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toocool2btrue · 5 years

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Distance 1/2

This story is specially dedicated to @4evertiredpigeon. A very late birthday present. thank you for waiting so much, also special thanks to @artemisarya for making that much needed drawing for inspiration.

So I’ll make sure to keep my distance. Say “I love you” when you are not listening.

Lance stared at his reflection in the bathroom mirror, his skin had considerably darkened over his few years worth of farming experience, his features had matured over the following time period as well and that famous look of the teenage boy which once graced the heroic posters and countless magazines had long disappeared.

Instead there stood a man in his twenties, a man who had lost himself to his past while the rest of his comrades had decided to move forward. He lightly touched one of the bright blue Altean marks which scarred either side of his cheeks, there was a time when he considered them the greatest honor the universe could ever bestow on him.

After all he was the reminder of the universe’s savior, people would look at him and be reminded of Princess Allura and the epic sacrifices she had made for them. Eventually that was all he was worth and known for Allura’s shadow and nothing more unless being an Human Altean hybrid counted as something.

His glare narrowed from his tired face to the blue marks. He immediately looks away from his own reflection, he couldn’t even recognize himself anymore. It felt like looking at a completely different person and now he understands why his friends hesitated to meet his eyes.

His heart races at the prospect of finally moving forward, it felt terrifying yet exciting. Nervousness override him at the thought of working back in the Garrison, In his early years of self isolation the Garrison had offered him the post of pilot many times but despite the constant encouragement by his friends and family he refused to accept it.

Eventually everyone gave up on him, some people even choose to leave and he couldn’t blame them. Lance had no one but himself to blame for this current state…

A sharp knock on the bathroom door broke his train of thoughts. “Lance come down when you are done. Breakfast is ready” called out the familiar yet stiff voice.

He froze hearing her voice which was pretty stupid considering that he was living in her house. Accepting the Holt’s generous offer had not been a easy task for Lance. After all the person who connected him to this family, had long dissolved what remained of their frayed relationship. Ironically, that person was the same reason he had decided to accept the offer because if Lance was ready to turn his life around, mending his friendship with that specific person was a part of it.

“Uh..coming!” he yelled back, splashing his face with cold water and quickly grabbing his toothbrush.

It would be the utmost lie to say that he wasn’t disappointed, when he finally reached the kitchen to see the owner of the voice not present. Instead Colleen Holt gave him a sympathetic smile and gestured to the plate of pancakes on the table.

“Katie told me you have a big appetite. Feel free to ask for more” she kindly offered and Lance in turn only mumbled a shy thank you before taking the seat opposite to Colleen.

He quietly chewed on his pancake, which were delicious by the way trying to douse his unhappiness with breakfast. He could feel Colleen’s eyes on him and it took another moment before she finally spoke again.

“I am sorry that you haven’t got the chance to meet Katie yet. She’s just been very busy with work” she apologized. Lance gave her a small smile in return.

“It’s alright. I understand” he mumbled, truth was that he did understand. He couldn’t count the times his mother made similar excuses for him to sometimes turn down his friends. Lance inhaled softly, it was all his self created mess and he prayed that he gets a chance to fix it.

_______________________

Katie sighed in exhaustion as she opened the front door. The house was filled with a peaceful quietness and Katie wanted to do nothing more than collapse in her comfy bed and never wake up.

Unfortunately fate or more specifically her mother had different ideas. Colleen Holt slowly walked into the living room with a stern look in her eyes and her arms crossed against her chest.

“Katrina Holt, look at the time!” She demanded. “Mom I messaged you I would be late today but I still manage to have dinner” she added, hoping it would ease her case.

Unfortunately it didn’t and it was clear that her fate was sealed for the night, her mother momentarily flashed her concerned look before reverting back to the stern one.

“Katie, Lance has been here since last night and yet you haven’t spend even five minutes with the boy. What has gotten into you?”

“Mom the Garrison-” she started to protest.

“Can live without you for a few days. Katie, work is important but there is nothing more important than family and friends. Especially if your friend needs you” she mumbled the last part.

Katie’s eyes mildly widened in concern as Colleen continued, “I talked to his Sara (Lance’s mom) earlier. She told me that he has been very anxious for the exam. He really needs your support right now”

Guilt clawed at Katie’s heart, she admits that over the years due to her own personal reasons she had decided to keep her distance from Lance but at the end of the day they were all the soldiers of the same war. When one solider falls the other helps him up.

“Where is he right now?” Katie asked, feeling the rise of nervous butterflies in her stomach. Colleen motioned to the stairway, “In his room, he told me that he was going to be studying”

Katie nodded, slowly climbing the stairs to her brother’s old room which was now occupied by the ex-red paladin. Light spilled out from the partly opened door into the dark hallway.

Although it was awfully quiet, “Lance?” she whispered opening the door a little wider to see a figure slumped on the desk in the corner of the room. She tiptoed into the room to see her friend fast asleep, the desk was piled with open books and scribbled notes.

Lance was out cold snoring softly, his head resting on the table using one of the books as a makeshift pillow. It had been a longtime, since she had seen him that close, his past flawless skin looked beaten and tired. There were dark bags under his eyes and just as she was about to look away, there they were the Altean marks.

You would think that one would after all these years grow accustomed to them but still they always managed to uncomfortably twist her stomach with dread. Ever since Lance had gotten them, he was no longer Lance….

Katie shook her head, shaking away all the thoughts of the past that she preferred to stay away from. Instead she decided to focus back on her friend, it was obvious that he was exhausted and Katie didn’t want to disturb his slumber.

Instead she gently lifted his head to remove the book underneath it and replaced it with a pillow and covered the sleeping figure with a blanket. All these actions hardly stirred him, she adjusted the blanket properly where it slid from one of his shoulders and then closed the lights.

In the darkness she glanced one last time at silhouette before finally leaving.

______________

Next morning Lance slowly made his way downstairs, rubbing his head. He had slept in later than he usually would and as he made his way to the kitchen. The lack of noise made him suspect whether anyone was even at home

To his utter surprise, it was Katie who he ran into. In his sleepy haze it took him a minute to actually realize that it in fact his ‘Pidge’ standing in front of him. Katie was a no stranger to change herself, she had miraculously actually grown taller, her hair was now longer and tied back into a pony. Even the childhood chubbiness from her cheeks had disappeared and instead her face held more of a mature charm.

“You’re here. I was about to go wake you up” she greeted, setting down two coffee mugs on the table and he simply nodded taking a seat. Lance felt partly relieved knowing they were still up for casual conversations.

“How come you’re home at this time?” He questioned curiously trying to continue the conversation. Katie took a grateful sip of her coffee before replying.

“I was working late yesterday, couldn’t wake up on time. How is your studying going?” she asked in return, placing a pile of toast on the table.

Lance rubbed his eyes, "I feel like 17 again but not in a good way. I had forgotten how anxious exam time used to make me, couldn’t sleep properly for the past few days and now when I finally got the peace and tranquility that I needed to concentrate I passed out”

Katie giggled handing him the jar of strawberry jam, Lance gratefully took it and started spreading it his toast as he continued talking, bringing back old frankness in the conversation.

“I love my big family and all but Katie, I gotta say your house feels like a haven to me. I swear, I don’t know how I ever managed to study there. There are always like five people shouting in the background”. Katie snorted, taking a bite of her peanut butter sandwich. “Probably that’s why our moms considered it would be a better idea if you came here a week earlier to the pilot exams”

“I am really grateful for all of this” Lance offered sincerely.

Katie shook her head,”I can’t take any credit for this.This is all our moms planning after all”

It was really ironic that overtime their mothers had become better friends than them due to the fact Colleen provided Lance’s family with various fertilizers which improved their crops and they in turn supported some of her experiments that needed more of a natural environment though as time went by Sara and Colleens conversations turned from plants to their children and they bonded to become close friends after all hardly a handful of people understood what these mothers had gone through.

“I didn’t even know that you were coming prior to two days” she replied honestly. “What?” Lance questioned in disbelief.

“Well Mom has a tendency to forget things and it’s not like you and I..” Katie froze, realizing they were treading to dangerous territory.

“Anyway..” she cleared her throat, “Dad is finally coming home this evening from his international seminar and I am sure he can give you some useful pointers for the exam”

“That would be great, if its not to much trouble for him” he mumbled shyly in response. “Don’t be silly. Dad would love to help you out, he would have become a teacher if he didn’t love building rockets so much” she assured, getting up and grabbing her garrison jacket.

“Well I am off to work” she announced, pausing to grimace at her phone which had been constantly beeping with messages. “There is already a problem waiting for me.”

Lance nodded understandingly, “Good luck”

“Good luck to you too. I’ll see you at dinner” she waved off and disappeared out of the door. It took him another minute to actually register the last sentence. Warmth bloomed in his heart and Lance tried to bite back his smile as he took another sip of his coffee. It such small thing but he knew Katie well enough to know it was a step towards progress.

____________________

“Then I got up from the coma and shot Sendak’s arm!” Lance narrated to the amused Colleen as they prepared dinner together. “Keith also said that we had bonding moment but I don’t remember anything like that” he claimed to which Colleen giggled.

“Hunk once told me that you tried to attack Ezor and Zethrid when they singled out Katie even though your own hands were tied as well. That was very brave of you” she complimented to which Lance smiled bashfully. “Of course I would. i can’t count the times, she has done the same for me”

“Wait! I didn't tell you about the time we went to an alternate universe. We got into a fight and my head was probably about to be cut off if Kat-” his story was cut short as his phone suddenly started ringing. He immediately smiled seeing it was his mother.

Colleen smiled knowingly, “Go talk to her, I’ll take care of the rest. We are almost done anyway”

Lance nodded gratefully and headed out to the front porch, “Hello Mami, I hope you haven't been missing me too much?” he teased . “My dear son, of course i miss you but the people who miss you the most, are Nadia and Slyvio .They were very upset that you left again but when I told them you are to become a pilot-”

The rest of his mother’s words zoned out as Lance saw unfamiliar car park itself near the Holt’s house. Katie came out of the car and Lance was about to wave to her when he realized her attention was already occupied. She was talking to the person in the driving seat and soon enough the mystery figure also came out of the car.

He was a man of tall build and had light colored hair, the two figures unknown to their spectator stood too close for it to be considered platonic. The man dipped his head towards her but was playfully pushed away till Katie finally complied for a quick kiss on the cheek.

Although it was a simple act of affection, one he had witnessed a hundred times there was something to it that made his face grow hot and his heart skipped uncomfortably.

“Lance?!” his mother called out to him from the other line and it was enough to bring him back to reality. “Yes Mom?” he nervously laughed, letting his eyes fall to the ground.

“Where did you disappear?” She questioned, quizzically and Lance cleared his throat trying to ignore the weird twist in his stomach meanwhile maintaining his eye contact with the ground.

“There must be some problem with the reception” he mumbled half heartily, “Mami, It’s time for dinner. I will call you later, Goodbye” he hastily ended the call. He gave a quick glance to the still occupied couple and then headed inside.

_______________________

Later that night, they sat in Katie’s room flight manuals, textbooks and notebooks sprawled on her bed. Lance felt ready to drop dead in any minute but for the sake of his friend who was also sacrificing her night to help him, he kept his eyes pried open.

“So did the conversation with Dad help you?” she asked, taking a sip of her late night coffee. Lance felt rise of guilt, Katie must be mentally cursing him with every passing minute.

“Yeah.. yeah it did” he mumbled half asleep, rubbing his eyes. Sam Holt truly had made his life easier by providing him with all the necessary tips but unfortunately there was still the part of actually implementing on those tips.

The quiet night, his comfortable pajamas and the warm soft bed were doing a successful job in luring him to sleep. He glanced at Bae Bae who was sound asleep, her head resting on Katie’s lap, in his sleepy haze he started considering how much easier life would have been if he was a dog.

Katie on the other hand looked focused as always, her eyes had a glassy look of exhaustion he was familiar with but they still determinedly scanned from one paragraph to another. After while Lance couldn’t take it anymore, as much as he appreciated his friend’s help knowing she was a certified genius but the truth was he would much prefer to just have a normal conversation with her.

“Katie. Can we please stop? You are exhausted” he requested, reaching out to pry the manual from her hands. Katie momentarily looked at him as if she wanted to protest but then silently nodded letting Lance collect the rest of his clutter.

She leaned against the headboard, closing her eyes for a second. She was surprised to see Lance still sitting at the edge of her bed, he had cleared the books to one side and instead looked at her expectantly. She hated it when people looked at her expectantly at 11:30 pm but this wasn’t just anybody. He was Lance afterall. Brown eyes, Blue eyes and of course those Altean marks but they weren’t there when she had fallen for him all those years back.

That still didn’t stop her from feeling guilty, even without those Altean marks. It was always that clear Lance’s heart belonged to Allura and she had certified herself an idiot for ever thinking otherwise.

“Katie can we just..you know talk?” Lance mumbled hopefully, her eyes widened. Although it seemed like a simple request, the two people in question knew better. They hadn’t just talked in a longtime, todays breakfast didn’t count. It was something she had more or else rehearsed over last night.

She had this plan constructed and this was most definitely not part of the plan. In their paladin days, Lance and her had shared many late night talks while playing video games and her younger self had always been thrilled to share those intimate moments with him but now…things were different.

She glanced at the man, who still hopefully looked for her response. “Lance, I had a long day…” she mumbled, trying to kindly reject the offer.

She could practically see the light in his eyes dim and his face fell. Katie looked away, reconsidering her decision. Despite the fact she wasn’t in love with him anymore, she still had that damn soft spot for the ex-red paladin.

“But I am really curious on what happened with Keith on the planet of Gustav. I heard some major trouble arised when he visited it for a mission?” she questioned with a mischievous smile.

Lance nodded enthusiastically, leaning a bit more forward to tell the tale. “Three princesses of different countries of Gustav, fell in love with him and then they started fighting on who actually gets to marry Keith. Which almost led to a World War in the planet. Keith had to go into hiding because there was a high chance he was going to get kidnapped by one of the countries”

“What?!” Katie snorted, she knew it was plain evil to laugh on her friends misfortune but it couldn’t be helped.

Lance joined in laughter at the same time trying to catch his breath to tell the rest of the story. Thus it was the beginning for a very long night.

______________________

A few days later, Lance found himself in the Garrison to submit his application and get his physical examination. Although the need for more pilots had increased over the recent years there were still a high competition for the post.

Most of the applicants already knew each other well enough and chatted among themselves excitedly. Lance on the other hand, wanted to throw up. He was having second thoughts about giving the exam, doubts and insecurities plagued him, what if he fails? His family and friends would be so disappointed in him.

His attention however got slightly diverted as one of the candidates mentioned the Red lion.

“Dude I am telling you. That’s the pilot of Red lion” One of the applicants furiously whispered to his friend.

The friend not so discreetly glanced at Lance and then muttered , “You’re right but what is he doing here? Doesn’t he live on the farm or something”

Lance sighed taking a deep breath to calm his nerves, it wasn’t the first time he heard it. On his way he had been met with a lot of surprised and even some judgmental stares, that is the downside of being a public figure your decisions aren’t yours anymore. Thankfully Katie had already sensed his nervousness and insisted on walking with him the entire way.

The first one shrugged, “I don’t know but it would be pretty cool to have him around” he grinned and his friend nodded enthusiastically.

“I heard that he was the first person chosen by the Blue lion even though Takashi Shirogane was also present” the second candidate informed.

“He must be an amazing pilot then. It’s a good thing he decided to come back” he awed and his friend nodded.

The indirect praise slightly subsided his nervousness, Lance nodded determinedly. He could do this, they quiznacking saved the universe. Of course he can pass the pilot exam, he had people who believed in him and he couldn’t let them down.

_____________

As Lance got out of his physical exam, he was pleasantly surprised to find Katie waiting for him, She gave him a small smile which he responded with a bright grin.

“I can’t believe infamous Katie Holt is waiting for me?” he questioned teasingly to which Katie rolled her eyes, “Veronica wanted to check up on you but she was pulled into this last minute meeting so she send me instead”

“I am hurt, Pidge. I thought you actually came here to see me” he sighed dramatically. Katie tried her best to fight back the smile at her friend’s theatrics but failed miserably.

“Lance, you goof. I already see you everyday, few hours of not seeing each other won’t kill us” she stated, with a hint of fondness in her tone.

It brought back the warm fuzzy feeling in his chest. Although their current situation was temporary, he liked the idea of seeing Katie everyday and his friends more often. Despite the anxiety and feeling out of place, Lance felt sure he was making the right decision.

Lance grinned as the perfect response came into his mind, “Well technically speaking-”

“Katie!!” a man’s voice called out from across the hallway. Startling the two friends, Lance immediately recognized the tall blond from the few days back.

The blond finally reached the pair, he had a excited grin on his face as he thrust out his right hand for Lance to shake.

“You must be Lance McClain. It’s nice to finally meet you” he greeted enthusiastically, Lance returned the handshake while unsurely glancing back at his friend.

“Lance, this is Eric” she finally introduced.

“Nice to meet you as well, Eric” he replied with a small smile.

“Katie told me you are trying out to be the pilot. Best of luck” Eric encouraged and Lance nodded gratefully. “Although if you want..” he added cheekily “My father is onthe board. I could give a good name for you”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Lance is a great pilot. He doesn’t need anything like that” Katie immediately intervened much to Lance’s relief.

