#etc etc I’ve been playing this song on repeat all day now

[tragedykery]

BUY MY EXPENSIVE EXCLUSIVE PAIN WEAR MY FINE COUTURE IS YOUR BRANDED REPAYMENT I TEAR MY SOUL INTO TWO SO THAT YOU CAN P-P-P-PRETEND DESPAIR YEAH

#like a snakeskin l-l-l-like a snakeskin #etc etc I’ve been playing this song on repeat all day now #elli rambles #rina sawayama #musicposting

[inklore]

hi laur!! congrats on the milestone! i am a whole sucker for your Heavy Metal Love series rn so how about: “what is love to you?” with eddie from that series 🫡🫡

sorry suckers

pairing: eddie munson x rich!reader warnings: eighteen+ content, drug use (weed smoking). etc: you don’t have to read heavy metal love to fully grasp this but it is an added bonus because these two are amazing and i love them sm omg.

“What?” Eddie’s choking on laughter—or maybe it’s on the puff he just inhaled right as the question slipped out; through the haze of your high mind and from your lips like awkward word vomit.

The two of you are on the hood of his van, joint passing between you—the usual song and dance—the stars above shining brighter out here, the further you get from Hawkins, from Eddie’s trailer. Some beaten off path deep in the woods that you’re sure he only knows about no thanks to this very reason, and his dealings.

There’s a heavy weight in your chest, a sinking feeling that maybe you should backpedal. Pretend the words didn’t come out, or at the very least blame it on being high.

But the two of you have been doing this for a month now, sharing blunts, jokes, taunts—fries that one time you snuck out at midnight and smoked at Eddie’s trailer and you were starving.

Eddie saving the day when he pulled out a bag of frozen french fries, smirking like he had just solved the world's hardest equation. Your knuckles bumping against each other’s each time either of you went to dip your fry into ketchup. Your eyes meeting to smile and laugh about it.

Not to mention all the other things the two of you have been sharing; bodily fluids, spit, moans, praises.

So the feeling in your chest shouldn’t be there, not stopping you at the very least. Embarrassment and Eddie didn’t go in the same sentence. If this was anyone else, you’d be turning in on yourself and feeling like a fool. Receiving a dirty look or belittlement.

But not with Eddie.

He’s just laughing and raising his brows at you playfully.

“What is love to you?” You repeat trying to swallow down the insecurities of the question. Trying not to overthink why your weed muddled brain even went down that track.

It seemed the more the two of you did this, spent time together, you couldn’t help what slipped past your lips. Found it harder to go back to that proper girl, perfect daughter, mindless follower amongst your friends and family—the longer you spent with Eddie the more you felt like….you.

“You're serious?” Eddie asks, the smoke of the blunt wafting across his eyeline as he holds it to his lips ready to take another puff, but waiting for you to let him know if this was one of your weed epiphanies or teasing lines that turned into sex—or the latter.

“Deadly.” You confirm with a nod. Hone in on the way his lips wrap around the joint, eyebrows pulling together as he thinks.

“Don’t think I’ve ever really thought about it.” He admits, passes you the blunt; laces his fingers against his stomach and looks up at the sky.

“Never felt it?”

He shrugs, “not in the traditional way. Not all of us have been blessed with the whole town being in love with them.” He teases, shooting you a sidelong look.

You snort, “please.”

There’s silence as you smoke, eyes to the sky as you debate the question yourself. The plant pressed to your lips scraping up realizations, thoughts, feelings, sentiments you’ve never known until this—until Eddie.

“Hellfire.”

“Hmm?”

“Love.”

A silence, as you try to read his mind. Try to comprehend the two.

“Eddie,” you begin to laugh. “I am not picking up whatever this philosophical confession is meant to be.”

The hood of the van shakes as the two of you double over in hysterics.

“I just–” he says, trying to catch his breath. To stop the laughter. “I just meant that I feel love for that.” He elaborates, “new campaigns, my friends, when I’m playing on a stage–drunks and all. That’s the closest this cynical vessel has ever gotten to love.”

You smile, “so nerdy.”

He gives you a teasing look, “and yet you’re hanging out with this nerd. Sound the alarms!”

“Shut up!” You swat his shoulder, pass the joint back to him.

“What about you?” He repeats your question back to you in playful mockery that makes your cheeks burn, and you have to look away from him.

Chewing on your bottom lip as you sift through all the thoughts and feelings in your head. Shrugging your shoulders, “I don’t think I’ve felt it either. In the traditional way.”

“Running lover boys name into the ground again?”

You roll your eyes, “he loves himself too much to make room for anyone else.”

“If I had biceps like that I might too,” you turn to see him flex, as if he were some big body builder. The leather of his jacket showing nothing, making the laughter rocking your chest that much more heady.

“His biceps are the least impressive thing about him, trust me. There’s no depth there.”

Eddie runs the back of his hand over his forehead, “and here I was about to get jealous.”

You want to tell him that there is no competition between the two of them. That he would out win any comparison, any pro and cons list you could ever make. Eddie would always come out on top, you’ve long given up trying to hide the simple fact that you’d rather be around Eddie than anyone else in your life.

The realization still makes your stomach sink, ache, scare the hell out of you.

And like usual, when these thoughts pop into your head, you go silent for a handful of minutes. Try to keep your eyes off of him and stew in everything you’re feeling.

But then the word vomit comes back and you’re finally answering the question.

“I think I’d know if I felt it though.” Your eyes trace the stars, focus on the twinkling to aid you in getting everything out. “It’s one of those feelings that would feel like a gut punch, ya know? Like when you first feel it it’s going to stop you right in your tracks. And it’ll happen so suddenly that even if you wanted to run from it, it would already have you in its grasp. You’d already feel the butterflies everytime they do something idiotic to make you laugh, or waiting by the phone for them to call, or lose your breath every time you see them after a really shitty day, or your skin would burn when you catch them staring at you. Like all those cheesy rock songs preach about.” You tease. “It'll just feel comfortable, too comfortable. Almost scary.”

Your words come out a mile a minute, ribs feel bruised from how heavy in your chest your heart is beating. There’s a laugh that dies in your throat when you turn in his direction, about to offhandedly brush everything you said off with a joke.

But the look on Eddie’s face, the seriousness of it—how it’s making your skin burn—has you swallowing hard and losing any train of thought, dismissive emotions going off the rails. Crashing and burning.

A slow grin pulls up his lips eventually and it makes your heart leap.

He takes a puff from the joint, lifts it in the air. “To love and the sorry suckers who go through it,” passing the smoke to you.

“To love,” you repeat his actions, laughing around the paper.

“Sounds miserable.” He jokes, fiddles with his rings.

“Absolutely.” You sigh, watching him.

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson #eddie munson x you #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fic #eddie munson oneshot #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson drabble #blurb week

[agentmmayy]

may music rotation

this month might not have been a super great month for music but from what i found it was a FANTASTIC month for lyrics and summer-esque songs!!!!!!!

back home - mila ziska: this song is so melancholic and sweet and it embodies the spirit of summer so cleanly. ‘harvest all the seeds i’ve sown pick the fruit once you come back home’  ‘i have this force within me it pulls me like the ocean tide’ and ‘oh growing up is a strange thing it’s like it happens over night’ i’ve been here for centuries. i’ve been here for days. i am every age i have ever been but i still know nothing. i am old and i am young and i am trying to come home. i want to go home. all stories are about coming home!!!!!!!

also this song is formally VERY similar to ‘the best day’ by taylor swift so that of course made it hit even harder

quarter life crisis - isabel dumma: talk about bop!!!! the chorus is amazing and so so so accurate and then the bridge??? ‘floatin’ ain’t the same as swimmin’ i know i ain’t drowning but breathin’ isn’t livin’ 

vagabond - overcoats: THIS song. this song has been the one i’ve played most this month because one it’s an absolute banger and second of all it read me for filth and the lyrics are so beautifully crafted and honest and pure and delivered impeccably. it’s a sweet, slow melody and coupled with the lyrics it reached into the depths of my soul and pulled out everything i can’t say and put it into this song like 

‘i’m just learning how to make peace with feeling small’ ‘but i might drive off if it gets too hard’ ‘there’s always a sunset that i wanna run into’ ‘i’m searching but i’m not lost’ and my all time favorite lyric that put me on the floor when i heard it the first time- ‘i’m a growing tree a few missing leaves i can’t shelter you don’t sit under me’ HELLO????? 

anyway, i am a HUGE fan of the overcoats and i am so proud of them for their success and for their new album!!!!! which is where this song is from but have i been able to listen to it yet? no i keep playing this song on repeat 

fireworks - JOSEPH: now for ANOTHER song that read me for filth. lately i’ve been feeling this exact way since all my friends and people around me have reached certain milestones in life- such as getting married, settling down, etc- that i haven’t and i’m left even more alone and bereft. but THIS SONG said that’s okay!!!!!!!! this song understood!!!!!! it said i’m not alone feeling this way!!!!

every lyric absolutely sent me through the roof but these especially:  ‘all these long songs might be no good for me’ ‘how long will i wait to be happy all my friends ask me’ ‘what if i’m wrong wrong to think there’s more to this story’ ‘an act of faith even though it hurts to shut that door am i holding out forever?’ ‘am i headstrong or foolish every night waiting for lighting to strike whole you’ve got blue skies?’ and my favorite- ‘i wish i could just flip a switch and accept your kind of muted bliss’ WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! once again HOW did they put it into words!!!!!! this song has such a special place in my heart. i can’t tell you how many times i’ve not only listened to it but also screamed along and cried to it 

also, JOSEPH always creates the most compelling and just fun to listen to songs and this is no exception!!!!!!!!! the harmonies are delicious and the music dropping at certain points is incredible and the beat has me dancing around the room. filed right under beach music! 

waves crash - JOSEPH: ok yes another song that turned me inside out and shook loose every embarrassment and fear and secret that i kept hidden and turned it into a song that said it’s okay!!!!!!! i understand!!!!! you are still worthy!!!!! 

again, every lyric is a masterpiece. ‘i’m a tall tall tree reaching up in the breeze’ *crying* i AM a tree!!!!!!! ‘i’m a limb of goodness in motion’ you’re getting emotional over nature comparisons? THE TREE AND OCEAN METAPHORS GOT TO ME OKAY. speaking of oceans in this, the chorus is insane. ‘waves crash clouds break yet here i am ashamed of all the cracks trying to glue the right mask in place’ shut up!!!!!!!!!! it’s a ballad. it’s everything. the vocalizations made me cry. they are cries. it sent me to my knees 

wild uncharted waters - jonah hauer-king: i saw the little mermaid in theaters recently and boy was i NOT prepared for eric to sing but honestly????? best song in the movie and on the album. idk if it was the euphoria of hearing it for the first time or the sheer surprise but this song is a banger. 

