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#have 3 more sections to go
non-stop-imagines · 9 months
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🫧 here! ooo can you tease us with one ( or maybe a hundred 😂) more sentence? ( if you want to ofc<3) 🫢
I think you guys may have earn another small snippet (Translation: I honestly was thinking about doing this anyway so thank you for giving me a reason to 😚😚)
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"Well, do you want to go talk about it?" Max had quickly missed your touch once you were done fixing him up, so, upon his proposition, he reached out to touch your elbow, dipping his head a little to look into your eyes.
"No, no. I'll be fine. You're probably busy, anyway." You look towards the people Max was talking to the moment before you entered, their eyes urging Max back over.
"They can wait. It's Thursday, we have all day." Max looks over to the people now, his face not visible from the angle you looked at him but you were able to see annoyance and slight fright in their eyes before they turn and go on to do some other pre-race weekend task.
"Oh, okay." You don't know when Max got a grasp on your hand, but as quick as you answered you were being guided in the direction opposite of the open Red Bull garage leading to the pitlane. The short walk was wordless, but you could feel that Max's aura was…unwelcoming as you two walked by people that would have stopped him if they didn't feel like he would have bitten their head off. Max reaches a door that he quickly opens and shuts and then, almost as if he were two different people, his demeanor softens as he nervously grabs two chairs so you two could sit facing each other.
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2bschinmole · 7 months
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Dear Final Fantasy XIV and Drakennier fans:
I find it hilarious how often I either see someone in chat in the Nier alliance raids ask if playing the drakennier series will clear up any confusion from the mess that is the plot/lore of the alliance raids and myself and two to three other nier fans chime in to say that no, no it doesn’t.
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cicadaknight · 9 months
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Finished binding volume 1 of Becoming Whole!
@pikapeppa thank you for being so lovely and sharing your writing with the world! (And for hyping me up and sending me pretty photomode screenshots)
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askthekirbysquad · 6 months
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Have some more frames from that PMV I was working on!
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raptorrobot · 7 months
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i have been relentlessly overthinking about the 7-2 music teaser we got about a week back and let me tell you . this part. right here;
i think this might be the leitmotif that'll appear in the p-3 prime soul's theme....... hear me OUT !!
my two main points of reasoning here is;
this part of the track follows a Very Close pattern of how the current two prime soul motifs are structured (a measure of 4 that repeats itself once with minor changes in the repeat -- or in different terms, a strong melody that loops once before the track moves on)
both minos and sisyphus' motifs appeared in the track of the second level of their respective layers (death at 20,000 volts / requiem and god damn the sun / sands of tide)
i am just Spitballing of course, this is still a WIP track and we have yet to actually experience the level as a whole -- but it could be something to ponder on !
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if I had a nickel for every time I had a dream in which I explained how prion diseases work, I'd have two nickels which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice
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thedrotter · 3 months
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hello dearest gamers ... today I have spent 3 hours translating the little character descriptions in the Re:Kinder page of Parun's website for the sake of me doing some wiki pages for em' characters and now i will share it with you!!! (ᵔ◡ᵔ) Here it is!! It's very likely a bit flimsy but it gets the point across (i hope).
(Oh yeah by the way the text in brackets "[ ]" is me butting in to clarify things not actual translated text)
Shunsuke
The protagonist of this story.
He holds the key to the story. [to unclasp it, or to solve it! The word used implies that, but I wasn't sure how to write it in in a way that sounded natural.]
A third grader in elementary school.
Ryou
He is Shunsuke's childhood friend!
Has a gentle and kind personality.
A third grader in elementary school.
Sayaka
A friend of Shunsuke and Ryou.
She is usually kind, but can be scary sometimes.
A third grader in elementary school.
Aya
Has a shy and quiet personality. [this sentence was a bit tricky to translate, there's a nuance to it i could not understand but this is basically what it's trying to say]
She has just recently moved into town.
A fourth grader in elementary school.
Rei
Has a strong personality that puts even that of the boys to shame. [in other words, it outshines theirs!]
