#fuck fuck im going to spiral

[malk-with-tea]

Some magma doodles I did last night :)

#can you tell im a little brainrotted #ough uhh from order from top left to right and down???? #hs terezi #terezi pyrope #dungeon meshi #marcille dungeon meshi #ivor mcsm #karkat vantas #hs karkat #quirrel #hk quirrel #hk hollow #the hollow knight #the star fella at the right corner is an oc (totally not tezzy inspired hcjc) #and the ivor look alike at the left corner is my partner hfjfjfjdkdjdbjd #i need to play mcsm again man #but i think the moment i think im gonna go down the mcsm brainrot spiral all over again #aauhhh #hk #mcsm #delicious in dungeon #hollow knight #homestuck #oc #oughhhhhhhhhhhh #magma art #magma doodles #WAIT EDIT FUCK I JUST REALIZED I MIXED UP MY LEFT AND RIGHTS #finally added id!

[buwheal]

Spamton, here's something I drew of you!! (It's originally in black and white btw, so you're not missing out on anything) I just really liked how nicely you style your hair, that i had to draw about it :)

I tried to make it as accurate as possible to how we can see you through the camera! ^_^ i think that your ventriloquist dummy jaw looks super cool, as well as all your ball joints on your hands and arms.

- Marrow

#(stares at the audience) so guys. guys. so. so guys. how about that. #[you've got mail!] #spamton #yipes im eepy. #spamton g spamton #deltarune #deltarune spamton #deltarune chapter 2 #thats fucked up marrow yk that right. yk that hes going to spiral. right.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

ok so

the instructions were for Wally, not the whrp/qa/You. which is especially interesting, because I think we all assumed they were instructions from Wally - after all, he's the one telling the whrp that they have work to do, he's sending envelopes (assumedly), he's sort of the driving force behind the whole in-universe project. he calls the shots, in a way. he's the one with the phone.

so who the hell is giving Wally instructions?

is it related to the distorted "extra" voice under Wally's in some of his hidden record audios? is it related to Sally's "monster"? is there someone else in Home?

just... there's a whole 'nother layer underneath Wally that i think is really scary. there's something else there, i feel. i Fear. i wonder if Wally is aware of it, or if he isn't quite as aware as we all - including him - like to think. how aware can a puppet be if they can't see their own strings (so to speak)? it's one thing to know what you are, and another entirely to understand what that entails.

#is there a puppetmaster? something or someone lurking underneath the surface? #i know there's not like... a Big Bad if i remember correctly #but im really suspicious that there is something Extra fucking with wally #like i really hope wally is acting of his own accord #but then again - what if its a mix of him acting on his own AND something else pushing him forward #is there something trying to get Out of home? #i think now of the 'im going to get it out' sentence from the about us page #i feel like wally is trying to stay In. i feel like he just wants to revive the show but he wants to Stay #so what the hell is trying get Out. to Leave #that sentence could just be talking about the show / memories of it #but now. im just. im thinking #homebogging #and i cant remember exactly but something about wally closing the guestbook bc it wasnt 'fun' anymore for some reason #i doubt the extra secret Something is home themself #because home seems to be Suffering to an extent from wally's attempts to connect with the 'outside' world #SO WHAT IS IT? HUH #i swear to fuck its connected to sally's so-called monster. the distortion. the spiral/eye pit. something looking through wally #which - no too many thoughts about that to say in tags #AND WHY IS WALLY DOING WHAT WHATEVER IT IS SAYS #is it automatic? like a 'oh. instructions. ill follow them' or does he Know who's talking to him or or or #i feel like an entire layer of the story was just revealed to us in one small simple marvelous update #who the hell is telling wally darling what to do...

[lostinthesasuke]

a joyous mikoto monday to you all

#im sorry #mikoto monday #mikoto uchiha #sasuke uchiha #fugaku uchiha #itachi uchiha #uchiha family #naruto amv #mp4 #i wasn't going to post this but i was encouraged so now it's your problem too #also tumblr fucked up my loop which makes me so mad ... #grief as an inescapable spiral. #death

[phoebespenglers]

can we please stop telling people to kill themselves and to rot in hell and that they deserve to be bullied and that they are inherently horrible people who deserve to die and get doxxed. please. can we please stop doing that.

