#god this is so fucking weird I’m so sorry

[luminiamore]

sugar daddy nanami kento x black hyperfem reader

warnings: brat tamer nami, super duper big arms actually, spoiled reader, he’s a bit mean, he’s such a man omg, public sex, squirting, creampie, you'll almost get caught, mirror sex

“Excuse me, Sir? Is this seat taken?”

A sweet voice interrupts Nanami’s focus on the book in his lap, The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath. The train's movements cause his body to sway slightly. He holds in a breath, really not in the mood to speak, but he's a gentleman. So, he looks up anyway.

He doesn't feel disappointed, actually the opposite. He's never seen anyone as beautiful as you. Your brown skin is smooth and clear, and your lips are glossed and full, with a slight pout. The makeup you put on was such a compliment to your face that it made you look like.. a doll. With eyes that made him seem like your salvation, you stared down at him.

Where did you come from?

“I’m sorry to bother you! It’s just- I’ve been trying to find a seat for a few minutes, and my feet are starting to really hurt. God, I should’ve never worn heels.”

You’re talking to him. He quickly comes to the realization that staring at your moving lips would make him appear creepy. Your voice was a little.. distracting. He clears his throat as he catches his lips quip up in amusement,

“It’s not taken. Please, sit.” You're walking towards the seat near the window, following his hips as they adjust to allow you to pass in front of him. Your clothes were... to say it bluntly, provocative. Your skirt was pink. He found that cute. But it was short, way too short to be worn out in public.

As you leaned down to prevent hitting the overhead storage area, his eyes caught the fat brown pussy lips poking out from the sides of your panties. Who the fuck let you go out like that?

You were wearing a strapless top that was also pink. The word 'BRAT,' which was printed in a bold white color, caught his attention. Hm, is that so?

You sit down, and now the blond man is hyper-fixating on your plush thighs pressing next to his. He’s interrupted by your sweet voice again, “Thank you, Sir. You’re too kind!”

He attempts to offer a smile, but he observes that your face is already buried in your phone, and your medium-length French tip nails echo a tapping sound. Well, now that won’t do. He wants your eyes on him again, your attention on him again. So he decides to speak,

“You headed somewhere important?” He acknowledges that this isn't the most ideal thing to ask a beautiful lady, especially during a train ride. His thoughts were running wild, and he was desperately trying to come up with something to say to you. He hopes you don't overthink it, but you look like the ditzy type.

You stop your typing and look up with your mind in thought, “Hmm, not really,” Your eyes turn to him and his cock twitches.

“I’m just going to meet up with some friends at the mall. The amount of walking I’m about to do is going to kill me but I can’t really do nothing since my car’s in the shop.”

“Yeah? Why’s that?”

Nanami observes that you have no filter or awareness that you may be talking too much. Either that, or you're so self-confident that you don't care. Regardless of what it is, he discovers that it is something he enjoys. He has the opportunity to ask more questions and hear your voice in his ears for just a moment longer.

You sit up straight, and now... Your body is facing him. And now he can see the nipple piercings that are pressing through your top. Nanami grits his teeth and forces his eyes to look at your wide ones.

Were you doing this on purpose? You have to be, but when he looks into your eyes, he finds no evidence of any alternate motives. That, or you were good at being coy.

“Well, somebody crashed into it when it was parked. And it was so bad, there was a weird creaking sound every time I drove! So now it’s in the shop, and it’s staying there.” You’re pouting again. And Nanami finds that he doesn’t like that hopeless look on your face. He has a burning desire to fix it, to alleviate any problems you're facing.

His voice grows soft and tender as he gazes into you, “It’s staying there?”

“I haven’t paid for the fix yet. So, the mechanic guy won’t give it t’me.” You shift in your seat. As you browse through your photos, he watches as you click on a picture of a pink Mercedes with its rear end completely broken. The color didn't catch him by surprise; in fact, he was more amused than anything.

“I see. Is there a reason you haven’t paid yet?”

Your brows furrow, and your head drops slightly as a sign of embarrassment. He thinks you're so cute. Nanami wonders if you have a job. You don’t look like the type to raise your perfectly manicured nails, and if you were his, he would never let you.

“Well... I’m in between jobs right now. My daddy won’t lend me any more money, and he told me yesterday, ‘You spend too much, and I can’t keep paying for your expensive shit.’”

Your bubbly, soft tone gets higher in pitch as you try to imitate your father's voice. You pivot and grasp Nanami's massive bicep through his blue dress shirt with your fingers. You notice a slight flush of your cheeks as you shift your eyes to where you grabbed it. He's so big that both your hands can barely wrap around the entirety of it.

Your eyes look up at him, “And y’know I get it! But ever since he got his new girlfriend, she’s been telling him these things. He never felt this way before!”

Your hand is covered by his, his veiny and large hand. You seemed really shaken up by this, and he can’t stand it. Someone as beautiful and perfect as you should not have to suffer like that. He wants to make your life easier; he wants you not to be bothered by such trivial matters.

As one hand raises your chin, his finger softly moves back and forth. His warmth makes the hairs on your skin prickle. “I’m very sorry about that, sweetheart. Would paying for your fix make you feel better? I can get a car to take you to your friends as well.”

