Since the 12th of September my husband has been gone.
He has been staying and traveling throughout North Carolina.
Far away from me, far away from his responsibilities. That is where he needs to be and that is where he wants to be.
For the life of me I cannot understand why he thinks I was cheating on him. Like, just why. I have no reason to cheat. We had sex often. We spent time together. We were in love. There would not have been any reason for me to do that. So confusing.
Even now, on the phone via text as I sit here at my desk, he is telling me I am flirting. LOL.
Please. How in the fuck is that even possible?
I think he likes it. Honestly, I think he likes fighting. He likes the bickering.
So odd to me, as I like peace and quiet. Others will say that isn't true.
How can someone who involved in so much drama, not like the drama.
Right now, he is telling me that I am back and forth from the shop to my desk. Like I was outside. In the shop. So weird.
It probably will never change with him. I honestly do not know if I can ever live with it. But for whatever reason, I don't know if I can live without him either. Which makes me want to throw up.
I like my freedom. I like being able to do whatever I want whenever I want. I don't like asking for permission and I don't like being questioned about my actions. But here I am married to a control freak with insecurities. Dear lord. I think this will be the death of me. Might want to consider that aspect. Probably not.
"Who we are in life, echos in eternity" Maximus Desimis Meridious - Gladiator
I try to be good in life. I really do. Things I have done to other people were never just for my own good. It was for the good of others. And although I know what I have done is wrong and I am not trying to justify it at all, I just know that I if I had it to do over again I would do it differently. For sure. I would have worked harder. I would have done more than I did.
But as in all circumstances, hindsight is 20/20.
I have been a non-compliant woman for most of my life that I Can remember. I honestly do not know if I can be the compliant one.
There was not a time that I can recall that I did exactly what I was supposed to do or at least what I was told to do.
Life is weird. Relationships are weird. Marriage is weird.
My husband is weird. I know that I am weird.
We have this situation that I have never been in before. Wait. I was once. The marriage still ended, but it was just a prolonged end.
I just saw him on FaceTime and oh my lord he looks bad. Like really really bad. I have never seen him look at that. This is my husband and I just looked at him and I don't recognize him.
Babe. Please get yourself well.
As a desimy myself I am over the moon! BTS were eating desi food. Jimin and Jungkook were trying Paneer which they were figuring out if it was tofu or not! Hobi was literally eating NAAN AND CURRY!!! And that to in desi style. BON VOYAGE 4 IS SERIOUSLY THE BEST!!!
🎆🍭🌟💜This is the Amazing Person Award! Once you are given this award you are supposed to paste it in the ask of eight different people, who, in your opinion, deserve it. If you break the chain nothing will happen, but it is sweet to know someone thinks you’re amazing inside and out 🎆🍭🌟💜
sorry for taking my goddamn time with this ask but AAAHHH Thank you Alexa I love you so much baby~~~I’ll just tag all the peeps I think deserve this wonderful award omg
Heyy, ur delicate series popped on my page and I scrolled through ur blog (it’s so pretty btw) and I’m from India too!! (I get very excited whenever I see Asian ppl on Tumblr T-T) and I’m also in my last year of schl…exams r gonna start soon I feel ur pain :(((
heyy fellow desimy !!! (im excited too dw :])
haha i put alot of effort into my blog ( unlike my studies D: ) i hope you liked the delicate!family as much as i do !!
exams are sooooo close but it feels soooo far away >.< sometimes i study, sometimes im just like, "nah, not today" and just sleep 😭 let's ace these exams !!!
Suga from daechwita.⚜️ My phone camera is not so good but hopefully I have a scanner , so I can post good quality pictures. ☺️ . My entry for #sennelieraquarellechallenge inspired by Song: Daechwita from August d2 mixtape. Materials used Watercolor paper: brustro ,300 gsm Watercolor : camlin artist . . #btsfanarts #btsfanart #btsart #desimys #watercolorportraits #sugadaechwita #sugafanart #yoongifanart #minyoongi #creativehands #brustrowatercolourpaper #augustd2 #semirealism #watercolorart #sennelierindia #btsyoongi #artstagram #portraits #bangtanboys #minyoongi #bangtansonyeondan #daechwitasuga https://www.instagram.com/p/CC-z8RvgJn2/?igshid=35fxwak1kxu0