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funkymbtifiction · 6 years

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Wings / Strengths Weaknesses

To save everyone (and myself) time... [I shortened these from here.] I basically use these as shorthand to type characters from.

Gut Types:

1w9 - Seeking Rightness and Peace

Calm although eruptions of temper are possible. Detached quality. Tendency to formulate and embrace principles that have little human content, but this is also their strength. When awakened, may be objective and balanced, cool and moderate in their evaluations. More unhealthy, might have perfectionistic expectations not humanly possible to meet. May hold social or political opinions that are supremely logical but ultimately heartless and draconian. The rules come first no matter what. Can be merciless or unwittingly cruel. Often a little colorless in their personal appearance. Many Ones with this wing are plain dressers, preferring functional clothing that is appropriate to context but not flashy. The emphasis on function may extend to their general lifestyle. Practicality is highly valued.

1w2 - Seeking Rightness and Love

This wing generally brings more interpersonal warmth. High standards are tempered by humanism. May understand and partly forgive humanity for not doing its best. Work hard to improve the conditions of others, sacrificing time and energy to do good works. When more unhealthy, can be volatile and self-righteous. Authoritarian inflation and moral vanity on the low side. Can give scolding lectures or display a kind of touchy emotionalism. “Do as I say, not as I do” attitudes possible. Hypocrisy likely because the person is so convinced they have moral good intentions. Overlook inconsistencies in their own behavior. Dependency in relationships. Far more likely to be a jealous intimate subtype than Ones with a 9 wing.

8w7 - Seeking Power and Stimulation

Expansive, and powerful. Gregarious and generous, they may display a cheerful bravado. Can be forceful but with a light touch, funny. Often have a sense of humor about themselves. Extroverted, ambitious, materialistic. May talk loud and be sociable partygoers. Driven to bring the new into being. Can be visionary, idealistic, enterprising. Willing to take risks. 7 wing brings an intellectual capacity. Aggression combines with gluttony to form an virulent tendency to addiction. Prone to temperamental ups and downs—can be moody, egocentric, quick to anger. Tendency to court chaos, inflate themselves narcissistically. Some are ruthlessly materialistic. Can use people up, suck them dry. Maybe be explosive or violent, prone to distorted overreaction.

8w9 - Seeking Power and Peace

Aura of preternatural calm, no self doubt. Take their authority for granted. Gentle, kind-hearted, quieter. Often nurturing, protective parents; steady, supportive friends. Informal and unpretentious, patient, laconic, somewhat introverted. A dry or ironic sense of humor. Aura of implicit, simmering anger. Slow to erupt but when they do it’s sudden and explosive. When unhealthy, callous numbness. They can be oblivious to the force of their anger until after they’ve hurt someone. Calmly dominating, colder; may have an indifference to softer emotions. If very unhealthy, they can be mean without remorse or aggressive in the service of stupid ends. Paranoid plotting, muddled thinking, moral laziness. Can be vengeful in ill-conceived ways, abuse those they love, don’t know when to quit.

9w8 - Seeking Peace and Power

Modest, steady, receptive core. Great force of will. Get things done, make good leaders. May have an animal magnetism of which they are only partly aware. Can seem highly centered, take what they do seriously but remain unimpressed with themselves. Strong internal sense of direction. Relatively fearless and highly intuitive. Not intellectual unless they have it in their background. When more unhealthy, they manifest contradictions. Can be passively amiable then horribly blunt. May be slow to anger and then explode. Or angry but don’t know it; may confuse being assertive with being rude. Placidly callous—both styles support numbness. Tactless and indiscriminate and indiscreet. May be unwittingly disloyal, spilling everyone’s secrets. Sexual confusion, sometimes they are driven by lust.

9w1 - Seeking Peace and Rightness

Model children. Virtuous, orderly, and little trouble. Great moral authority plus good-hearted peacemaking tendencies. Often have a sense of mission, public or private. Principled expression of love. Desire to contribute, do little harm. May be well-liked, modest, endearing, gentle yet firm. Great grace and composure, bursts of spontaneity and sweetness. Elegant simplicity. When unhealthy, they self-neglect. Dutiful to what they shouldn’t be. Play the good child, settle for being overlooked. Passive tolerance of absurd or damaging situations. One-sided relationships where the Nine gives too much. Rationalize, minimize, tell themselves they everything’s fine. Placid numbness creeps over them. Intolerance of their own emotions. Gradually deaden their soul.

Heart Types:

2w1 - Seeking Love and Rightness

Conscience and emotional containment. When healthy, they act from general principles about the value of serving others. Ethics come before pride. May hold themselves to high standards. Discreet and respectful of other people’s boundaries. When upset, tend to go quiet and experience strong emotions internally. More melancholy than Twos with a 3 wing. When less healthy and unhealthy, tend to confuse their sense of mission with self-centered needs. Go blind to their own motives; invade and dominate others. Believe their actions are perfectly justified by their ethic of helping. May repress their personal desires and focus on others as a way to avoid guilty dilemma between the rules and their inner needs. If really blind they will warp their ethics crazily to justify personal selfishness and prideful hostility.

2w3 - Seeking Love and Image

This wing brings Twos an extra measure of sociability and the capacity to make things happen. When healthy, can be charming, good-natured and heartfelt. Really get things done, serve effectively on projects that involve the well-being of others. Thrive on group process and are generally good communicators. Enjoy keeping several threads or projects going at once. Unhealthy Twos with a 3 wing can be quite emotionally competitive and controlling. 3 wing brings a double dose of vanity. Strong tendency to live in one’s images. May grow brazenly deluded, preferring their glamorous, self-important scenarios to reality. Tendencies to deceit and emotional calculation. Highly manipulative. This wing is also more extroverted; dramatization of feeling in the form of hysterical snit-fits is far more possible.

3w2 - Seeking Image and Love

Highly gregarious. Tendency towards playing a role. Social perception, prestige and recognition important. Personal warmth, leadership qualities. Sincere desire to do well by others; may be genuinely nice. If they have achieved success, generous in their mentorships. When unhealthy, they are preoccupied with seeming ideal. This can extend to friendships, family, work. Want to seem a perfect spouse, friend, parent, employee, good child. Strong social focus because they need validation from others. Preening and boastful behavior possible. Bursts of egotism. Wanting to be on top, better than others. Slip into impersonation easily, may falsify feeling and not know it themselves. Deep emotional self-recognition is lost. Malicious intentional deceit is possible. Behavior of con-artists and sociopaths.

3w4 - Seeking Image and Identity

Less image-conscious or project an image more implicit and subtle. 4 wing brings a degree of introversion. May measure themselves more by their creations, artistic or social. Compete with themselves more than with other people. Motivation and ability to work on oneself. May accomplish everything they set out to do, then embark on self-analysis. Will still like a challenge, but thoughtful, intuitive or humanistic concerns of prime interest. The low side of this wing can bring a haunted, self-tormented quality or a haughty, competitive pretentiousness. Might be snobs or accuse critics of being too plebian to appreciate them. Cool, hard shell. In private, can lapse into self-questioning and melodrama. Instability and moodiness can be factors. Unrealistic grandiosity.

4w3 - Seeking Identity and Image

Outgoing, sense of humor and style. Prize being creative and effective. Intuitive and ambitious; may have good imaginations, often talented. Colorful, fancy dressers, make a distinct impression. Self-knowledge combines well with social and organizational skills. When unhealthy, have a public/private split. Conceals feelings in public then goes home to loneliness. Can enjoy their work and be dissatisfied in love. Tendency to melodrama and flamboyance; true feelings often hide. Competitive, sneaky, aware of how they look. Some have bad taste. May be fickle in love, drawn to romantic images that they have projected onto others. Could have a dull spouse, then fantasize about glamorous strangers. Achievements can be tainted by jealousy, revenge, or a desire to prove the crowd wrong.

4w5 - Seeking Identity and Knowledge

Withdrawn, complex creativity. Intellectual, exceptional depth of feeling and insight. Very much their own person; original and idiosyncratic. Have a spiritual and aesthetic openness. Will find multiple levels of meaning. May have a strong need and ability to pour themselves into artistic creations. Loners; enigmatic and hard to read. Externally reserved, internally resonant. When they open up it can be sudden and total. When unhealthy or defensive, easily alienated and depressed. Many have a sense of not belonging. Can get lost in their process, drown in their ocean. Whiny, ruminate and relive past experience. Prone to shame. Air of sullen, withdrawn disappointment. May live within a private mythology of pain and loss. Can get deeply morbid and fall in love with death.

Head Types:

5w4 - Seeking Knowledge and Identity

Abstract, intuitive cast of thought, as though thinking in geometric shapes instead of words or realistic images. May be talented artistically and inhabit moods. Combine intellectual and emotional imagination. Enjoy the realm of philosophy and beautiful constructs. The marriage of mental perspective and aesthetics. Fluctuate between impersonal withdrawal and bursts of friendly caring. Can get floaty and abstract. Act like they’re inside a bubble, sometimes with an air of implicit superiority. Cliché of the “absentminded professor” applies especially to Fives with this wing. Environmentally sensitive and subject at times to total overwhelm. Touchy about criticism. Can be slow to recover from traumatic events. Melancholy isolation and bleak existential depression are possible pitfalls.

5w6 - Seeking Knowledge and Security

Detail, technical knowledge, thinks in logical sequence. Intellectual, extremely analytical. Loyal friends, offering strong behind-the-scenes support. Kind, patient teachers, skillful experts. Sense of mission and work hard. Project an aura of sensitive nerdiness, clumsy social skills. When defensive, unnerved by others’ expectations. May like people but avoid them. Sensitive to social indebtedness. Has trouble saying “thank you.” Fear of taking action, develop “information addiction” instead. Asks lots of questions but doesn't get around to deciding. When unhealthy, they suspiciously scrutinize other people’s motives but can blindly follow. Misanthropic and Scrooge-like when defensive. Cuts off their feelings consistently. Cold, skeptical, ironic, and disassociated.

