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erin-bo-berin · 4 years

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Cupid

MASTERLIST

This was requested by @sundippedprincess I’m pretty sure! Oh man, don’t we all love some daddy Spencer? I couldn’t resist writing this cute little fluff piece. Hope it’s a good start to all of you guys’ Mondays. Happy reading!

Spencer Reid/Reader

Rating: G (fluff)

Word Count: 4,773

For as long as you could remember, you wanted to be a teacher.

Apparently, after coming home from your first day in kindergarten, you had announced to your parents that you wanted to be a kindergarten teacher. Twenty years later, you were living your dream.

Your kindergarten kids were your whole life. You always loved seeing them, watching them grow and learn. You typically dreaded summer vacation because you missed your kids and teaching so much, despite the few months of break.

This was only your second year of teaching, but you were enjoying it just as much as your first. It was tough saying goodbye to the first group of students, but it made it worth it when you saw them in the school halls and some still ran up to greet you.

School had just let out for another day and you already missed the bright young minds of your students. You were cleaning up your classroom before working on some grading when you heard a small voice coming from your doorway.

“Miss Y/L/N?”

You turned and saw a little girl with light brown curls and a turquoise blue backpack standing in your doorway, looking hesitant. She was one of your best behaved students, Ayla Reid.

“Ayla! Did you forget something?”

She shook her head, her ponytail bouncing with the movement.

“My daddy is late and they told me at the office to come stay with you instead of waiting outside by myself. Is that okay?”

She was the sweetest little girl. She was a bright little girl as well, having no trouble with soaking up new knowledge like her brain was a tiny sponge. She was always kind and helpful when it came to other classmates, but she never hesitated to speak her mind. All in all, she was an outgoing, bubbly little girl with a heart of gold.

“Of course, sweetie. Come on in.”

You took the chair to her desk off the top of it, setting it back on the floor so she could sit in her usual place.

You peeked over your shoulder as you headed to your arts and crafts station to see her settling in to her normal desk. You grabbed some paper and crayons and walked back to her with them in hand.

“Would you like to color while you wait?”

She nodded, smiling big.

“I love to color!”

You laughed, knowing that all too well. It was one of her favorite activities when doing schoolwork.

“Is your daddy always late when picking you up?” you asked, sitting back down behind your desk.

“Yeah. Sometimes it’s just a few minutes, but he’s never been this late,” she answered.

She’d already opened the box of crayons and was starting to draw before you’d even asked your question.

You glanced at the clock in your room to see it was nearing 3:15. School let out at 2:30–Ayla’s father was nearly an hour late.

“This doesn’t happen all the time,” she said, “‘Cause sometimes my mommy picks me up.”

You understood that. Plenty of your students had parents who worked full time and was occasionally late to pick them up.

She said nothing else as she was busy with her picture, so you started sorting through the turned in work for the week so far. You would have to log in grades and update the grades later on so it was just easier to get through this first step now.

“My daddy works a lot,” Ayla said out of the blue.

You looked up, smiling, seeing her still hard at work with her crayons.

“What does he do?” you asked, interested.

“He’s a pwofiler. I’m not quite sure what that means but he works in the FBI. That’s like the police but more important.”

You chuckled. She wasn’t one to miss much. When you’d said she was incredibly smart, you hadn’t been exaggerating.

“That sounds like a very interesting job. I’m sure you’re incredibly proud of him, Ayla,” you said.

“Mhm,” she nodded big, looking up from her picture, “He’s very smart too. He’s got a robotic memory!”

You raised a brow, not quite sure what she meant, but laughed anyway.

“Is that so? That’s impressive.”

“He a docta. But not like the ones you go to when you’re sick.”

She went back to the picture and you watched her for a moment, amused. There was so much energy and spunk in this little girl. You wouldn’t doubt for one minute that her parents had their hands full with her.

“Can I show you my picture?” she asked.

“Of course, let me see.”

You stood up, walking over to her desk, crouching to her level.

On it, there were several stick figures.

“Oh that’s beautiful,” you grinned, “Are these your friends?”

“No, these my aunties and uncles at the BAU. That’s where my daddy works.”

“I see,” you said, listening intently.

“This my daddy,” she pointed to the tallest of the group.

“This is auntie Emily, auntie JJ, auntie Penelope and auntie Tara.”

She smiled proudly as pointed at the obvious female stick figures.

“And what about these three?” you asked, motioning to a group of men.

“That is uncle Luke, uncle Dave and uncle Matt. The two on that side are uncle Hotch and uncle Derek. They don’t work with my daddy anymore but they still my uncles.”

“Wow, you’ve got a lot of extended family, don’t you?”

“Yes,” she beamed.

“Ayla, honey, I’m so sorry.”

You stood up from where you were crouching next to Ayla to see a quite tall man walking into your classroom, a tan, leather satchel slung over his body.

“Daddy!” Ayla squealed, jumping out of her seat, running towards him.

She collided into his legs, hugging him and he picked her up with a big smile on his face, kissing her cheek.

You took the moment to get a better look at him, now that he was closer.

He was undeniably attractive, but didn’t seem to be the type that flaunted his looks either. His light brown hair was as curly as his daughter’s and looked to be in a bit of disarray, part of it falling over his forehead while other curls fell in numerous directions.

He was outfitted in a work suit, a tie and sweater underneath his suit jacket. He pulled it off very well.

His eyes gleamed as he looked at his daughter and she kissed his stubbled cheek. You didn’t fail to notice his sharp jawline or his easy, bright smile either.

“I’m sorry I’m so late,” he apologized, whether to Ayla or you, you weren’t entirely sure.

“It’s okay daddy. I like Miss Y/L/N. She’s pretty like a princess.”

You sucked in a breath in surprise, touched by her words. You couldn’t help when your eyes immediately teared up. It was such a sweet and sincere thing for Ayla to say and knowing kids were brutally honest, you knew she meant every word of it.

You cleared your throat, composing yourself when you noticed Ayla’s father watching you, eyes squinting in concentration.

He probably thinks you’re a blubbering fool, you thought.

“It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Reid,” you extended your hand.

“It’s docta Reid,” Ayla corrected you, emphatically.

“Excuse me, I’m sorry. Dr. Reid.”

He chuckled, setting Ayla back down and telling her to get her things together.

“It’s no big deal,” he said, shaking your hand.

You tried not to focus on the fact his hand was so large in yours as you quickly pulled back, silencing any further thoughts.

“I told Miss Y/L/N how you’re a pwofiler and have a robotic memory!” Ayla exclaimed, as she cleaned up her desk, putting her picture in her backpack.

“Uh, it’s actually eidetic,” he said, flushing a bit.

“I couldn’t remember what it was called so I just went with robotic,” Ayla shrugged.

You both chuckled at her response, before turning back to each other.

“I was wondering how smart you must be to have a robotic memory,” you smiled.

“Well she was kinda close,” he grinned, running a hand through his hair, “Eidetic is just another term for photographic memory.”

“Oh wow,” you said, surprised, “That’s impressive. No wonder you have such a brilliant daughter.”

He smiled appreciatively and said his thanks before speaking again.

“I don’t remember seeing you at the Kindergarten registration a few months ago.”

“Oh, unfortunately I wasn’t able to attend as I was sick. My teacher’s assistant Mrs. Lamb stepped in for me. Apparently she was a big hit though because she got all the kids to believe she was from Old MacDonald's Farm!”

You cringed inwardly at your spiel. You were used to talking to five year olds and other teachers, definitely not attractive dads, let alone men in general.

You chided yourself again. He was probably married anyway and you had little business drooling over a student’s father.

His smile was on full display though as he laughed at your statement.

“Come on Ayla, we need to get going. I have to head back to work for a little while but you can hang out with auntie Penelope okay?”

“Okay!” she grinned, putting on her backpack and taking his hand.

They were just leaving when something made you stop them.

“Um, Dr. Reid?”

He paused, turning back to you.

“Yes?”

“If you ever find yourself running late to pick Ayla up, I’d be happy to let her stay in my classroom until you get here.”

You’re not sure why you offered. Well for one, you really did like Ayla, she was such a sweet girl. But you tried to convince yourself that it was just a nice gesture to hopefully make things a bit easier on him. You knew sometimes your parents struggled with finding someone to pick up their child from school on time.

It wasn’t because you hoped to see him again. Definitely not.

“Oh you don’t have to. I can try to get away earlier when possible,” he protested.

“No, it’s okay,” you reassured, “I’d love the company. Besides, she’s such a joy to have.”

He seemed to take a moment to think it over before nodding.

“I just may take you up on that.”

•

“Daddy, what does pwofiling mean?”

Spencer had just lifted Ayla into the car and placed her into her booster seat, where she was currently buckling the seatbelt to it.

“Well,” he paused, intrigued at what could have brought on her sudden question, “It’s just studying a person’s behavior. For example, I can recognize how you behave guiltily when you eat the last cookie in the cookie jar.”

Ayla grinned big, not in the least bit ashamed.

“But you do that with bad guys right?”

“That’s correct, baby,” he smiled, kissing her forehead.

He closed the back door and walked around to the driver’s side door, sliding in. He had just gotten his own seatbelt clicked into place when she spoke again.

“Daddy, I pwofiled you.”

“Did you now?” he chuckled, amused at his little girl’s comment.

“Yes,” she nodded, “You like Miss Y/L/N.”

“Well of course I do, she’s your teacher and she’s very nice.”

“No, I mean you like like her,” she emphasized.

“What makes you say that?” he asked.

“Because you’re smiling all goofy,” she said like it was the most obvious thing in the world, “You only smile like that when you talk about things you know about.”

He felt himself flush a little bit. It was true, he hadn’t stopped smiling since they’d left Ayla’s classroom. There was something refreshing about her teacher and he would have to be blind to not admit she was indeed as Ayla had said, very pretty.

“Are you going to ask her to be your girlfriend?” Ayla asked as he drove out of the school parking lot.

He chuckled at her brazenness.

“Honey, I don’t even know her. Besides, I’m too busy to date.”

“I’m busy too but I have a boyfriend.”

“You do?” Spencer asked, trying his best to hide his surprise.

“Of course, daddy,” she rolled her eyes, exasperated, like she was a teenager already, “I’m busy and don’t always get to see Michael but he my boyfriend.”

Spencer smiled to himself. Michael LaMontagne was his best friend JJ’s and her husband Will’s youngest son. He was a little over two years older than Ayla, but she always proclaimed that Michael was her boyfriend. The two got along extremely well and it was incredibly adorable.

He decided not to comment any further on it though because he knew she wouldn’t give up on it easily.

“Baby, you know what days daddy picks you up, right?”

“Yup. Mondays and Fridays.”

“Good. Since I never know when I might be running late, will you ask Miss Y/L/N if you could stay with her until I get there?

“Okay daddy.”

She turned to the window, watching the passing landscape, her previous conversation apparently finished.

He’d be lying to himself if he said he wasn’t looking forward to seeing Ayla’s teacher again.

•

Ayla rushed out of the elevator when the doors opened on the floor the BAU was located on.

“There’s my favorite girl!”

Penelope has been waiting for them, excited to spend time with her goddaughter. As she was her only goddaughter, Ayla definitely got a bit spoiled.

“Auntie Penelope!” Ayla squealed, running into Garcia’s arms.

“How was your day at school, pumpkin?” she asked.

“Good,” Ayla beamed.

“Must’ve been, your daddy is 15 minutes late getting back,” Garcia said, eyebrow raised in amusement.

“Uh, traffic,” Spencer said.

“No,” Ayla shook her head, looking up at Spencer, “You were busy smiling at Miss Y/L/N.”

“Miss Y/L/N?” Garcia questioned, her interest piqued.

“She’s my teacher,” Ayla explained, “And she’s really pretty, auntie Penelope. Like a princess!”

“Like a princess, huh?”

Garcia was now eyeing Spencer hardcore with a knowing grin. Spencer knew she would be all over this with a million questions before long.

“Sweetie, why don’t you go hang out with auntie Penelope now while daddy finishes up his work?”

“Alright. Come on auntie Penelope! I wanna show you the picture I drew!”

Ayla grabbed her hand, practically dragging Garcia towards her lair.

Garcia looked over her shoulder pointing a finger at him.

“Don’t think you’ve escaped my questions! We’re talking about this later!”

Spencer knew good and well they would be.

“So, a pretty kindergarten teacher, huh?”

Spencer startled, seeing Luke standing in the doorway of the BAU, his back against the glass door, holding it open. In his hand was a plastic cup of coffee that he was drinking. He’d obviously been here longer than Spencer had realized and had heard everything.

“Don’t you start too,” he grumbled.

“Hey, I’m just curious!” Luke protested, following Spencer in as he walked into the unit, “How pretty is she?”

“Very,” Spencer mumbled to himself.

Getting her out of his head would be the best thing to do, although maybe not the easiest.

•

It was the third time that you were keeping Ayla in your classroom after school until Dr. Reid could pick her up.

You found yourself counting down the hours every Monday and Friday, waiting to see his bright and smiling face.

You couldn’t believe you were looking forward to a maybe five minute encounter out of your entire day, but here you were.

“Miss Y/L/N?” you heard Ayla call from her desk.

“Yes?”

You looked up from the learning packets you were stapling together for the new week.

“Is it okay if I feed Freddy?”

Freddy was the class pet, a neon tetra fish. He was a simple fish, one that was easy for new fish owners, from what you’d researched before getting him.

He was small, but feisty. His coloring really took you by surprise when you first got him. With colors of bright red and green, red towards the end of his body and a lime green towards his front with a turquoise blue duochrome look to him, he always looked festive and bright.

He had an automatic fish feeder, but every once in a while you let one of your students throw a small amount in for him as an extra treat.

“Of course,” you smiled, getting up to help her.

You walked over to the fish tank and grabbed the fish food, opening it for her.

“Now, just get a tiny little pinch, okay?”

She nodded and did what she was told, her face serious as she concentrated on what she was doing.

Stepping up on the stool you left in front of the tank—for the small kids purposes—she sprinkled the food into the water. Freddy immediately devoured it.

“I think he liked it,” she smiled, watching him through the glass.

“I think he did too,” you agreed.

“Well, what do we have here?”

You turned, seeing Dr. Reid walk in, a smile on his face.

Your stomach fluttered, seeing him again for the first time in days.

“I fed Freddy, daddy!” Ayla grinned big, running to give him a hug.

“Did you now? That’s a very big girl task! I’m proud of you! High five!”

He was crouched in front of her, hugging her but then he pulled out of her embrace and held up his hand, which she high fived.

“It’s time to get your things kiddo, we’re having your favorite for dinner tonight,” he said.

“Chicken nuggets with sweet potato fries?”

“You guessed it! Now go,” he shooed her towards her desk.

You smiled, watching them. He stood back up, facing you with a small smile.

“I hope she wasn’t any trouble.”

“Not at all. She’s an angel. She’s probably one of my best behaved students,” you said.

“Now that’s surprising,” he chuckled.

“Miss Y/L/N,” Ayla called, coming back over with her backpack on her back, “You should come to dinner tomorrow night.”

“I-” you began, in attempt to politely turn her down, when Dr. Reid spoke before you.

“Bunny, you’re going to be at your mom’s tomorrow night,” he said.

Ayla’s reply was simple and to the point.

“I know.”

You felt your eyes widen and your face heat when you realized her insinuation. Dr. Reid looked just as flustered and thrown as you felt.

“Ayla, honey, you know daddy has to work tomorrow. Remember I told you I had to work late?” Spencer stammered, trying to say the entirety of the few sentences.

At that point, you just wished for a hole to open up in your classroom floor and swallow you. If it wasn’t awkward enough that one of your students had basically just asked you out for her own father, then it was definitely the fact that he was trying to backpedal on the “invite” and most likely because he had no interest in you, not that you could blame him.

“Daddy, you told me it’s wrong to tell a lie,” Ayla gave him a look.

You were sure at this point Dr. Reid had turned scarlet from his face all the way down his neck. You felt bad for him, but still felt the awkwardness of the situation.

“You said that when I was at mommy’s house last week. You said this week you wouldn’t have to work late.”

Somehow, this behavior from Ayla didn’t surprise you in the slightest. When she was set on something, she was determined to accomplish it.

He looked up at you, clearly uncomfortable but you spoke before he could, trying to salvage the situation.

“Don’t worry,” you chuckled, “Kids will be kids. Believe me, I know. I have 28 of them for 8 hours, 5 days a week.”

His smile eased a bit and you felt yourself relax a tiny amount.

“I hope you have a good weekend Ayla and I’ll see you Monday,” you said.

You couldn’t help but notice her pouty expression as Dr. Reid took her hand and left your classroom.

You almost had to breathe a sigh of relief after living through that awkward moment.

You had just sat down behind your desk and resumed stapling papers together when you heard your name being called.

“Miss Y/L/N?”

You glanced up, seeing Dr. Reid in the doorway sans Ayla.

“Yes? Did Ayla forget something?”

You stood, ready to head towards her desk to check for a missing folder or a favorite toy.

“Actually, no, I did.”

You gave him a confused look before he began to explain.

“I was- uh I was actually wondering if maybe you’d like to get coffee sometime? With me? Or maybe ice cream or something considering it’s still pretty hot? Hot outside I mean.”

Your stomach quite literally did a flip flop at his cute, nervous, rambling.

Here was a grown man, who worked in the FBI, had a child and could probably rival a Bachelor contestant, yet he managed to adorably stumble over his words as he asked you out.

“Well, I practically live off coffee because of my job,” you said.

“So do I,” he grinned, a small, new found connection between the two of you, discovered.

“But ice cream sounds nice,” you smiled, “Whenever you’re free that is.”

“Tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow sounds fine,” you concluded, “Hold on.”

You turned to grab a sticky note from your desk, jotting something down quickly.

“My number,” you smiled, handing it to him, “Just let me know what time.”

“It’s a date.”

“It’s a date,” you confirmed.

“Oh and for future reference, I’m Spencer.”

“Y/N,” you grinned.

With a smile on his own face, he walked back out of your classroom, presumably to an awaiting Ayla.

You had to hold back your laughter when you heard her next statement all the way from the hallway, clear as day.

“I think I know now why uncle Morgan used to say you got no game.”

•

It was roughly 2 pm the next afternoon as you stood outside the ice cream parlor that was near the elementary school.

You fidgeted in place nervously, wondering if he was going to show.

His actual asking you on a date was so sudden and abrupt, you’d hardly had time to wrap your head around it.

With one glance down at your outfit, you tried hard not to criticize yourself. You’d changed about six times before finally deciding on a simple, cute, sleeveless sundress in an aqua turquoise color. It would be cool, cute, casual and not trying too hard.

“You look nice and cool.”

You turned to see Spencer approaching you and you smiled, relieved that he actually showed up and it wasn’t just a dream.

“Hot enough for you?” you chuckled.

“Too hot,” he agreed, “Shall we?”

He motioned after him and you walked into the wonderful chilly air of the ice cream parlor. He even held the door open for you; this man was already amazing.

There was only polite small talk while you both ordered; mint chocolate chip in a cone for him, vanilla in a cup with numerous toppings for you.

“Vanilla?” he raised an eyebrow at your choice.

“Only if I’m in the mood for a lot of toppings,” you elaborated.

You’d ordered your ice cream with Oreo pieces, rainbow sprinkles and chopped nuts.

When you both retrieved your orders from the counter, he peeked over at yours.

“There any ice cream under there?” he teased.

“Hush,” you chuckled.

You found a shaded table outside to sit at. Despite the heat, a small breeze occasionally cooled the temperature, making it a bit more bearable.

“So, Y/N.”

“That’s my name,” you smiled.

It was amazing how up until this point, you’d been so nervous for this date, but sitting in front of him, you were much more comfortable.

He took another lick from his cone, a thoughtful expression on his face.

“Why teaching?”

You raised a brow, figuring you’d get in a question of your own too.

“Why the FBI?” you inquired.

He chuckled, appreciating your challenge.

“I’ll answer your question if you answer mine,” he said.

“Well—as the story goes, my parents claim—I came home from my first day of Kindergarten claiming I was going to be a teacher, specifically a kindergarten teacher. I don’t remember this at all,” you laughed, “But apparently it was kismet.”

He watched you intently as you talked, eating his ice cream silently as he hung on to your every word. It was surprising at how nice it made you feel to know he was interested in knowing about you.

“I joined the FBI when I was 22.”

“Wow, that’s really young and impressive,” you said, eyes wide.

“Well to preface this, I was somewhat of a childhood prodigy. I graduated high school at 12 and managed to earn three PhDs by 20, plus two BAs.”

