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aethes-bookshelf · 2 years

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a garden of my love || alucard/reader

This one has been slowly rotating in my brain like a rotisserie chicken for a few months now, so I'm glad it's finally out of my head and actually on a page :D

Pairing: Alucard (Castlevania)/Reader

Warnings: angst, hanahaki, character death, hurt/no comfort

Word count: 3.2k

ao3 link

It was late October. Most leaves had already fallen off the trees; the only surviving ones were desperately clinging to branches, all brown and crumbly with death. The sun was shining, but the breeze made your skin prickle with goosebumps despite the warm cloak you had fastened around your shoulders. You were carrying a basket full of food. It was all still warm — steam was gently puffing from beneath the cloth you covered it all with.

It was Alucard’s birthday. So, just like all the years before, you prepared all of his favorites as a gift. You couldn’t really afford lavish clothes or books, but you had plenty of food; so, you gave him your cooking instead.

You didn’t have much — never had, not really, but that rang especially true after Dracula’s war on humanity. Your house got ransacked by night creatures, leaving you to wander from city to city, collecting scraps or hunting in the forest. One day, you ended up in Gresit.

That’s how you met him.

- - -

Judging by the stories you’d heard in your youth, Gresit was always ugly. But the recent war took that ugliness and transformed it into a picture of despair. Wherever you turned lay dead bodies, limbs spread-eagle, faces scrunched up in an eternal mask of fear. Even if you’d seen it many times before, it still made your stomach churn.

Ever since you’d lost your home, you kept yourself afloat by hunting — mostly hunting, at least. You wished you could say you’d never stolen in your life, but that would’ve been a lie. At least that wasn’t your primary way of getting food.

Usually, you ate only some of the meat from the animals you killed and sold the rest of the carcass, skin and whatever antlers included. But on that particular day, your hunt ended up a failure — most of your traps were empty and all you managed to get with your arrows were a few rabbits. Enough food for a day or two, but if you were to survive on their meat alone, you’d have to eat them all. All you’d be left with would be pelts. You knew from experience that rabbit pelts sold relatively cheap. The three you’d have left by the end of your meals wouldn’t be enough to buy the next one.

So, unfortunately, you had to settle for eating only one of the rabbits and selling the other two whole instead. Not the ideal solution, but maybe it’d get you enough money for a shitty bed in an even shittier inn. If there were any functioning ones left in this goddamned city.

On your way towards the market, you passed by a group of three strangers; two of them — a red-headed woman and a man in tattered clothes — were passionately arguing. Something about the group gave you pause.

You’d only just arrived in the city, but you’d already overheard your fair share of rumors about the battle that took place yesterday night. Apparently a speaker magician and someone thought to be a Belmont led the city’s forces against the night creatures. One of the strangers was clad in Speaker’s robes, the other one had a Belmont crest on his shirt. At least that part checked out. Who the third stranger was, the one sitting in shadow, you did not know. What you did notice about him, however, was that he was incredibly pretty. Distractingly so, almost.

Against your better judgment and possibly all kinds of common sense known to man, you walked towards them. After all, who’d want to get involved in Belmont business? Everyone knew how that ended for those unfortunate bastards; you weren’t exactly keen on getting killed by some overly religious fella with a sword like they had been.

Still, you walked on. Something in your gut told you this was the right thing to do. That maybe it was fate that led you to them that day, as ridiculous as that sounded.

‘What do you want?’ the Belmont barked in your general direction, side-eyeing you from his spot by the wall.

‘I’m not sure I know myself,’ you replied, shrugging.

‘Then be so kind and fuck off.’

‘Trevor!’ yelled the Speaker. If looks could kill, the man would’ve fallen dead on the spot.

‘What? We’re all thinking it.’

‘You’re just as charming as you look, then,’ you said. The dead rabbits you’d holstered to your belt were bleeding all over the side of your thigh. It got uncomfortable quickly in the cold breeze.

‘Could say the same thing about you.’ Trevor didn’t even bother to look up this time. He chose to marvel at all the empty bottles around them instead.

‘He does have a point though,’ said the Speaker. ‘Why did you approach us?’

‘Let’s just say I’m listening to my gut for once.’ You gestured to the bow hanging from your back. ‘You need an archer?’

- - -

After the dust settled and Trevor and Sypha left to chase adventure, you decided to stay with Alucard. Partly for your own sake — you didn’t exactly fancy the drifter lifestyle; plus, sleeping in a warm bed every night did sound really good — and partly for his. You’d been entertaining the idea of staying somewhere around Alucard ever since your little group got to Belmont Hold. But all it took for you to make that final choice was one look at his defeated expression; you’d never seen someone look as lost as he did, watching his father’s burning corpse.

So you stayed.

- - -

You gave him some space after Trevor and Sypha left. You weren’t strangers per say, but you weren’t friends either. You didn’t want to intrude. He deserved at least a few hours to himself.

Instead, you decided to forage in the nearby forest for some dinner. You’d run out of arrows during the battle, so you couldn’t hunt for now, as much as you’d like to. You managed to find some wild onions and herbs — wasn’t exactly dinner material, but if the castle had some dried meat in there somewhere, you could make something out of it.