6w5 - Seeking Security and Knowledge

Introverted, intellectual. Many interests, competencies and skills. Original, idiosyncratic point of view. Bookish; interested in history or feel rooted in the past or related to a long tradition. Good at predicting the future. May test friends for a long time but become a friend for life. When unhealthy, project a willed remoteness. Hidden dimensions, intensity and activity. Tension between needing to be seen and withdrawing for protection. Might act arrogant, cryptic or cynical when afraid. Can be diplomatic and say things without saying them. Counterphobics are cool loners or argumentative and violent. Can brood over injustices, entertain conspiracy theories, spend time alone building cases. Paranoid. Sneaky vengeance, passive/aggressive toward others, self-attacking and self-destructive at home.

6w7 - Seeking Security and Stimulation

Outgoing, nervous. Want to be liked, pursues others. Can be charming, sociable, ingratiating. Fast tempo. Personal warmth. Cheerful, forward-looking drive, disarmingly funny. Self-effacing, gracious, curious. When unhealthy, may be self-contradicting and want two things at once. Sometimes test others overtly, drive you crazy with mixed messages. It may be hard to follow what they’re saying. When threatened, impossible to please. When counterphobic, accusative. Some get caught up in big plans they hope will result in material security. Insecure, irritable, petty, irrational, chaotic. Mood swings, inferiority complexes, runaway fears. Hair-trigger paranoid flare-ups . Falsely accuse others and not realize it. Other times plead to be taken care of. Conservative in their lifestyle.

7w6 - Seeking Stimulation and Security

Responsible, faithful, lovable, nervous and funny. Oriented to relationships, want acceptance. Steady, willing to stick with commitments. Openly vulnerable, unguarded, tender sweetness. Has trouble expressing anger. May evade authority but are still aware of it. Canny and practical, they look for deals and loopholes. When unhealthy, may have episodes of sensitivity or insecurity. Get their feelings easily hurt. Sensitive to comparisons. May avoid testing themselves. Grow dependent and addicted to other people, afraid to be alone, suspicious and skittish. Easily feels guilt, may act irresponsibly. Shallow, falls in and out of love easily. Breezily betray others by running away. Can be reckless, unstable, and self-destructive. Hates to be told what to do.

7w8 - Seeking Stimulation and Power

Generous, gregarious, expansive. Loyal to their friends. Leaps aggressively to their defense. Loud or boisterous, urbane and witty. Enjoy social celebrations, storytelling, jokes, food and travel. Self-confidence for worldly matters and getting what they want. Talent for making something out of nothing. Shares what they have, wants others to share their interests. When unhealthy, demanding, selfish, impatient. Self-justifying narcissism. Wants what they want right now. Aggressive, greedy for money, pleasure, recognition. Can demand others say only what they want to hear—sugarcoated truths. Lashes out angrily if reality doesn’t meet their expectations; sometimes vengeful. Moralize to others while being irresponsible. Amnesia for promises. Particular difficulty with sexual fidelity.

- ENFP Mod

#enneagram #enneagram wings #1w2 #1w9 #2w3 #2w1 #3w2 #3w4 #4w3 #4w5 #5w4 #5w6 #6w5 #6w7 #7w6 #7w8 #8w7 #8w9 #9w1 #9w8

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queerwelsh · 5 years

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“Memory” by E. Prosser Rhys

E. Prosser Rhys won the Crown in the National Eisteddfod of Wales, Pontypool, in 1924, with “Atgof.” “Memory” is a translation by Hywel Davies.

MEMORY

THE STORY OF A SENSIBLE LAD

“The imagination of a boy is healthy, and the mature imagination of a man is healthy; but there is a space of life between, in which the soul is in a ferment, the character undecided, the way of life uncertain, the ambition thick-sighted … …” John Keats. In his second introduction to “Endymion.”

When hot with youth I fled down weary ways The suing voice and its insistencies; I would not listen to its warning lays Of hell encoiled within the heart of bliss. A coward thing, I said, were I to dim My ardent ways and take secure root, When I would yield myself to every whim, And taste delight of the forbidden fruit. But the pursuer followed after still, Nor ever did his divination fail; He witnessed all my torturings of will, He followed and he followed on my trail, Like some God given envoy during strife To ward me from the knowledge that is life. * * * The smell of burning peats! Swift as light, It strides along the highways of my brain, Till I am filled with memories of delight, My own white house and the hedged fields again. Once more the little rooms, the glint of sun On ancient chairs, familiar ways and ease, And they who gave me life, the day being done, Dwelling in love’s divine consolaries. And I remember storms that whipped the door, Whilst I all swinkéd lay before the fire, Till beckoning sleep would show her magic store, And mother’s song waft me to my desire. And I would sleep, my weariness unfurled, Between the two most happy in the world.

Most happy in the world! . . . I lived to see Beyond the unruffled days of laughing youth, Their amorous contentment piteously Entangled, snared, grow pale and die in ruth. For here, and I growing, I saw one Who wept and raged in bitter unavail, And he, the father of her child, undone By whispers that were flame about the vale. The mother’s heart--though heavy be the road That winds between the Church bells and the grave,– It not oppressed by a more heavy load, Than dead desire and beauty that she gave To him whose blood is still unspent and lewd, Bound to her only by cold habitude.

Cold custom! Was it not a fault, allow, To moss her ever in her tiny bower, With passion’s tide so fickle in its flow, And fallacy our universal dower? Is it not vain the vowing unto God, And we blindfolded of our own desire, Rebelling vainly till death’s wink and nod, Rebelling vainly in our children’s fire? And I believed, there in the smell of peat, That love was but the lusting of the flesh, A swift, mysterious gladness it was meet That youth should lie with ere it slipped the mesh,– A wild, shy thing of the woods, no willing thrall To run this way or that at beck and call.

Our love at back and call! Did ever love, of yore, Concern itself with aught but its own needs? So tell me why should men strive evermore To bind her running feet with their small creeds? For her of old was courtesy a cloak; Her bright eyes shone above the tournament; T’was in her name the poets and sages spoke, And for her sake the plans of Kings were shent. Though stronger than the buttressed mountains are, More fickle is she than the playing breeze; Who holds her prisoned now shall find afar His truant fancy sailing the high seas. Stale custom shall not rust my spirit’s knife: To tread the caprice of Love’s dance in life.

To live! What then of him, the priest who saith That love o’ercometh passion and its evil? What of my home that was the home of death? Shall God created bliss be blamed the Devil? I shall take love even as it is, I said, With eyes afire and feet aflame to snare All women to the silver net I spread, And drown my senses in their tresséd hair. Great rock recesses shadowed from the sun Shall be the pantheon of my desire; Let all the birds sing out their praise as one, And all the winds touch now upon the lyre; May the white moon turn to Orion and the Wain, And laugh at twinéd love and its sweet pain. * * * So ran my vow. And eager in pursuit The suing voice came riding down the wind: Think well before you taste forbidden fruit, And to thyself irrevocably sinned. Was it not wedlock that awoke from sleep, Suckled and fed and housed the infant mind? Released from its travailings in the deep Great Nature’s measures to preserve our kind? The pangs of birth are no vain chance of pleasure, The mother’s pain hath its appointed place, For this is Life’s glad offering of treasure Upon Love’s altar to redeem the race. Beware. The altar is too consecrate For love unruled and lust insatiate. * * * The smell of earth! When Spring comes through the rain Out into shining days of clear delight, With deathless memories rustling in her train Of Love’s adventurings, and that dread flight, From out the shadow of fear and of reason, To where Love lies in glowing mightiness. And drinking deep of my own father’s treason I shamed away the whispers of distress. . . . The smell of earth! The smell of that clean sod Where I would soothe my weariness to rest; And now the thorn where was the rose. Dear God, That I should so have stained the white, the blest, Unversed in this: whatso the day has bred, Dreams in my bones, lives in my flesh, till dead.

But my desire was for the subtle wine Distilled in woman’s soul by gift of Jove. I live again the night I walked with mine To prove the perils of adulterous love. Loud were the shouts of labourers at the ploughs; Even and red lay the long furrow rills; Life was a song among the green leaved boughs; Life was a dance about the eternal hills. And joy was one with everything I saw, Joy to my ear all the sounds I head, And happy I--joy without end or flaw, And Life within my grasp, a fluttering bird, Her bright plumed wonder, as it were, tip-toe Upon expectancy, lest I should go.

Lest I should go! The vengeful night had chased Day from the hills; close to a lake we lay; We moved together and we there embraced; She hung her head abashed, but with my play Her sloe back eyes were filled with tender tears; I kissed her with my eager, full ringed mouth, Caressed her gently till she knew no fears, And she was passionate as the sun warmed South. And in upon our tranced selves there came The tide of our desire . . . and we swoon . . . Is there another sweetness like to flame That turns to bitter memories so soon? We go our way. No word of love is said, And loathéd pleasure in my heart lies dead.

Mair, if we were nine and bound in love, Instead of twice that sum of sorrowing years, We would not know these wild desires that move Our tempest souls to ecstasy and to tears. We’d play at keeping house for our delight, Or row prodigious Queens across the ferries; We’d deck ourselves with flowers blue and white, And dine like faery folk upon the berries. If we could have our wish and live again The babbling days of happy innocence, Divest ourselves of knowledge and pain, And walk once more in our magnificence, Treading illusion’s way, our brains untaught In this poor truth of which the world is wrought!

