#fucking do a live action about The Cabbage Guy and his life

[toytulini]

no but for real not to beat a dead horse that i havent seen and dont plan to but they keep trying to do live action atla and i just Do Not Get It? its already been done? quite well? the original cartoon is very good and it doesn't feel like its actually really lacking in a way that a remake would improve upon, and it doesnt seem like either remake has improved upon it, and it doesnt feel like they ever get the tone right either? and why are they only ever trying to adapt atla? why not the comics? or korra ? the adventures of fire lord zuko. i mean fuck i dont even like that they turned toph into a cop but they could do a Toph crime drama procedural. probably shouldnt i dont think that would be good but at least it would be like. a new idea. fucking, adapt the kyoshi novels maybe. i wont forgive you if you fuck them up of course, but im already not forgiving the live action ATLAs so like idk. why not try something new. something a little more original.

#toy txt post #i dont understand why it has to be adapted to live action in the first place honestly but like maybe even just try Something Else #maybe even like a brand new show even. could try that. how many different original new shows have the streaming services #filmed and produced and then didnt release for weird tax cut reasons again even tho i thought that was one of the things the writers and #sag aftra were trying to fix with the strike? and then the companies all just keep doing it anyway...? cool? #fucking do a live action about The Cabbage Guy and his life #why does it have to be a retelling of the original show that was already good? i dont get it #im trying not to be too harsh here bc im sure theres plenty of one piece fans who feel that way about the live action vahgddjsvuvdjevj

[ghouljams]

In the post where Liebling gets asked to be the godmother, you have a tag that says Konig wouldn't have hurt her but he would have scared her so I'm kind of curious, what would the big guy have done exactly? The guy adores her but I can't help but wonder

I really meant he'll scare her in direct reflection of his actions in the ficlet. That he wouldn't have done anything to hurt her in that moment but he did scare her. That's one of the reasons Love was so watchful of him after that, looking out for her bestie.

I've actually gotten multiple asks about that ficlet. I didn't know it would be so worthy of further interrogation lol. So I'm gonna answer a couple of them under the cut.

Why does König blame Liebling/Why is he mad at Liebling when he didn't want the seed either?

This is a tricky one because it's sort of hard to answer without really hitting König's emotions in that moment and without looking at how he's sort of changed through his relationship with his Darling. The TL;DR is that he was hit very suddenly with the idea that Liebling might not care as much about their relationship as he does. If there are things in their shared home that Love can take, it's because they're not important to them. So he sort of had a really big leap in logic. Ghost had to remind him that he also didn't want the seed and that there was no way of knowing what it would grow into, so they made a smart choice. Weirdly enough I think König trusts Ghost to some extent, so this helped.

Why does Ghost have the Cabbage if he's talking to König, isn't that dangerous?

What's König gonna do? Take her? And risk getting ripped apart by two very aggressive fae/fae-touched parents? And getting in trouble with Liebling? The cabbage is always safe with Ghost don't worry.

If I was Liebling I would ward the fuck out of my house after this.

Yeah she, uh, she does. König scared her and that's a no-go for her. That wasn't fun fear, that was "I'm maybe going to have a decision taken from me" fear. I think Liebling has a lot of well founded but serious anxiety around having children, and it's sort of weird trying to navigate that around König's breeding kink.

I sort of never planned on Liebling and König having kids, in my mind Liebling is (God how do I put this) too immature? I think the idea of having a family scares her in a very "I have more life to live before then" way. This got away from me.

#ghoul speaks #fae au #König scaring his darling when he doesn't mean to is a tradition #weird that I 100% knew Love could be a mom but I don't think Liebling is really ready for that #of the two Liebling is definitely more responsible #Hold on I gotta put this bitch in some therapy #Her sense of self is completely screwed up from bad relationships #she feels a lot younger in her mind than she actually is #oc: Liebling #fae!König

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 307: The One With Shindou

Previously on BnHA: Endeavor and Hawks (and Jeanist too, although he didn’t really do anything, but BY GOD, WHAT IS UP WITH HIS NECK) held a press conference and were all, “everything you’ve heard is true, so we would just like to say, from the bottom of our hearts... our bad.” U.A. opened its doors to the public as an evacuation shelter. Deku and All Might told basically EVERYBODY about OFA, which is absolutely wild, and yet somehow we hardly paid any attention to this at all. Mostly because the chapter ended with Deku being all “I WALK A LONELY ROAD, THE ONLY ONE THAT I HAVE EVER KNOWN” and peacing out of U.A. to embark on a solo journey of angst. So this is either gonna be the best or the worst thing that ever happened to this series, so TIME TO FIND OUT WHICH IT IS.

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi is all “so who do you guys want to see next? Deku? Bakugou?? Well how about SHINDOU?” Shindou is all “hi :) I’m Shindou :) :) remember me :) :) :)?” Horikoshi is all “I’m so sorry for depriving you guys of Shindou for so fucking long, how about an ENTIRE CHAPTER ALL OF HIM” and then he REALLY FUCKING DOES IT because, I don’t know?? Did we make him mad?? Am I being punished for something I did in a past life?? It really is, honest to god, seventeen whole goddamn pages of Shindou, punctuated by a few pages of Muscular, and topped off with one (1) whole appearance by Deku at THE VERY END. And we don’t even get to see his face. I am beside myself lmao I’m sorry you guys, you can skip this recap if you want. Or just skip straight to the end, because movie 3 promo.

“long time no see” now what could this mean?? can’t think of too many characters this phrase would apply to right now. although I can think of one big one, and I know that fandom has been trying to manifest his deadbeat ass to finally show itself for years now. could it finally be that time? if Hisashi shows up and debunks DFO a big chunk of the fandom is probably going to riot lol

(ETA: why oh why did I get my hopes up like that lmao. I’m pretty sure Hisashi doesn’t actually exist and Deku was either immaculately conceived, or the stork really did bring Inko a lil green baby from the cabbage patch.)

anyway, so the chapter is opening on this random scene of CRIME and DISARRAY

was this all done by that big villain from the previous chapter? utility poles knocked down, random holes in the sides of buildings, and it looks like this one car pulled over in a hurry and the driver just hopped out and ran

who are these people talking

OH NO, OH GOD

I am immediately struck by the urge to push Shindou off of this ledge. is that mean? probably that is mean, but also fuck this guy lmao. every year you cheat someone out of their well-deserved spot in the popularity poll, and every year I want to punch you in your stupid face for it

bah. and how are you doing, Tatami. love that hero name even if you do have arguably the dumbest superpower in the entire series

listen, though. here I am shitting on these Ketsubutsu kids for no good reason, and I’m sorry about that, and truthfully it’s mostly because I just want to see Deku and/or Kacchan and so it’s hard to give a fuck about anything else right now. BUT, I will immediately cease and desist ALL of my complaining if this means we also get to see my best girl Ms. Joke, omg. Horikoshi please

sdlkfjlskalk

FUCK YOU SHINDOU OMG. I’M SORRY GUYS I CAN’T HELP IT, EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM IS SO EMINENTLY PUNCHABLE AND DETESTIBLE. IT’S LIKE SOMEONE COMBINED WESLEY CRUSHER WITH JEAN RALPHIO

but LSKJFLEK at this random reminder that Bakugou refused to shake his fucking hand. like, that’s his “fun fact” apparently lol. it’s what he deserves

also living for this “cringe” here, too. fuck you Shindou. I am so, so sorry to any Shindou fans out there you guys because I’m just going to be like this the entire time he’s here. the hate is flowing through me

how has it been three whole pages and I still have to look at his stupid face

anyway so it seems like the kids are having to pick up the slack for Old Man Samurai and all those other assholes who retired. I’m guessing the U.A. kids will be seeing a lot more action as well

but in the meantime let’s hope no villains attack here all of a sudden, because all Tatami can do is make herself shorter while Shindou creates an earthquake to bring the entire building down around them dflkjslk

these guys don’t particularly want to go with them and I can’t say I blame them

so now Shindou is saying that yeah, they can probably handle the looters and such by themselves, but it’s a different story when it comes to the Noumu and the escaped Tartarus prisoners. Shindou how dare you make a reasonable point that I can’t immediately argue with

he says that one of the escapees was sighted in the area, so that’s why they’re trying to evacuate everyone

and the guy disagrees and says he doesn’t trust the heroes and thinks they’re pompous

fdskljk. fucking...