She also cares about being fashionable.
A fifth grader in elementary school.
Hiroto
Oldest member of the group. [in between the kids, ignore Mami for a second Dx]
Seems older than he actually is, with a composed personality.
A sixth grader in elementary school.
Takumi
Has a weak and frightened personality. [which can also be read as timid and nervous (though it implies fear so frightened it is).]
For all the things that happen [to him] in the story, I give my condolences.
A third grader in elementary school.
Mami
Shunsuke's older sister [a sister figure, not literally his sister but wasn't sure how to write that in] next door.
She and Shunsuke are close friends!
A second year student in high school.
Yuuichi
Appears in the middle of the story.
A young boy that is a bit strange.
A second grader in elementary school.
Was it anything completely new and mindblowing no but is it fun to know what it says yes !!! 😊
#re:kinder#not art#do let me know of any mistakes!!#i do not speak japanese i worked with very limited understanding of how it works and goofy amounts of research😭#but it's honest manual work#cuz the automatic site translation had me raising eyebrows#so 3 HOURS OF SITTING DOWN HERE I GO!!!😍😍😍#basically me trying to see what adjectives bro uses to describe the characters#tell me. i am writing the personality section for them pleas e tell me#oh yeah i am writing wiki pages for the main cast cuz im insane#YOU KNOW HOW THERES RPGGG MAKER RPG WIKIS AROUND WITH REKINDER ON IT#i want the characters to have nice pages like all the other characters in those sorts of wikis#and i so conveniently have a nearly 40k word document on this game i made for the purpose of analysis cuz im sane#SO WHY NOT#specially for the spanish wiki because at least the english one has pages made for all of them spanish one has a sentence💔#in the characters page at least cuz i added silly tiny descriptions of the characters in the main one#THE SILLY LITTLE GUYS WILL GET THE PAGES THEY DESERVE!!!#because you know reading wikis on your favorite characters is very fun#i want people to be able to do that with them too#and it also gives me an excuse to talk about this game for more hours than i already have#even if its to a wiki#anyway play re:kinder 😊#oh yeah if youre curious on the honorifics . boys are given kun girls are given san. mami is given oneechan#didnt really mention em cuz they aint used in english
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actually wrote around 1,000 words today in my draft of my new angsty John fic. There’s going to be pining, so much pining. So many words left to go 😭
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heartslobbf · 2 years
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[ID: ten shots from 'revolutionary girl utena with excerpts of black text edited onto them. the first is of a bandage unravelling from around saionji's hand. text reads: '"you can be so inconsiderate." / "you are too sensitive." / "then why don't you take my feelings into consideration?" / "if you weren't so sensitive it wouldn't matter."'
saionji's exchange diary being dropped into an incinerator by touga. text reads: '"do you love me?" / "of course⁠—; but i resent it."'
saionji pointing a katana at touga, who appears unfazed by this. text reads: '"couldn't we ever speak to each other without irony?" / "sure."'
a close-up of touga and saionji's hands in saionji's memory; touga has just finished bandaging his hand. text reads: '"i love you, you know." / "yes... but why?"'
touga standing on a discarded love letter. a butterfly perches on a poppy near his foot. text reads: '"why do you like these paintings?" / "what isn't there is more important than what is."'
touga and saionji sitting back-to-back on a bicycle at sunset. text reads: '"we should be more open with each other." / "yes." / "shall we talk things over?" / "what is there to say?"'
touga and saionji sitting at the student council meeting table, cameras surrounding them. text reads: '"are you ever going to cut down on your smoking?" / "it's all right⁠— i don't inhale."'
touga and saionji standing in the student council elevator together. text reads: '"sometimes i get very annoyed with you." / "the world is annoying."'
touga and saionji embracing intimately as saionji prepares to pull to touga's sword for a duel. text reads: '"do you enjoy suffering?" / "you can't work if you don't suffer." / "but we suffer anyway." / "i know."'
young touga and saionji in a church, touga kneeling down to utena's coffin to play with her hair; saionji stands behind him anxiously. text reads: '"you're always so negative." / "i feel death all the time." / "are you afraid of anything?" / "not working."' /end ID]
revolutionary girl utena (1997) / lloyd schwartz, who's on first?
