#somebody please remind me to apply for some more jobs when i next have time to think | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tinyboxxtink · 3 years

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"Black Magic" *Part 3*

Alright y'all this took me ALL day to write [the entire rest of the story] and it took me an hour and a half to just edit this chapter. So I HOPE you like it. I had to find a breaking point it was getting too long, but the next chapter is coming like...maybe 30 minutes.

EEK!!!

Part 4

Part 2

Tag List

@wanniiieeee

@word-scribbless

@milkshqke

@gibbs274

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@aprildecker-blog

@lolliepopsicle

@stars-in-the-skies-world

@omgsuperstarg

@stars-trash-18

@objection-argumentative

@madamsnape921

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After saying goodbye to Maria and the kids Rafael took your hand and you both got in another Uber he had called.

“So where to now?” You asked.

“Well we're going to need somewhere to get this food,” he smiled. “So I'm taking you to my favorite place in the city,”

Soon enough the Uber pulled up in front of Central park. We both got out and walked to the front entrance.

“Central Park is your favorite place in the city?” You asked. “Kind of basic but okay,” you teased.

“Shut up,” he laughed, punching you in the arm playfully. “Wait until you see what part of Central Park.” He took your hand and you walked for a bit until you came across a fountain.

“I mean it's gorgeous but still kind of basic,” you teased some more.

“This is where we're eating lunch carino,” he told you. “The surprise comes after,”

You set up camp on the edge of the fountain and spread out the food. It was enough for a feast. Luckily Maria had included napkins, plates , silverware and sneakily enough she snuck in an old blanket that you could spread out.

“Oh my god.. this is so good,” You said in between mouthfuls of food.

“I told you,” he laughed through a mouthful of his own food.

“No like you don't understand. I've never had food this good,” You insisted.

“Oh no? The fancy lunches from work, not your style?” He smirked.

You stopped eating for a second. Had he really noticed that you took home whatever food the bigwigs never finished? It was kind of a detail that you never had guessed that he would even pay attention to.

“I have no idea what you're talking about,” You innocently replied.

“Sureee…” Rafael nodded with a smile.

“I'm sorry, please don't fire me,” You begged.

“Fire you? I think it's adorable. Trust me I would do the same thing back in my law school days when I had nothing,” He patted your shoulder.

“God do I hear that,” You agreed.

“Wait so you have nothing?” Rafael asked, concerned.

“What? No! Kind of…..I have enough.” You assured him.” It's not like I'm homeless or anything.” Oh my God this is getting worse. “I just mean like, back when I was in college I had even less than I have now.”

“Oh you went to college?” Rafael asked.

“Wow okay counselor I see where the snobbishness is coming back,” You acted offended. And you actually kind of were.

"Oh no no no, mi amor,” He put a hand on your knee, scared he had offended you. “Please don't think that I would ever think down of you. I think you are the most beautiful, smartest caring person in the world.”

He didn't even know you. That was definitely the spell. You sadly shrugged” it's fine,”

“No no what I meant.. I don't know I don't know what I meant,” He shook his head, blushing.

“Yeah you do it's fine you can say it Rafael I'm not going to get offended,” You assured him.

“I just meant... I don't know, or don't understand why somebody with a college degree would be temping, instead of using their degree for a job in their field. I seriously doubt you went to college for temping,”

“Well I don't know if you remember this since it was eons ago before you had money but living in New York is quite expensive.” You half laughed. "And when you have student loans to pay you kind of have to take what you can get even if it's not in your ‘field’,”

“I get it,” He nodded. “I totally get where you're coming from. I'm so sorry I offended you,”

“You know before today I would have stomped off and written you off as just the snob pompous asshole that I thought you were. But after seeing where you came from I know you really mean that,” You smiled.

“So…” he hoped to change the subject. “What exactly is your degree in? Something law related I assume?”

“Why do you assume that?”

“Well.. usually the people that apply to be my intern are only interested in kissing my ass and getting ahead in the lawyer corporate world. But you haven't done that.. Yet,” He raised an eyebrow with a smirk.

“Oh.. yeah.”. you look down at the ground nervously.

“What are you going to kiss my ass now? Because I'll gladly let you do it,” He smiled cheekily.

“No no!” You waved your hands. “I mean that would be nice but--I mean no, what?” You were flustered.

“You're adorable when you're flustered,” He rubbed your bright red cheeks.

“Haha,” you pushed a hair behind your ear. You thought to yourself “Well he's not going to remember any of this anyway so you might as well tell him the truth,”

“Truth is.. I may or may not have manipulated the system to beat out those other snobby law students to get this job,” You admitted, still looking down.

“Really…?” He looked at you suspiciously. “...And why’s that?

“...Because I saw your picture on the file and I thought you were gorgeous and I wanted to see that face everyday,” You blushed intensely, still looking at the ground, not able to tell him in his face..

There was a very long pause and then he put a hand on yours. You slowly looked up at him and he was smiling cutely.

“That is the most adorable thing I've ever heard in my life,” He grinned.

“Really? You think so?” Well obviously he thought so he was programmed to think whatever you did for the adorable duh.

“Yeah I don't think I've ever had a woman try that hard to get my attention. Or want to see me that much, or even think that highly of me,” He grinned.

“I mean it's not really thinking highly of you, just that you’re really attractive,” You laughed.

“Right, of course,” He was blushing even more.

“And that was even before I saw your butt!” You laughed without thinking.. But he really did have the best ass you've ever seen in your entire life. Everyday you walked into that office you just wanted to take a bite of it.

Rafael choked on his food. “I um…” His face was red hot now.. “Thank you?”

“Anyway…” He tried to steer the conversation away from his butt. “You avoided the question,”

“What question?” You asked. Completely in all honestly forgetting what you were talking about. Once you got lost in Rafael's ass your mind kind of went blank completely.

“What iis your degree in?”

“It's embarrassing,” You looked at the ground.

“What? It can't be that bad,” He shook his head.

“Well I say it's embarrassing to someone like you,” You half laughed.

“Someone like me?” He looked offended. “What iis that supposed to mean?”

“I mean I don't.. I mean the person that I thought you were before today,” You grabbed his hand.

“Well you seem to have really disliked me before today,” he nodded curiously. “It's like you don't know me at all.”

“What? Of course I know you.” You assured him. "I love you, remember? And you love me?”

“Yeah.. I do, but I don't know anything about you,” He looked away as if he was trying to figure out an equation.

Oh shit. What's happening? Was this supposed to happen? Wasn't wearing off? Oh God.

“It's a theater degree!” you blurted out, trying to change the subject. Maybe it would work. If you distracted him maybe this would take over again.

He turned his head to the side and stared off blankly, as if he was rebooting. Then he looked up and smiled at you. “A theater degree? That sounds exciting!” He was back to his “usual self''..

You let out a sigh of relief. However, you wondered if you had gotten him out of the spell, would he have freaked out? Would he have accepted it? Would he maybe start having real feelings for you? Well, it was too late now.

“Does it really though?” You rolled your eyes.

“It really does. I don't know if you would believe this, but I'm kind of a theater nerd myself,” He chuckled.

“No way. You? Nahh,” You blew a raspberry.

“Seriously! I had a bit of a theater bug when I was younger in fact. I wanted to be a big Broadway star” He admitted.

You couldn't believe what you were hearing. Raphael Barba the stuffy ADA of New York City as a big Broadway star? Yeah right!

“That's insane! You laughed. So why did you give it up?”

“Well.. as you know, being on Broadway isn't a great way to make money. It's more of a passion thing right?”

“So true,” You nodded as you were eating your empanada dessert.

“So.. I took a hard look at where I lived, and how hard my mom and abuelita were struggling and I vowed that I would get out of El Barrio. And make something of myself and be able to take care of them when I was an adult the way that I couldn't when I was a kid,”

You felt tears choking your throat once again for the millionth time that day. But this time it wasn't for you. It was for him. You really hadn't known any of this, to you he was just a pretty face. You actually had a lot in common.

“That is so sweet.” You pushed the trash between you away and moved up closer, pulling his hands into your lap and looking at him endearingly.

“Yeah?” He asked you with a half smile like a kid looking for approval.

“Yeah it really is. You gave up your passion for your family. I wish I was as selfless as that,” You said softly.

“What do you mean?”

What did you mean indeed? Did you really want to get into the story? Then once again you reminded yourself that he would have no idea no recollection of this after today, so you felt comfortable telling him your secret.

“Well….. You.... I came from nothing too. But all I could think of was getting out myself and never looking back,” You admitted in shame.

“Oh?” He looked at you curiously.

“Yeah, I was really passionate about theater and becoming a big Broadway star. With all the fame, and the money, and getting away from my small town in Jersey. So I threw myself into every activity, every theater, every play, every community theater, every performance, anything I can get my hands on. My parents were super supportive and never thought anything bad of me, even though they probably should have. They wanted me to have the world. And I took that for granted,” You began to get choked up.

“Why do you say that…?” He took your hand and squeezed it feeling like something bad was coming.

“They saved up their entire married lives to give me a college fund. I wasn't aware of it, but when I got accepted to NYU School of acting, they told me that they had enough saved for the first two years,” You continued, trying to breathe.

“Well that's good isn't it?”

“Yeah no totally, except I wasn't grateful,” You look down tears stinging your eyes thinking about how selfish you are as a kid. All I could think about and yell at them was how they didn't have enough for the full four years. How was I supposed to be a big Broadway star if I was still trying to pay student loans?”

“Oh Y/N…”.

“Yeah and that's not even the worst part,” Tears started stinging your eyes. You were lucky he was under some spell because he would definitely hate you after this under normal circumstances.

“Go on, I'm not here to judge you,” He pressed his forehead against yours. He realized how hard the story was taking its toll on you.

“One day it was my big end of semester performance and it was snowing. So my parents said that they weren't going to be able to make it. I screamed at them and told them that this was the biggest night of my life, and they couldn't be bothered to show up and what horrible parents they were and that they never cared about me and a whole huge temper tantrum like a 3 year old.”

You tried holding back sobs you had to make it through this whole thing without breaking down.

“No, honey…” He put a hand on your face.

”And so they tried…” You sniffed. They tried driving on the icy roads of Jersey to drive into the City and they served on black ice in the Jersey tunnel where they hit the wall and were killed instantly.

“Oh my god.. he whispered, “Baby I'm so sorry,” He grabbed you in a hug as you broke down. You just sat there for a minute letting him hold you while you sobbed into his shoulder.

“I just told them what shitty parents they were!” You sobbed muffled into his shirt. "And I killed them!”

“Hey,” he pulled your face from his shirt and looked you in the eyes. “No no you didn't do anything,”

“Yes I did! If I hadn't been such a brat and told them and guilted them into coming to see my stupid show then they'd still be alive!” you kept sobbing.

“No,” he took your head in his hands. “Look I didn't know you back then but I'm sure that your parents loved you and I'm sure that you loved them. That's why you wanted them there so bad. And sometimes it's just people's time. You didn't do anything wrong. Do you understand me?”

“Yeah.. I guess so,” you looked down. “I mean I was punished enough for it”.

“What does that mean?”

“Well I mean, obviously I was distraught from my parents dying. And that semester was the last one that was paid for. So kind of lied to you,” You paused to look at him apologetically.

“I had to drop out one year after that because I could only get student loans for that next year. And you had to have a certain GPA to get them to keep paying for the last year and I most certainly did not have that,”

“Oh...carino, I'm so sorry”

“Then me being me the arrogant bitch that I am, I thought well maybe I don't need a degree. Tons of actors don't have degrees. They can just make it on their own. So I just started throwing myself into auditions for about a year and a half, and I ended up living on the streets because I refused to take any kind of job. Telling myself that I was going to get my big break and be famous,”

“Oh my God”

“I know, right?” You laughed through tears. “I'm so stupid,”

“Hey you are not stupid,” Rafael grabbed your hands again.

“Yeah well, the first temp agency that I applied to had the first job as a personal assistant to a fancy lawyer. So maybe I'm not that stupid,” you smiled.

“Ah.. see? Happy ending. Maybe you went through all that to find me,”

“Yeah.. maybe,” You sadly smiled at him.

Although you knew deep down in your heart that was bullshit, because you really didn't have him. All you did was take another shortcut and be selfish and tried to take him for yourself instantly without any of the work. You were still a selfish bitch. And he didn't know that

“You know...if it makes you feel any better, you are lucky to have such loving parents,”

“What do you mean? Didn't you say you gave up your dream to take care of them?” You assumed that must have meant they were super close.

“Yeah well, for my mom and abuela..”.

You suddenly realized he hadn't mentioned a father.

"Oh? I'm.... No dad?”

“No, no dad.” He shook his head sadly. “I wasn't completely honest with you earlier YN,”

“What do you mean?” You took his hand, already knowing this wasn't going to be good.

“I was forced to give up my dream,” he replied sadly while staring at the ground.

“What?”

“When I was a kid I would watch musicals at my abuelitas house. It was the only place I was….safe,” He continued.

“Oh God.” You muttered.

“I would dance and sing all over her house. She was the only person in my life who ever supported that side of me,” he continued to stare at the ground.

“When my dad came to pick me up one day and he saw what I was doing…. “ He stopped again, you realized he was trying not to cry.

“Rafa…..”

“He tried to "beat the gay out of me.",” You saw tears dripping on the pavement.

You silently gasped.

"Not that I'm gay,' he quickly assured you.

"That was literally the last thing on my mind baby," you shook your head, tears coming to your own eyes as you pulled him into a hug. He collapsed into tears as you rubbed the back of his neck and whispered comforting words into his ear.

Finally he composed himself enough to finish his story.

“Anyway, he uh...he didn't just beat me for that. It was anything really. But I kept at it at my abuelas. She encouraged me even if she couldn't stand up to my dad. I can't blame her or my mother. When my mom caught me still pursuing it she told me to stop if I wanted to keep our dad around saying he wouldn't tolerate a….f word son,"

“Oh my god.” You whispered. You couldn't imagine your parents or any parents really, trying to discourage their kids from anything, and threatening them for being something they were so passionate about.

“Well I guess it didn't matter either way because he ended up taking off anyway. And I felt so guilty that we lost our only income, so my mom had to end up getting two jobs and my abuela moved in to help with bills that then I swore to become better so that I could atone for my sins,” He couldn’t look at you.

“Oh my god. Rafa, sweetie I…. That wasn't your fault., it wasn't your fault at all. He sounds like a grade a asshole,” You made him look at you just as he did when you told your shameful story.

“He was...is. I don't know if he's dead or alive actually. I haven't seen or heard from him since he left. I hate him so much,” he clenched his fists.

“Oh honey,” You pressed a kiss to his forehead.

“No you don't understand. My middle name is Eduardo, named after him. So he's always with me. I have always told people it's Antonio, because I want nothing about me associated with him,” He started to cry again.

After a minute, he looked back up at you very seriously. “I've never told anyone that story.”

“Really? Not even Liv?”

"Not even Liv," He stroked your hair. "I've never felt as close to her as I do with you.” He pulled you into his lap. “The truth is Y/N I have never felt safe since my abuela’s house. Until I met you,”

“Rafa…” You pulled him into a deep kiss, tears dropped down both your faces. “We can be each other’s homes now,”

#rafael barba #rafael barba x you #rafael barba x reader #rafael barba imagine #rafael barba fanfiction #black magic #law and order svu

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the-modernmary · 3 years

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my best habit || aaron hotchner x reader (ch. 3)

Chapter summary: The morning after, and you and Aaron are getting back to your old routines, and you go to the BAU for the first time.

Warnings: mentions of smut, but nothing really explicit.

A/N: thank you all so SO much for reading this story!! i love that you all are enjoying it! icymi, i went ahead and put up an intro + blog rules that you can read here!! Please, please read these are they do apply to this story!

masterlist || read on ao3

And here we go again, we know the start, we know the end

Masters of the scene

We've done it all before and now we're back to get some more

You know what I mean

-ABBA, “Voulez-Vous”

~~~~~~~

You woke up the next morning to the smell of coffee wafting throughout your apartment. Still half asleep, you slowly blinked your eyes open and slid out of bed. You cursed to yourself as you stood up; your whole body was sore. A small grin grew on your face as you realized exactly why you were sore, the memories from last night coming back to you.

You walked out of your bedroom to your kitchen, where you were greeted with the gorgeous view of Aaron, hair wet and still in just the sweatpants he borrowed. Clothes from last night were scattered around the living room, untouched. “Mornin’,” you grumbled, rubbing the sleep from your eyes.

Aaron, on the other hand, looked wide awake. “Good morning. I hope you don’t mind, I took a shower and made some coffee,” he greeted.

“It’s fine, as long as you made enough for me,” you told him through a yawn, although it was unnecessary, considering you were almost positive that he prepared you some coffee already. Mornings after with Aaron weren’t exactly domestic, per say, but they were efficient and friendly. Both of you knew you had your lives to get to, and you were willing to help out the other one to make sure they succeeded. The routine worked, and you had grown to look forward to it.

Aaron just chuckled and pointed to your refrigerator. “Already done. You still take it iced with caramel syrup, right?”

If the fact that Aaron remembered your coffee preferences after so long made your heart skip a beat, you elected to ignore it. It’s not like it was a complicated order. Instead you just sauntered towards the fridge, brushing past Aaron’s bare skin on your way over.

Aaron turned to look at you as you grabbed the drink out of the fridge. Now that you were more awake, you could actually take in Aaron in all of his morning after glory. Even with it damp, his hair was fluffier and falling into his eyes, free from any styling product he usually used. His shoulders were relaxed and, you noticed with a smirk, broader than they were before. So he had been working out...

It wasn’t until you got to his bare torso that a soft gasp left your lips, your heart sinking to your stomach. There were nine, almost identical scars, all raised and seemingly staring right at you. You had been so distracted last night that you hadn’t noticed them, but now you weren’t sure how you didn’t see them. They looked healed, but they weren’t faded much, and they definitely weren’t there last time you saw Aaron.

“Aaron,” you whispered, unable to take your eyes off the thick white lines covering him. “What happened?” Almost as if you were in a trance, you reached out to him, wanting to run your fingers over the scars.

Aaron moved to the side quickly so that he was out of your reach, his eyes hardening. He immediately went into defensive mode. “Nothing that you need to be concerned about,” he said firmly, signifying the end of the conversation.

Really, he should have known you well enough to know that you would keep pressing him. “Are you okay?” you continued, your voice barely louder than a whisper.

Aaron walked towards his discarded shirt from last night, putting it on quickly so that the scars could be out of sight. “These weren’t meant to kill me,” he said finally, sadness seeping into his words.

That’s what made you decide to drop the topic. If the scars weren’t meant to kill Aaron, then they were probably supposed to be a torturous reminder, and based on his reaction, it was working. You also figured that it wasn’t just any serial killer who gave those to him, and bringing up his dead ex-wife's murderer wasn’t part of the lighthearted banter the two of you had perfected.

Clearing your throat, you quickly shifted the topic to fill the silence that was hanging over the two of you. You lifted yourself so that you were sitting on the countertop. “So... what time should I be at the BAU?”

Aaron finished buttoning up his shirt and was now reaching for his slacks, his back still turned to you. But his shoulders looked like they relaxed, even a little bit. He was grateful at the subject change. “As soon as you can. We want to try and wrap up this case as quickly as possible.”

“Shit, I still have to shower and get ready. You should have woken me up when you woke up,” you mused, taking a sip of your coffee.

Now fully dressed in the suit he wore yesterday, Aaron turned back to face you, the corners of his lips quirking up in a smile. “I tried,” he explained, slowly letting down his defenses again. “It was hard to tell with the covers you pulled over your head, but I think you told me to go fuck myself or something?” His eyes twinkled with amusement as he made his way back towards you, placing his hands on the counter on either side of you and standing in the space between your legs.

You just shrugged, taking another sip of your drink. “What can I say? I was spent last night and needed my rest,” you told him, feigning innocence.

If Aaron was trying to hide the pride in his eyes at your comment, he didn’t do a very good job at it. His eyes flickered back and forth between your eyes and your lips. “I should get going soon,” he mumbled, more to himself than to you. “I still need to stop by my house to get a change of clothes.”

You placed your coffee to the side of you so that your hands were free to cup the sides of his face. “Probably,” you agreed, but you were still leaning towards Aaron. “But you’re the boss. Who’s going to get you in trouble if you’re a few minutes late?”

Your forehead was pressed against his by now and your thumbs were stroking his cheeks. You could see the desire in Aaron’s eyes, which you were sure was reflected in your own eyes, but instead of taking you right there on the counter like you were hoping he would, Aaron simply pressed his lips to yours, just long enough to leave you desperate for more.

“As tempting as the offer is,” he murmured, his lips still brushing yours. “I really do need to get to work to prepare for our meeting today. And... I’ll need the time to field all the questions I’m sure Dave will have for me about my sudden departure yesterday.” He added the last part as an afterthought, as if he just remembered that the entire BAU was watching the interrogation from yesterday.

You pulled away from Aaron ever so slightly, raising an eyebrow. “They know you’re here?”

Aaron shook his head, much to your relief. You weren’t sure if you would be able to face his entire team if they were all aware you had been sleeping with their unit chief. “Just David,” he admitted. “And that’s only because he figured it out before I could even come up with an explanation. But he covered for me and told the rest of them you were just one of Sean’s old friends, so if any of them ask…”

His words trailed off, but you understood what he was implying. You raised your hands in faux surrender. “Got it, don’t need to tell me twice. And don’t worry, no more flirting in front of your coworkers. I will be the epitome of a professional law intern. I can be a good girl when I want,” you teased, and you were rewarded as his eyes darkened.

“The way you said that makes me think you can’t,” he told you, his voice low.

You laughed and leaned in to kiss him again. The kiss was slow and deliberate and you could feel his lips curling into a smile. Aaron’s hand reached up to cup the back of your head, pulling you in closer to him. There was an unusual softness to the kiss, and you were surprised to realize that you liked it.

You pulled away reluctantly, looking directly into Aaron’s eyes. “You should go to work,” you reminded him. “I’ll be there in an hour or so.”

Aaron stepped away from you and made his way to the door, patting down his pockets to make sure he had everything. You slid off the kitchen counter, watching his every movement. Aaron hesitated as he reached for the doorknob and instead of just walking right out, he turned around to look at you. “When you said yesterday ‘If you ever need somebody to help you pick up those broken pieces’... Did you mean it, or was that just to get a reaction out of me?”

His words were hesitant and vulnerable, which was so unlike him that it took you a second to respond. You realized slowly what he was insinuating: He wanted to keep seeing you. The thought made you happier than you had expected, but that was something to unpack way later.

You kept your voice light in your reply, hoping to calm his nerves. “A little bit of both,” you joked, and Aaron gave you a small smile. “But to answer the inevitable next question, I also would like to see you again and continue this. At least, that’s what I’m assuming what you were going to ask, considering the amount of times you said I was yours last night. ‘My cock whore’ is a new one.”

Aaron let out a breathy chuckle, nodding to himself. He didn’t say anything else, he didn’t have to. The two of you knew the rules to this relationship, and it was already coming back like it was second nature. So instead, Aaron just opened the door, leaving you with a “I’ll see you at the BAU.”