#like #okay first of all. do you understand the gravity of what youre saying or are you just throwing words into sentences #second of all. that kind of language is so fucking harmful for people with ocd or just obsessions with morality #because i mean not to make this abt Me (though this is kind of a vent ) but when i see people saying that it just. Sends me into spirals #because if people can say that to other people then what if they say it to me because i secretly believe the same things (even if i don't #-most of the time!) #what if im an inherently horrible person deep down? am i going to rot in hell for feeling slightly bad for this person? #i cant imagine that others dont feel like this or something along those lines. #im so fucking sick of death threats they do nothing. they do fucking jackshit except make more people feel terrible. #if you send death threats to people or say shit like this im blocking you. i dont want you in my space #bee.txt #moral ocd #scrupulosity

[xxragingdumpsterfirexx]

Some more very specific gifs of Kid

#my gifs #one piece gif #op gifs #eustass kid #eustass captain kid #these are very specific #i was wondering what caused Killer to go into this downward spiral #im heartbroken now #wano has made me cry so fucking much #these are fanfic fodder for me

[coraldonkey1102]

thinking about how if it was any other story, Wilson, on his deathbed, would give house the classic "don't die. live. for me. please" last words. but not in this one. Wilson wouldn't do that to house, he knows it would be a cruelty to give house that choice or to leave him alone in the world. and Wilson wouldn't do that. and deep down, Wilson knows that he's just selfish enough to want to know he's not dying by himself.

#im on the bus and i had thoughts and i had to type this out I'm feeling motion sick now #anyway #house would not listen to “live. for me” last words #he would either go “fuck you and fuck that” and die anyway or send himself in a spiral over honouring wilson vs being done with it all #and wilson knows this and wilson wont do it to him #this is in the universes where house doesnt stay to kill 13 or stay to get a funeral (because wilson deserves that) sorted before dying #im all for fics/headcanons where wilsons in remission and stuff but also im a sucker for tradgedy and these gay fucks #house md #hilson #hatecrimes md

[souporsaladnatural]

Jensen ackles should be directing gay porn but instead hes wasting his talents on supernatural

#JUMPSCARED BY THIS IN MY DRAFTS #spn #supernatural #cat spirals tag #this was about the “directed by jensen ackles” post that was going around im not insane i prommy #yk wut #jensen ackles #fuck it we ball

[eremin0109]

I sometimes get so sad when I remember how Kiryu lost literally everyone that he'd ever loved in the span of a few days. Shinji, Reina, Yumi, Kazama, Nishiki—all of them died right before his eyes and he couldn't do a damn thing to stop it. He was so depressed by the end of Kiwami, ready to throw away his life, not caring if he ended up behind the bars for life.

Who did he even have left that he could go on for?

Date gives him a reason. The girl who looked a little too much like Yumi. And that sparks something inside him, something so unfamiliar it almost wreaks him from inside out. He couldn't save her mother, but he will die trying to protect Haruka. Because she's the only one he was living for anyway, right?

Who else did he even have?

Except, he had Majima too. He had always had him. Right from their first meeting in the hazy, glittering streets of Kamurocho in '88 to the violently ritualistic run-ins with him in the winter of '05, Majima was the only person who was a constant, grounding presence in his life, no matter how fluttering. This man waited 10 years for Kiryu to get out of prison, was tempted to follow him right in because fuck it, at least they'd be in that shithole together.

Majima is the only person still alive that Kiryu knows from before. And that's a big fucking deal. Majima knew Kiryu Kazuma before he was the "Dragon of Dojima". He knew him as the punk kid with ideals too lofty for their lawless world. In a way, they came of age together, and grew increasingly disillusioned with the Yakuza lifestyle, also together.

Today, Kiryu has more people he loves and more reasons to live than he did back in '05, but no matter how close they get to him, no one will ever get to see that part of him that long since got permanently buried in the rubble of the millennium tower.

