#to SEE it the way I and many other queer people do

[genderqueerdykes]

now more than ever it's blatantly obvious that people go out of their way to erase trans men from communities and queer history. it's always been happening, but it's way easier to watch it in real time now thanks to the internet and social media. we are watching people basically gloating that they misgender trans men and don't see them as men. we are now watching people kick trans men out of queer spaces because they are often "femme and them" or "nonbinary and woman" support groups, conflating nonbinary identities with womanhood, and denying trans men or transmasc nonbinary people places to go. many of them get told that their presence would "scare" the lesbians, women and enbies because they have trauma.

where do the trans men with trauma go, though? we can't go anywhere. when i was struggling with domestic violence that ended up destroying my right leg, i was denied shelter in queer spaces and even women's spaces even though i have F on license. domestic violence shelters especially will turn trans men away if we pass. even if we partially identify as women, we can't go in because 'our voices are deep and scary and we're loud and aggressive and threatening and might prey on the defenseless scared women'

finding transmasc support groups is like trying to find a needle in a haystack. i've seen numerous organizations across the US have transfemme support groups, nonbinary/genderqueer support groups, and then nothing for transmascs. where the hell do we go when they won't let us go anywhere?

we try to exist online and they try to erase us from here, too. bickering and arguing about how we're not real men, sending trans men death and sexual assault threats, acting like they're saviors for kicking out the "dangerous ugly men" from the queer community, as if we don't belong to it at all.

i refuse to be erased. i refuse to sit in silence while people tell me my problems don't matter because now i "have male privilege". I don't. once people find out what my legal name is they view me as a woman. strangers however view me as a cis man and will deny me help, either through programs, or because i'm a "strong young man, i should be able to pick myself up by my boot straps." i'm not white. i'm not abled.

i'm proud to be a trans man and i will be here to fight for other trans men's rights to have a platform to speak, and spaces to occupy. i will not rest until trans men & mascs have safe places to be and meet other trans men.

trans men are queer. we belong here. we are taking up the space we rightfully deserve and we are not leaving.

#trans #transgender #trans man #trans men #trans boy #ftm #trans guy #nonbinary #non binary #enby #genderqueer #genderfuck #genderfucker #gender non conforming #genderfluid #demigender #bigender #polygender #multigender #lgbtqia #lgbtq #lgbt #queer #our writing #about us #transmasc #transmasculine #transmasculinity #transandrophobia #trans issues

[olderthannetfic]

Let me write a few more ableist bullshits https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/748245873503420416/i-really-hate-how-easily-it-is-to-notice-that?source=share

People are so insanely uncomfortable with something being deemed disabled, or under some type of disabling condition, that they'd rather try and remove the status of disability and make it something different. Who cares if the classification of "disability" is the only reason you can get help for it through insurances, healthcare or whatever other options exist across the world? Disability, the concept, the word, the idea, the entire thing, is somehow viewed as icky.

People are so disgusted by the idea of disability, that the moment it isn't visually obvious, you're not deemed disabled and will have to deal with harassment and other vitriol against you. It's more comfortable to accuse everyone of lying, than accept that some disabilities aren't obvious.

In discourse about privileges and rights, both queer and poc people, and their allies, feel too fucking comfortable trying to call out and belittle disabled people and even downplay the suffering of disabled people. Your suffering is only allowed to exist in tandem with another "oppression", and even then it's only ever second to those other ones.

People writing shit like "I don't see this person's disability I see their beautiful smile/personality/whatever the fuck." As if being visibly disabled is an otherwise ugly blemish you need to look past to see that disabled people are fucking human beings who deserve basic respect and being viewed as normal humans.

In fiction:

Certain disabilities are only allowed to exist as an aesthetic, but the moment it actually has to impact a character, it suddenly doesn't. There are too many people who want the idea of disability for some reason, but don't do anything with it. Here's a character who has problems walking... whoops now they suddenly don't have that problem when it would be too bothersome. It's also often that just specific neurodivergencies are permitted as well.

People, especially those not affected by certain disabilities also don't like it when disabilities have "adapted" in different settings. I still remember the discourse about Toph from ATLA not being a good blind character because she could "see", which obviously negates everything about her being blind... No it fucking doesn't. Disabled characters are allowed to adapt, and have their own way of moving around, disabled, especially blind, doesn't mean "useless worm".

--

[t1gerlilly]

I’ve seen a number of posts dismissing discussions of racism in the new storyline out of hand. To the point where I have no idea what the original criticisms were. And I think that’s really unfortunate. Partly because it feels like there’s a part of our community we’re not listening to and partly because I have some questions on the subject and would really like to hear what people are saying about it, but I’m clearly not following the right people.