“And you” she stated, lightly smacking Eric’s shoulder. “Shouldn’t be offering such things”

Eric chuckled, rubbing his shoulder. “Relax. I was just joking”

Lance chuckled weakly to support Eric’s remark, the conversation was yet again interrupted when Katie received a phone call and she stepped a bit aside to talk.

Lance and Eric meanwhile awkwardly stood with one another, not knowing how to continue the conversation. Till Lance noticed that Eric was still rubbing her arm. Maybe that wasn’t a light smack as it looked.

“Still hurts huh?” he questioned, gesturing to his arm and Eric nodded, “I think sometimes Katie underestimates her own strength ” he affectionately laughed.

“I should have gotten used to it by now. You see, that’s just how she shows affection” Eric informed, the lighthearted comment unfortunately struck the wrong cord with Lance.

“I know” he replied in a humorless manner, of course he knew that’s how Pidge showed her affection. Heck he had been in the receiving end of those affections long before this dude even existed in her life.

The look of surprise on Eric’s face gave Lance a nice reality check that he might be getting too flustered over nothing. As much as he hoped, he didn’t think adding Lool to the conversation was going to be very helpful. Thankfully his savior arrived yet again.

“Eric, I have to go now. I’ll see you at lunch” she informed her boyfriend. Who nodded and lightly squeezed her hand in response, she then turned to Lance “You are coming with me. Veronica said she will pick you up from my lab for lunch”

“Let’s get going” she ushered, grabbing Lance’s wrist and gently tugging him to start moving while she furiously typed on her phone with her other hand. Lance made a mental note, to never cross paths with Pidge during work hours.

“Why am I under constant surveillance by you two?” he mumbled, feeling slightly annoyed as he followed Pidge to her lab.

“Well considering the fact you looked like you were ready to bolt any minute this morning. We considered this would be much more safer option” she replied snarkily, still occupied with her phone.

“By the way. Try to come back home till dinner, I wasn’t supposed to tell you this but Mom is making garlic knots for you” she informed with a small smile, finally looking him in the eyes.

Lance felt a rush of gratitude, a part of him felt as if he didn’t deserve the love and support his friends and especially Katie and her family was giving him but another part him advised that he should try to cherish it and in given time return it if he could.

“And before you start thinking again that we are doing too much. You should know, that Mom and Dad really like having you around and that’s why mom interrogated me to know what was your favorite food. You don’t how scary that was” Katie laughed and Lance joined in.

It took him a moment to realize that Katie hadn’t mentioned that she was glad to have him too. He regretted, that after so much effort he had done in their earlier years of friendship for her to open up. He let those walls grow back for him. It was bound to happen for he had never taken in account other people’s feelings during his period of self isolation and this was his price to pay.

They finally reached the lab to see Veronica already waiting for them at the door. She immediately engulfed Lance into a hug throwing her strict professionalism to the side.

“Sorry I couldn’t meet up with you earlier” she apologized, pulling away to which Lance simply nodded, accepting the apology. Lance from the corner of his eye spotted Katie looked a bit teary eyed witnessing the scene, most likely she was thinking about her own brother who was currently galaxies away.

Seeing a sudden vulnerable side to her, made his heart ache and Lance really wanted to hug and comfort her. Although they had shared a lot of half hearted group hugs after the war, Lance felt like it had been centuries since he had held Katie.

Katie was a master of concealing her emotions, a moment later the teary look was gone and instead a big smile radiated on her. “I have to get going now. Have fun you guys” she waved off before disappearing behind the closed doors of her lab.

Lance didn’t know he had been holding his breath till Veronica lightly shook him to get back his attention. “I have found this great place with the best milkshakes” she informed and Lance nodded excitedly trying to keep up with his sister. He gently touching his chest, inside of which his heart beat wildly. He didn’t know the exact reason but most likely just of the exciting day he just had…..

______________________

Later that night at the Holt’s home, Colleen looked up from her book as her daughter entered the kitchen.

“Sam must be telling stories of his youth again?” she questioned her daughter, who just had come back from the living room. Sam Holt aside from being a researcher loved to tell stories in his free time and now after a long search he had found his perfect audience in Lance who in turn loved to listen to tales.

Katie grinned mischievously, taking a seat next to her mother. “He is telling the story of how you two met”

“He’s probably told it a hundred times by now.” Colleen replied, pretending to be annoyed but there was this obvious glow of happiness radiating from her demeanor. Katie had no one but her own parents to blame for her high expectation for love.

“I talked to Sara earlier today. She was really hoping after he settles down that he would give love another chance. Start dating again” Colleen informed, casually flipping through her book.

Katie stared at her mother in bewilderment, “But Mom what about the whole Allura-”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Katie. I know Allura meant a lot to all of you but don’t forget he was just a boy of 17 when he lost her. He is only 23 now and has his whole life ahead of him, the only logical thing for him would be to move on” her mother stated sternly.

Colleen’s expression slightly softened and she lowered her voice, “Honey, you kids need to realize that life isn’t meant to be lived for someone else much less someone who isn’t there anymore. As his friend, you shouldn’t support this decision instead try encourage him to move forward. It’s the best for him” she whispered encouragingly and Katie nodded thoughtfully.

For a split second an old thought entered her mind, the very thought she had buried deep years ago. She shook her head, letting it disappear again and instead decided to ponder on her mother’s words.

“And now here we are with two kids and almost three decades of marriage between us. Time does fly fast” Sam chuckled, ending the story but Lance wasn’t done, there was a question that was bothering and he wanted to know the answer.

“How did you know Colleen was the one instead of other girl. Were you in love with her since middle school?” Lance questioned.

Sam looked surprised by the interest, his children had always been too busy pretending to gag to actually hear the story.

Sam ran his hand through his graying hair and then mumbled thoughtfully, “No I don’t think I was in love with her since middle school. We really didn’t get along back then, she used to tease me a lot especially about me being shorter than her and I vowed to get revenge with her one day” he smiled fondly.

“Still even as a kid. I never really imagined my life without her and it really bugged me back then but then she changed schools and we didn’t meet for a longtime”

“When we met again as adults, you know Colleen was already engaged to her then boyfriend and I was dating as well so I didn’t really ever consider it then too but slowly as time went by and we worked together. I had these moments, where I would imagine us together many years in the future doing the most mundane things and it made my heart race” Sam whispered wistfully.

“From my experience, love isn’t always a obvious feeling. Sometimes it’s slowly growing inside of you without you ever noticing it but then there will come a moment when you look at that person and you’d realize that nothing makes sense without them anymore. That’s when you know” Sam advised, the words gave Lance goosebumps. He slowly reached to touch his Altean marks, they hadn’t glowed, they had never glown after the Lions left.

For some reason he felt relieved that they didn’t, was it some kind of sign from Allura?Truth to be told, Katie’s parents story made him wistful. It reminded him of something he had yearned for since his youth but given up a longtime ago.

“I still can’t believe Colleen followed you all the way to America” Lance chuckled. “Well she found me and then she punched me, saying things like how dare you confess your love and then leave me in Italy. Rest is all fuzzy, she punched me pretty hard after all” Sam recalled.

“Well you deserved it” Colleen intervened, as the mother daughter duo entered the room.

Katie shot Lance a stern look that made him want to dig his own grave, “Lance you said you would start studying again half an hour ago” she reminded.

Colleen rubbed her temples in a exhausted manner, “Sam, Honey you have a early meeting tomorrow. You should go to bed now”

“But-” they tried to protest in unison but one more look from the Holt women had the two of them on their feet.

Sam and Lance shared one last defeated look before heading to their respective rooms.

________________

Later that night, Lance nervously stood outside Pidge’s door. He didn’t know if Pidge had fallen asleep or not but really needed help with this question.

His ears pricked when he heard a mumbled shout from the other side of the door, slightly worried Lance immediately knocked. Five seconds later, a confused Katie opened the door. Her hair was piled into a messy bun and she was wearing a white tank with green pajama pants.

“Lance?” she questioned. Lance blinked back in response, he had no idea why he had become suddenly transfixed instead he just simply raised his notebook to show Katie the question.

“Oh” she simply whispered, inviting him inside. The first thing he noticed that the room was pitch black till Pidge opened her lights again, the second thing he noticed was the game system set up. He had noticed the game system earlier, tucked cosily in the corner of her room but never had the courage to ask her to play with him. He had lost the right to that after all.

Pidge hummed to herself as she read the question again, “Sorry Lance but can we do this tomorrow? I don’t have the brain power for this question” she mumbled apologetically.

Lance nodded taking back his notebook, “That’s alright. Goodnight ” he wished and started heading out again.

“Wait! Do you want to play?” Katie asked, suddenly without thinking. She mentally scolded herself, apparently her brain had also lost the power to make logical decisions.

Lance stood unsurely stood next to the door, “Really?” he asked in a excited yet somewhat cautious tone. Katie considered her decision yet again, she knew she wouldn’t be going to bed unless she passed this level. She had been stuck on it for two days now, Lance on the other hand was the only capable player she knew other than her brother and herself.

She nodded beckoning him over to the floor where cushions were already spread out. Without another moment of hesitation, Lance joined in and Pidge explained her problem to him.

It took them another half an hour to pass the level, Lance claimed he could have done it faster if he wasn’t so rusty. Pidge simply chose to ignore the comment with an eye roll. Another 30 minutes passed as the pair got invested to pass the next level as well but their quest didn’t last long because by then their fingers were sore.

They sat on the floor in amiable silence, till Lance finally asked the question that had been pestering him the whole day. “So how did your lunch date go?” he wondered.

Katie looked at him in a bemused manner, “I was waiting for you to crack. You passed my expectations. Also, the Date went well”

“Katie, why didn’t you tell me about your boyfriend. I felt so clueless meeting him today. I understand why you didn’t tell me before but I have been literally living in your house for a whole week now. A little heads-up would have been nice” he stated, sternly.

“Fine” Katie mumbled. She took a deep breath before finally continuing, “Lance, I am seeing someone” she uttered trying her best to keep a straight face.

The look of incredulity on his face was enough to set her in a fit of giggles. “Katie!” Lance called out annoyed, causing the laughter to increase.

It her another minute for her to compose herself, “Fine, the reason I didn’t want to tell you is because I knew you would pester me with a thousand questions” Katie supplied.

“I don’t do that” he tried to defend himself, Katie eyed him in an unimpressed manner “Fine. Then I don’t think you will mind if we end this conversation right here” she teased.

“Well I wouldn’t mind but if you really want to tell. I suppose that I can listen” He in turn replied smugly.

“Goodnight Lance” she replied, not budging either so then he finally admitted his defeat. “Fine you win. Now will you please tell me” he begged.

Katie smirked in satisfaction, “Well there isn’t much to say. You already know his name, he is one of the engineers for the Defenders Project. I have known him for a year but we only been seeing each other for a few months-”

“Are you in love with him?” he questioned suddenly, Katie momentarily looked at him surprised before shaking her head, “What? no. I am not in love with him”

Lance studied her face, her response looked genuine enough. He felt somewhat relieved but didn’t ponder too much on it in the favor of asking another question. “Wait you are telling me that you guys have been dating for a few months and you aren’t in love with him. Then why are you still dating?”

“Because news for you. Not everyone is looking for commitments, I may not be in love with him but I still find him attractive and we have good time together” Katie reasoned.

“He does know that right?” Lance questioned and Katie nodded. “I told him from the beginning that I wasn’t looking for a serious relationship and he said he wasn’t either”

Lance begged to differ for Eric, from what he had noticed earlier. Eric was clearly smitten for Katie. He also felt surprised seeing the new side to his friend, Katie had never looked interested at the idea of romance during Voltron days and clearly he missed a lot from that point on.

“Lance? Why are you creepily staring at me like that?” Pidge wondered breaking his chain of thoughts.

“Sorry” he mumbled, “It’s just that I always thought you would want a relationship. Only if you were very serious about someone” Lance shared and Katie smiled sadly, hugging herself.

She was convinced that the universe held a personal grudge against her when Lance uttered those lines, “I thought I was like that too” she mumbled.

As she looked up to meet his ocean gaze, for a second it felt like her past feelings had resurfaced “But I guess things change…”

________________________

“Katie, did I ever tell you how amazing you are?” Lance breathed in joy as the familiar building came into view. “Well you have a few times but it never gets old so you can say it again” she cheekily smiled.

Lance took a hesitant towards her, he was dying to engulf her in a tight bear hug. One of the things, he learned about his friend in the last few days was how much Katie cared in the name of not caring. He never realized how well she knew him, sometimes better than even himself.

As much he wanted to, Lance let his arms fall to his sides and instead gazed at the building that made his stomach turn with nostalgia. “Lance are you gonna stare at it all day or actually intend to go inside?” she remarked sarcastically.

“Sorry. I can’t just believe it’s still here” he marveled. “I didn’t believe it either at first but I have known about it for a while now. Just didn’t want to come alone” she mumbled the last part.

Lance smiled softly at her, “To think there was a time we actually had to drag you here”

Katie glanced back at the brightly colored ice-cream shop. It was an old tradition for Lance, Hunk and a reluctant Pidge to come here after a stressful week of exams or whenever one of them got a good grade. Basically any good news was an excuse for them to visit Mr Willows old ice-cream shop.

“I am glad you did” she finally admitted, “I just really wish Hunk and Keith were here too. It’s not everyday when Lancey Lance does well at the stimulator exam” she teased.

“Oh like you are the one to talk. You were with me everytime we failed. We failed together” Lance reminded, despite the playful remark. Lance’s smile fell as he realized, how true the statement was. They had been together, through all of it. From worrying about their next exam to worrying about the Galra to now this…

Yes they had almost two years of estrangement between them but that time made him realize something important. He needed her. He needed Pidge. He needed Katie. More than he ever tried to realize before and this time he will try to be better person, the friend she actually deserved.

“Katie. Veronica is taking me tonight to celebrate the end of exams, can you please come too?” Lance asked hopefully.

Katie’s face fell, “I would love to but I already have a date with Eric tonight. Sorry” she apologized. Lance shook his head, “Hey no need to apologize. He asked you first”

Katie nodded gratefully and headed first into the shop, he watched her go inside with a distant look in his eyes. Maybe Katie didn’t need him anymore…

__________________

“Uh.. Mom why are there two suitcases in the hallway?” Katie questioned, as a frantic Colleen appeared.

“Katie. I forgot about the wedding!!” Colleen exclaimed, Katie’s nose scrunched up trying to remember what wedding was her mother talking about.

“Your Aunt called me today asking about at what time should she come to pick us up from the airport and then I remembered it was Isabel’s wedding in two days” Colleen explained before disappearing upstairs again.

Oh that wedding, Katie was really hoping that they had forgotten about that one. She really wasn’t in the mood to be bridesmaid for her cousin’s wedding, one of the few things she and her cousin actually might agree on.

“So all of us are going?” she asked, glancing back at a very confused Lance. Colleen appeared again, holding a smaller bag this time.

“It’s just your Father and I. Someone needs to be here with Lance. I will tell your Aunt that you have gone for a intergalactic meeting” she replied, Katie immediately grinned this might be the best news her mother ever told her.

Lance on the other hand, looked guilty. “You shouldn’t ruin your plans because of me. Katie should go to her cousin’s wedding, I can crash on Veronica’s couc-OW!” he yelped as Katie pinched his side.

“Shut up” she mouthed furiously to the Cuban boy, thankfully Colleen was yet again distracted with her suitcases to notice the silent exchange.

Sam was next to appear, he didn’t look particularly excited for the wedding either. Katie felt sorry for her father but currently it was every man for himself. “I finally got our tickets booked. Our flight is in three hours” he informed.

“Good good” she muttered, absentmindedly taking a seat on the couch. “I just can’t believe that I forgot. I am the worst sister ever” she whispered tiredly. Sam shared a startled look with Katie and Lance, before going over to his wife.

“Honey. It’s not your fault, she will understand” he comforted hugging his wife. Katie nudged Lance to follow her into the kitchen to give her parents a moment.

“Katie, your parents are the ultimate couple goals” Lance stated to which she laughed.

“Believe me I know. They were separated so many times but still manage to find each other no matter whether the distance is countries or galaxies” she added.

“I would love to have something like that” Katie whispered wistfully, surprising Lance by the sudden confession. “I have all these examples of true love around me and sometimes I just wish there was someone like that for me too”

The look in Katie’s eyes gave him goosebumps, it was a completely unguarded look. Suddenly she seized him with a more determined look, “You have experienced true love, right?” she asked suddenly.

“I guess?” he blurted out despite being the one asking the question she didn’t much heed to his response for she already looked she looked long lost in her own world. “Eric is a great boyfriend” she sighed. “We always have a good time together but I never feel this rush of electricity when he holds me” she explained, frustratedly.

As to emphasize her point, she gripped Lance’s right hand between her two pale ones. “You have surely felt it right? That spark? She questioned. Her intense gaze held him hostage and demanded an answer but for the first time, the talkative boy truly found what it meant to be tongue tied as goosebumps ran down his spine.

He prayed that his mind was playing tricks on him for he felt not just a jolt of electricity but as he if had been electrocuted again but it made him crave it more at the same time for it felt nerve wrecking yet addicting at the same time.

