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heretherebedork · 2 years

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Hii. Fellow Pining boys lover here! Could you recommend some BL series with unrequited love and long term pining? Thank you so much, lovely.

Unrequited love I can't help much with, honestly, there's not a ton of it in BL? But there are a few. But pining, oh pining, my favorite babies. I will only be recommending ones I love.

I mean, the first is the obvious of MekBoss from My Engineer. One of my personal favorite pining dynamics of all time because I adore piners who pick friendship over love every time until there isn't a choice anymore. But yes. Definitely good pining.

2moons2 is good for a speedrun of pining alongside some very flirty pining and it works very, very well for both, though I suppose arguments could be made about whether or not actively flirting with someone can also be pining but, you know what, I'll make an exception.

Cherry Magic does Kurosawa's pining oh so well and it's darling. Different than Thai pining but definitely one to watching.

Lovely Writer has both pining and unrequited love by the end. Honestly, I have to recommend this one strongly because the pining is delicious, the relationship is great and the unrequited love is painful in a whole rang of ways and goes in so many directions.

About Youth just ended but I cannot help how much I recommend it for the gentleness and pining. Not the plot so much but there is very gentle pining and love and softness.

Bad Buddy is A+ in terms of how much pining truly hurts and how much it can change a person when they know they can't do anything about it and how much that love can change them too. Absolutely A+.

Cherry Blossoms After Winter is truly all about pining that turns to love without distraction. I also love it so much, it's truly traditional yaoi in every sense but done by Korea so it's super stylized.

Cutie Pie is the only show where it is entirely about pining despite them already being in a relationship. Absolutely must watch for pining fans, honestly, both main pairs are established relationship that are still pining for each other because they're in arranged marriages.

En of Love TOSSARA is more like the conclusion of a long pining arc we don't see but it absolutely has to be here because it is glorious.

My Beautiful Man is dual sided pining with agony mixed in and is my purest 11/10 BL so, yes, you should definitely watch this one.

La Cuisine is close to this so Imma stick on here because I have a super soft spot for this little pulp. Very soft, very filled with lots of gentle and soft loving that starts as pining and pining that has lasted a long time.

Minato Shouji Coin Laundry is definitely perfect for this, honestly. They do everything. You gotta watch it for

My one mediocre recommendation: My Gear and Your Gown. This one is longterm pining but it's done super mediocre and they flubbed the ending but ugh SO MUCH POTENTIAL. Enchante also falls here but the ending was even worse for me so I can't recommend that one at all.

Old Fashion Cupcake is the mature version of this, in a lot of ways, but also just an amazing show and you should definitely watch it regardless.

Plus & Minus had good pining but, again, kind of fell apart at the end. But the pining was very, very good.

Secret Crush on You is a cringefest of the deepest emotions that somehow blended longterm pining and stalking into a gorgeous love story that is also... cringe humor but with an amazing message? I love SCOY so much and I think you will too, just remember that they're taking the comedic side characters and giving them depth and heart so that's exactly what it is.

Star in My Mind is very good at the idea of longterm pining on both sides but also deep, deep communication struggles so... watch out for that? I liked it a lot but I know it went too long for a lot of people.

Tonhon Chonlatee is another comedy that I honestly really enjoyed and it's all longterm pining and an oblivious idiot and also Neo Trai in one of his best roles before The Eclipse!

We Best Love No 1 For You is exactly what anyone looking for longterm pining is looking for, honestly, it's fantastic. Fighting Mr Second is... not exactly the same thing but does have a lot of good notes and has a different longterm pining couple that is also a touch more unrequited so this might just be perfect for you?

You're My Sky also has longterm pining in the main couple and is gorgeous.

Anyway, yes there are others but most of the others are ones I wouldn't recommend because I didn't like them. So... enjoy these!

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autizmophrenia · 2 years

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hello fellow jregoid, welcome to the cringefest! have you seen realicide yet? It's a spin-off and 100% guaranteed to multiply ur mental illness by 1000000x

also since you said you were taking requests, could u draw ancap?

i actually have NOT seen realicide yet but ill do that today cuz my autism decided to fixate on personified political ideologies <3

heres an ancap. i love yellow greedler. ever heard of vegas

#centricide #centricides #jreg #jreg ancap

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thegravityblog · 11 months

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Wednesday: Work, Investment Thesis and Laughing at the clowns.

Busy day, as usual. I got a new investment offer, let’s see how they respond. I am raising a private seed round worth $100,000 (Rs.8194835.00) for Dexa, to hire more tech talent, mostly backend engineers, solidity developers and iOS/Android Developers, an in-house community building and management team and a marketing team. I am working with Crowwd Labs for the marketing part, and will form a long-term partnership with them. I currently own 49.52% of the company and have the maximum voting rights.