ME: Horikoshi can we please stop and get Deku HORIKOSHI: we have Deku at home THE DEKU AT HOME: 

Horikoshi. please. we get it, the civilians don’t trust the heroes anymore. I UNDERSTAND. I COMPREHEND THIS. so unless there is some other point to this scene I respectfully ask that you hurry things along because omg

did Tatami always have this habit of speaking in meme language and such? I thought that was Camie’s thing but hey

listen, I’m here for anyone who’s willing to drag this man down into the depths of the earth. I would just also rather not spend the entire fucking chapter on this oh my god. Horikoshi do you have any more of those chapters where things happen in them?? those are good, I like those

YESSSSSS FINALLY

so whoever’s on the other end of the call (ETA: it’s that rock-looking guy who can harden anything that he touches. why does BnHA have so many hardening powers) is telling them to run because there’s apparently a villain heading right for them, oh my

WHO IS HE

depending on who it is I can’t promise I won’t be rooting for them over you, buddy

ohhhhhh shit

huh. well that’s... hmm... but on the other hand...

okay lol no, I know it’s bad. Muscular fucking LOVES murdering kids. not even Shindou deserves that. I’m sure he has a family that loves him and stuff. and Tatami seems like a sweet girl. they don’t deserve to be murdered

that is the question isn’t it? are we really going to spend the entire chapter with Limbs-Retracting-Girl and her boyfriend, Joseph Gordon-Levitt from (500) Days of Summer??

YES OMG

YES PLEASE CALL YOUR SENSEI. my god do you know what I would give to see Ms. Joke take down an S-class villain??

(ETA: all I’ll say is that we were robbed here, you guys.)

now Tatami is running away while Shindou stays behind omg

Horikoshi I know I said I hate the guy, and I do, but my god. seems I don’t hate him half as much as you do you. been nice knowing you Shindou my man

are you serious Tatami really ran all the way back up here to try and evacuate these guys one more time

SHE’S SUCH A GOOD PERSON omg if you assholes don’t listen to her you deserve to get murdered

BRO

HORIKOSHI DID YOU REALLY FUCKING DO IT I CAN’T BELIEVE IT

LOL OKAY NO, SO FAR HE’S ONLY MESSED UP HIS FACE

WHAT A SHAME WHAT A TRAGEDY. THE WORLD MOURNS

okay but seriously, now he has to be dead

r.i.p. Shindou. he died doing what he loved, talking a lot and being utterly useless

then again, damn Shindou are you really gonna come out here and be a badass?? gonna make me eat my words there kiddo?

I have absolutely no idea if I should expect this to work or not. all I know is that this is page 14, and so it would seem we really are going to spend the entire fucking chapter on fucking Shindou. this beautiful chapter had so much potential, Horikoshi. and now look at it. I hope you’re happy

nope it didn’t fucking work at all lmao

IT’S JUST LIKE I SAID. r.i.p. you pretentious handsome lump

OHHHHHH SNAP

DEKU YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO LOL. anyway but it’s good to see you!! it’s good to see ANYONE other than these guys sob but especially you

FINALLY SOMETHING COOL OMG

somehow Horikoshi actually made the bunny mask look badass?? I don’t think this is sustainable, but I am here for it while it lasts

Shindou should by all rights be nothing but A HANDSOME PASTE at this point lol but WHATEVER. it’s BnHA; getting smashed into walls and cliffs has more or less the same consequences as being set on fire. slap a band-aid on it and you’re good to go

we are REALLY ENDING IT HERE huh

well. and that’s it. I just did not care about any of that lmao. a rare dud of a chapter. well, but we’ve had something like ten in a row that ranged from “pretty good” to “amazing”, so I guess that’s fair

anyway I feel like I owe you guys something other than endless bitching and moaning, so! BONUS:

now this is more like it

first of all, I’m absolutely living for this promo’s “YEET THE CHILDREN OUT OF A HELICOPTER” vibes. FUCK YEAH WE’RE HEROES BITCH

is Deku wearing a jetpack/parachute?? let’s hope he is because I’m assuming he doesn’t have Float yet, so if that’s not a jetpack then it is a LONG WAY DOWN kiddo

these maniacs actually got Deku to wear something other than his red shoes holy fuck. I’m speechless. are we sure that’s not an imposter??

Shouto has the funniest falling position I’ve ever seen. I’m assuming his left arm is not in fact tucked under his leg like it appeared to be at first glance?? like, wtf is the outline of your body right now Shouto

this is what I think it is after careful analysis, but at first I thought this kid had some hidden contortionist abilities

and then there’s this guy

I MISSED YOU YOU BIG GOON. loving the new gauntlets!! and he’s changed up his impractical metal neck thingy into arm thingies! but most importantly, ARE THESE WHAT I THINK THEY ARE

ARE THOSE WEENIES. KACCHAN. KACCHAN HAVE YOU GONE NATIVE OMFG

and meanwhile, look who’s with them! Endeavor makes perfect sense of course, but Hawks is a very welcome surprise. does this mean we can expect to see Tokoyami too? because I would fucking love that

lastly, so this confirms the whole “world heroes” thing! which we all pretty much guessed anyway lol. I wonder if this movie will take place in another country (fingers crossed). the city in the background doesn’t look particularly familiar, but this image probably wasn’t meant to be analyzed in that way lol. anyways, looking forward to this so much, PLEASE GIVE US A TRAILER SOON omg

#bnha 307 #shindou you #nakagame tatami #muscular #midoriya izuku #bakugou katsuki #todoroki shouto #bnha movie 3 #bnha world heroes' mission #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha #'I never knew shindou was so popular' said horikoshi not understanding memes #'I guess I better give the people what they want' #smdh #this chapter should be called 'horikoshi's revenge'

[mocacheezy]

Things that made watching Transformers (2007) easier and even enjoyable:

[note: B'verse gets the treatment that it gets by fandom for good reasons. There are tons of posts that dissect the bullshit of these movies far better than my second-language-english-non-american self could ever tackle, so I am not doing that, or plan on doing that. But if I decide that I'll get through every continuity of the franchise I will find a way to make it fun for myself. And so, this is my search for golden nuggets in these movies, because they did bring in new fans to the franchise and that's why we have other continuities that we might not have otherwise. Credit where it's due, and some positivity for those that did find B'verse at least amusing if nothing else. ]

🍴🥄🔪🍴🥄🔪🍴🥄🔪🍴🥄🔪🥄🔪🍴🥄🔪

Frenzy

Anytime Frenzy was on screen made me smile because his movements and personality were hilarious, he is just so expressive despite looking like someone super glued a bunch of knifes together. I wouldn't know it was Frenzy if I didn't go to the Wiki, but no matter that, he was funny and that's what matters.