His gaze hadn’t broken hers and he watched as Katie’s expression slowly relaxed to a more softer look and her face slightly inched closer to his. His heart started beating wildly, feeling her softer hands around his calloused one, a crazy idea formed in his mind. He wondered what it would feel like to actually kiss her.

BAM!!

"Stupid suitcase!” Sam Holt’s distant cry made them snap out of their trance.

Katie was first one to pull away, her cheeks were lightly dusted with red and Lance was sure that his cheeks didn’t look much different. The two of them spared each other the embarrassment by not making eye contact with one another and made their way back to the living room where Lance started helping Sam with the suitcases while Katie listened to her mother’s last minute instructions.

Not long after Katie waved off her parents as they got into the taxi, Lance stood at the doorway watching the scene. He had a peaceful look on his face but the truth was that his mind was buzzing with crazy possibilities and questions.

As Katie made her way back to the house. Their eyes met and they were forced to finally acknowledged each other again. Her eyes looked guarded behind a thousand walls and she hugged herself before saying. “Uh..sorry for you know earlier. I got a bit carried away with my rambles, didn’t I?” she laughed weakly and Lance could only manage a small smile in response.

“Anyway I better go. Start getting ready. Eric will be here soon after all” She mumbled tiredly and Lance nodded, ignoring the deep seated disappointment in his heart.

Katie sighed sharply observing her friend, “You should probably take shower too before Veronica arrives” she suggested and then slowly walked away.

___________________

“So that’s why I didn’t want to go to the wedding. I am so glad I managed to get out of it. Dad didn’t want to go either but Mom really wasn’t ready to go alone” Katie informed. “I see” Eric replied, absentmindedly.

“You aren’t listening” Katie pouted, Eric chuckled in response as he wrapped one arm around her frame. “I was listening. Your Mom and Dad are gone to your cousin’s wedding and since you two never got along you are glad that you didn’t have to go because Lance is staying with you” He summarised easily to which Katie nodded proudly.

“But wait..” he suddenly stopped walking and faced her again. “Does that mean it’s just you two in the house?” He questioned seriously. “No we have Bae Bae too” she joked but Eric didn’t laugh.

“What is it?” she questioned yet again not understanding the implication. After a moment Eric’s face relaxed and he brushed off the earlier conversation, “Nothing.. although I gotta ask you. Is there a chance you might be forgetting something too?”

“The Garrison formal ball is this weekend!” She remembered. “How could I forget about this. I sure I am turning into my mother as well, I haven’t even decided what would I wear…” Katie rambled.

“Katie I am sure whatever you wear. You’ll look beautiful” He assured, lifting her chin and pulling her in a deep kiss.

It surely looked like one of the most romantic sight ever as pale moonlight fell on them and faint scent of roses from the park filled the air.

But as they pulled apart, Katie only weakly smiled at him before tucking herself underneath his arm like before. Disappointed was a small word for what she felt, she had really hoped that this one would be different. Things would be so much easier, if she truly was in love with him. Eric was everything she could ever ask for, it would have been so perfect if she had actually fallen for him.

It’s not like she didn’t try to during the last few months but despite how great he was and how many times he showed that he genuinely cared for. Katie felt like she was only settling and that wasn’t fair to either of them. Katie glanced at him, his dark brown radiated with happiness as he narrated an old childhood story.

He deserved better, someone who mutually adores him. She breathed in his familiar cologne and felt the arm that protectively rested on her. It wasn’t easy to let go of someone who adores you and dotes on you. Someone who gave you what you wanted for a longtime but it was the right thing to do.

After earlier today, the bitter truth was that her heart was still set on the Cuban. She couldn’t even deny it if she tried and although she was well aware that she didn’t have any chance with him. Staying with Eric would still be unfair, due to her selfishness he might miss a chance to meet his true love.

“Katie, do you wanna try the new ice-cream shop?” Eric asked innocently, unknown to her inner turmoil. She simply nodded in reply, as they started walking to his car.

Soon, she decided. She will end things soon. A part of her knew she might regret it but she simply couldn’t make him expect more from her. Her heart raced remembering those ocean eyes. Damn you Lance. You never gave me back my heart.

The second part is out as well! I hope you enjoyed the first part. Please reblog and tell me about your favorite part

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slushiesrmyweakness · 5 years

Text

When you know that you have homework to work on but you choose to read wholesome Miraculous Ladybug and Voltron fanfics instead, even though future-you will be the one to suffer.

#college life #questionable decisions #fanfics #lukanette #felinette #adrienette #disappointed future-me #8am class tomorrow #why am i like this #plance #kidge

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hailqiqi · 5 years

Text

Message Received and Misunderstood

Once a promising fighter pilot candidate with the best skin in the Garrison, Lance Serrano is now relegated to languishing in cargo training during the day and locking himself in the library at night, sacrificing his self-care for a pile of textbooks like the nerds he used to make fun of.

He doesn't even bother talking to the other late-night regulars -- the boy with the Rubik's Cube, the girl who chews her pens too loudly, or the Sadako-wannabe who's always the only other person in there at midnight.

Friends will only distract him, and he needs to study.

Rating: G

Chapter One: First Contact

4,622 words | Read on AO3

So here’s my contribution to the @planceminibang! Beta’d by the wonderful @sp4c3-0ddity and with art (Chapter 3!) from the fantastically-talented @artemisarya, here’s a little teenage sweetness that’s a bit different from my normal offerings.

Enjoy!

5TH JANUARY

The rough calculations on the page had long since blurred together by the time his phone blinks for break time, and Lance slumps forward onto the table with a groan.

Twenty minutes. Another twenty minutes that he’s been at this stupid problem, and despite filling both sides of the page up with calculations, he’s still no closer to figuring out if a hafnium carbide vessel would survive the stress of a gravity assist off Saturn or not.

He lifts his head and glares at the paper. Two points were all that had stood between him and making fighter pilot; instead, he’s stuck in cargo training and desperately trying to pull up his grades at night because he needs an extra fifty to make it in off a retest. And despite the lack of sleep and him studying harder than he ever had in his life — even harder than he had for the entrance exams — it’s now half-way through the school year and he’s still staring down a failing grade.

All because of freaking materials science.

Maybe he should just give up. There’s no shame in being a cargo pilot, mijo, his mom had said. Cargo pilots make a steady wage — a good wage, enough to raise a family and have a lot left over. The job wasn’t as boring as it sounded, and there were still opportunities to leave the atmosphere (and while he’d been bottom of fighter, he was top of the cargo class so he’d definitely be given the space runs).

But cargo isn’t what he wants. Maybe he’s being immature, but he wants to swoop and soar and feel the world fall out from underneath him at mach speeds when he jiggles the stick. You can’t do a barrel roll in a cargo ship, even in space.

His phone flashes again and he leans back in his seat, hands over his eyes as he begins to recite the problem again.

“If the hafnium carbide heat shields are two inches thick and have a tensile strength of 14,000 psi at 2,000 degrees…”

It’s way too freaking late for this.

“And Saturn’s gravity is 10.44, and we’re travelling in a prograde direction during the assist and approach from…” This bit he can do. The miss distance, the outgoing velocity, the amount of fuel needed — he’d calculated it so many times now he can rattle the whole thing off by memory, but once he gets past the flight calculations he needs to check his notes to know what happens next. “And then…”

He glances at the paper, checks both sides, and groans again, one hand in his hair. “...And then some random amount of heat is generated and I guess the stupid shuttle explodes and everybody dies, ‘cause I’ll be a flying space cow if I know if it survives or not.”

A snort of laughter from behind makes him jump.

He whips around in his seat, heart in his throat because it’s eleven p.m., who the heck is in the library at this hour?, only to be met by a pair of laughing brown eyes half-hidden behind a curtain of equally brown hair.

Oh, yeah. Her. The only other person crazy enough to be in the library every night, even though he’s fairly sure she’s not studying for the resit since he doesn’t recognise her from any of his classes last year. In all the months they’ve shared a space they’ve barely exchanged a nod, but it looks like that’s about to change because she’s actually speaking to him.

“I’m sorry,” the girl is saying, mirth still flowing in her tone and not looking sorry in the slightest. “That was just really funny.”

Lance rolls his eyes. “I’m glad someone finds it funny.” He begins to turn away but then stops, desperation prodding him to use this opportunity. “You...wouldn’t happen to know the answer, would you?”

The girl looks surprised. “What’s the question? Whether or not the heat shields would survive the gravity assist?” Lance nods, and she blinks. “Well, yeah, of course they would.”

“Uh...Say what?”

“Yes, they’d survive. Zero material stress, actually,” she repeats steadily, her head tilted in confusion.

“Oh… Thanks,” he manages, and she shrugs and turns back to her textbook.

Lance grabs his sheet of paper, fumbling it in his haste to turn it over and go over all the calculations again because she sounds so sure, like it’s an easy question when he’s been at it for almost a freaking hour now with no results.

What did he miss? He must have missed something. Something obvious? Where are his notes on Kepler’s laws?

With five minutes left on the study clock he gives in and turns back to the girl. The Library Sadako, he’d nicknamed her, since her hair is always covering her face and her pyjamas are as shapeless as a ghost’s robes. Plus she had a habit of appearing and disappearing from the library all but soundlessly.

But right now she’s his last hope.

“So, uh… How do you prove it?”

She glances up at him, an irritated frown on her face at the interruption, and Lance realises there are bags under her eyes too. But her tone is neutral when she clarifies, “The material stress question?”

Lance nods, and she puts her pencil down and eyes him curiously. “You don’t need to prove it. Those are the specs for The Obol’s heat shields, and that flight path was the one for the return Saturn assist from the Kerberos mission last year. Remember?”

The ticking of the clock in the corner is suddenly much too loud, and all he can do is stare.

“You don’t need to prove it,” she repeats, exasperation creeping into her tone. “It’s already been proven. That’s one of the general knowledge questions.”

He spins back around, practically snarling in frustration as he digs through his papers to find the mock with the question on it.

When he finally finds it, it’s all he can do not to burn the damn thing. Stupid, stupid, stupid… She’s right, and there’s only two lines for an answer. Nowhere near enough space for the pages of vector diagrams and formulas covering his scrap paper.

And he’d wasted an hour on this. Stupid, stupid, stupid…

Maybe he should just go back to the farm. Veronica wouldn’t have been this dumb. Heck, Keith wouldn’t have been this dumb and the guy wasn’t exactly the brightest in the bunch. Still, Keith’s in fighter class while Lance is languishing in cargo, so if Keith’s stupid what does that make Lance?

Really stupid. Space-level stupid. The stupidest stupid to—

The thud of books hitting the table next to him rips him from his thoughts, and he looks up in surprise to see the girl pulling out the chair next to him, a hesitant smile on her face.

“When I studied for the entrance tests, I always found it easier to focus at night when I had my brother with me, even if we didn’t talk,” she says, one hand on the back of her neck as she sits down. “So, uh, maybe some company will help?”

Without waiting for an answer, she arranges her books, flipping open a notebook and textbook with practiced ease and beginning work on what looks like a flight mechanics question. Lance watches her for a moment, unsure, then sighs and flips to the next question on the paper.

Maybe she’s right. He might as well give it a go, since his solo progress has been nothing to brag about.

It’s almost midnight, anyway.

*****

10TH FEBRUARY

As it turns out, Sadako’s name is Katie, and she’s studying for the same exam he is.

But not because she failed round one, like Lance. She’s two grades below him and looking to skip a year.

Lance can’t help but find it a little bit galling, especially when it’s 11 p.m. and she’s just finished walking him through a Critical Reasoning question for the third time like it’s nothing. The formulas — formulae — are all neatly laid out on the paper, but Lance still doesn’t get it.

“Why are you even here?!” he blurts out, his jaw aching from the frustration. Katie recoils, her mouth hanging open and hurt flashing across her face and — oh — he hadn’t meant for that to sound so harsh.

Especially not when she’d put so much effort into helping him over the last month.

“I’m sorry,” he mutters, taking the pencil from her hand gently and putting it down before running his hand through his hair. “It’s just...none of this seems even a little bit hard for you. Why are you bothering to stay up like this?”

It’s something he’s wondered for a while. Katie’s been the only other person in the library until closing almost every night since fall so he’d always assumed they were in similar places, but now they were actually studying together…

“Oh,” she says, the tension leaving her posture again. Apology accepted, Lance guesses, but her eyes linger on his material science textbook instead of him, and her fingers fiddle with the ends of her long hair as she speaks. “Um, well, mat-sci really isn’t that hard for me. My dad’s...uh, my dad works for the Garrison as an engineer, and he does a lot of R&D and he always talks about his work at home, so…”

Katie taps the book, looking distinctly uncomfortable for some reason. Lance raises an eyebrow. “So if you haven’t been studying this, what have you been studying all this time?”

“Flight manuals,” Katie replies, finally meeting his gaze again, and Lance is relieved to see a spark in her eyes again. “I’ve only flown the droids a few times, and some of the older planes in basic, but the practical is a big part of the class exams and since there’s no way I’m going to get any actual practice, if I at least memorise all the flight manuals and mechanics and everything then I should have a shot.”

“Memorise the flight manuals?!”

“Yeah!” Lance stares at her as she chatters on enthusiastically, seemingly oblivious to how absurd that suggestion is in the first place. “A strong foundation in the theory can never be a replacement for practical experience, but it can be the difference between a weak pass and a fail. Of course I’ve been brushing up on stuff like this as well”—she pats the textbook twice—“because the closer I get to a hundred percent on the other subjects, the less a poor practical score will matter. I’ve tried to code my own simulations too” —you’ve tried to what?!—“but obviously I can’t replicate the physical aspects of the hardware with my laptop. I mean, I’d try a set-up of books and stuff just to get the motions down but then my roommate would probably complain even m—”

Lance bursts out laughing, cutting her ramble off abruptly, and Katie narrows her eyes at him.

“What?”

“Nothing, nothing.” Laughter still threatens to bubble over, but he pushes it down as he explains, “Just...that’s a lot!” His gaze falls to the notes from their study session and the pile of books spread across the desk, and he suddenly realises how he can pay her back a little. “Hey, my prac scores were pretty high, so I can help you out with that stuff if you want?”

A warm, genuine smile spreads across Katie’s face as she looks at him, and Lance realises with a start it’s the first time he’s seen it. It transforms her, turning her from a tired teenager in pyjamas into something his exhausted brain vaguely recognises as the sun.

“Really?!” Her tone is way too vibrant for this hour of night, and her hair swings back and forth as she bobs in her seat. “That would be the best! Thank you!”

Lance beams.

*****

20TH FEBRUARY

Hunk is rambling nervously about his last sim class as students bustle through the hallways when Lance’s phone finally buzzes with a reply.

Mid-terms are in two weeks. Of course I’m coming tonight. Usual time?

He shoots off a thumbs-up and turns back to tune into Hunk’s chatter.

“—and then he broke the whole comms deck and Lance, what if he does that during our mid-terms? Keith already made Iverson angry — and I mean really angry — and oh, if we get marked down on the pracs because of it then I’m really going to need to pull up my avionics and aero science scores if I want to stay in the top ten,” Hunk continues, breathless. “Oh man, I have no idea how I’m going to do that on top of all this other stuff we have to study! I don’t even want to leave the ground, why do I have to learn how to fly the stupid things?!”

Lance glances up from his phone, a smirk already on his lips. “Because you went to flight school, maybe?”

“Ugh, don’t remind me!” Hunk slumps back against the wall and groans. “Hands down the Biggest. Mistake. Of my life.”

Lance’s phone buzzes with a reply. He checks it quickly, excitement filling him when he sees the small thumbs up icon.

“Hey, if you’re worried about your exam scores, why don’t you study with us in the library sometimes?”

Hunk pauses, expression turning devious as he straightens up and turns to face him. “Us? You mean you and your study girlfriend?”

He waggles his eyebrows meaningfully, and Lance rolls his eyes, shoving his phone back into his pocket.

“Katie. And you know she’s not my girlfriend. She’s good to study with, though, and she said you should come.”

“Hm.” Hunk’s expression doesn’t change. If anything, his smirk grows more irritating. “Okay, I’m in. It’s about time I met the elusive Katie, anyway.”

*****

10TH MARCH

The first time Lance sees Katie in daylight is at a diner near campus the week after mid-terms.

“Why don’t you just ask your brother, Pidge?” Hunk asks accusatorially, wielding a fry at the girl across the table rolling her eyes at them. “Can’t he like, just log in and tell me my scores? Given that he’s a famous astronaut and all.”

Katie — Pidge, he has to remember to call her Pidge now because she freaking deserves it after all the lies she told him in the library — grabs the fry from Hunk’s grasp and pops it into her mouth, chewing it deliberately slowly before swallowing and replying with a frown, “You know it doesn’t work like that. And stop calling me Pidge.”

“Aw, but Pidge is such a good nickname. Cute Pidgey-Widgey Pigeon.” Hunk pops another fry into his mouth as Pidge’s expression darkens.

(For someone who spends most of his time worrying, he’s a heck of a lot braver facing certain death than Lance would be.)

“Oh my God, can’t you just drop it?”

“Nope,” he replies, smirk still firmly in place. “It’s your punishment for keeping secrets. Isn’t that right, Lance?”

Lance glances from Hunk to Pidge, then decides that self-preservation is for losers after all.

