#haven't seen them all

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[zoe-oneesama]

Some "Special" Girls! And the late girls.

Ko-fi | Patreon

#you don't even know how long I've held onto the Zoe one I made her with the quickness #I still haven't seen the Shanghai or New York Special I went in mostly blind on their looks #all the 'Specials' girls did get a redesign from me so the version where their mimicking their render pose is the redesign #though I kept Jess's hair wraps even though I don't love them #I know Native American people DO wrap their hair sometimes but I think it was to cop-out of animating her braids #my art #fashion #ml paris special #emonette #jess #aeon #new york special #fei #shanghai special #socqueline #zoe #socqueline wang #zoe lee #marinette #marinette dupain-cheng #ml art #miraculous ladybug

[bitegore]

Zionists want you to conflate Judaism and Zionism. Zionists want you to believe that Judaism cannot exist without Zionism and that all Jews are Zionists. Zionism would have Jews believe that a Jewish state is the only way that they can be safe from antisemitism and will point to any instance of antisemitism as proof that Zionism is the solution- so Zionism wants gentiles to be antisemitic in their support of Palestine. They want you to conflate all Jews with Zionism and the state of Israel, and they want you to treat all Jews regardless of political affiliation as the face of Israel. Antizionist Jews exist, and incidences of antisemitism ostensibly acting against Zionism will not help dismantle the forces propping Zionism up.

Don't do their work for them.

#red rambles #viva palestina #antizionism #i haven't actually seen a lot of antisemitism personally. not recently anyway. but that's more a feature of me not following antisemites #i DO however see a lot of people talking about the people they're seeing throw their support behind antisemites using palestine #as an excuse to conflate all jews with israel #and i cannot stress enough that that is literally what israel and zionist forces abroad WANT. #i am jewish. my entire family is jewish. i want to see palestine free. and i have SEEN how the jewish community gets conflated with israel #both from the inside and out #and i am dead serious when i say that every time someone is antisemitic it strengthens the conviction from people abroad #that it's a terrible sad situation but there's 'no other choice' #if you're being antisemitic you are doing the enemy's work for them. Stop it. #like... look. i am putting this in the tags bc im talking in the tags but i mean this. I do not give a single flying fuck if you personally #are a giant raging antisemite at the moment. Your personal beliefs are your problem and not mine. I do not fucking care. But if you are #being openly and loudly antisemitic *in your support of palestine* you are absolutely not fucking helping. I am so dead serious right now #if you want to raise awareness and you're being antisemitic because of deep held beliefs or whatever i want you to look around and read the #fucking room. Do you understand how much of Israel's international support comes from the idea that they are the only country where jews ar #safe from antisemitism? do you see how every time palestine comes up people point at incidences of antisemitism in anti-genocide actions to #discredit the entire movement? do you not understand how your actions are cutting the movement down at the knees? #i'm jewish and proud of it. i don't like antisemitism. but there's a genocide on and i'd rather work against it than quibble over who i #work alongside. i dont fucking care. you can be as antisemitic as you like in private. stop fucking the movement up. #there are bigger things to worry about here. if i can put aside my own concerns as to who i'm talking to you can hold your tongue #and fight the good fight instead of handing weapons to the people who are trying to fucking flatten gaza.

[wednesdaysky]

I like how Gortash is kind of a hidden foil to the theme of "breaking free from those who abuse you" and "perpetuating the cycle of abuse" that runs throughout all of BG3.

He was hurt very badly. What did he learn from it? That you're ultimately alone, nobody is going to come save you, the only person on your side is yourself. He didn't have a Tav/anyone else to come help him, or if he did, he refused to let their words get through to him. He dragged himself out of literal hell -- from there decided he was going to make the entire world pay for what was done to him. From there never grew up from the kind of simple fantasy a child would come up with, I'll be better than you, nyah nyah. From there did an Ascended Astarion and did live his own worst life.

His parents had power over him but decided they'd rather have money than another mouth to feed? Fuck them, Enver could earn more money than they ever had. Raphael had power over him and lived a life of luxury while treating his slaves to all the horrors of life amongst devils? Fuck him, Enver could accumulate more luxury than even a devil would ever have, even steal his coveted toy. He was smart, he could outwit them, he could be worse than them if needed and leave them all crying in the dust at his success.

And then he did whatever was necessary, the way his own family had done what was necessary, no matter how dirty. Went on to beg, borrow, and steal his way to the good life with no sleazy stone unturned. Seducing people to steal from them? Who cares, if they don't notice he's doing it then they're idiots and deserve to be taken for a ride. Weapons dealing? Barely a crime at all, if he wasn't doing it someone else would. Selling slaves? Who cares, it was done to him and he got out, anybody who can't is just a weakling. Selling Karlach in specific? Betraying those who trust you to make a quick buck is just good business, he had it done to him and he's fine. Playing with people's souls and lives in the most horrific fashion possible? Whatever, it's not his soul and they're not worth that much anyway, devils literally spend them as currency.

