#god I just want everyone to watch good omens and UNDERSTAND IT

[lets-pretend-i-exist]

“Growing up queer can feel monstrous, and I need to see that on screen. When you get preached at that people like you go to Hell for what you are and the ways you want, you start to relate to the demons. When you’re taught the truest, most joyful parts of you are unholy, it’s fair to ask—why should I respect the authority of a system that hates me for reasons I can’t control?

You learn to disguise your desire, and it changes you. It changes you to choke down your feelings, to deny them, to believe that they are sin. You learn to pour them into the hidden language of love that arises between you and whoever you’re lucky enough to share it with, so you don’t learn how to say them aloud. (Their arrangement, “little demonic miracle of my own,” the fourth alternative rendezvous. This is what queer love has looked like for millennia: something beautiful and true, despite, despite, despite.) Unlike those whose love has only ever been legal, permitted, “normal,” “holy”—your relationship is inescapably shaped by the threat behind it.”

“Serpent of Eden, gardener cast from the garden, sculptor of starlight doomed to the pits of hell. You thought nothing would hurt worse than falling, and then you fell for him.”

“You can’t leave this bookshop, Crowley says, but he’s asking, don’t you want me?

Nothing lasts forever, Aziraphale says, but he’s saying there’s nothing I wouldn’t sacrifice for you.”

“This is the shit I’ve been waiting for all my life. When God abandons you, when you’re not sure what to believe in, who to trust—look at who knows you. Who sees you, and wants to know who you are.

Queer love isn’t neat. The closet isn’t just one thing. Love isn’t love isn’t love isn’t love. I’ve always hated that expression, because queerness should be normalised, not defanged.”

“He’s not a human, but he is queer: his love is forbidden, marginalized, at odds with the foundations of morality he’s been taught. And like many queers who get the opportunity to rise through the ranks of a discriminatory system, he thinks he can change it from the inside.”

“This is how human. There’s nothing of you I don’t want. You’ve got me. I want anything you’ll give me, as long as it’s you.”

“If Crowley could feel the Bentley go yellow, I can only imagine what it felt like to drive through hellfire to meet Aziraphale at the air base at the end of the world.”

-

I feel like I’m going to be sick: every paragraph of this post is one astute gut-punch after another.

It feels like the author has strung together all the nebulous pieces – pieces that draw a spot of blood when the curious observer pricks a finger on them individually – to form a somewhat gruesome answer that one feels should have been obvious from the outset. Electricity pulses through the remnant parts and they roar to life in terrifying glory.

I’m thinking about Troye Sivan singing “if I’m changing a part of me / maybe I don’t want heaven.” I’m thinking about “the only heaven I’ll be sent to / is when I’m alone with you.” I’m thinking about six thousand years of codes and handwritten notes and meeting on the top of buses, and in art galleries, and at concerts and St James’ Park and all of it necessarily taking place in the background. I’m thinking about everyone else being able to see it clearly but those involved being unable to give voice to the precious, peaceful, fragile existence that we have carved out for ourselves. I’m thinking about Neil calling this season “quiet and gentle and romantic” and that being true but also so completely deceptive.

Season 2 did break me in a way that I don’t think any media, even intrinsically queer media like Sense8, has done before. It didn’t just take up residence in my mind for every spare second of the day. It took me weeks to even mostly recover from the complete decimation it enacted on much of my mind and heart. And in a terribly conceited way, the more I think about it (beyond the profound power of the media itself), this is because I relate to Aziraphale in terms of my past and I relate to Crowley in terms of my imagined future. My present self sits somewhere in between.

Aside from the whole concept of gender representation and presentation — an even more complicated matter than this — I see my past self as like Aziraphale, desperately trying to reconcile who I knew I was and what I knew I wanted with the system and community that I was embedded in. Wanting to believe that people could change their minds if I just compromised enough, just went slowly enough, just worked diligently enough and conformed enough.

I haven’t quite reached the point I want to be: somewhere nearby to Crowley’s position – of shrugging off the whole system and edifice, ripping up the ending, leaving nothing but freedom and choice. I’m not there yet; still clinging to some naive, vague notion that there is any level to which one can compromise one’s own self for the palatability of others without effectively rejecting the self entirely.

I think that seeing this dichotomy presented in s2 like that, converging suddenly, ultimately collapsing in on itself, felt like something breaking within me. These lies and half-truths we tell each other, these stories we use to get through the day — that abrupt loss, realising these choices are fundamentally incompatible… in a non-suicidal way, that loss was internally reminiscent of the fate of Neil Gaiman’s 24/7 diner. When all that artifice and self-soothing is stripped away and one is forced to reckon with what little remains, how will the gap be filled? What will one choose to do? Bury the self or forsake the system?

#ramblings #good omens #this becomes borderline incomprehensible and I’m aware of that #I still have a lot of feelings #queer things #little demonic miracle of my own #god I just want everyone to watch good omens and UNDERSTAND IT #to SEE it the way I and many other queer people do #also ‘bury the self’ gives a new spin to bury your gays #I’ve put this on the wrong blog but whatever

[eviebane]

This Ineffable Husbands fanfic has literally changed my life

I'm talking about this on Tumblr because 1) I love you guys and 2) it IS Good Omens relates and 3) it's nice to talk to strangers when you're still sort of figuring things out.

For over a decade I have self-identified as bisexual; made it a proud and visible part of my identity. But there's always been this thought bugging me that maybe I was asexual.

And look, I knew nothing about asexuality. I just knew I didn't feel the same as everyone else about sex. I write sex, I have sex, I am capable of enjoying sex! So surely asexuality is off the table?

OK so I do my research and realise it's a spectrum. I read about all the different labels and I can't find one that fits. When I discovered what 'bisexual' meant I immediately thought 'yep that's 100% me' and I was expecting the same light bulb moment, but it never came.

I've thought about it a lot for years and never came up with an answer.

Then two days ago I stumbled upon this goddamn fanfic of aspec Crowley. It was like reading my own thoughts!!! I keep reading, half hoping this fanfic will finally tell me WHAT I AM

But it didn't, not really. And it made perfect sense.

The paper-quilling metaphor - oh God it was like watching the puzzle pieces come together. I adored Crowley's lack of real interest in trying to label himself, and the journey from 'putting up with' sex to asexual celibacy to misunderstood seductions and to FINALLY finding a way that works

I just. I could write an essay about the things I love about this fic and how it helped my thought process. Because the #1 thing that helped me was seeing everything put in perspective, beyond labels and definitions

I don't want to label it anymore beyond aspec. I never wanted a label, really. What I've been searching for was just to understand what it was, or if what I felt was even real. A dictionary definition couldn't give me that, but seeing my own thoughts in this fic? Fuck. Yeah it's real

So, after I finished reading it, I discussed this fic with my partner and it was the first time I could explain how I feel in a way that made sense.

Being bi is still a part of me & always will be, but now I have this new part - well, not new. It's an old part of me that I've kept hidden for a long time because I thought it was broken and messy. Now, I look forward to wearing two colours at Pride next year

@missgiven Thank you for writing this fic ❤️❤️❤️

TLDR: fanfic made me realise I'm aspec

#good omens #good omens fanfic #asexuality #asexual #eviebane #also: why queer representation in film and literature matters

[sighed-the-snake]

Gun LOADED!

Many people are looking to the bullet catch scene to theorize that Aziraphale is going to fake Crowley's death in the next season, but I think there's another compelling scene from S1 that we should be looking at.

The one with the paintball guns, from S1.

Norm, from management, has a YELLOW cloth tied around his arm, as does the rest of his platoon. Yellow is known to be associated with Aziraphale, and by extension, angels. But I don't think this manager is representing Aziraphale. I think he is meant to represent Crowley.

"I wanted to be a graphics designer," he says. "Design LPs for the Rolling Stones."

Crowley was a graphics designer, of a sort. He made beautiful nebulas. I also think Crowley worked for management and held a high position.

"But the careers teacher said he hadn't heard of them. So I spent 36 years double-checking form BF-18."

The careers teacher is probably God. I get the feeling people in Heaven did not understand or appreciate Crowley's cleverness, didn't understand his work. Crowley was more of an artist than a bureaucracy guy. I wonder if becoming friends with 'Lucifer and the Guys' afforded him some professional freedom, a way to get away from form BF-18, as it were. Maybe Lucifer was his boss and allowed him to do whatever his little heart desired because having a clever subordinate who pulled off such complex work made him look good.

"They couldn't just say, 'Oh, Norman, we're giving you early retirement. Have a watch, bugger off and tend to your marigolds."

The mention of tending to marigolds is interesting here.

The British have something called gardening leave.

From wikipedia, "Garden leave (also known as gardening leave) is the practice whereby an employee leaving a job – having resigned or otherwise had their employment terminated – is instructed to stay away from work during the notice period, while still remaining on the payroll."

It's a sort of limbo period between leaving the company and no longer working for them. You don't go into the office, you're not allowed to contact your former business associates, but you're still getting paid, and you're expected to respond if they call you for assistance. Gardening leave could be a short period of weeks or months to let things calm down before you return because you screwed up, or it could be a prelude to getting fired, or forced into retirement.

Gardening leave sounds an awful lot like what Crowley has on Earth. He was literally sent to a garden to do a job, and he does not return to Hell after. He remains. He lives a posh life with a expense account and a lot of freedom compared to other demons. Furfur remarks on the unfairness of it. Crowley appears to be given assignments once in a while but otherwise I don't think much is expected of him - again, compared to other demons. We've seen the way they're crammed in down there.

(Why he's on gardening leave is a speculation for another day.)

"Well, if they want war," Norm says, knotting his RED necktie around his head, "we're going to give them war. Okay, guys, let's get the bastards."

Clearly, this is when Crowley in Heaven says to himself, "Fuck it, I hate these guys, let's brawl."

And then he turns around and is promptly shot in the heart by the RED team.

He staggers dramatically. He falls. We see the life leave his eyes.

Except it's a trick. One that Norm is not privy to. He thought he was dead as much as everyone else.

But Norm raises his head and looks, bewildered, at the bullet hole in his pocket. He's made a miraculous escape. It mirrors the age-old TV trope of having some hard metal thing in his pocket to deflect the bullet.

In a way, I think this is supposed to represent Crowley's fall from Heaven that he did not see coming, but with S2 and the bullet catch adding context, I think this entire scene holds more meaning.

The thing is, part of writing a good story is including echoes of your theme.

Every single romantic relationship in Good Omens mirrors Crowley and Aziraphale in some way (I'll write more on that later, probably).

Adam and his friends being reflections of the Four Horsemen.

The bookshop being an echo of Eden. The repetition of the "leaving the garden" theme at the end of both seasons, with S1 burning down the bookshop, and S2 with Crowley and Aziraphale leaving it behind.

Twice now, once in each season, there has been a theme of bullets, of getting shot, of miraculously not dying, and no one expecting it.

I'm pretty confident that in S3, Supreme Archangel Aziraphale is going to have his hand forced. He's going to have to execute Crowley for something he has done to meddle with Heaven's plans. And I think Aziraphale is going to have to pull a fast one with very little planning to fake his boyfriend's death.

I can picture it now, with Aziraphale saying something ridiculous to the crowd of witnesses like, "FLAMING SWORD LOADED!" to drop the hint, and the crowd sighs inwardly over what an idiot Aziraphale is, but Crowley looks at him like, "What the fu- oh, we're doing a bullet catch."

#good omens #good omens meta #good omens analysis #aziracrow #aziraphale #crowley #Fell the Marvelous makes for a terrible executioner

[autistic-skeletons]

Good Omens season 2 is about what religious trauma does to indoctrinated people, and here’s why.

so i finally watched Good Omens after my friends BEGGED me to ever since the first season first dropped and even though the ending stabbed me in the balls repeatedly for several hours i can’t help but marvel about how genius the ending really is and how crucial it is to both Aziraphale and Crowley as characters

i was hesitant to watch this show bc i was indoctrinated and conditioned by evangelicalism from birth (i’m literally the kid of two ex-missionaries and my dad was a chaplain for 36 years) and i knew that i could easily get triggered if i wasn’t careful.

i’m so glad i watched this show. there’s many reasons but i really just wanna talk about the ending of s2 aka The Divorce. it went entirely over my friends heads bc none of them grew up in the church but when i watched the ending it felt like i was watching pieces of myself at war with each other even though they didn’t want to be. to me, i was watching two people so broken by heaven and hell that they don’t understand that what they’re doing is hurting themselves more than it’s hurting each other. this is a pretty long ramble so i’ll continue under the cut

Aziraphale and Crowley are two halves of the same coin (literally soulmates) and are narrative foils to each other. obviously right, i mean, everyone noticed that. but what they truly represent in the grand scheme of things is the fallout of religious trauma. Crowley has seen the absolute Worst of heaven and the angels. he’s been outcast, scorned, and tortured for (assuming based on the opening scene of season 2) simply asking questions and questioning his faith. Aziraphale is the poster child of what a good angel is in the eyes of heaven and has reaped the benefits for millennia.

what is happening here is a war between two halves of a whole, Denial vs Bitterness.

as a young child it was drilled into my head over and over that my faith had to be as strong as a rock all the time or i would crumble like sand. i idolized all the bible characters and memorized all the verses and did all the good and right things i was supposed to. i was a standard in all the churches i went to, i was the example of what a good christian was, and i knew it.

then, over time, i began to see behind the curtain on what was really going on in the church and i was devastated. how could something based on love do all of that? why am i so scared to think freely? why do i feel like i can never be good enough? the more i questioned the more shame i felt and the more bitter i became, but i longed to go back to that innocence of being the best little christian kid in the church.

Aziraphale cannot truly comprehend the uncomfortable reality that what he’s been subscribing to all this time isn’t good for him. heaven has been hurting him for a long time and he doesn’t understand that. how can something he thinks is so right, so true, so good hurt him and his friends so much? no, it must be something he’s done right? it must be some bad apples right? the whole orchard can’t be bad right? he just has to fix this. he just has to make it better for him and for Crowley and then everything will be ok again.