You were about to turn back when you stumbled upon a whole bunch of beautiful apple trees. You figured they didn’t really belong to anyone, being in the middle of a forest and all. And, even if they did, the owner wouldn’t mind losing one or two apples. Or ten.

You filled up your bag with the fresh fruit; what you couldn’t fit there you carried in your shirt instead. You did drop a few of the apples on your way back to the castle, but you had enough to last relatively long. There was no point in turning back for just a couple of them.

By the time you came back, the sun was setting. You hoped those few hours of alone time did Alucard some good; and that he was ready to talk again. At least to talk long enough to make some food. You had no idea where what was in that huge castle. Let alone something like a pantry. Or a kitchen,

You circled the entire first floor looking for Alucard — no sign of him at all. The second floor, same thing. You gave up on yelling his name eventually; you didn’t want to ruin your throat.

‘I swear, if he’s huddled up somewhere in the basement, I will…’ you stopped mid-sentence when you saw light dancing beneath one of the closed doors. You sighed in relief. ‘Finally.’ You opened the door with your shoulder. ‘Hey, I went looking for some food and I found quite a few…’ you stopped again. But this time, it was for a different reason entirely.

His face was all swollen and his eyes were red-rimmed. Drying tears shone against his skin in the muted light of the fire. When he saw you come in, he tried to quickly wipe them away, but by the time he did, fresh ones started falling.

‘Oh,’ you managed to say. How eloquent of me, you thought. ‘Do you… do you want me to leave?’ you said, shoulders drooping slightly. You knew the death of his father would hit him hard — hell, you’d lost your own! — but you didn’t expect it to hit him this hard.

Then again, you hadn’t had to kill your father, so you didn’t have that much insight into his situation.

He swallowed with difficulty, snot blocking his throat. He moved to wipe the tears away again, but he stopped himself mid-way through. ‘I… I don’t know,’ he whispered, voice breaking.

You nodded and put away the apples; some of them rolled all the way to the other side of the room. ‘Okay.’ You cleared your throat. ‘How about we just… sit together for a while? And then you decide if you’d like me to go or to stay, or if you’d want to talk, we can do just that, okay? Or, well, I can do just that. The leaving part, anyway.’

He chuckled; the sound was unusually wet. ‘You’re awful at this.’

You sighed, resting your hands on your hips. ‘I know. Part of my charm, I suppose,’ you said, and sat on the floor next to him, with your back to the wall.

He smiled a sad, gentle smile. ‘I suppose so too.’

- - -

Years had passed since. And, in the meantime, the birthday feast became a tradition. It was your idea — he hadn’t even thought about celebrating his birthday since his parents’ deaths; something told you that had it not been for you, he’d probably never celebrate it again.

So, every year, without fail, you presented him with a tablefull of delicious treats. In the second year of you living together, Trevor and Sypha visited and stayed long enough to take part in this little celebration. In the third year, the two of you stumbled upon two lost hunters creeping in the forest. What happened after became a taboo, an unspeakable secret worn on Alucard’s skin. In year three, you realized that your devotion to him might be a lot more than you’d like it to be.

In year four, he met Greta.

She was wonderful in every sense of the word. Strong, brave, smart, funny. She made a great friend to both him and you, and a great leader to her people. One of your sweetest memories was sitting with her in the kitchen late at night, a pint of beer in your hands and laughter on your lips. The other one was helping her and the villagers built their new homes around the castle.

You’d be stupid not to notice the way he looked at her.

Ever since you’d realized what your feelings for him were, you decided to push them all down. After everything he’d been through your… attraction would only bring him pain. And that was the last thing you wanted for him. Besides, being someone close enough to him to be called his friend was an honor, you told yourself. Lover or not, he was the most important person in your life and you’d never risk ruining all of that over a stupid crush. It would pass, like they all always had.

So, you let time run its course. You watched Alucard and Greta get close and, despite the dull pang in your chest, you were genuinely happy for them.

After all, they were perfect for each other.

In year five, they finally got engaged. That’s when it all went to hell.

The whole village celebrated the news. All the hunters went out to the forest and all brought something back — yourself included. There was a huge bonfire and enough meat to feed everyone and then some. There was dancing, singing, music. Alcohol poured out of every corner. Everyone was giddy with laughter. Especially the freshly engaged couple — both of them with crowns of freshly picked flowers on their heads. You helped the children make them as gifts.

Everything was perfect. So, so perfect. You got drunk enough to get nauseous. You managed to stumble your way to a nearby bush to puke. You were too out of it to notice the petals swimming in the putrid liquid.

- - -

By the next day, the cough started. You chalked it up to a bad cold and moved on. Alucard was a bit worried when he noticed how pale you were, but you quickly dismissed him, telling him to go back to Greta. You were fine, a little cough wasn’t going to kill you.

Was it now?

A few weeks passed by, but the cough wasn’t getting any better. Quite the opposite, actually. Eventually it got to the point where you had to take a breather after walking up to your castle room. Luckily enough, no one noticed. You were sure it would pass if you just gave it enough time.

