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moongothic · 5 months

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i would love trans crocodile but im very cynical that oda would write him in a respectful manner. thats not even thinking of how horrible that one portion of the one piece fandom would treat him

Yeah the fandom sucks and I'm going to strangle everyone (including the cishets who claim to be trans allies and then use "Crocomom")

But with Oda it's weird because like. The more I think about it, the more I'm like... 50/50 about Oda being able to actually deliver good, respectful trans masc rep.

Like I've posted about this before but One Piece does have this on-going theme of having characters "stuck in wrong bodies" or "having one's body changed" (sometimes reversably, sometimes irreversably; sometimes against their will, sometimes consentually). Which, in theory, in my mind, does kind of signal that on some level Oda understands the idea of being "the wrong sex" (whether or not that's a good way to explain The Trans Experience™ is a whole different subject but it's an old fashioned explanation that Oda would probably be/is familiar with) But at the same time, while the concept pops up again and again in One Piece, Oda doesn't really dwell too deep into the idea of what that's like. Like, emotionally. How it feels like to like, get turned into a toy or be a child who gets aged 20 years or to get turned into a cyborg or a giant child or have parts of your body permanently turned into animal parts (sometimes with a will of their own) etc

And like. Part of me understands why, Oda does tend to want to focus on writing a story he thinks teenaged boys would be interested in reading, and he has often stated he wants to have fun with his story too (like that's partially why Luffy's a Rubber Man, because Oda thought giving Luffy a ridiculous ability would make him more fun to write and draw long-term, which is valid as hell) This is why for example Oda has avoided doing any romances in OP, and while there are dark themes in the story, often he has done his best to avoid making them too blatant, as some things would be too mature for his youngest readers (like, for example until Kuma's backstory, it was never explicitly stated what would happen to the slave wives of the Tenryuubito, even saying it was "implied" would be pushing how that subject had been treated until now)

So like. Because of that, I understand why Oda hasn't dwelled into The Feelings™ part much/at all despite the "stuck in the wrong body" narrative appearing time and time again

Either Oda thinks it'd be too boring either for himself or his readers, or he hasn't dwelled into it because he doesn't really understand gender dysphoria and can't relate to the experience (despite how often it shows its face in OP). Or it could be both, even

The thing is though, as OP has gone on, while I wouldn't say Oda has "broken his writing rules", Kuma's backstory alone has pushed them to a new limit with the love-that-never-was story and the all-but-explicitly-stated storytelling.

So a part of me wonders, if Crocodile is trans, could Oda actually like... take a slightly deeper look into his feelings and explore his queer experience? ('Cause god knows, if Crocodad Real, then there really would be a literal coming out-story built into his backstory that would be extremely unavoidable, and as I've mentioned before, the fact that we haven't gotten to learn almost anything about his backstory yet is Kinda Fucking Sus)

Also I do want to mention how... like Oda gets a lot of bad rap when it comes to queer rep in One Piece, but the more I think about it, I think it's more an issue with the terminology and how translators have gone about either localizing it, or more often than not, leaving it unlocalized 'Cause like. Yes the "okama" would be horrible trans rep but... really... they're not trans representation. They're representation for draq queens. Piss poor draq rep, but still, they're draq queens. And just like our very real life drag performers; some of them are cishets. Some of them are gender non-conforming gay men. Some of them are nonbinary*. Some of them are trans women. Obviously lumping all of these people into one group is kinda offensive (which is why "okama" is (as far as I understand it) such an unpopular term even amongst queer people in Japan), and the way Oda often chooses to draw these characters looks no different to how gender criticals choose to present trans women in their propaganda.

*Like Bon-chan, who explicitly states they are both male and female. And Iva-chan, who switches between boy-mode and girl-mode from time to time, could arguably be called genderfluid (though any specific terminology is up to debate). Both are nonbinary draq queens.

And yet, despite all that. It can not be understated how if you put aside the nameless background gag-characters, Oda does treat the actual, proper queer characters with respect. Everyone would agree that Bon-chan is an absolute hero, we would all die for them. Iva-chan (and Inazuma too) is explicitly presented in a heroic light, seen as someone who helps people and fights for justice (with the Revs)

And then there's the first binary trans characters we've actually gotten, Okiku and Yamato. And I'm pretty sure we would all agree Okiku is 10/10 perfect trans fem representation (I am not entirely serious, I'm not trans fem so I can't speak for trans women here, it's just that I can't see anything Horrendously Wrong with how Okiku is presented within the story- not actually perfect but all things considdered, damn good). She is stunning, people around her (INCLUDING SANJI!!) don't just view her as a woman but would go out of their way to date her (as in, she is seen as "desirable", and not as some kind of a disgusting freak to avoid), she is heroic and sweet and kind and just. IDK I love her And while I'm sure many trans mascs would agree Yamato may not be how they want to be seen by the world (though having Yamato ID as a man while having the biggest moobs is surely validating for a lot of people, including anybody who might not want or be able to get top surgery and/or HRT), again, he is only presented as heroic within the narrative and respected by the characters around him, Luffy especially, which is by far the most important part; the protagonist going out of his way to be respectful of trans characters does represent the values of the story.

And like.

Think about how Oda has treated Crocodile so far.

Like, although we're all having a bit of a laugh over the whole Cross Guild thing, Oda is still treating him as a cool character whom he presents seriously and treats with respect. Like Oda wants the readers to see Crocodile as at least a little bit cool. So I can't imagine him pulling a full 180 with how Croc would be treated in the story if he was revealed to be trans, especially when the potential foreshadowing for that was laid out in the story years ago already.

