#go back through the blog to find the post bc I'm too tired to-

[hunterwritesstuff]

Just don’t get it. Sorry, is there anyone I could ask for the reason?

The pal who was mentioned on the post of Betty's relationships-

#hunter screams #not writing #I suck with @ing people- #go back through the blog to find the post bc I'm too tired to-

[vole-mon-amour]

2x04 (sorry for no cut but i need to be able to see the entire post on my blog for certain reasons)

That's my kind of gal.

Why is Nikolai being called Sobachka aka a doggy?

THEY'RE DOING IT???? AHHHH!!! I dislike how they're rushing through CK, but god, it's one of the greatest moments in the book! This makes me smile.

"To all of that", including "Yes, I can't do this without you." That's why I ship them. Jesper is so easygoing. He UNDERSTANDS Kaz. What they share is so special. Jesper wouldn't mind big words, but he'll do just fine without them. I can't stress enough how much he loves him & how it's mutual.

The fact that Jesper fucked up the entire thing in the book, and Kaz didn't say him a word until his patience reached it's absolute limit. Even the physical fight they had in Ck until Colm stopped them. How they brushed it off and continued with their lives, their plan, their relationship.

I just love them SO much. I wouldn't change these two for any other ship in this universe. If I was asked to choose just one ship, they'd be the one.

"Among them, it passed for good luck." <3

NINA. LMAOOO. Honestly, only she can do that. Which is a bit brutal, but also... She knows her worth and he allows her. But also, that woman is loyal and smart. They'll get there eventually.

I really like the scene where David explains to Alina how it all happened. What Darkling has now and how dangerous it is. As it turns out, I just dislike him near Darkling, but overall he seems to be an alright kind of guy.

Me: This is my fav character. Also me: Aww, poor baby suffering. He looks so good while at it.

To be fair, I do have a 'I love me some traumatized characters' tag, after all.

You already did, asshole. Honestly, the fact that he doesn't remember, just like in the book. I can't wait for Kaz's revenge. Get him, my love.

Which also teaches you what? Never trust Pekka fucking Rollins. He'll destroy you and have no regret whatsoever.

(whispers) he's so hot while he's at it. It's so much easier watching the show knowing the books, bc otherwise i'd completely lose my mind over this.

I love him, your honor. The flashback fits so well. The revenge is so sweet when boiling like that. I'm gonna enjoy Rollins' fall.

My booy. <3

"The trick is not to love anything." Because Pekka Rollins once killed what Kaz loved the most. His brother. Yeeeah.

"You'll never find your son in time." I'm a bit disappointed. They wasted the masquerade, the pushed this iconic line from near the end of CK in the middle of the season. What are they doing?

That iconic line, though:

"I want you to remember."

I also find this as a very interesting choice. In the book Inej witnessed Kaz saying that. In here it's Nina and Jesper, which also gives them an understanding of what's going on and what Kaz Brekker really is. I can't say I can complain. It's a smart move. And they nailed this. Even though too early, they nailed this.

I know Kaz wouldn't appreciate a hug, so I'd like to sit next to him and be there for him. And this is the scene that made me want to cry. Oh, Kaz. I love him with all my heart. What a character.

That smile. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. ;_; Yeah, crying now. Also, the fact that Nina looks back at Jesper, asking if it's the right time and Jesper shakes his head. I'm not tired to say that Jesper knows him.

;______; I'm giving this episode 10/10 just for this entire scene. Losing it, besties.

I'm gonna need so many fics after this episode. Fics that address Jesper's feelings of hearing Kaz's story. I'm gonna need Kaz to call Jesper Jordie. I'm gonna need all of that.

Jesper: "I like the chaos. The gamble of Barrel life. Never knowing what comes next." Sooo... you like Kaz. :) Also, I remember people talking about this before (during the books), but isn't it suspicious that Jesper likes Wylan for this reason? Because it very much screams Kaz. VERY much. So again, if Kaz was more available... Kazper is canon, one way or another. So much to explore tbh. I'm full of inspiration again (and I haven't even finished my previous 3 wips :)))

Also, the way Jesper easily goes for a quickie with Wylan, which basically means he'd fuck Kaz if he could. Because all the traits show!Wylan has, it's all (and more) in Kaz already. And Jesper knew Kaz for years, so I think the conclusion is very logical.

I'm not giving this 10/10 bc of how they ruined Wesper. But. This was a very long, but a very good episode. So much important information. I even watched parts with Alina and Nikolai, which is VERY rare for me. I'm usually not interested in that part of the show at all.

This is so far my fav episode, but I'm really disappointed that there was no That Iconic Masquerade Line.

#natiswatching #kazper #sabn #jesper fahey #kaz brekker #ck #wylan van eck #nina zenik #long post #wesper

[bibbykins]

-Hi, hello my love 💕 I hope you and the misses are having a great weekend☺️💕 I was wonderinggggg (I’m not sure if you’ve posted this before, if you have, my bad🥲) if you’d be able to make a list of series recommendations to read? ☺️ I’m curious as to what YOU find interesting and attention worthy! Aaaaaand I’m running out of things to read while we wait for your next addition 🥲😂

Hello my dear!! And the weekend is going well!! My gf had a stressful week at work but it all turned out okay and I've been finding writing a little easier as we go!

Also thank you for asking! I think I did post something a loooong time ago and I literally cannot find it anywhere nor do I remember what I put on there, so I'd be happy to make another!

I will preface this by saying I am going to miss a ton of writers, bc I'm doing this one real quick and I'm quite dumb lmaoo I hope to make a whole fic rec blog but I keep getting busy :( so this list is not all-inclusive but just what comes to mind and I encourage y'all to recommend me stuff too!!

The bulk of this list is just going to be authors whose masterlist I plow through regularly but if I have a specific series of theirs I like the most I will try to link it! (Also sorry to anyone Tumblr doesn't let me tag correctly!)

I'm also lucky enough to have a lot of people on this list as mutuals which I'm super thankful for!! I appreciate all of you (mutuals or not) so much for sharing your talents in the form of beautiful works!

@rapline-heaux comes to mind first, pls read their stuff OMG!! The College Au and Possess Your Heart is beautiful and she's also super great in general!

@purpleyoonn is someone I just started reading from and Petrichor is nothing short of life-changing!! I'm making my way through her masterlist rn and ugh I LOVE IT

@bebejungkook is also someone I just started reading from and the talent!!

@jjungkookislife is someone I rediscovered and they are unbelievably talented also their new series Envolver has me by the throat lmao

@minniepetals my OT7 queen!! Not only is she super sweet she's super great at making you fall in love with all the characters she writes!! I cannot pick a fav series it's like picking a fav child lmao

@btsydtrash is another talented writer that I cannot pick a fav series for because OH MY GOD she is so talented I love her whole masterlist

@chummywchimmy I have reread both parts of Toska several times it is foul how much I love it!

@jiminiesfavouritecolourisblue you all already know how much I love Blue, it is and will continue to be soulmate behavior the way all of their fics have me in a chokehold! I just finished their Office hybrid au and am salivating for the third part but their whole masterlist has me on my KNEES

@scribblemetae is settling back and I'm really happy to see someone so talented taking the break they need and writing on their terms! Everything they write is gold so please show your support!!

@lonelyhobi is another extremely sweet and talented writer who I seriously admire!!

@bangtans-apollo Literally don't talk to me until you've read the Fanclub series like ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! I am kept continuously fed and am forever grateful!! Everything they write is amazing like ughhhhh

@worldwidemochiguy I have no words other than the one begging you to read their fics pls do thx bye

@ninetailedfoxmanchi am in love with everything they post!! I'm running out of words but pls believe it's all amazing!

I'm getting tired so I'm going to end it here but I know in my bones I am missing a ton of talented people so hopefully I'll get the energy to add to this but in the meantime, enjoy!

