#external activities

[viktoriakomova]

I’m so glad that none of the ~30 people [generous estimate] left on here as active gymblr folx are the type of bitches to say shit like “US Olympic trials are more exciting than the actual Olympics”

#there are few heaux remaining but there really is very little nonsense to Discourse about #like it’s always responses to external nonsense that we discourse about tbh and i think that’s great!!!! #bc those of us still here are all on the same page and everyone dumb has been blocked and/or disengaged to the point where being acti #*active on here isn’t rewarding to their microdick-coded egos lmao

[urloveangel]

what if… you’re not lazy, broken, wrong, not good enough, unmotivated, flaky, emotionless but your brain is still recovering from chronic stress and childhood trauma and is relearning how to regulate and sustain your serotonin and dopamine levels, and process your emotions and responses… WHAT IF

#realizing and processing stuff #like sometimes I still feel like I have to on purpose volume up what I actually feel internally to really feel it and #then show it externally #I don’t know how to explain it exactly #but it can be so uncomfortable but then that’s one of the ways I can relearn that it’s safe to feel and express these emotions….. #🙈 #there are so many aspects to it #motivation and drive to do things can be a struggle too #so often my mind and body Jusf want to go into the hiding shutdown freeze mode #it’s really all about creating safe space for myself and seeing myself and all the parts tjay want to hide #like actively seeing and supporting myself #and being my friend lover partner parent #❤️ #self healing #healing journey #trauma #mental health #stress #chronic stress #anxiety #depression #self love #self care #spirituality #inner child #mine #spiritual healing #energy work #inner work #surrender

[a-polite-melody]

Something that’s really bothered me seeing posts about the US election? Which has come mostly from people like myself who are not American?

“Well if you vote for Biden you obviously don’t care about Palestine and think Palestinians are lesser than Americans!”

First of all, I do understand that some people think that Biden would be worse than Trump in the continued US involvement with the I/P conflict. I don’t think I agree. There isn’t really a known answer here. Biden has been awful. Trump would also be awful.

But second, and the thing I really want to talk about here?

Would you ever encourage anyone else to only consider international policy regarding one conflict when they’re voting (or choosing to instead not vote) for the leader of their country?

What about all of the people who will be directly affected, every single day, by national policy?

Or is the only way for an American able to be a good person to be self-sacrificing in the name of the Noble Savage Palestinians? Even if they would suffer and maybe even die under another Trump presidency?

People are genuinely saying, “who cares about marginalized populations in America who would be harmed by Trump?” but by way of cloaking it in, “you’re such xenophobes for not throwing out all national policy regards in order to get a (only maybe, and I don’t think likely) better president for international policy wrt Palestine.”

It bothers me for the reason I’ve already stated, but it also bothers me because it assumes that people who vote will also only vote. People who vote for Biden clearly can’t ever do anything external to electoralism, right? *rolls eyes*

I don’t know. Especially when the “you think Palestinians matter less, so you think of them as lesser people or not people at all,” is coming from a non-American completely neglecting to think about the impact of the US election on American citizens, I keep thinking that maybe someone here does think someone is less of a person or not a person at all—the people who think everyone in the US should neglect national policy concerns for one international conflict.

#my post #I wish I could in good conscience tell Americans to only vote if say the president will be good to Canada or to Ukraine or whoever else #but like… I’m not willing to say ‘ignore the policy affecting you to do this’ yknow #I’m of the opinion that voting won’t save us #but discouraging voting won’t either #you need to encourage external activities from electoralism #but you don’t need to then just never vote #it’s not a one or the other thing

[coraniaid]

No matter how much people complain about Buffy's soul lore (which, at least until the final season, is actually surprisingly consistent, albeit by the lax standards of the show), or about the adults of Sunnydale's rather oddly relaxed attitude to mysterious death-by-neck-puncture (which can at least be excused as a fairly heavy-handed metaphor for parents not noticing the challenges their children face, and is in any case simply required for the show as conceived to work at all), or about anything the Initiative get up to during Season 4 (which ... no, I've got nothing to say in defence of any of that, it's just shit, isn't it?), the single worst bit of Buffy's worldbuilding is and always will be that ridiculous magic scythe and all the utter nonsense surrounding it. Just genuinely laughably bad writing on every level.