You gasp and immediately shake your head, “Oh no, sir! I couldn’t ask you to do that. I-I mean, you’re a strang-”

“Kento, my name is Kento. And don’t be silly. I have more than enough to spend.”

“But-”

“No buts, sweetheart. I just met you, but I don’t like seeing a frown on that pretty face. Let me take care of your troubles the best I can.”

That day, you left the train with his number, and he left with your name. His generosity didn't end there. Kento started paying for a lot of your stuff, and eventually, he sent you money every day, making it such a habit that he just gave you one of his black cards. He would only ask for your company as compensation. There's nothing sexual about this, in fact.

Kento would go above and beyond to spend time with you, even leaving his job in the middle of the day to care for you. During your shopping sprees, he would hold your bags while you ramble about your week as you walked into another store. When you came to him crying about your dad's girlfriend not giving you a break, he decided to buy you your own apartment. It goes without saying that he pays for both your rent and all of your utilities. He would take you out for dinner and treat you to the finest high-end places because he knows that's what you deserve. The finest, and only the finest.

Nanami takes pride in the amount of self-control he has. Almost nothing gets under his skin.. but you. You and the short skirts you wear. You and your tight outfits. You and the way you bend down in front of him, exposing your pink lace panties. He tries to keep his eyes away, but he sometimes feels as if you're doing this on purpose. You must be.

And the truth is, you were. Nanami was the most attractive man you ever had the pleasure of seeing. Not only that, but his company has become something you've come to love. Ever since you met him on that crowded train, you've had lewd thoughts about him. Thoughts of him feigning a sex attack, thoughts of him bending you over and drilling his cock into you. You wanted him so badly, but he refused to do anything with you. It was making you crazy.

But you didn't know how to directly say that you want him to fuck your brains out. You opted for giving him hints, bending over in front of him, brushing against his thighs. Once, you managed to sit on his lap while he cooked you dinner at his home. He never moved, never did anything except keep his hands on your hips. That was enough to make you wet.

On a Tuesday afternoon at Japan's biggest mall, Nanami reached his limit. Your mini white heels were clacking on the tile floor as you entered the Victoria's Secret store, looking for the newest Valentine's Day set. This isn't his first time going shopping with you for lingerie, so he's not bothered in the slightest. Picking up the set and asking him to judge how it looks on you is what surprises him. You've never done that before.

“Please Nami, I have a date tomorrow and I’m hoping I can show him!”

A date? What the fuck do you have a date for?

The situation confuses Nanami. Antsy. Annoyed. He has a sense of jealousy. He can tell. You were his. Only his. You don't need a sluggish, limp-dick man who probably couldn't find your g-spot spot. You needed a man. You needed him. What advantage does your date have over him? What can your date do that he doesn't currently do for you? Are you insane?

He is unaware that you don't actually have a date. You were lying and trying to get him to react once more. You are the epitome of a brat. Kento doesn’t like brats. He breaks them.

You flick your pretty eyelashes at the 6'4 man who stares down at you with an unamused expression on his face. You’re pouting again, and Nanami really hates that he says yes to you. When you look at him like that, he can't say no. It's so hard to say no, but he's tired. Tired of the way you rile him up, he's sure that you're just hoping for a reaction from him. He has to put an end to this.

“..Lead the way, sweetheart.”

You're too occupied with other sets to notice that his voice becomes deeper when he speaks.

Nanami doesn't go into the dressing room with you. He planned to wait on the small, bright pink benches outside. Your angelic voice called out to him to help you with the zipper on a corset, ruining his plan. He loves helping you. It actually makes his day when he makes yours easier in any way. So, he agrees.

His breath hitsched when he pulls back the curtain. Oh fuck. You were... In red panties, the stockings lie softly on your thighs. While staring in the mirror, your brown skin is visible to him, and the corset is loosely hanging off your shoulders. You are a sight to behold—a sight of beauty, delight, and sweetness.

He creeps up on you slowly as though he doesn't want to frighten you. The moment he pulls both ends of the top together, you release a cute gasp. The zipper's faint sound as it rises makes you shiver when his hands brush against you. Once he's finished, his hands rest on your waist, your warmth radiating onto him. His voice, grave and breathless, causes you to catch your breath when he speaks,

“This is what y’re wearing? For your.. date?”

You hum and turn your body side to side to look at how the set fits on you.

“Uhuh! Y’think he’ll like it?” He tilts his head and observes your ass moving slightly with every move you make.

“Hm. What reaction do you suppose you’ll get out him?”

His fingertips can be felt on the panty line as he plays with it and pulls the band. You leap when it snaps itself back to your skin. His other hand is reaching in front of you and grazing your pussy

“Something like this?” The lace that clings to your pussy is grasped by his big hand, and you let out a pathetic whimper at the sight of it. You’re dripping. It wasn't your stupid date that caused this, it was all because of him. You succumb to his grip, and, of course, he steadies you.

“K-Ken?” Your voice squeaks out.

He pays no attention to you and only looks at the slick on his fingers when he moves away from your cunt. You're seeing all this through the mirror, watching his every move. Despite having dreamed about this moment every night, you still feel a little nervous. His expression in the mirror seems... upset.