I think folks forget how important Eddie is as Hispanic rep. Although 25% of the US population is Hispanic, only 3.3% of lead roles in TV are played by Hispanic actors (source) They’re also only 1.6% of showrunners and 1.9% of directors. And they are also under 5% of executive or management roles in media (source). So there is clearly a systemic problem.

But how does that apply to 911? Well - Carlos on lone star is notorious for having the least screen time of any character, despite the fact that his character is the closest to Athena in terms of role. And Eddie? Well, the latest I could find was season five totals - and Eddie and Chim, the non-white or black men, were bottom of the barrel. To really establish a pattern, you’d want more than two shows, but at least across half a decade of shows, the pattern is pretty consistent. I’m not making an argument about the reasons for that, but those are just the numbers. If I were to speculate, I’d assume it was a combination of who the network exec, showrunner, and executive producer was, since they have the power to make decisions. Just coincidentally, their racial identities mirror the screen time of the characters? Hmmmm

So then let’s look at who does press for the show - making themselves more visible…yeah, that’s largely Oliver. And you can say that’s because he’s a POV character- but you might be surprised to learn that in many seasons either Hen or Athena had more screen time than Buck. Yeah. Really. But you NEVER see Aisha put out to do press the way that Oliver is.

Why is that? Is it because she’s a black woman? Because she plays a queer character? And who is making that decision and why? Because that lack of visibility impacts her personal career. Same thing with Ryan Guzman and Kenneth Choi, who both have less screen time AND less press.

But in particular- and this is the rub - Ryan has CLEARLY been making intentional acting choices FOR YEARS to shape his character and his dynamic with Buck as queer. Oliver played into them, thinking of them as natural chemistry- but it’s clear that other creators on the show - notably the directors and writers, picked up on Ryan’s choices and fan reactions to reframe the dynamics and the characters.

And it’s really clear that Tim originally intended to have Eddie come out, but the poor reaction to Natalia and the fact that the actress was unavailable led him to switch the storyline to Buck. All of which is perfectly understandable.

But if there’s one person most responsible for the reason we ultimately got bi!Buck, it’s Ryan Guzman - for the bravery and perseverance of his choices as an artist. It’s amazing to me that in all the praise for Oliver saying that he “would have” leaned into Buck as queer even without the go ahead…no one has thought to praise the actor who actually DID THAT - for YEARS- when he was in a much more precarious position as a character and an actor. Like really take a minute to look at what that took…he was risking his livelihood with that choice.

And then, when the show DOES finally make it canon…who gets the praise? The buzz? The support? The white guy who was mostly oblivious for the past five years. Like…how is THAT fair?

And OK, the original plan was for the helicopter pilot to be Lucy, and that fell through so they reached out to Lou, because Tommy was a former character- but also quite likely because he looks a good deal like Buck - and the SL was supposed to have that character be a stand-in for the other half of Buddie. When they switched to Buck, they had to make Tommy have similar hobbies to Eddie to establish the similarities, since they couldn’t rely on looks.

But that meant they totally whitewashed the story line. And if you want to talk about firsts - when has a Hispanic lead come out as gay or bi? And how many of them were men? And how many were over 21? And on a mainstream show?

And no, it wasn’t intentional (just a function of having so many more white characters than Hispanic characters), but it was unfortunate. Not to mention the intersectionality of it all.

So…I honestly think there’s a decent basis for critique there. Not a “these people are terrible” critique, but a “not paying attention to diversity systemically” in a way that lets unconscious bias have the same impact as deliberate bias.

And I really wonder at the people who just dismissed the entire discussion - how hard did you listen? How willing were you to hear what people were saying? Because this is an issue that has to do with real people, their careers, their hopes, dreams, and identities. And you should be willing to listen.

#911 abc #eddie diaz #ryan guzman #911 discourse #911

[is-the-owl-video-cute]

CNC originally meant for a sub to consent to things they would not consent to at the discretion of a dom. It was for seasons where the sub's hard-limits did not matter, only the doms. It could be done with or without safewords. Which is why the practice is so controversial and why it is called consensual non-consent in the first place. At some point, people started using it to mean actual rapeplay and it stuck but the original definition is likely why the other Anon was confused. I think that they knew the original/real meaning but somehow missed the popular misuse of the term.

It didn’t stick with the term because, and I cannot express this enough, that is just sexual abuse. There’s no reason to call it anything else. At a certain point if a term is being used almost exclusively to refer to something else, the origin of the term is irrelevant.