Crowley can’t wrap his mind around why Aziraphale cares so fucking much. hasn’t he seen what heaven and hell have done? they barely stopped the end of the fucking world!!! they tried to destroy both of them with holy water and hellfire!!!!! they’re still trying to meddle in their personal lives after everything!!! why is Aziraphale so stubborn???? why does he choose something so asinine over him? Crowley has been there for Aziraphale a hell of a lot more than heaven has, can’t he see that?

both of them are hurting deep down into their very souls and they just can’t see it. that’s what religious trauma does to you. it strips you so bare of your personhood that without your religion, who are you? without your god, you’re just an empty shell. you’re nothing without “us”, without the church.

without Aziraphale trying and failing to fix heaven, he’s never gonna understand how corrupt of a system it all is.

without Crowley learning that Aziraphale is hurting just as much as he is, he’s never gonna learn that Aziraphale really had his best intentions at heart and just wanted to do what he thought was the good thing

without both of them realizing that they’re both wrong, they’re never gonna come together and really stand up for themselves and for their friends and for earth as a whole. without this grief, without this pain, without this separation, they’re never going to be truly free

and i, for one, cannot wait to see them kick some ass when they decide that enough is enough

#this show is so good i’m so glad i watched it #good omens #good omens season 2 #crowley #aziraphale #ineffable husbands #ineffable divorce #aziracrow

[marvelwifesupernaturalmistress]

So I just finished Good Omens recently and I have a couple things to say and my family and friends are so done with my rants about different movies and TV shows.

1: Holy shit that was a good show! I honestly didn't expect much from the show but holy shit it blew me away with how good it was. It was comedic and I found myself laughing so much and it was so beautifully written the characters are just top tier amazing and wow what I'd give to just continuously rewatch it as if it's my first time watching it.

2: I watched supernatural and I thought wow never gonna find another show like this. One that brings me joy and sadness then I found this fucking wonderful amazing show! AND it made me even more sad like what the fuck how do I keep coming across shows that cause me so much fucking pain. Also can we talk about the parallels between the two shows. Oh look two characters working together to stop the end of the world one a demon and one's an angel, counting Dean a demon solely for this post plus demon Dean did exist, both are oh so obviously in love with each other but neither will admit it, most of the angels are dicks and we all hate metatron, there's a demon named Crowley and many more. I mean look at the similarities between Dean and Crowley. Both are in love with their angel best friend, both are absolutely in love with their car, love classic rock, both are some sassy bitches, both don't want to show their emotions but are big softies, and are both the better looking person in the couple (in my opinion). Then look at the similarities between Aziraphale and Crowley. Both are angels in trench coats who are in love with their best friend, they are manipulated, complicated, traumatized, beautiful angels, both have trouble understanding (some) human expressions, and both struggle with their loyalty to heaven. Also, is it just me or does the first like 10 seconds of End Titles- the one that got left in the car from Good Omens kinda sound like it could be a beginning to a Supernatural opening credits or is it just me?

3: My God David Tennant is FINE like I've seen his face sometimes haven't really seen him in much and was like ok yeah he's attractive and moved on. But then I saw him in this and I'm like wow now I get what everyone's talking about. Like just ahhh this man is fucking attractive! I'm honestly ashamed of myself for taking so long to realize.

4: So TikTok in all its wonderfulness blessed/cursed me with a bunch of Good Omens content the day after I finished watching good Omens. Including a looooooooot of people cosplaying as Crowley. And may I just say the people who cosplay him are fine as fuck! I mean it's really hard to dress up as Crowley and not look attractive I mean Crowley is a style icon. But holy shit the people are so fucking good looking like I just can't. My sexuality does a nose dive off the empire state building when looking at them. I was talking to a friend about it and she said it's a case of wanting to be with them or be them and I disagree. I want to be with them all. Just holy shit you want to look good dress like Crowley you'll look fantastic.

5: The effect this show has had on my life is insane. I have been obsessed with listening to Queen since I finished the show. Which I'm not complaining about at all they were my favorite and still are my favorite band before I even watched the show. I have barely listened to something that wasn't Queen or songs from the show since I binge watched the show. I'm listening to another one bites the dust while typing this. Once again not complaining. Also, did anyone else want to dye their hair like Crowley's when they finished the show? Cause I do. I have been blonde my whole life and never wanted to change it and now I want it red. And I need to know if I'm alone in this or not to determine how alarmed I should be.

6: They had no right making the relationship of Crowley and Aziraphale they way they did. First they made them friends who obviously were in love with each other but hid it then they give us them acting basically as a married couple being so fucking adorable and me just wanting the type of love they have for them to give us that ending of season two! I'm not gonna lie if my dad wasn't up and calmed me down I either would've spontaneously combusted from my literally shaking anger or went on a spree. Not sure what type of spree but a spree of some kind.

7: How all of you wonderful people didn't riot or harm Neil Gaiman is beyond me. First when season 1 ended y'all had to wait 2 years to even get a green light that there was gonna be a season 2 and then another 2 for it to finally come out. And then for the season final of season 2 to happen where then you had to wait even longer for season 3 to be greenlight is just you all have a greater will power than me. I'm coming into this with two seasons and a third confirmed so a round of applause to y'all. And now I completely understand why I kept hearing people say they hated Neil Gaiman and stuff like that.

And finally on a somewhat unrelated note I'm planning to watch Doctor who since I'm about to finish another show where can I find it and what order do I watch it in? I've heard many different answers on the order.

Thanks everyone for coming to my rant y'all are wonderful and everyone have a wonderful day!<3

#good omens #david tennant #dean winchester #castiel #aziraphale #aziracrow #crowley #crowley x aziraphale #doctor who #queen #neil gaiman #supernatural #michael sheen

[weird-little-book-lover]

The Moment A Demon Became A Human

It’s not supposed to be like this.

Throughout season one and 90% of season two, Good Omens is a wonderfully fanciful, intelligent, story of the battle of good and evil.

Collectively, our favorite character tends to be the unnamed character: the energy between Aziraphale and Crowley.

This is why you always see cosplay with both characters and never just one.

The actual cosplay is the energy between the two.

Good Omens is a show that allows us to escape into a universe that reflects back the beauty of humanity in all its imperfections. A show that says:

“Heaven and Hell be damned, it’s humanity that creates the meaning of life.”

A show that reminds us what it means to love someone because you so deeply understand them.

Everything changed in an instant in season two’s final episode. (oi, spoilers ahead).

I wasn’t ready. The switch was so fast.

He’d been a demon with a heart of gold and a sharp wit for four years. Longer, if we’re talking about the book.

For me, the joy of Crowley has been that he really sees everyone for who they truly are and, despite being a demon, he accepts each person as such. No judgment, just acknowledgment and dry humor.

And then he realized.

He’d been pushing it down. Ignoring it. Though I suspect he was more aware than Aziraphale, Crowley had a sense it was there, but he was managing it.

Throughout season one we see Crowley have moments of softening to help Aziraphale process change and loss. To help when Aziraphale’s angelic view of the world becomes cracked by outside forces (and the ever-present threat of Armageddon).

At the end of season two, a pair of mere morals break Crowley’s defenses by naming what he has never dared to: He loves Aziraphale more than anything else in the known universe.

He never smiles again.

His almost cartoonish face has transformed. He looks at Aziraphale without his eyes darting about. Without his bored fidgets. Without his annoyed skulking. Without his eyebrows arched dramatically.

In 30 seconds of screen time, he has become human.

His face is calm. It is real. And it is hurting. He has to try. He’ll likely fail, but that’s never stopped him before. For us watching, it is haunting.

Crowley takes a leap of faith.

Have you ever deeply loved someone and had to take that leap of faith where you let go of all your fears and hope to God the other person catches you? It’s such a core part of the human experience, and yet 9 times out of 10 it is a leap that ends in a fall.

This is what Crowley does. He takes the leap. He confesses, voice cracking, everything in him breaking, that all he wants, all he needs, is Aziraphale.

Yet all Aziraphale can see is that he only has value if Heaven accepts him.

A Hail Mary.

As Aziraphale argues they’ll be happy together in Heaven, and Crowley tries to explain why they can’t exist inside a system not built for them, Crowley is overtaken by emotion and tries one last Hail Mary.

He rushes to Aziraphale and pulls him in for a kiss that is symbolic of everything Crowley is offering. All the love, passion, and commitment to always be there for Aziraphale.

Always. All ways.

Aziraphale rejects this gift with the quiet response “I forgive you.”

While everyone else is talking about the kiss, it’s the moment after when Crowley sighs that hit me.

It's the sigh for me.

It’s a sigh of resignation.

He’s buried this for so long, and now he must bury it once more.

Crowley can see Aziraphale loves him back, surely he can feel it, but he’s always seen the world and creatures in it very clearly. Aziraphale, much like Nina, is still struggling with a toxic relationship. There is no room for Crowley. And this time, Crowley can’t help him. Aziraphale must rescue himself, or resign them both to a loveless existence.

Aziraphale makes a very human mistake. Crowley reaches a very human depth.

It’s not supposed to be like this. A fanciful show just killed our favorite character.

And it did so by becoming human, first.

#good omens 2 #good omens #david tennant #neil gaiman #wally darling #good omens spoilers #good omens season two #good omens crowley #good omens aziraphale #michael sheen #anthony j crowley #ineffable husbands #crowley #aziraphale #nina sosanya #gabriel #maggie service #beelzebub x gabriel #jon hamm #good omens s2 #ineffable fandom #good omens season 2 #Shelly Conn #Quelin Sepulveda #muriel #immortal husbands #these two #ineffable partners #ineffable spouses #go2 spoilers

[sonkitty]

The Earthly Objects Game (Good Omens 2)

Find the newest Earthly Objects material here: The Earthly Objects Game ... "You can't just manifest and cause trouble, there are rules." -Crowley, Good Omens 2, Episode 5 (The Ball)

(Crowley was blurry from the back when he really said that so the above screenshot is from the lines right before)

This post was last updated 01/10/2024.

Much of this post is some heavily involved theorizing. However, the Threshold Tricks existing actually supports a lot of this theorizing. I make mistakes nonetheless. Please keep that in mind. I am still confident in the Threshold Tricks, if nothing else.

The Game

This story has rules or at least some notable patterns resembling an expected script from its characters. We're going to call them "rules" for now and acknowledge that rules can and most certainly will be broken.

Crowley and Aziraphale have a heightened awareness of these rules compared to everyone else, at least in the present day and in this story. I will be focusing my attention there since the minisodes are more difficult to follow for me. Who made the rules? It could be them or God or a book or game they've been put into. I refer to this thing as a game because that's more my understanding of it than what it actually is. Most characters aren't really playing. They follow the rules on instinct.

Even season 1 has certain resembling factors to this game that I found. God at least did use the phrase "ineffable game" herself.

Both Crowley and Aziraphale are experts, but Crowley is astoundingly impressive at how he plays this game.

I call the game Earthly Objects due to the use of that phrase in episode 1 and the touching even shown during that segment. Plus, of what the mechanics of this game seem to do. If this game has another name, it is The Rule of Three, or something like that. The number 3 is vital to this game.

Points

The way the game seems to work is that, for a great deal of the story, it wants 3 points to start a scene. Some scenes even get chains of three points, but such chains are quite hard to spot.

When two characters interact, the story usually wants each of them to earn one point of that given set.

When it comes to a solo scene, the story still wants 3 points from that one character.

Points are simplifying things, and even simplified, they are dependent on context, timing, and placement around thresholds.

Things grow ever more complex with more characters involved.

Earthly Objects

Earth has objects, often thought of by humans as tangible objects. In this story, earthly does not mean solid, and touch does not mean direct skin or clothing contact. They are the most easily evident and likely common methods. The touch depends on how it is done and the nature of the object in question. Checking a watch for the time is an earthly object touch because that is how you use a watch on Earth.

We see three earthly objects in the show's opening before Earth even exists. Those objects are a crank, a scroll, and a book. One of them, the book, is touched through a supernatural method but still touched.

One touched earthly object is equal to one point. It can be held during a character interaction and still count in many contexts.

These are basic earthly objects, for a few examples; see more at the end:

Chairs

Windows

Tables

Walls

Books

Mirrors

Cups

Doorknobs

Bodies of living natural beings (humans and goats for example)

Blurs

Blurs seem to indicate a possible pass or share when studying how windows work.

When a character is blurred, that seems to mean a pass or that the next clear view of them will confirm the results of their touch during the preceding blur.

Thresholds

Thresholds are largely understood to be doors.

Most characters in Good Omens 2 will not concern themselves with the intricacies of only the door part that serves as the door. They'll just use the doorknob, get their point, and move on—provided the camera saw it, that is.

This story has other non-door thresholds, such as the edge of the sidewalk.

Crowley, one of the show's two main characters, does concern himself with the above-mentioned intricacies. It goes well beyond anything we see other characters do in the entire season. For example, he is capable of doing what I have decided to call Multiplicative Threshold Tricks.

Here is a post I made on the subject:

Earthly Objects Study - Multiplicative Threshold Tricks (Good Omens 2).

These are an incredibly special type of set compared to how the usual points are earned on earthly objects themselves. If the points system really is as simple as 3 total for one set, then the Threshold Tricks require a minimum of 6 points due to their involvement with thresholds.

Aziraphale may not manipulate thresholds on the same level, but he is aware and involved in at least some of the Tricks. In fact, at the story's end, he actually has his own part to play after The Door Trick is complete. I believe it is supposed to be called The Door Catch.

To further clarify and return to other matters, characters can touch earthly objects on thresholds, such as doorknobs, door handles, push plates, shades, windows, mirrors, the astragal for double doors, and so on. The panel serving its function as mainly the door itself is different. It can be touched...but it's not an earthly object touch. It is the threshold itself or enough of the threshold itself to not be considered earthly.

Thresholds seem to require certain timing that I definitely haven't watched every scene to log as if the interaction happened properly or not. The main thing I can say is that a lot of "Hello" lines happen while a character is crossing a threshold (or maintaining place in one), before the sound effect of a door closing completes.

Windows have a remarkable threshold component different from doors and will have a link explaining such further down.

Vary Technique

The story does not want the characters to use the same exact technique twice on the same type of earthly object touch to earn a point, in a different later scene. It can be similar but should have some variation. An easy example is Shax knocks on the window using her knuckles at Crowley’s car, then later knocks on a window to the bookshop with just an index finger.

I most certainly have not verified this, just noticed subtle variations when looking for these things. Crowley's Threshold Tricks have a pattern that I do believe is intended to be, "Never do the same trick twice."

Awareness

I'm convinced Crowley and Aziraphale are aware of the rules and making choices about them, but that doesn't mean they know every move they are making that is following the rules.

When Crowley shoots out lightning in episode 1, the lightning itself still actually follows the rules with three different touches on the door to the coffee shop. I don't think Crowley did that on purpose or even knows it happened. But it did happen.

Still, his choices in most, or at least quite a bit, of his movement during the story do appear to be deliberate choices.

Earth

The surface upon which characters stand and walk is the Earth. They can touch the Earth to earn a point, but it requires a little more effort, such as hopping. The hopping might require the feet touch the ground at different times.

Let's check in with our experts.