All this to say; Oda is not perfect at all, but considdering the things he has gotten right so far, I think there is hope he could pull it off. Because Oda is for Queer Liberation.

Really, my only concerns would be whether or not there's a risk Crocodile could get somehow detrans'd during the story (I'm praying the Haki theory isn't an option, really Doc Q might be the only true risk here), if he's stealth and that got presented as "a wrong thing to do" (which I'd hope not, like our previous queer characters have been okay with being openly queer but that may have been more for the readers than anything else. At least, I hope, god knows if Crocodile is and wants to be stealth trans then that's his right and he shouldn't have to out if he doesn't want to, and yeah, I don't want him to be demonized within the narrative for being stealth (if he's stealth, for all we know he could be out)) and like, most importantly, what'd end up being Crocodile's "motivation" for transitioning in the first place

Like. God. I just. I don't want there to be a twist where Crocodile transitioned because "being a woman was weak" or because he "wanted to be acknowledged by Whitebeard" ('cause WB doesn't take women into his crew) or "the scar in his face made him so ugly he decided he should be a man instead" (seen unironic Redditors suggest that. Almost lost my mind) or something

Like I hope someone's at least tried to explain gender dysphoria to Oda. Like the man does have actual queer friends in real life (some of whom inspired characters in OP), so I'm hoping at least someone's tried to explain the feelings that come with The Trans Experience™ to him so that, if Crocodile's trans, then Oda can actually try to base his reasoning to transition on those feelings instead of any stupid "reasons" that no actual queer person would relate to

But it all just boils down to... Is Oda willing to actually dwell into those feelings and explore them in the story.

It... it really could go either way with Oda

So yeah. Anon, I'm with you, I'd be lying if I didn't admit I was at least A Little Worried. But also... I want to be hopeful. Because I do believe there is reason to be hopeful.

Only time will tell how it'll go

#Moon posting #Asks #Sir Crocodile #OP Meta #OP Spoilers #Long post #CW Discussions of transphobia #For the record- cishets using ''crocomom'' for like fandom tagging purposes is fine #But outside of that. P e r i s h #Literally no need to misgender him.#(And obligatory disclaimer: yes if you're trans masc you get a pass on misgendering Crocodile. I'm @'ing the cishets not you)#(Also I'm not dead serious. It's just a pet peeve and god dammit I need to complain about it somewhere djkfghdskfgh)#While I'm at it with the tagging complaints please for the love of god tag your genderbends so people can blacklist and avoid them #Your Cross Guild Yuri is fun and fine but for some people having a trans man get presented as a woman in fanart #For no other reason than “girl pretty” pretty much #Can be just really emotionally draining and painful when the world so explicitly **does not want you to be trans**#Just. It'd be The Nice Thing To Do. You can draw your fem Croc just. Please tag it. For the love of god.#These tags are an absolute mess yeehaw

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birdshifts · 4 months

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Hi I just want to ramble and work out some thoughts/realizations I've had about my likely DR S/Os through tarot, reflecting, and memories

So I don't really script relationships per se. I script 'love interests' and that those I am attracted to or have feelings for return them. I am personally neither committed to polyamory or monogamy and in my DRs I take a 'polyamory is on the table but whatever is right for us' approach. I know who I am hoping to be with in my DRs but also maybe I meet them and they crack their knuckles and I hate their sense of humor or just see them as a friend.

I'm realizing that while my instincts on who I think I will be with has not been ... wrong entirely. But the assumptions I have made about those relationships have been.

My Marauders DR is multifandom and I've scripted characters from a lot of fandoms into it. I have been pretty sure for awhile that Eddie Munson in that DR will be the person I fall in love with, but I have also been realizing how little I knew. First, I figured since I scripted out poverty, systemic injustice, and the canon plot of Stranger Things, Eddie would be fairly well adjusted. And the last month or so I have been realizing NO. Eddie is working through a fucking lot and he hasn't been doing the self work at all until he meets me. He is going to hurt me and push me away. Not unforgivably, not cruelly I think. But I might have to eventually give him the space to figure things out for himself.

I have also realized that there were probably be a third person in our relationship and that that person is on a surprisingly similar journey from a very different background: Sirius. In my DR, Eddie is a nomaj-born from America, but he and Sirius are both working to unpack mirrored generational cycles that hurt their relationships with the people closest to them. They're almost foils to each other. I keep drawing the same card for the two of them, a version of the chariot showing two horses (with opposite colors) turned towards each other as they move together. Ironically, I think they may even get together before they get together with me after bonding over shared hatred over my ex (Frank Longbottom, who is lovely, has not and will never do anything wrong and is one of my very good friends in that DR).

In my journaling and tarot, I've realized this is going to be hard and it is going to challenge some unhealthy patterns I have in this reality too. I am a terrible partner here. I have disorganized attachment and I tend to be ready to bolt at the first sign of major feelings or disruption in the water. We are all going to have to work through things together. This is why I haven't decided to script things differently. I genuinely think I will grow and be better person here on the other side.

In contrast, my OUATxPokemon DR is a complete reversal. I've been pretty sure my S/O will be Killian Jones. In that DR, the only changes to his background I have made are that he hasn't killed innocent people, his father, or David's. He still has all his other experiences and he has still done some terrible things. He still is teamed up with Cora when I meet him. I figured this was the least likely relationship to be confident in, that it would be the most tumultuous of any of my planned DRs. I didn't even script whether he stays on our side after the beanstalk or not.