Hitch your wagon to somebody more powerful than you, use their influence to gain more power over others, then step on them to climb your way up the ladder -- that's the way you get what you want out of life. It's no surprise that he threw in his lot with Bane. Sure, he's technically got a new master holding authority over his head (though with as arrogant and self-aggrandizing as he is, I can picture him even thinking "I already outfoxed two powerful devils, I'm about to rule the world, so...what's a single god really?"), but all these stupid mortals underneath him? Now they have to do whatever he wants. It's childish petty revenge taken to the utmost logical extreme possible. Everybody he ever hated, everybody who ever wronged him, everybody who might want to wrong him, they have no choice but to bow and scrape forever and it's the best kind of vengeance against the world to be able to hold that over them. Just consider what he does to his parents. He could've just killed them. Instead his wrath comes in the form of making them watch his success while trapping them in an unending hell they can never escape for as long as they live. The same fate they would have abandoned him to if things had gone differently.

So much of this is told through text notes and little side details that it's easy to miss, but I love that one of our main villains is somebody who suffered in a very similar way to some of the main cast members and his response to that wasn't trying to become better than what was done to him, it was to aim himself straight toward way, way worse.

#baldur's gate 3 #enver gortash #gortash #bg3 spoilers #honestly with the amount of little text notes i probably still haven't seen them all

[lasshoe]

I respect that you need to go home to your son, Ted. But I just want you to consider the possibility that this is your home.

#tedlassoedit #tedlassogif #ted lasso #rebecca welton #ted x rebecca #tedbecca #jason sudeikis #hannah waddingham #i adored all of their scenes in this episode so much #they all genuinely moved me #mostly i just wanted to gif that first quote bc i haven't seen it talked about much yet #above all else and despite it all #she truly deeply understood but doesn't mean it didn't break her heart #both of them broke my heart in a million ways in each but still #idk what this is but interpret it as him staying! idk! #also the head cradle......thats a life ruiner right there #animlorelaioriginal #1k

[haaam-guuuurl]

#dimension 20 #dungeons and drag queens #brennan lee mulligan #dropout #like yes of course the intrepid heroes one is exagerating but lol watching d&dq you can see such a difference #he's so nice and helping them in their first quest and explaining everything and accepting all their suggestions #but with the intrepid heroes it's “you better pray” and “explain yourself hilda hilda” and “real life take a test in the middle of a battle #🤣 #my posts #also if someone has made this before i'm sorry i swear i haven't seen any posts like this #but it seemed like an obvious meme lol

[thevalleyisjolly]

There’s a weird recurring take in D20 fan circles that Zac doesn’t play “complex” characters and that people are just waiting for the day when he “finally” plays an asshole, which kind of baffles me.  Quite apart from the idea that only morally grey characters are complex or compelling, are you sure we’re watching the same show?

In Fantasy High, we have Gorgug, an adopted biracial teenager whose journey includes realizing his self-worth, coming to terms with his rage (literally), seeking out and navigating new relationships with others (his birth parents, the Bad Kids, Zelda), and discovering what he’s capable of. 

From The Unsleeping City we have Ricky, a second-generation Japanese-American, who has a very personal struggle across two seasons between doing the dutiful/sacrificial thing for other people’s benefit and expressing his own needs, wants, thoughts, and feelings; it’s a very particular exploration of immigrant generations and the relationship between the sacrificial model of your ancestors and the culture you grew up surrounded by which emphasizes the self.

There’s A Crown of Candy and Lapin, whose snark and one-liners are honestly less interesting than the way he engaged with and sought to understand religion and faith; the different yet similar ways in which both the Sugar Plum Fairy and the Church exerted control over their followers, and the search for spiritual meaning beyond these figures/institutions.

Then there’s Cumulous, whose every character aspect navigates a space of tension - the ultimate war guy who made himself hardened (literally) and pragmatic to get the job done but who also remains soft and caring and empathetic at the same time; wielding the power of death without glorifying or giving into it; the cousin who both is a member of the family and yet who remains at somewhat of a distance from the centre; a literal warrior-philosopher who is single-minded in battle and quietly thoughtful about the mysteries of life and death outside of it.

As for actual assholes, we have Norman Takamori in A Starstruck Odyssey, a bitter man who is the living embodiment of both the Superior Orders excuse as well as scapegoating.  On a side note, the amount of absolute vitriol and double standards which people threw at Norman during ASO for being an unapologetic asshole -and he had less than two full episodes of screen time- kind of underscores the calls for Zac to play a “real” asshole.  Zac can and will play whatever type of character he wants, but is fandom really ready for him to play an asshole if that asshole doesn’t have a secret heart of gold?

From the same season, we have Valdrinor/Skip, who starts as the “prince running from his destiny” archetype with a dash of brain slug possession, has a humorous yet oddly profound exploration of what humanity is and what it means to be human, and springboards from there into “wait, who am I really and actually, why are we doing things (brain slug possession) this way when there are other ways to engage with the universe.” 

