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dottedsilktie · 14 days

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Heartbreak season

Satoru and you end up in a peculiar predicament where you rely on each other to mend your broken hearts. It seems you have a harder time getting over your ex than he does, but he's always happy to help, no matter what it takes.

JJK College AU where reader falls hard for Toji before he leaves her to her own devices, and where Satoru frolics with Suguru before calling it quits. CW : MDNI - smut, afab reader, crude language, degradation, fingering, spanking, hair pulling, rough sex turns sweet, drinking, smoking, references to other relationships (Suguru x Satoru ; reader x Toji), breeding kink (kind of), fluff at the very end

You weren’t exactly yourself when you’d started dating Satoru. Leaving the quiet and intimate setting of your dorm room or Toji’s apartment to avoid the brunet made you fall headfirst in Satoru’s arms. Now, more often than not, your weekends are spent at his place, helping him host some dumb party or the umpteenth fundraiser his family was organising. The occasion never mattered, the only important issue at hand was for Satoru to get you in his arms and not let you out of his grasp for two uninterrupted days, sometimes even three when he managed to convince you to ditch Friday classes in favour of falling in bed with him a day earlier.

You were dancing in his living room like you’d done countless times by now, head thrown back to rest against his shoulder, eyes closed and hips undulating idly to the rhythm of the music.

Its loud thumping was in your ears and in your veins, the room starting to spin after 3 of your boyfriend’s sickeningly sweet but potent cocktails. Satoru’s large palms on your stomach and hips were scorching hot, making you arch your back and crane your neck to look at him with unfiltered lust. His dazzling blue eyes met yours, mirroring your own desire, before fluttering shut as he leaned down to press his spit-licked lips to yours. It was shameless - one hand splaying possessively on your stomach while the other groped at your hips, fingers long enough to dig into your ass, while he forced his tongue in your mouth. When you broke the kiss to catch your breath, you felt his breath fanning over your ear, mumbling something obscene as always - promises of how he’ll have you bent over his desk in no time, fucking you raw and within an inch of your life, making you drown in his cum. You only chuckled at that, finding his crude language funnier than it is arousing in your drunk state but your laugh died in your throat when you caught the green feline eyes staring you down from across the room.

Toji was looking you up appreciatively, his tired eyes glinting with disdain and lust, an odd combination you became too well acquainted with since you started dating Satoru. Toji wasn’t exactly a fan of the way Gojo handled you but he was, in a selfish, self-serving way, grateful for his foe’s proclivity for showing you off - so he could relive his own time with you through stolen glances, at the expense of the white-haired man. Somehow Toji’s eyes on you made Satoru’s possessive grip seem cooler, more bearable. You were biting your bottom lip hard enough to draw blood and your whole body stiffened when Toji smiled at you lazily, raising his glass to you subtly before downing his drink and in that moment, everything seemed to fall into the background, the only thing at the forefront of your mind was the bob of his Adam’s apple as he savoured what you knew to be single malt whiskey.

You were suddenly thirsty, absolutely parched, eyes furiously darting from his throat to his face and then sinking lower, to the broad expanse of his chest, his muscular thighs clad in dark denim, trying to take in every single minute detail of his appearance and committing it to memory so you could use it later tonight when you’ll happily bend for Satoru so he can fuck into your pussy with abandon, ass up and face down to freely mumble what sounds suspiciously like “Toji”, the sound drowning in Satoru’s silk pillowcases.

It was always like this when you slept with Satoru : you were so obedient, bending to his every whim and command, letting him manhandle you in the exact position he wanted. By the time his hands or his tongue were on you, you were far gone, eyes glossed over with lust and something else, undecipherable and dark, and it didn’t matter if it was really Satoru that was fucking into your cunt with practised ease since you could easily pretend that the lithe fingers rutting in your pussy were Toji’s, the bruising grip on your hip big enough to be confused with the brunet’s, and with your eyes closed like this, memories flooding your fucked out brain, you’d just hum and whimper pleas of “faster, Toji”.

You had the decency to be quiet about it first, but Satoru wasn’t stupid, he knew who you pretended he was even before you started to freely moan another man’s name when it was his dick that was piercing through your plush walls. But he never reprimanded you - he had to act like he knew the feeling to get you where he wanted.

Especially on lonely nights when he called you over and unceremoniously shoved your face in his comforter, his hand slapping your soft ass with unrestricted force. He marveled at how the supple flesh recoiled and bruised, his slaps cruel enough to bring blood to the surface. He didn’t hold back, he reckoned it was the least you could do for him after he let you have your fun every time he fucked you. He too, used you to summon an old ghost he used to love.

The memory made his vision blurry and he couldn’t be more thankful that you always kept your head down obediently so you couldn’t see his face, red and pathetic, although he knew that it wasn’t out of sympathy for him but rather for the same self-serving reasons he had to sleep with you. Made it easier for you to lie to yourself. And it made him a little crueller to you, a little delirious - your disinterest veiled in subservience made his blood boil. You could tell too, from the way he shoved two long fingers in your pussy abruptly, pumping them in and out and punctuating his ministrations by harsh slaps to your bruised cheeks. It made wanton moans slip past your swollen lips, your hips pushing back in a silent plea for more. Satoru’s face split with a wide grin at that, slipping his fingers out of you to take a hold of his cock and pumping it lazily as he gritted out, “You’re such a slut, getting off being used like this”.

You couldn’t help the disgruntled scoff you let out, turning to face him with an unamused gaze “That’s rich coming from someone like you, you fucking man whore”. It only made him laugh harder, the sound mirthless and foreign from him, and shove his hand in your hair mercilessly, holding you up and making your back ach uncomfortably. “Shut the fuck up - that’s the only thing I ask of you, to keep your mouth shut and you can’t even do that ?” He barked, tone cold and cruel but it made you snicker all the same, and his grip became truly unforgiving when you reminded him “Why ? Does it make focusing harder ? I guess my voice and his are pretty different, it must remind you of who you’re actually fucking”.

Satoru snapped at this, using his grip in your hair to shove your face in his pillow in a way that made you wince in pain while he sheathed himself fully in you. He started fucking in you with abandon, threatening “That’s it, I don’t want to hear you - not a word, not a moan, not even a fucking whimper”. His tone was serious and strained, his pace animalistic - and you just didn’t have it in you to hurt him further, holding your position and crying quietly in the pillow as a familiar heat started to build in your gut. Your cunt spasming rhythmically against his cock made Satoru moan loudly, coaxing him into rutting in you deeper, harder and one of his skilled hands found your clit. You bit back the moan that threatened to bubble out of your throat, one of your hands reaching behind to settle on Satoru’s large grip on your hips, the featherlight touch of your cool hand painfully contrasting with his bruising, scalding hot hold on the fat of your hips.

The feeling of your small palm against his hand was enough to calm him down, making him curl over your back to bury his face in the crook of your neck and mumble strings of apologies, promises of how he’ll be gentler, that today was just one of those days when his longing got the better of him and made him harsher, angry at the world and, despite his best efforts, angry at you too. Still, his pace was relentless, and you could barely make out his words over the loud sounds of his pelvis slapping against your ass, but you still squeezed his hand reassuringly, craning your neck to look back at him with teary eyes and a small smile. “It’s okay, I get it, sorry for being mean to you” you mumbled in a weak voice, broken up by whimpers and moans.

It made Satoru dizzy, the way you were so kind and malleable in his hands, fucked out but still sickeningly sweet to him. It made the bitterness that burned his throat simmer down into something tamer, more manageable and all he could think of right now was the heat in his gut, the way he wants to litter your tear-streaked cheeks with open-mouthed kisses to overwrite the cruel rutting of his cock in your cunt. It makes him pull out immediately, making both of you whimper at the loss, but he's spinning you abruptly to lay you down on your back and kissing your lips messily. He sloths his tongue in your mouth, licking and sucking at your own at a leisurely place, his cock now pressed against your thigh where he’s smearing his pre-cum.

His hands are in your hair and around your throat in a loose grip, stroking your skin as gently as he can – his way of saying sorry, a silent promise of “I’m better now, I’ll be good to you”. You want to tell him that it makes no difference to you, that you expect nothing of him and that the odd fondness he harboured for you was smothering you – but you just didn’t find it you to stop him, so you kiss him back lazily. You dragged your tongue over his bottom lip, your hands lightly scratching his shoulders and his back, pulling away from his lips just enough to whisper in a needy voice “‘Toru, please fuck me, I need you”. The words sent a wave of pleasure in his body, pushing him into action without even having to think. He grabbed his cock and pushed it in your cunt slowly, leveling a wide-eyed gaze at your face to catch the way your eyebrows furrowed and your lips parted at the intrusion.

He moved slowly this time, long and purposeful strokes of his hips into yours to watch the irritation and tension drain off your pretty face, only leaving raw pleasure in their wake to paint your cheeks and neck red. He was doing his best not to bite his adoration right into your skin, tearing his gaze off the column of your throat and following the line of your clavicles, eyeing your soft chest heaving in laboured breaths, and drifting lower to the dip of your waist. Your whole body was slack now, undulating languidly against his own with the sole purpose of pleasing yourself. Satoru realized the depth of his affection when he thought cry at the sight, his reverence was evident in his gaze and his touch. His hands were already trembling when he reached for your stiff and puffy nipples to pull and twist them, then moved his palms to knead at the plush fat of your breasts in a daze. But when he pressed one hand on your stomach to feel himself actual tears threatened to slip past his lash line.

His misplaced affection would be flagrant if you were paying it any mind but you weren’t. You were a puddle of nothingness, eyes closed and mouth open to moan wantonly, so Satoru just had to fuck you in earnest, hoping that even a fraction of his adoration would get through to you. It seemed like he was doing a fine job at it, with the way your teary eyes shoot open to search for his and a line of drool stained the corner of your mouth, mumbled pleas and his name, his name at last, leaving your lips in between gasps for air. The sight of his disheveled form did wonders for you too, a rare occurrence since you were always trying your hardest to not look at him whenever you gave yourself to him. It gives you whiplash, how his handsome face was broken up with the slightest tremors, almost making you forget how he usually took you – mean, cruel, unforgiving. Satoru usually fucked you like he hated you, barking at to you with a snarl so cruel you might just believe all the bullshit he spewed in his sex-crazed high. Yet the way his hips almost stilled now and the razor-sharp focus of his eyes on you made you think he was actually seeing you for the first time, that he wasn’t fucking you to forget the things he never speaks of, but with the sole intent to commit every last detail of your unkempt state to memory and to please you.

His look was nothing short of adoring and it made you sob, painfully sincere and broken, and Satoru caved in – hips picking up their pace, his dick drilling into your cunt while his forehead rested against yours and he was pleading like a madman ,“Please look at me, I want to see your face when you cum”. You nodded fervently, keeping your eyes open even as tears streamed down your cheeks and your pussy convulsed almost painfully around his length. Satoru rewarded you with kisses to your jaw, your temples, whispers of how beautiful you look, how he could cum just from looking at you but he still tried his hardest to starve off his own orgasm a little longer. He was greedy, thinking that for the first time you were being truthful in your pleasure and yielding, feigned subservience turning into honest affection, so he needed more proof of it. That’s why he asked you with urgency, hot breath fanning against your ear, “I’m close, where do you want me ?”. It was an odd question, given that you’ve always been hellbent on him never finishing inside you, but then again you also never wanted to even look at him yet your gaze was somehow boring into his like he was the only man to ever exist so he had to push his luck.

Your gaze faltered for a moment, turning away in a look he’s never seen on you before – bashfulness, uncertainty? – but you were quick to refocus on him again, biting your lip hard enough to taste iron on your tongue. You snaked your legs around his waist and dug your heels in his lower back, fisting your hand in his hair to bring him closer and whispering against his cheek “I want you inside, 'Toru – please, wanna feel it deep inside me”. Satoru had to close his eyes for a moment, your words echoing in his mind endlessly : it was the urgency, the sheer desperation of your pleas that got to him. You asked for it like you meant it for once, and he couldn’t deny you or himself much longer, so he grabbed your face to anchor himself and kiss you – all teeth and tongue, making an absolute mess of himself with how much he’s drooling into your open mouth – even as his hips stuttered with how hard he’s cumming. He couldn’t bring himself to stop the wild rutting of his hips, especially not when you let out a loud shriek of his name and started spasming around him once more, steadily driving him into overstimulation. By then he was weeping, crystalline tears bleeding into your cheek, and his orgasm seemed never-ending with how much he emptied into you. He held you close throughout it all, nosing at your cheek and drinking in your small whines.

When everything subsided and your breathing evened out, he still expected you to push him away, but you didn't. Instead, you maneuvered your tired limbs around his to twist on your side, sighing when he pulled out, your back against his chest. For once you weren’t trying to hide yourself anymore, so Satoru took another chance: he brushed your tousled hair out of your face and stroked your wet cheeks, and he marveled when you quietly cried against his palm. It was so unlike you, how soft you were allowing yourself to be.

Even after you ran to him when everything came crashing down with Toji you were still guarded. You’d let him flaunt you and stake his claim on you publicly, but it seemed like you were never really there through it all. And when he took you to warm his bed, after all was said and done, you’d flee to hide yourself in his bathroom and light yourself a cigarette while you soaked in his bath. Satoru had to sit in a pool of his own cum, resenting you for leaving him but loving you all the same. He hated that you always ran to call Toji and that he never picked up, so you kept trying until you grew too tired and settled on leaving him pathetic voice messages.

You never admitted to it, but Satoru knew it, could hear you even over the soft hum of the water splashing in the bathtub. It was never clear what you said, but you were there for a while – sometimes your diatribes were heated and angry and he could make out the biting words you were screaming in your phone receiver, on other instances your voice wasn’t louder than a murmur and he had to press his ear to the door to listen to your mournful voice. Your pain brought him back to his own suffering: the heartbreak, the screams withering into sobs, an open wound that festers. He knew it all too well, after all it’s what he used to get you where he wanted. Bonding over being left behind was the promise he initially made you, and the kinship you established was too entrenched in his past affliction for him to completely get over it. So, to keep you in his arms, he had to pretend to mourn what was with Suguru. You were understanding of his pain, doing just about anything to alleviate some of it, but you were unforgiving of his affection for you. It was almost endearing how you thought he was still fucking you while thinking about Suguru, but he humoured you.

Now’s different though. You’re unmoving in his embrace, save for the small sobs rocking your body. You don’t even reach for the pack of Dunhill smokes he keeps in the lowest drawer of his bedside table just for you. To make things worse, you twist again to face him this time, all-teary eyed and flushed cheeks and quivering lips, small hands grasping at him. It stirs something deep within him, premonition of what’s to come and at last any remnants of another love are stripped away from his mind. He tightens his hold around you, strokes your hair and cheeks, shushing you. It feels almost indecent, seeing in such a vulnerable state, like he’s invading your privacy even when you’re the one clinging to him. He moves to put some distance between you, whispers that he’ll get you a wet cloth and some water – an excuse to get away from you, because if you keep it up, he just might combust.

You only cry harder, sitting up and encircling his torso with your arms, your cheek against his shoulder blade. “Don’t leave me”, you start weakly, tremolos of sadness and something undecipherable making your voice vacillate. Satoru freezes instantly, slowly placing a hand over yours on his stomach, quickly promising, “I won’t, I’m here” but it doesn’t soothe you. So you repeat louder, as if to convey the weight of your words, “You don’t get it, you have to promise you won’t leave me”. “I just did”, he retorts, the smile in his voice is evident and it makes you want to slap it clean off his pretty face.

You press yourself against him a little harder, hitting his chest but he catches your hand and turns to face you. “I know what I’m saying, I won’t leave you” he repeats, intertwining his fingers with yours and his grin grows even wider when you struggle to meet his gaze – acting all coy even as his cum seeps out of your cunt, even after you begged for him and asked for his reassurance. You both know what it means. He speaks up again “I won’t, so you have to promise me the same, okay ?” He presses again, has to see if you really understand the weight of your own request. You do ; he sees it for himself when you blink up at him and mouth “I promise”.

That night you both soak in Satoru’s bathtub. You don’t smoke and you don’t make any late night calls. Instead, Satoru feeds you peppermint flavored sweets to replace the harsh menthol of your smokes. He talks your ear off from the bathroom to the bed, and doesn’t let you out of his arms as he bathes you, dries you, dresses you – a wordless vow of how he’ll do just about anything for you.

You go to bed facing him and kiss him back with fervour, mouthing countless promises into his mouth – a covert love confession that’ll have to do for now. Satoru knows you’ll be more honest soon, but he also knows that he’s already won when he catches you throwing away your cigarettes the next morning and replacing them with the brand of mints he likes, stashing them away in his – soon to be yours, too – bedside table.

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#jujutsu kaisen #jjk smut #gojo satoru #gojo x reader #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru x you #gojo satoru x yn #gojo x you #jjk gojo #gojo smut #toji fushiguro #jjk angst

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system-to-the-madness · 4 months

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Setting The Record Straight - Gojō Satoru x Reader

MAJOR SPOILERS FOR CHAPTER 236 – set after chapter 236 Pairing: Gojō Satoru x Reader (can be read as any gender, no pronouns used) Genre: hurt/comfort – angst to fluff Word Count: 1 923 Warnings: death, canontypical violence Summary: Following his victory over Sukuna, Gojō comes to comfort you, who thought he had died. A/N: like… two weeks late but whatever. Also: tag for @nnasv (I'm not sure if you wanted to be tagged for this, all the stories or another one; if i made a mistake, please let me know!) And @un-lawliet bc 💕

Masterlist

The moment the screens displayed Gojō Satoru’s death, you turned around and left. You knew the chances that Gojō would make it unharmed had always been slim, but watching the man you loved against better judgment die in front of your eyes, was not something you were prepared for. No matter how much time you’d have to mentally prepare for it, you’d never be able to watch it. So instead, you turned around and left the room, the others in so much shock, they barely noticed how you closed the door behind you. But you made sure to shut two more doors between yourself and them before you allowed the first whimpers to slip past your lips. Your knees buckled under your weight, the world seemed to have lost its balance, as you stumbled forwards, barely managing to hold onto the armrest of a small couch. Staring down at the unnervingly soft fabric underneath your hands, you watched as tears dripped from your cheeks, creating small spots of darkness where they hit the cushion.