“Totally.” He quirks an eyebrow, inwardly delighting at how her eyes narrow as they focus on him. “Hey, don’t look at me like that. You’re the one who was all ‘oh, I’m just good at this because my dad’s an engineer’ and totally forgot to mention that he wrote the freaking textbook.”

“Ugh!” Katie slumps forward, all but slamming her forehead on the table. “Look, I’m sorry if I didn’t tell you guys, but people hear the name ‘Holt’ and get weird, okay?”

The last bit comes out as a mumble, and Lance feels a stab of sympathy. The weight of having successful siblings is something he understands well; he can only imagine the pressure of coming from an entire line of Garrison royalty.

Then again… “We’ve been friends for months, Katie,” he points out. “It just sucks that we had to find out because your famous astronaut brother appeared in the library and started calling you ‘Pidge’.”

Katie raises her head, lips pursed in annoyance. “So what, you guys are going to stop using my real name as my penance or something?”

“Exactly,” Hunk says decisively. “Like, I wouldn’t have cared if you’d told us — hey, Matt was pretty cool, and it’s so freaking amazing that your dad is like one of my engineering heroes — but finding it out like that sucked. You should’ve trusted us enough to tell us.” He pauses, then goes for the kill. “I thought we were friends.”

Her face falls, and Lance is vaguely aware that they might have overdone it.

*****

25TH MARCH

The post-Matt interrogation at the diner starts something. Soon, Pidge is joining them for lunch in the canteen every day, and then breakfast, and then before Lance has really processed it their duo has become a trio and it feels weird to think of a time when Pidge wasn’t in their group.

Moments like now, though, remind him.

“Why would he make a fool of himself?”

“Because that,” Hunk answers with a flourish, gesturing at Jenny’s retreating back, “was—”

And Lance suddenly realises that he doesn’t want Pidge to know about this.

He quickly slaps a hand over Hunk’s mouth, ignoring his muffled indignation to smile awkwardly at Pidge. “Y’know what? It doesn’t matter. You don’t need t— armmf!”

Less than two seconds later he’s struggling to breathe, strong muscles wrapped firmly around his head and torso and the pungent smell of Hunk’s armpit filling his nostrils.

“That,” Hunk continues, barely affected by Lance’s struggles for freedom, “was Jenny Shayburn.”

“Who’s Jenny Shayburn?” Pidge asks, and Lance can just imagine her expression: one eyebrow raised with that look that says why must you be like this? as she watches their tussle.

Or, well, Lance would like to call it a tussle. Hunk probably just sees it as an inconvenience.

“Oh, just the love of Lance’s life and his obsession for the last two years. No big deal.”

Lance slumps against Hunk’s chest and groans. Both Pidge and Hunk latch onto gossip with the ferocity of his brother’s old terrier.

“Oh,” she says, her tone flat. “Weird.”

Lance pushes away from Hunk, who releases him without a fight, but he can’t find any relief in his reprieve. Pidge’s fingers grip her cup tightly as she sips, her gaze fixed on the students entering and leaving the canteen, and Lance feels an odd weight settle in his stomach.

What’s he supposed to say to that? A part of him wants to protest that he hasn’t thought about Jenny in ages, but it feels like... What’s that Shakespeare quote? The one about the lady protesting?

That.

Hunk glances between them, a calculating expression on his face as he takes in the tension at the table, then waves at Pidge to get her attention. “So,” he begins, tone sly, “is there anyone you like? Any special boy in our little Pigeon’s life?”

Lance rolls his eyes and tries to look as disinterested as possible, even though a part of him is on tenterhooks waiting for the answer. It’s not a topic they’ve ever broached in their hangouts.

“Sorry, no,” Pidge answers quickly, but she’s avoiding their gaze and the lie is obvious, and Lance suddenly wonders who it is and if he could take him in a fight.

Though it’s not like he cares.

“Aw, c’mon, you can tell us,” Hunk cajoles, nudging Lance far too hard in the chest with his elbow. “Bet you loverboy Lance here can give you some tips for catching his eye.”

“Uh, yeah! Sure!” He runs a hand through his bangs, feigning a confidence he’s not feeling. “Advice. I can totally help ya out.”

He grins and shoots her some fingerguns, adding a wink for good measure. There. That was natural.

The deadpan expression on her face doesn’t change (maybe he’s lost his touch?).

“Thanks, but no thanks,” she replies at length, shifting uncomfortably in her seat. “Look, it’s just a crush and he doesn’t like me back anyway. Can we change the topic now?”

For whatever reason, Hunk obliges, and the weird tension that had hung over the table dissipates fairly quickly as they move on to safer topics. The strange taste in Lance’s mouth lingers, though, and he’s not sure why.

*****

3RD APRIL

Everybody else in the diner is watching and chuckling and Pidge looks like she’s about to die, but really — she should know by now that they take that as encouragement.

“Haaapppy birthday dear Pigeon…” they bellow, Hunk adding an impressive vibrato on the low note. “Haaapppy birthday tooo—” Lance manages to take it up way-too-high there, grinning proudly when Pidge winces from behind her hands— “you!”

They finish with a poor attempt at harmonisation, bodies half-out of the booth with a flourish of jazz hands as the rest of the restaurant bursts into laughter, whoops and applause.

“Oh my God…” Pidge mutters, finally removing her hands from her face as the noise dies down. “Can I blow these stupid things out now?!”

Her tone is deadpan but her cheeks are a bright pink, but the sparkle in her eyes is what really gives her away. She’s pleased, she just thinks she’s too cool to show it.

(Or something. Sometimes Pidge really confuses him.)

After several unsuccessful attempts to blow them out, Pidge plucks the sparklers from her pile of pancakes and rapidly-melting ice cream and dunks them both in Lance’s water before he can stop her. Then she waves the dead sparklers in his direction with narrowed eyes and hisses, “I know the sparklers were your idea.”

“You wound me!!” Lance protests, his hand on his heart as he pretends to swoon. “You should know by now I only have your wellbeing at heart!”

“Nah, she’s not that dumb, buddy,” Hunk adds. Pidge snorts, turning into a full-blown laugh when Lance flops onto the table dramatically at Hunk’s betrayal, getting ice-cream in his hair in the process.

They dig into their pancakes with gusto, discussing their plans for when spring break starts the next day (Lance and Pidge are both heading home — Lance to Cuba to help with the calving and ploughing, Pidge to her family’s house just outside post — while Hunk is staying on at school for the fortnight) and debating the perfect topping combination and whether or not they’d be able to eat them when they finally made their way into space. It’s the most carefree meal Lance has had in a while — the perfect end to a busy term — and it’s enough to make him forget about the gift bag on the seat next to him.

But eventually the plates are cleared and the butterflies come back full-force when Hunk drops his gift on the table with a thud.

“Seriously?!” Pidge exclaims, beaming as she looks between them. “Guys, you didn’t need to!”

“Hey, this one’s just from me! Open it.” He pushes the box towards Pidge, winking surreptitiously at Lance as he adds, “Lance has his own present for you.”

Pidge tears into Hunk’s gift with gusto, her eyes lighting up as she removes what looks like a very small version of the throttle used in the fighter sims. Hunk starts rattling off its specs — he’d picked up an old one and basically reengineered the part with help from his whiz-kid pilot — and Pidge launches into a series of questions, almost all of which fly way over Lance’s head.

He tunes out of the conversation somewhere around the point where they start making plans for Hunk to visit her over the break to help install it, instead choosing to sit back and watch his friends interact. The hair in Katie’s ponytail is swinging all over the place as she does that excited bobbing thing she does, and he can’t help but think that it’s ridiculously cute.

A well-placed elbow rips Lance from his thoughts and he hurriedly grabs the bag and shoves it across the table, almost tipping it over in the process and wincing at how uncool he must look.

He quickly flashes a pose and follows it up with a wink and fingerguns (fingerguns can save any situation. Fact). “Mine’s the best, obviously.”

“Obviously,” Pidge drawls with a smile, but her brow furrows as she accepts the bag and looks inside. “Uh, did you forget your umbrella in here…?”

“Oh! No, no, that’s for you.” Hunk’s shoulders are shaking with laughter beside him, and Lance can feel his cheeks heating up. “Just like, you seem like a practical girl, and an umbrella’s a practical gift!”

The fingerguns come out again, and Pidge rolls her eyes with a laugh as she places the green-and-blue umbrella to the side (really he’d just picked it up so he wasn’t just giving her the other thing, but she didn’t need to know that). “Okay…”

The butterflies return in full force as she opens the bag again and pulls out the slim box, her expression shifting to one of surprise as she recognises it.

“Go on. Open it,” he says, answering the question in her eyes, and he can’t help his lips from pulling up into a smile when she does so and gasps.

“Lance…” She looks from him to the necklace in the box, eyes wide and lips parted, then shakes her head. “Lance, I can’t accept this! It must have cost you a fortune.”

But the way she’s looking at it — at him — lets him know that she really wants to, and that’s enough for the butterflies to finally settle into something warm and soft instead.

“Nah, it wasn’t that much.” Only his whole allowance for the month, but she didn’t need to know that, either. “I just saw it and thought it would suit you. And you only turn sixteen once, right?”

She flashes him a smile and looks back at the necklace, eyes soft as her fingertip traces over the intricate gold and green pendant. He’s telling the truth about thinking it would suit her — he saw it on a trip to the mall and immediately wanted to get it for Pidge, and that was before he’d known her birthday was coming up.

Hunk is nudging him with his elbow, making weird noises that Lance knows translate to ‘See? See? I told you she’d like it’ and Lance feels an urge to laugh because he’d been so stupidly nervous about giving her his gift — even though it’s just a necklace! It’s not like it’s a ring or anything else with some weird hidden meaning.

“Could you help me put it on?”

He stares at Pidge, startled by the shy question. Her cheeks are a bright pink but she’s not looking away and he nods dumbly, rooted to the spot until Hunk all but shoves him out of the booth and towards Pidge’s side.

“I, uh… Sure.”

His fingers barely tremble as he removes the necklace from the proffered box, and then Pidge is leaning forward and flipping her ponytail out of the way and before he really knows what’s going on he’s fastened the clasp and is drawing away from the pale, freckled skin of her neck and back to his side of the booth (which suddenly feels so, so far away), fingertips burning as he takes his seat again.

“Thanks.” Pidge beams at him as she fiddles with the pendant displayed on her chest.

Lance nods dumbly, heart pounding. Her skin was so soft. Are all girls that soft?

He glances from Pidge’s smile to the pendant, finally breaking into a genuine smile himself as one thought crosses his mind.

He was right. It does suit her.

#plance #pidgance #flirtyrobot #lidge #pance #my writing #plance mini bang #high school au #sort of? idk we'll just say that kerberos was a success and the galra don't exist #What If We Were Alone In The Universe #oops now we're getting all Jayden Smith existential #except the galra must exist because keith exists BUT ANYWAY they didn't catch Shiro or the Holts #probably because they looked into the future and realised Pidge is fucking terrifying and they'd better leave her fam alone if they want #the empire to remain intact #ANYWAY #have some teenage angst

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funtryandthepaladudes · 5 years

Text

Behind the Lady’s Door

Today is my turn to contribute to the @planceminibang.

Here’s the link to the story: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19806028

Here’s a summary:

The concept is simple. There are two doors. One leads to a Lady to marry, the other to a Lion to feed.

What isn't simple is life after this Galran Sentence. Particularly for Pidge, who's just gotten married to her childhood crush in this manner. While she isn't worried about living with Lance in theory, she's afraid of her feelings ruining the status quo. Can she maintain a 'platonic relationship', or will her repressed emotions burst forth and shake up the relative harmony between them.

This story is rated T, because some scenes are very suggestive, but no details are given.

It has been my greatest pleasure to be teamed up with my @whyamistillhungry as my Beta-Reader and @a-haunted-sock as my artist.

See the art for this story here: https://a-haunted-sock.tumblr.com/post/186400599625/aaaand-we-have-liftoff-this-is-the-opener-comic

https://a-haunted-sock.tumblr.com/post/186403962175/bright-morning-here-is-pic-23-for

https://a-haunted-sock.tumblr.com/post/186411843000/to-love-and-be-loved-in-return-okay-i-promise

And now, on to the main event:

My feet tap listlessly as I sit in the empty chamber. I wish the Galra Empire would fill the room with… well anything. Books, games, a cheese platter. Quiznack, even hanging some art would liven up the place. But to be fair, most of the other 'Ladies' don't stay in the system as long as I did. Before I arrived here, the longest a 'Lady' remained in the Dorms was five weeks. It will be my third anniversary here in a few days. It's a little hard to fathom. I still remember the day I first came here. I had volunteered to so that I could keep my family together. Dad and Matt had begged me not to do it, but I was a stubborn kid, barely fifteen, and I thought marrying some stranger would be better than letting them be incarcerated for life for 'Treasonous Activities'. It was only once I was sitting on the stiff stool for the first time that I realized how risky this was.

My potential husband was going to be an alleged criminal. Regardless of actual culpability, I have no idea what kind of person I will wind up with. Even if they were innocent of the crime they were charged with, they could still be horrific people. After all, the Empire saves this particular sentence for the most insidious cases. Back then, I probably was too preoccupied with all those sudden concerns to notice how bland this room was. Yet, even with the tedium, the rumors, and the fact that at this rate, I probably won't see my family until I'm past childbearing age, I don't regret my decision. The alternatives would have been worse. Matt could have been on the other side.

“Don't think about that now, they're all safe.” I wonder which lion I am paired with today. I'd like to think it's the green eyed one, she's my favorite. I should ask the Grand Dayak if I can skip my lectures from now on. After all, at this point I have heard them so many times that I could teach the material. Scratch that, she's never going to agree to that. I can already hear her stuffy voice say, ‘Lecturing is a Dayak's job, yours is to learn. To do otherwise would be absurd. Besides, we can't make exceptions for you otherwise we might as well descend into chaos.’ Ugh, I wish. I hope whoever's out there deserves to be mauled. Not that I know for sure that today won't be the day I finally get hitched, but with my track record that's unlikely. The other 'Ladies' don't call me 'Cursed Katie' behind my back for nothing.

The creaking of the door, snaps me out of my musings, but for some reason the sound is coming from behind me—Wait! That means… I turn around and indeed, the door that had remained shut for my entire stay here has been opened. And even more surprisingly, the last person I ever expected to see behind that door is standing there.

“Lance?” I whisper to myself.

It has been so long since I've last seen him. Longer than my stay at the Dormitory. Oftentimes, I would think back on those simpler times, particularly when the Dayak put me in solitary confinement for 'misbehaving'. I wonder if life would have been different if my family had never moved to the Capital. Would Dad and Matt have never been framed? Would I have not wasted three years in this miserable place? Would Lance, Hunk and me still be close friends? Would I have eventually told Lance how I felt? Would it have saved him from getting to this point? Why is he here in the first place?

I look to him as these questions and memories flood my mind, as if hoping he will answer them. However, with the guards rushing us to the Hall of Ceremonies, we don't even get to exchange words. Come to think of it, I doubt he would remember me. Sure, we used to play around when we were kids, and I might have had my first crush on him, but Lance was always a social butterfly. I wouldn't be surprised if he only interacted with me because he had this need to befriend everybody. Besides, he only knew me by my nickname, and I'm not even sure he knew I was a girl. Or more specifically, he didn't flirt with me like he usually did with other girls. If only I could get a few minutes to talk to him…

Once we reach the Hall of Ceremonies, we are separated. If I hadn't had this procedure drilled into me by the Dayaks, I would be about as disoriented as Lance looks when he is suddenly snatched away from me. As Draconian as the Galra are, they're very dedicated to formality. And a man can't get married in the clothes he was convicted in. I myself am already prepped for the ceremony, all I need is to have my make-up refreshed. The Grand Dayak is in the Prep Room, no doubt to give me some last words of wisdom.

“You are responsible for his actions from here on out, so if he acts out of line again, both of you will go straight to the Lions. However, if you inform us of any misdeeds he might commit, you can be pardoned. We might even give you a position at the Dormitory again. Not as a Lady, obviously, but...”

I am not going to miss her.

Before I know it we are in front of the Great Room. The ceremony is a bit stilted at first, despite me knowing all the words, because Lance is completely out of his depth. I try to help him as best as I can, prompting him whenever he becomes stuck. Once he starts reading my signals, the ceremony runs smoother. Time passes in a blur, and we are quickly in the final acknowledgments.

“Do you acknowledge that this Lady is your salvation, and is to be treated in reverence as such, by providing for, protecting, and living as a model citizen?” The Ordainer asks Lance.

“Yes...” I mouth the right words to him. “I acknowledge!”

The Ordainer seems satisfied with his response. He turns to me and asks my final question. “Do you acknowledge that your role is to keep him from being convicted again, by any means possible, and failure to keep him discouraged from criminal activity, or failing to report any such activity, and supporting such activity will result in the immediate execution of both of you?”

“I acknowledge.” I struggle to keep the bitterness out of my tone. Even after all these years, this farce of a wedding ceremony makes me sick. At least it's over now.