‘all i ever wanted was the open sky and sea’ SO REAL. ‘now i am on the shoreline but i am still lost at sea’ ‘in my mind your melody goes on stronger than the undertow’ ‘when your eyes outshine the horizon line’ ‘now i’m right here on the shoreline i’m right where you left me’  how am i supposed to live laugh love in this situation!!!!!!!!!! do i even need to say it!!!!!!! 

look back - dora jar: so delicate!!!!!!!! had my attention right from the jump. the imagery is spun with each lyric and metaphor (more ocean metaphors!!!!!) and the overall tone of grief and determination and love. ‘but i think i saw your memory washed up on the sand i let it stick to my skin traced it with my hand’ wtf. it has such strong apocalyptic vibes. not necessarily apocalyptic in the strict sense that the entire world has been destroyed and is suffering but apocalyptic in the sense that one person’s world has been destroyed whether by their own volition or not

bonus songs:

tunnel vision - imani graham: poignant!!!! ‘am i to blame for your bad habits oh i wish i said something but ignored all my needs’ ‘I stumbled through the chaos but found what I believe in tripping on the eggshells that you placed underneath me’ WHEW! 

also formally reminds me of both ‘want want’ and ‘anywhere with you’ by maggie rogers

red wine supernova - chappell roan: this song is weird and i love it. i also love everything chappell roan produces, of course, but i really love how clever she is with lyrics and ‘you said you like magic well i got a wand and a rabbit’ BLEW MY MF MIND also her vocals are insane 

all the stars - mree: the album and and the title got to me okay? i love how groovy and gentle this is

#putting two joseph songs on here bc they're BOTH bangers and i love them so much #high key recommend listening to the entire new album bc it slaps #me putting this together: im drawing parallels im making the comparisons #monthly music rotation #monthly music roundup #bestie you're gonna flip over vagabond and waves crash #and fireworks bc we were literally JUST talking about that exact thing

[notasapleasure]

Oh I realized I forgot to ask about Jerott/Marthe plans (I think I’ve seen what you’ve written but I’d love to hear abt the other ideas too!) and “AU of an AU” bc I wanna know how the townhouse stay goes!

I'll answer Au of an au separately :')

Ik I must have mentioned this a million times, but it always bears repeating :') the whole ethos of band AU Jerott/Marthe is summarised by the song Precious Things by Tori Amos:

So I ran faster But it caught me here Yes, my loyalties turned Like my ankle In the seventh grade Running after Billy Running after the rain

These precious things Let them bleed Let them wash away These precious things Let them break Their hold on me

He said "you're really an ugly girl But I like the way you play" And I died, but I thanked him Can you believe that? Sick, sick, holding on to his picture Dressing up every day I wanna smash the faces Of those beautiful boys Those Christian boys So, you can make me cum That doesn't make you Jesus

These precious things Let them bleed Let them wash away These precious things Let them break Their hold on me

I remember, yes In my peach party dress No one dared No one cared to tell me Where the pretty girls are Those demigods With their nine-inch nails And little fascist panties Tucked inside the heart Of every nice girl

These precious things Let them bleed Let them wash away These precious things Let them break Let them wash away These, these precious things Let them bleed, now Let them wash away These, these precious things Let them break Their hold on me

--

I also actually made a band AU playlist for them ages and ages ago, but some of those songs have since been repurposed to other characters' playlists and I think I'd rework it quite heavily now. Still, gives an idea of the vibes.

More answer and fic below the cut

Marthe gets saddled with minding Jerott while he finishes up his stint in rehab (Anemone on Ao3). She doesn't let on what she knows of where Francis has gone - nor who he's gone with - and Jerott's probably surprisingly tolerable while he's sober and chastened after all the drama of the road trip etc. They get to jamming together and do a few shows for pocket money, and probably bond over some obscure artists and songs they didn't think anyone else knew about/thought were cool in that day and age (mutual love of Nature Boy ftw haha yes I am aware of what I did there: 'the greatest thing you'll ever learn / is just to love / and be loved / in return').

Marthe, cynical about her chances of a solo career in the wake of Kiaya's departure, sees in Jerott a competant musician who she might bend to play her kind of music, to allow her to kind of ride on-his-coattails into the charts/European market (grudgingly admitting the need for a Man in the music industry, thanks for the 'lesson', Kiaya), from where she might find her own niche. They do have chemistry on stage at this point, playing covers together and challenging each other to play better than the other. I think that leads her to a moment of vulnerability where she makes a last gasp effort to convince herself she's bi, when it's really just that competence is a draw no matter who they are. But Jerott's still sober and he's so excited she's willing to tolerate him (oh thank god!! I was attracted to her and not Francis after all!!) that he's well behaved and keeps his mouth shut when told to (see excerpt below). He is also, as we have discussed, A Good Sex Haver, or at least is very much the kind of guy who gets off on giving good head (it's MY au and I'll do what I want to make elements of their marriage less grim ok??), so even if Marthe's not keen on piv she can live with the situation.

The marriage is something they both claim to go into with eyes wide open - knowing it suits her to have access to European residency (I am not looking up citizenship law for this ask, but Jerott probably has dual French/British if that's possible at the time) and knowing that he's obsessed with her(/Francis) while she's kind of indifferent/tolerating him. But of course he believes she'll come to love him anyway, and he believes he doesn't love Francis, and she believes he'll stay sober and meek and won't mind being teased about Francis when it's obvious that's who he'd rather be with.

They do some touring and it starts well - Fleetwood Mac energy, bouncing from love to hate depending on the kind of day they've had. They get a pretty good record contract, but they absolutely blow the recording of it. They have to *live* together for the first time, not on tour, but in a place near the studio, confined and at each other's throats. He starts drinking again. She won't compromise musically. It's a total flop - the lyrics are called outdated and garbled, the music is overproduced, stifled and jars from one track to the next. They play a few live shows where some of the tracks come into their own a bit, but the reviews put such a strain on them they pull their tour and fuck off to Europe, like living together in Jerott's ancestral homelands and sorting through Marthe's grandma's junk is somehow going to improve things.

So that's when things start to come apart, even though they're ostensibly working on a second record together they're not touring and they're working from a home studio, so their world is quite limited and Marthe branches out and finds French friends while Jerott obsessively follows the music news and write great long epistles to Francis.

In terms of the fic I mentioned, the idea was trying to write the highs (well, moderate peaks) and lows of their relationship through sex. I never got very far with the first one (below) but the idea was that 1) leaves Marthe mildly impressed, 2) a bit uncertain of how this might evolve, but still happy enough, 3) he says 'Francis' when he comes, but he's sober and just very tired so she elects to ignore it for now, 4) starting to get bored with this, the tour is tiiiring, 5) studio life doesn't suit them, he's not sober, and when he says 'Francis' this time she's absolutely calling him on it.

I did still intend to write a version of this fic set between the Baron Morgan/Aga Morat stuff and Checkmate, but I only wrote one scene between them, which you've read :)

Others haven't though! So I'll post it beneath the excerpt from the unfinished bit. It makes reference to her suspicion that it's only a matter of time before he calls her 'Francis' and alludes to a less-than-happy occasion on which GRM pulled his hair, not like he's ready to talk about that with Marthe...uh...ever? I imagined it set sometime during their tour, before they get bogged down trying to record their album. It's more them, I think - Marthe eternally shadowed by a kind of self-loathing and resentment of Jerott that's never going to go away.

--

Draft 1

She's pleasantly surprised pre-wedding

No, that won't work, but keep doing it if you have to

He says 'Francis' when he shouldn't

So you can make me come it doesn't make you Jesus

She calls him out on saying Francis, he clearly had no idea he'd said it

1.

By the end of the encore, laughing and waving into what seemed a physical wall of noise, Jerott knew he had never been happier in his life. The crowd wasn't the biggest he had played to, the set had been rough and ready, but there was a spark on that stage that even Marthe could no longer deny. She stepped up to stand by his side and raise her own arms, and she smiled across at Jerott: a small, wry little thing, but a smile that contained genuine pride.

In the motel corridor, Jerott stopped at her shoulder, each of them facing opposite directions. She looked at him from the corner of her eye, her long, white neck held tall and straight, her smile something that even now she fought, but that made her cornflower blue eyes sparkle.

"That was pretty good, right?" He offered his most bashful, winning grin in return, lowering his chin and gaze.

Marthe snorted. "Yeah," she admitted though. "Yeah it was. You can play, I'll give you that."

He raised his brows and tried not to laugh or blush - he knew he could play, he'd never needed to hear it from her. But she was looking at him still, in a strange and calculating manner that made him feel weighted to the spot. Her eyes narrowed, sweat-smudged kohl hemming in their vibrant colour, and she bit her lip.

He didn't notice her hand move until it began to slide around his, neat and warm, her fingers following the sensitive contours of his palm.

Jerott sucked in a breath and his hand tightened reflexively on hers. At the pressure, Marthe's expression flickered, the corners of her mouth moving with something tight and resigned and her nostrils flaring. But she didn't try to withdraw.

She said nothing, and he saw blooms of colour, like peonies, cover the pale skin of her chest and throat. Her pulse flickered in the pronounced v of tendons between her collarbones and Jerott ached to press his mouth to it and feel her life, separate and strange beneath his lips.

Marthe tugged his hand until he took a step sideways, and the lengths of their arms were aligned: his bare brown skin against her rumpled shirt and white skin, long black hairs mingling with the fine blonde ones covering her forearm. Her face was only inches from his. It was smooth as polished marble, distinguished here and there by traces of the complexities of her existence: fine echoes of all her frowns and smiles in the lines that could not be seen when he stood back. And he had never known her eyes so wide, her mouth part with such softness.