The word gay used to mean jovial or gaudy and flamboyant, now it means queer or homosexual. Hell, queer used to just mean odd, but if you say gay or queer it’s going to be assumed you aren’t using the original definitions.

Like I said in the other ask, the definition you’re attributing to CNC is some 50 Shades nonsense that no one actually does. If you went into a kink space and said “yeah I purposely ignore my sub’s real hard-limits and made them give me permission to do it so it’s totally fine” someone might get their puppy boy to bite and maul them like a rabid animal because you’re admitting to real sexual abuse and rape.

There’s plenty of real kink blogs on this site. Go take a browse and see how many of the CNC ones think any of what you’re referring to is acceptable. R.I.P. to all five people who used the term that way originally I guess, but at this point it’s synonymous with rape-play and used in lieu of that term to avoid implying real sexual abuse is erotic.

I’ve been in kink spaces for longer than some of my followers have been alive and I have never heard anyone use it to mean a dom gets to force a sub into a scene that is legitimately a hard-limit for them with the absence of any means for the sun to retract consent to that.

Because rape isn’t kink, and that definition falls squarely into the former category.

[keenonkinkley]

The reason I love Tommy’s character is because I see so many peoples journeys in his, from who he was when he was still in the closet and scared to who he is now being open about his sexuality. I love seeing stories of growth especially when the characters are older because it does reflect real life in a lot of ways.

I’ve known that I was bi since I was 14 but I struggled to accept that for a while even though I had told people I was bi (thank you religious trauma) and there were so many times that I was so unkind to myself. I’m turning 24 and it was this year that I finally accepted myself fully, after a decade of wrestling with myself so I love Tommy’s growth and I love Buck’s journey where he’s finding that part of himself a little later in life. These are important stories to tell because they do happen and I could not be happier with the way that Oliver and Lou have brought them to life.

I think that's why I love kinkley so much. Both characters represent very real stories that we don't often see in mainstream media. I, personally, have cried to my friend multiple times about how this storyline makes me feel seen in a way I've never felt before. So seeing how much it positively affects me, and hearing how it positively affects others, I can't understand why people are trying to tear this ship down.

Also, I'm glad you've been able to accept yourself! I know how much of a struggle it can be to accept being queer in any form, but I hope you (and everyone) know that there's nothing wrong with it, despite what so many religions try to tell us.

#buck x tommy #bucktommy #evan buckley #kinkley #tevan #tommy kinard #tuck

[lets-pretend-i-exist]

“Growing up queer can feel monstrous, and I need to see that on screen. When you get preached at that people like you go to Hell for what you are and the ways you want, you start to relate to the demons. When you’re taught the truest, most joyful parts of you are unholy, it’s fair to ask—why should I respect the authority of a system that hates me for reasons I can’t control?

You learn to disguise your desire, and it changes you. It changes you to choke down your feelings, to deny them, to believe that they are sin. You learn to pour them into the hidden language of love that arises between you and whoever you’re lucky enough to share it with, so you don’t learn how to say them aloud. (Their arrangement, “little demonic miracle of my own,” the fourth alternative rendezvous. This is what queer love has looked like for millennia: something beautiful and true, despite, despite, despite.) Unlike those whose love has only ever been legal, permitted, “normal,” “holy”—your relationship is inescapably shaped by the threat behind it.”

“Serpent of Eden, gardener cast from the garden, sculptor of starlight doomed to the pits of hell. You thought nothing would hurt worse than falling, and then you fell for him.”

“You can’t leave this bookshop, Crowley says, but he’s asking, don’t you want me?

Nothing lasts forever, Aziraphale says, but he’s saying there’s nothing I wouldn’t sacrifice for you.”

“This is the shit I’ve been waiting for all my life. When God abandons you, when you’re not sure what to believe in, who to trust—look at who knows you. Who sees you, and wants to know who you are.

Queer love isn’t neat. The closet isn’t just one thing. Love isn’t love isn’t love isn’t love. I’ve always hated that expression, because queerness should be normalised, not defanged.”

“He’s not a human, but he is queer: his love is forbidden, marginalized, at odds with the foundations of morality he’s been taught. And like many queers who get the opportunity to rise through the ranks of a discriminatory system, he thinks he can change it from the inside.”

“This is how human. There’s nothing of you I don’t want. You’ve got me. I want anything you’ll give me, as long as it’s you.”

“If Crowley could feel the Bentley go yellow, I can only imagine what it felt like to drive through hellfire to meet Aziraphale at the air base at the end of the world.”