“Y’know, sweetheart, I am tired.” His hands slowly take the panties off of you, allowing them to fall to your heels on the floor.

“Tired of how you tease me.”

He spreads your folds out from under you, letting the moisture drip all over his palm as he slides up and down. He groans when you emit the most adorable moan right next to his ear. God, you were so precious. He wanted you all to himself.

He scoffs, “A date. The hell do you need a date for? Y’need someone to fuck you, is that it? Someone to teach you some manners?” He slid his two thick fingers into your wet mound, scolding you when you let out a dirty mewl.

“Quiet sweetheart, bad girls don’t get to make a sound.”

He pushes them in deeper, immediately finding your spongy, and presses into it repeatedly. You tremble in his arms, pressing your hands to muffle your moans.

He murmurs to you, battling against the squelching noise your pussy is making. Your knees are buckling, but there's another hand pressing on your stomach to keep you upright and amplify the pressure you're feeling in your stomach. “I treat you so good. I buy you whatever you want, I make sure you’re always eating good. And yet you still insist on being a brat.”

He seethes in your ear, watching your pretty eyes roll back in the mirror. Kento feels that your loudness is causing you to forget you're in public. At this point, he doesn't care much. Throughout all of this, Kento is pulling down his zipper, freeing his hard dick from his boxers.

“It’s okay, baby, I’m gonna fuck you. Gonna fuck you so hard you forget all about that stupid date.” He stops finger-fucking you and leaves your sopping cunt suddenly, causing you to whimper at the loss.

Without warning, he plunges his fat cock deep into you and immediately presses his hand on your mouth to stop you from screaming. Your body falls back against him, leaving you drooling against his palm. It was too much, but you loved it. Had you known it would result in this, you would have done this a long time ago. Your body felt stuffed as he sucked his length in and out of you, observing how your pussy creams every time it disappeared inside.

Kento thinks you're perfect. Every aspect of your being is perfect. The way you squeezed around him almost made him forget that this was your punishment. Shit, you felt so good that he doesn't even want to carry on with the punishment anymore.

“There you go, sweetheart. Shh, just take it.”

You whine against his palm, your eyes barely open as this man is practically splitting you in half. You were both pouring your juices onto the floor, creating a small puddle below you. “Fuck. Such a messy girl.”

Your haze and pleasure make it impossible for you to hear footsteps coming near you and Kento. But he did, and he figures... It's a good idea to torment you a bit. So he speeds up his pace, letting the music drown out the light papping sound his thrusts and balls are making on your clit. If it's even possible.

“Miss? Is everything alright? D’you need any help?”

Your surprise is evident when your mind recognizes the voice of one of the employees. Fuck. No.

Nanami whispers into your ear, low enough for only you to hear, “Better answer her, sweet girl. Wouldn’t want her to suspect anything, hm?”

He’s so mean. Speaking is not an option when he's drilling into you like a madman. Fuck, could the poor lady even hear the noise? You're shaking, and you really can't help the yelp you let out every time his cock gets buried so deep inside of you. You rapidly nod against his hand, desperately attempting to do anything for him to keep fucking you like this. His hand slowly descends from your lips and grasps your covered tits in the corset, never once halting his pace inside you.

“Miss?” She speaks again, and you answer quickly so she can leave,

“I-I’m okay! Still- Ah! t-trying the s-set on.”

Nanami thinks you’re so cute as you try to keep your voice steady, chuckling to himself when you moan out in between your words. He thinks it's unfortunate when you're forced to speak again due to the lady's persistent pestering.

“..Are you sure? You don’t sound-”

“Yes! E-Everything’s f-fine, I’ll be r-right out!” You cut her off, your mind still reeling from the strong blows that Nanami never ceases to give you.

You faintly hear her muttering an 'Okay' before her heels recede into the crowded store. In all honesty, you believe you're starting to hear colors now. He was fucking you so good, and when you feel that familiar fire pit burning in your lower abdomen, you know what's coming. Or, in this case, who’s coming. You.

Nanami knows it, too, because your cunt just squeezed twice as hard on him. It’s practically pulsing open and close. You’re trying to fucking milk him.

“Good job, sweetheart. Y’gonna be my good girl from now on?” His hand doesn't even bother to cover your mouth anymore. Instead, his fingers reach down to your pulsating clit and start rubbing in tight circles. You forcefully bite your lip to prevent screaming out, savoring the metallic taste of blood on your tongue.

Nanami knows that if you let go of your lips right now, you're going to attract attention. He doesn't want that type of distraction at the moment, so he's not too upset about your quick nod as a response. He doesn't even think you know what he's saying, too drunk from the sensation of his cock to think about anything else other than that. Even so, you're saying yes. You, indeed, are perfect.

“Think you deserve to cum? I think you do, you were so good earlier talking to that lady. So cum, sweetheart. Make a mess f’me, yeah?”

That you definitely heard. It seems your pussy did, too, because she doesn't hesitate to squirt all over the floor. The mirror was being sprayed with your overflowing juices. Throughout it all, he was intensely watching you through the mirror, observing the face you make when you cum. It was so beautiful. The way your brows scrunch, and your eyes roll back, almost into your skull. The sight was enough for him to conceal his groans in your silk press, cumming so deeply inside of you that you thought it reached your womb.