#btvs #by nonsense I mean lore-breaking retcons like the Guardians #and Buffy having to stumble onto something external to give her a power upgrade when fighting Caleb rather than rely on her own strength #Willow's spell to activate the Potentials is very good but you do not actually need the Scythe to exist for that scene to be written #(and it looks very stupid)

[ye-olde-trojan-horse]

internally screaming at a wall because I show up to work and people have the audacity to speak to me.

#maybe i’ll externally scream too #why must the world exist #and why must it contain people #not even the coffee has helped #I got here and immediately want to go home #today is not a day #can I just skip it? #pls #nathara is active? what. #shitpost

[quaranmine]

i have high aspirations of being able to finish firewatch au this week but the reality is that i am lowkey dreading work this week and there's a high chance i will be too stressed/tired at the end of the day to write....but i dont wanna put that out into the universe prematurely because! maybe it'll be fine!

#i just have a project that is like. rapidly getting way out of control due to forces outside of me #it's just gotten very complex and....somewhat? sensitive? ugh it's not anything i could explain without sacrificing privacy lol #for example instead of coordinating with one person i now i have to coordinate with like 8 lmao #i also have just a ton of meetings and stuff this week with external partners #which always exhausts me a little because i have to run these meetings and activate Super Professional Mode for so long

[ivan-fyodorovich-k]

One of the things I have noticed is that for all the articles that extremely concretely explore all the ways that AI make life worse right now, and will continue to make life worse, the things that are "good" about AI not only remain vague. As details of the "good" parts emerge, they make it clear that even the "benefits" of AI are evil.

This article compares the specter of AI relationships romantic and otherwise to pornography incapacitating peoples' ability to have normal sexual relationships with human partners.

The bad parts of AI are bad and the good parts of AI are bad too.

#it increasingly offers you an existence of perfect solipsism #an infinite recursion of yourself into yourself where the AI knows you better than you know you #and feeds you what it knows you want #but if you have no externality from which to draw #how do you even exist? #these explorations assume that they begin with a person who grew up and acquired a personality and preferences 'in the wild' #and then the AI merges with those to make them ever more 'you' #but imagine two generations from now #where the person is born with AI #immediately the AI will not merely be giving the person what the person wants #it will be actively creating the person #as soon as the infant child shows that it prefers green over blue #an algorithmic unfolding of all the statistically probable preferences will unfold for that child #unfolding in perfect isolation from the rest of the species #this is describing a prison #why even bother with AI? #why not just pump dopamine straight into the brain

[deepdeanvsweston]

The Body In The Blitz extract!!!!!!!!!!

I'm so excited to get it I can't wait thinking too fast!!!

#internally crying with joy #about 5 minutes away from turning external #special interest is special interesting #may wong #fionnuala o malley #eric schlossblauer #ministry of unladylike activity #tmua

[vvelegrin]

man another thing that's been very nice about having moved out of my dad's house is that... i am under no obligation to convey anything to anyone <3 i don't have to tell my parents about my doctor appointments, i don't have to tell people my intentions, i don't have to defend making purchases or arranging my life in a way that makes things easier or more pleasant because people don't even have to know about these things in the first place.

it's really fucking nice.