-

I feel like I’m going to be sick: every paragraph of this post is one astute gut-punch after another.

It feels like the author has strung together all the nebulous pieces – pieces that draw a spot of blood when the curious observer pricks a finger on them individually – to form a somewhat gruesome answer that one feels should have been obvious from the outset. Electricity pulses through the remnant parts and they roar to life in terrifying glory.

I’m thinking about Troye Sivan singing “if I’m changing a part of me / maybe I don’t want heaven.” I’m thinking about “the only heaven I’ll be sent to / is when I’m alone with you.” I’m thinking about six thousand years of codes and handwritten notes and meeting on the top of buses, and in art galleries, and at concerts and St James’ Park and all of it necessarily taking place in the background. I’m thinking about everyone else being able to see it clearly but those involved being unable to give voice to the precious, peaceful, fragile existence that we have carved out for ourselves. I’m thinking about Neil calling this season “quiet and gentle and romantic” and that being true but also so completely deceptive.

Season 2 did break me in a way that I don’t think any media, even intrinsically queer media like Sense8, has done before. It didn’t just take up residence in my mind for every spare second of the day. It took me weeks to even mostly recover from the complete decimation it enacted on much of my mind and heart. And in a terribly conceited way, the more I think about it (beyond the profound power of the media itself), this is because I relate to Aziraphale in terms of my past and I relate to Crowley in terms of my imagined future. My present self sits somewhere in between.

Aside from the whole concept of gender representation and presentation — an even more complicated matter than this — I see my past self as like Aziraphale, desperately trying to reconcile who I knew I was and what I knew I wanted with the system and community that I was embedded in. Wanting to believe that people could change their minds if I just compromised enough, just went slowly enough, just worked diligently enough and conformed enough.

I haven’t quite reached the point I want to be: somewhere nearby to Crowley’s position – of shrugging off the whole system and edifice, ripping up the ending, leaving nothing but freedom and choice. I’m not there yet; still clinging to some naive, vague notion that there is any level to which one can compromise one’s own self for the palatability of others without effectively rejecting the self entirely.

I think that seeing this dichotomy presented in s2 like that, converging suddenly, ultimately collapsing in on itself, felt like something breaking within me. These lies and half-truths we tell each other, these stories we use to get through the day — that abrupt loss, realising these choices are fundamentally incompatible… in a non-suicidal way, that loss was internally reminiscent of the fate of Neil Gaiman’s 24/7 diner. When all that artifice and self-soothing is stripped away and one is forced to reckon with what little remains, how will the gap be filled? What will one choose to do? Bury the self or forsake the system?

#ramblings #good omens #this becomes borderline incomprehensible and I’m aware of that #I still have a lot of feelings #queer things #little demonic miracle of my own #god I just want everyone to watch good omens and UNDERSTAND IT #to SEE it the way I and many other queer people do #also ‘bury the self’ gives a new spin to bury your gays #I’ve put this on the wrong blog but whatever

[thepoisonroom]

that post that's like "learning social skills helps with social anxiety" applies to dating also btw

#i guess they have a circular relationship because also going on lots of first dates was really trial by fire for me in learning lots lf #new social skills #meeting new people was never my strong suit and i was very afraid of it and would avoid it but like! #when i first tried going on first dates i learned a lot about how to meet people and met types of queer people i'd never met before #and actually it was good for me even though it was often weird and stressful #and it was a lower-stakes way to practice social skills that i otherwise would've just avoided using until they atrophied #anyway whenever i see a dating profile that's like 'i'm afraid of talking to women lol' i'm like ok relatable but what's your plan to learn #i think also just like it doesn't have to be through dating but it is good for you to meet other gay and trans people offline if possible #when i moved to wisconsin i only knew my coworkers who were mostly also twentysomethings who'd been hired straight from college #and it was good for me to meet and make friends with other local gay and trans people who were involved in different stuff #idk i just don't know how many more 'i'm obsessed with romance but scoff at the idea that i should do anything about that' posts i can read #like if i said i wanted to run a marathon but i never practiced running people would fairly be like okay that's prob not gonna happen #idk i know it's no skin off my nose i'm just like. if you never take any steps towards expressing your desires #how do you think they're going to just happen to you #personal nonsense

[andoutofharm]

anyway please show love to your queer and indigenous friends and show support for the groups and organizations trying to make a difference for these communities IN the states they live in. most of us don’t want to leave, and we shouldn’t HAVE to leave to be recognized as humans worthy of rights and respect and love, not just by our representatives but also by queer people (especially white people) in big cities in the north who assume their experiences are universal.