You couldn’t believe he was gone. Rationally you knew he was, the slice that took his life having also buried itself deep into your heart, leaving a bleeding wound that would leave ugly scars. And what you thought was almost worse, was that Gojō had expected this to happen, he had known it would happen. Otherwise, why would he have kept everyone at a distance with his infinity when he was bidding his goodbye just a few hours ago? You remembered Yūji’s almost offended expression when he noticed he couldn’t hug his teacher to wish him good luck. Even though you knew it would be futile, you had reached your hand out for Gojō’s anyway, hoping he’d somehow acknowledge these unspoken feelings that had fluttered between you for months now. But your fingertips had met the unyielding barrier of his cursed technique, and he had walked away from you, not sparing you another glance. You knew he had been focusing on the task ahead, but now, now that he was gone, you wondered if maybe you had just imagined him showing the same interest in you that you had developed for him. Either way you wished you could have said a proper goodbye.

Now the pain over having lost Gojō made you topple over, and you let yourself drop to the deep cushions of the couch. It was ridiculous to feel this way, you thought to yourself as you hugged your knees to your chest. You had lost friends before, but it had never hurt this badly. And Gojō was nothing more than a friend, right? No matter how much you had wanted him to be more. There had never been any confessions, agreements or promises. Gojō was your friend, even with the lingering glances and touches, the late-night talks, and his relentless teasing. He was nothing more than a friend. Then why did it hurt so much more than any other time you had lost a friend?

You cried for hours, until you had no more tears left, until your face was red, your eyes bloodshot, your voice hoarse, and your body limp with exhaustion. Whatever was happening outside, whatever havoc Sukuna was causing since Gojō’s deaths, you didn’t know, and a part of you didn’t even care anymore. Tomorrow you could go back to thinking about bringing an end to Sukuna, but not tonight. Tonight, you’d grieve your friend, and come tomorrow morning, you’d think about a way to avenge his death.

By the time the screens in the observation room flickered to black, you were fast asleep, curled against the backrest of the couch you had found in what had to be an old waiting room of sorts. Fast asleep, haunted by nightmares, you were oblivious to the panic of the other sorcerers when they couldn’t follow Sukuna’s battle anymore. You slept through the sound of the door to the building springing open, and the sorcerers jumping to their weapons to defend themselves against whatever evil had invaded the observation room. Not even the shouts of surprise at the realization of who had just dragged themselves back to safety tore you from your sleep, nor did the cries of relief at this unexpected reunion.

When he opened the door to the waiting room, in which he had been told you had hidden away, Gojō Satoru was determined to finally talk to you about all the things he had refused himself to admit ever since he had realized just how deep you had dug yourself into his heart. Since he had met Yūji, he had known that in the end it would come down to a battle between him and Sukuna, and he had refused to give you the hope for a relationship, when he might die so soon. Now that he had died – and refused to stay dead – it was about high time he got to talk to you about his feelings and where he wanted your relationship to head, to find out if you had the same in mind. Standing in the doorway, glancing at your sleeping figure on the sofa across the room, he realized all the talking had probably time until tomorrow morning.

When Inumaki-kun had told him that you had just left and hidden away, he had known that he had to be gentle and give you time, but the way you were resting now, curled in on yourself, shivering from the cool air, made his heart ache worse than he would have expected. Quietly he closed the door, and crossed the room, while shrugging out of his jacket. Your breath was irregular, muscles twitching under your skin as you lay with your back to the room. Carefully Gojō spread the jacket over your body, hoping the material might help you warm up, then he crouched down next to you. It wasn’t hard to guess that you were having a nightmare, and Gojō wondered if he was to blame for whatever your mind replayed to you right now.

Reaching out, he placed a hand on your shoulder, gently shaking you. “Hey, come on, wake up,” he whispered, leaning a little closer to you. “You’re having a nightmare, wake up.”

Even though you didn’t jolt awake, he could tell the exact moment you woke up, from when your breathing changed. Sleepily you turned your head, and Gojō could swear his heart stopped for a moment, when he saw how red your eyes were from crying. He had done that. He was to blame for the pain you had gone through. No matter how exhausted he was, he was ready to kill Sukuna all over again for killing him and making you cry because of it.

“Satoru?”

He froze. You never called him by his given name. But it sounded so sweet and warm, he wanted to beg you to say it all over again. And again. And again.

“Yeah, I’m right here,” he whispered, and reached up, brushing a strand of hair out of your sleepy eyes, only to see them filling with tears.

“This is a good dream then,” you mumbled, reaching out and taking hold of his shirt.

“This is no dream, I promise,” Gojō answered, realizing you had to assume you were still asleep. “I’m right here with you.” Quickly he moved to sit on the edge of the couch beside you, brushing more of your hair out of your face, and adjusting the jacket he had thrown over you.

You stretched out your legs and moved closer to the cushions of the backrest to make room for him at your side. “Stay with me?”

A small smile spread over his face, and he leant down, pressing his lips to your forehead in a gentle kiss. “For as long as you want me to.”

When you tucked at his shirt, he moved to lay down beside you, wrapping his arms around you. Satisfied he found you snuggled closer into his embrace, your back to his chest, and intertwined your hand with one of his. Softly he nudged his nose into your hair, deeply inhaling the tender scent that clung to it.

“I just wish, you’d still be here when I wake up,” you whispered so quietly, Gojō had to strain his ears to even hear you.

“Careful what you wish for,” he chuckled, brushing his lips against the shell of your ear. God, he wanted to kiss you so badly, pepper kisses over your face and neck, press his lips against yours, wanted to find out how sweet they’d taste. But while you were half asleep and had not really realized he was not just a figment of your imagination he could hardly do any of that with good conscious. You’d get enough of a shock tomorrow morning when you woke up anyway.

You didn’t answer any further to his teasing, and a while later your breathing evened out, signaling him you had fallen asleep in his arms. Once he was sure you wouldn’t jolt back awake, he closed his eyes as well. He was tired, so, so tired. When had been the last time he had given into his exhaustion? He couldn’t remember. But now that he felt your warm body so securely pressed to his, that Sukuna was a problem of the past, that Megumi and Yūji were both saved… the temptation to just loose himself in the warmth and comfort of the moment was overwhelming and he closed his eyes. After all this time, wasn’t even he allowed to rest for a little while?

Satoru got brutally startled awake by the sound of the door slamming against the wall. Instinctively he raised his hand to shield his eyes from the bright light that suddenly lit up the room when Megumi’s voice called from the doorway.

“Yūji made breakfast,” he announced, sounding rather annoyed that he had been sent as a messenger.

Satoru turned his head, taking a look at the boy in the door. He was badly beaten up, there was no doubt about that, but the gleam in his eyes told Satoru that he at least had lost none of his spirit.

“The food’s fresh, so if you spend too much time making out, don’t complain when it’s turned cold.”

And with that Megumi was out the room again.

Making out?

Satoru blinked confused, when he suddenly felt something warm brush against his face, and when he turned his head, he found you were already looking at him, brushing his hair out of his forehead.

His breath hitched as he noticed just how close you were laying to him, your face only inches away from his, your eyes soft as you watched him comprehend the situation.

“Surprise,” he mumbled. “Not dead.”

Instead of answering him, you just smiled, your eyes continuing to roam over his face until they stopped on his lips. His breath hitched again. For a few seconds you stared at his lips before your eyes moved up to meet his again. Satoru swore you had to hear his heartbeat echo through the room. And then you leant in, just close enough for there to be a tiny gap left, leaving the decision to Satoru. For a moment he wondered how mad Yūji would be if he’d let the breakfast grow cold, but then he decided he could probably deal with one or two upset teenagers after he had set the record straight with you, and closed the remaining distance to your lips.

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meguemii · 9 months

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ˋ°•*⁀➷S. Gojo

Head canons.

Annoying! Gojo x Reader who is not a fan (enemies to lovers)

Now you could NOT stand Gojo Satoru, but being so close with Shoko and Suguru it was unfortunately inevitable that you and Gojo would often cross paths.

You could not understand why they loved him so much because he was always just always insufferably cocky. So what he was strong. You were too but you didn’t boast about it constantly. Chosen one your ass.

Constant “Y/NNN! why can’t we hangout one on one? you always do with Shoko and Suguru!!”. “Because I don’t like you Gojo.” -_- . But he never gets the hint, not even hint. YOU ARE SAYING IT TO HIS FACE.

He’ll start clinging to you in group settings, arm always around your shoulders in a teasing way. Because he thinks it’s all in good fun when in reality you just cannot stand him.

He called you a nickname/ pet name once and you lost your shit. “My name is Y/N. You don’t get to call me that. Infact you need to call me by my last name. L/N. Do you understand me Gojo?” THE PUPPY DOG EYES GE GIVES YOU IN RESPONSE AS HE MAKES HIS LIL QUIVER LOL. “but Shoko, Geto, Nanami, Haibara and even Utahime get to call you that” making this face🥺.

Ever since then he only calls you by a nickname or pet name . “N/N wait for me!” which you don’t do. “good morning gorgeous” stuff like that.

As time goes on everything becomes more natural, you don’t scream at him as much or get violent. No more duels to the death or even death glares. Just annoyed faces. Then those annoyed faces turn to soft smiles. Which turn to secret laughs on private.

You and Gojo finally start getting along, or at least you start getting along with Gojo. Going to get food by yourselves, shopping trips, long late night talks about the jujutsu society. Really getting to know each other.

He’ll start bringing you snacks and drinks at random times, the teasing becomes more flirty. Random gifts, souvenirs from missions. Lot’s of compliments.

Then he invites you to a family get together where he introduces you as his girlfriend? eeeeerm? did we miss a few chapters?!!?!? Fake smile, introduce yourself, have a good time. “WHAT THE FUCK GOJO???” he is so lost about why you’re mad. “What?🧍” “Since when are we dating?!” “since forever ago” big face palm

That’s the story of how you and Gojo Satoru started dating🤗

Gojo Playlist

Master list

Okay first real Gojo head canon done, the only acceptable trope for Gojo x Reader is ennemies to lovers change my mind (that’s a joke i love all of the gojo x reader tropes ^_^) I HOPE YOU GUYS ENJOY THIS ONE AS MUCH AS YOU ENJOYED MY AWKWARD MEGUMI HEAD CANONS.

Not proof read :’3

reblogs and hearts are appreciated❣️I also love hearing from everyone so feel free to comment x

I’m working on Hardly Friends chapter 4 as well as some mood boards + scenarios for you guys since you all really loved that one!!

Love, Emi

#gojo x reader #jujutsu gojo #gojo satoru #gojo satoru x reader #jujutsu kaisen x yn #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #gojo x yn #gojo satoru x yn #gojo satoru headcanons

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riswippiesx · 3 months

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Fallen God! Gojo Satoru X Fem! Reader part: two

| Part one

Your way back to your apartment was quite silent. You were irritated, you really were. How could a stranger ever dare to kiss you? But why did his touch felt so familiar? Why did you feel like you waited so long to feel that touch? What was this feeling? Longing? No way. That was a stranger.

You brushed away all your thoughts and changed back into your comfortable cloths. You didn't have work. It was a day off. You relaxed and sat on the couch and took your phone. What was his name? You could have asked for his name, maybe? No. Stop. You need to stop thinking about some mere stranger!

You tried hard to brush off his thoughts the entire day, untill you fell asleep, you really did, but...the dram which woke you up around 4 am was not something you were expecting in a normal day.

You were in happily roaming around, with a man. His silhouette was all you could remember. He was tall. And that was it. You couldn't remember any other detail about him. A faint voice addressed you as "Y/n".. The scenery— that didn't seem very modern, rather it felt like some forbidden, forgotten forest? You weren't sure.

What was it? If it was really a dream why did it feel so real? You had no answer to that.

You would be alright if it was a one time thing. Every day you had the same dream, same scenary, same man, except, each night it reveled his features, one by one. One day you saw his white hair which was quite an indication to that very stranger you met, but you forcibly brushed your thoughts away.

Another day, you saw his gorgeous blue eyes, adoring you, loving you. Again a similarity with that pervert? No way! You were pissed about everything, including your mind for letting you be captivated by a literal pervert!!

But that specific thoughts about him was brushing away every day. You wanted to see the full face of that man. And maybe you felt like that man was that one stranger, you knew so but you didn't know how.

Then the dreams stopped, just to reveal all of it at a certain night. You saw everything clearly. You knew everything clearly. You could recall everything, very clearly. A faint hug, then a pair of lips, falling on your own, giving your the warmth of eternity.

You woke up, with tears flooding your face. You were crying. It was him. Not a pervert, it was him. It was Gojo. It was your Gojo-sama.

You felt like running straight to him. You needed to see him right then. But you didn't even ask for his address. But you would find him anyhow!

You reached to that certain shop once it was morning. You couldn't want any longer. You asked the locals about his whereabouts and found a trace. You ran to that place as your mind danced in joy, joy of seeing him again when you won't fail to recognise him.

Buy your happiness was quick to vanish once you found the apartment empty. The crappy apartment where you were supposed to find him was just empty without any further trace.

You again asked the locals about any place where he could possibly move to. But you didn't find any clue. You came back to his one room apartment. Where was he? Where would you search for him now?

You sat on the floor, feeling the bitter of a losing game. The wind blew, played with your hair in rhythm, which spoke of longing, years of wait and forgotten love. A piece of paper stated to fly with the wind and rested infront of you.

You eyed the paper and took it in your hands. It gave you warmth only to snatch it away right after. Your eyes were teary as you read:

"I know, maybe you would recall everything one day and come to find me, but my love, let's not meet this time. I can recall how my curse fell upon you in your past life. I can't let it happen to you again. So I am distancing myself from you. I can't live there where I know I could see you further. It would force me to meet you again. I won't let that happen. I love you, I still do. You are the only one for me. I lived so many years with your memories, thinking you won't ever come back but you did. And I met you. I can continue living with that piece of happiness. So don't look behind to find me, don't cry for me either. I won't be there to wipe your tears and knowing that my soul hurts. So for me, look ahead, where a bright future awaits you."

You sat there, didn't know what to do. You felt like a very dear part of your heart was taken away from you, forever. Your sin for pushing your god away was so sinful that your god was punishing you such way? You couldn't think anymore. The very known faint scent of him tantalised you, comforting you to look ahead of you where you could see bright lights, except the source of the light wasn't him.

Here's the second and LAST part of fallen god! Gojo x reader 😷☝️ thanks a lot for such amazing response in the first part. Also thanks for requesting! Take love<3333333333

Thanks for reading♡

Also i'm planning a series for suguru geto x fem reader. So, maybe first part soon? 👀☝️but before that, I'll post the requested fic(most probably it'll be an oneshot) 💗👀

REBLOGS AND COMMENTS ARE ALWAYS APPRECIATED <333

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sutaro-min · 8 months

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everything and everything

[ gojo x yn ] what was it like dating gojo satoru? it was everything.

warnings. angst, broken relationship

what was it like dating the most powerful sorcerer in the world?

you remember days of satoru coming home late at night. night after night. in the beginning, you would gladly stay up and wait for him to walk through the front door, so you could hold each and whisper sweet nothings to each other and slowly fall asleep. but eventually, you didn’t bother to leave the light on. and eventually, he didn’t bother to come home.

most days you were able to tell when satoru was stressed or overwhelmed with something from work. those days he would joke a little too much while tensing and pushing away your every touch. all you wanted to do was hug him. comfort him. to let him know that he was safe here with you. but all your words would dry up, and all you got was a door shut in your face.

you knew that his job, his role, in this world always left him used to being alone at the top. being the strongest. you knew that he lived losing everything and everyone he ever loved. you knew that from the beginning, some part of him would always keep you at a distance because he was afraid of losing you. you knew, but you couldn’t understand. you couldn’t understand that the distance he kept was something you could cross. that if you really tried, and really asked, you could have done it together. you didn’t know that when gojo loved, he loved with his whole being and with everything that he had. you didn’t know that all of that belonged to you.

but to be fair, it actually wasn’t so bad in the beginning. in fact, it was really really good.

there were days filled with quiet walks in the mornings and sweet, laughter-filled nights. days of chaste kisses and hand-holding behind the buildings—like you were high schoolers all over again. it may have seemed like a honeymoon stage of puppy love, but it wasn’t that at all. you had arguments too—terrible terrible arguments. you had nights where you cried all night. where one slept on the sofa and the other alone in the bedroom. and yet, through it all, someone always came back, and you would wake up next to each other. holding each other. you guys worked. when one was feeling their worst, the other was there to be their best.

you saw the worst in each other. but you also saw the absolute best in each other. it was, love.

so what was it like dating gojo satoru? it was joy, and comfort, and pure. but it was also sorrow, and pain, and loneliness. it was everything and everything. he could have done it forever: loving you and the everything that lay in-between. after all, he is the strongest.

But you weren’t. You were just, you.

and everything was just too much.

#jjk #jjk x reader #gojo satoru #jujutsu kaisen #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru x yn #gojo satoru angst #jjk imagines #jujutsu kaisen angst #gojo x reader #geto suguru #nanami kento #boyfriend gojo

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s3thistir3d · 4 months

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“Formality or misfortune. The colour black is associated with elegance and mourning.”

In a not-so-rare instance, I liked the sketch more than the lineart :’)

#s3thistir3d #did fanart of my own fanfic #because why not ya know #also gonna use that as an opening for the wedding fic hehehe #artist on tumblr #sketch #art #fanart #traditional art #jjk fanart #gojo satoru #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru x yn #gojo satoru x male reader

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tojikai · 1 year

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Permanent Mark IX: Mistakes

Pairing: Gojo x Reader

Genre: Angst

Warnings: pregnancy, mentions of abortion, insecurities, mentions of cheating

Series Masterlist

“Sometimes, our mistakes come back to haunt us...”