Crowley hops in place in episode 1 before shooting out lightning. He also hops while talking to Muriel before the scene ends in episode 6. In both cases, the feet do not touch the ground at the same time.

Aziraphale deliberately avoids a point in episode 6 when he makes sure to step backwards off a rug onto the floor in episode 6. No points for stepping backwards onto Earth. Or at least he didn't earn a point for walking partly on a rug.

When Crowley is walking on the sidewalk and passing by the coffee shop in episode 1, he does the following to earn two points, not even in the same set believe it or not. The first thing he does is rotate his body, such that his left foot is fully on the ground, but his right foot isn't. Instead, only the heel touches the ground. As such, he gets the point because the heel is touching the ground. He's not just standing. After he fixes the power, the camera shows that his left foot is already off the sidewalk and moving to the road. He gets a point for the step because he's not just walking on the sidewalk, then the road. He's stepping from the sidewalk to the road. It might help that the edge of a sidewalk is a threshold. His second step after crossing the threshold has the foot conveniently cut off from the camera.

What about running? The only example I can think of is Crowley running as he enters the bookshop but then he seems to shift into a skip. The camera doesn't see both feet fully the whole time though. So, for that one, I'm not really sure.

Clothing and Accessories

Clothing is regarded as enough of a character's self that just wearing clothes is not enough. They can earn points for touching their clothes actively during a scene, such as Nina touching her clothes while talking to Crowley in episode 5 after he comments on the name of her coffee shop.

Not any touch will do. It seems it also must be done in specific ways.

Crowley has a special way that he uses his pants pockets for The Pocket Trick. That way is really, really hard to understand. I can't keep up. However, from what I do understand, the threshold-only touch is not during the entire cut. There is a puzzle to solve and find the actual threshold-only touch within a given frame or few frames.

As such, when he's not at that exact point, he seems regarded as touching his clothes as an earthly object touch based on two interactions he has in episode 2.

In episode 2, he is walking with his hand in his pocket and thumb out. As he moves, the back of his jacket is touching over his hand. Soon after, Nina initiates an interaction with him. Not long after that, he's walking again and encounters Aziraphale. Crowley himself speaks. At that point, the touch comes from behind the hand.

Aziraphale, I think, puts his hands in and out of his pockets in episode 1, not instantly, so not sure if in, out, or both would count.

Accessories probably also depend on how and when they are touched.

Crowley’s sunglasses are a special type of accessory, so here is a post with more extensive info:

Earthly Object Study - Crowley’s Sunglasses (Good Omens 2)

In short, sometimes the sunglasses can be used as an accessory for the game but not always.

Due to how the story ends, I suspect the clothing and accessory rules are not as simple as just letting two interacting characters to touch only such things with a scene as extensive as the bookshop scene between Crowley and Aziraphale at the end of episode 6. The story cares about context, and there is some big time context happening in that scene.

Humans

Humans are earthly objects. As such, they can do self-touches, such as clasping their hands. Again, not any touch will do. It probably has to be done in a specific way, not that many humans would have this issue.

Maggie is the show's prime example as she uses this method quite frequently. She might be a special type of human based on other things we observe in the show, but the story considers her human enough to allow this method nonetheless.

Supernatural Beings

If a supernatural being is actively touching an earthy object, they can, like humans, do self-touches. I am sometimes not sure if they already can, but Crowley's self-touches during the ball invitations in episode 5 strongly suggest this idea is true. For when it seems like they are not touching anything, there is probably something else specifically within the scene that's allowing it anyway.

Miracle touches onto earthly objects are allowed. Crowley changing three traffic lights from red to green at the same time? That's an earthly object touch.

Supernatural beings are allowed reciprocal touches between each other, such as a fist bump or holding hands. Kissing is probably allowed though the one kiss shown has exceptional circumstances with a lot of other touching deliberately not happening.

Windows

Windows are easy to overlook because once you do take the time to study them in their more complex use, they are by no means easy to understand.

Here's a messy post about mostly a few more complex scenes involving windows:

Earthly Objects Study - Windows

Here is another one focused on how The Window Trick is done:

Earthly Objects Study - Windows Part 2 (Good Omens 2)

I didn't know it was The Window Trick when I wrote it.

Chairs

Aziraphale has a mysterious vendetta against the backs of chairs ever since Gabriel interrupted Aziraphale from listening to music. The chair he sits in when talking to Crowley about wanting help looking after Gabriel seems to be the main exception.

Aziraphale's got no visible back of a chair in the coffee shop or the pub, maybe other places, and even in the bookshop, when he is sitting in a chair, his back is not in the back of the chair most or all of the time. I don’t care enough to confirm every scene. It's weird.

This mystery suggests there is a point for the back to the chair that he is simply adamant to not earn. I am not sure if and how this is related to Varying Technique mentioned above.

There are plenty of other ways to earn points from chairs. It mainly needs to make sense for how a chair would be touched, such as using an arm rest.

Knock

Knocking on a window probably earns a point, provided the camera sees it. When Gabriel knocks on the door in episode 1? Not sure. The camera saw it, but the eventual response takes awhile. A blur might make it a pass. It's hard to tell.

Hands

Hands are complex and apparently there might be rules about the number of digits used on certain types of touches. If the touch is standard for one index finger and one index finger and thumb, it's probably fine.

Otherwise, generally check for at least 3 digits for one hand, at least 6 for two hands. Watch how the fingers are extended, curled, or consistency with each other. If you like trying to figure out this game, it actually does help you to see how the instinctual players still play differently from each other. Michael is far more likely to extend their fingers and use them broadly than Uriel, for example.

Crowley messes with this rule a lot. It seems he cares which touch is credited how. It’s not enough to earn points. It goes something like the park bench should earn the point so the newspaper can act as his own personal threshold until he decides otherwise.

Thumb tips are particularly important when it comes to managing thresholds.

I don't know if I'll ever figure the hand mechanics out fully myself.

Dialogue Points

Most interactions will not have both characters touching something. Instead, the characters follow dialogue patterns for the other points.

They tend to go something like the following:

Hello

Questions

Names

Statement of Place (might just be an extended form of "Hello")

Foreign Language

Combinations of hello, names, and questions are common. Two questions might even be enough for two points.

Hello

When Aziraphale enters the record shop for the first time in episode 1, he touches the window of the door twice, and says "Hello Maggie," before the sound effect of the door closing completes.

When Maggie enters the coffee shop, using the doorknob, Nina says "Hello" while holding plates with cups and before the sound effect of the door closing completes.

Equivalents such as "Hi there," are allowed.

"Excuse me," the show's opening words, are probably also allowed.

Question

"Yes? Was that you?"

"Seats? Mr. Fell, where are the seats I dropped off for the meeting?"

"Who are you? Who sent you?"

"What are you doing?"

Names

Titles in place of names seem to be acceptable.

"I don't know why you invited me, Mr. Fell."

"Officer, I need to report a crime."

"Jim, I'll need eight battery-operated candles."

Statement of Place

“I’m here.”

“I’m back.”

“You’re back.”

“You’re in trouble.”

“Oh, we’re going to the pub! You never go to the pub!”

“We are at war! Finally.”

"I think you know why we're here."

Statements such as these seem to be regarded as a type of "Hello". "I'm here" is said by Gabriel once he's opened the doors to the bookshop and steps out. When Aziraphale says, "You came back," to Crowley in episode 6, the doors are still open and closed just after he says it. He is otherwise not touching anything, not saying a question, not saying a number, not saying a name, and not speaking in a foreign language.

When Shax says, "You're in trouble," the window is open.

The "We are at war!" line is after the doors are closed, but since Dagon is in the group with Beelzebub who enters with fire, that seems to be the acceptable form of an earthly object touch combined with this "Hello" from Hell.

Numbers

If characters can say numbers, and I am increasingly convinced they can, that's a lot they can get away with. Numbers are everywhere, just like names and questions.

Foreign Language

When watching the show in English, characters talking in a foreign language is, I think, touching an earthly object. It's significant enough that Mrs. Cheng never has to touch anything except a fan when she is at the ball and talking in English.

Groups

Blurs make this harder to understand now that I know blurs exist and seem to have some kind of pass or share effect.

The story's going to go by some level of context with who is in the scene.

For something like the scene in the bookshop with the powers of Heaven and Hell, those groups are of 3 or more characters.

For that it, seemed only one character from a group is required to initiate the interaction on a group’s behalf. In episode 6, Crowley represents himself and the four angels who came with him. He does a hello and a question through an open threshold. The touch will come soon but not yet. Aziraphale says, “You’re back,” and then gets to represent the group of him, Jim/Gabriel, Maggie, and Nina. Muriel, who was in the group with Crowley, closes the doors. Crowley touches Shax’s shoe while Shax is unconscious on the couch. As such, Crowley gets the earthly object touch on the couch through Shax or on the shoe thanks to Shax being on a couch. For all I know, he gets both.

Dagon, Furfur, and Beelzebub arrive. I think Beelzebub’s fire is supposed to be an earthly object touch for their group, and Dagon says, “We are at war!” If I’m right, this third group still needed an earthly object touch, possibly because the doors were closed by that point. Additionally, when Beelzebub awakens Shax with lightning, Shax ends up both touching the couch and having books fall on her, so she gets touches in as well.

Chains

Chains exist in this game, as already noted.

Sometimes you'll see the three points to start a scene, then you might actually see another immediate or at least relatively soon three points, and so on.

They are really hard to spot, so I'm skeptical it's a full-scale requirement for the game, but it's much more dominant than I realized. Or, the dialogue makes it hard to spot because some dialogue is allowed to carry on instead of the non-dialogue touches. I don't know why that happens for some scenes and not others.

The most obvious chain I've seen, that led me to believe they exist, is the scene between Crowley and Gabriel in episode 5 when Gabriel is fiddling with the lamp.

Upon first realizing there might be a chain there, I thought that might makes it one of the most real scenes to the story even if Crowley might have an underlying intent to draw out his own demonic energy there. That also came from observing some basic rule-breaking that I'll note further down.

Then again, maybe not. I believe the scene with Crowley shooting out lightning is part of a chain too, but it's far more complex because of the window. There are still some notably suspicious fake things happening in the background once Nina realizes she and Maggie are locked in.

Zoomed Touches

Do not trust these things at face value, even if they are mostly avoided in the latter half of episode 6. I think most of them are supposed to be valid, but there are at least two you should not trust before that point.

Don't trust the zoom on Crowley's sunglasses next to a plate of Eccles cakes, even if there are three fingers visibly and clearly picking them up. There was a fake Crowley before that, and even the real Crowley is only holding them with two digits initially upon exiting through the bookshop doors as he puts them on. After a human passes by, then he switches to holding the sunglasses with more digits. That human is the hint of where the fake sequence ends.

The other zoom to not trust is Crowley holding the box in episode 6. Once he turns that box over, his thumb is avoiding touching it on purpose. He has the index and middle fingers together with their tips. Meanwhile, the ring finger can be found on camera but is deliberately separate from the other two and not clearly showing its tip.

In both cases, I think touches likely happened, but those are supposed to be a way of the story telling on its own deception. Gabriel probably arrived with a cardboard box at least twice. In the first draft of the story, the message written on the box may have been different.

Illusionary Touches

These things are new to me since I only noticed them when studying pocket touches. In The Pocket Trick, Crowley can't just do an illusionary touch whenever or wherever. He has to meet certain requirements involving timing and framing.

Theoretically, if such things are allowed for earthly objects, they are not as strict. However, I don't have much to go on and never really noticed. I had assumed things you would know would be an illusion, would not actually count.

Crowley's Name

Crowley's name usage, or lack thereof, is just flat out odd in the whole story, but if there is a rule, it's something like neither Crowley nor Gabriel are ever allowed to say Crowley's name. No exceptions.

For Crowley, this theoretical rule applies to all time periods shown in the season 2 story.

For more on just how odd the usage is, please see my post here. Be sure to check my own reblogs to that post as well.

Players Section Link

Sideburns

I don't mention the sideburns much in this entire post since I have a whole other extensive post about them. However, they are relevant to this game in that whatever is going on with them uses the mechanics of Earthly Objects. Even so, it seems to be its own game with a scheme at work from both Crowley and Aziraphale. You can find more here: The Sideburns Scheme.

Rule Following

A fascinating example I've found of rule-following by Crowley and Aziraphale is when Muriel intrudes on them. I can’t fully explain the mechanics of the rules because like I said, I really do think Crowley is an expert at this game. Whatever is happening here is advanced stuff. I'm going to walk you through what he does to get this scene where it needs to go. He does it with style.

Before Muriel intrudes, Aziraphale had already made sure to have a cup of tea visibly touching his hands to start the scene in the room. Crowley poses to indicate he is touching a blurred stack of books in the room, even if Aziraphale's body obscures confirmation of that touch while Aziraphale closes the door. Crowley's left arm is shown as him placing a hand on his hip. During their conversation, Crowley's right arm keeps telling us he's still touching that stack and not moving away from it. Blurs, I believe at this point, allow a pass, and so this one seems to be allowing some kind of pass and then hold so long as Crowley keeps at it.

The story lets him without confirming that is the touch on camera. We are never going to see that confirmation. He displays his left arm and even says, "One fabulous kiss, and we're good," as if that's a clue he is allowed that one time to show that one arm until a certain thing is going to happen. That left arm returns to implying its previous touch as well.

Crowley has an earthly object prepared for the scene. He fully intends to give over those keys despite his grumbling. It might be very important that the car keys earn a specific point because they move the story along.

Ready for the pass, he has those keys in his left hand, skin contact and all, perhaps a little blurry on a camera from behind him, but still, he's got them.

Muriel opens the door, crosses past the threshold of this private conversation, and says, "All done?" No earthly objects. No hello. No knocking. We have an outright intrusion here! At least there was a question, but it might not have been enough due to what Crowley does.

Crowley pulls the keys back toward himself immediately. From the view behind Muriel, his pose is returned to match what it was when Aziraphale closed the door at the start of the scene even though Muriel's blocking the blurred stack of books.

Aziraphale's frustrated because of the rules. Crowley is going to do several things to handle this situation.

First, Crowley smiles and answers Muriel, then asks Muriel about being interested in humans being in love. That’s a question. Then he even stops Muriel from saying names. He's saying the names himself, so his implied hold with both arms might be allowing him to keep dragging out a lot of the dialogue until he gets what he wants. Assuredly, Aziraphale seeming to get quite turned on by this talk is about the love, but he's also watching the master of this game at work.

Eventually, Muriel brings out a notepad and pen. That's two earthly objects. Between both Muriel and Crowley, that interaction meets the requirements, regardless of the initiating question from the whole intrusion. Aziraphale has kept quiet the whole time though he at least smiles. Crowley's left arm readies itself for what comes next. His right arm is still implying the touch behind him.