No one but Majima, who knows and understands. God, he understands Kiryu so much. That's why, whenever they meet, they don't need to talk all that much. One glance, one fight and a couple of drinks later, it's like no time has passed and they're right back on that fated, glittery night at Tenkaichi, clashing for the first time ever.

Kiryu has spent his entire life protecting those he cares about. But Majima is different. Kiryu knows he doesn't need his protection. He knows that Majima wouldn't be killed simply because he had the misfortune of being associated with him. And so Kiryu subconsciously depends on Majima the way everyone else in his life depends on him. It's not entirely fair, maybe also a bit selfish but Majima indulges him, every single time, without asking anything in return.

So yeah, Date was right when he said that Kiryu had something precious to live for. Haruka, yes but also this crazy bastard of a man who would refuse to leave him alone for the better part of 3 decades.

And Kiryu loves him, goddamnit. There's just no simpler way to say it.

#“if yer gonna go 'round protecting everyone who's gonna protect ya Kiryu-chan?” Majima asks and then doesn't wait for an answer #truly one of thee most relationships of all time #fuck I only wanted to write a little post about how Majima is Kiryu's oldest “friend” and just how far they've come #but of course it spiralled into...whatever tf this is #im sad okay no one touch me #kazumaji #kiryu kazuma #majima goro #yakuza #yakuza kiwami #yakuza kiwami 2

[warpedpuppeteer]

We keep talking about jealous Buck and how Eddie is going to assure him he's not being replaced but how about we talk about jealous Buck and how that makes Eddie feel?? Can you imagine, if that's what gets Eddie going?? Like, he's over there thinking fuck, this man is literally so hot for me he's going feral because I'm friends with some dude. Can you imagine Eddie liking this side of Buck? Liking the fact that someone loves him enough that they're getting possessive of him? And even as he assures Buck (which he always will), he can't help but think he wouldn't mind Buck being jealous over him again and staking a claim on him? Like, he's Buck's and Buck is his. There's nothing or no-one who can change that but the thrill that shoots up his spine at the thought of Buck staking a claim on him makes him go oh, O H. No one has ever fought for him before. Shannon chose to leave (twice) and Ana didn't even put up a fight (not that he wanted to but still) and here is Buck, they're not even together and he's all bothered by this guy who's apparently getting too chummy with Eddie and while everyone doesn't think twice about leaving Eddie behind, here is Buck, choosing Eddie, fighting for him, getting jealous and possessive over him, to keep him in his life and fuck if that doesn't make Eddie feel all kinds of thrilled.

#buddie #thinking with my lizard brain on this one #something something about how they always choose each other #ngl it would be kinda funny if this is what makes eddie go wow maybe i can date buck #and it sends him on a self discovery spiral #and he's with frank like frank frank i think im in love with buck frank oh shit im in love with my best friend #and frank is like bro it's fucking 3am go to fucking sleep I'll see you tomorrow during your therapy session #then he hangs up like fucking called it best friend my ass #gimme eddie getting all hot and bothered watching buck be all angry over him #eddie diaz #evan buckley #evan buck buckley

[itstimeforstarwars]

Sometimes a blog that I've followed for years randomly follows me back and then I get nervous because The Guy is in my house and I didn't even get a chance to sweep before Their Coolness showed up.

#chit chat #hello! I've loved your opinions for years! what the fuck tho #it's always slightly baffling especially when they follow my main blog #like hi you’re cool and you have a punk vegan trans activism blog. im here going on an unhinged spiral about boromir #do you really wanna follow back? just asking.

