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#happens all the time at school too.
non-un-topo · 5 months
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Have to thank my partner for realizing before I did that talking about kids with people makes me extremely dysphoric --- whereas I thought I just had a problem and hated children or something lol
#you can't really start a sentence with 'i don't hate children--' though.#do i... like them..? ehh they're fine on their own. i just don't like to be around them for very long. they freak me out.#but mostly it's parents who freak me out. or people who aren't parents yet but kids are all they talk about#(cough) my sister-in-law.#it's not ALL she talks about but she does happen to bring children up an awful lot around me. and uhh i have bad news for her.#anyway i feel like the worst person on earth but my gut reaction when i hear people talking about kids is to just get pissed off#or roll my eyes or want to leave the conversation STAT. like my flight instinct takes over.#so it was my partner who figured out that these conversations activate my dysphoria like a nuclear bomb.#dysphoria has manifested in the form of irritation for me this year. same with depression. i just feel angry and annoyed all the time#plus a bit of despair. and it gets more intense with every passing month.#my sister has decided to work in childcare and is doing a placement. she also updates me on every single thing she does in a day -#- down to how many times she shits. i wish i was kidding.#so i get a constant feed of what these random children did in a day (yesterday a girl showed my sister her poop lol)#and it would be funny and fine if it didn't make me want to jump out of my gd skin.#happens all the time at school too.#'whaaaaaaaat you don't want BAABIIEEES?? but you'd make such a good mom!!!'#ahaha No i would not thank you. jesus christ please no thank you. please.#i'm a father figure to a few of my friends and it's the best feeling in the world. that's all i need.#conversations like that always trap me. i feel like a fucking rabbit. stuck with all the aunties in the kitchen.#so i have to be a dick and not offer to clear the plates because none of the men are clearing the plates.#just........ Gender. UGH!!
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liquidstar · 6 months
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If my mom sees a significant amount of blood she gets lightheaded, and has fainted on some occasions. Once it happened when we were kids, I wasn't there to witness it but I heard the story from my dad. Basically my brothers, around 7 or 8 at the time, were playing outside while my mom was making their lunch, and she accidentally cut her finger. It wasn't anything serious, but it drew a fair bit of blood and she passed out. My dad saw this and rushed over, but he didn't really know what to do so he just sort of started slapping her to wake her up (not recommended, but he had no idea and panicked)
At that exact moment my brothers both came in from playing, and all they saw was our mom unconscious on the floor and our dad slapping her. So, like, without even saying a word to each other they both just INSTANTLY start whaling on him, like, full blown attack mode to defend our mom. Which obviously didn't help the situation, but she did wake up and everything was fine.
Now our dad says that he's actually really glad they attacked him over what they thought was going on, because it means he raised good boys. And I still think that's true, they're very good boys.
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Hello may 31th anon! Look at that, another year behind us and a new one to come. Have a nice day! ₍՞◌′ᵕ‵ू◌₎♡
#may 31th anon#hello friends!! (。’▽’。)♡ how are you!! I missed you so much!#I'm sorry that once again i have not been posting but I did that thing again where I got scared of posting#I do not know why but it is the same with physical paper diarys#I have 3 diarys and they all have 1 entry#I think one just says 'I am ten'#what have you been up to!! did you do something fun? is it summer too where you live? c:#my tumblr messages seem to be broken! I'm sorry if you wrote something :C it just says 'no new messages' despite also saying new messages#not a lot has happened here! I got a tomato plant and then I got very invested into the tomato plant and I have eaten three tomatos so far (#my roses are also doing well!! I just got a new yellow rose and since she got here she only made orange flowers#I do not know the meaning of that#but I am very thankful! ( ˊᵕˋ )♡ I love it when things are orange!!#I've been trying to buy an orange shirt for the past 2 weeks but they always sell out before I get to them#I'm also thinking about buying a jean jacket#I have not worn a jean jacket for at least 15 years because one time in 7th grade  tthe girl behind me said#that I was wearing a cool jean jacket and I just assumed that this was bullying for no actual reason#but maybe she just thought that it was an acutal cool jean jacket#we'll soon have out 10 year school reunion#maybe I should ask her#is anyone else going to a secret Sherlock phase again#I just want to see that silly little hat again#would sherlock holmes wear a jean jacket#have a nice day everyone!!#see you soon hopefully!!#♡^▽^♡
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mozzaremi · 16 days
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raveartts · 8 months
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turt
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itspileofgoodthings · 4 months
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one of my fave things about teaching is that I’m NOT a counselor and I don’t have to get into the weeds with a student but also I’m part of their life every day and i see when they’re struggling and I can ask how them how they’re doing and make sure that they know I see them on a steady, daily basis and it will be healing for both of us
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wrylu · 4 days
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i nEed to get my life together
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even-disco-baby · 2 years
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YOU — “Did you become a gardener because of your grandmother?”