~~~~~~~

Luckily for Aaron, his house was on the way to the FBI headquarters, so he was able to change clothes and be in his office in only 30 minutes. He wasn’t there as early as he usually was, but it was still early enough as to not raise any suspicion, and nobody questioned it when he made a beeline to his office, giving general greetings to the people he passed.

When he sat down at his desk, Aaron really did have every intention to do the paperwork that was slowly piling up and consuming his entire office, but his mind was wandering too much to focus on bureaucratic red tape. Flashes of the night before sped through his mind.

He remembered the way Y/N begged for him to touch her and how good his name sounded coming from her lips. He remembered her face as she was pressed against the wall and the almost animalistic smile she had given him when he had his hand wrapped around her throat. He thought about how beautiful she looked as she was coming down from her orgasm, mascara tears running down her face, hair tangled and sticking in every direction, her chest rising and falling as she tried to catch her breath, and the adoration in her eyes as he muttered praises to her.

Aaron hadn’t planned on asking to continue the situation he had with her. Last night was supposed to be the only time, considering the amount of baggage that came with that relationship for Aaron. He and Haley had technically been divorced when he first met Y/N, but it was just barely and it just toed the line of being a full blown affair. Going back to Y/N now could potentially complicate everything and bring up feelings about Haley that he had buried. But Aaron couldn’t deny that being with Y/N was a welcome distraction. There was no pressure to be “on” all the time. He didn’t feel the weight of the world on his shoulders. He felt more at peace than he had in a long time.

“He needs to know you weren’t always so serious…”

A knocking on his office door shook Aaron out of his thoughts. His head shot up to see Rossi, who was leaning against the door frame with a knowing look in his eyes. “You know,” Rossi started before Aaron could even get a word out. He walked into the office and made sure to close the door behind him. “Pretending to do work is more effective when you actually have a file in front of you.”

Aaron audibly exhaled, gesturing for Rossi to take a seat, although it was just a formality; Rossi was going to talk to Aaron about the situation whether or not Aaron wanted to. Rossi leaned back in the chair and quirked up his eyebrows. “How was your night?” he asked, holding back his amused laughter.

“It was fine,” Aaron said in his monotone voice, but it was no use. Rossi just stared Aaron down, patiently waiting for Aaron to elaborate.

“Are you going to see her again?” Rossi pressed, and this time it was hard for Aaron to hide his smile.

Instead, Aaron just side eyed Rossi for a quiet moment. “I am,” he said finally before reaching for one of the files. He really did have to start on that paperwork, and maybe it would send Rossi a hint.

It did not. Rossi nodded approvingly at Aaron’s declaration of seeing this woman again and placed one of his hands on Aaron’s desk. “I’m glad. I think dating will be good for you. Getting back out there is healthy, Aaron.”

Aaron went completely still, thinking of the best way to respond to Rossi. “We are… not exactly dating,” he said slowly, ignoring the shock that flashed past Rossi’s face. For as close as Rossi and Aaron were, their sex lives didn’t come up in conversation much, and Aaron certainly didn’t have the reputation Rossi did. “And I would appreciate it if this stayed between us, at least until after the case. I know how quickly gossip spreads in this office, and I shudder to think what will happen once Garcia gets this information.”

Rossi chuckled and made a zipping motion over his mouth. “My lips are sealed. I am happy for you, though. Maybe she will finally be the thing to get you out of the office on time finally.” Rossi laughed to himself, like he had a secret. “Even if you’ll still be up all night. At least you’ll be de-stressing.”

A knock on the office door spared Aaron from having to hear any more jokes from Rossi at his expense. “Thank you for that pep talk,” he said sarcastically to Rossi before calling out “Come in!” and putting his Unit Chief persona back on.

Emily opened the door, blissfully unaware of the conversation that was happening between the two men just seconds earlier. “Sir, Y/N is here.”

Aaron cleared his throat, ignoring Rossi’s eyes burning a hole into the side of his head. “Good. We will meet in the round table room, go ahead and brief her. Dave and I will be there in a few moments. Thank you, Prentiss.” Emily nodded and left the room just as quickly as she came in.

Rossi tapped on Aaron’s desk as he stood up. “That’s our cue, but mark my words, Aaron. I will learn all about this mystery girl from you, even if I have to lock you in the interrogation room to do it.”