“You don’t plan on working for your parent’s company?” Satoru asked you as you played with his hair. He’s laying on his stomach with his head on your chest, and his fingers caressing your thighs. It was raining outside and the sky looked so dark yet the brightness in his eyes as they bore into yours lit up every corner of your bedroom. It’s been 6 months since you started dating officially and the other day, your parents came over, accidentally meeting him for the first time.

They got a bit upset that you didn’t even tell them that you were in a serious relationship, especially your Mom who almost did an in-depth, complete background check on Satoru. You remember how she once told you that if you were going to get into a relationship, especially if it’s a serious one, make sure that your partner will not cause any shame or taint your name and the company. She can’t have you marrying ‘just anyone.’

You hated how they always tell you what they want you to do yet never took the time to actually educate and look after you. You understand that they have been letting you off the hook for a long time now, allowing you to sit and look pretty even after you graduated college but you see it as them putting everything first before you. Your plan was to at least start a family of your own, and take care of your kid before you dedicate yourself to building the company because you know that once your mom gets her grip on you, it won’t be easy to get away from her.

“No. Not now.” You traced the bridge of his nose, making his eyes flutter shut. You admired him; even with the turmoil inside your mind, you always made space to marvel at his beauty. “I thought she was going to ask me to draw my family tree.” Satoru laughed, kissing the valley of your breasts, coaxing you to join him. It’s still fun now because it hasn’t happened yet but knowing how far your mom can go, it’s not a laughing matter at all. Your mother is not a bad person, just a…bad parent. She thinks of you as a pawn for her company, making sure that you’re suited for it when the time comes.

That’s quite contrary to how your Dad treats you. He’s responsible for the freedom that you’re having, and even if he’s not always with you, he never forgets to call you or check on you. You understand that what your mom is doing is because of all the things she wants to reach and prove to everyone. You just happened to be included in the materials that she needed to accomplish them, unfortunately. And you didn’t realize that it will comprise your personal and private life even as you grow older and become your own person.

“There’s nothing you can do. Abort it. Or you won’t get a single penny from us. I’ll throw you down with the regulars.” Your mother’s threats are not empty ones and you are sure of it. Even your dad turned to look at her, eyebrows furrowed at her harshness. Not once has this been mentioned, no matter how badly you acted and no matter what you did.

“That’s too much. Your daughter’s already here and working. What more will you ask of her?” Your father finally spoke, obviously not agreeing with your Mom’s decision. Despite your mother’s attitude, they never fought much even when you were little. You used to think that maybe they’re just too busy with this company to even argue, but looking at it now, you can’t help but think that maybe it’s because your father always chose not to reason with her. Not getting anything from your Mom is not a problem, you have your dad. And it’s not like you couldn’t do anything either. Now that you have a real responsibility, you know you’d do your best to adjust. You can’t forever be like this, anyway.

“It’s alright. I’ll take care of them. Y/N and the baby.” Satoru swallowed thickly, thinking of a way to get you out of the situation without being disrespectful, even as your mom threw him a sharp look. “You literally dumped my daughter and now you’re telling me that you could take care of her? Boy, I don’t trust you one bit.” Your mother snarled, looking Satoru down. You felt him slightly flinch, floored by your mother’s brutal honesty. You remembered how you told them that Satoru broke up with you, but never mentioned that he cheated on you. You could only imagine how harsher your mother would be if she knew.

Satoru took a deep breath, obviously taken aback by your mother’s words. He could see how different you are from her. You can be stubborn at times but you never look at people in such a way that could make them question their worth. He glanced down for a second before standing straighter, squeezing your hand but before he could answer your mom, you decided that it wouldn’t lead the argument to a better path. The only way to settle this down is to let your mother know that you’re firm with your decision.

“I won’t do it, Mom. I’ll work with the regular employees if you want me to. But this is my kid, I decide what I will do with it.” Your voice was shaking but even so, you did your best to stand up to your mother who could only look at you with annoyance. For some reason, you cannot let go of the growing life inside you. Shoko already told you that you’d have to be smart with your decisions, especially when it involves the baby. She reminded you of the situation and you understand how heavy it is but it’s not enough to shut down the warmth of happiness that fills your chest every time you think about how it could change your life.

Maybe after all the wrong things that you’ve done, you could finally do something right.

“Do you even know what you’re getting yourself into, Y/N?” Your mom sounded desperate as she sighed, shoulder slouching as her brows pulled up and bumped together. She looked more worried now than mad, like how she always gets when you get yourself into trouble. But this time, this is not mere trouble; it’s connected to you and your whole being. You know that you have another option and you're not overlooking that but right now, your choice is to keep it.

"I'm sorry, Mom." You took a deep breath as you blinked three times in a row, preparing yourself for whatever consequence it is that you’d have to face for being insolent after all the years of freedom that they have given you. You can see your mother shake her head as you look down at your feet. Satoru's body relaxed for a short while before he changed his stance, ready to leave.

"Are you two together again?" Your father asked, glancing at Satoru for a second before looking back at you. Your father’s not showing any signs of hostility towards Satoru and you know that it’s only because he has no idea why you broke up. You shook your head before your ex could answer and you could almost hear him sigh. You know that he's still hoping even if he wasn't telling you. But you're done with all of this. You cannot have yourself overthinking about the sturdiness of the relationship when it's built up on its own ashes after it burnt down to the ground.

"No. But he wants to be present—" Before you could finish, your mother's already cutting you off, her anger skyrocketing once again as she hears you make excuses for the man who carelessly stomped on your heart. "Then where will it lead you? You'd only end up falling back in the palm of his hand even if you don't want it. You know better than to settle for someone who'd throw you away so easily." Satoru winced, remembering how your mother refused to talk to him properly at the hospital if not for the sake of her image.

"You don’t understand, Mom." You exhaled, not caring if your voice broke. This situation is too much for you. The only preparation you made was about the baby. You didn't think they’d interrogate you about your relationship with Satoru too and you blame yourself for it. You should’ve known that they’d ask about the father if you tell them that you’re keeping it. You wouldn’t admit it to yourself that you purposely avoided thinking about what’s going to be the agreement between you and Satoru. You don’t want that kind of topic because it only reminds you that your child might never have a whole family and it’s breaking you.

“Just know that I’m not taking any of my words back.” Your mother held her head high despite the prominent frustration on her face. You can see your father reaching over to rub her back but she quickly turned to make an exit. You didn’t expect your mother to back down quickly, but you thought that maybe she was thinking about your state too. Your father shook his head, deep in thought as you felt Satoru’s hold on your hand loosen up a bit as he turned to you to scan your face.

“Are you alright?” He asked you, not letting go of your hand before he looked over to your father when he heard you hum. He was probably thinking of how to excuse the two of you to leave. It was eerily quiet and you could only watch your shadows on the tiled floor as you replayed the previous scene in your head. You unconsciously reached to pat your stomach, wondering if it could also feel the quick beats of your heart.

“If you need anything you can call, Y/N. Don’t put yourself in a situation where you’d have to beg—” Your father was interrupted by Satoru as he stepped forward, “It’s okay. I…I won’t make her do something like that. I’m just…just owning up to my mistakes.” Your father probably thought that you had to ask Satoru to stay with you for the sake of your child. You understand if he thought that it was the case. After all, what they know is that Satoru was the one who left. Knowing how they view you, your parents most likely assumed that it was you who made a problem.

“Why did you leave my daughter?” Your eyes widened when you heard how your father asked Satoru so directly. In an instant you were holding his arm, pulling him back as you tried to put your thoughts together to make an excuse for what happened. “We fell out of love.” You quickly answered, making Satoru look at you with a puzzled look. You cannot let your parents know. Not when you’re having a kid with him. You know that the baby is just as important to you as it is to Satoru and you could only think of how your parents would probably try to keep it away from him if they found out.

No matter how you think of it. You don’t think it will be fair to him if they step over his rights of being a father to his own child.

“I…I feel sick. C-can we go now?” You added quickly, squeezing Satoru’s arm tightly but not letting your father notice it. You hate to lie to him but this is for the better. It’d only cause more chaos if they found out. Your biggest fear is not raising your child with separated parents but it is raising your child without even knowing who his or her father is. “Do we need to go to the doctor?” Satoru held you by your arms, letting you lean on him, unaware of what you were trying to do. You simply shook your head and looked at your father who was already on his feet, pulling out his phone from his pocket.

“Sit here, I’ll call a doctor.” You almost cursed when he spoke the idea but instead, you shook your head, insistent on just leaving before everything gets worse, “No. Maybe I just need to rest. Can we just go home?” Your eyes flicked between your father and Satoru. You felt bad that you were worrying them but what else could you do?

”Alright, uhm…I’m sorry for what happened.” Satoru spoke to your father, not really knowing what to say after the situation with your mom. You could see your father shaking his head at him, “Just make sure she’s safe. Y/N, call me. You know your mother’s just like that but she loves you.” He reminded you, walking closer to give you a hug. You only nodded your head, feeling your father rub your back to comfort you. “I’ll talk to her. Don’t worry.” You pulled away with a hum, stepping away to let Satoru once again support your body.

It felt like all the tension escaped your body the moment you heard Satoru bid goodbye to your father. You could feel your muscles loosening as you quietly sighed in relief, letting your ex walk you out of your Mom’s office. You heard your fingers crack as you clenched your fists when you stepped into the elevator. It was the same elevator you and Rie talked in and you couldn’t help but flinch at the memory.

“How are you feeling? Your father was right, we should see a doctor.” Satoru tucked a strand of hair behind your ear as you pressed your lips together. You suddenly thought of what it’d be like if you were to run into Rie here. If you get stuck in the same room as them, you'd claw your way out of the walls just to run. It’s almost as if your heart was reminding you that he’d never choose you over her.

He’d only choose you if she wasn’t one of the choices. Your lips twitched downwards as you looked away, trying to ignore the pang in your chest.

"What are you thinking about?" He spoke in a soft voice beside you, watching your face in an attempt to read whatever is bugging you. "Nothing important." You took a deep breath, blinking fast as you shook your head. Out of all the times that you've been in this elevator, this is the slowest ride so far. Satoru took a step closer to you and you can tell that he just wants to get out of the building as well by the way he keeps shifting his weight on his two feet. Halfway down, someone got in and you had to force a smile and a greeting as countless thoughts run inside your mind.

The moment the elevator door opened to the lobby, Satoru was already guiding you out. His hand was resting on the small of your back as you tried to look calm even with the quick big strides that you were making. It felt like the building was slowly closing in on you. Like it's starting to get smaller and narrower the longer you stay inside it. You don't know if anyone heard what happened inside your mother's office but you thought that it's best if you avoided everyone's eyes.

You didn't know that among those eyes that are watching you walk down that building with the father of your child are the eyes of a woman whose heart you also ruined. Rie watched from afar as you and Satoru strode past the glass doors before making a turn to where his car was parked, wondering how you are walking so casually with him as if the guy didn't betray your trust and crush your soul.

"That's the boss's daughter. You know her?" The woman dropped the stack of paper in front of her as she shook her head, not wanting to associate herself with Y/N anymore. But Satoru, he still got her heart thumping. Even after he spilled everything to Rie about why he wanted to leave her, she still couldn’t help but hope that maybe he’d come back. Maybe he’s just guilty, maybe he just felt bad for what he did to you.

“Are those the papers I signed earlier? Why are you doing this in the lobby?” Your mother’s voice suddenly boomed behind Rie. Stepping back a bit to the side, she made way for her as she checked the papers. “I was just helping her sort it out, ma’am since I don’t have much work in my hands.” The employee answered, watching the way your mom’s eyes scanned the documents for a bit before they turned to Rie. The woman’s features are strong yet beautiful, they’re nothing similar to yours. It only led Rie to the conclusion that you must look like your father. You look a lot less fierce than your mother. Rie bowed her head a bit when her eyes swept her up and down.

“Oh, it’s you again.” Rie smiled politely, greeting your mother as she turned to face her fully. To be honest, Rie was a bit nervous when talking to her because of how serious she always seemed. She could already tell why you can’t stand living in the same house as her but what Rie couldn’t understand was how you weren’t scared enough to follow every word she says. But then again, parents—no matter how strict they are, have the tendency to spoil their children. And you’re an only child. It’d only make sense if you grew up getting everything you want even just by throwing a bit of a tantrum.

“Do you…” Rie isn’t dumb. She’s aware of the possibility that you might’ve told your mother about her already. The question is: which version did you tell about her? The woman who your boyfriend cheated on you with? Or the woman your ex-boyfriend cheated on with you? Either way, Rie knows that she’s not winning because this is your mom. There’s no way she’d take into consideration that Rie got betrayed too.

“Do you happen to know my daughter?” Your mother continued, almost confirming Rie’s initial thoughts about you telling her your story. “A friend? A former classmate?” She inquired further, doing her best to plaster a friendly smile on her face. She notices how Rie looks so tense just by talking to her. It was a harmless question really, but after talking to so many people all her life, negotiating and sealing deals, your mother could easily read someone’s expressions and actions.

“Not really, ma’am. Just…through an acquaintance. I knew her through an old high school classmate.” Rie smiled, enveloping her right hand with her left just to check the temperature, something she does out of habit when in such situations. She can see your mother nod before her eyebrows scrunched up as if she’s deep in thought, “The doctor?” Your mother tried to guess, referring to Shoko and Rie only nodded, not wanting to drag the conversation long. She’s already uncomfortable around your mother, and she made it worse by asking about you.

“I figured. She helped Y/N a lot when she was at the hospital.” I know that. I was one of the reasons why that happened to your daughter. Rie’s eyebrows furrowed for a second at the thought. She remembered seeing Shoko with your parents in the waiting room when they got there, it felt like everything happened only yesterday. She realized that her romance with Satoru was cut too fast and too short. It still stings but she knows that she’d take him back in an instant if he ever changes his mind.

“So, you know Satoru too? And the tattoo artist.” Rie almost wondered if your mother was a mind-reader. An annoying one. “Y/N said they’re classmates.” She tapped her long nails at the top of the marble table. It sounded like the ticking of the clock and it all felt like a time-gated interview that would cost her something if she didn’t answer on time. She nodded again, avoiding your mother’s eyes as she pursed her lips. She can see her nod from the corners of her eyes.

“Oh well, you guys do what you should be doing. I’ll get going now.” Rie almost let out a sigh of relief as she heard the clacking of her heels fade away into the distance. She can hear her friend giggling as she closedsher eyes, taking a deep breath. She really thought that she was going to confront her about you. Even if she knew that you and your mother were not that close, she’s also aware that your mother would do anything to make sure that you’re not being stepped on.

“You know Miss Y/N?” Her friend asked, placing the papers in front of Rie. “Not personally. The guy with her is an old friend.” Rie followed the direction where your mother went, both curious and scared as to why she’s intrigued by her. “Ah, I see. Miss Y/N’s nice. She only started training and working here a couple of weeks ago.” Shaina smiled at Rie which she returned with a forced one.

“That man’s her ex. But I heard he’s trying to win her back even though he dumped her for someone else not long ago. At least that’s what the rumors here say. Don’t mention it to anyone.” Shaina hushed, eyes darting around to check their surroundings. Rie could only block out all the compliments her friend was saying about you. She doesn’t want to hear it. She doesn’t want to know about your life. She’s still not over everything and to see you looking so okay with Satoru following you around didn’t help at all.

It wasn’t the kindest thought but how else is she going to feel when you’re the reason why she’s hurting? She still regrets letting Satoru go with you that day.

_______________________________________

“Thank you, I’ll just call you when I need something.” You murmured as you reached for your seatbelt before Satoru beat you to it. His brows furrowed at your words, “I can’t leave you, you’re not feeling well. What if something happens to you and the baby?” He slouched in his seat, eyeing you through the rearview mirror. As much as possible, you still try to keep your distance from Satoru, constantly reminding yourself that whatever you’re doing right now is just for the sake of the life that you two made. Nothing more.

You know that what your mother said is not impossible. Being with him can only make you fall back into him.

“I lied. I just wanted to leave.” You told him directly, watching as his mouth slightly opened at your confession. You fidgeted with your fingers before clicking your tongue and reaching for the door. “Are you sure? I can stay with you, my work can wait—” Satoru was cut off when you let out an annoyed sigh as you turned your head to the window. “We don’t live together, Satoru. You stay with me for the baby but that doesn’t mean that you can just go in and out of my flat as you please. You’re not my boyfriend.” You opened the door to step out, ignoring the pained expression on his face.

Satoru had to stare at your back as you walked inside your building, throbbing pain in his chest and a tight feeling in his throat. This wasn’t new to him ever since he tried to win you back but it still hurt. It’s been something that he’s kept in him for so long because he knows that he doesn’t have the right to complain but these days, Suguru has more access to you and your everything than him. It hurts to see that everything that he’s lost is now seemingly making its way to somebody else.

Satoru doesn’t know the depth of what you two share but he’s aware of how deep Suguru’s feelings go for you are. He doesn’t know what happened on all those nights that you were needing him but Suguru was the one beside you. He doesn’t know anything about the two of you anymore and it scared him. It’s like karma biting him back in the ass twice as hard after what he pulled on his best friend five years ago.

“Suguru, you free?” He spoke on the phone, looking again at the number that he unknowingly dialed as he looked at the doors of your apartment building. He hoped that you’d step out of it and take back everything you said and instead ask him if he wanted to stay. He knows that you’re still upset about what happened earlier and Satoru wants nothing but to erase all those thoughts from your mind. But how is he gonna do that when you locked him out?

“I’m about to close the shop, why?” He can hear Suguru doing something in the background. Satoru needs to talk about it all or he’ll end up losing his mind. If he finds out anything that would destroy him then he’d let it destroy him. It’d be unfair if he were to counter it when he’s the one who caused it. He’s left with no other option but to stay quiet and understand.

