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diaryofastudent · 3 years

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Thank you for the tag @sunflowervol6-hslwt !

MUSIC

fav genre? Indie, classical, modern grunge/indie rock.

fav artist? Wilbur Soot, Lovejoy, Clairo, Cavetown, Lemon Demon, AJR, Mother Mother, Tally Hall, Mitski, mxmtoon, Bo Burnham.

fav song? The whole Lovejoy EP.

most listened song recently? Lovejoy (EP), Violent by carolesdaughter, Arms Tonite by Mother Mother, Loverboy by A-Wall.

song currently stuck in your head? Arms Tonite by mother mother.

5 fav lyrics?

I've been scared of sleeping with the lights on / Know she's not there, I know she's going to his flat // A Capricorn, oh, fuck that They say sex sells, I know that.

One day, I know that you will be there / One day, I'll focus on the future Maybe / one day, oh, baby, isn't life so fucking inconsistent?

Wasting your time / Wasting mine / Hard to see you go / A fate worse than dying // Your city gave me asthma / That’s why I’m f**king leaving / The water gave me cancer / And the asphalt hurt my feelings.

Don't mess with me I'm a big boy now and I'm very scary / I punch my walls, stay out at night, and I do karate / Don't message me cause I won't reply, I wanna make you cry // Ain't that how its s'posed to be? Though it isn't me / Boys will be bugs right?

Do you feel me? Take a look inside my brain / The people always different but it always feels the same / That's the real me, pop the champagne / The haters wanna hurt me and I'm laughin' at the pain // They give so much to me, I'm losing touch, get me? / Served on a silver platter, ask for seconds, they just let me

BOOKS

fav book genre? Mystery, YA, Horror.

fav writer? Lemony Snicket, Arthur Conan Doyle, Oscar Wilde.

fav book series? A Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket.

comfort book? None/Any!

perfect book to read on a rainy day? Any book from the Series of Unfortunate Events.

fav characters? Henry Winter, Sherlock Holmes, Klaus Baudelaire, Violet Baudelaire.

5 quotes from your fav books that you know by heart?

“It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data. Insensibly one begins to twist facts to suit theories, instead of theories to suit facts.” -Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Sherlock Holmes.

“2 November. This morning, for the first time in a long time, the joy again of imagining a knife twisted in my heart.”- Franz Kafka, Diaries, 1910-1923.

“4 December. To die would mean nothing else than to surrender a nothing to the nothing, but that would be impossible to conceive, for how could a person, even only as a nothing, consciously surrender himself to the nothing, and not merely to an empty nothing but rather to a roaring nothing whose nothingness consists only in its incomprehensibility.” - Franz Kafka, Diaries, 1910-1923.

“For Beatrice - I cherished, you perished, The world's been nightmarished.” - Lemony Snicket, The End.

“I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday.” -Lemony Snicket, The Beatrice Letters.

TV AND MOVIES

fav tv/movie genre? Mystery, horror, YA.

fav movie? IT: Chapter 1.

comfort movie? None!

movie you watch every year? I can’t think of any right now!

fav tv show? Sherlock.

most rewatched tv show? I haven’t rewatched any show!

ultimate otp? None!

5 fav characters? Charlie Dalton, Richie Tozier, Sherlock, Sheldon Cooper, The professor (Money Heist).

Tagging: @ralphswilltolive @adelicateculturecell @ancientoptimism @shit-thats-true (No problem if you don’t wish to do it!)

#tagged

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filthyguitarfan · 3 years

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Writing about more songs that I like uwu

Indie for life.

I Bet On Losing Dogs - by Mitski I love this song because it resonates on a deep level with me. This one, to me, is about doing things that you know they will backfire or just fail, but doing them anyways. I had a relationship last year that I was really enjoying, my ex was the kindest guy I’ve ever met and we clicked really well, but my father found out by me not closing our conversations and he literally went berserk, threatening to out him to his parents and threatening me with physical violence. Wasn’t nice. The entire relationship was a losing dog, I knew it’d be found out one day, I just hoped that it wouldn’t be found out so soon. I knew that I had bet on a losing dog. I was watching the relationship fall apart in front of my very eyes as soon as my dad found out, but I still stood by the ring, looking into its eyes when it was down. I still cry about it sometimes. Oh well.

Because Dreaming Costs Money, My Dear - by Mitski A song about still feeling an aching void after something had passed. I can still smell the fire, though I know it’s long died out. The smoke still hangs in my hair and on some quiet evenings it burns my eyes. I can still hear my ex’s voice in my head, I can still see us walking around town when I go out and those memories sometimes make my eyes well up. The hopeful part of this song isn’t that we will be mended one day, but that if I “keep playing my violin” I will be out of this abusive household and I will manage somehow. Made Me This Way - by Seraphine I know that Riot only made Seraphine to please their chinese parent company, Tencent, but I really like the message they have here. Plus I think it’s really inclusive towards people who speak mandarin and are of Chinese descent, since one of its verses is in mandarin! The lyrics reminds me of the long way that I’ve come, from being a depressed emo kid to someone who aspires to become a surgeon. Everything that’s happened to me has contributed, one way or another, to me becoming the way I am now. Sunny Road - by Emilíana Torrini A song that the singer wrote for her deceased fiancé, who tragically lost his life to a heart attack. To me, this song is addressed to better times and happiness. I know it’s been a long time since I felt happy, but I hope I’ll meet it one day on a sunny road. Pillar of Truth - by Lucy Dacus A song that Lucy wrote to her grandmother when she was dying. To her, she was the pillar of truth that was turning to dust before her very eyes. The song is wonderfully written, growing in intensity as it progresses like a line of matches that’s been lit and is building up speed towards a pile of gasoline. This song was constantly playing in my mind when my great grandmother was dying. The 89 years that she lived on this planet and all the challenges she overcame. All of that, being reduced to nothing. I absolutely adore this song and I really recommend it. Through the Valley - by Shawn James This song first hit my ear when I heard Ellie singing it in the first teaser for The Last of Us Part II. I instantly fell in love with it, and boy oh boy, is it a good song. Grungy, melancholic and badass at the same time, it perfectly encapsulates the feeling of being left alone to rot, yet rising from your own ashes to seek vengeance. Motion Sickness - by Phoebe Bridgers A great song about being put on an emotional rollercoaster. The motion sickness you get is purely emotional, then you start asking for someone to roll the windows down. My father is verbally and sometimes physically abusive towards me, but after prolonged acts of abuse comes a period of overblown displays of affection. The kind of conditional affection that I’ve taught myself to reject, because it’s like the high from a shot of heroin. Be Your Own 3 AM - by Adult Mom The first non-binary artist that I’ve ever listened to! Adult Mom’s sound is very soft, tender and lulling. This song is about collecting your debris once you’ve fallen apart and building yourself anew. It helped me through my years when I felt lost and expectations were piling higher and higher. Wreck of the Day - by Anna Nalick A song that I like to put on loop when I feel like a mess. There were lots of shifts on the ambulance that left me completely destroyed. I haven’t had a patient code on me, but I did have dead patients who were DOA. The faces of the family and the torment that lingered in the air was hard to take in at first but I have gradually learned how to handle it. God bless this song. Real Love - by Big Thief This song captures those tender loving moments of you and your loved one just spending time together, alone, and admiring each other. Touching each other’s cheeks, promising to love each other forever. Masterpiece - by Big Thief THE song that I go to when I feel like I admire someone too much but they’re taken. They’ve seen the master piece, and it looks a lot like me, but they chose them over me. Relying on them only to get nothing when you need them.

Suicide Hotline - by The Prettiots A song about not feeling fine, envious of people who died, googling methods of suicide, but not feeling bad enough that you’d actually do them. Comparing your own shit to other people’s shit helps you put your shit into perspective . Map On A Wall - by Lucy Dacus Oh, please, don’t make fun of me. This song really does well with capturing the insecure sentiments of teenage years and early adulthood. I was always self conscious about my silhouette, about my teeth, my hair, my acne and my proportions. Even about the shape of my eyes. Yearning for someone while also trying your best to look good, even though everything you put on just feels bad. A map has no use when it’s just hanging on a wall, and neither does your true self if it’s hiding behind anxiety.

Into The Fire - by Thirteen Senses A leap of faith. A jump into the unknown. Into The Fire is all about what the title says: put your hand into the fire. Sometimes, we have to take risks. Write that e-mail. Apply to that college. Ask that special someone out. Do that needle decompression to save someone’s life. All year round, risks have to be taken. You can’t watch the flame and complain about it because it won’t get you anywhere. You have to take that jump yourself.

Anyway bye.

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ralph-with-coffee · 5 years

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Mitski Miyawaki -“Nobody”

It is 9:15 PM, my room had already been submerged into darkness, and street light streamed through windows illuminating pieces of my room. Unbothered, I let the darkness take it’s placed, as my ears filled with the aromatic voice of a woman, who slowly regurgitates her solitude with satirical — perhaps even ridiculously insane — levity. As her melancholic melodies streamed through my earplugs, I felt my eyes already damp with tears. As I sat in a wooden armchair in darkness, I let my eyes soak. Somehow, her deep, husky voice turned a bitter solitude into a cup of well-aged whiskey on-a-rock.

Mitski Miyawaki throws a straight-ball at you with her courageously candid words in her song, “Nobody”, which released on June 26th, 2018. In her deep lubricious voice, she says what she means right off the bat: “My God, I’m so lonely (When you truly feel lonely, there is no beating about the bush or keeping polite etiquette) … And I don’t want your pity.”