Aaron laughed ever so slightly at that and just nodded. “I will fill you in before it gets to that,” he promised, and was surprised to realize that he meant it. Somehow over the years, Rossi had become his closest confidant, and it was comforting to know that Rossi was encouraging of this new relationship, as unconventional as it was. “But right now we have a case to focus on.”

~~~~~~~

You knew that the FBI headquarters was going to have high security, but three checkpoints seemed a little excessive to you. Nevertheless, you clipped the shiny visitor’s badge onto the waistband of your pants and waited for the elevator to take you to the correct floor.

It was weird to be going to the BAU, even if it was just for a case. It felt like you were encroaching on Aaron’s personal and professional life, something you never intended to do. You were happy being blissfully ignorant about Aaron’s coworkers. You knew a few of your names and that was all you ever needed to know. Being at the BAU was mixing up the carefully compartmentalized lives Aaron and you had built.

The elevator doors opened and you cautiously stepped out, trying to find your way around. You really should have paid more attention to Agent Prentiss when she was giving you instructions. Luckily, you were in a building full of profilers and one of them noticed your inevitable look of confusion.

“Are you Y/N Y/L/N?” they asked, and you nodded quickly. “I’m Agent Derek Morgan. You can follow me, I’m one of the agents on the case.”

You followed Derek through the glass doors and to one of the desks in the bullpen. He said something to another agent- Prentiss, you remembered- before gesturing for you to sit down. “Would you like a coffee or water?” Derek offered offhandedly, but his eyes were scanning you up and down, obviously trying to profile you.

Following on your promise to be professional, you had put on a nice pair of grey plaid slacks and a satin button up blouse- an outfit you had worn to your internship and to court a million times. But Derek’s gaze seemed more than just surface level profiling. It felt like he distrusted you. And then it hit you. He was probably watching you in the interrogation room yesterday, as you shamelessly flirted with Aaron. Everyone you were about to meet probably saw it, and they were all going to try and figure you out.

It had seemed funny in the moment, when you didn’t think you would ever have to see these people again, but now? Not so much.

You idly considered taking Derek up on his offer, just to keep him from profiling you any longer, but that would just give him the opportunity to share his findings with the rest of the office. It was easier to keep him close. “No thank you,” you said finally, giving Derek a polite smile. Despite what they had seen yesterday, you were excellent at networking, and you knew how to charm a room. Getting these profilers to like you wouldn’t be too hard.

Derek studied you a little closer, but your eye contact was unwavering. “How do you know Hotch?” he asked.

Thank God Aaron had warned you about this. “I was friends with his brother, Sean,” you lied coolly. “I met Aaron through him and he was nice enough to let me interview him when my studies revolved around an old prosecuting case of Aaron’s.”

Derek looked like he wanted to ask you more questions, but you were saved by Jennifer gathering the team and you to meet in a conference room.

Despite the fact that you had met a good portion of them yesterday while being interrogated, everybody reintroduced themselves to you, albeit much friendlier. Now that you weren’t in handcuffs, the team warmed up to you quickly.

You also chose to formally introduce yourself to the team, considering that you were still probably just a file in their minds. “And I apologize for making your jobs more difficult yesterday,” you added onto the end, only half joking.

JJ- which Jennifer insisted you call her- gave you a comforting smile as she walked to the front of the room. “We understand. Interrogation rooms are designed to get those sorts of reactions.”

You were about to reply when the sound of footsteps caused you all to turn your heads towards the door. “Good, you started,” Aaron interrupted, making his way to the front of the room. “Y/N, glad you could make it.”

You just greeted him with a polite nod, before turning your focus to David Rossi, who was introducing himself to you. He had a good enough poker face, but you caught a mischievous glint in his eyes. At first, you were confused, but then you remembered that he knew Aaron came over to your place last night. Maybe he knew even more, which was an uncomfortable enough thought. You didn’t have time to focus on that at the moment.

You stood up to shake Rossi’s hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, really,” you said simply, your voice light and polite. You had been around the DC law scene long enough that you knew exactly how to get people to like you. “I’ve written about you and your books for my classes.”

Rossi tilted his head to the side slightly. “I didn’t realize my books translated to law courses,” he questioned, sliding into the seat next to you. You took that as your cue to sit back down.

Out of the corner of your eyes, you saw Aaron watching the interaction carefully, causing anxiety to bubble up in your stomach. He had never seen you in a work or academic setting, with the exception of that first meeting, but that hardly counted. He had read some of your academic work, would help you with the occasional homework assignment, and even let you practice your mock trials runs with him while he gave you pointers, but he had never seen you truly in action. The thought unsettled you.

“I’m in a joint degree program,” you explained proudly. You had to make an appeal to the school to allow you to do this joint degree, and you’ve busted your ass ever since. “On top of my JD, I’m getting my masters in Forensic Psychology. I’ve studied your past cases and examined the ethical implications involving your interrogation techniques, specifically when working with offenders with severe mental health issues.”

You regretted the words as soon as you said them. To anybody else, it would have been impressive. Even some of the other profilers were intrigued by the concept, but saying it directly to David Rossi was a whole different ballpark. To his credit, he just chuckled good naturedly, seemingly completely unbothered by your comments. “I can only imagine what they’re saying,” he joked. “Interrogations are very different now than they were back when I started in the FBI.”

“Rossi,” Aaron interjected, and that word was a simple warning. He was obviously trying to stop the conversation quickly. Tension hung in the air briefly as Aaron, Rossi, and you all remembered the unspoken secret the three of you were sharing. “Let’s get started, shall we?”

#criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x y/n #aaron hotcner smut #aaron hotchner fanfiction #my best habit #aaron hotchner #hotch x reader #my writing

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desiraypark · 4 years

Text

Take What You Want

Characters: !CEO Ben Solo x Plus Size Female Reader Setting: Alternate/Modern Universe Summary/Content Warning: Fuckin’. On a boat. Unprotected PIV sex (assume you’re on BC, or don’t!), oral sex (female receiving). Reader is a bit insecure about her appearance but I worked to avoid the whole “woman doesn’t like how she looks, a MANLY MAN-MAN says HE likes it, therefore a lifetime of hurt disappears in seconds YAY!” trope lol. Ben just wants to fuck you in front of the ocean, okay?

*Use of “Ben Solo” is more so to establish his legacy/bloodline, not necessarily his character/personality or anything like that. BEN’S YACHT (Video: 00:15 is where you’re sitting) - I don’t know if I got the terminology right but who cares, let’s get to the bangin’.

The past five months had been...Interesting. Different. Thrilling. Perfect. Almost, too perfect--but you didn’t fight it.

It was during the second week of January when you strolled through the cool, bland, and dull-lit spaces of Dice6, LLC.--all the way to the conference room where its young CEO, Ben Solo, sat at the head of the table. The receptionist led you inside. You shook his hand and sat two seats to his right. He asked very few questions and listened intently to your answers. Or so you assumed.

Barely five minutes into the interview, he closed your folder, leaned back in his seat, and looked you over.

“I’m not hiring you,” he said.

“Oh...okay...” you’d responded, confused and disappointed.

“I’m going to take you on a date.”

“...excuse me?”

“Why did you apply for this job?” he asked.

“Um, because this is a reputable com--”

“What do you need money for? Do you have a new place? New to the city?”

“I just...I want a well-paying job to survive, Sir...”

He leaned back in his chair and smiled.

“I’ve got a feeling about you,” he said. He crossed his leg over the other. “I always listen to my instincts. How would you like to survive and thrive on my bank account?”

You freaked out and excused yourself from the interview. Of course, he gave you a call that you ignored. The next day, you got an email reminder about your soon-to-be due student loan payment, and well...you went on and called him back.

____________________

“I’ve never been on a yacht before,” you’d told him over the phone.

“There’s a first time for everything.”

“What do I wear?”

“Dresses, shorts, bathing suits. Lingerie. Preferably nothing.”

“I’ll have to go shopping, I guess.”

“I’d like to see you in jewel tones. And bright reds. I never see you in red.”

“I’ll see what I can do.”

You’d sent him pictures of the clothing you’d bought with his money. In his calm abrasiveness, he’d called you and told you that he hated your swimsuits and lingerie. Later, he sent you photos of things he wanted you to wear--lots of things you’d never felt comfortable wearing. Or rather, things other people would make you feel ashamed for wearing. But you took another shopping trip and did your best.

____________________

Ben stood at the door to the outer deck waiting for you. You smiled as he took your hand and led you into the open space for dessert and champagne. The two of you sat close on the plush sofa as you ate a fluffy, strawberry cake and stared out at the sparkling waters.

“Are you enjoying everything?” he asked, breaking the serene silence. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders and planted a kiss on his jaw.

“I’m loving it. Thank you for this.”

His eyes didn’t leave you when you pulled away. The pupils were dilated and he was chewing on his lip. You were familiar with that look. Past loves had also signaled their desire to fuck with darkened and narrowed eyes, and working jaws.

Ben traced the outline of your red lips with the tip of his index finger. You parted your lips, signaling for him to place the tip into the small hole that had formed. He smirked and pressed his finger inside and you licked it. He pushed it further, making you suck.

“My dirty girl,” he purred. “Where else do you want my fingers?”

You smiled, took his free hand, and guided it to between your legs. He hummed and grabbed your fleshy mound. Then, he removed his finger from your mouth and replaced it with his lips and hot tongue. When he was satisfied with the amount of your saliva he’d collected, he pushed the small dining table back, knelt to the floor, and lifted your emerald green sundress.

You froze and clamped your thighs shut.

“Shouldn’t we go inside, Ben?”

His hungry eyes met yours. He squeezed the soft fabric between his fingers and proceeded to lift your dress until it stopped at your knees.

“No.”

He placed a hand between your knees to space them apart but you kept them clamped shut.

“What if somebody sees us, Honey?”

“I don’t give a fuck,” he said with shortness. “I’m not waiting another second to taste you.”

You exhaled. Your clit perked up, but Ben was still. His eyes still on you and the skirt of your dress still scrunched between his fingers.

“I don’t care about your size, Y/N. You know that,” he said.

“I know you don’t,” you started. “But, sometimes, I do.”

Ben released your dress and rubbed your clothed legs. “May I ask a favor of you?”

“Sure, Baby,” you responded, running your fingers through this hair.

“For me--just this one time--let me fuck you right here,” he requested. You swallowed, but before you could speak, he continued. “I want to see your pussy clench when the cool air hits it, then feel it melt when I wrap my lips around your clit...”

He tugged at the skirt of your dress again. “I want to see the sky behind you when I hold your legs in the air.”

Your knees weakened and your ass began to sink into the sofa. Ben pushed your skirt to your thighs and pulled your panties down.

“No more underwear this weekend,” he demanded. He balled your panties up, stood up, leaned over you, and threw them out in the ocean. Then, he fell back to his knees and pushed your heavy legs back.

“Fuck,” you whispered as you fell back on the sofa. You jumped at the feeling of cool air on your moistening pussy and bare thighs. Ben rubbed his fingers up and down your ass and reached up to pull the sandals off your feet.

“I want to see how your skin glows under a sunset when I’m making you come...”

Ben gripped the back of your right knee with his left hand and rubbed circles over your ever-spreading labia with the pads of his right fingers. You moaned for him--moaned for yourself. Your mind relaxed as your nipples awakened.

“Is your pussy as juicy as it looks?” he asked.

You threw your head back, now a complete goner. Suddenly, you felt a quick sting on your pussy lips, making you gasp. Your head shot up and you looked beyond your belly and into Ben’s fierce eyes.

“Answer me.”

You nodded profusely. “Yes, Baby. It is. Get a taste, Baby. Please.”

“Mmm...” he said, his index and middle fingers retreating from the others to rub deep into your slit--the crevice keeping your plush pussy lips together slowly drifted apart as your clit poked through them. He slid the two fingers over your wet clit--the insides of his digits stroking the soft bud, and the outsides stroking the warm inner flesh of your labia. Finally, he turned his palm up, pushed his middle finger inside of your welcoming hole, and trailed the very tip of his tongue from your opening to the pointed end of your edible rose.

“Oh, God...” you whispered.

Ben took his time--licking every centimeter of your delicious pussy--slurping, sucking, smelling--burying his nose inside to get it sticky. You were helpless under him--pussy melting, ass cheeks sticking together with sweat and arousal. Ben would look up to see your contorted face--your breasts jiggling every time you moaned or groaned. He glanced at the orange sun setting behind you, smiled, and returned his focus to his task. When you grabbed his hair, he pulled away.

“I want your first orgasm from me to be on my dick,” he said, unbuttoning his pants. Your teeth sank into your bottom lip as you watched him. Once Ben’s pants and boxers were on the floor, he sat on the sofa and gestured for you to come toward him. “Get on top.”

You froze again.

“Ben, I don’t--”

Suddenly, his long arm reached out and his hand was around your wrist. He yanked you close--your face nearly falling into his lap.

“Don’t be disobedient, Princess,” he said. You exhaled, and as fast as you could, climbed onto your knees, hiked up your skirt, and threw your leg over Ben’s lap to straddle him. He alleviated some of your worry by holding your left ass cheek in his hand, and his dick with the other. With his help, you slowly sank on his length. He stared at you the entire way down--patient, but hungry. He seemed to have an aversion to showing too much emotion, but you saw his eyebrows scrunch when your hot walls stretched for him--when he felt just how slick you were.

“That’s it, Gorgeous,” he mumbled. He bit his lip and smacked your ass. “Now, bounce on it. That’s your dick...”

You lifted your hips and fell back down with a pained-but-pleasured moan.

“Give that tight pussy what it needs.”

“Fuck!” you shouted, picking up your pace.

Ben’s hands rested on the bottom of your ass as it jiggled and bounced in the salty, aqueous air. “Shit! Yes! God! Fuck! Ahh!” a chorus of obscenities you sang out to the sky--so loud, so free that the few remaining clouds parted so that the praise of your own pleasure could be heard by the naughty sector of angels.

You covered him in your juices. Your flesh clapped against his. He’d ripped the bust of your dress and licked the sweat off your breasts. You pulled his hair. You called him Baby, he called you Princess. You screamed “yes!” he grabbed your throat to momentarily trap the sound. The heavens couldn’t have all of your “yeses”--your body needed to absorb some of your beautiful sounds, too.

“Oh, fuck,” you whimpered--your fingers falling to your clit. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!” you shouted as your clit turned to mush under your fingers--gushing and clenching around Ben’s girth. Your head flew back and your eyes crossed as you rode out your wave. When you came to, you recognized Ben’s grazes against your flesh.

After a quick, hot kiss, you climbed off his lap and he bent you over the sofa. He sucked at your juice and swallowed sticky cream. And as you observed the waters part for the heavy boat, you felt your walls part once more. Ben buried himself deep inside of your sensitive pussy and leaned forward to whisper in your ear.

“You feel so good,” he said. He dragged out of you and slipped back inside. You turned your head in his direction and he found your lips and kissed you with passion--with fire. Then, he slammed into you repeatedly, chasing his own orgasm. He reached around to rub your clit, hoping to bring you to your second.

“No!” you squealed--squirming away from his touch, but he pressed down harder.

“Yes,” he retorted. “I know you’ve got some more in you. Give me another one.”

Feeling the pressure building inside of you again, you bounced back against Ben’s crotch.

“There you go,” he said through gritted teeth. “That’s it. Take what you want, Princess...take what you want...”

Just seconds after you exploded on his fingers and around his rock-hard dick, you felt him pulse inside of you. After a few more strokes, he stilled his movement--and you felt his warm cum spreading around inside of you--filling you up.

Ben collapsed on your back but quickly crashed onto the sofa--as did you. The two of you caught your breath, then you finished your dessert and champagne. When the sky was completely dark, you’d gone back inside of the boat, washed, and changed into warmer clothes. Then, you went back out onto the deck, cuddled on your christened sofa to look at the stars. “I saw you in a dream,” he said out of nowhere.

“Hmm?”

He ran his fingers up and down your arm. “I dreamed about you before I met you. That’s how I knew you were my girl.”

You smiled and felt the urge to break up the sappiness before you started to tear up. “A genius and a psychic. Are you strong with The Force, too?”

Ben smiled--something he rarely did. “Don’t tease me when I’m being sentimental, Princess.”

“I’m sorry,” you said. You gazed into each other’s eyes, then Ben gave you another kiss and pulled you closer to him. ______________________ Thank you to @bluestarego @ellelaconi @xxcatrenxx @millenialcatlady @mariesackler and @clydes-hole for helping me out with this one!

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sweetescapeartist · 3 years

Text

MY DBS MANGA CHAPTER 70 REVIEW

We learn in the last chapter that the Cerealian Dragon's name is Toronbo when Granolah speaks Namekian. Toronbo grants Granolah's wish but can't make Granolah stronger than the gods.

Here's the confusion I have... Goku is a mortal beyond GoDs so making Granolah the strongest mortal is making him stronger than gods. If you wanna say Beerus has been training and is now stronger than Goku, there's still a problem. It was said that Goku and Vegeta were stronger than some GoDs right before the ToP (but that might be anime only, so maybe it doesn't apply here). So Granolah is stronger than GoDs no matter what. If the gods that Toronbo is speaking of are the Angels, then that means Granolah is Ultra Instinct level of power since Goku is the lowest in Angel tier. But whatever. Bottom line is Granolah is temporarily stronger than Goku who may or may not be stronger than Beerus.

Granolah gets his wish granted and the cost is shortening his life... cool. Not much to say except let's see how its executed.

(I recently read that in DBXV2, during the Infinite History Saga, Videl is enchanted with Towa's Dark Magic spell by Dabura shaving off her life but granting her greater power. So granting power at the cost of lifespan has been done in DB before. Not in canon but in the games.)

Also, Granolah's life being shortened to 3 yrs got me thinking... Currently it's almost AGE 781 in the DBS manga timeline. Goku leaves to train Uub in AGE 784. We got 3 yrs left. The original manga shows Bulma said she hadn't seen Goku in 5 yrs. How I see DBS is that it is an alternate timeline that just happens to have a similar outcome to the EoZ.

So... why is Vegeta learing from Beerus again if Beerus isn't that strong now? Is Vegeta being like Krillin and continuing his learning from a master weaker than him, but gaining wisdom & knowledge? I-is Vegeta becoming Krillin 2.0?! (More like dollar-store Krillin)

I do think beerus got stronger tho. He seems very confident that Vegeta can get stronger from learning from him. Beerus probably saw Goku get UI then decide to train aftet the ToP

Anyways, Beerus is teaching us about hakai/destruction energy. Its erasing something from existence, not just destroying it (we already knew that). But, Vegeta quickly figures out how to do it anyways. By destroying a tiny pebble...

A tangent again but I personally think Piccolo is capable of easily learning Hakai energy. Think about it. Piccolo can create clothing out of nothing, why could he not do the reverse?

Goku is uninterested in what Beerus & Vegeta are doing. I dont know about you, but it sounds like Goku thinks that he's above Beerus in strength. Beerus & Vegeta aren't considered a challenge to him in any way. Goku sees UI as more important & better than anything Beerus has to teach, and Goku is right. Plus Goku learned Hakai on his own while Vegeta needs Beerus to teach him. It's a waste of Goku's time to learn it again.

(God Comics is funny. I imagine Toribot writes them)

Goku says "Let's see which one of us can be the strongest in the universe!" Really, Goku...? At present time, Goku is the strongest mortal in the universe already. He should know that. Then Vegeta for some reason thinks he will become the strongest in the universe. The last time manga Vegeta was the strongest mortal in the universe was... never. He's always behind Goku or whatever new opponent arises. This scene is meant to be comedic that they're arguing over who will be the greatest but it's not funny to me. And yet Vegeta fans still hold on for hope.

But why is Goku concerned about being the strongest between him & Vegeta? Goku is far above Vegeta. They're not rivals at this point. Also, Goku was the strongest in the universe until just a few moments ago. Goku should be saying "I knew bein' the strongest wouldn't last for too long. Roshi did tell me there will always be somebody stronger out there. Hehe! This is gettin' me excited! I can't wait to meet 'em!" (This would alsp parallel Monaito giving Granolah the same advice Goku already knows.)

Also, I guess Broly isn't that strong after all. Bye Broly, you served your purpose. And to think that Goku had said that he thinks Broly is stronger than Beerus...

Oh yeah. So Vegeta destroys a pebble. Impressive? Goku kinda gives a compliment or he is practically saying "Good job Vegeta! You're doing great following in my footsteps!" Seriously, this would be so much better and cooler if this seperate paths of training began right after the Universe 6 vs Universe 7 tournament. That would be the perfect spot to have them train under Beerus & Whis. [Vegeta using Hakai against Merged Zamasu, Goku able to fight Merged Zamasu temporarily because he is getting better at letting his body move on its own, Toppo & Vegeta using Hakai against each other as Goku & Jiren use power above GoDs. That would work so much better.]

Then Vegeta says he's gonna destroy bigger things soon... is that supposed to be more impressive? Its not. But this it to build up Vegeta even though there is nothing amazing about anything he is doing at the moment. Maybe later tho.

So Cerealians can't grow beards. Also I guess Granolah's race don't age? His hair grew when his lifespan was shortened but he has no wrinkles. It seems that they age more gracefully than Saiyans. If he has some wrinkles he would have looked cooler imo. Or those lines under the eyes at the very least. If the wish shortened his life & made his hair grow, it should have also showed that he aged. (Here's an edit I made of "Grampa Granolah." You're welcome)

And remember Vegeta destroying a pebble? Granolah can suddenly destroy big rocks! Cool right?! No? Its not cool? Showing Granolah destroy a much larger object right afterwards kinda belittles Vegeta's accomplishment.

Oatmil is surprised by a boulder exploding. This means one of 2 things. Oatmil is stupid & never saw an Granolah explode a boulder. Or it's implying that the boulder exploding is some technique Oatmil doesn't know of. Idk how he can tell its any different from just blowing up a rock with ki. I think it's supposed to be destruction energy. If it is then, ok. If getting his wish was so easy, then why can't he suddenly learn destruction as well?

Yay! Monaito! (This really should be a Namekian focused arc)

Granolah reminds me of Zamasu with his attitude a bit. Monaito tells him somebody stronger will definetly appear. Granolah has become like Vegeta and is over confident, so he is destined to get humbled. And think about this. Goku can probably train a bit and surpass Granolah within a week.

Granolah can now sense ki. Meaning he can have the destruction technique or UI, because why not?

Monaito blames himself for Granolah's actions. Its not your fault Monaito! You did nothing wrong! Dont be so hard on yourself.

Whis being a creep and peeping on people lol.

Granolah's hair growing was pointless because he cuts it off soon after. Nothing changed visually. This kinda reminds me of how Moro lost his arm. Goku gave him a senzu, Moro grew it back, & then Moro broke his arm when attacking Goku. Then Moro tore his arm off & reattached his old one. There was no need for Moro to grow his arm back then tear it off. Similarly, there is no need for Granolah to have grown long hair then cut it off.

Maki still brings a smile to my face. She & Gas stand out the most out of the Heeters. Maki's personality is kinda like Zangya combined with a teasing Bulma. Gas reminds me of a Krillin/Piccolo fusion with dreadlocks. I also ship Maki x Gas cause they're short and look cute together. (please don't be siblings so I can draw them together🤞)

Granolah fights Oil & Maki. I'm not impressed. They seem like they could be defeated by Chaoitzu (he's stronger than Raditz and probably Nappa now too). Granolah's movements could be seen as UI. If it is or isn't UI, it doesn't matter. Showing off that kind of power is like Goku using Ultra Instinct during a rematch with Nam or King Chappa. Its not effective storytelling. There had to be a better way of showing Granolah's new strength than making him fight opponents that give him zero challenge.

The art is good as usual and the panel flow is nice. Toyotaro is improving at creating the illusion of motion. The environment being used in the fight was smart and a good visual. Toyo still uses a ton of panels almost every page tho. But he's still a better artist than I am.

Granolah appears to have used Hakai again. Not the explosive variant but the sand variant (yes I think there are 2 ways of using Hakai).

The "Sand Variant" that Beerus & Goku (& maybe Granolah) have used.

The "Explosive Variant" Beerus & Vegeta (& maybe Granolah) have used.

Maki thinks the "Hakai" is magic so that's interesting. I would say I'd like for the next enemy to be a magic user but, we know how Moro turned out... 😓

Maki has "ki claws" & I like the idea but it would be better if she had used it against an enemy she can defeat. It doesn't make her look useful in this fight. Gas seems confident when he is about to fight Granolah, but Elec stops him. Gas would've gotten beaten but it make ya wonder what Gas can do.

Granolah appears to be a person that is easily manipulated and persuaded. He even gave information they weren't even asking for. He'll probably be easily convinced and manipulated by Freeza/the Hedters or quickly have a truce with Goku.

The Heeters plan to go to Planet Cereal to get the Dragon Balls. As I suspected, the Cerealian Dragon Balls were created so that it would be easy for wishes to be granted. Gathering 2 Dragon Balls on a nearby planet instead of gathering 7 on New Namek or Earth. Plus these new Dragon Balls ensures no interaction between Earthlings & Granolah/the Heeters. A perfect way to write Gohan & company out of the story... *sigh* 😔😒

We learn Cerealians live for 2 centuries. How's that compare to other races in Universe 7? Freeza & King Cold apparently can live more than 200 yrs, But that may be because they are mutants. Namekians can live for like 500 yrs & its possible for them to reincarnate themselves too. So in a way, Namekians can live forever. Saiyans stay youthful & live to be in their 80's, but rapidly age when they reach their 60's or 70's. Average Earthlings appear live to be in their 80's or 90's but some are over 100 yrs old (Dr. Briefs, Panchy, & Ox King are in their 90's in GT) and others can increase their lifespan through elixers or the Paradise Herb. Just some thoughts of mine.

Maki says "If he ices Freeza..." Ha, an ice pun. Elec wants to defeat Freeza so he can control his army. Its revealed they wanna kill Granolah & that they worked with Freeza to destroy his planet & race. Well... that more than likely means they're gonna die by Granolah's hand or Freeza's. This info is also an attempt to make the reader more sympathetic for Granolah. Granolah is too bland (pun intended) so I don't feel any more sympathy than I already had for him. Elec plans to make Goku & Vegeta fight Granolah since Granolah hates Saiyans. Smart but we all kinda expected it. Not bad writing tho.

The final panel talks about fate bringing the 3 (Goku, Vegeta, & Granolah) together. Sounds like a repeat of the Broly movie.