“Let’s go out for a drink. Y/N’s mad at me.” Satoru chuckled at the ache in his chest. It’s not the ‘You annoy me’ type of mad but the ‘I can’t stand being in the same place as you.’ type of mad that you’re feeling for him. It’s agonizing to think that the person who used to love him with all her heart and more is now closing herself away from him.

He can’t blame you for wanting to protect yourself from him.

“She always is.” The sound of the door slamming shut can be heard from Suguru’s line and Satoru took it as a cue to start his car again. “Alright, let’s just meet there, send me the place.” Suguru continued and Satoru could only hum, and thank him for agreeing. He quickly sent him a message before proceeding to drive. It was a cold and silent war the two of you are going through. Satoru has his white flag raised high but still, he continues to charge toward you, wanting nothing but to be on the same side as you again.

Reaching the pub, Satoru was thinking of how to ask the question in his head without aggravating the other. It’s been there for weeks now, and now that he’s seeing that his situation with you is not improving at all, he knew he had to talk to his friend. There are times when you’d call Suguru when he’s around and he feels like a third wheel; like he’s listening in on a conversation spoken in a language that the two of you understand.

He asked Shoko about it already but the only answer that he got was “We stayed with her when you were gone.” but it was never about Suguru alone. She’s the on who suggested Satoru talk to the two of you but he doesn’t want to stress you with that. If there’s something that you aren’t telling him, then it’s fine. He won’t force you to tell him, like you said, you’re only letting him in because of the baby.

“Hey,” He tapped Suguru’s shoulder as he walked by him to sit on the other side. He looked around, licking his lips as he nodded, thankful that it wasn’t as crowded as he expected it to be. He still doesn’t know how to talk to Suguru about this. Hell, he doesn’t even know why he was so insistent on knowing about it. It’s not like it would change anything. A positive and negative response is just equal at this point.

“How’s Y/N?” Suguru pulled up his sleeve, leaning on his elbow as he pushed the drink he ordered for his friend. He’s got a feeling that this hang-out isn’t just for catching up. Eyeing his best friend and his stance, he could tell that he was about to ask him something. Spending more time with you brought you, him, and Shoko closer together; him especially. You were close before but now, it feels as if he’s seen everything already. In a span of two months, you made him feel as if he’s been missing you his whole life.

It was like you were making up for the lost time that he was supposed to be with you.

“She’s doing good. I just dropped her home.” Satoru scratched his head as he chuckled mirthlessly before proceeding, “She locked me out again.” He shook his head, before looking up to meet Suguru’s eyes. He can tell that he feels sorry for him. He’s looking at him with sympathy, probably thinking if he should tell him words of comfort or just say ‘you had it coming.’ But instead, he just sighed and took a gulp of his drink.

“You know it’s not going to be easy.” Suguru shook his head, leaning back as he traced the body of his glass, there was a short moment of silence before Satoru’s deep intake of breath cut through it, “I don’t even know if it’s gonna work.” Suguru felt bad for his friend. He knows that what he did was wrong and the damage he had caused to you may be beyond repair but the way he’s dedicating his everything just to be with you again when there is no certainty is undeniably admirable.

“You’re gonna ask me something,” Suguru stated rather than ask. It only made Satoru smile, chuckling as he nodded his head signaling that Suguru’s assumption was right. Suguru doesn’t plan on lying about anything. You two already talked about what happened, you didn’t try to deny it or even ignore it. If anything, the day after that, you both opened it up to each other.

“It wasn’t a mistake, I know what I was doing.” You plopped down on your couch in front of him as he tried to predict what you were thinking. Suguru was aware too but the thing about intoxication is you don’t really have enough control over your body. Especially when you’re hurting. And also when he’s pining. Your desire to forget and his suppressed feelings for you were intensified by the alcohol and that’s why it happened.

“Look, I know what I did was wrong-” He started, leaning his elbow on his knees as he heard you sigh, clicking your tongue as you put down your cup. “Stop blaming yourself, I let it happen too.” You closed your eyes, thinking of how it would affect Satoru when he finds out. Sure, he cheated on you. And yes, you’re not together anymore but Suguru is still his best friend. Betrayal is betrayal and no matter how fast you try to run away from it, you know that its consequences are bound to catch up to you— even if you weren’t intentionally trying to hurt him when something happened between you and Suguru—if you don’t fail to make things right..

“If he asks you about it, don’t lie.” You swallowed, rubbing the back of your neck with your hand. “I’d tell him about it, I just have to figure out how.” You added and it only made Suguru wonder if you’d take it all the way with him if he asked you to. He wondered if you’d agree to be with him if he told you how he feels for you. But he won’t. He already feels like he took advantage of you because of what happened. Acting on his selfish feelings will only prove how bad of a friend he is to Satoru and to you.

“Look, I’m sorry. I was less drunk, I should’ve—” Another click of your tongue made Suguru stop yet again. You sighed as you stared at him, shaking your head, “I told you not to blame yourself. I initiated it.” You reminded him, but it only made him feel more guilty, thinking that he should’ve never given in. No matter how much control he lost over himself. As if that was an easy thing.

“I was thinking of telling him about it already, you know?” You sighed, fiddling with your fingers as you recalled your thoughts earlier before you and Suguru decided to talk. “But I realized, it’s not like we started dating. And it’s not like he’s still my boyfriend either.” You explained, glancing up at him just to see his reaction because you’re not really sure if you’re making sense. “But then again, he’s still your friend. It’d be even more disrespectful if we tried to hide it from him. We’re gonna have to tell him about it soon.”

Suguru nodded as he looked at you, your eyes glued on the carpeted floors as worry and disappointment became more prominent in your features with each passing second. Suguru knows that Satoru is more than curious about what happened while he was gone. His ex-girlfriend spent time with his best friend almost every day. If Suguru was in his place, he’d probably worry about it too. It’s not like there was no trust in their friendship. But knowing that your best friend used to harbor feelings for your ex-girlfriend, and probably still does, is something that could create such thoughts.

The plan to confess everything to Satoru didn’t change, but your pregnancy happened and all of a sudden it’s the least important thing. So many things were changing and taking place that your initial plan to talk to Satoru got buried under them all. Suguru can almost see the consequences of that negligence right now.

“You still have feelings for Y/N?” He asked casually as if he wasn’t bouncing his leg up and down under the table due to anxiousness. He took a big gulp of his drink, preparing himself for whatever answer he may get. Satoru promised himself that he wouldn’t start a fight. That’s why he chose this space, thinking that maybe it could help him keep his emotions in check. But obviously, Suguru knows him better than that.

“I’m going out for a smoke. We should talk outside.” He stood up from his seat, not waiting for Satoru as he pulled out a packet of cigarettes. Satoru stared at the back of his head as he followed like he was trying to read his thoughts, desperate for answers as the long walk to the parking lot burned his patience. Suguru went to the farthest end, near the fence where no one could hear them. Had Satoru known that he’d be like this about it, he would’ve met him somewhere else instead.

“Why won’t you just say it to me? Something happened, right?” Satoru clenched his teeth as he watched Suguru pause his movements before putting the cigarette packet back in his pants. He couldn’t even bother to smoke now that he can feel his best friend’s rising temper. He wanted to protect Satoru’s feelings and you from whatever he might say or do if Suguru admits the truth. But it was like he can almost hear your voice, reminding him to just say the truth instead of stacking up the lies.

“Yeah.” Satoru’s hand clenched as he looked away, swallowing away his wrath as the images of you and Suguru doing it in the bed you once shared played before his eyes. Did you think like this when he was away with Rie too? It’s driving him insane. The thought of it, the idea of it was squeezing his heart, shattering his very core as strings of whispered curses rushed past his lips. Satoru can almost hear your voice calling out Suguru’s name and he can already taste the blood in his mouth.

“When?” Satoru tried to keep his voice calm but failed. There was a big difference in the lighthearted tone of his voice from when he was talking inside the bar to now. “How and why did it happen?” Every word that comes out of his mouth keeps getting louder but Satoru cannot control it. Not when the thoughts of someone else making you feel the same way he did was racing inside his head. “I know I’m not her boyfriend anymore, but what the fuck, Suguru?”

Satoru was panting as he spoke the last part. He can hear his teeth grinding against each other as he clenches them. He waited for his friend to answer, patiently and then, impatiently. He doesn’t know when he grabbed his shoulders to turn him around, quickly grabbing his collar to pull him harshly. Satoru’s eyes were blown wide as he breathed heavily, eyes full of anger, hurt, betrayal, disappointment, and frustration.

“It happened sometime after you tried to get back with Y/N. She was drunk and I was too.” Suguru started, eyebrows furrowed as he remained unmoving even as Satoru’s grip on his shirt got tighter. He’d seen this coming. Of course, he’d get angry. Finding out that your ex did something like that with your best friend is revolting. Some may even consider it unforgivable. Suguru is in the wrong this time and he’s got no plans but to own up to them. No matter how shitty Satoru treated Y/N, he still doesn’t deserve this betrayal.

“And you never told me? I asked you multiple times if there’s something going on between the two of you.” Satoru’s teeth started to tingle from how hard he was clenching his jaw and grinding his molars together. It was starting to get painful and he could feel his hands get colder as his knuckles started to feel numb from the friction with the fabric of his friend's shirt.

“I’m sorry—” Suguru was cut off by a punch from Satoru as he briefly let go of his shirt before pulling him back again, slamming his body against his as he let out all his frustrations through his words, shaking his friend as he glowered at him with bloodshot eyes, red with anger and the strain from fighting back his tears. Suguru couldn’t bring himself to punch back but instead just let his friend shake an answer out of him.

“Did you plan this?”, “Is this Y/N’s way of getting back to me?”, “Will you ever tell me if I didn’t ask?” The questions kept pushing their way out of Satoru’s lungs, taking his breath away with them, and leaving him panting. “What did you do? Tell me everything.” Satoru glared directly at Suguru who was now wiping the blood off his chin. His eyebrows furrowed as he hung his head down in shame.

“I…I touched her.” Suguru started but was quickly cut off by Satoru’s growl, “How?” He tried to steady his breaths as he took a step away from his best friend as if controlling himself not to throw another hit on him for the sake of the answers that he was trying to get out of him. It was hard. Especially when the images of the woman you love being pleasured by someone else keep flickering before your eyes.

“We didn’t do it, Satoru. I touched her but she didn’t touch me. I left before something worse could happen—” Curses flew out of Satoru’s mouth as if Suguru just gave him the dumbest explanation ever. “You think that changes anything?” He chuckled bitterly, his eyes are now more sad than angry. Satoru shook his head, mouth twitching as he backed away, letting go of Suguru’s shirt.

“Were you just waiting for me to fuck up before you pull some shit like this?” Satoru chuckled, looking at Suguru like he just caught up on his plans but Suguru knew that it was nonexistent. What happened between the two of you just happened. He’d never plot something like this against his friend. He’d never thought of it. No matter how much he wanted you, he never wished ill about your and Satoru’s relationship.

“I wouldn’t do that to you—” Suguru was once again interrupted when Satoru grabbed his shirt again, with both hands this time. “But you did! You know how vulnerable she was!” Suguru flinched, his brows pulling together as he let his friend let all his anger out. He cannot blame Satoru for thinking that way. Suguru knows damn well that anyone who’d hear the story would think that he took advantage of you and the situation you were going through.

“Did you think it would make her love you? Did you think that after all these years, that’s all it would take to make her love you?” It was painful to hear those words because Suguru knows the answer to them. Not once has he and Satoru talked about their feelings for you even if it was not a secret to them and Shoko. “Don’t think that just because I fucked up, you can love her more than I do. You cannot take my place, Suguru. You weren’t even able to get her back then when we weren’t together, what makes you think you’d get her now?”

It was now Suguru’s turn to throw a strong punch at his friend, sending him staggering backward. To get angry at him for the betrayal that he did was one thing but to bring up the past that he was struggling to forget every day was another. Thoughts of what ifs and what could’ve been haunted him from the moment he gave you away. And to hear about it now is just another bullet in his heart. The first sentences were hurtful enough even though he knows that he deserved it.

“You know why she never fell for me!” Suguru spat back, panting as he stopped himself from throwing another punch. He should be the one being beaten because of what he did but he just can’t let it go. He’s been keeping it all to himself for the sake of his friendship with Satoru and you. Suguru decided that if he was going to remind him of it then, he might as well repeat to him why he got you too.

“I loved her first!” Suguru shouted, finally letting go of all the words that he’s been dying to say. In all those moments that you were with him, in every tear that he wipes away from your eyes part of him regrets just giving up on you. He couldn’t count how many times he wondered if surrendering was the right choice he made.

“I really like Y/N, you know?” Satoru threw the small pebble across the road, letting it tumble on the hot pavement before coming to a stop under the streetlight as it hit its pole. To be honest, Suguru doesn’t know how to respond to him and that’s why he kept quiet, waiting for Satoru to say more about his feelings for you. Suguru can already feel how complicated it would be if he told him his.

“And you do, too. Right?” Satoru chuckled, elbowing his side. Suguru looked at him, there was nothing but seriousness on his face. He can’t find it in himself to laugh when he’s aware of how profound his emotions toward you are. And knowing his friend, Satoru might downplay a lot of things but Suguru knows him too much to not understand the underlying meaning of his statements.

“I…” Suguru heard the air passing through his teeth as he inhaled sharply, Suguru didn’t like how he hesitated to tell him the story as if it was something so big of a deal. Satoru is a man who speaks his mind, so for him to pause before saying something to Suguru made him feel like he was about to open up about a serious topic.

“We…something happened between Y/N and I.” Satoru sounded very steady as he let the sentence flow out of his mouth. Like it’s something he’s been rehearsing just to tell Suguru. “Look, I’m not trying to one-up you or anything. It just happened, we were hanging out and you were busy.” Satoru turned his body to him. All of a sudden everything was just quiet. The distant sound of cars speeding down the empty street in the middle of the night was loud even if it was out of sight.

“You know I was trying to pursue her,” Suguru replied, sighing heavily as he untied his shoes just to do something with his hands. He felt helpless after what Satoru said and he was already subconsciously admitting his defeat. Satoru shifted beside him, running a hand through his hair as he shook his head slowly, making Suguru chuckle.

“I…You never told me. You didn’t tell her either. It was never confirmed, how am I supposed to know?” Satoru doesn’t want to ruin his friendship with Suguru. He had a feeling that he liked Y/N more than others but he didn’t think that he was that serious about it. He cannot find it in himself to let you slip away too.

“Look, It wasn’t intentional. Had I known that you feel like that for her I would’ve—” Satoru turned his body to Suguru, stopping himself when he saw his best friend looking down. With his lips pursed, Suguru turned to Satoru. He was expecting him to have an angry look on his face, a look of betrayal. Satoru wanted him to be mad at him for being so careless with his feelings but Suguru just smiled at him. A light chuckle escaped his lips as he stood up, tapping Satoru’s shoulder in the process.

“It’s cool. I’ll get over it.” His hand instinctively reached out for the lighter in his pocket, pulling it out to play with it as silence took over everything. “Just…make her happy. Don’t play with her, Satoru.” Suguru glanced at him briefly over his shoulders. Satoru could only sigh as he watched Suguru’s back. He knows that Suguru is a nice guy, but he can’t help but feel like he should’ve been more observant of how he treated you.

“I know you’re thinking about giving way, Satoru. You can’t do that. It’ll only get awkward for the three of us; especially for Y/N, you know?” It took everything in him to make the conversation sound as light as it can be; in contrast with the heavy feeling in his chest—almost as if he was being dragged down by the ground. Almost as if it’s wanting to swallow him whole.

Happy crushes shouldn’t feel like this.

Just like back then, Satoru couldn’t answer. He doesn’t know what to say when his best friend just slapped him with the truth that’s been lurking in his shadows all this time. He knows that he’s got no business talking about how Suguru wouldn’t get you when the only reason that kept him away from you was Satoru. Had his best friend not held back from you before, would you be stuck with him now? It’s almost as if it was a butterfly effect. Things wouldn’t be like this now if you were with the better man.

Satoru wouldn’t want to hear that from you, though. He doesn’t want to hear you regret not noticing his best friend first when he could’ve been the better option for you. Satoru would only get this selfish with you. Even when he doesn’t have the right to. It’s just too painful to think about how he’d probably never be enough for all the love that you are ready to give. He’s not worthy of it but that doesn’t mean that he wouldn’t work for years just to be deserving of it.

“Don’t tell me that you love her more, you’ve done too much to convince me of that,” Suguru added, wiping the corner of his mouth as he panted, calming himself down. To be perfectly honest, he was already over it all. He wasn’t praying for his best friend to fuck up just to get a chance with you. He loves you but he’s way past the stage of being jealous of Satoru. But it’d be a lie if he said he never wished it was him to sleep next to you during the first months of your relationship.

He just slowly got over it. Realizing that seeing you every day, smiling and fine is enough for him. Realizing that he’d be able to be close to you, to look after you, even as a friend is enough for him. But they were right. It’s easy to fall back in love with someone you already loved before—very easy.

Because if it’s not, he wouldn’t be putting his heart on the line, the moment Satoru messed with you. He wouldn’t be holding your hand as you fall asleep beside him at night, with tears streaming down your face as you whimper your heartbreaker’s name. He wouldn’t be breaking his barriers just to make sure you’re getting all the attention you need even if it means crushing his own heart again. Suguru isn’t dumb. He knows that you don’t plan on getting into anything serious with him but that became fine for him too. A sad reality that he woke up to every day but is only accepting today.

You only wanted the comfort and kindness that he gave you. But you never wanted his everything as you did with Satoru. Like he did with you.

You just didn’t want to be lonely, and he just happened to be there with you.

“I know I’m wrong, Satoru. It was a moment of weakness, what else can I do?” Suguru muttered, jaw clenching as his nails dug into his palm. “Bringing up the past wouldn’t fix it. I don’t even know how to make this shit up to you.” His voice almost broke at the last part.