P.S. I'm sorry to my mutuals I'm so bad at interacting with my mutuals I'm extremely awkward and terrified of bothering people but just know ily!! I'm just too chicken to slide into your dms :') mentally I'm there though I promise lmao

#ask #fic rec

[praise-milkman]

quick typing brain hurty

:( i have had a lot of moments in life where i my family speculated if i had depression or anxiety clinically, but other diagnoses seemed off the table. My dad has ADHD and I was super shy as kid but also smart, but no adult ever seemed to consider maybe I had what HE had OR maybe ..... on the spectrum. i know screening tests only go so far, I am so far from being able to go somwhere to diagnose or anything.... and every description of masking from sources and other people sound JUST like me, and now I am confused how one is supposed to know if they are on the spectrum or have a level of autism if they masked their whole life?? I noticed i was answering screening questions with what I would LIKE to do or be, so I switched to my mindset of when i was younger and felt my stress honestly instead of internalizing it and seeing how it was not sociable.... and that kid needed lots of help. I'm better now but only cause I have to be and i GET SO TIRED of being "an adult". I feel like the same person i was when i was 12 just employed and stuff. i never gave myself the space to consider i was more than just a little anxious (never got properly diagnosed in that area, just a lot of sessions with school counselors..) so now i'm trying to do that and find information so i can stop punishing myself for habits and behaviors that might ...like not be my fault....

in my life, i have had an INTENSE fear of conflict and being wrong. just scrolling around tumblr a couple posts in the autism tag make me feel like i shouldn't even be there. one post said "functioning" labels are frowned upon, but I also looked at a users blog who was non-verbal and called themselves low-functioning, and had some posts where they were very frustrated with "high-functioning" people and how they talk about autism. i mean already i learned that the thought "i feel non-verbal sometimes" may be more like...selective mutism or something else regarding communication, so i am happy i am looking into it bc that's how i feel. but i noticed my fear of being incorrect crop up and i don't like drawing attention to myself but i am 24 and tired of just acting like i'm normal and that it hasn't been a roller coaster hell trying to be socially acceptable. i've tried self-helping my way through life with moderate results, i at least know it;s not for lack of trying and now i see the pattern in my thinking, depression, obsession over topics, and so many things, but guilt and a constant sense of imposter syndrome about EVERYTHING holds me back from being honest about my feelings sometimes and how much it sucks because i had friends sadder than me and less stability and friends with worse disability so by all acounts i am doing super well but even those friends would not want me to discard my own suffering in a game of unbalanced comparison.

i'm not super sure why i'm posting this but i have never really once allowed myself the space to be weird and wrong and just roll with the fact that we are all weird and wrong about stuff sometimes. i vow to never hold hate in my heart so i wonder why i can't just trust that/. why am i so hateful towards myself then. I want to just say out loud, I AM CONFUSED all the time pretty much now, I feel LESS HEALTHY now then when i was 19 but I am honestly SMARTER and MORE CAPABLE so that's why it's such a CONTRADICTION. I feel like i am doing alright but somehow OVERTHINKING more than ever. some of my anxieties and social confusions are getting more glaring as i get older to the point where i'm like... i thought i had this under control? I fixed this thing that was "wrong"? And then I read online...there is such a thing as COVERING UP versus "FIXING" and that BLEW MY MIND and has stuck an itch in my brain I cannot get rid of , it explains how i wasted my WHOLE childhood caring too much about things i didn't even have to care about. I was worried about everyhting all the time and felt weird, and processed things weird, and i Was smart but too anxious so i didn't pass that one GT test, my self esteem lived on rock bottom as a school kid and i thought that was NORMAL and i was just SELF AWARE ABOUT MY FLAWS.

So there's that. i need to just stick it out right? It's hard to accept yourself, when your concept of self-acceptance or self-love is skewed in the first place? Like apparently I'm not the best measure... of if I'm being nice to myself... because I'm not sure what nice to myself really is. I miss being 4 years old i think haha

#personal #autism #depresssion #eeesh im just tired of saying nothing about it #clearly it's not helping

[wooahaes]

Aahh! Thanks so much for replying to me, it was super helpful! I really appreciate how in-depth it was too. I shall try reblogging something now (v excited hehe). Can I be bold and ask for any writer recs? I've seen you talk about June and Ursa alot, so I'll make sure to check them out! (You prob have it somewhere, but it's 2am and I need sleep haha) I don't mind getting assigned a random emoji (I'm far too indecisive to pick one tbh haha). I hope your tummy feels better! Thanks so much again!!

sorry to everyone im about to @ in this post sfdkhsdf BUT

(also i saw ur first reblog and sdkfhd anon ur SO cute!! i recommend finding a profile pic somewhere and changing it so ppl don't block you while assuming you're a bot!!)

ok so all of these ppl write for svt and i believe also write for other groups? i'm mainly going by svt writers who ik have posted fics before!! i'm so sorry in advance bc i know i'm leave some ppl off btw just bc i don't want this post to get super long :(

even tho you said you've seen me talk about june and ursa, i'll @ them here again so you can find their blogs

although june i don't think has written anything (yet), she tags everything she reblogs/recs over at @junhui-recs so v good source to find writers <3!! i trust a lot of june's taste tbh + she's just a lovely person to interact with in general <3

ursa @thepixelelf is also a lovely person and writer and i fully suggest checking out her social media AUs if that's your thing!! they're super inclusive (gn!reader, no ulzzangs, generally ursa's writing has no reference toward reader's appearance too tbh!!) and honestly ursa is rly funny <3 love u ursa

i also recommend livvie @husbandhannie <3 livvie has very comforting writing that feels like home + she's so good about tagging things so if you need to avoid a certain topic, you most likely will (and if u dont, she absolutely does not bite and will add a trigger warning if you let her know)

(which btw i think every single person on this list is pretty solid about tagging things and open to being corrected if they leave something out!!)

sol @leejungchans also has popped up a few times on my blog i believe! sol is super duper nice and also has super cozy writing <3

aria @joshuas also has some lovely svt fics on her blog!! + aria is a huge sweetie as well (literally everyone i rec here is super nice)

elv @dokyeomblr is also a very very lovely person (mwah) who writes for multiple groups!!! one day i will go back through her masterlist n reblog when i have the brain cell to fully write out the tags she deserves <3

i don't think i've ever interacted with @suhnshinehaos aside from reblogging her renjun smau, but i like her sense of humor a lot <3 (also v inclusive smaus!!)

uhh i also don't think i've interacted with @blossom-hwa often but she seems cool and i also like her writing (i reblogged a hoshi fic from her once that i enjoyed!! + i believe she writes for both skz and golcha and being a golcha fan automatically makes u cool in my book tbh)

i will cap my list there but there are sooo many good writers out there tbh !!! i think almost everyone here i've interacted with (but even if i haven't, maybe one dayyy after i stop being hindered by anxiety lmao) but they're all super nice to people in my experience! :)

i also have a fic rec tag where i've reblogged from writers that are and aren't listed here!!

also goodnight anon <3 btw i hope 🍧 is fine with you? i can absolutely change it if you want! i just think its a cute emoji and ur cute n also sweet like shave ice is (esp on a hot day... i am so tired of summer weather)

#wooahaes.ask #🍧 anon #i could add more tbh #i mainly went for people who i know have posted fics but theres def more ppl i could have listed #pls dont feel bad if i left you off of this list btw!! i def have more writer moots that i would include #but i feel awkward writing a super long ask #one day i'll write my writer rec post that i'll like. continuously update over time

[ruvigapo]

Another personal post today bc i feel like i just.. am better able to think when i know someone's listening.

Remember blog culture?? I'm channeling That right now 😂😂

It's occured to me lately all the ways on which my adhd really has inhibited my ability to draw, and i just wanted to write it all out in a bulletpoint format and go through them to see if i can't find a solution to some of them.

Boredom - i get bored doing the same thing for too long and will rarely finish something if it takes me more than a week to finish.

Computer runs on 4GB - My computer is, sadly, shit. Which means a lot if waiting and hassling to save files on external hard drives.

External validation - not unique to adhd but i've been told we react much more strongly to other people's opinions of us, which sounds about right. So if i don't feel other people enjoy what i make, or even one person doesn't, whose opinion i value, i lose motivation.

Going outside - drawing from life is something i enjoy but it's very hard for me to do, which has led to me feeling very stuck in a single mindset for a very long time even though i would like to get inspiration from other sources. The insp bank is just very empty.

Starting and stopping - it's just such a hassle to navigate hyperfocus. To an extent i know how to trigger it, work with it, make the most of it, etc. But it still just takes a Lot of energy to manage.

Back pain - having a hard time exercising and stretching regularly has made it so my back pain is stopping me from drawing even if i want to.

Too tired all the time - everything is much more exausting when u have adhd so even if i wanted to work on åersonal projects or whatever, the physical and emotional toll is just too high.

Probably not an exaustice list lbr but at leadt i have it.

So a few things are more existential in nature like: "what do i want to spend my limited time on this earth making?" "Why do i feel like what i am doing is not enough?" Etc. Etc. And probably can't be solved in one sitting.

A couple things can rly be aided by a better settup though so once i move in i'm going to need to start thinking about a better settup:

A better computer with a RAM that doesn't actively want me dead.

(And good screen placement to go w that, so im not actively murdering my neck).

(And a new tablet that's not 10yrs old and a safety hazard).