Here’s our cap table (Capitalization table). Hid the name of my angel investor as we are under a NDA and I cannot publicly mention him. Cap table is basically a legal document of a company where all the capital, investments and ownerships are put together. Every startup that’s funded, has one. So, with the new round all of the investors share will dilute, depending on the size of the cheque and equity deal. Let’s just hope for the best. My goal is to raise this seed round by the end of July. After the Series A, that’s most probably next year or by the end of this year, we’ll move our operations to Bengaluru, Silicon Valley where the real tech action is. Although, I am also one of the leaders in Punjab in the Blockchain/Web3 space who is taking the initiative with my fellow founders to put Punjab on the map when it comes to Web3. Long and tough route, but as I have mentioned earlier, if I set a goal, I want it. I’ll have it anyway. Pretty competitive but I can’t really see myself a loser who fears taking challenges. Everything is possible, all you need is the determination, drive, ambition and a threshold to sacrifice and bear pain. My work day was comprised of Web3 related stuff mostly, and Dexa. We are minting tickets on Polygon now, and the next meetup event’s tickets are now on sale. They’re free though. Then I read about psychometric tests and stress resistors from the clinical psychology book for my AI therapist, moving on to researching and studying a couple of companies stocks I am planning to invest. After that, I again analyzed a couple of value based stocks for a client from my hedge fund that’ll be up and running by August 2023. I had 2 calls from my part time job as a consultant cloud engineer at Amazon Web Services, so did that and then went out to do some chores. While coming back I saw that classic clown, and I realized today that I have healed. I just couldn’t stop laughing seeing her hanging on to another guy. I saw my past when she used to rest her head on my shoulders, and I giggled so bad. My inner voice was like “You see? That’s a pattern”. Plus now she is also Sukanya/Poonam bhabhi, lol. If there is so much of a monetary crisis, could had asked me, I would donate. And those videos are literally cringe fest. The guy is using all his forces to fuck her, but still I am pretty sure he isn’t making her cum. I have fucked her, I know she is a beast. The guy hasn’t mastered the art of sex. There is a massage video, that while watching I couldn’t stop laughing. 0 Sensuality, just rubbing hands, no stroking no caressing, no rhythm changes, just bland plain cringefest. Again, I felt I have healed because it didn’t affect me or shook me the way it used to. I instead critiqued all the videos, the guy literally has no idea what he is doing. And it’s even none of my business. Maybe the hunger of money is so bad, that they have to do it. Who knows and who cares? Aaj cam girl hai, kal kothe pe bhi baithegi. Kya pata, kabhi maine contact kia and aageh se isko bheje pimp. Now I think, where is all that decency? Hypocrisy at its best. So what kind of response would you expect? I just laugh on these clowns now. She left me just to be with losers who neither have a social status nor are anywhere sexually capable. But anyway, if she is happy in the dirt, let her. I have a long way to go, hence I shouldn’t be losing my focus. Chudegi toh chod denge, koi harz nahi. ;) Anyway, I am not poonam bhabhi hence I have to dwell into work. Its time to look into the markets and see how each company is performing followed by some coding before sleeping. Mom has cooked a great curry today. Can’t wait to gorge my dinner. See ya!!

#journal #diary entry #wednesday #awesomeday #clowns #losers #attentionwhor #myexisapornostar #cringevideos #dinner #work

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drgnbrst · 4 years

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im remaking my punchline cringepost as a headcanon cringepost instead

disclaimer that i absolutely do not actually deeply align myself with punchline. i just think it would be interesting if she were asian because i am an asian person who grew up in a household where i developed some problems under the surface, so i could understand how someone under similar but worse conditions could end up like she does

i looked more into her race and while a lot of people think she could be asian, i havent been able to find any conclusive statements abt her ethnicity! so i am taking east asian punchline and running with her. i like the idea of her being asian so if its not necessarily canon its still my headcanon for her for reasons in the post

i like the origin story for her character bc it feels like theyre trying to create someone who wants to free themselves of any and all expectations and cares, and is achieving this by becoming the only kind of person not bound to morals or even any conventional norms at all? i think if they use that momentum she has the potential to be a really interesting character and villain

to me its interesting to look at how she might have developed the mindset of “Total Freedom(tm) regardless of how it affects others” from family and societal influences if she were an asian woman. being taught to be considerate of others and to be convenient to the point where she had to devalue herself could result in her becoming spiteful against the system itself and everyone in it!

yeah but dont get me wrong this hc is... on thin ice even to me, bc i think she could easily fall into the submissive asian woman stereotype because of how much she wants the joker’s approval and yknow, is his gf/partner or whatever which would not be the rep and character depth i want BUT it could also make her feel more human? but also hes literally extremely evil and supposed to be one of the worst villains and shes just working for him or something. so realistically i should just go stan a better asian character

tldr i think how theyre shaping her is cool and could intersect well with aspects of asian culture and parenting so i hc her as east asian but shes obviously highly problematic for so many reasons so is this really the rep i want!

#punchline #alexis kaye #dc comics #dc rebirth #dc villains #i just remade the post bc its gross to just keep adding edits to smthn thats already based on a wrong idea #cringefest my fellows

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an-ambivalent · 3 years

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Sukuna x Uchiha! Reader

A/N: This is purely for my own self-indulgent purposes -- expanding on this scenario I was daydreaming about. You are invited along to read about my cringefest scenario but only I’m allowed to call it cringe.