THE GARDENER — She looks taken aback by your question. “I’m sorry?”
YOU — “Your grandmother who taught you about the nutrients in the snow.”
THE GARDENER — “I got that part, thanks. I just…” She shakes her head with a quiet breath.
EMPATHY — She just thought it was a strange question for a cop to ask.
THE GARDENER — “Yes, it was because of her.” Her expression flickers just slightly. “*For* her…”
DRAMA — There’s more to this cute grandma story, sire.
AUTHORITY — Who cares about her grandma? Tell her to cut the bullshit and stop wasting your time already!
“Cool. Sorry, I don’t know why I asked you that. I actually don’t care that much.”
“Okay, let’s cut the bullshit. Are you really a gardener?”
“You sound sad.”
THE GARDENER — “Do I?” She smiles shyly. “Sorry. I was getting nostalgic.”
DRAMA — She’s laying it on a little thick, but she isn’t lying. You touched a nerve.
YOU — “Was she a gardener, too?”
THE GARDENER — “…She wanted to be,” she says, her voice measured. “But we rarely end up where we want to be, wouldn’t you say?”
INLAND EMPIRE — Yes. You would. You don’t even remember where or who you hoped to be, but it can’t have been anything like *this.* No one would ever want to be you.
“Yeah. You’re right. I mean, look at *me.* I hope I didn’t end up like this intentionally. That would be pretty weird.”
“Hey, it’s never too late to give it a shot.”
THE GARDENER — “I mean, it is for her,” she says drily. “She’s dead.”
EMPATHY — Oh.
YOU — “Oh.”
THE GARDENER — “Why are you asking so many questions about my grandmother, anyway? I can assure you she didn’t put that body in the tree. On account of being dead.”
“You never can tell. She could have faked her death. I have to explore every possibility. I’m told that’s what detectives do. And also that I’m a detective.”
“Okay, you got me, I don’t actually care about your grandma. I care about why you’re spying on us.”
“Just curious. It sounds like she meant a lot to you.”
THE GARDENER — Her expression flickers again, almost imperceptibly.
COMPOSURE — She’s trained herself well to keep a straight face. Strange for a gardener.
THE GARDENER — “…She still does,” she admits quietly. “She gave up her home and her garden to take care of me. And then worked herself to death, quite literally.”
EMPATHY — There’s bitterness in her voice, but not toward her grandmother. More likely toward the job that wore her down to nothing.
ELECTROCHEMISTRY — Without the speed and the nicotine and the booze to smooth out all those harsh edges, you would have been worn down to nothing by now, too.
“That’s the economy for you. She should have worked on her hustle.”
“I totally understand. Being a cop is really hard.”
“Well, at least *you* ended up where you wanted to be. I’m sure she’d be glad that you became a gardener.”
THE GARDENER — Slowly, like the snow on the breeze, her gaze falls from you to her gloved hands. Her face is still as stone.
“Yes,” she says hollowly. “She would.”
EMPATHY — And that’s what makes it all so much harder.