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disdaidal · 9 months
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Sometimes I really kind of envy you native English speakers who make writing and posting fics seem so fucking easy. With near perfect grammar and hardly any typos. Or those of you who are capable of writing & updating your fics whenever the muse hits you just right... and not like, once in six months. Actually, try two years lol.
Whereas me, a non-native speaker, who occasionally struggles even with basic English grammar:
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I'm fine. Totally.
#personal#okay so i've been writing this one piece of fiction for a while now#actually two but i've seemed to put the other one on hold for a while at least#(i may have mentioned this already like five times during the past two weeks but my point is i'm still working on it)#many thanks to @ihni who recently gave me some words of encouragement <3 and ofc @catzy88 who gave me even more insp *saatananauru*#and i'm actually really kind of enjoying it because there's no pressure to write it and post it#i write it in small sections. whenever i feel like it. giving myself enough time to plan it and think about it. even getting new ideas#and for once i'm trying not to keep editing and fixing it as i go. i just write whatever crap comes to my mind and just let it flow#i try not to think about how many mistakes and typos i make because that way i'm never gonna get it finished#but at the same time... when it's finally time to go through it#fix typos. missing words. possibly poor grammar. i know i'm just gonna hate it so fucking much lmao#but i'm really trying my best here okay. and i'm trying not to rush it. for once#because i used to write like this as a teenager. when there was nowhere really to post your original stories (thank god for that)#so i did it in my notebooks. and i quite enjoyed it doing that way#and i'm not sure why i'm even rambling this because most of you are never gonna read it anyway lol. so who gives right#but it matters to me and i'm feeling good about writing again so here i am rambling about it. no matter if you care not. so cheers mateys <
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Hnngngngngng woke up and my period started so I've got hella cramps AND it's looking like I'm either gonna be alone or with agency staff for pretty much my whole shift
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applestorms · 8 months
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morality in the world of good omens
so i wrote another (admittedly very messy) essay on good omens not long ago right after watching season 2 but after finishing that, rewatching all of both seasons multiple times, and reading through the book, i have a couple more distinct ideas to get out...somewhere...if only for my own sanity. this is me throwing my thoughts into the internet before i pop, if you will. just 3 sections, below the cut.
1. environment, characters, & transformative fandom creations
to start this post off a bit more broadly, i've been thinking a lot recently about transformative fandom and the reasons why we write fanfiction/create semi-original works in the first place, as well as why certain aspects of fandom (writing, art, analysis, etc.) will be more appealing to me for certain shows/series than others. correct me if you have a totally different view of this, but in my experience i've found that i tend to naturally gravitate towards different parts of fandom depending on what the original medium of the story was- podcasts tend to lead to some of the most interesting art trends, for example, since there's more room for interpretation and character design tends to be more of an ongoing community project than something set in stone like for a tv show with live human actors.
in my own observation, i've noticed that a lot of the really big & excitable fandoms, the ones that generate tons & tons of fanworks more naturally (a.k.a. just because of the story itself & not other factors like a pre-existing franchise or hype about new great gay representation, etc.) tend to surround stories that fall into a kind of "sweet spot" that makes the creation of fanworks really appealing. if you've ever wondered why there are so many ravenous artists bending over backwards to draw gorgeous fanart for stuff like homestuck or south park or even minecraft youtubers, it's likely because those stories all fall into a sweet spot for drawing, with character designs that are recognizable at a glance and yet still simple enough that there is plenty of room for personal creative touches. (think also, if you're familiar with such kinds of homestuck terms: hyperflexible mythologies, A4:1524, and/or this archive link cause the official thing is down now for some reason)
the conclusion i've come to is thus that even something as basic as the original medium of a story can dictate a lot about what kinds of fan activities are more common or popular within said story's fandom.