Established places for all my tools so i can work with minimal effort.

Smaller usb sticks labeled by year would be nice. Computer folders drive me mad.

An inspiration board (and planning board) would be nice. Being able to visually see all my projects in action at all times. Worth a try honestly.

Moving in and settling down will aid on a few fronts:

Generally not being constantly worried about moving in to a new appartment will be swell. Love that for future me.

Exercise will happen more regularly once i move in and am not constantly stressed. Also i'll live rly close to a gym so.. fingers crossed that solves That problem.

Going back to work will help with that.

Fingers crossed ill have energy for parkour again soon🤞🤞🤞

Genuinely no solution for the Too Tired problem. I'll likely just have to let myself rest once in a while even if it means giving up on exercise and drawing for a week or more at a time. Which is probably healthy lbr.

Which.. that leaves the three biggest issues (shocker).

Going outside would help with boredom but going outside is hard.

I think i'll have to invest in some better outdoorsy bags. Like those rly cool leather hip pouches. Those would be great. Just.. a way to easily carry equipment qith me so i can just draw when i feel like it and don't have to dig around a bag just find a pencil.

Like this lol. Big enough to fit an a5 sketch book bc that's my preffered size snd like.. one water colour set and a pen. Imagine that. I think that would be Swell. I don't need a bunch. Just enough that i can carry the essentials anywhere i go.

The dream.

Another reason to marry a leather worker.

And honestly like.. i think taking a break from fanart and social media and just going outside to draw and see the world.

I think that's what i need rn.

Then there's the issue of external validation, which isn't anyone's fault, it just kinda Is.

I figure quitting social media can help with that too. Sorry to say.

The rest is probably just processing what i want to do and stuff. Ya kno. The existential bits.

#muffin rambles #personal #im feeling anxioys and in s #i must fix everythng #mood #like #ik when i get like this best i can do is notice it #look it in the eye #and say smth like #thats okay #just breathe #itll be all right #long post

[starsmuserainbow]

𝕘𝕖𝕥 𝕥𝕠 𝕜𝕟𝕠𝕨 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕒𝕦𝕥𝕙𝕠𝕣

name : Star or Starfire

pronouns :  she/her

preference of communication : I don't know, IMs and/or Discord I guess? Though I'm a little hesitating on giving the latter away - feel free to ask though

most active muse : Uh, I'm always feeling Lightning and Moonshot a lot, so probably those two? Not really most active as in the most things I'm doing with them, though, sadly (also Mar'i currently kinda after the edit I made a few days ago)

experience / how many years : I'm not sure if I should count the guestbooks I did with a friend and my brother all the way back, so I'm just gonna say after that. My actual real public experience started on here, which is... almost 8 years by now.

best experience : Probably the time where I was able to throw out replies way faster than now. I usually managed to do all my replies every day, even if it were like 5 or so that I got back that day - such a difference to now. Also of course a lot of threads with people would be candidates for best experiences, but I don't wanna choose anything there so just all of the RPing on here in general.

rp pet peeves : Not really RP, but, I feel so tired of seeing a dozen posts raging or panicking about something tumblr does as soon as they do a post of some sort. Especially when it then turns out a misread or miswording of them or whatever, like this very recent 'panic' about them removing the chronological dash (which, I've seen multiple tumblr-people and the staff blog say is not the case) - don't get me wrong, I'm also not for an algorithm taking over by default and I think giving people a algorithm-dash by default for new accounts is kinda wrong and bad bc that's not what tumblr is (and if you don't know how to curate your own place then what do you even know, sorry but it's so easy and self-explaining and I just don't get how people wouldn't know about all of this by instinct), but, I don't see reason to panic or rage there. It's just what websites need to do, and we'll either find ways to live with it or, as much as I don't want that, another place to go to.

fluff, angst, or smut : Fluff and angst both, probably - I enjoy some piece and quiet and niceness, and challenging situations or pain are entertaining to have and write, too. No smut bc, well, I think most people knowing me know that by now, I just don't do that stuff.

plots or memes : I'm usually very bad at sending in memes. I think the reason for that is me always trying to pick something that works for me and can be continuned, but I'm also aware that not all memes are always continued and that's kinda already, lowering my urge to send, and then it needs to fit and I need to feel like not being a nuisance to people at that point --

uh, yeah. Point being, I'm very fine with both plots and memes, and I'm still trying to work on sending more memes to people, but most of the time if I am to initiate something, it'll probably happen through IMs and plotting. I'm always very happy to recieve memes though!

long or short replies : I think I prefer it if it's a bit longer than the very short things, but otherwise anything is fine. I'm not always able to make my replies very long either, it just happens. I think it shouldn't be about the length. As long as you write into your reply what you want to say and I do with mine, we should be good.

time to write : I... usually write during my evening. I don't know what else to say.

are you like your muses : I think it's probably normal that every muse has a piece of the writer to a degree. I could name things that I could see of me in my muses, but the list would be too long, so I'm just saying that there probably would be some thing I could list for each, but not as much to have them be me or something.

tagged by: @vartouhix - thank you!

#✫ Out of Characters ✫ | OOC

[michelemoutons]

and at last, the post that maybe three people maximum have been waiting for...

em's comfort retro rally videos: a masterlist!

in a much-needed return to this blog's roots, and as an antidote to all motorsport- and life-related chaos, i now present to you: the first edition of em's favorite retro rally videos!

general disclaimer/info: these videos mainly come from the group B era of the world rally championship (wrc), which generally speaking was in the '80s. i am only human, so expect a lot of bias toward my personal favorites...which will become very apparent as you read this list hehe. also i'm not even gonna pretend to be an expert on this or anything. a lot of these are literally just based on Vibes

table of contents

i. my top 5 rally coverage videos

mainly coverage for television, recorded on VHS and uploaded to YouTube by some truly incredible people

ii. honorable mentions

not rally coverage, but retro rally videos nevertheless

often documentaries, mini-doc features, interviews

for all videos, i have indicated the language (most are in english fyi); if any links fail or videos disappear, send me an ask or DM and i'll remove the culprit/find an alternative link.

and now, onward!

(TW for occasional flash photography in many of the night sequences of the videos, as well as a gif included in this post)

i. my top 5 rally coverage videos

in which my bias toward audi sport, mouton/pons, mikkola, toivonen, and vatanen are put on blast for all to see 🥴 i am not an expert in anything i am just very good at research and a whore for aud—[SNIPED]. for the sake of brevity, i narrowed my favorites down to 5. maybe another time i will share all the rest!

also, a general note about the commentary: sometimes, the commentary around michèle and fabrizia can get... weird. keep in mind, they were the most prominent female team partnership around that time, and the first to nearly clinch a wrc wdc, and to modern ears, the commentators really didn't know how to act around them. personally, it wasn't horrible for me, i just ignored the weirder bits, but i understand if others might find it off-putting. also for the sake of your sanity don't read the comments.

5. Rally of the 1000 Lakes, 1984 | finland

link: overall coverage (eng)

podium: vatanen/alén/toivonen (full final results)

comments: this was definitely a rally for most of audi sport's drivers to forget: bar stig blomqvist, who came quite close to the podium finishers with a 4:14:01 to henri toivonen's 4:12:57! both hannu mikkola and michèle mouton had to retire from the race, which may lead you to wonder: why does this rank among my favorites? well, it's always fun to watch group b rally cars sailing through the air against picturesque scenery, and this video also contains an intriguing (at least for me!) look at the scrutineering process, with drivers at their most casual.

owie :( they were fine though!