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spacecrows · 7 months
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me (diagnosed with ADHD): *talks about little funny/annoying things my brain does (because of the ADHD)* my mom (not diagnosed with anything): wow that's so funny, the exact same thing happens to me too! i've never heard anyone else describe that. so random that you get that too. genetics, huh? :))
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silenthillbunni · 4 days
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🐰🌧️
#so on my way home..#i walked by a school and besides the fact that i felt so depressed bc just looking at these kids and adults i have NO hope for the future#i saw two boys on a bench as i walked by... and i just thought they were talking. and too late i realized that no one of the boys were#bullying the other boy. the bully walked away and the other boy just sat there looking so lifeless and dejected#a teacher came and sat down w that boy and i just kept walking. even if i wanted to say smth it's like what would i even do abt that situati#that made me so sad both bc that boy.. he looked so dejected and used to it. that anxiety going to school knowing you're bullied is awful#and like i imagined talking to him and saying heyyy if you're lucky you'll grow up to be 25yrs old#live like a parasite off your mom and be on wellfare and never have had a job :)#you'll have no education or highschool diploma :) you will still struggle to finish hs even at an easier level :)#you will also not have had friends in 10yrs and you'll be terrified of ppl and getting close to anyone and even going outside!!#you'll have no interests and hobbies and skills! you'll simply be a waste of space loser being a burden on everyone around u!#whoop whoop stay alive buddy it will only get worse ❤️#god i just wanna cry. how did i let my life turn out this way??? i used to be full of dreams and life and passion and HOPE#i used to believe in things and in people. i had so many dreams and i wanted to try and do so many things#now all i can think is 'i wanna die i wanna die i wanna die'. im miserable wherever i go lmao#there's this bridge over the highway i have to cross when i walk to school and every time i look down at the trafic and when a truck drives#by i feel my entire body vibrate. i just wanna jump and get mauled by it.#or i dont *want* to but i feel so deeply and desperately that it's the only way for me#only way to make it stop hurting. and i am weak. i dont know how to just 'stop' or take control of my life. thats why i wanna die#bc i know that i wont be able to. that my life will never amount to anything#for fuck's sake my dream now is just to have my own 1bedroom apartment and have a shitty job - like in a grocery store or whatever!!!!!#not even that can i make happen! bc im so worthless i cant do anything. im also stupid so i wouldnt be able to do my job right#i dont know... i dont know... these feelings and thoughts are too much i just wanna relax#but i cant bc my ribs hurt and idk if it's heartburn or an ulcer 💀 why am i even alive???? what am i doing all this for? 😭#my thoughts ran away but i meant like seeing that reminded me of how much of a failure i became#bc of my circumstances and all the shitty ppl around me thru out my life
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legolasghosty · 2 months
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I Belong in Your Arms
Happy JATP Feb Fan Fest day!!!! This is my gift for @interestinglittlerelationship! Hope you enjoy! (Also sorry I'm a bit late!)
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Relationship - Willex Rating - Teen Additional Tags - Foster Care AU, Friends to lovers (mainly friends at this point), hurt/comfort, heavy on the comfort!
Summary -
Alex takes a right at the prompting of his phone and spots the hanging sign for Bohemia Roast. A grin spreads across his face when he spots a familiar figure lounging on a table just outside the cafe. He debates trying to sneak up on them for a second, but decides against it. The accidental elbow he got to the ribs last time he tried makes a solid case against it. “Willie!” he calls out instead, tucking his phone into his pocket. Willie looks up and Alex can see the exact moment he spots him, because his whole face lights up. Alex is still a good ten feet away when Willie rushes him, nearly bowling them both over onto the sidewalk with the force of his hug. Alex squeezes them back just as tightly. It’s been way too long since they’ve actually seen each other in person. 
Read Here on AO3, or read the whole fic below the cut!
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Alex hurries to the front of the bus, shooting a quick smile and a “Thank you” to the driver before stepping off onto the sidewalk. He’s 99% sure this is the right stop. Well. Okay, more like 64% sure, but that’s just the anxiety talking. His phone buzzes in his hand, telling him to go left. If Google can be trusted, his destination is only a five-minute walk away.
He turns and starts down the sidewalk. The sun is bright above him, even though it’s the middle of October. He ducks around a young couple taking pictures with some celebrity impersonator with a flashy white wig. Seriously? He hadn’t realized that was still a thing that happened outside of theme parks. Though maybe Hollywood is a bit like a theme park. It would explain a thing or two.
Alex takes a right at the prompting of his phone and spots the hanging sign for Bohemia Roast. A grin spreads across his face when he spots a familiar figure lounging on a table just outside the cafe. He debates trying to sneak up on them for a second, but decides against it. The accidental elbow he got to the ribs last time he tried makes a solid case against it. 
“Willie!” he calls out instead, tucking his phone into his pocket.