Oh my god, I was wrong. I was so wrong. In my own tarot readings, in the channeled readings of different people who don't know about the other readings, in the memories I have gotten. I don't think anyone has ever in any reality loved me so purely, so consistently. He decides he is all in so soon. He sees me - the good and the hard - and none of it scares him. He believes in fighting for what he wants and when he realizes he has to fight the darkest parts of himself ... he does. So readily. He knows I'm not weak or fragile, but he loves me so gently.

It's not that there's no hardships or struggles or barriers to work out. But coming together? Loving each other? Building something good and real and lasting? He makes that easy as breathing.

In two different channeled readings, he said of us meeting that I am his favorite inconvenience.

Anyways, there isn't a real point to this. But I'm realizing how wrong I was and how much (in so many other ways) both of these DRs are going to heal different parts of me here.

#dr: marauders #dr: ouatxpokemon

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hanji-is-life · 3 years

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I day dream often about a au I made, but haven't done much of it in a while...also I barely passed my essays with 2-3 so expect (VERY) mediocre writting 😖

Where devils, humans, and angels cohexist together. Devil's considered the lowest part of society and angels the top, leaving humans in the middle.

However in this story the roles of devil's and angels are quite reverse here.

Bakuguo Katsuki a angel that grew up in the bad part of his town in a mafia group, later on at the age of 15 he gets capture by the "Big bosses" (angels with higher power) they see his potential and ask him to join them so he could use how abilities in a legal way. Baku not having much choice accepts. Age 26 is becomes one of the Big bosses himself (He strong and rich as heck cuz why not).

My devil self insert. She was born in a very low economical enviroment her family that abused her because she was the weakest in the family. At the age of 10 she couldn't take the abuse anymore and decided to leave her home for good. She later is found by human priest and decides to take the lil devil as their own, learns about God and well..becomes a ''religious devil' (ironic isn't?). 12 years later que decides to move to the city and try to make a life for herself.

Bakuguo didn't believe in love. He always thought that being in love was just a waste of time, to try to depend on someone and be all corny and shit.

'Fucking stupid' He would always say...

He had a goal to accomplish for God's sake! He doesn't have time to go and waste it in some childish fairytale-

'Um...e-excuse me?'

Bakuguo doesn't believe in love...

'I-I really hope not to bother you..but..u-um'

Love is a waste of time..

'If its ok....can..can I..draw you?'

He doesn't need it. He has only one goal in mind..

'Is just that.....you're....really...pretty so..'

And is to get this lil cutie devil's number.

'.......fuck'

_______________

Im sorry if this is cringey, u may erase this if u want 😖😖😖😖

nooo this is so cute!!!! I have a soft spot for angel/demon stories and I love this one so much!!!!! have you ever considered turning it into a comic/manga? it really has the potential!!!! the storyline and world building is so well thought out like I really do love this!!!!!

#GOOD JOB #why do I personally feel so proud of you for this #omg #we love miracle cherry #my asks #hil daydreams!

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milazka · 4 years

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Fifty shades of Pankow — Rudy Pankow

image found on pinterest

summary: the one where you watch fifty shades of grey with your boyfrend.

request: yes

content: fluff & smut

author’s note: it’s not my favourite one, i was not really in the mood to write smut, but i wanted to post something today so here it is! i hope you all still like it even if it’s short. you can find my masterlist at the end of this post if you feel like reading more of my stuff!

warnings: most of my stories may contain mature themes such as swearing, underage drinking, substance abuse, sexual language and scenes, fights and more. also, i do not intend to be offensive towards anyone who reads this blog, if anything written can be perceived as hurtful to any community or person, i apologize, it was never my purpose while writing it.

word Count: 1305.

2020 was supposed to be your year. It was the year where your very first Netflix series was going to be released and the one you were supposed to move into a cozy apartment in Los Angeles with your boyfriend Rudy that you had met through the show. It was supposed to be a year to remember, but the global pandemic had turned everything upside down. Fortunately, you had made some wonderful friends on the set of Outer Banks so when the quarantine happened, you all decided to stay in your little apartments in the building where you all lived during the shooting of the show in Charleston. It was the best way to stay sane during this difficult time. So here you are, two weeks into quarantine, looking for a good movie on Netflix to watch with your lovely boyfriend.

“What about Fight Club?” he proposes, remembering that you once said in an interview that you had the biggest crush on Brad Pitt.

“Nah, I’ve seen it to many times.”

“Okay, hmm, what about The good dinosaur?”

“You want me to cry like a baby? If so, yes we can watch it, but bring me a lot of tissues,” he sighs and you chuckles when you see that he switch to the next movie on your list.

“You have Fifty shades freed on your list?” he says looking at you with wide eyes and raised brows. “And you already watched it?!”

“Yeah, I watched it with Maddie and Bailey,” you shrug. “Wanna watch it?”

“Hell yeah!” he wiggles his eyebrows and you laugh, lying your head back on his comfortable chest.

Rudy is lying on your bed, his back leaning against the headboard so you can settle in between his legs, your back pressed against his torso that rise and fall at a steady pace. Every time you listen to a movie together, he places you like this so he can hug you in his arms because God knows that man is a big fan of cuddles! His arms are embracing your waist covered by one of his band shirt and you can see, from the mirror in the corner of your room, that he has his eyes fixed on the screen when Anastasia takes off her bikini top.