Heavy breathing was all that could be heard under the faint music buzzing through the speakers. As Nanami slips out of you, you let out a whimper and gaze into the now-wet mirror, watching as he crouches down to where both he and your fluids are dripping out of you. You hear him mutter a curse under his breath, shivering when he runs his finger through your slightly gaping cum stuffed hole.

He lifts his finger, slipping it into his mouth to taste the aftermath of your.. lovemaking. He can detect some of your juices and his own. He only utters one word when he releases his finger with a pop,

“Sweet.”

He rises, gathers your clothes, and pockets the panties you wore when you initially came into the store. He believes that letting you confront people with his cum dripping down your thighs is an appropriate punishment. He pauses when he recalls something, “That date of yours tomorrow? Cancel it.”

Oh right! You didn't let him know that there wasn't a date.

“Kento?”

“Yes, sweetheart?”

“…I lied about having a date.”

Nanami freezes. His hands hold your skirt by your knees, and his eyes immediately catch yours in the mirror. He chuckles and shakes his head in astonishment when he realizes that this was your plan all along.

Despite not saying much, he whispers in a raspy voice,

“Brat.”

@hatake05 @thickbihhwitdagapp

#lumiwrites #nanami kento smut #kento nanami #kento smut #nanami kento #kento nanami x black reader smut #kento x reader #jjk fanfic #jjk smut #nanami x reader #nanami smut #jjk nanami #jjk x black reader #fanfic

[softspiderling]

Rafe [11/30/23: 1:43 am]: couldn’t sleep. remember when we took out the boat at two am bc we both drank a red bull at ten?

Rafe [11/30/23: 11:22 am]: sorry, i was drinking. didn’t mean to text you. hope you’re doing good

Rafe [12/25/23: 2:44 pm]: merry christmas. it’s weird without you.

Rafe [01/01/24: 01:02 am]: happy new year’s.

Rafe [01/05/23: 9:56 pm]: are you really not gonna text me back?

Rafe [01/27/24: 3:07 am]: i miss you

Rafe [02/12/24: 12:05 pm]: saw you at the party last night. you looked so fucking pretty. took everything in me not to talk to you.

Rafe [03/01/24: 7:12 pm]: idk if you care or not, but i still wanted to let you know. i’m seeing someone

────────────

so obsessed with your ex sequel god, it's brutal out here out this saturday!

#rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron #rafe x reader #rafe cameron fanfiction #rafe cameron fanfic #rafe cameron fic #rafe x you #rafe cameron x you #rafe cameron imagine #drew starkey #outer banks #obx

[snail-squasher]

High school Reunion

‘your head in your hands, youre nothing more than his wife’ - chappell roan

word ct. - 5571

warnings - fem!reader, cheating!!!, bathroom make-out gets heated, angst to fluff

“What do you mean you're ‘leaving’?” The wobble in her voice says it all. “Why?” The look on your face tells er everything she needs to know, “you know how my family is, Sho.” You reach for her left hand before she rips it away from you. “No. No. You don’t get to just say that I ‘know how it is’ because I don’t; okay? I don’t understand what is stopping you for sticking up for yourself! I left… everything behind for you, and you're leaving?” You messed it up. you knew this wasn't going to go how you wanted, you knew you should've said something to your parents, you knew and knew and knew. Why is it so easy to know something but not do something?

“Sho, I’m sorry okay? I can’t just have them cut me off, I’m not going to have a career like you and you know that,” obvious confusion washes over Ieiri’s face, “Then let me take care of you; that was the plan from the beginning!” Tear stains splotching onto her (your) t-shirt. “They already have a guy set up for me.”

The small laugh was the only response Ieiri could muster, “You have to be fucking joking. Tell me this is a sick fucking joke,” the pacing starts, then the cussing, and next thing you know all you hear is, “Fuck you and you're stupid shirt,” now discarded into your lap, “Sho wait-” “No. Don’t.” She puts on her own clothes and leaves. “I can’t fucking believe you.” 

The next few days felt unreal. You hadn’t heard from Shoko (obviously) and Gojo and Geto couldn’t even look at you normally. The goodbyes you uttered were to no one. You packed and left; a few days later meeting your suitor.

Meeting all of your old classmates feels wrong. You feel like you shouldn’t be here; you left after all - everyone avoiding eye contact solidifies it. You can see her - more like hear, since you’re too scared to actually look her way. 

“Is that the one and only!” Gojo. Satoru Gojo. The most annoying guy you knew in high school; given you only knew about 7. “I haven’t seen you since graduation. Well this is awkward, the laugh you let out proves it, “Yep it is. Didn’t expect you to actually show up, you never used to at least.”

“What can I say I’m a changed man,” this was worse than making eye contact across the room with her.

“So how’s it been? You still with what’s his face?” Why did he bring him up, this is so embarrassing, “Yeah, a little over 3 years now,” it must be the tight lip smile that gave it away. Satoru leans in, “Listen. I know, and I know that you know that I know. And I also know that she is single and probably will be until you do something.” Oh god. Your boyfriend is at the bar across the room grabbing you a drink and this is what he wants to talk about? 