Willie looks up and Alex can see the exact moment he spots him, because his whole face lights up. Alex is still a good ten feet away when Willie rushes him, nearly bowling them both over onto the sidewalk with the force of his hug. Alex squeezes them back just as tightly. It’s been way too long since they’ve actually seen each other in person. 
“Your hair’s longer,” Alex mumbles without letting go, those same strands tickling his nose.
“You still have this hoodie,” Willie responds, his fingers tugging on the pink fabric.
“Someone told me pink was my color,” Alex snarks.
“That person must be a genius,” Willie says, chuckling. “I missed you,” he adds a moment later.
“I missed you too.”
Alex doesn’t bother saying more than that, not yet. Right now, he can just soak up Willie’s warmth and familiar presence. Sure, Willie’s hair is a bit longer, and Alex is taller than him now, but they’re still the same people they were a few years ago when they met. And even though they haven’t seen each other all that often since Alex got moved out of the group home after a couple of weeks, they’ve still been in each others’ corners ever since that first night.
Eventually, Willie relaxes a bit and Alex pulls back. “So,” Willie starts with a smirk, “what brings you to Hollywood?”
“Oh, all the famous people,” Alex jokes. “I think I even saw Marilyn Monroe back there.”
“Wow, de-aging technology has gotten so fancy,” Willie retorts with a laugh. “Hasn’t she been dead for like… a while?”
Alex shrugs, faining innocence. “I’m just telling you what I saw.”
Willie stares at him for a second before they both burst into giggles. It feels good, laughing with Willie again. In person, not over the phone.
“Come on, you have got to try this place’s iced teas,” Willie declares.
Alex just grins as Willie grabs his hand and pulls him into the little cafe. The interior is warm and cozy, lit largely by the sunlight that streams in through the front windows. Shelves along one wall hold a mix of plants and in-house coffee blends. The rest of the space is taken up by stools and tables, along with a couple of couches. The place is just the right level of loud, enough that Alex can feel the life flowing around him but not enough that he feels the need to shout. 
“Okay I know I said tea,” Willie says as they approach the counter, “but no pressure there. What do you want?”
Alex inhales the scent of fresh coffee. It smells great… for another time. “No I think I’m with you in the tea club today,” he responds. “Dan and Judy are nice and all, but I swear coffee is the only thing they drink. Period. I haven’t had a decent iced tea in like six months.”
Willie nods. “Makes sense, they sound like coffee people.” They glance up at the menu board. “I was going to try the passion fruit one this time, but the strawberry citrus I had last time was sick.”
“I’ll trust your judgment,” Alex agrees, swinging their still joined hands back and forth a bit. “Hasn’t steered me wrong yet.” He pauses, thinking. “Well, okay, except for that sushi thing. And Thor whatever number the last one was. And that dog that-”
“Hey, that last one is Google’s doing,” Willie protests, cutting him off. “I just gave you what the top search result was.”
“Yeah and then I got bit by a freaking lapdog,” Alex retorts, a laugh bubbling up behind his words.
“Wow, ‘freaking’?” Willie teases back. “Someone’s working on their language.”
Alex groans and drops his forehead down on their shoulder. “Dan and Judy blow a gasket whenever I say anything even remotely connected to a swear word,” he explains. “Like, come on, if you’re gonna be foster parents, you’ve got to be able to manage kids that come from homes where swearing is a thing.”
Willie winces sympathetically. “That’s rough, dude. You should leave them a nasty review on Rate My Foster Parent.”
“That’s not a real site,” Alex mumbles, but a smile is starting to pull at his lips again.
“But it could be,” Willie counters.
Alex rolls his eyes, then smirks. “Oh but how would lovely individuals like Ms. Hannigan ever stay in business then?” he retorts.
Willie shudders. “All the more reason for it to be a thing,” they decide. “I had to watch the 2014 Annie way too many times with Lydia while I was with the Bennets.”
“You have a point,” Alex concedes as the person in front of them finishes ordering and steps away.
“What can I get for y’all?” the woman behind the counter asks with a friendly smile.
“I think we’re in the market for iced tea,” Willie responds. 
He mirrors the barista’s grin, but it’s not the same as the easy one he’d been wearing a moment ago. It’s a bit tighter around the edges, lips closer together and fewer crinkles around his eyes. Alex is familiar with having different smiles for different situations of course, he probably has half a dozen himself. And Willie’s “I’m being polite” smile isn’t nearly as distinctive as it was three years ago when they met, which is a good sign. But still, Alex wishes he could lift some of the weight that pulls at their face when they’re pretending to be happy, but not sure if they’re allowed to exist. 