You stared at him open mouthed, your spoon halfway to your mouth, the ice cream on it melting and dripping back into the cup.

He looked embarrassed and a bit uncomfortable. Something told you that while he was proud of his achievements, he wasn’t one that really enjoyed bragging about them.

“That explains the title of Doctor and the robotic memory.”

That seemed to break the spell and his face broke into a grin as he laughed easily at his daughter’s antics.

“That child, I swear. She’s something else.”

“She really is,” you agreed.

There was a lull in conversation and you decided to ask him about what you were wondering from the previous afternoon.

“So...you and your wife are separated or divorced I assume?”

“Oh me and Ayla’s mom have never been together actually.”

“Oh,” you said, surprised.

It wasn’t uncommon for you to deal with divorced, separated or even single parents of your students, but to actually know the circumstances like this was unusual for you.

He nodded.

“I wasn’t in a place for a relationship and neither was her mother, so all we ever had was a physical relationship and Ayla was the result of that. We remained friends and co-parent now. She’s got a lovely fiancé now though that’s great with Ayla. But as messed up and impractical as that relationship was, I wouldn’t change it for anything though because it gave me Ayla and I’ve never regretted her for a moment,” Spencer said.

“She clearly adores you,” you smiled, “You’re a great father too.”

“Thank you,” he smiled shyly, “I try my best. But what about you, anyone special?”

He winced the moment the question left his mouth.

“Well if there was, I wouldn’t be here now would I?”

You could help but tease him, flashing him a joking expression.

“Point taken,” he laughed inwardly, “It didn’t dawn on me how obvious the question was until I said it. I’m sorry, I’m not really good at this dating thing. It’s been a long time since I’ve done it, actually.”

He looked pained, like a teenager on his first date, but you found it extremely endearing.

“Well I think you’re doing just fine,” you reassured him, “Also, no.”

His brow crinkled in confusion.

“No, what?”

“No, there’s no one special in my life. Unless you count 28 five year olds,” you snickered.

Sometime during the conversation, you’d both finished your ice cream. You tossed your trash and returned to the table.

“I’ve got a few hours before I have to pick up Ayla. Would you like to take a walk?” Spencer asked.

“Sure,” you agreed.

The two of you walked side by side, chatting it up about a variety of different things until his tinkering chuckle made you glance up at him, curious to what he found so funny.

“What is it?”

“It just struck me funny,” he said, pausing to look down at you.

You stopped with him, waiting for him to continue.

“Who would’ve thought my five year old daughter could be such an adorable yet successful pint sized Cupid?”

You had to agree as your face broke into your hundredth smile of that afternoon. She had been persistent and it seemed like her persistency had paid off.

He was right though, you’d never in a million years imagined one of your pupils playing matchmaker for you.

But you were glad Ayla had.

How thankful you were to have her in your class.

“She was right, you know,” Spencer said, more serious now.

“About what?”

“You are as pretty as a princess.”

As you two resumed your walking, the smile now permanently plastered on your face, you could’ve sworn you felt his hand brush yours ever so slightly.

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gayenerd · 3 years

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This is another article I found during the internet k-hole I went into while looking for information about Adrienne’s ex-fiance, saved in a document, and now can’t find online anymore. I think it was originally featured in the Mankato Free Press, but the author apparently had a blog detailing her 2009 efforts to get in contact with Adrienne and campaign for Green Day to play in Mankato again. There’s some more interesting tidbits about the Mankato punk scene and an interview with Adrienne there.

Campaign Green Day: Reflection

By Amanda Dyslin

Free Press Features Editor

June 10, 2009 11:29 pm

— It was dark in the middle of the southern Minnesota countryside, somewhere by St. Peter in the summer of 1992.

On a farm with a barn and not much else, there was one light pole casting a shallow glow on three guys standing atop 6-foot wide, 5-foot tall wire spools — a makeshift stage to gain high ground over 200 or so people watching. Next to them was a big, old, beat-up beast of a car pulled up by the owner so 15 or so people could stand on top and gain a better view. One of them had a video camera.

Ben Gruber, then a sophomore at Loyola High School, was there. In fact, he and a buddy had helped haul equipment for the band, and even gave the drummer, Tre Cool, a ride before the show in Mankato. The music was good, he said. A lot more polished than other punk bands he’d seen in Mankato.

He was aware of the five-year-old band, born in Berkeley, Calif., he said. They’d put out a couple of smaller recordings, including their full-length debut “39/Smooth” on Lookout! Records. But they were two years from their breakthrough record, “Dookie,” which would have pretty much everyone at the show that night in awe of what they had experienced — maybe one of the last stripped down, small-scale punk shows Green Day would ever perform.

Mankato punk

The Libido Boyz are often considered the anchor of the Mankato punk scene in the late 1980s/early 1990s. It was a time when the city was rich with garage and basement punk bands, drummer Chad Sabin said before a reunion show in 2007. PSD and Plain Truth were a couple of other bands that got a lot of attention at the time.

Marti’s All Ages Music, located where the Vietnamese restaurant Tonn is now on Front Street, was an open building with a bathroom and a couple of booths where kids could put on shows. A couple of bands went on to the big time after playing there. The Offspring was one of them.

Many claimed having heard of friends who had seen Green Day play at Marti’s. According to a former talent booker, the closest Green Day ever came to playing the venue was when frontman Billie Joe Armstrong and his girlfriend, Adrienne Nesser, walked in and left right after The Offspring’s set in 1994. Marti’s tried to get Green Day to play the venue numerous times, but it was way too small for even the moderate level of fame they’d already gained pre-“Dookie.” Marti’s had the same trouble with the punk band Fugazi.

“It was pretty much no frills,” Gruber said. “There wasn’t much to do there.”

The bulk of the punk scene was made up of high school and college-age punk-rockers who would play anywhere, Sabin said. Like a lot of kids at the time, the Libido Boyz just wanted to play loud, chaotic music, which also is what people seemed to want to hear. Kids would cram into basements for concerts or listen outside garages.

“On any given week or weekend, there would be a show with anywhere from two to 10 bands playing,” Gruber said. “There was a really good crop of musician-age kids who were into (punk) for a while (before) grunge became very popular.”

During the next few years, the Libido Boyz got big. They played in the Cities and toured the state and eventually started playing shows across the country, including New York and San Francisco. Out West is where they met Green Day, who would become the biggest punk band to come through Mankato.

“They were just dirty punks like us,” Sabin said.

Former Libido Boyz bassist Dave Begalka said they played punk shows with Green Day from time to time while on tour. Mike Dirnt, Green Day bassist, actually did Begalka a big favor once when they played a show in Cleveland together.

Some of Begalka’s bass gear went missing, and a couple of months later he saw Dirnt when they both were playing shows in the California Bay Area. Turns out, the bass gear was mixed up with Dirnt’s equipment that night, and he’d been keeping it safe for him the whole time.

“I thought that was just downright a swell thing to do,” Begalka said. “As I recall, I think we couch surfed at Billy Joe’s that night. ... By the way, I still use the lost guitar strap that went around the U.S. with Green Day.”

The Libido Boyz and Green Day crossed paths in another way as well, through Adrienne, who was a student at Minnesota State University and living in Mankato.

The first lady

Adrienne (Nesser) Armstrong, now 39, was born in Minneapolis and started at MSU in the late 1980s, graduating with the class of 1994 with a degree in sociology.

She met Billie Joe on Green Day’s first tour in 1990. Some report it was a show at First Ave in Minneapolis, and she is quoted at greenday.net as saying only about 10 people were there. She asked Billie Joe where she could get a copy of the band’s CD, and the two hit it off.

While on tour, Billie Joe kept in contact with Adrienne by phone. Their first kiss inspired an early Green Day song, “2,000 Light Years Away.” Their relationship caused Billie Joe to arrange two tours around Minnesota so they could see each other, a relationship which lasted about a year and a half.

Although it’s unclear, witnesses who saw Billie Joe and Adrienne around Mankato during that time say the reason Green Day played shows in the area at all was simply because she was here. The shows weren’t a part of any tour, but rather impromptu ways to pass to the time.

The relationship fizzled after they decided the distance was too much of a strain. Adrienne got engaged to Billy Bisson, the frontman of Libido Boyz, the following year. Reports differ from either side, with some saying the relationship dissolved on its own. Bisson has been quoted as saying Billie Joe stole her away.

While in Mankato, Adrienne worked at various places, including the Piercing Pagoda in the River Hills Mall and Pagliai’s Pizza, and is described by those who knew her as a beautiful punk rock girl who everybody had a crush on.

Cheryl Rueda, manager of Pagliai’s, worked with Adrienne and three of the Libido Boyz at the restaurant when Adrienne was dating Bisson. Adrienne also babysat for Cheryl’s kids.

“She was a beautiful girl,” Rueda said. “I think the world of her. She was just a regular person.”

Thursday nights Adrienne babysat for Cheryl’s two kids, Andre and Marisa, who were about 3 and 6 at the time. She would often have a craft project or activity to do to keep them entertained. She even took them out trick-or-treating during a blizzard one year.

“She was their favorite babysitter,” she said.

Carrie Zempel Heise worked with her at a bar called The Jungle, now Dutler’s Bowl.

“I ran into her after the bar had closed down (she was working at Pier 1 Imports), and she told me she was moving out West soon,” Zempel said. “Months later, word got back that she had married Billie Joe, and then the next thing I saw was an interview with him in Rolling Stone magazine talking about his pregnant wife!”

When Adrienne finished school, Billie Joe convinced her to move to California and marry him. Rueda said it happened so fast it seemed she was gone over night. Before she left, she and friends had a big garage sale, said Amy Lennartson of Eagle Lake. She and Lennartson originally had plans to move to San Francisco together and open a business.

“She headed West that May, and I stayed over the summer to finish up my time at MSU,” Lennartson said. “Then, in true rock star fashion, I returned home from a Fourth of July vacation to a wedding invitation from Adrienne — to a wedding that had already happened.”

The wedding took two weeks to plan and happened in five minutes July 2, 1994, in Billie Joe’s backyard, according to the VH1 “Behind the Music” documentary. “We didn’t think about it, we just did it,” Adrienne said.

Protestant, Catholic and Jewish vows were exchanged because neither had a religion. The honeymoon took place 10 minutes from Billie Joe’s house at the Claremont Hotel. The day after the wedding, Adrienne found out she was pregnant.

The couple has two sons, Joseph Marciano, 14, and Jakob Danger, 10.

Adrienne now co-owns Adeline Records in Oakland, Calif., and Adeline Street clothing line. She works with the Natural Resources Defense Council, and co-owns Atomic Garden, an eco-friendly clothing and home goods store.

There is at least one friend in Mankato Adrienne is reported to keep in contact with. But said friend — whose basement Green Day was reported to have played in and who reportedly visited the Armstrongs in California — wasn’t eager to talk about it.

Rueda kept in contact with Adrienne for a while. Adrienne would send the Rueda kids Green Day T-shirts and things. She also sent a family photo to the Ruedas years ago. When Adrienne’s first son was 1 1/2, she came back to Mankato to visit and Rueda saw them. She was the same person she had always been, Rueda said.

A few years ago, Adrienne asked a friend in Mankato to go to the Ruedas’ house and videotape the kids so she could see how much they had grown up. Otherwise, the Ruedas haven’t heard from her since.

Big time

The night Green Day played St. Peter, the original plan was for them to play at someone’s house behind where Casey’s is now on Lee Boulevard in North Mankato.

Two local bands went on first. But the cops came and broke it up because of the noise. Gruber and his buddy offered to drive equipment and Tre Cool to a house on Fifth Street in Mankato, where somebody had offered up their basement. But the band took one look and said it was way too small.

That’s when a girl whose family lived off Hwy. 99 near St. Peter offered her place.

“This whole caravan of cars ended up driving out to her place,” Gruber said.

It was too hot to play in the barn. Gruber suggested the guys make a mini stage out of the wire spools, which they thought was pretty punk rock, even commenting on that stage and show later on a bootleg recording, he said.

Gruber said he later recognized songs such as “Welcome to Paradise” off of “Dookie” that they played that night — the night most people look to as the epitome of nostalgia when it comes to Green Day’s presence in Mankato. People still go to YouTube to check out the nine or so minutes of footage from that concert, despite being out of focus, jittery and too dark to see much.

“Took me back,” Gruber said of watching the footage. “That guy filming, he was probably standing right next to me and my friends.”

A couple of hundred people have similar memories from that night, having accidentally stumbled upon a concert that would become local legend. None of them could possibly have imagined what Green Day would become.

“Dookie,” released in 1994 — which followed 1992’s “Kerplunk,” having sold 50,000 copies — sold more than 10 million copies in the U.S. That album, along with those of The Offspring and Rancid, is credited for reviving mainstream interest in punk music, and it won Best Alternative Album at the Grammy Awards.

Future albums, “Insomniac” and “Nimrod,” went double platinum, and “Warning” went gold. None of them reached the level of success of “Dookie.”

But 2004’s punk rock opera “American Idiot” changed everything. Debuting at No. 1 and selling five million copies, critics absolutely drooled over it. “American Idiot” won Best Rock Album at the 2005 Grammys and swept the MTV Video Music Awards.

“Boulevard of Broken Dreams” spent 16 weeks at No. 1 on the Billboard Modern Rock Tracks chart and won the Grammy for Record of the Year. During the band’s 150-date tour in support of the album, they drew crowds of 130,000 people over two days in the United Kingdom.

The band’s new album, “21st Century Breakdown,” was released worldwide May 15 and received rave reviews. Last week the band played “The Tonight Show” with Conan O’Brien.

Their world tour kicks off in July, with the Minneapolis show at the Target Center July 11.

#daslfhasdlfkha imagine staying on the couch of a guy who wrote a sappy love song about your gf/fiancee #articles #Green Day #article #interview #babe-drienne #billie joe armstrong

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pcttrailsidereader · 3 years

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Spot, Spotters, and Spotted

Dave Baugher has been a regular contributor over the past several years. Although most of his posts have touched on the poignant and personal side of being out on the PCT, in this story he takes a mostly humorous examination of the using a SPOT device (although he does conclude with a story that reinforces the importance and value of SPOT devices).

Dave has also included a story in the upcoming 10th Anniversary edition of The Pacific Crest Trailside Reader that the Mountaineers Books will be publishing in 2022.

By Dave Baugher

The backpacker and his GPS are more like a match made in the local tavern, like beer and pretzels. Current Global Positioning tracking technology uses a network of satellites to determine the location of a device that was specifically designed for that purpose. The basic idea is that a GPS tracker uses trilateration to determine its physical location based on its distance from three GPS satellites. For the hiker going about his way on the trail, the technology is innocuous. However, for those following, the technology can spawn a myriad of humor, concerns, and dismay, just like an evening at that local tavern.

However, these devices sometimes baffle sideline audiences and armchair quarterbacks by the hiker's behavior on the trail, as shown on Google maps. Consider a little during-the-hike episode on the second day of my 2014 Pacific Crest Trail hike when I arrived at Lake Morena.

It was one of those quiet afternoons, with a scattering of high clouds, green cottonwoods around the lake, and the smell of fresh-cut grass on the breeze. Arriving at the county campground early in the afternoon, home tonight would be campsite #31. I laid my pack across the picnic table, took a long deep breath, and basked in the afternoon sun, planning for a much-anticipated shower, dinner, and relaxation. Getting up, I grabbed my pack; I walked down the dusty road to the Oak Shore Grocery and purchased a couple beers and a local newspaper. Returning to my campsite, the remainder of the evening played out precisely as planned. The shower was hot and clean; dinner was satisfying, and reading the newspaper with my cold beer was intimately relaxing.

Later, I discovered that my trip to the store generated multiple jokes amongst my friends who were monitoring my progress along the trail via SPOT; my compatriots were closely watching. Little did I know that the store was titled “Ice Cream Shop” on Google maps that year. Doug, a cigar-smoking jokester, slipped in a picture of a hot fudge sundae into my resupply box, retrieved from the Warner Spring Post Office later.

That incident had the usual inferences related to SPOT tracking. However, there is another facet to spotting folks on the trail when looking at the Google maps on a two-dimensional computer screen. That same year, while hiking on the JMT/PCT with my son Jacob and future-son-in-law Patrick, we merrily enjoyed our hike along the John Muir Trail. Family and friends focused on our progress via the SPOT and Google superimposed tracks. Once we returned home, I had several folks question our progress along several specific areas. Looking at the map of these locations, it was apparent that these areas had high elevation gradients sections with steep switchbacks. These challenging vertical sections for folk-uneducated in more nuanced aspects of topographic map detail would look at two-dimensional Google maps as a series of overlapping orange dots on the computer screen and wonder what was going on out there. Interesting indeed.

Another result of this GPS technology is that these devices are fast becoming legendary as a life-saving tool or beacon for someone in trouble. An example from 2017, during my spring solitary PCT hike in the Sierras north of Lake Tahoe. A snowstorm of near-blizzard violence had caught me below a high ridge near the timberline and forced me to take shelter for several nights in my tent. To my wife, Luann, that orange dot, unmoving for three days, meant I was dead, bear bait, feeding the worms, you get the picture. Luann would have called out the military to rescue me if it had not been for my son-in-law Patrick. An Eagle Scout and avid outdoorsman, Patrick had been watching the weather along my route. Understanding where I was and the current weather conditions, Patrick considered the situation. He reassured a panicked mother-in-law that I was ok. On the third day, the storm broke, and my Spot’s orange dot began moving once again on the home computer screen.

On that same trip, several of my “Spotters” discussed why my track appeared not to follow the trail. Confusion reigned amongst these folks spawning conversations about why Dave wandered over the PCT Trail line in a zig-zagging path. I overlapped the trail in quarter-mile eastward only then to veered westward over the track for another half-mile in a wayward fashion. Back and forth for days. Confusion amongst friends? You bet! Why? Well, the trail was covered in a deep spring snowpack, buried in fact. Signs, tree blazes, markers, and PCT emblems were nowhere to be seen in the deep snow. Conserving my GPS battery, I was using map and compass to follow the trail orienteering from one landmark to another,

Obviously, kinfolk following hikers along the trail via a tracking device retains a propriety attitude toward their favorite hiker. Actively considering “they” are, in fact, part of the adventure, living vicariously through the daily movement from the device strapped to a dusty pack. You might get the impression that almost every “Spotter” in my life nowadays has a Dave yarn or two to tell. Many of these should be preserved for posterity.

On another trip, difficulties began when I included a new friend, Steve, on my PCT Spot tracking list. During this particular PCT adventure, I encountered heavy snow depths on the PCT in Northern California. An impending spring storm approached the higher elevations out of Castle Craig’s State Park. After a quiet night's sleep, I awoke to boiling grey clouds, falling snow accompanied by a winter storm warning. Careful consideration of the weather and the impending climb to higher elevations coming along this trail section for the next 60 miles, I pulled the plug on the hike and retreated home.

Unfamiliar to my antics on the trail in the past, Steve was confused about why the orange dot was moving back down the trail along the same path from the day before. He contacted several of my friends about my wanderings. Technology malfunction? Nope, just a wise hiker returning home. Being spotted by spotters with my Spot on backpack, once again.

However, consider this; carrying a GPS transponder on a pack is an insurance policy for protection from the trail's worst events. Let me share the story about another hiker, George, from Palo Alto, CA. On June 30, 2008, during a summer backpacking trip in California’s Kings Canyon National Park, the 52-year-old hiker found himself suffering from acute abdominal pains on day ten of a 200-mile hike along the John Muir Wilderness Trail. At approximately 11:00 pm, George’s pain worsened, which led him to end his trek early and initiate an emergency alert with his SPOT transponder.

From George: “My friend and I were enjoying a great trip when I began experiencing an intense pain in my stomach near Safire Lake as we were setting up camp for the night.” “I knew something was very wrong, but being so far removed from any help at 10,800’ elevation and deep in the backcountry, I had no choice but put my faith in the SPOT, which I recently purchased for checking in with my family during his expeditions, press the 9-1-1 button and wait for help.”

The GEOS international response center received the message from George’s SPOT unit shortly after 11:15 pm and relayed the information to the Kings Canyon Ranger Center. Due to darkness and the ruggedness of George's terrain, the Ranger had to wait until daybreak before he hiked to George’s location to assess the situation.

According to rescue officials, when they reached George, his pain was severe, and there was no way for him to make it off the mountain on his own. That was when they requested a helicopter for an evacuation. George was flown to the Community Medical Centers in Fresno. He underwent immediate surgery for a perforated intestine, which, if left untreated, can be fatal. He was released from the hospital a few days later.