The original Cybertronian robot modes

We don't see them for long, but the glimpses were glorious. Just look at Optimus

Gorgeous. What I wouldn't give to see the details up close. Maybe I'll go looking eventually, but this is just so nice.

We also get a "sexily rises from the pool" scene with Ironhide (probably unintentional and I am biased due to being a robofucker. In any case, very very nice and Cybertronians look so good as aliens)

"Excuse me, are you the Tooth Fairy?"

You see this kid?

This little girl was the only human I cared about in the movie until I saw just how badass Mikaela is, and how cool the military dude is. I don't like kids, but I would lay down my life for this girl.

This one scene just makes me think of what would happen if her parents showed up way earlier. Ironhide would be her guardian and it would be both adorable and hilarious because "Honey, you have to drive in a sentient alien that looks just like our car because the goverment men said so or there will be consequences and potential alien threats."

There are so many joke potentials there; the cultural barrier, the "I am the ine that is supposed to keep her safe" glaring contests, there is just so much shenanigans that could happen.

Also, tea party with the kid. Tea party with the kid.

Sam Witwicky actually reacts like an average human would when faced with the situations he finds himself in

Do I like Sam Witwicky? No, he is the kind of character that I would want to punch irl because of his personality and actions. He is disgusting. But watching him scamper and scream and stutter when faced with giant metal robot aliens that can squish him like a bug? Good, that was a beliavable reaction and I enjoyed it a great deal.

Megatron. Just, ✨Megatron✨

(the best screenshot of the few I could take while watching, no, I am not going back for a better one, he looks perfect like this)

I also laughted at how they kept him frozen like a popsicle. And not even well, like, they COULD'VE made an actual freezer and pop him in instead of using those couple of tubes just so he was displayed for all personell to gawk at. HE CRASHED IN THE ANTARCTIC!

The design looks so good, because it looks ALIEN and POINTY and AGH!!! The colors? There are no colors that would make him stand out, he looks like someone opened a cutlery drawer, mixed up what's inside, threw in some extra knifes for a good measure and then shook the whole thing until this guy materialized from the pile. It is both incredibly annoying and satisfying.

🔪

Mr. Welker did an amazing job with his voice, I don't know what the directions were, but oh man it sure sent shivers down my spine. That is the kind of voice that spells "You are going to die" and I already have my coffin picked out.

EDIT: SO APPARENTLY! IT WAS NOT WELKER THAT VOICED MEGATRON.

It was Hugo Weaving, and yes the man did am amazing job, but I apologize a million times, I was CERTAIN that THE OG VA OF MEGATRON WOULD ALSO HAVE VOICED MEGATRON. LIKE, OKAY BAY, OKAY!

🔪

LOOK AT THE AMOUNT OF ICE! With how quick he came back fully online once Frenzy turned off the freeze liquid tubes, I bet he was half awake through the whole thing. Systems just below idling or something, in any case, AGENTS YOU ARE SO DUMB! WHO WAS GIVING SUBPAR FUNDING TO THEM, THEY BETTER BE FIRED!

I also was glad that Sam refused to call him by the name the sector asigned to him, despite Megatron being in stasis. And that he insisted they use the correct name. Good job Sam, acknowledge the threat by the actual name and show respect to a fellow sentient lifeform. Even though said lifeform is hellbent on destruction of the universe and your world.

ALSO, AND I CANNOT STRESS THE LAUGHTER AND AMUSEMENT HERE; the sheer DISRESPECT! They don't disassemble Megatron's corpse. No, these idiots, these absolute morons decide to dump him into the ocean, letting him sink to the lowest possible point (not sure if they did say it was the M' Trench or not), where there are proper freezing temperatures - good! You're learning, good job!! - just... In full. Full corpse. What's left of him. Just blup! Down with the fishies he goes!

I understand that they probably didn't know how to approach Optimus about it, but... At least behead the guy. He came back ONCE, who is to say he won't come back again?! Safety precautions my dears.

They also completely disregard what a giant extraterrestrial metal alien rusting away on the bottom of the ocean could do to the ecosystem at large. Like, I find this incredibly amusing, because this ISN'T something most folks think about when watching a movie but we have giant squids down there. We have so much weird things down there, the ocean isn't even fully explored AND YOU WANT TO CHUCK AN ALIEN CORPSE DOWN THERE?!

Now the real question: is he a looker? *looks at the pictures* hmmmm, depends on if you like knifes. Like, really like knifes. Like really, really REALLY want to get it on with a fine assembly of kitchen knifes that were exposed to the elements but somehow haven't rusted away completely.

I think he's neat.

Needs a good long powerwash though. Preferrably with something to help the whole "I was frozen for more than 50 years and sprang back to action as soon as I woke up" thing that happened.

My man needs to take a moment and get his bearings, like dude. Please. You can conquer the world after some energon and slow system boot-up period. The strain on the systems my dude, you ain't young.

Also love that this "death" was probably reused in TFP because lord golly, do we love our faves ending up under the sea. (Though Megan took a much bigger fall, Bayverse WAS PLOPPED INTO THE WATER LIKE A NEWLY ACQUIRED FISH I CAN'T YOU GUYS I CAN'T!)

In short: I love the comedy of american military giving such disrespect to an Alien Warlord. These guys are really sealing their fate.

I loved the way they got the Witwicky family to be important to the plot

The whole "selling my great great grandpa's glasses on e-bay" thing gives us a very good self insert/OC/rewrite/movie AU potential. Don't like Sam and his disgustingness? Find a way to write a cousin or some far off relative or hell, even just someone who buys the glasses off e-bay and go wild with it!

Archibald was also clearly an inspiration for Isaac Sumdac as far as I can tell, what with both of them using Megatron as a means of helping technology advance.

Only difference being one of them lived and actually talked to Megatron after he came back online and the other got driven to madness and death due to the amount of information beamed into his brain. Isaac also acquired a space baby daughter, so the guy is absolutely luckier of the two.

Mikaela being fucking competent and badass throughout the movie, and not being just fanservice eyecandy

I could do without the fanservice, but her personality? I loved it. I loved that she wasn't crawling to Sam and wasn't being "hard to get". Which is also why I was very displeased at the very sudden "oh yeah, romance! She returns his feelings after he took her for a ride and let her vent her frustrations!". The movie is 2 hours long and they could throw in some moments where these two connect?

Welp, it is an action movie, boy gets girl no matter what, can't complain about the staple in the genre.

However, Mikaela x Optimus? Now THAT is something I considered as soon as the two locked eyes and interacted. Like, even taking my shipping goggles off, these two could have a very interesting dynamic and Mikaela could be a very good protagonist. I wonder what the movie would be like with her as the lead and Sam being the fucking moron she has to drag along with her.

BUT ALSO! Can we talk about the horrible, excruciating fact that her and Bumblebee drove around with Bee's damaged legs dragging over asphalt all the time he was shooting at 'Cons? There were sparks flying! SHE WAS DRIVING BACKWARDS! She took command of the situation and did what she could because Bee still wanted TO FIGHT!