[wulfhalls]

1/2 When you stop and realize that Billy’s entire relapse during Chicago wasn’t just about Camila threatening to leave him but really stemmed from him being forced for the first time to acknowledge what he’s spent everyday of the last three years fighting to bury and ignore: that he’s deeply in love with Daisy. Because the morning of the Chicago show he starts off his day in his Daisy love bubble openly expressing his desire to spend the next 20 years by her side writing together, fighting together, making art together, and everything inbetween. It’s Daisy that first forced him to acknowledge that they’re in love with each other and the bubble bursts, because she’s finally addressing the elephant in the room: that she’s in love with him and she wants more, she wants more than to just be his creative partner and artistic muse, she wants to be his partner in all ways. And you can see in that moment when she says it that Billy just…deflates because deep down he realizes that nothing will ever be the same again. He can’t have both Camila and Daisy by his side forever, it’s not fair to either woman. He’s finally being forced to see that. Which is why he gets desperate and says that even though he wants that too, but won’t leave Camila, he wants he and Daisy to stay trapped in this purgatory of their own making: sharing their deepest, most intimate, and raw feelings with one another but only thru their music, never actually feeling it in the “real world.” He’s clinging on to whatever bullshit rationalizations he can try and make to himself to hold onto Daisy at that point that I don’t think he even realized how much he shattered her heart by asking her “isn’t this enough?” Isn’t it enough for us to just stay here in purgatory with one another because I would rather suffer here with you everyday and never fully have you than ever be without you? It’s only when Camila confronts him in Chicago that Billy realizes he can’t have both Daisy and Camila in his life like this anymore. He lies to Camila’s face, several times. First he insists nothing at all is going on it’s just an “act” and then he lies to her again when he says he kissed her but it meant “nothing.” But Camila knows none of it is true, she knows what Billy isn’t strong enough to admit to himself: that he’s in love with Daisy. As Daisy did earlier in the day, Camila forces him to admit to not only himself but to her, and it’s so incredibly painful for Billy to do that not only can he refuse to lie and say that he doesn’t love Daisy, but he can’t even look Camila in the eye while doing so. Daisy showing up at that moment in the hallway was the final straw for Billy because in that moment he could no longer run away from the reality of their situation: here are both Camila and Daisy standing in front of him and he has to let one of them go. Camila tells him she’s done and leaves which triggers all of his abandonment and daddy issues, which is why in that moment I think it was easier for him to revert to his baseline of “I told her the truth that nothing happened and nothing ever will” even though he knows it’s a lie, because he’s still clinging onto his desire to keep everything as it was, he doesn’t want anything to change because once it does he will have to lose Daisy, as by his own words “she’s my wife…I’m never gonna leave her.” So in typical Billy fashion he callously and cruelly tells Daisy they will never be more than what they are now and goes after Camila, because maybe if he can fix this, fix them, he can try and get this sinking ship back on course. When Camila ignores his phone calls, and doesn’t show up to the show on time Billy breaks and fully gives into his addiction, if his world is going to implode then he wants it to implode with Daisy by his side, he wants them to be “broken together.” But what Billy fails to recognize in that moment is that it will never be enough for Daisy. She doesn’t want to be broken with him, she doesn’t want to be with him because his life imploded. She wants to be whole with him. Whole, healed, and complete together.

2/2 It’s one of the most devastating moments I’ve seen written on screen. I honestly think that of all the times Billy broke Daisy’s heart, and there were plenty, that this….this was the one that hurt her the most. (And is actually something I would love to see addressed if they did make a Season 2). Daisy’s refusal to spiral with Billy is what finally snaps him out of it, and when they head onto the stage for Look at Us Now, Billy already knows that it’s over, that he’s already lost Daisy. But he still can’t bring himself to walk away from her until she forces him too. Billy loved Daisy so much he was willing to live in hell everyday for the rest of his life, torturing them both by not being together, but not being willing to stay away from one another. Daisy loved him enough to realize that wasn’t enough and that she needed to walk away and let him go because they both deserved so much more than this. So much more than being stuck. And ultimately this was the real root of Billy’s relapse that day, having to finally walk away from the possibility of Daisy. As TJR says in the book “I realized that I had been holding on tightly to the possibility…the possibility of Daisy…and I was suddenly having a very hard time with letting that go, of saying never.” The show did such a good job of conveying this moment from the book because on the surface it seems that all of his turmoil is over losing Camila and his family, when really the root cause was Billy having to finally accept that he has to say goodbye to Daisy. As he knew deep down he wouldn’t leave Camila and that they would probably be able to recover from this. But losing Daisy? His heart would never fully recover from that.

u said in this essay I will and in this essay u DID. yall just giving me these beautifully written novel length takes for FREE.