Muriel's eyes move their attention from Crowley to the notepad. Spanning only a few frames after this shift, Crowley's blurred hand shows the keys for the touch and tosses the keys toward Aziraphale. Without checking frame by frame, it looks instant based on the notepad, not the eye movement from Muriel. He knew exactly what he was doing.

Aziraphale manages the catch, thankfully. You can tell he was nervous and is grateful. He winks. That gives one point to him for the keys in his hand and another point for the wink as a self-touch since he’s a supernatural being holding an earthly object. The pair need one last point.

Muriel's attention remains on their notepad for the entire toss.

Crowley's right arm maintains its implied touch throughout the entire scene, even after the toss is done. He does one last thing to close it all out. He gives a sour grimace to allow his cheeks an active touch on his new sunglasses. At least, I think that's how the sequence is intended to be.

So, my current guess is that the scene is three different interactions. The first is between Aziraphale and Crowley. They already had their points but the story doesn’t want just points (or, as noted, the implied touch may have allowed some kind of hold). Those keys needed a relevant pass between these two players. Muriel’s intrusion reset things, so that another interaction of three points between Crowley and Aziraphale was necessary.

Crowley takes over to be the one character to interact with Muriel, get them their own points without involving the keys in this intentionally isolated interaction. His precise timing is impressive. Then there’s the third sequence covered above (keys, wink, grimace). To help keep these interactions separate, Muriel should not see the pass.

Rule Breaking - Basic

Likely Fake Crowley, who is probably Aziraphale, passing a cardboard box and no dialogue is breaking the rules. Soon after is a blurry figure who I’m guessing is still a fake. The figure picks up sunglasses and avoids an obvious plate of Eccles cakes. These cuts are likely part of an edit. There are two earthly objects emphatically not touched. Gabriel is nowhere to be found, but the more clear fake had long sideburns. In the next bookshop scene, the plate has disappeared, and the cardboard box has been moved.

Crowley, Saraqael, and Muriel walking to the Heaven elevator is likely an edit because it also breaks the rules. There are no earthly object touches, no dialogue, and suddenly Michael and Uriel are in the elevator later. That one's probably obvious to others, but still. There were no touches is my point. Crowley didn't hop or run, and Saraqael never takes their finger off their joystick for their wheelchair. There were even avoided touches in the cut right before it. I have a gut feeling that Saraqael is not an expert but at least a little more attuned to these rules and would earn a touch point if they wanted. And Crowley certainly knows his way around on earning these points when he wants.

Rule Breaking and High Tier Play - The Final Fifteen

The rules of standard play and high tier play are contradictory, but I'm still going to say "rule-breaking" because I think it is important and fair in full context of what happens. There are touches, but things are still considerably different due to what is touched when. There is definitely a lack of touching on the number of earthly objects in the bookshop itself and even the street later.

Of the touches that do happen in the bookshop and street later, the kiss excluded, most of those are actually Crowley following the rules on the hidden higher tier of play on thresholds for his Threshold Tricks. You should read that link if you want to know more about what the tricks actually are.

The two main characters are the main ones breaking the rules though the Metatron is at least partially doing so as well. His play is completely off compared to everyone. Other characters will be shown, and they will be shown as still following the rules even though they have no further dialogue.

The rule-breaking seems to start when the Metatron looks toward the bookshop after talking to Muriel. If he's looking through a window, the story has decided we don't need a complex window scene then or during the entire conversation in the bookshop.

The first touch is a threshold-only one with Crowley removing his sunglasses. If my theory on the Sunglasses Trick is correct, that is actually the next-to-last touch Crowley is doing for the first of three Threshold Tricks that will complete by the end of the episode, after he completed two others before this latter half of episode 6.

However, the Sunglasses Trick is an extensive and questionable theory, even moreso than the tricks that follow it. What if it's wrong? Even if not wrong and partly for the trick to begin with, the nature of the touch is still notably different from the rest of the story and worth pointing out.

Threshold-only touches on the sunglasses have a general format that isn't like what is happening here. The sunglasses are usually detached from Crowley onto an earthly object if he removes them. If he does keep holding them or is not seen putting them on an earthly object, there are three preceding instances of a subtle demonic hiss to indicate he is using them as a demon addressing an angel, two of which happened in the present day with Gabriel.

Here, Crowley holds his sunglasses and will keep holding them until he puts them back on. There will be no demonic hiss. They are his door, and he is holding his door. They are emphatically not an earthly object or touching an earthly object by extension during his entire conversation with Aziraphale.

Both characters touch their clothes nervously but not in ways the rules seem to allow, such as how they manage their pockets.

Neither Crowley nor Aziraphale say hello or acknowledge that Aziraphale is back. Crowley skips straight ahead to having something to say that doesn't have the usual format. There is no name, no question, and so on. He even acknowledges they should be "talking about" and cuts himself off.

Aziraphale interrupts him, does include a question, but then actually answers it himself.

Most questions are given more care in allowing the other character a chance to respond.

Still, nothing they weren't already wearing is touched.

Soon after the usual initiating set of rules are broken, the cohesion of the story's narrative is broken. The present day has intentionally been moving the audience between one scene and the next to suggest events are following a given implied chronology and timeline of a few days. Gabriel arrived on Monday. Crowley looked exceptionally hot in a black turtleneck on Tuesday. Aziraphale went to Edinburgh on Wednesday. The ball was prepared for and happened on Thursday. They are currently experiencing things on this Friday.

We've had flashbacks since the start leading closer and closer to the present day, but not a single one of those flashbacks started in this manner of a present day narration to start the flashback. They've been memories playing out between the present day events. The other present day events have been mentioned in dialogue, not narrated. We go to a very recent scene that supposedly happened without us seeing it. Then Aziraphale chops it even more. "And I said, 'Me'? And then he said..." What kind of cut is that?! Broken I tell you. It's broken. Not with exact wording. I'm just pointing out the standard cohesion of the narrative before this point is emphatically broken here—maybe even on purpose. Even setting aside this game idea, we as the audience, are supposed to notice how jarring it is. It gives a heavy implication that Aziraphale is lying.

I question a lot of the dialogue throughout the scene, but it's too much for me and not really the focus with the touching and lacking touching.

Before the kiss happens, there is another threshold touch. Crowley puts his sunglasses back on. The thresholds to Crowley's sunglasses are the end pieces. He doesn't touch those as best can be managed but what he does touch is specifically the areas around them. Two fingers in front and back of each end piece with each hand. He is being protective of his door to the point he touched the thresholds of his own thresholds.

He could have chosen any number of other places to touch those sunglasses, but he chose there.

Additionally, this touch closes out the Sunglasses Trick, that started as far back as episode 1, if my theory on that trick has any merit. That is the first of his three Threshold Tricks for the end of the season. He started with opening both doors. Now he is closing both doors.

More dialogue is exchanged with no earthly object touches in between.

Finally, the kiss happens. By all appearances, it is an impulsive choice. Yet, that choice resembles a set if clothing touches were acceptable. Crowley grabs the lapels of Aziraphale's coat. That's touch #1. They kiss, and the kiss is reciprocated. That's touch #2. Aziraphale's hand touches Crowley's back with four fingers visible. That's touch #3. Aziraphale's nose might even be touching Crowley's sunglasses, but those things are a guarded door (so far as I'm concerned).

They make a connection with the kiss. This game is almost like a language they understand between each other. For me, the kiss is more about their love than rule-following or rule-breaking.

To remind themselves and/or us that rule-breaking is happening here, the scene immediately continues with an implied quick glance to the window by Aziraphale and continued rule-breaking in the dialogue ("I forgive you.";"Don't bother"). No further words are exchanged. Crowley leaves with a heavy implication of touching the door yet the doorknob is ever so carefully obscured from view as the sound effects inform us he left. Still, nothing they weren't already wearing was touched.

More happens. The Metatron returns, visibly using a doorknob, so there's an earthly object touch by him. However, everything's still a little off. Aziraphale happens to move his feet in specific ways around a small rug until there is a step backwards from it to the floor. He walks backwards onto a big rug, then does not move forward until the camera is no longer watching his feet.

The Metatron takes one hand out of a pocket to gesture toward a window, and the camera never shows when the hand goes back in. Muriel is shown through the window following rules, and while Aziraphale looks, the layout allows that he is not visibly behind the window pane where Muriel was either before or after the look.

Aziraphale manages to keep not touching earthly objects, mainly focus on his dialogue, make sure his feet move when they should move, and his arms and hands don't do too much. The Metatron isn't visibly touching or holding any earthly objects either. Both of them leave the bookshop without the camera actually showing the exit through the doors.

Crowley is shown standing at the door to his car, having positioned himself for his incoming trick.

Aziraphale and the Metatron talk some more. Then there is a miracle sound and a notable reaction from Aziraphale. He chances a look over toward Crowley.

When Crowley is shown in the third of three camera shots leading to that moment, he has completed The Door Trick. That is the second of his three tricks to finish in the episode.

Aziraphale has a follow-up chained in from that Trick that I call The Door Catch. I do believe the story intended to communicate that name due to how pocket touches work. They involve word play. The story had an extensive memory on The Bullet Catch in episode 4, so put the ideas together, and there you go.

Inside the elevator, there is one zoomed in touch of presumably the Metatron's finger on the button that could be the story meaning it is an earthly object touch. It's hard to trust with all the known deception in the story itself and how the touch doesn't happen with both his face and body on camera as is usually done with a doorknob for other characters. Such a thing was even shown earlier at the bookshop. Even if perfectly valid, the touch stands out. What is he, human? After studying pocket touches, which have a heavy human presence, I grow all the more suspicious he could be.

The Metatron was not shown crossing the threshold of entering the elevator, but Aziraphale is. The doors are not shown to close, but the implication from the music and sound effects is that they did. Aziraphale has successfully managed to still not touch any earthly objects himself. He is also framed in a specific way all-around that is related to pocket touch mechanics. I at least know what to look for, and I can tell you that his right arm is lined up with the Metatron's in a way that is significant because there is a vertex illusionary touch between them.

A little past that part being done, Crowley does The Window Trick. That is his third and final trick of the three of this latter half of episode 6.

Three Threshold Tricks for this part of the episode makes sense because of how much this game likes the number 3.

Once Crowley has those short sideburns again, something resembling earthly object touches starts. His blurred hand is shown gripping the steering wheel. Then the camera and frame he's in decide to hide it. Texture fades in over where he might be touching the passenger seat. A tiny bit of the driver's seat behind him is partly shown. The camera, lighting, and credits keep messing with the view.

Aziraphale just keeps standing and eventually smiles in a way that's not really encouraging, for me, when I'm sympathizing with Crowley. Admittedly, I do think Crowley has a strategy in motion, especially after examining his overall threshold manipulation during the story.

Whew.

Okay, time to move on.

Let's wrap up with some notes and a list. There is a bonus at the end saved for posterity. That was me starting to grasp at the first Multiplicative Threshold Trick.

Some Notes:

Skin contact is significant, both on earthly objects and on a threshold itself. It seems to have more power from Crowley when he has longest-length sideburns. In particular, I'm referring to three memory access points with Gabriel and The Door Trick. In the door trick, the skin contact touch is the one given a Triple with a Triple multiplier.

Gabriel has some skin contact in at least one of those same memory access points. Otherwise, I haven't figured out much besides Shax's notable avoidance in the present day storyline.

Rules are broken, and the season 2 story continues...until they're broken with great deliberation by two experts...who might be each on their way to Heaven and Hell respectively.

The one with the imagery of the Hell threshold has plants behind him, so some of Earth is still there.

Earthly Objects List

This list includes objects that may have had implied touches instead of actual touches because checking who touched what when, then realizing it's blurry or just presumed, is exhausting when I just want a list. I'm not going to specify every different type of paper that might have been touched...but you know...paper was touched.

Barrel

Bell

Bench

Blanket

Candle

Car seat

Cardboard box

Cards

Cart

Chair

Clipboard

Clothing

Counter

Cup

Feather duster

Hat

Human

Goat

Keys

Magnifying glass

Mail

Mirror

Newspaper

Paper

Pencil

Phone

Piano

Plastic bag

Plastic container

Plate

Rag

Record

Rock

Rug

Scroll

Steering wheel

Table

Towel

Wheelchair

Window

Wine bottle

Wooden box

Bonus Round: Me Bragging on Crowley

The below is saved for posterity because I had so much fun with it. I am quite convinced that this part was the first Multiplicative Threshold Trick and almost a tutorial because the others don't come, or at least finish, until much later and are far more difficult to recognize.

Look, I obsess over David Tennant being Crowley because he is so beautifully perfect for the role, so I am definitely super biased in everything here.

Allow me to attempt demonstrating to you how mind-blowing Crowley is at this game. We're not going to know if what I think happened, really happened, because I don't understand the rules the way he does. Here is what I think happened: He did three threshold-only touches while entering the coffee shop in episode 1. What does that accomplish? Why would he do that? I don't know! My current guess is maybe three in a row actually gives next-level supernatural points in the game, largely in part because of the season’s ending, which is too much to cover here.

Am I sure? Absolutely not, especially with how blurs seem to work between characters and the more standard earthly object touches.

The car arrives, and Crowley places only part of his shoe on the edge of the sidewalk. The heel doesn't touch the street, and the front tip doesn't touch the sidewalk. The movement is quick, so it's a little blurred. Theoretical threshold-only touch #1.

The camera pans up, and then you see his fingers on the side panel of his door that just so happen to only get maybe the window frame and not the window itself. It's blurry, but that's the best I can do. I also have to check frame by frame because it's too fast otherwise. So, if the window is the earthly object but not its frame, then we're good. He's touching both the door frame and the window frame so that could be a 2-in-1 touch. Theoretical threshold-only touch #2.

He closes the door, steps forward, does a spin, and then walks toward the coffee shop. When he gets to that door, his hand should be above the lock, and maybe it's a blurry gray thing, but it's so hard to tell. It's blurry. He's moving too fast. Even if he is touching it, he is covering it completely with his hand.

Since he covers it up fully with his palm, does it somehow not count? If so, then you can tell that his fingers are on the door panel only while his thumb is on the indentation of that panel connected to the window. The tip of his thumb is barely touching the window. The credit for the touch goes to the door panel instead of the window because the door panel has three of five digits from one hand on it whereas the window only has that one little thumb tip. Three digits on one panel could be a 3-in-1 touch. Theoretical threshold-only touch #3.