4. Lombard RAC Rally, 1981 | britain

link: overall coverage (eng)

podium: mikkola/vatanen/blomqvist (full final results)

comments: hannu winning by 11 whole minutes even after rolling his car in the middle of the forest is actual legend behavior! anyway this was michèle's first wrc outing in britain, and even though she and fabrizia had to retire, they still did quite well, consistently running high in the leaderboards after the first few stages. and that's considering the fact that michèle had a bad cold for much of the rally and had to ask fabrizia to drive the car to service park for her at one point bc she was so tired. which fabrizia did... with a pencil in her mouth. lot of big names in one video—also, jean todt makes an appearance as a co-driver!

shamelessly poached off of one of my text post edits

3. Marlboro Safari Rally, 1983 | kenya

link: overall coverage (eng)

podium: vatanen/mikkola/mouton (full final results)

comments: ok can i just say how stunning the video presentation is?? the opening sequence is just!!! the shots of the wildlife! the sprinting giraffes! wow! anyway the visual of drivers in deck chairs just tickles me for no reason, and michèle please tell me what you ask for at the hairdresser's and also where you got that orange blouse (this is obviously not just specific to this rally, she always eats and leaves no crumbs). this was michèle's first entry and only finish in kenya (and of course it was a podium mwah). it was also her last wrc entry in the A1 quattro, as she switched to the A2 for the rest of her program in the '83 season. also this is one of my favorite podium pictures ever.

lksdjffnnkd there's almost too much to unpack... fabrizia somehow surviving in high waist jeans in a hot car... michèle's do-it-yourself shorts... this podium picture was the subject of a very frantic video chat conversation between myself and a friend at 2am a few months ago

2. Rallye de Portugal, 1982 | portugal

links: short recap (eng) | overall coverage 1, stuck in the middle of two other rallies. timestamps in descrip. (eng) | overall coverage 2, very vibey with cool music (ita... also peep walter röhrl speaking italian)

podium: mouton/eklund/wittmann (full final results)

comments: GOD I LOVE THIS ONE SO MUCH AAAA! michèle's first podium of '82 being a win? this rally being the one where there's footage of her going shopping with fabrizia afterward? (more on that later) them winning by 13 whole minutes? and that's not even considering THEE most poetic victory ceremony of all time! in fact let me talk about that bc the racing and the win aside, that's why it's so high up on my list! literally poetic cinema! it's night, they're standing on top of the car and floodlit and surrounded by cheering crowds but they may as well be the only ones there in their own little world, laughing at each other and barely even having to look to each other when they're raising their hands—like god! shut up! we get it you're besties 😭

i_just_think_theyre_neat.png

and now... last but certainly never least...

1. Lombard RAC Rally, 1982 | britain

link: overall coverage (eng)

podium: mikkola/mouton/toivonen (full final results)

comments: firstly, if you were to ask me about my dream podium, this would be it. hands down, across all series of motorsport, my comfort podium would be hannu, michèle, and henri in any order. (there's such a cute picture of them from this rally on pinterest, standing in order on a staircase. henri is not looking at the camera because he is laughing at something michèle is saying and it's such a Vibe but i cannot find it wah). the battle for second between michèle and henri ran down to literally the last stage, and their times are separated by seconds, which is just wild to me. the context of this rally deserves another post, which i honestly don’t have the energy to make rn, but just take my word for it that it threatens to destroy me if i think about it too hard! anyway this is just such an awesome rally and i’ve watched this video so many times haha

i love this rally so much that i actually had a character in a story i was writing attend the ceremony captured in this picture as a small child and made it a formative moment in her life. no, there is nothing wrong with me.

ii. honorable mentions

(is it obvious who my faves are? yikes)

'Group B - Avec Michele Mouton' (eng) - taken from a longer feature presentation about group b, a segment specifically about michèle. a friend once described its vibes as ‘a synth wave edit of an 80s anime set in a cyberpunk world about racing’

'1983 Audi Sport National Rally with Michele Mouton' (eng) - in which michèle takes journalist sue baker as a co-driver for a spin in an A1 and a rally win. fun behind-the-scenes video

'Intervista a Fabrizia Pons, la Regina delle Note' 1, 2, 3 (ita) - very thorough interview which is mostly fabrizia telling all sorts of stories, including the very entertaining story of how she found out she was going to be michèle’s co-driver. also what a badass title

'2008 Otago International Classic Rally' (eng) - THE BESTIES REUNITE THE BESTIES REUNITE!!! michèle and fabrizia reunite for a rally that fabrizia convinced michèle to join, they suffer some problems but there are plenty of wholesome bestie moments to be had

'Michele Mouton hurls Group B Audi Quattro up Goodwood hill' (eng) - i mean, self explanatory. the sound of the chirping tires? asmr could never. very short watch if you want a quick pick-me-up

'1990 Louise Aitken-Walker feature' (eng) - a video featuring a female rally driver from scotland and her point-scoring run at the rallye monte -carlo. i am convinced that louise was john finnemore’s inspiration or at least an influence for the character of linda fairbairn. no my hat is not made of tin foil what are you talking about

hannu rocketing around michigan back in 2017 (eng)

hannu flying around goodwood in 2015 (eng)

sometimes i listen to fabrizia's recent onboards (yes, she's still at it!) and this one is one of my favorites, from 2016 (ita)

[malinaagenda]

hey!! holy shit i had no idea what bidarkling said about archie!! jesus fucking christ that's disgusting. thank you for reblogging. she's problematic on the best of days--but that was outright disgusting. also--i'm wondering if there are any malina networks/safe spaces to hangout? i really like them, but I'm afraid to come out to my followers as an Archie/Mal Stan. I hope this is ok to come to you with! I love your jace and clary blog too. <3333

I’m not on twitter so thankfully I didn’t have to deal with that but just seeing the screenshots and hearing about it spikes my anxiety through the roof. Like between this and the darklina’s thinking that in this day and age, especially with what’s going on with the hate towards asians right now, that because they don’t like a SHIP, they can not only be racist and bully the actors and their children. But they can call the ship MALARIA, like. I wish I was joking it is downright vulgar.

And honestly not one darklina can be like oh that’s just a small part of the fandom you can’t tar us all with that brush because like. Where are all the posts condemning this person and others? Where’s all the “no you don’t get to make up racist ship names” posts? I’ve seen people I respected LIKE THE DAMN TWEETS, by bidarkling, or like posts attacking people standing up to them. 

I’ve seen people argue in a discord server, by invading the malina channel, that they have a right to do all this gross stuff to Archie because he’s not dark skinned enough. Archie Renaux is Desi. Y’all don’t get to be fucking racist shitbags, or excuse racism and laugh at it and like posts or tweets, and then act like not all Darklina’s are the same when I have seen literally NOT ONE, especially not one of the big ones, say shit against the stuff done to Archie. About the Malaria name etc. I’ve seen them like the posts and tweets tho!!!!  The only person i’ve seen mention anything is a multishipper. Like.

We didn’t tar y’all. Y’all literally did that TO YOURSELVES. With outing how racist y’all are.

Not on the topic of Archie though. The LENGTHS some of those shippers will go to to woobify and be all uwu aleks my babyyy. Like the next person who even breathes that Genya deserved to be sexually assualted and the darkling shouldn’t be held accountable for that OR the other thing he does. I will fight. I don’t care, y’all can fuck off invalidating abuse survivors because you like the white guy playing him. I haven’t even been here lately because recovering, and I really come back to a message I am not posting glorifying what happened to her. This is the lengths y’all go to? THIS IS YOUR GOD HUH? THIS IS THE HILL YOU ALL WILL DIE ON? RACISM AND ABUSE APOLOGISM? Staying quiet and ignoring it is the same as encouraging it! But y’all know that lbr.

I swear to god I’ll never be able to enjoy ben barnes ever again. 

Also to answer your question finally I got so sidetracked because this is the only ask imma answer bc they’re all in the same vein, but also to be like I’m the wrong person to ask because like. I’m of the opinion that if people give you shit over actors or characters you like. They’re assholes. They’re not your friends or even good people. Drop their asses. Like characters and people you like are so personal to you. And honestly? especially with all of this. Weed them out. Post about what you love and block anyone who tries to fuck with you over it. 

I’m tired of people being like oh i like mal/archie but i would never say it in front of my followers~ like bruh. MY DUDE.

For people to follow though I do have suggestions!!! I’m also sure that there’s discords out there for malina/mal fans!

@malinasource ofc bc the source blog

@malyen0retsev @alinamal @alinastarksov @jessiemeili @thetracker

also anyone in this post here and the comments/tags oh this one too 

I know I’m missing so many people i should be including rn but sick brain tired. But feel free to go through my blog for people i’ve interacted with or rb edits from (im so behind on my tracked tag too but sick) and you should find lots of lovely people to interact with!!!

Also ty!!!! That’s like my main otp of otp’s so every time it gets complimented i’m just seal clapping Good luck in your hunt for mal/archie friends! and I’m here if you need anything/wanna chat too!