Jerott felt his heart jolt at the expression on her face. He had imagined it so many times, in so many places, and it could never have compared to the way she looked now: sultry and confident, gently, wryly amused, and - finally - interested in what she saw in return?

"You think I can play?" He murmured, leaning into her gravity, his smile smooth and his eyes steady.

She grinned, but it made the hairs on his arms stand on end: a sense of danger gathering. "Don't," Marthe said, her voice crisp and firm.

He raised his eyebrows and broadened his sweetest smile. With an unsteady breath he lowered his face still closer to hers.

Marthe snorted, blue fire dancing in her eyes, the dimples in her cheeks sinking deeper. "I said don't!" She repeated, but her grin crept into her voice. "Don't pull that smooth shit with me, you got your compliment."

Jerott laughed silently and looked down, his eyes hovering on her lips as he contemplated saying another foolish thing.

She must have seen the idiocy on the tip of his tongue and pre-empted it: "Shut up. Shut up, shut up, shut up," she raked the last syllable over her vocal chords, drawling , chuckling, edging nearer herself until her nose brushed against his. Her mascara-coated lashes lowered until the last moment.

Jerott met her eyes as their lips touched: blue like an open sky, blue like denim and fresh water. Her mouth was soft and hot, closed over his own parched mouth as she tested the feel of him, her open eyes seeking out the response she elicited.

He tried to hold her stare, but her lips moved against his, her teeth met his lower lip with gentle, teasing pressure, and he gasped and his eyes fell shut. His free hand came up to her shoulder, which was warm beneath the shirt she had shrugged on over her sweat-dark tank top, the perfect fit against his palm.

--

Draft 2

He'd proven himself, to Marthe's great surprise, an enthusiastic and generous lover. No inheritor to Gaultier's bored, unimaginative humping was Jerott Blyth; he'd go down on her at the drop of a hat, and he'd do it well; backstage, back alleys, motel rooms - wherever he could get his hands on her while they were both still buzzing with the adrenaline of the set they'd played.

Marthe wasn't sure if it made it easier or harder when he was above her in a motel bed then, taking what he assumed would be given freely in exchange for his own efforts. She did try, for the first few times, to work out if she might like it when it was a handsome young man between her legs instead of her dry, detached professor. But though she entertained the idea of being someone, something else, it wasn't long before she knew it just wasn't for her - neither in the sense of something given, nor in the sense of appealing to her tastes.

But he wasn't Gaultier, she wasn't his pet, and he could play. Their sets were electric, furious, wild in a way Marthe had never had the freedom to be publicly before. And afterwards he wanted to - and could - make her cum like no one she'd met since the girlfriend she'd had back in halls, and after that she was able to simply lie there and wait for him to finish without even feeling much of anything.

Gaultier had developed a habit of working on his compositions while he fucked her - eyes closed, mentally picturing the stave as he hummed and muttered notes to himself. Jerott, on the other hand, was gentleman enough to admire her with his eyes, his hands, his tongue. To never forget a condom the way Gaulter had from time to time – because he could, too. Above all, he was very eager to tell her she was beautiful.

Marthe didn't need to be told that. But it was better than being used as a dissociative tool for someone's artistic process.

It seemed kinder, then, to maintain an air of curiosity, of interest. In order to do so, she made a bet with herself - with the money she was earning from this tour, she'd buy herself a new guitar if he slipped and called her Francis while deep in the throes. If he didn't, she'd do something sensible with the money. Put it in savings or something.

Maybe she was thinking of the guitar when, one night in Seattle, she sat up to take the foil packet from his hands and open it herself. He looked at her searchingly, dark eyes she found difficult to read scanning her expression for ulterior motives.

Marthe tossed the loose tendrils of her tied-back hair over her shoulder and tore the packet open with her teeth, aware of the weight of his stare, aware of his breath coming more heavily.

She rolled the condom on, thinking abstractedly of community sex ed workshops on the college lawn. For good measure, she gave his cock a couple of firm strokes, and he gasped, his brows raising.

Ok, that's plenty, Marthe sat back with an expression she imagined was closer to being a seductive smile than a grimace. She didn't want him to think she was going to do...that, every time.

Perhaps she was overthinking things, overestimating what he'd notice and what he'd expect. Jerott wasn't that complicated, after all - he reached for her and kissed her like there was only one thought on his mind, and Marthe let herself be brought close, kissed him back with the same sloppy urgency.

Then, impulsively, she moved closer still, lifting one leg and shifting to straddle him where he sat on the edge of the bed - he made a sound in the kiss that Marthe took to be surprise and pleasure, and she ground her hips against him, her body still wet from his tongue, from her own orgasm, slick against the rubber he wore.

Jerott moaned and Marthe gritted her teeth. She pushed him back to the mattress and lowered herself onto him, her eyes closed, her mind on the wares for sale at Eve's Garden. She had him half on the bed and half off, his lower legs dangling over the side, unable to brace himself easily against the floor - it gave her near total control of the rhythm, and she batted him back down again if he tried to sit up.

He didn't take much convincing, though he remained propped on his elbows for a time, gawping up at her. She could sense him watching, and cracked open her eyes to wince at his expression of ragged, lascivious desire - mouth loose and open, eyelids heavy, gaze blank. Marthe screwed her eyes shut again and sank herself as low as she could, upping the pace of her rolling hips.

Jerott at last admitted defeat, lay back and made a strangled sound of ecstasy, holding onto her thighs just above each knee with bruising strength in his hands.

She'd never done this with Gaultier - he didn't believe in a woman being on top, and besides, if she'd broken his hip or something, he wouldn't have hesitated to claim the medical bills on her insurance.

But there was, she found, far more pleasure to be had this way. There were no hot, grasping fingers or lips on her breasts, there was no sandpapery, rough cheek rubbing on the skin of her neck. She could keep her eyes closed and imagine herself wherever she needed to be to get off.

She began to believe that she might do so here, as well. She wielded her body with less deliberation, working herself to a sweat as she bucked her hips, her hands resting on the tops of her thighs, feeling her breasts swing heavily, the small, natural garland of fat on her belly and her flanks jogging with her movements. The bed and mattress shrieked and rattled beneath her, the sound like a crowd going wild for an encore.

Jerott let out a cry and Marthe was almost embarrassed to hear herself answer it, feeling fire crawl its way up inside her, flickering and crackling like a broken bulb at the edge of her vision.

Fearful he wouldn't last as long as she needed, she let herself lean forwards, one hand a fist, bracing herself against his chest, the other taking hold of a bunch of his black hair for good measure, fingers tangling against his sweaty scalp. She adjusted the angle of her hips accordingly and bit her lower lip, trying to keep her momentum going.

Beneath her, Jerott's body flinched.

"Fuck...!" he groaned. He gripped the wrist of the hand that was knotted in his hair but found that tugging it only tightened Marthe's hold. His other hand flailed for the bed clothes, grabbing at the sheets and relieving the pressure on Marthe's thigh so she could really move how she wanted to.

He didn't complain about her grip. On the contrary, his eyes were closed and his brow was furrowed with concentration. "Oh, god..." he said hoarsely as his head rolled on the covers.

It was never quite enough though - she didn't get further than eternally close before his body bucked beneath hers with a grunt. The way he craned his neck and turned his head against the mattress pulled her forward, jerked by the hand tangled in his hair, and her own concentration was lost as he came.

"Shit," Marthe barked breathlessly.

She tugged her hand free, noting that Jerott's hold was now on her hips, his thumbs softly caressing her skin, encouraging her own gentle rocking motion to continue as he finished, wringing every last drop of satisfaction out.

Marthe swept his hands away, rolled off him without preamble and sat beside his prone form with a sour taste rising to her tongue. Disappointment - she knew the flavour well. Stupid, to let herself get involved like that, to try and take something for herself. That wasn't what this was about.

It was about her career. Wasn't it always?

Marthe sighed and massaged her brow. Her grandmother would want to know when she was moving to Europe, when she was going to find a market she could really sell to. When she was going to make something of herself - or, failing that, make Francis Crawford make something of her. Whatever they really were to each other.

Her grandmother would have a great many questions when the tour finally came to an end in New York, but one thing Marthe's grandmother would be certain of was that the man currently lying next to her was second-best - and Marthe's grandmother would therefore judge him perfectly adequate to his task.

Jerott lay still for a moment beside her and then raised a hand and rubbed at the top of his sternum, at his throat like he had a pain there. He let out a cough and frowned at the ceiling, then sat up and slipped away to the ensuite.

Usually, when they were in the motel room, he couldn't wait to wrap his arms around her afterwards, to pin her close in his hold - where Marthe felt like a small bird gripped in a fist. He'd fall asleep and she'd lie there, smelling his tobacco, his whiskey, waiting until he was heavy and snoring and she could squirm free to lie comfortably on the other side of the bed.

Tonight though, he lingered in the bathroom, and Marthe felt chilled and exposed as she realised that, for once, she would quite like to have been held in his warm arms. It might have made her feel a little less silly about the whole relationship, just to follow through with the act a bit longer today. But he didn't seem in any hurry to come back to her. She lay naked on the rumpled bedsheets while he ran faucets and clattered about with mouthwash and water glasses.

Her head propped on one hand, the remote lying in front of her, Marthe glared at the tiny TV screen in the corner of the room and stabbed buttons on the remote with one-fingered vindictiveness. That was it, she'd decided. Penetrative sex had to be the worst joke ever told to womankind. She wouldn't bother getting her hopes up again about it.

Click.

Porcupines fucking on a nature documentary. Marthe accepted the funny side of it, and snorted.

Click.

Some lowest common denominator sitcom where the overworked woman was chewing out her lazy husband.

Click.

Teleshopping.

Click.

Pizza ad. Her stomach growled. Maybe she was being unfair. Maybe she was just hungry - she hadn't eaten since before soundcheck.

Click.

A familiar shade of rose pink caught her eye as the channels flickered, and she stopped her assault on the remote to frown at the screen.

"With revelations emerging about Rajneeshpuram daily, it's looking more and more like Graham Reid Malett's activities were standard across all the cult's sites."

It was a report into illegal activities at the main ashram in Oregon, but showed footage of the man who had styled himself Geetesh in custody and on trial for crimes committed at his own Nevada ashram. Marthe watched with a kind of fascinated disgust as the portentous voiceover barely scraped the surface of Reid Malett's wrong-doings.