so, back to good omens- for me, this all relates back because of a question i've been messing with in my head recently, about why i've been less interested in fanfiction for good omens than i have been for the last few fandoms i've been, almost all of which have basically broken my ao3 bookmarks.
this question has been fucking with me for a while now, largely because i'm not entirely sure what's motivating it. a lot of times i can figure out pretty easily why i might personally not be interested in some parts of fandom, but that's not really the case here. from what i've seen this fandom seems to be pretty mixed in terms of age, & the writing that i have read is certainly no worse than i've seen elsewhere, perhaps even better in some places- and yet, i can't seem to get entirely into it, even getting frustrated as i can't find something to my tastes for an ao3 bedtime story as i've grown so accustomed. what caught me off guard is that this was an issue that i ran into while watching season 1 as well, back when the series was still quite popular but not blowing up like it is right now.
a lot of this may seem like (and likely is, at least in part) basic overthinking, but i mentioned it all here because the answer i eventually came to is reminiscent of my previous reflections above on the nature of fandom & how/why fanworks are created.
a couple paragraphs above, i used the example of art as an example of how fandoms that generate a lot of original artwork will often do the most when the original story falls into a sweet spot of character design, but notably i think that this sentiment applies to a lot more than just art. if you've ever seen the copious amounts of kpop & hockey rpf fanfiction that lives on ao3, it should be clear that this applies to writing too.
i wrote this essay a while back responding to an observation about the lack of a more extensive symbolic language in fanfiction & i've toyed around with the idea more since, particularly in considering the question of why a lot of what we see as the staples of fanfiction exist in the first place. in that post, my response largely revolved around an argument of why we create fanfiction- namely, that fanfiction is created as in tandem with deeper analysis of the original story/series, as a way of trying to practically apply character analysis to a new context.
the key part of that last sentence to me is how a lot of this revolves around character analysis (and shipping, but really it's the characters that motivate the shipping in most cases so. same difference).
i tend to instinctively separate fanfiction into two separate categories: fanfiction that is based out of the original world/canon of the story (including but not limited to fix-its, deeper analysis fics that take a scene & extrapolate from it, continuations, etc.) and fanfiction that takes the characters from the original story & plops them in an alternate universe/AU. while i separate these out as two distinct categories of fanfiction, i should also clarify that i don't think these two groups are necessarily equal in terms of number of fics- rather, the vast majority of fanfiction tends to be AUs, keeping the original characters & changing any & all aspects of the world around them. again, this may vary depending on the story & Vibe of the fandom at the time, stories like game of thrones or harry potter or homestuck might have a lot more in the canon category by nature of any major dissatisfactions the fandom has with how the original story was told, but in most cases AUs are more popular. this was a lot of the basis behind my argument that fanfiction is created as character analysis in fact, since the characters are the most important part that carries over from original story to fanwork, as well as can end up being one of the most debated/scorned parts when it comes to fandom drift (i.e. "that's out of character"/"he wouldn't do that"/and all other such arguments about fanon vs. canon characterization).
basically, my conclusion in this case was that i was a lot less interested in gomens fic largely because i have a really hard time separating the characters from the world in the case of this particular story. aziraphale & crowley being an angel & a demon and dealing with all of the bullshit of their world when it comes to heaven & hell are such integral parts of their characters in my mind that i have a much harder time getting behind AU fanfiction that plops them in a totally different context. it's just a much harder sell for keeping the characters in character for me. (i also tend to not like s2 fix-its just cause, idk they're just not my style, which is where a lot of the recent blast of energy has led us.) to clarify, this is not a judgement, just a matter of personal preference and a reflection of why, even if a lot of fandoms will look the same from the outside/involve the same things like art, fic, etc., an individual's mileage can vary wildly when it comes to how they interact with different things online.