#me: supposed to be recovering from minor surgery and not raising my blood pressure #also me: i will fight every darklina ON SIGHT #shadow and bone #Anonymous #Ask #Answered #malina

[witchysleepingbeauty]

I started learning about loa on october 25th (I like marking dates haha), I was receiving way too much info, at first it started so easy and then really hard, there's lot of "coaches" out there that even contradict their own teachings. English is not my first language, it's spanish so there are not really "good" or direct coaches. I mean... They said "you're god, BUT...." that if sp didn't feel the same way about me, that if he wasn't in the "same vibration" as me, I couldn't have him. I was sooo pissed of, really, I cried. Then said "vibrational readings", reiki, yoga, meditation, visualization (that I had to visualize with my 5 senses, otherwise it was not going to happen). I was tired of that, really, If i'm god, then... That means I can do and have whatever I want. I was struggling with the techniques and realized (after lots of accepting and denying info) that affirming is the way, just that. I suffered from anxiety and panick attacks for almost 7 years!!!!! I started affirming "i'm healthy, I'm free, I'm god"... I couldn't even be out of my house, I was so afraid of having attacks and dying, I couldn't be without my mom. Now everything is so different, i'm free and it took me just like 2 or 3 days. I changed 7 years in less than 3 days and that's crazy. I think i'm "having problems" with my sp bc i'm still thinking in a logical way, circumstances, free will. I keep affirming i'm god and that whatever and whoever I want comes easy and fast to me. I really recommend people starting in this to watch sammy ingram videos, reading your posts and finding coaches that they feel they resonate with, that make everything fun and easy, that empower. I found one coach from Argentina that I really resonate with. I assume i'm already a succes story and i'm coming back. I hope this isn't boring to read, I know its too long but I just wanted to say there's lot of stupid info out there and that what you write here is real. That's it. Love your blog💛

Ooooooh and I was forgetting about the so called coaches that say that "god inside you knows the perfect time for your desire" that it can take days or YEARS!!!! One of them told their "clients succes stories" and one of them took 10 years to manifest, other more than 3 months and that was bc of the stupid idea of "set it and forget it", "god inside you knows what's better for you", "you cannot affirm when you already have it" and I can still go on. If I had just affirmed in the first place and persisted I know I would be even married to my sp, really. I needed to say thisss, i'm tired of stupid techniques and really bad info out there. I know everyone can believe in what they want and manifest with their beliefs but why make it harder and make them pay you for that, right? Your blog is awesome, just found it like 2 or 3 days ago, you're the best, love you💛

Not boring at all! I am so glad you found the world of manifesting and even more glad that you liked my content and found it helpful!

There is a lot of misinformation out there and that’s because our society is conditioned with such ridiculous ideas.

You are so early into this and I am so happy you managed already to create such amazing results! This is for everyone to read that thinks they cannot manifest! You did it even though you were confused and had your doubts!

However, although I do have a bad opinion on Law of Attraction coaches, psychics, tarot readers etc. because they spread limiting beliefs and people, like you said, end up waiting 10 YEARS for their manifestations (I’m shocked btw 😰) I have to admit that I wouldn’t change my personal journey (I used to believe in Twin Flames y’all 🥲) because it truly taught me to love myself and that later became the basis for all my manifestations! So do not ever feel bad for your past, use it to become better today!

This was an amazing success story and I am so glad you send it so I can post it for everyone to see!

*I am so sorry that there’s no option for anon asks yet, I’m trying to figure it out, if anyone knows how to activate the option through the iPhone app please help! 😂*

#manifestation advice #manifest a specific person #manifest instantly #manifestation coach #law of assumption #law of attraction #neville goddard #everyone is you pushed out #your thoughts create #create your life #create your future

[dontyouhearmehowling]

oh my god. Ok so I just scrolled through your blog and my heart hurts because there is so much love and just so much stuff I can relate too and I just ahhh damnnn it I cant even but like can I please have the story of your relationship with this girl your with? please? i'm a hopeless romantic I feel too much I love so hard my own love life is complicated but i know the kind of love you talk about thats exactly how i love the love of my life too so yours is a story I need to hear

ok so. it all started on April 31st, 2018. i reblogged one of those ask games and she sent me an emoji that said “i’m too scared to talk to you but i think you’re great” and i was like do it!!! and she did!!!! she texted me after i had already gone to sleep tho, so i only answered the next day. but then we talked all day. and the next. and the next. and we never ran out of things to talk about and even only knowing her for a few days i already felt comfortable enough with her to talk about anything?? it was wild. since day 1 we’ve had this connection that i’ve never had with anyone else and its my favorite thing in the world. after like a week we already had a bunch of inside jokes, something that i’d never had before, and i was already crushing on her. ok so we became very close friends like immediately, and i mostly ignored my crush on her bc i thought she didn’t like me back and usually i’d get meaningless crushes on everyone at first before i met her. but then this other girl and i started flirting and i realized i didnt like her bc i liked c too much, so i broke things off and kinda went like “oh shit this is real” and decided that i’d just stay friends with c until i eventually couldnt take it anymore and had to tell her abt my feelings bc thats how i am. anyways ok cool meanwhile i made her watch the good place on rabb.it with me which will be relevant later.

ok so fast forward to may 21st or something around that time. its time to sleep bc i have school the next day so we say goodnight, but then i guess she says something or reblogs something and i get sad bc i realize she doesnt like me back. so i make some hashtag sad posts abt yearning and then i realize i told her i was going to sleep and i didnt want her to think i didnt want to talk to her so i text her again and say like “ok i was going to go to sleep but then i got sad abt my crush” and SHE GOES “you have a crush????????” and im there like. what in the hell bc not only did i not try to hide it At All, i constantly posted about it and had an entire tag about her and i thought it was pretty obvious. so anyways i go “yes?? i thoought you knew that?? im literally always posting about it??” and she asks me to talk abt the crush and who it is. i say “just stalk the tag if u want, im going to sleep” then shes like “nO WAIT WHO IS IT” and im like. blatantly ignoring that and my heart is already beating out of my chest but she Really wants to know and then at one point i say “please dont make me answer that” so shE SAYS “you’re making me think that its me” and i say “i dont know what you want me to say” and SHE GOES “I WANT YOU TO SAY THAT ITS ME BC I HAVE A HUGE CRUSH ON YOU” so i just. die. right then and there. also yknow we talk about it and its like after 1 am and im just happier than i’ve ever been. ok so 2 days later she asks me out Officially and its great and shes the cutest gf ever and she made me feel more wanted than i’d ever felt in my entire life. then 6 days later she sends me a big big big text on tumblr and long story short (bc it was kinda personal), she would be deleting her all social media for the summer.

so she was gone. and we had only dated for a week at this point, but we’d known each other for 2 months, and i already loved her. i already knew she was the love of my life. i didnt even try to move on, i’d tell people i didnt wanna move on cuz i knew i was meant to love her. i had another blog like this that i used to talk about how much i loved and missed her (so like. exactly like this). i literally reasoned with myself that like. that happened because before i met her i was in a really bad place after a terrible relationship and i was almost giving up on finding someone who actually made me feel loved bc i thought it would never happened, so i was like “ok so i was in a really bad place, so the universe brought my soulmate a little early just for a while so that i would know i had to hold on, and when its actually time for us to be together, it will bring us to each other once again” like i actually told myself that, in those words. and yknow what? i wasnt even wrong. on july 15th she texted me from an empty tumblr with her old url and at first i literally couldnt believe it but we talked for hours and hours and i asked her what happened bc i thought she was disconnecting for the summer and she said “i was. i am. i just couldnt not talk to you anymore” and she said that she thought about me every single day, and i told her i missed her and she said she didnt text sooner bc she thought i’d be angry at her and ofc i wouldnt, i could never be angry at her and besides, she was just taking care of herself and i said i dont think i could be anything less than head over heels for for, and she said she felt the same way, but wasnt ready to be more than friends yet. but that had always been more than enough for me. just having her in my life would always be more than enough for me. so we stayed friends.

then, on august 9th i got this ask.

and she saw it after i said i was gonna go to bed (bc again, i had school the next day) and she texted me a whole thing about how that was the nicest thing anyone had ever said about her and that i should be asleep but she had to get it out of her chest and that her anxiety made it hard for her to show how much i meant to her so she was sorry if i didnt know and this would probably make no sense but she was tired of keeping it to herself bc shes the luckiest person alive for having met me and that it was gonna be so hard because shes so difficult (shes not) and her anxiety is difficult but that she literally spent every night thinking about me and of buying plane tickets to come see me so that she could be with me. then she was like “im sorry if this is uncomfortable to you and you can just ignore it but i think im in love with you and this is over text and not romantic at all (it was the most romantic night of my life) but you’re asleep (i wasnt) and we arent together but i want to be one day” and until this i was Trying to fall asleep and then i checked my phone that kept RINGING and died a thousand times over and started to answer and she sent other texts saying “i’ve never felt this way about anyone before i’m so in love with you its fucking ridiculous and this is gonna be so complicated but fuck i want this so bad / i’m sorry it took me so long / would you move to new york with me?” and i was This Close to literally fucking exploding like. how the hell was this happening how was it not a DREAM. so we talked and i obviously said i loved her too and eventually she asked me out and thats still probably the best night of my life. other highlights: “i’ve loved you way before august 9th so jot that down” and “off topic but i love you / you’re honestly my other half” and, after i said “you cant make me laugh its 2am”, she answered “i’m going to make you laugh for the rest of your life so help me god” and thats my favorite thing anyone has ever said to me probably and so far she’s kept her word.