We've had 4 chapters in this arc & not 1 panel of Freeza... If Freeza doesnt appear & do something in the next chapter then I will be disappointed in the writing. Showing Freeza here and there would give tension and build up until we get the encounter with him. We also have no idea who Oatmil is. Is he an A.I. or a person? Not that big of a deal yet, but I would like to find out soon. Either show Freeza or tell us more about Oatmil next chapter pleaae

This chapter was like oatmeal (the food not the character) without butter, brown sugar, milk, & honey or raisins. Not bad, but not very good either.

So here's my thoughts on the things that could or could not happen in this arc.

Goku vs Granolah. I don't care for the fight because the power is at a point that it doesnt make sense for enemies to get to without cheating somehow. The fight will look cool but I have no interest in it.

Vegeta vs Granolah will have Vegeta being stomped as always and Vegeta fans will make excuses & complain how it's not fair. A lot of Vegeta fans often make fun of Yamcha & Krillin for getting beat up even though those 2 bravely fight opponents leagues stronger than they are. Vegeta has gotten stomped by opponents more times than Krillin & Yamcha combined but the fans gotta deflect somehow. I don't care to hear or see the complaining again.

The interaction and dialogue between Granolah & Vegeta is going to be more interesting than their fight. But I worry because Toyo isn't the best at writing dialogue.

I have no reason to care about power growth, certain interactions, or Goku & Vegeta's training.

What I am curious about/want to see?

Monaito's well being. I want him to reunite with other Namekians. But I think he's been set up to die.

Lore about the dragon gods & Namekian lore we probably wont get.

I want Piccolo, Krillin, Gohan, & others will be involved. Piccolo because of the Namekian & wosh granting dragon lore. Gohan because his interaction with Granolah eould be interesting since Gohan is half Saiyan & views himself as an Earthling. Krillin & other Earthlings because they can bring tensions where characters like Goku & Vegeta can't. Those 2 are too strong for there to be any real tension. However Earthlings aren't all powerful so them using wits to survive is more exciting. But I doubt any of their involvement.

How long a Cerealian year is? Is it shorter than a Namekian year? How much time will pass for the Cerealian Dragon Balls to be active? How much stronger than Granolah will Goku get? Hopefully the answers aren't lazy...

Will Beerus finally fight somebody? There are 6 mortals that are near or above his power (Goku, Granolah, Vegeta, Broly, Freeza, Gohan).

Who's the villian of the next arc & what explanation is going to be given for them having power on the level of Angels? Angel tier fights don't sound interesting to me anymore. After those kinds of battles, Goku will have no challengers left.

Will Goku disappear to train or something so the story can TRY to match up with the EoZ?

Will Goten, Trunks, & Marron hit their growth spurts within 3 yrs?

Will we get spin-off manga about other characters? PLEASE!? 🙏

Also DBS moved too quickly when it comes to power. Now we're at the point that Goku & Vegeta need to stop being involved in fights for there to be any actual threat or tension. The Buu saga took place in AGE 774. After training for 4 years of peace, Goku thought SS3 & fusion was his limits as a Saiyan and he was right. Well, kinda... Goku was introduced to god ki near the end of AGE 778. Then in AGE 781, Goku masters Ultra Instinct... He mastered an Angel technique in 2 year or 2.5 yrs. That was waaaay too fast. As a result the storytelling & writing are suffering from this rushed progress. Now we're gonna have an Angel tier opponent? According to the pattern of DBS, Goku's gonna end up surpassing the Angels within 2 or 3 yrs after learning god ki. Thats not impressive for Goku, that's terrible writing. And no, Goku getting this strong so fast is not a benefit to Saiyans either. It just shows us that without god ki, Saiyans ain't all that powerful unless they're the legendary Saiyan like Broly. Saiyans didn't even have a concept of training until Goku was trained by Earthlings. Gohan, Freeza, 17, & I'm pretty sure Piccolo as well have all surpassed SS3 without the help of god ki. God ki makes Saiyans look like they have limits. With god ki, the writing is broken....

I got off topic again... Anyways that's the end of my review.

#dbs manga review #dbs manga #dragon ball #db #dragon ball super #dbs #edited out the 10 yrs of peace because the original manga never says that

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purplebass · 4 years

Note

📝 with Thomastair and "I'm not going to yell at you"??? Congratulations 🎊

Hi Anushka! I hope you like the fic 💜

Couple: Thomastair Prompt: “I’m not going to yell at you” Rating: T Title: Live For

Thomas sighed once he was before the beautiful Victorian house at 102 Cornwall Garden, then reminded himself why he was there. He wasn’t paying any of its inhabitants a social a visit, but rather, he was there for business. He wouldn’t call the Clave’s orders business, but still, he was there for a reason and that reason wasn’t a pleasant one.

His parents returned to London the week before and his father Gideon asked Thomas whether he wanted to join in some of the activities of the Clave. Thomas had agreed on the spot because he wanted to keep himself busy. He still wanted to find whoever had killed his sister Barbara and make them pay. Thomas accepted without knowing what he would have to do. He was still eighteen, which meant that he would not be given any task that could put him into dangerous situations.

As he crossed the threshold of the Carstairs residence, however, he believed that the job that the older shadowhunters had asked of him was indeed of the dangerous category.

He did not want to be there. He did not want to meet anyone, especially him. Thomas wished that he would not meet those black eyes as he went upstairs after Risa, the Carstairs’ cook, allowed him to proceed. “You can search as much as you want, Mister Lightwood. There is no one home but me. Mrs. Carstairs told me that she wouldn’t interfere with the Clave’s investigation on her husband.”

Thomas had already searched two rooms, even if search was the wrong term to describe what he had been doing. He opened a few drawers, controlled what was on the desk of one of the rooms. Checked inside the books that were scattered on one armchair – Cordelia’s room most likely, since there were dresses on the back of another chair. Nothing interesting to see there. He was swift, tried to put everything back where he found it, and left.

How much he hated that. He didn’t like to pry in the lives of Cordelia and her mother, but he couldn’t defy the Clave’s orders. His hand hesitated on the handle of the third room. There were only four rooms on this floor, and he knew that either this one or the next would be his room. He closed his eyes as he opened the door, despite he knew he wouldn’t find him there.

“What a mess,” he commented, noticing even more scattered books and newspapers on the desk next to the window and clothes on the small sofa nearby. He decided to start from the desk since it was messier and there could be something interesting hidden. He didn’t think he would find anything there, but he still had to look. Unlike the previous rooms, he was compelled to explore that one. He didn’t know why, but he was curious to know more about him.

Alastair had been quite abrasive in the past and had spread false rumors, but Thomas believed that everyone deserved to be given the benefit of the doubt and everyone needed to be given a second chance. As much as he had felt a hole in his heart once he discovered he had helped spreading those false gossips about his family, Thomas knew that there was much more to Alastair than he let on.

Thomas found a little black book in one of Alastair’s drawers. There were just two letters written on it, A.C., his name and surname, and there was a pencil tied to it with a small cord. He thought that Alastair probably carried it around with him to scribble random things on it – he was, after all, an observer. And he was smart.

Thomas knew that he shouldn’t interfere in Alastair’s business, yet he found himself untying the cord and opening the small pad.

December 8th, 1903.

He knows. He knows and I can’t do anything but accept it. He would have known sooner or later; better now that later. I probably deserve it, even if it hurts my soul. No, what soul. I don’t have a soul. You’re out of line. Stop. You have already cried once. Move on. Hate is better than indifference. And you can still see him from afar.

“I didn’t think you were the nosy type, Lightwood.”

Thomas jumped. He tightened his grip on the small diary and tried to hide it, but Alastair had already stridden towards him. “I am not nosy. Meddling in other people’s business is not my style.” Alastair’s eyes fixated on the black object in his hands, and he wanted to say something else, but it was useless. “I didn’t read anything,” Thomas tried to add, but Alastair interrupted him by raising his index finger to silence him.

“I’m not going to yell at you,” Alastair told him, still observing the black diary and noticing that Thomas’ hands were a bit shaky. “I know you are doing your job.”

“I’m sorry I have to do this, but you know the law.”

Something crossed Alastair’s face, and Thomas tried to figure out what it was, but it was impossible because it lasted a few seconds. “And I won’t be stopping you from following orders. Search as much as you want. I don’t care.”

Alastair walked away from Thomas as if he hadn’t been there, as if he was just a figment of his imagination, and he took off his jacket.

“You always wear black,” Thomas said without realizing it. He couldn’t stop himself from saying it. He knew that he told him just because he didn’t want to be ignored. He was already hurt, but that hurt him more.

Thomas saw Alastair’s back tense. “I like black,” he replied, glancing over his shoulder at Thomas.

They stared at each other without breaking eye contact until Thomas spoke again. “I didn’t like your oxygenated hair,” he told him bravely. He never told him something like that and he didn’t know how Alastair would react. He felt the need to tell him, an urgency he couldn’t control. He felt comfortable to ask him that.

Alastair turned towards Thomas and rubbed his hands together. “Me either, to be honest.”

“Then why did you do it?”

Alastair sighed and bit his lip. “We all do a lot of things to please other people, Lightwood. Not everything we do, we do it for ourselves. But you know what is great? That at some point, we realize that we should not let other people dictate how to live our lives. Shouldn’t people accept us for who we are?”

Thomas thought Alastair’s words to be very vague, general. Applying to everyone but to no one at the same time. He was trying to tell him something without being direct. “If we have to change to please other people, it just means they do not deserve us.”

Alastair’s mouth remained half-open as he mulled over Thomas’ words. Thomas saw the change in his features again, because in a span of seconds, Alastair’s face went from stunned to distressed, as if he did not expect Thomas’ answer or as if he knew that he would say those words and he didn’t want to hear them.

And then, Alastair closed himself to the world again. “If you’re done here, I think you should go.”

Thomas nodded and walked towards Alastair. He wanted to talk more, but he knew that Alastair had already shared too much. He was grateful they had talked.

He didn’t dare to look at him in the eyes, but his body was still angled in his direction and he was still looking at him sideways. “I meant well, Alastair,” Thomas finally declared, extending his hand to pass the black diary he was still holding to him.

Alastair hesitated at first, not able to take his eyes off the tiny journal, but then he grabbed it from Thomas’ hold and their hands touched briefly. Thomas couldn’t help himself and held on Alastair’s wrist, as you do when you want to drag somebody away. His grip was gentle. Alastair’s fingers trembled nervously under Thomas’ touch. He wanted to squeeze Thomas’s hand but he didn’t have the strength to make that move, and neither did Thomas.

“Do not let the past blacken your soul, Carstairs,” Thomas murmured. He let go of Alastair’s hand and walked away before he could reply.

That night, Alastair cried again, but not for the same reason he had cried after Cordelia’s engagement party. He cried because he realized Thomas was right. He thought he didn’t have a soul, and if he had a soul, it was a dark one.

How much he was wrong. He did have a soul. And that night, it only wept one name.

Thomas.

How much he loved him… but he would never tell him.

How it hurt. How it drained all the life out of him, but at the same time, it made him feel alive.

And Thomas was a good reason to stay alive.

#thomastair #thomas lightwood #alastair carstairs #thomas and alastair #alastair and thomas #tlh #the last hours #tlh fanfic #chain of gold #chain of iron #chain of thorns #tsc #the shadowhunter chronicles #Tweety celebrates 8.8K #posta #halosthetic

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angelz-dust · 4 years

Text

masters of none - part 2 (jason todd x reader)

summary: thank you all for taking interest in this! i’ve gotten wonderful feedback and helpful criticism that i appreciate so much. i’ve decided to give you guys some more jason since i’m sure you all want to see him lol. i have a plan tho so bear with me. we are currently laying the foundation.

word count: 2.9k

warnings: alcohol. food mention. anxious reader.

part 1 /// part 3

ungodly hour

when you decide you like yourself. when you decide you need someone. when you don't have to think about it.

...

you felt an uncomfortable churning in your stomach as your bare back pressed against the cold leather seats of the limousine. you laced your fingers and rested your hand over your middle, hoping the subtle self soothing would calm your nerves. it wasn't everyday you went to a wayne gala after all. your silence and clear discomfort was enough to stir a reaction from misha, one of your fellow producers and stylist.

"you doing alright over there?" she asked after applying her lipgloss, carefully wiping the corners of her mouth.

"chillin'," you responded with a little shrug.

that was a lie. you felt like you were going to shit and projectile vomit simultaneously. however, it was freezing in the limo so you were definitely chilling in some sense of the word. your navy off the shoulder dress made of tulle embroidered with stars but it wasn't really warm. your shoulders were exposed and so was a good portion of your arms. you didn't know how misha was holding up in her dress. her entire back and arms had to protection from the cold at all.

"you know this isn't a big deal, right?" she reminded you gently. she must have picked up on your discomfort. "we'll go in, i'll network with the old money of gotham, and we'll leave."

"yeah but where does that leave me?" you asked her, shifting in your seat and almost slipping out of it. the tulle didn't provide much traction against the slippery leather. "i'm your plus one, remember? i serve no purpose."

"i thought that was the selling point," she pouted before making an attempt to cheer you up. "you don't serve no purpose. you're there to make me look good. my arm candy."

"i believe people may see it as the other way around," you informed her with a sigh. "but... fine. as long as you don't leave me alone."

"and let somebody snatch up my trophy wife?" misha scoffed, causing you to exhale through your nose with a barely visible smile. "i'm not letting you out of my sight!"

the limousine slowly stopped in front of the venue, your door lined up with the red carpet that had been laid out for the guests. it was time. you glanced around, briefly considering your escape plan just as the driver had opened the door, snuffing our any idiotic thoughts you had about jumping out through the sunroof or shimming out of the opposing window, away from the prying eyes of the paparazzi.

the lights. bright, blinding white lights flashing on and off. if you weren't acutely aware of where you were at the moment, you would've thought some kid had an essay due at midnight with the furious clicking and shuttering that filled your ears. misha was the first to step out, waiting for you to maneuver your way out.

the golden light emanating from the venue, paired with the harsh lights from the press honestly made misha look even more beautiful than normal. here you were, completely out of your element, standing next to a goddess in lilac chiffon. you looked up at her, noticing how the soft edges of her face contrasted with the sharp ones of her collarbone and the plunging v neck only accentuated that. the person you were with wasn't your friend, or your label mate. no, you were with gotham's resident fashionista and trendsetter, misha matsuri. if anyone was the arm candy, it was her.

you were brought out of your trance when she linked arms with you and began leading out down the red carpet. you honestly couldn't make out what the paparazzi were shouting at you both, aside from the occasional scream of your names. normally, you'd be a little more lively but this was a very important and formal event. it wasn't like the times where you went to award shows and you could feed off of the other seven's excited energy. you weren't surrounded by fans or people who were interested in hearing about you. you were here for misha and only her. you liked that aspect of it, but it was still uncharted territory for you.

"misha! can you tell us more about your foundation?" a reporter asked, pushing through the eager paparazzi who wanted to monopolize on their close contact with you both.

"of course," misha smiled, flipping her hair out of her face. "to cut to the chase, m squared is making fashion accessible to everyone. we've have homeless people on the streets who have no access to clothes that are befitting of the harsh weather they endure on a daily basis. we have low income families who can't afford to give their children new clothing for the school year. there are people who can't afford a nice shirt and slacks for their job interviews. our goal is the provide these people with what they need. access to clothing is a necessity, not a luxury."

you listened to misha and felt pride swell up in your chest, replacing the nausea that had plagued you previously. you were quickly reminded of why you came with her in the first place. she was trying to do something wonderful for the community and aid others in doing the same.

misha left it at that, dragging you along once she had said what she wanted. "see? that wasn't so bad."

"we haven't even crossed the threshold, mother teresa," you reminded her, jerking your chin in the direction of the large double doors behind held open for you both. misha flashed her invitation to the bouncer, quickly being let in.

the two of you walked in and you were stunned at the venue. everyone was dressed to the nines. you recognized many politicians, socialites, and some celebrities as you worked your way to the main ballroom. you felt your eyes widened as you saw bruce wayne out socializing with his guests. you had seen him on the news and in magazines but never in person. he was much taller than you expected. and closer in proximity to you. how was that happening?

"miss matsuri, miss l/n," he had greeted you both, almost surprising you. you weren't sure if misha brought you to him or he brought himself to you. maybe they met halfway while you were in shock. either way, he was here now. "it's wonderful to finally meet you both."

both? he knew you? bruce wayne knew you?

"thank you for your invitation, mr. wayne," misha smiled politely as they gently shook hands. he turned to you, offering you the same courtesy. you felt your brain lag out before you snapped out of it, taking his hand with nervous laughter. "it was a pleasant surprise."

"anyone that has the best interest of gotham in mind deserves recognition and support for their efforts. and please, bruce is fine."

you zoned out as bruce gave you the run down on the place. your eyes wandered around, occasionally lining up with a location bruce was telling you about. you were brought out of your boredom when you heard a loud crash off in the distance. you saw a group of four boys all surrounding a broken champagne bottle like it was a crime scene. you saw a twinge of annoyance on bruce's face before he collected himself.

"please excuse me. i need to reprimand my sons," he said apologetically, making his way over to the group who paled at his presence, except for the youngest one.

"father, this was todd's doing," you heard him say with a frown. "he kept antagonizing drake and they knocked over the champagne. grayson and i were merely bystanders."

"you are such a snitch," the apparent perpetrator sneered.

"here, come on," misha laughed, dragging you away from the scene. "i have old men to seduce for their money."

your gaze lingered on the group while you were dragged away. you knew that none of them were related by blood, expect for the little one and bruce, but handsome clearly ran in the wayne family. there must be something in that expensive tap water.

you spent majority of the night helping misha on her quest for benefactors. she wasn't made of money and she had made it clear that she didn't want money coming from the community. she wanted to 'milk the rich bastards of gotham for everything they've got' or something to that effect.

not actively participating in these conversations required you to try and keep yourself occupied. you started counting the chandeliers (there were five), thinking about one of the tracks you were working on (the chorus was lacking something and you didn't know what it was), and at one point you tried listening in on other conversations, hoping to hear about something juicy (you didn't).

how many glasses of champagne have you had now? three? four? you lost count. you realized you should've been counting them instead of the chandeliers. either way, you were definitely starting to feel the effects of that err. or was that the sensation of being watched?

misha had left to use the bathroom, leaving you by the fancy finger foods. as you ate the bacon wrapped enoki mushrooms, you could feel the presence of another person. you swallowed your food with a helpful swig of champagne before turning to the person who had made a claim on one of the strawberries with chocolate drizzle.

you watched as his lips parted, carefully taking a bite of the potentially messy dessert, his gaze directed at you. it was the handsome wayne boy from earlier. the champagne murderer was what you were calling him in your head. he was very tall and much better looking up close. his eyes were very striking, too. from the look in those eyes, you quickly figured out what he was trying to do.

"she's in the bathroom," you informed him, his brow perking silently as he chewed the berry, licking his lips of any lingering juice. he had this look on his face. confusion? but then you saw him fighting back a smile as he looked down at the table before looking over at you again.

"who?" he asked, his tone and look in his eyes awfully playful. you confused his flirty tone for coyness.

"don't play dumb," you laughed. normally, you wouldn't help out guys when it came to getting on misha's good side but you were making an exception for the dangerously handsome champagne murderer. "i can't give you her number. she hates that. but if it's any consolation, you're definitely her type."

"well, what about you?" he asked after taking a short pause to digest your words. "am i your type?"

you scoffed. the gall of this man.

"am i the backup plan or something?"

"no," he said, his lips pursed slightly as he shook his head. "would you like to be?"

"there's not going to be a plan to back up if you're trying it with me," you told him seriously. what a dick. it was to be expected, though. he was bruce wayne's son after all. of course he was a player.

"i never said i was trying anything. you're the one who keeps assuming things," he reminded you with a little grin. "had it occurred to you that i came over here, simply wanting to indulge myself in these divine strawberries?"

and he did just that, looking you in the eye as he took a slow bite of his new berry, raising a brow as you watched him. "what?"

"are they as divine as you anticipated?" you asked, not being able to resist some teasing.

"absolutely."

there was something about the way he answered you. was he flirting? were you flirting? the champagne was making it hard to read the situation. there was no way someone as gorgeous as him would spare you a glance and even if he did, you didn't have the time or energy for romance.

"alright. i'll be honest. i came over here because, well, i'm a fan," he told you, turning his body to fully face you now.

"oh," you nodded, not sure what to say next. when people led with that, it always felt awkward. were you supposed to say thank you, or was that weird?

"yeah. i've always wanted to meet batman."

you visibly paused, turning to face him as you watched him give you a lopsided grin. you breathed out a laugh, shaking your head. so he was a fan. he was referencing something you tweeted a few days ago. someone had jokingly made a conspiracy thread, claiming at you and the rest of cloud 9 were the vigilantes of gotham. they had theorized that you were orphan, to which you rebuffed, saying that you were clearly batman and they were blind not to see the resemblance.

"shhh, it's a secret," you whispered, putting your index finger to your lips.

"ohhh. right, right. my mistake," he whispered back with a firm nod. "how do you juggle your two jobs, though? seems difficult."

"well, if you must know, batman is actually a robot that i control from the comfort of my couch. very advanced technology. you wouldn't get it," you joked, making jason laugh out loud. was it really that funny or were you missing something?

"funny," he answered unintentionally. or you thought. could he read minds? "i'm jason."

"jason," you tested out his name on your tongue. jason. you liked it. "wayne?"

"todd," he quickly corrected you, seeming very adamant that you understood that.

"jason todd," you said again, almost addicted to how it sounded coming from your lips. jason. jason todd.

"and you're y/n l/n," he said, almost as if he were telling you, reminding you that was your name. you weren't sure if you liked saying his name or hearing him say yours more. before you could even register what was happening, he took your hand and gave it a soft kiss.

you locked eyes with him as he looked up at you with his lips, soft as silk, pressed against your knuckles. you could see something in them. he looked... unsure. afraid of his actions. you found yourself subconsciously mirroring his expression in an effort to try and identify it.

"it's a pleasure to finally meet you," you said breathlessly, noting how his demeanor changing a little now that the two of you searched each other's souls for a few seconds. he rubbed his thumb over your fingers before letting go.

"pleasure's all mine," he said, his voice softer now. he was the one who broke eye contact, looking around absentmindedly. he grabbed another strawberry, about to eat it when you went to carefully grab it from him. his lips grazed your fingers as he loosened his lazy grip, letting you take it from him.

"you can't hog them all," you informed him, trying it out for yourself. they were divine, just as jason described them to be. you let out a satisfied hum, which seemed to grab his attention.

"things always taste better when they belong to someone else, right?" he teased and you couldn't help but wonder if there was a double meaning to that.

"you don't own the strawberries, jason.”

"no, but i owned the one that's in your mouth, y/n."

you were sure he was saying these things on purpose now. you just smiled, softly sucking the juice off the pads of your fingers. seldom did the opportunity to harmlessly flirt with someone present itself so you wanted to enjoy it while you could. during your back and forth, you could feel yourself holding back, despite this. you felt jason was doing the same. you were both constantly thinking about what you were doing and actively fighting against it but not doing a very good job at it. it was odd, but you felt like you and jason had this unspoken, mutual understanding for what you were doing in that moment.

still, you couldn't let yourself fall into that trap. you knew when this was all over, that was it. nothing would come from it and you were fine with that. besides, he was a fan, right? it wasn’t right to be with a fan. there was a power imbalance there that you weren’t looking to exploit.

"sorry to interrupt, but my wife and i have an early morning tomorrow," you heard misha say from behind you as she wrapped her long, slender arms around you. saved by the bell.

"wife?" he parroted, giving you a curious look.

"yeah, for like, two more hours," you reminded her as you glanced at your watch.

"and you have to respect the sanctity of our fake marriage until then. just like cinderella," misha told you, putting her arm around your shoulder now.

"i don't think that's how the story goes," you laughed, giving jason an apologetic look afterwards. "i should get going."

"i understand. i'd hate to be branded a home wrecker," he joked and misha gave him a look.

"oh, i'm sure you would," she smirked, tugging you along. "goodbye, thief."

"bye jason," you called to him, waving goodbye, receiving a silent wave and smile in return.

"what was that about?" misha nudged you playfully, giving you a suggestive look as she led you through the maze of bodies blocking your escape route.

"i'll tell you on the way home."

you exited the venue from the back, where your limo was waiting for you. what started out as a scary social event ended up being surprisingly fun. you learned a thing or two from watching misha network and that conversation with jason was entertaining, to say the least. you wondered if you’d ever run into him again.

probably not.

#jason todd x reader #red hood x reader #dc x reader #jason todd #bruce wayne #dick grayson #damian wayne #tim drake #batfam

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silverhandsass · 3 years

Text

Can You Feel The Sun (Pt.3)

Buckle up, buttercup! <3

— SPOILER ALERT - this is post-game stuff, read at your own risk —