“And you said the strawberry citrus, right?”
Alex starts, realizing he zoned out for a second. “Yeah, that one,” he tells Willie. He gets a glimpse of the real smile again at that. It makes him feel all light inside, just like it always has.
Willie finishes ordering and reaches for his wallet.
“No it’s cool, I got it,” Alex says, hand slipping into his own pocket.
“Nah, Caleb gave me an allowance for this kind of stuff,” Willie responds, pulling out a $10 bill. “I think he’s trying to teach me financial responsibility or something.”
Alex shoots him a questioning glance. Willie’s eyes say, talk about it later. So Alex lets it go and just drops a $1 in the tip jar. The woman tells them it will be right out, so they head over to the other end of the counter. Alex leans back against one of the tall tables to wait. 
He’s a bit startled a moment later by a warm arm pressing against his own. He glances over to see Willie almost leaning on him, arms folded protectively and eyes fixed on the people behind the counter. Alex can’t help but remember all the times Willie grabbed his hand or pressed their feet together under the table or wrapped him in a hug back when they were in the same foster home. It had been nice back then, but 13-year-old Alex hadn’t considered why that was Willie’s first instinct for helping him. Heck, he hadn’t even heard of love languages till around a year ago.
Alex hesitates, then wraps his arm loosely around Willie’s shoulders. They don’t pull away, to Alex’s relief. Instead, Willie edges a bit closer, shoulders relaxing a little. Alex fights the urge to brush his lips against their cheek, just to see if that would make the real smile come back faster.
Neither of them stirs for a few minutes. The cafe continues to move around them but it doesn’t touch them. They just stay in their little bubble as they wait for their teas. They could be talking, but it’s nice to be quiet every once in a while with someone you love.
Eventually someone calls Willie’s name and slides their drinks across the counter. Willie darts forward, grabs the cups, and is back in front of Alex within moments. “Inside or outside?” he asks, grinning.
Alex glances out the window. “It’s still warm enough for outside,” he decides, taking his cup and grabbing Willie’s now-free hand.
“I don’t know, you might catch a chill, white boy,” Willie teases, following him out to the table where he’d been waiting earlier. 
“Eh maybe I won’t get yelled at for not going to church on Sunday then,” Alex jokes.
Willie frowns and Alex regrets his words. “They shouldn’t be yelling at you,” Willie points out softly. “Especially not for that.”
Alex shrugs. “Yeah, they shouldn’t,” he agrees. “But there’s not much I can do about it.”
Willie nods and squeezes his hand. They have to let go of each other as they sit down on either side of a small, wooden table, but Alex brushes his toes against Willie’s, just to keep the contact he knows is nice for them both.
“So, tell me all about-” Alex sets down his cup to throw up some jazz hands, “-Caleb Covington?”
Willie giggles. “Yep I guess that is how I text about him, isn’t it,” they remark.
“There are sparkles around his name like every other time,” Alex confirms, laughing.
“And I stand by it,” Willie states. “This guy is very extra. But… not in a bad way? I don’t think?”
Alex leans forward, resting his elbows on the table to listen. “I mean he did give you coffee money,” he points out. “Isn’t that stuff supposed to stunt your growth or something?”
“If I didn’t already know that was a myth, I’d believe it now,” Willie responds. “I swear Caleb drinks like half a pot of the stuff with breakfast and he’s like six-three or something.”
Alex laughs. “So what you’re saying is that you need something else to blame for being shorter than me now?”
“Guess so,” Willie says, nodding. They don’t say anything else for a moment and Alex waits, knowing by now that sometimes they just need a minute to collect their thoughts. “He’s cool so far,” Willie says finally, a bit softer than before. “And he’s gay, which is nice. I haven’t met his boyfriend yet, but he sounds chill from what Caleb says.”
“That’s great, Wills,” Alex remarks, offering an encouraging smile. 
“Yeah, he’s like the chillest foster parent I’ve ever had with all that,” Willie agrees. “He even… um… he mentioned we might even be able to get the legal stuff squared away so I can start HRT if everything goes okay with the GP next month.”