anyways we got back together and then she told me that she never even told her friends she broke up with me??? bc that way she could keep pretending we were still together???? literally like sjdksndk imagine being this loved. i dont have to. anyways she wrote poems abt me sometimes and her christmas gift for me was gonna be a book with all her poems and she called it “what we owe to each other” because of the good place (remember how i said it’d be relevant later? its later) bc like she said that when we were watching tgp together on rabb.it thats when she realized that she Really Truly liked me like For Real. and the inscription on the book was going to be “to the girl i love / and what i owe her” and. yall. i cry. anyways one of the poems had a huge impact on us. heres the story:

and she got them but we broke up before she got to mail them to me. what happened was she had some mental health problems and she said she couldnt give me what i needed at the time but knew i’d still give her my all bc thats just how i am and she thought it wouldnt be fair so she broke things off to work on her mental health. she said she would need some time before we could be friends. the last thing we said was that we loved each other. this was in like november 2018, and we didnt talk for months. i actually tried to move on this time after a while, but it didnt take. and then i gave up for good. havent tried since. but anyways, then, on march 11th, 2019, i had my first day of college back in my home country, and we have this “pranks”/games that seniors get to do to the freshmen, and one of them required eggs, and they asked us to paint them, so i panted mine as iron man bc it was easy, but c LOVES iron man. like. LOVES. like in a Whole New Level of loving. once when we were dating she said she loved me more than tony stark and i was like. shook. like she tattooed “T.S” on her ankle after him. u get the point. she loves him very much, its adorable and endearing and i love it. anyways. so i sent her a picture of it saying like “you dont have to answer this but i made this for my university and i thought you would like it” and she answered and IMMEDIATELY something clicked and we talked and talked and talked and it was never weird or awkward or uncomfortable. it never is with her. its incredible, i cant explain it. i Know shes my soulmate like thats the ONLY possible explanation for this kind of connection. its unreal. anyways. we became friends again! all was well.

then one beautiful night she drunk texts me sndjkajs she sends me so many texts and says it sucks that we live so far away and that she saw my posts (in this particular case, one that said something about like. when she talked about love now, was it about someone else?) and she said that it wasnt. and then she went to sleep and i only saw the texts when i woke up and i was DYING bc we had a 4 hour difference and it’d take a while for her to wake up. when she did, we talked and she said she wasnt over me and was scared she might never be, and even though we were still gonna stay friends, it was nice to know that she still loved me. ok so fast forward a bit more and i was starting to wonder if she’d moved on again, when she finds out her best friend had a crush on her, and that conversation ends up with her saying “it was 100% platonic for me / sorry if thats weird i just wanted you to know that” and it was NOT weird it was GREAT NEWS bc i was Hella jealous of her best friend and at first i wondered if they were dating and anyways the fact that she wanted me to know that was a pretty good hint that she still had feelings for me. ngl im still somewhat jealous of h (c’s best friend), but thats just bc im an insecure lil bitch and also bc they get to go out and do stuff together that i cant do with c bc of the distance, yknow? but anyways. then she went on a graduation trip in mid to the end of june and she bought me a magnet. just. out of nowhere. i cannot stress enough how Incredibly unexpected this was. so much so that i actually convinced myself that it meant she was over me????? literally. what the fuck. anyways we named him together and coincidentally (or bc of soulmate powers. who knows) we both had the same favorite names. i still love that.

okay so then we go to july 29th, 2019. first of all theres one of my favorite interactions Ever which was like after i was venting about something and i was thanking her and i said “you’re always here for me” to which she answered “nowhere else i’d rather be” and i still think thats peak romance and i will take no criticism on this. anyways so then she sent me a poem that she wrote based on a song i’d sent her (the song i called “heaven is a place” and its the BIGGEST mood for being in love and i sent it to her bc it was how i felt about her so her writing a poem about it?? literally the best thing ever. love it) anyways it was a beautiful poem and i cried and got very emotional and kinda went too far in my compliments (aka being very obvious about my romantic feelings) and then i was like oh no sorry if i made u uncomfortable and she was like. “you have NEVER. EVER EVER EVER EVER made me uncomfortable” “you’re the only person on planet earth i am comfortably myself around” and “there’s nothing you could ever say that i wouldn’t wanna hear” and anyways it was just very good and romantic conversation even tho we were just cough cough platonic hashtag gal pals hashtag no homo ✌️ and then she was like ok wait. i need to talk to u abt something. and in short she said she was waiting for us and i was like well what are you waiting for exactly? and she was like idk?? for us to accidentally bump into each other in new york in a few years?? WHICH WAS LITERALLY WHAT I’D DAYDREAM ABOUT BACK IN JUNE 2018 BEFORE SHE CAME BACK OKAY so anyways we had a Great conversation and said i love you about a thousand times each and she decided she was gonna buy tickets to come see me. and then she dID like TWO DAYS LATER. lichrally. queen of impulsivity but in the best way possible.

—————

ok quick edit here cuz i forgot to say that when i found out she was coming i asked for my mom’s help to make a necklace pendant for her from scratch. my mom works with prosthetics so she has the material to make jewelry and back when c and i were dating in 2018 i had made this lil design for a necklace that had the moon and the ocean (bc duh) and i was gonna give it to her for valentines day in 2019 but we broke up before that so i didnt get the chance, but when i found out i was meeting her i knew i had to. so i made the necklace in wax, like this:

and my mom took it to her work and heated it up to melt it and keep the shape of it to fill with silver, and this was the result:

i gave it to her when she got here and she wore it while she was here and it made me so happy. ok edit over

—————

ok so we kept being like couple-y but not officially in a relationship bc we didnt want to make her anxiety worse. also at one point she was like “so about the ‘i love you more than the moon/ocean’ thing, since we BOTH love BOTH of the moon AND the ocean, i think its only Fair if we update our love declarations to ‘i love you more than the mocean’ bc its mix of both but thats not a word, buT its pronounced exactly like ‘motion’. therefore we should both start saying ‘i love you more than the motion’”. so now we have both the wonderful, romantic, original version, and the NOT ROMANTIC AT ALL DO U HEAR ME C??? version :) and after this day she always started with the WORST!!!!!! version, and i always started with the Only Valid Version, but we’d still answer each other’s ofc because. well. thats love i gues?? it sorta goes like this though: her: i love you more than the motion / me: i hate u / me: i literally hate u so much / me: i Also love you more than the motion

but anyways she was coming to visit me but the plane ticket wasnt for my home country it was for where i was going to university at (a new university, i was starting over) and when i first got here on this campus, i didnt have a working phone number for this country, and i wouldnt be able to access the wifi for 3 days, so i had no way of talking to her. it was TERRIBLE and i missed her more than anything in my LIFE but when i got wifi (after CRYING to the people here bc theyre the most unorganized uni ever and i was already very overwhelmed and stressed) i immediately called her and she’d sent me over 100 text messages dkfjssjks it was amazing, there were two (2) videos of her singing (which is like. objectively the best thing in the world, and the song was rlly romantic and i love it sm when she showed it to me for the first time she said it made her think abt me), a poem, AND a HUGE text with “i love you” written like. a THOUSAND TIMES. seriously i have a gif of it opening and scrolling bc it was so long that the text wouldnt show up directly on the chat screen and u have to click on it to see the rest. i’d never felt more loved in my entire life by anyone ever. anyways so then it came the day for her to get here and i had to wake up at 5 am to go get her at the airport and the uber was like $40 but who CARES it was the best day of my LIFE and i got there 20 minutes earlier bUT GUESS WHAT SO DID SHE (hashtag just soulmate things) then we facetimed the entire time while she was walking through the airport and getting her luggage and then she hung up to walk to the door where i was and we hugged for like 5 minutes and we were totally in people’s way and also almost fell but it was the best thing in the world and i never should’ve let her go. but, we had to go home, so i did. and we spent 4 days together and im not gonna go into details bc this is already too long but u can always send me another ask about her visit if ur not a coward. also i bought her a hoodie from my uni and whenever she wears it i just. die. in short, those days were the happiest i’ve ever been. this campus res had never felt like home before that friday and it hasnt again since that monday, but i swear to god, during those 4 days, this was the only place i could possibly belong.