Headcanon synopsis: You are amidst fighting Kabuto with Sasuke and Itachi in the Fourth Great Ninja War when the strangest thing happens. Between struggling to stay conscious from the poison that’s slowly eating you alive to trying to focus on the lengthy explanations of never-heard-before jutsus’ between the two emo brothers, the clash of such jutsus teleports you to another world during another fight. There, the line between enemies and comrades is nonexistent. However, one thing is certain: apparently you wear the same face as of a thousand-years-old demon’s deceased lover.

For clarification, you are not related to Sasuke and Itachi because that would mean this “reader” insert has fixed looks of black hair and black eyes. You are from the same clan with abilities like the Sharingan and affiliation to fire chakra nature. But fill in your blanks of whatever you want to look like.

Warnings: This has very minor spoilers about the JJK manga, specifically Sukuna’s abilities. So read at your own risk. It’s just a bunch of OP assholes trying to one up each other ig :P

~***~

The rustic smell of blood is present profoundly in the atmosphere. The heavy rain that is suddenly drenching you, and increasing the heaviness and wetness of your clothes and making them stick disgustingly to your grime skin, does nothing to waft away the awful smell. It washes off some of the dried blood from minor cuts and other injuries you had acquired during your fight with Kabuto, triggering your pain receptors in response and causing stinging and burning of pain. But for someone like you who has already been traumatised from the blood shed you have experienced as a ninja, the revolting smell of blood and the burning pain is nothing new. However, the thing that is new is the rain. It had abruptly replaced the mid-day sun that shone horribly bright. During the war, the clear and sunny weather felt like it was nature’s way to laugh at everyone’s face when they were fighting and barely hanging onto their life. The sudden darkness of the night and the open space you find yourself in, instead of the dark cave you were in just mere moments ago, has your shoulders becoming tensed and your blood flow and heart-beat going faster.

Instantly, your eyes are their notorious deep red colour presented with three black tomes. Your refined shinobi instincts kick in, and you catch the lean and spikey black-haired male that was thrown your way. There is blood trickling down his mouth, and as you held him momentarily, it was easy to deduce that some of his ribcages and other bones were broken, in addition to more serious injuries. Like how milliseconds decisions were required as a shinobi because they determined life or death, the abrupt situation you were thrown into also required it. You carelessly threw him aside as a half-naked pink-haired teen with black markings on his skin, a hole in his chest and blood dripping down his abdomen charged at you.

He aimed a vicious and strong punch to your face, which you avoided by side-stepping. When he repeated the gesture with his other arm, you blocked it with your forearm, before twisting your body at an angle, and delivering a strong kick to his stomach and sending him flying away. Using the new created distance to your advantage, you quickly made the necessary hand-signs with practiced ease, before taking a deep breath in.

“Fire Style: Great Fire Dragon Jutsu,” You exclaimed, as you exhaled a vicious and high temperature dragon head-shaped flame towards your attacker.

Sukuna, currently in possession of Itadori’s body, was internally questioning whether the very few hits that Megumi had landed previously had damaged his brain because there was absolutely no way he had seen her face. There was absolutely no way in hell that a mere human would be strong enough to land a painful kick on him. Evidently, the thought that he had seen her face had made him falter in his concentration so it was probably a lucky hit. But the giant dragon fireball that was currently heading towards his way was not going to be a lucky or a pleasant hit, if he did not counter or dodge it. Attacks with fire meant play-time for Sukuna. So, he simply waited until your attack was mere inches away from him, before he easily manipulated the flames and extinguished them. Then, without any current motivation for more fighting, he started to walk towards you.

Your eyes widened when you saw your jutsu disappear in thin air. Then, when you saw the pink-haired male began walking towards you nonchalantly, your hand automatically went to your back and you unsheathed your sword slightly. Cracks of lightning sparked through it. You stayed grounded on your fighting stance and narrowed your eyes at him, ready to strike should he attack.

The intense cold expression you wore on your face with her familiar features was so strange to see; and usually, Sukuna enjoyed fighting and taunting seemingly stuck-up people like you. Overpowering such humans before burning them to their demise -- it was such a great way to pass his time. But right now, right now, he was infuriated. He was surprised, and somewhere deep down in his dead demonic heart, was a small sense of longing and hope to regain what used to be.

His red magenta eyes dug through you in a fierce glare as he stopped just a small distance in front of you.

“Oi, who are you?”

The corner of your lips twitched up into a smirk.

“It’s customary to introduce yourself before asking for someone else’s name. Surely, you have that much manners?”

Your reply evoked an eyebrow twitch from Sukuna.

“You’re unnecessarily cocky, aren’t you? If you knew who I was, you would know what was good for you. It’s no wonder it’s so tempting to kill you humans.” He remarked easily, and took a step closer towards you.

You raised an eyebrow in question. “Me, a human? You’re talking as if you aren’t one.”