Read on Ao3

— — — — —

"No. Absolutely not."

Val pushed past the flaps and left the tent after her, taking quick steps to walk around Dakota. "Please, just hear me out."

"No," she barked, folding her arms and frowning. "Last time I helped you, my entire tent nearly burned to a crisp. Do you know how long it took me to rebuild what I lost?"

"You used Arasaka and lost Voodoo tech, stuff that I helped you find," V reminded, trying hard to maintain eye contact with the woman—difficult, considering she kept looking away.

"As payment for destroying my first rig. We're even, I owe you nothing," Dakota reminded.

Val stepped forward, almost aiming to reach for her but opting to gesture instead—better emphasis that way. "It's just a quick peek. Quick poke through the Blackwall and I'll be out before you know it."

"You say that like it's so simple," she scoffed.

There was little left that Valerie could try—that she could promise in order to convince the woman. Perhaps she should have been removing the risk altogether. Val took a deep breath and looked Dakota in the eyes. "If anything happens, if anything comes through or tries to burn your rig again, I... just jack me out."

Her head whipped forward as Dakota stared V in shock, probably wondering if she'd heard her right. "But you'll be stuck there. You might not come back, you'll die out here."

"I know."

With a furious shake of her head, Dakota hissed. "Do you know what Panam will do if she hears you talking like this? Or anyone, for that matter?"

If Dakota did not agree to it, Val had no other option. This wasn't going entirely as she had planned, even though she did expect a bit of resistance—a bit of pushback. Soliciting Rogue's aid had been a bust, Judy was not presently in Night City—might not ever return—and Panam... Bless her, but she wouldn't be able to help her. Dakota was her only option. "I don't know what else to do," she admitted, feeling her voice quiver in time with her lower lip.

"Why do you need to go there?" she demanded.

"I... Everyone that was in Mikoshi is beyond the Blackwall. All the saved engrams..."

"Silverhand," Dakota added, and V simply nodded. There was a heavy pause between them as Dakota pinched the bridge of her nose. She took a deep breath, mumbled something so quietly that V could not comprehend it, and then began speaking. "You get out the moment I tell you—"

Val's eyes widened.

"If you don't... I'm—" Dakota grunted as V wrapped her arms around her tightly, "—leaving your ass in there."

"Fuck, Dakota, I..." Val felt her throat burn with gratitude and relief. "Thank you—"

"Don't thank me," Dakota sighed, like she had told her once before. "Just... get yourself back in one piece or I will kill you myself. Before Panam kills me."

"I'll owe you big for this," V told her.

"Damn right you will."

—

The wind was fucking soothing around that time of day. The sun just on the verge of setting, the heat of it subsiding and allowing for the cool evening breeze to come say hello; it was the sweet spot during the day that V could step outside the car and breathe. Especially when she was partly drenched in blood, sweat and dirt from a day full of fulfilling gigs.

Preferably, it would be somewhere far away from the fumes of the city.

Whenever she'd be in the middle of a job, the coast seemed to be the easiest place to reach. If not the coast, then the canals would have to do—though they did nothing to give her that fresh air she desired. There were days that V had finished her jobs entirely, having enough time to herself that she could sneak a walk along the piers.

On one such day, she found herself sharing that peaceful moment of hers with the surprise guest in her mind. Sure, Val had expected some commentary from him about how cheesy it was, how she was wasting time and how she needed to track down ways to get into Mikoshi, burn down Arasaka, bla bla bla.

But... There was no such talk.

Where Val had sat down, her feet hanging off the pier and toward the water, she watched as the static of the engram slowly faded to show a more coherent image of Johnny—sitting beside her.

"Y'know, I'll probably get why you're doing this in a few hours, when the shit-stained breeze and the salt finally kick into my sensors," he sighed. "But at least the view's not that bad."

It was probably one of the rarer times that had earned a true and genuine smile from V. "Yeah, it's hard to get away from that smell around here, especially with you around all the time."

He flipped her off; she laughed.

Then, she lit a cigarette and took a deep, long drag. "If we're not getting any fresh air, at least we get this," she gestured to the smoke, watching as Johnny lit his own little pixelated cig. When Johnny said nothing, V looked over to him. "You ever have a place like this of your own? Somewhere to go when shit gets a little... too loud?"

He turned from her, looking out to the open water, and V expected that to be that. However, he took off his aviators and pursed his lips, nodding a little. "Yeah. It's actually closer to this side of the city."

"Really?" Val raised a brow. "Well... tell me where it is, we'll pay it a visit."

Johnny looked at her, some look in his eye that she could not quite place. He opened his mouth to speak, then sighed. The aviators went back on, and so did that playful smirk of his. "Maybe some other time."

Right. Coming from anyone else that she knew, that usually meant: never.

Surprising her for the third time that day, he leaned in close and whispered, "It's not a place I go to feel better. This spot's much better for that than mine."

Val shot him a look and found nothing that told her he was being disingenuous. Having hardly had any moments like this, she felt herself wanting to cherish it a little; savor it.

"Then... maybe we can come here again before all this is over," V offered before taking a puff.

"Yeah. Yeah, maybe."

And that usually meant: yes.

—

Well, she certainly did not miss the ice, that's for sure. The moment she gripped onto the tub, two things happened. First, she gasped sharply at the sensation of the cold metal and air biting into her warmth. Her legs dipped into the water and her muscles seized momentarily before shaking uncontrollably. Secondly, her mind was sent right back to Mikoshi just over a year ago, to a familiar arm that pushed her beneath the rim and forward to start her life anew. To him.

I'm coming, you bastard. Please be there. Please.

"You ready? This is going to be rough, you won't have anyone in there with you," Dakota explained.

"It's okay, I-I've done this bef—" she gulped down a shudder, "before."

"That's what worries me," Dakota sighed, glancing back at V once.

Val tried to focus her mind on the coming trip, thinking about what she would say, what she would do. If she found him, was there even a way to bring him back? The chip was still slotted in her head. It was at a standstill, dormant and appeased until further notice—maybe it still had space to carry both of them at once, should she be able to take him with her.

Or would that simply take away from everything they had sacrificed?

Her optics lit up as the rig's interface loaded in. She watched the progress build as she felt her entire body slowly grow numb—both from the cold and the process of being chipped in. Sounds and voices around her began to grow into a blur, images turning distorted and grainy.

The flaps of the tent burst wide open as someone walked in, her attention focused on V. "What the fuck are you doing?!" she yelled—it was Panam. She made a stop by Dakota's deck, then knelt beside the tub. There was little else that V could comprehend, only that Panam was talking to her. Or yelling at her. There was really no way to tell the difference.

She'd understand, though. Hopefully she'd understand.

Val couldn't think about that now, as she felt herself sinking deeper and deeper into a deep, dark pit. The world around her faded away into nothingness, being replaced by a facsimile of her strongest memories built entirely out of streams of data. That blue tinge and the splash of red were things she had hoped to never see again in her lifetime, but such was the way of it all.

Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath and allowed herself to give into the process that Dakota ran her through, letting her guide V to the wall. She dug in deep, searching for the memories left behind like forgotten baggage, the images of a life gone by that did not belong to her—but that felt like her own in some strange way. The early 21st century. Alt. Johnny. She focused on those memories, hoping it would help her find the right way as it once did, hoping that Dakota would pick up on it on her end. It would take time, but V had to hope that this would work—and more importantly, that somebody would be there to greet her on the other side.

—

The haze of consciousness was something Johnny did not miss. All the anesthetics they had been pumping into his system was certainly not doing him any favors when it came to trying to take in his surroundings. He could feel himself waking just before his next dose was applied, putting him down again. It felt as though he was allowed single gasp of air before being pushed right back down into deep waters.

In some ways, this was worse than Mikoshi.

Find the Merc. Find the Merc. Find the Merc.

He wasn't sure exactly how long it had been since he was completely awake, but the more he felt himself reach the brink of complete coherence, the more he began to realize the voices around him grew careless.

Bide his time. That's all he needed to do. Use these little moments to figure a way out of this. There was no way he would ever take Bryce's offer, but Johnny had changed his mind. If he truly was back in a body, there was no way in hell he would let them use it to their advantage.

Find the Merc.

All he needed was a bit more time.

—

The wall was a little more menacing than she remembered. Perhaps it was because she was entirely alone in the Net. She had Dakota's protective eyes and ears above, watching from the outside, but within the streams of pixels and data, she was well and truly alone—and her blades could do nothing to protect her here.

Even within the construct, she could feel her insides churning and her guts aching in nervousness. She wondered what she would find, and found herself stopping inches before the wall, unable to keep moving.

But time was a luxury she did not have.

Whether or not she was truly prepared, V had to give it a shot. She had to try anything to silence the aching madness within her chest. Reaching out to touch the red wave was the first step.

It was unclear just when exactly she had switched over, but the intimidating clouds of red and darkness around her signified a horrifying truth. She was now beyond the Blackwall once again. Entirely alone, once again. There was no sign of anything nearby—thank fuck—but there was no other way to get what she needed than to go against her survival instincts right now.

Valerie took a deep breath.

"Johnny!" She cried out, her voice echoing into nothingness.

And that vast emptiness stared right back.

"Johnny!" She cried again, "Talk to me!"

No response.

Her blood—simulation or not—ran completely cold, and a pit grew in her stomach. "J-Johnny?" V called, a little softer this time, maybe a little broken. Her arms wrapped around herself as she looked around, waiting for a small glimmer, a small change in the landscape.

She waited, and waited, and waited.

Nothing came.

Maybe he was actually, well and truly gone. She had to come here, she reminded herself. She knew this would be a possibility. V had allowed herself a small inkling of hope, a kernel of light that she allowed to influence her decisions. It had been over a year and she deserved closure. She wanted to know that she had done the right thing.

More than that, perhaps she had hoped to hear his voice again, even if it wasn't entirely him anymore. And yet... She waited for a minute; two; three, and nothing came.

Only silence.

Then, she swallowed the lump in her throat and knew there was one final thing to be done before she could leave. One last thing she could try. She mustered up the courage within her and hoped that it would be the right thing to do, taking a deep breath and tilting her chin high. "Alt!" She called out into the air.

"You should not be here," the voice boomed, loud and sudden as a large red mass formulated into a familiar form in front of V.

"Alt?" V glanced up.

"V," she replied. "You've managed to survive the effects of the biochip so far."

"I have," no thanks to you, she almost added, but that wasn't fair. Alt did give her a head start—even if it was mainly due to Johnny's presence. It was as she had once said to V, they would not be talking if it wasn't for him. "I'm here for Johnny."

"You came all this way, on your own with no way out, you risked your life and the stability of the biochip, just to come here," Alt stated, her form shifting a bit closer and seemingly larger. "You also risked being followed, or tracked, or even hunted; risked bringing the ever-present dangers of the outside world within—to me. I had told you once that there were many dangers lurking beyond the Blackwall, but you do not listen."

"Alt..." V muttered, a sense of dread building within her.

"You risk yourself anyway. You and Johnny made a sacrifice, and yet you cast it aside so easily. You are too late."

Too late...

"Alt, where the fuck is he?" V asked adamantly.

"He is not here," Alt revealed in monotone.

"What."

"Johnny is not here," she repeated more clearly.

"He's... He's gone? He's merged with you, then?" V asked, feeling her heart pounding hard within her chest.

"No. You do not understand. Johnny did not cross the Blackwall with me, as he should have. He remained in Mikoshi long after you left, despite my best efforts to convince him to leave."

"This can't..." V took a breath, and another, trying hard to maintain her composure as the panic set in.

"Johnny is not here."

No, no, no.

"He was never here."

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lunariasilver · 3 years

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The Virtuoso - 4. Meteor City IV

Masterlist

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A/N I'm sorry guys, the ending of this chapter kicked my fucking ass. I've been sitting on it being almost done forever.

After the troupe left, I started composing a song for them. I wasn't sure why. It wasn't like I was going to be able to play it for them but...it provided me with some peace. It reminded me of them. It wasn't just them that playing my violin reminded me of, though.

Every time I looked at it I remembered my grandfather. My mother, my father...my brothers. It made me want to tear it apart.

I wouldn't, though. My father always told me I was a sentimental fool, and he was right.

The music it made was nice, at least.

Inspiration had struck me in the middle of the street and I was working on a random stanza. Eventually I was going to have to put all of these parts together, but for now I just kept coming up with more pieces. I couldn't help but wonder if they would ever fit together.

I was interrupted by a familiar face. I couldn't quite place it at first, though.

"Give me your violin!" She demanded, standing in a threatening manner.

I stared at her blankly.

"Now, or- or I'll kill you!" She continued.

Oh, that's right. Zara. The girl I made lead me into the part of the city that people actually lived in.

"Why?" I asked. I was still positioned to play as if her presence made no difference to me. It didn't really.

"I'm- I'm gonna sell it!" Zara yelled. The woman was practically shaking. How tedious.

I tilted my head to the side. "To who?"

"Um-"

"Nobody here would ever buy this. Nobody can play it." I paused. "Why do you want it?"

Zara faltered, lowering her fists and looking at the ground. "Y-your music is beautiful. I thought that...maybe I could make it."

It remained silent. She was still trembling. She probably thought I was going to kill her. I was considering it. She did threaten me, after all...

"Would you like me to teach you?" I offered, surprising even myself.

After that, more and more people began approaching me asking for lessons. They started trading with me for them.

It was almost like I was an actual musician holding classes. After a while, people started trading violins to people. I assumed they bought them with whatever money they made working for the mafia.

I saw the mafia often. Well, their runners. It was strange how many jobs they were doing recently. They'd come to me a few times to ask me to handle a job for them. I obviously could never complete them, but I could at least point them in the direction of somebody who could. After the fourth time of me doing that, they started to come to me first. They even payed me. Jenny was no good to me, so I gave them a list of things that would work as payment.

I couldn't wait to discuss my new books with Chr-

Oh.

Right.

I was in the middle of teaching a class when I felt a familiar presence. It had been two months since I had last felt it. I almost dropped my violin I whipped around so fast-

"Chrollo?"

"I hadn't even said hello yet." Chrollo said, seemingly amused by my quick response to his presence. "What's this?"

My class was unnerved, but seemed to trust me to protect them from the former resident. "I'm teaching them to play the violin."

"How domestic."

I pursed my lips, trying to hide how truly pleased I was to see him. "I have to do something while you're not here." I then turned to face my class. "An old friend of mine is visiting. Class is over for today. Your next lesson will be free. I apologize."

They grumbled a bit, but they knew better than to kick up a fuss. When they were gone I turned to face Chrollo.

He was still smiling. "I brought you some books and sheet music."

I wasn't quite sure what to say to him, and I think he could sense that.

"I also brought food."

And those were the magic words. "What food did you bring? Is it cake? Cookies? Pasta?" I asked, advancing on him quickly.

His smile seemed to grow warmer at this. "You'll have to find out."

I narrowed my eyes. "Let's eat now."

"So impatient."

"Come on!" I demanded, grabbing him by his free arm and dragging him with me. When we got to my "residence" I paused for a brief moment.

"I-" I started, staring at the ground for a moment.

"Yes?"

I shook my head before dragging him inside. "I'm gonna have to read the books before you leave. So we can discuss them."

I didn't think you'd come back.

I was less sad when Chrollo left again. After all, this time I knew he'd be back. All of them would be back. They had no reason to, but they would. Just to visit me.

How strange.

The song that I had been composing with them in mind was so much easier now. I could hear how the puzzle fit together. It all started making sense to me. It had to be perfect, though. I couldn't count the amount of times that I had scrapped an entire section. Chrollo had given me a notebook that I was using to write it all down. I couldn't risk losing any of what I had already come up with. Maybe one day I would play it for them all. I knew Paku at least would like to hear it.

Time kept passing me by. Members of the troupe visited from time to time, usually by themselves. Sometimes they visited in pairs, but never all at once. That was fine with me.

Any time they got a new member somebody came to introduce them to me. Apparently Chrollo wanted there to be a total of thirteen members. I wasn't really sure why. (I mean, I had an idea, but he had never actually told me.) It kind of stung that I couldn't be a member, but I understood why. What use could I be to them if I couldn't leave the city?

Still, they clearly cared about me, and that was all I really needed.

Meteor City was starting to feel more like home. My thoughts didn't turn to Zoldyck Manor nearly as often as they used to. The people here were all fond of me. Or at the very least they knew better than to outwardly express their distaste of me.

I didn't "take care of people's problems" as often as I used to, since I was so busy with my classes, but I was still willing. Not to mention I had begun to serve as a liaison for the mafia. Honestly, aside from the complete and utter lack of modern amenities, Meteor City was quite comfortable.

I did miss having a chef, though. I still couldn't quite grasp the concept of cooking. Nobody had ever explained it to me. And it wasn't like I had an abundance of seasoning here.

....I missed good food so much.

Apparently the Troupe had gotten pretty busy as of late, trying to establish themselves in the greater world. They didn't have the time to visit me like they used to. It was okay though, I knew they hadn't forgotten about me. They still sent me messages from time to time, so I at least knew that they were thinking of me.

I tried not to think about how much I wanted to join them in whatever it was they were up to. That line of thought was dangerous. It might make me do something reckless.

I was laying on my pathetic mattress staring at a scarf that Paku had gotten me. It wasn't the actual scarf, it was a copy that I had conjured up. It had been quite some time since she had visited me. I missed her. I really wanted to see her again.

I closed my eyes, sighing heavily. Suddenly, it felt like I was falling, which was impossible.

My eyes shot open and I was standing in an unfamiliar bedroom. It was opulently decorated.

"What the fuck?" I muttered, looking around before I spotted a familiar face.

"Paku?" I questioned. She didn't look at me. She was currently cooking.

"Paku!" I tried again. Still no answer. "Pukunoda!" I exclaimed. It seemed she finally heard me as she whipped around to face me. Her gun was already drawn. She lowered it upon recognizing me, a perplexed expression on her face.

"Ivela? How did you get here?" She asked.

I looked around. "I have no idea. I was just holding the scarf you gave me and thinking about seeing you and then I was here." I shrugged at her. I had no real explanation.

Paku paused before nodding. "Ah. It must be your specialist ability."

"I'm not a specialist." I stated, raising an eyebrow at her.

She furrowed her eyebrows at me. "But you are."

That is not what my parents told me. "I must have developed a specialist ability, I guess." I was a conjurer.

"...I suppose." She said, seemingly unconvinced. "You'll have to figure out its limitations yourself."

I nodded. "I wouldn't expect you to have any insight."

I stayed and talked with her for a long while, quickly discovering that it didn't seem to have any kind of time restraint. That was good to know.

I figured out that going back was done much the same way as getting here.

I spent a lot of time figuring out my ability, which I decided not to give a name to. It seemed to tie into my conjuration ability quite nicely. I figured I'd just call it a part of "Gift Box."

In my defense I named my ability when I was young.

I found that I had to have been given a gift from somebody in order to visit with them, and I had to have chosen to use that particular gift within my Gift Box ability.

All of my Gift Box restrictions applied. When I was visiting someone, they couldn't see or feel me until I said their name. Their first or last name would suffice, I discovered, but it couldn't be a nickname.

Only they could see or feel me when I was visiting them. And I couldn't attack them, just the same as they couldn't attack me. I hadn't quite tested the theory on how my ability differentiated between an attack and innocent touching. That required further experimentation.

It was nice, actually. I could still see everyone without ever having to leave.

I could even see Killua.

He thought I was an imaginary friend.

I even checked up on my parents and grandfather from time to time. They seemed to be doing well, but I wasn't expecting them to be suffering. I was always careful to never make them aware of my presence, however. They didn't need to know what I was capable of. My luck they'd forbid it.

The time between the visits from the troupe grew ever larger, but it didn't really matter since I could visit whenever I wanted! I saw them all the time! It wasn't quite the same as seeing them in person, though. Apparently I felt different to them. Every time I visited Uvo he would throw something at my head. It would always just sail harmlessly through me. It was usually a can of beer.

He always looked so disappointed that I hadn't caught it. I think he was upset because now he couldn't drink the beer. (Cause it was all shaken up.)

The last time he visited the city he brought a keg.

That was a good time.

I barely thought of returning to Zoldyck Manor anymore.

It was almost like no time at all had passed before it was the second anniversary of my arrival to Meteor City. It was strange. This place was supposed to be a punishment, but it felt like anything but.

Which, admittedly, didn't make me feel as good as it should.

It wasn't like I had been falsely accused. I deserved to be punished.

I shook those thoughts away. It was better not to focus on them. The present was so much more pleasant than the past.

I hadn't been expecting it, but...the entire troupe came to visit me. I couldn't quite figure out why. It seemed like a strange thing to do.

I appreciated it, though.

Everyone around me was talking and laughing. I didn't know what about. Try as I might, I couldn't pay attention. I was too busy wishing it could be like this all the time.

I was too busy wondering what it would be like to really be a part of the Phantom Troupe.

I was too caught up in the realization that sitting here with all of them felt right in a way being with my actually family had never.

"When is your birthday, Ivela?"

I blinked. Chrollo was looking at me expectantly. Actually, they all were. I assume they had been talking about birthdays before and I realized they had no idea when mine was.

I made a split second decision.

"Today, actually. July 8th." The day I came to Meteor City. I didn't know why, but the day I was born a Zoldyck didn't feel like the right answer anymore.

The troupe were immediately in an uproar.

"Why didn't you tell us?!"

That seemed to be a sentiment shared by them all.

"Sorry, sorry." I said sheepishly.

"It's just a good thing we had a gift for you anyway!" Uvo exclaimed.

I narrowed my eyes. "Gift?"

"Hey! You weren't supposed to tell her that yet!" Nobu yelled.

"Uvo!" Chrollo said harshly.

The others also admonished him.

"We were gonna give it to her anyway!" Uvo defended.

Paku sighed. "The plan was to give it to her when we left. But I suppose now we don't have a choice."

I was beginning to think they liked giving me gifts because they felt bad for me, being cooped up here. That didn't bother me as much as it should have, though. Maybe people should feel a little bad for me. I have to bathe in a dirty river.

"I'm waiting with bated breath." I said blankly.

"We're gonna wipe that look off your face." Machi vowed. "Close your eyes."

I did as requested. If it isn't food I'm gonna be pissed-

I almost snickered at my own joke.

A moment later, I was told to open my eyes. Chrollo was standing in front of me holding a violin. At first glance it was nothing special. I was confused. I already had a violin, I didn't need-

Wait.

My eyes widened as I carefully took the violin from him. It was a Strandivari Violin.

Back when the world was my oyster, (so long as I obeyed,) I had taken a particular interest in valuable violins, for obvious reasons. This one in particular was...

Insane.

I looked at Chrollo with my eyes wide, and turned my gaze to the other members. They were all staring at me.

This was literally the most valuable violin in the world. This violin was...perfection.

I couldn't believe they'd stolen this for me.

Whenever my family had given me gifts, they'd always been practical. Any gifts that weren't murder related weren't gifts at all. They were rewards.

A dagger. A bottle of poison. A blade hidden within a bracelet.

Nothing they ever gave me was to create. Every 'gift' I received from them was a tool meant to help me do whatever they wanted me to. Nothing was ever chosen just because I might like it.

In contrast, the troupe had always brought me things that made them think of me. They brought me books. They brought me food, sheet music, scarves, clothes. Things to make me more comfortable.

Things to make me happy.

Things to make me smile.

"Ivela?" I heard Chrollo ask.

I blinked, registering that my eyes had started to well up. I blinked rapidly, trying to clear my eyes.

"Do you like it?" He asked softly.

I stepped back and regarded the whole troupe, as opposed to just Chrollo.

They were all staring at me.

I stared back blankly, before I smiled warmly. "I love it."

The uproar was immediate.

"What a pretty smile!" (I still hate Shalnark.)

"Ivela can smile?!?!"

"I DIDN'T THINK SHE COULD!!"

"You guys haven't seen her smile?" That one was Chrollo.

"You have??!?!?!"

I just kept smiling at the chaos I had caused, waiting for it to settle down. If anything, my smile was only growing wider.

I adored these people.

I snickered as the chaos only grew. They were being completely ridiculous. It was just a smile.

I pursed my lips and turned away from the Troupe. They quieted down immediately as I positioned my new violin on my shoulder.

"So. Do you guys want to hear a song?"

I didn't wait for a response, instead choosing to force them to listen to me play the song I'd written for them.

8 years passed mostly uneventfully.

After that first birthday celebration, the trend of me seeing the troupe in person less and less continued, although they all came for my birthday every year. Or...they did. Before my father came. Before he killed a member on my birthday.

(To be fair, he was unaware that it was my birthday. But still. To hell with him.)

I liked the girl he killed. She was kind.

He and Chrollo fought. My father didn't stick around to finish the fight. Of course he didn't. Chrollo wasn't his target.

I couldn't do anything. I couldn't even let my father see me.

After that, it was decided that the Troupe having a regular day where they're all in one place was a bad idea, even if it was only once a year.

I still saw them, but those get-togethers that I had so cherished were long gone. I started to get a little scrappy with everyone that I could. I had to be the strongest Zoldyck. At least for now. My training regimen was intense.

I met many people over the years, although only two of them were particularly memorable. They all inevitably left or died any way. Aside from those two, the only people I bothered to remember were my violin students.