“Hmm, if you had done that when we went to Portugal, I don't think I would have controlled myself and fucked you straight on the beach,” his fingertips brush your soft skin, covering it with goose bumps while he whispers to your ear with his raspy voice.

You can't help but blush when Christian takes Ana against the shower wall and Rudy's body stiffens beneath you, his hands now wandering under your sweater, drawing shapes on your bare stomach. Rudy being Rudy, he's not wearing a sweater and you can feel his warm skin against your back when he lifts your t-shirt up a little bit. He cups your breast with his big hands, pinching your nipples between his thumb and index until he makes them hard. His right hand slowly goes down to the hem of your black shorts, playing with it. Your breath hitch when you feel his hand sliding in your short and rest on top of your clothed heat.

“Want me to stop, baby?” he whispers to your ear, his warm breath crashing against your neck.

“God no, please… I need you,”

You can feel him smirk on your neck as he drops open mouth kisses on your burning skin. He starts teasing you with his fingers, rubbing them against your already damp panties. Rudy loves to tease you until you beg him to do something and you know that if you don't ask him to please your burning core with his fingers, he won't.

“Baby, I need your fingers now,” you beg him. “Your wish are my command, pretty girl,” he smirks, the sight of you imploring him turning him on in no time. He brings his fingers to your mouth and makes you suck them before finally sliding one finger between your dripping folds. A soft moan escape your mouth at the so desired contact and you drop your head on his shoulder, tilting it to the side so he can see your face while he pleases you. He presses his thumb against your clit, rubbing it in figure eight shapes. Electric jolts are sent through your body when he slips one of his finger inside you and you can’t manage to keep moans of his name inside your mouth. The feeling of your wetness glistening on his fingers and your inner thighs makes him grunts and he can feel his cock getting tight in his black boxer.

“You take my fingers so well,” Rudy praises you when he pushes a second finger into you, his thumb still working on your little ball of nerves. He increases his pace while sucking and biting the skin of your neck. A warm feeling builds up in your stomach and your breath hitch, making him apply more pressure on your clit.

“Are you gonna cum for me, pretty girl?” he asks, his fingers disappearing in you at a high pace. You only moan as a response and feel the wave of pleasure running your body from head to toe, your nails lightly scratching Rudy's thighs under the warm and overwhelming feeling. You haven't even come down from your high yet that he's grabbing you by the waist and makes you straddle his lap, on of his hand firmly pressed on the back of your neck. His lips take possession of yours in a fiery kiss and you steady yourself by grabbing his muscled shoulders. He keeps kissing you, his tongue slipping between your soft lips that taste like peaches. Rudy pins you down on the mattress and lays above you, grinding against your sensitive core. The feeling of his clothed cock hitting you still sensitive clit makes you whine. You can feel his hard bulge pressing against your warmth so you do not wait any longer and slip your hand inside his boxer. You give his cock a few strokes before he takes off his boxer and strip you out of your damped panties from your previous orgasm.

“Ready to take Rudy Jr, baby?” he asks you, lining his hard cock up with your entrance.

“Fuck yes,” you whine and he easily slides into your already stretch walls. Every moan that you let out against his lips make him trust deeper into you, hitting a sensitive spot that makes you see stars. He praises you among the moans, telling you how much he likes to see you taking his cock so well.

“I’m close,” he grunts, resting one of your leg on his shoulder. The change of position makes him reach your g-spot which switch your moans to little screams of his name that turn in him on even more. You dig your nails into his biceps as little waves of pleasure spread inside your body when he starts to rub your clit with two fingers. You reach your climax, seeing white for a few seconds and clenching hard around him as he releases his cum inside you, moaning your name.

Rudy lays down besides you, covering both of your body with a blue blanket. You wrap your arms around him, resting your head on his still fast-rising torso. He kisses the top of your head and intertwine your fingers. Sex with Rudy is amazing and so is the after sex. He always likes to hold you in his arms as you slowly drift to sleep, serotonin flowing trough your veins.

“I love you, pretty girl. You’re the best thing that happened to me this year,” you smile and kiss him tenderly. “Uno reverse card, lover boy.”

─── °• ❀ ───

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roselen-mylady · 4 years

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In Another Life

Bucky Barnes x reader ° part ten

Summary: Waiting 88 years to find your soulmate? It was cruel. But it was a cruel fate Bucky would have to face whether he accepted it or not. Bucky was a tortured man all his life and he wasn't even granted the solace of having his soulmate at his side. All he had was the promise of one in another life. They were separated by two different times.

But the pain in their lives were connected.

Y/n had been alone ever since she could remember. All she could depend on was the soulmate that was destined to be at her side. Yet when the snap occurred she lost him.

And Bucky never got to meet her.

Though Steve showed no signs of leaving or the anger Y/n had feared, she still felt the anxiety that came from revealing her true past. He was supportive, as he always was and so was everyone else once they were told. Tony only had a mere, 'I knew it' to add to the subject and while Y/n was touched, she couldn't help the array of things she felt.

Foolish was one of them. Hiding her past from them before was stupid but Steve insisted that her going underground was probably best since HYDRA would've searched for her. While that brought her some solace she was still uncomfortable with the idea of becoming more involved. Something always went wrong and Nat was proof.

She missed her friend badly and Y/n couldn't help but feel it was her own cursed luck that had taken Nat. It was ridiculous to think that she could ever be happy. Stupid to think she could help her friends bring back everyone. Stupid to think she might actually meet her soulmate.