#seeing all the outpouring of love to the queer and/or indigenous people in oklahoma these last few days has been the one encouraging #thing to come out of all of this #but i have seen just as many comments of dismissal and ‘thats what you get for living in oklahoma’ FROM other queer people #and . honestly if that is your attitude fuck you. you have no way of understanding what it’s like to be queer here. #you dont know what youre talking about. educate yourself or shut up. #and like. i am not indigenous so i do not share firsthand experience with what they experience #but i have been around them all my life and i am always trying to learn how to do better for and by them #and you should do the same.

[starrysharks]

i wonder if white people specifically white progressives realise that black people are only ever seen as their skin color first and foremost

#this goes for all poc but im talking about black people here #black people are constantly connected to their skin color and tone in good ways and in not good ways #people will always see you as your race first because white is considered the default #like if someone wanted to insult me the first thing they would go for is my race or gender presentation #whenever an actor is cast for a role people see the fact that they are black before anything else - talent. style. etc is ignored #black people are othered in society to put it bluntly . that is why white people get so upset when black people are cast as any role #or when they uuuuuh you know exist #and if the other becomes the majority - say a movie with mostly black people or a black-exclusive setting #then white people will get uncomfortable and complain #maybe the way i explained it is weird idk im not good at explaining #what im trying to say is that blackness is not something you can hide unless you are able to pass as white/are biracial etc. #and so the many stereotypes about black people are what people see first #what i'm trying to get at is that the way people percive black people completely changes our experiences esp if we're queer or women #a white and visibly queer person will have a different experience than a black and visibly queer person #and white progressives often forget that #sorry if this was explained weird im not a good explainer and also some bad shit happened today so my head is not really in the game #do people even say that god #whatever man

[daz4i]

how and why is there discourse about whether or not certain queer identities exist/if people should be allowed(???) to use them. why is "people know their own identity better than you ever could, and they're the only one who get a say on what they are" such a tough concept to grasp

i think if you find yourself offended by the label someone uses (especially if they're a stranger) or think it invalidates your own, it's a good idea to look inside yourself and question why that may be. more often than not, it's a result of insecurity or uncertainty of your own identity (or many other things, but i won't make a whole list here). whatever reason it is, until you resolve it, you shouldn't take it out on people for having an identity you don't understand

many have said it before but it's worth saying over and over. infighting only helps our oppressors. conservatives don't care if you're a cis gay or a xenogender aegosexual aplatonic lesbian, they hate all of us either way. trying to fit in by going for people who are easier targets for them isn't gonna help you, it'll just alienate you from your own community, and you're never gonna please them. the momentary rush you get from hearing you're not like "one of /those/ gay people" is not worth it and is gonna do more harm in the long run, i assure you

also, it is important to me to say this, but having some less than nice kneejerk reaction caused by confusion about an identity you don't understand doesn't mean you're a bad person or anything. as long as you aren't mean to that person, and you take a second to think smth along the lines of "wait a minute, this isn't any of my business" after having said reaction, you're good 👍 a lot of reflexive reactions we have to things are ingrained into us simply by. well. living in a society 🤡 and you're not terrible for having those thoughts. it's your actions that matter, and your second thought (the "wait, why did i just think that?") is more defining of your actual character and morals than your reflex. i know that having thoughts like this, even tho they're unwanted, can very easily make one spiral, so it's important to me that whoever needs to hear this knows this doesn't make you a bad person 🙏 you're good, keep taking actions to be good, accept other people even if you don't understand them, and you're on the right track :)

#i considered adding that last part in the tags but i figured it'll be too long for that 😭 #i noticed i'm posting a lot of rants lately. sorry. but i do wanna make sure no one's actually feeling bad over them #if i complain about something that you do or call it mean and such. that doesn't make you a bad person #you can always work to change and grow 👍 it's not easy but it starts with smaller steps than you'd expect #and now i just switched to a whole other topic from my original point. oops #i do firmly believe that any discourse about someone's identity is dumb as fuck #seeing it in poll blogs always makes me 😐😬 like how is it any business for any of us. why is this up for debate #if a person says they're queer then they are. they don't need to pass some test or go through initiation to be accepted #if they feel comfortable with a certain word that's awesome. why does it matter to *you* which word they use #'they're only using this microlabel to feel special' so? is there anything wrong with that? #'this label contradicts [insert other identity that falls under the same umbrella]' ok. but does that hurt anyone in any way #a lot of identities can even be self contradictory. does it matter tho? does it affect anyone in any way? #'they might realize that label is wrong later' again. what's the harm in that. #i don't blame anyone for these thoughts bc like. this is how cishets view a lot of the even more common labels #so you're basically taught to think this way from day one. that doesn't mean you need to stick to that thought process #you might have these reflexes forever no matter how hard you try. but you'll get quicker about moving on from them #but you do have to try. you do have to realize that other people's identities aren't about you #anyway. this post feels like batting at a hornets nest. really hope i don't get some bad faith readers here lol #(i noticed a lot of places one could apply bad faith but like it's 3:30 am i'm too tired to add this many disclaimer. #so i'm gonna trust you to not jump to conclusions and to approach this in good faith okay? mwah 🖤) #also my whole ramble abt morality (in the tags too) is relevant to. any topic really #i may just make a separate post about it really. .....tomorrow tho.