On entry, there is a fourth threshold that has no door, it’s just separating one section of the coffee shop to another. He passes through, passes Aziraphale, and sits down.

For some reason, he saves his starting two points for the arm on the back of the chair and the question, "Right., what's the problem?" Added in is an implied skin contact touch to the table, seen two cuts later.

The music and the camera work is really impressive in the whole thing, in my opinion. The story wants us to see that sequence in that way. What a beautiful entrance.

He's playing this game in tandem with his sideburns scheme, and there, he is definitely using thresholds to his advantage.

#crowley #good omens 2 #good omens s2 #david tennant #good omens #good omens season 2

[nicolegmattos]

My Christian best friend reacts to Good Omens (part 10): Post discussion

Sadly, this will be last part for now until season 3 releases. Then we’ll probably watch together and I’ll bring you our reactions with us both watching it for the first time.

Link to part 9 if you haven’t seen it yet.

Them: My God, I kin Crowley. I’m dead inside.

Me: *trying to console them* I know damn well how this feels. But remember what God said. “The story starts as it will finish. In a garden.” And they’ll probably end up sharing a cottage.

Them: I DON’T WANNA KNOW ABOUT A GARDEN. I WANT MY COUPLE.

Me: But there can be a garden in the cottage lol. I mean… Crowley loves plants. And Aziraphale pretended to be a gardener once. Also, I’m pretty sure Neil will give us a happy ending in season three.

Them: THANK YOU, NEIL.

Me: HE’S AN ANGEL. And a Demon. We hate you with love, Neil.

Them: Hahaha. Man… I’ll need therapy.

Me: We’ll need. We’ll send the bills to Neil lol. It’s his fault.

Them: Yesss.

Me: *crying* Oh, Crowley’s eyes full of tears before he puts on the sunglasses.

Them: MY GOD, YES, I NOTICED IT.

Me: What’s worse is that he had the best of intentions but not only Aziraphale is a bit dumb lol but also Crowley is not that good in communicating how he feels. Imagine the trauma. The only time he tried to do that it didn’t work.

Them: They both wanted to be together. But Azi still has a lot of that thing of respecting the Divine a little too much. And that ends up getting lost with Crowley.

Me: He has an extremely toxic relationship with Heaven. I can’t get over how his gaze was so sad when he realized he had lost Crowley the moment he leaned down his head to put on his sunglasses.

Them: DON’T SAY IT.

Me: BUT I ALREADY SAID IT.

Them: He’s dependent (of Heaven).

Me: Yeah. And like, he feels he needs it. When he cut off connections with Heaven he started reporting his good deeds to Crowley. He basically doesn’t know how to live without being an Angel working to Heaven.

Them: I think that’s a bit normal. Crowley is the kind of person that after a relationship is “Ok. Dead end”. But Azi has a sort of dependency.

Me: Yes. When both cut off connections it seemed like everything would be alright and that Aziraphale had finally understood how Heaven was. But the moment that was offered to him the opportunity to change Heaven from inside, all of that was lost.

Them: I even thought he would leave it there because he was doing some things out of line. BUT NO. Like, I get it that he wants to change it, but that would take millions of years. And maybe it would never happen.

Me: Unfortunately he believes a lot on everyone’s goodness and the greater good. He actually believes that the system is broken. But the thing is that the system is working exactly how it should and he doesn’t realize it.

Them: Exactly. It was like Crowley said. Both Heaven and Hell are toxic. It’s not for nothing that Gabriel and Beelzebub ran off.

Me: Yessss. And Aziraphale saw they could live without them. But on the other hand they couldn’t live on Earth and would always be hiding or running away. And not just that. He isn’t selfish to the point of grabbing the opportunity of being happy with Crowley in another place if he knows Earth and the people are in danger. Because Hell and Heaven still want the end of the world. He wants to do good. He wants to solve things. Even if it costs his own happiness. Because he said he didn’t want to go back to Heaven.

Them: YESSSS. Like, I understand both sides.

Me: Me too.

Them: But I’m sad.

Me: Sorry.

#good omens #good omens fandom #ineffable fandom #crowley #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #aziraphale #good omens s2 #good omens season 2 #ineffable divorce #good omens react #season 2 react

[meltingpenguins]

Ineffable.

One of the most beloved and important words in the Good Omens fandom.

But are people aware just how deep it goes in the book? How much, in the book, it is tied to Crowley and Aziraphale's character-arc and development throughout human history?

When the word is first use by Aziraphale it's when he declares that one shouldn't question the Almighty's ways cause they're ineffable, not for people like him or Crowley to understand.

“You’ve got to admit it’s a bit of a pantomime, though,” said Crawly. “I mean, pointing out the Tree and saying ‘Don’t Touch’ in big letters. Not very subtle, is it? I mean, why not put it on top of a high mountain or a long way off? Makes you wonder what He’s really planning.” “Best not to speculate, really,” said Aziraphale. “You can’t second-guess ineffability, I always say. There’s Right, and there’s Wrong. If you do Wrong when you’re told to do Right, you deserve to be punished. Er.”

This is in the Garden of Eden. Aziraphale has just been appointed to guard the Eastern Gate, and has given away the flaming sword he had received for that task, meaning he was meant to strike down anyone who tries to get into the garden (i.e. Adam and Eve, at the time), and instead defied God's orders and gave the sword away.

What Aziraphale is doing here is he's using 'ineffable' as a 'get out of jail free-card'. He's using it in a way that pretty much says

'I technically agree with you, but I mustn't doubt the Almighty, what with me being an angel and all, and you know first hand what doubting and questioning God entitles.'

He has his doubts about the whole tree thing and all, but he fears Falling, so he weasels his way around it. Doesn't mean he's not thoroughly rattled at what happened and what might happen:

“I’m not sure it’s actually possible for you to do evil,” said Crawly sarcastically. Aziraphale didn’t notice the tone. “Oh, I do hope so,” he said. “I really do hope so. It’s been worrying me all afternoon.” They watched the rain for a while. “Funny thing is,” said Crawly, “I keep wondering whether the apple thing wasn’t the right thing to do, as well. A demon can get into real trouble, doing the right thing.” He nudged the angel. “Funny if we both got it wrong, eh? Funny if I did the good thing and you did the bad one, eh?” “Not really,” said Aziraphale. Crawly looked at the rain. “No,” he said, sobering up. “I suppose not.”

Here we have Crowley/Crawly pretty much forget for a moment who he is talking to. He might try to cheer Aziraphale up (he's only mentioning that a demon can get into trouble for doing the right thing) already showing traces of his own kindness, but Aziraphale's dry 'not really' and Crowley's reaction to it show how worried Aziraphale is, and Crowley respects that. Knowing first hand that the angel has all reasons to be worried.

But, chronologically speaking, the next time we see Aziraphale use 'ineffable' it's about 5000 years later:

And just when you’d think they were more malignant than ever Hell could be, they could occasionally show more grace than Heaven ever dreamed of. Often the same individual was involved. It was this free-will thing, of course. It was a bugger. Aziraphale had tried to explain it to him once. The whole point, he’d said—this was somewhere around 1020, when they’d first reached their little Arrangement—the whole point was that when a human was good or bad it was because they wanted to be. Whereas people like Crowley and, of course, himself, were set in their ways right from the start. People couldn’t become truly holy, he said, unless they also had the opportunity to be definitively wicked. Crowley had thought about this for some time and, around about 1023, had said, Hang on, that only works, right, if you start everyone off equal, okay? You can’t start someone off in a muddy shack in the middle of a war zone and expect them to do as well as someone born in a castle. Ah, Aziraphale had said, that’s the good bit. The lower you start, the more opportunities you have. Crowley had said, That’s lunatic. No, said Aziraphale, it’s ineffable.

See the shift? Now Aziraphale is using the term as a 'argument winner'. Like a smug 'I'm right, you're wrong, nothing you can do about it'. Why?

Because over 5000 years Aziraphale really settled into being upper class, posh, privileged. What's he's doing here is very much in the same vein as all those 'if you can't pay rent eat less avocado toast' articles.

He's saying that poor people have 'more' opportunities in life (not just in terms of doing good or bad, looking at it) than rich people, because why should rich people take up jobs for example. It is a twisted logic we still see today from people in positions of privilege.

The kind of people that will tell you you have much more a shot at saving the planet because you can just use paper straws, while they are woefully barred from doing this kind of good because there's only fancy black plastic straws on their private jets and yachts.

And they expect you to agree with that.

Aziraphale has the heart in the right place, but he's still an asshole who has grown very comfortable being part of the human upper crust.

(Crowley, and Hell by extension are more akin to the working class folks, and Crowley endorses it, but that is an analysis for another time)

So yeah, by now 'ineffable' has become more of an argument winner.

One that Crowley throws back into Aziraphale's face at a later point and with great impact, but we'll come to that in a moment.

Because chronologically speaking, we see another shift in its use:

“Listen,” said Crowley desperately, “how many musicians do you think your side have got, eh? First grade, I mean.” Aziraphale looked taken aback. “Well, I should think—” he began. “Two,” said Crowley. “Elgar and Liszt. That’s all. We’ve got the rest. Beethoven, Brahms, all the Bachs, Mozart, the lot. Can you imagine eternity with Elgar?” Aziraphale shut his eyes. “All too easily,” he groaned. “That’s it, then,” said Crowley, with a gleam of triumph. He knew Aziraphale’s weak spot all right. “No more compact discs. No more Albert Hall. No more Proms. No more Glyndbourne. Just celestial harmonies all day long.” “Ineffable,” Aziraphale murmured.

This is when Crowley is trying to convince Aziraphale that this whole Armageddon business is a rotten cause, and let's just not do it and all...

Now Aziraphale uses 'ineffable' in a way more akin to what it was used like in Eden, but with a bit of a twist. Now it's more of a 'I mustn't question God's ways, but dang I have an urge to bite someone'. It's again used as a way to avoid outright doubting god, but he's really grumpy about it.

Curiously, when he uses it again a few lines further down:

“And then Game Over, Insert Coin?” said Crowley. “Sometimes I find your methods of expression a little difficult to follow.” “I like the seas as they are. It doesn’t have to happen. You don’t have to test everything to destruction just to see if you made it right.” Aziraphale shrugged again. “That’s ineffable wisdom for you, I’m afraid.” The angel shuddered, and pulled his coat around him. Gray clouds were piling up over the city.

Now it's more leaning towards argument winner again, but mixed with the above. (but leaning towards argument winner, or better argument ender.)

The next use is from Crowley, when they're both very plastered:

Crowley decided not to argue the point. “There you are then,” he said. “All creatures great and smoke. I mean small. Great and small. Lot of them with brains. And then, bazamm.” “But you’re part of it,” said Aziraphale. “You tempt people. You’re good at it.” Crowley thumped his glass on the table. “That’s different. They don’t have to say yes. That’s the ineffable bit, right? Your side made it up. You’ve got to keep testing people. But not to destruction.”

Crowley is using it part in the dictionary meaning of the word, half in a throwing it back into Aziraphale's face way, as if to say 'hey, here's this nonsensical bit that people keep getting told not to question, cause if they would it'd very quickly fall apart'

However:

“I can’t interfere with divine plans,” he croaked. Crowley looked speculatively into his glass, and then filled it again. “What about diabolical ones?” he said. “Pardon?” “Well, it’s got to be a diabolical plan, hasn’t it? We’re doing it. My side.” “Ah, but it’s all part of the overall divine plan,” said Aziraphale. “Your side can’t do anything without it being part of the ineffable divine plan,” he added, with a trace of smugness. “You wish!” “No, that’s the—” Aziraphale snapped his fingers irritably. “The thing. What d’you call it in your colorful idiom? The line at the bottom.” “The bottom line.” “Yes. It’s that.”

Now (a few lines of drunken philosophizing and stumbling over each other's thought) Aziraphale uses the term very smugly again, in an attempt to get the upper hand in the argument. Crowley's not buying it.

Aziraphale still tries, though:

“Then you can’t be certain, correct me if I’m wrong, you can’t be certain that thwarting it isn’t part of the divine plan too. I mean, you’re supposed to thwart the wiles of the Evil One at every turn, aren’t you?” Aziraphale hesitated. “There is that, yes.” “You see a wile, you thwart. Am I right?” “Broadly, broadly. Actually I encourage humans to do the actual thwarting. Because of ineffability, you understand.”

(Translation: I -could- do that myself, but I can't be arsed, too much work)

Then, 11 years later, we have this bit:

He thumped the steering wheel. “You’ll be amazed at the kind of things they can do to you, down there,” he said. “I imagine they’re very similar to the sort of things they can do to one up there,” said Aziraphale. “Come off it. Your lot get ineffable mercy,” said Crowley sourly. “Yes? Did you ever visit Gomorrah?” “Sure,” said the demon. “There was this great little tavern where you could get these terrific fermented date-palm cocktails with nutmeg and crushed lemongrass—” “I meant afterwards.” “Oh.”

Crowley uses it in a similar way to how he used it in the drunken talk, but more bitter. And in a 'I know how much you love using this word to win arguments >:Y ' way.

And then comes the bit where everything culminates:

“What’d I do? What’d I do?” said Crowley, pushing open doors at random. “There are people out there shooting one another!” “Well, that’s just it, isn’t it? They’re doing it themselves. It’s what they really want to do. I just assisted them. Think of it as a microcosm of the universe. Free will for everyone. Ineffable, right?” Aziraphale glared. “Oh, all right,” said Crowley wretchedly. “No one’s actually going to get killed. They’re all going to have miraculous escapes. It wouldn’t be any fun otherwise.” Aziraphale relaxed. “You know, Crowley,” he said, beaming, “I’ve always said that, deep down inside, you’re really quite a—” “All right, all right,” Crowley snapped. “Tell the whole blessed world, why don’t you?”

THIS is the ultimate bit of usage of the term between these two. Crowley takes the word that Aziraphale, for 6000 has come to use as a privileged way of winning arguments and throws it back into the angel's face.

And Aziraphale? He catches on, but he also knows Crowley well enough for a glare to convey two things:

That was low, but alright, I get you, and I apologize for using the term to win arguments.

However, I know how much you care about humans and Earth and all, even though that is a thing -you- can't say out loud, so I know you are not happy with the prospect of these people killing each other.

Because after this moment, the term is used twice in a way that seems to have it replace 'fucking' or 'bullshit' or 'ffs can't we just get our shit together about this', by all means:

Good old Malachi. He’d been a nice old boy, sitting there, dreaming about future popes. Complete piss artist, of course. Could have been a real thinker, if it hadn’t been for the poteen. A sad end. Sometimes you really had to hope that the ineffable plan had been properly thought out.