Also, they way she beat up Frenzy? Gorgeous, I want to slap Sam's non-existent balls off for not atleast saying "thanks". The dude would be sliced thinner than cabbage if she wasn't there.

The millitary man we are supposed to care about because his wife gave birth while he was on duty and we see his baby three times in the whole movie, actually being a pretty awesome and well-written character

Look, personally, I was a little confused at the reason why we were seeing his wife and baby interacting/the scene where she thinks her husband is dead. Mostly because I don't like kids, so scenes like that, when I don't even know who the character is, have no impact at all. Him having a baby isn't going to make me like the guy more, unless I know his character. Him being absent because he's on duty doesn't mean he'll be a good dad (though he looks like the kind of man that will try his best, and I like that in a man). So seeing his wife and kid at the start of the movie seemed pointless to me.

BUT! FOCUSING ON THE POSITIVES HERE!

Lennox is a good character and whenever he was on screen I was invested in what is going to happen to him. He's the kind of action movie lead that would have me invested, despite my meh interest in mainly gun fight oriented action movies.

Essentially, loved the guy, would love to see more of him while also being able to tell what's happening on screen. Also the comedy scenes he was in were usually funny.

~

Okay so these are the things I like about the first movie! It was very long, had to watch it on 2,5x speed because it simultainously dragged while ALSO giving me too much information, but the moments like these and the way my imagination latched onto characters I liked made it watchable. It isn't a movie I'd use to introduce someone to the TF franchise, but it provided me with lots of material for my imagination to run wild.

#moca watches #transformers #transformers bayverse #moca screeches #Yes the cutlery divider is due to the Decepticons looking like they do. It amuses me greatly.

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers GRAND EDITION for Switch ;; More, Blood ー Yuma Ecstasy [Prologue]

Monologue

By the time I was finally released from the punishment room,

I had made two more comrades,

aside from Kou.

One smart and dependable guy,

and another fellow who’s kinda creepy and always covered in scars,

but somehow I can’t bring myself to ignore him.

It felt somewhat different from my relationship with Boss and the others,

but strangely enough,

I genuinely thought of these dudes as my companions.

I’m sure it’s because we all had the same goal.

The four of us gathered together,

and came up with a plan to escape this Hell.

And one evening, 

we finally made up our minds.

Bear: When are we putting this plan into action?

Ruki: Tomorrow evening. We won’t take any luggage with us. Leave everything behind. Understood?

Kou: Yeah!

Bear: Roger.

Azusa: If you guys…say so…

Bear: ( I don’t know if my luck is good or bad, but I survived till now. )

( Boss, I’ve made up my mind. I’ll take your dream upon me instead. )

( I’ll change this country, so please wait just a little longer. )

( ...To fulfill said dream, I’ll definitely escape this place. )

( Don’t worry. Right now, I have comrades who are just about as reliable as you guys were. )

( I’m sure...It’ll go well. )

*TIMESKIP*

Bear:  ( ...In just a few more hours, the night will fall. )

( We can’t get our timing wrong. We won’t get a second chance if our plan is exposed. ...We only get one shot. )

( Right, I should prepare to set the fiーー )

Youngster: ...! Oi, you!

Bear: ( ...Che, did he find out!? )

Youngster: I knew it! Thank god, you survived!

Bear: ...? Who are you?

Orphan A: It’s me, Leo! I lived in the village next to yours! We often went fishing in the past, remember?

Bear: Leo...?

Orphan A: Well, we were still children, so I guess I can’t blame you for not remembering. We’ve both changed as well. I didn’t recognize you at first glance either.

But I was worried about you this whole time. After what happened to your village...Your home was burnt to the ground as well.

Bear: Burnt...?

( What’s this? It rings a bell... )

( ...Right! That dream! When Boss had only just picked me up, I would often have dreams about fires! )

( Don’t tell me, this is a guy I knew in the past I can’t recall...!? )

Say, Leo! There’s something I want to asーー!

*THUD*

Orphan A: Guah...!?

*Thud*

Bear: ...!? Oi!

Orphan A: ...Uu...

Bear: Fuck...What do you think you’re doing, bastard!?

Gang Boss: Excuse me? ...Isn’t that my line? Right, Bear?

Bear: ...Che, look who’s back. You’ve made your return earlier than I expected.

Gang Boss: Thanks to you, yeah. (1)

Bear: What do you want now? Have you come to get beaten to pulp?

Gang Boss: Yeah, exactly. Howeverーー

You are the one who’ll end up beaten and bruised!

Bear: ...You’ve gathered some comrades because you know you can’t win by yourself? Whether you bring nobody or a whole gang, the end result won’t change.

Gang Boss: ...Per usual, you know how to run your mouth.

Anyway, your prolonged life ends right here. It’s been quite a while since your Boss died, but time has finally come.

Bear: You piece of shit...Why today out of all days!? You’ve got shit timing.

Gang Boss: Enough talking! Your beloved Boss is waiting for you in the afterlife!

Bear: Che...!

Kou: ーー Bear!!

Bear: Kou!?

Ruki: We were wondering what was taking you so long, but what are you doing!?

Bear: Don’t blame me! They’re the ones who started this!

Kou: I’m pretty sure you take some blame too though.

Ruki: That doesn’t matter! Hurry up and finish your quarrel! If we let this chance slip by, we’re done for!

Bear: Oh, I’m well...aware!

*THUD*

Ruki: In that case, we’ll use this commotion to our advantage. Kou, you light the fire instead!

Kou: Roger!

Ruki: I’ll lure in the guards from one side. You guys make as much of a fuss as you can! However, make sure they don’t get the upper hand on you!

When I give you the signal, we’ll dash through the gate at once! Understood!?

Bear: Piece of cake!

Azusa: Can I be the one getting punched...?

Bear: That’s no option! We’re gonna be the ones doing the punching! ーー Let’s go!!

Monologue

ーー In the end, the plan we spent days setting up,

did not go as planned.

However, luck was on our side,

and we succeeded,

at making our escape from that Hellhole.

ーー Spread out in front of my eyes once outside,

was an almost transluscent blue sky.

Seems like it is sunny out today.

It has been a while since I gazed up at the sky.

Perhaps that is why, the usual blue sky and white clouds,

seemed extremely beautiful for some reason.

I couldn’t help but think,

that the world is beautiful.

We may have escaped prison,

but the world we would have to live in now,

is most definitely rotten.

I will change this country, change the world. 

For that reason, I desperately kept on running.

Regardless, the clear blue skies,

were so beautiful, every time I raised my head,

I somehow grew emotional.

ー The flashback ends as the scene shifts to the living room

Ruki: How have things been going as of late?

Yuma: ...No change, really.

Ruki: You’ve been sucking her blood, no? Have you not been experiencing any signs? Of Adam?

Yuma: ...Don’t think so? Not sure tho.

Ruki: ...Yuma.

Yuma: Shut up, I know! Stop remindin’ me over and over, it’s annoyin’!

Ruki: ...Are you rushing?

Yuma: ...

Ruki: Rushing will not make you Adam. That is up to Eve’s blood to decide.

Yuma: ...I know that shit.

Ruki: Then don’t rush. Even if you are in a hurry, it will not benefit the situation.