This is beautiful technology — the GPS transponder allowing hikers on the trail to happily wander through the mountains in relative safety. Friends and families able to follow the trek from afar. However, for the hiker going about his way on the trail, the technology is innocuous. Nevertheless, for those following, the technology can spawn a myriad of concerns, humor, and dismay, just like an evening at your local tavern.

#SPOT #GPS #GPS Tracks #Rescue

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twenty-sixumbrellas · 5 years

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Sworn Enemies

Pairing: Five Hargreeves x Fem! Reader

Prompt: “Hey! If you’re still taking requests could you maybe do a five x fem reader where five and the reader kinda hate each other but then end up as soulmates? And the siblings always knew they would end up together and all. Please make it cute and fluffy. Thank you 🥰” -an anon whom I love

A/N: I am likely going to keep this account closed but I didn’t think it was fair not to finish this. So sorry anon.

(Y/m/n)- your mom’s name

Flashbacks are in italics.

( Gif by @umbrellaacademy-uk )

Your mom stopped the car suddenly and you catch yourself from hitting the dashboard. You scowl at her, “You nearly killed me.”

“That’d be the dream. Get out.” You hop out of your once family car and she speeds away. Guess you’re on your own now.

You look at the sky. In a year and two months you would be turning 15, which is when that fateful tattoo which has your soulmate’s name would appear on your wrist.

Turning around, you see the massive Hargreeves manor looming over you. “Time to shine,” you muse. You go to open the door, when it turns out to be locked. “Great.”

It opens suddenly and a very young woman dressed from the 50s opens the door. “May I help you?” You knew at that instant. She was robotic. You could almost feel the electricity coursing through her.

You snap out of your haze before replying, “Uh, y-yeah. My mom- uh (y/m/n) dropped me off here because I have powers?”

She falters for a quick second, before saying, “Follow me.” You do. The inside is even nicer and you quickly notice a girl and boy your age, with brown curly hair and blonde straight hair, respectively. “This way,” she leads you to an office door. Knocking, she smiles.

“What is it?”

“(Y/m/n) has given up her child.”

“Send her in.” You walk in and that woman shuts the door behind you. “Sit.” You do. Looking around, your eyes land on his cold, unfeeling ones. “Why are you here?”

You chuckle. “I got kicked out. So here I am.”

“Indeed. Well, as you are 14 years of age, you are quite behind. Depending on how well you do in a test will determine if you stay,” he says coldly.

“Oh cool.”

He stands up. “Follow me.”

Walking through, he whispers to the woman who calls, “Children!” Seven kids around your age file in and all share curious looks.

“Number One, step forward.” The blonde you saw earlier steps forwards and you already knew. You hate this guy. He looks around proudly, and you feel the sparks warm up. “Well,” the old man snaps. “Show me what you have to offer.”

You weren’t going to do anything rash, that is, until he took a running start and reach out to hit you. You shoot a large spark out of your hand and he flies back, hits the couch and flips over it. Oops.

“Enough!” You turn to the old man who looks suspiciously pleased. “Welcome to the Umbrella Academy, Number Eight.”

And that’s when things got weird.

Every day, before dawn, you would have to charge the house with energy and wake everyone up. You ate with them, trained with them, and lived with them. Needless to say, you knew who was who.

Number One, Luther. You two obviously don’t like eachother, but you don’t care enough to do anything, and he’s too obedient. Number Two, Diego. He doesn’t seem to love you, per say, but you get along and sometimes you help him practice his enunciation. Number Three, Allison. She’s alright. Mostly, you see her with Number One. Weird. Number Four, Klaus. Your best friend. You’re powers are very different and you never train together, but any other time, you can count that you’re together. Same with Number Six, Ben, and Number Seven, Vanya.

Now for Number Five. What a piece of- nevermind. Ever since you first exchanged words, you were destined to be sworn enemies.

You had mostly met everyone on your own time, but not Five. He was standing a good distance away, with his arms crossed. You walk up and jokingly say, “What’s with the pout?”

To which he snaps, “I have better things to do than to meet useless people.”

It had just gotten worse with time.

He teleported in front of you whenever you were walking, or tried frequently to mess you up during missions. He didn’t even know why he was so mean.

He doesn’t like you, he thinks. Or maybe he likes you too much for his comfort, and pushes back his feelings with anger and rudeness. Maybe.

You, on the other hand, can’t stand him. The jerk had to ruin everything he could for you, and constantly was in your way. He would even go out of his way to take your attention off of important tasks. And! He had the nerve to make you like him. The jerk.

So, naturally, the entire Academy wanted you two to get together.

“They are SO soulmates!” Klaus throws himself onto Ben’s bed. He huffs, “They’re both just too prideful to admit it!”

Ben sighs and looks at Klaus. He was deep in thought. “Klaus.” Klaus’ eyes look toward Ben. “We’ll find out in three days, remember? Our birthdays?”

“I can’t wait that long!”

“Well,” Ben laughs before continuing, “you’ll just have to.”

Too bad it would happen at such a bad time.

You were sleeping when Reginald’s loud voice is heard throughout the manor. “Umbrella Academy! We have an emergency! A robbery at the bank across town! I expect you to be ready at 11:00 am sharp!”

“Crap.” You begin to pull on your dumb uniform and tie up your hair. Freezing, you say, “My mask. Where is it?” Searching around, you start to panic when the clock reached 10:58.

“Looking for something?” And sure enough, there Five is, in all of his jerk-iness, holding your Academy mask.

“Seriously?!”

“You really need to learn how to keep track of your stuff,” he says before swallowing. Why did you make him so nervous?

“Jerk,” you say, grabbing the mask and rushing out before he can see your blush at the contact.

“File out Umbrella Academy!”

The plan was simple. Klaus would stay and keep watch while Allison and Luther took the lead into the building. Diego would flank from the emergency doors and you and Five were to secure the perimeter. Simple enough.

You follow Five quickly through an alley, and you part to cover more ground. You take off your rubber gloves and stay low to the ground while still moving quickly.

You hear the crunch of glass, and quickly turn around, to be greeted with a hand to the throat. Trying to send shocks through his entire body was to no avail, as he had picked up your rubber gloves.

Eventually things start to become blurry, and you make one last attempt at attacking him, and you send enough electricity to fry the gloves and send the man flying.

Falling, you hear Five’s distant shouts. “(Y/n)! Are you okay?!” You look at him as he materializes in front of you.

“Yeah I’m alright. Just got caught off guard,” you say, rubbing your throat.

“Well, don’t do it again. I don’t need to have to go through another partner.” He reaches his hand out, but freezes once he sees the name on your wrist. As you look, sure enough, ‘Five Hargreeves’ had been written.

Sneaking a glance at his wrist, his name also had yours neatly written in his handwriting. “Well,” you awkwardly say.

He pulls you up and looks hesitant for a moment before, he leans in for a kiss. Moving apart, he chuckles. “I may have liked you more than I led on.”

“Ditto.”

You two stare at eachother smiling, until you hear Klaus’ distinct voice, “Guys! Help! Who’s Dave?”

You both laugh.

#the umbrella academy #the umbrella academy x reader #the umbrella academy imagines #number five x reader #five hargreeves x reader #five hargreeves imagine #five hargreeves #five x reader #number five #number 5 x reader

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radio-nano · 5 years

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Queen concerts were also successful beause of those guys!

Scroll if you want to learn who these guys are and what they did. You will also read about a Lord, a henna user, who had best haircut and Queen’s favorite food. (I wrote in bold letters the parts about Queen members and some funny facts.)

1. a"rigger". They assemble the stage (all 6000 square feet of it). Sometimes this can take two days, so there are two stages on this European tour. While one is being taken down at one venue, the other is being assembled at the next.

2 another "rigger".

3 John "Tumbridge" Wells, one of the security men responsible for looking after the members of Queen. "Tumbridge" looks after Brian May, escorts him wherever he goes and keeps the fans from getting too close.

4 Wally Gore group security, he looks after John Deacon

5 Alex Alexandrou, carpenter. There's two of us, and we put up all the stage scenery. I put up the walkways around the back and sides of the stage wich Freddie runs along. He likes to run on carpet, so I have to lay that down everywhere.

6. Chris "Crystal" Taylor, group coordinator. He organises all of the personal Queen crew, roadies, the security men. He makes sure they all know what they have to do and when they have to do it.

7. Jim Deveney, monitor engineer. "I sit out of sight on stage. I have to make things sound good so that the band can hear what they're doing. The sound comes through these speakers called "monitors" wich face onto the stage. The worst act I ever worked for was Rod Stewart. He was really miserable.

8. Joe Fanelli, Freddie's main personal assistant, who cooks for him at his London Home. "He likes anything really exotic, North African food, curries, good French cooking. He hates veal and doesn't eat carrots. Lambs is a bit iffy too. Brian's vegetarian but he eats fish. John likes very simple food, pie and mash and Roger likes anything but lamb.

9. Tony Williams, in charge of Queen's wardrobe. "I have to look after all of the band's stage clothes. That includes lots of details like making sure all the changes of clothes they need are backstage (Freddie changes about three times each performance), labelling the band's stage shoes (because they all wear the same stripey Adidas), and looking after Freddie's special moustache scissors. Also I have to wash all of their clothes in my hotel bedroom. My bath is always full. And Brian May has been using all this red henna do dye his hair and it comes out all over his shirts. It's very hectic".

10. Brandan Hyland, group security

11. One of the 15 "truckers" who each drive a massive 40 feet lorry loaded up with sound and lighting equipment. (For extra money they also operate the spotlights wich "follow" the group around stage).

12. Brian "Jobby" Zellis. one of Queen's personal road crew.

13 Brian May, Queen's guitarist.

14 John "Moxy" Glover, Roger Taylor's personnal roadie. "Basically I have to look after his drum kit and set it up on stage. I have to keep him supllied with drum sticks. He has sticks made with his own name on and he uses about ten sets a show. I got a bit drunk with Status Quo's roadies in Paris earlier this tour, and started throwing all his sticks in the audience.

15. Terry Giddings, group security.

16. Dieter Breit, physiotherapist for the group and crew. He has to look after any sprains and injuries that anybody might suffer, e.g. a sprained guitar-playing finger which needs massaging on Brian May's valuable hand.

17. A lighting assistant.

18. A "rigger"

19. Peter "Ratty" Hince, one of Queen's personal road crew. "I have to look after John Deacon's bass guitars and Freddie's guitar and special radio microphones (the one that don't have a fead) and keyboard instruments. I have to make sure that everything is exactly where it should be on stage, otherwise Freddie particularly will glare and let me know if anything's wrong. He's very particular about things being just right. Personally I don't enjoy these tour as much as the old ones. Nowadays ther's too much equipment, too many hangers-on, and everybody's trying to be important."

20. John "Collie" Collins, one of Queen's personnal road crew. "I'm the spare man, really. I work with Ratty and the piano tuner, help to see that everything is where it should be at the right time. Do you know I got married yesterday! I celebrated the wedding with the band and crew. It had to be squeezed in during the tour.

21. Roger Taylor, Those "shades"! That turned up collar! Must be Queen's drummer.

22. A trucker

23. Another trucker.

24. A rigger.

25. Another rigger

26 John Deacon, youn know , Queen's bass player, the one with the good haircut.

27 Tom "Midget" Foehlinger, sound monitor

28 An unknown person who sneaked in

29 Mickey Conafray, trucker

30 Mick Riddle, caterer

31 A lighting assistant

32 Albert Sutton, truck driver. "I carry the sound system, or some of it. We don't see the band or the road crew most of the time, because we travel ahead of everyone else. We have to get to the site before they do, and although we help with the setting up, we're off for two days while the rest of them are working on the concert. There are 15 "truckers" on this tour, plus the bus wich takes the road crew and sometimes the band. The worst thing about this job is being away from home for a long time when you're on tour. And the best thing is...erm maybe that should be a secret".

33. A caterer

34 Dave Lewis, another Caterer

35 A sound monitor.

36 Stave Benjamins, one of Queen's personal road crew, or "roadies" as they hate to be called. They look after all the instruments, microphones and amplifiers which Queen use on stage, setting them up, tuning them, and keep them clean.

37. another trucker"

38. Dave Thomas, caterer. I've been catering for Queen since 1975, every tour. The band eat the same food as everyone else, but they do have certain favorite foods. After a show they usually like an omelette or sometimes beans on toast or occasionally a steak au poivre. They're also pretty fond of Indonesian cooking".

39. Rex Ray, second sound engineer. He mixes the sound for all the support groups.

40. Spike Edney, keybordist and second guitar player: " My biggest fear is that it might get too damp, which makes the synthesisers cut out. I just pray that I'm out of clouting range of Freddie if that happens. He might not realise why I'm not playing and he'd be very upset if he thought I was daydreaming of something. But Queen on the whole are great to work with and they get drunk a lot too. Champagne every night, it's great!

41. Simon tutchener, lighting director. "I operate the main lighting console during the concert. It took three weeks to rehearse. I have a crew who set all the lights up, and 14 spotlights operators who I control through an intercom system and one man on a "Ver-lite", plus a man on the colour changer computer, plus a man on a computer which controls the up and down movement of the whole lighting rig, and then there are a few bits on stage, including Brian May special spaceship thing which comes down during his solo spot with all the flashing lights and..." (that's quite enought about lighting. Ed)

42 Stage rigger, who helps to set up the 6000 square feet of stage (all carpetted)

43 Sylvia Reed, assistant to the tour manager, Gerry Stickells. She is really a personal secretary.

44. James "Trip" Khalaf, chief sound enginer: "I mix the live sound for Queen, and I'm in overall charge for the half a million watts of PA (ie sound system. pa means Public adress) that we're carting around.

45. Lord Frederick Lucan of Mercury. You know him. Freddie.

46. "Phoebe", one of Freddie's personal assistants. These people help to arrange Sir Frederick's day, making sure he gets to appointments on time, and taking care of all those little details, which keep him happy.

47. A rigger

48. Lyndsey Beckingham, caterer. One of a team of five who feed the crew and the group. The caterers have their own van to transport all the food, cookers and fridges necessary to feed up to 60 people three times a day.

49 Bill Louthe, sound monitor. One of the assistants to the chief sound engineer, who sets up the massive sound system making sure it works perfectly, and run around while Queen are on stage, putting things right ( like tangled wiring) and making sure that there are no problems which could cause any deterioration of the sound quality.

50. Dave Mills, head of backstage and front of stage security. "My job is to stop any skirmishes or fights by pulling people out, people who faint, and putting in the hands of the first aid people. Earlier on this tour, in Dublin, I pulled out a young man whose ear was barely hanging on by a thread, probably because some idiot threw a glass."

51 Gerry Stickells, tout manager. The most important poeple on the tour. He looks after the road crew, from the lighting team to caterers; hiring them, making sure that they're paid and that everyone's alright. (he even remembers every crew member's birthday, making a fuss of them so they get too miserable). The other important thing he does is to go out months before the tour to look at the planned concert sites and to make all the thousands of arrangements that need to be made in advance. He's been working with acts like Rod Steward and Elton John and has organised Queen's road tour for 11 years. "They have to be highly-strung crazy people, they have to in order to ware themselves up to perform. So I admire them, yes. But I wouldn't want to socialise with them. Soon as this tour is over I'll go home and watch television."

52 Mike Weisman, production and stage manager. "I'm in charge of seeing that the stage and scenery is all but together properly. We work all day to get everything right. I have to coordinate all the work of the riggers and carpenters."

#brian may #freddie mercury #queen #queen band #bohemian rhapsody #roger taylor #rogerina #freddie #john deacon #disco deacy #john deacy #deaky #disco deaky

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conniejoworld · 4 years

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DAVE LIEBER Our test of the post office delivers sad results O K, we know the mail is late. Often very late. Now The Watchdog can prove it. I ran a mail test last week by sending letters across Dallas-Fort Worth. The results are an embarrassment. The post office is looking at what could be its worst service breakdown in its 228-year history. You know most of the reasons: Overtime was halted. Blue collection boxes were taken off the streets. Sorting machines were disconnected and decommissioned like old Navy ships taken to a scrap yard. But The Watchdog has discovered another reason for mail not getting delivered on time. You probably didn’t hear about this reason. Starting in late July, before the delivery crisis began, the U.S. Postal Service launched a surprise test for mail carriers. The test came with a name that’s just mumbo-jumbo enough to confuse you. It’s called the Expedited Street/Afternoon Sortation test. A better name would be “the Carriers Only Get 15 to 30 Minutes to Get Out the Door Test.” Its purpose, according to top officials announcing it, is “to assist in reducing the morning office time for city letter carriers by enabling them to get on the street earlier.” The goal was “to enhance customer service by providing more consistent delivery times.” But here’s what happened. The test was unprecedented because it disrupted the normal flow of mail delivery. Almost 400 branches across the nation were ordered to participate, but I’m told that many other branches ended up testing some aspect of it. Inside the post office, it was nicknamed “Grab what’s there and go.” Carriers had 30 minutes (in some cases only 15) to finish prepping their mail for delivery, checking their vehicle, grabbing their scanner and keys and departing. Whatever mail was not sorted before that new grab-and-go deadline was left behind. There was always tomorrow to deliver the rest. Maybe. Within days, mail got backed up almost everywhere. With the elimination of overtime, no one was getting paid to finish the daily delivery. Undelivered mail was stored inside or left on loading docks. USPS’ own delivery standards were ignored. Among the late arrivals: medicines, income checks, bills. (Cue the dying baby chicks.) “The mail being processed was drastically delayed,” said Kimetra Lewis, president of the Dallas chapter of the National Association of Letter Carriers. The stress among her carriers was palpable. “The carriers were calling me on a regular basis” to complain, she said. “Nearly every office was implementing their own version of the test,” she said. “This test was totally different from ones in the past,” says Yared Wonde, president of the Dallas branch of the American Postal Workers Union. “This one is, if the mail is not cleared by 9 a.m., leave it on the floor for the next day.” You may have noticed my sources for this information are two local union presidents. That’s because for the first time in 15 years covering USPS, their media representatives are not allowed to talk to me. “We are not currently providing any interviews,” usually helpful spokesman Albert Ruiz told me. He didn’t give a reason, but I found it in a USPS directive that could have been titled “Our Bunker Mentality.” ‘Consistent message’ Vice.com first reported contents of the order: “The Postal Service continuously strives to project a positive image, protect its brand, and present a unified message to the customers and communities it serves,” the memo begins. “It is imperative that one person speaks on behalf of the Postal Service to deliver an appropriate, accurate and consistent message to the media.” And that one person is new Postmaster General Louis DeJoy, whose fast retreat from enacting his supposed reforms included everything but waving a white flag. After a people’s revolt led to bipartisan criticism from lawmakers, DeJoy issued a statement that he was pulling back. In one of the biggest retreats since Gen. Robert E. Lee fled the Battle of Gettysburg, DeJoy, who has donated more than $1 million to President Donald Trump’s campaign funds, promised to halt drastic actions that he and his minions had pushed in his first weeks on the job. In a forced change of heart, DeJoy vowed to maintain post office hours, leave mail sorting machines and blue collection boxes alone, keep facilities open and restore overtime. DeJoy vowed in his published statement: “To avoid even the appearance of any impact on election mail, I am suspending these initiatives until after the election is concluded.” That sounds counter to Trump’s motives. He has said that he initially opposed more funding for troubled USPS and hoped to avoid “universal mail-in voting” in his reelection bid. Yes, the postal service has massive short-term and long-term problems. But is now the right time to break the vast system into dysfunctional pieces? Ellis Burgoyne, who ran the Texas region as Southwest vice president 15 years ago before his promotion to USPS’ chief information officer, is now retired in Irving. He told me, “Holding mail a day to process was always a no-no. ... Total elimination of overtime and intentionally leaving first-class mail behind was never an option. We never had that, and I worked there for 35 years.” Sorting machines Why would you remove and dismantle working sorting machines in the midst of all these other changes unless you wanted to bog down the system, maybe even make it harder for mail-in election ballots to reach their destination before deadlines? Aside from the people in the processing plants, mechanical sorters are the heart of mail delivery. Wonde of the postal workers union estimates that between Dallas’ Main Post Office near Interstate 30 and the North Texas Processing and Distribution Center in Coppell, a dozen sorting machines have been removed in recent weeks. “They didn’t give any specific reason for that,” he said. “I officially requested how many machines were removed and how many were decommissioned.” He hasn’t heard back. Wonde said workers tried to put one of the machines back in operation at the Dallas plant, but they were missing important parts. My test I mentioned my test. Until a few years ago, a first-class letter mailed within North Texas, from and to a local address and dropped off before 5 p.m., usually arrived the next day. Now USPS service standards allow for a letter mailed locally to arrive in two days instead of one. How’s that working? I took addresses for 50 Dallas Morning News employees who live in Dallas-Fort Worth. On Monday night, I mailed 50 envelopes to them from my city post office. I also emailed my lucky 50 to let them know they’d been drafted into my experiment. Under USPS standards, all letters should have arrived in two days — by Thursday’s mail. But more than half didn’t. Only 21 arrived on time — or 42%. That’s a failing grade. Five more arrived one day late on Friday. As of Saturday morning, as I complete this, I’ve yet to hear back about 24 others, or 48%. Admittedly, this is no scientific survey. But with half of the sent letters failing to meet the goal, it’s an indicator. (The Watchdog wants to check again during early voting.) Burgoyne, the retired former USPS vice president for Texas, added that when he was in management, “Election and political mail, including ballots, had the highest priority.” (We’ll see if that tradition holds.) Lewis of the letter carriers’ union says she worries about the cost of this mess to USPS’ reputation: “We don’t know if our customers lost confidence in us. It’s frightening.” If you desire a mail-in absentee ballot, contact your county elections office for information. You can also request one online. Requests for mail ballots must be made before Oct. 23. Make sure you fill out your ballot and send it back as soon as possible. To qualify, you must be 65 or older, disabled or out of your home county on Election Day. The last day to register to vote is Oct. 5. Twitter: @DaveLieber

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eldritchsurveys · 4 years

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957.