Alex can’t help the surprised laugh that escapes him. “Willie, that’s awesome!” he declares, grabbing Willie’s hand again. “You’ve been wanting that for like… ever.”
Willie nods and offers a hopeful smile. “Well cross your fingers for me,” they answer. “I mean… I don’t know if I’ll last long enough for that to actually happen.”
Alex immediately reaches across the table and latches onto their other hand as well, making Willie look up at him. “Hey, no,” Alex says quietly. “No blaming yourself for any of that. It’s not on you to make yourself this perfect kid that fits with all the random expectations of stupid white people. They knew they weren’t going to get perfect kids when they registered to be foster parents. Heck, they signed up for not-perfect kids when they decided they wanted to have any kids at all. Other peoples’ bad choices and reactions aren’t your fault.”
Willie bites his lip but nods again. “Yeah. I know that,” he says. Alex isn’t fully convinced, but he doesn’t push it. “It just sucks that I’m the one who gets screwed up after.”
“Yeah, it does.” Alex squeezes Willie’s hands, then lets go of one to take a sip of his tea. “Oh dang, this is awesome,” he remarks.
Willie grins, not all the way but close enough to make Alex feel fluttery. “Right? I don’t know what kind of crack they put in these, but it’s seriously addictive.”
“Yes,” Alex responds, pointing at him before taking another swallow. “How’s yours?”
“Sick,” Willie says. He sips at his drink again, then adds, “Caleb apparently comes here a lot. It’s not that far from where he works so he’ll come here on lunch breaks or something sometimes?”
“I probably would too if I was close enough,” Alex admits.
“Same. But he brought me here like the day after I moved in, something about serious conversations requiring caffeine. But said ‘serious conversations’ were all like… what kind of breakfast food do I like? And favorite movies? And allergies, even though I’m pretty sure that’s already in my file or whatever?”
“Sounds like my level of serious conversation,” Alex says, chuckling. “But I think I’m starting to see what you meant before about him being extra…”
Willie laughs. “Yeah, he’s just like that I guess. I mean he runs this fancy club place on Sunset Boulevard, so I guess it checks out. The place kinda sounds like an old speak-easy sometimes from how he talks about it.”
“Good think alcohol isn’t illegal anymore then,” Alex jokes.
“Man, I don’t think he’d get caught even if it was,” Willie responds. “He’s like scarily good at talking people into things. These couple of missionary dudes showed up at our door last week and I’m pretty sure Caleb had them questioning their own fancy book by the time they left.”
Alex smirks. “Serves them right.” He falls silent for a moment, sipping his drink. “So you like it there?” he asks.
Willie bites his lip again and nods. “Yeah, I do. And I’m scared I’m gonna mess it up. That I’ll drive him away.”
Alex laces their fingers together a little more securely. “Well whatever happens, I’ll still follow you,” he promises, just like he has dozens of times over the last few years.
Willie smiles, a bit shaky but so real and honest that it makes Alex’s face warm in its glow. “You too,” they reply easily. “We’ll figure it out.”
“One day at a time,” Alex finishes.
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penwrythe · 6 months
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Learning how to be comfortable with being uncomfortable is important. I'm genuinely not okay when I hear, see, and research more about the genocide happening in Gaza, the history of Israel's founding, and its terroristic actions. It is important for me to know.
Taking short breaks (usually a couple of hours or so) does help when things get too much. Then, I return and continue engaging with reblogs on Palestine.
I really don't know what else to say, but this genocide must end. All genocides must end and must never happen again. Keep talking about Palestine, Armenia, Congo, and Sudan! Keep protesting! Keep fighting!
What is important now is to be as loud as you can be! Raise ruckus! Make your voice unavoidable! Be as annoying as possible! Do not let your representatives ignore this!