(when we learn more about Aziraphale's collection of prophecies and which prophets he knew personally)

“This is not to say you have not performed well,” said the voice. “You will receive a commendation. Well done.” “Thank you,” said Aziraphale. The bitterness in his voice would have soured milk. “I’d forgotten about ineffability, obviously.” “We thought you had.” “May I ask,” said the angel, “to whom have I been speaking?” The voice said, “We are the Metatron.”

(When Aziraphale's contacting Heaven)

His shades flew to a far corner of the room, and became a puddle of burning plastic. Yellow eyes with slitted vertical pupils were revealed. Wet and steaming, face ash-blackened, as far from cool as it was possible for him to be, on all fours in the blazing bookshop, Crowley cursed Aziraphale, and the ineffable plan, and Above, and Below.

(after Crowley got hit by the jet of water in the burning bookshop)

This ALL brings us to the most amazing double-act in the whole book, the bit that really let's Crowley and Aziraphale's chemistry shine:

Crowley stuck his head in his hands. “For a moment there, just for a moment, I thought we had a chance,” he said. “He had them worried. Oh, well, it was nice while—” He was aware that Aziraphale had stood up. “Excuse me,” said the angel. The trio looked at him. “This Great Plan,” he said, “this would be the ineffable Plan, would it?” There was a moment’s silence. “It’s the Great Plan,” said the Metatron flatly. “You are well aware. There shall be a world lasting six thousand years and it will conclude with—” “Yes, yes, that’s the Great Plan all right,” said Aziraphale. He spoke politely and respectfully, but with the air of one who has just asked an unwelcome question at a political meeting and won’t go away until he gets an answer. “I was just asking if it’s ineffable as well. I just want to be clear on this point.” “It doesn’t matter!” snapped the Metatron. “It’s the same thing, surely!” Surely? thought Crowley. They don’t actually know. He started to grin like an idiot. “So you’re not one hundred percent clear on this?” said Aziraphale. “It’s not given to us to understand the ineffable Plan,” said the Metatron, “but of course the Great Plan—” “But the Great Plan can only be a tiny part of the overall ineffability,” said Crowley. “You can’t be certain that what’s happening right now isn’t exactly right, from an ineffable point of view.” “It izz written!” bellowed Beelzebub. “But it might be written differently somewhere else,” said Crowley. “Where you can’t read it.” “In bigger letters,” said Aziraphale. “Underlined,” Crowley added. “Twice,” suggested Aziraphale. “Perhaps this isn’t just a test of the world,” said Crowley. “It might be a test of you people, too. Hmm?” “God does not play games with His loyal servants,” said the Metatron, but in a worried tone of voice. “Whooo-eee,” said Crowley. “Where have you been?”

These two little shits <3

They know to the rest of Heaven and Hell and probably Earth 'ineffable' has an entirely different meaning than the term has to them. And they are milking it for what it's worth <3

The last word in this, however is not had by either of them:

“Well,” said Crowley, who’d been thinking about this until his head ached, “haven’t you ever wondered about it all? You know—your people and my people, Heaven and Hell, good and evil, all that sort of thing? I mean, why?” “As I recall,” said the angel, stiffly, “there was the rebellion and—” “Ah, yes. And why did it happen, eh? I mean, it didn’t have to, did it?” said Crowley, a manic look in his eye. “Anyone who could build a universe in six days isn’t going to let a little thing like that happen. Unless they want it to, of course.” “Oh, come on. Be sensible,” said Aziraphale, doubtfully. “That’s not good advice,” said Crowley. “That’s not good advice at all. If you sit down and think about it sensibly, you come up with some very funny ideas. Like: why make people inquisitive, and then put some forbidden fruit where they can see it with a big neon finger flashing on and off saying THIS IS IT!?” “I don’t remember any neon.” “Metaphorically, I mean. I mean, why do that if you really don’t want them to eat it, eh? I mean, maybe you just want to see how it all turns out. Maybe it’s all part of a great big ineffable plan. All of it. You, me, him, everything. Some great big test to see if what you’ve built all works properly, eh? You start thinking: it can’t be a great cosmic game of chess, it has to be just very complicated Solitaire. And don’t bother to answer. If we could understand, we wouldn’t be us. Because it’s all—all—” INEFFABLE, said the figure feeding the ducks. “Yeah. Right. Thanks.” They watched the tall stranger carefully dispose of the empty bag in a litter bin, and stalk away across the grass. Then Crowley shook his head. “What was I saying?” he said. “Don’t know,” said Aziraphale. “Nothing very important, I think.” Crowley nodded gloomily. “Let me tempt you to some lunch,” he hissed.

The book leaves it delightfully ambiguous if the figure is Death (who we have seen talking like that so far) OR if this is actually God stepping in and vibes part of their memory because they've gotten a little too close to the truth and it's not yet time. The book's ambiguity really works wonders here.

So, yeah, there you go. It's amazing how much the use of this single little word tells us about these characters and who they are as people.

<3

#good omens #good omens analysis #good omens meta #good omens crowley #good omens aziraphale #long post #book omens

[sectumsempress1]

Good Omens Season 3: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Sectumsempress1, Hag

Or that one time I watched Good Omens, felt the claws of hyperfixation sink into my flesh for the first time in years, re-watched Good Omens more times than I care to admit and then drowned in a mind palace of analysis and delusion, resulting in this season 3 predictions bingo card coupled with unnecessarily long explanations for each square.

I'm gonna post these explanations one or two squares at a time, and honestly my first theory (probably not mine, I'm sure others have also come to this conclusion) deserves its own post because wowee I'm insane about this one.

Let's talk about why I think Crowley may have been Jophiel or Jeremiel before they fell.

I have seen endless theories about who Crowley could have been before The Fall; Lucifer, Barachiel, Raphael, Samael... and I see some evidence for all of these. However, I raise you;

Great question babygirl.

Okay me when I lie.

Yes, I took this throwaway line and went insane over it don't worry about it. Anyway. First J angel that I think could make sense is:

Jophiel "Beauty of God"

Jophiel is described in some texts as the guardian of wisdom and a teacher of languages to souls at the dawn of creation. She is also recognised as a teacher to Noah's children (specifically Shem) by C.E. Clement, Heinrich Cornelius Agrippa and Thomas Rudd.

And yes I am aware this is post-Fall Crowley and not the angel they were, but it's interesting that Shem was mentioned specifically regardless. Neil has wounded me so, I just feel that nothing is unintentional. Anyway, any iteration of Crowley as a teacher just feels right based on all we've seen of them.

(How he acts with Muriel, answering Jim's questions, showing Jesus the kingdoms of the world.)

Jophiel is also heavily associated with beauty and creativity.

Okay Mr. 'Pointedly Unusual Imagination.' Bit beautiful and creative of you.

Now here's where it gets buck wild. So Jophiel is not explicitly mentioned in the bible (in fact only Michael, Raphael and Gabriel are consistently mentioned) but scholars interpret Genesis 3:24 as referring to him.

"He drove out the man, and at the east of the garden of Eden he placed the cherubim and aflaming sword that turned every way to guard the way to the tree of life."

Yeah. It is widely agreed upon that Archangel Jophiel wielded the flaming sword and cast Adam and Eve out of Eden. Now, obviously, in Good Omens canon, Aziraphale did this. But... what if that wasn't the original plan? What if, after Jophiel and the others were cast out, the work rosters in Heaven had to be shuffled around a bit? And what if Aziraphale, having met this beautiful, curious starmaker so long ago took on their role himself?

What if Crowley and Aziraphale began the arrangement long before either of them had the words to understand what it was? All because the angel couldn't understand why he felt so drawn to the Fallen who couldn't remember.

(Edited because I've already come up with a new theory. I still stand by all of this and want it to be true so badly, but I think that Crowley does remember. I think Aziraphale is the one whose memory may have been tampered with. That doesn't change the core of the Jophiel theory, I just think that upon reflection, a personal relationship with Crowley is not what caused Aziraphale to take his old job.)

It also makes sense to then make Crowley the Serpent of Eden, if they had perhaps already planned to go to Eden anyway.

Jophiel is also widely known as Metatron's companion, which explains why he is so aggressive towards Crowley in a really cold, personal way. Yes, Metatron knows of everyone and everything so him knowing Crowley's story isn't odd in itself. But the glare...

To me, this reads as "I know you. I've known you. I know exactly what you're capable of and I will not take it. Not again. Behave." It's like a glare a parent would give their toddler for misbehaving in public. It feels pointedly personal. Almost as though they've worked together in the past in a way that ended badly for Metatron and he is on high alert to ensure it doesn't happen again.

Again here. Metatron doesn't speak about Crowley in a general 'all fallen angels suck' sense. It's personal. His choice of words, the tone, everything points to him having been personally wronged by the angel Crowley was.

Also just look at Jophiel's goddamn curly little red hair are you kidding me right now Neil Gaiman I am in your WALLS.

Also some more fun facts: Jophiel is shown as male and female presenting, leads people to a deeper understanding of the beauty of the universe, is regarded as an angel of wisdom, is known to protect those who seek truth, battles against forces of darkness and ignorance... and is strongly associated with the colour yellow.

Nice eyes babe.

Anyway, I am so delulu about this specific theory because if it is true it would show Aziraphale and Crowley's grand cosmic connection in a way that is honestly just ineffable.

But however much I long for Jophiel to be it... there is also some evidence for it being:

Jeramheel/Jeremiel "God shall have mercy"

In religious texts, Jeremiel is known as the angel who presides over true visions, often appearing in dreams and visions to bring truth. He appears to decipher Baruch's visions and give him a tour of heaven in the book '2 Baruch', and God sends him to answer the prophet Ezra's questions regarding the apocalypse in the book '2 Esdras'.

He also served as an angel of death, watching over and guiding souls to heaven and helping them learn from their earthly experiences.

This again goes back to Crowley's belief that everyone has the right to answers and being a good teacher because of that. It would make sense for them to have had this role in their angelic days as well, despite it eventually coming back to bite them.

Jeremiel is often depicted with a book or a scroll, symbolising the importance of knowledge.

Also, while Zadkiel is known as the angel of forgiveness and mercy, many people also consider Jeremiel (god shall have mercy) in this role... which would make Aziraphale's constant attempts to forgive him and his insistence that he is unforgivable even more devastating, and why I have ongoing theories about a role reversal occurring when it comes to this theme of forgiveness (more on this later).

Right. So I am obviously clutching at my delusion of it being Jophiel, but Jeremiel is a wider known angel with more canonical basis for actually being an archangel, which is why he also makes a lot of sense to me.

Thank you for joining me in this downward spiral into insanity. Look forward to part two!

#good omens #aziraphale #crowley #good omens spoilers #good omens predictions #good omens season 3 #angel crowley #good omens theory

[ineffablegoblin]

Good Omens Season 2 | Aziraphale's Actions on the Gameboard

This has definitely been discussed in great detail, but it keeps playing in my mind every night, so I'd like to add to the discourse.

@inhonoredglory did a great job at characterizing Aziraphale, showing the Job connection, and connecting his decisions to Michael Sheen's emotive and powerful beliefs. It has put into words a lot of the feelings and thoughts I'd been having since I first saw the show (and I have been watching it every night on repeat like its a song). The different theories about Metatron, the book of life, and coffee are interesting and great coping mechanisms to manage that intense final scene, and who knows what Neil will reveal in Season 3, but they don't consider the bigger picture outside of Aziraphale and Crowley.

Good Omens is fundamentally about the ineffable game of life that God plays. It is unknowable and unpredictable. Season 2 is supposed to be a bridge between two very intense life-shattering events. Season 1, and the novel, focus on preventing the end of the world. Season 3 (unwritten novel 2) must be equally big, if not bigger. There has to be more to it than just a relationship at stake.

We can't simply forget the Heaven and Hell still WANT the end of the world. They still want a big war. They are willing to go to extreme lengths to do so, and they're exceptionally eager to bury their 'institutional problems'. Metatron himself says that he needs an angel to lead 'the second coming'. He definitely is being some sort of manipulative, but the trap of heaven is also an opportunity to make a real difference.

When we look at Aziraphale in Episode 6's ending, he is very clearly reluctant and torn. He shows as much in his facial expressions, his tone, his mannerisms, and even his words. He mimics the conflicted hand movements and behaviors that he uses when lying as he addresses Crowley. He is very capable of trying to hide things from everyone he deems dangerous or at risk. He does this with Crowley (when he discovers who the antichrist is) and with God (when She asks about his sword). He also says that he does not want to go back to heaven when he speaks to Metatron about the offer. He says, pained, 'I think I-" before agreeing that he does not need anything and leaving with Metatron. He is in tears at the decision he has to make. He takes an emotional look at his bookshop and the windows and all the memories he has made of himself and his books and his drinks and his Crowley.

He very clearly KNOWS that "the something big and horrible" is coming. His decision is him choosing Crowley and his bookshop and earth because 'nothing lasts forever' and it won't last at all if he does not do something about it. Minutes before this he was under threat of being completely erased from the Book Of Life by the Archangels. Who's to say they won't erase him if he runs away with Crowley? Give him coffee (agreeing to Metatron's offer) or give him death (the destruction of earth and everything he loves and Crowley and himself).

It is true that Aziraphale would NEVER willingly give up his books and precious words. He would never abandon Crowley. It is emphasized until the end of the show. But if his books and his stories and diaries are about to be lost in some big horrible event, shouldn't he try to save it? Is his bookshop not worth giving up momentary comfort for? Is his life with Crowley not worth that sacrifice?

It's all part of the game. I think Aziraphale understands that to beat the game, he has to play it by the rules and beat it from the inside. He thinks in a fairly black-and-white way (or light-grey and dark-grey way) and he clearly knows Crowley will not agree with him. His "I need you" is as powerful as Crowley's kiss.

Think about it. If he just abandons the game, he loses by default. He has no control over what the other players do. We like having representatives in policy making when we vote, right? We have legal LGBTQ+ rights in some countries because someone went into the room of decision makers and fought for it. He knows has to be in that room to make a difference, or else he risks losing everything. And it's not as if he and Crowley haven't been separated before.

I mean, let's say you have a partner you love and you both run a business you love and have friends you love, but it's illegal to be gay, and you're both very gay. Your partner says you both should just run away and move to a cottage and live and be gay together in peace somewhere remote because the government would arrest you or your neighbors might stone you if they found out. But you know that no matter where you go, they might always find you and kill you both. You like the business and friends and little apartment in the city that you share. Now, say you suddenly get an offer from a colleague, who you may or may not trust, to be involved in the law-making, and you know the bill on Gay Rights is being re-written and evaluated. As much as I personally prefer living in quiet cottage, I could very well see myself choosing to take that seat and try to make a change. It would let me keep everything I love. It would keep me and my partner safe. It would let me keep other people like me safe (ineffable bureaucracy). It would be the right thing to do; the good thing.