#experienced the unfortunate combination of 'pathological anti-liar' and 'being a fucking doormat by nature or whatever' #and 'controlling father that has to know everything and will directly curtail any attempts at privacy with guilt and authority' #that i sometimes compulsively try to make someone understand things about me even when it the direct outcome of such is unpleasant #here's to breaking these habits lads #discovering that i can do things and have preferences without going to protestant hell or even worse dealing with my dad #i can even pay my Idiot Tax without the external application of guilt #that is payments or late fees or forgetting to return something that doesn't fit and et cetera #that sometimes come up on account of being a fucking mess LMAO and would be less of a thing if i achieved a level of organization #that i simply will not realistically reach at this juncture but am generally working on getting myself in order for #i just make sure i routinely set aside a lil money for potential mistakes and i deal with them as they come #without the song and dance of being actively and repeatedly scolded as an adult for regular person mistakes #prattling about the self #edit to note that yeah i know there are times when i should convey things to people but you know what i mean

[winepresswrath]

An important thing about Aziraphale is that he cares so much about being good, but also, he is only ok at it. Not terrible! Just mediocre. Very brave and trying his absolute best with mixed results. To paraphrase the book, neither fundamentally good nor fundamentally bad but fundamentally Aziraphale. He is however trying very hard to save the entire planet and that is really very lovely of him and should count for a lot, especially because his hot not-boyfriend finally made a move after six thousand horny, horny years and he could easily have chosen to get really spectacularly laid instead of reviewing organizational flowcharts and being trapped in meetings with people who hate each other only slightly less than they hate him.

#what he is actively quite bad at #in my opinion at least #is being a friend/boyfriend/codependent romantic bestie #To be fair to him he has never tried to be good at this before #he has spent the vast majority of his relationship with Crowley denying and downplaying that relationship #sometimes because he's afraid of external consequences (reasonable! so reasonable) #sometimes because he's afraid that it's actually Wrong to love him much less side with him (make up your mind dude you've been thwarting #god's will together since 2500 bce apparently) #but how do you get into the habit of being good to someone under those conditions? #metaphorical internalized homophobia that cannot help but be externalized onto the object of your affections rings sadly true #like it is just very hard to be decent to someone when you're genuinely afraid that there might be something fundamentally broken and evil #in them especially if you're also afraid the same thing might be broken and evil in you . #when you are afraid that extending empathy and understanding to someone else is just self indulgence and selfish gratification of your own #desires it is very easy to sabotage your better impulses #and it's not that Aziraphale doesn't basically know this is bullshit but imo that is why the idea of Crowley as an Angel again is such #a relief to him and he genuinely manages to convince himself it can fix everything #but that is not the same thing as Aziraphale going back to heaven! #good omens

[zvaigzdelasas]

"AI can make art without human interaction because at the end of the day, it does exactly what humans do with art - break each new piece of art down to the quantifiable basis vectors that you've implicitly constructed about 'art in general' and then faithfully reproduce a new observation of that 'art in general' by smoothly interpolating between observed instantiations of those basis vectors.

You know, like how humans do"

#the joke is that it can be argued that if you do art like an ai youre not necessarily doing art youre producing commodities #assumption being that 'art' stands in an internal tension with a society whose subjectivity is shaped by the commodity form #which i think is pretty inarguable - the argument is over how that tension can be reconciled #i think a salient difference to point out that distinguishes human from ai is the countability of the set of basis vectors #i wouldnt disagree that humans do 'break down' art in some capacity - otherwise 'style' would be entirely singular #the point is really 'how many numbers are there between 0 & 1?' #'how many subcategories are these qualia broken down into?' #i think creativity & externality depend on uncountably divisible qualia #some kind of infinity needs to sneak in somewhere to point to the outside #all this to say @ anon lol for thinking ai is like an ontological evil #but also lol @ anyone who treats the form of AI as isomorphic to the form of human activity #taylor series can absolutely objectively represent certain analytical functions - as long as the error is monotonically negative #ie so long as each subsequent member of the series 'gets closer' to a natural representation of the analytic function #mandatory disclaimer for new followers: #human use of ai for artistic purposes is art - ai cannot generate art without human interaction at some point in the sequence #ideology of the blackbox is the same as the ideology of plug-and-chug #(i know theyre the same because they transform similar inputs to similar outputs!) #& im on mobile so cant move this tag back up but i dont necessarily agree w the maximalist take of 'commodified art isnt art' #but i also think there is a qualitative difference between commodified art & non commodified art #& the ai form is actually pretty isomorphic to the value form in general imo #it cant replace all human labor but it couldnt replace any concrete human labor ... #...if that concrete form of labor hadnt become reducible to that which can be reached through gradient descent #also if u argue that the black box of 'ai breaking down art to make new art' is isomorphic to 'human breaking down art to make new art' #then an implication of that is that ai ***can make art without human interaction*** #otherwise if the blackboxes are isomorphic then why have humans in the loop? whats the qualitative difference? #the proper framing is seeing ai as an augmentation of the decision cycle of humans instead of having a 'decision cycle' themselves

