupcake into his mouth in one swift, ungraceful move.

“We are all unfortunately aware that’s your way of flirting.” Xiaotian rolls his eyes fondly.

“I’m insulted, deeply hurt, utterly wounded by your cruel words, child.” Liu er dramatically groans, clutching his chest as he sways in place.

“Uh huh.” Xiaotian grins, and Liu er's jaw drops.

“Oh, you little-” The demon playfully growls, and lunges forward.

Xiaotian makes a noise halfway between a squeal and a laugh as he dodges reaching hands by leaping onto the ceiling.

Liu er sinks into the shadows and emerges a few inches from the demi-god and scribbles his fingers along Xiaotian's neck, causing the not quite boy to drop from his perch with a shriek.

"Don't you dare!" Xiaotian laughs, and as Liu er chases him, starts to sprint in circles around the already disheveled kitchen, leaping over chairs and table alike until Wukong scoops him up with one arm.

“What!” Xiaotian yelps, and Wukong's laughter booms out across the house.

“Ha! Take that!” Liu er crows, happily half sunk into the shadows.

“Whose side are you on?!” The demi-god tries to twist away from Wukong's hand buried into his side, but is unsuccessful.

"My own? Duh?" Wukong says, easily dodging the flailing limbs aimed at his face.

“Noohoho!” Xiaotian giggles, peals of laughter breaking through. “I surrender, I surrender!”

“Not me, you’ll never take me ali-Ack!” Liu er trips over the couch, and Wukong carefully drops Xiaotian on one of the arm chairs before pouncing on the demon, and sitting on his legs.

“What about… now?” The god grins, and shoves his hands under Liu er's chin, effectively trapping them there when the dark furred monkey tries to shove his shoulder up and stop the god's fluttering fingers.

“I give, I yield!” The demon yelps, and Wukong smirks as he withdrawals his hands.

“You’re such a cheater,” Liu er laughs, and his eyes crinkle into crescent moons as he playfully swats at the other monkey.

“I still won though.” The god says cheekily.

“Mhmm.”

“Alright, I don't mean to eat and run, but I gotta go, Mei and Red Son said something about a sleepover? I don’t want them to set my apartment on fire.” Xiaotian stands, and brushes off his jeans before giving each immortal a large hug.

“Get home safe. And don’t forget our lunch date on Tuesday!” Wukong says, re-ruffling his student's hair.

“I will, and I won’t forget! Do you have a box I can use for the cupcakes?” The demi-god asks, eyeing the still destroyed kitchen.

“Nah, just take the tray. We’ve got plenty.” Liu er shrugs dismissively.

“Are you sure-”

“Yeah, bud.” Wukong nods in agreement.

“Okay! I’ll bring it back on Tuesday.” Xiaotian says brightly, cradling the precious tin of goodies under one arm.

“Sounds good.”

“Make sure to text one of us when you get back to the city.” Liu er reminds the demi-god, giving him a one-armed embrace.

“I will, I will.” Xiaotian gives Wukong another hug, lifting him with one arm.

“I think you’ve gotten stronger.” The god hums.

“You think so?” Xiaotian preens, quickly setting his mentor down and flexing his arm.

“You did just lift me off the floor, bud.” Wukong says, and Xiaotian gives him a familiar confused look.

“Made of stone? Ah, whatever. Just get home safe, will ya?” The god shakes his head.

“You guys are such worry warts.” Xiaotian chuckles.

“Uh huh. Bye, kiddo.” Liu er waves as Xiaotian steps through the door.

“See you soon, bud.” Wukong calls to Xiaotian's retreating back, and the demi-god waves over his shoulder, clutching the tin of cupcakes tightly in his other hand.

“See, told you the cupcakes were gonna be good.” The god gently shuts the front door and turns to Liu er, still splayed out across the couch.

“I don’t think you ever said that.” The demon raises an eyebrow as the other immortal crosses the room to kneel before him.

“Well, I said he doesn’t hate you.” Wukong says, and brushes dark fur from out of Liu er's face.

“I’ll consider conceding that.” Liu er's tail thumps gently on the couch as Wukong slowly leans forward.

“Stubborn old bastard.” He laughs fondly, and the demon snorts in response.

“Takes one to know one.” Liu er pokes Wukong's cheek and then cups his face, running his thumb over the god's fur.

“You still have frosting on your face.” Wukong whispers, leaning even closer.

“Where?” Liu er tilts his head towards the god with a slow smile creeping over his face.

“Right…here.” Wukong kisses the corner of his mouth, and then licks a stripe up the side of the demon's face.

“Ugh, I bet you think you’re so cute.” Liu er wrinkles his nose and wipes away the spit on his cheek.

“I’m adorable.” The god wiggles his eyebrows.

“Yeah, you are.” Liu er sighs and drags Wukong by the collar of his shirt back forwards for another kiss.

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