"Hey, kid. We're going to put the stones together." Tony cut into Y/n's racing thoughts. Her gaze lifted from the drawing Steve had given her, settling on Tony as he leaned in through the doorway.

She didn't know why she was still looking at the picture or why she had even accepted it. She wanted to believe she was still furious, still resentful. Wanted to force all the pain and guilt she felt into him once more. But in all reality she was just so lost. For years she pretended to be someone else and now that she was free to be the girl she once was, she didn't even remember who that was.

A genius? A hero? A terrified little orphan? She had no idea but she didn't want to be any. She wanted to be Y/n, a friend and a psychiatrist. She now understood why Steve wanted her around. He needed someone to remind him of who he was, who he truly was.

Was James that person once?

Was that why she found herself gazing at the sketch, hoping for a split second that maybe she could go back to the moment that was drawn? Praying to go back to a time where James Barnes was fighting for his past and his own will. A time where he might comfort her like he did Steve over the death of Nat. A time where his thoughts were his own and so we're his actions.

Y/m almost hated herself for despising him. Though she knew there was still much to his story she was too scared to ask, she knew he was nothing more than a tortured soul with a gun. She couldn't figure out how the man in the drawing was the same man who'd nearly killed her.

It wasn't.

Noticing her broken expression, Tony hesitantly stepped into the room coming to sit with her. Her fingers gently held the page and he looked down at it, recognizing the face instantly. It sent a chill through his spine, seeing the same face almost ripped the arc reactor straight from his chest.

It had taken him years to forgive Steve but he still struggled to do the same with the man who murdered his parents in cold blood. All the hatred toward his parents' assassin had gone unresolved since Steve and Bucky left him at that frozen HYDRA base. And once forgiving Steve, Tony had no other outlet and he found it difficult to sit there with the picture.

So he tried to focus on something else.

"So, you and Ms. Romanoff were close?" He mumbled trying poorly to begin consoling her. She nodded numbly, folding the paper and setting it aside.

The emotions she felt were mixed and intense making it hard for her to filter through her feelings but one surfaced more than others. Guilt.

"Ever since the snap." She replied, her shoulders slack. Tony and Nat had their own relationship, one much older than her own but they'd been apart for so long. Ever since Nat went off the grid with Steve and even after the snap when he distanced himself from all of them, they hardly interacted. But they were friends. The type of friends that wouldn't be parted even by death.

"Do you think things would be different if I hadn't showed up?" Y/n asked him suddenly. He looked over at her studying her guilt ridden eyes that she kept trained on the floor. It was a familiar look, one he wore often. But not one he wanted her to.

"Natasha wasn't the type of person to let anyone dictate her choices. I think she was ready to give her life for a cause and none of us could've stopped her." Tony sighed, the weight of her death finally reaching its max. "Not even a couple of geniuses."

•••

"Let's hope this doesn't blow up." Tony mumbled next to her. The small group consisting of them with the addition of Bruce and Rocket stood in the lab, waiting in anticipation as Tony carefully placed the stones in the gauntlet. With his shaking hands it was difficult to be precise while he manipulated the machine but he managed to place all six stones in their respective places. They held their breath unsure if the stones would react or blow up the lab as Tony feared.

"Boom!" Rocket yelled suddenly making all of them flinch. He began to laugh loudly and they all turned to him with annoyed looks. Y/n slapped the back of his head, cutting his laughing short as she walked off trying to ignore the trembling in her legs. Tony muttered something under his breath moving to bring the gauntlet to a more accessible area for the wearer.

"You're an asshole." Y/n groaned. Tony walked past them, putting the gauntlet on a display table that made it hover a couple inches above.

"Come on, it was funny!" Rocket argued, earning an unamused stare from both Tony and Y/n.

It took a few minutes for Bruce to collect everyone but eventually everyone was gathered around the gauntlet. Most had expressions Y/n familiarized with PTSD and once following their gazes she realized their experience with the gauntlet Thanos wore was resurfacing.

Hopefully, with the new one they'd be able to reverse what he'd done. But the trauma would stay. That she knew.

"All right. The glove's ready. Question is, who's gonna snap their fucking fingers?" Rocket questioned, looking up at the group. Their options were limited since most people in the room were only human, even Steve.

"I'll do it." Thor volunteered without hesitation. He drunkenly stepped forward making everyone turn to him with confused and reluctant looks. Their choices were limited but they weren't desperate enough to put such a powerful object on a drunk god.

"Excuse me?" Scott asked, glancing around at the others for one of them to tell Thor what a bad idea it was.

"It's okay." Thor insisted, marching forward with a purpose. Steve moved to stop him with the help of Tony making the poor large man pause.

"No, no, no, whoa. Stop. Stop. Wait a sec. Hey, hey–" Everyone was a mess of refusal and Thor's face turned hurt as he tried to continue.

"Wait, wait, Thor, just wait. We haven't decided who's gonna put that on yet." Steve explained. Thor shifted on his feet, clearly upset with their rejection.

"I'm sorry. What, we're just sitting around waiting for the right opportunity?" He asked,

annoyed. Scott looked to Y/n hoping she might use some of her 'therapist powers' he called them after realizing she really couldn't read minds.

"We should at least discuss it." Y/n tried to reason. Thor shook his head stubbornly, swaying unsteadily on his feet.