“I know it’s just… I saw a ring in a drawer,” you say quietly. “I can’t just leave knowing that,” the desperation in your voice has never been this bad. “Well… that does… complicate things… but! Shoko was obviously waiting to see you again! You know, she stopped smoking months before this - and i think it’s to impress you, but you didn’t here me say that.” He says with a wink leaning back away from you. “Welp! I’ll be going now, I’ll make sure to Shoko a little hint for you, it was nice seeing you again though!” 

You leave a small smile in his direction zoning out before a arm around the back of your chair startles you, “Oh! Sorry I was zoned out,” you say looking at your boyfriend, he chuckles a little, “No problem, weird how you were zoned out looking at him though.” He’s starting again. He does this every time a guy is around - he probably forgot this was arranged in the 1st place. “Please don’t start that right now,” he shrugs and leans into his own chair more, “Just odd how you zone out a lot when another guys is around but no other time,” you glance in Shoko’s direction and everything stops. She holds eye contact like no one else. She licks her lips like no one else. She is unlike anyone else. 

Without breaking eye contact she turns towards the group of friends before saying something, “I’m gonna go to the bathroom.” That’s it. That’s all it takes. Shifting towards the guy on your right you parrot her before speed walking to the bathroom. 

“Hey, didn’t expect you to be he-” she’s cut off. The force of your body makes her stumble back into a stall. She doesn't break the kiss. She deepens it. Turning her head to the side, you follow her lead; you always seemed to follow. 

“God I missed you,” she mumbles into your lips before gliding her hands down, “Touch me Sho, please?” God. What are you doing? What are you saying? Does this count as cheating? Even if you don’t want to be with your boyfriend? 

Before you can continue to question everything, Ieiri slides a hand between your legs, making you pull her head closer to you, if anyone walked in they'd know exactly what’s happening. The heavy breathing, the noises, the slightly wet sounds echoing between the walls, and the taste of cigarettes- wait. 

“I thought you quit smoking,” you pull away confused, “You're kissing someone else while the man who has a ring in his pocket for you is waiting, and you're worried about me smoking?” While you want to be upset at the harsh words Shoko used, it’s true. You’ve been dating the same guy for over 3 years and yet the only worry you have right now is the lungs in front of you. 

“You could put it a little nicer, how do you know that anyways?” you whisper, “Gojo told me, also why should I be nice to you? You disappeared after graduation and then show up to the reunion with a boyfriend.” Why’d she have to bring this up right now? You two were just having a heated make-out and now something else was getting heated. “I’m stupid, I know! I’ve been planning on breaking it off anyways, but I just feel so bad knowing that he’s gonna propose.” 

Everything would be so much simpler if you didn’t snoop around your shared apartment trying to find a shirt to sleep in; instead you found a velvet box with a handwritten speech. 

“Do you wanna be one of those anonymous users talking about how you regret marrying your husband? Or do you want to be free? You have to decide, and when you do, the left side of my bed is always a little chilly,” that stupid fucking smirk. The same smirk you used to see after sneaking off to ‘go to the bathroom’ in high school. Why’d you ever leave?

“Can we just finish what we started in here and then go? I’ll figure out some plan to break it off, I promise.” The next thing you hear is a sigh and then a small ‘fine’ before you tasted cigarettes again. 

The small knock at the door gets increasingly more aggressive when Ieiri ignores it. “Sho, please,” it was faint but there. The spot on the couch immediately abandoned, her front door almost flies off the hinges when she opens it. 

“So you did it finally?” you nod, with water eyes and shaky hands, “Is the left side of your bed still cold?” Shoko giggles a little, “Cold is an understatement. Wanna help me warm it up?”

SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG!! I HOPE YOU LIKE IT!!!

this is the longest fic i've ever written. save me.

#shoko ieiri #jjk fanfic #shoko ieiri x reader #shoko x reader #jjk angst #jjk smut #jjk x reader #jjk fluff #jjk au #jujutsu kaisen #ieri shoko #jjk shoko #jujutsu kaisen shoko #geto #gojo #satoru #suguru #angst #light smut #fluff #shoko fluff #shoko smut

[what-even-is-thiss]

Hi roman. I know this is very weird, but i've seen you give some life advice to other people, so i thought i could give it a try too. Don't answer if you don't want to. Anyway

Do you have any advice/tips for a 15 y/o who thinks they just have no control over their life? Like, my concentration is dog shit, i think my grades are slipping. My executive dysfunction so bad and i think i'm disappointing a lot of people. I have no idea how to handle anything in my life. I can't force myself to do the things i need to (not that that'd be any good, i'll immediately cry lol). I just, don't fucking know how i could make things better for myself. And i can't really talk to adults about it, they'll repeat the stuff i already know, and i am the worst person to put their feelings into words, so they'll prob never understand. Not in the edgy way.

Yeah so sorry for half venting into your ask box. Thank you in advance if you'll answer it, if it's too weird and you don't want to do that for whatever reason, that's ok. Peace and love <3

Dude, you’re unfortunately suffering from being 15. And possibly a learning disorder. Godspeed to you.