He and Crowley must both know that they love each other. They have loved each other in their own way forever, and have spent years apart and been just as strong at their next meeting. Aziraphale had heart eyes from the moment they met in heaven. They play a very intentional game of rescue and meet-up. Aziraphale is very capable of taking care of himself, and Crowley does not need to rush to his aid when he senses something is wrong, but they both do that whole dance anyway because it's their version of showing their love with the human expressions that they have comfortably tempted themselves to enjoy (food, alcohol, collections, plants, books, cars, etc.). But they can literally have forever together. Aziraphale believes that they can survive this separation, especially if it means saving earth and their relationship in the long-run. His face says that it was a hard decision to make. Why would they want to save the humans in the bookshop, and save Job's children, and save Elspeth, and then suddenly not care about all the people on earth? Aziraphale has gone along with death and loss when it was part of the rules given by god in the past, but he did not like it. He cares about the rules. Playing the game by the rules can let him make a change in a very controlled and safe way.

Aziraphale is complex and not perfect. He is a person with strengths and weaknesses. He may be influenced by trauma or manipulation or something else, but people often make big decisions for multiple reasons. Aziraphale picked his character and is rolling the dice. He has to play this game by the rules. Neil is (hopefully but also not hopefully) setting up the board for something far bigger than Season 1 and I am so excited (but not) to know what it is.

#in this essay i will #good omens #good omens season 1 #good omens season 2 #go1 #go2 #aziraphale #crowley #ineffable husbands #ineffable bureaucracy #metatron #neil #neil gaiman #something is wrong with me this has consumed my whole life and brain #thoughts #good omens series 2 #good omens s2 #anthony j crowley #good omens spoilers

[excelsi-or]

summoned (pt. 1)

hi everyone! it's been a g e s, but we're back! i've been travelling since about May, and definitely thought editing this story wasn't going to take as long as it did. anywho, this is the demon fic that i teased a while back. kinda different from anything else i've put out before. it's inspired by Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, definitely a book worth reading if you haven't yet. let me know what you all think :)

pairing: lee jihoon (woozi) x fem OC/fem reader

w.c. 2.5k (i'm not sure what i'd classify this as tbh. silly, maybe?)

"You want what?"

"A venti and medium–" The rest of what Jeonghan says gets garbled as he speaks. Not from lack of phone connection, but just because she has no idea what he's going on about.

As she stands in line, her eyes skim over the menu in a vain attempt to find anything similar to what she'd heard Jeonghan say. When she reaches the front of the line, she's still clueless.

So, she tries to sound out the garble in the hopes that this barista can translate.

"Venti and me–I mean, grande, fructi paemoni–nope, pomegranate?"

Before she can see if the man has been able to understand anything she said, she feels all the air sucked out of her lungs. Sound disappears and she thinks she's passed out. When she gasps for air, she looks around to get her bearings.

Time seems to have slowed, not stopped.

Her brow furrows, as she tries to gauge if she's had some sort of early life stroke. On a whim, she turns, about to walk out of the place. But she jumps back at the man dressed in a suit now present in front of her. He has dark hair with an undercut, his hair silky. His skin is fair; his body toned, at least based on the way he fills out the suit. But it's his eyes that catch her attention. They're black, seemingly catching no light.

And then he opens his mouth to speak, and she notices the sharpness of his canines.

Vampire?

"Hello, human. Thank you for summoning me." The man's tone is flat, as if he's tired of giving this speech. "I am not a genie. If you ask anything of me, you must give me your soul in exchange."

The furrow in her brow deepens. "Soul? So, you're not a vampire."

If the blackness of his eyes could get blacker, they do. "I am a demon. You have summoned me."

"You're a what?" She juts her thumb back in the direction of the barista. "I was ordering a drink. I wasn't summoning anything. I was literally about to leave, because I thought I was having a stroke!" She lets out a long breath to reign in her hysteria. "I didn't summon you."

The demon looks confused. When she blinks, there's suddenly a piece of paper in his hand. He recites her name, the time, the date; all of which she agrees is correct. Then the demon recites what she said and she holds a hand up to stop him.

"I did not say–what did you say I said?"

"Veni ad me, fructus daemonium."

"I definitely didn't say that. I said something like venti and medium--grande, fuck, Jeonghan oppa's order. I think he wanted some pomegranate fruit something."

The demon stares in disbelief. "So, you didn't summon me."

"God, no. Wait, can I say 'God' in front of you?" She shakes her head, likely stopping herself from rambling than deciding whether 'God' is appropriate in front of a demon. "Regardless, I didn't summon you. And I don't need to trade my soul for anything."

The demon huffs. His dark eyes go over her once and then to a pocket watch. "Look, I have a--what do you humans call it--a quota of sorts. A quota that needs to be filled this millennium."

"What?"

"Human, I have a quota to fill. A certain number of souls to collect. And it has been a very slow start this millennium." The demon snorts. "Fewer young souls are being given up and He prefers the young ones."

"Sorry, Mr. Demon, I really did not mean to call on you or summon you or whatever." She looks back at the café, where one woman has finally put her cup down and a man has finished pressing the period key on his keyboard. "Have you slowed time for everyone? I don't want to be late for my creative meeting."

The demon tilts his head. "There's nothing you want that you would trade your soul for?"

"No, not really."

"A lover who can't be yours, oodles of money," the demon's perfect brows furrow, blinking a couple times, "fame, eternal youth?"

"I'm… pretty content right now." She swears his eyes turn green; she takes a step back. "Seriously, Mr. Demon, there's nothing I want to trade for my soul."

"Call me…" It's his turn to look around the café for inspiration. His eyes catch sight of the barista's name tag. "Call me Jihoon."

"Uh… you can't just leave?"

The demon's expression deadpans. She thought the expression he'd greeted her with was his deadpan expression. This is a bit more horrifying. "I can't just go back to Him and say 'oh, she dialled the wrong number'."

"I can't just have you following me around," she protests. "Won't you ruin my chances of getting into Heaven or something? Being reborn or whatever happens when you die?"

This makes the demon–Jihoon–chuckle. "If you believe in any of those things, human, then I would assume you assume that the beings or forces that control those things are always watching."

"I… don't know if I understand what that means, but whatever. Mr. Demon, you can't–"

A guttural voice replaces Jihoon's bored tone, and he glows red. "Don't tell me what to do, human."

Another step back.

The two of them stare each other down. She knows that a demon probably doesn't need to blink, and she'll lose whatever stare down this is. And he's told her he won't leave.

"Okay. Fine. Stay. But, Jihoon," she winces at the name, doesn't suit his demon image, "you better be visible to everyone. I'm not going to let you con me into giving you my soul to stop people thinking I'm crazy."

Jihoon blinks in surprise. He hadn't thought of that. "Fine, human. I'll be visible."

"And you can't wear the suit. I only have one friend who wears a suit and he's a lawyer. You're probably not going to go off and finish a law degree."

Jihoon's eyes narrow, and now, she's sure they turn green. "Then, what," he pauses, "do you expect," pause, "me to wear?" This silky voice is more threatening than that demon voice he'd used before.

She tries to brush it off by breaking eye contact. There's a guy in the corner of the café that catches her eye. The man is dressed in a denim jacket with a hoodie underneath, plain jeans, and Converse. She nods at the stranger.

"I'm a demon, not a… a college student." If demons could spit venom, this one would.

"Well, I'm also not a college student, Mr. Demon, but that's what guys I know wear."

In a blink, he's dressed in a red hoodie, black denim and black Converse. "Any other requests?"

Best not to push her luck. "No."

Suddenly, she feels a burst of air go through her lungs and the familiar thrum of the café fills her ears again. It's almost too loud now. She turns to the barista and he's reciting her order.

"I think you're asking for a venti and grande very berry hibiscus?"

She waves her phone over the card reader. "Sure."

This barista, non-demon Jihoon smiles at her. "Great. And the name?"

When she arrives on time to her creative meeting, she slides the drinks across the table to Jeonghan and Seungcheol. She collapses into the seat next to Jeonghan, who addresses the problem she’d nearly forgotten on her rush over.

“Who’s the new guy?” he asks.

She grimaces and looks over at Jihoon standing by the door. The demon stands with his arms crossed over his chest, clearly unhappy to be here.

“That’s,” she clears her throat, “Jihoon. He’s…” She studies the demon, who isn’t inclined to help her come up with a lie. Jeonghan, Seungcheol, and Hansol all wait for her to fill in the connection. “He’s my friend that’s visiting. One of my brother’s friends… that came to the city.” This lie eases the knot in her chest, but why is he here? “He doesn’t know the city very well yet, so I… I said that I would take him on a tour after the meeting.”

Her three friends take a second to process this information, before Seungcheol breaks out into a smile. He leans forward on his elbows, so he can look past Hansol at Jihoon. “Hi, nice to meet you. I’m Seungcheol. This is Hansol. That’s Jeonghan.”

Hansol, who is sat across from her, waves in Jihoon’s direction. When he makes eye contact with her, she notices the very slight furrow in his brow.

She shakes her head in response to his unasked question.

Jeonghan doesn’t notice the exchange; if he does, he doesn’t say anything. Instead, he begins the meeting and jumps right into the collaborative contract that she and Hansol are working on. They’re collaborating on a large mural in the city, and the city has just provided feedback on the loose design.

Seungcheol, Hansol’s manager, jots down notes for Hansol.

“So, they want less colour? Why did they choose Hansol then?” Seungcheol shakes his head as he writes.

“They want three colours only,” Jeonghan explains. “Preferably the primary colours in their colour palette.”

“My line work can’t be coloured in with three colours,” she says. “There are skin tones.”

Hansol raises his hand and turns his sketchbook towards the group. He tends to multitask during meetings, which is why Seungcheol takes his notes. “I can just adjust my design. We might not be able to do 3 colours only, because I still want the depth to come through. But I agree, we should keep the skin tones. The whole point of the mural is diversity, and that should be real.”

She looks to Jeonghan. “Can you get them to compromise on skin tone and maybe 6 colours instead of 3?”

Jeonghan makes a note of it in his notebook and then moves onto the next slide.

By the time the meeting ends, Jihoon has his eyes closed, arms still crossed, as he leans against the wall.

“Is he okay?” Jeonghan asks as they collect their things together.

“Uhm, yes, I think so.” She slings her tote bag over her shoulder. “We’ll redo the thumbnails, so that they can choose which set they prefer.”

“They were asking for an earlier deadline, but I told them that would be unlikely with all the things they asked you and Hansol to change.”

Hansol finishes chatting with Seungcheol and motions with his head towards the door. “I’ll walk you home.”

“Oh, that’s–” Hansol’s eyes dart to Jihoon, and she understands the offer. “Right. Sure, okay. That’d be great.”

She wonders if she can just leave Jihoon behind. Do demons actually sleep?

When she meets Hansol at the door, she asks him how his comic is coming along. She says nothing to Jihoon and they walk right out of the room.

Hansol shrugs, glancing at Jihoon, but saying nothing about it. “Seungkwan said he doesn’t like where the story is going.”

“Yeah, but that’s because you’re making it dark,” she snorts. She readjusts her bag. “And you know how Seungkwan is about dark stuff.”

Hansol nods. He presses the call button for the elevator. “I guess that’s true.”

She knows what Hansol’s thinking. “He’ll catch up.”

Sure enough, Jihoon saunters their way.

Hansol reaches for her hand and gives it a squeeze. The elevator door slides open and she squeezes Hansol’s hand back twice.

One initial squeeze asks if you’re okay.

One back means yes; two means unsure; a tight squeeze is no.

Hansol frowns at her, but she can’t explain. While Jihoon hasn’t seemed particularly threatening, he’s still a demon.

Periodically on their walk to the subway, she glances back at Jihoon. The demon keeps his distance, but always seems to have her in his sightline.

When they reach the turnstiles, this is the first time she waits for Jihoon to catch up.

“You need a ticket,” she tells him.

Jihoon nods, refraining from rolling his eyes. “I have it sorted.”

She assumes he’ll do some blinky magic that the turnstile will miss. That is, until she and Hansol have passed through, and suddenly the guard manning the booth comes running around. The two of them turn and see a man holding Jihoon by the arm.

“Sir, you need to pay to get in here.”

The red glow begins to pulsate around Jihoon, so she quickly intervenes. “Sorry, he’s a friend of mine that’s visiting. I think he got confused.” She glances at Jihoon, whose gaze is just as steely. 

Okay, earthly solutions only. Her mind runs as quickly as possible.

“Can I pay you for his admission? We’re only going a few stops.”

The guard glares at Jihoon, but when he turns to her, his expression softens. When she smiles, his face relaxes further. “I’ll let the others know. Where are you getting off?”

When he stalks back to his booth, eyeing Jihoon, she tugs once on Jihoon’s denim jacket. It’s warm to the touch. “Come on, Demon. We gotta go.”

Jihoon’s head snaps down to look at her. “Either put a ‘mister’ in front of that or call me Jihoon.”

She pauses to consider her response. Provoke the demon or let it be.

“Jihoon, when you tell me you have things sorted, please, keep it sorted.”

Jihoon looks as if he’s about to argue, but she cuts him off. Her voice is low, so only he can hear. “If you wanted to take my soul, you would have taken it from me already. So, either I need to willingly give it to you or you need to kill me.”

Jihoon’s expression hardens, but he pulls away.

“Now, come on.”

She catches Hansol’s arm and drags him after her.

“Do you have a boyfriend I don’t know about?” Hansol frowns.

“He is not my boyfriend.”

Hansol checks over his shoulder. The icy stare isn’t directed at him, so he wonders if she’s aware of the look. “Can he hear me?”

“Assume yes.”

“Can you tell me what’s going on?”

“Even if I could explain, you wouldn’t believe me.”

He scoffs. “Do you realize who you’re talking to?”

“That’s how unbelievable it is.”

Hansol lifts an eyebrow, his hand reaching for a bar as the train lurches forward. “Well, now I’m more intrigued.”

“When I figure out how to tell you, I will.”

Hansol catches her fingers and gives her hand one squeeze.

She lets out a breath and squeezes back once.

part 2

#seventeen #seventeen imagines #seventeen scenarios #lee jihoon scenarios #woozi scenarios #lee jihoon #woozi #svt #woozi fic #woozi imagines #woozi x reader

[k1ranishf4]

It is 8am, I haven’t slept at all and most likely have all qualifications needed to be declared clinically insane.