Satoru just stood there, looking at him as a single tear rolled down to his chin. He quickly ran a hand through his face, sighing violently as he looked away from Suguru. It’s like a crash from the wrath that he was feeling earlier. It still hurts. Knowing about what happened that night is a thorn in his heart. Something that he wouldn’t bother to pull out even if it killed him—even if he was stepped on too.

Because if one looks closely and traces all the events that had happened and are happening now, he would always be the main cause.

It was his actions that led everything and all of you to this mess. Suguru watches as Satoru straightens his posture, running a hand through his hair as his lips quiver ever so slightly. “Was Y/N planning to tell me the truth?” Satoru spoke, turning to his right as his eyes looked straight ahead. There was nothing but sorrow in his light blue eyes as he bit his inner lip.

“Yes. It’s been bothering her but she cannot find the right time.” Satoru sighed loudly, nodding slowly as he slightly turned his head to look at the ground between him and Suguru. “Don’t stress her out because of this, if you’re mad just take it out on me,” Suguru added, worried that Satoru might confront you about it. “And don’t suspect her of anything else, Satoru. You know she wouldn’t do something like that.”

“She’s pregnant with my child, what makes you think I’d do that to her?” Satoru emphasizes the term of possession. As if trying to prove something with it, when in reality, that’s just him reassuring himself. He’s agitated by the fact that Suguru could tell where his accusations are going. He pushed them all aside, not wanting to think like that about you.

“I know what’s good and bad for her,” Satoru added quietly, too drained to start anything again anymore. Suguru could only watch as Satoru walked away from him, quick to find his car and eager to go back to you.

—---------------------------

Three knocks at the door made Y/N’s eyes widen in shock as she looked back at it. Turning off the stove, she trudged towards the door but not before peeking through the hole. Seeing the father of the growing child in her womb, she opened the door. Her blank face faltered at the obvious redness of Satoru’s eyes.

“Why?” Y/N questioned but still stepped aside to let the man in. Satoru sighed at the warm air inside the room. It’s always warm near Y/N. He thought letting the comforting atmosphere that he was feeling despite the cold welcome that you gave him. It’s like he’s already contented to know that you are still letting him around you, to be near you even after all that he’s done. Maybe you’re only doing it for the sake of your baby but it still made Satoru hopeful.

“Nothing. I had a few drinks. Are you cooking?” Satoru gave a small smile as he stepped inside, peering at the kitchen as he changed the topic. He knows that you noticed but he can’t have you stressing about anything now. It’s not easy to hide the evidence of how much he poured his feelings out while he drove. Stopping at the dimly lit parts of the street just because he can’t see anything in front of him.

“Yeah.” You closed the door, not taking your eyes off of him as he walked to your kitchen, removing his jacket on his way to place it on the couch. Your eyes followed the clothing, staring at it blankly for a few seconds, before shaking your head, blinking as you snapped the thoughts out of your head.

“Why are you here?” You walked to the kitchen, seeing him turn the stove on again. He glanced at you briefly before focusing on the dish again. “I figured you’d probably want something to eat.” He took a deep breath, trying to think of a way to sound collected. “I was thinking about calling you to ask if you want something but you don’t like fast food nowadays, right?” He smiled at you, tapping the spatula on the lip of the pan.

“M-hm.” You hummed pulling a chair out to sit, “Where were you?” You reached over to grab the apple sitting inside the basket in the middle of your kitchen table. You heard the stove turn off before Satoru laughed lightly, “I went drinking with Suguru after he closed his shop. Just a light drink.” His hand brushed your shoulder in a soothing manner as he walked behind you, grabbing a plate.

“Why? Did you miss me?” He teased as he tried to carefully put the food on the plate before putting it in front of you. You scoffed, “You wish.” You grabbed the spoon and fork that he was handing out to you, hearing him chuckle. He continued to move around your kitchen, placing a tall glass on the table as he poured you some orange juice. You chewed your food as you watched the vibrant color fill the transparent glass.

“Did he miss me?” He asked you, making you look up at him. He was staring at you with eyes softer than before. There was a hint of tiredness behind it but the glimmer of affection is what made you sigh. “He?” You raised your eyebrow after swallowing, giving him a small smirk as you stood up to grab the glass in front of him. “What makes you so sure that it’s a he?” You sat back down, rubbing your stomach as you gave a small smile. Thinking about it now, you’re excited to find out if the baby is a boy or a girl.

“I just feel it.” He shook his head, holding back his smile. “What if we get twins?” You looked down, voicing out your thoughts as you got lost in your head, thinking about how you’ll buy little clothes and shoes for your little one and how you’ll paint a room and decorate it. In the corner of your eye, you could see Satoru pulling out the chair beside you. You looked at him to see him leaning his head on his hand, watching you in awe.

“That sounds nice.” He breathed out, feeling lightheaded because of the growing intensity of his feelings for you. Just when he thought that it couldn’t get any stronger, you showed him that there’s always more of you to love. Satoru prayed in his mind, talking to the heavens above that one day he could call you his again.

“We should think of a nickname, you know?” His hand slowly reached out, caressing your stomach as you put down your utensils. His hand is warm and it almost made you forget all the events and thoughts that you experienced earlier. There was comfort in his touch as you turned to your side to give him more access.

Satoru knelt down in front of you, placing both of his large hands on your tummy. He looked up at you, watching your eyes for a moment before scooting closer until he was in between your thighs. He let out a long sigh before pressing his forehead on your stomach.

“Mama and Dada will be fine.” He whispered quietly and you almost didn’t catch it. He sounds so vulnerable, so miserable. He’s always sounded like that but this time there was more pain lacing his voice. He kissed your stomach, letting his lips rest there for a couple of seconds before completely wrapping his arms around your waist, pressing the side of his face against you. He was like a child, looking for solace.

And so you reached your hand to his hair, running your fingers through it as you feel him pull you closer. You let your hand run down the back of his neck to his shoulders and back. He looked up at you with glassy eyes. You almost got worried when he suddenly gave you a small smile. Was he so happy that he started to tear up? You thought, feeling the warmth spread on your chest.

Without noticing, your hands gently moved from his shoulder blades to his face, cupping his cheeks as your traced his jaw. His eyes closed, leaning into your touch, holding your hand in place as he savored the feeling. When was the last time that you were this affectionate with him? He missed it so much that he almost felt like crying again.

All his questions and sentiments from earlier are now gone and replaced by the longing feeling in his chest. It has been so long that he almost forgot how good it felt to be held in your arms. This is what he’s been craving all this time. Before he ruined everything, this was how you touched him. He settled for someone else’s touch, having forgotten how loved he feels with you.

If you give up on getting what feels right for you, you’ll end up having to make do with what is available to you.

Realizing all of this now made Satoru think that he has had that “It’s not really what I want but it works.” moment in his life with Rie. “Can I sleep here tonight?” He asked you, enveloping your hand in his. They were cold and you wouldn’t miss the slight tremble in his flesh. You don’t exactly know what happened but you got an idea of what he talked about with Suguru while drinking. You let your teeth dig in the skin of your lips as you bit it. Guilt and shame crawling up your throat. You feel bad about it, even more now that you can almost feel Satoru’s body begging to stay near you.

“I’ll just sleep on the couch. Please.” Satoru needs it. He needs to know that you’re with him. Even if not with your whole heart, Satoru needs to know that he’s not as helpless as he really feels when it comes to you. He needs to know that there’s still a little bit of hope that he could cling to.

“It’s fine.” You murmured, letting him kiss your knuckles as he whispered ‘thank you’s’ on them. “Are you hungry? I’m sorry, I’ll let Mama eat now. ” He spoke to your stomach again, making you laugh a little. You wanted to snap at him when he showed up at your door unannounced but all of that is gone now.

He stood up and sat on the chair letting you eat in comfortable silence as he softly spoke of his plans for your baby. It’s like he’s had it all thought out and listed. Even when you were still dating, you didn’t think that he’d be this excited. It made you wonder if everything could’ve been prevented had your pregnancy happened earlier in your relationship.

On the other hand, it made you scared; not for yourself but for your child. If you had your baby earlier and those events still happened, you wouldn’t know what to do. Would Satoru do that if he already had a kid with you? It made your guts churn as the stinging throb in your chest made it harder for you to swallow.

Time flew by, faster than it usually does. Maybe it’s because of Satoru’s head on your chest as his hand caressed your lower stomach, whispering gently to the growing life inside you. You didn’t have it in you to deny him or push him off. Not when you can hear all his pain in his voice. You know that your mother’s statements about your relationship with Satoru isn’t entirely impossible but you’re giving it your all not to spiral down again for the sake of your child.

When the morning came, you woke up to the smell coming from your kitchen. The sky looks kind as the rising sun shone a gentle light on your windows. You rubbed your eyes, wondering why Satoru’s up so early. You can’t even remember how you fell asleep last night. The last thing you remember was the warm touch of lips against your forehead, paired with the light touch of his hand on your tummy.

You were about to get up and wash your face when the door to your bedroom opened slowly. The creaking sound halted your movements as Satoru peeked in, smiling before letting himself in when he saw you awake. “I was going to ask you if you feel like having your breakfast here. I know you were not a fan of breakfasts in bed.” He chuckled, closing the door carefully before walking to you.

“Still not a fan of it.” You laughed as you stood up, stretching. Satoru pushed your hair back, away from your face. You sighed as you closed your eyes, your eyelids still heavy from your slumber. You heard Satoru chuckle, pulling you to him and letting you rest your head on his chest. It felt like all tthe tension from the other was just leaving your body today. You mentally thanked yourself for letting Satoru sleep over. The way his palm rubbed up and down your back soothed you. “Let’s go eat. This little bean is hungry.” You ushered, pulling him out of the room.

You spent your breakfast taking small glances at Satoru, occasionally catching him staring lovingly at you, something he never bothered to hide or deny whenever you ask him why. There was more than enough food for two people but you didn’t mind, given the increase in your appetite.

“Just leave the plates on the table. I’ll be washing them.” He spoke to you as he poured more milk in your glass. You hummed, thanking him as he passed it to you. Satoru changed a lot ever since he found out about your pregnancy. When he’s working, he texts you ever hour just to ask if you need anything. You remember how annoyed you were during the first few weeks. You still get annoyed sometimes but not right now when he’s literally serving you like a queen.

“You’ve been doing so much already. This is my house.” You spoke to him, setting down the half empty glass of milk in front of you. Satoru’s back is facing you as he washed the plates. His arms was on full display in his tank tops and you can’t help but notice how his muscles flexed everytime he moved. You took a deep breath, reminded yourself that it’s just because of pregnancy hormones and picked up your phone to distract yourself before he could he even glance back at you to answer.

“And that is my child. I’m not letting you do anything if I could do it for you.” His answer made you laugh. He wiped his hand as he completely turned to you, watching you throw your head back. Satoru wished that it would always be like this. He doesn’t care if you won’t give him answers to his questions, he just want you to be this happy even when he’s around.

“You got a point.” You drank the rest of the milk in your glass as he pulled the chair in front of you. “Let me get you a new place.” He spoke suddenly, making you look up from your phone. “It has to be more spacious than this one so the child can run around or play.” Satoru wanted to offer to buy a home for the three of you, but he doesn’t know how you’d react to that, considering that you only want him around for the baby.

“I can get one. I have savings.” You heard him sigh softly, pursing his lips as he shook his head. “I can’t let you do that.” Satoru got used to picking the words when talking to you. He understands that you’re very sensitive nowadays and he knows that he can’t afford to have you lashing out and locking him out of your apartment again.

“Why not? It’s fine by me. I’ll be living there too.” You tried to reason, surprisingly calmer than how Satoru thought you’d be. “You won’t let me sleep over?” Satoru tried lifting the mood a bit, the small smile in his lips caused you to smile too. “No. What if you bring your girlfriend? I don’t want her near my child.” You narrowed your eyes playfully at him and now, it’s his turn to laugh at your little drama.

“Who said I’m getting a girlfriend?” He threw his head back like you just said the funniest joke on Earth. “It’s not impossible!” You defended yourself, letting a small frown take over your features as he leaned forward to watch your face before speaking again, “I’m determined about trying to make it work with you. I won’t get a girlfriend, Y/N.” There was a tone of assurance in his voice and for some reason it calmed you down.

“There’s no guarantee to that. What if someone comes along? There’s no way to stop yourself from falling for someone.” You talked more seriously to him, leaning back on your chair and thinking about how it would be if Satoru were to have someone in his life. You don’t like it. You don’t like how the thoughts are making you feel. Maybe it’s because you don’t want your child having to fight for his attention or maybe it’s because you don’t like the idea of your child spending time with Satoru’s new girlfriend instead of you.

What if your child becomes closer to them than you? There was an image of them walking away from you in your head and it felt like someone was squeezing your heart. You thought about how his new girlfriend could make your child feel like they were his whole, real and happy family. Then your child would probably feel like it’s better to be with them than alone with you and you don’t know if you could take that.

“Hey. I know what you’re thinking, it’s not going to happen.” Satoru’s hand felt warm against yours but you couldn’t help but snatch it away, furrowing your brows at him, truly annoyed this time. “I don’t care if it does, but my baby is mine.” You clenched your teeth before leaving the kitchen and slamming your bedroom door.

Satoru just sighed, finally used to how fast your mood can change. You’d probably come out later when you’re hungry and if you don’t Satoru’s already ready to prepare whatever your cravings to lure you out. A couple of minutes later, his phone started to ring and he was grateful that it was only Shoko. He doesn’t know how he’d talk to Suguru again after what happened.

“How’s Y/N?” Shoko immediately spoke when he answered, “I know about what happened yesterday. It’s not the best season to ask Y/N.” She quickly added and Satoru nodded like she could see him before answering, “I didn’t tell her, I won’t. Don’t worry about that. And she’s fine. She just walked out on me while we were having a conversation, probably thought herself into a bad mood again.”

“Thought herself into a bad mood? You just said that you were having a conversation. It must be something you said.” There was a hint of protectiveness in Shoko’s tone and Satoru bit his lip and closed his eyes. “We were talking about the possibility of me getting a girlfriend and I tried to assure her that I wouldn’t because I’m still hoping to work things out with her. Then, she probably thought about all the ways that it could affect the child and got angry.” He explained with a heavy sigh and a scratch on his head.

“That’s valid, though.” Shoko spoke from the other end and Satoru hummed, “Yeah, I understand. I just gotta think about how to put her mind at rest about those kinds of things.” He stood up to put away and wash the glass that you left on the table. After that, Satoru could only hum and agree to all the things that Shoko was advising him, knowing that it’s all for your good.

“I’ll drop by her apartment some time. My schedule’s kinda getting better. Tell her I said hi.” Shoko said before saying goodbye. Satoru could almost see her with a cigarette hanging between her lips from the way she sounded.

Satoru bit his upper lip as he leaned on the kitchen counter. He’s been thinking about going back to your mother’s office to apologize for all that has happened until now. He wants to let them know that he’s sure and resolute about getting you back again. He knows that your parents don’t trust him, but he’s determined to change that; not only through his words but also his actions. He wants to do all that he can just to prove it to you and to them.

_______________________________________

Two Weeks Later

“How many meetings do I have left for today?” Your mother asked her assistant as she struts out of the business partner’s building, completely ignoring all the greetings and bows that she was getting as she fixed her earring. “Three meetings, ma’am. I already moved the two from tomorrow afternoon to today, and the overseas meeting is the only one left for tomorrow.” The girl beside her spoke, making her nod as they walked past the glass doors to the car waiting for them.

“Good. It’s because I doubt we’d get back in time if the first one’s an overseas flight. The traffic sucks.” Your mother uttered as her secretary closed the car door. She has been worried about you ever since that day in her office. Her husband’s words only made her think about it more. She knows that she was harsh to you, but she’d never forgive herself if something happened to you or your child.

Your mother doesn’t like showing you how she really feels whenever you get yourself in trouble. She’d rather have you thinking that you have to pull your own tail if you mess up than thinking that you got someone to cover up for the mistakes that you make. You’re already independent, now she can see that you’re also trying to be responsible for your actions.

She was about to get her phone and send you a text just as the car started to move, but only a few shops away from the building that they just came out of, a familiar white hair caught her attention. “Slow down for a bit.” She commanded the driver who instantly obeyed, watching from the rearview mirror as your mother tried to get a clear view of the outside.

It’s Satoru, in front of an establishment, appearing to be waiting for someone as he typed away on his phone. Is he meeting with you? Friends? Maybe business matters. Your mother thought, leaning back, contemplating if she should tell her driver to keep moving or step out for a bit just to greet him. And of course, to ask about her daughter too. Your mother has already decided about greeting him when a girl rushed to Satoru, grabbing his arm as she stood close to him. Too close for comfort. Yet, he doesn’t seem fazed.

Your mother’s eyes narrowed at the sight. It was the girl that you went after in her office, the errand girl. She knew that she’s not just an interesting woman to you. And she’s definitely not just an acquaintance of Satoru. Not by the way he pulled her away from plain sight to a more hidden spot in between the buildings.

“Move the car forward a bit. Don’t let those two spot us.” Your mother spoke sternly to the driver, not taking his eyes away from Satoru who is now facing the woman again. It made your mother’s blood boil. Even with his back turned to your mother, she could see how the tip of the woman’s shoe is almost touching his and her hands still gripping his arm. Now, that is not how close you stand to your acquaintances.

She tried to search for her phone in her bag but she couldn’t afford to take her eyes away from the enraging scene in front of her. “Hey, you.” She hurriedly tapped her assistant’s shoulder multiple times, “Film it.” She ordered as she gave a bit of space for her. The girl quickly pulled out her phone and did her best to get a clear shot of the two.

There’s no way in hell that I’d let you fool my daughter again.