In there be harmony in life, I said, It is to yield to passion’s every gust, But I its pilgrim now am surfeited, I forswear woman, turn away from lust. Woe unto man, great God’s unclean endowing Of wily woman’s soft, persuasive ways; To my intemperate and accursed avowing I sing a glad farwell for all my days. Frustrate is all desire, though we have clothed Its meagre loins with garments fir for Kings. To friendship do I vow myself betrothed, For comradeship is clean. Upon its wings Will I surmount desire. This is our tryst: Friend, I will go with thee wheree’er thou list.

So ran my vow, and eager in pursuit The suing voice came riding down the wind: Think well before you spurn the Master’s fruit, And to thyself irrevocably sinned. The comradeship of men shines out like gold Through all the chronicles of the star crossed earth; I give thee leave to travel with the bold, To grasp their steady hands and prove thy worth. But give not all thy faith to friendship’s rule From surfeiting of woman and desire; Thy glowing body shall not thus grow cool,– Two of one sex may know a hidden fire That may of comradeship make such a rue Shall thy far fleeing steps all time pursue. * * * On Summer eves, the smell of new mown hay Borne faintly on a breath of dying wind, Brings back to me the many twisting way Of our companioning. There comes to mind The busy questing, and my winnowed choice Of friendship that would bless my eyes with truth, And grant respite from that incessant Voice, Nor leave my heart a temple unto ruth: And as I came upon the charméd stream Of Menai silvering from sea to sea, I met my mind’s own image, he, the dream, And greeted him my comrade happily, Sweet from the swathes of new mown hay these rose Incense to bind our lovely friendship close.

Oh golden haired and generous of heart, There is no secret hid away from thee, Of close communings from the world apart, Of dreaming towers raised against the sea. We said the world was evil to the core; We would have earth an earthly paradise,– Reshape its way to beauty evermore, So men might walk the world more kindly-wise. We vowed to trample nature to the dust, Make flesh a casket only for the mind; Though youth is swift to snare his feet with lust, To love’s enchantments were we now not blind? For we could hear, faintly from afar, Some singer singing of a fairer star.

A fairer star! The musing night was deep Between the high-pent hedgerows of the lane; The world lay quiet in a windless sleep; The scent of hay rose freshly after rain. Our hearts were of a sudden filled with ease, In some high Wisdom awfully arrayed . . . From a grey convent shadowed in the trees There rose a chant of praise to Mary Maid. We stopped. And there made chaste our hearts from greed, Anger and lust and strife, till strong within The holy words of that Latinian creed Singing of cloistered continence from sin, We chased down secret arches of the brain The world’s enchanteries and the world’s great pain.

The secret arches of the brain! . . . We kept No vigil on our thoughts, walled in from wrong That grave, fantastic night. And as we slept Our ears were tolling with the holy song, We slept, half drowsily aware, unwilling, Yet glad that each was in the other’s arm. And so desire . . . the flame of our fulfilling And sudden lapse of love’s ecstatic charms . . . And then awake, remembering what had been My brain became a pool of burning wroth: My comradeship and love, alike unclean, For all our sacring and our plighted troth. Wilt thou not leave me now alone, Desire, For I am sick to death of Life entire.

Life, in laughter and in loveliness! But Flesh is like a shadow over all; My richest dreams are dust and emptiness, And striving Soul is bound a slave in thrall. What art thou, Flesh, that shivers to the cold, Melts to the noonday heat, yields blood to steel, That walks, and sleeps, is lorded o’er by gold, That sees, and hears, is swift to know and feel? What art thou, Flesh? Thou art the unsought crown, That fickle chance of bodies trapped in lust; And that same lust, waking or lying down, Is pent again in thy sharp blood. Oh dust! And why, in this poor pot of earthenware Should’st Thou have poured a wine beyond compare? * * * Another way I chose from out the mire, And still the swing voice came down the wind: Think well before you banish all desire, And to thyself irrevocably sinned. I bade the keep within the holy way Of Nature’s law, nor spurn her great design; I bade the not, in Friendship’s hour, bewray Thy hidden passion, no, nor drink that wine. Unheeding, thou hast sinned and surfeited On woman’s love, the comradeship of men; And now, oh fool, in thy fool’s heart hast said That death is in the touch of lips. What then? A love afar, unhoped for … Oh vain word! For life is soul and sense in sweet accord.

The smell of sea-weed! When the noonday sun Is bright upon the levels of the deep, To watch the children windblown to a run Of shrill delight across the sands . . . and weep! The smell of sea-weed! Festal life debates In the swift strains of music from the band, And maidens robed in white, sure Love’s oblates, Laughing at sunset in a green leaved land. The smell of sea-weed! . . . Wandering amazed, My senses dead from my adventurings, One from the throng of white clad maidens gazed With calm and level eyes… My pain took wings Before her slow smile dawning unafraid, I vowed swift hearted I should love the maid.

Her will I love, I said. Though carnal Lust And Love’s sweet self are in one body meshed, There is from God divinity will thrust The twain apart; beyond desire, unfleshed, Our ways shall move to splendour. Love has ended The mind’s submission to its yoked zest. . . . We held no converse, went out way unfriended; Looked not for kisses, knew nor lip nor breast. Walking the sea’s wide marge along the bight, Our glances met,–revealed our deep set bliss A cold, still flame of radiance burning white In eyes were swift to read and swift to kiss. Before our silent love there was unfurled Rich gifts that mute the poets of the world.

Mute is the tongue, for how should tongue make known The eternal saturnalia of the house? Where by the roadside many seeds were sown One spears the sod, makes glad the way with flowers. Her soul had windows where from deeps of blue A child’s white thoughts came peeping in and out; Her walk, her dress, her ways alike were true,– A vestal maiden armouréd about. And grudging Life, who had denied a crumb, With glowing hands poured treasure at the last Bound the wise world’s knowing … I stood dumb, Spell bound in awe, divinely chained, held fast, Wise fools awhile scraping that ancient lay That two and two is foolish children’s play.

Oh that smell of sea-weed holds in trave The hour we stained love risen from the sea. Perchance the bathers tumbled by a wave Troubled the secret waters heaped in me. There came a dream upon the wings of night, And I had pleasure of the mute, sad maid. . . Dawn in the East had set the world alight When I awoke . . . remembered the betrayed. . . God knows how agonised in bitter pain I wrought upon the death of my design; I walked the sun lit sands from hell’s lifted Sign, Away beyond the hills, for I had read Guilt in her eyes of what the night had bred. * * * Deep in a wood I lay, and by me sate Pain for a friend. I cried: How vain Is all my girded armour against fate; Sure Lust has found a flaw, and Love lies slain. Wilt Thou from whom I fled by night and day Speak unto me, for I am stripped of fear? Strange Guide and my sure Prophet, say Where wisdom lies; speak, and I shall hear . . . My head is cradled on a tuft of grass. . . The trees are shadowed from the burning sky. . . Heart of the world that beats, and beats. . . Pass, Little bird, fly on, away. . . A great wind’s sigh… The leaves are listening, tense … no breath, no sound . . . The Voice’s accents sweet, above, around.

You too have bowed your lusty head at last, Though long eluding down the evasive ways; There is no heart so secret, feet so fast, Can find a chamber privy from my gaze. A puny thing is Man! You named me here Your kindly Prophet and your own strange Guide. The suing voice that tracked you through the dread Vain trespassings, Thyself, and none beside! As though the life that teems about the fields– The ribbed oak or failest blade of green, Were to renounce the sap the good root yields Drawn from the earth that bore it, shaped it clean, And so renouncing, fail of leaves and flowers To pine in helplessness through death’s slow hours.

Lush from the roots that probe ancestral earth I am the sap that moves along your veins; Deep in the secret dark you hid my worth– Unblest of me, frustrate, thou hast known pains. I am nor good no evil,–but the taste Of earth, thy earth, is sharp upon my mouth. Perchance an unwise word may slip in haste; Perchance I make my law some out worn truth: But wise or foolish, thou thyself demeaning Both Soul and Body to my unseen end, In me thy Life shall find a richer meaning, A shriller laughter, agonises that rend, And peace in serving, chastened of His rod, Inerrably the purposes of God.

You yielded, yes, but not before long erring, And never sin was sinned but drew its wage. No shelter is there in the world’s wayfaring From retribution on the scoréd page. You will not know the smell of burning peat But memory shall come and clasp you hand; Nor joy of earth, but Spring with shining feet Shall lead you to the lake, and wave her wand. You will not know the scent of fresh cut hay, But Comradeship will come and sit with you; Nor smell the sea-weed drifting, but you pay Your desecrating love with bitter rue. * So must the price of sin be pain with hell, Till Memory’s sting is dulled, and all is well.

#e. prosser rhys #atgof #memory #lgbt history #queer history #lgbt history month #e prosser rhys died on this day in 1945 aged 43 #welsh history #welsh queer history #lgbt poetry #by m

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snakechamber-blog1 · 7 years

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About Auras part 3

Before anything I have a few words to tell, this is mainly an idea about the emotional aura colors, but it does change from person to person as people both see colors differently but also express colors differently, but its a good starter.

Secondly, this is gonna be a long post, but I am not gonna split it up in colors as it would take forever for you ti fin your ways in, but I really hope you enjoy my effort and notes.

A minor thirdly thing is, its up to your feeling in the gut if you want to follow or not, I have made this very neutral, so everyone can use it (remember to look up my other parts aswell).