“Then celebrate your vindication by demonstrating your devotion to your new freedom. Kiss your bride!” The Ordainer proclaims. Oh right, that. I face Lance, ready to get this over with, but he looks back at me hesitantly, as if worried about me being uncomfortable. I can't help but be touched by this. Even if it's been years since I've seen him, he's still the sweet boy I remember, just wanting anybody he meets to be at ease. I take his hand, the first time we have touched all throughout this ordeal, and nod so that he knows it's OK. The hesitance doesn't completely leave him, but he does manage to lightly press his lips against mine, putting an end to this quiznacking ceremony. All that's left is the reception. I hate this. I hate that this is the only kind of wedding I get. I hate that this was my first kiss. But most of all, I hate that this is our reunion. This would be a lot less frustrating if I could just talk to him. Perhaps at the Reception.

---

We don't talk at the reception. So far, I haven't been able to talk to him, what with people constantly coming up to us to congratulate us, as if this was a real wedding. I don't even know any of these people, but I can't snub them either, because most of them are dignitaries of some kind. I keep a lookout for my family, but doubt they will be there. The identity of the Lady is kept secret until the moment her door is opened, and all contact with the outside world is cut off for us. There was no way for them to know when I was being paired with a Lion, and I imagine after the first year of my door not being selected they would have given up hope of seeing me again. Yet, if I remember the lessons the Dayak told me correctly, family members are only permitted to approach us after the Opening Dance, provided a Noble doesn't ask one of us to dance with them after. Perhaps, I'll see them then. I'll just have to endure all this pretense. Maybe once all the greetings have been exchanged I can finally talk…

“They're too close.” I mutter.

“What was that?” Lance asks. Clearly I wasn't as quiet as I thought.

“I mean, our chairs. I know it's our 'wedding' and we have to share a plate, but geez, how close do we have to be?” I play it off. A pair of noblewomen titter at my comment. Just as I thought. The Upper-class need to get their entertainment from these Public Sentences, and if it's not from a mauling, they might as well get it from our awkward situation. I don't really have anything to hide; Ladies are allowed to have a prior acquaintance with their 'Grooms'. But I'll be quiznacked before I give these people anything else to small talk over their tea parties at. And honestly, the chairs are too close. I can't move my left leg, without brushing against Lance's right one. Every time I do, he does this startled jerk. It's kind of adorable—I'm tempted to do it deliberately. “No, focus Katie. Just eat your dinner, and wait for an opening.”

The entire dinner we are in earshot of the nobility, so we only exchange a few words here or there. Naturally, I can't speak to him as we hand out desert, or as we are handed our gifts. I think that I might be able to get some privacy during the dance, but I wind up having to talk him through that as well. Hopefully, we'll get a break now. Indeed, none of the nobles have asked us to dance yet, however, Lance's family comes to finally see him. As I expected, my family isn't here. I sigh as I watch him get embraced by all of them. I didn't know them that well back then so I feel a bit like I'm intruding, even though they are technically now my family as well. If there is one thing I don't despise about this entire thing, is that at least I could return him to his family. I am wondering if I should introduce myself, when I feel somebody tug at me.

“My Lady, if you could please follow me” a blonde young woman says to me demurely. I've never seen her in my life. She's not noble, or even Galra for that matter, and she certainly isn't one of the attendants from the Dormitory. And yet, I have a feeling I should probably follow her.

“Of course, just give me a moment.”

“We need to hurry.”

I do not know what to make of that, but I have a hunch on who is actually sending for me, though I can't for the life of me fathom why. I look to check on Lance to see if he's still caught up with his family and then follow the blonde, who I suspect is Altean. She leads me through a few hallways and rooms, until we reach a seemingly unoccupied balcony.

“You made it! I was beginning to think you couldn't get away” a female voice speaks up out of the shadows. The person who emerges is exactly who I expected.

“To what do I owe the pleasure, Princess Allura?” I say as I curtsy.

“Please, there's no need to be so formal. It is your Wedding Day after all! I just wanted to congratulate you.”

“Couldn't you have done that with the other nobles earlier?” I ask skeptically. I doubt Prince Lotor's betrothed has any ill intentions, but the fact that she had me summoned away from his presence is pretty suspicious. I can at least deduce that whatever Lance was sentenced for must have, in someway, landed him on the Prince's shit-list.

“Indeed, but I wanted to do it privately...” She begins to explain. I wait for her to tell me her real purpose. “... and to apologize.” Huh, I didn't know what I expected, but that was not it.

My face must display my confusion, because she immediately begins explaining. “Look, I don't exactly understand all the customs of this empire, but I can't imagine that you really wanted to be forced into a marriage like this. So I can't help but feel a bit guilty in rigging the results, but I couldn't let him die like this. Not when he didn't do anything wrong.”

Wow, that was vague. But at least I know that Lance was unjustly sentenced to this insanity; no surprise there. Lance was always an honest person at his core. I could never imagine him changing that drastically. I am about to ask for more details, when the blonde returns. “Your Grace, people are asking for you.”

“Quiznack! I'm sorry to cut this short. I wish I could say we'll talk again soon, but that's highly unlikely. Take good care of Lance, please. Romelle, get her out of here quickly.”

Without any hesitation I am rushed back to the Ballroom. I can't help but be intrigued by the princess. It's unusual to see nobility refer to the help by name. Also, how does she know Lance? I know it's been years, but I think I would have remembered if he was nobility. Then again, I have no idea what he had been doing for a living. But nothing he did should have made him close enough to the foreign princess to make her risk a political incident by rigging a Lady or Lion sentence. Another thing to ask Lance about, once we're alone. When we get back to the Ballroom, Lance and his family are exactly where I left them. I try to innocuously approach them, but Lance seemed to have heard my footsteps.

“Hey, where did you go? I was just about to introduce you to my folks.”

“Oh, uhm. I needed to use the bathroom, and I needed some assistance with getting my dress out of the way, and Romelle here was kind enough to help out?” I try to indicate to the blonde, but she has already left. However, Lance's eyes widen at the sound of her name, and for a second I think he's going to say something about her. However, he seemingly changes his mind after casting a furtive look around.

“I see, well come along then. My family is anxious to meet you.” He says instead and moves on from the subject, leading me to his family, with his arm around my shoulders. He introduces me as Katie, so I guess he really must not remember me. I was always Pidge to him. His family are instantly accepting of me, hugging me like I had always been a part of their family. His mother even burst into tears, as she holds on to me, repeatedly thanking me for saving Lance's life. It makes me wish I had done more, and it also makes me yearn for my own mother. Being with his family actually motivates me to pretend like I'm enjoying this. I actually feel disappointed when the closing dance is announced. I was just beginning to have fun at my own 'wedding' - who would have thought?! The Closing Dance is just a retread of the Opening Dance, so Lance doesn't need my help as much. This could be a great opportunity to talk, but I'm not sure I want to risk it yet. Lance seems to have other ideas.

“Thanks for being great with my family.” He whispers in my ear. I'm a little ashamed by the excited shiver that runs over my body. Get a grip, he's trying to be private not seductive.

“I didn't really do anything.”

“But you did. I might not be the brightest person in the room, but I could tell that this whole 'wedding' is making you uncomfortable. The fact that you were willing to put on a brave face for them really put them at ease. You can't imagine how worried they were about this whole thing.” He's right. I hadn't even considered that his family might have been worried about who he'll end up with, provided he was not eaten. Sure, I'm not necessarily a 'convict', but they don't know what I'm like, what my motivations are, or how devout I am to the lessons of the Dayaks.

“I mean, it was no problem. Your family is lovely, it's hard not be cheerful around them. I wish my...” I can't get the words out. I'm afraid I might cry. Lance seems to understand, squeezing my hand a bit longer than he needs to, before bending down to my ears again.

“We'll find them tomorrow.” He promises, and I am inclined to believe him.

We're finally alone. In our State-Issued House. In our master bedroom. On the same bed. Perhaps it was all those years of hearing the same lessons, but I had somehow blocked out this part of procedure. True, we're not required to produce a child, but it is still highly encouraged. Anything to keep the convict in line, right? I don't know if it would be better or worse if I had wound up here with some faceless stranger instead, but at least I would know what action to take based on their behavior. Lance hasn't moved an inch since the guards dumped us in this room, snickering on the way out. Maybe I should say something…

“So, how you been, Pidge?”

“... I thought you didn't recognize me.”

“I didn't. At least not completely. You looked familiar, but I couldn't really place it at first. It hit me when you were giving the stink eye to the nobles.”

“Shut up.” We laugh together. It feels nice.

“But seriously, what were you doing in the Dormitory? I thought you would be running the Empire by now.”

“That's really kind of you to say, even if I would rather die than go into politics.” He shrugs playfully as he turns towards me. “Trust me, I had no aspirations to be there. I just didn't have a choice” I add.

“Did you get framed?”

“No, my dad and Matt… they were inventing some astounding machinery, but they were more of the 'help make life easier for the common man' than the 'make conquering the Empire's enemies faster' ilk. When the military offered them a lucrative position to make a chemical weapon, they politely declined. Suddenly, they were being charged with treason. So, naturally...”

“Wow, I'm sorry about that. How are they doing?”

“Well, I hope. I haven't heard from them since I was brought to the Dormitory.”

“How long ago was that?”

“About three years?” He winces, and takes my hand between his.

“It must have been hard.” he says softly, as he strokes the back of my hand with his thumb. It feels comforting, but I try not to dwell on that.

“I found ways to cope.” I answer casually.

“How exactly?”

“Oh, you know. Made plans for what I would do once I finally left. Tuned out the Dayaks just enough to repeat what they were teaching when I was asked, but in reality thought about various experiments I'd rather be doing. Befriended the Lions.”

“Befriended the Lions?”

“Yeah, they're actually quite sweet when they weren't being starved prior to a sentencing. Plus, unlike the other Ladies, they were the only constants. I would go to their pen often, particularly after curfew. It made me feel just a little more defiant.”

“You always were the rebel in our friend group.”

“You know it.” we laugh a little, and it begins to feel like we're back to being kids again. But then I remember that our situation is not that simple anymore, and it fractures our moment of ease. Lance seems to notice my distress and puts a hand on my cheek.

“Hey, this doesn't have to be weird. We were friends before, let's just try to be friends again. We'll take it a day at a time, and if we become something more… well, uhm… I wouldn't mind that either.” The only thing preventing me from laughing at his nervous state, is the fact that I'm fighting my own flush. “But if you don't want anything to happen tonight, then nothing needs to happen. I just want you to be comfortable, so unless we are required to produce children...”

“We're not.”

“Yeah, then, do you want to just sleep?”

“... It has been a long day.”

“Sorry, I'll shut up now.” I try to reassure him, that I don't mind spending the night talking to him, but a yawn escapes me, and before I know it, Lance is behind my back, running his fingers through my hair, with us under the covers. I am this close to just falling asleep, but one question keeps me awake still.

“Hey Lance?”

“Hmm?”

“Why were you sentenced in the first place?”

His hand movement stops as he considers his response. “I just fell in love with the wrong person.”

And just like that, everything falls into place. The princess' subterfuge, her apologetic words, the simple fact that he was in this situation in the first place. Lance and Princess Allura were secret lovers, and now I was the greatest obstacle between them. This revelation erased the fatigue I had just seconds before, overcome by my turbulent emotions. However, Lance's ministrations with my hair did eventually mollify me again, but not before I swore not to let myself fall for him. After all, what good would come from loving an emotionally unavailable man?

---

I still remember the path to my home. It is a relief, yet I do notice the many changes that had occurred during my absence. Nothing major, just buildings that were new now looking faded, properties with overgrown plants, some walls repainted, the odd new store. The little discrepancies from my memory make me anxious about reaching my destination. What if I don't like the change I find there?

As if sensing my uncertainty, Lance reaches out to squeeze my hand. I would be lying if I said I didn't have reservations about bringing him along at first. Yet, at the moment I couldn't be more relieved that he came with me. I don't usually care for too much physical contact, but even as kids I never minded his more tactile personality. Aside from that, I just really needed something to hold on to at the moment, and if Lance is gracious enough not to complain about my sweaty hands, then I'll gladly hold on to him.

I might grip a little too hard when we approach the front yard. It looks mostly unchanged from my memories. Some trees are taller, and the color on the fence is a little more faded, but it is essentially identical to how it looked when the Empire took me away. I could imagine I'm just a teenager again, coming back from town and eager to greet my Mother, who'd be working in the garden. Even Lance would fit into this image somehow. He could be an old friend I ran into that wanted to drop in to say 'hi'. The one thing that is different is the silence. Back then, I could always expect to hear Mom humming some random tune to herself. The fact that I don't hear her makes me fear the worst. So when I do finally gather the courage to walk in, I am more than relieved to find Mom where I expected her. Sure, the garden is slightly more chaotic than I thought she would have ever let it become, and she seems to be listless in her movements, but none of that matters.

“Mom!” I let go of Lance's hand as I run-tackle her. Seconds later, she's out of whatever stupor she was in and holding me in an even tighter grip then mine. I feel tears on my face, and I honestly don't know if it's mine or hers, but I'm honestly just happy to be surrounded by her scent once again. Before I know it, I am surrounded by more arms as Dad and Matt join us in our reunion. I am starting to have trouble breathing from all the embraces, but I couldn't care less. I'm finally home.

I remember Lance a good few minutes after being immersed with my family. I look towards the gate where I had last seen him, and sure enough, he's still there, nervously shifting his feet.

“Oh, guys, this Lance, my… husband.” Even though it is the truth, calling him that feels wrong somehow. Yet, calling him anything else would feel dishonest too. Regardless, I doubt anything I called him would have prevented the mood shifting drastically. As my family looks towards him, their faces shift from ecstatic to somber. Lance doesn't flinch as they all seem to dissect him with their eyes, however unwarranted, because he is also aware of what he represents. For better or worse, Lance is a reminder that my freedom is conditional. I just wish somebody would say something already.

“It's nice to...” Mom tries “... I'm Colleen, and this is Sam, Katie's father, and that's Matt, my first born.”

“I, uhm, kinda knew that already. Not that I don't appreciate the introduction, but me and Pidge… uh Katie, used to be friends back in the day.”

“Really? Wait, are you Lance Serrano?” Dad asks.

“Yeah, I am. Do you remember me?”

“Not personally, but your sister used to be my student back in Arus.”

“Oh right!” Matt also interjects. “Your Veronica's baby brother.”

“That would be me. I completely forgot about that connection.” Honestly, so had I. In my memories of my old Hometown, Lance is just a fixture, I barely remember how we first met. I imagine one of us tagged along with our respective older sibling on a group study session, and the rest is history.

“It's funny, how these things work out.” Dad remarks, a hint of a smile returning. Looks like the tension is gradually dispersing. Although the fact that Lance is technically a criminal is probably still a point of concern for my family, the shared history is more than a little reassuring. With this lighter atmosphere, we head inside. Some polite questions and answers are exchanged between Lance and my parents, and despite the conversation being standard small talk, it seems to be further helping. Oddly enough, Matt doesn't seem to have anything else to say. I know it's been a few years, but I remember my brother being more inquisitive. It was one of the many traits we had in common. I'll have to find out what that's about later. Right now, I just have to ensure that my parents don't tell Lance something he shouldn't hear. Platonic relationship or not, there are some things I'd rather keep secret.

When I first headed out on this venture, I had no idea how long it would take. We had a late start because post-Wedding frenzy is exhausting, even without consummation. And then we didn't leave for another two hours, because Lance insisted that we have brunch before meeting my family. He said it was for his nerves, but I suspect he was doing it for my sake. Now, it seems like we'll be here for a week, or at least till dinner. It's still being negotiated. Fortunately, the tension has all but dissipated. Apart from Matt, everybody has considerably eased up. So much so, that everybody seems to have found something else to do. Dad took Lance aside for 'Man-Talk', which I'm sure will consist of standard Dad-threats. Matt is out on an errand for Mom, and I am trying, and failing, at helping with dinner.

“Out of the question.” She insists. “You just got married, I missed your wedding, and you've just returned. I'm not going to force you to cook when we should be celebrating you. Besides, you're not that good at cooking.”

“That might have been true three years ago, but I've picked up some skills at the Dormitory, and now the food I make is known to be 'edible enough'.”

“Is that so? Then did you also make breakfast and lunch today?”

“First of all, we had brunch… and Lance made it.”

“Aha!”

“Hey! That was only because he was the one that wanted brunch in the first place.”

“Come on, Katie. Just relax. Go check out your room, I'm sure there are some projects left from back then” she says wistfully.

“You… You didn't clear out my room?”

“I couldn't. At first I was hoping that you would return soon, and when you didn't the most I could do is some light cleaning, but I… I just wanted the things that you left to still be there when you returned. Clearing them would have felt like… losing you all over again.”

And here I thought I was done with crying today. “I… I think I will check it out” I rasp as I wipe my tears.

“Oh, baby” She coos as she hugs me. “I'm just so happy to have you back.” I squeeze her back before I head to my old room, actually excited by what I might find. Mom was right, apart from my bed being made, my laundry picked up, and some light dusting, my room looks practically the same as the day I left it. If I didn't know better, I'd think I was just returning to my projects after a family vacation. I recognize the function of some of my contraptions on sight. For others I have to consult my notebook, which is still in it's usual spot. I am contemplating if I should try to move my projects to my new place, or if I should start from scratch when Matt busts into my room.

“Perfect, you're alone.”

“Matt, what's going on?”

“I was hoping to talk to you alone. Pidge, you can tell me the truth. Did he hurt you? Is he dangerous? Just say the word, and I'll take care of him. Veronica may be my friend, but your my sister, and you come first...”