#im just out here saying the most inconsequential shit ever and u guys are just serving insight understanding and coherence #ur all so sexi and smart #ur really doing all of that while im just divorce blogging we are not the same ur so much better its unrealsjdjdjd #daisybilly #daisy jones and the six #djats #that tweet that was like he was a mess and spiralling because his wife knew how much he wanted daisy all the goddamn time. yeah.jpeg #cant wait for s2 and camila in her skylar white esque era lets go polite courtesy and icy silences #i fucked eddie :D

[lobotomyladylives]

I think bpd is a bullshit stigmatizing label thrown at women to pathologize what is very obviously a response to prolonged childhood trauma and would be better labeled as C-PTSD. that being said my god I am bpd as fuck

#my sister just snapped at me bc i said i dont want to do a ton of physical labor for the job she signed me up for which apparently does i #in fact involve a lot of it. and her being mad for even that moment sent me spiraling so badly & i had the reaction i often do where #i start hating both her & myself terribly & want to isolate forever #i think she hates her new job & is taking it out on me but it doesnt matter bc i cant handle being yelled at #and the fact thst it took me till adulthood to realize thats bc i associate it with my father is crazy. yeah its just the cptsd like #everything else. and whats nutso is how i continue to think my trauma Wasnt Bad Enough for ptsd . #just bc he didnt beat the shit out of or molest me i feel like i dont even have a right to be this fucked up #not that it was only him. being bullied at school really did not help. i guess now that i think about it the problem is that until #i was a teenager i literally did not feel emotionally secure anywhere. home or school. always the ticking of a bomb in the bg #the inevitable moment my dad blew up over nothing or i overheard my peers talking about what a freak i was #i dont know why it still hurts to think about. im so far removed from it my life now couldnt be more different #well thats the stupid fucking thing about childhood isnt it. those are your very first experiences with the world & other ppl #i do know my view of romantic relationships was irrevocably poisoned by my parents & that is never going to be undone. so cool

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

ah yes! the joys of executive dysfunction and something being Fundamentally Broken In Your Braincase!

#quick vent Look Away Nothing To See Here #i just needed to place my emotions somewhere before i really started to spiral #texts from cherished friends should not cause nausea-level anxiety! and yet! #here i am! running away from the ever-present miasma of guilt and stress! #you know a few months ago i was like 'im going to be better about responding im going to do better' #i Immediately started doing Worse! #i think i stressed myself out too much #pretty much every relationship i have ends up completely deteriorating due to my own insecurities and guilt and fucked up brain <3 #ah yes and how could i forget the Commitment Issues and Emotional Block #mentally i am banging my head into a wall #but its fine Its Fine #i mean its not. its really not. but sometimes it seems like the harder i try the harder i fail #which is something i should be used to by now! #okay so it looks like i Am Indeed spiraling so #i am going to go... list some good things in this world and uhhh #well i dont have the car this weekend so cant go for a drive and some boba. um. #i need to organize my room table Yes that sounds distracting and falsely productive #not gonna tag this with anything actually. #love treating tumblr like my personal diary #ah yes its just me. my personal feelings. and the couple thousand people that follow me. #perhaps i will also buy something online with one of the gift cards i found the other day #buttons from michaels!!! i need buttons! i will go do that! #with the knowledge that i have unopened messages to respond to looming in the back of my mind like a noose! yippee yahoo!!! #gonna... turn of replies/rbs just this once since its just a Vent #i just needed to get it Out yk? not looking for anything other than relieving pressure on my brain #ok it looks like i cant turn of replies for individual posts #just... pretend you didnt see this for both our sakes <3 #look away look away

[anxiously-sidequesting]

Sorry to be posting twice in one day but now I wanna talk about Sybil's last line of dialogue at the end of Wallaru. Bro says "The Spiral will always need its Scion." In terms of new villains always arising, new worlds to explore, etc.

Now of course in the real world this means something totally different than in narrative; for us it means yay Wizard101 will continue and it's not ending and shit and thats good!!! But in universe, I believe that fact would have brought different feelings. Like sadness. Or anger. Or maybe just numbness.