Enjoy <3

Red = energy

Blood red: Vengefulness and jealousy

Bright red: Force and persuasion

Clear red: friendliness and physical activity

Crimson: Sexuality and base passions

Dark red almost black: selfishness an greed

Deep red: passions

Dirty red: sensuality and lust

Dull red: selfishness

Fiery red: Irritability and anxiety

Light red: nervousness

Magenta: Cheerfulness

Rose: Pure, unselfish love

Rose-pink: joy and happiness

Scarlet: uncontrollable emotions

True red: ambition and courage

Orange = emotions

Bright orange: strong emotions

Clear orange: sociability and openness

Dark orange: over-indulgence, lack of emotional control

Dull orange: irritability

Reddish orange: desire to impress others

True orange: well organized and competent

Yellow = intellect

Bright yellow: high intellect

Dull yellow: laziness and impracticality

Lemon yellow: clear thinking

Mustard yellow: craftiness and dishonesty

Pale yellow: thoughtfulness

Luminous yellow: good logic and spiritual aspirations

True yellow: sociable, communicative and thoughtful

Yellow-green: low intellect

Green = healing and balance

Bright green: good health and vitality

Dark green: jealousy

Dirty green: envy, dishonesty an deceit

Emerald green: empathy

Grass green: adaptability

Grayish green: depression and disillusionment

Light green: sympathy, understanding and forgiveness

Muddy green: envy

True green: humanistic and kind-hearted

Blue = varitey

Bright blue: self-reliance and loyalty

Dark blue: wisdom

Dull blue: feeling of being restricted and held back

Light blue: devotion and high ideals

Lilac-blue: idealism

Pale blue: immaturity

Rich blue: spirituality

True blue: imaginative and perceptive

Indigo = responsibility

Bright indigo: concern for others

Dark indigo: spiritual awareness

Dull indigo: disillusion

Luminous indigo: serenity

True indigo: self-reliant and responsible

Violet = spirituality

Amethyst: spiritual awakening

Lilac: humanitarian

Luminous violet: faith, intuition and awareness

Purple: pride and love of pomp and ceremony

True violet: intuitive and spiritual

Black = malice

Grayish black: malevolence and cruelty

Pure black: health problems or pain or hatred

True black: strong-willed and opinionated

Washed out black: secretiveness and pessimism

Brown = materialism

Dirty brown: miserliness

Mudy brown: selfishness

Pure brown: ambition and materialism

Reddish brown: greed

True brown: down to earth and hard working

Gold = wisdom

Clear gold: good intellect and ability to teach it to others

Luminous gold: positivity and support for others

True gold: idealistic and principled

Yellow-gold: contentment and physical well-being

Gray = conventionality

Bright gray: selfishness and lack of imagination

Dull gray: boredom, fear and melancholy

Greenish gray: negative tinking

Gray around the head: headache

Grayish brown: ill health

Gray smudge at body: beginning of an illness

Lead gray: self-doubt

Light gray: ill health and lack of energy

True gray: stressed and burned out

Pink = love

Clear pink: compassion

Coral pink: uncertainty and immaturity

Pure pink: tenderness and devotion

Rose-pink: joyfulness and optimism

Salmon pink: humanitarianism and universal love

True pink: affectionate, loving and sympathetic

Washed out pink: dependence

Silver = idealism

Bright silver: romantic and trustworthy

Dull silver: idealistic dreamer

True silver: honorable and honest

White = purity

Creamy white: humanitarianism and idealism

Luminous white: perfection and spiritual awareness

True white: perfectionist

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hela-of-ren · 7 years

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My Chosen VIII

WE ARE APPROACHING THE END PEOPLE. Two more chapters and then this story will be complete!! I never expected this to receive so much love, but I’m glad it did and ya’ll are the absolute best. You can expect me to update my new Clyde Logan story every Friday so get pumped for that along with requests and prompts. Now, my children, let us begin.

Tagged: @itsaconquestofimagination, @kylo-renne, @inumorph

He felt nothing but rage settle in his stomach and burn through his bones. This creature, the very being who had deceived him and feasted upon his insecurities had killed you. His chosen, his star, his love...

Kylo had never been able to truly tell you why you were so important to him, beyond his curse...and now he never would.

He set you down gently, giving your cheek one last gentle stroke as he squeezed his eyes shut at the internal pain bubbling up.

“You were foolish to grow so attached, Ren. To be saved, to be redeemed is a child’s fairytale,” Snoke taunted as he glided in a flurry of black towards Kylo, “You made your choice...and she has paid for it.” He reached down as if to touch you before Kylo stood in fron of your body protectively.

“Don’t you dare touch her,” He was seething from the inside out, “By the time I’m done with you you’ll wish you’d never answered my pleas.” With that, shadows began to seep from Kylo as if he were bleeding; swirling and hissing as if they were their own being.

Snoke sneered and launched his form at Kylo, aiming to rip out his un-dead heart until nothing existed of the former prince.

The two dark beings struggled with each other, lunging and slashing with every ounce of power they possessed. Shadows clashed with shadows, leaving scorch marks and broken stone in their wake.

Kylo landed a powerful blow as Snoke was sent spiraling into the stone wall, black blood gurgling from his throat and spilling out of his mouth like tar. Snoke glanced up with a new found power that had Kylo tensing.

“You want a fight? Let me give it to you, boy.” He hissed and held out his hand to the side. From thin air, his shadows formed a long yet thin shape that took complete form as Snoke’s boney hand clutched the hilt.

The darkness became Snoke’s legendary light saber, a weapon that glowed white around a completely black blade; a scorched metal hilt to complete it’s deranged look. Snoke shot forward from his crumpled position, attempting to stab Kylo, but was met with a red light as sparks flew.

Kylo’s own light saber hummed with a vengeful power, its blood lust needing to be sated from the feelings welling up inside its master. Sparks flew as sabers slashed and clashed together with crazed yet elegant movements.

Kylo channeled all of his rage and loss into his attacks, picturing your smiling face, your eyes meeting with his own, the warmth of your kiss...

...and he would never experience any of it ever again.

With a loud cry Kylo swung his saber down onto Snoke’s, red locking with black in a flurry of light. The creator struggled with his creation as the saber’s were slowly pushed back and forth.

“You’ve grown weak in your rest, Ren. What do you hope to accomplish? Even if you were to defeat me, you do not posses the power to bring your beloved back!” He pushed the sabers more towards Kylo. “Resistance is futile!” He hissed as the black saber lightly singed the side of Kylo’s face, his teeth gritting against the pain.

“You’re right, my master...I don’t,” He grunted out as the saber burned into his skin. With another flash of your face in his mind, Kylo surged forward until both sabers found a home in Snoke’s head, “But you do.” As Snoke struggled to grasp that he was defeated, tendrils flew from Kylo’s robes and into Snoke’s body, absorbing any and all power the creature possessed.

With a final glare, Kylo pulled the sabers from Snoke’s head and slashed it clean off his shoulders. The body began to writhe and crumple before turning to dust at Kylo’s feet as he pocketed the black saber. He closed his eyes as the new found power melted with his own.

He fell to his knees as the ancient darkness lashed out with his body, his fingers clawing at the ground beneath him in an attempt to control the new found power. He bared his teeth as the pain intensified, his body beginning to crawl towards your own as his body twisted and burned; bones beginning to show in certain areas.

Finally reaching your side, he hovered over your body with his hands on either side of your head as he struggled to control his breathing. He leaned down until his forehead touched your own, his hands coming to clutch either side of your face and focused more than he ever had in any of his lives.

“Come back, come back to me,” He murmured over and over in different languages and different ways, willing your soul to revive within you, “Y/N, my star, my chosen....come back, come back....” He whispered against the pain until a particularly searing surge hit him, causing his face to contort until his teeth were razor sharp and his eyes completely black.

“Y/N COME BACK!!!!” He screamed at your face in multiple tones, his roar echoing through out the area until he swore he heard you scream back.

You jolted awake as oxygen graced your lungs, your eyes bulging in disbelief as your hands went up to your throat. For the second time in one week, you had been dead and revived. You sucked in air as quickly as possible as you swiveled left and right, trying to take in as much as possible.

Snoke was no where to be seen, but you felt with every fiber of your being that you weren’t alone. As if on cue the crunching of rocks caught your attention, causing you to cast your gaze to the corner of the room. A hunched figure in tattered black cloth sat amongst a pile of rubble breathing heavily, its fingers scraping at the ground beneath it.

You stood on shaky legs and cautiously made your way closer, your mind telling you to run but your heart telling you that you knew whoever this was.

“Kylo?” You took a shot in the dark, hoping you were right. Its head turned slightly, shoulders falling in what seemed to be relief.

“My star...you’re alive...thank the gods....” His deep voice held great exhaustion and pain only casing your worry to spike, your steps picking up speed until you stood behind him.

“Kylo what-” you reached down to touch his shoulder only to stop as he flinched.

“NO! N-no...don’t...don’t look at me...” He whimpered out and curled more into himself. You knelt beside him in concern and scrunched your brow. “I don’t...I don’t want to scare you. I’ve put you through enough...” He rasped out and your heart broke.

“You won’t.” You were firm in your decision, part of you feeling that he was the reason you were still alive. As much hell as you’d been through, Kylo had always pulled through for you and kept you safe to the best of his abilities.

Your hand reached out and cupped the far side of his face, turning it until his eyes met yours. His face had become more gray and gaunt, wrappings even more visible as if you’d just pulled him from his tomb. Whatever power he used to revive you had taken a great deal out of him and left him as weak as when he first crawled out of his coffin.

You scooted closer until both hands encased his face, thumbs stroking under the rough skin of his eyes as his eyes dropped to the floor.

“I’m so sorry I failed you, Y/N...” He whispered out and clenched his eyes shut in shame. You made a noise in your throat and moved his face back up until he was looking at you again.