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saerotonins · 4 months

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tied red strings of fate

ft. gojo satoru x gn!reader

request: omg .. tadhana by udd + satoru please ?

content warnings: fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, jjk manga spoilers [ch 236], canon divergent, implied that reader knows about curses but is not a sorcerer, lowkey a character analysis but yeah, happy ending

wc: 1283

note: when i saw this request i was so happy because tadhana* is literally one of my fave opm classics! also, im sorry nonnie if this was long overdue, figured i'd give him some fluff at his death "anniversary" heh (albeit a little late). i miss our glorious king sm :(( happy holidays 🎀

song: tadhana-up dharma down

*tadhana=destiny

gojo satoru is a force to be reckoned with. his name rings a bell and brings shivers to the spine of any potential enemies he has.

he's gojo satoru, the strongest of all, the holy grail of jujutsu sorcery. he's gojo satoru, whose power literally repels and divides everyone else and him.

but to you, he's a lover, a man of his own, an independent being who is capable of emotions. he's satoru. the love of your life.

so when he decided to call it quits, to say you were devastated is an understatement. you were left broken, calling out his name at night hoping he would appear in front of you just one, for closure. him closing the chapter of your book got you weeping and yearning for more of him.

because even though he's your lover, even you have a hard time of catching a glimpse of who he really is. satoru is an open book, but he's hard to understand. you did all your best to ease him and make him open up, show more of himself to you, bare his truth, the good, the bad, and the ugly, all of them you're willing to accept.

alas, the universe has other plans, the challenge ended even before it began, he is most definitely an enigma, someone that you will probably never get to solve. satoru's backed turned against you was a sight you are never going to forget. you spent months moving on and try to live a life where he isn't yours. it's hard but you try to manage anyway.

so when a knock on your door was heard by the 31st of december, you didn't expect gojo satoru in his full glory standing before you. as shocked as you are, you see his eyes had sunken. he's beyond exhausted but when he sees you, his eyes lighten up and you feel the warmth of his arms and your feet off the floor. you miss this, you miss him, it was all so familiar and something you very much miss. every fiber of your being remembered the way he touched you, triggered by the way his hands gripped onto your waist for dear life. as confused as you are, you reciprocated his gesture, opting to rest your hand on his shoulder blades.

"satoru?" you managed to voice our before you feel him put you down but his embrace remain. he then rests his head on the crook of your neck, then you hear him sniffle. suddenly you feel something drop onto your skin. his tears slowly roll from his face to your neck and shoulders.

satoru's lips wobbles as he tries to contain himself but to know avail, he lets his cries out, deciding to bare himself to you and be vulnerable. he was so so so tired of fighting. as great as the title 'the strongest' sounds, it gets too lonely even for him. being on the top is lonely. and he knows it himself.

he'd rather fall from grace than live a life where he isn't yours. he was too late to realize it. he was so stupid, too cocky, too condescending that it took him facing death before realizing that he wants to live, just for you. so when he finally defeats the evils of the jujutsu world, his first thought is you. the only one who provided light in his dark and desolate world.

as charming and bright satoru is, he is often left in the shadows in the cave but when he came to know you, he was absolutely in love and smitten. you were like a fresh breath of air to him. but when he decides that creeping into your mundane and simple life would rather be selfish of him. someone cursed like him shouldn't be able to be with someone who is blessed and down to earth like you.

but being selfish be damned, he had faced battles, including one that almost left him biting the dust. he wants you, he needs you in his life and letting you go was definitely a mistake, something that he will never do ever again.

when his cries had calmed down, you finally get his voice again after a long time. "i'm so sorry," satoru started. "i was an idiot, i love you so much and i never stopped loving you. i was so stupid to let you go, i have never loved someone as much as i did with you." satoru knows his worth is probably lesser than any other being the moment he let you go, the only pillar who provided stability and balance in his life. he was impulsive, too proud, and too strong. but the way you held him every time you caged him into your arms is like he was fragile, someone to be protected, someone to cherish.

satoru loved that. and he was stupid to think that was worth letting go.

knowing you has made him scared of death, an entity or event that could break the two of you apart and live in separate worlds, and he couldn't bare to face it. he loves you too much to let himself go and so he fought with you in mind and thank any deity that exists, he finally won.

gojo satoru is the strongest.

so seeing him crumble right before your very eyes as his knees meet the concrete is a shock. he had bowed before you first before he had bowed to any higher up. hell, satoru bowing before anyone else would come as a shock. he held onto your ankle for support, his voice begging to take him back as he spews even more apologies that he can manage.

"please, please, i'm so sorry darling, i'll do what it takes for you to take me back. i love you so much, no other human had made me feel this way, please i'm so sorry. i miss you so much, god, i can't even remember a life before you, please." satoru had begged, begged, and begged, his voice getting louder and louder and each increased volume of his voice his hurt is more evident.

with the way his voice cracked broke your heart, and that's when you knew he meant every single letter, every syllable, every drop of tear, and every breath of his apology.

you had completely broken the strongest. but satoru doesn't mind. even if you break him a thousand times, he'd painstakingly pick up every single piece of himself to present it to you. and that's what he's doing right now.

"i forgive you 'toru," he barely hears you say through his wails and it slowly comes to a halt. he then lost the feel of your ankles as he sees you kneel yourself to his level. your hands reached to touch his face and there you see his eyes, glassed with tears, love, and regret. satoru feels the heat of your hands on his cheeks and his instincts leaned into it. "i was hurt, but i'm never mad, i just wished you'd tell me why," his heart broke when he heard your voice crack.

"but you're hear now, right? we can fix this, we can fix us." you say as you carefully wipe the tears on his face. satoru nodded as he holds your wrists and caress his thumb on it. "yeah, we'll fix us."

"together?"

"together," satoru said in confidence.

and with a light heart, satoru leans in to catch your lips on his, sealing his silent promise to never hurt you ever again, or he will never get to forgive himself.

he's gojo satoru.

he'll always find a way back into your arms.

another note: i'm quite unsure with the ending but this is all that i got 😔 i hope this was on par with your expectations nonnie hehe 🫶🏻

#🧤muse: satoru #gojo fluff #gojo angst #gojo satoru x reader #gojo x reader #gojo satoru fluff #gojo satoru angst #gojo satoru x you #gojo satoru x yn #gojo x you #jujutsu kaisen fluff #jujutsu kaisen angst #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen x you #jjk fluff #jjk angst #jjk x reader

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bokutosmochi · 1 year

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CHEATER? NEVER! ♡ GOJO SATORU

gojo satoru x gn!reader

ingredients? there's a ring he didn't recognize hidden in your drawers.

what's it? reverse comfort. angst/fluff

allergen warning/s? fears of infidelity (spoiler alert but still felt like putting it in because i'd rather spoil than trigger: no actual cheating)

sugar level? 2.5k

regulars? @tokyometronetwork @tahonet

parlor's note? gojo's has some self-doubt and shows vulnerability so maybe it's a little ooc??

bon appetit!

gojo satoru, being the strongest and having the amount of pride and confidence in his power and abilities to proclaim himself as the honored one had never felt jealous in his life, and that includes in your relationship. he's never been wary of your exes, or your guy friends, or the people in your instagram direct messages. he had all the confidence in himself and had all the trust in the world confided in you. after all, if he didn't trust you so much, he probably wouldn't have asked you out, and if he didn't trust you so much, then he wouldn't have gotten down on one knee that fateful day on the eiffel tower to propose to you after buying you that vivienne westwood necklace you had your eye on for a while.

but now, he finds himself buried in self doubt.

the cause of this self doubt is simple, he was looking for a new stick of lip balm after his tube already ran out. the both of you always kept the freshly bought ones in your bedside table since his was always filled with condoms, random pieces of candy, and random knick knacks, but he found something in there that he did not expect: a ring box.

by his knowledge, all the jewelry you owned was kept on the graceful stand on the vanity that you always kept dust-free, so he had no idea what was in the velvet box. upon opening it because his curiousity couldn't take it, he gasped. inside was a dainty gold ring. it was slender and had smaller diamonds embedded around the shiny material.

it was completely unfamiliar to him, he's a hundred percent sure that he wasn't the one to buy you this. whenever you bought yourself a new clothing item, you always showed it off to him, expecting to be showered in his praises. and neither your birthday nor christmas has recently come up with so it's not likely that it's something your friends gifted to you, and even if that was the case, you probably would have shown him since that's what you always did, but in this instance, you didn't.

this was the first time he has laid his eyes on the golden band, and this was the first time he felt this sick to his stomach in a long while.

was there someone else?

lately, he's been tasked by the jujutsu community to take on bigger missions so he hasn't been around much. and if he thinks about it, there are plenty of days you spend without him since he's either exorcising curses or teaching his precious students.

he can't even remember the last time he took you out on a proper date.

maybe you've gotten sick of him? maybe he's been neglecting the relationship?

he doesn't know and the possibility of you cheating on him, of you leaving him for someone else makes his stomach churn uncomfortably.

you seemed very patient with his hectic schedule. you always held his hand with a nod of your head, utterances of it's okay, i understand whenever he told you that he has another mission to go to and he won't be able to take you to that restaurant you kept on raving about. was it possibly because you had someone else to go with? someone else to hold you when you ever feel sad or lonely without him there?

did someone else take up his side of the bed during the days he wasn't there? was able to watch as the sun slowly bathes your sleeping form in its light?

was he not the only person who had the privilege of seeing your face first thing in the morning? eyes lazy and a soft smile on the pout of your lips?

was there someone else who presses their lips on yours with a small greeting of good morning?

did you wrap your arms around someone else whenever they cooked breakfast for two?

or dance in the rain with you?

or bent down to tie your shoelaces for you?

or curled your pinkies together in a pinky promise?

was there someone better than him?

someone who doesn't put your life in danger from heinous curses simply because of association, someone who undoubtedly has you as their main priority, someone who is always there for you whenever you catch yourself having bad days when all you want to do is bury yourself in bed and cry.

while he's well aware that no one can beat him when it comes to jujutsu, he doesn't have the same mindset when it comes to his love life.

you, you could definitely do better than him.

you probably deserve someone better than him.

his fist tightens around the ring as he breathes deeply and walks back to the living room where you were.

you smile when you hear the patter of his feet on the floor, but when you see him, it turns into a frown.

you didn't like the way his lips were downturned, and the unshed tears in his eyes had you standing up in concern.

it seemed like you saw him first though, because when he lifts his head to meet your eyes, he's quick to wear a grin. you do note that it's not as wide as it usually is, and his eyes doesn't have the glimmer it usually does, instead, they're glossy with tears.

as he's walking to you, you find yourself sitting back down on the plush couch, and when he stops in front of you, you wordlessly stare up at him, waiting for him to say anything about the sudden change in his mood.

"c'mon sweetcheeks," he smirks at you, a teasing tilt to his voice, but you know that it's strained, as if there's something in his throat that's making it hard to speak. "you deserve better than this. if you cheat on me, it should be with someone who can give you a nicer ring." he drops the golden ring onto your lap and eyes the one that's on your left ring finger; the one he proposed to you with. it wasn't the biggest ring, and while it was expensive, it wasn't the most expensive, but it was very you and that's what gojo valued the most. he didn't want people to squeal about how big the diamond on your finger was, he wanted people to envy your relationship, how he picked a ring he knew you would love, how he knows you so well.

when you see what your fiance dropped on you, your eyes immediately widened. "where did you find this?" you manage to stutter out though you find that your mouth has gone completely dry.

"does it matter, babe?" he questions you before leaning down into your ear. "tell me, is he better than me? does he fuck you as well as i do? hmm? can he make you cum over and over again all night long as much as i do?" he wears a grin, but on the inside he's dying. he never thought he'd lose you, at least not like this. hell, he thought you joining his other best friend and sharing his vision would be much more likely. he was always good at pushing things down though, and seeming unaffected by the things that destroyed him the most.

he expected you to push him away with a shove to his chest. he's already envisioned the way you would roll your eyes at him, "not everything's about sex, 'toru," you would scoff before coming clean with your infidelity. he thinks you'd have a good reason for it, maybe this guy gave you more emotional support than what he could ever provide.

instead though, you blink a few times. "'toru," you breathed out. "i'm not cheating on you."

your reply only made him scoff. "the evidence is right in front of our noses, sweet thing. there's no need for you to deny it anymore, 'kay?" he tilted his head at you with a teasing smirk on his lips.

you knew he's gone through enough things to be able to brush things off easily and pretend they didn't bother him, hell, you've gone through some of those things with him, but sometimes you really did underestimate his mental fortitude though you did loathe it from time-to-time. specifically at times where he pretends that everything in his life is sunshine and rainbows as he claims to not need your help.

"this is an engagement ring." you stated matter of factly, the ring now rested on your palm as you stared at it. then you looked back at your fiance. "i was kind of.. impatient." you owed him some sort of explanation now. "when we celebrated our ten year anniversary-" because the two of you began dating when you met as high schoolers "-i just.. really wanted to get engaged to you. i already knew you were the one so," you trailed off with a shrug. "it seemed pretty pointless to wait." you laughed lightly at your actions in the past.

gojo's face still remained composed, not showing any emotion that would give away how he felt while you weren't done talking yet.

"a few days after, i bought this." you looked at the accessory again. "i'm in love with you, satoru. i'm not above being the one to propose to you. but then, you took me to paris and beat me to the punch. that's all there is to it."

there was a long moment of silence between when the last word left your mouth and when the first word left gojo's.

"so you wanted to propose to me?"

"precisely."

and before you knew it, you were tackled into a bone-crushing hug. your body was pressed into the cushion of the sofa as gojo leant all of his body weight onto your figure.

"thank you." was all he could breathe out.

you smiled softly, looking down at the man who had his face buried on your stomach. he has lifted your shirt up so he would be able to feel your skin on the delicateness of his cheek as he nuzzled into you. "i love you." the way he said it has an air of finality to it that made your heart swell, crushing against your ribcage. you leaned down to press the side of your face onto the top of his, pressing a kiss there and running your fingers through a few strands of his snowy hair. "i love you too, 'toru."

gojo so rarely shows his true emotions even to those he trusts with his life, and it's even more rare that he lets himself cry, but this may have been the closest call he's ever had since turning eighteen.

when he started to calm down, he opted to sit beside you instead. still, his head was on your shoulder and his eyes were shut.

"'toru, you awake?"

he hummed out a positive response.

"did i ever do anything to make you feel like i would cheat on you?" you pressed a kiss to his temple, mumbling a desperate answer me honestly, please on the sensitive skin.

he readjusted his sitting so he'd be perfectly upright, although his eyes didn't meet yours. "wasn't really you, sweetcheeks. just saw the ring then realized that maybe, maybe you deserve better."

the words that left him made you look back so fast it could have given you whiplash, and you're sure you're going to visit shoko later to get checked out. that was not something you saw coming no matter how you knew him so well. before you could stutter out a surprised response, he started talking.

"i'm good at most things i know, but i don't think being a boyfriend is one of those." he paused. "i constantly leave you alone to go on missions. you're my number one priority, but i doubt you know that." he pauses to pursue his lips. "when was the last time i was available for you as a shoulder to cry on? you, you can do so much better."

and even after that, the amount of love you poured into each and every utter of his name remained and that's something that is going to imprint itself onto gojo's soul so long as it exists. "'toru, baby, i already told you, i understand."

you cradle his face in your hands so he'd be looking at you in the eye. "i understand that you have responsibilities," you pressed a quick kiss to his lips. "i understand that you can't be here all the time," you kiss him once more. "i understand that there'll be times where we don't go on extravagant dates because of your schedule." you kiss him again and his eyelids flutter shut instinctively. "but none of that matters to me," you press his forehead to yours as he opens his eyes. it takes everything in you to not falter when his radiant blues meets your gaze. "why?" he asks under his breath.

"because you're trying. i know you care about this relationship and i know you care about me. that's all that matters." you finish it off with patting the top of his head.

BONUS:

instead of warping the two of you to the school like he does on most days, he extends his infinity towards you as he has expressed his desire to walk to campus today for a reason unknown to you.

your fingers are intertwined with the other's and the way he sways it to and fro is higher than it usually is. you just chalk it up to him being in a good mood because of the heart-to-heart you had yesterday. but as you walk into the faculty room where yaga, ieiri, nanami, and because of the kyoto sister school exchange event gakugangi, mei-mei, and utahime was at, you realized that it was not the case, at least not completely.

"what's with the ring on your finger, gojo? you guys wed?" shoko asks with a raised brow as she spots you and gojo walking into the room; fashionably late as your fiance always is.

gojo sports a toothy grin at everyone, "why doncha ask my baby?"

everyone's eyes go to you immediately after catching what the woman was talking about; the thin, gold ring that's around gojo's left ring finger.

"no, no," you waved it off. "if me and 'toru have gotten married, you would have gotten an invitation. just bought an engagement ring for him was all."

i get: reblog

you get: a ring

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callmebuttfatt · 2 years

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ＴＨＥＭＯＲＮＩＮＧＳＡＦＴＥＲ．．． ᴘʟᴀʏʟɪsᴛ ʙʏ Gᴏᴊᴏ Sᴀᴛᴏʀᴜ

Hᴀʀʀʏ Sᴛʏʟᴇs - Dᴀʏʟɪɢʜᴛ

00:42 ━━━━⬤─────── 02:44 ⇆ㅤ ||◁ㅤ❚❚ㅤ▷||ㅤ ↻

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Part of a series I'm making, inspired by tojikai's Permanent Mark

Wherein I create scenarios of in betweens, moments that weren't mentioned but could've happened - Headcanons; Featuring a song that I could've have been playing during those moments. *Side note - For consistency of my posts or whatever, I've always imagined Y/N having short dark hair while she was dating Satoru. She let it grew and dyed it lighter after they broke up.* I | II

#YN x Gojo Satoru #Gojo Satoru x YN #tojikai #Tojikai Permanent Mark #Jujutsu Kaisen #Gojo Satoru #Satoru Gojo

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system-to-the-madness · 3 months

Text

I had to tell you that I love you - Gojō Satoru x Reader

Pairing: Gojō Satoru x nonSorcerer!Reader (can be read as any gender, no pronouns used) Genre: hurt/comfort Word Count: 8 078 Warnings: so many. MAJOR SPOILERS FOR CHAPTER 236 – set after chapter 236, death, blood, break-up, coma, canon-typical violence Summary: Satoru broke up with you the day before Christmas and returns a day later with an impossible sounding story

Masterlist

He’s been acting so different, ever since he came back in November, you think to yourself, sitting opposite Satoru in an Udon shop on the day before Christmas Eve. It was uncharacteristically enough for him to just up and disappear for such long stretches of time, almost three weeks, no message, no call, nothing. He’d been gone for three days before, four, sometimes even a whole week, but never three. And when he came back, as if nothing had happened, slipping into bed beside you at night, only letting you know he was home with a feather light, lingering kiss against your nape, you didn’t think too much of it at first. This was Satoru after all. He was peculiar like that sometimes.