However...I am sure you are aware that things cannot remain like this forever?

Our objective is not to become Adam. It is to return our favor to that man by doing so.

If you continue to not show any signs of awakening, then we’llーー

Yuma: Don’t say that!!

Ruki: ...Judging by your reaction, seems like you have realized as well. Yuma. ...That we are unable of becoming Adam.

*TIMESKIP*

Ruki: ...Either way, I’m glad you seem to understand at least. Either way, I am not asking you to act upon this right away.

However, as soon as we receive an order from that man, I will take action as well. Do not forget that.

ー Ruki steps away

Yuma: ...Givin’ her to those Sakamaki’s? Don’t be kiddin’ me.

...I will become Adam.

No way I’ll let those damn rich people steal Boss’ dream as well...!

ー The scene shifts to the kitchen

*Chop chop chop*

Yui: ( ...There we go. Now I just have to put all the ingredients inside and let it simmer. )

( Ah, right. I’ll add the cabbage we got from Yuma-kun’s garden the other daーー )

*Rustle*

ー The screen suddenly fades to black

Yui: Eh!? 

( W-What!? Things suddenly went dark...Hold on, somebody is covering my eyes!? )

Yuma: Keep still.

Yui: That voice, Yuma-kuーーNn!

( He covered my mouth as well...! )

ー Yuma bites her

Yuma: Hah...Nn...

Yui: Ah, ow...!

( W-Why did he suddenly bite me...!? )

Yuma: Nn...Nn...!

Haah...This side’s up next...Don’t ya dare tense up.

Yui: ( N-No...What is he doing!? I can’t tell since I can’t see a thing!. ...I’m scared...! )

Nn, nnnn...!

Yuma: ...Che, you’re so noisy. But it’s no use. Stay like that.

A humans’ remainin’ senses grow more sensitive when one is lost, right?

So by taking yer vision like this, I’ll make ya focus on only my fangs.

I’d love to take yer hearing too but...Nn...

Yui: ...! Nn...!

Yuma: I’m pretty sure it’ll be more effective...If I let ya listen to the sound of me devourin’ ya, mixed in with yer own sounds.

*Rustle*

Yui: ...Hah...Hah...!

Yuma: There ya go. I’ll release yer mouth. ...Cry out all ya want.

Come on, concentrate. Focus on only yer ears and body.

My fangs are the only thing you’re allowed to feel.

If ya feel it with yer whole body, ya should figure out that I’m Adam already. Right...!? 

*Thud*

Yui: ...Ah...!

Yuma: ...Hurry up...Hurry up and realize, Eve...!

Hurry up and make me Adam...!

Monologue

ーー Ever since that day, 

Yuma-kun became more aggressive than ever.

His irritation continued visibly growing,

and all of said frustration was pointed directly,

at my skin.

The bite marks which increased with each passing day,

made me experience his impatience first hand.

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

Translation notes

(1) おかげさま or ‘okage sama’ is usually used to thank someone for their help, but in this context, it is obviously meant in a sarcastic way.

→  LIKE MY TRANSLATIONS? SUPPORT ME ON KO-FI!

<- [ Maniac Epilogue ] [ Ecstasy 01 ] ->

#diabolik lovers #dialovers #yuma mukami #more blood #diabolik lovers translation #mbyumaecstasyprolog

[buckysbitch107]

I don’t know if requests are open, but if they are can I request a Steve Rogers x Reader where at the end of end game he goes back to his lover from the 40s but instead of Peggy it’s the reader(include any backstory that you want)? Like even his compass contains the picture of the reader and not Peggy. I love your wring so far btw, keep up the good work!!!

Home Isn’t Just A Place | Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary: When Colonel Phillips himself delivered the letter stating the love of your life (and best friend since 5 years old) was dead, you were more than devastated. You were still mourning the loss of your fiancé, mindlessly fiddling with the ring on your finger, when a much harsher knock rang at your door. You expected it to be perhaps your sister or a delivery boy. What you certainly didn’t expect was for your fiancé, who you were told was dead, to be standing at your doorstep.

Warnings: Swearing, Angst, Crying

Word Count: 2.38K

A/N: Hope this meets your standards! I tried my best with this one and i hope you enjoy it! Just a reminder that I will always be accepting requests! I will be writing a Part 2 to this, so stay tuned!

“It’s fine guys! I can cook something in the apartment!” You speak, the men on either side of you giving you a small glare.

“It’s our last night, (Y/N/N). We wanna make it special before you’re alone in the apartment.” Steve mentions, wrapping his arm around your waist. You’re still taller than him, but it’s the thought that counts, right?

“That restaurant isn’t that good anyway.” You whisper, trying so hard to hide the disappointment in your voice. You’d been looking forward to sitting in that restaurant since it opened, and when Bucky and Steve said they were taking you, that meant you could finally get a chance. That is, until you got there, and they didn’t have your reservation.

“Doll-” Bucky starts, soon being cut off by your voice.

“Guys. It’s fine, really.”

“No, it’s not (Y/N)! We wanted to treat you to something special, and now it looks like we’re having cabbage fuckin’ stew for dinner… again.”

“Or,” You pause, lifting your arm to point at the sign hanging off of the corner store at the end of the street. “We could get some food from Stan’s. It’s still open and we have enough money for some hot dogs.” The two men agree shortly after and the three of you quicken your pace, eager to get some food in your stomach. The small bell above the door rings through the air as the three of you walk in, the owner walking out from the back.

“Steve, Bucky, (Y/N)! Nice to see ya! What can I get for you?” Stan asks, his smile always bringing comfort to you three.

“Three hot dogs and three cokes please!” You respond, offering him a small smile yourself. He nods and taps some button on the register, pulling the crank before turning his head back up to you.

“Thirty cents please.” You start digging in your wallet when a hand stops you, and your head snaps to meet Steve’s eyes before he starts digging in his own wallet. He hands the man 30 cents before discreetly grabbing your hand, a small chuckle leaving your lips. Stan walks to the back and returns with three hot dogs in hand. He sets them down on the counter before reaching in the fridge and pulling out the drinks. You take them and thank him before walking out the door, Steve and Bucky following you out with their own.

“Let’s go to the docks! Watch the lights in the city!” You propose, turning back to face the two men. They agree and you all walk down to the docks, finishing your food and drinks shortly after getting there.

“Sorry, it had to end like this, (Y/N/N).”

“Meh, I liked this ending better. At least this way I can say fuck.” You giggle, turning back to look at your boyfriend. A soft melody fills your ears and you search for the source of the music. You soon find it as a band plays at an oceanside restaurant, where people are probably dining on the finest steaks and champagne, but you’re happy right where you are. Steve’s hand grabs yours and he smiles, both of his hands wrapping around your waist.

“Dance with me, doll.” You nod before placing your hands around his shoulders, the two of you slightly swaying to the music. Bucky lets out a short laugh before leaning against a lamppost. Steve grabs your hand and spins you around, the blue dress flying up around your waist as he twirls you in his arms. Your eyes drift closed as he continues to spin you, a laugh bubbling out of your mouth, and you finish turning and open your eyes to see Steve on one knee.

“Oh.” Your hands fly up to cover your mouth and you see Bucky smiling out of the corner of your eye as Steve pulls out a ring.

“I know, I know it isn’t much, but it’s what we could afford.”