But she also leaves room for many others to have their own interpretation. Particularly, when she sings “I’ve been big and small and big and small … and still nobody wants me,” I interpreted as how no one cares in spite of success and failure I have. In an interview with Genius on YouTube, Mitski actually explains that it is about how her body size has been changing from big to small to big and still no one wants her. She chose words that are simple but flexible to help the audience (like me) to make interpretations to incorporate her song with personal experiences.

If you read just the lyrics of “Nobody” by Mitski and imagine a rancorous 5th grader steaming about how no one would like to play with her, you can easily get a picture of someone that you would want to run away from as soon as possible. The key reason why “Nobody” is so alluring in spite of its raw message is that her voice, which is soothing, delicious, and unapologetic, compels your imaginations to take it to even a higher dimension of interpretation.

Listening to her voice, you can picture a woman (not a girl) who has matured through survivorship in life that we go through as an adult. Yet her grown voice now childishly seeks a genuine human touch — a touch that we all secretly crave, living a busy life. Listening to her sing “An I know no one will save me I just need someone to … give me one good honest kiss” — all invisible walls of secrecies and lies between strangers are gone. From a soul to soul, it’s howling for an honest human touch.

One of the reasons why “Nobody” is approachable in spite of handling a touchy subject as loneliness is because Mitski understands that the world we live in is not so kind one. Mitski explains in her interview with Genius that “pity” is an emotion you have for someone who’s lower than you. We live in a world where we look upon loneliness as a weakness. A psychological debility that needs to be fixed with therapy and whatnot. But Mitski also understands that the world does not tolerate someone who demands love too much. “Venus, the planet of love was destroyed by global warming. Did its people want too much too?” is a statement that nails in the head.

By repeating the word “nobody” over and over, she plays with her own despair of having become an unlikeable person. It feels as though you are watching a Muk-Bang, a video where you indirectly feel happy by watching someone eating a food deliciously; you feel liberated from the fear of loneliness by declaring that nobody will want you.

Mitski, with her alluring voice, simple and courageous lyrics, and gracefully crafted song that reveals her matured character invites her listeners for the journey with despair and desire for love. Her raw emotion and sophisticated exposition of meanings even help listeners relish their own loneliness with a style.

She is not a defeated — no, she is a fighter, grappling with her own desperation and loneliness with dignity and tenacity. Within gracious ups and turns of her voice, she weaves an articulate invitation to a dance party. To whom? To a society who is damn too quiet for our solitude.

…

Lastly, I’d like to end this commentary (haha ok) with a personal note. Listening to Mitski’s “Nobody” for the first time in that dark empty room, I realized I just met a woman who has the same soul like mine. I thanked her for her honesty, because oh, I would not have said it straight-faced to anyone. Her graciousness, her honesty, her sophistication, and her diligence in making this message pass through to the world made this song stand out among the others. I look forward to her next project and I hope to be a small droplet of rain that can flow with her own journey.

Hmm, for just those who are interested, more personal story is here. Just before I discovered (although she’s been famous since a long time ago already) Mitski’s “Nobody”, I’ve had an especially hard time at work, strained relationships with my friends and my family, and from women whom I’ve grown to like a lot. All of this happened in a single day. All meaning in life seemed to have dissipated away. Although I was still moving forward in my life, it was getting tiresome handling bitterness, loneliness, and meaninglessness.

But I was not honest with my own feelings until the night I listened to Mistki’s “Nobody”. Her song was like a lightening shock to my heart and brain, making me realize that I am actually pleading for love, attention, and acknowledgment. I am don’t know how to express this and I am not good at expressing it, and I am fearful of what others will think of me if I do so, that I just pretend that it does not matter to me at all.

The world demands me to be useful and in order to become powerful enough to stand up as a functional human being and socialize with others, I need to accomplish things. Her song was a place to acknowledge where my problems stem from and play with it. Now, I feel rather confident to face the world. I will be alive tomorrow even if the whole world does not like me. That gives me the freedom to be audacious to dream. Dream to meet someone whom I can connect with.

photo credit: YouTube via Google

Please feel free to leave a comment below for how I can improve my writing! I have just started writing blogs and I would appreciate any kind of feedback! Thank you! 🙂

#writing #mitski #miyawaki #nobody #commentary #meaning #life

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juliaisabellphoto · 5 years

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Music Journal #1: 2018 Albums of the Year

Thus far, I’ve dedicated this blog solely to my attempts at becoming a decent photographer, as well as some scattered descriptions of my travels. While I have no intention of making this blog absurdly personal or anything more than an artistic outlet, I’ve always had an itching to write about the music I find & listen to. So, without further ado, I’ll start with my favorite albums of the year (& a short summary of my thoughts on each)

1. Tash Sultana, Flow State

I stumbled upon this gem of a project late in 2018 when I was itching for an album to drown myself in. As soon as the first notes of “Seed (Intro)” blasted in my headphones, I knew I had chosen right. With a beautiful combination of melodic guitar riffs, biting electronic drum tracks, and silky, laid-back vocals, Sultana opens up a world for the listener to fall into. Listening to this album is startlingly similar to a dreamless night of sleep - one moment you feel as though you can discern the differences between tracks, and the next you’ve made it all the way to track eight without noticing. “Cigarettes” is certainly the vocal gem of the piece, with smooth R&B roots & a chorus that just won’t get out of your head. In stark contrast, “Blackbird” is a song of instrumental mastery. The vocals take a backdrop to the intense conversation (and at some points, argument) being had by Sultana’s competing guitar melodies. Sultana’s work on the guitar is often reminiscent of John Butler Trio & other acoustic greats, but the addition of their unique voice allows the album to take an entirely unique shape of its own. If I have one piece of advice for 2019, it’s to make time to sit and do nothing but listen to this album.

Must watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GVDJ8O3lPBA

2. Ariana Grande, Sweetener

This was an obvious choice. Ari dropped the album we all needed to hear in 2018. With the artful ability to produce banging pop songs with real meaning, Grande has the makings of a star who will not stop shining for a long, long while. The album is brimming with girl power and independence while also being honest and genuine. The entrancing bass line and sexy confidence of “God is a woman” captured the attention of functionally everyone this year, and with good reason. The subsequent confessional “breathin” showed that even the most badass women have their struggles. Chronicling her fight with anxiety, the song provides a stunning anthem for holding your head up through hard times. If this album proves anything, it is that the new queen of pop has arrived and will be staying.

Must watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivwciGSLC-M

3. ASAP Rocky, TESTING

In this album, ASAP Rocky ascends to a whole new level of hip-hop greatness. When describing the project, he stated that it was ‘all about testing new sounds,” and that shows. The abrasive intro song, “Distorted Records,” sets the stage for a completely unique soundscape. This experimentation continues throughout the album with funky drum tracks and accompanying melodies, but ASAP Rocky’s clean vocal style provides a uniting constant.

While most of this album is perfect for blasting on the highway with car windows down, one song stands out as an independent masterpiece. “Purity.” featuring Frank Ocean, stands in stark contrast to the air of invincibility found in the rest of the album. This song is vulnerable: an introspective discussion of intoxication-related demons laid over an artful sample of Lauryn Hill’s “I Gotta Find Peace of Mind.” This slow, heart-wrenching piece provides an end to the album that is completely antithetical to its beginning. The immense versatility shown in one album alone deserves to be at the top of any 2018 list.

4. Khruangbin, Con Todo El Mundo

If I’ve learned anything this year, it’s that the best instrumental music has the ability to say more than any lyrics can. Khruangbin’s second album does just that: every song has a character and a storytelling emotion wrapped up in its funky bass lines. At times, the album floats along as life does (see “Como Me Quieres.) At others, for example in Maria Tambien, there is the feeling of being in the midst of some dramatic situation. The album instrumentally represents the stages of individual thought (both active and passive) and it is completely enthralling.

Fun fact: the track “August 10″ is the song “August 12″ from their first album, but played in reverse. They described it as a “connective tissue” between their first album and their second. Cool stuff!

Must watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vWLJeqLPfSU

5. Mitski, Be the Cowboy

I first listened to this album as I fell asleep on a plane ride, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. The droning, climactic beauty of this album is best experienced on its own with nothing to distract but your own droopy eyes. The album starts off slow with “Geyser,” but quickly works its way up to the earth-shaking climax of “Pearl.” The album is filled with complex sonic peaks and valleys from there on out (try to find a melodic similarity between “Remember My Name” and “Come into the Water” - I date you.) The songs of this album feel like different chapters in a storybook, and that’s exactly how Mitski wanted it. When she described her intentions, she said that she wanted the album to feel like “the image of someone alone on a stage.” ‘Be the Cowboy’ cleverly achieves this - finishing the album feels like finishing a novel, including the disappointment at the lack of further content.

6. Troye Sivan. Bloom

This pop album bursting with energy and emotion accesses the wonderful, terrible process of falling in and out of love. While I could talk for paragraphs upon paragraphs about the hours that I spent dancing in my kitchen to this album, that’s not the primary reason for this album’s place on my list. With ‘Bloom,’ Sivan produced one of the most emotionally versatile musical pieces of the year. When I discuss his songs with people, I am always struck by the differences in what they mean to each of us. Certainly, this variance in meaning is the nature of music - but Sivan pushes that to a new level. His songs are a vibrant and powerful normalization of gay expression, and provide the whole world with relatable songs to dance (and cry) to.