[empyreanmirror]

Consciousness is alluring. The truth and the core self are like a lover undressed; you know only you will see them this way, and that when the world looks on they will see creases in fabric and face, a friend, an option. But you, when you trace your hands upon that true reflection, will know the rawness of skin and the taste of flesh that will linger through every moment you are away, and your internal eyes will forever be imprinted with their sweet perfume that only you know they wear in bed.

#necessary context that this is nondualist concept shiva and not person/deity/power of nature shiva #there are many shivas in my work. sorry for the confusion. #spiritual art #symbol: shiva #there are too many symbols in this to tag #symbol: plants #youre getting a catch all tag bc im not tagging every plant i ever use in art. its jasmine and angels trumpet here #green sections of the border are collectively. to summarise. raw organic fertility and the physical world and body #and then the red parts are sexuality and the mental world. both are about receptivity and activity and the union of both #gold ring is the ring around a black hole. the dancing lights of the external appearance (mental material and everything in between) #and the allure of impermanent reality emanating from the black unknown of Truth #anyway. thats the main stuff. other stuff like waters of the mind implying reflecting on a surface and uhhhh blue of the hair being #the waters flowing outwards are kinda... the last big things before the rest goes into subjective stuff #like the rain and water cycle references

[to-shards-you-say]

feel like i should do a psychological deep dive into why my feelings toward the redemption of dalinar and of venli are so different, with the latter impacting me far more than the former

#there are many similarities in how their drives were shaped by external forces to further violent goals #and how they have needed to own up to and suffer their own remorse in order to resist it #but i find myself still contemptuous towards dalinar #while i am actively rooting for peace for venli

[skyeventide]

the reason why I keep coming back to Tolkien is that the religious framework of goodness equalling hope equalling faith is too infuriating for me not to bump around at high speed within the worldbuilding box like a pinball, trying to find a farther limit and break free of the narrative.

#personal #JRR Tolkien #it's also why I grind my teeth so hard about maedhros and the burning silmaril #and keep underlining that the rejection is explicitly linked to varda's blessing #and not to the gem itself #there is a active divine narrative in place #a fate that is *explicitly* working to achieve something #and that is linked to SOME characters' intentions (eru is a character too) #tolkien maps his own subcreation onto creation and therefore to some extent #the internal workings of faith are mapped on the external #but this is a story and eru is a character #and the will of eru is a narrative decision not something that simply... exists on its own

[hella1975]

by pure evil accident taob zuko's current mental state is the exact same as the one ive been stuck in for the past few weeks and that's a bit funny to me. like i started writing this chapter months ago and knew what i was doing with it even longer ago and suddenly ive manifested it into reality. we are both facing the horrors rn