5k Survey LIV

2751. What's the most interesting assignment you ever had in school? >> I’m not sure. I hope people realise that my last moment in any kind of school was in December of 2005 (and my last moment in high school was June of 2004). I can barely be arsed to remember anything from 15 years ago unless it’s trauma-related. 2752. What's the most interesting thing you ever had to do for work? >> I thought working as a merch seller for local bands was very interesting. I had a lot of fun. 2753. Do you feel: insignifigant? unable to evoke change? like one person can't change the world? like one life and one person's suffering doesn't mean very much? If you answered yes to any of those can you describe why in detail? >> I, personally, feel insignificant fairly often, but that doesn’t extend to thinking that other people are also equally insignificant. 2754. Do you feel like you could contribute as much to society as ____ has? Albert Einstein: Abe Lincoln: Franz Kafka: Jesus Christ: >> Just because I already have self-esteem problems doesn’t mean I’m going to sit here and consciously make “do you have as much worth as these people” comparisons. 2755. Are you aware that your brain is the same size as Albert Einstein's brain? Do you realize that you have the same number of hours in a day as Abraham Lincoln? Did you know that Franz Kafka wrote all of his amazing litterature during his lunchbreaks at work? Did you know that we are all made of matter and that you are made of the Same Thing that Jesus was made of? Do you still believe that you couldn't contribute as much to society as they did? If yes than WHY? >> This is an immensely irritating line of questioning, I hope it’s over now.

2756. Is your mind in the gutter? >> My mind is not in the gutter. 2757. What do you have to complain about? >> Whatever I want to complain about. 2758. Do you remember rock n' roll radio? >> ... Yes? Pretty sure it still exists, regardless. 2759. Is there such a thing as a food that you burn more calories from digesting than you actually absorb from it? >> I don’t know, try google. 2760. Hey, if you've gotten this far than you and me go way back. We've been hanging out for a while now and I gotta know..do you like me? >> --- 2761. What are you doing, Dave? >> --- 2762. As far as love goes do you feel it is better to become complete before looking for someone or find someone who completes you? >> People are already complete, despite however they may feel about themselves. I don’t understand what it means to look for someone who “completes you”, that sounds immensely absurd to me. So I guess I can’t really answer this question except to say “I don’t think people should be thinking about relationships in these terms...” 2763. What attracts you about the opposite sex (or same sex, or both sexes)? >> --- 2764. Do you need people or do you not need anyone? >> Of course I need other people. The fact that I have an attachment disorder is a direct result of my inherent need for other people’s love and support going repeatedly ignored. Even besides that, I need other people to physically survive, because that’s how ecosystems work, and believe it or not, we are still part of nature and beholden to its cycles and systems. 2765. Is selfishness always bad? Is selflessness always good? >> No. 2766. Do you feel like your life is being controlled by a power structure? >> Of course certain elements of my life as a social creature are controlled by power structures. 2767. Can you name three things in society that send the message that being completely yourself and that looking inside yourself and contemplating what's within is a good thing? >> Sigh. 2768. Can you name three things in society that send the message that materialism and the accumulation of stuff is a good thing? >> The entirety of capitalism. 2769. What is more important, a picture or it's frame? What is more important, spirituality or religion? >> These questions truly do get more baffling as time goes on. 2770. How many definitions can you come up with for the wword 'fuck'? >> I don’t have to come up with definitions, google is right there. 2771. Is it less offensive when a black person says Nigger than when a white person says it? Why or why not? >> The context in which a Black person says it is often a far different context from the one in which a white person says it. So, yes. It usually is less offensive by default, unless the Black person being addressed is uncomfortable with the word even when used in a friendly context. 2772. Do you rationalize often? >> Rationalise what? 2773. Do you believe that america is an imperialist nation? >> I mean, yeah. 2774. Would you agree that: hot topic is the new abercrombie? pink is the new black: you are the new you? >> *stares dully* 2775. Do you have more internet or real life friends? >> I only have Internet friends. 2776. What IS the feeding of 5000? >> The what?? 2777. What's an easy way to make money? >> I don’t know. 2778. What's your favorite slang word and what does it mean? >> I don’t think I have a favourite slang word. 2779. Are you uncomfortable? >> Slightly, because of noise issues. 2780. Is anything definate besides death and taxes? >> Taxes aren’t definite for everyone, but death certainly is. I don’t know what else is that predictable. 2781. Would you rather live fast and die young or live slow and die old? >> Living slow sounds nice to me. However it ends. 2782. Can you name 4 people who have committed crimes against humanity? How do you think they live with themselves? >> Probably, but I don’t feel like it. I don’t care how they live with themselves. 2783. If you could imagine, pure fantasy, any God you could concieve, how would you want God to be? >> I can imagine any god I want to imagine. It’s really not that hard, there are already so many to choose from, even if just to use as a template. 2784. do you think the smashing pumpkins have a strong christian theme? >> I don’t know, I’ve never paid a whole lot of attention to their lyrics. Their songs just sound pretty. 2785. Do you think this survey has a strong christian theme? >> I didn’t think that. I hope I won’t have cause to think it in the future. 2786. Fill in the blank for yourself" Give me ____ or give me death! >> --- 2787. Have you ever heard of the USA patriotism act? Apparently they have passed laws making torture legal. Also the FBI can sneak and peek into ANYONE'S home. They don't have to ask or even tell you they were there. This is already the law. So, whaddaya think? >> I mean, yes, I know that. I live here. 2788. The people in power step all over the average citizen, trying to secure all the power and money for themselves and leave us with no rights and under their control. They have the audacity to do this because they know that we will not lift a finger to stop them. Are they right? >> I don’t know if they’re right or not. I’m also not sure what the fuck powerful-ass finger you think we common folk all have. 2789. The Free State Project is a plan in which 20,000 or more liberty-oriented people will move to a single state of the U.S. to secure there a free society. They will accomplish this by first reforming state law, opting out of federal mandates, and finally negotiating directly with the federal government for appropriate political autonomy. They want to be a community of freedom-loving individuals and families, and want to create a shining example of liberty for the rest of the nation and the world. What's your opinion? Could this work? Why or why not? >> Didn’t a bunch of libertarians want to do this at some point? Anyway, I don’t know if this could work or not. I don’t know nearly enough about any of the elements involved to have an informed opinion about the feasibility of this kind of project. It does sound plenty audacious, though (and way too vague). 2790. Have you ever seen the Neverending Story? Remember when Bastian has to prove his worth by looking in that mirror where you see yourself the way you really are with no pretenses, rationalizations or mental lying? Could you stand yourself if you looked into that mirror? >> I do remember that, vaguely. I wanted to rewatch this movie but then I didn’t get to it in time and HBO took it down :( Anyway, I don’t know if I could stand myself if I looked into a mirror like that. I can’t conceptualise what that experience would actually be like. 2791. What is soilent green? >> Oh, you know. (That’s another movie I’d like to rewatch, in fact.) 2792. What are you proud that you have never done? >> *shrug* 2793. What things are hopeless? >> *shrug* 2794. What Are People For? >> Making Soylent Green out of. 2795. What book do you feel could change someone's life? >> Any book could change someone’s life. 2796. Didja ever want to just walk up to the Bush administration and ask them, 'What the fuck?' >> No, I wasn’t really paying much attention to the administration during that time because I had a lot of personal issues taking up my immediate focus. But from what little I remember about it, it’d be a valid question to ask. 2797. How do you take your coffeee? >> Decaffeinated. 2798. Have you ever played: paintball? lazer tag? which is better? >> I’ve never played these. 2799. In what ways are you lucky? >> A lot of ways, I guess. A lot of fucked up shit has happened, but a fair amount of strangely fortuitous stuff has happened, too. Guess something has to even the other shit out. 2800. If Jesse Jackson wants reparations to be given to black people because he thinks that black people don't have equal opportunities in this country than why does he drive a Jaguar? >> “Black people don’t have equal opportunities in this country” is still a fact of life no matter what the fuck kind of car Jesse Jackson drives. Focusing on his personal “success” or whatever like that is just a diversion from the heart of the matter.

#surveys #survey #5000 question survey

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ironwoman18 · 4 years

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The Worst Third Date Ever part 15

Chapter 15: We don't need a gun to kill someone.

"There are certain clues at a crime scene which by their very nature do not lend themselves to being collected or examined. How's one collect love, rage, hatred, fear...? These are things that we're trained to look for." James Reese

After they returned home from New York, Spencer and Max returned to their routine. She has to go to the school and the next week she will have a new presentation at the Smithsonian.

He, on the other hand, has a few small cases. The biggest of them was a man who wanted to find his perfect family and killed women and men.

So now that he is back home he wanted to spend time with her. He was so used to their dynamic of the past two week that he now missed it.

They planned to have dinner that night. He ordered thai food and when she arrived the food came shortly after.

They decided to not talk about work at dinner. So he told her about JJ thinking about leaving to New Orleans for a job there at the bureau, she would be chief there.

He was happy for her because she had been growing so much in all these years but he will miss her and his godsons.

She also told him about a teacher who may retire at the end of the school year. This teacher had been working for 35 years at the school and everybody loves her.

So she planned to give her a present made by the kids.

"That's really sweet of you Max, I'm sure she will love it" he smiled at her and after dinner they laid on the sofa and talked some more. Just be together made them happy.

"Have you ever invited your friends in?" She asked rubbing his arm around her "because you told me about Luke invited you all to his house to host Kristy's baby shower and Rossi who hosted every big party of the unit and even Penelope hosted some reunions but never heard of you doing it"

"It's because I never really invited someone else in here. I was germaphobic when I started to work in the BAU also I was nervous to get attached to those people, even though I ended up being attracted to them but truthfully I'm not sure if all of these apply as a reason"

"I understand and I think you should. As you follow your therapist about having a normal conversation, you should follow mine about invited them in. After all you share more time with them than anyone else"

He laughs softly and kissed her head "ok I will do it" she smiled and turned to face him and kissed him softly.

"Good boy" she laughed and hugged him tightly.

After that they share more time like that then she said she has to leave, it was getting late and she had to wake up earlier.

"I wish you didn't have to leave" he said as he walked her to her car, for protection.

"Me too but we aren't talking about moving in together. And I didnt want to mention it"

"Why?"

"Because it's what screw up everything with Mike" she looked at him "you meant so much to me to screw up"

He looked at her "you won't. You are amazing and when you are ready to take that step I will be right here. Ready for it"

She smiled "and this is why I love you you Doctor Reid"

He laughed and kisses her softly then she opened the door of the car and got in "see you and remember what your new therapist ordered you" she winked and he laughed and nodded.

"Yes ma'am" he smiles as she rolled her eyes and left. He looked until the car was out of his sight and returned home.

The next day he invited all the team to go to his apartment if they didn't have a case. Dave could not but the rest decided to go.

They talked while eating Chinese food then Penelope mentioned her thinking about a new job offer.

At first he was shocked because he was more used to think other members would leave first than her.

Luke was shocked too and he could see, even with their constant fights, that both care about the other.

Then JJ and Prentiss arrived and they did some games and had a good time.

Then they left and Spencer looked at them smiling. He called Max "hey Max"

"Oh hey Spence. What's up?"

"I did what you want me to" he smiled looking down.

"Really? That's awesome babe, you won a kiss" she smirked and he just laughed "I would like to heard all the details. Maybe tomorrow?"

"Sounds great" he smiled at that "see you tomorrow. Good night"

"Good night" they both hung up then he went to his bedroom, changed and went to sleep.

The next day, after his coffee with Max, Spencer decided to look for Rossi. So after he could not find him in his office or other places he would be. So his last option was the first office of the BAU.

There he was with all his evidence about Lynch on the wall "I don't know why it didn't occur to me yesterday that you'd come down here to recharge" Spencer checked the wall full of photos and details of Lynch "it's been a year since we first encountered Lynch"

"Yeah, I'll probably forget my wedding anniversary but I'll never forget that day" David's eyes focused on the room as his fingers played with his cup of coffee "and this is where the BAU began. It's the one place I can still hear Gideon's voice, prodding me to, um, 'think outside the box'" the last thing was an imitation of Gideon's voice.

That made Spencer laughs softly "something like, uh, 'I am the unsub'" said Spencer trying to make and imitation of the former member of the BAU.

"'Who's your daddy?'" That made the young doctor laughed "that's what we've been missing"

"Roberta gave us the name..."

"Roberta lied. She just wants to appear to be helpful to everyone. She's got her own agenda"

"What are you thinking... Get paroled, find her son and get revenge for the death of her granddaughter Grace?"

"The trifecta"

"Killing your own child is far more common than most people think and in filicide cases, mothers are just as likely as fathers to be killers"

"Which is why Roberta doesn't want us to get in the way of her taking care of family business "

"Still, filicide not only requires that she harbor deep resentment, but also that she disassociates from her relationship to her only child"

"Which she did when I showed her the photo of Grace's dead body"

"Were you gonna share all this with the rest of the team?"

"It's just theories"

"Dave, I completely understand your personal stake in this, but you and Gideon started something pretty good down here, and I think it's time that you let that legacy do what it's always done best... work together as a team" that made David to understand he was so focused on catching Lynch that he forgot the team. A team that he watched catching criminals over that past twelve years.

He nodded and both men went up to the office of the BAU to share this theory with them.

Penelope found out that Lynch was looking for a private detective to find his real father, the team speculated that maybe he was not a sociopath if killing his daughter triggered some memories of his father.

They decided to sent Spencer to observe JJ and Tara interrogate Roberta. Spencer could not see her really killing her son, she talked with hatred but he could not find a sign of filicide.

When they arrived back to the office the next day, Emily announced they will wheel up in 30 to Reno, Nevada, all the team but her and Tara. She will stay in DC and check the team.

"Fret not my intrepid crime fighters. You're no longer flying blind into the silver state. I have matched our mysterious searcher's I.P. address to business in Reno that touts itself as a 'private security firm' and it's christened Castle Security"

"Says here the company is owned and operated by Orlando Gaines" added Matt.

"What a piece of work. He's a former Concord Bay narcotics cop who spent five years in prison for selling police-confiscated drugs" commented Luke.

"It looks like either months ago, his company received a wire transfer for $25.000 from an offshore account connected to our old friend, Arthur Terrell" said Tara from the office.

"Terrell was still alive back then" said JJ.

"He was, but that account has since transferred into the hands of an Edward Myles, and Mr. Myles is turning out to be very elusive"

"Yeah, 'cause although that could be a very likely alias for Mr. Lynch, that name isn't popping up anywhere in Reno" added Penelope to Prentiss' information.

"JJ, Luke, Matt, check in with Reni PD, also our FBI field office" she ordered to those three, then added "Dave and Spence, see if you can get a sit-down with Orlando Gaines" Prentiss hung up after that last order then the team arrived to the city and they went separate ways to do what she ordered.

And in the meantime Roberta killed the father of Everett in the most salvaged way possible. After that David received a call from Lynch wanting to see him.

They had a discussion about what to do but at the end Emily left him go to meet Lynch, with JJ as a sniper for cover.

He and Lynch talked and David tried to convince him to surrender but the Chameleon showed his cards. Olivia has diabetes and they kill him they will not find her in time for her next shot so JJ took her finger away of the trigger.

After more research Penelope found the address were Lynch were living and sent it to JJ and Spencer.

Spencer could not see Roberta killing her child but the others doubted it. He knew she would not do it based on his quick profile at the interrogation they did to Lynch's mom.

They drove to the address and shortly after a SWAT team arrived there.

"Van to Montero. We need to surround and secure the perimeter" ordered JJ.

"Yes ma'am" said the captain of the SWAT team as they moved to the house door.

Spencer took his phone to contact Lynch and therefore Roberta.

After the phone rang five times or so Roberta answered it "is this Agent Rossi?"

"No, Roberta, my name is Doctor Spencer Reid, and it's important that you listen to me right now. Even though you have the gun, the moment your son realizes you're not gonna shoot him, he's gonna get the upper hand" JJ could not believe he still thinks she will not shot him.

"You're wrong... 'Cause my son is going to pay for what he did to Grace" said Roberta with tears in her eyes.

"Yes, but first you need to let Olivia walk out of there, ok?"

"Yeah" Roberta leaned to the young girl behind her "Olivia. Go, hurry, go"

"Now wait a second..." said Lynch trying to stop Olivia from escaping. Roberta did a warning shoot to the ground to stop him.

"Roberta?" Said Spencer at the other side of the line.

"Don't you worry. She's on her way out to you" after that a SWAT officer ran toward them with Olivia and JJ held her.

"Roberta, that warning shot is what's about to give you away, but we can help. Are you ready for us to come in? We can save you both"

"Ha!"

"You realize how this has to end right? Right?" She was having doubts. She wanted him to pay but her mother insists tell her she cannot kill her baby boy, even though he killed her beloved granddaughter.

"Roberta?" Spencer said.

"Yes... I'm ready"

"Captain Montero, breach" Spencer got out his gun and followed the captain of the SWAT team to walked in the house.

JJ was checking out Olivia with the paramedics when Rossi called her "Rossi?"

"JJ, Roberta isn't there to kill Lynch. She's there to die with him"

She just turned and saw Spencer walking there and she tried to run to him "Spence! Stop!" Suddenly the house exploded pushing the doctor to the ground. His head hit the ground and she cannot hear for several seconds. JJ tried to help him but he was confused "Spence, are you ok?" He looked the casualties of the team he was leading in and tried to stand up "No, no, no, no. Stay down, stay down" said JJ holding him for standing.

He felt sad because those men died because of his order. What happened? he could not understand.

The flight back was quiet and Spencer, stubbornly, denied to go to the ER to be checked. His brain was working on the plane.

He was reviewing everything from the beginning. He could not believe that Roberta was suicidal or wanted to die with her son. He held to his theory of her not being able to kill him so, why did she explode the house? Why did she let them walk in if she had that plan? She was not a mass killer.

The flight was in silence until they arrived and JJ walked to him "Spence... I think I should drive you home, just in case" he looked at her. He was tired "please?"

He sighed "ok JJ. I don't want an argument"

They both get out of the plane and headed to her car. As she drove she looked at him from the corner of her eyes "please don't blame yourself for making the call Spence. You did what you thought was correct"

He looked down "how couldn't I...? JJ six men lost their life... 6 families lost a father, a husband, a son, a nephew... because of me" he rubbed his forehead softly.

"Spencer..." she did not what to say "you once told me to stop blaming for Nadia and her daughter's murder. About that bomb that killed a bunch of marines... casualties are inevitable in this job and the people who joins in the bureau, the CIA, NSA, and more known very well they could die at any second. And so do their families"

He sighed more and looked down "I can't argue at the moment so I will just let it go for now"

She looked at him and took a deep breath "you don't look in good shape Spence. Please let me take you the hospital or at least call Max to come over" she handed her phone to him.

"I'm good JJ. Don't worry but if this makes you relaxed then I will go to the hospital if I'm still feeling bad" he said as she stopped by his apartment.

"Call Max or me if you need help. Please" he nodded and walked out. She looked at him and sighed. Then she decided to do it herself, knowing he will not do it.