Must watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5xCMF7jsDJI

7. J. Balvin, Vibras

There is only one thing that this album makes you want to do: dance. It is absolutely guaranteed that your hips will be moving by the end of song number two. The beats on this new album are hot and infectious, as shown by the popularity of “Mi Gente” in clubs everywhere. Reggaeton as a genre has gained massive popularity globally, and Balvin has jumped into this with new variations of the traditional Columbian style. Noticeable throughout the album are infusions of popular trap beats as well as salsa and electronic dance music (see “Machika.”) The album is undeniably sexy, y despues de escuchar todas personas quieren mas ;)

8. LP, Heart to Mouth

I read somewhere that this album was a “full-length heartbreaker.” As I progressed through each song, this description was confirmed ten times over. There is not a single song on this album that didn’t make me feel something real. In no particular order, LP represents the whirlwind of emotions that come with the end of a relationship: regret, pain, missing someone, liberation, strength. The entire conflicting mess is all there. Listen to ‘Recovery’ if you need a cry, and ‘Girls Go Wild’ if you need a therapeutic dance party. All I can do is feel thankful to have received this raw, empowering confessional. And of course, her stunning vocals don’t hurt one bit.

Must watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ACWS4ajWdww

9. Mac Miller, Swimming

Listening to this album in the wake of Mac’s death is haunting. His words cut deep, and they cut deeper after knowing the full extent of how he struggled. The themes of growth and healing are wrapped up in overwhelming melodies and Mac’s beautiful voice. The first track of the album, “Come Back to Earth,” sets the stage for the emotional rollercoaster that each track is bound to be. After this song, he launches into the groovy “Hurt Feelings” and begins to describe the intricacies of his hardships. This album is something you could easily bop around your kitchen table to (queue “What’s the Use?”), but if you listen too closely you might end up in tears. In this contemplative and instrumentally complex record, Mac’s last work was his strongest.

Must watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QrR_gm6RqCo

10. Liz Brasher, Outcast EP

I first heard this EP on an episode of NPR’s “All Songs Considered” in the middle of a long drive up California Highway 5 (one that would’ve been torturous without the discovery of new music.) The song “Body of Mine” immediately caught my ear, and I dove into the rest of Brasher’s music as deeply as I could. Uncut garage-band sound is the overwhelming theme of the EP - “Body of Mine,” “Come My Way,” and “Outcast” make this crystal clear. Despite the quick assumptions that can be made about her sound, Brasher pulls complexity into the EP with the heart-wrenching ballads “Feel Something” and “Remain.” These two songs showcase the raw strength of her voice and the emotion that she can convey with it. I am excited to see what her music develops into as she gains more acclaim in the new year. Thanks again, NPR!

11. Travis Scott, ASTROWORLD

I haven’t been a huge Travis Scott fan in the past. I would passively listen to his music, but I never understood all the buzz about him. This album completely changed my mind. ASTROWORLD is a masterpiece in so many ways, and the amount of depth present in the album is mindblowing. While “STARGAZING” and “SICKO MODE” stand out as obvious party bangers, it’s no surprise that many fans are hooked on calmer tracks like “YOSEMITE” and “COFFEE BEAN.” If I were to describe the different musical styles employed on this album, I would truly be describing every song. Scott enters a new realm of production genius, giving club DJs exactly what they want while also producing the perfect songs for a chill night in smoking. He includes the autotuned party business he employed in past albums while also mixing in pure, clean cuts of his own voice. It was a pleasant surprise to hear an album from a trap artist with both diversity and widespread quality. Officially a Travis Scott fan.

Must watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=enYt3dKXWkE

12. Christine and the Queens, Chris

I was also introduced to this album late in the year, and I’m glad I was because its energy was exactly what I needed. This half poppy half funky explosion of energy is what anyone needs to listen to on a down day. This album was her rebranding as Chris, an “affirmation of desire as a force of chaos” as she described in an interview with NPR. In both the album artwork and the record’s descriptions of love and identity, she plays with the fluidity of gender and its meaning in our modern era. This phenomenal record is an exercise in both shifting representations of desire and making you dance, and I’m so here for it.

Must watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sjliweXTCYM

12. Kacey Musgraves. Golden Hour

This slow-rolling album is perfect for a slow day. When I initially saw this album on the top charts, I was confused - I had seen Musgraves live in 2014, I had heard “High Horse,” but what was SO special about her? It was only in taking a chunk of my day to sit and listen to this album that I caught the bug that everyone else seemed to already have. In this album, Musgraves develops into so much more of an artist than she has been in the past. She shifts from cookie-cutter radio country to a wonderfully sweet combination of cotton-candy pop and heartfelt Americana guitar riffs. Her message is positive, her lyrics are honest, and her sound is touching. I was most convinced by “Happy & Sad,” and I won’t deny that the song pulled tears out of my eyes. She conveys youthful happy energy while simultaneously acknowledging the uncertainty of that happiness, and we all needed it (even if we didn’t know it.) Plus, “High Horse” is a bop, and that’s that on that.

13. BROCKHAMPTON, iridescence

After the expulsion of Ameer Vann from the group and the cancellation of a number of tour dates, many weren’t sure what to expect from Brockhampton in the coming weeks. The name of the upcoming album was changed, and presumably entirely new songs were recorded. Nevertheless, iridescence was received with intense anticipation from die-hard Brockhampton fans (myself among them.) The album fulfilled all hopes - with the first track, “NEW ORLEANS,” launching into an aggressive and high-energy beat, I couldn’t help but smile. Brockhampton did it yet again. The transitions between songs are seamless, and every song lends to the theatrics that they love to pull onstage. Much of the record feels like a high-speed formula one race, but the emotional “SAN MARCOS” pulls listeners into another dimension entirely. Hearing this song performed live was one of the more powerful moments of any concert I’ve ever seen - the outro was made to be passionately sung by a crowd, and it so was. And “TONYA” - wow. I could go on forever about this album.

14. Boygenius, boygenius

The cover art for this record is simple, and that simplicity shines through in its tracks. The collaboration of Julien Baker, Phoebe Bridgers, and Lucy Dacus in this project is pure magic. The music is calm, melodic, and easy to become entranced by. Their voices could lull me to sleep any day, and every song feels like it could play during the part of a movie when the protagonist stares out a car window in deep thought. Each song builds to an emotionally charged climax in exactly the tortured way that a listener would expect from these three artists. At this point, I’d be deeply sad if these three didn’t continue making music as a group. They are a gift.

Must watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OS48Lp34Zic

15. Kali Uchis, Isolation

Kali Uchis blooms in a real way in Isolation. Busting at the seams with sexy confidence, her psychedelic-funky R&B traversal of genres on this record is just perfect. Her uniquely smooth voice pulled over left-of-center beats lends itself to an album full of hits. “After the Storm” featuring Tyler the Creator gained quick popularity, and it is a good representative of the vibe that the rest of the album gives off. A laid back, sexual, happy piece of musical experimentation, Kali Uchis is here to play ball.

16. Cardi B, Invasion of Privacy

With Invasion of Privacy, Cardi B burst onto the popular rap scene with no regrets. Every song exudes her bad bitch energy and reclaims the rap music tropes typically employed exclusively by men. While an incredible ancestry of female rappers came before her, Cardi B has broken the musical glass ceiling in a big way. She is the first female rapper to reach number one on the Billboard top 200 in over 20 years, has the most Billboard top 100 entries of any female artist in history, and many more. She is a true ‘rags-to-riches’ success story, and she’s here to tell us all about it. I’m listening.

Must watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8LPVjHxXvJM

17. Ryan Beatty, Boy in Jeans

I just saw an article titled “Ryan Beatty writes really good pop songs about boys.” This was a quite simplistic summary of what’s going on here, but it’s not wrong. Despite his vocals on Brockhampton’s “Bleach” and his frequent collaboration with the popular group, Beatty didn’t break out individually in the music scene until now. He certainly did so with this album, and he did it well. His slightly left-of-center pop featuring a voice with the consistency of caramel is exactly what everyone wants to hear. It’s the perfect music for a scenic car ride, and I’m obsessed.

18. The Decemberists, I’ll Be Your Girl

I’ve been a fan of the Decemberists for a long time, and I saw them at the Greek Theatre in Berkeley on their last tour. I would see them again in a heartbeat, and I will never get over the passion that goes into Colin Meloy’s vocal presentation. With the high-energy promotion of this album, I was expecting typical Decemberists greatness. What I got was something entirely different - greatness, but nothing typical. This electronically-infused record exposed a new side of the Decemberists that I am refreshed to hear. The addition of synth and an Arcade Fire type vibe suits them and the sort of rebranding they desired to achieve. With this album, the Decemberists evolved in a way they never have, and I applaud them for it.

19. J. Cole, KOD

There are a number of people who love to hate on J. Cole, and I’ve never understood it. With this album in particular, J. Cole distinguished himself with both lyrics and production value. The album cover above depicts excessive drug use, and in fine print states “This album is in no way intended to glorify addiction.” This powerful message alone sets the stage for an album that means something. The subsequent subject matter of each of the record’s tracks follows this narrative - a description of being stuck in the ways of drug addiction. I have always appreciated J. Cole for his ability to tell a complete story through an album despite the lack of a chronological order or common plot in each song. The album shows the deterioration of a drug addict - from the high of “KOD” to the contemplative pain of “Once an Addict (Interlude).”

20. Kendrick Lamar, Black Panther the Album

Everything produced surrounding the Black Panther movie was a hit. The power of this movie and the contributors to this album is unparalleled. Aside from the clear message that this media sent, every song is phenomenal. “All the Stars” displays SZA’s ridiculous vocal prowess. “X” is the perfect hype song, displaying Kendrick’s sassy and innovative lyrical technique. In “The Ways,” Khalid’s sweet voice embodies the beauty of the powerful woman he describes. “I Am” by Jorja Smith absolutely knocks the album out of the park - this stunningly sexy track propelled her onto the music scene, and thank god it did. I’d listen forever if I could. I’d go on, but every song on this album is an iconic collaboration.

Must watch: the movie.