*additional note, also for clarification: i do want to acknowledge that a lot of this depends on pure popularity as well, popular fandoms will often end up with basically everything in terms of fanworks just by nature of how many people are interacting with & thinking deeply about the story. my point here is more along the lines of the fact that even within the more well-populated fandoms, certain types of fanwork will often Stick Out more to me than others, or even be visibly much more common than in other fandoms, due largely to the original medium/structure of how the story.
so, speaking of aziraphale & crowley in more depth now- why does the world of good omens feel like such an integral part of their personalities when it comes to characterization? up next, let's talk about morality within the context of good omens' perhaps surprisingly secular take on heaven & hell.
2. the amorality of heaven & hell (ft. the crowley quote apples you know the one)
(warning in advance that this section may be a bit limited since i'm not going to get super far (or very far at all, really) into the whole religious-analysis aspect of good omens.)
i've been binge-reading the original pterry & gaiman book for good omens over the last few days and it's been very fun seeing all the slight changes between the tv show & the original. you can really see the hand of the original creators in how the tv show was translated, even just by looking at which parts made it and which parts were deemed worth cutting out. i suppose having one of the original creators right there helping build everything really helps make a book -> show translation work, since the ASOUE tv series was also pretty well received- something about knowing what's the core of the series & truly important to keep in, and having more time to tell the story itself?
anyways, i have a short list of notes that i've been taking as i read, conversations that stand out to me or footnotes that particularly amused me, but i keep coming back to one line that stood out to me quite early on. in context, this line comes from crowley during the conversation where he is first attempting to fully convince aziraphale about stopping armageddon, specifically when they're talking about exerting equal forces on warlock to make him normal:
"You're saying the child isn't evil of itself?" [Aziraphale] said slowly. "Potentially evil. Potentially good, too, I suppose. Just this huge powerful potentiality, waiting to be shaped," said Crowley. He shrugged. "Anyway, why're we talking about this good and evil? They're just names for sides. We know that."
(pg. 67)
"They're just names for sides." if i had to pick one line to sum up the view on religious morality of this series, this would likely be it.
on the one hand, i tend to interpret a lot gomens' take on heaven & hell within the context of its political stance, something that is particularly obvious through a line from gabriel in s2e2 where he tries to clarify to aziraphale that heaven isn't trying to hurt job directly, but instead is just not stopping hell from doing horrible things to him. while there may be some additional nuance to add to this take within the context of british politics that i don't really know well enough to add about, i'm inclined to see this from the side of my own familiar american politics, which might hold some weight considering how long mr. gaiman's lived around here. point is, my current interpretation of that line is that it helps in more clearly establishing the analogy of heaven & hell as the story moves forward into newer seasons and thus more contemporary politics, equating heaven with mainstream liberal politics & politicians and hell with conservatives.
this stance seems to be emphasized even more in the tv show than the book which makes sense considering its been coming out more recently, and especially in season 2 which is still quite caught up in a lot of quarantine-based reflection. (the tv show puts a lot more emphasis on heaven & hell in general, actually, perhaps initially a byproduct of actually being able to see those environments in their entirety and all the angels & demons that populate them- but we'll get to that.)
the book takes a slightly different stance that, fittingly, seems more reflective of the time it came out. in particular, i was struck a lot more when reading the book by adam's rise (fall?) to power, and how much of it was motivated by a burgeoning nervousness/pessimism about climate change and the anxieties of younger generations that comes with inheriting an earth that feels so fucked up. honestly if anything it's only gotten more relevant in that respect, what with the current vibe on the internet & the hopelessness of the doomer gen z gang, but it also has a distinctly different flavor to me from the tv show, which i think is largely because it's less connected to Formal politics since again we see a whole lot less of heaven & hell as such distinct, bureaucratic entities.
instead, there is a very distinctly amoral aspect to heaven & hell that we get through lines like the one above and especially from characters like crowley. this is why i argue that good omens, despite having so many religious elements, is such a deeply secular take, especially when it comes to its ethics & morality- Good and Evil, notably with the capital letters in this case, has very little to do with actual actions and much more to do with the name that you stamp on top of said actions. heaven & hell and the angels & demons that we see directing and watching and generally fucking with aziraphale & crowley throughout the story are distinctly separate from humanity, and as we see even more as the story progresses, distinctly unaware about what it even means to be a human, in both a deeper philosophical & very basic and literal sense. Good and Evil is simply another name for the sides- and thus the true ethics is something separate, and based in a deeply human experience.