"Fraud, invasion of privacy, coercion, and he presided over violent and sexual workshops in which willing participants..."

As she watched, Jerott emerged from the ensuite. He handed her one of the two water glasses he'd filled and paused by the bed, staring at the TV with an appalled expression.

"What the fuck are you watching?" he asked.

Marthe shrugged the shoulder that was uppermost and nodded at the bedside table, indicating that Jerott could leave the water there.

"You don't wanna know how Swami Graham is doing?"

He'd moved round to his side of the bed and she saw his face the way it was lit up by the screen: repulsed, furious, maybe even a bit scared?

"No."

Marthe thought she noticed his fingers tremble a little as he put his own glass down. He ran them through his hair and then his eyes fell on the remote.

"Switch it off."

She saw him reach for it and - because he wanted it, because he spoke commandingly and she'd let him have enough already, and more, that night - she snatched it away. "I'm watching!"

"Well don't! What do you even want to know that you haven't already seen with your own two eyes?" He gestured furiously, pointing two fingers at his own fierce features, and grabbed again for the remote.

"Hey!" Marthe wasn't above hollering when he laid a hand on her to stop her from protecting the device. "Don't touch me!"

Jerott had already retreated to stand by the bed again, maintaining a distance, his palms open at his sides, his expression one of vexed fury. "Please switch it off," he said carefully, but Marthe knew suppressed anger when she heard it.

She narrowed her eyes. "Why? You're not gonna...let it all out, get all cathartic on me?"

His jaw clenched visibly.

"Personally, I think it's reassuring to see him cuffed and guarded," Marthe added, eyeing up the picture on the screen.

"...swapped his disciple's robes of pink for fetching penitentiary facility orange..."

Jerott said nothing, but took three long strides to the far wall and yanked the TV plug from the socket.

Marthe rolled her eyes and swept the remote off the bed so it clattered to the floor. "Oh, Mr Rock and Roll. Gonna throw it out the window, too?"

Jerott got into bed and yanked the sheet over his body without turning to face her. "Good night, Marthe," he snarled.

She stared at his back for a moment and then made a sound of exasperation and got up to brush her own teeth.

It wasn't like she'd wanted to watch the programme anyway, it was just that any talk of the Rajneeshees wound him up so much, even now. Marthe, of all people, could well understand another's bitterness about the wasted years of their life - but Jerott's bitterness was always special. He couldn't accept that anyone else might have regrets about any number of things, oh no - nothing compared to the victimhood of the boy who had run off to join a cult instead of going to med school, who had run off to med school instead of joining a band with a man he was clearly deeply, obliviously in love with. He was evidently the first guy on earth to find out he was attracted to a man and feel conflicted about it, the first person in the history of mankind to have his illusions shattered about someone he'd trusted.

Marthe brushed her teeth and hair angrily in the dark bathroom and got back into bed with a heavy landing on the mattress, with deliberately exaggerated kicking of the sheet, plumping of the pillow, and fidgeting until she was comfortable.

"Good night, Jerott. Good gig today. Sleep well."

#the band au #wip ask meme #lymond chronicles #jerott/marthe #oh man this should probably have warnings idek - hmu if you need anything specific warning/tagging for and i'll sort it #my wips #my fics

[kata-aro]

Our weird humans are cute

Author: Kaisha Re

I’ve decided to post this after I have been watching our humans for about three weeks now. So I looked up for some ideas and have found a list “Why humans are the cutest animals”. So I would take a point from the list and check if our humans or at least one of them matched it. So... Here we go.

1.  Playing with automathic doors

Kate: have seen her raising her hand and swinging it to the side so it looked like she used some magic to control the door. Though it looked like a good practice of timing your movements.

Max: slowed down in front of the door just in case. Explained it as he had bumped in doors like that so now takes precautions. Also sometimes snaps fingers just a moment before the door starts open.

2. Adopting smaller life forms

As we don’t have animals they addopted their SED droids. They gave them names and talk to them in binary when they need something. Also now both droids have their charging places decorated like small nests and they are painted to match theit owners and their ships. Kate calles her SED Ice, though I don’t see the reason for this name. Max gave his SED name Fire, that is more explainable because of colour.

3. Repeating funny frases from holomovies

Well, this point we haven’t still checked as we didn’t have time to watch something together. Though I sometimes hear they laughing repeating our words after the dialogs.

4. Taking others’ clothes

Well they both wear that baggy hooded things they call “hoody”. And we saw them wearing each others’ more than once.

5. Taking food off their regular feeding areas to eat while entertained

Not so often to see, but our humans have done it if they were late for lunch and wanted to watch Jar’nai and Ha’la’kai spar. Also have seen them reading in a feeding area more than once. So I think we have a point here.

6. Associating songs with individuals or events

Well, not that we have discussed music with them but sometimes they can sing quietly while doing something. So they were humming the song over the coms when they patroling the asteroid belt on our last mission. After that they explained it was from holomovie about spies and was used for something hard to do. They hummed it while navigating THROU the asteroids by the way. So I don’t know if we can use it as a point.

7. Sleeping together

More then once. Kate is younger as we understood and she seeks comfort more openly. So she sleeps better if curled near Max or since the last few days Ha’la’kai. They thinks she is adorable and lets her to come to engineering module if she have had a bad dream or something like this. Though yesterday I saw all three after lunch napping in a pile.

8. Forgeting basic needs if interested in something

Oh, that’s a headache we met too many times already. They both do it almost every time. Kate found some interesting learning modules last week about history or phylosophy and they “forgot to sleep”. Sialo had to make a rule for them that bed time is at 24 on ship time if they are not on a mission. Good thing we have sensors to check the light level in their room. Like children, really. And it’s just one example.

9. Sleep talking

Well, Ha mentioned it once as Kate had a bad dream she murmured something. Also they are teasing each other for this thing. Snorring, funny breathing patterns etc.

10. Decorating themselves

Yes, they told us once that their fur colour is not natural. They both had dark broun but than wanted a change so they are using some pigments in their shampoo to keep the colour. Also Max has been using some black pigment to draw on his skin. Kate once used it to draw a small simbol of chemical element she called her totem. So yes, they decorate themselves.

11. Collecting random things

Hm, I think they are collecting orbital photos of the planets they had missions on along with their paramethers such as atmospheric pressure and composition, gravitation level and temperature. May be something more.

Also they may collect any information on historical group called Rami’kae that used to live in the galaxy long ago, about 5 thousend standard years ago. Though I may mistake.

Well, they are really cute and match the list. And even if they say they are adults we all think they are too young for their kind to be ones. Like humans now live about 500 standard according to their biology and physiology. Our scientists think even longer with several procedures. And our humans are very young. Max is 24 standard and Kate is just 20. They are children even by age. Cute little children.

So, may be we will meet again.

#humans are space australians #humans are weird #Kaisha Re #Ha'la'kai #Kate Aro #Max Aro #cute humans

[buttherainbowhadabeard]

He IS The Voice

On Monday night, the new music documentary ‘John Farnham: Finding the Voice’ aired on Australian free-to-air television.

Now, I’ve been a fan of his since I was a kid, so not much was new to me. I knew he started young and fresh faced (gorgeous, in fact. Still is really) and that there was an awful lull in his career when radio stations and record companies wouldn’t give him a chance. Nuts. Anyway.

He came back, bigger and better than ever, and the rest (as they say) is history. He’s been legend / GOAT status for decades here, but revisiting all of his music again, in more detail, has been such a joy. He’s not played on the radio as frequently as you’d think these days.

Since Monday, I’ve been re-downloading and playing all of his greatest hits again. As you can imagine, the playlist is long. ‘You’re The Voice’, ‘Age of Reason’, ‘Pressure Down’, ‘That’s Freedom’, ‘Burn for You’, ‘Playing to Win’, ‘A Touch of Paradise’, ‘Every Time You Cry’, ‘Reasons’ etc etc.

However, it’s his incredible live cover of The Beatles’ ‘Help’ with the Melbourne Symphony Orchestra that I’ve had mostly on repeat (the video of it on YouTube is simply joyful). I truly think it’s one of the best covers / arrangements of a popular song that I’ve ever heard, and one of the greatest examples of John’s INSANE vocal abilities.

(It’s also worth bearing in mind to that this was his encore after a 2+ HOUR SHOW. The fact he could still sing well at that point, and like this, still blows my mind).

I’ve seen a bunch of vocal coaches watching it recently too and losing their minds over how effortlessly and enthusiastically he tears this song up. The amount of soul and grit and power he puts into these words gets me every time.

He also exhibits that typical Farnham energy, fun, passion and charisma that he has in spades. Whether you’re watching him perform live or interviewed on the TV, the man honestly feels like a friend.

Every part of the rendition is epic, but at the 4 min 35 sec spot in particular, he does a playful run which makes me grin like an idiot!

I still feel so lucky that my dad & I were invited to his The Age Music Victoria Hall Of Fame induction in 2015. He was meant to do a song or two but ended up playing for about an hour and a half, and he was so pitch perfect and so funny!

When we all heard that he had to have emergency mouth surgery late last year, we all held our breath and prayed (no, I’m not religious, but it Farnsy!). There’s such cruel irony in a singer getting throat cancer. It’s been a long recovery, but the recent news from his sons that he is cancer-free and up and about (literally singing and dancing around the house) is the best news.

Being an Aussie, we obviously know John Farnham inside and out and we’re beyond proud of him, but it always saddens me a bit that he never got the international recognition he deserved in his heyday. It seems like a lot of Brits and Americans are only just discovering him now and honestly, he runs rings around most of their “legends”.

John Farnham is Australia’s best kept secret, even though we’re more than happy to share him with the rest of the world!

#johnfarnham #johnnyfarnham #farnsy #australian #singer #songwriter #performer #entertainer #legend #icon #help #thebeatles #cover #live #yourethevoice #hero #halloffame

[if-th3n-else]

Hey Amanda : ) Love your blog! Random question: I’ve been listening to a lot of French music lately and I was wondering if you have any favorite songs you want to share. Thanks x

Heyy sorry for the long delay :/

So tbh I pretty much don't listen french music lmao

But if you are into rock music, yuou should listen to Indochine, it's the most famous french rock band, they've been around since the 80s and they also always had engaged texts about queerness, war, etc.