“OK, slow down, weirdo. Lance is harmless. Do you really think I would have brought him here if he was in any way a threat?”

“How was I to know that? For all I know, he's a control freak, that doesn't let you go anywhere without him.”

“Again, Lance is not like that. Also, if that were the case, come on, this is me we're talking about. Do you really think I couldn't sneak away if I wanted to?”

“I don't know, you didn't these past three years.” He blurts out. When he realizes what he said, he grimaces and looks to the floor, clearly not intending to be this honest. To be fair he has a point. The security measures at the Dormitory were laughable.

“I did think about breaking out more than once, but it was never worth the risk.” I explain, in the hopes of bringing some kind of comfort.

“I understand,” He lifts his face again. “Doesn't change the fact that I wished you had. You didn't deserve to be in the Dormitory in the first place, and every day you were stuck there, I couldn't help feeling guilty.”

“Hey, you didn't deserve to be condemned for a crime you didn't commit. Besides, it wasn't all that bad. Sure it was boring, but I got my three meals a day, and my room was actually bigger than this one. It's a pity I couldn't take my tools with me. I could have gotten so much done.”

“That's good to know,” And from the look on his face, I can tell that a huge burden has been lifted. “But back to the original topic. Is Lance treating you right? He didn't… you know…”

“Oh my Bob, Matt, no! All we did on our 'Wedding Night' is catch up, and then literally sleep. Besides, that's never going to happen.”

“I might regret this, but can I ask why not?”

“The same reason he was sentenced in the first place.”

“... Which was?”

I sigh as I brace myself to drop this bomb. “Because he is Princess Allura's Secret Lover.”

“HER WHAT?!!!”

“Shh, are you trying to alert the whole neighborhood?”

“But… are you serious? Did he tell you that?”

“Not in so many words, but what he has said, combined with the clandestine meeting I had with the princess in question at my wedding reception leads me to believe that's probably the case.”

“You met the heir to the Altean throne? Tell me everything.”

And so I wind up telling him everything that happened yesterday from the time Lance opened my door to his cryptic confession in our shared bed. When I'm done, he has a contemplative look on his face.

“So, how do you feel about all this?” Is his first question.

“What do you mean? I mean the whole thing's crazy, but do you want me to get specific or should I just speak in generalities?”

“I mean about the fact that he might not reciprocate your feelings for him.” He deadpans. I am about to say something—a denial, a retort, or whatever—but he beats me to it by saying. “And before you lie to me, I'll remind you that I've known you since the day you were born, and also my observational skills are legendary, so of course I can recognize when you're in love with someone.”

“I'm not in love with him. It's just an old childhood crush that refuses to die, and it doesn't matter. He didn't have feelings for me before, the only difference between then and now is that he's in love with someone else and we're married.”

“That's quite a difference.”

“Tell me about it.” We share a sad laugh together.

“Hey, if you think you can handle it, then I'm not going to stop you. But your wrong, Pidge. Your feelings do matter. And if it ever gets to be too overwhelming, or if you just need to vent, I'm right here.”

“Thanks, Matt. I'll hold you to that. But enough about me, what's been going on with you? Are you still single, loser?”

“OK, you little gremlin. I might currently be the only unmarried member of this family, but I'll have you know, I've been seeing someone as of recently.”

“Wow, that's exciting!” It's actually a relief to know that Matt continued having a life in the years I was gone. We spend the time until dinner discussing his foreign Lady Friend and some projects he and Dad had been working on. At dinner, I am happy to learn that the tension from earlier has completely lifted, and that we'll be staying for two weeks. Lance gets along great with my family now. I don't know if the conversation he had with Dad went that well, or if this is just another case of Lance Magic, but the way we joke and laugh together, you would think he's been a part of the family for years. In another life, this might have been ordinary family dinner with my new Husb... “No! Stop it! You're not doing yourself any favors by letting your thoughts go that way. He's never going to love you like that, so don't even imagine what that would be like” I remind myself. But, even as I try to suffocate whatever warm feelings were developing, somewhere deep inside, I know I've missed a few sparks.

---

It has been about two months, and I think I'm starting to get the hang of this marriage. It helps that Lance is such a great partner. As tactile as he is, he never makes me uncomfortable, and even when he gets touch happy, I don't really mind it. I don't like examining why this is, so I just settle to accept it. I'll admit it was a bit awkward those first weeks, figuring out sleeping arrangements, boundaries, and basically a routine for our new lives. Perhaps because of our established friendship, or just the fact that our house is not that big, we ease into an unspoken understanding. In the privacy of our house—I still can't think of it as Home yet—we give each other space, but share a bed. In public we hold hands, and exchange cheek kisses or the occasional chaste peck.

As for the question of occupation, we will be receiving a Government Stipend until the Empire assigns us, or more likely just Lance, a new position. According to the lectures from back in the Dorm this shouldn't take longer than six months, however, our case worker said that it would take at least a year, as Lance's case was a little more 'sensitive'. Either way, it doesn't matter. If the Empire wants to sponsor my inventions and experiments instead of giving Lance a job, then who am I to argue. I was concerned about Lance growing restless, but he surprisingly took up gardening.

“Hey, it's hard work so it will keep me in shape, and if they decide to let me return to the Royal Guard, then at least I'll be ready.” is his explanation. Mom approved of his pick, naturally. Other than that, it's almost like being back in Arus. Just two friends on an extended sleepover. Or at least, that's what I keep telling myself. True, it's been a while since we were friends, but even then Lance has always had a way to creep past my defenses. Back then I was just introverted. Now, I'm trying not to fall for him.

And yet, as if somehow my secret thoughts have snuck into his subconscious, his mannerisms seem to be calculated to make me undone. It’s in the little things, like the way he'll ask a thousand questions about whatever project I'm working on, just because he wants to see what I'm so excited about. Or how he doesn't wear a shirt unless he absolutely has to. The forehead kisses in the morning, which I always roll my eyes at, but never outright tell him to stop. Every time he remembers some old joke from our childhood, my resolve wavers just a little bit more.

There are the more affectionate actions. The not-at-all surprise party he organized on my 18th birthday is one of the most specific examples. As caught up as I get with my projects, I had told him a week in advance just in case my parents or Matt dropped by or something. So on the actual day, when he insisted that we have to visit my family, because he had 'Important Questions about Squash' for Mom, I knew right away what he had up his sleeve. Yet his proud smile at having pulled one over me was so infectious, that I couldn't help but play along.

And then there are the 'Just Because' incidents. Like how he made me a bracelet from some of my leftover Olkari wires about a month ago, 'just because he remembered that he never got me a wedding gift.' Or how he'll occasional take me out for dinner at some affordable, but still atmospheric restaurant, 'just because neither of us feel like cooking , right?' Or the fact that he still strokes my hair as we fall asleep, 'just because it relaxes him too.' Combined with the random tickle fights, and how he makes a point to always go on little 'Adventures' like exploring the City, going out dancing, or rediscovering a game we both love, I'm a little surprised that I have been able to hold out for these past few months. But for every little bit that I come closer to just giving in, I remind myself that he doesn't really belong to me. With every kind touch I remind myself that he longs to have this with Allura. It breaks my heart a bit, but it does the trick.

Some days are tougher than others.

Today for instance, we are on our way to our only couple friends, Hunk and Shay. Hunk is actually another friend of ours from Arus who had also moved to the Capital around the same time Lance joined the Royal Guard. I had run into him about a month ago when I had been looking for parts at a market, and once he learned that Lance had not been mauled by Lions he immediately invited us to his diner, where I was introduced to his wife, Shay, and their two kids. Now, his diner is a frequent haunt for us.

Although, I adore Hunk and his family, going on outings with them presents a unique kind of complication. His children are still very young, so each time they are present, we have to play the Happy Couple, because explaining the truth would be too complicated. To make matters worse, the particular reason we are visiting is because we were invited to a picnic, which wouldn't be so bad in itself. However, not only will Hunks extended family be attending, who may or may not have been filled in about our situation, but also Shay's conservative Balmeran family, who don't understand Galra culture and are definitely not in the know, are going to be there too. It's one thing to trick a two and three year old that we're a normal couple, but how am I going to do that for at least 30 people of varying ages?

“You're overthinking again.” Lance tells me as he playfully bumps into my shoulder.

“I'm just trying to brace myself for what's to come.”

“You make it sound like we're going to war.”

“We might as well be. One wrong word and I shock, traumatize, or cause some other huge incident which will ruin the picnic, and Hunk and Shay worked so hard on it, I don't want to be the one that disappoints our friends, also...”

“Hey, hey! Look at me. It's going to be OK. You don't need to put on a production. So we're not a conventional couple, it's not like we've got a huge sign pointing that out. As long as we are comfortable around each other nobody is going to notice.”

“I guess you have a point, but it's not just about them.” I finally confess. “Your family is also going to be there. I haven't seen them since the wedding, and I was a bit dazed then. I just want to make a better impression, so they can be assured that you're fine, after everything you've been through...”

“Come on, Pidge. My week in holding is nothing compared to your years of separation from your family. Besides, my family have been bugging me for ages to bring you along. You don't need to impress them because they already love you.”

“It's just...” I can't tell him why this really is important. I've never confirmed Lance and princess Allura's relationship, partially because I didn't want to remind him of what he can't have anymore, and partially because I was afraid of his answer. I also don't know if his family was even aware of his affair with the princess. Regardless, I just want them to know that he is relatively happy again. I nervously play with my bracelet as these thoughts rush through my mind. Suddenly, Lance picks me up, so quickly that I almost drop the gift for Hunk that I was carrying. “Lance!”

“What? You're the one that wanted present us as a 'Happy Couple'.”

“Yes, 'Happy', not 'Obnoxious'. Put me down, this is embarrassing.” I hate the fact that this has my heart racing.

“I don't know, I'm kinda starting to like this. I've always wanted to pick you up, but was always afraid of you kicking my ass. I really wish I'd done this sooner, this is surprisingly fun.”

Quiznack, I can feel my face turning red. “Lance, I swear if you don't put me down now, I'm going to make you regret it.”

“Why are you so against this? If you think about it logistically, we're actually getting there faster because I don't have to pace myself so you can keep up.”

“Lance, if anybody sees me like this, I will hurt you!” I yell as I start hitting his chest.

“Are you still worried about impressing everybody at the Picnic?”He asks in between the odd wince.

“What? What does that have to do with anything?” For some reason my question makes him smirk as if I'd fallen for an elaborate prank. Wait.

“Well, based on that response, my work is done.” And with that he puts me back on the ground. I hate the fact that his dumb trick worked, and I really hate that I wish his hands had lingered a little longer on my waist. “And we're here. Hi Hunk!”

“Hey, Lovebirds! Glad you could make it here. But please, keep the PDA to a minimum. There are children present.” Of all people I least wanted to witness this, Hunk is on top of that list. Not because he'll give me crap about this, not because he's among the people who know of our circumstances, not even because he's one of the few people who know about my complicated feelings towards Lance. It's because he's convinced that my potential feelings aren't as one-sided as I know they are, and he takes every opportunity to try to prove this. So Lance carrying me around like a… for the lack of a better word, bride , is probably going to give him mileage for weeks to come. Well, not today. I march towards the picnic sight, only pausing to shove my gift at him. Before he can make another remark, I bee-line towards the refreshments table. With any luck I'll find something strong there to tide me over.

---

I should have figured that an event with 'children present', wouldn't have a beverage stronger than fruit punch. Luckily, Lance is right and most of the afternoon passes smoothly. Sure, I could do without Hunk's smug looks, but if that were enough to put me off, then we would never hang out. There are a few awkward lulls in conversation, when somebody from Lance's family will ask me how I'm holding up, or Shay's grandmother asks me how long we 'courted', but Lance is always there to back me up, so we are able to get past these hurdles as well.

Presently, anybody who had been curious about me has been satisfied and moved on to have other conversations. Lance is goofing off with all the kids, and I am content to watch him. If he doesn't get reassigned to the Royal Guard, then I hope he gets a position in Child Care. He's a natural with those ankle-biters. I doubt I could be that patient with them, no matter how cute they were. I wish… what's Hunk doing?

“Can I get everybody's attention for a bit?” He calls as he hits a fork against his cup. “I have a little announcement to make.”

Although his words seem innocuous, I know better than to underestimate him. I brace myself for his next words, in case this is another match-making scheme.

“Well, actually…” He beckons to Shay to come to him, and instantly wraps his arm around her when she reaches him, making her giggle. “We've got an announcement.”

OK, so maybe it's not as bad as I think. Shay is too much of a sweetheart to take part in anything too devious. But then again, I haven't known her that long.

“Alright so I would just like to say, thank you all for coming. I love you all, and I… we… do you want to tell them?”

“You were doing so well, you should proceed.”

“But, it's technically more about you than me.”

“We did this together.”

Yikes. It's times like this I'm glad my marriage is platonic. Lance, and everybody else for that matter, seem to be amused by these antics. I mean, I guess it's kinda sweet but it's not that entertaining. Clearly, I am missing something. I poke Lance in the ribs, and raise my brow at him. Luckily, he understands what I'm trying to ask.

“It's just they always do this, at this point it's a running gag.”

“That still leaves me wondering why.”

“Just wait for it.”

As if on cue, Hunk and Shay seem to have finally agreed to say whatever they are trying to say together. “We are having another baby!!!”

Oh.

Everybody breaks out in enthusiastic, but not really surprised, applause. Although this is my first time to witness, what is apparently a routine pregnancy announcement, I can't say that I'm surprised either that Hunk and Shay are the type of parents who would still be this excited with each new child. With Lance taking the lead, people start crowding towards them so they can congratulate them.

As I wait for my moment, I fall back into my new hobby of discreetly observing Lance. He remains beside the expecting couple as if this was his kid too, which in a way makes sense. He's already Mirax and Tui's Godfather, so it wouldn't surprise me if they already asked him to take that role a third time. However, as I watch him excitedly exchange small-talk with all the well-wishers, it suddenly hits me. He's not just good with children, he wants some of his own. I see the longing in his eyes as his smile seems to become impossibly wider. I sigh as I turn my face away, only for my eyes to fall on my bracelet. Brilliant, as if I didn't feel guilty enough. I make it a point to keep my arms behind my back as I keep waiting for the crowd to pass, but even like this, I can't quite stop fiddling with my bracelet.

After what seems like an eternity, I finally approach Hunk and Shay, and by extension, Lance. When I'm about seven paces away from them, they all turn to me with a gleeful look that immediately raises red flags. Unfortunately, it is too late for me to back away.

“Pidge! We've been wondering when you would get here. Hunk and Shay have something very important to ask you.” Lance enthuses.

“Oh, I was just trying to avoid the crowd. You know I like my space. So, uhh… what did you need?”

“I suppose you must have already assumed that we asked Lance to be this one's Godfather...” Shay begins in her uniquely Balmeran speech pattern.

“So, we were wondering how you would feel about being the kid's Godmother.” Hunk finishes.

“... Wait, you're serious?”

“Why would we be jesting?”

“I just… am not the best with kids.”

“Don't worry, I didn't think I would be that good when they had Mirax, but now I'm a natural. And if you need help with this Godparenting thing then I'll be right here.” Lance tries to console me. Somehow I doubt there was ever a time he wasn't a natural at this, seeing as he's been an Uncle since he was thirteen. I decide not to comment on this though.

“Are you sure you wouldn't rather ask someone else? Someone you've known longer?” I ask Shay.

“I may not have been acquainted with you for long, but for the short amount of time I have known you, I have found you to be a brilliant and thoughtful friend. I would be honored if you would accept this title.”

“I agree, there's nobody better I could think of for the job.” Hunk chimes in.

A large part of me wants to say no, it's bad enough trying to hold back my stupid feelings, while being in a platonic marriage, but additionally being pseudo-parents for a child together might wreak all kinds of havoc on my hormones. And yet, the three nicest people I know are asking me to do this. Hunk, annoying as he may be sometimes, is one of the best friends I've ever had, and Shay is such an angel, I could never deny her anything. But of course, Lance looking at me like I would be doing him a favor by co-Godparenting this unborn child is what ultimately does me in.

“I mean, if you insist. Don't say I didn't warn you if this kid becomes a hell-raiser.”

Their response is to envelope me in a group hug, which is par for the course with this group of people. Although I still have some apprehensions about this whole business, for the moment it doesn't seem too bad.

---

The weather was pleasant for most of the day, but now as Lance and I are heading back to our house, the sky is beginning to look a bit overcast. This doesn't seem to disturb Lance one bit, who still seems to be giddy from the whole baby business. It's always nice to see him like this.

“You know, If you'd have asked us about five years ago which one of us would have more kids by the time we hit our twenties, we both would have said, me. And yet, here we are.”

“Is this you bragging about your playboy past again?”

“No, smart-ass. This is me reminiscing about my youth.”

“Really, at the ripe old age of 19?”

“I'll be 20 in a few months.”

“That's not a great counterargument.”

“I'll show you a counterargument!” He says as he tries to noogie me. But I see him coming, and am able to dodge in the nick of time. This devolves into a chase-tickle fight and for a while I am content to remain in this blissful state. However, Lance doesn't seem to be done with the topic.

“Do you ever think about having children someday?” He asks with his arms casually embracing me from behind, walking as if he is unhindered by our position.