"No, no, sitting here staring at that thing is not gonna bring everybody back. I'm the strongest Avenger, okay? So this responsibility falls upon me. It's my duty." He told them, gesturing to the gauntlet then himself.

"It's not about that–" Tony told him gently, coming to stand in front of him as he started to move Thor back. Thor resisted but was unsuccessful as he started to grow emotional. "Hey buddy-" Tony tried again only to be cut short by Thor frantically shushing him and everyone else.

"Stop it! Just let me! Just let me do it. Just let me do something good. Something right." Thor begged, tears filling his eyes. He was desperate to prove he was worthy, to prove he could still be the hero he once was.

"Look– It's not just the fact that that glove is channeling enough energy to light up a continent, I'm telling you, you're in no condition." Tony fought. There was no way they were going to let him hold the fate of the world in his hand while he was drunk. Even the Thor he was years ago shouldn't have held that kind of power, it was too risky.

"What do you– What do you think is coursing through my veins right now?" Thor asked, his eyes studying Tony's for any kind of hope that might tell him they would let him make the sacrifice.

"Cheez Whiz?" Rhodey scoffed, earning a glare from Y/n. Thor looked over at Rhodey pointing a shaky finger at him as he tried not to cry in frustration. He held onto Tony, grasping at his shoulders and prying Tony's attention away from Rhodey's comment.

"Lightning." Thor corrected, looking back to Tony with pleading eyes. Tony nodded but he knew he couldn't allow Thor to wear the gauntlet. "Lightning." Thor repeated, distraught but Tony's reaction.

"Lightning won't help you, pal. It's gotta be me." Bruce announced suddenly. Thor shook his head letting go of Tony. "You saw what those stones did to Thanos. It almost killed him. None of you could survive." Bruce explained.

"How do we know you will?" Steve questioned as Bruce paced over to the gauntlet.

"We don't. But the radiation's mostly gamma. It's like...I was made for this." Bruce mumbled. He gazed intensely at the stones, silently calculating his odds. If the Hulk couldn't handle this, was this really how he was going to die? And if so would it even work?

They looked at each other knowing it was their best chance at bringing them back. They had to take it.

Tony stepped forward, grabbing the gauntlet and handing it to Bruce as they headed to a more secure part of the lab.

"Are you sure you wanna do this?" Y/n asked Bruce quietly. She knew how Nat's death had affected him and she refused to make the same mistake with him.

"Yes. We have to finish this." He declared. Y/n watched as he paced forward to catch up with Tony as she lagged behind to Steve.

"Do you think this will work?" Steve questioned. Y/n chewed her lip anxiously, focusing her stare at the gauntlet as Steve came to stand beside her.

"Bruce's gamma radiation is stronger and most equipped to handle the energy but it's still dangerous. The stones are too powerful together, I didn't think they were ever really meant to be used together." She sighed, hating the sacrifices that came with saving the world. If they lost someone else just for this to not work was it really even worth trying?

"Bruce is strong." Steve tried to ease her worry but it wasn't enough.

"I know. I just-I can't keep losing people, Steve. It's like a curse. Every time I try to do something good…-"

"Hey, hey, it's okay. You're not gonna lose anyone else. Not on my watch." Steve promised but both of them knew it was practically empty. There was no guarantee. "Let's just bring everyone back."

Y/n tried to smile but like his promise it was hollow. "Yeah, okay."

"Good to go, yeah?" Tony questioned as Bruce carefully held the piece in his large hands. He seemed anxious but who wouldn't be in that situation.

"Let's do it." He confirmed as Y/n and Steve returned to the group. She walked around him, stopping beside Tony and sharing a steady nod.

"You remember–everyone Thanos snapped away five years ago, you're just bringing them back to now, today. Don't change anything from the last five years." Tony told him seriously.

"Got it." Bruce assured. Then suddenly the room grew quiet and a tenseness settled in the air that Y/n was too amazed to catch onto. For the first time she realized she was living the dream of millions of people. Everyone had readied themselves and Y/n watched as they stood there in their superhero uniforms, the power and determination they all had washing over her.

Tony pressed his chest allowing his suit to expand and morph to his body, a shield lighting up before him. His stare then drifted to Y/n who still stood there in her casual clothes, watching them all confused and out of place. Why were they getting ready now? They were doing this here?

"Hey, kiddo. Come on." Tony urged, motioning to her earpiece. She gave a soft 'oh' mimicking him as she pressed the button making her own suit appear. A shield of her own design came to her forearm and Tony eyed it curiously.

"Did you mess with the suit?" He asked, the seriousness in his tone startling her a bit. She shrugged, looking at him defensively.

"Yeah, you said it was just a prototype so I fixed it a bit." She explained. He looked away, grateful she couldn't see the entertained smirk on his lips as he turned back to Bruce.

"F.R.I.D.A.Y., do me a favor and activate Barn Door Protocol. Will you?" Tony called. Y/n had gotten used to the suit during the time she could spare to examine it and she put 70% power into the armor, figuring if something did go wrong it probably wouldn't hurt to be a little more protected.

"Yes, boss." F.R.I.D.A.Y replied. Metal doors began to close off the lab as the compound went into lockdown and if the seriousness of the situation hadn't set in yet it definitely did then as Y/n widened her stance to try and brace herself.

"Everybody comes home." Bruce reminded himself, cautiously reaching his hand into the gauntlet. The gauntlet expanded to fit his hand thanks to Tony's nanotech but as soon as it was fully on the power of the stones surged through him. He grunted in pain collapsing to his knees as the energy began to burn into his arm.