“I want you to listen very closely, mummy boy,” You began, “You’ve haunted my thoughts, put me through more danger than I’ve ever been in, had me face down pig headed men of every type...” He winced at your list, “But you’ve saved me at every turn and never once lied to me in any moment.” Your voice caused his eyes to widen.

“I understand what you are and I understand what you’ve done, t doesn’t mean I can just forgive what’s happened...” His eyes began to lower back to the floor until you made him look up again, “But that doesn’t mean I won’t help you through this. Before I can be your saving grace or whatever the hell you think I am, you need to want to help yourself.” You brushed strands of hair from his face as his lips parted in awe at you.

He brought his face closer to yours until your foreheads touched, his hands coming up to cover yours on his face.

“For you, I will try.” He answered and his small smile was more than enough to send butterflies into your stomach. You smiled back and gently kissed his forehead, standing and offering him your hand.

“Come on then.”

#kylo ren x reader #kylo x reader #mummy!kylo #kylo ren #kylo ren imagine #the mummy #star wars

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long-way-down-rp-archive · 7 years

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Titania

TRUE NAME: Yes FACECLAIM: Lana Parrilla NICKNAMES AND ALIASES: A queen garners many names, especially given how long Titania has been in power. In the mortal realm, she's been going by Titania Verano DATE OF BIRTH: Unknown APPARENT AGE: 39 ACTUAL AGE: Unknown GENDER: Identifies as female KIND: High Fae CALLING: Summer Queen, sole ruler of the Summer Court. Musical producer and CEO at Midsummer Records.

DISTINGUISHING MARKS: Titania has a scar through her upper lip from the attack that had ended in Oberon's death. She chose not to have it heal, as a mark of respect. It becomes all the more evident in her high fae form. In her high form, she's almost too bright to look at, like staring at the sun. When you blink, all you can see is her light in your eyelids. She's bright and she burns. To be close to her for longer than an instant would be to embrace the fact that you'll turn to ash or to burn hot in return.

Somehow, she always smells of the headiness of a lavender field and scarlet sage, sweet and heavy in turns. Relaxing, soothing in the strangest sort of ways.

To have her favor is to remember the sweet nights of summer, the headiness of flowers blooming and the cool that might finally come as respite. Iced tea and evenings together with family, with people you love, while cicadas provide their music. To face her wrath, though, is to be in the desert in the peak of summer. All you can hope for is that the mirage of water might even be real. Maybe it would be, this time. If you can ever reach it. If not, well - things grow, from ashes. Perhaps she'll remake you into something wonderful.

Beyond that, she is of the fair folk - her shape changes as easily as breathing, were she so inclined. The most distinguishing marks are the quickness of her temper. Every time her temper flares, the heat in the room seems to jump several degrees, while her hands seem to twitch as though wishing for flames.

PERSONALITY: Titania of reality is not far off from the popular adaptations of her - though if she started that way or if the belief of humans shaped her into it isn't exactly clear. She's the epitome of summer, incredibly passionate and led by them. She falls in and out of love easily, is vengeful and temperamental but cools off given a bit of time.

Most of all, however, she's determined. One cannot become a monarch of the Summer Court without a strong will and the strength to beat out all the rest - and Titania has consistently won with her magic for centuries now. When she puts her mind to something, she will achieve it come hell or high water. And she's willing to do absolutely anything necessary to keep her court safe. She's proud and stubborn, willing to set her feet and hold firm on whatever she has decided on.

HISTORY:

It does not matter to whom a queen was born to - they have long since passed into slumber, barely named in the human mythos, long since forgotten in the intervening centuries upon centuries. Far as mortals need be concerned, Titania might as well have sprung forth fully grown and in her full glory. And it's not as though there are any fae who remain awake to contradict the image - any who might have remembered her as one of the rare children the fae could celebrate are long since gone. What matters is that she was born a daughter of the Summer Court and was formed from that, formed into it. Titania reflects her Court, passionate and volatile and untamed. Oberon had been her ally for a long time, the two balancing their strengths well enough to be a real threat - him with the martial combat, her his magical counterpart. The two challenged the sitting monarch for the throne and won, becoming the reigning monarchs for cycle upon cycle. Other fae challenged and lost, as was the nature of summer, but their strength was remarkable - they lived and reigned and worked.

But Summer was long since known for being a court that involved itself with the mortal realm, and they were no different. Both took on mortal lovers, mortal friends, mortal younglings to raise and pet and praise and love. Quarreled over them regularly - Shakespeare got that much right, at least. But long before Titania had sent her fairies to whisper in his ear, the Summer Court had done the unthinkable - they attempted to integrate themselves into a mortal court. They sent one of their changelings, the lady Morgaine le Fay, to the court of King Arthur and presented the opportunity for their courts to rule more jointly. More so than had ever been offered to a mortal before, Titania and Oberon taking the opportunity to reveal themselves to mortals and take advantage of all that could be offered. There was safety in the mortals knowing of them, after all - take advantage of their wariness, their knowledge in the power that the fairies held. And for a time, it worked.

But magic and faeries and mysticism was not something that kept sway in humans forever. They were flighty creatures, starting to turn their attention instead to religion, to a jealous god who denied all other powers but him. And with awareness of power came an awareness of weakness.

The mortals turned on them as Arthur weakened, turned his attention to the rebellion of his own bastard son. Morgaine fell as Summer's mound was invaded, iron burning fairy flesh as their screams filled the air with a different sort of music. Oberon fell, Titania took grievous wounds, and their link in Morgaine burned. A fallen goddess' rage ended up as a large point in their favor, allowing for the fairies to rally around the new power and the rage of their Queen, who burned bright as the sun. Burned the eyes of mortals foolish enough to even look in her direction. Those that did were struck down with no warning, no mercy. Titania struck down the remaining attackers, bringing her court back to momentary peace and abandoning Arthur to the bed of his own making. She awarded the goddess with the title of "le Fay" in memory of the changeling she saw as her daughter and for her defense of Summer, then took her court and retreated to a new mound.

Titania took control of her court for herself alone - there were many challengers, after the disaster of Arthur's court. She defeated every single one, determined in her grief. And for a time, they settled into the Tamar Valley and knew some peace. They slowly began to reach back out to mortals again, inspiring writers and whispering tales into their ears to be recorded in plays and poetry and novels. But mortals slowly turned again, losing faith and reverence in the fairies. Of course some superstition remained. Their rings were avoided, signs left were treated with the proper fear. But the mining began.

Her court again began to suffer, centuries passing as they became more and more poisoned with the nearby iron. The pollution. Their areas of play were reduced for fear of the mortals, of the increasingly terrifying machines they built. The court withered, became more chaotic as the threats they faced became seemingly insurmountable. And Titania proposed a new plan - to try again, in the mortal world. To try and connect themselves to it, so that they might flourish instead of being choked off.

The challenges began again - it took decades, the court debating amongst itself while the eldest of the court slowly kept slipping off into deeper places in the Earth to sleep instead of bothering. Given time, Titania finally managed to convince them. And so the Summer Court again moved. This time, to Nashville. They began to plan, to create, to inspire again as Titania and others started to build. A mound for the modern world. While many fairies had stayed behind, unwilling to leave their previous mound and its protections, or the sleeping lying deep in its depths, other wild fae slowly crept forward in curiosity. They begged Titania for an audience, for a chance.

She granted it. The Summer Court would adapt, she vowed. And it would grow.

FAMILY: Oberon (husband, deceased) - Theirs was a marriage of convenience, but they did love each other in their way. Once, twice, many times. Almost as many times as they hated each other, swore that this would be the last time he would be allowed into her bed. They fought and schemed and tricked and lusted and loved endlessly, the cycle almost as dependable as the cycle of the seasons themselves. For as turbulent as their relationship was, however, the respect they had for each other was deeply embedded within them. They complimented each other's strengths well, especially when united against an outside threat or united in their willingness to be merciful. For all their faults, there was always some genuine affection beneath it all. And Oberon's murder struck Titania deeply, to the point where she still grieves the loss of her partner. She took both the trials of magic and might herself every cycle since Oberon has passed, taking complete control of the court herself in her unwillingness to partner with any other. Her king has passed. Long live the queen, in all her glory.

SEXUALITY AND RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Pansexual, widowed. Titania has no interest in another lover. OTHER TIES: Robin Goodfellow (Puck): A near constant source of annoyance for Titania, but a loyal one if nothing else. Robin is one of the strongest courtiers in the Summer Court, even if he is something of a wild card. He was loyal most to Oberon, but does take some direction still from Titania. Even if that direction seems to be mostly shooing him away from her secretary's desk and out of her way. He's dubbed himself Titania's personal pest, but she trusts him far more than she'd ever admit out loud. If nothing else, he's loyal to her and it's far better the devil you know. But that doesn't mean she hasn't forgotten the damned donkey head business.

WANTED CONNECTIONS: Robin Goodfellow (Puck), other members of the Summer Court especially

LIKES: Warmth, a red lipstick that actually lasts more than an hour, good tailoring, jewel tones, iced tea, Indian food and spices, musical talent, peaches, sangria DISLIKES: Cold, Winter, The Erlking, Puck, the phone ringing, stressed out artists, losing HOBBIES: Growing peaches, bee keeping, befriending mortals and learning of their lives, watching the stars move in their rotations, amusing herself by reading the latest tripe mortals have produced of her, taking on different forms and faces to travel all over the world, travelling through the suns own rays. She loves going to the very centers of the deserts, in the complete solitude of it, soaking up the heat and the small lives of the few plants and animals brave enough to be there. SKILLS: Stoking passion and soothing rage in turns. Leading her court and somehow managing all of the fiery tempers, the various passions into something approaching order. Finding talent and stoking it into something glorious and blazing. Burning that which is harmful or useless, building something new and stronger from the ashes MEDICAL CONDITIONS: None CURRENT FINANCIAL STATUS: What she and the court make go into a collective, essentially. They all have more than what they really know what to do with, at this point. PLACES: The Summer Court’s Mound, concealed within the Midsummer Records building on Music Row. PETS: Titania tends to several bee hives, but one in particular seems very attached to her. Their queen has been known to drift out and confer with her frequently - for bees know just about everything, you know. They hear many things. Titania calls their queen Esme for a mortal series that caught her attention.