“Wha-Whe-How?” You whisper.

“Well, we saved up for a bit.”

“I think you’re supposed to give a speech now, Stevie.” Bucky comments. 

“I’m getting there!” Steve responds, making you let out a hoarse laugh before you start choking on your sobs. “Doll, you are the best thing to ever happen to me, Buck being a close second. You’ve always been there for me when I’m sick, which is a lot. I wanna be with you forever. I want to have kids with you, I want to give you the best white-picket-fence life I can. I swear to love you for the rest of our lives, if you’ll be mine. What do ya say doll?” By this time, your hands have migrated from your mouth to your chest, and you wipe your eyes while nodding your head, choking out a short “yes” before Steve slides the ring on your finger. As he stands up, you begin to cry harder as you pull him into a bear hug. He pulls away and you place both hands on his shoulders, looking at him sternly.

“You better come back to me, you hear me?”

“I promise I will, doll.”

“No, I need better than a promise.”

“I swear on my life, dollface. Besides, I wouldn’t leave my best girl behind.”

~~~

You’ve seen all the adverts and movies about the one and only Captain America. People see him as a hero, as the man who punches Nazis straight in the face and kisses babies, but you still see him as the little guy from Brooklyn who couldn’t run the mile from fourth grade on. Yes, you missed your fiance very much, but you had faith that he would keep his promise and come home after the war. A few months after Bucky and Steve left, you picked up a waitressing job in a mom-and-pop diner on the weekends and weeknights alongside your job as a science teacher. Bills aren’t going to pay themselves, and Bucky and Steve aren’t here to help you. You walk in the door, returning home from your morning shift at the diner, planning on quickly changing clothes before running out and volunteering at the animal shelter, something you always did on Saturdays. You throw on a simple dress, the pale yellow glowing in the sunlight streaming in from the window. Your plans suddenly change when a knock rings at your door.

“One second!” You yell, finishing pulling up the zipper on the back of your dress before walking over to the door, opening it to see Colonel Phillips himself. “Colonel Phillips.”

“Miss (Y/L/N). May I come in?” He asks, the solemn look on his face causing an uneasy feeling in your stomach.

“Of course, sir.” You open the door a little bit wider and he enters the apartment.

“You may want to sit.” You follow his instructions and sit yourself down at the kitchen table, now noticing the letter in his hands. “I wrote it all out on paper, but I also figured I should tell you in person.” He pauses, taking a deep breath. “Captain Rogers crashed a plane into the ice to save the lives of millions of people yesterday morning. I would have gotten here earlier but there were some complications with the plane.”

“No.” You mumble, standing up to directly face the colonel.

“He has been declared Killed in Action, along with James Barnes.” Your head snaps up at his comment, tears already pooling in your eyes.

“What-what do you mean they’ve both been killed in action? What-” A sob rising in the back of your throat cuts you off and you have to steady yourself against the table. Phillips places the letter on the table as you try to quiet your sobs. He quietly nods his head before turning to the door, about to step out when you choke out a short “wait”. Colonel Phillips turns around as you compose yourself, wiping the tears off your face.

“Yes ma’am?”

“Am I allowed to give you a hug?”

“Yes ma’am.” You wrap your arms around him and place your head on his shoulder, the colonel hugging you back shortly after. The two of you pull away and you whisper a small “thank you sir” before he nods and walks out the door. You turn around and grab the letter, ripping it open before focusing on the words carefully typed on the page:

Miss (Y/N) (Y/L/N)

437 West Clermont Street

Brooklyn, New York, USA

11201

I regret to inform you that both Captain Steven Rogers and Sergeant James Barnes have been killed in action in service of their country. As you know, Captain Rogers freed over 200 men across enemy lines in Azzano, Italy. He then formed a squadron, the Howling Commandos. That squadron took down more enemy bases than any other in history. It is with deepest condolences that we regret to inform you than on Saturday, February 19th, Sergeant James Barnes fell out of a moving train while defending Captain Rogers. On Friday, February 25th, Captain Rogers crashed a plane into the Arctic in order to save over three million lives from nuclear bombings. Not only has America lost a soldier, America has also lost a hero.

Deepest regards,

Colonel Chester Phillips

A loud sob erupts from your mouth as you throw the letter on the table, your hands quickly covering your mouth.

“No. Nonononono, they can’t be dead. I can’t- I can’t do this alone.” You back up against the wall, slowly sliding down as your fingers thread through your hair. It’s only when you look back at the ring on your finger that your tears of pain turn to those of anger. “YOU PROMISED!” You scream, not giving a damn if the neighbors can hear you. Your head falls into your hands as you curl up into a ball, your sobs echoing through the now eerily empty house.

“You promised.

~~~

It was a nice funeral. A lot of people you knew were there. Dum-Dum, Gabe, Jim, and Monty came, while Jaques sent his condolences. It was small, but Steve would have liked it. Yeah, you sobbed, but so did everyone else. You sit numbly in your house, the walls no longer filled with laughter, the floors no longer covered in flour and paint, now only scuff marks from your pacing panic attacks. You’re mindlessly fiddling with your ring when a knock sounds at your door, this one sounding louder and overall harsher than the other ones you’d been experiencing for the past week. You stand up and walk over, not caring to check the peephole before opening it. And standing there, is the man you were told crashed a plane into the arctic.

“Wha-”

“Hi, doll.” You slowly start shaking your head before walking away from the door, simply leaving it open.

“No, no. Nonono. You crashed a plane into the arctic. Your signal went dead. You were presumed dead! I’m going mad, I’ve gone absolutely bonkers and now I’m imagining the love of my life is in my living room when he’s buried somewhere in the Arctic!” You rant to yourself, tears slowly gathering in your eyes. You stop when Steve puts both hands on your shoulders, stabilizing you and forcing you to make eye contact with him.

“God, is this what happened after I crashed?” He mumbles, looking up and down at your frantic form. Your clothes have become a little looser, your hair a little thinner, the bags under your eyes just a bit more noticeable. But that’s not the only thing that’s changed. You look at Steve and notice he looks… different. He looks older and more exhausted.

“You aren’t my Steve?”

“Sit down doll, I have a lot of explaining to do.”

~~~

“So you’re from-”

“Yeah.”

“But you still-”

“Mhm.”

“And I’m still-”

“Yep.”

“But wouldn’t this-”

“Nope.”

“Huh. And this Thanos dude he-”

“Eliminated 50% of all living beings. Yes.”

“And you’re back here because you’re delivering the stones back to their original places in time and wanted to see me?”

“Yeah pretty much.”

“Huh. Okay.”

“So, can I have this dance?” He stands up and reaches his hand out to you. You smile and take it, the man pulling you into him. You notice as the two of you start swaying that he’s suddenly more relaxed, and that he’s definitely gotten more muscular over the years. You dance for a little while longer before he tilts your chin up, meeting your lips for a gentle kiss. “God I missed you doll.”

“I missed you too.” The two of you stay silent a little longer before he pulls back slightly, a serious look on his face. Uh oh.

“Come back with me.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“Come back with me. To 2023.”

“Stevie, I can’t. I have so many responsibilities, and it could mess up the timeline and-”

“Nope. Already checked with the Ancient One. Said it should be fine as long as no one knows about it.”

“Oh.”

“Plus, you can meet my friends, and we can finally get married, and Bucky will-”

“Wait what? Bucky’s alive?”

“Oh yeah, he was captured by HYDRA but we got him back.”

“You’re gonna need to catch me up on everything.”

“So that’s a yes?”

“Fine. I’ll come with you, but if I throw up it’s your fault.”

“Deal.”