in my opinion this is also why aziraphale & crowley, lovers of humanity and also to some degree spokespersons of it from how much they've "gone native," tend to be so deeply at odds with both heaven & hell and always end up agreeing with each other over their own supposed sides. what makes aziraphale & crowley so distinctly different is that they ascribe to the same ethics & morality that humanity does, or at the very least are trying to figure out ethics & morality & How to Be a Good Person in the same horribly messy way that humans do, separating them from the black & white "this side Good & this side Bad," logic that the rest of heaven & hell instinctively ascribe to.
there's a lot of nuance here, which is also why i think there is such an emphasis on moral ambiguity (and love, but we'll get to that) throughout season 2. the story of job, grave robbing, & questionable attempts at matchmaking- aziraphale is working through a lot of Shit right now when it comes to trying to figure out what the Good thing actually fucking is, and i think it's key that a lot of that is motivated by crowley himself. crowley might'e been cast out of heaven for asking too many questions, but aziraphale is there & listening to them & giving them the serious thought they deserve, and that can't be overlooked.
sidenote: i couldn't figure out a place to shove this in, but i also wanna point out that a lot of this is tied to the idea of growing over time too. on the same page as the quote transcribed above is another line from crowley leading up to aziraphale's question that puts a lot of emphasis on the fact that warlock is going to be a product of nurture, not nature. again, this is an argument against basic black & white assigned-at-birth morality for the ability of humans to grow & change over time and be influenced by the people around them.
it's notable that despite adam's supposed origin as a Son of Satan, what really gets him to stop the apocalypse in the end is the fact that he doesn't really give a shit about all this big plans but instead just wants to hang around his friends. there's a lot of emphasis in the book placed on how beautiful & nice tadfield is as a place for a young kid to grow up, how well loved & fiercely protected it as as something beloved to adam. while he might be overwhelmed when faced with the full picture of how horrible the world can be, ultimately what he cares about is loving & taking care of the people & places that he grew up learning were precious, and the only way to do that is to keep growing & changing yourself within that world and trying to help it also grow into something better, not throw it all away just for the slightest chance that you could restart. a message worth taking the time to think about, at the absolute very least.
3. finding morality w/in humanity: crowley & aziraphale and speculation for s3
i have complicated feelings about both aziraphale & crowley throughout a lot of the show and especially in season 2. i think a lot of people, myself included, are inclined to see crowley as the voice of reason in this season, and for good reason- as i mentioned before, a lot of aziraphale's deeper questioning of the status quo and goodness (Goodness) as a whole is motivated by questions from crowley.
i kiiind of mentioned this in my previous essay, but to state it more clearly, my take on crowley is that he's arriving at the right answer for the wrong reasons, and, conversely, aziraphale is arriving at the wrong answer for... kind of also the wrong reasons but also slightly for the right reasons. let me explain.
crowley is clearly much more aware of the flaws in both heaven & hell than aziraphale is, which seems to be the basis behind a lot of his motivation in asking aziraphale so many questions in the first place. he's also, as maggie & nina point out in s2e6, deeply lonely, often running away or getting ready to fight literally anyone that isn't aziraphale (or humans, but that's a little more complicated). from his reaction to beelz & gabriel getting together, i think it's pretty clear that he still hasn't entirely given up on the whole alpha centauri idea, and it makes sense- as i said in that last essay, crowley basically won the argument at the end of the previous season when it comes to aziraphale & crowley, "making [their] own side," so he doesn't have much reason to face any of his personal fears until maggie & nina basically point out that they exist directly to his face. once they do point it out, however, he's very motivated to act & does so almost immediately, even after hearing what aziraphale has to tell him and being pretty thoroughly devastated by it.