She often has a cat loping along after her, a little domestic serval that can't bear to have his owner far from his sight - Cobweb, simply because she was so tickled by Shakespeare's play. For those paying enough attention, however, or with just a little magic... there's something just a bit off, about the cat. Sometimes its shadow seems too large, for such a cat. Its pawsteps too heavy for something so small. And for those with the sight, well, sometimes he seems far more like a lion.

KNOWN MAGIC: Titania is extremely strong in her magics, both destruction and that of growing. In truth, however, she is strongest at destroying - fire being her preference. She draws strongest on elemental magics, but she is offensively trained far more than defensively. MAGICAL ITEMS: A crown woven of gold frame with an ever changing arrangement of flowers woven into it- one day it might be marigolds and zinnias, the next it might be peonies and plumeria. Other times, it is flame itself woven into the crown, while the flowers are nothing more than ashes ever burning.

An onyx sword, long ago shaped and forged for the monarch of the Summer Court.

RUMORS: Some whisper she's gone mad, after the death of Oberon. It must be madness, to have taken her court into the mortal world, to create a mound inside the city itself. Madness or, perhaps, ambitious - Oberon's death and the attack on them is surrounded by hushed whispers and mystery. And she's managed to take the throne for herself entirely since then, perhaps ambition finally overtook her fondness for him. Perhaps the iron that entered Oberon's heart was thrust there by his very own wife.

WRITING SAMPLE:

"Do I really want to know?" Titania stared up at the monstrosity currently blocking the lobby, what had once been carved driftwood and plants woven together into something... else. She wasn't exactly certain what it was supposed to be, but there was no doubt that it was a problem. Mostly because driftwood wasn't meant to grow. Especially not within an hour.

"Do you really have to ask?" Amber shot her a sardonic half smile, the leanan sídhe poking halfheartedly at the branches. The closest thing she had to a reliable second-in-command, really, her value was endless in this mortal world - she'd taken mortal lovers for centuries, as a wild fae. She understood their technology far better than Titania herself did - and miles above the more resistant members of the court.

Titania grimaced at the question, nodding to concede the point, "Of course it was him. Did he give a reason, this time?"

"He thought you seemed bored today."

"Not bored enough for this kind of shit," Titania muttered, trying to figure out if she should spend the extra time unweaving the spell or just go fetch a dryad to mess with it. She mostly just wanted to set it all aflame, but that would just attract panic. Even if they weren't outright caught by one of the many recording artists, agents, press, and assorted others in the building today, the smoke smell was difficult to actually get out of a room. She knew that from personal experience.

She sighed, putting her hands against the bark of the driftwood and closing her eyes, starting to whisper a slow, singing sort of spell. The effect wasn't immediate, but it became apparent soon enough as the wood began to creak and moan, reshaping itself with groaning complaints but willing to listen. Hard not to, with such a soft song curling around, whispering and cajoling as though it were sentient itself. The sculpture restructured itself into whatever abstract nonsense it had been before, slowly, as Titania began to fade off.

The burst of applause was met with a sullen glare to the source while he just continued to grin triumphantly. "See? You were bored. And easy fix, right? I know, I know, you can thank me later."

"Puck-" Her menacing tone was cut off blithely as Puck stuck his head around the corner again to interrupt.

"Oh, by the way, there's a messenger waiting in your office for you, someone from the Spring Court?"

Her sigh was even louder the second time around, all the more aggrieved. This wasn't exactly what she had in mind for excitement. But she supposed it worked all the same.

#lwdbio

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randomguywholikesstuff · 7 years

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Quotes From: Jonathan Haidt. “The Happiness Hypothesis: Finding Modern Truth in Ancient Wisdom”[2]

Reprocity

“Reciprocity is a deep instinct; it is the basic currency of social life...

For all the nonhuman ultrasoeial species, that feature was the genetics of kin altruism....

Here's where the ancestors of bees, termites, and mole rats took the common mechanism of kin altruism, which makes many species sociable, and parlayed it6 into the foundation of their u nco m m o n ultrasociality: They are all siblings. T h o s e species each evolved a reproduction system in which a single queen produces all the children, and nearly all the children are either sterile (ants) or else their reproductive abilities are suppressed (bees, mole rats); therefore, a hive, nest, or colony of these animals is one big family...

We h u m a n s also try to extend the reach of kin altruism by using fictitious kinship n a m e s for nonrelatives, as when children are encouraged to call their parents' friends Uncle Bob and Aunt Sarah”

“The human mind finds kinship deeply appealing, and kin altruism surely underlies the cultural ubiquity of nepotism”

“In his insightful book Influence, Robert Cialdinj of Arizona S t a t e University cites this a n d other s t u d i e s as e v i d e n c e that p e o p l e h a v e a mindless, automatic reciprocity reflex. Like other animals, we will p e r f o r m certain behaviors w h e n the world p r e s e n t s us with certain patterns of input...

ethological reflex: a p e r s o n receives a favor from an a c q u a i n t a n c e a n d wants to repay the favor...

“So what is really built into the person is a strategy: Play tit for tat. Do to others wha t they do unto you .”

“Like the Godfather, bats play tit for tat, and so do other social animals, particularly those that live in relatively small, stable groups where individuals can recognize each other as individuals.12”

“Vengeance and gratitude are moral sentiments that amplify and enforce tit' for tat. Vengeful and grateful feelings appear to have evolved precisely b e c a u s e they are such useful tools for helping individuals create cooperative relationships, thereby reaping the gains from non-zero-sum g a m e s . 1 3 A species equipped with vengeance and gratitude responses can support”

“larger and more cooperative social groups because the payoff to cheaters is reduced by the costs they bear in making enemies.Conversely, the benefits of generosity are increased because one gains friends.”

“the logarithm of the brain size is almost perfectly proportional to the logarithm of the social group size. In other words, all over the animal kingdom, brains grow to m a n a g e larger and larger groups. Social animals are smart animals”

Gossip

“Language allows small groups of people to bond quickly and to learn from each other about the bonds of others..

in short, Dunbar proposes that language evolved because it enabled gossip. Individuals who could share social information, using any primitive means of communication, had an advantage over those who could not...

And once people began gossiping, there was a runaway competition to master the arts of social manipulation, relationship aggression, and reputation management, all of which require yet more brain power”

“Gossip elicits gossip, and it enables us to keep track of everyone's reputation without having to witness their good and bad deeds personally...

Gossip creates a non-zero-sum game because it costs us nothing to give each other information, yet we both benefit by receiving information...

In a world with no gossip, people would not get away with murder but they would get away with a trail of rude, selfish, and antisocial acts, often oblivious to their own violations. Gossip extends our moral—emotional toolkit. In a gos-sipy world, we don't just feel vengeance and gratitude toward those who hurt or help us; we feel pale but still instructive flashes of c o n t e m p t and anger toward people whom we might not even know. We feel vicarious s h a m e and embarrassment when we hear about people whose s c h e m e s , lusts, and private failings are exposed. G o s s i p is a policeman and a teacher.

Without it, there would be chaos and ignorance...

As long as everyone plays tit-for tat a u g m e n t e d by gratitude, vengeance, and gossip, the whole system should work beautifully. (It rarely does, however, because of our self-serving biases a n d massive hypocrisy.”

Reprocity in Intimate Relaitonships

“Relationships are exquisitely sensitive to balance in their early stages, and a great way to ruin things is either to give too m u c h (you seem perhaps a bit desperate) or too little (you seem cold and rejecting). Rather, relationships grow best by balanced give and take, especially of gifts, favors, attention, and self-disclosure...

people often don't realize the degree to which the disclosure of personal information is a gambit in the d a t i n g game. W h e n s o m e o n e tells you about past romantic relationships, there is conversational pressure for you to do the same. If this disclosure card is played too early, you might feel ambivalence—your reciprocity reflex m a k e s you prepare your own matching disclosure but s o m e other part of you resists sharing intimate details with a near-stranger”

“humans are partially hive creatures, like bees, yet in the modern world we spend nearly all our time outside of the hive. Reciprocity, like love, reconnects us with others”

Hypocrisy

“There is a special pleasure in the irony of a moralist brought down for the very moral failings he has condemned. It's the pleasure of a well-told joke. With hypocrisy, the hypocrite's preaching is the setup, the hypocritical action is the punch line”

“Players f a c e a binary choice at each point: They can cooperate or defect. Each player then reacts to what the other player did in the previous round.

In real life, however, you don't react to what someone did; you react only to what you think she did, and the gap b e t w e e n action and p e r c e p t i o n is bridged by the art of impression management. If life itself is but what you deem it, then why not focus your efforts on persuading others to believe that you are a virtuous and trustworthy cooperator?”

“Niccolo Machiavelli”

“the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are...

People who reported being most concerned about caring for others and about issues of social responsibility were more likely to open the bag, but they were not more likely to give the other person the positive task. In other words, people who think they are particularly moral are in fact more likely to "do the right thing" and flip the coin but when the coin flip comes out against them, they find a way to ignore it and follow their own self-interest. Batson called this tendency to value the appearance of morality over the reality "moral hypocrisy”

“We are well-armed for battle in a Machiavellian world of reputation manipulation, and one of our most important weapons is the delusion that we are non-combatants. How do we get away with it?”