Hey Max, is JJ. Spence had an accident in a mission. He hit his head pretty hard so please keep an eye on him. Bye.

Minutes later she got and answer from his best friend's girlfriend.

Ok JJ, thank you for the information. I'm at my dad's house but when I finished here I will go there. Good night.

Then she left to her house but the girls called to have a ladies night so she drove to Penelope's house.

Meanwhile Spencer was walking in his apartment still thinking about what happened. His mind traveled to a memory of him with Jason.

"Ok children. I'm the unsub. Why do you think I did this?" Asked Gideon to the class.

An Asian girl said "because you are suicidal?"

"No, I want to see my victims suffer. Why would I die before I complete my mission?"

"Someone else caused the explosion" said a much younger Reid.

"Correct! If you profiled that your killer isn't suicidal then something else happened and you need to check the crime scene" all the students nodded and take notes "Remember kids... your profile is everything, if you have it... you won't need a gun to kill your opponent. Just your knowledge of him"

-It doesn't make any sense to me. I don't understand how that kind of personality can choose to blow itself up-

"If Roberta gave in to him... and if he took the gun away... if he could get to a tunnel..." he was just thinking making hypothesis of what happened not really realizing his nose was bleeding "Lynch... he's still alive" and with that he passed out on his carpet.

OOooOOooOO

Ok so after this the episode 10 will be reworked a little bit.

I'm not sure if I should keep using the scenes of him into "The Light" or just show some parts of it. Like some parts of Maeve conversation, changing some verbs and adding Max to the things he love.

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wheresanne · 5 years

Text

Common Teaching in Korea Questions

Exactly a year ago, an old friend told me about the opportunity to go live overseas, travel often, and make money at the same time. 🌍 I asked, “How long will you be gone? What do you do if you don’t like it there? What will you do with your car?”

After a hundred more questions, tons of research, financial planning, organizing the right qualifications, and knowing myself enough to know if I was truly ready for this experience, here I am.

Here are some of the most common teaching English in South Korea questions that I had and most people may have.

If you have any questions about EPIK program or life in Korea, feel free to comment or message me.

1. What would be your list of pros and cons?

Cons would be the language barrier and culture work environment is different compared to the US. Preparing to return back home sounds difficult so make sure you continue working on your future career so you don't have a gap on your resume.

2. Tips for the application process?

For the application process, use the Internet and search for possible lesson plans and read others’ experiences of teaching and living abroad. I wasn’t originally a teacher, but I often reflect and remember some of my influential teachers, then apply that to my style of teaching.

3. Tips for the interview process?

For the interview process, since it will most likely be a video chat interview through Skype, remember that the video chat might be a few seconds of the audio delay, so try not to cut off the interviewer’s talking. You should dress nicely and smile a lot since you’ll be seen as a role model and working with children. Keep your answers to one or two full sentences. Talk confidently. Again, do some research online for example questions and answers.

4. Do I have to take the TEFL if I’m going to major in early childhood education with a concentration in English as a second language? (Very important question)

To teach in Korea, you have to be a native English speaker. To teach early childhood education in Korea, you must have a TEFL certificate and you are supposed to have a real education degree.

5. How can you send money back home for cheap? Is the transfer costs very expensive?

Depending on your home country, for example, if your home country is the US, you could send money back home through an American Citi Bank account for a small transaction fee. Your home country bank might charge extra fees. My personal American bank, USAA, charged me $70 when it received $1,000 home.

6. What are each of your teaching schedules like? (I know they differ) Do you have free time?

I teach 22 hours or classes per week, I talk more about this in my "What is my job in Korea?" YouTube video. I have to be at work 8:30-4:30 M-F. Besides those 22 hours, I'm sitting at my desk preparing for future classes or whatever I want to do.

Since I teach about 550 students in my middle school, I only visit the 1st and 2nd graders every-other-week and then I teach the 3rd graders every week.

7. Where was/are you placed? Do you like it there?

Through EPIK Program, I was placed in an Innocity in Naju in Jeollanam province in the south. I love it. Great food and good location.

8. What are your classes like? Elementary, Middle, High? Big? Small?

I teach middle school in a new city. I have about 550 students in total and about 15 to 25 students in each class.

I also teach an after-school club class, where we video chat Australian students about Korean culture, landmarks, etc.

9. What is your EPIK apartment like? Is it as small as I’ve seen online? (Not that is matters much about size!) And is your bills pretty cheap?

Before coming to Korea, I was expecting to be placed in an older apartment, possibly with mold or cockroaches.

Through EPIK, I was thankfully placed in the new Innocity in Naju county in Jeollanam province. I love it here because there are tons of fitness centers, tons of cafes, restaurants, a library, Lake Park, and it's a new city with lots of transportation and modern buildings.

My EPIK apartment is a studio office-tel style, so it's in a massive building where I pay $50 a month for the building utilities and then about $20 for my utilities.

10. How long have you been living in Korea?

I've been living in Korea since June 2018 and I was in the August 2018 EPIK intake.

11. If you can speak Korean, will more employers want to hire you?

answer

12. Do any of you have a permanent residency visa? If so, what’s it like? Is it less stressful?

I don’t. I’m on the yearly F2 visa.

After watching Megan Bowen and World of Dave on YouTube, who have been in South Korea for nearly 10 years now, it seems that sometimes people or Koreans still think they're a foreigner.

13. How many vacation days do you get? Are they flexible or not very flexible?

Vacation days are only allowed around the winter and summer camp schedules, Your contract will say you have 25 paid-leave days total (contracts are slightly different depending on the province you're in) in the contract year.

14. What advice would you give to anyone moving to Korea for the first time?

For anyone moving to Korea for the first time, do lots of research online, come with an open mind, don't forget you're representing your country, and remember why you're coming here. You're not coming here to party, coming here to teach and grow.

15. What are your co-teachers like? Are they helpful?

I have 7 co-teachers since I teach at a bigger sized school. They are so kind and helpful. I’m a fairly independent person and haven’t had many issues, so I don’t often “bug” them, but I know they would help me if needed. At work, they don't ask to see my lesson plans or games. After classes, we often talk for a moment as a way to quickly review how the lesson or class reacted to the lesson. We work together when a speaking test is coming up.

16. Do you make enough to live comfortably? And to save?

I live very comfortably. I barely go shopping for clothing or home decorations, since I’m a very minimal person. I just have the essentials. Also, I don't have to stress about repairing my apartment or my car maintenance.

17. Do you make your own lesson plans or do you have to teach by a book?

My middle school has a textbook where I teach the Listen and Speak sections with my own extra "real life" examples and then we play a review game.

18. Do you teach at more than 1 school? If so how many? And is it really stressful?

I only teach at one school.

19. Can you remember all your students' names? What are some fun ways to memorize all their names?

Since I have many students, my first semester was about memorizing their faces, behaviors, and levels of English in class. By the second semester, I asked for a student-list and tried to take attendance before each class. Since I see most of the students every-other-week, it has taken me almost two semesters to learn their names.

If I ever see them outside of the school in my neighborhood, I ask them “How are you, what’s your name again?” as a good way to practice their English too.

Some students have English names, perhaps from their English hagwon academies. If they don’t have an English name, at the beginning of the semester, I offer them a list of popular English names from their 2006-8 birth years.

I remember their names by remembering somethings similar in English. 유빈 Yoo-bin sounds like "You Bin"

20. Is your commute to work long?

I bought a bicycle from an online Facebook flea market group and then I every day I ride my bike for about 10-15 minutes. I could walk for 30 minutes, or I could take a bus but that'll cost me about 2,000 won every day.

21. What is the most rewarding part of teaching in Korea?

I really like the comfortable life here.

22. What are some culture do’s and don’ts that are important to know?

Culture do's would be to remember it's not your country. Make friends with almost everyone, but remember your boundaries.

23. How do you deal with homesickness and stress?

For homesickness or stress, I often go for a walk or bike ride in nature, which reminds me of my hometown or eat pizza or a hamburger. And catch up with family and old friends via Facebook.

24. How have you changed since living in Korea?

Living completely alone can be difficult and different for some people. I have so much free time here. I think my sense of fashion style has changed too.

25. Do you have a Korean phone plan? How much is it a month?

I pay $70 a month for my 100GB phone data plan for my iPhone bc I often travel around Korea so data is important to me.

You can get the Korean phone plan after you get your ARC number, almost a month after living here. You can easily get a SIM card from the convenience stores or from the airport.

26. Last but not least, what are some encouraging words you would give to those who want to teach in Korea!?

Only teach if you actually like kids and are a patient person. If you don't get accepted through EPIK, or JLP, or TaLK, don't forget to apply through hagwons!

#Common EPIK Questions #EPIK Teaching #Teaching ESL #Questions #JLP Program #English Program in Korea #Blog Post #Blog

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mobydickmusical · 5 years

Text

Dave Malloy’s descriptions of the Moby Dick musical

- All of the following are interview quotes and similar, relating to what the show will be like

- Clearly, not every detail of this may necessarily follow through or be 100% up to date, but I haven’t included anything when I’ve been given an impression it’s no longer relevant

- To make it a bit more readable, I’ve sorted the quotes into:

What does he want from this adaption? What does he think is important in adapting Moby Dick?

The structure of the show

Themes and focus

Other (song and character specific details)

- In summary, though:

Dave’s main goal in writing his musical is to create an adaption that he feels honours and appreciates the novel in its entirety - formal quirks, whale minutia and all - not one that just tries to extract a plot.

Currently the show has a four-part, two act structure. The first part is the most Broadway-style, and sets the narrative in place. The second part is more cabaret-style, and focuses on the whaling-related scenes. In the second act, part three is a jazz-based song cycle dedicated to Pip. Part four is a “dream ballet” section that wraps up the ending of the novel. The book of the show is still strongly based in Melville’s text, but less text-heavy than Natasha, Pierre and the Great Comet of 1812. Like Comet, it’s mostly sung-through.

Dave is very focused on using Moby Dick to reflect on modern life, especially to discuss issues of race in modern America, and how this context compares to Melville’s own (he also expresses interest in metatheatre regarding the role of Ishmael/Melville as the writer). Whiteness is highlighted as an important motif. He also states that Pip’s story of being stranded at sea has become “the heart” of his musical.

What does he want from this adaption? What does he think is important in adapting Moby Dick?

“My challenge is to adapt the novel on its own terms rather than extracting story. The novel is a very bizarre beast of a thing; it has all of these tangents and digressions, a bunch of different forms, and I wanted to embrace all of that.”

Baryshnikhov Arts Center article by Lydia Mokdessi, April 8 2016

“I’m really drawn to that, people playing with the form, and so I try translate that into musical theatre. How can I play with that form of musical theatre? That’s so much more compelling to me than just telling a story. I like telling a story and there’s an extra meta-layer of how are we telling the story.”

“There’s been so many adaptations of Moby Dick and I think they all kind of fail, because they all just tell the story. The story, there’s not much too it. This guy is crazy about a whale and he goes and hunts it down and everybody dies. What makes Moby Dick an amazing novel is actually not just the story, it’s all the playing with form, and the idea that this writer, this Ishmael (slash Herman Melville) is basically trying to encompass what all of humanity and life is, within the story of a whale.”

Interview at The Dutch Treat, June 6 2018

“Especially giant epic novels I have a real affinity for. I love that amazing sense of reading something that was written two or three hundred years ago and thinking, ‘that’s a thought I had yesterday!’ Seeing how humanity doesn’t change that much. I am looking at these classics through a very contemporary lens with the hope of rescuing them from their bad reputations.”

Baryshnikov Arts Center article by Lydia Mokdessi, April 8 2016

The Structure Of The Show

NOTE: The most recent tracklist (from The Public Theater workshop) can be found under the “extra content” link on this blog

“Originally we had imagined that Moby Dick would be […] seven hour-long theatrical pieces that could be seen in any order [...] now it is just a single evening’s entertainment that’s basically broken into four parts. The first part is kind of the traditional musical theatre narrative, getting the story underway. The second part focuses on all the whaling chapters and just on the minutia of whales. Part three is about Pip, and part four is the culmination of the narrative, and is almost like a dream ballet, in a weird way. It’s a very weird section”

“Pip’s story feels like the core of the piece”

Interview at The Dutch Treat, June 6 2018

“The first act is like a Broadway-style musical, the second act is more of a vaudevillian cabaret, and the third act is a jazz song cycle, and […] the fourth act is a movement-heavy ballet-type section. […] The idea is definitely to use the form of Moby Dick, and to tell the entire story, not just the plot, but also include those chapters on whaling, and tell those parts through different styles of music.”

American Theatre Wing’s “Working In The Theatre: Adaptation”, 2017

“I am such a huge fan of using things in the public domain [...] so there’s a fair amount of Melville’s original words in it. I think it’s definitely less than Comet. Great Comet was probably like seventy to eighty percent Tolstoy, and Moby Dick is probably more like forty to fifty percent Melville. So a lot of it is his text”

[...] “Melville is such a poetic writer. He is thinking about every single word he’s using, and so many of his sentences are so, so beautiful, not because of rhyme, but certainly he is dealing with alliteration and assonance and some of these other poetic devices. So for me, revelling in that is enough. The musical forms take their cues from the writing, from Melville.”

Interview at The Dutch Treat, June 6 2018

“My intention is to have the majority happen as song. I’m really drawn to the sung-through form; the few things that are spoken can resonate all the more. Spoken text is good for language that we want to really pop and for cumbersome exposition. Sometimes we just need people to say the lines so we can get to the song.”

Baryshnikov Arts Center article by Lydia Mokdessi, April 8 2016

Themes And Focus

“Originally we had imagined that Moby Dick would be […] seven hour-long theatrical pieces that could be seen in any order. Then what happened was one of those seven pieces became so much the heart of the show that I didn’t want anyone to see anything without it. And that was specifically a section about the very small character, Pip. He’s literally the smallest character, he’s nine years old. He’s this boy on the Pequod, and he has this experience where he gets stranded in the middle of the ocean. He gets thrown off of a whale boat during a chase, and gets stranded in the middle of the ocean for an hour or so. In that hour of just seeing nothing but the water and the sky, he goes insane. That character, reading the novel, was the most compelling character to me. So one of these seven acts was just “The Ballad Of Pip”, and it was the first piece I wrote. Then in trying to go and visualise what this thing would be with these other six pieces, I was like, well I don’t want to tell any story that doesn’t include Pip’s.”

Interview at The Dutch Treat, June 6 2018

“But then the larger thing we’re trying to do in this telling of Moby Dick is actually just talk about race in America. In this particular casting of Moby Dick, we’re casting everyone as people of color, and women of color, except for Herman Melville and Captain Ahab, who will played by white men. I think Melville was grappling with the same sort of things: what is America, and how does America deal with race? So in Moby Dick, it addresses the same thing. I think in context it’ll be clearer with [Cetology], but a lot of that song really is about race, and about how it feels to be a white person writing words for people of color to say, and what that means. And for Herman Melville to be writing the “The Whiteness Of The Whale” which is one of the huge chapters in Moby Dick that people love analysing to death, cause it’s such an amazing and beautiful chapter. Like, what was Melville thinking? What was Melville’s awareness of the racial problems of America, of this very young country that he was living in? We’re interested in dissecting all of that”

Interview at The Dutch Treat, June 6 2018

Other

“Ishmael is not really a critical part of the story of Moby Dick. He’s just the guy who was around and happened to see all this stuff. And then, weirdly, he becomes this omniscient voice who sees scenes that he’s not there for. It’s a very bizarre thing! Also, that’s one of the things that I love about theatre: the meta-theatrical element that comes with me not just as an actor playing those roles but as a writer playing those roles. I feel very much drawn to those roles that are contingent upon being the writer of the piece”

“As Melville, I’m telling this tale that I feel attached to but also feel reservations for how I’m attached to it”

Interview at The Dutch Treat, June 6 2018

“[Cetology] will be the song that opens part 2 of Moby Dick, which is the whaling section. So this song is an adaption of chapter 32 of Moby Dick which is called Cetology, which is famously the most hated chapter of Moby Dick, for people who don’t like Moby Dick, cause it’s the chapter that’s basically an encyclopedia entry about whales. Or rather, it’s Ishmael’s attempt to write an encyclopedia entry about whales, and he fails, ultimately. Thinking about this meta-theatrical element of play-writing, this song has become a piece about the task of writing a play based on Moby Dick and knowing that I will inevitably fail. So it is a song about failure.”

[...] “I think in context it’ll be clearer with [Cetology], but a lot of that song really is about race, and about how it feels to be a white person writing words for people of color to say, and what that means.”

On Ishmael’s solo, Cetology. Interview at The Dutch Treat, June 6 2018

“[…] There is a lot about whiteness woven throughout the show that will (hopefully!) make more sense in the larger context”

In response to me asking about lyrics from Cetology, on Twitter, December 24 2018

“...Cutting In, that’s like the big cutting apart the whale section, that’s gonna be like 15 minutes song-and-dance, that’ll be big. And then I’ve gotta do Sextet, which is kinda a trick cause it looks like it’s one song but really it’s six simultaneous songs that happens towards the end...”

Great Comet Instagram takeover, August 31 2017 (I take this with a grain of salt because in the same takeover he described The Sermon as 10 minutes long, which it obviously isn’t anymore).

NOTE: a diagram Dave posted on Twitter, presumably pertaining to the song Sextet, can be found on this blog. It is, however, quite old and not especially easy to make sense of.

#moby dick #mobydick #moby dick musical #dave malloy #ishmael #pip #ahab #cetology #cutting in #sextet #interview #twitter #instagram #quote #my post

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webscene-remade · 5 years

Text

gigantic homestuck liveblog post

hello. I hope to god that tumblr’s readmore function works across platforms because otherwise this may just be the worst thing I ever inflicted on anyone’s dashboard in the history of this hellsite

warnings for my pure, unadulterated opinions (including relentless character-hate for characters that I personally do not like), spoilers for literally everything, reading the epilogues in the most asinine order possible, and the same content warnings that were given at the beginning of the epilogues themselves

general thoughts: i liked some of it, didnt like some of it. the parts that i didn't like would have been more bearable if they literally weren’t painful to read. i’m of the opinion that, while things dont have to be daisies and roses all the time, i don’t want to have a completely horrible reading experience when things aren’t daises and roses.

other complaints: part of homestuck’s appeal is its amazing cast of girls, and they were severely under-utilized. also, i had to see gamzee again.

but, like i said. i liked some of it. a lot of it, in fact. i did think it kept with the spirit of homestuck in that it made me feel every single human emotion possible.

I had a lot of Feelings while reading, and if I went into all of them here, I might as well write out some meta to flesh out the 2.5 concrete thoughts I had while reading, but I’m not going to do that. instead, i’m going to dump my several-thousand-words of live reactions here so that no one has the patience to parse out what the hell i’m talking about. because I just spent a total of 21 hours reading this and I am so incredibly braindead.

MEAT 1

Okay I’m clicking on ‘meat’ first. I’m so scared LMAO I’m not ready for this.

Gross. This is already very upsetting.

MEAT 2

Lmao WHAT

FUCK. Dave this is NOT ALLOWED.

Homestuck is very very good actually

Alright I’m going to have to stop screenshotting every single thing I find funny or else I am never going to get through this

I Love You Dave Strider

This is so fucking weird to say and I have no idea what the psychology is behind it but reading homestuck always makes me weirdly ambitious…like reading about dave doing shit like making comics and motivating karkat to run for president makes ME want to do shit.

also the biggest mystery in homestuck is that people like jake English

MEAT 3

The fridge pops open and out roll Aranea and Gamzee. Gamzee honks and his codpiece jiggles ominously. Aranea staggers to her feet, looking rather pleased with herself.

Fucking gross.

JOHN PUNCHED ARANEA

Waaaaay back in the day “aranea gets punched in the face” was on my homestuck bingo card, back when we all thought the comic was gonna end after the gigapause or whatever it was called

Also is this going to be in fic form the whole time because if so I’m going to have a hell of a time concentrating long enough to finish this in one go

You wisely decide that this clown will lend nothing valuable to the narrative whatsoever if he is allowed to remain outside of your childhood refrigerator. You put both hands on his chest and shove him into the fridge where he belongs. He goes easily, issuing only a pair of weak honks in protest. You slam the fridge shut and resolve to never think about Gamzee Makara again.

Bye bitch

I know you’re going to be back soon but still

(also I skimmed the first few pages of the candy epilogue and it looks like gamzee might have some relevance in that one too. Homophobic if true.)