~~~

“I’m trying to bring him back!” Banner yells, flicking switches and pressing buttons on the dash. Bucky bites at his cuticles, something he does when he’s nervous, also something you used to yell at him for. The launchpad starts whirring again and both Bucky and Sam’s heads shoot up at the noise, not familiar with it at all.

“Um, is that supposed to happen?” Sam asks.

“Only when there’s more than one body being transported.” Banner mumbles, pressing a few more buttons. “Okay. Bringing him back in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.”

“AH-oomph.” Bucky’s eyes widen as his brain registers the yellow dress, the sparkling eyes, the dazzling smile.

“(Y/N)?!” He yells, giving both you and Steve a confused look. You sit up on the launchpad and look around, not familiar with any of your surroundings.

“Hiya Buck! Oooh, love the hair! Nice to see it change from the ol’ buzzcut.”

Permanent Tags: @wintersoldierslut​ @breakmy-bedbarnes@stuckys-hot-dogs​ @andreasworlsboring101 @yaxamarvel @donutloverxo

Just a reminder that all requests are open! My masterlist is in my bio, so you guys know who I specialize in, but really I do anyone y’all request. As I’ve mentioned, nothing is too fluffy, angsty, smutty, or gorey for me. I mainly write Marvel and its characters/actors. I can also write some characters from other things, you just have to ask! Also please let me know if you want to be a part of the Permanent Tags! But please, for now,

Call me Emily

#steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers one shot #captain america x reader #captain america imagine #captain america one shot #captain america #steven rogers #captain america fic #angst #fluff #marvel #marvel x reader #comics #marvel captain america

[jf3co]

I honestly forget what year it was - we would play around in tunnels, drainage tunnels, that were being laid down as part of new housing developments where once stood farms somewhere outside the city.  It was gen-two "white flight" for the older cities, typically behind the original trend, and we got to graduate from the city to the suburbs; we were used to the city. The suburbs were foreign to us. 

We saw the movie Aliens. We had plastic guns. And duct tape. And candles. And we'd tape the guns together to create modified weaponry. We taped candles to the walls of the tunnels. The rest you can figure out for yourself - crawling through tunnels underneath construction sites. But, it stands to mention, these were 'clean' tunnels - they were brand new; just manufactured and nothing to worry about. No chance for the old to creep in. No chance for history and the unknown. We know where they came from and why they were there. Just a group of young children entertaining themselves; being boys. 

Speaking of generations - we lived in the 1st generation suburbs, the Levittown subdivisions. These were slightly older and established. They had, at least, some history; however unflattering. 

The farms and woods were a different story. They had wonderful history. Like the kind of history that dated back to the beginning of America. And no small shit either - literally The Beginning of the United States of America started right here. So occasionally we'd come across some old shit in our exploring. 

We were trolling through the woods with our BB guns when I shot a squirrel… I had no idea my aim would be that good… it was very far away - on a tree.  But I shot him, gut shot.  And when I found the thing it was on its' back and doing a half sit-up wheezing at me like "why did you shoot me, asshole?" with each little gut-shot squirrel breath it took: "why did you shoot me, asshole?"  I had to make a big to-do about 'putting it out of its' misery'. I never shot anything after that again ever - intentionally, that is, as I know someone who would disagree that has the scars to prove it. But I do fuck up some fish fishing; weird right? My evolutionary empathy only goes back so far. 

It was during one of these woodsy explorations that we came across what we affectionately refer to now as "The Tunnel"… thee… as in 'the tunnel to end all tunnels’. Somewhere deep in the woods where little light permeated we stumbled across it while ankle deep in mushy skunk cabbage. Sunlight filtered through only slightly like some accusatory fingers of angels to remind an insect why they became an insect. Cool despite the obvious haze of humidity. And deathly silent. The tunnel gurgled a parched trickle of water down a single green mossy strip; hardly the deluge this tunnel was designed for. This tunnel could comfortably carry a child on a water slide ride. Apparently for drainage. It's design of brick. Cement worn away from age and capricious deep-woods construction. 

Billy was the first to approach. He crouched down low to the mouth of the tunnel: "Hello!" - "HelllllooOOOooo" - "Hey guys, check out this echo!" Billy turned towards us excitedly then back again: "ECHO, Echo, echo…" - "Doo Bee Doo Bee Doo" 

Then BAM! It hit him. It being this giant green, scaly flash of teeth, bug eyes and prehensile arms. It reared out from the entrance.  And the thing drags Billy straight into the tunnel! We never saw Billy again. But that was okay to us - Billy was a dick. 

There has never been a time that I have run for so long and so hard in my entire life. And I guarantee you there never will be again. It will kill me next time. I'm old. My heart will explode. 

As for Billy, well that was a whole another story. It was foreign for us to conceive that someone would grieve for him, being such the dickwad he was. And we even laughed at the thought of his parent's sitting at home blubbering about him missing and presumed dead. But, sure enough, everyone did care. We made the news. Big time. Cops. Investigations. Lie detectors. Spiritual mediums. Psychics. And the shells of Billy's parents that seemed to subsist only on PBR and Kools anymore. It all eventually passed after a few months. We surely didn't want to go to the tunnel again. Dogs could not find it. Nor trackers. To everyone Billy was dead; probably raped to death by a hobo then pickled in his own juices in a 55-gallon drum behind a rail shed. End of story.

  But that wasn't the interesting thing - the whole random comically weird green monster in an old abandoned drain pipe followed by the media sensation surrounding the senseless loss of a young boy and one town's failure to yet again prevent much less remedy or find closure to such an event - no, the interesting thing is that we spent some time afterwards building a robot; yes.

  Our robot was not one that worked on logic, per se, but that operated on an advanced oscillating wave core feedback loop. The core establishes a waveform, a pattern, feedback from the sensory inputs - any change to the input establishes a new pattern which in turn produces a different output. No memory. No hard drive. All it was, a little burning flame going around a bumpy track. And our robot had many tracks; we covered the delta, theta, alpha, beta and gamma frequencies - innumerable waveforms to accommodate what we thought would be all feedback from the sensors - with one mission: find Billy. And that flame went near light speed. One would guess we did feel a little bad after all - albeit our sense-of-urgency and approach being a bit underdeveloped - but I promise you that guess would be wrong. 

We gave our robot a few "search and rescue" trial runs where one of us would hide in a confined environment and we'd send the robot in after us… our special robot designed with one heart-filled mission in mind found us every time. Then day came to send the robot into the tunnel… albeit way too late - to be honest our childhood fascination was more with seeing a mangled, mutilated, decayed body than to actually rescue that rotten dickhead, Billy.

  We slowly made our way through the woods to the place of the cool, misty ferns. We silently hoped that with the right intent and desired lack of scrutiny and oversight, we’d happen upon the tunnel once more. And it did. So, somewhere slightly outside our guesstimated reach of the scaly, green monster (should it return… but hey, what was the lifespan on these things anyway? I mean, living outside is a tough life) we began to unpack the robot’s components from a duffel bag. We assembled each module in silence, finishing by firing up each oscillating core until they achieved status quo for the environment surrounding. Then we pointed our robot at the mouth of the tunnel and turned it loose. The robot almost seemed to hesitate, as if it was in possession of that human frailty of self-preservation - but it was only a momentary difficulty finding purchase on slimy, old bricks. It disappeared into the darkness. 