[literatureandshit]

white gays have been so annoying about olivia rodrigo’s song lacy. because they always go in with the same one dimensional ass perspective. as a POC listening to another POC, lacy is literally about her insecurities of being latina and watching as everyone always desires the white girl. being white is seen as beautiful and delicate and ideal. she’s describing lacy in vivid detail because that’s how she wants to look. but no. it has to be about coming the fuck out as if the whole album isn’t about her toxic relationship with a man and how he’s made her feel. it lowkey feels like white gays completely erased rodrigo’s race so it’ll fit their narrative. and that’s annoying

#and no hate to people who do interpret it that way #but you’re annoying as all fuck #the song isn’t that hard to grasp but what do i know #ur allowed to have ur opinions. if u think she’s queer more props to u #me personally i think it’s not my fucking business and idc #listen to more queer artists if u want queer music #but projecting onto others is so odd and frustrating to see #bc u guys completely swamp social media and gets so many views while POC and our interpretations get unheard #i do not like y’all #i’m prolly gonna delete this later

[musical-chick-13]

Fandom be normal about bi women challenge (impossible. apparently.)

#look. I too am tired of (white) men getting praised for the bare minimum #but you all do realize that sometimes women do genuinely fall in love with men right #that women are capable of making their own decisions about who they date right #this is one of the reasons that I hate the 'genuinely I hate every single individual man' rhetoric #because so many times it goes hand in hand with this infantilization of women who are attracted to men #it's like 'oh these poor girls trapped in their attraction to men' and then like...treating them as if they are incapable of making informe #choices? like they're just inherently doomed to gravitate toward awful men because they Don't Know Any Better and are #Brainwashed By Society??? please tell me you understand why treating women as if they are too stupid to make their own decisions #is just misogyny again. you understand that right. RIGHT. #'why would you CHOOSE to date a man instead of doing the RESPONSIBLE and PROGRESSIVE and REVOLUTIONARY thing and date a woman!' #because sometimes. women fall in love with men. you can't. you can't will love into existence. you can't control who you fall in love with. #and people-if it's feasible-tend to want to commit to someone they have actual feelings for. what's not clicking here. #(and yes obviously this is a niche-queer-spaces-specific problem people don't have discourse about this in this way irl like the #general population isn't telling me I should only ever be attracted to women and date one solely For The Cause they don't want me #to be interested in women at all. that doesn't stop me from being annoyed every time I see said niche-space-specific ''''take'''') #it's especially confusing to me when BISEXUAL PEOPLE are like this about other bisexual people. like you of all people. should know #how maligned we are from multiple conflicting angles #In the Vents #biphobia #like I know I talk SO much about women and how I want to marry one but that genuinely is just because historically I have been more #attracted to women than men. if I meet a man I click with and fall in love with then hell yeah I'm gonna date him and be happy about it. #I'm not opposed to that outcome at all. but heaven forbid I ever say that lmao

[bmpmp3]

dysgraphic artiƨts risɘ UP!!!!!