21. Houndmouth, Golden Age

This album is so painfully underrated. If you want a pick me up, listen to Golden Age. Immediately. From the album’s floaty start to the explosive mood of the album’s namesake track, it’s all hits and no misses. Embracing a completely different musical tone from their last album, Houndmouth seizes a futuristic alt-rock cacophony as their new style. Taking nods from 80s Phil Collins numbers (the beginning of Strange Love... come on!), they take us back to a golden age of sorts while also propelling us to a fun future. I will never not dance my pants off to this album.

#juliaisabellphoto #musicjournal #albumsoftheyear

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slothrusts · 7 years

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Hey @taylorswift ! Since you made a playlist for us, I thought I’d make one for you. Music is my life, I even study it at school, and my favorite thing about music is songwriting (which is probably why I love you so much). Lyrics are the most important part of a song to me, but soundscapes are also really rad. So here’s 19 songs that I adore, both lyrically and sonically, and hope that you will also like! @taylornation and fellow swifties feel free to listen in as well :)

Also, Taylor, look beneath the Read More for the track listing and me talking about each song like I know what I’m talking about lol

1.) Lit Me Up- Brand New

This is the best opening song of all opening songs. Brand New has created such an interesting soundscape and feel with the whole Science Fiction Album. It’s creepy, but great. Taylor I feel like you’d really enjoy some of the binaural action going on.

2.) Turn Out the Lights- Julien Baker @julienbaker

Julien Baker is one of THE BEST lyricists I have ever found (besides you of course Tay). Everything she writes is heart-wrenching and beautiful and I love it. I mean, come on “When I turn out the lights/there’s no one left/between myself and me” (lyk if u cri evrytim). This is a single from her forthcoming album by the same name and I highly recommend you listen to her debut Sprained Ankle cause damn is it good.

3.) Horseshoe Crab- Slothrust

This song is a trip man. Slothrust (its Sloth-rust not Slo-thrust fyi) is this cool little rock/jazz/blues band from Brooklyn that I ADORE. Leah writes some outlandish but still poignant af lyrics. Notably: “Sometimes I feel like I’m a sea horse/Sometimes I think that I’m a horseshoe crab/I don’t have anything in common with myself/Except that I came from the sea just like everyone else did”

4.) Ready to Go- Hurts @adam-hurts

Suggested activity while listening to this song is dancing because damn it’s a certifiable BOP.

5.) Queen- Flint Eastwood @flinteastwooddetroit

You’ve probably never seen these guys play live but Jax Anderson is a hype beast like no other and can get a crowd full of people who have never heard her music to sing and jump along like they’re the headliners. The chorus gets u going and I think that reputation era Taylor would appreciate “I’m a queen not a soldier”

6.) I Forgive No One- Citizen

While I’m not sure if this genre/sound is your thing Taylor, it does remind me a lot of the whole reputation era mindset. “I forgive no one for anything/I forgive no one for what can change”

7.) Moonshine- Lights @lightsalot

Another great bop about staying up late and partying. Also Lights wrote and drew an entire comic book series to go along with this concept album?? How fucking cool is that?? It reminds a bit of New Romantics in the attitude of “who gives a shit lets go party anyway!!”

8.) Sunshine Type- Turnover @turnoverva

Turnover is my go-to feel good band. This song actually sounds like the way sunshine feels. “I was thinking that you could love a song that I hate/I’d still play it for you”.

9.) Separate- Pvris @thisispvris

I’d imagine that swimming underneath an iceberg sounds like this song. Pvris (pronounced like Paris not p-virus or puh-vris) makes some super spooky but beautiful things. And can we talk about “There’s always been a disconnect/Running from my heart to my head/And no it’s never made much sense” as well as “Pull away the world from me I don’t mind/As long as they don’t separate you from me I’ll be fine”. It’s almost the opposite of Clean, but in a good way. This entire album has got some killer outros btw.

10.) Burn it Down- Daughter

Elena Tonra from Daughter is SUCH a GREAT lyricist. You, her, and Julien are probably the best lyricists that I know of honestly. Plus, her, Remi, and Igor as a band make some DOPE soundscapes that you can get actually physically lost in. “Always said I was a good kid/Always said I had a way with words/Never knew I could be speechless/Don’t know how I’ll ever break this curse”. They wrote this album for a video game soundtrack, but the one before this one Not to Disappear is lyrically so powerful I cry every time I see them live lol.

11.) Trainwreck- Banks

Banks is a bad ass bitch and I think you and her would get along swimmingly. Also perhaps invite her to sing this with you on the rep tour?? (hint hint wink wink) “Born to take care of you, or I thought so/Maybe it was just a phase” It’s like an updated more sonically banging Dear John imo

12.) Helicopter- Deerhunter

Back on the soundscape train Deerhunter just sounds cool as shit. The lyrics to this one are story-based and talk about some guy who was a victim of human trafficking. BUT Bradford Cox makes it sound cerebral and plucky.

13.) Deadcrush- alt-J

I love this song cause it has the coolest premise. It’s about the Dead Crushes of the band members. So like, dead people that the band members admire. The crushes are Anne Boleyn and Lee Miller. I particularly enjoy the music video for this song which is weird as all hell. The pulsing beat that drives this song is something that I think you would appreciate, Taylor. This is one of the songs where it feels more like the words are meant to be a part of a music rather than their own separate piece if that makes sense.

14.) SGL- Now, Now @nownowband

SGL stands for “Shot Gun Lover” and holy heck does this lyrically resemble some of your stuff! Sign me the fuck up for “Starry-eyed/I was young and undone/But I could’ve died/With you there in the sun”. I’ve been listening to this band for almost as long as I’ve listened to you but they recently got a more pop sound and I am LIVING for it

15.) Lose Myself- From Indian Lakes @fromindianlakes

I saw on your playlist that you like Cigarettes After Sex and so I thought you might also enjoy the recent stuff by From Indian Lakes. This is the kind of song you listen to when driving home from a date. Ponder closely, “Am I the worm on a lover’s hook/And now I’m right where I’m supposed to be/But something still feels wrong with me”

16.) You and I (stripped version)- Pvris

Pvris gets to be on here twice cause they are that good sorry but I don’t make the rules (wait yes I do). The lyrics here also remind me of you and how we all just have way too many feelings and our best shot at figuring things out is through writing about them. You and I is about a love that’s not working but that is still desperately wanted, “I know it’s cold when we’re apart/And I hate to feel this die/But you can’t give me what I want/Just give it time”. Listen to this stripped version to hear how beautiful and lilting Lynn’s voice is and listen to the full band version to hear how much of a powerhouse her voice can be.

17.) Jesus Christ- Brand New

Yes another Brand New song. You know why? Cause they are also fucking amazing. Taylor, I recommend you listen to this song while lying in your bed staring up at the ceiling and thinking “How the hell did I get here, and how the hell am I gonna leave?” (here can be anywhere, your hotel room, you home, this universe). The next time you read a shitty headline about you in a tabloid think about the lyrics, “We all got wood and nails/And we turn out hate in factories/We all got wood and nails/And we sleep inside of this machine”

18.) Townie- Mitski @whoismitski

“I want a love that falls as fast as a body from the balcony/And I want a kiss like my heart is hitting the ground/I’m holding my breath with a baseball bat though I don’t know what I’m waiting for/I’m not gonna be who my daddy wants me to be”…… do I need to say anything else? Hopefully you’ve already heard some of Mitski’s stuff cause she’s gonna be on tour with your homegirl @lordemusic this next spring!

19.) Pigpen- Slothrust

Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night with the post-chorus riff from this song in my head. Taylor, the lyrics I’d want you to hear the most from this one are; “I would spread my wings/If they weren’t so god damn heavy/Yeah I would spread my wings/If they weren’t coated in honey”

And that’s everyone!! I hope you liked at least one of these songs @taylorswift . Love you eternally and catch you on the flipside!!!

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standuphippy · 4 years

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February Favorites

Every December I have a ritual. First, I try to compile a list of records, movies, and shows I’ve enjoyed the year. I wait until the last minute and then struggle to get it posted before the first of the year. I dump something half-assed on New Year’s Eve, then sit back and cluck my tongue at anyone who posts a “Best of the Year” list after Jan. 1.

I always resolve to do something sooner (and better) so this is a first step in that direction. The world has changed since I started this, but fuck it, here’s what I enjoyed in February. Here’s a link to a playlist for the music: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7ucvCNnCuT4ZZVCyz2ddKM

NEW MUSIC:  

Agnes Obel “Myopia”   Her fourth record of fine orchestral pop.    Arbor Labor Union “New Petal Instants” Four years ago I went to see them at the Bootleg and I’m pretty sure I was the only person in the audience who wasn’t in one of the opening bands. It was a great show. Southern fried guitars. I like Bo Orr’s yelp.

Califone “Echo Mine” Happy to finally get a new Califone record, though it’s a companion work to a dance piece and some tracks leave me wondering what I’m looking at. There are some great songs that anchor it as a whole. I love the sound of Tim Rutilli’s voice and guitar, and I think he’s a master of weaving abstract lyrics and melody in a way that makes his phrases land emotionally true.

Cold Beat “Mother” Synth pop that has the hooks.

Eyelids ”The Accidental Falls” Three years ago I visited a friend in Minneapolis. Woke up and made coffee and he put the “Or” record on the turntable, and Oh! that riff in “Slow it Goes”… a pretty great intro to this band. They’ve really put in a lot of work with collaborators recently, including an EP with John Cameron Mitchell. “The Accidental Falls” has lyrics furnished by poet Larry Beckett. (Related recommendation: Eyelids “Or”)

Frances Quinlan “Insight”   Hop Along started out as Frances Quinlan’s home recording project, then grew into a band so successful that she has to qualify her new record as a solo album. The distinction makes sense when you hear it, though, it’s pretty stripped down. I love her voice. (Related recommendation: Hop Along “Painted Shut”)

Greg Dulli “Random Desire”  The Afghan Whigs are one of my all-time favorite bands. On his first “official” solo record, Dulli sounds energized and tries some interesting vocal tricks.  (Related recommendation: The Afghan Whigs “Gentlemen” and “Black Love”)

Grimes “Miss Anthropocene” I like this record.