I remembered a girl that I trained. She grew to be quite strong. So strong that when a butler from the Zoldyck estate came looking for a new apprentice, I sent her off with them.

Cruel, perhaps, but it was what she wanted. Besides, the family never did much to the butlers. They wouldn't treat her the way they'd treated me. She'd be fine.

The other....well. Ging was...well. Um. Hm.

He wasn't someone I liked to think about.

Some of my violin students managed to get out of Meteor City and make something of themselves.

Or at least I hoped they had. I only really knew that they had left to go join an orchestra or something. I try not to think about them either.

No, I have to stay focused. I have to keep running towards my goal.

I'm going to get out of Meteor City.

A/N

Okay guys once again I am so sorry. That birthday scene was something I had a very specific plan in mind for, and executing that was a struggle. (I'm pretty happy with it.) Plus I'm doing the school thing again, so...that isn't helping with writing time. But I'm not going on another insane hiatus! I promise.

Anyway, here we are! Next chapter we start the real story. Only took 5 chapters to get there, counting the prologue. Hope you guys liked the Meteor City Arc! IT WAS A LOT

Also, Ivela's violin is based (obviously) off of Stradivarius Violins. Her's in particular would be this world's equivalent of the Messiah Stradivarius. That's right guys the Troupe went all out.

They said "If we're stealing Ivela a violin, it's gonna be a VIOLIN."

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#Ivela Zoldyck #Chrollo x Reader #The Virtuoso #Hunter x Hunter #Chrollo x OC #Chrollo Lucilfer x OC #Chrollo Lucilfer

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blackscarabfilmz · 3 years

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You Never Know What Someone Is Going Through by Michael Gleason

Another story based on a prompt, this time it was:

Write about a character who can suddenly see through another person's eyes — literally.

It's a well-known adage that “You never know what someone is going through”, usually used to encourage people to be kind to everyone. It's not a bad cliché, but it's not completely accurate either, as I can attest to. I'm not always the nicest person, and I admit that freely and openly, but I've taken strides to become nicer, although not for a totally altruistic reason.

You see, I've been afflicted with a strange curse, after a stressful interaction with an old woman whose slow walking was making it so that I missed out on getting the closest parking spot to my office that I'd seen in weeks, in which I used some choice words that I slightly regret.

“Get out of the way, you old crone! If you can't make it across the street, you should be in a home!” I'd shouted from behind the wheel of my BMW as I tried to swerve around her.

She just glared at me and seemed to mumble a few words, but I didn't stick around long enough to really notice, nor did I care. Afterward, I found that I'd gained the ability to literally see through another person's eyes.

I first noticed it right after arriving at the office that day, after getting a spot in a lot two blocks away, and I noticed that my secretary, Janice, was late for work – again. This was the fourth time that week and probably the fifteenth time this month, and I was pretty annoyed with her.

“If she wants that raise she asked for, she'd better start showing up to work on time. What else could be more important?” I thought to myself as I unlocked the door to my office.

Almost immediately, I was hit with the strangest sense of whiplash, because when I walked through the door, I wasn't in my familiar office, I was in somebody's bedroom.

“What the hell?” I turned around, but saw only a hallway behind me, and not Janice's desk.

The room looked fairly normal, and as I looked down at my hand for my briefcase, I instead saw something disturbing. It wasn't my hand! My hand was usually large and hairy, this was small and dainty, with painted nails.

“Nail polish? But...” I inspected the hand closely and realized I recognized the bright red color.

I rushed across the room, nearly tripping and falling as I also realized I was wearing heels, towards a vanity and looked into the mirror. Gazing at my reflection, my fears were realized and I was staring back at Janice's face. Thankfully, she was fully dressed and seemed to be getting ready for work. My eyes dropped slowly towards my, or rather Janice's chest, and I hesitantly reached a hand towards her blouse.

But I was taken out of my shock as I heard a baby's scream and the bedroom door suddenly flew open, revealing a haggard-looking man with a disheveled beard carrying a screaming child, who couldn't have been more than two. That was right! Janice had been pregnant when we hired her, and she'd had the baby not too long afterward. She came back to work pretty quickly after her maternity leave so I never really thought about her home life after that, her performance in the office was all that matters to me.

Janice's husband definitely didn't look like he was getting ready for work, so that explained why she was bucking for that raise. I made enough money for my wife to be a stay-at-home mom by choice, but my kids are almost fully grown, a daughter in college and a son in high school, so my wife's day can't be nearly as stressful as Janice's husband's.

“He's crying again! What am I supposed to do to get him to calm down, again?” Janice's husband asked as he held the baby out to me.

“I... Uh,” I stuttered, I didn't know the first thing about calming down a baby, that was my wife's department, I hesitated to reach for it. Not to mention hearing Janice's voice coming out of my mouth was off-putting, to say the least.

Suddenly, a dog rushed into the room, one of those small yappy ones, and started barking. The noises were incessant, the baby's crying, Janice's husband's whining, and the dog barking, it was driving me crazy. I clutched my hair with both hands, closed my eyes, and took a deep breath, before shouting from the top of my lungs:

“PLEASE, EVERYONE JUST SHUT THE HELL UP!” I shouted, in my own voice, and noticed that everything went silent.

I opened my eyes to see my office in front of me, and murmurs started up from the other members of the office staff behind me. I quickly rushed into my office and shut the door behind me, slumping down in my chair as I tried to rationalize what had just happened to me. I felt so real, but it had to have been a hallucination, right?

I quickly sat down at my desk and tried to clear my head, but my mind kept playing back what I'd experienced. I started working on what I'd needed to get done that day, looking over expense reports, and before long, I heard a gentle knock on my door.

“Come in!” I shouted, looking up to see Janice sheepishly walking into my office. “Glad to see you've decided to grace us with your presence.”

I noticed that she was wearing the exact outfit that I'd seen in the hallucination, but that had to be a coincidence, right? She'd probably worn that exact outfit dozens of times, and that's why my subconscious chose it. I think that's how dreams work, anyway.

“I'm sorry, sir. I really tried to get here on time, but my husband was having trouble with the baby, he was being very fussy today, and things have been really tough juggling that, especially with me working,” Janice explained.

I remained stone-faced, but that was more because her explanation directly mirrored the experience I'd had. But she took my silence as a challenge, to her, I was silent because I was dissatisfied with her punctuality.

“I know that it isn't any of your concern, but if I got that raise I asked for, I could afford to hire a nanny and that would take some of the burdens of childcare off of my husband and me, and I would be able to focus all my attention on my work here.” Janice declared. “It's not greed, and I really do love my job, but I can't be everywhere at once, and it seems like the universe needs me to be.”

After what I'd seen, I believed her, but I couldn't buckle to it immediately. I had a reputation to uphold, besides, a change of heart that drastic might cause people to question things and I don't want anyone to know I'd been in Janice's head.

“I'll consider it,” I said, flatly. “Now, get to work.”

“Yes, sir.” Janice turned on her heel in a way that shocked me, given I'd nearly killed myself simply walking in them, and walked out of my office, closing the door on her way out.

The rest of the morning passed without incident, and I thought that the entire experience was a one-time thing. By lunch, I'd figured out that it was probably tied into that old woman in the crosswalk, but assumed that I'd learned my lesson with Janice, and everything would be normal from then on out. And then later that afternoon, my phone rang, a call from my wife, Diane.

“Hey, honey! What's up?” I asked. “Is something wrong?”

“You bet there's something wrong, Clark! I got Nathan's report card in the mail today!” Diane replied.

“Oh, Christ...” I muttered. “How bad is it this time?”

“Nothing above a C- and most of it is D's and there's an F this time.”

I took a deep sigh and put my face in my hands.

“We are going to have a very long discussion about this when I get home. Is he home yet?”

“Not yet, he's at after-school tutoring, for all the good it's done...” Diane said.

“Make sure he knows he's grounded and won't be playing video games or watching T.V. until we figure out what to do about this,” I grumbled.

“Got it. See you when you get home,” Diane said. “Love you.”

“Love you too,” I said, ending the call. “What the hell am I going to do with that boy? Can't he just apply himself?”

As I turned my attention back to my desk, I again found myself in another location entirely. Although this time I recognized the room, I'd been in there enough times for parent-teacher conferences to know that this was Nathan's math classroom. I looked down at the desk and could vaguely make out a reflection, one that I recognized as my son's face.

“Not again...” I whined, in Nathan's voice.

“What was that, Mr. Wilson?” I looked up to see Nathan's math teacher, Mrs. Snodgrass, standing over me.

She was an austere woman, a very old and traditional teacher, reminded me of some of the teachers I'd hated when I was in school, but as a parent, I liked her style. It kept the kids in line. Of course, I liked that personality a lot less more when it was directed at me.

“Nothing, ma'am.” I looked back down at the desk and spotted a math worksheet sitting on it, half-filled in.

“Have you finished the assignment yet?” she asked.

“Not yet, I'm working on it.” I picked up a pencil and started to work on the problem.

Math was my best subject back in school, but the way they were teaching it now was... strange. I didn't understand what it wanted me to do! I did my best and finished the sheet, handing it to Mrs. Snodgrass. I was alone in the room, save for her, which made sense given that tutoring is usually only for those who are truly struggling.

I stood near the desk, waiting as she looked over the sheet. My face fell when she signed and rubbed her forehead with her wrinkled hand.

“Mr. Wilson, did you pay attention at all to today's lesson?” she asked.

“Well, I...” I started to reply. I didn't actually know if Nathan paid attention.

“I don't know what else I can do. I think we're kidding ourselves with the tutoring, it's clearly not doing anything, and I've exhausted all my methods. I'll discuss that with your parents at the next conference, but as for now, you may go.” Mrs. Snodgrass said.

She was giving up on my son like that? If he's not understanding the material, the teacher should be making damn sure she tries everything! Usually, I had the confidence and bravado to stand up to teachers like this, but in Nathan's body, my confidence evaporated, so all I managed to squeak out was a thank you, and I quickly collected his bag and headed home.

Already this experience had lasted longer than my time in Janice's body, and I was eagerly awaiting it to end. I figured it might end when I got to the front door, but it didn't. I walked into the house and found Diane standing, arms crossed, in the foyer. I knew why she was angry, and I averted my gaze.

“Your report card came in the mail today,” Diane said. “Do you have anything to say for yourself?”

“I know it looks bad, but...” I started. I wanted to tell her what I'd witnessed from the teacher, but she wouldn't let me speak.

“Wait for your father, he's on his way home now.” she pointed towards the living room.

I took Nathan's backpack off and sat on the couch, waiting for a few minutes until I heard my car pull into the driveway. I sat up, partly wondering if perhaps Nathan was in my body since I was occupying his, but one look at my face as I walked through the door, and I knew that it wasn't the case.

It's strange to see yourself from the outside, I don't think of myself as threatening, but clearly, Nathan did. His heart began racing as I took off my suit jacket and hung it up by the door. The other me, the me in my own body... “Clark”, he walked into the living room after greeting Diane and taking the report card. “Clark” sat down in my favorite chair, and Diane took her customary flank position next to me.

“What the hell are we going to do with you? Do you enjoy failing?” “Clark" asked. “I mean, look at this! Do you think you can get into a good college with grades like these?”

I couldn't believe it, would I really say something like that? Have I lost sight of empathizing with my son? Diane just stood by “Clark” and nodded along with what he said.

“The lessons are really hard, especially math!” I defended Nathan.

“If the lessons are hard, you've got to buckle down and study your butt off! I struggled in school too, you know what I did? I worked hard to not struggle! This is important, it's your future! Why can't you be more like your sister? She never had less than a B!” “Clark” shouted.

I was utterly speechless, not just because “Clark” wouldn't let me get a word in edgewise, but also because I could feel just how powerless Nathan felt, with his father, the person who's supposed to be on his side, chewing him out mercilessly. If this really was how I'd been treating him about his grades... that had to change.

“And don't even think you'll be seeing the outside of your room or a classroom until your grades improve. Now go to your room and hit the books!” “Clark” finished.

I felt tears welling up in my eyes and I stood up and ran towards Nathan's room. As I slammed the door, I felt myself crash back down to Earth as I rocked slightly in my chair. Diane put her hand on my shoulder.

“Are you okay, Clark?” she asked, concern in her voice.

“Yeah, I'm fine...” I replied.

“Are you sure you weren't too hard on him? I know his grades are bad, but...” Diane started.

“Yeah, I was a little too hard on him...” I sighed. “I'll handle it.”

I stood up and walked up the stairs, waiting outside Nathan's room. After a few minutes, I knocked on the door.

“Go away!” Nathan shouted.

“Nathan, I've... had some time to think, and I'm sorry. I just... I want you to succeed, but if you're struggling, I need to take the time to help you figure out the problem, not yell at you until it goes away.” I heard the door unlock.

I reached forward and opened the door, Nathan was sitting on his bed, wiping tears from his face.

“I guess I'm just stupid...” Nathan muttered.

“You're not stupid, we just have to figure out how you learn the best. If this tutoring isn't working, maybe we try something different. Say, I was pretty good at math when I was your age, maybe after dinner, I can look over your homework with you. You'll just have to teach me whatever this “new” math they're teaching you is,” I chuckled, and Nathan laughed as well.

“I'd like that, Dad.” Nathan said.

It was a strange experience to be sure, but it taught me something, that I had to be more empathetic and kinder to those around me, particularly when it comes to things outside of their control.

In the weeks following, I've made a lot of strides into being more understanding. With Janice, my other employees, my kids, and even my wife. Seeing things through her eyes is an experience that I've gone to a lot of trouble to avoid. But the curse hasn't gone away, either, because sometimes I'll find myself running out of patience with a cashier or a barista and suddenly I'm seeing things from their perspective. I guess the moral of this story is, “Be kind. Because you never know what someone is going through”.

And trust me, you really don't want to find out.

#story #fiction #writing #short story #my writing

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spideyscnse · 4 years

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hey, i saw u were taking requests and i really love your writing!! could u possibly do something where reader is a nerd and she works at a bookstore and peter comes in?? idk where to go from there but i’d like it to be super fluffy and cute if u like :))) thank u so much x

a/n: hi! aw, i’m so flattered that you love my writing! i’m so so sorry for taking so long, but i was so excited by this idea when i saw it because it’s so cute! to make up for it i wrote 3k words and made it extra cute :) hope you enjoy

sci-fi

pairing: peter parker x booknerd!reader

word count: 3k

warnings: none :) just super cute fluff and pureness

summary: y/n is so much of a book lover that the moment she hit fifteen, she applied for a job at her favourite, local bookstore. one day, a boy called peter parker shows up at the store.

note: please don’t plagiarise my work!

masterlist

You had your earbuds in as you left the school through the back gate—the gate that would take the least amount of time to get to the bookstore. You had work today, and it was why Tuesdays and Thursdays were your favourite days of the week.

Your school was a small one, almost adjacent to the prestigious Midtown High, where all of the smart kids went. You went to a girl’s private school opposite to it, and while you liked her school well enough, you sometimes wished that you’d applied to Midtown instead. Just because it seemed so much bigger and fun. Maybe it was just you, though.

The store was a fifteen-minute walk away, and you managed to get through four songs on your way there.

Pulling out your earbuds and switching off your music, you pushed the door open with a soft tinkle and made your way into the store. The relaxing smell of worn pages and coffee greeted you instantly, and just at the scent, you felt yourself calm, because it was such a homely feeling for you.This was where you were when you weren’t at school or at home, and it had been your place to go since you were very little.

“Good afternoon, Jane,” You called out to the manager, who sat at the checkout desk, and the kind lady gave you a warm smile, like she did every time she saw you.

“Hey, Y/N,” She responded, glancing up from the tablet she was scrolling through, no doubt checking through book orders, “You got here quickly, today.”

You chuckled, “Oh, yeah, I saw on Instagram that the next book in my favourite series got released yesterday and I rushed here as soon as I could.”

“Alright,” Jane said with an amused, affectionate look in her eyes, “Well, go get changed into your uniform and then you can go find that book you want.”

Eagerly, you nodded and headed to the back room to drop off your bag and change out of your school’s uniform—a white blouse and dark green skirt. The school logo was embroidered over the chest pocket of the shirt, and a silver and green tie hung from around your neck, tucked neatly under the collar.

Quickly, you pulled out your work clothes, which were far more comfortable—Jane was pretty loose on the dress code, so long as you wore the lanyard and name badge. So, today you’d opted to bring a grey sweatshirt and leggings, which would be cosy enough for you to walk between the shelves and look for people who needed help—also, for you to find that book you needed.Once you’d folded up your school uniform and slipped it neatly into your bag, you stepped out into the store again, greeted by the smell again, that you’d never get tired of.You headed to the YA aisle, the one where you knew your book would be, and you spotted it immediately—it was sitting gloriously on the new releases table, and you quickly snatched up a copy, flipping through it and letting out a satisfied sigh. You resisted the urge to just start reading it then and there, reminding yourself that you were at work and there were customers all around you. So, instead you slipped it into the front pocket of your sweatshirt, making a mental note to pay for it when you left.

Despite your efforts to focus, though, the thoughts of that one book remained swirling in your mind. This made it very difficult to maintain a calm tone of voice when people asked you for help finding things, just because on the inside, you were far too excited.

But you still went about your job like you always would—calmly, kindly, and patiently. Even with the people who complained to you about the prices, or tried to haggle you for a deal, no doubt thinking you’d give it to them, since you were young and looked it, too.

You were sorting through a massive stack of books that had arrived the day before, unboxing each, marking them down and then ordering them alphabetically on the new shelves, when somebody tapped you on the shoulder and made you jump…probably more dramatically than you needed to.

You dropped the two books that were in your hands at the time, and yelped, “I’m sorry! What did you need—?”

Your sentence was cut off as you caught sight of the boy’s face, and the words evaporated from your tongue. He had curly, chocolate-brown hair and warm, wide eyes that were currently filled with concern and shock…at your surprise, probably.

But he was extraordinarily pretty, and you found yourself looking away, leaning down to pick up the books you’d dropped. You cleared your throat, “I’m sorry, what did you need help with?”

“Uhh,” He seemed to be almost at a lost for words as he glanced at you, suddenly nervous, “I was looking for some books for my science project? I wasn’t sure where I should start…”

You smiled, and he blushed, and you gestured for him to follow you. It was rare that a high school kid came in looking for books about science—didn’t most people just find things online nowadays for school assignments?—nevertheless, you decided this boy was far too precious to just refer him to online.Especially not when this bookstore had such a great range of science books; while you loved your fiction, the science was your second favourite.

As you approached the wall, even the boy seemed to be kind of in a sense of awe. You began to talk, hiding your amusement at his amazement. “This is the science wall! It’s my second favourite section, and it’s got basically everything.” You pointed to the said areas as you explained, “They’re organised by subtopics, so you’ve got bio here, and then physics, chem, and so on.”

“What would you recommend for a physics assignment?”

You gave him a curious look, “Well, the ones with the green spines are really detailed,” you started, even though you weren’t quite sure exactly what he was looking for. “If you’re into more basic stuff, the ones on the very left of the shelf, and the more complex stuff is to the right.”

He was quiet for a long moment after you finished. You weren’t sure if he was soaking up the information or just blanked out. Regardless, it left you standing there half-smiling, basking in the awkwardness.It was almost twenty seconds later that the boy seemed to remember that you were waiting for his response, and he immediately flushed, “I’m so sorry, thanks for taking me here—um, sorry, I didn’t get your name…”

“It’s Y/N,” You responded, pointing at the name tag that was pinned onto your lanyard, “And yours?”

“Peter,” He responded shyly, running a hand nervously through his curls, “What school do you go to? I don’t think I’ve seen you around on campus.”

“I go to Y/S/N,” You explained, sheepish, even though you weren’t sure why you were so nervous, and why your palms were sweating, “It’s a girls’ private school, which is probably why you don’t see me at school.” You laughed off your nerves, even though you felt heat begin to crawl through your cheeks.

Peter seemed to deflate a bit, the smile fading from his eyes, “Well, then, I won’t be able to see you. I was hoping you went to my school…”

“Guess you’ll have to come ‘round to the bookstore more often, then,” You said teasingly, “To get your books for your smart-kid assignments. Assessments are mostly over now anyway—except for at Midtown, I hear. Is that where you go?”

He nodded in answer, giving a small smile, even as his eyes turned and became glued to the books on the shelves. He scanned through the titles and asked absently, “What gave it away?”

“You’re looking for science books, Peter,” You said with a small giggle, “Isn’t Midtown a STEM school? I just assumed.”

“Y/N!” Jane called from the front of the shop, and you immediately perked up, your conversation interrupted.Peter sighed, even though he diligently kept the kind smile on his lips, “Well, I guess duty calls, huh?”

You nodded, pressing your lips into a taut smile, a bit disappointed as well, that you had to go now. “I’ll see you around, yeah?”

“You bet you will,” He said, giving a grin, “I’ll be sure to come whenever I can to get your expertise on science-y books for my smart-kid assignments.”

You almost choked on a laugh as you tried to swallow it, “Good luck with your assessment! And the science books!”

***

Peter kept true to his word.

That boy seemed to make it his mission to show up every day, and talk to you all about your recommendations and his science assignments. Not that you minded—it was kind of cute, what with how enthusiastic he got when he was rambling.

Today, though, Peter was late. School ended two hours ago, and still. No sign of him. Usually he would’ve been here almost at the same time as you, since he’d taken to doing all of his homework in the shop.

Despite how hard you tried to not let it distract you, you really couldn’t help the glances you kept throwing over your shoulder at the door, to check for any sign of him. To be honest, you weren’t quite sure why you anticipated his arrival so much, seeing as he probably had his own work to do, but still…You did your job fine; you made sure to put all of the new arrivals in alphabetical order and unbox all of the stock for the week, but even Jane noticed that you weren’t as focused as usual. And from the knowing gleam in her eyes, she knew exactly why you looked so much more worried and tense than usual.

“Y/N, are you waiting for that brown-haired boy?” She called out, her chin leaning on her palm and looking quite amused.

You fumbled with the stack of books you were holding and said, suddenly flustered, “No, no I’m not,” You denied, even though your words were broken by a nervous stutter.Internally, you swore in frustration at yourself because why were you suddenly so nervous? Jane hadn’t even said anything, really, but—

“Then why do you keep looking out the window? I know that the boy comes every time that you’re here. We all fall in love at some point,” Jane said, her tone turning into a teasing one.

Fall in love?

“Oh, I’m not in love with him—I’m just—I just,” You stammered feebly, “I just like looking at the window display.”

Jane hummed, finally turning her gaze away to return to clicking away at her computer, probably filing in orders. “Sure thing.” Even though her stare had shifted from you, her knowing smile hadn’t faded and you bit your lip in embarrassment before returning to sorting the books.

You weren’t in love with Peter, you barely even knew him! It wasn’t like that—

“Sorry I’m late!”

And yet at the first sound of his voice you stopped everything that you were doing and spun around so fast your hair gave you whiplash.

“Y/N!” He called, his hair mussed by the wind, eyes wide. He was holding his bag, seeming to still be stuffing something into the back pocket of it, and he seemed extremely puffed.

“Peter,” You said, furrowing your brows, “You didn’t have to rush. If you were busy you could’ve just sent me a text.”

As if by instinct he reached into his back pocket for his phone as you mentioned texting, and he pulled it out as he responded, “I’m sorry, something came up that I had to take care of. It’s all good now, though! What new books arrived this week?”

Even though internally, you were still concerned for his well-being, since he looked so genuinely out-of-breath, but the fact that he’d rushed over to talk to you today was kind of…touching. Cute.

You brushed those thoughts away, though, effectively stopping the blush you felt beginning to form on the apples of your cheeks, “We got lots of fiction this week, actually. There’s some sci-fi I think you would like. Is your assignment finished now?”

Peter rubbed his neck almost shyly, “Oh, yeah, it was due today, actually. Thanks for all your help, I think I did better than usual.”

“It’s nothing,” You replied, giving him a smile, quickly turning to finish sorting out the last couple books, and then leading him to the fiction section. He eagerly followed.

“Do you read fiction much?” You decided to ask him, breaking the silence that had settled between the two of you.

“Sometimes,” He said, “I get pretty busy, though, so I don’t usually have a lot of time to read. I wish I did.”

You approached the fiction shelves and ran your hand over the spines, searching for the new arrivals you wanted to recommend to him, “Here,” You pulled the first out, then the second.

“These are really good, I read them yesterday,” You told him, passing the two to him, and he flipped through them curiously, “They’re about the stuff you’re into. Like, science-y, smart superhero, space-battle type stuff.”

His eyes lit up as he scanned through, murmuring absently, “I love that stuff! I can kinda relate to them.”

That piqued your curiosity, and you couldn’t stop yourself from asking, “What do you mean?”“Huh?”“What do you mean you can relate?”

Suddenly, Peter bit his lip and ran a hand nervously through his hair, “Oh, what, I said that? Uh, I just mean I relate to the struggles of the superheroes, you know? It’s kind of…inspirational.”

You considered his words, “You’re right. We do have a lot of superheroes around here, don’t we?” You chuckled a bit to yourself, averting your eyes because his gaze had become far too intense and focused for you to maintain the eye-contact whilst keeping your heart rate at a healthy pace.