anyways then she left and i cried for the entire uber ride home and then i cried all day. lmao. also when she was here she gave me the poetry book, the magnet, and the bracelet. still wear the bracelet every single day and i love it more than anything. but then personal stuff happened and we kinda stopped being couple-y again and we’re just friends now but before new years i asked her if she still loved me and she said yes and she said she’d tell me if it changed so ✌️✌️ im assuming it hasnt. even tho my brain is a bitch and everyday its like. today. today is the day. this is when its gonna happen. buT yknow we’ve spent months before without even talking to each other and we got through that still in love, so i mostly ignore it. and tbh i know that actually like, even if we grow apart now (god forbid, but still) we’ll find our way back to each other eventually. like, i’ve said this before and i’ll say it again: nothing, not even the universe itself, can convince me that shes not my soulmate. and even if it turns out i’m not hers, loving her is still the greatest honor i can think of.

another edit: also i started drawing recently and the first person i’ve ever finished drawing was her and also (surprise surprise @c since you’re already seeing all my feelings anyway) bc of my second drawing i almost missed the deadline for one of my midterms (which was a take-home test) bc instead of writing it i spent the entire day before the deadline finishing the drawing which was a secret valentines day gift (secret as in she didnt know it was supposed to be a gift, she thought it was just a drawing inspired by a quote that she loves) and i finished at 2 am but shes 3 hours behind so for her it was still 11 pm which MEANS it was still valentines day so it still counts, i win, lesbian rights!

#mine #l #answered #dont rb #i dont think anyone will but ​this is personal and i dont want to risk it getting out #i wanna have this bc i love telling people this story and next time someone asks i’ll just send them this post

[theouijagirl]

i'm glad you haven't deleted your tumblr. i really enjoy your presence on my dash and tbh i admire the patience you have to answer questions you've already answered bc people can't read a faq. love your content, and i hope you have a lovely day/night :)

Thank you :)

It’s not so much that people can’t read an FAQ, but that there are a TON of questions people can ask about Ouija boards, and there’s no way to fit them all into an FAQ (I’ve tried!). It’s also far too much work for new people following me to go back through my blog to find an answer to a question I answered three years ago. Not to mention I just got tired of tagging stuff that wasn’t blog posts, so it’s even harder to find than usual. It’s not so much that I get tired of answering the same questions over and over. What I can’t stand are situations that go like:

Anon: Asks what are fae.

Me: Answers, explaining what fae are.

Another anon: Asks a follow up question about fae.

Me: Answers.

A different anon, three hours later: Asks what fae are.

Like, I get annoyed only when people ask me a question I had just very recently answered, like if it’s still on the first page of my blog, that tells me that they thought enough about it to send a question but not read the last six or seven posts on my blog.

But whatever. I don’t mind getting questions. I love to hear from you guys and help whoever needs help. 

[thisnerdsadventures]

a summer to remember

hello friends, i definitely just abandoned this whole blog, now didn't i

well i am happy to report that i am still alive, and am thriving!

Here's a rundown of everything that has been going on:

[inserting a readmore because this is long af]

May

So in May, I was definitely just all over the place because I was 1) trying to finish a paper published in a conference!! it literally drove me insane. anyways, then i had to go and finish a 78 page thesis, which involved a really convoluted timeline because i had to finish it ~ a week before the actual deadline so my PI could read it over, but then i had to finish it a few days before THAT so my PhD supervisors could read it over, which meant that i had like one (1) week to write like. all of it.

Luckily I had most of the first half already written, during whatever shitshow April was (April was a lot of coding for the paper, and then not having time to write my thesis). But THEN i had to organize all the data from my own personal experiments, make figures, and draft the entire results section. AND i had like two final reports to do for my class, so my last weeks of academia looked like....

Of course, the day before my thesis was due, I pulled an all nighter, because, of course. What other way would I ever end my academic career. Submitted it though, and I graduated! [LINK TO MY THESIS]

Also! I got vaccinated and felt like death for a whole day, but then my friend came over and we ate fried chicken and watched this show called Miraculous, which is a kids show from France, but for some reason is actually hilarious and really entertaining. Then I felt better, so I proceeded to work on my thesis.

Also, I guess I should talk a little bit about the class I took this semester, which was an industrial organization economics class. We looked at things like how different markets are organized, why they are that way, what market concentration means, how mergers affect competition, and what kind of effect that may impose on consumers. For the final case study (which, I will say, I wrote like 2000 words in a single day, so . applause for me), I looked at the Nvidia-ARM merger and how that may or may not affect competition in the GPU market, the CPU market, and the mobile chip market. I think my analysis was a little bit more surface level, which was fine for me, since I'm by no means an economics expert or even remotely should have any expectations at all, but I read a lot and learned a lot and that's the goal!

So yes, my brief excursion into the field of economics was overall positive, I feel like I learned a lot and now I can read financial articles about the tech industry and not be completely lost, which, again, was the goal.

But yes, May was a lot of work, and once it wrapped up, I got to spend a lot of time with friends post-vaccination! After the 1 or 2 week mark after my second dose, I started going back to the gym, especially to play basketball with folks, which I had missed a lot. I spent a lot of time at my old dorm just hanging out, and got to have a cute salmon dinner over at my other friend's place. And we made cheesecake too.

June (MA->NY->MA->CA)

I finally went to visit my best friend in New York. I hadn't seen her in > 400 days, so it was really a very anticipated event, except we saw each other across the crosswalk, but then the light took like five minutes to turn green, so it was really anticlimactic. Anyways, we ended up bumming around New York and Long Island for a week, and it was nice to spend some time with her after such a long gap.

We spent a day at a vineyard and I fell asleep so

After getting back to Boston, my mom came back from Taiwan to help me move out of my apartment. It was a lot of finding people to sell things to, sweating because it was very hot that week, and praying everything would work out (it did). I also got to have a few final meals with various friends and my mom and I got to take one last lark down the Infinite, which I was really grateful for because it was the first time visitors got to go inside campus in over a year.

Also got into my school's MBA program! Yes i applied to a deferred program (which is like you get into a program, but you don't have to go for 2-5 years, as a way of getting in right after undergrad/grad school, but then accumulating some work experience first). It was hilarious, I was literally shopping in my campus store for a new sweatshirt and I got a phone call from the admissions office saying I got in. My mom had been pushing me to apply to grad programs, and I didn't tell her about it because I didn't know if I would actually follow through. But I got to surprise her with the news, and she was so happy she did the whole "calling all the relatives" thing again.

After flying home, I told myself I'd read more and exercise more, which I have been doing. I got a membership at Planet Fitness, which has been really good for me (going 3x a week), and I've made my way through at least 5 books this summer so far. My holds list at my local library is literally insane. (For recs, I recently read Normal People, which I absolutely devoured, and In the Dream House, which hit really hard for me.)

This summer was also really about reconnecting with high school friends. All three of us were unemployed, with plans to come in the fall, so we were all free to hang out all the time. We started out at the local library planning out a road trip, and we worked out a few times together, and a few coffee dates too. We took a fun day trip down to LA one day, and we visited Malibu, went to the Getty, hit up some local food places in the city. Driving down the PCH with Taylor Swift blaring and the windows down on a hot June day, just hits so different. There is nothing like it.

My friend's birthday was in June, so we put together a little video for her and bought some jewelry, and had a Zoom call to celebrate. Then I got BBQ with some friends and sat in the parking lot eating ice cream until 11 at night just trading stories from our pasts. It felt like the perfect summer life, just staying out until whenever, grabbing food wherever we wanted, with friends I had had for literally a whole decade.

It was already a really good summer, but then July. July was crazy.

July (CA -> MI -> CA -> NV -> CA -> WA -> OR -> CA)

So one Sunday morning, I woke up to a text

Actually, I'm going to do a separate post on the whole Michigan trip because that sh** was on another level of spontaneous, impulsive, crazy life stuff. But anyways, so July started off with a trip to Michigan to visit my friends, and then I came back for the 4th, had 36 hours of rest before my high school friends and I went on a road trip.

This road trip was a little ambitious. We hit spots all up California, from hiking in Sequoia Nat'l Park to Kings Canyon, driving up to Sacramento and visiting art museums, and then going up to Tahoe but staying in Nevada, going kayaking and hiking and sitting on the beach for hours. It was reallllllly hot, but luckily I don't think it ever broke 90 degrees. The views were beautiful, especially at Kings Canyon. The drive in, you're surrounded by huge rock walls, with a thin river rushing by next to you. The hike itself literally feels like you're in nature, like the trail is somewhat defined but not paved, there are no sounds of traffic, the path isn't heavily trafficked so we were the only ones there for the most part. We even saw a deer and washed our faces in the river. Throughout the whole thing, we climbed into so many waterfalls, trying not to slip on rocks.