MEAT 4

Oh jesus fuck I just remembered caliborn’s stop-motion Claymation thing where all the kids die. And now john’s gathering them all up. This is going to fucking SUCK isn’t it

MEAT 5

Lmao

Jake can’t help but watch the motion, raking his eyes over the muscles shifting beneath the skin of Dirk’s neck and arms.

Calm your fucking boner dude

Also dirk is ripped apparently

With a casual flick of his wrist, Dirk snaps out a bright red tranquilizer handgun and shoots Jake in the neck. Jake’s glasses crack when he hits the mat.

What the fuck

MEAT 6

You wonder. Do you see these teen versions of your friends as “real”? Are you treating them, at Rose’s behest, as simple puppets? Doing your part to insist they fill friend-shaped recesses in an essential plan to stabilize all else that can be considered important, a distinction no longer applying to them? Do you care at all about whatever fate it may be that you are sentencing these children to? Are you becoming as complicit in the fatalistic evils of Paradox Space as Lord English himself? Are you becoming a monster, John Egbert?

MEAT 7

I Love You Rose Lalonde

Also, same old Dirk, huh?

Dirk & rose conversations are some of the best but. Dirk. Dirk. He reminds me so much of myself and I constantly want to shove him into a locker.

MEAT 8

I hate how much I love caliborn. Also I am Very Afraid.

MEAT 9

The blurry, distorted face of your laughing nemesis was the last thing you saw before the chest door slammed shut and plunged you into textual obsolescence.

And here, you are now stuck. You will not emerge from this holding cell, from an outside perspective, for quadrillions of years. It is not long at all until you begin to wish you had brought something to read.

Jesus Christ

Well. At least it’s quadrillions of years “from an outside perspective.” Hopefully it won’t be THAT long for them. Maybe like, an hour?

Also john you broke your glasses. How are you supposed to read.

MEAT 10

No, surely this must have been Dave’s idea. The kind of plot hatched from their little nest of mutually supportive, codependent, interspecies... whatever it was they had going on over there.

Jane is straight-up EVIL, I guess

This what capitalism does to you, folks

Also, karkat (true leftism)

MEAT 11

This is exactly what I expected when I realized john would be overseeing a group of teens

Would you tell them about Terezi...

For some reason her name feels like nails in your heart. Makes sense, you guess, cause there’s a lot of sharp letters in it. She had sharp teeth too, and sharp elbows. Sharp words. Terezi Pyrope was a sharp girl, and maybe what these sharp feelings are trying to tell you is you miss her more than you realized.

Do NOT talk about terezi in the past tense you fucking GOON

Also if I don’t see terezi again I will fucking riot

Me like 2 years ago

MEAT 12

Asfdhkajlfh

Jade you are NOT subtle

This is oppression

Dave and karkat HAVE KISSED MULTIPLE TIMES. I will not be convinced otherwise

Jade “didn’t think Obama was a real person” Harley

Also Dave “doesn’t think Jesus was a real person” Strider

Speaking of. Where is homestuck-is-a-sin nowadays

Jade will you please chill

but also. Marry me. dave and karkat are clearly not comfy with this, but I would be very comfy with it.

MEAT 13

> Be Vriska.

Oh fuck yes

Well, that didn’t last long. Bye, vriska!

Oh fuck

God this is all so intense. I feel like I should’ve read candy first

MEAT 14

Really, the only surprise is how long it took to happen. Jane is a beautiful lady, that’s for sure. She always has been, but she’s only grown more ravishing as she’s come into the full blossom of her womanhood. Smooth, silky skin... thick, dark lashes... full, feminine lips... not to mention curves like the dickens.

This is so hard to read lmao

Jake can’t stop thinking about dirk….ouch

MEAT 15

Roooooooooose

ROSE ):

Fuck jade too

This is going pretty much as well as could be expected

Just two bros…fighting lord English…everyone dying around them…

DAVEPETA

…v…vore

Great minds

Dave ): ): ):

There was no way that wasn’t going to happen but I am. Extremely upset.

The black hole—the gaping, implacable, cosmic embodiment of the dead cherub, his long-departed sister—finally welcomes Lord English home.

Yo I’m

It’s bananas that this webcomic still manages to have a monopoly over my emotions after all these years

MEAT 16

Oh fuck

Loving the aspect talk though

Rose’s eyes have grown distant, almost mirrorlike. Dirk can see himself reflected in her vacant stare.

Oh jesus oh Christ

Oh no

FUCK OFFFF

MEAT 17

All I’m thinking about is the narration about jake watching dirk’s rippling muscles

Dirk: I heard that Dirk has an 8-pack

MEAT 18

It’s been 3 hours and I’m only on meat 18

I need a fucking drink

MEAT 19

Jade’s got this disarming combo of head-in-the-clouds flightiness and the kind of legit, down-to-earth cred that can only be earned by having done something like cutting open your own grandfather and stuffing him full of polyurethane foam.

Why is homestuck so funny

I LOVE YOU ROXY LALONDE

Fucking same

MEAT 20

What is Happening

Will these motherfuckers Please Stop trying to remove the objects that are impaled in their chest

CALLIOPE????

I am actually astounded by the amount of things I retained from homestuck even though I haven’t quite understood what’s going on for like 6 years

MEAT 21

I missed her so much

I hate this stupid fucking webcomic

Please god kick his ass kanaya

MEAT 22

Fucking owned

MEAT 23

Kanaya PLEASE kick this fools ass

MEAT 24

TEREZI

I’M GOING TO GO APE SHIT

SHE LITERALLY HASN’T SAID ANYTHING YET AND I’M LOSING MY GODDAMN MIND

I’M GOING TO VOMIT

MEAT 25

…hmmmm

I’m actually almost tempted to do this?

Like I know it would make way more sense to finish reading meat first…BUT…

I’m gonna do it lmao

CANDY 1

At each fork in the veins, he supposes the leaf as a whole is making a certain kind of “decision,” to go this way or that. It certainly seems like one way of looking at a leaf, now that he bothers to really scrutinize one. It also seems to him, with just as great a sense of clarity, that not one of this leaf’s decisions ever mattered even the tiniest fucking bit to anybody.

Alright! Great start!

Hm! I don’t like this at all!!!!

Fuck gamzee lives

CANDY 2

Sensing that this is probably something he shouldn’t be seeing, he tiptoes towards Gamzee’s would-be sarcophagus as carefully and quietly as he can, and places his hands just above the thick aluminum hull. The moment John’s palms hit the fridge, Dirk turns to look at him. His head only moves an inch.

………what the fuck

OKAY SO…JOHN’S JUST GONNA…DROP GAMZEE ON EARTH C…THIS IS FINE

Oh what the FUCK is going on

I forgot how fucking headache-inducing gamzee’s quirk is

Literally this is almost impossible for me to read for some reason

She pats him on the back, nods very slowly, issues an “mm-hm” now and then. Only while he is distracted by his own sobs does she steal a glance at her phone, tipping the fact that she too wouldn’t mind if this redemptive soliloquy could hurry itself along.

I pretty much sound like a broken record at this point but. What the actual fuck.

Gamzee stans be like

John: *sends a picture of gamzee to terezi*

Me: Gamzee Is Not Allowed to Exist In The Same Narrative Space As Terezi

“HE”….

I just realized that the narrative isn’t in second person any more

I mean…I’m assuming we’re outside of ‘canon’. Like this isn’t the ‘essential’ timeline anymore, so things are…fucking wacky, to say the least

But even in the other timelines, shit isn’t this wack

And john seems to be aware of what’s going on

So like. What’s happening.

CANDY 3

At least dirk’s bitch ass is also sweating over all this

CANDY 4

Rose opens her eyes. She stares at the knob of her wrist and frowns. She’s not sure why this sensation should be concerning. It’s not like her memory is slipping away. She remembers the conversation she had with John this morning quite clearly. As she does the previous years of declining health, and troubled, obsessive thoughts about canon, dissipation, and other such abstractions. What’s slipping away instead is the feeling that any of it mattered at all.

I have. Very mixed feelings.

Like OBVIOUSLY I don’t want rose to continue to suffer existential dread but this feels like post-retcon all over again. Which is to say, everything feels off.

But. Post-retcon was, like, canon. And post-retcon (post-game over, really) is where I kinda stopped caring about homestuck as much as I had before

And perhaps that’s just me not “getting it” but. Oh well.

Fucking OUCH dawg

Rose and kanaya…damn son…….

They were my first f/f ship ever. Can you believe that? Can you believe homestuck?

CANDY 5

She retrieves one of her bras from where it’s hanging over the back of the couch. She starts changing it right there, doing that mystical sleight of hand girls seem to be born with the knowledge of, where the bra goes off and then on again without the shirt being removed.

Very unrelatable

Now THIS is relatable

Jade CHILL

I’ve always liked the idea of jadedavekat but this shit is not fun

Karkat fucking bit her afdhlfasdkfh what the fuck

Picsthatmakeyougohmm

CANDY 6

Yall are gonna think I’m evil for saying this but how on earth are there people out there who like Jake English

Okay I took a break to eat something after 5 straight hours of reading

I bet there’s people out there who have read this shit 3 times over but I take so GODDAMN LONG to read anything

And to think. I’m an English major.

Anyway back to it I fucking guess

That’s depression, babe!

I’m heterophobic now

Do I REALLY have to read another Jake-Jane makeout sesh. Do I really.

It turns out that I don’t. thank god.

But that was all still incredibly uncomfortable

CANDY 7

In the time that I was eating I managed to forget that gamzee existed. And now I am reminded. How unfortunate.

I do not often find myself agreeing with John and only John but. Here we are.

Also I am Not Down For johnroxy. Especially with how wack everything is.

Roxy DO NOT leave john alone with this literal clown

Oh fucking Christ

HELLO?? IS THIS ALLOWED???

CANDY 8

The,, hornographer,,,

There’s a third member of their social group who definitely hasn’t arrived at the conclusion that his power and influence should be meted out responsibly either. Neither of them speak his name, however. For some reason, it feels like a shadow passing over the sun. A brief spike of pain flickers through Rose’s head, a bolt that strikes between her eyes and splinters out. There is color and light behind it. A vision that tears through the material reality in front of her and gives her a brief glimpse into a parallel reality where things are very different.

Hm! Not great!

Yes, it would be very awkward

Also, don’t even fuckin g MENTION vriska unless I get to see her

Don’t think I haven’t noticed that this epilogue has been hellishly vriskaless

Like youre gonna make me see GAMZEE MAKARA?? GAMZEE??? WHERE’S VRISKA??

CANDY 9

Jade. Jade. Jade. Fucking CHILL, jade.

CANDY 10

Get you a girl who lesbian marries one of the two remaining eligible human females

Eyes emoji

He whips his head around to see... Dave? He’s running down the street, looking back and forth like a hunted man.

Dave: *is flirted with*

Dave: *books it to an entirely different time zone*

I Love You Dave Strider

Why on EARTH are you going to john Egbert for relationship advice, though

CANDY 11

Daaaaaaave ):

CANDY 12

This is the fucking worst

I hate this so much

CANDY 13

It’s obviously a robot, but it’s a complete mess. The form is feminine, but the head is still bald, and the face has no cover, revealing its skull-like interior. The body doesn’t have any proper protective plating yet, so it’s all a mess of wires and loose mechanical bits. Clearly a work in progress. But Dave can’t help but wonder what exactly it is that Dirk’s been working on here?

Then Dave notices the note. It’s carefully folded in the limp palm of the robot’s hand. His heart jumps into his throat, and something in his stomach drops.

Oh, no.

what the fuck is this fucking robot

Also did dirk fucking kill himself

CANDY 14

We’re back in the 2nd person now for dirk’s shit

What could you accomplish in a dead-end existence like this? There are no stakes. No meaningful challenges. No structures or themes—only residual chemical reactions in a dying brain, a physical system’s obligate compulsion to exhaust its own lingering momentum.

Literally me every time I realize that life isn’t a story and I’m not a character with a heroic arc

And like I get that homestuck has been thematically interested in...well…life not being a story. And I have a feeling that these epilogues are going to cement that, with all the talk of meta/canon. And I can already tell that I’m going to be disappointed with the lack of narrative resolution

Because like…life’s not a story, okay……………but homestuck is

Anyway this fucker is really about to kill himself isn’t he

Yep…jesus.

CANDY 15

Wow this feels INCREDIBLY shitty considering. That’s exactly what happened.

I am not Feeling Great my dudes

Dave’s got his suit jacket unbuttoned and pulled over Karkat’s head to shield him from the rain. Karkat’s the one talking—his caterpillar eyebrows furrowed, but his gaze soft. Whatever he’s saying makes Dave turn his face away, but Karkat winds a hand in his shirt and tugs him in, forces him to make eye contact. They both go still, seeming to finally realize how close their faces have gotten, how Karkat’s fingers are brushing down the length of Dave’s torso. Dave dips down so that their noses are bumping.

I will NOT be distracted by this cute shit

(I am distracted by this cute shit)

Thinking about how roxy said they don’t want to have kids in meat and I’m! Not feeling great about this!

Also I hate that I have to call it ‘meat’

(also the narrator refers to roxy as ‘she’ in candy and so like. Idk which one I’m supposed to use)

CANDY 16

6 month time jump. Very relieved that I don’t have to see the johnroxy wedding

Fucking. Skullface emoji.

Asdasfasljk John don’t dump on your sister like that

Straight fucking savage though I’ll give you that

John and terezi are talking about vriska I’m going to fucking vomit

This is all I’m going to get, huh? Huh????

I’m so starved

Vrisrezi is literally the most compelling part of homestuck and it’s like. So not going to be relevant at all in the epilogue, is it

CANDY 17

Did rose and kanaya literally name their kid ‘vriska’

Like they did not have to do that

John is the only one who hasn’t lost his goddamn mind

Also the idea of someone just changing their kids name a year after they were born is. Hilarious. It’s extra hilarious when you remember that the kids didn’t get a name until they were 13.

John SNAPPED

“please come make sense at me”...This is……..A Lot

CANDY 18

Jane is still dedicated to eugenics which is like. Pretty fucking awful.

You know it’s bad when GAMZEE MAKARA argues with you about morality

Fucking GROSS

Also jake is sitting right next to them akbfdabkjknsfn

Welp! Homestuck’s over, everyone!!!! The furries won!

CANDY 19

I have been reading this goddamn webcomic for 8 goddamn hours

I’m pretty sure that I’m not even halfway through

HIS RELATIONSHIP IS A FLAMING WRECK OF AN INTERSTELLAR WARSHIP HURTLING TOWARDS THE PLANET AT TERMINAL VELOCITY WITH THE ENTIRE CREW BRUTALLY SLAUGHTERED UPON REENTRY, SHOVED STRAIGHT DOWN THE CHAGRIN TUNNEL AND THEN IMMEDIATELY SHAT OUT THE OTHER SIDE, THUS FLOODING THE ENTIRE FUCKING NEIGHBORHOOD WHEN IT CLOGS UP THE LOAD GAPER.

This is what this epilogue has been missing…karkat-isms

Yo WHAT

I probably definitely should’ve read meat all the way through but. Oh well!

I never thought that I would be glad to see a dead teenage jade fall out of the fucking sky but at least its providing a brief reprieve to feeling of absolute dread I’ve had while reading the entire candy section

Also strange that dead teenage space jade is the one thing that DOESN’T fill me with absolute dread

CANDY 20

Karkat SNAPPED

CANDY 21

I somehow managed to forget that calliope exists

Funeral TWO

As fucking rough as dirk’s suicide was, I absolutely cannot imagine him in any of these situations

Like the only narrative choices were to kill him or to lock him away in his lab w/o a single mention of him and I gotta say the former makes more sense given his characterization

I am. Upset.

ARADIA

Aradia please save me from this nightmare

Asdfghjlkjhgf

I changed my mind I love candy

Never mind jane’s talking about eugenics again

I’m laughing???? What the fuck is happening?????

Okay alt calliope is using dead teen space jade’s body as a vessel

Should’ve put two and two together since I got close to that part in meat but I have been reading for like 9 hours and things are starting to blur together

*heavy metal music plays*

CANDY 22

3 year time jump! Alright!

Fucking same, john

Okay so the dead trolls that got consumed by the black hole are showing up on earth c, or something?

WAIT DOES THAT MEAN LORD ENGLISH IS GONNA GET PLOPPED INTO THIS TIMELINE

idk if I’m misunderstanding but……..i am……nervous

Those are my 20-something-year-old children

Cant believe karkat rose and kanaya are in antifa :’)

Actually I can absolutely believe that

I hate this

I was 100% unprepared to see Eridan fucking Ampora in the year of our lord 2019. I’m calling the fucking police

This is the worst

Oh I Do Not Like This

CANDY 23

John was serious about the whole kidnapping thing huh

Christ almighty

SILENCE, CLOWN.

Jokes aside the child abuse is like. Very vey upsetting.

But why has this human child adopted the ‘uh,,’s of Tavros’ quirk

I think I’ve said this before but homestuck is very good, actually

Hm this shit with kid tavros is making me sick to my stomach

Also I’m approaching hour 10 and I may have to take a break for sleep soon.

But. I defo have shit to do this weekend that doesn’t involve reading homestuck

We’ll see how much longer I can stay awake, I guess

Dave said this about dirk (jake also said this about dirk, in meat) and I’m. not psyched about it.

I suppose it’s possible that gamzee retained it from dirks funeral, but still

John has his breath powers back?? Passively, at least?

And where the fuck did alt calliope go

And aradia and sollux

Unfortunately I still think it is kidnapping

Especially because you’re like, 5

It’s probably, like, a bad thing that I was rooting for john’s kidnapping plan to work. But.

CANDY 24

Okay theres alt calliope aradia and sollux

I am. Compromised.

Oh fuck

It’s actually kind of insane that dirk and jane are like. Straight villains. I kinda would’ve guessed w/ jane (relation to the condesce and all that) but dirk being a villain shocked the fuck out of me. it really shouldn’t have, though, considering that dirk was capable of becoming bro.

): ): ): ):

I’m actually tearing up LMAO

I can’t tell if it’s because of how much I love terezi or if it’s because I’ve been reading this for 10 hours straight

Probably both

CANDY 25

Karkat I love you

Also this is buried deep enough in this post so I think it’s safe to say w/o anyone actually reading it: when I was 14 and reading homestuck for the first time I had a crush on karkat and used to daydream about us going on a date at the county fair

I’m sorry to anyone that had to read that with their own eyeballs

Hard labor in the cake mills

Bucket jokes are dead, folks. You heard it here first.

Oh Christ I just remembered that group of cosplayers who took a bucket into a restaurant and passed it around and spit in it. Scandal of the fucking decade.

Asdfghjk KANAYA

This is only going to make things more complicated, I imagine

KARKAT: I’M ALSO FUCKING ORDERING YOU TO STOP MAKING GARBAGE FISH PUNS FOREVER.

LMAO

Okay…on that slightly…lighter note, I think it’s time to turn in for the night. I’m at the 11th hour (literally) and I’m losing my ability to pay attention to what the fuck is going on

Plus my head hurts like a motherfucker

If I remember correctly, each epilogue has 45 parts, so I’m a bit more than halfway done

I’m setting an alarm because I’m dedicated to finishing this tomorrow

CANDY 26

Okay I got my hat on backwards and I’m ready to fucking party

Even Alternia had beauty in it. But John is sure that Earth C probably replicates it the same way it replicates everything else: thin and garish and fake, fake, fakity FAKE. A bad photocopy with the ink settings turned to high contrast. A sunrise that casts no shadows.

This is not a party

Also I’m getting flashbacks to my thesis that I wrote on the left hand of darkness which never shut the fuck up about shadows and the lack thereof

A streak of teal, smudged along the top ridge of the seat cushion, at the center of a red, bloody handprint. With wide eyes, John reaches out and runs his thumb over it. It chips under his nail, the same consistency as human blood. The same color as Terezi’s text.

He rubs the flaky crust between his fingers. He only stopped talking to her a few hours ago. Time passes differently out there, as he’s often reminded. She was so sure she was dying. Was this it? Was this how she —

John reels back, nausea striking him in the pit of his stomach. What kind of twisted coincidence is this? Why is he finding this now? If Terezi was here, why? Who was she bleeding with in the back of his father’s car?

I’m guessing john was bleeding with terezi in the back of his father’s car?

I mean when I left off with meat terezi had just shown up to find john impaled in the chest with one of LE’s teeth

But I’m like. SUPER not psyched to learn what happened to terezi

A choked sob forces its way out of his chest. His fingers flex into claws, gathering up dirt into his shaking fists. He bears down until his knuckles turn white and his fingernails press sharply into the flesh of his palms. The pain makes him feel real.