“What do you think of them?” He asked, tucking the two books under his arm, seeming satisfied with your selection, “The superheroes, I mean.”

“They’re cool,” You said with a shrug, “They do cool things and they’re important. I kind of wanna be one,” You laughed lightly, “They actually make a difference, you know? I kind of just hang around here and just…” You trailed off, unsure of where you were going, but Peter seemed to understand.

Your eyes were fixated on your feet now, and you shifted on your feet when he didn’t say anything.Then, suddenly, he poked your cheek gently, making you look up at him, and then he said, “You don’t need to be a superhero to make a difference, Y/N.” He leaned in a bit closer and tilted your chin up with two fingers.

Oh gosh oh he was so close now you could see every shade in his eyes—

You hoped he couldn’t hear your heartbeat, but you swore you noted his ears tinge with pink ever so slightly as well when he whispered, “You’re pretty amazing already, I can tell you that.”

“I—Peter, I—,”

“Right,” Suddenly extremely shy, he quickly pulled away. Okay, his face was definitely burning bright red now, you were sure of it, “Sorry about that, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable—,”

“Peter,” You said softly, taking his hand gently in yours, “I wasn’t uncomfortable, I just…” You shook your head, “Never mind. But, thank you, Peter.”

“It’s just the truth,” He said, meeting your eyes with his own.

You weren’t sure what exactly gave you the confidence to do it, but with a light laugh you leant up on your toes and pressed a kiss to his cheek, “Thank you. You’re pretty amazing too, Peter.”He seemed to be at a loss for words. His cheeks were bright pink and his mouth opened and closed as he searched for the right thing to say. He looked so pretty.

“I-uh,” You bit your lip nervously—shyly, “Are you gonna get the books?”

That shook him out of his trance and he stammered, “Oh, yeah, I will, sorry—,”

“It’s okay,” You laughed, too giddy with the butterflies in your stomach to be nervous about what you’d just done anymore.

After he checked out, you said, “Call me and tell me what you think about those books, okay?”He left with a nod and a beaming smile, and Jane gave you that knowing look again.

“You just like looking at the window display, huh?” She said after the door shut behind him.You half-groaned, half-laughed as you shook your head and began heading back into the depths of the store to keep sorting the stock.

But you couldn’t help the grin of pure joy that formed on your lips the moment you were out of plain sight.

***

Tony didn’t usually pick Peter up, but today he’d been near the store anyway, so he offered to take him to the tower.The moment he got on the car, though, Tony noted his love-struck, dazed expression and said, “So, who’s the lucky person who’s snagged Peter Parker’s eye, huh?”He started up the car, which luckily pulled his gaze away from Peter, because the boy blushed furiously at Tony’s words.

“Uh, Mr. Stark, it’s nothing,” He said, shaking his head, “I just got some books that I like, that’s all—,” he pulled the two books he’d bought out of his bag, and Tony glanced at them.

“Since when did you read fiction?Peter fumbled for an excuse, “Uh, since today?”Tony scoffed in amusement, teasingly saying, “Must be some good books to have you looking so in love.”

Peter didn’t have any reply, or excuse, to respond with because he was really, really bad at lying and he knew that Tony already knew, anyway.“Yeah, they’re pretty amazing books,” He said instead.

Tony didn’t push any further, because it was just too cute.

He smiled fondly.

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ad1thi · 4 years

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May I ask for 35 with Ironhusbands? Bc that one would really fit into the MIT era. If you feel like it. Thank you :)

#35: one of them trying to get the other one off of drugs au // from this list // part of rajput tony stark AU. please be mindful of this prompt when reading this fic; because it is about substance abuse. this got a bit longer than i was expecting so please watch out for the read more (hopefully tumblr doesn’t snipe me and fuck it up)

It starts off small. Toni goes from having every single aspect of her life monitored to abject freedom overnight; and it gets to her head. She sneaks Rhodey into a couple of frat parties and gets drunk, swaying to the music while clasping a plastic red cup in between her fingers and she finds that she likes it; she likes the way her entire body relaxes; how the alcohol burning down her throat seems to reach the knot in her stomach and loosen it somehow.

She likes the way she gets bolder, stronger, more willing to take risks. She likes the way it makes her figure undulate, how blurry faces pull her in and when they kiss - she can taste the vodka on the tip of their tongue. She likes drinking, she likes who she is when she's drinking - and so she drinks some more.

It sort of grows from there. It stops being a couple nights a week and starts becoming every night of the week - and it is a familiar occurrence for Toni to bang down Rhodey’s door at ungodly hours of the night. The third time it happens, Rhodey’s roommate applies for a transfer of dorms and Toni all but moves into the vacant bed.

Their friendship is still new, frightfully new - but Rhodey knows without having to even ask that if he pushes the issue, that Toni will shrink away from him and ice him out. So he doesn’t say anything, and instead works on ways to keep her safe. At least this way she has somebody to turn to if it all goes to shit.

He goes to every party that she’s invited to, makes sure to take a (discreet) photo of every man and woman that she leaves with, and starts including the cafe across the street in his morning routines. Rhodey can’t remember the last time he touched a drop of alcohol; and he thinks from the overwhelming stench that he gets during the few times that Toni stumbles back to their room with him instead of her flavour for the night - that he probably never will touch alcohol again.

It isn’t just Rhodey’s attendance that takes a massive hit though; Toni is barely hanging onto her place at the university with the amount of 8ams that she’s missed - and its a meeting at the Dean’s Office that really wakes up her. She comes back into their dorm room with a frosty expression, picks up the various bottles scattered across the room and up-ends them into the communal toilet.

Rhodey doesn’t say anything, just helps her collect it all and throw it away without their RA seeing; but from the way that she hugs him fiercely once they return to the room - he knows that she knows. There’s nights she can’t sleep, nights where she drives herself crazy, nights when she begs Rhodey to just give her a sip - and its during one of those nights that Rhodey suggests she gets a job; something to keep her occupied so that she isn’t thinking about frat parties.

And so she does. She gets herself the graveyard shift at the campus mess and its good for a while; but then Toni meets Tiberius Stone; and that’s when everything goes to shit.

It’s been close to six months since Rhodey has seen Toni outside of the classes that they share together; and even that had been reduced to scant gazes and small smiles before Tiberius pulls her away to sit somewhere else.

He misses her something fierce, but he isn’t allowed to complain about her absence, not when he was the one who drove her away. Not when he came back to their room to find her sniffing a thin white line off the edge of her desk; and he’d kicked her out instead of getting her helped.

He’d walked in and saw her look up with wide eyes, powder peppered around the outline of her nostrils and suddenly he was 10 years old again; looking at the still figure of his father with a needle protruding from his arm and it’d been too much for Rhodey, he’d reacted too quickly without thinking it through - and he has only himself to blame.

In his darker moments, he listens to the tiny voice in his head that reminds him that Toni knew what happened to his father, she knew how he felt about drugs but she bought a packet anyway but most of the time he’s mature enough to admit that she’s an addict; that this isn’t something that she can control.

No matter how he thinks of it though, the end result is the same: it’s been six months since Rhodey has managed to see his bestfriend. None of this explains why there’s someone banging on his door at 3am; and why when he opens the door - he finds Toni slumped against it.

“Toni?” Rhodey reacts instantly, fallings to his knees so that his thigh pillow her head when she falls, “what happened?”

“Mujhe maaf karado,” Toni’s slurring her speech, but she looks up from wet lashes and cups his cheeks, “mujhe maaf karado“

Rhodey opens his mouth to reply, to ask her what she’s saying; but she slumps against him before he manages to get a word edgewise. With a sigh, he gingerly wraps his hands under her knees and lifts her - stumbling a couple of times before he manages to get on his feet and carry her to his bed. He doesn’t have the strength to carry her to the spare bed; so he just pulls Toni to his chest and falls onto his bed. The last coherent thought he has before he falls asleep is how right it feels to have Toni sleep next to him again.

He wakes up in the morning to find Toni perched at the edge of the bed; with a fearful expression on her face. He blinks a couple of times to clear his vision, fumbling around for his water-bottle so that he can give it to her.

“Here you are Tones,” he says, voice with heavy with sleep, “you need some water after last night”. Toni takes the bottle that he’s offering and brings it to her lips to take a couple sips; but the tension in her shoulders hasn’t reduced at all.

Rhodey can’t stand it, can’t stand the idea the idea that she might be scared of him, which is why he pushes himself to a siting position, reaches out so that he can intertwine their fingers. Toni looks up at him with wide eyes, but doesn’t make any moves to take her hand back - so he thinks that its progress.

“Hey,” he says softly, cocking his head and smiling at her, “hey you’re okay. We’re okay sweetheart, I promise,” he brings up her palm to press to press a shaky kiss to it - and thats all it says; Toni flings herself into his arms and starts crying into his shoulder; brokenly apologising over and over while he runs a hand down her back and soothes her.

Toni’s heart feels like her heart is jack-hammering against her ribs; and she wants to reach out and press her palm against it - to force it back into her chest and make it stay there. Instead, she looks over to Rhodey, who presses a kiss to her shoulder and sends a reassuring smile her way. She takes a deep breath, trying to gather up her courage; and then addresses the people sitting around her at large, “Hi. I’m Toni Stark, and I’m an addict.”

tbc

#my writing #rhodeytony #ironhusbands #james rhodes x tony stark #rhodey x tony #rajput tony stark au #rule 63 #fem! tony stark #female tony stark #mentions of drug abuse #its actually rly common for desi kids to go off the rails when they leave for university because we're suddenly in control of everything #and it gets to our heads #so this felt like the perfect AU to use this prompt for #im sorry this took so long i hope i did it justice!!#i personally don't drink and have never used drugs so hopefully i didn't misrepresent anything #i know there isn't much about her actual recovery in this post and im sorry #but ive never had to recover from something like this #nor do i know anyone who has #and so i didn't want to make it seem like something that it isn't #i hope you like it anyway tho!!#justsomeoneunordinary #adi answers asks

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plutosychic · 5 years

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PAID READINGS LIST

Important information to take into consideration before purchasing:

I usually deliver my readings up until two weeks, depending on my energy. I will let you know how I feel when you buy the reading and give you an estimated time of when you will receive it. If, for some reason, I’m not able to give you your reading on the day/week I told you, I will try to let you know as soon as possible.

I usually deliver the readings through email, tumblr private messages, pdf or voice record. It depends on the reading you purchase and on what will be easier and more practical for me to do.

I will ask you after your reading for you to leave me feedback/review on my tumblr inbox or make a post on your blog about it.

You can check some of my reviews on here. If you are on mobile, the link might not work, so just type “reading reviews” on my blog search engine.

Please, only send me the money after I accept doing your reading as refunding makes me lose money in transaction fees.

There are no refunds after getting your reading done, regardless of you liking it or not. The only time I refund is when I am not able to do your reading due to something and upon mutual agreement. If I am already in the process of doing your reading and you try to cancel it, you won’t get a refund. I demand payment first.

Payment is only accepted through paypal. The price is in euros, however paypal lets you convert your money while paying.

Some of these readings listed below will be done through tarot, pendulum, intuition, channeling or channeling through astral projection. I usually connect with your higher self, but, in some cases, I connect with your spiritual guides. If you have any preference over the deity you want me to. I only refuse to connect with lower entities such as demons and with fairies (nothing against them or people who work with them). I accept any deity from any pantheon, however the ones I easily connect to are the greek, the nordic and the egyptian ones. If, for some reason, I am not able connect with a certain guide or deity, I will let you know.

In order to connect with your energy, I will need:

Name or initials

Zodiac sign (if you could give me your moon, rising and dominant signs too, that would be great and preferred)

Any other information you want

Backstory can be helpful as it gives context to what I’m feeling, but it is not needed at all.

Keep in mind that this is for entertainment purposes and can be served as a tool for self-awareness and self-understanding. Therefore, I do not take responsibility for any inaccuracity or any decision made based on the readings.

Sometimes the energy is shifted or too complex, so try to apply my interpretations as much as possible into your situation. Readings are based on current energies, you can alter the course of action with a simple thought if you do not like the reading. The outcome can be changed by you.

If you cannot purchase my readings, I would still be thankful if you could, at least, support me by reblogging this post.

CUSTOM READINGS

these are the reading options you should choose if none of the ones below match any of your questions.

Yes/No Question #1: 1€

Simple yes/no question using a pendulum.

Yes/No Question #2: 2.50€

This is for yes/no questions using tarot cards. You will always get a bit more of information than a simple yes/no answer.

Yes/No Packages:

5 yes/no pendulum questions: 3€ (save 2€)

5 yes/no tarot card questions: 7.50€ (save 5€)

10 yes/no pendulum questions: 7€ (save 3€)

10 yes/no tarot card questions: 15€ (save 10€)

Important to note: maybe’s and likely’s can still pop out in both of these options. In thoses cases, I will explain what I feel that likely/maybe/unlikely answer means for free.

Option Readings: TBD (contact me)

Questions for the tarot cards that involve options might be more expensive than the yes/no ones depending on the topic and on how many options there is. For pendulum readings, the price is stays 1€, unless there are more than two options. Three options with a pendulum would be 2€.

how/why questions: 5€

this can be used for things like “how does my future like house look like”, for example, or “why is X ignoring me”.

when questions: 1.50€

the “one, two, three cards” options below are for general messages/advice only. Basically a “what you need to hear right now type of thing. Even with only one card, it will be detailed.

One Card: 3€

Two Cards: 5€

Three Cards: 7€

Four Cards: 10€

Five Cards: 12.50€

Clair Reading: 5€

I will tell you what I see (this could range from advice to future prediction or the current situation) based on the sensations/sounds/visions/information I get. Many times this is a bit abstract, so take your time to decipher the reading.

Past/Present/Future: 5€

Name Game: 2.50€ (OPEN)

Not really a psychic reading, but my intuition always pops out. It is more of an entertainment/fun thing to get. You basically send me your name and I will tell you what your name reminds me of/makes me see/feel.

LOVE READINGS

Many of these readings work for any type of love: familiar, romantic, sexual, platonic, etc.

Current Relationship: 30€ (CLOSED)

This will be a reading on your current relationship. It will help you understand the energies surrounding it, what might be coming into the future, how they feel for you, advice and any other type of information that I might get. This reading is extremely detailed and in depth. This can also be used to answer any specific question you might have,

Love Advice: 15€

This will give you advice on your love life and on how to improve it, heal it. This is extremely detailed and is really good if you are looking for me to channel a specific deity.

Ex Back: 15€

This will help you finding out in detail if you and our ex will come back, if the relationship has salvation, what might have caused this, the energy around it and whether or not it is better for you to move on.

Love Future: 25€

This is an extremely detailed future prediction on your love life that also comes with advice on what to do and how to improve this outcome.

Relationship Improvement: 15€

This is an extremely detailed reading on how you should and could improve your relationship. It helps you understand your partner better, their desires, needs and what they do not want to tell you.

Love Blocks: 15€

This will help you localize your blockages in life, such as what is keeping you way from finding your next partner, what might be ruining your relationship, between many others. This is great for self and relationship healing, as well as shadow work.

Future Partner: 30€

This is a long detailed reading on your future partner’s personality, hobbies, jobs, on the relationship between you two and on their physical appearance. I will also try to get their sun, moon and rising signs and possibly initials. Any additional zodiac placements and questions (such as race, for example) will each add a value of 1.50€ to the reading.

Future Husband/Wife: 30€

This is a long detailed reading on your future husband’s/wife personality, hobbies, jobs, on the relationship between you two and on their physical appearance. I will also try to get their sun, moon and rising signs and possibly initials. Any additional zodiac placements and questions (such as race, for example) will each add a value of 1.50€ to the reading.

My Soulmate: 30€

This is a long detailed reading on one of your soulmate’s, hobbies, jobs, on the relationship between you two and on their physical appearance. I will also try to get their sun, moon and rising signs and possibly initials. Any additional zodiac placements and questions (such as race, for example) will each add a value of 1.50€ to the reading.

You can choose what type of soulmate you want: platonic, past life, karmic, romantic, healing, etc.

My Twin Flame: 30€

This is a long detailed reading on your twinflame’s, hobbies, jobs, on the relationship between you two and on their physical appearance. I will also try to get their sun, moon and rising signs and possibly initials. Any additional zodiac placements and questions (such as race, for example) will each add a value of 1.50€ to the reading.

My Children Reading: 30€

I will do a detailed reading on your future (or current yet young) children. This will tell you how many kids you will have, their personalities, physical appearance, talents/hobbies/future careers and sun, moon and rising signs. Any addititional placements or questions will each add a value of 1.50€ to the reading.

Love Finder Reading: 30€

This will help you in your journey to find love. It will help you localize what is blocking you from love and will help you tell you when you will be in your next relationship and some details about this partner.

Heartbreak Reading: 20€ (CLOSED)

This is a reading that will help you healing your broken heart and understand why it happened from a spiritual point of view, what you can do with it and how to move on.

Their Feelings Reading: 8.50€

This will help you find out their true feelings and intention towards you.

Your Feelings Reading: 5€

This helps you understand your feelings towards somebody else you might be confused about.

Lover In Love Reading: 12.50€

A reading that will talk about how you are in love and about your behaviour, giving you advice on how to be the best lover you could potentially be.

Relationship Dreaming Reading: 6.50€

This will help you see how a relationship with a certain person would be.

Their Astrological Placements Readings:

You can choose one person of your choosing. It could be a future sibling, lover, twinflame, soulmate, child, etc. I would also be willing to do this on your animals/pets.

sun, moon, rising: 5€

sun, moon, rising, mercury, venus and mars: 8€

sun, moon, rising, mercury, venus, mars, jupiter, saturn, uranus, neptune, pluto and midheaven sign: 12.50€

sun, moon, rising, mercury, venus, mars, jupiter, saturn, uranus, neptune, pluto and midheaven sign; dominant signs and planets: 15€

sun, moon, rising, mercury, venus, mars, jupiter, saturn, uranus, neptune, pluto and midheaven sign; dominant signs and planets; houses of each placement and any 3 asteroids you desire: 25€ (CLOSED)

Their Appearance: 5€

This will tell you the physical appearance of your desired person: future partner/husband/wife, twinflame/soulmate, future kids, etc.

Their Career: 5€

This will tell you the career of your desired person: future partner/husband/wife, twinflame/soulmate, future kids, etc.

Their Personality: 5€

This will tell you the personality of your desired person: future partner/husband/wife, twinflame/soulmate, future kids, etc.

Self-Love Reading: 10€

This reading will give you tips on how to improve your self-love/worth/confidence, etc.

Inner Sensual Goddess/God: 15€ (CLOSED)

Reading that helps you get more in touch with your sexuality, seduction abilities, become more attractive vibe/personality wise, be more confident and have self-love.

CAREER/FINANCES READINGS

These readings can also be adapted to school/university themes.

Current Job/Career: 30€ (CLOSED)

This will be a reading on your current career/job. This will give you advice on your love life and on how to improve it, heal it. This is extremely detailed and is really good if you are looking for me to channel a specific deity. how your boss/colleagues feel about you, advice and any other type of information that I might get. This reading is extremely detailed and in depth. This can also be used to answer any specific question you might have.

Current Finances: 30€ (CLOSED)

This will be a reading on your current relationship with money, advice on how to handle it and spend it better, tell you what your money blocks are and ways to heal/fix it.

Career/Finance Advice: 15€ (CLOSED)

This will give you advice on your career/finances and on how to improve it. This is extremely detailed.

Leave or Stay: 5€

A spread that helps you decide whether to stay or not in your current career/job/university.

Career/Studying Boost: 6.50€

A reading that will give you advice on how to boost your performance.

Money Boost: 6.50€

This gives you advice on how to attract more money and abundance into your life.

Career Choice: TBD

This will help you decide which career/degree is best for you. The price will depend on how many careers/jobs you are torn between.

Future Career: 5€

A prediction of your future career(s).

Follow The Dream: 10€ (CLOSED)

Will help you manifest your desired career and will localize your blockages with advice on how to get rid of them.

Spiritual Readings

Past lives have a category of their own.

Spiritual Advice: 10€ (CLOSED)

This will give you detailed advice on your spiritual journey and give you a look into your blockages and how to get rid of them. Great if you want to contact a specific deity.

Spiritual Blockages: 5€

This will help you localize blockages and get rid of them just like the Spiritual Advice, but a bit less detailed. Great if you want to contact a specific deity.

Body/Mind/Soul: 5€

This will tell you how/what your body, soul and mind feel/need the most at the moment.

Strengths/Flaws: 6.50€

This will highlight your strengths and your flaws. Great for shadow working. If you only want strengths or flaws, and not both, that would be 3.50€.

Law of Attraction Reading: 25€

This reading will talk about your relationship with what you are trying to manifest, how your manifestation progress is going, what is holding you back/blockages and advice on how to heal from that. It will also have some tips like methods to manifest or guidance on how to use subliminals, if you use them.

Law of Attraction Reading #2: 15€

This is cheaper version of my first LOA reading that will talk about your blockages, what is holding you back and how the progress is doing.

Life Purpose: 10€

I will tell you what your life purpose is. Your life purpose is the purpose why you incarnated this life on earth and what you are meant to achieve.

Soul Purpose: 10€

This is what your soul wants to learn and take from all your incarnations.

Psychic Abilities: 15€

This will give you advice on how to develop your abilities and localize your blockages. I will also tell you which abilities have more potential to be developed.

Psychic Abilities #2: 5€

I will tell you which abilities you have more potential to develop.

Higher Self Reading: 15€ (CLOSED)

I will connect to your higher self and tell you their characteristics, energy and any messages they have for you.

Spirit Guide Reading: 15€ (CLOSED)

I will connect to your most prominent spirit guide (up to the 2 more prominent ones) and tell you their characteristics, energy and any messages they have for you.

Messages from Angels/Deities/Spirit Guides/Higher Self/Other: 15€

I will try to connect with any entity of your choice (please read the Information in the beginning as it underlines my rules and conditions about this) and deliver any messages to you. You can also ask 5 specific questions.

Aura Reading: 5€

I cannot always see colors, but I am able to feel them around you and give you a reading about the energy that is around you and the characteristics you are embodying right now. I usually am able to sense/see multiple layers of your aura, from the permanent layers to the temporary ones.

Animal Guide Reading: 5€

Animal guides are animals whose energy you could learn from or that you embody. This will tell you what animal guide(s) are in your life at the moment.

This is commonly known as “spirit animal” but this term is considered cultural appropriation and, because of that, I choose to not claim it and use another term that I think is more respectful to other closed practices.

Chakra Reading: 5€

This will tell you what chakras you need to work on.

Angel Number: 5€

I will channel an angel number for you that will serve as an important message that you need to hear right now.

Crystal Readings: 5€

This will tell you what crystal matches your energy the most at the moment or the one who you would benefit from the most. It brings a description of the crystal properties.

PAST LIFE READINGS

Number of lives you had: 5€

Countries you lived/were born in in past lives: 10€

Origin of your soul: 7.50€ (CLOSED)

Our soul origins might come different planets (which we usually call starseed), it might have an earth origin, a fae or elven origin, between many others.

Types of past lives you had: 8.50€ (CLOSED)

If you had multiple earth past lives or many past lives as other beings.

Past life story (simple, overall, 10-30 lines): 15€ (CLOSED)

This will be a random past life that is the most important for you as of now or a past life of your choosing (there is a possibility I might not be able to see the past life you choose).

Past life story (detailed, from childhood to death and all life areas, unlimited lines): 45€ (CLOSED)

This will be a random past life that is the most important for you as of now or a past life of your choosing (there is a possibility I might not be able to see the past life you choose).

Past life love life: 20€

this will tell you your love stories from only one life that is affecting you now. This is going to be as detailed as the 45€ past life story.

Past lives’ love life: 35€ (CLOSED)

This will tell you many love stories and hardships from many past lives that are affecting you and/or your relationship now. This will help you learn what love karma you might have now with the chance of getting to know if the current person you are with was part of any past life. This is ideal for shadow working and to recognize negative unhealthy patterns in your love life. Will come with intuitive advice.

Past life’s career story: 20€

this will tell you your career stories from only one life that is affecting you the most now. This is going to be as detailed as the 45€ past life story but for career only. This is ideal to understand the problems you might have manifesting/gaining money and will help you understand past life blockages regarding to it. If you did not have a job in your past life (for being homeless, a woman, etc) this will talk about how not having a job affected you and will highlight other people’s jobs (like husband’s, father’s, etc.) and how they influenced you.

Past lives’ career life: 35€ (CLOSED)

This will tell you many career stories and hardships from many past lives that are affecting you and/or your finances/career now. This will help you learn what money/career karma you might have now with the chance of getting to know. This is ideal for shadow working and to recognize negative unhealthy patterns in your career life/relationship with money and will help you increase chances of manifesting it in the future. Will come with intuitive advice.

Past life’s spiritual/religious life: 20€