I hadn't been to Sacramento in over a decade, but it was a cute day trip. There isn't a ton to do there, but it was a nice reprieve from the constant driving and nature. We visited the Leland Stanford Mansion, the Crocker Art Museum, and Old Town Sacramento. A good chance to get a nice coffee, a sit-down meal, and some air conditioning. At Tahoe, we went kayaking on Pope Beach, with the clearest water I have ever seen, followed up by a hike up to a beautiful view of the Lake.

On our way back, we stopped at a lot of interesting places, like small towns like Lee Vining, where we found an Upside Down House; Manzanar, the site of an old Japanese internment camp during the WWII era (which also hit hard); and Randsburg, a literal living ghost town. Overall, getting to travel with my friends finally was so fun, they were so much fun to be around for five days, and getting to explore so much of California was so fun - even though I'd been here for so long, I never knew these places existed.

So I came back and had around 48 hours to recover before my mom and I took a trip up to the Pacific Northwest!

I've always wanted to visit Seattle, and figured I'd hit Portland on the way too. We originally wanted to go to Hawaii but it got so expensive by the middle of the summer, so we decided to stay a little closer to home (probs the better decision bc I was already so tired by this point).

Seattle! Got to visit Pike Place Market many times, grab some coffee at the original Starbucks, see Mt. Rainier, and grab food with three friends! Also went to Bainbridge Island for a day which was SO cute - got to do an olive oil/balsamic vinegar tasting, which sounds so extra, but is actually really unexpectedly fun. At Starbs, I did a cold brew flight, which resulted in a rough night of tossing and turning for me, but I think it was worth it. Other things included the Pinball Museum, Space Needle, and Chihuly Glass Museum!

So I lowkey really wanted to visit Portland because I wanted to achieve a long-lasting dream of seeing an NWSL game in person. So I went to the Thorns Pride game!!

The Thorns fanbase is actually insane, I cannot express to you, like there's this whole fan section that actually did synchronized cheers and routines and was actually ROARING when they scored the entire game. I swear the audience was actually watching them at points instead of the match. Overall, the stadium was going crazy, like I thought I was at a tied Celtics-Bucks game with how loud it was in there. Also I swear, Ali Krieger made eye contact with me and waved.

In addition to that, Portland also has a huge rose garden, a nice Japanese tea garden, a lot of good donut stores and a huge bookstore, so all very up my alley. We also took a day trip to see Mt. Hood and more waterfalls!!

That's a summary of the SEA - PDX trip. Once I got home, my high school friends and I did not waste any time on reuniting to hang out - we went and played ball, grabbed lunch, and then coffee, and then did the same exact thing like two days later and watched a bunch of TikToks, and then spent a whole day at the beach to send my good friend off to medical school in Arizona. They somehow convinced me to go in the water and I got body checked by a wave.

Saw this sculpture on the beach and teared up a little

So proud of my friends for making it to med school, I am so excited to see them at their white coat ceremonies and beyond, I swear I will cry at every step of the way I'm so happy for them. Now that July is pretty much over, most of my fun summer plans are too, and I finally get a chance to catch my breath from that busy busy month. Spending a lot of time watching the Olympics and trying to muster up the motivation to start a fulltime job in < 1 month!!

Overall, I feel like I've been having a really solid summer given the year that was the covid year. I had a Lot of fun, literally probably two summers worth of fun consolidated into one. I think in the beginning of the year, I really wanted this summer to be good, and I didn't have a lot of set plans for the summer, even by the end of May. But somehow, things came together, like Really together, and I had the best summer of my life in this summer 2021. On top of that, I'm reading more than I have since probably middle school, I feel the most in shape that I ever have, I can DRIVE NOW. Only thing that would've made it better was if I got to go back to Taiwan to visit the fam, but unfortunately I can't go back because of strict travel restrictions there and they had a COVID outbreak too :/ I still got around 3.5 weeks of summer to go, so we'll see how the rest goes :)

[mayahavvke]

So like. I have a billion conflicting views of Taylor on my dash right now and as a conservative homeschooler (not by choice) I have barely listened to or know much of Taylor herself minus "I hate this song cause it's overplayed" and "this song is actually pretty good!" So I'm pretty lost wandering around my dashboard and trying to make sense of it all. Would you mind giving me the lowdown of your specific opinion?

okay so keep in mind i have a very very biased opinion that has only begun to change and mature in the last couple of years because for most of my life i was like “taylor can do no wrong!!!!!”

overall i am a fan of taylor and if i were to ever make it in the music industry i would want to model myself after her and specifically after her relationship with her fans. she donates to their gofundmes and sends notes and packages (there was the whole swiftmas thing a few years ago) and shows up in the most unexpected ways when she finds out what’s going on in their lives. i love the free meet and greets she does after concerts (people from her team go through the crowds and move people closer to the stage and pick out people who have never met her that are dressed up and invite them backstage after the show for food and a hangout with taylor) and a girl i know was actually chosen by her mom at the 1989 world tour to join taylor’s family in like the very front pit area and i think that’s so cool to have that kind of relationship with her fans. did i cry when taylor followed me on tumblr three years ago???? absolutely. and i didn’t shut up about it for months. 

she’s the artist who inspired me to sing and to write songs and now that’s what i’m going to school for and making my career. she’s the artist whose music has pulled me out of some really bad places and taken me to better ones. there’s this song called clean???? when she gave her clean speech and sang it at the 1989 world tour i sobbed so hard that the two girls in front of me turned around and asked if i was okay. i will always be grateful for the impact her music has had on me and how it has influenced me. she’s my music role model.

now that being said, i don’t agree with everything that she has done. i wish she was more vocal in politics and human rights issues and spoke out more with her beliefs i think she said once that she doesn’t want to influence anyone bc it’s her saying it and they think they have to agree???? but idk i think in this political climate and the turmoil that is in the world rn you have to use your platform to fight for change being neutral isn’t an option and if you’re not outraged then you’re not paying attention. i do see her side to it bc people (”swifties” - there’s a difference between a taylor fan and a swiftie in my opinion) tend to follow what she says blindly and put her on a pedestal to the point of ignoring that she has ever done wrong. i wish she didn’t use feminism only when it was important to her. i wish she went to the women’s march. i wish her feminism wasn’t so white. i don’t even know what to make of the whole kanye thing (i don’t really agree with her but i don’t really agree with kim either idk man) and i wish she didn’t try to play the obvious victim card you know what i mean??? she made that statement about how she never consented to being called “that bitch” or whatever or that music video and i totally get it but why didn’t you say that from the beginning???? when people bring up these points against her i can’t really say anything bc they’re right she’s not an angel and she’s not perfect and she can do better in my opinion.

that narrative of “oh she has a lot of boyfriends” and “if you date her she’ll dump you and write a song” is so boring and so tired i just roll my eyes when people bring that up bc like???? she’s lived almost half her life in the spotlight and she dated like a normal twenty-something would and she was basically crucified for it. there are actual criticisms you can have of her and point out but if you choose to bring up boyfriends it’s like. what are you even doing. same with the “she’ll sue you” joke bc i admire her for going through that sexual assault trial and counter suing for $1 just to show women everywhere that they can stand up for themselves and don’t have to be the assaulter’s victim forever.

i used to call myself a swiftie and i don’t anymore bc on the whole a lot of them just blindly idolize her and think she can do no wrong. taylor swift is a human being and some people like her and some people don’t and that’s fine but i think you have to be aware of issues on all sides. i stepped back last year a bit like i didn’t post about her on my main blog that much anymore bc i felt kinda guilty like???? i didn’t support her 100% in everything she said and did and according to the swifties that made me a fake fan and i didn’t deserve to call myself a fan and whatever. but what i’ve come to realize over the past year or so is that you can still be a fan of someone or something that’s problematic as long as you stay critical and recognize when and where they’ve done wrong. i still believe taylor is one of the best songwriters of this generation and we’ve seen her lyrics prove themselves over and over again in songs like all too well, mine, clean, this love, long live, enchanted, dear john (just the entirety of the speak now album tbh homegirl wrote it entirely by herself at 19/20) and so many others. and i think she’s an amazing performer like her shows go hard!!!!! i will probably always love her music and admire her artistry. but going forward i still have to stay aware of her faults (bc she does have the guys!!!) and form my own opinions outside of the ones that fans have invented of her and outside of the ones that media has invented out of her.

this is so long and i’m so so sorry i really didn’t mean for it to be???? i just have a lot of opinions lmao

#not spider man #taylor swift #zannatinuviel #ask