And I don’t say that to belittle your problems. In many ways as a teenager you don’t have control over a lot of things. You’re still under the control of your parents, you’re still learning how to deal with adult level emotions and ideas. A lot is expected of you and a lot of things are made to seem more important than they are. It’s hard to tell what’s actually important and what’s just adults blowing things out of proportion. It sucks and it’s frustrating!

If you can, you might want to talk to a counselor. If your parents or guardians are anti-counseling you might try to talk to someone at your school like a teacher or administrator or school nurse about the possibility of getting counseling without your parents knowing. Some schools have programs like that.

The adults closest to you might not understand but if you keep looking you’ll eventually find someone who remembers what it’s like to be in your shoes.

And I remember fully feeling like I’d never get control over anything. The end goal of life was graduation from high school and god only knows if I keep existing after that. But the thing is, you do! You keep existing and you figure a lot of stuff out. Wisdom does come with time, it turns out. And legally and practically you end up getting a lot more autonomy as time goes on.

And I know hearing things like this might not feel comforting. When you’re stuck, you’re stuck and no matter how much you logically know it’ll get better right now it sucks.

Just find ways to keep going. And try asking for help sometimes. If your family won’t listen, find someone who will. Take the time to write down your problems and how you feel if you can’t come up with explanations of what’s going on. Or find a friend to talk it out with so you can practice explaining yourself.

If there’s one thing I can promise you, when you’re a couple years into adulthood all of the problems from your teenage years start to feel small. At the time they were big and important though. And that’s what you’re going through right now. And a lot of adults forget about that. Hang in there, and when all of this is behind you, remember how hard it was and maybe someday you can help someone like you.

I’m sorry if all that wasn’t helpful. I don’t know too much about your individual situation. But ask for help when you can. Someone out there understands. You’ll find them.

[samglyph]

I truly believe Will Wood is an incredible musician and songwriter and is one of the top lyricists in the last decade both in and outside of the genres that he chooses to play in with absolutely zero irony. I also believe that you can only fully understand that if you’ve either had a pet die before listening to his music or you have a history of drug abuse and mental health crises. Or you’re trans.

#this may sound like a snooty post where I’m just upholding my own favorite music as the best #but honestly it’s in response to a lot of fans I’ve seen be really self critical? #like yeah haha I listen to bad music #and I also have been known to joke about my own weird taste #but here’s the thing! from a technical level! his music! goes hard! it is experimental and that is GOOD #and lyrically listen I listen to a lot of music #I’m even familiar with top forty stuff and while yes the content of his songs is very niche #the lyricism is so genuinely clever and playful and ugh god #ok anyway. sorry #listened to Will wood again #and also this post is about the fact that I first I didn’t get it. #and then I went to a really low point. and suddenly I got it #ok it cracked me open like a fucking egg #music #text #personal #kinda

[ode-to-fury]

Friendship Astarion is so important to me. Like I know everyone is horny for the sassy elf but like… what if he learned to care for someone without sex? What if he tried to manipulate Tav into bed and they told him no? And then… kept being nice to him? Kept taking care of him and expecting the same in return? What if he doesn’t have to fall in love to realise he wants to live a life where he cares about things and makes his own decisions? What if he tells them about how he used his body anyway? What if they tell him he never has to again? What if they hug him and expect nothing back? What if they put their head on his shoulder and nothing else? What if, for the first time in 200 years, he felt safe enough to joke and laugh and not put on a show because it’s obvious they don’t feel that sort of attraction to him anyway? What if he just had a best friend?

#i’m sorry but I’m so soft for friendship soulmates #because friendship is weird in the sense that the only thing youre getting is companionship #nothing else #you just keep choosing each other over and over and I think that would be such a novel concept for hi #and he’d fuck up and learn consequences cause tav isnt a lovesick puppy and friends can get angry with each other #because there’s not that other aspect of romance thats involved #god i just- friendship astarion #and they’d be so annoyingg cause my tav is a chaos gremlin too and just as tired and jaded #astarion #bg3 #baldur’s gate 3

[dragonsdendoodles]

SO GANG HOW WE FEELING ABOUT THIS ONE

#i for one am EXCITED #literally screaming #it comes out a week after classes start and i will be ditching to read this sorry college i have a new book #putting this in the miss peregrine tag so people see it but i’m gonna tag the actual book from now on #what are we tagging for this? sunderverse? title? acronym since title is long? #all three today i guess #i should really start on horace’s video #mphfpc #the extraordinary disappointments of leopold berry #tedolb #sunderworld #that’s a weird ass acronym ngl #Instagram #how did i mess up the fucking series title my god

[psqqa]

if they wanted me to edit these research guides in a timely manner they should have written them better

#is there a way to ignore all the awkward phrasing and shit and just focus on content? #probably??? #but not if you’re me #not when content and writing become intertwined by the bad writing making the content more confusing #what are all these sentences doing in these paragraphs??? #that weird kind of vacuous where they exist solely to introduce the next sentence #except the next sentence isn’t related to the point of the paragraph! #so you’ve got [information] [wait what does this mean] [wait what does this have to do with anything??] #rinse repeat #god i just tried to emulate the writing and i just fucking can’t #this is why i never get any writing done #i can’t just string words together in an approximation of meaning and call it a day #like i’m sorry my brain sees ‘if you drink water you should also eat food. for the nourishment’ and goes #‘yeah sure i guess? what are we getting at here and can we just get at it directly?’ #it is actively more difficult to try and ignore that shit than have my editing brain on