#raise your pencils!!!! and erasers. to fix the backwards letters 😔 #sorry still thinking about my weirdness with my art professors. yknow a lot of em have been really pushing us as #students to make our personal identities a major part of like our 'brand' as artists #which. well from an art history major perspective thats a very contentious and nuanced topic. i love a lot of artists who live this way #and i think its great seeing my peers who focus on identity thrive. but also as an fine arts major (double major fool LOL) #i keep getting pushed by teachers into like. specific '____ artist' identities??? #specificaly woman artist. which is a little bizarre because im a bit fat and a bit gnc so im generally like. ungendered? in day-to-day life #(which doesnt actually matter to me directly that much honestly LOL people tend to view me as like. buddy? buddy or pal.) #(not man. not woman. not anything human. sometimes i remind people of a beloved dog. which. hkdsahjk thats its own can of worms) #(a can of worms that also doesnt matter much to me directly because im a wannabe furry who chose to be the dog when playing house as a kid) #(LOL so um. well. theres that) but yeah i dunno i dont really consider myself a woman artist. its been. shockingly (and sometimes luckily?) #irrelevant to most of my life and experiences and art (although dont get me wrong misogyny is very real and very present) so i dont #have a whole lot to say about it from an art perspective. you could also call me all kinds of things. a queer artist. a mixed race artist #again technically correct. some aspects more visible in my work than others. but also very technical. i focus on race a lot in in my #art historical work but i dunno how much my drawings have to say. except that i keep making too many mixed ocs LOL #i dunno i just think my professors gotta focus that energy away from tokenizing me and over to supporting like actual #capital W Woman artists capital Q Queer artists capital A Artists of Colour who are doing far more interesting things than I #far more thought out and engaged in these topics directly. i just kind of stumble into my art blindly and confused <3 #sorry that was a long tangent WHAT IM SAYING Is despite all that: i do consider myself a capital D Dysgraphic artist #i think its an unmovable constant of my art and the way i draw and the way my hands move. the untrained eye doesnt seem to be as aware #of it directly. but those who are familiar can probably see it. the dysgraphia LOL if not just from whenever i write a letter or number #half of them are busted and frantically fixed HDKJSDJDS but its in all my art. if u can see it <3 ive been trying to embrace it #dygraphic artists raise your pencils indeed!! and throw away the eraser!!! make the legibility of your words everyone elses problem!!! #what does that say? what is that sketch? none of my business! none of your business!! its the business of my hand and the pencil alone #motor skill and spatial issues take the wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel

[jemandrr]

accidentally browsing a (very niche) female-dominated gaming space and seeing people TEAR into people who want an option to change the player character's pronouns to he/him or they/them without changing anything else because it'd invite men to invade a safe space. For a game purely about dating men. Like, I've been through plenty of female-dominated spaces where queer people and similar-interest straight men are welcome (in this case it'd be bi men but yknow), so it's just this one community, but jeez. The amount of fear that anyone who isn't explicitly a femme female would come in and A. hit on the faceless women there or B. taint the game by making the devs add designs of men who they don't want to date?

I got such a strong terf-y rhetoric from that community, like we can't have anything in common with people who aren't like us going on. All about taking 'our' things. And a lot of people contradicting one other but not trying to find out what the truth is because they have the same conclusion. Like two people saying A>B or B>A and no argument arises and no one shows interest in which is true because both people conclude C.

A lot of people even saying that, likewise, things that appeal to female or queer audiences should NOT be added to mainstream media just like queer content should not be added to female-oriented media. These hard walls around what belongs to who is like...they were raised by toy companies or something.

Like what is (paraphrasing so it isnt searchble) "I would never come into a male dominated community because I feel like I would be invading their safe space, so I don't get why men would want to come here and talk about liking men." At least the people who are scared of sexual abuse are warranted, I've seen tons of abusive language towards people they think are women in male dominated online spaces, but what is this fear of even...sharing interests with men? I know we've been in a new era of gender role enforcement with the tradfem movement, but jeez. And as for these last two points, they both are ones that were contradicted. People also said they do believe in diversity BUT just *this* shouldn't count.

Some people even said it's not fair that they get pushed to be more inclusive when mainstream media never does. Which makes me wonder if they're so deep in their niche 'I only experience content made by and for exclusively straight women' content that they haven't noticed any of the movements in media going on over the last 1.5 decades. Like it's true that we haven't made that much progress, but how do they think that no media gets pressed to increase diversity? The more rigid/right-leaning male audiences of tons of media have been complaining about forced diversity for years in exactly the same way (and sometimes, when it really WAS forced diversity, everyone complains because it's not representing anyone really but yknow). But I guess they wouldn't know that if all of them avoid mainstream media?

Also...what is the fear that gay men like men in a 'wrong' way...(and again, the unargued contradiction being plenty of people saying that they also like media about gay characters, but just they shouldn't make these characters gay)

And like I do get it, in the sense that being marginalized makes you skeptical and fearful of things you don't understand in its own separate way from how being in a privileged class makes you skeptical and fearful of things you don't understand. There's a lot more fear of exploring things different and new because the possible retribution feels/has been higher.

Honestly, this post isn't actually about a couple hundred to low-thousand women in a small community for niche games. Not like, I think it's important, I want to actively make them change. It's not that big a deal, not that surprising in the grand scheme. It's similar rhetoric to things i've seen before (Tradfem/terf). I've seen screenshots of, like, facebook mom groups before. And I've seen way bigger communities be way more open and welcoming, it's just a little outlier.