But over the next days, things had begun changing, the way he looked at you, touched you, was different. He had always been rather playful with you, but now if felt as if every interaction with you carried a weight. As if he was trying to memorise your face every time that he looked at you, trying to imprint the feeling of your body into his every time he hugged you. You liked it, the way he suddenly treated you as if this was something more than a mere flirt, more than a relationship he was in only to have someone to come home to at night. You had never been sure if you were more to him than that, even when words of love rolled off his lips like sticky sweet sirup.

But his sudden seriousness also worried you. Had something happened while he had been gone? Had someone close to him died? Had he seen, or heard something that had shaken him up so badly that he treated each and every interaction with you as if it were the last? Even now, with the way he was looking at you over the chopsticks he held in his hand… he studied you as if the way you were eating your noodles was the secret cypher to a riddle he tried to solve.

“What’s going on in that head of yours?”

You had asked this question a hundred times before. Satoru was hard to read sometimes, his jokes occasionally hiding a sadness you didn’t quite comprehend, a sadness he didn’t want you to comprehend. How much did you even know about his life, other than that he was from an ancient clan? Nothing. There were scars littering his body, the most prominent being a long, pale scar reaching almost all the way down from the middle of his throat to his right hip. You had asked what had happened once, sheets tangled around your bodies, your finger running along what once must have been an awfully deep wound. Foolishly you had hoped Satoru would reveal more about himself, would allow himself to be vulnerable with you, just this once, but he had laughed it off, pretending like the wound this scar had originated from had been anything but serious, and you had gotten the message loud and clear: I don’t want to talk about it so don’t ask again.

Now, ocean blue eyes looked at you from over his chopsticks, his tongue darting out from between his lips to collect the taste of broth, that was still lingering on them. He blinked at you, as if returning from his thoughts into the moment, seated on a cushion in the small Udon shop, watching you eat.

Satoru inhaled deeply, placed his chopsticks down, shortly tearing his gaze away from your face, before looking up at you again.

“Why do you ask?” Something in his voice had changed to a tone you did not like, one of annoyance. Usually, he either answered your question truthfully, something along the lines of “Thinking about whether to get chocolate or strawberry cake later.” Or he fooled around, which was your signal not to poke further. Satoru was a man of many secrets, and he kept all of them well.

You shrugged at his question, placing down your own chopsticks. “Just… I’m a bit worried about you, you know? You- you seem like something’s been bothering you for a while now.” Since he came back in November.

“Nothing serious,” he answered, running his hands through his hair, “Just a bit of trouble at work. And Megumi’s giving me a headache.”

A smile pulled at your lips. Megumi. Satoru’s adopted son. You had known Satoru had taken responsibility for a young boy, when he had still been almost a teenager himself, and you had only met the boy through coincidence, when he had turned up at your flat one day, claiming to be looking for Satoru. You had a feeling though that he had been looking less for his guardian and teacher than to find out about this new partner Satoru seemed to have mentioned, because he knew your name even without you having to introduce yourself. You had liked Megumi from the first moment on, and even though he was not very expressive, you felt like he at least tolerated you, maybe he even liked you a bit. From the little you knew about him, it did not seem like the boy to give Satoru any grief. Then again, he was a teenager, and it was normal for teenagers to get into disagreements with their guardians – and adults generally – all the time.

“What’s Megumi giving you a headache about? Is he beating up bullies again?” Yes, you had learnt about Megumi’s rebellious phase in middle school.

Satoru shook his head, his gaze drifting off again, staring into the distance. White strands of hair feel into his eyes, and following an impulse, your reached over and brushed them aside with the tips of your fingers.

“Nah, just some… identity crises, if you will,” Satoru informed you.

“You should ask him to come over for New Years. We should all celebrate together,” you suggested, and Satoru nodded thoughtfully, while you drew your hand back from his face.

“Hey,” he suddenly spoke up, his blue eyes filled with a strange, and rather unsettling intensity as he looked back to you. “Let’s break up.”

There was no humour in his voice at all as he spoke, and you knew that this was not one of his “if you don’t kiss me right now, I’ll break up with you and find someone who actually loves me”-jokes. This was serious.

“What?” You felt your entire body going weak, but Satoru was already getting up from where he had sat, his soup unfinished, his eyes no longer on your face, and adverted instead, as if in shame.

“I’m doing this for you, to keep you safe. Megumi will explain everything on New Year’s.”

Now your confusion was complete. What was he talking about, breaking up with you to keep you safe, but Megumi would still come around for New Year’s?

“Satoru!” Your voice was loud enough to draw the other patrons’ attention to you, but you did not care, as you scrambled to your feet, running after him, who had already made it to the door. “Wait! What do you mean-”

In an attempt to stop him from leaving without a proper explanation, you reached out, trying to take hold of his wrist, and instead collided with an invisible wall. Now even more confused, you stopped, looking at your hand and reaching out again, pressing your palm against the invisible barrier that kept you from reaching Satoru. He had stopped too, just two feet away from you, but he did not turn around. Instead, he spoke over his shoulder, his eyes not meeting yours as he did.

“Go back to the table and finish your meal. The soup will turn cold.”

And then he left.

It had been a little more than 24 hours since then. You had come home that evening, irrationally expecting to find Satoru lounging on the sofa, watching some stupid tv show, but the flat had been empty and dark. It was only after having turned on the light, that you had realized that there was nothing left of him in your life. You hadn’t noticed it until then, but over the past month, he had slowly removed any items he had brought into your shared life, the few books he had moved into your flat after getting together with you, that stupid towel with cats printed on it, clothes… in short: everything. It had never been much to begin with, so you had not noticed the little absences, but now that he was gone too, it all screamed in your face. This had been something he had planned for a whole month, maybe even longer. And he had waited until the day before Christmas Eve to break up with you, making himself the last piece to remove from your life.

Anger and pain had washed over you all at once, and the feeling of your heart tearing in two had set in with a time delay of however long it had taken you to get home after he had left you at the restaurant. It had been in the living room, just in front of the couch, where you had crumbled to the floor, clutching your chest in hopes to somehow hold together the pieces of your broken heart, to somehow keep yourself from falling apart. You had stayed there for the rest of the night, crying.

From pain, at having been left by the man who you had fallen harder for than you knew was good for yourself. From anger at him for leaving you like that. But also anger at yourself, that you had allowed your feelings to grow so deep. Because you had always known that eventually he would leave you. In the beginning you had tried to keep your emotions in check, telling yourself you were nothing but the ticket to a hot meal and a warm bed for Satoru, but emotions didn’t like following rational thought. All this pain you were in now was your own fault for not staying in control of your feelings for him.

And you had cried because you missed him, missed his annoyingly pretty face with these piercing blue eyes and snow-white strands of hair, missed those stupid sunglasses he sometimes wore, the clothes he left laying around, his half serious complaints when you ended up wearing one of his shirts or jackets after he had left them laying on a kitchen chair for three days straight. You missed the strength of his arms, that always engulfed you, when you were feeling tired or stressed, missed the softness of his lips against your skin, his playful wrangling with you, whenever you tried to pay for something you wanted to get for yourself, missed his warmth, both physically and emotionally. You missed him. And you’d miss Megumi too, even though you were not very close to him, it had started feeling a little like you were his big sister and had to look out for him. Not anymore though. Satoru had taken Megumi away from you, too.

After a night of barely sleeping, you had gotten up from the cold spot on the living room the next morning. Your eyes were burning, puffy and red from crying, but on the inside you only felt numb. Mechanically you had showered, dressed, and gone to work. Whenever a colleague asked about your plans for the night you waved them off, their stories about what they had planned with their partners dripping off of you. You knew that if you actually listened, your mind would go to all the scenarios you had imagined with Satoru for the evening, and you’d break out into tears again. Which would be highly unprofessional, so you just nodded to your colleagues’ plans without listening properly.

On your way home you had stopped by the convenience store to grab dinner. After all you had not expected having to take care of food by yourself today and instead been looking forward to going out with Satoru, leaving your fridge empty.

Habitually you stopped in front of the shelf with sushi. Satoru always turned whiny when you did not bring back sushi from the convenience store, so it always was your first stop when entering the small store.

No. It had been your first stop.

There was no Satoru to come home to anymore, you reminded yourself, feeling the weight you had ignored over the day, settle heavy in your chest. So instead of sushi you grabbed a yakisoba bun, no dessert, and had the clerk warm up your food for you, before you headed home to the cold, dark apartment.

After having eaten, you had tried to go to bed, but everything still smelled of Satoru. A wave of sadness threatened to wash over and drown you, but instead you suddenly got angry. How dare him? How did he think it was okay to just suddenly leave you like this? On the day before Christmas Eve of all days? Was he out of his mind? If he really valued you and your feelings so little, you would be better off without him anyway.

In a burst of rage, you begun tearing the sheets of your bed, throwing everything into the laundry machine. Your heart was hammering hard and angry in your chest as you marched back to the bedroom, pulling out a new set of bed sheets, and started to pull them on your mattress and blanket. It was only until you had to work more slowly to get the buttons of the sheets closed, that the anger that had powered you begun subsiding significantly. Your hands begun shaking, less with anger this time than with sobs you desperately tried to hold in. To no avail.

For the second time within a day you crumbled, sitting down, on the half-made bed this time, and buried your face in your hands. He didn’t deserve your tears, you reminded yourself. He probably had never really cared for you more than for how convenient it was to stay around. He did not deserve your love, the way your heart ached for his presence, his touch, his teasing voice, his stupid, childish, immature jokes.

But it hurt.

It hurt so much.

No matter whether Satoru deserved your tears or not, your heart felt like it had been torn to pieces, making breathing hard and catching a rational thought impossible. You didn’t care that the sheets for the blanket were not buttoned yet, or that the curtains were not drawn so that the people in the house opposite yours could’ve easily looked into your brightly illuminated bedroom. You just sat on the bed and cried, allowing yourself to feel everything all at once.

The stupid heartbreak that Satoru had caused by breaking up with you, the insecurity about what he truly felt or didn’t feel for you during your relationship. Anger at yourself, because you should have seen it coming, should have known that the last month, in which he had been so quiet, meant the end for what you had had.

Eventually you were out of tears. Your eyes were burning, your face hot, your hands tearstained and the bed still unmade. You knew you should finish with the bed and go to sleep; after all tomorrow was just another completely ordinary day, going to the office and having to listen to all the stories your co-workers would share about how amazing their Christmas Eve had been.

What would you answer if they asked about yours? You could hardly tell them that you had spent it crying your eyes out on your bed because your boyfriend had broken up with you. But then again, some of your senpais would probably immediately start making plans on how to hunt Satoru down and punish him for hurting you. The idea amused you slightly, the image of these elderly woman challenging Satoru to explain himself. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to be honest with them.

Tiredly you lifted your head and glanced at the clock. Quarter to one. It had gotten terribly late. Feeling exhausted from all the emotions and the crying, you slowly got up from your bed, when suddenly you heard a knock on your front door.

You paused.

Had you cried so loudly that one of the neighbours had decided you needed to be checked up on?

Not daring to throw a look in the mirror by the bedroom door, you quickly tucked your clothes into place, still dressed in your formal uniform from work, and made your way through the dark apartment to the door.

Unlocking it, you already prepared a few words on how to quickly get rid of your neighbours. “Sorry, I know I was pretty loud, I promise I’ll be quiet now. Actually, I was just on my way to bed.” Yeah, that should do.

Opening the door, you began talking before you had even taken a look at who was outside. “Sorry, I-“

You were interrupted by someone tall pushing past you into the flat. Someone tall and terribly familiar.

“I brought some of that chocolate crème pudding,” Satoru greeted, as he leant against the shelf in the genkan, a grin bright enough to be visible even in little slither of light that fell in from the stairwell through the slowly closing door.

The floor felt like it had given way underneath your feet, as you stared at the man who until a little over a day ago you had called your boyfriend. Until he had so casually said “Let’s break up” and strolled out of your life as if he had never been part of it. And now he stood in your genkan, holding up a bag from 7Eleven and grinned as if nothing had ever happened. As if it were completely normal to just turn up in the middle of the night with chocolate crème pudding and expect to be invited in. Well, he had not expected to be invited in, he had invited himself in.

In the last orange beam of light that peeked through the door before it fell closed, you could see how tired Satoru looked. Dark shadows strangely drew over his face, but before you could see what it was that coated his skin, darkness enveloped you both, only a faint, blue light from an electrical appliance giving you a faint idea of where he stood.

Silence spread between you, uncomfortable silence like you had never known it with him before. But what were you supposed to do? He had ended things, so what was he doing here now?

“Don’t I get a welcome-home-kiss,” he teased, and in the darkness you heard him put down the plastic bag.

“Get out,” you whispered.

You wanted to sound strong, dominant, and pissed off. But you only sounded sad and weak. He had no business coming back here, playing with your feelings like that. Absolutely no business. You deserved better, you deserved more. You deserved someone who didn’t just play with your feelings for the fun of it and then turned up a day later in the middle of the night, with fucking chocolate pudding. Even if it was your favourite treat.

The silence that fell this time, was different. It was heavy. The faint blue light bounced off of Satoru’s smooth uniform trousers, shimmering mysteriously. And when he moved, you almost hoped it was to leave.

But you should have known him better than that. Instead of turning towards the door, he stepped forward in the dark, right in front of where you stood with your back pressed against the wall.

“There is nothing I can tell you to make up for how I hurt you,” he spoke quietly and seriously. It was strange hearing him like that, when usually his voice was tinted in playfulness.

Damn right, you though to yourself, but stayed quiet, punishing him with your silence instead.

“And there is no excuse that I never told you who I was, never let you into my life. I want to change that. I want you to know that from today on everything is different. The power balance of the earth has shifted, and I can finally be… me, the person you deserve me to be, be honest, just… free. I want to tell you everything. Will you let me?”

He stood so close to you that you could feel his breath on your face as he talked.

“You were the one who broke up with me,” you reminded him, trying to summon the same anger with which you had ripped the sheets off your bed earlier. “Why would I care about what you want any longer?"

You heard Satoru take a shuddering breath before he answered: “Because I brought chocolate pudding?”

“Get out,” you repeated, but of course Satoru didn’t listen. Instead, he turned and moved towards the living room, flicking on the light there.

Reluctantly you followed him, finally being able to take in his appearance completely. As you had guessed, he wore his uniform trousers, the dark material smooth and clean. Much unlike his black cotton t-shirt. It had rips and holes all over it, the fabric discoloured by blood, but his pale skin underneath seemed to be unharmed. As your eyes wandered to his face, they widened in quiet shock and surprise. His usually pristine white hair was streaked red, with blood coating the strands together, more blood being smeared over his face. But there were no wounds you could spot on him. Was it even his own blood? If not, whose was it?

“Oh, it’s mine,” Satoru shrugged as if he had read your thoughts, and flopped down on the sofa, leaning his head back and glancing up at you with these stupid blue eyes of his. “I got into a bit of a brawl.”

You blinked. He had gotten into “a bit of a brawl”? Since when was Satoru the type to pick fights?

“What are you doing here?”

“I’m here to fix things. Or at least try to fix things. The rest is up to you, really.” He sounded disgustingly sincere, but the hint of nervousness in his voice did not escape you.

“And how do you think you can do that? Satoru, you broke up with me! You left me standing there as if I had never meant anything to you at all! What makes you think I’m ready to waste my time on someone who doesn’t give two damns about me!”

“I figured it would be easier for you to think I didn’t love you anymore, than for you to find out I had died.”

“I wasn’t sure you ever loved me to begin with,” you shouted at him, and the hurt that suddenly flickered over his face was worryingly satisfying. But then the second part of his sentence registered, and you stopped. “Wait- died? What are you even talking about?”

Satoru stood back up from the sofa, facing you, and closed his eyes for a moment as if he was preparing for his next words. When he opened them again, they were swimming with a vulnerability you had never seen in him before. It almost scared you, and alarmed you took a step backwards. Satoru was never vulnerable with you, maybe not even with anyone. He was always playful and a little childish, and when you tried to find out more about him, he shut you out with his immature jokes. So now that he seemed like he was carrying his heart on his sleeve, you were not sure how to take it.

“My name is Gojō Satoru,” he began, speaking so seriously that you took another step back. Who was the man in front of you? “I’m the leader of the Gojō Clan, one of the three big Jujutsu Clans in Japan. I inherited both the Limitless and the Six Eyes, making me the first jujutsu sorcerer to do so in hundreds of years. My birth altered the balance of the world.”

Confused you stared at him. Jujutsu? As in magic? Seeing your irritation, Satoru sighed slightly before explaining: “The world is not just inhabited by the beings you can see. But also by curses. They are created from the pain and fear of humans, and normal people like you can’t see them. But you can still get hurt or even get killed by them. So, people who can see them, fight against them. I’m one of them. And I teach others how to do it. I taught Megumi-” he choked up then, and all of a sudden the confident man before you disappeared, leaving behind someone who seemed to have lost all hope. Satoru’s face had turned pale, paler than usual. His blue eyes grew brighter as tears began rising in them and he looked so lost. Trying to get rid of the tears, he blinked and shook his head, but then he dropped his shoulders, his lower lips quivering, and he quickly bit it to suppress the motion. “I don’t think he’ll make it-”

It felt like your heart stopped in your chest. Forget everything he had told you about Jujutsu. What did he mean by saying he thought Megumi might not make it?