[baconcolacan]

I really wish the binary genders weren’t socialized so differently sometimes. It’s so easy to cuddle up with my girl friends and even say I love you to them, but not with my guy friends….it makes me kinda sad

#neil talky #being pinoy its still possible to do this bc of our culture #but its still not to the extent I’d like it to be #Its really hard sometimes to show my bros I care without being labelled as ‘too gay’ #like yeah sure they know I’m gay but also fuck outta here??? #You’re my FRIEND I can love you??? Doesn’t mean I want to date you good god #Sorry I’m just kinda frustrated like #I was there when you cried and told me about how much it hurt #but I cant even hold you and tell you I love you without making it weird #SIGH I’ll probably compartmentalize this later #Also probably why I project such a close male friendship with the ew gang lol #so close they can kiss and hug and shit #LETS GOOOOO

[thatfaerieprincess]

Feel free to skip on past this, I’ve just gotta ramble for a minute bc i cant stop thinking about this kid from work last week. They were so much like me at that age (5-6th grade) that I didn’t know how to interact with them? I didn’t know what to say to them bc I don’t know what I needed to hear back then, what I would’ve WANTED to hear? What would I have even listened to? They were almost entirely silent and looked out at the world with a hesitant curiosity, but would pull back so fast as soon as you tried to interact w them. Little to no eye contact, face hidden in hair, always looking down, following others until they could strike off on their own and just quietly explore. Intently focusing on drawing any chance they got. We did an art project and they hunched over their piece the entire time and wouldn’t let any of us see it in progress, refusing to look up or acknowledge us if we asked to see it or to know what it was. Idk. I barely interacted w them while they were with us for those few days bc I didn’t know how? It almost hurt to try? It was like looking back into a time machine and i didn’t know how to tell them that it does get better,,, I still don’t even know if where I am is better, some days feel so unsure that I don’t think I’ve made any progress at all. But seeing that kid, idk. I’ve come pretty far. And it DOES get better. Maybe it’s not the best now, or even that great at all, but it’s better. I wish I could’ve told them but I don’t think they’d have wanted to hear it anyway

#im a rambling sam #I’m in a weird place again since getting here for this season of work #idk maybe I’ve been in a weird place all year probably #I don’t think I’m that far from where I was at that age but I know I am there’s just still so much further to go #one day I think it’ll feel easier but maybe not today #I do love working w kids but I’m considering going into horticulture instead of outdoor education bc I don’t know if I can handle this #I can #but god I don’t know #in my heart I’m still that exact kid and she’s still in there so damn anxious and unsure and needing to observe the world and everyone in it #just to get some sense of understanding of just what the fuck is going on around here #but by the time I’ve gotten a good handle on what is going on everything is already so set in place and my place is outside the system and I #I don’t know how to step into it #sorry sorry I’m still rambling I’m having a weird day I probably just haven’t eaten nearly enough in the last few days and I’m about to #start teaching on my own this week which is terrifying and I can’t stop thinking abt that damn kid I wish they stayed longer I think #we probably would’ve gotten along #but groups only come here for a couple days and then go home which is v weird after having the same kids for 3 weeks for summer camp #idk life gets better and it gets worse and sometimes u grow into the world a little more but there’s still a mute child in your ribcage #little hands pressed up against ur ribs like laying a palm against a bus window #I put my hand over my sternum as if we could press our hands together thru time #when I was that age I used to pretend to have someone around me like an imaginary friend but usually it was a book character that I liked #and I’d talk to myself in my head like having a conversation and giving myself motivation and assurances from someone else to me #and now I’m here and I still talk to myself like that but without the imagined friend as a buffer I just talk to myself in my head #now I’m the imaginary friend for the little Sam that lives in my chest #when I talk to myself I’m talking to her #I’m giving her the assurance she needed back then #the assurance I still need now #I am here for her so I am here for myself #this is getting poetically nonsensical maybe it’s time for bed

[what-the-fuck-khr]

whoever put that fuckass artwork of a scary motherfucker face thing whatever without warning I’m going to kill you. I’m going to rip you to fucking pieces

#DONT DO THIS TO ME!!! THE FUCK #think like. idk how to explain this #think like. the weird body horror of like. the real life tsuyu photo that was popular #(and also activated my fight or flight. shocker) #but mash that with like. flat cartoon-y slender man art style #like flat white face. BIG SCARY EXPRESSION THE SMILE THE EYES THE FUCUFKVKCJDJD #anyway yeah please fucking don’t my god #idc about Halloween sorry!!!!! horror is scary I avoid it because it’s scary!!!!!! #‘but it’s nearly Halloween of course people are gonna share- #how about you tag your shit or kill yourself idk sorry #LIKE AT LEAST HAVE THE DECENCY TO FUCKING TAG THE ART IN SOME WAY SO PEOPLE CAN BLACKLIST IT THE FUCK????? #ooc #I wanna scroll up and see who the fuck reblogged it #see who the fuck drew #but that means seeing the face again so I’m gonna have to suffer either way

[starlooove]

If ur blaming bad writers for why you only read WFA and fanfic…boy have I got some news for you!