"Take it off! Take it off!" Thor cried, waving his hands as Bruce shakily held the gauntlet. Steve stepped forward, keeping anyone from acting.

"No, wait. Bruce, are you okay?" Steve questioned. He knew more than anyone that just because something was painful didn't mean they couldn't do it.

"Talk to me, Banner." Tony called, becoming more concerned with each unresponsive moment. Y/n started moving to help but froze as Bruce looked up at them.

"I'm okay. I'm okay." He insisted. They eased up a little and everyone watched carefully as he tried to regain control of the stones. Thor gave a double thumbs up, watching the scene before him with an astounded expression.

"F.R.I.D.A.Y what are his vitals?" Y/n questioned anxiously. Charts bloomed around Bruce and she quickly read them realizing his heart rate was dangerously high. In fact everything was high, his blood pressure, his respiration rate, even his body temperature had increased. Bruce screamed again, fighting the instinct to remove the gauntlet from the overwhelming pain it caused him as he lined up his fingers.

The world seemed to stop at the echoing of the snap, the fated sound she'd only heard about for five years finally filling her head the same way it had for the others.

He fainted and the gauntlet fell off his arm, clattering on the floor before Clint quickly kicked it away from him.

"Bruce!" Steve called, kneeling beside him as the others rushed forward to check on him. Y/n tugged the remains of his sleeve back gently as Tony kneeled beside her, holding up his hand.

"Don't move him." Tony demanded, applying a coolant spray from his fingertips over Bruce's arm. Bruce groaned, reaching out and grabbing Steve's arm urgently.

"Did it work?" He questioned breathlessly, keeping his large hand tight around Steve's arm. Thor gave him a reassuring smile while Y/n looked over the damage of his arm.

"We're not sure. It's okay." Thor soothed, his voice hopeful as he turned his gaze toward the door where the lab was starting to open up again. Scott walked off to the now open area and some of the others spread out to see what had happened but Y/n stayed at Bruce's side.

"You did great, Bruce." She told him, giving him a smile to which he returned, though it was a bit more pained. A muted vibrating came from the table on the other side of the room and Y/n turned to see Clint walking over to it almost numb.

Did it work?

"Honey? Honey." Clint spoke, his voice quivering in joy as Y/n looked at Tony. They shared a wide eyed glance, both rattled by the idea that they might have actually won.

Y/n wished to look at her wrist, praying that the countdown she had before the snap returned. She couldn't even remember how many days it had read back then but it didn't matter anymore. She just wanted to meet her soulmate. Would he be looking for her?

Were his eyes really blue?

But their victory couldn't last long and Y/n knew that as she followed Bruce's gaze to the skylight above them. There flying menacingly above the compound was the biggest spacecraft she had ever seen and dread instantly set in upon seeing the missile coming their way.

"Look out!" Y/n screamed, trying to warn the others but it was too late. Her helmet quickly came forward along with her shield which she tried desperately to put over Bruce's head, protecting her and him from falling debris. But the roof wasn't the only thing falling apart.

The floor split and some of the group fell into the large hole while Y/n struggled to regain her balance. She quickly looked around her, catching sight of Steve sliding across the floor toward the hole. Using the thrusters, she launched forward, grabbing hold of one of the straps to his uniform and dragging him back toward Tony.

The building was falling down around them and any means of escape were closing off faster than she could find them. Steve managed to climb to his feet again but before either of them could come up with a plan a large piece of the roof fell, striking Y/n down. She cried out falling through the floor to the room below, getting pinned on her stomach under the roofing.

"Y/n!" Steve yelled, peering down into the hole. Y/n gasped, the impact knocking the wind out of her. Tony looked down too, the two men struggling to keep themselves up as they waited anxiously for her to speak.

"Minimal damage to prototype armor." F.R.I.D.A.Y announced making Y/n groan. She slowly lifted herself up using her back to push off the rumble before leaning back on her knees, panting slightly.

"You call that minimal?" She questioned, annoyed. Tony chuckled through the headset, her reply giving him a little relief knowing she was alright.

"The suits can handle more than we can, kid." He explained. Y/n grumbled, climbing to her feet. She didn't care how durable the suit was, she was still very much human inside the metal and every hit the suit felt, she did too.

"Are you okay?" Steve called, leaning closer to the edge of the hole. Tony put a hand on his chest, keeping him from falling in while Y/n slowly climbed to her feet.

"Yeah. I'm fine, Steve." She waved her hand pretending to be nonchalant before coughing from how forcefully her lungs had been emptied. They were about to attempt to go down to her when the floor they were on shifted and Steve fell over, sliding off to another part in the lab.

"Cap!" Tony called, trying to reach out and catch him. Steve called back that he would be alright giving Tony a little assurance as he turned his gaze back to Y/n. "This building is falling apart!" He called down to her.

"What do you want me to do?" She asked, looking around at the floor around her. She had landed in the living room area, one of her favorite places but like the rest of the facility it was falling to ruin.

"Find the stones. We can't risk losing them." Tony instructed. Y/n let out a short sigh, the weight of the task making her stomach turn.

"Is it too late to go home?" She joked. Tony smiled softly unbeknownst to Y/n. The building shook again with another hit and he knew he wouldn't have long to talk to her.

"No." He answered truthfully. If she could find a way out, there would be nothing stopping her. She could easily fly away and forget about this. "But you know what they say. It only takes one fight to make a hero." Tony explained.