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crescentfool · 5 months
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with the year coming to a close, i hope that anyone who's reflecting about how the year went remembers to be kind and fair to themselves with how you evaluate the year as a whole.
i think there are definitely times when life throws things that are... Not So Great at you. whether if it's some external circumstance that surprised you, or maybe your mentality wasn't at it's best. i wish for anyone who's encountered those kinds of challenges to be able to triumph over them and be able to say that they got through it.
heck, it might still be a work in progress even though you've kept chipping away at it, and that's ok! the results will show themselves eventually as you work through it! and i hope that we can all remember to be patient with ourselves as we go through these processes (learning, healing, etc.), because damn, it can be frustrating when you feel like you're "not there yet."
knowing that life can be rough at times, i think it's unfair to yourself (and others) to discount and downplay any progress you've made this year- whether if it's something that you did for the first time, or maybe you came to a new understanding and insight that you didn't have in the previous year.
it's not to say that you should undermine the validity of your experience with hardship, but to take the time to remind yourself what makes life worth living. to recall what moments were the most satisfying to you- and use it to strengthen your resolve for the next year and beyond. no amount of hardship will ever take away from the fact that you deserve to have hope that things will get better.
i hope that looking back on the year, you don't leave out the things you cherish. that you can remember the good that came this year. whether if the small victories are things like meeting someone new, trying something out for the first time, or making some strides in a long-term project/obligation...!
i wish everyone a happy new year! may it be prosperous, and that your life can move in a direction that's close to what you want out of life. you're all going to do great! remember to congratulate yourself for what you did well! despite everything, you're still here, and that's wonderful. never forget that!
#lizzy speaks#hello everyone. i know that there are *checks calendar* still 20 days left of december and 2023#but i've had a lot of strong emotions and feelings i've had to sort through as i've been thinking about how 2023 went for me#so a lot of what i've written here comes from the perspective of someone in their early 20s#it's like... a crash and burn from when you were a teenager thinking that you know everything#and realizing how big the world is and how many responsibilities there are#all while a feeling of overwhelm looms over as you try to sift your way through the world and adjust your understanding of it#for me i've definitely had an underlying thought that 'you should have your shit together by now why aren't you there yet'#and it's! not motivating! at all! to think that way. and it's made me more than ever want to be a friend to myself. to extend a patient-#kind voice to myself that reminds me that others are also trying to navigate these feelings and to accept that i'm not going to have an-#instantaneous understanding of how one goes about adulthood. and neither will they. even if they look 'put together.'#like... these people have also undergone similar stresses and along the way figured out how to navigate through that space#and personally i've found peace in knowing that there are people who are older than me. trusting that they've dealt with these things too i#some shape or form and that them living... being here.. is proof that we shall be fine in the end and that we will move past what plagues-#our mind. there's definitely been some... anger i've had this year that. school didnt teach me these things or skills!! i was so mad lol#but hey if we are little guys who are living on planet earth for the first time we shouldn't condemn ourselves to an unrealistic standard-#of going through life and being able to instantly do everything 'correctly' and know how everything works#i'm still working on improving that patience... and also trying to put in the work to understand these things.#in the midst of a very tough week for me i was tempted to say that 'nothing happened this year it was not productive'#but then i was like. that's. objectively not true if you just look at other things. also theres worth in life outside of 'productivity'#...i think i passed 20 tags at this point. but like. my favorite thing about 2023 was meeting so many cool awesome people!#who would've known that funny lil squid game could bring so many connections and friendships i cherish!#thank you so much! for being a part of my life and changing me for the better! for giving me many fond memories!#and i'm very grateful to anyone who supported me and my art this year... for sticking around even though i wished i could do more#it means the world to me knowing that there's proof that i exist and have touched someone's life in a positive way! thank you! truly!#ANYWAY. happy early new year. i hope everyone can nourish a friend in their head that extends acceptance and patience to themselves#as we try and make sense of the world together. there will be things that we don't understand yet! but one day we will! and it'll be like#wow! look how far i came! i'm okay! i'm alive! yipee! thank you for reading this post i made to get my feelings out! have a nice day!
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casualavocados · 1 year
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tbh the whole show comes across as very sincere and earnest and silly and pays honest tribute to the dramatics of high school life!!! how huge and important everything feels in the moment, but then blows over easily once it's been faced? idk something abt that is just so delightful to watch it's so real
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yuriyuruandyuraart · 8 months
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YOOO i'm FINALLY home y'all!!! :D don't get too excited tho cause school is starting tomorrow for me so it's back to exam hell once again SOBS
i honestly missed traveling and visiting relatives but boy was this trip exhausting >:'D hope i didn't miss out on too much fun tho!! i have so many mentions in my notifications omgg please bear with my slow pace while i readjust hhh xD<33333
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