#girl just say u wanna read fun shit like don��t pretend it’s genuinely that #Like if I said I don’t read fanfic I only read comics bc of bad ooc writing… #c’mon yall #and the bad writing in question is Bruce being mediocre at parenting the JL being competent and not kissing the bats asses and tim actually #having a personality that’s not easily palatable insecurities and ‘flaws’ that the masses can relate to without feeling bad about themselves #cause It’s easy for y’all to say ur overworked or do too much #It’s not easy for y’all to say ur arrogant or petty in a way that’s not ‘girl bossing’ #like can we talk about that too when y’all acknowledge Tim’s flaws it’s always in a ‘haha so real’ kinda way #Like u can never sit down and say this dude is petty and at times narrowmined and it screws him and the ppl around him over at times #It’s always ‘he’s so petty he’s real asf’ but when you talk about how weird it is to hold THAT kind of grudge against a 10 year old #now we’re victim blaming 💀 #I wouldn’t dislike fanon so much it y’all weren’t so weird about tbh #OH and god forbid the JL being competent without Bruce #god forbid they can do their fucking jobs #shocker 😱 the entire JL doesn’t revolve around Batman #most of them are not super duper intrigued by what he and his kids are doing 24/7 #woooooah #started reading GL (FINALLY SORRY) and I’m never gonna forgive what y’all did to hal Jordan 😏 #Im not fixing that emoji 😕 #BUT IM ALSO NEVER GONNA FORGIVE HOW YALL TREAT OLIVER QUEEN

[joskippy]

I hope the amount of research I have to do for c:u! shows because it’s the most frustrating aspect of this project LOL

#jontalks #sorry for deleting prev post and ask I do that then get extremely paranoid I shared too much and nuke everything LOL #I can def talk about second update because that is when the cast expands that’s not spoilers you’ve read the presentation walkthrough page #I hope #anyway I have a very like big problem where I get extremely irrationally angry when someone tries to do something with older tech and it #very obviously wouldn’t do that. can’t do that. or just doesn’t make sense for the time #like every god damn analog horror series just putting boring ass text on a blank background or using ballroom music #that doesn’t make sense and you fucking suck #you can take some liberties SURE but you better show me some accuracy with all the other shit #this reminds me when mag protocol was like haha isn’t weird for this old software to have text to speech and I screemed in pain so loud #my throat hurt from how mad I was #do you know how painful it was to do any trope in c:u for the first update like the glitching I started crying bc I was like it wouldn’t #do this…..noooo..nooooo but I’ll remember I’m basing this more off creepypastas then stupid ass analog horror series and calm down #I don’t like analog horror I hope this is apparent #walten files gets a pass bc the fourth tape actually knocked me on my ass

[karinyosa]

they should make food thats convenient and easy to eat in under like an hour

#food #ask to tag #so HARD for me to finish meals in a timely manner like it’s just difficult lmao #it’s not an appetite thing it’s not a self punishment thing like it’s truly an interest and attention thing #i could be eating lunch intermittently for like 2-3 hours. 4 on a bad day #karinyo.txt #UNLESS! you give me like chicken nuggets or whatever the fuck #or like sausage and rice #like i do have a weird ‘’easy foods’’ thing idk if it’s quite the same as having safe foods but there are parallels #pleasing and easy to eat. usually some kind of homogeneity to it #like ramen is ine #ground beef w rice. sausage like i said #if there’s like chicken on the bone and i have to get the chicken off the bone as i’m eating #it’ll take me forever i’ll get bored KFBDNDJ #im literally like a toddler is the problem #boneless chicken im ok with but it’s not quite an easy food #chipotle i will eat up. sorry authentic food enjoyers #fried chicken can be kind of an exception to the chicken thing i have no fucking clue why #crumbchy #if it’s not something like that then im like god why is it suchc a drag to finish an entire meal

[stars-and-birds]

i’m just so, so tired.

#sorry #more venting on the dash haha #i just. i’m so fucking tired #i’m weird guys #and not in the socially acceptable uwu tiktok girl kind of way. i’m just weird #and that’s why i’m going to ruin all my friendships because i always say the wrong thing #i always fuck it up #i don’t even have an excuse #i’m just weird. and it seems all happy and rainbows to be different but god it hurts #sorry i’m like a disney channel character #scroll past this #i’ll be fine tomorrow i just have a headache #vent

[amethyst-halo]

ok iread the forum and im NOT HAVING IT

#THIS SUCKS #I SWEAR TO GOD #THRY BETTER NOT #I AM NOT HAVING IT I HATE THIS BOOK WHAT ARE THEY DOING #UGH #sketch speaks #asc shadow #asc spoilers #warrior cats spoilers #wc spoilers #im so fucking mad right now #like fine we got a couple wins like squirrelstar and sparkpelt being good realization and whatever but SUNBEAM? #possible squirrelstar sorry im so mad I’m forgetting words #ABSOLUTELY NOT #GIRL YOU HAVE KNOWN HIM FOR A WEEK #IT WAS WEIRD WHEN HE DID IT WHY ARE YOU DOING IT TOO #NO NO NO NO NO