His lips stretched into a wide grin. “Huh, so you can see me and you’re attacking me, seemingly a fellow human without mercy and not actually knowing who I am or what’s going on?”

It was something about the way he was questioning and taunting you like you were a three-years-old kid that made you glare at him. But, there were no hints of deception or lies in his words. And the nagging feeling you felt churning in the pit of your stomach made you know that something was seriously wrong.

“So what are you then, a monster? That’s quite subjective though isn’t it; I kill another to protect myself or my loved one, I’m a human in their eyes. The loved ones of the one I killed in order to protect myself, I’m a monster in their eyes. There’s no difference. Although, why I’m suddenly here and not where I am meant to be... maybe only you can answer that. And if you know who I am, you would know what’s good for you. Answer me or you will regret even having the nerve to look in my eyes.” You warned, and just then, the black tomes in your crimson irises started spinning.

Your cold threats, your body bent in the certain angle it was, ready and just waiting to kill something, and the power radiating off of you -- especially your brilliant blood eyes, it sent unanticipated shivers down Sukuna’s spine. His grin widened until his canine were visible, and just before he could respond, Megumi’s shouts were heard from the distance, interrupting his intense stare off with you.

“What the hell are you doing?! Get out here civilian before he kills you!”

Your gaze switched to him and the moment your cold red eyes met Megumi’s eyes, they widened in surprise. Then, finally, the poison that was still in your bloodstream sent sharp waves of pain to your head, causing you to wince and hiss out in pain. This was not missed by the two men around you, especially Sukuna, who was watching you like a hawk.

He smirked. “Reaching your human limits already?”

You scoffed. “Hardly. But looks like our chat will need to end here.” You responded easily. Then, with a single hand-sign and your Sharingan tomes spinning more fiercely, you triggered a low-level genjutsu. Both males, who did not know better than to not look into your eyes, were easily swept into it. It was solely for a moment; however, that moment was enough time that when the world around them stopped spinning, there was not even a single clue of you ever being there was even left.

#jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #sukuna x reader #sukuna fanfiction #jujutsu kaisen #jjk fanfiction #jjk imagines #jjk scenarios #jujutsu kaisen fanfiction #megumi x reader #fushiguro x reader #jjk x you #ambivalent writes #uchiha x reader #sukuna scenarios

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jasmine-tea-latte · 3 years

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I’m going to be completely self-indulgent and promote myself a little during Self-Love Saturday for @zkfanworkweek (Zutara Fanworks Appreciation Week).

(Click here to see my earlier post about my favorite Zutara fics as well)

As I’ve said before elsewhere, I discovered ATLA shortly after it premiered in 2005, back when I was in high school. I enjoyed the show on occasion, but it wasn’t until Fall 2006 that I rediscovered it and got bit by the Zutara bug hard.

I still remember spending hours browsing and saving my favorite fanarts on DeviantArt and chatting with fellow fans and shippers on the Distant Horizon forums (side note - rereading some of my old posts on there is a total cringefest. Ugh.)

I stepped away a year or so after the show ended and dived into other OTPs and fandoms. Then earlier this year, I decided to return to the Avatar fandom once more and created this side blog so I could post all the Zutara/ATLA stuff to my heart’s content.

Anyways, I’ve enjoyed reading so many wonderful fics over the years, and I’m being serious when I say that I still have certain lines and scenes from some of them memorized.

Yet until this year, I had never sat down to write any fanfiction of my own but then, everything changed when the pandemic attacked.

Since I live in a big city and was under self-imposed quarantine (my husband is a non-medical essential worker, I get to work from home), I suddenly found myself with a LOT of free time, all alone save for Zoom calls and Facetimes with family and friends. So, after hyper-fixating and rewatching one of my favorite shows, I decided there was no better time to try my hand at something I’ve always wanted to do.

And so, my series The Phoenix and the Dragon was born, based on the Zutara Week 2020 prompts. It all started when I thought up an idea for the prompt “Celestial” and sat down to write a one-shot where the Gaang teaches Zuko how to dance in the days leading up to the comet, and he ends up dancing with Katara under the starlight and moonlight.

Once I finished that (and split it into chapters for my own sanity), I realized I needed to know what happened next. So I plotted out the remainder of the series, one fic that corresponded with each prompt, and the rest is history.

Want lots of fluff, a dose of the occasional angst, and tons of symbolism and callbacks/foreshadowing/all those other literary tropes? That’s what you get with The Phoenix and the Dragon.

(Side note - if anyone were to animate or draw either of the sun shower scenes from this series, you would make my YEAR, and I would tearbend over you forever.)

Since Zutara Week ended a few months ago, I’ve added several extra entries to the series, including a fic that explores things from Mai’s POV and her own personal journey to find happiness.

~*~*~

I’ve also written a handful of one-shots and am finishing up on a 3-part series as well.

My one-shots (all are rated M, so minors beware):

Snuffed Out

This is what happens when I decide to dive into angst. I’ve actually been called a monster for this one, and frankly, I’m quite proud of that. The opening and ending scenes were inspired by Metallica’s “One” and the rest by Slipknot’s “Snuff” - hence the title. Fair warning that it gets dark.