Check : L'Aventurier (aka their most famous song we always butcher at karaoke cause it's too fast lmao), 3e Sexe, Canary Bay, Tes Yeux noirs, La vie est belle, J'ai demandé à la lune, Les Tzars, Trois nuits par semaine, College Boy, and basically everything.

There's also Superbus, another rock group, I don't really follow what they are releasing now. You can check : Lola, Butterfly, Travel the World, Addictions, Apprends moi, Mes défauts, Je reste encore, C'est pas comme ça...

Also gotta out myself to my french followers as I used to be a big Kyo fan during my emo phase lmao. They are not a emo band but they were there during the emo eras and most of their texts are sad af lmao.

If you want to feel included in the middle of french millennials just learn the whole lyrics of Dernière Danse, we all go batshit crazy when this song starts playing. Also check : Le Chemin (we also go insane for this one), Je cours, Chaque seconde, Pardonné, Je te vends mon âme, Dans ma chair, Sarah, Sad Days, Ce soir (honestly just listen the entire albums 300 Lésions & Le Chemin I love every song), Comme des frères, Le Graal.

Mylène Farmer, I'm not a die hard fan but still I would love to see her live cause she's famous to put on the greatest show. This woman is kind of a legend. She revolutionized music videos, and she has an aura... you either love her or you hate her tbh. She has a very special kind of voice and people don't like her cause she sings A LOT about death, but she also sings very explicitly about sex and non gender norms.

Check: Pourvu qu'elles soient douces (the music has a 20 minutes clip and it's the one that revolutionized the music videos), Sans Contrefaçon, Désenchantée, Ainsi sois je, Les Mots, C'est une belle journée, Dégénération, Oui mais... Non, California, L'âme-stram-gram, Innamoramento, a personal favourite of me: it's a Baudelaire's poem she put into music (I'm a big Baudelaire's poetry enthousiast).

If you're into rap, then absolutely check Diam's. Again she came from my teen years, she doesn't release music anymore, she chose another path. BUT she is very important to the rap scene in France. She is the first female superstar rapper here and everyone still respect her today (if they don't, don't trust them). She was walking in the middle of a male field with basically her talent and her spite and that's all. And most of the french women of hip hop wouldn't be here today if she didn't path the way. Again, I'm repeating myself but more of her texts are not very joyous lmao. She also talk a lot about France's society racism and sadly, currently listening to her in 2022 and well... it's still very true...

Check : La Boulette, Jeune demoiselle (definitely not a deep text but a veryfamous song of her), Parce que, Cause à effet, Dj (another french millennials karaoke moment lmao), T.S. (definitely her most heavy song it's about her suicide attempt), Marine (this one is about Marin Lepen a french far right politician that has been now multiple times in the second turn of presidential elections), Ma France à moi.

You can search "variété française" if you want to listen to all of our classics from the 80s (or before) to the 2010s. Basically I don't really listen to a lot french music but when I do it's probably classified as "cringe" and "old" by everyone else lmao. I kinda stopped following whatever music has been released after the 2010s.

Again, sorry for the late reply, also sorry about the typo, too lazy to read myself ^^

Hope it helps :)

#misc #answers #skinnyscottishbloke #french music

[bubblesandgutz]

Every Record I Own - Day 757: Low HEY WHAT

This is an album highlight of 2021.

I’ve always liked Low, but I’ve never LOVED Low. I listened to The Curtain Hits the Cast quite a bit in college and their Christmas album gets a lot of spins around the holidays, but I think there’s always been a bit of disconnect between what Low sounds like in my imagination versus what they sound like in reality. I liked the blissful, hushed narcotic crawl of “Over the Ocean” and basically wanted their entire catalog to keep to that vibe. But Mimi Parker and Alan Sparhawk evolved beyond the “let’s play so quietly that the crowd has to struggle to hear us” principle of their early years, especially in the vocal department. There’s a confidence and strength in their vocals that developed over the course of the ‘90s, and as is the case with a lot of artists I admire, my enjoyment of their music actually diminished as they got better at singing (see also: R.E.M., Joanna Newsom, etc.). Enunciated lyrics? Vibrato? Incessant vocal harmonies? That’s trio is my kryptonite. 

But I continued to check in on Low, especially in recent years. The little production tricks of Ones and Sixes were cool, but not enough to lure me back in for repeated listens. The opposite was true for Double Negative, an album that leaned so heavily into a mangled and manipulated production style that I must’ve listened to it a half dozen times as I tried to parse out my feelings on it before ultimately deciding that the sonics felt more developed than the actual songs. I had a similar initial reaction to HEY WHAT. Yeah, it’s a cool SOUNDING album... but what’s underneath all that compression, distortion, and filtering? I mean, this is a band that’s adhered to the bass / drums / guitar / two vocals thing for several decades, and suddenly the instrumentation has devolved into digital ether and blasts of blown-out electric crunch. 

So why did this Low album work for me? As I’ve mentioned earlier, there hasn’t been a lot of new vocal-forward music in my life lately, and then we have this record that seems centered on vocals to the point where they’re often the only thing in the mix that hasn’t been manipulated into abstraction. The harmonies between Parker and Sparhawk can be complex, but the verse/chorus nature of the songs is very traditional and homespun. These are essentially folk songs where all the accompaniments are channeled through an elaborate chain of effects until it sounds more like some broken electronic album with the needle buried in the red as opposed to a hushed slowcore record. 

My personal Rosetta stone for HEY WHAT was “Days Like These,” a simple two-verse song that takes a tranquil chord progression on guitar and blasts it through heavily gated distortion on its second pass. Once the second verse is finished, the song dissolves into soothing drones. In a little over five minutes, it traverses from a bucolic indie song to a crushing everything-in-your-face experimental pop tune to a floating-in-the-womb ambient composition. Not since Yankee Hotel Foxtrot has a band taken the folk song template and completely transformed it with noise, negative space, and unorthodox textures. 

And the best thing about HEY WHAT is that it’s made me reevaluate my takes on the more recent Low records. Perhaps I was wrong. I definitely look forward to going back and revisiting Double Negative and Ones and Sixes, and I imagine I’ll dig back even further after that. But for now, I’m still enjoying my immersion in HEY WHAT. 

#low #everyrecordiown

[chierushi]

Hello by SEVENTEEN

Around 2017, I saw Pretty U (dance version) being shown almost every week at someone’s house. Their kid really liked them. Eventually, the KPop group kind of grew on me after watching it for several times, and they really do have good choreography.

I got curious and searched them up on YouTube. They’ve got more insane dances. They debuted around 2015, and were getting attention by that time, so I’ve got a lot of material to consume. I kept watching their dance rehearsal videos and ended up listening to those songs on repeat.

Simply stating this as a matter of fact: I’m usually not into KPop. It’s hard for me to fancy songs I can’t understand. I also actively refuse viewership to anything mainstream, thinking they don’t need more fans. I prefer to consume less known artists. But in the case of SVT, they demanded to make an exception. They spoke to me through dance, a universal language, and I heard their plea.

Even though I’ve watched their rehearsals a lot of times, I didn’t bother to know their names. Without effort, I could distinguish faces of S.Coups, Vernon, DK, Woozi, and The8 whenever they’re at the center. (There was no way for me to see their faces up close because I didn’t watch any of the official music videos, too. They’re 13 people; usually the cameras were setup too far the whole time to cover all of them) The reasons: S.Coups, The8, and DK have pretty recognizable voices, while Vernon and Woozi have distinct physical features.

Their first singles were pop, to which I lean more into. But around 2019, they became more rock, hip-hop, and EDM. I was probably not yet ready for those at that time, or maybe it was a mismatch of interest. I moved on.

This year, 2022. Most of the people I follow on stan twitter became fond of Mingyu and Wonwoo. While the retweets were mostly about shipping them (it is a BL stan Twitter, of course the gays go gaga over Mingyu and Wonwoo separately, and together, they’re a match made in heaven), Some do include their performances. Remembering how badly I was into them years ago, I muted all possible keywords and specific accounts.

Frankly though, I did check on their discography once or twice during my denial phase. They still didn’t appeal to me, not as much as what happened back then. I let the MinWon content on my timeline and just skipped through those tweets.

A few weeks ago, I saw a video compilation of all their dance rehearsals from past to present…and it got me HOOKED. That was probably either nostalgia or anxiety (I’m having depressive episodes these days) that turned things around. I started watching their performances again on YouTube, and had ‘em playing in the background at shuffle while at work. This time, I’ve got so much more discoveries.

It took me a week overconsuming Going Seventeen (a variety show of some sort that they host) funny clips to be able to recognize who’s who. This is also the reason why I’m dead hyper fixed on them. They’re not Running Man-level kind of variety, and they’re idols, not comedians, but I enjoy their dynamics as a group. It’s fun seeing each of them interact with quiet members, steal the spotlight (and some of them are shameless about this, which is alright! They’re celebrities!), their natural comic timing, etc.

I’ve seen clips of them as teenagers who are trainees, and I think that’s one of their secrets. They’ve been literally living with each other for so long (and as kids even) that they have learned who needs more attention, compassion, and who needs to be left alone on most days. They’ve seen each other’s quirks and have learned to be okay with it. They’ve learned to adjust for each other willingly. Combining family with work is tough, but they manage it somehow. Of course, with unending dance practices, that kind of relationship helped their performance to get to the level of where they are now. When they dance, they move as one. The synchronization is crazy.

All this, I also have to give credits to S.Coups wonderful leadership. He’s always the first one to look out for each of them, yet, you don’t feel the hierarchy. He is bossy, even the members have joked about this, yet they willingly submit to him because respect has been earned (probably also recognizing seniority is an Asian thing). They are so varied individuals, and sometimes you can feel the struggle of some to connect, but it is S.Coups that always makes way, and the members follow. I rarely see that side of him though; he’s always having fun with everyone, even being teased.

I’ve seen this one video of them singing live of mash-up of their songs, and they’re really amazing! They are grouped into three sub-units, but all of them can really sing, dance, and rap with ease; I sometimes question why there’s a need to divide themselves when they can all sing and dance really well.