Y/n pierced her lips, knowing that she never really intended on leaving. She was all in from the moment Scott had been yelling into the camera and though she'd been doubtful before, she knew this was where she was meant to be.

"Go be Iron Star." Tony chuckled, making her scoff and shake her head. Of course, he had to ruin the moment.

"We really gotta talk about that name!" She called, turning away and running off toward the window to her left. Using the thrusters in the metallic boots she flew forward and smashed through the glass, unsteadily keeping herself in the air outside.

"Just find the stones."

•••

When Bucky had woken up he was right where he'd been in Wakanda. T'Challa ran to him trying very hastily to explain what had happened. They had been gone for five years according to the wizard man they called 'Strange' and now they needed to come fight Thanos again.

While Bucky was usually quick to understand and move on to the next fight, he couldn't help but stop at this news. He'd promised himself that the fight with Thanos was the last time so that he could find his soulmate but he was still fighting. When would it stop?

For a split second he feared maybe his chance at meeting his soulmate had come and gone and he frantically ripped back his right sleeve to look at his wrist.

"3 days?" Sam asked, peeking down at Bucky's arm as T'Challa organized his army. Bucky numbly nodded, his heart racing as he watched the seconds tick away. He was three days away from her.

He had to make it through this time.

No matter what.

•••

"F.R.I.D.A.Y, can you scan the compound for the stones' energy signature?" Y/n questioned, looking over the wreckage of what was once the Avengers compound. It didn't even look the same, all blown to the foundation with rubble spread around like a battlefield.

"I detect energy levels matching the stones underneath the building in the sewer systems. You should have access through what's left of the first floor." The A.I. answered. Y/n flew over to the nearest opening of the building, using micro lasers to burn a hole into the floor leading down into the sewers.

She jumped down into it, landing as quietly as possible before looking around. It was hard to see much, the only light being the blaring red light of the alarm system but the tunnel appeared empty other than the obvious debris and flooding. She cautiously walked forward watching as her display outlined the surrounding area.

It was eerily silent, the soft trickling of water putting her on edge as she continued down the tunnel, following the power signature of the stones.

"I detect hostiles approaching." F.R.I.D.A.Y spoke suddenly. Y/n watched carefully as her display changed, showing a clearer picture using an x-ray of the surroundings. The stones rapidly approached as did the hostiles and she quickly held up her hands, powering up the repulsors as Clint ran into her vision.

"Shoot 'em!" Clint screamed, narrowly dodging one of the creatures that lined the tunnel. Y/n did what he said, firing at the closest creature before moving onto the next, trying to hold them off long enough for Clint to run past her.

"What the hell are these things?!" She yelled, following after him as they both broke off into a sprint through the water.

"I don't know but I'm tired of this alien shit!" Clint shouted over his shoulder as Y/n glanced back at the creatures, firing again at one that got too close. Clint pulled out one of his arrows, throwing it into one of the pipes next to them before running faster.

Catching onto what he was doing, she picked up speed as well, jumping with him as the arrow exploded taking out most of the creatures. Y/n looked up from the ground, noticing that some of them had started to crawl through the flames making her climb to her feet, grabbing Clint under his arms.

She activated the thrusters and they launched up, faltering a bit since Y/n had barely learned to fly by herself let alone while carrying someone. Clint unsheathed his sword, yelling as he cut through some of the creatures that had climbed up beside them.

Once reaching the top Y/n dropped him to the side before falling herself, tumbling a few feet away. Clint climbed to his knees, holding out his sword as he let out a threatening shout. Thankfully, no other creatures appeared over the edge and he collapsed onto his back next to Y/n.

"Hey." Clint chuckled, nudging Y/n tiredly. "You're an Avenger now." He told her drawing a half-hearted laugh from her. She groaned the pain in her ribs increasing at the action and she put a hand over her side.

"Being an Avenger hurts."

•••

Once going through the portal the wizard had made, Bucky was met with a wasteland. Thanos and Steve watched as others arrived through the portals and while Steve's expression was much more relieved than Thanos', it was clear they were only evening the playing field as Bucky looked toward Thanos' forces.

The Wakandan armies chanted as hundreds of other heroes came through the portals, each ready for the final battle. He walked forward, coming to stand a few feet away from Steve as he studied the enemy across the way. He was determined to finish what they had started five years ago. He wanted to find his soulmate and he wanted this fight to truly be the last.

"Avengers!" Steve called. Bucky held his breath, hoping with everything he had that for all his misfortune over the years, today would end better.

He'd suffered for a lifetime.

Please let this be the last fight.

"Assemble."

Everyone yelled, running forward at Thanos' forces. The fight broke out and Bucky managed to find himself alongside the raccoon he'd encountered last time. They shared brief eye contact and Rocket's eyes flashed with recognition while Bucky tried to ignore him.

"How about now?!" Rocket yelled, motioning to his arm. Bucky glanced over at him, growing annoyed with the talking animal's persistence. What the hell would a raccoon do with his arm?

"No!" Bucky yelled back. He turned, noticing one of the creatures had been sneaking up on Steve while he had his back turned and Bucky quickly shot at it, knocking it down. Steve turned, giving Bucky a grateful and joyous smile. Bucky smiled back making sure to keep aware of the creatures around him.

"What the hell did you get me into, Steve?" Bucky yelled teasingly. His friend gave a short chuckle, using the large hammer to slam back another one of Thanos's creatures.

"Nothing two old men can't handle."

Taglist:

Part eleven

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