Just For One Day

A return to fluff and happiness - an AU of sorts inspired by David Bowie’s “Heroes.”

Because these lines now forever make me think of the Last Agni Kai, and I get all in my feelings listening to this song now:

“I, I will be king / And you, you will be queen / Though nothing will keep us together / We could steal time, just for one day / We could be heroes, just for one day...”

Sweeter Than Honey, Stronger Than Whiskey

A self-indulgent modern AU Blutara fic entirely inspired by a dream I had while sleeping off the crud, under the influence of decongestant medicine.

AKA, the Blue Spirit actually saves the Painted Lady from the pirates.

~*~*~

It sounds crazy, but diving into writing this series, as well as my other fanfics, has truly helped keep me sane during this difficult year. It’s become my own personal little slice of happiness, and I’m so thankful to each and every one of you who has left a comment or Kudos or expressed their love for my work.

Seriously, you guys mean the world. Love you all, fellow Zutarians.

#@zkfanworkweek #zkfanworkweek #Zutara Fanworks Appreciation Week #zutara #zuko x katara #zuko #katara #the phoenix and the dragon #my fanfic #my stuff

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sharkfish · 4 years

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ps i loved this one

(rereading bookmarks edition)

i’ve been rereading stories from my bookmarks as a comfort thing. i’m getting real deep in there to stuff i haven’t (re)read for years, and damn do i have good taste. the ones i’ve read recently that you should, too:

(under the cut so i’m not that asshole that makes you scroll past an endless post)

A Change of Scene by SurlyCat

When Dean goes over to see his Dom on Christmas Eve, he isn't expecting Cas to play naughty Santa, and neither of them is expecting how it turns out for them.

ooooomg fuck me up with that sex to lovers thing featuring bdsm. yessssss

A Room of His Own (or not) by Valinde (Valyria)

Dean took a deep breath and reassessed the situation. He was in bed with a guy, sure, and technically they were snuggling, but it was Cas. The guy had absolutely no reference on what was appropriate physical contact between two dudes sharing a bed in the... normal, completely unsexy, no-funny-business, way.

cas is fallen, dean is confused (what else is new), A+ cuddling. that’s the fic.

Boys On Film by LoversAntiquities @tragidean

But maybe that’s what it is—maybe Castiel’s finally realized something Dean is too chicken to admit, despite the fact he’s been jerking off to the idea of Castiel fucking him for the past few weeks. The idea warms him as much as it pains him to think about, his friend not being able to talk to him about something like that. That has to be it—it’s the only explanation. Castiel likes him.

“Or maybe he knows you do cam shows.”

Dean chokes on his burger.

idk what to say, i love a good sex worker fic and here you go. @tragidean is always here with that first-class content.

Castiel's Angel by Valinde (Valyria) @valinde

The angel took a deep breath and looked down at his hands. He was fidgeting Cas noticed. Usually he was so bizarrely at ease in his human form, lounging around and tossing winks and smirks at anyone with a pulse. That more than anything had Cas straightening on his stool and wishing he was a little less tipsy.

“Ineedyoutogroommywings,” Dean muttered in one long, almost unintelligible, string. He was blushing.

all my fellow wing hos should flock* to this fic. i also love me a good switcharoo with angel dean (and hunter cas, as this is an alternate canon universe). and dean gets all claim-y, which is also my jam.

*this was unintentional but a pretty funny joke

For Science! by pm_lo

Selected transcripts and supporting materials from Dr. Castiel Williams and Dean Winchester’s seminal study on physiological and psychological sexual response by gender designation.

i believe this was the first abo fic i added to my bookmarks. story time: many, many moons ago, i kept track of my reading list. i was doing that “50 books a year” thing so it was mostly for tracking that, but i had another tab for fics, because i read few enough that i could track them. i rated things and sometimes left notes, and by all the abo ones i was like “don’t tell anyone i read this.” yes, i shamed myself for liking abo. it was a dark time in my life.

anyway, then i read this, and was like, all right i can see what’s going on here.

this is a great fic for multiple reasons, and the format is one. it’s written as dialogue-only transcripts from their experiment. it’s hard to make that kind of format work, but pm_lo ain’t fucking around.

Just a Stranger On the Bus by Amelia_Clark

December 31 9:32 PM When Castiel boards the bus in KC, they think it’s empty at first—but when they toss their backpack onto an aisle seat and climb in after it, there’s a muffled yelp from the dimness at the back of the bus. They turn in time to see a man in a faded Carharrt jacket, sitting up and yawning as he rubs sleep out of his eyes. The man’s hair is greasy and matted down on one side, and there’s drool on the side of his face; nonetheless, he’s ridiculously good-looking.

“Hey man,” he says. Castiel does not correct him. “This can’t be Chicago.”

the non-binary tag, just like the trans tags in general, are a house half-built and left to rot in the rain. even if that wasn’t true, this series is goddamn amazing. also there’s rimming. also there’s a line in there that said something like “they don’t dislike their body, it just never felt like theirs” and i had a lightbulb moment irt my own experience. did dean ever wear carharrt in the actual series? if not, mistakes have been made.