Confirmation Bias

“Studies of "motivated reasoning"13 show that people who are motivated to reach a particular conclusion are even worse reasoners than those in Kuhn's and Perkins's studies, but the mechanism is basically the s a m e : a one-sided search for supporting evidence only...

Over and over again, studies show that people set out on a cognitive mission to bring back reasons to support their preferred belief or action. And because we are usually successful in this mission, we end up with the illusion of objectivity. We really believe that our position is rationally and objectively justified...

“the rider—your c o n s c i o u s , reasoning self; a n d he is taking orders from the elephant—your automatic and u n c o n s c i o u s self. T h e two are in c a h o o t s to win at the g a m e of life by playing Machiavellian tit for tat, and both are in denial about it...

To win at this g a m e you m u s t present your best possible self to others.”

Self Comparisons

“W h e n comparing ourselves to others, the general process is this: F r a m e the question (unconsciously, automatically) so that the trait in q u e s t i o n is related to a self-perceived strength, then go out and look for e v i d e n c e that you have the strength...

In fact, evidence shows that people who hold pervasive positive illusions about themselves, their abilities, and their future prospects are mentally healthier, happier, and better liked than people who lack such illusions. But such biases can make people feel that they deserve more than they do, thereby setting the stage for endless disputes with other people who feel equally over-entitled....

Whenever people form cooperative groups, which are usually of mutual benefit, self-serving biases threaten to fill group m e m b e r s with mutual resentment.”

Naive Realism

“Pronin and Ross trace this resistance to a phenomenon they call "naive realism": Each of us thinks we see the world directly, as it really is. We further believe that the facts as we see them are there for all to see, therefore others should agree with us. If they don't agree, it follows either that they have not yet been exposed to the relevant facts or else that they are blinded by their interests and ideologies. People acknowledge that their own backgrounds have shaped their views, but such experiences are invariably seen as deepening one's insights; for example, being a doctor gives a person special insight into the problems of the health-care industry. But the background of other people is used to explain their biases and covert motivations;...

It just seems plain as day, to the naive realist, that everyone is influenced by ideology and self-interest”

“If I could nominate one candidate for "biggest obstacle to world p e a c e and social harmony," it would be naive realism because it is so easily ratcheted up from the individual to the group level: My group is right b e c a u s e we see things as they are. T h o s e who disagree are obviously biased by their religion, their ideology, or their self-interest. Naive realism gives us a world full of good and evil, and this brings us to the most disturbing implication of the sages' advice about hypocrisy: Good and evil do not exist outside of our beliefs about them.”

“The myth of pure evil is the ultimate self-serving bias, the ultimate form of naive realism. And it is the ultimate cause of most long-running cycles of violence because both sides use it to lock themselves into a Manichaean struggle”

“In another unsettling conclusion, Baumeister found that violence and cruelty have four main causes. The first two are obvious attributes of evil: greed/ambition (violence for direct personal gain, as in robbery) and sadism (pleasure in hurting people). But greed/ambition explains only a small portion of violence, and sadism explains almost none. Outside of children's car-toons and horror films, people almost never hurt others for the sheer joy of hurting someone. The two biggest causes of evil are two that we think are good, and that we try to encourage in our children: high self-esteem and moral idealism. Having high self-esteem doesn't directly cause violence, but when someone's high esteem is unrealistic or narcissistic, it is easily threatened by reality; in reaction to those threats, people—particularly young men—often lash out violently...

Threatened self-esteem accounts for a large portion of violence at the individual level, but to really get a mass atrocity going you need idealism—the belief that your violence is a means to a moral end. Idealism easily becomes dangerous because it brings with it, almost inevitably, the belief that the ends justify the means. But when a moral mission and legal rules are incompatible, we usually care more about the mission. They want the "good guys" freed by any means, and the "bad guys" convicted by any means...

The anthropologist Clifford Geertz wrote that "man is an animal suspended in webs of significance that he himself has spun”

Leveraging Repocity and Perception

“That is, the world we live in is not really one made of rocks, trees, and physical objects; it is a world of insults, opportunities, status symbols, betrayals, saints, and sinners. All of these are human creations which, though real in their own way, are not real in the way that rocks and trees are real. T h e s e human creations are like fairies in J. M. Barries Peter Pan: They exist only if you believe in t h e m .”

“Feeling Good, a popular guide to cognitive therapy, David Burns has written a chapter on cognitive therapy for anger...

Burns focuses on the should statements we carry around—ideas about how the world should work, and about how people should treat us...

Violations of these should statements are the major c a u s e s of anger and resentment...

Finding fault with yourself is also the key to overcoming the hypocrisy and judgmentalism that damage so many valuable relationships...

You can take a small piece of the disagreement and say, "I should not have done X, and I can see why you felt Y." Then, by the power of reciprocity, the other person will likely feel a strong urge to say, "Yes, I was really upset by X. But I guess I shouldn't have done P, so I can see why you felt Q . " Reciprocity amplified by self-serving biases drove you apart back when you were matching insults or hostile gestures, but you can turn the process around and use reciprocity to end a conflict and save a relationship”

“People win at the game of life by achieving high status and a good reputation, cultivating friendships, finding the best mate(s), accumulating resources, and rearing their children to be successful at the same game. People have many goals and therefore many sources of pleasure”

Positive Affect

“two types of positive affect. T h e first he calls "pre-goal attainment positive affect," which is the pleasurable feeling you get as you make progress toward a goal. T h e second is called "post-goal attainment positive affect," which Davidson says arises once you .have achieved something you want. In other words, when it comes to goal pursuit, it really is the journey that counts, not the destination. Set for yourself any goal you want. Most of the pleasure will be had along the way, with every step that takes you closer”

The Progress Principle

“the progress principle": Pleasure comes more from making progress toward goals than from achieving them...

We are bad at "affective forecasting" that is, predicting how we'll feel in the future. We grossly overestimate the intensity and the duration of our emotional reactions. T h e human mind is extraordinarily sensitive to changes in conditions, but not so sensitive to absolute levels”

Adaptation Principle

“This is the adaptation principle at work: People's judgments about their present state are based on whether it is better or worse than the state to which they have become accustomed...

Instead of following Buddhist and Stoic advice to surrender attachments and let events happen, we surround ourselves with goals, hopes, and expectations, and then feel pleasure and pain in relation to our progress”

“In every permanent situation, where there is no expectation of change, the mind of every man, in a longer or shorter time, returns to its natural and usual state of tranquility. In prosperity, after a certain time, it falls back to that state; in adversity, after a certain time, it rises up to it.”

Happiness and Marriage

“Happiness causes marriage. Happy people marry sooner and stay married longer than people with a lower happiness setpoint, both because they are more appealing as dating partners and because they are easier to live with as spouses. But much of the apparent benefit is a real and lasting benefit of dependable companionship, which is a basic need; we never fully adapt either to it or to its absence...

a string of objective advantages in power, status, freedom, health, and sunshine—all of which are subject to the adaptation principle”

“Happy people grow rich faster because, as in the marriage market, they are more appealing to others (such as bosses), and also b e c a u s e their frequent positive emotions help them to commit to projects, to work hard, and to invest in their futures”

“One of the most consistent lessons the ancient sages teach is to let go, stop striving, and choose a new path”

Happiness Formula

“fundamentally different kinds of externals: the conditions of your life and the voluntary activities that you undertake”

“Conditions include facts about your life that you can't change (race, sex, age, disability) as well as things that you can (wealth, marital status, where you live). Conditions are constant over time, at least during a period in your life, and so they are the sorts of things that you are likely to adapt to.

Voluntary activities, on the other hand, are the things that you choose to do, such as meditation, exercise, learning a new skill, or taking a vacation. B e c a u s e s u c h activities must be chosen, and because most of them take effort and attention, they can't just disappear from your awareness the way conditions can.. Voluntary activities, therefore, offer m u c h greater promise for increasing happiness while avoiding adaptation effects”

“happiness formula: H = S + C + V”

“Th e level of happiness that you actually experience (H) is determined by your biological set point (S) plus the conditions of your life ( C ) plus the voluntary activities (V) you do.”

“Noise, especially noise that is variable or intermittent, interferes with concentration and increases stress.35 It's.worth striving to remove sources of noise in your life...

subjects who thought they had control were more persistent when working on difficult puzzles, but the subjects who had experienced noise without control gave up more easily..

changing an institution's environment to increase the sense of control among its workers, students, patients, or other users was one of the most effective possible ways to increase their sense of engagement, energy, and happiness...

freed from such a daily burden may lead to a lasting increase in self-confidence and well-being.”

Relationships Importance

“T h e condition that is usually said to trump all others in importance is the strength and number of a person's relationships. Good relationships make people happy, and happy people enjoy more and better relationships than unhappy people”

“conflicts in relationships is one of the surest ways to reduce your happiness. You never adapt to interpersonal conflict; it damages every day, even days when you don't see the other person but ruminate about the conflict nonetheless.”

Flow and Pleasure (fleeting) vs Gratification (fulfilling)

“It is the state of total immersion in a task that is challenging yet closely matched to one's abilities. T h e keys to flow: There's a clear challenge that fully engages your attention; you have the skills to meet the challenge; and you get immediate feedback about how you are doing at each step (the progress principle)...

In the flow experience, elephant and rider are in perfect harmony. T h e elephant (automatic processes) is doing most of the work, running smoothly through the forest, while the rider (conscious thought) is completely absorbed in looking out for problems and opportunities, helping wherever he can...