Heart Bones “Hot Dish” Sabrina Ellis and Har Mar Superstar are two of the best performers out there. They got together a few years go and toured playing songs from the Dirty Dancing Soundtrack; now they’ve got their first full length and it’s just as catchy and funny as I’d hoped.

The Innocence Mission “See You Tomorrow”  I loved their first self-titled record back in 1989 and I’ll check out anything they release. Their arrangements are pretty spare these days but Karen Peris’ voice has always been the draw.  (Related recommendation: The Innocence Mission “The Innocence Mission”)

The Men “Mercy”  Over their career they’ve gone in a lot of musical directions and made several outstanding records. They’re incredible live but they haven’t been to Los Angeles in years. (Related recommendations: The Men “Open Your Heart” and “Tomorrow Hits”)

POLIÇA “When We Stay Alive”  This may be their best record yet. 

Sarah Harmer “Are You Gone”  Sarah Harmer played at Spaceland (now Satellite) in support of her excellent record “Oh Little Fire.” I’d had a long week and skipped it; I’ve had to wait ten fucking years for a follow up record and tour. If Kathleen Edwards is the Zoë Records version of Lucinda Williams, Sarah Harmer is the label’s version of Shawn Colvin.

Soccer Mommy “color theory”  Haven’t been much of a Soccer Mommy fan in the past but this record is one of my favorite records so far this year. Ride the mid-tempo wave.

Squirrel Flower “I Was Born Swimming” Could easily sit on the shelf between Mitski and TORRES. It’s a great debut.

TORRES “Silver Tongue”  I happened upon Pitchfork’s review of her debut back in 2012 and have been a fan ever since. Her debut is a classic to me. She signed to 4AD, put out two ambitious records and then got dropped. Now she’s on Merge and produced “Silver Tongue” herself. I think it’s her best since her debut. She’s fire live. (Related recommendation: TORRES “TORRES”)

OLD MUSIC (record store finds and new discoveries):

Dry Cleaning “Sweet Princess EP/ Boundary Food and Drink EP”  I was listening to Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs in anticipation of their show here and when the record was over, Spotify played a Dry Cleaning track and I loved it. Both of these EPs are great, filled with spiky guitars and dry, spoken lyrics about the numb horror of modern life.

Guided By Voices “Live From Austin TX”  Found this one at Soundsations. Double vinyl, recorded in 2004 before a hiatus. Sounds good. Lots of “Bee Thousand/ Alien Lanes” classics alongside tracks from “Half-Smiles of the Decomposed,” the record they were touring at the time.

Rosie Thomas “With Love”  I liked Rosie Thomas’ Sub Pop releases, I didn’t know about this one but I found it at Amoeba. Happy to find out about it, it’s one of her best.

NEW MOVIES (theatrical): 

Emma.  It’s fun and it’s gorgeous. Every frame of the film is carefully considered and it shows. The performances are excellent and when the sparks start to fly it’s a thrill. 

Beanpole  It’s soul-crushing and gorgeous. The characters struggle to put their lives together in postwar Leningrad and find that any act of kindness or mercy can be manipulated or subverted. It’s not a cruel film, but it can be hard to watch. I’ve thought about it quite a bit since I watched it: about what writer/director Kantemi Balegov showed onscreen versus what he didn’t, how the characters’ histories are revealed, and about the performances that brought them to life. The film stayed with me, which is one of the highest compliments I can give. The trailer is a fine piece of work in and of itself.

OLD MOVIES:

  Ad Astra  I don’t know how this got made and that’s not a slight but a registration of genuine bewilderment. The film is a juxtaposition of emotional emptiness and the void of the universe. An internal character study wrapped in first-rate sci-fi set pieces. I marveled at it on an XD screen last year and recently watched it with my wife. If anything, I wish it had leaned even harder into its art house impulses and cut the voice-over narration in half.   Doctor Sleep (Theatrical)  I tried to see this in the theater but I couldn’t make it happen. It wasn’t that my wife gave birth a week previous or that the film got middling aggregate reviews, as either of those factors by themselves would not have dissuaded me. I simply couldn’t get past the fact that I’d already wasted two and a half hours in the execrable mire that was IT: Part II two months beforehand and the experience left me gun-shy. Wish I’d checked it out on the big screen, looking forward to diving into the Director’s Cut.

The Gold Rush (1942 Version) I’d never seen this version of the Charlie Chaplin classic: it runs a few minutes shorter than the original and has voice-over narration. Started watching it with my daughter while we were home sick and realized that the sight of Big Jim, especially in a jittery frame rate, is pretty unsettling to a six year old.

Hacksaw Ridge Mel Gibson gets away with a lot of things, as a director it’s graphic violence. Andrew Garfield plays a conscientious objector who joins the army to be a medic and refuses to touch a weapon. The second half of the film is grueling but the WWII combat looks incredible.   House by the Cemetery  Your enjoyment of this movie will depend on your love for Italian horror cinema and all of its idiosyncrasies. The value is in the modes of death and the sound design. House by the Cemetery is not a great movie, but I love the scene where Bob is trying to get out of the basement. For a split second I felt genuine panic, as I realized that Fulci might be willing to take the events of the film further than I was willing to follow them.

Old Joy  I saw Old Joy when it was originally released and I loved it. Two old friends at different turning points in their lives go on a camping trip. Kelly Reichardt’s made a lot of great films since then, but Old Joy has a special place in my heart because when I saw it I had just entered my 30’s and still had friends like Kurt.  

BOOKS:

Ad Nauseam by Michael Gingold It’s a collection of vintage newspaper ads for horror films from the 80’s. Reading it brought back a lot of memories. I admire the effort of saving these for so many years.

The Guardians by Sarah Manguso   I picked up 300 Arguments a few years ago after the AV Club recommended it and read it on a flight to Chicago. It’s made up of 300 short passages, some only a sentence long. I admired the precision and thoughtfulness of those focused lines.

I sought out some of her other work and found her very relatable, in part because we’re the same age, suffered from similar medical conditions, and spent time in Iowa City. I’ve read Ongoingness: The End of a Diary, and The Two Kinds of Decay.

The Guardians is a memoir about her close friend, written following his suicide by train.

Reading her books creates this expansive image of Manguso as a person, in that some of the events of the three books overlap. I realized that her reflections in The Guardians were those of the person who had also overcome the prolonged health issues described in The Two Kinds of Decay, and was writing about all of it in the diaries described in Ongoingness: The End of a Diary. They are all great reads. I’d start with 300 Arguments.

SHOWS:

Imperial Teen Zebulon 02/28/20 When I see Imperial Teen I think about all the other times that I’ve seen Imperial Teen. I think about all of those times in my life and the different highs and lows that the band has been through. All the different times that they seemed poised for great success that never materialized. Despite those disappointments, they still put out a record every few years and occasionally play a few shows. They have a deep catalog of excellent pop songs. It’s as great a pleasure to see them today as it was twenty years ago.   Califone The Hi Hat 02/29/20 I love Red Red Meat but I’ve never seen a great show by them. I like Califone and I’ve seen some good shows, but the last one I caught (2017) turned out to be a Tim Rutilli solo show and that’s not what I wanted. The show at The Hi Hat was the best Califone show I’ve ever seen. They sounded excellent and Rutilli seemed enthusiastic. He kept thanking the audience for coming out on a Monday night (it was Saturday.) The set stretched close to two hours with no encore.

#favorites #February 2020

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readfelice-blog · 6 years

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moominland chronicles fünfzehn: felice vs the german health care system

Hello you,

It’s 4am on Friday morning, I’m lying in bed with one of my 3 flowered ikea lamps burning away, holding my cuddly pig tight to my chest whilst I tap out this blog on my iphone, balanced on a pillow.

I cant sleep.

I’m going to get a taxi to hospital in 5 hours.

Before we start all that please administer any of the below music to yourself as an accompaniment, I’ve been dipping my toes into the clear water of pop shoals this week, I might be the last person to have listened to blond (an article in vice insisted upon me lining it up on my google play - still no cd player, I know):

Frank ocean

Nikes (song, always a fan of a big opener on an album)

https://vimeo.com/179791907?ref=em-share

Blond (album, yes you've probably heard it already)

https://www.discogs.com/Frank-Ocean-Blond/master/1046042

I'm also late on the train for Mitski I’m sure, but the words, restrain in her voice and divergent harmonies (discordant, is that better?) are searing through me, might listen again in the hospital tomorrow.

Though perhaps as she grows older she wont long for that kiss quite as much as she does now, because prince charming will never save her really (though she does acknowledge that from time to time on this album)

Mitski

A horse named cold air (song)

https://youtu.be/ce3m-o1pZqY

Be the cowboy (Album)

https://mitski.bandcamp.com/album/be-the-cowboy

And just this one song, which kind of speaks frankly from my heart a little, or at least I sympathise with, though in a fuller sense my situation is very different and it’s only my little brain that identifies with the lyrics.

SZA: the weekend

https://youtu.be/PALMMqZLAQk

So then.. youre suited and booted musically, lets press on shall we? After all I mentioned hospital, it would be cruel just to taper off now.

Heres my small brain again:

Fuck the fucking german health system, fuck all those uptight bigoted cunts that put the phone down on me this week, fuck my insurance for charging me since july and slyly adding it to my bill, fuck the man at the tk queue yesterday who aggressively shouted at me for talking on the phone with my sister, about my illness, at the first opportunity that day after a very strange experience with the gynaecologist.