Just Turn Around and Go by PorcupineGirl @porcupine-girl

Dean should be happy. His best friend and housemate of five years, Castiel, is moving out to live with his boyfriend, Balthazar. Dean's career is going great, so he can easily afford the house on his own now. This is just growing up, moving forward to the next phase of their lives.

It would be awesome, if he weren't in love with Cas.

Well, here we go, he thinks as he opens the refrigerator and digs around for sandwich supplies. First day of the rest of your life. Time to move the fuck on. As he slams his meat and mayo and pickles down on the counter, he considers adding the bottle of whiskey he knows is hiding in the cabinet, but decides that he has enough self-respect to wait 'til five. Then he'll get fucking blackout drunk. Yep. Awesome.

y’all, do i even have to say anything about this? roommates to friends to a pathetic amount of pining without saying shit to disgustingly in love. also i think i cried, but i’ve been in tears so many times in the last week, who’s to say.

Plus One by ceeainthereforthat @ceeainthereforthat

Castiel Novak might have to attend three weddings in two months, but he’s not about to let his brother play matchmaker. His family’s Internet streaming company is too important to let a relationship steal his time, but he knows exactly what to do–hire someone to pretend to be his boyfriend.

Dean Winchester has worked five-star hospitality long enough to know how to fit in with Castiel’s crowd, and this job could score him the connections to make his acting career take off. It’s a business deal, no matter how they’re drawn to each other. When the lines of their contract start to blur into real feelings, can they withstand Castiel’s family and jealous fans working to split them up?

there are a lot of great fake dating stories out there, but this one takes the cake (or, at least, a slice of it). also, i cried a lot rereading this, both “ohhh god i love their love” tears and also “ohhhh god this hurts so bad” tears.

Should've Just Asked by Annie D (scaramouche)

Despite their age gap and differing social circles, Castiel has struck up a warm friendship with Mary Winchester, a wealthy widowed socialite. When Castiel needs a place to stay, Mary invites him into her house, where there’s loads of spare room. Castiel’s aware that they make an odd pair, but he doesn’t fully realize how things look to outsiders, especially to Mary’s eldest son. All Dean Winchester sees is that his mom has apparently hooked up with a hot young guy (who is totally Dean’s type) and that makes things… weird.

they’re both oblivious idiots in love, cas is grey-ace, dean’s a total dork, it’s all just very lovely (and frustrating in the way oblivious idiots can be!!!).

PS - annie d is writing marvel fic lately and i’m sure it’s fantastic if you’re into that kind of thing.

Support Your Local Gay Beekeeper by Powerfulweak

It’s not like Dean goes on Grindr very often, just when he’s bored and alone. The blue-eyed guy's profile reads "Beekeeper, 29, 5'10, Single, I watch the bees." Dean is intrigued. He has to send a message.

this is a series that starts with some great phone sex and then goes on to very, very awkward sex injuries. a goddamn cringefest that had me in complete horror imagining it. but it’s fun! they persevere! people so rarely write about Sex Going Wrong and i love @powerfulweak for taking the bullet for us on that one.

Take Me Home Tonight by Persephoneshadow @persephoneshadow

“Come on, we’re finding you someone to…engage with sexually or whatever,” Dean explains, chancing another swig of beer before going on. “Anyone in this bar, no limits, who would you would be your top choice to bang?” “Well, you, ideally.” Dean spits out some beer before collapsing in on himself, legitimately choking this time. “Excuse me?!” ---- Or the one where Cas wants to have sex and Dean is there to help.

your classic denialist “i’ll be your wingman” turning to “actually imagining someone else touching you makes me want to punch someone.” which is dumb, because cas actually wanted dean all along.

Words with Friends by betts

"Dean Winchester is as straight as an arrow. He’s a lady’s man of epic proportions: the king of the one night stand, the messiah of the friends with benefits paradigm, the emperor of perpetual bachelorhood.

Except, apparently, when it comes to his best friend, Castiel Novak."

***

Wherein a longstanding acquaintanceship leads to friendship, then best friendship, then sexting, then dirty talk, then mutual masturbation, then, inevitably, fucking.

look i think you’re always in good hands with @bettsfic. but this one has some good sexting and phone sex right at the start, which i’m totally into, and then it gets even better. cas is a lil bossy, by which i meant to say he’s the kind of bdsm geek who has equipment installed in his bedroom for sex purposes.

You're The Only Stranger I Need by lyndsie_l

When Castiel receives a text from a stranger, he finds himself engaging in conversations daily. He's drawn to the outgoing college student and longs to interact with the other man as often as he can. Slowly, he finds himself falling in love with the other and can't imagine ever meeting a more beautiful person.

The only problem?