#when the angry character finally learns to acknowledge their rage not as its own problem but as a coping mechanism to the problem #& faces at once the relief of finding the source of all this anger & the horror of realising that the anger itself was never the final boss #and it leaves them in a depressive state where they actually MISS the anger because at least that was active and - in a sense - dignified #whereas this just feels stilted and mopey and like each day is passing and you're losing time doing nothing #but you cant shake it anyway and wow im no longer talking about zuko!!!! we stay embarassing ourselves over taob!!!! #like i realised just now while staring off into space stirring my tea that the reason this particular depressive episode has hit me so hard #(aside the fact it's been a pretty extreme one and my paranoia has rlly flared up to the point ive felt honest to god CRAZY lately haha) #is because it's so DIFFERENT to how i usually respond to feeling like this #like normally my temper gets very quick and i completely isolate and i get mean and sharp #and i convince myself that everyone is out to get me and/or hates me and therefore i must manipulate everyone in my life #and ofc NONE OF THOSE THINGS ARE A GOOD RESPONSE. I AM NOT PROUD OF THEM #THEY ARE ALSO NOT NEARLY AS BAD AS HOW I USED TO BE HENCE I KNOW I AM GETTING BETTER #SLOWLY PAINFULLY WITH MY NAILS DIGGING IN THE DIRT BUT I AM GETTING BETTER ALL THE SAME #but STILL despite how awful those things are they're also very external. like i hurt the people around me in order to protect myself #and there's a dignity to that. there's more control there even if ultimately it's a lack of control causing it #like i have some fucked opinions from my upbringing and ik that like im quite a selfish person and it's bc i was raised to truly believe #that hurting others is always optimal over letting myself be seen as weak. like if my options are to hurt someone even someone i love #or let myself be vulnerable then sometimes i STILL will pick the former (it used to be all the time though <3 progress is progress) #and anger has always been sold to me as a very dignified STRONG emotion and it's how you're SUPPOSED to respond to badness #otherwise you're weak and a baby and pathetic etc etc #and just bc you know something is wrong doesnt mean you didnt internalise the fuck out of it anyway #like i will always see anger as the 'dignified' emotion and unlearning it regardless of that has been one of the hardest things ive done #('wow hella your own journey with mental illness is the literal exact same as taob zuko's-' i will hospitalise the both of us) #whereas currently ive just been sad and pathetic and oversharing to anyone who will listen and desperate for someone to look at me #and be like 'you're not okay' and to fix it FOR ME. like im not ANGRY im SAD and im not used to that response #AND GUESS WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENS THIS CHAPTER BY PURE FUCKING COINCIDENCE?? LITERALLY WHAT #like it's been happening for a few chapters that we're finally moving from anger to sadness on my unofficial healing chart #ever since zuko's outburst with hakoda when zi se had that tantrum #but this is the first time we see Sad Coping Mechanism as a response to a problem instead of Angry Coping Mechanism #taob updates

[doctorweebmd]

both zero-sum and the litany of love and loss were concepts that possessed me and would not not get out of my head until i wrote them but i have wastly different feelings about both of these stories despite loving them equally

#I love both of these works but I hated writing litany of love and loss. does that make sense #both of these pieces have the same amount of love and dedication #arguable skill-wise and imagery-wise a litany of love and loss is better #like running for fun vs running away from a zombie horde or something #technically you are doing the same thing. you’re probably even running faster with the zombie horde #but the context of that activity is endlessly different #…there’s been a weird few days we’re people have been commenting on zero sum #which makes me really really happy #but also nostalgic for it. I loved the story and writing it and interacting with people while writing it #everything that came after it has been a much different much less satisfying experience #in other news the path to paradise is both more fun and more interesting than both of the above stories #but I fear the fact that so few people are reading it takes away some of that external validation fun #now it’s all internal validation. lol. and the 3 really nice people who read and comment #we are honestly always our own worst enemies #I don’t compare my writing against other peoples (<- is lying) #but competing against myself is always a problem #just that weird feeling like despite the fact that you’ve grown and hopefully improved as a writer #there are some stories and concepts people are going to feel captured by and some that aren’t #tbh I know most fic readers don’t come into it being like ‘what is the most well written or interesting piece?’ #I tout zero sum game but a large proportion of people reading it do it only because it’s exclusively dkbk #which I have my own feelings about. mostly negative. #anyway…. I’m so thankful for people #for still reading or caring about anything I’m writing… #…..eh #anyway does anyone else feel like this #or am I just thinking too much about everything all the time #haha #anyway I’m being sentimental because once again I am #night shift is…. yeah