my point here is that crowley is correct in seeing the toxicity of both heaven & hell, he's just flawed and largely motivated by fear (up for debate if that's all it is, but i certainly think it's a big part of it) in his desire to run away from it all. it's not quite armageddon, again he's going more flight > fight here, but he's still ultimately giving up and that's not a great conclusion.
on the other hand, as some others on this site have pointed out, aziraphale is certainly showing a lot of strength in his willingness to keep fighting & try to change things for the better, but it's not hard to see how that belief has been twisted. one of aziraphale's biggest flaw in motivation at this point imo is that he doesn't just believe in goodness but Goodness, the kind that's tied to heaven always being right & all actions being morally Good so long as they're done under the name of heaven, and that clearly also isn't great.
thus what i think the both of these two really need ultimately is that deeper connection to humanity, and the ethics born from humans interacting with humans. we can already see how strong these two are when they collaborate, even when they're doing their absolute best to be as subtle as possible, but what i think they need is to once again be grounded by humanity, not to get so caught up in the bullshittery of heaven & hell and Good & Evil, but once again find a goodness defined by the world that they mutually love so much and stick with it.
i keep tossing a question around in my head about whether or not aziraphale & crowley are going to end up human by the end of this series. it feels natural that they would, they're already so at home and in love with earth & around humanity, but i'm also not entirely sure if that would be a happy ending for them considering how long they've watched & loved the world as it's changed. perhaps taking this post into account is another push towards humanity as a happy ending, not running away to a cottage to get away from the world (i just can't see running away to a cottage to be together as as happy ending, sorry- it might work for beelz & gabriel but not for aziraphale & crowley), but choosing to settle down within that world that is so dear.
#'just three sections' LAFFS. YEAH#astronaut rambles#good omens#gomens#no but i like this one a lot better than the last attempt at a gomens essay#this one feels a lot cleaner. more focused?#got a bit sappy at the end but i don't mind humanity is always worth loving#also off topic but i read this really interesting paper at work the other day#about pratchett’s writing in discworld & zizek & religion#forget what it’s called now but it was an interesting take on how fiction/fantasy can allow for deeper insights/reflection of reality#got some discworld books today so looking forward to reading those once i slurp up the last hundred or so pages of good omens#also thanks to my dad for having some interesting commentary on the job interpretation in s2e2 today#i all but literally slept through sunday school so i think a lot of the more noteworthy religion takes in this show go over my head =3=‘’#man i am so very much looking forward to how season 3 continues this story#i feel like a lot of the big conclusions there are really gonna be important for the direction of the story’s main message#season 2 is just. such a transition season it’s hard to get super distinct conclusions sometimes#like it’s still going somewhere there’s shit developing#it’s not like sherlock where it just teases deeper meaning forever but gives you nothing#but. it’s just so obviously Not Over Yet and I Need More#anyways much love i need to go to bed now arghfjdkd lots of shit to do in the future but all i wanna do is keep writing gomens essays. sigh#brainrot central#oh yay my phone’s at 69% now ☺️ wheeee#good omens meta
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oathkeeperoxas · 11 months
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me: this will be under 10k!