Now that's a minefield of a question, and we were having such a good time too. “I don't know. You know I'm more comfortable with my lab than people. I just think I'd be worried about seriously messing up.”

“You do fine with Hunk and Shay's kids.”

“Well yeah, but I'm not in charge of them 24/7. With my own kid, I'd be bound to screw up at some point.”

“I think you should give yourself more credit. You're pretty dedicated to family, I think our marriage can more than attest to that. That's a great foundation to have as a parent, in my opinion. I bet you'd be one of those fierce protective moms. Like a bear, or a lioness.”

“Too bad we'll never find out” slips out of my mouth. When Lance stops us in our tracks, I begin to realize that I messed up.

“I'm sorry. I didn't realize you already made up your mind.” He says apologetically. For some reason that infuriates me.

“What do you have to be sorry for? Shouldn't you be happy that I'm not taking this from you too?”

“What's that supposed to mean?”

I really should stop right here, but now that I've gotten started I can't seem to curb my words anymore.

“Isn't it obvious? I'm a living reminder of all the things you can't have anymore. The last thing you should want is more living shackles.” I snap as I shake out of his embrace.

“Again, where is this coming from? Where do you get off deciding how I feel about you? You make it sound like I resent you!”

“Well, don't you? Sure, you weren't mauled by a lion, but your married to somebody other than the woman you love, and isn't that a special kind of torture?”

“I...! That's not relevant!”

“How could it not be relevant?! You told me you were sentenced because you loved the wrong person. Do you really think I wouldn't figure out who you were talking about!”

“Pidge, it's not what you think!”

“Stop lying to me! I'm not your real wife, I'm just a live-in Prison Warden, you don't have to spare my feelings!!!”

“I'm not lying to you, you just don't have all the facts!!!”

“Then enlighten me, Serrano?! What critical information am I missing?!”

As if the weather could sense my mood, a bolt of lightning strikes across the sky, and it begins to rain heavily. “Come on, let's get back to the house” Lance says somberly.

“Aren't you going to answer my question?” I retort, even as I'm shivering.

“Look, I'll tell you anything you want to hear as soon as we're indoors. Because I don't know about you, but I'd prefer if my gravestone didn't say 'killed by a bolt of lightning in the middle of an altercation with wife.'”

Right on cue, another bolt of lightning strikes, a little closer this time. I suppose he does have a point. I still make it a point not to talk to him as we rush back.

It's surprisingly difficult to hold on to your ire when your cold and drenched. But I've always been special like that. Lance, though, seems to have mellowed out in the way he worriedly puts his hands on my cheeks.

“Your freezing! I'll grab some towels and dry clothes. Why don't you get the fire started? You should probably have a hot bath too.”

The thought that he needs the hot bath as much as I do, or that he's still not answering my question crosses my mind, but I don't mention either, because the fact that he's showing this much concern for me when we are technically still fighting irritates me more. I silently head to the fireplace without acknowledging him. I know it doesn't make sense, but I want him to be angry too before I can talk to him again. It doesn't feel right that I'm the only one who feels like this. As I'm about light the first log, Lance taps me on the shoulder.

“Here, bundle yourself in this until I'm back. The sooner your out of those wet clothes, the better.” He says as he hands me my favorite comforter from the couch. Only once I take it in my hand does he finally leave. I'm almost tempted to remain in my wet clothes out of spite, but another shiver makes me think better of it. Once I have got the fire going I take off everything apart from my bracelet. It's irrational, which seems to be the trend at the moment, but even as incensed as I am, I can't bear to take it off. I haven't since he gave it to me.

I'm bundled up in the comforter, slowly regaining my warmth, when he returns with towels and dry clothes. He drops a towel on my head, and starts drying his own hair, seemingly already having changed clothes. After securing the comforter under my arms, I start to dry my own hair. At this point a normal person would just calm down, but we have already established that I'm a special kind of petty, so I deliberately begin doing the most inefficient job off toweling my scalp. This, of all things, seems to be the thing that finally annoys him, as he huffs and drops in front of me to vigorously take over.

I feel victorious for all of ten seconds until I realize that we are in ridiculously close proximity and I am, for all intents and purposes, naked. Lance seems to realize how unexpectedly intimate this moment is seconds later as he suddenly stops. I can't decipher what his facial expression is saying when I am finally brave enough to look up at him, so I am really caught by surprise at his next action.

He's… he's… kissing me. And it is unlike any other kiss we ever shared before. It isn't the awkward kiss from our wedding, or the quick, almost clinical pecks. This is more like the kisses the Ladies used to giggle about at the Dorm. It makes me wonder what I had been doing all this time when I could have been doing this. The kind that almost makes me whimper when he finally pulls away. At some point my eyes must have closed as I am a bit confused for a second when I can't see anything. However, what I do see makes me panic. I may have not been able to predict what he was going to do a minute ago, but this time it's all too clear. And right now, an apology is the last thing that I want. So I reach up before he can say anything and kiss him again, dropping the comforter in the process. Yesterday, or maybe even five minutes ago, I would have screamed at myself about what a bad idea this is, but right now I couldn't care less. Maybe it's because of my inexperience, but I have this desperate need to have him be in the same state of undress as me. The change of clothes will remain untouched tonight.

---

The feeling of Lance's fingers drawing patterns on my thigh wakes me. It feels nice, but now that I am not caught up in the haze of last night anymore, my ability to think rationally has returned. Although my body would love nothing more than to drag him on top of me again, I have to put a stop to this trajectory before it gets even more complicated.

“Lance...” Woah, that sounded a lot more seductive than I wanted.

“What do you need, Querida ?” He whispers as his hand moves up to my stomach. Maybe having this conversation as he's spooning me might not be the most productive strategy. I turn to face him, and am a little confused by his expression. Sure he sounded satisfied, but I thought that was just an involuntary physical reaction. Yet, he looks like he's eager to repeat our last activity, which makes absolutely no sense. I remember what Allura looked like, and I have no doubt in my mind that their relationship was physical. Even memories of being with her must be more appealing than fumbling around with a plain looking virgin like me. OK, as of now I can't really say I'm a virgin anymore, but my point still stands. I'm getting distracted, and if Lance's fingers moving on my back are any indication, so is he.

I clear my throat before I try talking again. “I think we need to talk about what happened.”

“Oh yeah?” He answers dreamily.

I take a deep breath. “I mean the fight.”

“Ahh.” That seems to sober him up. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to avoid...”

“It's alright” I interrupt him.

“Are you sure?” He asks as he sits up “I didn't mean to keep my past a secret, it's just not entirely my story to tell...”

“Yeah, it's fine,” I say as I also sit up, careful to keep myself as covered as possible. “It's your decision on what you want to share with me, and I can understand you not wanting me in particular to know about something so private.”

“OK, I feel like I'm the one out of the loop now. What do you mean by that? Is this about how you called yourself my, what was it, 'live-in Prison Warden'? What is that all about?”

“Oh.” Strange, it never occurred to me that he wasn't aware of my real purpose. I suppose that's part of the design of this sentence. “I guess what they teach at the Dormitory is not as common as I thought. The point is, they’re not just instructing us on how to be good wives, with the standard cooking, hosting, and child-rearing lectures. We are also told, or borderline brainwashed, into learning how to bring our 'husbands' defenses down, in order to find out if they are intent on some kind of criminal activity. Ladies that turn in their husbands are rewarded much more than those who keep them upstanding. I'm pretty sure this was mentioned in our wedding vows, you should be aware of this.”

“Honestly that entire ceremony is a blur to me. I'll admit it sounds somewhat familiar, but I thought that was just ceremonial.” He self-consciously scratches the back of his head. Quiznack, why is he so endearing?

I sigh. “Look, I was being unfair to you then. Clearly, we had a different perspective of our relationship, and I wasn't honest about how I felt about your past, and my lack of knowledge. But you don't have to feel like you have to tell me. You've been nothing but kind to me all this time and you don't owe me anything.”

“I beg to differ, I literally owe you my life. If there is anything you want to know, all you have to do is ask.”

I am tempted to take him up on his offer, but I am still afraid of hearing the answer. “I'll wait until you're ready to tell me.”

He lets out a huge breath as he lies back. “I'm going to warn you now, that might take some time. There are some details I'm still trying to process myself, but I promise I will tell you everything.” The look in his eyes is incredibly sincere. “But I'll tell you right now, it's not as sordid as you probably think it is. I was essentially a glorified errand boy.” He stretches out his arms as he says this, which is insanely distracting. I shake my head and brace myself for the next part of our conversation. Sure, it's been going well until now, but it's bound to get somewhat awkward now that I'm actually addressing the other thing that happened.

“So, we should probably also discuss our… uh… tryst last night.”

This makes Lance overly alert again, and it's all I can do not just jump him myself. “That sounds reasonable.” He quips as he sits up again and tries to get as close as possible.

“I don't think it should happen again.”

“Oh...” He visibly deflates. “I must have really hurt you.”

Are you kidding me? How could he be this precious? “I mean at least for now. We clearly still have mixed feelings about each other, so we should probably hold off on a physical relationship until we have a better handle on things, right?” I add on. It feels a bit manipulative to imply that we might have a physical relationship again in the near future, but I just can't help myself. It kills me to seem him look so guilty.

“I guess that makes sense.” He says despondently, but at the very least he doesn't look as upset as he did earlier. “I wouldn't want to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. You mean a lot to me, Katie Holt.”

I am probably going to regret this, but the thought of him thinking that he makes me even remotely uncomfortable is killing me. “I wouldn't say you made me uncomfortable, it was just surprising. But it was not a bad kind of surprising.”

“I don't mind waiting. But I'll admit, it's going to be hard to think of anything else for a long time.”

“Is there anything I can do to make things easier?” So much for being rational. I can't even pretend I'm not doing this deliberately.

“Could I kiss you again?” We can both tell that it won't stop at just a kiss, but I can't stop my head from nodding. Post-coital euphoria is no joke. The kiss we share makes my entire body tingle, and as I suspected, it didn't stop at just my lips. He kisses my cheek, my neck, and basically the entire area between my shoulders, and I do nothing to stop him. In fact, I eagerly shed my covering as he pulls me towards him. After all the times we did it last night, what's one more bout going to change? We can always start abstaining afterwards.

---

We wound up doing it four more times that day, five if you count us fooling around in the bath. And then a few more times the next day, and the next, and the next. At this point I've stopped telling myself that it would be the last time with every new instance. Those Dayaks really undersold how addicting sex is. However, the most surprising thing is how easily this new aspect fits into our routine. I still work on my projects, Lance still gardens, we go on little adventures, and hang out with our friends and he still does things ‘Just Because'. The only difference is that our physical interactions have had an upgrade. Hand-holding has become wrapping our arms around each other's shoulders, or waist in my case. Our chaste pecks have become toe-curling kisses. Caressing my hair is basically foreplay, and my morning forehead kisses are now naked cuddles.

I'm afraid we have become that couple, and yes, Hunk gives me grief about it. However, I can't bring myself to say that I don't like this development. Sure, my old concerns haven't completely disappeared, but this isn't really compromising my determination not to fall in love with Lance. After all, the new physical aspect to our relationship is just that - physical. We're both young and have needs, plus whenever we're together like that it relieves a huge amount of stress. Things like the nature of Lance's feelings for the princess, or the fact that we were essentially married under duress don't seem to matter when we're writhing naked in bed.

And the quiet moments are pretty blissful too. Like the one we are having right now. I am lying on top of him, my favorite place to lounge actually, just enjoying our after-sex haze, and Lance seems to be fascinated with my bracelet today. I for the life of me can't fathom why as he was the one who made it, but he can't seem to stop fiddling with it. It's a simple thing, a blue and a green wire entwined with a steel medallion attached. However, I love it. Even if whatever we had right now came to an end, I don't think I could bring myself to part with it no matter how painful it was.

“So, you really don't ever take it off? Not even when you shower?”

“Yeah, you might not have been aware of it, but you actually picked the perfect materials to make this with. You see, Olkari tech is made to interface with nature, so among other things it is waterproof. And the steel you chose is actually Taujeerian Steel, which is made to withstand the most harrowing environments, and basically never rusts.”

“Huh. I was just thinking it looked pretty together, and that you would like it because it’s techy.”

“I mean you’re not wrong” I shrug. “It also reminds me of you, so each time I look at it I can't help but smile.”

“Aww!” he says as he kisses my wrist, inexplicably making me giggle.

“I'm sorry I didn't get you anything. The gift giving aspect wasn't really focused upon in my lectures at the Dormitory, I was completely unprepared to give you a gift in return.”

“You know, Pigeon, at some point you will have to stop blaming everything on the Dormitory, and take responsibility for your actions. I'm a sensitive man, I can only take so much.” He over-dramatically covers his eyes with his right arm as he says this, milking this shtick for all it's worth.

“Alright, sensitive man” I say as push myself off his chest “I'll let you throw your pity party, but I would like to take a hot shower, so I'm going to go do that now.” I actually strut out of our room. I don't think I've ever strutted before, especially not in the nude. It seems to have made an impression on Lance too, because he suddenly seems to be less upset about the fact that I haven't gotten him a gift and follows me into the bathroom. However, that fact lingers with me to the point that I can't focus on my projects. So I do the logical thing and turn that into my new project. I start the first phase at lunch.

“Hey, I got inspired for a new project and I need to get some new material. Do you want to help out?”

Risky move, but I do need some material for other projects, and it's not unusual for me to ask him to accompany me either. He might not be tech savvy, but he likes shopping and is better at haggling than I am so he's actually very useful. I'm sure he won't get suspicious if I sneak off to purchase a bit of Snick Leather.

“Sure, you don't even need to ask. You wanna go today?”

“For the most part. There is some stuff you can't find here, so I was thinking of taking a weekend trip to Arus. I wish I didn't have to travel so far for those items, but it should be exciting to see our old neighborhood again. We could even visit the beach for a bit.”

“Ah! I'd love to, but I already promised to babysit for Hunk and Shay. They are going on their Anniversary vacation, remember?”

“Oh yeah, that totally escaped my mind.” I was completely aware of it. “That's too bad, it would have been fun to go with you… I know! I'll go with Matt. It's been a while since we hung out.” Basically since I started sleeping with Lance, but I'm sure there's no correlation.

“That's a great idea! But I really wish I could go with you. Are you sure you can't postpone your trip to next weekend?”

“The materials I'm looking for are pretty rare, if I go later I might not be able to get everything I need.”

“Fair enough.”

“Plus, we've been doing almost everything together since the wedding. Some space will do us good. Not to mention what we can do when I return.” I gently place my hand on his thigh, and give him my most innocent look. A winning combination, that I've only discovered recently. He doesn't have a chance.

“A-as long as you don't miss me too much.” he manages to pant out. Score.

---

Acquiring the Snick Leather was effortless. Not only did I get it without Lance getting any wiser, but I got it at a pretty good price too. Despite its durability, it's not the most popular material as it is not too attractive. Works for me. Things become dicey on the weekend trip. Not because Lance got suspicious, at least I don't think he did, but because Matt happened to catch us in very intense goodbye kiss. I'm actually surprised he didn't comment on it until we got to the beach.

“Are you still convinced your feelings are one sided?”

“Just because we're having sex doesn't mean that we're in love.”

“Uh, you're married, so it's not just sex. Besides, all I knew up till now, is that you enjoy heavy makeouts. It's curious that you would bring up sex in the first place.”

“First of all, we were forced into getting married so it doesn't count. Also, I thought you were the older sibling. You should know that things are never that cut and dry.”

“Oh yeah? Then what are we doing here?”

“What do you mean now?”

“I mean, we’re hunting for sea glass for a sentimental gift. That doesn't sound like prototypical friends-with-benefits behavior.”

“He already gave me a gift, it would be rude not to give one back in return.”

“And that's another thing!” He emphasizes as he grabs my right arm. “Don't you think this bracelet is a very romantic gesture? I mean he made it of materials you like working with, and he even had the medallion engraved with… S.H? I don't get it?”

“It's my name, genius.”

“Really? Because last I checked, neither Katie nor Pidge started with an 'S'... Wait, is Lance in love with Dad?”

“No, doofus. It's my legal name. He wanted to do my initials originally, but there was only enough space for two letters. He couldn't decide between K.H or P.H, so went with S.H, for Serrano-Holt… Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Why didn't you tell me this before?”

“You never asked. I still don't see why that's making you look so giddy.”

“It's because he's staking his claim.”

“No, he's not!”

“But he totally is! Fact the first, he gave you a gift. But not just any gift, a self-made gift, so it is unique, and the connection with him is undeniable.”

“Matt...”

“Fact the second! He gave it to you spontaneously, not because of an anniversary, birthday, or romantic holiday, simply to please you.”

“Your wrong on that part, it was a late wedding gift.”

“Oh, you mean a gift for a government imposed ceremony where such sentimental gestures are not only not required, but are not expected whatsoever?”

“...”

“That's what I thought. Getting to the final fact, he literally put his name on it. If that isn't a classic display of primal ownership, I don't know what is.”

“You're reading too much into this, he gave this to me way before we… became this intimate.”

“Aww, look who's feeling bashful now” he mocks me. I punch him in the arm for his troubles. “But this just builds my case for me. This way you can't write this off as him rewarding you for keeping his endorphins active. He just, possibly on just a subconscious level, wanted to signal that you're taken.”