In October, they will be having a concert here in Manila, and I want to come! It has always been a dream of mine to watch them perform live, but knowing how KPop fandom works, I doubt if I’ll get VIP tickets. As much as possible, I don’t want a seat far from the stage, and only see them on a big screen. I want to see them up close, not breathe the same air. It’s better to watch the stream if that’s the case. Getting into this, I thought, it’s kind of dangerous for someone like me, because I have no kids, no dating life, and I earn more than enough to cover my bills.

Anyway, I’ll see if I’ll have the energy to fight for a good seat on that concert, or if my laziness would continue to topple everything, even my love for Jun (one of the members and my bias). I don’t really have an idea how to end this dump; I think it’s obvious from how poorly written this blog is. But yeah~ I love them.

#chierushiblogs #personal #saythename #seventeen #svt #say the name seventeen

[collegeoflore]

Do you have any songs or albums you associate with Xarrai and Ieriyn? It could be the lyrics of a song, the themes of an album, or just the general vibes of either, it doesn't matter why.

Bonus question: Do you have any OTP/ship songs for them and their LIs?

oooh boy do i. i’ll be real my ieriyn playlist is still such a wip that im just gonna answer this for xarrai BUT i will say. my love mine all mine is theeee gale/ieriyn song to me right now. and their ship tag is from abstract (psychopomp) by hozier. :3

combined i have about 6 hours worth of xarrai playlists (solo and xarrai/astarion) so picking like An Album or even just a couple of songs is rly hard LOL. most of them are good fits lyrics wise but some are more for vibes/feel! so i don’t spend my entire day answering this ask i’ll drop the first song i put on their playlist + the most recent song i put on there and links to both playlists :3

first song: grey veins by ls dunes

i saw dunes live right before i started playing bg3 and so had the album on repeat while i was developing xar’s character. grey veins was The First Xar Song lol

most recent song: wage wars get rich die handsome by the mountain goats

idk what to tell you those are simply their goals in life LOL. the vibe and the lyrics fit well and i just also rly fucking love this song i’ve been jamming to it like all week.

favorite song: this changes like daily but today i’m gonna say the old witch sleep and the good man grace by the amazing devil

is this The Most Xarrai Song on the playlist? maybe not. but the “i’ve been here so many times before / don’t you think i look pretty / curled up on this bathroom floor?” line followed by the “sometimes i fall to pieces / just to see which bits of me don’t fit” line Especially conjures Such a specific vignette of their earlier life for me navigating getting out of the cult/survival sex work/actually transitioning/etc. the rest of the song is also very them tho esp the second half.

fav song from the ship playlist: like real people do by hozier

i’m diseased. it’s thee xarrastarion song and the only reason it’s not their tag is bc i didn’t want a song Title as a tag and every other line in the song was too long for me to want to write it all the time. so shout out to who we are also by hozier for their ship tag ig but real xarrastarion fans know like real people do is theee song

xarrai playlist // xarrastarion playlist

#idk why i bothered hiding my government name on those screenshots bc i did just link the playlists. but whatever #i love my fully unedited xarrastarion screenshot as the cover for the ship one lol #every time i get a really good screenshot of them together i Do change the cover. #sorry for being a diseased apple music user unfortunately i’m sick (broke and mooching off my brother’s apple fam) #漫言 #oc. xarrai #r. hold me like a knife #oc. ieriyn #r. see how it shines #< they got honorable mentions still

[dilesxpressions]

Jenny Yee

1. Name, Year, Major, and Hometown

Jenny Yee, 2nd Year, Pharmaceutical Chemistry into a Human Development, from San Francisco

2. What’s your roman empire?

My roman empire is thinking about what Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez could’ve been if he never married Hailey LOL.

3. What is the best compliment you have ever received?

The best compliment I’ve ever received is “You smell good”.

4. If your life was a movie what genre would it be (comedy, horror, drama, etc.) and what actor would play you?

If my life was a movie, it would be an action movie. Played by Adam Sandler. 

5. What is something on your college bucket list?

Something on my college bucket list is going on a trip with my friends to SoCal (so basic) or outside the state.

6. What’s your guilty pleasure? (song, movie, food etc.)

My guilty pleasure is putting a song I like on repeat until I memorize all the lyrics.

7. What are your bad habits?

My bad habit is leaving my clothes on my chair instead of hanging them back in my closet. My chair tends to look like a big blob. 

8. What are your favorite song lyrics?

My favorite song lyrics right now is from Die Hard by Kendrick Lamar: “I hope I’m not too late to set my demons straight, I know I made you wait, but how much can you take, I hope you see the God in me, I hope you can see”. 

9. Defend your unpopular opinion/ hot take

My unpopular opinion is the hype with Taco Bell. 

10. Describe a time where you had to step up and be a leader?

A time where I had to step up and be a leader was when I had to be in a group project for BIS10 and the assignment was to create a video of a specific disease. It was an assigned group so I was with people that I had just met. Our group was really productive in terms of meeting deadlines and communicating about certain roles, but when it came to creating the video it wasn’t the most appealing. Except one person in our group went MIA and didn’t do any of the work he was assigned. As for the video, one of my group members made her version using Google Slides, but we all agreed it wasn’t the best so I ended up recreating it using an animation app. The video took me 2 days to complete, and I felt like I did more for the class than I should have. That is how I had to step up and be a leader.

#gudechaco's giggling pussy crushers

[blue-eyed-bloodstains]

When was the last time you didn’t want to get out of bed? always lol

Do you save cards from your birthday/x-mas, etc? yeah

When was the last time you’ve gone shopping with a friend? many many years

What is your favorite kind of salad dressing? ranch and balsamic vinaigrette 

If given the chance, would you go to Ireland? definitely! that’s a big part of my heritage/nationality

If you’re not already, when do you plan on getting married? god only knows at this point...been together 7 years, engaged for 2 but we just haven’t been able to save up or even start planning, plus he’s barely ever home cause work sends him everywhere constantly for long periods of time...

Is there anything that you should be doing right now? not at the moment

Have you watched a t.v show lately that you haven’t watched in forever? court shows, used to be routine during the day but it’s been a few months and just did the other day

Are you currently in a relationship? If so, how long have you been dating? yeah, been together 7 years and engaged for 2...Feb 13-14 is our anniversary of dating/together, Christmas day 2020 is engagement anniversary. lived together since December 1, 2016 so a little under a year into the relationship we moved in together

Do you use normal batteries or rechargeable ones? rechargeable

Do strapless bras work for you? never really tried one but not sure if one would work

What was the last video game you played, if any? Pokemon Scarlet

Out of Biology, Chemistry and Physics, which are you the best at? never got to take Chemistry or Physics so biology either way but I was real good at it too so

Is there a friend you can always talk to about anything? yeah

What is/or was your graduating year? high school 2010

Have you had a weird dream lately? you have nooooo idea

Do you own a pair of slippers? yeah slip on Ugg slippers gray with no back and furry inside, suede on the outside

Cutting your hair extremely short, would you do it? I completely shaved my head summer of 2021, and I’ve cut my hair short many times all my life and I’m way overdue for a haircut right now so yeah lol

Do you like your nose? I guess yeah

How soon is your birthday? it’s today actually lol I’m 31

Are you one of those people who listen to songs on repeat? yep

Do you have piano fingers? if you mean long and thin? yeah

Is there a movie that makes you cry every single time you watch it? several

What is the first letter of the person’s name you last kissed? Z

Is there an accent you prefer? I’m a sucker for Brit accents for sure, and I love a good country drawl ;)

Where exactly are you right now? home on the couch

Have you ever been in a parade? not in one no

Would you ever consider being a news reporter? yeah

Do people say you look your age? Or younger or older? younger, I look forever 16-18 lol

When was the last time you swam in a pool? too long!! dying to be in one asap

Do you like seafood? omg I’d live on it if I could!

Why are people so afraid of bees? cause they don’t wanna get stung duh!

Have you ever broken a bone? only one and didn’t happen till I was 21, my right collarbone

What would you do if you saw someone turn completely inside out? O_O...okay I love horror movies but what the fuck dude...?! umm what any normal person would do and lose my shit screaming and running?!

Where’s your cell phone? next to me

Would you date the lead singer of a band? maybe

What would you do if I told you you would die today? not going there right now...

Are you coasting on potential towards the wall? what...?

How do you feel when you wake up next to a stranger? ummm...? never happens? I live with my fiance sooo

Does September depress you? only if you wake me up XD no seriously umm no reason for it to

Do you like strawberries? yeah

Do you drink coffee? hell yeah could really go for one right now actually uggh exhausted 

#survey #bored #random #about me

[chicagolive]

Hey there, Doly!

I hope your trip is going well so far, I think I saw you say you were at/in the airport and that can be very hectic so I hope it all went well! I hope you have a great time during your trip as well!

I think that would be fun, we should definitely try! And I remember I played god of war for like a week or two straight to beat it and now I’m not even sure if I beat the boss! I always wanted to continue the series but never got around to it! A game boy color, how sick!! What color did you have?

The weather keeps getting colder and I’m very excited! In the next week it’s predicted to get as low as 28F and I cannot wait!!! I love bundling up in hoodies, I have so many. It never really snows down here so I’ve never experienced having to shovel off snow or drive on icy roads like that, i bet it’s tiresome. Here’s to hoping you don’t have to deal with that when you get back from your trip!

Unfortunately I’m not seeing Louis next year 😔 I want to more than absolutely anything but I get very anxious being in a very crowded space like that with covid still around. I’ve got like weird anxiety about being sick/medical stuff so I haven’t been to a concert in a super long time and I’m so bummed ☹️ plus atm I’ve not got the cash or anyone to go with.

Oh, yay! I think I’m gonna get it soon as well, by the end of the year at least so maybe we can have a little book club or something and talk about it! I’d love to hear what you think about it!

All This Time really is amazing. I love so many lyrics in it as well. I adore the “and I keep on building mountains, hoping that they’ll turn to gold. But the truth is I still doubt that what I do can get me home.” And I love when he switches I with you later in the song and the lyric you said is absolutely iconic. He just never misses man. I adore him. Also, I’m so glad to see another who loves Chicago!!! It’s one of my absolute favorites, in my top of the album, and I hate how little credit she’s given 😔 I think my favorite part in Chicago is when he says “I didnt have to search cause I still know your number.” But it’s the one that’s different towards the end, every time it makes me wanna scream it just scratches my brain so well and I freak every time I hear it.