the fic, only half complete: is over 10k
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opens-up-4-nobody · 9 months
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#i spend so mad god damn time bitching on this website. its bc i dont talk to ppl. whens the last time i had a non functional conversation?#uuuuhhh last weekend or maybe the weekend before that? so like i gotta complain somewhere. so if i stop complaining u can assume i made#friends lmao. ugh. its just. im worried. im worried abt how this semester is gonna go. how this phd program is gonna go#bc i spent the last 2 years destroying myself. realized ive gotta stop doing that. haven't figured out how to stop and now im gonna triple#the amount of pressure im under while trying to do things in a more healthy way. its just like. it objectively doesnt seem like a formula#for good things to happen. im more worried for how catastrophic its gonna b on my brain than i am abt the things i think most ppl would b#concerned abt. like im not worried abt planning and executing a project or teaching beyond fear of the unknown#its like. ive done these things before. theyre difficult but u make due and tackle the problems. but when it comes to: how to maintain a#healthy school/life balance? i dont even kno where to start with that. i just dont bc when u have a learning disability things just take#more time but like how much time is too much? where does it end? i dont kno how to manage it and i dont wanna hate my project by the end#of this. i want to b excited and not paralyzed bc im afraid i cant change my behavior and its gonna kill me#and im worried bc im meeting with my advisor for the 1st time since march before i agreed to join thr lab and have i prepared for this#project which is almost complete unrelated to what i did in my last lab? no bc ive been managing data and im still not done managing data#bc i cant focus bc i collected that data in a way that was actively self destructive. and i mean i kno itll b fine. thr guy seems nice i#just hate that im showing up devoid of enthusiasm bc its all been drowned out by the fear. and thats also gonna make teaching a problem#bc its hard to b excited abt things when there's a hole in your chest and ur desperate for someone to tell u how to fix it. but idk helping#ppl does usually make me feel better so maybe itll b a good thing. forgot how much i feel like im dying when i sit in meetings and#classroom tho lol. god its been 2yrs since i was a student. classes feel like such bullshit now. and yet if i dont get all As i might die#my students better b good. i have the 1st lab section bc thr lead ta couldnt do that time. so im the trial lab and i start fucking Monday#who tf does labs the 1st week of class? ugh. also its an intro bio so like 2/3 of thr class r freshman. lil bby 18yos and some r non bio#majors. and ive been warned that sometimes there r problems with ppl who don't believe in evolution and cause problems. pls let my classes#b good. im not that worried. its just gonna b annoying as fuck. im not good at being authoritative#ugh. i should b reading papers so i dont look like too much of an idiot tomorrow. itll b fine im just an anxious freak. a lil over a week#until i can try to find a therapist. probably seek medication bc i dont kno how else to stop this bullshit. annoying. i grew up with a dad#who gets anxious abt the idea of taking too much medication when he tskes a single ibuprofen. in this household we feel pain and then we#die miserable. this is all his fault. we have the same brain.im just a lil more irradidic than him#its so funny i say that bc im like the least irradic person ever. i do the same things every god damn day. im just irradic in terms of#sometimes i feel like my brain is on fire and im a cry bby lol#whatever. enough bitching. ive got papers to read. or maybe ill just go to bed and read them tomorrow 🙄#unrelated
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mutxnts · 5 months
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made some serious progress on one of my wips :) mutual pining narumitsu where they are both aware of the other’s feelings but can’t get together yet is really fun to write. hehehehehe
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badolmen · 2 months
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So funny how trauma will just kick you in the fucking teeth with the most random triggers.
#ra speaks#personal#watched the most recent quintin reviews vid which like yeah I went in with expectations of the content#and it’s not like I actively avoid stuff that depicts/discusses abuse I’ve been going to therapy long enough to know my most sensitive#triggers and stuff. but…idk something abt when he got to the drake bell section just set me off something fierce.#I’m all nerves and stress and self loathing/misplaced guilt from my own past bullshit#like brain can we please cool it we’ve been over this for years why you freaking the fuck out now? (I mean. logically. I know why#and how trauma works and that I’m just having emotional flashbacks but still. ugh.)#brain please be real niceys to me I have a meeting in an hour we cannot be having a panic attack.#you’re safe you’re good it wasn’t your fault etc etc can we please go back to being an adult more than a decade past all that? please???#survived my meeting so I’m gonna vent abt this a bit more bc. let’s be real.#I don’t rememember a solid 3 years of my adolescence and it fucks w me sometimes.#I remember things before 4th grade. I remember 4th grade. then bam I’m in 8th going to high school. and like#I know logistically what happened. I know emotionally I hated/was so fucking scared of [redacted] until I finally left that fucking school.#it’s just. frustrating bc if I remembered maybe I’d feel more justified letting myself get upset abt it. but I don’t so suck it up buttercup#it probably wasn’t even that bad if you don’t actually remember it so pull it together.#hell for all you know it had nothing to do with [redacted] and you were just on bad meds/depressed and forgot three solid years of your life#after meeting [redacted] <- I am not convincing myself unfortunately.
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