All he’s ever wanted is to be fucking real.

Maybe it’s because this is the first thing I’m reading this morning but I absolutely cannot take this seriously

CANDY 27

Ten year time skip. Jesus.

So everyones in their late 30s, now

I’m love them?

Also things are super not great on earth c, huh

Like imagine being jane crocker & playing a game where all your friends die a bunch & then showing up to an idyllic planet and being like ‘you know what this world needs more of? Fascism and eugenics.’

Also didn’t jane’s dad make it onto earth c??? where is THAT motherfucker??

I’m glad that sollux and aradia are still like. Chillin.

Karkat sure does know how to sweet-talk people

Also karkat still misses dave ):

And dave still misses karkat ):

This is so fucking rough

CANDY 28

VRISKA???

Yeah this is the vriska that got punted by LE after releasing the juju

She is taking things as well as I would imagine vriska to take things

CANDY 29

These chapters are getting shorter. Maybe I’ll actually finish this today

…lord English?

CANDY 30

Okay, so jane’s dad was on earth c, and now he’s dead

Jesus Christ

I shouldn’t be laughing but adjsgklfgfs

Leave it to karkat to try to assassinate someone with a fucking rocket launcher

Also leave it to dad to jump in front of a FUCKING ROCKET LAUNCHER

I cant believe gamzee fucking Makara is still here. I was hoping that had all been a nightmare

Yikes! Yikes! Yikes! Yikes!

Asdfghjkjhgfdsdfghjkjhgfdsdfghjkljhgfrvghkhgf

I-

I don’t know how I didn’t see this coming

BEGONE, CLOWN

CANDY 31

I missed their interactions

John is so fucking funny sometimes

I’m laughimg so fucking hard

Also I’m going to keep calling her vriska and calling rose and kanaya’s child ‘kid vriska.’ Otherwise I will get incredibly confused between this vriska and actual (vriska)

Vriska I love you

Also I like how john straight up hates kid vriska

God she’s so intolerable. I love her.

Also vriska and dirk are so similar but I love vriska and can’t stand dirk

am I a misandrist

(I know it’s probably their differences; vriska is dedicated to being a hero and not a author/villain(?) and still, like, values people, even if it is in her own fucked up way. Also she’s like a billion times more critical of herself than dirk is)

oh god theyre talking about terezi

yeah that didn’t go anywhere I wanted it to

CANDY 32

fukcing. Gamzee.

Please god vriska beat this clowns ass

“brutal Double Axe Handle” “European-style Uppercut” “knife chop” “Discus Back Elbow”

Am I supposed to know what any of this means

I like how john is just watching this happen

Gamzee grabs (Vriska)’s foot by the bridge. Instead of yanking her off-balance, he opens his huge, bloody maw of a mouth and... runs his tongue along the rubber bottom of her shoe? (Vriska) freezes. She watches him lap the mud—and his own blood—out from between the grooves of the sole. His lips drag lewdly over the ridge of her footwear and begin sucking at where her big toe would be, if it were not safely ensconced in several layers of rubber and canvas.

Fucking GROSS

I hate this clown so goddamn much

This is the absolute Worst Outcome

Like I cannot imagine a more upsetting scenario than gamzee and vriska making out in canon

Dirk’s suicide would be a fucking palate cleanser at this point

That was a bad joke to make but that’s what homestuck does to you I fucking guess

CANDY 33

*I* don’t even remember the three pillars of canon

And I read that shit literally yesterday

I, unfortunately, have no idea what this means

Well. At least rose is happy. For the first time in the entirety of homestuck.

CANDY 34

“immoderately lit”

I’m going to say that all the time now. Thanks.

Vriska’s huge, mischievous smile freezes on her face. When her eyes pass the image to her brain, and it finally makes sense of this incomprehensible jumble of gray limbs, blue and purple slop, tangled black hair, and stunned faces, her expression begins to slowly melt. It then drifts quickly, from phase to phase, to one of wonder, then anguish, and finally, abject horror.

This is so fucking unfortunate

CANDY 35

At least all the vriskas are on the same page about this being the nightmare scenario. At least theres that.

Gamzee calling vriska “problematic.” I’m laughing really hard but I’m also like. Enraged.

And then, she lets go. His face is frozen in a repellent mask exhibiting the perfectly undetectable difference between terror and ecstasy. He’s dead.

I hope to GOD this is true but I’ve been tricked before

I don’t know if I will ever be truly free of gamzee fucking Makara

CANDY 36

Jake and his kid showed up to johns house and jake is wearing nothing but underwear

At this point this is one of the least strange things to happen

All the same, John finds it hard to feel much sympathy. Who is Jake? The one standing in front of him now, anyway. Has he always been this contemptibly pathetic, or is this too a function of the absurdity of this contorted reality? It’s hard to be sure. Are Jake’s “struggles” worth any more of John’s guilt and emotional energy than a Sim stuck in a pool without a ladder?

Jesus Christ. John did not come to play today. Fuck.

Also I feel incredibly bad for jake. I’ve never liked him but I’m not, like, a monster.

Or maybe he is doing exactly what Jake has always done. In a certain light, isn’t ascribing all this mess to some unconscious influence he might have had over the metaphysical shape of reality just a way to brush off his simpler failures as a man and a father?

God why is homestuck kicking my ass so bad

John constantly misses his dad and all I can think about is how often his dad told him that he was proud of him. And now john thinks he’s failed as a father.

John and jake are. Dancing.

I absolutely have not forgotten that jake is still in his underwear

CANDY 37

I’m living for this conversation between vriska and kid-vriska

Man I bet dirk hates john’s guts LOL

Like I imagine john’s retcon powers infuriate him

Though I bet dirk wouldn’t want the retcon powers for himself. It might take away the “challenge” of it. Idk.

Jesus Christ

How the turntables….

I Am Going To Vomit

Vrisrezi is so fucking legendary. No one can ever change my mind.

I also I just ate a ham and cheese sandwich and it was really fucking gross. Legit cant tell if I’m nauseous about that or vrisrezi

[CHANTING] VRISKA AND TEREZI ARE IN LOVE! VRISKA AND TEREZI ARE IN LOVE! VRISKA AND TEREZI ARE IN LOVE!

I’M SHAKING I FEEL SO VINDICATED RN

I forgive all the other dumb shit in this epilogue

Seriously. Transcends quadrants. I have been saying this for half a fucking decade. Vriska and terezi are in gay love. Eat shit, haters.

Asdfghjkl

I hate this stupid webcomic

I have nothing intelligent left to say anymore (as if I ever had anything intelligent to say) but. Homestuck good.

I am going to Lose My Shit

CANDY 38

Thank Fucking God

Also ever since dead teen space jade fell out of the sky, all of the characters have felt a lot more real

I’m not sure if that’s in the narrative or that’s just me getting over my disgruntlement at the incredibly batshit things happening in candy

Hatchi fucking matchi

Also getting some real dirk-fading-into-the-ether vibes from john here

Roxy is fucking laying into john damn

But it’s not like they arent making completely valid points

………..hmm……..

God I’m so depressed

I’ve spent 80% of my life worried that I’m doing the Important and Right thing

And in the last 4-5 years I’ve been confronted with my cosmic insignificance and I have not been able to get over it

Like I get it’s kind of asshole-ish. Narcissistic. Selfish. To think of your life and the people in it as something….sidelined. and to be all mopey over that.

I WANT to be all “who cares” about it because thinking that your life has any Grand Significance In The Scope Of The Infinite Universe is 100% impractical and frankly batshit

This is all to say that I have problems and homestuck if calling me tf out

CANDY 39

dave is in the FUCKING WHITE HOUSE

I swear to god if Obama shows up I will shit my fucking pants

He steps closer to investigate, wiping away at the layers of moss and dirt to reveal a surface he most certainly does recognize. It’s a transportalizer.

I am shaking in anticipation

It’s a mounted god tier costume, about the size an adult male would wear. He recognizes the symbol. It’s the same one Jake used to wear when they were teens. It is the symbol for Hope.

Obama played fucking sburb didn’t he

Why is homestuck so fucking funny

OBAMA LMAOOOOOOOOO

This is the most homestuck thing to ever happen in homestuck

Hologram throwing all this inspiring bullshit at dave and dave just repeatedly asking how Obama died

He tells himself there’s nothing wrong with crying. Of course there isn’t. Just... not in front of Obama. He’s GOT to keep it together.

I’m just gonna. Put this here.

Obama ships davekat

Daaaaaave ): ): ):

Yes I’m 21 years old yes I’m tearing up at a conversation between a fictionalized barrack obama and a fictional man who wears sunglasses from a ben stiller movie all the time

Hate this fucking comic LOL

“wake up”. What. What is happening.

The sliding panel reveals a recess, and in the recess stands a robot. It’s a gleaming, polished silver replica of Dave, but without shades. It stands totally still, unpowered. Dave struggles to make sense of what he’s looking at.

Is THIS the robot that dirk was building??

Wait Obama said he built it

What the actual fuck

Fucking. WHAT. DAVBOT?

This is so fucking weird

CANDY 40

Asdfghjkl

I love you aradia

Wow that conversation was…………..something

So calliope is fighting dirk for control of the narrative?

and dirk is like, an irresponsible author

especially interesting convo in light of dirk’s status as andrew’s self-insert

also I knew LE was gonna show up

CANDY POSTSCRIPT

rose…..bot……………..

I’ve got a bad feeling about this scoob

Also not feeling great about fucking davebot

That’s it for candy……………………..

Hopefully meat is more conclusive that

I’ve been reading for 15 total hours now

Might as well keep going

MEAT 25

Didn’t think I’d actually do it, huh?? Snide bastard

Also rose is going to straight die real soon isn’t she

And then become rosebot

Oh fuck right off

MEAT 26

Get wrecked you punk-ass bitch

MEAT 27

Okay so alt calliope is taking over jades body in this reality. Cool cool.

Also. Interesting that calliope said the way events are telegraphed, not what events are telegraphed. Goes back to importance of the speaker convo from candy

Dirk’s text is getting smaller asfgshfjk

Also good to know that calliope is completely Freaked The Fuck Out in this reality too, re: alt calliope occupying jade’s body

……….man

Also I’ve said this before but. Dirk and vriska. Are so alike.

MEAT 28

Terezi dear god I fucking missed you

It probably hasn’t been that long but it feels like forever

Yeah I suppose terezi’s been talking w/ the john that’s aged into his 30s

Also I was thinking about this lastnight & I forgot that time works different here in ye olde paradox space and I was kinda super weirded out thinking about a 30 y/o john flirting with terezi. I actually had a nightmare about it lmao. But this morning I remembered that terezis probably been at this forever.

I think the fact that john is even worried about this at all means he’s in pretty good shape

John: *thinks a girl is cute*

John: oh shit am I being a creep

Okay, terezi says she feels like she’s been out there for a hundred sweeps. That defo makes me feel better about her and john flirting

Okay, so I was right. John was the one bleeding in the car

Terezi’s not bleeding though so I am. Nervous to find out how that happens.

OF COURSE terezi is still looking for vriska, you fucking goon. Theyre in love.

Though I gotta say I wasn’t that down with johnrezi before the epilogue but. I have to say. It’s actually very cute.

Terezi just. Ate shaving cream.

MEAT 29

Oh, hi, jane

I kinda forgot how far along she is in her development as a full-blown fascist in this timeline

Dirk: *speaks*

Me: bitch

Jesus Christ

Waiting for dirk to call jane problematic

Calliope SNAPPED

MEAT 30

Why is karkat hiking around in a fucking suit

I love karkat

I love dave

Dave starting to explain super pacs to jake

And using sbahj for campaign ads asgdhadkjl

Why is he like this (I say, fondly)

Dirk is really out here being Like That

I’m

I have no words

Also I promise that this is unrelated but jake has inexplicably grown on me a little (not a lot)

MEAT 31

Now terezi is eating tobacco

She’s disgusting. I love her.

Terezi ):

John: *talks about how great terezi is*

Me: *nods solemnly*

I Am In Pain

GOD I love Terezi

Terezi: hold on. Lemme just do an impromptu surgery real quick.

Terezi: *is, very unsurprisingly, turned on by doing an impromptu surgery*

Oh ok this is happening

Good thing I found the time to get down w/ johnrezi I fucking guess

Not completely sure how I feel about this

MEAT 32

Is dirk about to fucking assassinate jake

He wouldn’t do that right

Dirk said transphobe rights??

God I hate this motherfucker

Dave: come…’out.’ What is this you speak of.

Roxy, dave, and alt calliope: Let’s talk about gender

Okay, so. Assassinating jake is something that dirk WOULD do

Calliope struggling to keep dirk back w/ the power of their narration is very fun to read though

Dirk: *slices the bell in half*

Me: that would’ve…made good content for a flash

Not to sound ungrateful but not one panel? Not one flash animation? Instead I have to read all these WORDS?

Of course if this were in a flash animation I probably wouldn’t understand fuckall of what is going on

On the other hand, it wouldn’t be taking me a billion years to get through this

God can roxy please get a pair of sunglasses to match dave. Please.

Hour? 17.5? Maybe?

Anyway I am being forced to take a break so I can participate in easter festivities (by which I mean eating dinner with 2 whole people)

Okay I’m back

I defo should be able to finish this tonight

Okay I guess killing Jake is NOT something that Dirk would do

At least. Not right now. And probably not permanently

dude…

you got to FLIP it

TURN-WAYS

Time to be back on dirk’s bullshit I guess

Meat 33

In the two hours that I was gone I managed to forget that john and terezi boned

Dirk saying things like “incel” and “cuck” make me want to Kill

Meat 34

Wow it so incredibly awful to read Dirk’s narration

I hate this stupid motherfucker so fucking much

Meat 35

*sees more orange text* oh jesus Christ

God why is he being so fucking cruel

Also if john dies then like. WHAT is the point.

Aw man I’m fucking crying

Man what the fuck

This shit fucking sucks

I gotta take a break

Meat 36

Now that I’ve taken like a 5 minute break to stop fucking crying it’s time to get back on the pain train I guess

Since I actually let Tears Fall there’s an increased chance that I’ll cry again

So I cannot be held accountable if I do that

Why the fuck does this clown keep misgendering roxy

Terezi: *pulls johns corpse out of a wallet to smell it* nothing weird about this

Also how tf is terezi gonna show back up shortly after john goes missing and no ones gonna suspect anything

Is it vriska. It’s vriska isn’t it.

Why do I feel like I’m either never going to get to see this conversation or I AM going to get to see it and its going to cause me immense personal distress

TEREZI SAID TRANS RIGHTS

Also terezi can hear dirk???????????

And are roxy’s pronouns him or them

Like did terezi just assume based on roxy’s appearance or did she talk to kanaya about it

Also I hate dirk’s stupid fucking guts

It does NOT help that I didn’t like him before the epilogue

God he sucks shit

Say it with me, now: we love terezi pyrope

Terezi DO NOT trust this clown ass motherfucker

Meat 37

Dirk is actually the worst dad. Don’t sweat it, john.

ROSE: Are you sure Kanaya is going to be ok with this?

No, rose. She absolutely will not be ok with this. What the fuck.

This shit sucks so goddamn much

I am going to be so depressed after finishing this arent I

Goddammit I’m crying again. I fucking knew I would.

Meat 38

Unfortunately I agree with dirk

FUCK

Davekat is so GOOD what the hell

Also

Karkat ):

Dirk will you fucking fuck off

I’m seriously okay with dave and karkat hopelessly pining forever if it means dirk doesn’t literally FORCE them to kiss. Like, what the fuck.

I take a deep breath and get myself under control. My light psychological intrusions may have only made things worse. Invested as I am in the outcome of this encounter, I know forcing their hand would be a mistake.

That’s the smartest thing you ever said you stupid fuck

Thank Fucking God

Meat 39

I’m nearing the end of this whole things and dirk still has narrative control. Not psyched about that.

He’s gently stroking the side of my arm now, making no effort to disguise his interest in the contours of my muscles. I use that arm to put a hand on his shoulder in an affable way, so that he’s forced to stop.

Dirk: I heard that Dirk has an 8-pack

Wait I already think I made that joke

He takes in every drop of light reflecting from my beautiful face. The sculpted cheekbones, the warrior’s eyebrows, the deadly serious yet exquisitely kissable mouth. This is the face he lives for now. A visage that, in mere minutes, will vanish from his life forever. The tears drop. His voice cracks.

Fuck OFF dude. I hate you so goddamn much.

I miss gamzee. GAMZEE. Can you believe that shit?????????

Also it’s so incredibly shitty that jane won the election against karkat

like there’s no way there’s gonna be any kind of resistance now for like, plenty of reasons, one being that it wouldn’t even start in the first place. Now jane’s gonna slide to Literal Genocide but with no opposition this time

god this is wack

Meat 40

I am so tired of seeing this fools orange text

Please god

Also I hate that homestuck has me counting exclamation marks to make sure theres not a significant number of them (8. 8 is the significant number)

Thinking about dave’s speech at dirk’s funeral and Not Feeling Great

Does dirk actually think dave is going to be the one to kill him or is that just his weird decapitation fetish talking

Meat 41

Kanaya I love you and this is not your fault but jesus Christ

Kanaya: I Have Been Bamboozled

Oh shes fucking mad

KANAYA: ***I SWEAR THAT I SHALL MAKE HIM PAY DEARLY FOR STEALING MY BELOVED WIFE!***

I know that I’ll never see it happen but I hope kanaya beats dirks ass into the goddamn ground

Remember when chainsawed eridan in half and put on bloodied lipstick afterward? That’s the shit I’m talking about

Welp. Bye, jade.

Fucking. My sentiments exactly.

Alright alt calliope is using ‘he’ pronouns w/ Roxy so I’m assuming that’s right, considering alt calliope has access to Roxy’s thoughts and shit

fuck you you punk-ass bitch

Meat 43

I have never in my life been more relieved to see red text instead of orange

Things are still pretty fucking awful, though. I haven’t forgotten that.

sdfghjkl

see things are 100% Very Bad rn but this isn’t like completely impossible to read? Like I enjoyed parts of the epilogue, didn’t enjoy other parts. But the a lot of the parts I didn’t enjoy just were so painful to read. It was damn near impossible sometimes. And like, I get what you’re trying to do, but imo tough subjects don’t necessarily need to be written in a way that makes me so viscerally upset lol

anyway what I’m saying is that I’m not viscerally upset right now. Considering I’m nearing the end, this is a good thing.

karkat is talking about how dumb the concept of incest is and is being a jerk about how roxy’s dressed. I am upset again.

Thank god dave is here to save the fucking day

I just sneezed and heard crackling in my ears. I’ve been hearing shit like that for a solid two months now. Is there fluid in my ears? Do I have an ear infection? How long do ear infections last?

I’m love them

They still don’t know john is dead ): ): ):

Thank fucking god

At least there’s the possibility that they’ll see john again and that calliope is going to provide some fucking guidance

Also arent epilogues supposed to RESOLVE SHIT and not like. Leave me hanging like this. I can tell it’s to leave me hanging and listen. Listen. I just want to be free.

I’m going to be 40 goddamn years old and homestuck: the sequel is going to come out and the characters are going to be 42 and dealing with the exact issues that I’m dealing with as a 40 year old and it’ll launch me into an at-least-a-month-long spiral of fruitless self-reflection while I cry about it

Oh god fucking dammit

What was his sacrifice, even? Having sex with terezi?

Sorry. I’m just bitter.

In any case, in addition to like, weakening LE enough for alt calliope to presumably kill him, I do think it has something to do with terezi. I don’t think her role in things is quite over yet.

Meat Postscript

Okay so we’re back to candy?

Or, at least, where candy left off

Did. Alt calliope eat LE. Is that what happens when cherubs defeat one another. Did I manage to forget this cannibalistic detail.

Did dirk influence Obama to make davebot so davebot could join forces with alt-calliope to go against dirk, or was that Obama intentionally going up against dirk

Did I really type that sentence with my own fingers

The hole leaves behind an absence in the sky so calm that continuing to call it a sky wouldn’t seem to do it justice. It’s a perfectly neutral expanse into which anything one can imagine might be summoned. And for a while, anything was. But not anymore. Where the hole gaped just moments ago, there now exists an imaginary line.

Above this line resides all that matters. Below exists all else. Never again the twain shall meet.