Then, the pain came. Sometimes it felt like something stabbing itself into the inside of your chest, sometimes it felt more like a pressure, rising until you could barely catch a breath.

That’s when Alucard decided that enough was enough. He forcibly got you to bed and ordered you to stay put until he figured out what was wrong with you.

Like hell you were gonna do that. Not after the petals you coughed up into your hand.

You ended up sneaking into the great, expansive library of the castle. After all, if you were to find an answer anywhere, it would be there. Or in the Belmont Hold, but that was plan B because of all the walking.

Night after night, you poured over books in hopes of finding an answer. The sleepless nights were starting to get to you. You tried to sleep as much as you could during the day, but your illness — whatever it was — wasn’t exactly helping with your tiredness.

‘What the hell do you do at night, exactly?’ asked Alucard, after changing the cold compress on your forehead.

‘What do you mean?’

‘Don’t play dumb with me. You’re tired as all hell. And you shouldn’t be, if you really were sleeping both at night and during the day.’

‘I’m sick…!’ you protested weakly; judging by his expression, that excuse didn’t work.

‘Sure.’ He cocked a brow. ‘If you don’t want to tell me now, don’t. But don’t expect me to just let you do whatever when you’re this ill. You’re not just my friend, you’re my patient as well.’ He took the basin of cold water from the dresser and rested it on his hip. ‘I won’t let you run yourself into the ground because of whatever it is you do at night.’

You huffed a breath. When he realized you weren’t going to answer him, he sighed through his nose.

‘I mean it. Take care of yourself, please. We’re all worried about you.’

‘I know,’ you said, voice hoarse. ‘I’m sorry.’

‘Nothing to be sorry for. Just, please, actually sleep at night.’

- - -

The night after that, you finally found your answer. Sitting on the ground, skimming a very old, very tattered book. The writing was so worn it was barely readable in the candlelight.

What you were suffering from was a kind of curse. At least according to the book. It befell those who were unhappily in love. You frowned at that. Love was a bit of a strong word, wasn’t it? Sure, you were fond of Alucard, but love? A bit of a stretch. Right?

‘There you are,’ said Alucard. His sudden appearance made you jump; the books around you fell onto the ground with a thud.

‘Don’t scare me like that!’ You hadn’t even heard him approach.

‘Oh, please.’ He rolled his eyes. ‘I’m losing sleep at night because you keep getting worse no matter what I do, and you’re sneaking into the library?’

You swallowed the petals threatening to spill out of your throat. ‘I’m looking for answers.’

‘Answers to what, exactly?’

‘To what’s wrong with me.’ You sighed and closed the book, hoping to whatever god was up there that he hadn't seen the page you were on. ‘No medicine is working, so I thought I’d do some… research myself.’

‘And did you find anything?’

You bit the inside of your cheek, weighing your options. Eventually, you settled on an answer. ‘No, not really.’

‘Then please, go back to bed and leave the research to me, okay?’ he said, kneeling on the floor next to you. ‘No need to push yourself like that.’

‘You’re right,’ you replied with a sigh, putting the book away.

One line burned itself into your mind; no cure.

- - -

And now, nearly half a year later, you were slowly trekking from the castle to Alucard and Greta’s new ‘office’; at least that’s what they called it. Initially, it was supposed to be the village’s control center, but, with time, it turned into their second house. They were spending more time there than in their castle chambers these days.

You expected Alucard to yell at you for doing all that cooking. You could hear him already. ‘You shouldn’t have done that’ and ‘Think of your health!’, and ‘You’re already weak as it is, what if something happened to you?’. To be perfectly honest, you found the way he worried about you so much quite endearing. It made you glad that, despite him being happily married, you still held an important spot in his heart.

You couldn’t say the same about some of your before-the-war friends, may the earth be light for them.

The basket was getting quite heavy though. As much as you wanted to deny it, it dug into your skin more and more with every step. The golden honeysuckles threatening to burst out of your chest certainly didn’t make anything easier.

Apparently they meant ‘devoted affection’ in the language of flowers. Well, at least that much was true when it came to your feelings for Alucard. Although you weren’t entirely sure if the kind of flowers really meant anything in the case of your curse. Maybe adding meaning to it all simply made your illness a bit easier to stomach for you. Maybe not.

The spot where the basket handle dug into your arm was starting to really hurt. Before this curse, your arms were something you were proud of — strong and reliable, the arms of a true archer. Now that all of your glory had been eaten away by the curse, all that remained of your previous profession were the calluses on your hands; eternal proof of what you used to be.

You started choking on your breath. Your legs dragged across the dirt road, leaving deep trenches in the fresh mud. Still, you pressed on. You were that much closer to Alucard and Greta’s new house. You weren’t going to give up now. Not when this could be the last birthday feast you’d ever throw for him.

Sweat dripped down your face. Some of it got into your eyes; the stinging blinded you for a moment. As you moved to wipe the sweat away, you lost footing on the slippery mud. You fell to the ground with a heavy thud, the side of your head colliding with a rock.

Blood pooled around you, drenching the warm food that spilled out of the basket you were cradling in your arms. And beside it all was a single, dirtied petal of honeysuckle.

The wind blew. The petal flew with it.

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