I love she, a true masterpiece. I remember one time I laid in my room in the dark on the floor just listening to she on repeat with like purple lighting and it was such a weird feeling but a good one. The adore you video is also one of my favs.

I love museums and I’ve actually been to an installation like that with neon lights!!! I wonder if it was the same artist? But it’s always a cool thing to see! And interactive museums are some of my favorite. I also love science ones like I’ve said cause I love being able to see the little critters they have at some of them like aquatic life etc.

Oooo I like the sound of your froggy keychain! May I ask what you usually have?

Oh, a great question! It was actually recently! I was at my friends house and I’m very clumsy and I’m not even sure how it happened but I tripped over myself I guess and took a whole chair with me, with a drink in my hand! Kept my drink up and once my friend made sure I was okay we just started laughing. They said I fell like a building and so slow and it felt slow! I just thought, okay… this is happening. And just fell. I was between the big chair and a couch and my leg was kinda pinned! Got a little sore from it but it was quite funny since we’d literally that day talked about how I fell completely backwards onto the floor while in a chair awhile ago and just how funny it was when that happened so I guess I jinxed myself!! What about you?

Okay, speed round of the day!!!

What’s your favorite kind of cake? I think mine is cheesecake!

Do you paint your nails? I want to paint mine more frequently but I’m honestly awful at it and don’t have the patience for it

Do you prefer to write in pen or pencil? I love writing in pen but I make too many mistakes buuut I still will write in it sometimes!!!

Do you like sprinkles? I personally am not a big fan!! I’m not sure why, I think it might be just the taste is kinda nothing to me?

Do you carry around a purse or tote? I carry around this huge purse that is an absolute mess and I put everything in it! It’s just one big pocket and I just throwing anything and everything in it!!

Hope you’re having a good day/night! Talk to ya soon!! ❤️

-🎉❄️

Heyyy, lovely!! Happy Friday!! Hope your day is going smoothly!! The weekend is upon us, finally!! 💕✨

Thank you, hun!! The plane ride was…an experience lol. There was a lot of turbulence for the first hour of the flight. Which, I’m not afraid of getting on a plane, but turbulence makes the trip just as anxiety inducing. When there was around an hour left, it settled down. I haven’t been on the island for 12 hrs and the mosquitoes have already made a meal out of me 😭. Nonetheless, the tropical weather is hitting the spot!!

So, technically, my cousin had a gameboy color (it was the lime green one) that I would play every now and then until I got my own. To correct my error, I had the gameboy advance sp (the one that flipped like a flip phone lol) in gray while my brother had it in blue. I was obsessed with it until the development of the Nintendo ds. That franchise defined my childhood as we know it lol. I was obsessed with nintendogs and I have so many play hours on it, it’s ridiculous!! Did you have any of these child-defining handheld games lol?!

Sadly, it gets worse within the January/February season. It’s not much snow, per se, but it’s gets very icy and a lot colder. Yesterday, there was a weather warning in my area because of the mix of sleet/snowfall. Glad I got out of there before it got worse lol. Enjoy the colder weather for me!!

Oh no!! 🥺 I totally get that though!! Earlier this year, I saw him while standing in the pit. While I had a good time, I despise the idea of pits!! I want to dance and have a good time in my seated spot rather than be crushed by the people around me. To be fair, I think I was the annoying one in my sector trying to sing/dance in such a confined area 😅. Oh well!! Hopefully, you get the opportunity to go!! If I could, I’d have you come with me in a heartbeat!! When you’re able to, are there any music artists you would love to see live in the future?

Yayyy, book club!! Maybe it’ll keep me motivated to keep reading lol. My TBRs is embarrassingly long atm. So far, I really enjoy the way the author is building up the setting/character in a way that even people who have no idea what happened in the Martian can understand and follow along in this characters journey without feeling completely lost and confused in the plot, like myself lol. I thoroughly enjoy it so far so I can’t wait for you to start reading it! Thank you for the recommendation!!

You, my friend, have taste!! Chicago stands on such a high pedestal for me, I don’t understand why people aren’t giving her the recognition she so rightfully deserves!! Also, that part in Chicago is just *chef’s kiss.* it truly does scratch the right part of your brain just right!! I scream those lyrics out like it’s my last breath on the drive to/from work lol.

Your entire description of your she experience? Love that for you!!

I have a picture of a book the artist wrote on said installation. The artists name is Dan Flavin, if that rings a bell (it didn’t initially for me cause I forgot his name completely until I looked it up lol). I remember going to the Smithsonian museum in middle school and we jumped from museum to museum and it had everything from animals and evolution to sea life to history to human biology!! It was great!! I wanna go back some day!!

One of my older keychains was a SpongeBob lanyard and on it was my car keys, a keychain that was given to me by my roommate in college from when we went to Florence (which sadly broke; I gotta fix it), a SpongeBob keychain that depicts this photo of Mr. Krabs (this took forever for me to find on google, for some reason)

A Kirby keychain plushie. That’s about it from what I can remember lol. Now a days, I keep it simple just cause it’s easier to carry around.

Omg lol! The good thing is you’re okay! It’s the best of friends that can take such an inconvenience that happens in the moment and remind you of it at the worst of times!! More times than not, it becomes funny all over again!! If I’m being honest, I can’t remember the most recent time I laughed so hard, I almost cried. There was this one time my sophomore year of college, I can’t remember what prompted it to start though. All I remember is my one roommate and I on the floor in tears while my other roommates and our very recent friend just looked at us like we were insane, which didn’t help because it just made us laugh even more! It was great lol. Definitely one of those moments you just had to be there to understand.

Speed Round Answers!! Fav. Cake? I have to agree with you and say cheesecake!! I’m not a huge fan of traditional cake. I’ll eat it, but I’m not crazy for it. “Painted Nails make Harry beautiful” (lol)? I do sometimes. Because my nails break easily, I always take the opportunity to paint them while they’re just as the right length before they eventually break. Right now, they’re just clear, but.l I love switching between colors!! Pen or Pencil? I, too, enjoy writing in pen, but I always have the anxiety of messing up my writing when I do, so I tend to write in pencil. At work, I write with pens most of the day, so I use that to practice my penmanship. Sprinkles? Not really, but on the rarest occasion, I’ll have them with soft serve vanilla! Purse? I collect loungefly bags, but for about two years now, I’ve been using my travel Fanny pack as my universal purse cause it’s easier to have with me. When I get back home, I can show you the different kinds that I have, if you’re interested in knowing (it’s okay if you’re not lol). 🎄✨

[alsjeblieft-zeg]

179 of 2022

When was the last time you didn’t want to get out of bed?

Now. I went to sleep at midday and I don’t think it’s normal.

Do you save cards from your birthday/x-mas, etc?

I do, but these days cards are rare.

When was the last time you’ve gone shopping with a friend?

If my husband counts as friend and groceries count as shopping, then yesterday.

What is your favorite kind of salad dressing?

Like, yogurt or something? I never know.

If given the chance, would you go to Ireland?

I would, definitely.

If you’re not already, when do you plan on getting married?

I am already, so you’re too late with this question.

Is there anything that you should be doing right now?

Yeah, waking up.

Have you watched a t.v show lately that you haven’t watched in forever?

Yes, I’ve found a few episodes on YouTube. It’s a TV series I haven’t seen in 20 years or so.

Are you currently in a relationship? If so, how long have you been dating?

I’m married since this year, but we’ve been together for four years.

Do you use normal batteries or rechargeable ones?

Mostly rechargeable. In the end, it goes cheaper than buying new ones all the time.

Do strapless bras work for you?

I don’t wear bras. I don’t need them.

What was the last video game you played, if any?

I don’t play video games, my brain doesn’t handle flashing lights very well.

Out of Biology, Chemistry and Physics, which are you the best at?

Physics, but I’ve been always good at them all.

Is there a friend you can always talk to about anything?

All my friends. I wouldn’t call them friends if I didn’t trust them.

What is/or was your graduating year?

2010.

Have you had a weird dream lately?

All my dreams are weird. They consist of people and places I know, but in surreal arrangement, if that makes sense. I dream a lot about ruined/abandoned buildings and empty landscapes, too.

Do you own a pair of slippers?

No, I don’t even wear such things.

Cutting your hair extremely short, would you do it?

I shaved my head once and I have no regrets.

Do you like your nose?

I got used to it.

How soon is your birthday?

Next year.

Are you one of those people who listen to songs on repeat?

If I happen to like a song and it corresponds with my mood, then definitely yes.

Do you have piano fingers?

Like, long and thin? It’s called arachnodactyly and yeah, I do have it.

Is there a movie that makes you cry every single time you watch it?

I don’t even watch movies.

What is the first letter of the person’s name you last kissed?

Let’s say J.

Is there an accent you prefer?

Yeah, British for English-speakers and West-Flemish for Dutch speakers (I speak with West-Flemish accent myself, so yeah, lots of local patriotism here XD)

Where exactly are you right now?

In my liviong room, on the chair by the sining table, in front of my computer.

Have you ever been in a parade?

No, I don’t think so.

Would you ever consider being a news reporter?

No, talking in front of cameras is ew to me.

Do people say you look your age? Or younger or older?

Everyone says I look way younger.

When was the last time you swam in a pool?

Two years ago or something.

Do you like seafood?

No, I don’t. I’m a weird Belgian.

Why are people so afraid of bees?

Because they sting? But bees are useful and harmless if you only leave them alone.

Have you ever broken a bone?

No, I haven’t. For a person with weak joints, I have really strong bones.

What would you do if you saw someone turn completely inside out?

I’d bring popcorn and watch. I’m not easily disgusted or whatever. I even wanted to be a surgeon at some point in my life.

Where’s your cell phone?

Next to me.

Would you date the lead singer of a band?

I’d date a guy I have feelings for, and if he happened to be a lead singer of the band... well, shit happens.

What would you do if I told you you would die today?

Don’t trigger me, I’ve almost died last year.

Are you coasting on potential towards the wall?

Is this a line from a song or something?

How do you feel when you wake up next to a stranger?