Seligman proposes a fundamental distinction between pleasures and gratifications. Pleasures are "delights that have clear sensory and strong emotional components, such as may be derived from food, sex, backrubs, and cool breezes. Gratifications are activities that engage you fully, draw on your strengths, and allow you to lose self-consciousness. Gratifications can lead to flow... Pleasures must be spaced to maintain their potency...

the elephant has a tendency to over-indulge, the rider needs to encourage it to get up and move on to another activity. Variety is the spice of life b e c a u s e it is the natural enemy of adaptation. The key to finding your own gratifications is to know your own strengths... and development of a catalog of strengths”

“You can increase your happiness if you use your strengths, particularly in the service of strengthening c o n n e c t i o n s — h e l p i n g friends, e x p r e s s i n g gratitude to benefactors...

Performing a random act of kindness every day could get tedious, but if you know your strengths a n d draw up a list of five activities that engage them, you can surely a d d at least o n e gratification to every day ...

choose your own gratifying activities, do them regularly (but not to the point of tedium), and raise your overall level of h a p p i n e s s”

“Evolution s e e m s to have m a d e us "strategically irrational" at times for our own good”

“another kind of irrationality: the vigor with which people pursue many goals that work against their o w n h a p p i n e s s.

Happiness and Consumerism

“Inconspicuous consumption, on the other hand, refers to goods and activities that are valued for themselves, that are usually consumed more privately, and that are not bought for the purpose of achieving status”

“experiences give more happiness in part b e c a u s e they have greater social value..

The elephant cares about prestige, not happiness, and it looks eternally to others to figure out what is prestigious...

The pursuit of luxury g o o d s is a happiness trap; it is a d e a d end that people race toward in the mistaken belief that it will make them h a p p y”

Paradox of Choice

" psychologist Barry Schwartz calls this the "paradox of choice"...

We value choice and put ourselves in situations of choice, even though choice often undercuts our happiness. But Schwartz and his colleagues find that the paradox mostly applies to people they call "maximizers"—those who habitually try to evaluate all the options, seek out more information, and make the best choice (or "maximize their utility," as economists would say)...

Maximizers end up making slightly better decisions than satisficers, on average (all that worry and information-gathering does help), but they are less happy with their decisions, and they are more inclined to depression and anxiety...

T h e point here is that maximizers engage in more social comparison, and are therefore more easily drawn into conspicuous consumption.”

“cybernetics—the study of how mechanical and biological systems can regulate themselves to achieve preset goals while the environment around and inside them changes.”

Attachment Theory and Childhood Development

“Attachment theory begins with the idea that two basic goals guide children's behavior: safety and exploration. A child who stays safe survives; a child who explores and plays develops the skills and intelligence needed for adult life...

If you want your children to grow up to be healthy and independent, you should hold them, hug them, cuddle them, and love them. Give them a secure base and they will explore and then conquer the world on their own...

he observed mothers at home and found that those who were warm and highly responsive to their children were most likely to have children who showed secure attachment in the strange situation. These children had learned that they could count on their mothers, and were therefore the most bold and confident. Mothers who were aloof and unresponsive were more likely to have avoidant children, who had learned not to expect much help and comfort from mom. Mothers whose responses were erratic and unpredictable were more likely to have resistant children, who had learned that their efforts to elicit comfort sometimes paid off, but sometimes not.

My skepticism is bolstered by the fact that studies done after Ainsworth's h o m e study have generally found only small correlations between mothers' responsiveness and the attachment style of their children.18”

No one event is particularly important, but over lime the child builds up what Bowlby called an "internal working m o d e l " of himself, his mother, and their relationship. If the model says that m o m is always there for you, you'll be bolder in your play and explorations. Round after round, predictable and reciprocal interactions build trust and strengthen the relationship

“fake one ancient attachment system, mix with an equal m e a s u r e of caregiving system, throw in a modified mating system and voila, that's romantic love”

Myth of True Love: Passionate vs Companionate Love

“As I see it, the modern myth of true love involves these beliefs: True love is passionate love that never fades; if you are in true love, you should marry that person; if love ends, you should leave that person because it was not true love; and if you can find the right person, you will have true love forever”

30 December 2016

“According to the love researchers Ellen Berscheid and Elaine Walster, passionate love is a "wildly emotional state in which tender and sexual feelings, elation and pain, anxiety and relief, altruism and jealousy coexist in a confusion of feelings.

“Berscheid and Walster define c o m p a n i o n a t e love, in contrast, as "the affection we feel for those with w h o m our lives are deeply intertwined.

“C o m p a n i o n a t e love grows slowly over the years as lovers apply their attachment and caregiving systems to each other, and as they begin to rely u p o n , care for, and trust e a c h other”

“If the m e t a p h o r for passionate love is fire, I he m e t a p h o r for c o m p a n i o n a t e love is vines growing, intertwining, a n d gradually binding two people together”

“At that point, tolerance has set in, and when the drug is withdrawn, the brain is unbalanced in the opposite direction: pain, lethargy, and despair follow withdrawal from cocaine or from passionate love.”

“So if passionate love is a drug—literally a drug—it has to wear off eventually. Nobody can stay high forever (although if you find passionate love in a long-distance relationship, it's like taking cocaine once a month; the drug can retain its potency because of your suffering between doses).”

“The Time Course of the Two Kinds of Love (Short Run) ding”

“True love, the love that undergirds strong marriages, is simply strong companionate love, with some added passion, between two people who are firmly committed to each other..

But if we change the time scale from six months to sixty years, as in the next figure, it is passionate love that seems trivial—a flash in the p a n”

“The Time Course of the Two Kinds of Love (Long Run”

“The Laws of Manu, an ancient Hindu treatise on how young Brahmin men should live, was even more negative about women: "It is the very nature of women to corrupt men here on earth.”

Philosophy of Love

“I have never seen anyone who loved virtue as much as sex.

For Plato, when human love resembles animal love, it is degrading. The love of a man for a woman, as it aims at procreation, is therefore a debased kind of love.”

“The essential nature of love as an attachment between two people is rejected; love can be dignified only when it is converted into an appreciation of beauty in general”

“Rather, Christian love has focused on two key words:- caritas and agape. Caritas (the origin of our word "charity") is a kind of intense benevolence and good will; agape is a Greek word that refers to a kind of selfless, spiritual love with no sexuality, no clinging to a particular other person

There are several reasons why real human love might make philosophers uncomfortable. First, passionate love is notorious for making people illogical and irrational, and Western philosophers have long thought that morality is grounded in rationality...

The extensive regulation of sex in many cultures, the attempt to link love to God and then to cut away the sex, is part of an elaborate defense against the gnawing fear of mortality”

Morality and Social ties

“The more weakened the groups to which [a man] belongs, the less he depends on them, the more he consequently depends only on himself and recognizes no other rules of conduct than what are founded on his private interests...

Having strong social relationships strengthens the immune system, extends life (more than does quitting smoking), speeds recovery from surgery, and reduces the risks of depression and anxiety disorders. It's not just that extroverts are naturally happier and healthier; when introverts are forced to be more outgoing, they usually enjoy it and find that it boosts their mood. Even people who think they don't want a lot of social contact still benefit from it.”

Freedom from Social Norms

“An ideology of extreme personal freedom can be dangerous b e c a u s e it encourages people to leave h o m e s , jobs, cities, and marriages in search of personal and professional fulfillment, thereby breaking the relationships that were probably their best hope for such fulfillment...

S e n e c a was right: " N o one can live happily who has regard to himself alone and transforms everything into a question of his own utility...

We are an ultrasocial s p e c i e s , full of emotions finely tuned for loving, befriending, helping, sharing, and otherwise intertwining our lives with others. Attachments and relationships can bring us pain: As a character in Jean-Paul Sartre's play No Exit said, "Hell is other people."57 But so is heaven.”

The Adversity Hypothesis: Benefit from Adversity

“although traumas, crises, and tragedies c o m e in a thousand forms, people benefit from them in three primary ways..

rising to a challenge reveals your hidden abilities, and seeing these abilities changes your s e l f - c o n c e p t . N o n e of us knows what we are really capable of enduring...

h e second class of benefit concerns relationships. Adversity is a filter.

“When a person is diagnosed with cancer, or a couple loses a child, some friends and family members rise to the occasion and look for any way they can to express support or to be helpful. Others turn away, perhaps unsure of what to say or unable to overcome their own discomfort with the situation.

But adversity doesn't just separate the fair-weather friends from the true; it strengthens relationships and it opens people's hearts to one another. We often develop love for those we care for, and we usually feel love and gratitude toward those who cared for us in a time of need. ...

Trauma changes priorities and philosophies toward the present ("Live each day to the fullest") and toward other people...

T h e reality that people often wake up to is that life is a gift they have b e e n taking for granted, and that people matter m o r e than money...

The adversity hypothesis has a weak and a strong version. In the weak version, adversity can lead to growth, strength, joy, and self-improvement...

T h e weak version is well-supported by research, but it has few clear implications for how we should live our lives. The strong version of the hypothesis is m o r e unsettling: It states that people must endure adversity to grow, and that the highest levels of growth and development are only open to those who have laced and overcome great adversity. If the strong version of the hypothesis is valid, it has profound implications for how we should live our lives and structure our societies. It means that we should take more chances and suffer more defeats...

It means that we might be dangerously overprotecting our children, offering them lives of bland safety and too much counseling while depriving them of the "critical incidents" that would h e l p them to grow strong and to develop the most intense friendships. It m e a n s that heroic societies, which fear dishonor more than death, or societies that struggle together through war, might produce better human beings than can a world of peace and prosperity in which people's expectations rise so high that they sue each other for "emotional damages.”

#thehappinesshypothesis #happiness #depression #humannature

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