His arguments are actually compelling, but I don't want to admit it. I go back to searching for the perfect piece of sea glass.

“So do you admit defeat?”

“I think it's pointless to speculate about his feelings, when I could just ask him.”

“So are you going to?”

“No, and do you know why? Because I don't care.” Matt shrugs, but doesn't look convinced. I ignore him, and focus on my search. It takes a bit of time, but I eventually find the perfect one. It's shaped like a drop, almost as blue as Lance's eyes, but it also has some flecks of green, that give it an oceanic look. I grab a few more as backup. Luckily, Matt seems to be satisfied with all the comments he made about my relationship, as he doesn't make any more remarks about it as we head to the Artisan. In fact, the rest of the trip goes much more smoothly. The Artisan, an old friend of Matt's named Nyma, is patient with me and I only destroy two of my backup glass pieces as I drill holes into them. She even helps me treat the Snick Leather, although not without scoffing.

“It's just such an ugly red.” She mutters. I don't argue with her, because I’m not in the mood to get into the cliche ‘Style vs. Function’ debate. Also, she's not forcing me to pick another material, so I don't really care what she says. After all, it's not for her.

“Do you want it reinforced?” She asks as I am about to attach the sea glass to the leather strip.

“What, the leather?”

“No, the only thing the Snick Leather needs is a dye job, which is impossible, because it's the leather from hell. I was actually talking about the sea glass. Based on your choice of leathers, you're hoping to make this trinket last for years. Well if you use this glass in its current state, it will last a week. A month if you're extra careful. However, there is a firing process that can make it nigh invulnerable. You know, if it doesn't burst from the pressure. But hey, that's what you have back-ups for.”

“Sounds good, let's do it.”

“Yeah, actually it's an eight hour process. And we only have the one oven, which won't be available for the weekend. But I still highly recommend that you take the extra wait time to have it done. I'll just have to mail it to you.”

“OK, do you have a piece of paper somewhere?”

I write down my address, and then I head out to meet Matt at the place we're lodging. I'm a little disappointed that I can't have the final touch on the necklace, but I did do most of the work, so I am quite content with that. Maybe it's Matt's theory, Hunk's past teasing, my own secret hopes swirling around in my head, or just the simple fact it now feels weird to sleep without Lance's body heat surrounding me, but that night I find myself having a hard time falling asleep.

---

I did not actually expect to find the sea glass so soon, so we're heading back a day early. I just said goodbye to Matt and am heading to Hunk and Shay's place, where I expect Lance to still be. I see the kids playing in the garden as I approach. Hopefully, they're in a compliant mood.

“Hey guys!” I wave at them in what I hope comes across as friendly. Tui waves back, Mirax just glares. Oh goody, this is going to be fun. “Do you know where Uncle Lance is?”

“Yeah! He is...” Tui starts before he is interrupted by his sister

“Don't tell her.”

“Why not?”

“Because...” she looks at me smugly now “she is a stranger.”

I'm a what now?

“I'm not a stranger Mirax. I'm Uncle Lance's wife, remember?”

“Then why didn't you have a wedding?”

“We did have one, you just weren't there.”

“Why weren't we there?”

Geez, how do I say “because your parents didn't think a potential public execution was their idea of a fun family activity” without scaring her?

“It was a secret wedding. In fact, it was so secret, we didn't even know it was going to happen until it did.”

“That's not how weddings work!” She protests.

Wow, was I this opinionated as a three year old? I look to Tui in the vain hopes that he could help me, but all he does is shrug. Brilliant, I guess I'll have to use my secret weapon.

“Well I guess if I'm a stranger I'll have to eat these peanut butter cookies by myself” I say as I grab the packet of cookies from my satchel. This suddenly gets their attention. “Oh, yeah. I was going to share these with my good friends Mirax and Tui. But if you say I'm a stranger, then I guess I can't share them after all. Too bad. I was really, really looking forward to sharing with my friends but I guess I have no choice. Aaaa!” I take an exaggerated bite of the cookie. “No choice at all.”

Tui gives his sister a distressed look. Mirax looks like she's weighing up if her principles or a cookie have priority. In the end cookies win, naturally, because as much as she hates the fact that I take Uncle Lance's attention away from her, she is in fact only three. After two cookies, she is willing to talk.

“Uncle Lance is inside talking with his friend from the Castle. They have been in there forever, even though he promised to spend the weekend with us. And now you're going to take him away too.”

Friend from the Castle? Does she mean somebody from the Royal Guard? Or perhaps it's our case-worker. Is Lance finally going to be reassigned?

“I wasn't going to take Uncle Lance away. I just got back early and I wanted to say hi. I'll go check what's taking him so long, OK?”

“OK.” Mirax nods her agreement. I head for the front door and try my best to sneak insides in the hopes of surprising him. Instead I am startled when I discover that the 'Friend from the Castle' was none other than Princess Allura.

---

It's been a week, and I still can't get the image out of my mind. They were hugging, and I think I saw tears in the princess' eyes. I'm not proud of my decision to flee, but I had been so overwhelmed with emotions that I was afraid of what I would do. A part of me hopes this is a misunderstanding, but I don't feel so optimistic about that. Lance insisted that there was no relationship between him and Allura, but perhaps he just wasn't aware of how she felt about him. The fact that she went so far as to find out which door I would be behind, coupled with how sad she was that day, clearly indicates that she has some regard for him. I want to scream and beg simultaneously, anything to make him experience the fraction of the turmoil I am going through. But I know the moment I do that, I will put an end to what we have, and as miserable as I am, I can't quite bring myself to do that. So, I'll just wait until he finally calls it quits, no matter how long it takes.

I can't bear to be intimate with him anymore. Not now that I've finally stopped lying to myself. There's nothing like seeing your husband embracing another woman to make you admit that you're in love with him, am I right? Lance never questioned me about my sudden reluctance, but I can see that he's confused. It almost makes me want to just confess everything, but I'm afraid of what the outcome to that will be. No, I just want to savour what little time I have left. I know my actions might not reflect it, but even like this I still cherish his presence, and I don't want to be the one that pushes him away.

In other news, the gift arrived yesterday. I contemplated throwing it out the whole day, but for the same reason I still haven't taken my bracelet off, I couldn't bring myself to get rid of it. It was a labor of love, and even if he doesn't return my feelings, I would like to give it to him some day. Perhaps as a farewell present.

“Pidge, I think we should talk.” Oh. I somehow thought I would have more time. “I might be the one overthinking things for once, but I feel like there is something off between us, and I don't know how to fix it. So if I upset you somehow then please, just tell me what I can do to make things right?”

Here goes nothing.

“... I love you, Lance.” His eyes practically pop out. “And before you say anything, I need to get a few more things of my chest, so please let me just say it all first.” He was already in the midst of saying something, but instead he shuts his mouth and nods. I take a deep breath. “I know about you and Allura. Or at the very least, I think I do. I am aware she acquired confidential information just so she could help you choose the right door. I know this because she told me as much at the wedding. I know that she played a central part in you being convicted. I also saw her hugging you with tears in her eyes.

So, I've come to a decision. I appreciate everything you have done on my behalf. However, I want you to think about yourself now. The woman you loved returns your feelings, at least to some degree. So if you think there's a chance you can be together, then I want to support you. I know it will hurt, but don't worry about me. You're my first love, so heartbreak was inevitable. And I know it will be complicated, what with us being married, and Lotor being ridiculously possessive of Allura, but I'm sure we'll work something out so...” I need to grab the gift “... that's the gist of it.” I head towards our room but am not able to take any more than two steps before Lance picks me up and begins showering my face with kisses. Three on my forehead, five on my left cheek, eight on my right, two on each eyelid, and countless ones on my temples. What is going on?

“I'm so sorry” Huh? “I'm sorry, I love you too. So much, you have no idea. And is it OK if I talk now? Quiznack, I should have told you everything ages ago. True, I didn't have all the facts until recently, but I should have told you what little I know. I can't believe I left you to worry about whether I was hung up on somebody else. Can you ever forgive me?”

I am honestly too dazed to move. He carries me to the living room, where he sits down on his favorite spot and makes it a point not to let me leave his lap. He puts his forehead against mine, takes a deep breath, and begins his story.

---

I was 18 and had just been inducted officially into the Royal Guard. That very year, Princess Allura of Altea arrived for what was officially a diplomatic mission, but that everybody knew was ploy to create an alliance via marriage between her and Lotor. I think pretty much everybody who didn't already have a significant other was a little bit in love with her. A princess is basically every soldier's fantasy, and it didn't hurt that she was stunning to look at. And you know me, even back in Arus I was always full of bluster. I kept on bragging about the fact that the princess was going to fall hopelessly in love with me, it was just a matter of time, despite never having talked to her.

One day, one of my fellow soldiers—I think it might have been Griffin, it could have been Kinkade—dared me to actually do something about it if I was so confident. So I did… by writing love poems. Please don't ask me to recite any, just thinking about them makes me wince. Anyway, I would basically compose these atrocious poems and then hand them over to Allura's handmaiden—Romelle. You remember her, right?—in the hopes that she would deliver them. For a while, nothing happened, but one day Romelle actually returned with a response from the princess. She also had a note, which was apparently from her to 'the handsome broody one.' I knew right away she must be talking about Keith. The letter I got was a polite refusal, and I never did find out what was in Keith's note because right after he read it he kissed it and then burned it. I thought that was odd, but I generally thought that he was an odd person, so I shrugged it off.

For a few months, this was the pattern. I would send a sub-par poem, Romelle would deliver a polite rejection letter from the princess, and a personal note for Keith. I would deliberately misconstrue my message, Keith would kiss his note and burn it, I’d wait a week, we’d restart the cycle. It was as routine as marching. And then the messages stopped. Even I could recognize that as a dismissal, and although I was upset for a bit, I got over it. At the very least I took comfort in the fact that Keith seemed to have been dumped by Romelle too. And hey, being dumped by a handmaiden has got to be more embarrassing than being dumped by a princess. When I reached out to him, in the hopes of having someone to commiserate with, he told me that they had moved, 'beyond the letter writing stage'. You bet that annoyed me like nothing else.

However, I started to become curious. Keith and I shared the same quarters, so I always noticed when he sneaked in and out. I started to notice that every-time he returned he actually looked happy, which if you knew Keith you would know is super rare. The fact that his relationship could change his attitude this drastically was nothing short of miraculous to me. So one day I asked him 'What's it like to be in love?' He was hesitant to answer me at first, but when I confessed that I am not sure I really know what it feels like, after some deliberation he basically recited this huge monologue about love from scratch. I think, to this day that's the most I heard him speak, and I wish I could remember everything, but I think it boiled down to 'loving someone is finding wonder in the small things and uninhibitedly facing the big things.' Not only did he give me a new understanding of love, but I realized, that I might have been writing him off too harshly. So, I offered to be an open ear if he ever wanted to gush about his lady friend. I was actually surprised when he actually took me up on that offer.

And so our friendship began. At first it was just him talking about Romelle—and perhaps I should have taken more note about the fact that he never referred to her by name. She, her, or occasionally 'My love', but never Romelle—but soon he talked about other topics. Like the fact that his mother is actually a member of the Galra Splinter Group who oppose the Emperor, and how he never understood how chants work. He even showed me some of his personal treasures.

Things were like this until maybe a week before our wedding. That day, Lotor stormed into our barracks, demanding that we report to him immediately. When we all had gathered, he held up a standard Royal Guard helmet and raged about the fact that somebody in our company had “soiled Princess Allura” and if we don't give the culprit up in five minutes he was going to make us all regret it. I, of course, had instantly realized who the helmet belonged to. Keith. I didn't have all the facts, but some things were suddenly clicking in my mind. The princess putting effort into composing responses to my stupid poems, Keith burning his letters, the fact that he never called Romelle by her name. Keith had never been in a relationship with Romelle, it had always been Allura. And I had been nothing but a smokescreen. I honestly felt a little betrayed, but I couldn't say I blame him. However, maybe because now I was invested in our friendship, maybe because I felt it was unfair that their love was going to be torn apart because of politics of all things, I claimed the helmet as mine. When people started doubting my claim, I told them I had been exchanging letters with Allura, and they could check my belongings for them. And, before I knew it, I was locked in a cell, condemned to the Lady or Lion Sentence.

Keith came by once, offered to tell the truth, told me he was sorry this was happening, that I shouldn't even be doing this because my family and friends would be devastated. All I asked him to do was to apologize to Allura for the garbage poetry. I was afraid, but willing to die for a noble cause. Perhaps in the future someone would write a ballad about me. But instead of getting mauled by a Lion, I got you.

---

“Wonderful, breathtaking you” he whispers as he pulls me closer to him. “I couldn't believe that I had not only survived, but become reconnected to one of my dearest friends. At first, I was just trying to cheer you up, because there was this melancholy that seemed to hang over you like a cloud. And then there was this one time I managed to make you laugh, and I remember thinking ‘Wow, there she is.' I think that must have been when I started to love you, because from that day, making you happy was the only thing that gave me joy. I like being around you, listening to you gush about your projects, watching your eyes light up when you found the perfect material for your inventions, and even when you're making fun of me. I couldn't get enough of you, and I honestly hadn't spared a thought towards Allura until that day we had that big fight.”

He sighs as he stroked my hair. “I should have told you about everything right then. I still don't know why I didn't. I guess I was embarrassed about my behavior, and perhaps I was afraid that you wouldn't like me anymore, or that you would misunderstand. And then when we had sex, I just got caught up with you in a completely different way. It is during this time I should have told you that I loved you, repeatedly. Even if you didn't believe me, at least you would know what's on my mind.” He leans back to take a look at me and gasps “Pidge, Katie, please don't cry. I can't handle that.”

“It's OK, Lance.” I manage to rasp out. “I'm just a little overwhelmed. Please, keep going.”

“OK, so when Allura came by, it was because Keith and her had decided to run away together and she wanted to check up on me, say goodbye, and give me an explanation and apology.”

“So, what did she tell you?”

“Uhm, turns out Keith was also a member of this Splinter Group like his mother. He was tasked with protecting the Princess as some Galra officials were against an alliance with Altea and they were willing to assassinate her to further their goals. Keith saved her from a few of these assassins, and once the sources were rooted out and dealt with, he was technically supposed to disappear and return to his headquarters. But he didn't do it. At that point he had fallen in love with Allura, and as it turned out, she had fallen for him as well. It was around then that the whole letter business started.”

“That's… quite dramatic.”

“I know!” he laughs, but suddenly becomes serious again. “Pidge, I really screwed up. I caused you so much pain and distress when that's the last thing I ever wanted for you. If you give me another chance, I will do whatever it takes to make it up to you and try my best to never let anything like this happen again. So… what do you say?”

A million arguments flood my mind, but they seem to be dashed by some aspect of his confession. After some thought I finally said. “You're really going to do whatever it takes?”

“Yes, mi Reina , anything.”

“So, you'll do anything I ask?”

“As long as I don't get hurt, yes.”

“... Say it again.”

“Say what again?”

“That you love me.”

I don't know if I have ever seen him smile more beautifully than he is smiling now. “I love you.” He says as he caresses my cheek. “I love you, Pidge.” He strokes my hair. “I love you, Katie.” He kisses my nose. “I love you, Katie Holt.” A kiss to my neck that makes me sigh. “I love you, Pidge Holt.” One of his hands go under my shirt. “I love you, Katie Pidge Holt.” He finally kisses my lips. “I love you so much, Katie Pidge Serrano-Holt, it scares me sometimes.” He's got me wrapped up in his arms. He's about to say it again, when I interrupt him by kissing his clavicle. “I love you too, Lance Serrano. Despite my hesitation.”

And then it devolves into a game. An 'I love you' plus an intimate act, back and forth, gradually escalating. We wind up in our room, divested of our clothes and excited to make love to each other. It's a little different from how it used to be, less frantic, more drawn out. It's less about pleasuring our bodies and more about demonstrating how we feel for each other. We go on like this until we run out of steam, which happens to be towards the dawn.

Surprisingly, I wake up again in an hour, afraid that everything was a dream that came about from my yearning. And that is when I hear him whisper 'I love you, Katie' in his sleep, confirming that it had all been reality. I think I could die here and I would be content. I am overcome with a desire to kiss him all over his beautiful face, but first, I grab his gift from its hiding place. I give in to my earlier desire, and before long, he is kissing me back.

“What did I do to earn such a pleasant wake-up call?”

“I kinda need you to do something for me.”

He sighs. “Sure, what do you need?”

“Could you close your eyes and sit up.”

“Uh, OK?” Have I ever mentioned how adorable, sleepy, confused Lance is? When he complies with my request I take the necklace out of the box, and put it over his neck. I smile when I realize that my ideal sea glass made it through the reinforcing process.

“OK, you can open your eyes now.”

“Can I also lie back down?”

“If you prefer.” He drops back onto the bed, and slowly flutters his eyes open. In his sleepy state, it takes him a little to process that he has a necklace on now.

“Wait, did you...?”

“Yes.”

“For me?”

“Yes, do you like it?”

“Of course I do, but why? It's not going to be my birthday for another two months.”

I shrug, before lying on top of him and kissing him again.

“Just Because.”

#Lady or the Tiger AU #Pining #Misunderstanding #plance #Plance Minibang 2019 #Why do I always write stories where Pidge is in denial?#Future edits to be made for both this and the Ao3 version

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