He's never actually met this other man.

be still my heart! a long distance/texting/phone sex thing! i want to read it again right this second. cas is such a cool nerd, dean is a brat, it’s a good time all around.

if you enjoy these fics (and you should), please give the writer some love via kudos and/or comments. <3

ps - as always, if i didn’t tag the writer and you know their tumblr, please tag in the comments. i don’t think there’s a writer alive who wouldn’t be happy to be on a rec list. :)

#sharkrecs #sharklist

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thatjuvenileteen · 5 years

Text

here we go again

my on and off relationship with this blog pretty much mirrors my mental struggle to keep track of shit going on in my life. as much as i would like to document everything in detail like i used to when i was 12 til 17, i doubt i’ll be able to find time to blog religiously again in my 20s let alone process everything that’s happened in yet another hiatus year and condense it all in text posts... pretty sad fact. on top of this i’m also still unsure whether i should feel grateful that i have a significant piece of my past accessible online to look back on, or ashamed that my awkward teenage years are exposed on the internet for all my friends to see. as if they didn’t already have enough content to mock me with 😬 nonetheless it’s still a fun time to backread and surprisingly not 100% a cringefest.

youtube

one day i’m just gonna laugh at how all my more recent entries begin with the same excuse, followed by the same vague explanation—“so much has happened!” this video sums up most of what i’ve been up to, and i realise it also does it very vaguely. for the number of times my face is featured let me elaborate: i’ve been filming, like, a fuck tonne. mainly for Uni. i’m scheduled to graduate w my bachelor of digital design degree at the end of this year, so you bet a very ambitious capstone project and exegesis is on its way to you, yes you who’s still here tuning in. lots of luv im sorry for ghosting.

i have a lot of anxiety about my current Uni situation (the intense workload then looking for industry hours and internships, starting freelance and what not) and i feel like i’ve been grabbing a lot of strength from fellow creatives more than my own, namely my boyfriend, who is also in the vlog. i got dat No Chill starter pack; i worry very easily, with the tendency to forget to eat while unhealthily focused on certain tasks, therefore needing some exterior support, like an alarm to remind me when to take breaks, and of course pep talks (drives him nuts tbh). it comes out most frequently when due dates are close, which i guess is understandable, but i do need to work on how i handle stress and overall staying healthy.

perhaps i should address the elephant in the room: a boyfriend??? yes your juvenile teen has grown up, got her heart broken and came back for more came back strong. i remember being quite vocal about how relationships made me cringe as a twelve year old, which i guess stems from having a lot of platonic ones with guys at the time or just not finding anyone i liked enough. well after 18 years of watching my friends go through it i finally just broke out of that shell and entered one myself, learned enough from that experience and tried again. all i can say is that it’s one thing to have exterior support coming from friends and family—it’s another when it’s from a ‘romantic angle’, especially when it’s not toxic. and boi every single day of the last eight months have been a breath of fresh air. while it definitely isn’t perfect, being told i’m worth the trouble really keeps things runnin.

#jul2019 #love finds a way yes?

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kurtismarleau-blog · 7 years

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I Need to Stop Feeling so Hopeless.

My name’s Kurt, I play bass in a rock band called Glass Iris. I started Glass Iris in highschool with a vision. I wanted to combine the raw aggressive elements of the band Nirvana with the psychedelic processed sound present in bands such as Porcupine Tree. I got a part time job and invested every penny I made into creating the sound I had in my head. I recruited two of my best friends on guitar and drums and I’m still privileged enough to continue to work with them today. I achieved this vision by building an effects board which today has 11 of the weirdest pedals on the market. I take pride in the investments I’ve made (yes, I’ll admit I am a bit of a materialist.) as they’ve shaped a high quality and original sound that is close to the sound I’ve been hearing in my head since I was a kid. Curtis (my drummer) and Devon (my guitar player) are among the most complimentary musicians I’ve worked with. The three of us obsess over tone. There’s always a knob that can be turned or something new to be saving for.

I’ve been told as an artist that I will never be satisfied. This has become painstakingly true in my lack of confidence. I hate my singing voice although I took lessons for years and know the technique. I don’t think we’re a great band as I’m always listening for the mistakes. This makes the need for improvement extreme. This year I’ve taken on Devon as a student and we’ve both been learning the modes of a scale and incorporating them into our newer compositions. We’ve moved away from the pop song structure and really started to move towards a more progressive sound feel. I’ve been teaching my singer, Justin, some new techniques that I learned while taking music lessons and watching him improve is one of the most satisfying things I’ve experienced thus far in my musical journey. We’re in the process of bumping up our social media game and releasing merchandise later this year. Things are becoming very exciting!

I still don’t see the listening value in our music however. I still don’t know how to react when people recognize me as “the bassist of Glass Iris” rather than Kurt. I still have trouble taking people seriously when they try to compliment a performance. I guess I really shouldn’t have spent two years indoors.

Recently our local rock bar here in Barrie, The Foxx hosted a competition during it’s open jam nights. The winner will receive two free song recordings at One Star Studio. Since August I’ve been at The Foxx every Wednesday for open jam to try and apply what I’ve been learning musically at home in a real life situation. I’ll tell myself I’m going to try and play the phrygian mode during a jam tonight, or I’m going to walk underneath this guys acoustic song, or I’m not bringing a guitar pick this time because I’m a bassist and I should be playing with my fingers. It’s been great and my playing has definitely progressed but I’m still not satisfied.