Ok,

I’m breathing, my small brain is retracting, lets continue a bit less aggressively now.

Health health health, we’re jumping back on the theme from last week, because sometimes illness doesn't go away, and as this blog is my warts and all document of the weird happenings of my life, I am going to be very very open about whats happening to me this week.

So I’m bleeding, like all pre menopausal women do who dont take contraception that inhibits it, thats what was happening in Paris, thats what has been happening for 3 weeks.

I’ve been bleeding for 3 weeks, yes.

I had really bad period pains last time round, which is unusual for me these days, I took buscopan plus, i soldiered on, then it stopped for a week, then it returned, light some days, heavier seemingly at the weekends. I pigheadedly pushed through physically exhausting weeks of cleaning, travelling, working, I’m a freelance cleaner, I don't get sick pay or holiday pay, I have to work or I can't pay rent.

I wrote a blog about it last weekend. But that was just before the blood clots starting coming, when the first one fell out it plopped in the toilet, I was so shocked I fished it out and curiously studied it (warts and all, I’m sick of skirting the weirdness in my life: its there: get used to it). I thought it was a dead baby, it was monstrous and displayed a horrid kind of plasticity as it eerily shifted round the jar in my hand I was gently coercing. It was an alien, more like rosemary's baby than my cherub cheeked nephew.

That was MONDAY.

I thought, ok the babies fallen out, now it’ll surely stop.

On sunday the bear got in touch, he'd been trying to phone, he was annoyed he couldn't get in contact, he was horny. I told him I was still bleeding, he insisted I go to the doctors, in his very forthright way, he sent me money to go even: because i was clueless about my insurance at that point. I knew i’d been getting letters I couldn't read from tk (die teckniker, german health insurance provider) for months, since I stopped working at the hostel, but I’d just carefully ignored them.

I didn't have the money to pay for health insurance.

I botched my first attempt to see a gynaecologist, I made an appointment online but the transfer the bear made was not in my bank so he asked me to phone them and check payment methods. When I did the receptionist point blank refused to speak English to me, my quandary was simply, “Do I need cash today?” But she was haughty and unsympathetic, another colleague took the phone, who even through garbled understanding felt kinder but it soon transpired that my appointment was for November 1st not October 1st.

“Im very ill i dont think I can wait that long.”

I phoned Meoclinic to be told by a woman with razors in her voice who suddenly became sickeningly sweet after she’d told me it was €400 just to see someone. I felt like the pleasure she was deriving from me tripping over my words and despairingly saying that was to much money for me, was enough for her to take home and masturbate over later, in her silky agent provocateur corset, on silk sheets, with a flute of champagne on the bedside table.

I gave up for the day and decided that tomorrow I’d go to the doctors I went to for my sti test a few months ago, they were very nice. They spoke english, they had open appointments the next day at 18h.

TUESDAY

More clots started coming, big, gloopy, just pouring out of me, they were announced by a tirade of blood, I was soaking through organic pads at an alarming rate.

So that wasn't the baby on Monday then.

I went to clean first, I cant afford to not clean for reasons stated above, at an office where the woman who employs me talks to me through gritted teeth as if our every interaction is painful to her.

Lowly pauper girl, know your place.

Anyway due to logistical issues she had probably not envisaged, I didn't do the whole job and left early. I walked out on to the money lined streets of Uhlandstrasse, Cara Delevine’s svelte androgynous eyes staring out at me from various glass paned monoliths, and sat on a moth eaten bench, very upset from the shift, feeling utterly worthless, responsible and at fault, bleeding.

Then I had a cigarette, collected myself and went to tk: Round 1.

I waited, gushing out blood, in line for 25 minutes to see the receptionist, then a further 10/15 to see the sales girl. I dont have to pay them straight away but when november comes I will have to pay them 720+€ , plus from then on 180€ a month, from an average wage of 800€.

In retrospect I was probably fully within my right to protest starting the contract from July 1st, but I was so grateful for someone health related to be talking to me in English and perhaps it will stand in my favour now the hospital bills will be tallying up.

I left with no card or proof of insurance.

I went home, lay down, then showered, laced my trainers and went back into the world depleted, to Mehringdam to see the emergency doctors, it was raining heavily outside.

They were different this time, I had no proof of insurance but I had the bears money so I was paying cash, I waited dutifully and wrote in my diary.

It was a different female doctor, a more boxy and less vital woman than the previous medic I’d met at the same clinic. About halfway into my bloody tale of woe she stopped me panic stricken.

“You know this is a doctors surgery, you have to go to a gynaecologist.”

“Ok, so you cant help me.” - i start putting my coat back on.

A pause.

“Can you at least refer me to one? I’ve had a hard time trying to find a gynaecologist, I can't really speak German, people have been very rude to me so far, I came back here because I remember people were kind and tried to help me, even though I wasn't sure it was the right place.”

We go out to reception where I stand in front of 2 receptionists who speak in German and totally ignore me, the doctor hands me some measly bits of paper with contact details printed on them and hurries away. Shaken from my bloody tale of woe I imagine she just sits in her office for 10 minutes alone obsessively sterilising her hands and shuddering.

I continue to look at the 2 women in front of me who carry on as if I am invisible for a further 5 minutes, I tell them I’m going to the toilet and then coming back, they brush me off. More blood pours out of me. I return and finally they allow me to pay them, I plod back out into the rain and miserably wait for a bus, head home via the shops and climb back into bed.

WEDNESDAY

Is a national holiday, so I can't sort anything, my client offers me the day off, I take it. I make 9 drawings for my project, bounce the rough edit of the album I’m working on, pull myself to the dance studio I’ve started to rent to practise my live show. Have a long overdue singsong, though I can't really dance i can still sing.

Sunday edit: I’ve since missed 2 bookings at the studio because of this infernal bleeding, hope I can go back soon, it was utterly riveting to finally find a place I could sing as loudly as I wanted.

It's a glorious day even though blood still rains, I’m not cleaning, I’m doing what i really want to do.

THURSDAY

I need to be at my clients early, but I go via the apotheke on the way, there a pharmacist advises me on the best way to take iron and vitamin supplements, sells me ibuprofen and alerts me to the gynaecologist upstairs, but she’s only open till 13h, my job is supposed to finish at that time.

I hum and haa as I hobble to my clients and when I get there decide to finish the job early and see if I can get an appointment.

On the way into the building there's a system of doors, I enter alongside an elderly gentleman with a walking stick and we have quite the time not understanding each other, me holding doors for him, him very jovially propping them open with his stick. I have no idea what’s being said but something tender and wonderful is occurring between us that puts a lightness back in my step.

This reception is slick and clean, the receptionist is neat and elegant. But the doctor isn’t there. They wouldn’t accept my tk insurance anyway, they’re going on holiday till November.

Ok,

I leave and just flop down on the street outside, I’m supposed to be doing a double clean today but I have a 2 hour window before my next job, which is only a 15 minute walk away. I’m getting closer to seeing someone. Still crouched down on the street, still bleeding, I dig out the contacts handed to me, one is for a doctors I’ve called before. I call 2 numbers from the 4 sheets I have, both go through to hard voiced women who utterly refuse to attempt to speak English to me and relish the goodbyes they bestow before they coldly put the phone down. To the second one I say in English:

“I’m really sick, but if I don’t speak German I am just going to continue to be sick, is that what you’re telling me?”

I found a list on google, theres a male gynaecologist just up the road, a man rummaging in my lady bits is a bit disconcerting but truly I’m beyond pride now.

This reception is more modest, I place my cleaning bucket on the floor and then just start with

“I’m losing a lot of blood, can you please help me.”

He’s in.

These receptionists are gorgeous humans, they speak to me in broken English, they’re shocked I’ve been bleeding for 3 weeks, yes he will see me, please take a seat.

He’s a big warm man with no sexual energy, I tell him everything, I feel so grateful just to be able to see him that I’m bowing as I say thank you. I get sent to a little room, remove my trousers and knickers, get let into another room, climb on the chair, he inserts the spy camera dildo (ultrasound) device inside me, then on the screen we look at a ball like thing inside my womb.

Hes glowing when he tells me its probably a very early pregnancy, he’s so excited, though it’ll most likely be a miscarriage, but he paints a future where my little fetus determinedly survives the bloodletting and in 9 months time arrives in my life.

I cover everything in blood, which freaks him out.

“You’re really bleeding a lot.”

He gives me the ultrasound photo, then after some confusion I go to the nurses and deposit a urine sample on the counter of another room.

“Thank you so much for seeing me.”

“Of course: you have been bleeding for 3 weeks.”

As I wait in the reception for the test results a new future, inconceivable before this point, rolls out before me, where I have the baby and take the government stipend to look after it as a single mother, I thought I didn’t want kids but something seems so precious about this vision. It’ll just be me and my little ball of love, together in some warm cosy flat in Prenzlauer Berg, surrounded by all the other Berlin mothers.

The test is negative, a jolt of dismay passes through me, the vision is shattered, I have to go to the hospital he says. They give me the bill, without proof of insurance I pay in cash, thanking the bear silently. He also tells me to go to my insurance and get a letter, because the hospital will really cost a lot.

So I go home, breathe and collect myself, go back out. Spend over an hour wandering around looking for a photo kiosk for my insurance card (not blind> I’m using google maps to try locate one), finally I find it nestled into a dark part of the s bahn station, it costs double what the machine costs but I just eat the charge, earlier I’d spend 30 minutes wandering around the crossroads outside Leopaldplatz: the fotofix on the map was apparently invisible, I need a picture. I then wait for another 30 minutes to have my photo taken.