I'm just writing this because I'm a bit shellshocked because I forget how much that those kinds of people are not just the older, tech-illiterate generations, and not just shallow influencers who will say anything for the clicks (or because someone behind the scenes is funding it), their views behind the camera up in the air. Like I think I cultivate the people I interact with a bit too well. Too many of the people I actually interact with or witness the thoughts of regularly are queer and have flitting relationships with gender and then I remember the other side of the coin has people who think they're being progressive by suggesting that everyone who is different be segregated and therefore safe from each other with no room for intersectionality.

#for the record in other communities talking about the same game i saw several people sharing tips for making androgynous or slightly butch #characters which is the wholesomeness on the other side #ranting into the void #is this one of those situations of like #'the celebrity you call ugly will never see this but the person you know who shares those features will?' #but with 'The men who want to invade your safe spaces will never see this but the he/him butch and other queer people who are otherwise #generally your advocates in political and social spaces will' #also ngl being gay admittedly does make this so much easier #but i cannot imagine having the idea that #categorically #'you and your partner cannot have any interests in common' but so many do #And honestly I would have trouble believing that any women who says they're scared ofplaying or discussing a videogame #with a gnc or gay person- would say that irl they're not a terf and they would let gnc and trans people into the same public bathroom #like i can believe it because people hold lots of contradictory ideas but #if more than 20% of them said it i would think that was legitimately virtue signalling #because while i think trans panic is waaaaay less common than the media thinks #inside a community with those beliefs when they can talk anonymo usly #itd be a tough sell for me. I have to imagine most of those women are the kind who would find out their partner was bi #and start feeling uncomfortable about the state of their relationship- with the way they talk about how men can't enjoy female things like #dating men and such #ALSO there are more women than men #wtf do you mean mainstream media is only for straight men #straight adult men is #like 30-odd percent of the us tops #they got more purchasing power cus of sexism and homophobia and so on but #its so self defeating to think of mainstream media as exclusively the purview of straight men

[famewolf]

all my old fav youtubers coming back this fall has gotten me into a mood where I've been diving back into old bands I used to listen to religiously. and i gotta say ... they all still slap

#[static] #not that i ever stopped listening to them much but ive been playing the entire album instead of just listening to favorites #so many memories tied to certain albums fkjghdf #i dont miss being a teen/in my early 20s at all life was so much harder and confusing and it was the height of my worst mental health years #but the world did feel simpler #the punk and emo scene fucked HARD in the early 2000s and 2010s #i hope we see a revival (and i feel like ive been seeing some new artists that hit that nostalgia in the right way) #i have been genuinely feeling Older recently and not in a bad way. its just funny to be in an age bracket that is a minority where i work #ppl are either way to old to know what im talking about or where literal babies when i was in school #i had to explain what camp was at work the other day and also they had no idea what rocky horror picture show was and me and the - #other gay millennial at work were losing our minds that people in their 20s hadnt heard of rocky horror #politely losing our minds of course like ... who cares if people dont know or do the things we did as young queers but also it - #- definitely made us feel older! #theyve also been playing a station that has all the music from my middle school and high school years .... #you know you're getting old when theres now a store radio station for it LOL they never play anything current

[gandreida]

Man. It is rough being the only queer person in my family. I would like a relationship with these people, but they’re a bunch of cishets and getting close to one of them reminds me of why i distanced myself in the first place.

#mourning my cousin and mourning the relationship i never had with her because ive been so distant #trying to form a relationship with other survivng cousins and feeling their cishet eyes upon me #to have a relationship with these people is to be on the defensive so as to protect myself #to have a relationship with them is to prepare myself to be ignored if I try to explain queer struggles #to have those struggles played down #cishet white folks who subscribe to the predominant gender binary and can willingly ignore the rise of fascism #the cousin who reaches out the most couldn’t stop saying that our cousin’s death affects her more than most because they were close #spoke almost exclusively about herself during her speech at our cousin’s memorial #during the memorial in general I felt like i was in a dream #genuinely felt out of touch with reality #i kept expecting her to walk through the door #i saw her face several times in the people that were there #she took her own life and I can’t even ask why #depression is so deceptive. when I’m depressed I tend to act happier just so folks dont catch on and I can see now that she ws doing the sam #hearing people talk about her had me feeling like I was being described #so many of the things she valued & did for others & just liked to do in general are things I heavily relate to #she may be gone but I feel her with me in that way. #im tired and i need a hug