The band has been lying low. I can’t say exactly what’s happening but we’re getting ready to do some big things this year. We decided to come out of hiding for the recording competition in hopes of being able to use the studio to aid us in the composition process. It’s possible that this competition has a fine print for the winner and we may have to have the songs already written, but I’m not counting on winning. The other bands in my opinion are much more deserving especially An Ostriches Hypothesis. There’s so much groove and some amazing musicians in that trio. I’d be thrilled to see them win.

The contest ran for six weeks. We showed up on the second week with our pedal boards and our guitars ready to perform. I was informed I wouldn’t be able to use my Gallien Krueger head as it only accepted speakon cable and the cabinet I would have been plugging into used 1/4′. So I was forced to use the house amp. A Fender Rumble head. I’m familiar with the rumble series as my first real amp was a Fender Rumble 30 but the difference was I was running effects now. I turned on the amp and the sound that came from it was explosive. It completely rejected my effects because I had dialed them in for the active equalizer on my Gallien Krueger amp while the Fender amp had a passive Equalizer. I got it somewhat under control but by now my anxiety had kicked in and started to take its toll on my overall performance. I missed pedal switches, I sped up, I messed up a solo (yes we do a bass solo. Fuck off purists.), my distortion was too loud, my chorus was too watery, it was a shit show. I got off stage to Steve shaking my hand and going off about how “Lost in the Obscenities” is such a good tune. He went up on stage, promoted the show his band had coming up and extended a huge thank you to Glass Anus which lightened the mood we had walking off stage. This was the first show where I personally really let my bandmates down. Everyone played exceptionally except me. The moment I have an anxiety attack everything locks up and I just can’t do it. It always happens so fast and by the time it’s over I’m walking off stage physically and emotionally drained. There was no doubt in my mind that we’d be back.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7R8Z3fD_O1Q

We returned on the final week of the contest. I knew what to expect this time and did everything I could to keep myself in good spirits before the show. Curtis and I decided to take turns reminiscing on embarrassing performances we’ve had for some laughs. He called me out for writing a song about my ex and I called him out for stopping early during one of songs at another show. We recalled our days in Tonal Instinct where we told our previous singer to write a metaphorical song about the growth of a tree. The guy decided to write “there once was a tree in a field he has seen it all”... Not really what we had intended. Go look it up for the cringes if you’re interested. Despite the cringefest it put Curtis, Devon and I in good spirits. Justin showed up to the venue later on in the evening and we got the ok to setup. I finished setting up relatively quickly and decided to take the opportunity to join Aaron who was playing an acoustic song. Normally having a bassist for an acoustic song at open jam is considered to be taboo but I needed time to dial in my effects for this one. I got my chorus and my multiwave distortion dialed in during this jam session. I also got my EQ to sound nice and growly.

The show was tight. One of our tightest sets to date. There were hiccups that I’m still pissed off happened and my tone wasn’t complimentary to Devon’s but it was a definite improvement. Once again Steve obsessed over Obscenities and I got back at him for the Glass Anus joke. I went up to the mic and explained that “NothingBox is a reference to Steve’s fruitless sex life.” Normally after a good show I’ll ask my fellow musicians at The Foxx for criticism. I didn’t get much criticism at this show. I was really annoyed by this. I tried being respectful and saying “y’know that means a lot” but there always has to be something. It was better but I still hated that it wasn’t perfect and the fact that my fellow musicians thought it was acceptable was beyond me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NpcCVdWlf1g

Last Wednesday they announced the finalists. I was taught that you dress up for any award ceremony even if you know you’re not going to win. It’s something you do out of respect for the hosts. So I went down in a dress shirt and vest. Of course with Barrie being the stoner town that it is, I was the only one dressed up. Devon and I were the only two who could make it out of Glass Iris that night. I was disappointed in the small turnout that night despite all of the bands that competed. In my opinion if you had the balls to compete you should have the balls to be there for the announcement. Around midnight Murray (the cook at The Foxx. We don’t normally talk about Murray.) came up to me and Devon and told us we’re among the finalists. I didn’t believe him at first. I thought it was some kind of sick joke with a rude punchline. I had to go up to the owner, Shane and get confirmation.

So here I am tonight. Obsessively practicing the set for our finalist performance on Wednesday. We’ll be sharing the stage with Vntler, An Ostriches Hypothesis, and The Cooked Book. All of which have insanely superior musicians to us. They’re all good friends of mine too so I’d be thrilled to see any of them win the recording time. But I’ve learned a lesson from this whole experience. I need to stop letting my hopelessness translate into my performances and actually give myself a chance. I’m going to make it a goal to start managing this project with a little bit more optimism than what I have been because if we’re good enough to make the finalists we’re good enough to appeal to somebody. I’m still speechless. It’s the weirdest shit having our name on that poster. It’s time to improve.

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