Like if you think about it. The implications. The Wizard will never, CAN never rest. It's an ongoing, neverending thing of always being needed. It's You and ONLY You. There will never NOT be evil. If not GF Spider, then the Schism. If not the Schism, then the Old One. If not the Old One, then someone else. Someone or Something will always come up as a Threat that only the Scion (for some reason. Gods exists here) is expected and able to defeat. When Sybil said that I was legit terrified because gotdamn I can't retire???? I will Always be The Legend who Always saves the day???

Like even setting aside the social consequences of this (the whole people suspecting us/fearing us Thing) imagine what that does to your emotional and mental health. Fuck even physical health. Going through all that strenuous trauma and exercise and magical ordeals and shit???? The pressure of knowing it's the universe at stake, not just you or the world? I actually would have died just in arc 2 personally how the fuck are we supposed to carry this. For the REST. OF OUR LIVES. FOR HOWEVER LONG WE LIVE

✨ Anyways here's hoping the Schism Soldier is arc 5's new big baddie haha #enemiestolovers101 😘✌️💕💕💕

#im not good with words ir explaining things but i still wanted to talk about That. what sybil said #thats fucking rough man. thats fucking rough #ALWAYS???? the spiral will ALWAYS need its scion??? the fuck you mean. whats this ALWAYS business #mr krabs voice: whats this WE stuff!? #i just need a picture of malorn and the wizard getting drunk as fuck on a tuesday together looking beaten and bitter. beaten and bitter. #idk if the wizard is like quasi-immortal now or what. how long do we live actually #are we like gonna outlive dyvim. mellori and the bat??? will we be alive for centuries and STILL defending the spiral??? hello?????????????? #so like what happens if and when. we die. is the universe just fucked then? #what is the point of the council of light. gf spider and gm raven. BARTLEBY. if none of them do shit #they could literally do anything they wanted to but its US that has to be superman. okay #id actually go crazy i would actually just Become the joker guys. guys i would fucking lose it #wizard101 #w101 #wiz101 #text posts #wallaru spoilers #wizard101 spoilers #can you guys tell i just want the soldier to come back

[oozeandgoo-art]

#oc #haven #rex #monochrome #contents: a little raunchy for tumblr #doodle #really high effort one but it's about the shapes more than anything else lol #meme redraw #comic #i may color this. the original plan was to color it. however i spent all my energy for coloring on drawing an aftermath coda #im fond of this one. there's a lot happening in it #haven and rex are both dressed "up'' to annoy the other's plus-one minor enemy #<- specific au element #rex is wearing a weezer shirt because haven knows that'll piss off taran. haven is dressed up like rex's best attempt at a mid-00s surfer #because he knows felyx cant fucking stand haven and is also into buff masc dudes dressed in jeans with rhinestones and thinks it'll be funn #to put felyx in the Lustful Colander #(he is right) #haven's house is not actually a cool neat influencer home or whatever there's no like open floorplan white walls light bamboo floor bullshi #going on here. it's all like green and red granite tile and shit. the man has been around for a very long time he knows what kind of decor #he's fond of. those ARE fish tanks in the walls though. and a spiral staircase #the man has been around for a very long time. he does not give a shit if what he likes is 'tacky' #also when the one speechbubble he says gets weird it is because he is using a magic power and forcing rex to put his cigarette out. rex is #naturally kind of annoyed about this. it used to make haven wince when he put his cigs out on his hands so he keeps doing it every time thi #happens but he has not yet cottoned on to the fact that haven has fully stopped wincing and now just thinks it's a normal habit he has #and has no idea that it's specifically aimed in his direction #also haven has no issue with giving head but rex isn't aware of that. they don't communicate well #and what Rex is actually aware of mostly consists of 'asking him to bottom turned into a giant argument and then a physical actual fight #and he broke my jaw in like four places over it and it was awesome but i didnt get what i wanted' and kind of gave up on the subject #he couldve been getting his d!ck sucked this whole time and he didnt know it. so sad #lineart