When I get to the u bahn where tk is there is a fotofix booth right there, to my left as I walk out of the station, I really hold myself back from screaming and kicking over all the chairs arranged outside the cafe before me. I finally manage to call my sister and it's a glorious funny loving chat, cut short by the aforementioned man in the tk queue.

I tell him in english which he insists he doesn't understand, that I am having the day from hell and that was the first time I’ve managed to speak to that person, he abuses me again in German but then stands very far away from me, the shame weaving around him, I curse him, but its a little thing, just that I hope he gets eaten by spider babies.

Don’t take yourself too seriously.

I retrieve my letter from the receptionist, the same sales woman I spoke to on Tuesday who doesn’t recognise me at all.

It’s getting late in the day, I call back my sister and head to Charite Campus Mitte, as I get there it dawns on me this is where I was an extra on an art video shoot around 3 weeks ago.

There is no discernable entrance, it seems mostly deserted. I travel up in a lift towards the gynakolgie department, but when I exit the skybent box that is my vehicle there is no clear signage towards it, just a door to an emergency exit staircase, wind billowing behind it, with a note in fluoro yellow fixed on its metallic facade and a bridge / corridor leading to empty waiting rooms.

I give up, decide I’ll go to the address given to me by the doctors tomorrow. I’ll go home and sleep now.

Home, I eat then I crash, I get into bed at 19h, I’m still here its now 6am and I’ll try sleep a bit more before I get a taxi at 9am.

I’m scared

It’s like some sick version of the night before christmas, black humour and absurdity have been welcome companions but armour fades in bed, so writing this in the knowledge I will share it with the online community has been the only thing I can do to douse the fear.

I’ll probably have to beg receptionists later but I just hope I get to someone who can start to mend me, because the blood is still coming, for the first time since it started it stained my sheets last night but I’ve wiped them down a little.

Sunday edit: the sheets are now in the wash.

Saturday edit: they did see me, I’m having an operation on monday at 9:30, the saga continues because I have to rush back to the gynaecologists first on monday to get a note so I can be operated on : as by the time I got out of hospital on friday the gynaecologists surgery was closed and nothing is open on the weekends.

And on the anaesthetists form where it asked me who would be collecting me or looking after me for 24 hours after the procedure I stubbornly wrote noone. Though my mentor will be around as I swallowed my pride and asked her.

And, of course, I just expect more bullshit: that was my dads very astute advice:

“Expect more bullshit Felice.”

So then, yes I should speak German, yes I should of sorted my insurance, yes I’ve been irresponsible.

Saturday edit: I’ve been utterly irresponsible and disrespectful to the country I live in, I MUST learn German and make more of an effort to learn their culture, right now I’m truly an idiot abroad.

I might cancel all my jobs next week as well if I’m really sick, I might not be able to go to Krakow and watch Eartheater,

Saturday edit: All my jobs are cancelled, one of the days next week is my birthday, which I’d scheduled a double clean on so perhaps it’s not all bad.

But I’m not going to see Eartheater, if you’ve heard irisiri though ( LISTEN TO IT, I IMPLORE YOU, MORE THAN ONCE, on the first listen it’s quite harsh: https://alexdrewchin.bandcamp.com/releases) then you’ll immediately understand that not going to her show because I’m having my uterus forcibly wedged open and something cut out of it, is utterly appropriate, it’s like missing formula one because you got hit by a ferrari.

I hope I’ll be better by turin.

Saturday edit: very much.

I will still finish this project whatever happens.

Saturday edit: Now I have a week off it should help.

But I’m not 100% sure how I will make ends meet this month.

Saturday edit: Perhaps the polyp they cut out of me on monday is really an alien and I get paid hush money not to leak the story to the press.

I really miss the nhs, its a big soft Pugsy bear I just want to hug and hold and thank for everything it’s done for me over the years.

The german health system is an amalgamation of all these callous female receptionists, ignoring you and filing their niles whilst you just bleed out in front of them.

But still, I’m stubborn, its a test and i will overcome it whatever it is. I am not leaving berlin, I am standing taller, stronger and more powerful than before. I’ve experienced completely new angles and feelings this week, it’s been abhorrent but kind of sickly enjoyable as well. Life is always entertaining as it energetically throws its bounty of strangeness, cruelty and beauty (etc) at you.

It’s all good fun, even the dark days.

I’m going to try get a bit of shut eye now, might move my alarm back a little see if I can get 2 hours before i wake up to get a taxi.

Take care everyone, if you made it to the end then I guess thank you for reading as well, it’s a long fraught one this week eh?

#die teckniker #german healthcare #idiot abroad #self growth

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recommendedlisten · 6 years

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The summer of 2018 left us with more than enough great music to absorb than any other quarter so far this year, and if you managed to get through everything Recommended Listen has been big upping in its formal reviews alongside that extra helping of seasonal offerings, congratulations: You must be a music consumption machine. Now that we’re heading into autumn, it’s not surprising to see a the usual calendar of big name releases from all levels of the music adding up be as much of a beast as last year's, and the past few months have been filled with some mighty listens as well. This site doesn’t always have an opportunity to appraise every album upon original release (especially in a banner year for rap, hip-hop and heavy music.) Here’s 15 albums to spice up your rotation if the season's other basic flavor options aren't cutting it...

BROCKHAMPTON - Iridescence [Question Everything / RCA Records]

BROCKHAMPTON straight up hustled their way to a record deal with RCA by releasing three albums in 2017 on their own with nothing but a master class in connecting with a wider audience through their social media platform. The Internet-born, self-professed American boy band has been one of hip-hop’s most exciting success stories probably since Odd Future broke, but what’s always been different about this collective of voices is that there isn’t just one or two who stand out. United they stand, even if Kevin Abstract is hailed as their de facto leader, and on Iridescence, BROCKHAMPTON make the most out of all of their moving parts for a spectacularly over-saturated major label debut where each of their visions shine. It’s a fete for the mere fact that they recorded the album in London on the quick after shelving a previous version featuring original member Ameer Vann, dismissed after allegations of sexual abuse surfaced, but brevity in ideas have never a problem for the crew. At any given moment, they can go hard on skittering noise-rap beats, neon bangers, and then turn the lights into soft introspective emo R&B reflection. Those are usually the moments where the tongue-in-cheek “boy label” sticks the most, but if anyhting, Iridescence is proof that BROCKHAMPTON is on the move up.

Doe - Grow Into It [Big Scary Monster / Topshelf Records]

Indie rock is in safe hands these days, as recent breakouts and career bests from rising stars Forth Wanderers, Lucy Dacus, Mitski, Sidney Gish, Snail Mail, and Soccer Mommy have all confirmed this year. Doe, a three-piece of London guitar rockers mastering the art of the crank and the hook with their sophomore effort Grow Into It, aren’t a band who’ve gained enough mention in that same conversation, but very well should be after this. Their latest album’s title can very well be taken quite literally, as it marks a spurt in creative refinement since the release of 2016′s debut Some Things Last Longer Than You, with the trio making a concentrated effort to take their chunky pop riffs to the next level of sing-a-long status while intertwining the occasional sea-sawing melody shift. Not to be lost in the rip-roaring is lead singer Nicola Leel’s songwriting, sung by the whip of her Scottish tongue. She embraces getting older, boring parts and all, instead of running away from it -- The wonder being that in their latest life stage, Doe sound more interesting than they let on.

Emma Ruth Rundle - On Dark Horses [Sargent House]

Every autumn equinox deserves a spellbinding soundtrack into the season, and Emma Ruth Rundle’s On Dark Horses, her fourth solo effort, rings in these dying days of daylight with a grandeur that makes the darkness altogether inviting. On this outing, the Louisville-based doom-folk songwriter has found a balance between controlling loud and soft dynamics that have ripped through her work in the past by gripping its catharsis despite an uncertain atmospheres. It’s without question her most carefully-constructed listen to date thanks to its sprawling guitars, morose pianos, and an intermittent crashing of cymbals through the air that mediate fear of the future with a blind courage to forget forward. The skies may continue to darken, yet Emma Ruth Rundle pulls as much light into her world to survive off of hope at least for another day.

Eric Church - Desperate Man [EMI Nashville]

Eric Church has endured a lot of heaviness in his heart over the course of the past year, metaphorically and quite literally. One year ago, just a day after performing at a country music festival in Las Vegas, a gunman open fire on the open air crowd, killing dozens in one of the worst shootings in U.S. history, There was also the revelation that during his two-sets-a-night Holding My Own tour, he found himself rushed off into emergency surgery after being diagnosed with a life-threatening blood clot in his chest, due in part to the wear and tear being a road reveler put on his body. The struggle to understand and survive in this life is old hat in the country rocker’s lyrics, but never have they hit so close to home. Desperate Man, his sixth studio effort, puts into perspective those experiences through the grit-covered filter of a broken American dream. Recorded alongside his perpetual right hand Jay Joyce, the LP is a return to the self-proclaimed Nashville outsider’s early roots in earnest songwriting (”Monsters”), the smoke-stained, blues halls of recent (”Heart Like a Wheel”), and his undying last-rock-star-standing status (”Drowning Man”.) For a Desperate Man, Church endures with tenacity.

House of Feelings - New Lows [Joyful Noise Recordings]

It started as a radio show spinning some of the weirdest underground dance music in NYC and beyond from decades ago to today, led to a dance night, and now, is a living breathing music collective of friends from all corners of sound, merging their talents to build an unbreakable House of Feelings on their debut full-length New Lows. Spearheaded by multi-faceted songwriter Matty Fasano, YVETTE drummer and producer Dale Eisinger, writer Joe Fassler, and a cast of HoF collaborators familiar and new such as Perfect Pussy’s Meredith Graves, Shamir and Denitia, the group steps back into reality on this effort after tripping out in a post-apocalyptic world with last year’s club banger Last Chance EP. The mediums through which they navigate are more daring -- made equally from blood-soaked dance shoes, sweat-soaked bass lines and brass, as well as synthetic materials -- as they explore the nuances in modern human connection. With enough hands on deck, House of Feelings not only make sense of a world spinning out of control, but do so in chic motion.