After an eternity, we heard the slow, labored scraping of robot getting closer as it echoed through the tunnel towards the entrance.  The robot emerged no worse for wear and deliberately uprighted itself. No corpse.  No nothing.  But it was changed. A dumb robot now spouting some milky, new-aged bullshit: "How are you today?  I am a rocking robot.  Do you understand?"  Then it shut down until prodded again, at which point it would respond in the same measured, metallic pentameter: "How would you like to… plumb my deep limitlessness… holding my soul's hand?"  Another prod: "Robots typically… perform their programmed functions... I just want a hug." 

We looked at each other quizzically. A switch must’ve got flipped somewhere. This time I poked it with a log: "There's not much to do... when you are a robot who... only speaks haiku!" 

A switch indeed flipped. We let out guttural cries of rage. "Haikus have to be about nature, motherfucker!" I shouted as I raised a log over my head and threw it like one would a battle-ax. The log cartwheeled in a slow-motion action-packed 3D arc and scored a big hit square between the robots ocular sensor array. Sparks. A few sizzled snaps. A tinny despairing emission redolent with betrayal as it fell to its’ robot knees. 

Then we destroyed the damn thing. With extreme prejudice, mind you. So much so that one would question with our pronounced level of intensity and extreme duration, did we actually program it to feel pain? Otherwise it was just for our own wasted edification. 

Anyway, years later I met a girl named Chelsea during a game of Whiz Boing while new at college. And I wanted so much to fingerbang her. I don't know why I just told you that. Maybe I am too high. Maybe I just wanted to use “fingerbang” in a sentence. I think it's because I am thinking about Billy again. I've lived. I've lied. I've hurt people. Intentionally and unintentionally. And I've done so under the presumption that they should never ever find out. And on nights like these, when I am feeling introspective - I wonder about the choices denied Billy. Maybe we never thought he was a dick. Its just that we never asked to be thrust into that situation. Beyond our experience. To have him eaten by a monster. 

It's times like these I want to return to the scene of the robot destruction and conjure each molecule of our destroyed robot, lift them to the air and repair and restore every part and connection, molecule by molecule. If only to have it function. For one moment. Then I could ask why? Why do I carry the universe in my atoms? Why do I carry the ocean in my blood? Why is there an evolutionary necessity to stop functioning because there is no sun to produce photosynthesis at night still in my brain even though we don't run on chlorophyll? 

Time for bed now. Time to drift away. But I can’t. I wake up and think back to a girl named Chelsea, my last love. And a girl named Danielle, my first love. Chelsea I wanted to fingerbang in the beer soaked basement of some frat house. Danielle I meet on the beach as a child, when I was a little blonde toe head with a sprained ankle that hobbled around. We dug tunnels under the sand. And when our hands met, we held them there, under the sand. It was cold, wet, primordial, like the original spark of life. Closer to fingerbanging then fingerbanging itself.

#The Drain Pipe #writing #stuff #short stories #author #metafiction

[toadventureindefinitely]

Flying Paradise

For the later half of my journey I’ve been writing my blog posts towards the end of my workaway stays or shortly after they have finished, but now that I have just less than three weeks left I am realizing this time is coming to a close and my priority for blogging is at the same level it was when I first started my trip in June 2016. I don’t want to get too into this right now because it makes me emotional and I have a lot of thinking to do on my own in the next few weeks.

This is the beginning of my 3 week experience in Greece, which after two days I already know my time here won’t be nearly enough. It’s as beautiful as I imagined, even more. Though I’m not staying in the typical places you see when you google Greece and click on the images tab. And I like that because I get to see the other, not as touristic, parts that are just as unique and eye-catching as the rest.

I arrived two days ago at the Athens airport which I was impressed by except for the inability to connect to the wifi, a regular occurrence in all three airports that day. Once again I’m always grateful for having English as my native language and that all of the signs have both English and Greek. I was able to find my way to the train station, buy my ticket, and catch the correct train that I told my host I expected to take and would arrive around 5pm in Korinthos where he'd pick me up. I was also impressed by the train and the ride along the very scenic coast. When I arrived at the train stop it wasn’t at all hard to find my host Vassilios and is big white van that said “Flying Paradise” on the side, the name of his paragliding tour company. He has shoulder-length gray hair, sideburns, wears a knitted colorful beanie and sports sunglasses. On the one hour car ride back to his house just outside of Palea (old) Epidavros we began to get to know each other, strangers just meeting for the first time about to live under the same roof for an unknown period of time.

Yesterday, my first full day here, began with waking up late after a long day’s journey and eating fresh oranges for breakfast from the neighbor as I soaked up the sun I have been longing for since my cloudy, cold winter days in Zagreb. We then took a trip to Nafplio, a small city situated on a bay of Peloponnese. I was pretty blown away by the views and felt so happy to be back in a warmer, tropical place with palm trees and sun. It makes me even more excited about moving to Houston this summer.

Greece seems the most similar to Spain, but of course they have different feels. I do however like the style of Greece better, I’ve always been a fan of blue and white anything, especially architecture. I don’t want to jump the gun and say Greece will be my favorite country, but I think it’s a contender. Check back March 8 to find out. Either way, I already know that the best olive oil I’ve ever had in my life is from the local area here, so Greece has definitely won in that department. And tonight we went out to dinner at one of Vassilios’ friend’s restaurants where the food was also comparable to Italy, so it might also take the cake on that one. A squash, vegetable, barley soup with a lightly dressed cabbage and lettuce salad with a hint of parsley, and fresh feta cheese made from goat and sheep milks topped with olive oil and oregano. Yeah...

Anyway, what also prompted me to begin writing this post right now was the experience I’ve had so far with Vassilios. I knew he would be an interesting character, but beyond his professional mountaineering skills and passion for being a human bird, he is an incredibly smart guy and I’ve had some of the best conversations I’ve ever had in my life with him. He knows a lot and has a lot to share, but not in a cocky way and he always likes to hear my side of things. But most of all wants to have really meaningful discussions, thought-provoking, things that challenge me, challenge us, about the world and life and the reasons for it all. We just watched the documentary by Michael Moore called “Where To Invade Next” which was one of the best, most moving things I’ve seen in my life. It took my travels to a whole new level, exploring amazing, successful aspects of different European countries (many of which I've visited) and looking to “steal” them and bring them back to the US. It also connected to education and my future role of being a teacher, giving me new inspiration and ideas I hope to put into action as I begin that new chapter of my life. From my personal experience, learning about the opinions people from other countries have about the US, they’re not the best. I kind of knew that coming into this, but hearing the reasons why just makes you look further and further into the deep, fucking (excuse my language) dark destructive hole we’ve dug ourselves into. America is the most powerful country in the world so we think we are the best, but we’re far from it. Outsiders see America as the bully, that we meddle in other countries business when we can’t even deal with our own bullshit: the inequity of education, the widening economic gap, more than 50% of our taxes going towards the military just to kill more people, our incarceration rate, our food waste, our environmental damage, our deep-rooted problems of race and poverty, and above all our lack to fucking treat human beings with respect and dignity.