Why would I even wake up next to a stranger?

Does September depress you?

No, it doesn’t. Usually.

Do you like strawberries?

Yeah I do. One of my favourite fruits.

Do you drink coffee?

I do, every day.

#survey #q&a survey #random survey

[barbiegirldream]

A little break down of the absolute shit show that was Yesterday. 

-The day before Yesterday, Dream releases an animated version of his song Mask. Most people are supportive and happy. 

-Then twitter is made aware that there is a scene where Dream dumps his meds. They then proceed to attack Dream for his personal experience with medication for his own ADHD. Essentially invalidating him because it doesn’t fit a mold of what they think someone with ADHD should be like. A lot of the ableists come out to play when they see Dream has negative attention on him again. 

-Dream responds to this with a joke about 🎵Drugs Drugs🎵 being perfectly okay. Basically trying to point out that people saying he’s influencing kids say nothing about the tons of other songs that talk about drugs. 

-Some members of the Black community expressed discomfort and distress at this. Basically it is a microaggression, so a small comment or action that on its own is not malicious but can be offensive to a minority. Basically if you’re a minority you know but it’s little things that pile up and up and most often people are not being racist/homophobic/ableist etc but their learned behaviors and internalized behaviors can come out. It’s draining to be confronted with them all of the time and you never know what will be the final comment that breaks your back. 

-Dream then deletes his response and apologizes saying he never had any intention of offending Black individuals and that he only wants to foster a community where black individuals feel safe to speak. So basically thanking them for calling it out and to his attention because he wants to learn. He also linked a list of black creators he thinks would be good to follow. 

-On the flip side Dream also stated he does not think his community is anti-black. Now young and newer content creators like Dream often conflate their communities as reflections of themselves so it is likely to Dream he doesn’t think his community is anti-black because he himself is not. This is something most content creators soon realize is false. Dream’s fanbase is anti-black. And there is hate against well everyone all of the time. It’s a massive fanbase. 

-Now what should have happened was Dream’s black fans because he does indeed have them should have this opportunity to talk to their cc and explain that there are issues within the community. Because if there is one thing Dreams fans know it’s that he is honestly so willing to learn and grow. 

-What did happen instead was Twitter went on a cancelling crusade. They stated claiming Dream posted that tweet to hate on black people and that he does hate them. They started dragging up the faked tweets of him saying slurs. They began sending self harm and gore videos to his fans. They began saying vile shit to black members of Dream’s community. (Slurs and accusing them of being race traitors essentially... for liking a Minecraft youtuber) They dug up shit that was already proven false or wildly out of context and have been addressed before which adds nothing to the conversation. 

-Then a picture of a teenager, from what I’ve heard, at a sport game was circulated out as “doxxed” Dream. This young boy who is not Dream was then dragged through the Twitter ringer. People used the unpopularity of Dream to express their fatphobia (the same way they do with ableism) onto this poor kid. I hope to god he never hears about this. 

-Okay so now Dream has stated he is going to be taking a break from Twitter which he deserves.

-Dream made an off color comment. immediately admitted he saw later how it could upset people, deleted it, and said he wants to do better. And despite what people think Dream really does not repeat his mistakes it’s just so many things about him being racist are faked it’s hard to see that. But instead of this being a learning opportunity for Dream’s non black fans or a platform for Dream’s black fans to speak out, this turned into a vile and toxic stream of shit where the people calling out Dream were being far more toxic than he ever has been. It was in general a usual day on Twitter but it got much more out of hand than usual. 

-Twitter is not a good place for any growth or change to happen. They don’t want it to happen. The mob has decided that viciously attacking someone to the point is has severe effects probably not just on their mental health but on many others is social justice. It’s not it is frankly just disgusting. 

-Honestly Yesterday was a good chance for an honest discussion about Dream’s community and what he could do to help. Which I feel like I saw happening on Tumblr. Yet it got so out of control so fast that I can’t even imagine the pressure. 

I am absolutely positive my brother and I have made slightly off jokes without even thinking about it. And yes we have no platform like Dream does but imagine being 21 so maybe a little younger a little older than you but still without a fully developed brain and a joke defending yourself from ableism is taken so wildly out of context people start sending you death threats knowing full well you struggle with mental health. I just- I the thought of being so heavily watched all of the time makes me sick. Calling someone out can foster growth. Trying to literally ruin their lives never will. 

I hope some actual discussions can come of this once Twitter gets down off their dumpster fire they call a horse and everyone is more calm.

#dreamwastaken #discourse #negativity #long post

[kaijime]

Can I get some dom Kenma please? The thought of that man choking me makes my brain go brrrr

learn your lesson

includes. kenma kozume

cw. fem reader, dom content, lingerie?, begging, panty stuffing, choking, bratty reader, masturbation

wc. 1.2k words

a/n. isn’t it funny how a piece of lingerie can inspire to write a request that’s been in your inbox for over a month?... yeah...

It’s been a long time since you and Kenma got in the mood. It always took a lot of convincing to take him to bed, but as much as he whined about it he would always take over with as dominant. Even if you were on top, he’d control your every move, telling you how to do this, when to do that, etc.

It’s frustrating to be in the mood for him while he’s busy playing with his friends, and teasing him often led to trouble, but it was the quickest way to get him to pound you into the mattress. Maybe that’s why you decided to tease him.

You looked at yourself one last time in the mirror, everything seemed to be in place. The blue mesh hugged the curve of your breast, while small flower patterns were littered on the fabric. You’d bought this a long time ago, but you’d never had a chance to wear it for him.

Well not until now.

You made your way to his gaming room, not too far away from your bedroom, but you could still feel your stomach sink on the way there, the anticipation for his reaction was killing you, but having second thoughts right now was an idiotic idea.

There was no taking it back, not when you’d already pushed the door open and walked over to stand next to him. Even if you were right by his side, he didn’t even spare you a glance.

“Kenma?” You called out to him, he just shook his hand in your direction. It was his little way of telling you ‘not right now’, it was also your last chance to go back to your room, take off your little outfit and avoid a punishment. But you weren’t going down now, you made it this far.

You swung a leg over his, positioning yourself between his lap and rubbing up against his bulge. His eyes fell on your exposed body, finally giving you the attention you needed, even if it was just a small look.

“Kenma?” You repeated, this time in a sing-song voice, teasing him even further. Even if he hadn’t said a word, you knew what was going on in his mind: he was searching for ways to make you cry, to make you suffer for what you did.

“What is this?” The questions fell off his lips in a sweet tone, like he knew exactly what this was, but he wanted to hear it straight from your mouth.

“I missed you Kenma, I’ve been so needy and-... a-and I want you” you whispered close to his ear.

“Want me to do what, kitten?” He teased.

“Want you to fill me up, to stuff me full, please...”

“What was that Kenma? You’re cutting off” you heard Kuroo’s voice over the blonde’s headphones,

“Yeah, my internet is acting strange” he shot you a look with something you couldn’t quite decipher, it was a mix of anger and lust “I’m gonna mute myself for a second, see if it works better”

“Alright” Kuroo replied. As soon as he muted his microphone he put the controller aside and put his hands on either sides of your hips, straddling you against his already hard member.

Aside from the feelings of want and need you were going through, you also had a sense of pride. You’d convinced him to fuck you, and all you had to do was put on a pretty outfit for him. Normally there would be a punishment involved, but this time he’d gotten down so easily. How foolish of you to think that.

You leaned in to kiss him, your lips barely inches from each other and if you’d just go closer... but he stopped you. He let out a warm chuckle, and at first you thought nothing of it, until one of his hands came up from your hip to your jaw, holding it with brute force. He didn’t care of he’d leave a bruise, he just wanted to teach you a lesson.

“Ah- Kenma... let go, it hurts” your hand grips his wrist, trying to tear his hand away to no avail.

“Oh, but I thought you liked it when it hurt, I though you said you were my little masochist, aren’t you?”

“Y-yes but this isn-“

“Shut up, you brought this onto yourself, stand up and take off your panties” he instructed. You stood up, still on top of him and slid off the revealing piece of clothing. When you were about to throw it to the side he grabbed it in his hand and lowered you down just enough to have a small space between his crotch and your dripping heat.

He’d made it clear he was going to punish you, but the fact you didn’t know how he was going to do it was killing you slowly.

You watched as he bunched up the panties in one of his hands and took said hand to your cunt, prodding his fabric covered fingers at your hole.

“Kenma, what are you-“

“You better not start whining, you said you wanted to be stuffed” he pushed the mesh fabric in your hole with one finger and watched as your face was turned into a lewd mess.

“Y-yeah but not-“

“You didn’t say how you wanted to be stuffed, so you better take it now. You ungrateful whore, I give you what you’ve been asking for and you give me such a shitty response?” He clicked his tongue, seemingly in disappointment. He continued to shove the underwear up your heat as you held onto his shoulders.

“Hahh-! Kenma!” He shushed you before tucking the last piece of fabric between your folds and running his hands through your heat, he touched the small strings that hung out of your hole and lightly tugged them.

“K-ken-“

“When will you learn to shut up?” He seemed so much meaner than other days, maybe you pushed him over the edge today. “I’ve had enough of your bratty behavior”

“‘m sorry, just wanted you to fuck me, pl-please” you begged. At least you felt full, you told yourself.

“You’re always playing these tricks and you always end up getting punished, haven’t you learned your lesson?” At that moment you played with the thought of telling him you hadn’t, maybe he’d finally give you what you wanted and fuck you.

“So what if I- if I haven’t learned my lesson? What are you going to do about it?” Those were the last words you were able to mutter out before you felt his hand wrap around your neck and lift you a bit higher.

“What am I going to do? Hm, I’m not going to do anything. You? You’re going to lay down on the floor and play with yourself until you cum” he commanded.

“But I can’t if I have these inside” you grabbed the little strings and showed them to Kenma as proof.

“I don’t care how you do it, but you’re going to make it happen. Understood?” He looked at you with cold eyes, and didn’t even give you a second to think about it before a hard slap hit your thigh. He repeated his question “Understood?”

“Yes, daddy” and with that you lifted yourself and laid on the floor, massaging your clit in hopes it would magically made you cum. You knew it wouldn’t, you never came just from touching your clit, but any effort was good when you were trying to escape your inevitable punishment.

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