These are a dope couple of paragraphs

Also I know that this probably goes against everything I just read but I hope this means I never have to read about an offshoot timeline again

Like I get that that was all Homestuck Brand Fuckery but I need like 300 months to recover

21 hours of reading later and I don’t really know what to

#derseday #homestuck #upd8 #also this looks fucking wack on mobile #so dont even look i guess

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midnightiscoming-kasabian · 5 years

Photo

How Batman inspired Kasabian side project

By Paul Glynn 9 June 2019

As 21st Century rock 'n' roll names go, they don't come much bigger in the UK than Serge Pizzorno.

Over the past 15 years his tub-thumping band Kasabian have been selling out stadiums and headlining festivals like Glastonbury.

The guitarist/singer's name has also been synonymous with wonder goals at Soccer Aid and on Soccer Am.

For his first foray into the solo world, however, Pizzorno felt his given birth name in full just "didn't feel right", so while his band are taking a year off, he's now operating alone under the new moniker The S.L.P. [Sergio Lorenzo Pizzorno].

"It almost felt like it would be good if I was starting a new fashion line," laughs Pizzorno, "like Georgio Armani or something".

He added: "I thought the initials would be a better place to start.

"I also like Biggie Smalls, the B.I.G. - you know what I mean? The S.L.P. - I was into that."

"The dot after the P is very important if you're gonna write it," he stresses.

There's more to the re-name than meets the eye though, it seems.

As well as being a nod to a famous late rapper, Pizzorno claims his latest incarnation allows him the chance to free himself from the shackles of his day job - running a massive dance-rock "machine" - and to explore a different side his personality, with a whole new short-haired look to boot.

Much like his favourite superhero.

"There's three songs on the record called Meanwhile..." he explains, "Meanwhile in Genoa, Meanwhile... The Welcome Break... and Meanwhile… In the Silent Nowhere - that's the start middle and end of the album.

"I've always loved that, he's Bruce Wayne, meanwhile... he's Batman, in the Batcave!

"In everyday life he's got his suit on and behind what we don't see is that he's this thing, this alter ego.

"So I just thought you've got 'Serge', whatever that means, and meanwhile there's The S.L.P."

He adds: "It felt like OK, I've got a starting point and for me making music, I need a start point, I need a reason to do it.

"I'm not doing it to knock out cheese burgers and make profit, I'm into it to blow my own mind."

Pizzorno debuted tracks from his forthcoming debut solo album at a central London Q & A, alongside his friend, comedian and sometimes collaborator Noel Fielding.

One of Fielding's own alter egos - aside from baking cakes and cooking up surreal comedy - is portraying Vlad the Impaler, a character from one of Pizzorno's band's songs, at some live shows.

Fielding described his friend as "one of the best songwriters we've got," adding, "we should celebrate him."

'Self portrait'

The 38-year-old musician from Leicester views the record as "an updated self-portrait" and a chance to take stock of who he really is, where he's been and where he's headed.

His band have had five consecutive UK number one albums, with Pizzorno acting as the main songwriter and creative force.

"You get so far doing it and you just forget," he says, sipping a suitably rock 'n' roll-named cocktail - Crossfire Hurricane.

"You go 'oh that's what I do now', and some mornings you wake up and go 'I don't know if I wanna do that anymore'. Everyone does it, you do it.

"It's that thing of going 'man, remember when it wasn't about that?'

"So now I can ask whatever I want, I can go into a studio and don't have to think about headlining a festival, or getting it on the radio or all the things that creep in.

"There's a freedom to it, it can be whatever it wants to be and that is exciting."

The first thing "it" became was a collaboration, (thanks to a mutual friend) with one of the hottest rappers in the UK, Little Simz, on lead single Favourites.

The genre-bending track, which was Annie Mac's Hottest Record on Radio 1 earlier this year, tackles a subject that barely existed when Kasabian began - the stress of online mobile phone dating apps.

"I was sat in a boozer with my wife," he recalls, "and we saw these girls flicking through, going 'he's my favourite,' and I was like 'I'm writing that down, I love that.'

"It just got me thinking about the real you. What we put out to the world, especially online, is a heightened vision of yourself and the perfect version of you, but the reality is we're all sat at home panicking like hell about everything!

"I needed someone to buzz off and Simz, she's the best. So I sent her the track on email and told her what it was about and she loved it.

"It's this back and forth between this couple on a date and in their heads this voice is screaming out 'if you only knew the real me!' but then they can't give that away.

"She came down to the studio, we sat down and she penned it on an iPhone."

The re-branded Pizzorno is currently putting together a band for some Dave Byrne/Talking Heads-inspired theatrical live dates, which he promises will also include some more intimate solo moments.

"I don't want it to be like Kasabian" declares Pizzorno, who adds that his record - sonically speaking - goes "from Ibiza to Nigeria to... I dunno... Croydon".

And as he begins his musical metamorphosis into his own version of Batman, he does so with the full blessing of the man who has been his Robin for all these years (or vice versa) - Kasabian singer, Tom Meighan

"Tom? He loves it. He's my favourite bro!"

Sergio Pizzorno's debut solo album The S.L.P. is out later this year

Source: www.bbc.com | Photo: Carsten Windhorst

#kasabian #sergio pizzorno #the s.l.p.#noel fielding #favourites #little simz #interviews #interviews 2019 #london 05.06.19

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jkflesh · 5 years

Photo

Transcribed a rare interview with Kevin Martin from Spanish. Covering projects like Techno Animal, God, Ice, inception of The Bug... Run through an auto translator — pardon for the broken English at some parts. Self Magazine n15 (15 June 1999)

BLOOD AND MEAT / KEVIN MARTIN / TEXT A.C. NAÏA

Far from the wake of mundane media and glares, the name of Kevin Martin still resonates as one of the best kept enigmas of the new English experimental era. Antithesis of the unscrupulous corridor, this unclassifiable nihilist accumulates nevertheless every year, and with a disquieting discretion, an exponential number of crucial projects. Redefining the foundations of extreme rock, the abysses of the cybernetic dub or the electronic musical hell trails, his productions tear at the listener all feelings of indifference and comfort. Superficiality and lightness are also notions banished from their unstable world. Although he loves to bara-jar letters under various pseudonyms (God, Ice, The Bug, etc.) Kevin Martin does not cheat. It is in the depths of himself, in his wounds and anguish, that he draws the necessary energy for the singularly ardent expression of a creativity without stylistic excesses.

---------------------------------

- Can you tell us why you are often inclined to work with the same core of people (Justin Broadrick, Alex Buess, Dave Cochrane ...)?

The people you mentioned are musicians that I admire very particularly and whose musical steps I respect and greatly appreciate. They are beings without equivalents that, at the individual level, are very close to me: it is very difficult to find such a way of thinking, of approaching events and music in my opinion. Besides, it's true that I tend not to be very social in London. I have made a very cynical judgment about the types of bands that exist in London. People have, in effect, a tendency to form very closed groups that frequent certain bars, certain clubs, which are among themselves, say initiated by such a journalist or such a musician, around people of such stamp; It is especially shocking for people who claim to be in electronic music: they are always the same people who always walk together in the same place, with a kind of pre-established codes that prevent any openness, any tolerance from others. It is not difficult for musicians to be part of this genre of groups, it is simply the idea of ??clan or band that I dislike: I think that in it they lose their identity, their personality, since they must think, in some way, as the group and not by themselves. Justin and I, due to our past, we have many points in common in our sensitivity to the everyday, in our way of approaching musical creation. What seems almost a form of alienation that we should try to get rid of a bit (laughs)! Justin is almost a brother to me, the way we work together depends almost on telepathy: I have never met someone who could have the same tastes, the same musical aspirations as me. It is impossible for him or for me to live without music. It has become an almost unhealthy obsession to be in a permanent process of creation, we have constantly need to feel the extremes, to grow back always beyond the limits. As for Alex, when I created God I thought that no one had yet done what I wanted to do, that is, this idea of ??fusion of very extreme music, especially through free jazz and contemporary classical music, to create a dynamic on the sonorities, a kind of sensory impact. After some years with God I realized that someone had already specified a certain kind of dream that I had projected in God: a group that was called 16/17. - Finally you have worked with many musicians next to Mick Harris. Why have you never undertaken any project with him? At a given moment we wanted, in fact, to work on a common project; on the other hand, Justin [and he played many times in the old club that I had in Brixton. But Micky is a person with whom it is very difficult to work! (laughs) Micky is someone who does not want to think and least admit the idea of ??dialogue; On the other hand I think that today his music lacks something ... If he manifested something of animosity it would be against 90% of [people that there are on the world and not for the 10% of the people that I respect and love: That's why I do not understand how someone like Micky can be bad with certain people who count as his friends. - From God to The Bug, the variety of your projects is quite impressive. Is it that this multiplicity covers a particular desire to express itself in different ways? In fact I have never had the conscious will to accumulate the projects because of any frustration: God was, for example, a very free project in which I never imposed anything. By nature I am someone who never rests, who likes to work constantly. And I also like to work with people, because for me the music comes from a permanent learning and in that sense it has almost a religious dimension. It is a belief in itself. For me music must represent your own thought, your way of living and of conceiving things. If you think too abstractly, something will always be missing and, above all, you will not be honest with yourself. In that case it is essential that my music reflects the state in which I find myself and where I live, otherwise it feels a kind of betrayal. - Despite the multiplicity of names, there seems to be a profound similarity between all your projects. Do you have the feeling that after all you are trying to explain a single and always the same story in different forms? Yes, absolutely, but I do not know if because it is a state of mind, a particular attitude or simply the two things: Justin and I refer almost systematically to a 'hardcore' approach, but I never speak from a 'hardcore' cliché that immediately suggests a 'pu nk-bou rrin' trend, but to that authentic and profound element that can be found in every musical form, be it country, free jazz, hi hop or metal , called 'hardcore', that is, integrity, the fact One make no decision for commercial or business reasons, know how to save the unity of your creation without any commitment to the industry: it is what I call having a 'hardcore' attitude; it is this attitude that remains as a permanent plot after all my musical work. - It is found in your works (in the titles or the letters of the feet) very strong oppositions between your religious and mystical references with others related to sex or violence. This makes me think of writers like G. Bataille or also of sado-masochism ... Totally, but what I think is important is to consider this sadomasochistic dimension as inevitable, because it participates in the very nature of human relations, forms part of life. I am sorry to see that certain groups emphasize this particular aspect, as if it depended on the domain of the extraordinary. For me there is nothing abnormal or particular about this idea of ??sado-masochism. What interests me, anyway, is what allows me to really feel that I live: all the sensations that allow me to be or to exist. I deliberately put aside all the codes, programs or pre-established responses that society wants to impose, so sex remains one of those rare things that allow us to achieve ecstasy - and without artifice - and pleasure of this life. - Is it because the media have a hard time fencing and appreciating your music the reason why so few interviews and information about you are found in the press? I think I would lie if I said that we have done everything to avoid or reject the press or the media in general. Justin, more than me, has been very required because of Godflesh and has received some attention on his part. For mine, I have not done anything in favor of any personal promotion because it does not interest me and rather makes me uncomfortable. In fact, I think I am rather in disagreement with the feeling, with the interpretation of certain music magazines. And since I myself have been a journalist at The Wire, it would be ridiculous to say that I am against the press; but, on the other hand, I am precisely more aware of the sometimes erroneous vision of people who believe they have understood a music and that in the end it has gone from Largo to the essentials. In addition to all this, I think that today most of the musical compositions are totally impersonal and are directly related to the business, which immediately falsifies the starting data. I believe in music that is personal, I play a music that comes from me and from nowhere else. I do not have W1, 'journalists come to find out no matter what about what a part of the truth represents in me. It may seem like a cliché, but I think we play before us before we think about the audience or about the people who are going to buy our records. It may seem selfish, but it is just the truth, a very simple feeling: we like to play for ourselves! - Can we say that there is finally a direct relationship between strong elements of your past and your current musical production? Totally yes, particularly when I think about the influence that punk has had on me. It is the form of music that has revealed in me a particular feeling of freedom and of 'non-commitment', which has been in the end the most inspiring throughout all my projects. I remember very well the moment I ordered a Damned or Stupid record by mail - I do not know exactly - and instead I received an EP of Discharge: it was a kind of shock, almost a revelation. The music I listened to was usually very methodical and formal, and that, the first time, was a true deflagration of noise, without melodic consideration, far from the harmony or the traditional structures. Now I can assure you that it was thanks to that I heard that single that I thought about creating a particular sound. Punk in a general way - before becoming a caricature, and I think in particular of the Crass label - represents the freedom to create, independence and individuality, using music as the only means to interrogate the environment, the world , society, human relations, and non-commercial purposes. Punk has had a strong impact on the perception that I still have of music today. - Going back to the names of your different projects, Techno Animal refers to a kind of duality, an almost impossible mixture between technology and what belongs to the realm of instinct, of the animal ... Yes, completely, and there is a certain perversity that like in this association of words: it evokes the fusion that runs the risk of arriving in the coming years, the next stage of man is to merge with technology, and that will be the only way to survive. But Techno Animal also refers to the contradiction between technology, that is, everything that is machine and mechanics, kingdom of the scientific entity, which has nothing to do with the animal, either in form or in constitution; There are almost two associations that make sure that they will not work if they are merged. - Can Ice be considered as an extension of God? Let's say it was not thought in this sense, but based on the facts, it almost happens like that. Somehow I felt frustrated in God since I had to try to like too many people. For me, the music must be part of a democratic framework, a framework that I have not found more than in Techno Animal with Justin, since in fact we are so similar that the fusion between us is inevitable. The only problem is that there is no criticism between us ... With God everyone wanted to have their part of participation, their part of promotion, of notoriety in relation to their own instrument, that's why I ended up feeling frustrated since I did not could use to create more technological means. It became clear that if I wanted to work in the studio with the machines, I needed to form a new group. God was a group made for the scene, while Techno Animal was entirely a studio project - but recently we have started working with live instruments - and Ice is much closer to the idea of ??arranging the live music in a study. Somehow Ice gets a little closer to Techno Animal and has never been conceived to be a continuity of God. If God continues still in the future it will be in a radically different form. In fact in all my projects I try to translate my dreams, to make abstract ideas become alive and real. And if one day I lack ideas, visions or dreams, there is no other way for me to continue. It would be dishonest to follow by simple custom or for commercial reasons. This year I really had the impression that that moment had come, I believed that everything ended, that it reached the edge of the abyss. But in reality everything has started again, especially working on Ice's next album. - If you follow your record evolution, one realizes that your recent projects are more instrumental. Do you have the tendency to think that the voice does not contribute anything interesting? Interestingly on Ice's next album there is a voice in all the songs. I think it's a bit of a reaction to all the previous projects that, in effect, were becoming very instrumental. In fact the two years spent with this album have been a kind of lyrical catharsis in relation to the lack of communication or the use of the instrumental alone. I have the impression that in the new album the lyrics have been a kind of relief. Anyway I had an irresistible desire that this album was the most 'sung' of all that had been able to do before. I have spent hours in the studio to multiply my voice and transform it into 36 different effects to change all the intonations in each theme. But it is true that I think I have sinned little by little in my projects to reduce any need for verbal expression, because I can not stand the idea that the person who sings in a group is the focus of attention of the audience or listeners, when the other musicians are so important or sometimes even more so. For me a group is conceived as an entity and being honest with myself I would not stand to become the main focus of attention, simply because I sing or write lyrics. This hierarchy does not interest me, but unfortunately it is the most frequent. - The new Techno Animal album has been developed in collaboration with Alec Empire. Why have you chosen to work precisely with him? Because we do not like it (laughs)! I'm not kidding. I think he is someone who has managed to achieve a certain notoriety not because of a fashion issue but because he is full of energy and because he is entirely dedicated to his music, a little as if it were also a vital need in him. When we met him on the tour it was absolutely fantastic: it has never been a matter of ego or other nonsense of this kind as it happens with many musicians or groups. So the audience rather was disturbed by our live performance and he was the only one who stayed on the edge of the stage venting like a nutcase. We liked everything he did, I have written numerous articles about him and Justin has adored him since the first meeting. It is a question of attitude and Alec reacts in the same way as we do. - Can you tell us about this album of Techno Animal remixes made by Tortoise, Alec Empire, Wordsound, etc. which will be released under the City Slang label? It is another example of the work done with Alec Empire. Actually I would not say it's an album of remixes but rather of 'soundclash', it really is the most appropriate name. It is more a collaboration than a remix, the groups send us their sounds mixed with ours and then we return them after having also worked on ourselves. Everything is almost finished, we only wait for the band of Alec and Thomas Köner to finish the album. - What about the other name behind which you hide: DJ Dissector? (Laughter) It's just a joke, I wonder where you got the information from. Actually I was fed up with all this hype that there was around a so-called 'Dj culture'. What I really love to see and put on the highest point are the 'Scratch Djs' from the US, in general people who remain invisible to the public and who nevertheless have tremendous talent, but I do not like to accept that pseudo-idea brought by people that are not Djs about a culture of Djs. - About the Djs, what do you think about the New York phenomenon-not the illbient and its figureheads like DJ Spooky? Recently I discovered a group called Priest, from which only one single appeared and which is related to that movement and I found the topic interesting. As for DJ Spooky ... I respect Paul D. Miller for his communicative side: it's fun to hear him speak, to see the body of knowledge that, on the other hand, he handles with a certain mastery. As for his work, I think he is not up to what he wants to do, I think he is benefiting from a certain fashion phenomenon that does not really reflect the quality of his work; I know many DJs darker than him who do better things and innovate more than him. I remember the tour we did in January with Alec and Spooky: I was surprised to see that all the attention was focused on him and that nobody cared about Alec, when for me the work of this one is better, more experimental. I also believe that most of the ideas that support the illbient movement do not come from Paul D. Miller, but from others like David Toop, etc. But Spooky has managed to impose because he likes to be under the light of the projectors and I think he is strong enough to do his own promotion. It is funny because many musicians that I have been able to find detest Spooky, and in particular, because of his way of seeing things, of all his knowledge. I think very honestly that he is a very sympathetic guy and that in a very intelligent way he adapts to different media and knows how to adapt his language, even if he is before a rapper or a composer like Xenakis. But I do not like his work, I do not consider him as a Dj. I think what he has said about trip hop or elscratching is not coherent: he has the tendency to dilute the great importance of hip hop while I think it is one of the values ??of the future, since in three years I am sure it will be a lifestyle completely separate, taking into account the passion and quality of work of people who are fully involved in this move. The underground hip hop of New York is absolutely extraordinary, but unfortunately many DJs stay in anonymity and it is Spooky who always monopolizes the most attention. I think that this is due to the journalists who are stronger in the art of creating phenomena from little ... - The last project of The Bug with DJ Vadim until now is an auditory adaptation of the film 'The Conversation' by Francis Ford Coppola. How did you come up with this idea? In addition to the album, The Bug was not really a collaboration with Vadim. He contributed the sounds of the drums and I did all the rest. But hey, for reasons that I will not need here, I could not be the leader of another formation that was not Techno Animal. However The Bug is not another group at all, but hey ...! I met Vadim about two years ago and I loved his way of approaching things and treating them. Then he asked me to work on a project and six months later I had the idea of ??an imaginary soundtrack that would be completely electronic, but later I saw that it was an outdated idea since I had worked it last year. If The Bug continues, the idea is to try to make soundtracks of films that you want to listen to or that would replace those that already exist because they do not convince us in relation to films. I saw the film for the first time ten or twelve years ago and the only thing I remember is a set of very strong feelings about violence, the obsession to be both voyeur and paranoid in front of the characters. I have seen it again and then I have proposed to Vadim to make a new sound interpretation of 'The Conversation' because it seemed to me that some very strong elements of the film had remained hidden or in a residual state in the soundtrack. It was very marked by the way in which the film shows the internal and external duality of the characters, I found it extraordinary. - You seem rather disappointed about the record industry. Ice's next album, however, is on WEA ... Yes, I'm really cynical about everything that can be done about the groups and the music itself, but this interests both the big and to the independent labels: most of them are not worth much, you only have to see the Earache stamp that has made me go through the tube to me as to other groups. This label has become worse than one of the big ones! For me it is not contradictory to make an album in a big label because in any case the relationship is simple: they exploit me, but I also exploit them with a rebound, all the maximum and in the longest time I can ... (laughs) I understand completely that I can be criticized for this, but I do not care. I always think about 1 to 5% of the people that interest me and that reciprocally are interested in my work, and for me it is a kind of important victory against the commercial machine every time I can get an album with a big house: it is the case of Isolationism 'with Virgin; I was very happy to see that God finally appeared in the department store and that the group received a certain popularity. Do not forget that it is an authentic war that takes place in musical circuits and to receive something, you have to be in permanent struggle.

#kevin martin #techno animal #ice #god #the bug #justin broadrick #alec empire

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