“What happened to Megumi,” you asked, keeping your eyes on your ex-boyfriend. “Satoru! What happened to him?” Desperately you stepped forward, grabbing him on the torn, black shirt he wore. You didn’t know Megumi very well, and while you had liked him from the start, initially you had only cared for him because Satoru did. But over time you had grown attached to the quiet, sarcastic boy with the unruly black hair and those disturbingly dark-blue eyes. You felt responsible for him, just like you knew Satoru did. If something had happened to him- gods, you didn’t want to imagine what Satoru went through. “What happened to Megumi,” you asked once more.

“I think I killed him.”

You froze, staring at the way Satoru swayed where he was standing before you before he dropped forward against you, his arms coming around you, holding you close.

You staggered under the tall man’s weight but kept him upright.

“What do you mean, you think you killed him?” Your voice was louder and shriller than you intended it to be. Had Satoru just confessed to having killed his protégé?

“He got possessed by an ancient sorcerer, Ryōmen Sukuna. Back in November already,” Satoru whispered, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck. Stiffly you held him up, not moving even though normally you would have circled your arms around his middle and massaged little, comforting patterns into his back. But he had broken up with you, he had no right to ask for comfort from you. And he had killed a boy. Did you expect him to comfort him for murdering someone?

“It was agreed that since I’m the only one who would stand a chance against him, we would meet in battle today. That’s why-” his arms tightened around you, pulling you closer to him. You only stiffened further. “That’s why I broke up with you. I thought it would be better to break your heart by making you believe I didn’t love you anymore than for you to find out I had died. Because that’s what I was expecting from today. I didn’t expect to win; there was no way I would win.”

“But you did. And you didn’t die.”

“I did. I did die. I- Sukuna killed me.”

“You’re very alive for a dead man.” Alive, warm, his heart beating against your chest, his breath fanning over your neck. He was very alive. Unlike Megumi.

“Fate wasn’t done with me yet. I wasn’t done with fate yet. That’s Jujutsu for you.”

He pulled away then, taking a step backwards, and lifting his shirt up a little. A fresh scar, long and ragged, looped around his waist like a belt.

You furrowed your brows. This one was new. You had seen Satoru shirtless just a few days ago, and then there had been no scar. The one that adorned his skin now looked at least three weeks old, still red and rigid. It must have been a terribly deep wound.

“Hey Principal! Thought ya said no Jujutsu Sorcerer dies without regrets!”

At Yaga’s annoyed gesture, as if he was shooing away Satoru’s words like flies, laughter bubbled past Suguru’s lips, making Satoru laugh as well, soon joined by all the others in the room.

“Now I’m hoping this isn’t a dream,” Satoru mumbled, crossing his arms behind his neck, and leaning back against the back rest of the bench he was sitting on.

Orange afternoon light flitted through the dusty windows, lighting up the planes in the distance. It was a beautiful day to die, he thought to himself. He just hoped Yūji and his other students wouldn’t take his death all too heavy. They must have known there was no way he’d ever really make it.

The smile on his lips slowly faltered, as another face appeared in his memory. He just couldn’t shake the image of your expression when he had left you in that Udon shop less than a day ago. You had looked so hurt. Of course, he had known you wouldn’t exactly be happy about getting broken up with. But he had never believed that you’d actually be this hurt. All this time he had told himself that you merely tolerated him. He knew he was annoying, and he had done his best to always keep his feelings hidden behind a mask of playfulness. He couldn’t risk showing you the true depth of his love for you in order to protect you from your own feelings.

He had always, ever since he had first taken you on a date, known that one day there would be the risk of him being taken away from you. Letting you fall for him completely would have been irresponsible. This was also why he had broken up with you. So you were at least mad at him if you found out he had died. But the way you had looked at him when he had left the Udon shop that evening- it had been then that he knew he had failed in his stupid attempt to keep you from falling for him. He had left anyway, had faced Sukuna anyway. Had died.

And now?

As orange light warmed Satoru’s cheeks, he couldn’t help but wonder what you were doing now. What time was it? Half past four? You probably were still at work. Had you cried last night? He had only ever seen you cry over movies. What would you look like if you cried for real? Drumming his fingers against his black uniform trousers, he felt an unfamiliar itch in his chest grow stronger and stronger. He didn’t want you to cry because of an idiot like him. You deserved better than that. You deserved to be held and be told just how much he loved you.

Satoru stood up, drawing Suguru’s attention to him, but his best friend stayed quiet, just watching as he paced up and down.

How could he have allowed himself to hurt you like that? And now he was dead? How much more would you cry if you found out he had died? You would not even get to hear the whole truth, because you were no sorcerer. He had made sure to shield you from this world, had made sure to keep you innocent and safe from the horrors of Jujutsu. And while it was true that he had only tried to protect you, you didn’t deserve to be treated like a child. You deserved to know everything. About who he was, about the responsibility he carried, the responsibility you would carry if you decided to stay with him. About the Jujutsu World, about his imprisonment, about Megumi’s possession- you deserved to know everything. But most of all you deserved to know just how much he loved you.

“I didn’t think you’d stay for as long as you do.”

It was Suguru’s chuckle, that made Satoru look up from where he had stared at the floor while pacing up and down. Questioningly looking at his best friend, Satoru came to a stop.

“Go on,” Suguru encouraged. “You’ve already made your decision, haven’t you?”

“But I’ve only just got you back…” Satoru couldn’t help the way his throat closed up at the thought of losing his best friend all over again.

“I’m dead, Satoru,” Suguru smiled. “You aren’t, not yet. And (y/n) isn’t either. You should go. Take care of Sukuna, and then go home and make things right.”

Satoru stared at Suguru for a long moment, tried to memorise those brown eyes, the messily bound back hair.

“You got a life to live, you know?”

Satoru chuckled at these words, finally averting his gaze, looking out of the wide windows towards the sunset.

“You’ve always been my best friend, you know,” he smiled, looking back to Suguru, “and nothing will ever change that.”

“Just don’t mourn us too much, alright,” Suguru laughed, stretching in his seat.

“Who said I ever did,” Satoru pouted in return, and then sighed, thinking about what was going to happen next, the pain, the exhaustion. He was not looking forward to that. All just for the slim chance that you might forgive him. But he’d do anything for a chance to feel your lips against his again, even just to see your eyes again. “I won’t mourn you,” he promised with a last glance at Suguru, “but I can’t promise that I won’t miss you.”

Satoru blinked, and suddenly the airport was gone, and he was looking up into the evening sky instead. Pain radiated from his waist, so awful that it felt like his whole body was set aflame. Blood wet his clothes, trickled from his lips and down his chin and cheeks. What a mess. In the distance, Sukuna’s voice kept drowning on.

“Your infinity meant nothing. As long as it existed within that space – that world – it would all be torn apart.” Oh god, was Sukuna really talking to him? Even after he had sliced him in two and killed him? How arrogant could that guy be? “It was a near impossible technique to pull of. But that model proved to be quite effective.” If anyone had ever been full of themselves, it had to be Sukuna, keeping boasting over Satoru’s dead body. Well, not dead anymore. “You did well, Gojō Satoru. I won’t forget you for as long as I live.”

“Not so long then,” Satoru mumbled, more to himself than Sukuna or anyone else, while pushing back to his feet. His legs tingled the same way they did when he sat formally for too long. That’s what he got for being sliced in two. Tingly legs. Definitely an experience that didn’t need repetition then. “Let’s finish this right now.”

Sukuna turned back to him, his red eyes widening in surprise. Or shock. Gojō wasn’t sure. What he was sure of was that he was sick of Sukuna. He had done enough damage. It was time Yūji and Megumi were left alone. It was time they all went home, got a nice shower, some proper food into their stomachs (preferably followed by a huge dessert), and a good night’s sleep. And in Satoru’s case a long, deep kiss by those pretty, pretty lips he loved so much. Oh dear, after he was done with Sukuna, he’d still have to face you and put things right on that front. Well, one after the other.

“I wanna get this over with. I got a special someone to go home to.”

“I died. And all I could think was that I had made you believe I didn’t love you. If I had to decide between living just one more second with you or a long life without you, I would choose you every single time, over and over again. I love you like I never believed I could love anyone. And I never told you in a way that would actually make you believe me. Because I was scared that if you did, and then something happened to me, you’d get hurt so much more badly than if you thought I didn’t really care. But I had to tell you. That was all I could think about, that was why I had to keep fighting. I had to tell you that I love you, in a way that you wouldn’t doubt me. That’s why I came back. That’s why I killed Sukuna. That’s why maybe Megumi will never wake up.”

All these information was too much for you. Talks of battles and magic, of ancient evil sorcerers, scars, death… where were you to start? So you started with the one thing you could understand: Megumi was hurt. For the fourth time you asked: “What happened to Megumi?”

Satoru shook his head, as if he was trying to shake his thoughts into place.

“When Sukuna took over his body, his soul was suppressed, like in a dream state or… more like a coma. This way Sukuna was able to control his body without Megumi’s mind having any influence over it. When Itadori, one of my students, and I killed Sukuna, we thought Megumi’s soul would wake back up, that his mind would take back over but… it didn’t. He isn’t dead, he’s comatose, and nobody can tell if he will ever wake up again.”

His voice had grown lower over the last sentences, making it almost hard to understand him. Weakly he took a few steps back, sitting down on the arm rest of the sofa. He looked tired. Satoru was never tired, never once in the almost two years of dating him had he been tired. And now he looked like he had not slept for a month straight. Dark circles ran under his eyes, his posture was deflated, his eyes heavy-lidded. And then there was the sadness that seemed to be oozing out of every single one of his pores. It made the air heavy with grief, and it was only when he spoke up again, that your heart finally began taking pity on him.

“I lost the one person I swore myself to protect from harm, and I think I lost the only person I could ever truly love.” He looked up at you then, despair in his eyes. “I don’t blame you. It’s my own fault. I made sure to hurt you so badly that you’d never want me back. I should leave.”

He got up from where he had been sitting on the armrest, but you were quicker, stepping in front of him, and keeping him from leaving.

“Step through that door, and you will lose me,” you warned him.

Surprised he looked at you, the exact moment he realized you were giving him a second chance clearly recognizable. His breathing quickened, and he plopped back down on the armrest. His eyes followed your hands, as you brough them up to the hem of his shirt, and slipped one hand underneath, fingertips ghosting over the fresh scar.

“How did it heal so fast,” you asked, looking back up at Satoru.

“Cursed Technique Reversal,” he answered almost absentmindedly, his eyes fluttering shut in bliss at the feeling of your skin against his.

“Cursed what?”

“It’s when a you use cursed technique and-”

“Forget I asked.”

Satoru shut up, a small sound of protest leaving his lips as you removed your hand from under his shirt again.

“What happened to Megumi-” you started, and immediately Satoru dropped his chin to his chest. “I think I barely understood any of the things you just told me, but from what I can tell, it wasn’t your fault. You didn’t mean to hurt him. And I know you care for him; I know you would never hurt him intentionally. And you said it yourself. Nobody can tell if he will wake up. So maybe he will. Maybe even tomorrow.”

Satoru chuckled, a sad smile on his lips. “I thought, between the two of us, I was the irrationally optimistic one.”

“You don’t look irrationally optimistic to me right now, and the balance must be kept,” you replied, gently nudging your foot against his, making him look at you. “Besides, it’s called comforting someone.”

Satoru observed your face for a while, taking in the way you were watching him in return. How had he ever been able to hurt you? But he had done it in the conviction that it would save you pain. Maybe he should have anticipated that you would suffer either way.

“Kiss me?”

His voice was very small as he asked, not entirely sure if you had already forgiven him enough to follow his request, but much to his relief, you brought your hand up to his neck and pulled him against your lips.

The kiss was short, but proof enough to Satoru that he hadn’t lost you. No matter how much he might deserve it, he had not lost you. You were still right here in front of him, standing so close to him, that his hand settled perfectly on your waist, as he exhaled shakily into the kiss.

“Will you explain the whole Jujutsu stuff to me, or will you only start hiding behind jokes again if I ask,” you wondered, pulling away just enough to be able to look into his eyes.

“I’ll explain,” Satoru decided. “Because you deserve to know everything there is to know about me. And if by the end of it, you don’t think you can stay with me, I’ll leave, and you’ll never have to see me again.” The way your hand suddenly tightened its grip into his shirt made him smile a little. “But if it were up to me, I’d stay by your side until we’re old and grey.”

“You’re already white haired. I don’t think you’ll turn much greyer.”

“Oh, how mean,” he whined, bringing his second hand also to your waist and wrapping his arms around you so you were standing between his knees, and pressed to his chest. Leaning backwards, he let himself fall onto the sofa with you on top of him, delighted by the squeal that left you at the unexpected action. With some effort he managed to shimmy up his way until his head was resting on the other arm rest, but his legs were so long they simply reached over the edge of the sofa.

Fumbling his phone out of his back pocket, he threw it onto the table and wrapped his arms around you.

“Can we stay like that forever,” he asked, sounding sleepy all of a sudden.

You propped yourself up over him, and brushed strands of white hair out of his forehead.

“Only for tonight,” you answered. “Tomorrow we’ll go and visit Megumi.”

“I don’t think I can stand to see him like that,” Satoru whispered.

“You’ll have to. You took responsibility for him. You need to see him. And I want to be there for him, too.”

Satoru nodded, his eyes fluttering shut. “But only tomorrow. Not tonight. I need you to be there for me tonight.”

“You’re so needy,” you chuckled, and he nodded again in agreement.

“You like it.”

“I just don’t know why.”

“Because I’m so cool?”

“Hardly.”

Satoru laughed sleepily. “Keep telling yourself that.”

But you hadn’t lied. You didn’t like – didn’t love – Satoru because he was cool. You loved him because even though he behaved like an overgrown child most of the time, he took responsibility (albeit begrudgedly). He was caring and sweet and protective. You knew he had lost people close to him, even though he had never talked about it. He didn’t have to, for you to guess. You hoped you’d get to tell him one day that you loved him just the way he was, and not even the things in that Jujutsu world of his, that he was worried would chase you away, would change that.

His breathing evened out quickly, and you wondered if you had ever seen him actually asleep. In the evenings it had always been you, who had fallen asleep first and in the mornings he had always already been up by the time you woke up. Now his white lashes were resting against his still blood smeared cheeks, his hair was a dishevelled mess of white streaked with red, but his features were completely relaxed. You smiled a little as you watched him, until suddenly, from the corner of your eyes, you saw the screen of his phone, which he had thrown on the living room table, lighting up with an incoming call.

Turning your head, you were able to make out the name Itadori, and recognized it as one of his students’. Quickly you reached over and answered the call.

“This is (y/n), Satoru’s-” Satoru’s what? Were you back together? Still separated? How would you explain that to his student?

“Huh? (y/n)-san? I always thought your voice would sound different,” a young man at the other side of the phone wondered. He knew who you were? Had Satoru told him about you? “Oh, this is Itadori Yūji, nice to meet you. Is Gojō -sensei there? I need to tell him something.”

“Uhm…” your eyes wandered to the sleeping man who had pulled you on top of himself, his arms still wound around your middle, his head lulled to the side. “He’s asleep. I can give him your message when he wakes up?”

“Ah, yeah. I’m not surprised he’s tired. Not every day you get sliced in two, not even for the strongest, hm?”

“Excuse me, what? Sliced in-”

“Anyway, when he wakes up,” Itadori continued, ignoring your gasp. “Tell him Fushiguro’s up. Woke up a few minutes ago.”

“Megumi-kun’s awake? Is he okay?” You could feel your hands beginning to shake.

“Yeah, he’s awake. And super pissed that he’s missing like almost 2 months of his memories. As you can see, all is well.”

“I don’t think that having forgotten about two months of your life can be classified as ‘all is well’,” you protested.

“It’s a matter of perspective really,” Itadori answered indifferently. “Oh, I think I have to go, Fushiguro’s shouting for me.”

“Okay,” you nodded. “And hey, Itadori-kun! Tell Megumi Satoru and I are happy he’s okay. Satoru was very worried.”

There was silence on the other side of the phone, before Itadori answered. “He didn’t say anything but… you had a fight, didn’t you? You and Gojō -sensei. Did you make up?”

You glanced at the man sleeping underneath you. He looked peaceful like you had rarely seen him before.

“Yeah,” you mumbled, brushing a hand through his white strands. “Yeah, we made up.”

“That’s good. I’ll let Fushiguro know you’re sending your regards!”

You were about to thank him, when there was a faint voice through the speaker, which you recognized as Megumi’s immediately.

“Tell her, they don’t have to come and visit. Gojō ’s just gonna cause trouble for the hospital staff!”

You almost laughed out loud. Megumi probably wasn’t wrong. Quickly your eyes flickered to check if your stifled laugh had woken Satoru, but he didn’t stir.

“Fushiguro wants you to know, that he’s really looking forward to you visiting with Gojō -sensei tomorrow,” Itadori giggled into the phone, making you snort again.

Again you looked down to Satoru, but he kept sleeping peacefully.

“Idiot! I said to not-”

“Okay, gotta go now, good night!”

And with that, Itadori hung up.

Turning the screen off, you placed the phone down on the table and adjusted to lay more comfortably on Satoru’s chest. You had the distinct feeling, that you didn’t understand what you had almost lost that day.

Maybe that was for the best.

Maybe you would understand one day, when you felt secure in your relationship with Satoru. But for now, you did your best to push the thoughts of Megumi in a coma, that scar around Satoru’s waist and his strange tales of sorcerers, curses and magic out of your head. For now, all you had to do was to rest your head on Satoru’s chest and fall asleep to the sound of his steady heartbeat.

tags: @delzinrowe @un-lawliet

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