this will tell you your spiritual/religious life from only one life that is affecting you the most now. This is going to be as detailed as the 50€ past life story but for this area only. This is ideal to understand any effect your past life’s beliefs have on your faith in this life and any blokages relating to it.

Past lives’ spiritual/religious life: 35€ (CLOSED)

This will tell you many spiritual beliefs and multiple past lives that are affecting you. This is ideal for shadow working and to recognize negative unhealthy patterns in your subconscious patterns. Will come with intuitive advice.

Past life’s family (simple, around 20-25 lines): 20€ (CLOSED)

This will tell you how your past life’s family was (the one affecting you the most right now). You will know how many kids you had (if any), if you got married and more about your parents/grandparents and how the general relationship was with them.

Past life’s family (detailed, unlimited number of lines): 35€ (CLOSED)

This will tell you about your past life’s family. You will know how many kids you had, their appearance and personality and the relationship you had with them. You will know if you got married, how your partner was personality and appearance wise and the relationship between you two. You will also get to know the same thing about your parents, grandparents, cousins and aunts/uncles.

Past life children: 7.50€

I will tell you how many children you had in a past life of your choosing with the chance of telling you if they are incarnated or not with you in this life.

Past lives’ children: 15€ (CLOSED)

I will tell you how many children you had in multiple different lives and will tell you if they are incarnated or not with you in this life.

Past life’s childhood: 15€

It will help you find out about your past life’s childhood and any traumas that might have come with it and the relationship with your family. This can help you understand yourself and is great for shadow working.

Past lives’ childhood: 35€ (CLOSED)

It will help you find out about multiple past lives’ childhood and any traumas that might have come with it and the relationship with your family. This can help you understand yourself and is great for shadow working.

Past life names: 15€ (CLOSED)

I will try to get past lives’ names (yours, relatives, friends or lovers) or, at least initials. This is for all of your past lives, not only one. (The price is high because getting names and initials take a lot of energy from me)

Past life centuries/years: 10€

I will tell you the eras and years you lived in. I might only be able to get a general era for some of your lives, but I will try to give you the most detailed answers possible.

Past life lessons/karma: $15

I will tell you the lessons you learned/were trying to learn in that and if there are any lessons or karma that you are still carrying into this day. You can choose a determined area of life or even about a relationship between you and somebody else if you wish.

Past life zodiac signs

this will only be for one life as I don’t want to mix up placements between lives by accident. I can also do this for any of your past lives’ partner.

sun, moon, rising: 5€

sun, moon, rising, mercury, venus and mars: 8€

sun, moon, rising, mercury, venus, mars, jupiter, saturn, uranus, neptune, pluto and midheaven sign: 12.50€

sun, moon, rising, mercury, venus, mars, jupiter, saturn, uranus, neptune, pluto and midheaven sign; dominant signs and planets: 15€

Current life partners + Past life ones: 15€

I will tell you if the current person you are with was part of a past life, if you are incarnated with any of your past life partners or if you will meet any of them. I will also tell you if you met your twinflame or soulmates in a past life.

Fantasy Readings

Mermaid Reading: 5€

I will tell how you would be as a mermaid/what type of mermaid you would be. This is for fun, so be aware of that when purchasing.

Vampire Reading: 5€

I will tell how you would be as a vampire. This is for fun, so be aware of that when purchasing.

Nymph Reading: 5€

I will tell how you would be as a vampire. This is for fun, so be aware of that when purchasing.

Amazon Reading: 5€

I will tell how you would be as an amazon. This is for fun, so be aware of that when purchasing.

Hero Reading: 5€

I will tell how you would be as a hero. Costume, motivations and powers included. This is for fun, so be aware of that when purchasing.

Villain Reading: 5€

I will tell how you would be as a villain. Costume, powers and motivations included. This is for fun, so be aware of that when purchasing.

Warrior Reading: 5€

I will describe the type of warrior you are.

Weapon Reading: 5€

I will describe a weapon that would fit in with your personality and higher self. This is for fun, so be aware of that when purchasing.

Bundles (closed except for pendulum bundles)

Bundles might take a couple days more to be delivered.

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zeewhyohen · 4 years

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BLACK WOMEN: KEEP YOUR MONEY.

Three months in, and 2020 is already on some BS.

It’s only March, and we’ve already had to shake our heads at Snoop Dogg, Roddy Ricch, Tory Lanez, 50 Cent, and so many more Black “men” in the industry. But today, we’re talking about Da Baby.

Let me start off by saying that Da Baby is an undeniably crusty ass excuse of a man. The fact that he had to parade around in a diaper to get the attention he manages today, should say enough about how little character he has. Still, Da Baby rapped his big headed way into the hearts of thousands last year; so much so that his mostly-women fans paid no mind once he’d gotten comfortable enough to showcase his truly toxic nature. Before I could even decide whether the man was ugly or cute, I was hearing about Da Baby shooting people (which was fair, in this case), slapping and punching fans, and more.

Like many Black women who’ve been desensitized to overly aggressive men, I wasn’t even bothered by this behavior at first. I found myself making excuses for Da Baby, or simply not saying anything when I couldn’t defend his actions. I don’t like people too close to me either, I’d say whenever my mom would tell me about his latest violent act in awe. At one point, she forbade me from listening to his music altogether because he was so violent--- and I was like, you’re doing too much. See, I’m the kind of “fan” that doesn’t care too much what artists do outside of their art. I generally don’t care about who celebrities are as people or what they do in their lives, as long as it doesn’t negatively impact whatever creativity they offer the world. So, I didn’t care if Da Baby had a bad attitude or if he was a grown ass man fighting like a teenager or whatever else people were saying about him. All I cared about was whether the songs had some bop in ‘em, and if Stunna was getting a verse. But there comes a time when one’s personal life starts to bleed into their artistry, and that time for Da Baby came this morning.

I don’t tune into gossip pages, so I only heard about Da Baby’s newest travesty through my mother. She couldn’t wait to show me the now-viral video of him that was posted on The Shade Room, showing the rapper straight up punching a woman at a concert. A little background: anyone with eyes can see that the shuffling of the eager crowd resulted in someone pushing said woman. The force of the push caused her to bump into Da Baby, making her already-raised cell phone brush against his face. Instead of just pushing the woman away or moving her hand out of the way like a normal person would, my mans proceeded to hit this woman like somebody off of the street. And this wasn’t just any woman, y’all, or I probably wouldn’t be writing this.

It was a Black woman.

And did I mention that he drew back and punched this woman with every bit of his strength?

Like… what?

Now, for many, this wasn’t really a surprise. Da Baby literally goes around acting like a child and punching whomever he pleases, so what’s the big deal? Ain’t nobody surprised, and this is confirmed by the thousands of comments underneath the video, full of laughing emojis and jokes about how he “knocked her head all the way back.” It was this reaction, guys, that pissed me clean off. Not only is Da Baby far too comfortable disrespecting Black women (I mean, look at how he has his baby mama out here…), but he is normalizing this degrading behavior in front of thousands of young, impressionable Black men. Despite the fact that most of his comments on social media and support as a whole comes from Black women who find him attractive, Da Baby showed zero compassion or respect for Black women when he punched that woman like she had no air of femininity in her entire body. Had his victim been a racially ambiguous woman, Da Baby would already be cancelled. But because the video clearly showcases his victim as a Black woman, it’s just supposed to be funny. Everybody’s just supposed to laugh and move on; we’re all expected to accept his pathetic Instagram apology and give him a clean slate. It is this obvious sense of entitlement that brings me to my point: Black women, take your damn money back.

Stop supporting “artists” who grow big-headed because of your support and your money, only to disrespect you in their songs and punch you in the face when you get too close to them. If Beyonce isn’t out here punching fans who get too close to her, and Kanye West’s bipolar disorder doesn’t have him jaw-checking aggressive fans, then why the hell should Da Baby’s guitar-pick head ass get a pass?

The answer is, he shouldn’t.

None of these embarrassing, self-hating ass Black men should. There should be no demand and no platform for artists like Future and Kodak Black who do nothing but pollute the industry with their ghetto ass, anti-Black women shenanigans. There should be no Black women dropping heart eyes in their comments, or adding their songs to their playlists, period. Because if it weren’t for the Black woman’s undying support, none of these glorified losers would be where they are today; and that applies to Black men in every realm of entertainment.

So when Bop comes on in the club, try not to get lost in the beat. Try to remember how quick Da Baby was to punch a woman who looks like you, and who loved his music like you, and start booing. And the next time you wanna enjoy some Gin and Juice, remind yourself of how happy Snoop Dogg was to degrade two Black women for the whole world to see, simply because they were doing their jobs. I could go on and on with examples, but the message remains the same: stop supporting people who do not support or respect you. If you know your worth, then act like it, and stop praising men who use you and throw you to the wolves. And, if you don’t want to, then that’s on you. But please, don’t come crying to the Black community to commit a mass cancellation the next time your favorite artist takes your money and slaps you in the face with it.

Signed,

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xialing-gf · 5 years

Text

take a break

summary: college applications are taking a toll on your mental health and your relationship (basically the two most important things in your life)

Wc: 1383

Tw: anxiety, feelings of worthlessness, college stress

“Y/n, take a break! You’ve been working yourself to the bone these past few days. Just take one hour off and watch a couple episodes of Brooklyn 99 with me, please?” Peter pleaded over the phone. Ironically, as he asked you to take a break, you were working on college essays as you called Peter on the phone.

“I will, I will! I just need to cram in a couple essay drafts and study for AP Biology. It won’t take that long,” You reasoned, trying not to yawn as you reassured your boyfriend. Your fingers felt like stiff sticks of ice and a thousand invisible hands pressed into your aching back. You felt your eyes falling but took another chug of coffee to try to stay awake.

“You don’t sound fine. I’m coming over,” Peter stated, hanging up on you before you could try to persuade him that you didn’t need his help. You promised yourself that you would go to bed before he could arrive to prove his suspicions wrong but you couldn’t finish your work as quickly as you expected.

The doorbell rang and you swore under your breath as you shoved textbooks into your backpack and organized the messy papers on your desk as fast as you could. You heard the low murmurs of Peter talking with your dad as you hurriedly saved your work on the laptop before shutting it down. You turned off your lights and crawled into bed, pulling the covers over your head, feigning sleep. You heard Peter walk into your room and sigh loudly, “I know you’re awake, Y/n. The pen on your desk is uncapped and I know you would never leave a pen uncapped unless you were kidnapped or dead.”

Peter walked over next to your bed and turned on the lamp. He sat down on your bed and you peeked up from your covers, meeting his eyes. He sat down on your bed, the mattress dipping slightly from his weight. You sat up on your bed, dragging a finger through your messy hair as you sighed in defeat. Peter’s soft brown eyes flashed with worry as he reached over and held your hand, asking, “What’s wrong? You’ve been more stressed lately.”

“It’s just… I guess it’s just college. Everybody is stressed too but I feel like I’m stressed for different reasons?” You sounded uncertain, mainly because you had been repressing all these emotions by working on college applications. “Like college is such a big deal, you know? My parents have always told me that college was going to determine the rest of my life. If I get into a good college, I can find a job easier but if I don’t I’m going to have to work really hard. It’s just a lot of pressure to handle.”

After you finished rambling, you immediately felt bad for pouring your heart out. You had never really confronted these feelings and now that you finally faced them, you realized how big of an impact school had on your mental health. During softball season, you were constantly crying and having mental breakdowns because of how much work you had. During finals, you always lost sleep due to your stress and anxiety keeping you up. Dang, the school system really did ruin your mental health.

“Why are you worried? Your grades are great and you’re really good at softball! I’m sure colleges will all accept you,” Peter reassured, still holding your hand. His eyes were filled with so much kindness and compassion that you felt bad for even bringing it up. “You’re probably the smartest person I know.”

“I seem like a smart person but compared to other people, I’m not that smart. I only took one AP course sophomore year and my friend took four. He’s so smart! He’s won so many math competitions so he’s probably going to get into Stanford, Harvard, and Yale while I’ll probably go to some community college. I mean, community colleges aren’t bad; it’s just that my parents want me to go to a private college. They’ve been wanting this for a long time,” You didn’t realize you had been crying until you stopped talking and felt the tears on your cheek. Peter’s smile had faded and he gently rubbed the tears off your face with his sleeve. You both sat in silence for a moment before Peter spoke again.

“Life isn’t fair and I’m sorry I can’t change much but I promise you, things will get better. Also, your worth is not determined by the worth of others. You just have to get through college applications and once you get to college, you won’t have to constantly compare yourself to anybody. Sure, you’ll definitely put effort into studying but you won’t have to tear yourself apart to compete with everybody. Well, not until you have to work,” Peter sighed, visibly worried about you. You wiped away a couple stray tears and nodded, trying to look on the bright side. Colleges wanted somebody who was resilient and confident and you once were but now you had no fight in you left.

School and sports had drained you and you wanted to not complain but sometimes you wished you could get a break to clear your head and get back the confidence you lost. You didn’t want to blame life or fate for your misfortunes so you began to blame everything on yourself and it was definitely not healthy. In addition to that, you constantly compared yourself to everybody, which made you feel like you weren’t good enough. You wanted to improve, to be a better person, but you couldn’t if you no longer believed in yourself.

Peter must have noticed that your brain was launched into anxiety-mode because he pulled you into a hug, rubbing soothing circles on your back. You eventually calmed down, which allowed you to clear your head for a bit. Peter pulled away and asked, “Want to come over my place tomorrow night? We can watch a movie and relax. It sounds like you really need it.”

“Yeah, that would be nice. Thank you,” You kissed Peter on the cheek and he chuckled as he stood up. He turned off the light and softly told you to go to sleep before leaving your room and closing the door behind him. That was the first night you had properly slept in ages.

Peter helped you survive college applications and after you submitted all of them, Peter and your friends threw you a celebratory party. Everybody knew you worked hard and for the first time in what felt like forever, all your hard work was recognized. The wait for any word from colleges was painful. Checking the mailbox twice a day became a habit and spending time with Peter always eased your nerves. He always surprised you with gifts and never hesitated to remind you that you were doing amazing. The future, as scary as it seemed, became a little less scary when you had Peter by your side. Unfortunately, you spending time with Peter led to you developing another worry: losing your relationship to long distance.

You and Peter applied for some colleges and you were hoping that you two could get into some together. But even if you two ended up going to the same college, you were scared softball and schoolwork would not allow you to make time to spend with Peter. You told Peter how you felt about this and he didn’t seem too worried at all.

“We’ve gone through so much together and in the end, it always works out. Sometimes things will be out of our control and that’s okay because, every time, no matter the situation, we always end up okay. And we will be okay this time too,” Peter had stated, a glimmer of hope in his eyes and a dash of confidence on his voice. You realized that he was right and that now that college applications were submitted, all you could do was wait and live in the moment. You did your best to live in the moment with Peter because you would never get to experience this period of time again so it was about time to start treating yourself and your mental health better.

feel free to send requests! i also have a marvel page on my blog so check it out for more marvel fics or check out my peter parker x reader masterlist for more fics like this!

Taglist: @dutchiewhotriestowrite @sleep-i-ness @screwurluv @msweet34

(Comment if you want to be tagged in my marvel fics!)

#marvel #peter parker x reader #peter parker #mcu #peter parker imagine #peter parker x you #marvel fanfic #marvel imagine #fanfiction #x reader #imagine #spider-man #spiderman #college au #fluff #angst #mild angst #spiderman x reader #spiderman imagine

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shlrzy09 · 4 years

Text

A Letter To My Mother

To my mother,

As it was said in class, fear is an identification that I am at risk. Ma, what I am about to tell you is something I have never shared with you. When Donald Trump was running for president, I did not think that his bigoted self would win. I really had hope for this country. Coincidentally, that was around the same time that I was very involved here in the university and I put in a lot of work to make changes organizing with student leaders and my community. When the news channels said he won the election, I remember being in the student center here at Rutgers University and the shock that went through my body caused me to drop my stuff on the floor. I immediately went back to my off-campus housing and I cried the whole night. I thought about myself and the people who similarly identified as me- queer bisexual scholar, artist, activist woman of color. I thought about you, Frankie (my sister), and Alex (my step dad). I thought about my community and the closer communities we work with. I panicked, I did not know what to do so I went home the next day. You thought I visited to taste your home cooked meal but in my head, it was hell’s kitchen. I needed to know that you were safe because fear took over me and somehow, I imagined what life would be like after these four years and what it would be like for us. I coped through writing and came up with this poem:

“Before listening to me,

Remember that what you hear,

And how you’re listening

Is a projecting force from within.

So, bear with me.

Take this to your deepest core.

If you ask me why I am the way I am,

I want you to know that

I am the way I am.

But

if I had one chance to pray,

I would pray this,

Please bless me, bless me, bless me because-

Here I am, pouring sweat on my body,

But it hurts every time it touches me.

It burns like acid-looking/wax-burning on a candlelight, lit with fire

as if I was made from one.

As if I carry the ocean waves of tears

Of my ancestors crying for

Not another day where

They had to give little pieces of themselves,

Willingly being robbed or their tongues,

Bear,

To ride the bandwagon of such a white blanket.

Spaces.

No.

My tears speak for how heavy my heart feels.

its weight pushing down my organs

trying to find the right ways to escape a body so whole,

yet so hollow.

As if I stand a chance.

I can feel my ancestors’ footsteps marching,

Running, crawling,

a smoke of sand blowing everywhere,

Stumbling back home.

No.

Rooted from my veins, my blood-

My blood always find the right points of temperature enough just to boil immediately

as if it was a default setting,

regularly bound to happen.

Like my body is not mine to keep

Every single time someone who does not

Look like me speak.

My blood boils

Ooh

My blood boils.

As if my body was wrapped up,

bonded by the pacific ring of fire.

My blood boils.

No.

On schedule, there was no structure as to how I scrape the walls of my bones

And no, it doesn’t hurt,

And no.

(I mean)

yes,

red alert,

But not

to then revert

the forbidden tending motion

Of the protection I had

From this

Red

White

Blue

Land of the

Red white blue

Land of the

Free?

United Snakes of America,

Land of the free,

Applies to you,

And you,

But not for me.

One nation

Under God,

Indivisible,

With liberty,

And justice for all

- except if you’re not white.

I knew all along.

Somebody like me will never really be

My skin so brown

My eyes so wide

My hair so black.

My teeth so bright.

I can’t quite find the silver lining.

How could I have been so foolish?

I want to feel the privilege of

Sleeping peacefully

Knowing that racism,

Misogyny,

And

Intolerance will not affect me.

But

I am young

And foolish

Full of ambition

But

I am young

And foolish

Full of ambition

In this country.

Need I say more?

I’m not mad. I just want you to feel what it feels like.”

Ma, we got here ten years ago and it still feel like I do not belong here. There is this concept we talked about in class about humanitas vs anthropos and I could not help to think that I am the other (anthropos). The white folks (humanitas) have done their job again making me feel like I am under them instead of next to them. What it means to me now is that my work is not just for me. This degree is not just for me. This is for you and the family, everyone after me, my brothers and sisters, and everyone who needs love in this country. And then I ask, are we inside the border of something we did not expect to be in or we were just really blind to the reality that this country was not meant to be for us? I believe in the power of visibility. This is our struggle and what I am about to tell you is theirs.

James Baldwin’s “I am Not Your Negro,” and Ta-nehisi Coates’ “Between The World and Me,” covered the stories of black bodies here in America. Let me tell you, the subjects of their books were not so different than us. Baldwin and Coates were phenomenal writers who exposed so much about their truths. They wrote about their communities with respect and power. I will never turn my back against any writers who talk about the concepts of their communities’ realities because I aspire to be like one of those writers.

Vulgar racism was one of the concepts that were mentioned in their books. Vulgar can mean rude, distasteful, overdone, or in our language- “bastos.” I do not need to explain to you what racism is. You know what it is. Ma, do you know that the Black communities face this vulgar racism the most? I thought that my middle school bullies were the worst, but no. This is beyond calling me chink and making fun of how I say “detention.” This is beyond the point where I hold my tears all day, run to our bathroom, cry, and cause harm to my body because this country was a huge adjustment for me so I had to learn how to assimilate the hard way.

Ma, in Baldwin’s book, he shared his despair about the time that they had heroes who fought many battles for them but with this concept of vulgar racism, their heroes were only able to fight for a limited amount of time. I pray my respect to Malcolm X, Martin Luther King Jr., and Medgar Evans.

There was also another incident when Dorothy Counts, a powerful black student, was taunted and disrespected by white folks for attending an all-white, non-integrated school. That could have been me, ma. I think back about middle school and how nice and cruel the folks were but never this much. Ma, this bigoted white community willingly hurt these humble people for the color of their skin and their desire to mobilize. All they wanted was love and to be treated equally.

And then in Coates’ book, he shared many examples of police brutality. Tamir Rice, Eric Garner, Michael Brown, Trayvon Martin, and many more. You’ve watched the news. You’ve seen how they drop dead like flies. Ma, I learned that it is important to say their names, to remember them, and to know how they died. This is all out of respect. They are constrained in their black bodies. I see chains tied up all around them to the point where it is questionable how they even breathe. They operate through the concept of fear, ma. There are many African-American families and other intersectional identities in the Black communities that live through fear.

This similar fear, I empathize when Donald Trump became president. When my stuff dropped on the floor of the student center, I felt their pain on top of my fear for the future of this country. I am a permanent resident trying to naturalize myself into a citizen of this country I am supposed to love and die for but this is how they treat their people. Tell me how to maneuver around that, please. You always know what is best for me.

Other concepts are the causes and effects of racism. I have mentioned a little about what happens after racism exposes itself in the air but for the Black community ma, again, they have it worse.

In Baldwin’s book, he mentioned a statement that struck me with multiple reflections about how the black community have been treated since the centuries of slavery back in the day. He said, “Blacks are not human, or as human as they are,” (pg 40). This automatically sets a divide between their community and the rest of us. But I understand that it is not their fault. This institutional racism played a huge role that made their lives play out like this.

In Coates’ book, he mentioned one of the young honorable children who died through police brutality. Ma, he was the same age as RJ (my cousin) the year this happened. The black body is not going to be truly safe in this country unless they know the ins and outs of the streets or even in stuff like higher education. The cause of racism is their black bodies. The effects other than death equals fear throughout their lives. A black child cannot grow up the same way a white child would. The black child, to me, has to grow up faster in different routes.

Because I know it is not about me, selfishly, what this means to me is that I am not alone. I am not the only one who struggles with some type of institutional system set up against me and people like me. Positively, I know that I will be able to determine who can help me understand the struggle and how to get out of it. I know you are thinking that this does not affect you but to think about it, the foundation of the oppression we face roots from the hatred this country has against people of color, especially the Black communities.

Ma, I know my tattoos do not mean much to you and in fact, I remember you resenting me for them. I have a safety pin to symbolize a safe haven within my body for people to see that they are safe with me. I have “Love Yourself First” to remind me to healthily love others. I have arrows moving forward to remind me that I am a force that gets set back in order to build momentum for the push forward. My narrative, along with the Black communities only scream unity within adversity. Our narratives need to be heard and I believe that visibility matters. I am your daughter and this is the reality I live in my head. All you know is that I am a college student working for a degree so then I can have better opportunities in the future so then I can buy you a house in the Philippines that you always wanted, and to get us out of Irvington. What you do not know is that Irvington raised me along with you. My friends from middle school are the foundation of my knowledge through the streets and they helped me improve my English. My high school friends taught me about love and relationships with people. And my college friends, I know I am going to cherish for the rest of my life. The people I met, the teachers who believed in me, and the experiences I have seen and heard of all helped shape who I am today. I made the decision to dedicate the rest of my life to my community. Do not worry. You did not raise a quitter. Ma, there are some good in the bad after all. It is just that people like us need to look for the good using different routes and we have to work three times harder. That’s all. Thank you for giving birth to me because I believe in healthy, gradual change and I will be responsible for some of it.

Para sa iyo,

Ang anak mo’ng si Patricia.

#words #personal #iamanimmigrant #firstgen #cortado

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