BECAUSE WHAT THE FUCK MAN??!,!!?!,!,!,!, KXKKSOZLSKXJDLZKSNICUEJSPMWOZHC

I’M GONNA FUCKING KMS AT THIS POINT

*GOOD OMENS 2 SPOILERS BELOW*

It all started so nicely; the first 30 seconds or so literally showed us Crowley when he was still an angel, happily creating the stars and the galaxy and being so proud of his work to the point where he couldn’t even stop smiling like an idiot.

And Aziraphale was with him!! Aziraphale, who fell in love with Crowley even before Earth itself was created; Aziraphale, who couldn’t take his eyes off of Crowley for even just one second while the other was rambling about the stars.

It just got better and sweeter after that, I literally couldn’t stop thinking about how they definitely seem like an old married couple to bystanders, especially whenever they bicker back and forth!

Not to mention their familiarity. You could tell back in season one that those two have known each other for a really really long time and it just got more obvious with this season.

Their mutual pining was also painfully obvious, as always, but this time it really punched me in the guts. I kept coming back to tumblr every now and then when I needed a giggling-and-kicking feet-break while watching and obviously saw a few posts and gifs. Which didn’t exactly help my kicked-puppy-phase. I’ll come back to this later.

Anyway, I’m also hyperventilating about the “One cast-out Prince of Heaven was already bad enough” or something along those lines and was like “ARE THEY INDIRECTLY CONFIRMING THAT CROWLEY WAS THE ARCHANGEL RAPHAEL BEFORE HE FELL???” Because the way I see it, the answer seems to be yes.

Muriel basically said “I don’t have the clearance to show you these files, I’m really sorry” and Crowley just— the fact that the files can only be accessed by angels of higher status tells enough for us to know, but then again, I could be reading way too much into it and all of that could be something else entirely (which I highly doubt, but we saw that literally anything can happen).

Another thing that I absolutely loved was Saraquael’s floating wheelchair. It looked so cool, to be honest. I also liked that they decided to have a disabled angel, instead of going with “yeah, they’re all at peak physical performance”.

Coming back to the Idiots in Love, I honestly thought that it was hilarious of them to stick their noses into other people’s love lives, yet they’re blind/mute/deaf/whatever you want to call it when it comes to the both of them. Loved how two mere humans had to talk sense to a literal demon.

The Kiss. Oh, the Kiss. That broke me. I was worried at first when Aziraphale came back to the bookshop after his little walk and talk with Metatron and was actually shocked to find out that my anxious worry was right. Angel comes back with a two meters wide smile plastered on his face and suddenly starts talking about Heaven again.

That definitely hurt Crowley on an indescribable level. Imagine most of the current problems in your life have been solved again, you’re daydreaming about a lovely dinner at the Ritz with the love of your life and have (some of) your precious, peaceful and fragile existence back when suddenly all of your hopes and dreams get crushed by the very person that you love because they can’t help Heaven’s brainwashing and their own righteousness.

Imagine them happily talking about the very place that you were cast out of just for daring to question or even make suggestions for God’s Great Plan. Yup, definitely sucked for Crowley. I believe that in that moment, when he kissed Aziraphale, he was hoping to finally open the angel’s eyes and make him see and understand what Crowley truly meant.

He just wanted to be away from everyone and everything and have his love by his side, just like he always had been.

But Aziraphale didn’t—couldn’t!— understand that. He was losing his faith and frankly, I still think he does, but deep down, there’s this something in him that sees the good in everyone. Especially Heaven, because God and the angels are supposed to be the good guys here! Hell is obviously bad and evil, and so are demons, then Heaven must’ve been better!

He’s loved Crowley for as long as Crowley has loved him, but in that moment, he saw his chance to possibly make a change and had to take it. He doubted this decision, obviously!! But he also knew that change was desperately needed, even though he seemed to regret his choices and even considered just going back to Crowley.

Crowley, on the other hand, expected Aziraphale to immediately turn down the offer and when it was clear that he hadn’t, he tried to convince Aziraphale of just calling everything off. He waited outside by his car, because Aziraphale always came back after arguments like this. He came back when Crowley had asked for holy water, despite being against it. He came back when Crowley had offered to run away together multiple times during Armageddon. He always returned to Crowley despite his own opinions and Crowley thought that this might also be just like those times.

Except it wasn’t. He got another “I forgive you” and watched the most important person to him step into the elevator to Heaven. The bookshop was in the hands of a stranger and their countless ‘dates’ became just another thing in the past.

He was lonely again, just like he had been when he had fallen and this time, there didn’t seem to be a solution to his loneliness.

It was absolutely fulfilling to see Beelzebub and Gabriel get together and be happy and I was desperately hoping that we’d see the same with Aziraphale and Crowley, but it was just wishful thinking.

At this point, I think that Neil Gaiman just took everything he saw on Tumblr and Twitter and said “let’s put all of this into the second season, but with extra angst in the ending.”

Which is incredible!! But it still hurt my soul and I’m gonna be thinking about this until we hopefully get a season 3.

It’s 9am now, I’ve been typing this for an whole hour and am incapable of forming any coherent thoughts. If something else should come to my mind, I’ll post it after finally catching some Zs.

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens 2 review #sort of #aziraphale #crowley #nina good omens #maggie good omens #good omens beelzebub #good omens gabriel #i’m fucking sobbing #we need a season three #ineffable husbands #ineffable bureaucracy #no thoughts brain empty #just crying #remember when i said that crowley’s going through it this season? #yeah well it was all of them #emotional damage #emotional rollercoaster #good omens spoilers #good omens 2 spoilers

[pyrotechnicarus]

Hi we just watched Good Omens 2 (amazing by the way. the religious trauma of it all. also spoilers to follow) but as we were speculating about season 3 a friend pointed out something I'd never noticed before and haven't seen people talking about elsewhere -- namely that we haven't yet seen... people... in Heaven. Hell is so swamped with people that they are "chronically understaffed," they have new arrivals every day and devote huge resources to processing them. But everyone we've seen in Heaven so far has been an angel of some sort (or so I think, my memory of s1 might be foggy). The two aesthetics are cool as hell but they also carry information: Hell is much more populous than Heaven, with all the bureaucracy that comes with that and managing their own people. Heaven is pointedly and horrifically empty (though granted that could also be that we only see the Angel bureaucracy location, and the point they're making is that in Heaven the Principalities are kept separate from the former mortals for some reason.)

This is of course rampant speculation, but it does make me wonder if what Aziraphale will find as the new Head Archangel is that... nobody goes to heaven. Namely that the rules are so strict even "good" people get sent down on a technicality. I feel like finding out he's been selling people on Earth a practical lie about doing good so they can go to Heaven would manage to break his faith in the system and set him towards reform (this is partially bcs I think the arc of the show is tending towards radical political action as a central theme: Aziraphale is still trying to get the "right people" to fix a broken system, Crowley understands the system sucks but doesn't have the sense of duty to want to release everyone else from it, only himself and the guy he cares about. I feel like together they'd be able to enact real political change. Also why I think God is being set up as the main villain- to avoid the "right people" excuse and blaming it on the angels.)

#good omens #good omens spoilers #good omens season 2 #correct me if I'm wrong btw! I haven't watched the first season in a year at least so if we know there's former mortals in heaven pls #also I vaguely remember this being a plot point in the good place? but I think it was being used there to make a point about #commercialization and globalization and morality in a modern interconnected world #whereas I think good omens is looking backwards more: what were the rules the bible set out and is that really what's right #gos2 spoilers

[bigmamag]

I have what I think is a new theory about what happened at the end of season 2 of Good Omens. I think Aziraphale doesn’t tell Crowley what came after Metatron told Aziraphale that he can work with Crowley again and restore him to full angelic status. I don't think we're getting the whole conversation, not because Aziraphale has been drugged or anything like that, but simply because Aziraphale is the eponymous unreliable narrator—he’s literally narrating the conversation to Crowley, so Crowley and the audience are only getting whatever he’s willing (or able) to impart.

Metatron presumably still thinks they’re both immune to holy water and hell fire, so he thinks he can’t kill them. I doubt he'd hesitate to kill Crowley, but Aziraphale is different, not because Metatron gives a shit about him, but because it’s a matter of pride and there will NOT be an institutional problem in heaven on his watch. Aziraphale says he doesn’t want to go back to heaven, so how does Metatron convince him to go be the supreme archangel so he can be heaven's PR puppet while also completely separating him from Crowley? He knows the power they wield together: able to perform a miracle of 25 Lazarii together where apart they can barely bring one person back from the dead (for evidence of this, see how they can't resurrect Wee Morag and also this ask where Neil addresses their individual miracle capabilities.)

I think Aziraphale doesn’t reveal to Crowley that he actually tells Metatron that Crowley would never agree to come to heaven and be an angel again, because he knows Crowley. But then Metatron has the ultimate trump card, and here it is, the ‘give me coffee or give me death’ moment: Aziraphale must convince Crowley to come to heaven or he must leave him behind, because if he tries to interact with a demon again, Metatron will erase Crowley from the book of life.

Imagine if this is the reason for Aziraphale’s sudden change, then everything makes so much more sense that follows. Aziraphale’s intense worry before he walks into the bookshop, but the brightness and joy he exudes while trying to convince Crowley to come, like he’s giving the sales pitch of a lifetime and notice he’s almost manic with it:

“It’ll be just like old times, only even nicer!”

“Work with me! We can be together!”

“I don’t think you understand what I’m offering you.”

“I…I need you!”

“Then there’s nothing more to say.”

It’s breaking his heart, just the face he makes when Crowley says no nightingales, he knows exactly what that means. Crowley kisses him, and god imagine how much Aziraphale wants to stay with him, go off together, even forgets himself a little bit and clutches Crowley to him for a just a moment, but he can’t, Metatron is watching, notice that after he breaks the kiss, Aziraphale glances over to the window, because what if Metatron had seen that? He takes a bit finding the words, so he decides on what he knows is the worst thing he could say to make Crowley go away and not speak to him, because he’s in danger.

“I forgive you”

And he still looks to Crowley before he gets on the elevator, trying to memorize him before they’re forced to part forever. Metatron is right about one thing–everyone so predictably chooses the coffee, no one chooses death. I end with a quote from a wise man by the name of Cecil Palmer who once said about a white apache tracker, "what an asshole."

#good omens #ineffable spouses #theory number one trillion here #I've had a pot of coffee and now it's your problem too #Metatron #good omens theory

[clownhonkbonk]

talk about all of good omens s2!!! spoilers !!!

also, amazing job to everyone who worked on it !!!

you are going to be responsible for many therapy bills.

so uhm

that

that fucking ending

holy

i genuinely have no words

thats a lie i have so many words idk how to sort them out

like. okay, most of this is just me relaying what happened back to me cause frankly cant believe it.

( there's more talk than just the ending i promise -)

such, internalized ''homophobia'' ( i add quotation marks because they are not actually gay cause they're lil non binary guys but it is reflecting that ) and religious trauma .. that hurt so much when aziraphale just didn't know what to do, he put his hands on crowley briefly and then took them away, you could just tell what was happening and that hurt so much.

you could see how much crowley got affected by this

and then he expected aziraphale to see his side. to understand and then aziraphale would appologise, and they'd make up, and get an alcoholic breakfast at the ritz, just like they always did . but then he saw them walking out together. showing aziraphale choosing the " possiblity" of making something better of heaven, maybe stopping the destruction of earth completely. but crowley knows that it wont happen like that. crowley understands what heaven and hell are really like, but aziraphale is just so afraid of the thought.

crowley turned down hell for aziraphale and immediately thought aziraphale would do the same for him. they'd always been there for each other why could it have to stop then.

may you be forgiven is what aziraphale says when he does something that aziraphale thinks god would disagree on. or that heaven might disapprove. ( not of course including communicating with the enemy ) but then , a demon kissed him and he didn't pull away, he didnt try to stop it he froze. Let's make this clear, aziraphale very clearly loves crowley dearly, he is in love with crowley, but he still believes in heaven, and is stuck in his ideals of things of heaven is " the good guys " and hell is " the bad guys "

Crowley knows far better, he's known since he first got thrown out of heaven just for asking questions and throwing in some suggestions. he knows that neither one of heaven and hell are the good or bad guys. He sees the world in " a very dark shade of grey " while honestly being the nicest out of the angels and demons combined. ( tied with aziraphale i suppose:3 ) he knows that he loves aziraphale. he has for a very long time now. he knows aziraphale loves him back, at least he thought he did.

aziraphale touching his lips after in shame and doubt and confusion he doesn't know what to do. then he throws on a smile and , he goes back to heaven.

the fact that aziraphale said that he had nothing he needed to go to heaven with hurt. everything in that scene hurt but geez, he only wanted crowley, he only needs crowley, but he really fxcked that up huh. love you more than the stars aziraphale but GOSH DAMn you help one gay couple get together and then cant get with your demon boyfriend ??? ( once again they arent gay, i know - )

i bet crowley regrets letting him go on that walk, huh.

---

episode one talkies :D

also genuinely in love with the fact that crowley made the stars, with the tire iron thingy that he then uses to prepare himself to fight satan 6000 years later.

like what a guy.

also i love his hair he's a goof ball, honestly reminds me of david playing Phineas fog in around the world in 80 days, cause he's so excited by the new world and what it can do and what's out there to explore!! That's why hes so upset about the world ending at the start of it, he doesn't think the stars should go unappreciated, he doesn't think all the wonders of the sky should just be for staring at, he wants to watch it all happen.

and that also explains why crowley never asked aziraphale's name, because he already knew it :)

also aziraphale absolutely adoring crowley before there was anything means the world to me.

genuinely started crying when crowley protected aziraphale with his wing though.

--

zombie nxzi flesh eaters mini-sode talk:D

ok probably my favourite part of the season other than the ball.

the blitz had always been my favourite, and j really adored crowleys outfit, so gorgeous.

i loved that aziraphale trusted crowley completely in that moment

also was proud of myself immediately knowing that he switched the photo. ( i am small and was very satisfied )

also he 100% keeps that photo with him at all times. it's probably in his pocket.

i was honestly surprised that no sort of physical romantic thing happened that led to " you go to fast for me "

--

more of the last episode!!

i loved that maggie and nina didnt actually get together, it felt so much healthier for them to wait till they were ready. :)

also OFC LOVED GABRIEL AND BEELZEBUB!!! HONESTLY CANT BELIEVE THE FANDOM SAW THEM INTERACT ONCE AND SAID " THEYRE INLOVE " AND GOT IT SPOT ON!!

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens season 2 #good omens spoilers #good omens s2 spoilers #good omens s2 #good omens season 2 spoilers