Jesus Piece - Only Self [Southern Lord]

2018 has been a banner year for a new wave of metalcore. Pittsburg thrashers Code Orange were nominated for a Grammy, Bostonian heavy-hitters-on-the-rise Vein had a breakout debut this summer which caught the ear of the Deftones, and now, Philly chaos makers Jesus Piece punctuate it all with multiple exclamation points on their first effort, Only Self. For the Philly five-piece, the album is a culmination of a lot of sweat and blood left in the underground hardcore scene, having been workhorses for years performing no-holds-barred live shows and hitting the gas pedal to the floor on several promising EPs and 7″ singles. Only Self bottles up their rage in one fell swoop and obliterates the world around it in a half hour of powerviolence, doom and D-beat-driven chaos where . Aaron Heard, who currently doubles as the bassist for shoegazing punks Nothing, is the eye of their storm, tearing down pillars of normcore and bowing down to no gods or masters. For Jesus Piece, they’ve become their own saviors in a world on fire.

Joey Purp - QUARTERTHING [Self-released]

Joey Purp gave us just a taste of his potential on his promising 2016 mixtape iiiDrops. It was there where we were introduced to the new wage Chi-town rap scene’s smooth-flowing M.C. skills -- A charismatic swagger that could easily go toe to toe with his SaveMoney Crew brethren Chance the Rapper, minus the hokeyness and plus a puffed out chest. QUARTERTHING is truly Purp’s breakout, though, as he bolsters up his persona with excising studio production courtesy of Knox Fortune and Thelonious Martin as well as features by the RZA, the GZA, Ravyn Lenae, and Queen Key that create a non-stop collection of club bangers styled by Chicago house tradition and a future beyond. It’s vibe is free-wheeling and excitable, yet it doesn’t hold back on delivering more of Joey Purp, the person, in the art, chronicling his escape from a bad ways lifestyle into a path of success that lights a torch for all those who follow him. From here on out, QUARTERTHING has blazed its own open trail.

Joyce Manor - Million Dollars to Kill Me [Epitaph Records]

By now, we know what Joyce Manor are capable of. The Torrance quartet have been cramming succinct pop-punk edibles into our ears since the start of the decade, spanning over four full-proof albums that have matured ever so slightly along the way in cleaner production, tighter hooks, and carefully picked sighs and screams by frontman Barry Johnson’s navel gazings and romanticism. 2016′s Cody really poured the polish on heavier, giving Joyce Manor a proper alternative makeover, but with their fifth full-length Million Dollars to Kill Me, it’s really the best of all versions of the band. Converge’s Kurt Ballou helmed studio duties on this go, and though his background as the go-to producer for metal and hardcore doesn’t necessitate a return to full-on basement dives by the band, you can hear how it came in handy in pulling the grit once more out of Johnson’s voice, and ensured any rockisms weren’t lost in their steady spurt into the new power-pop princes. Joyce Manor are growing up, and it’s not only showing in their matter-of-fact ruminations about online friends or selling out, but in how well they seem to know their strengths this time around.

Low - Double Negative [Sub Pop]

Slowcore innovators Low have evolved far beyond the patient wonder of their music in several different styles over their storied 25-year career as a band, but nothing in their catalog is anything like their latest studio effort, Double Negative. The listen answers the question of what may exist of the Duluth trio if you were to destroy in their sound all the natural beauty that has endured gracefully these last three decades, and attempts to reconstruct it by fragment, particle by particle. That’s done intentionally, as the band holds a shattered mirror up to the world and reflects it onto themselves, as LP 12 embraces their most abrasive properties fearlessly through instruments deconstructed and corruptly digitized into the vacuous production of. B.J. Burton, go-to producer at Bon Iver’s April Base home studio. The uncertainty in Alan Sparhawk and Mimi Parker vocals, while remaining tender, also surface anxieties felt by many humans amid the disarray. We don’t know what tomorrow brings, though Double Negative captures the present in all its brokenness flawlessly.

Marissa Nadler - For My Crimes [Sacred Bones Records]

Perhaps the reasons behind Marissa Nadler’s prolific nature over the decade-plus she has been recording music is a perpetual strive toward improving on her own perfections, because on her 8th studio effort For My Crimes, she has written a collection of songs so meticulous in their intimate songwriting, careful arrangements, and mood-making equally shrouded by haunting, sorrowful, and quietly rebuking texture that it settles as her latest creative peak in a career that will in all likeliness continue to build off its high points. Remarkably, Nadler’s music has never been embellished with much beyond a bare bones structure of an acoustic guitar, piano and strings, though its details in its storytelling -- both personal and riveting in fiction -- and supporting cast of producer Lawrence Rothman as well as vocal features from Angel Olsen, Kristin Kontrol, Mary Lattimore, and Sharon Van Etten, are what give the listen its warm body to seek refuge in as dark blue vapors and cold air move in around you this time of year.

Noname - Room 25 [Self-released]

Fatima Warner, b.n.a. Noname, has seen her star rise up within the same Chicago neo-rap scene as the aforementioned Joey Purp, as she has been a collaborator among its hometown heroes. Room 25 is the poetic rhymer’s own story, though, and unlike her peers�� serving bars that make the room bump, her’s is a graceful flow through in an almost stream of conscious way, making her sophomore effort a spiritual, mend between her musings and her music. Aided by the cosmic free-jazz and soulful R&B glow rendered by fellow Chi-town producer and instrumentalist Phoelix, Room 25 engages the room Noname inhabits with soft caresses that invite your attention warmly as she wades through her own personal trials, tribulations, and celebrations, be it the rise and fall of her own love life or much graver matters in big picture existentialism, give or take a humblebrag in the bedroom or studio. If you want to fall through the passage of time with memories set to a timeline, Noname’s got you covered.

PICTUREPLANE - DEGENERATE [Alien Body Music]

Travis Egedy is done with trying to appease anyone’s level of comfort, but you wouldn’t really know it by the slick fluorescence transmitted from his alien body into yours through his ongoing music vehicle as PICTUREPLANE. DEGENERATE can be seen as the epitaph of a decade-plus in arriving at this full realization, as it cohesively digitizes varying facets of darkness tailored for the club through one door. It glistens with textures produced by cold wave synths, emo-rap-witch house smoke and mirrors, and boundless electronic and industrial currents made for the misfits, heathens, and freaks of the underworld, and spoken directly to them by coloring the scene with uninhibited erotic exploration. DEGENERATE’s pronounced kinks are secondary to its auditory pleasures, however, and for that, it transcends niche, and does what his music always has done best: Capturing feelings from the darker recesses of the human experience, and turning them into a regenerative source of light and energy.

Thou - Magus [Sacred Bones Records]

Thou have given of themselves a lot to the world this year already. Throughout this summer, they released a string of EPs on different independent labels, and each one reinforcing the Baton Rouge doom slayers ability to push themselves onto the experimental edge. The House Primordial kept characteristically in the sludge of the swamps that bred them, where as Inconsolable reigned in their heaviness for a stripped afterlife before diving into the abyss of hardcore influences for Deathwish Inc. on Rhea Sylvia. No surprise that those were just warm ups capping off with the prolific four-piece’s fifth proper full-length Magus. It’s hands down one of metal’s most colossal listens of the year with over an hours worth of sprawling requiems for the human condition, though it doesn’t deter away from their genre-crossing ways that have pushed the scene and their politics beyond the realm of heaviness with greater purpose. Transcendental is one way of putting it, through the fire and the fury they soar.

Uniform - The Long Walk [Sacred Bones Records]

Uniform’s debut album Wake in Fright came out only a year ago, and its arrival (and title) couldn’t be any more fitting considering the nightmare landscape that American politics and our culture as a whole had spun into. The Brooklyn industrial noise band, then only consisting of vocalist Michael Bergan and NYC underground rock producer and guitarist Ben Greenberg, pulled us right down into the belly of chaos with heavy slabs o static feedback and ear-busting drilling that captured the terror of the times. Uniform’s sophomore follow-up The Long Walk offers no further comfort, but it does ponder a way out of the dark, existential despair, and in bolder form now that Guardian Alien / Liturgy drummer Greg Fox has been added to the fray, giving their sound a more human feel in its limbs contorting their way through the void. With that, the trio have gotten a grip on the world’s chaos, taking the fright, and turning it into their own demented playground where feeling the anxiety is all part of the experience of being alive.

Wild Pink - Yolk In the Fur [Tiny Engines]

Despite having cut their teeth in the Brooklyn indie scene these last several years, Wild Pink don’t sound so much like your standard guitar-chugging city dwellers on their breakout sophomore effort Yolk In the Fur. The trio of John Ross, TC Brownell and Dan Keegan have grown beyond the concrete jungle and ventured into an equally captivating impression here of ‘80s synth-bleeding, Americana-influenced rock that has made storytelling sentiment glimmer like a borealis in the way it has for the album’s kindrid spirit Tom Petty and more recently, the modern day journeys of the War On Drugs. Yolk In the Fur has its own handwriting to share, however, with Ross emoting existential philosophies while gazing through the monotony of the every day and millennial melancholia. It’s there where Wild Pink transcend beyond subways and human-saturated streets and into the vast fields, rivers and star-lit skies, their own version of escapism becoming seasonably contagious.

#lists #emma ruth rundle #house of feelings #jesus piece #joey purp #joyce manor #low #noname #thou #uniform #wild pink #pictureplane #marissa nadler #brockhampton #doe #eric church #features

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