Most recently in Neverafter, we have Pib, who apart from the fascinating meta element of being a literal character archetype, constantly straddles the line between self-absorbed self-interest and putting himself on the line to help others; his repeated demonstration of both at various points throughout the season is a subtle yet intriguing manifestation of free will and choice-making in a story all about lacking free will and agency.

So, I mean, lack of complexity where?  Does a character need to be an asshole in order to be deep or compelling?  And because I’ve heard this specific rebuttal quite a few times now, does a character need to vocalize their innermost thoughts loudly and frequently in order to prove their complexity?  If a character is “less vocal” compared to other characters, does that mean they lack interiority? 

Also, other people have brought this up before, but I am once again asking that people remember the difference between fictional characters and real life people.  Zac playing one (1) himbo on the show does not make him a himbo in real life, nor does it make him incapable of creating or playing complex characters (especially as said himbo is himself an extremely complex character), nor does it make him a lesser player than other cast members.  You don’t have to find all or any of his characters interesting or complex, but can we stop conflating character with player?

#dimension 20 #dimension 20 discourse #dimension 20 spoilers #(in case you haven't seen one of the mentioned seasons) #i haven't listened to naddpod so i can't speak to mavrus and squing is not included but the point still stands generally #1) asshole/morally grey characters are not the only type of characters who are complex or compelling #2) at the same time; zac has actually played both non-asshole and asshole characters who are complex and compelling #3) you don't have to find all his characters deep or interesting but please stop using them to make assumptions about the real life actor

[liquidstar]

this is not a comprehensive list

#in order from left to right (with explanations): #k on #(self explanatory. definition of moe.) #a place further than the universe #(theyre at least a little insane for going all the way to antarctica for funsies) #bocchi the rock #(good mix of insane and sweet. most of the insane parts come from bocchi herself) #nichijou #(literally so much happened all the time) #and asobi asobase #(they did do arson) #i haven't seen azumanga daioh or yuru camp and i never finished lucky star #but based on what i know abt the first two id put it... azumanga between bocchi and nichijou. and yuru camp with or after k on #and from what i remember abt lucky star its also just after k on #a bit quirkier but nothing ever really happens in it. as far as i watched. which is why i stopped watching LOL #but thats all assumptions and second hand knowledge so i figured i shouldnt actually include them unless i was SURE #i also thought abt putting asteroid in love in here too but that one is a bit more niche so i left it out #i also excluded any idol shows bc that feels like a different category. and would make this too long #sorry zombieland saga and love live.... #i also excluded straight up yuri. this is more abt Hanging Out than romance. but some is allowed as long as its not the focal point #like kita in btr. shes very yuri but the show isnt about that #you could probably also put is the order a rabbit on here but idr much from that. i think i watched like 3 episodes umm 100 years ago #i also thought abt putting the highschool girls segments from daily lives of highschool boys here. but they arent in most of the show #tho theyd probably go between nichijou and asobi asobase. or maybe on par w nichijou #that one girl did almost kill the other two with a rock as im sure youve all seen

[thronealigned]

no it's fine this mind flayer is totally my friend and 100% honest with me all the time it's ok it likes me everything's so normal

#bg3 spoilers #baldurs gate 3 #baldur's gate 3 #i love how raphael directly calls you out on this. 'if id have known you were so gullible i wouldve tricked you into selling your soul for #a bowl of beans when we first met' #and then just keeps insulting you more if you keep insisting emp's really your ally #oc: impulse #sure this'll go in their tag #everything about impulse's Thing with the emperor is so funny to me. and then deeply fucked up if you think about it long enough. and then #really funny again if you think about it even longer #one day i'll do their 2.0 playthrough so i can fully form all my thoughts. and get better screenshots and the ceremorphosis ending #i mean there's nothing stopping me from loading an impulse 1.0 save and going ceremorphosis from there but idk it'd feel wrong #impulse has more tadpoles in their brain than synapses by act 3 and it does really fundamentally change them as a person #tfw your chaotic neutral act-first-ask-questions-never no-impulse-control 17 CHA bestie becomes one of the most detached calculating people #you've ever met. all their old casual wit and humor is still there but they think before they speak now and that really shouldnt feel as #sinister as it does. they have this look in their eye and it feels like they view everyone around them as lesser beings #not because they view other people as subhuman or worse than they are but because they view themself as something *more* #if they have any raw unfiltered emotion left you haven't seen it in weeks. there's one person(?) who gets Unrestrained Feelings privileges #and it's the fucking illithid that lives in their mind and not any of their actual non-monster normal-ish-person friends. that human #connection is fading so fast now. when did they change so much? it happened so slowly in the moment but suddenly now they seem like they #were never the person you became friends with at all #and like impulse is a pretty selfish person from the start but they *did* genuinely like and care about the rest of the party. they were #friends. and by the end of act 3 that friendship should be the deepest and most meaningful it's ever been. but. it just isn't. #so on and so forth etc etc like that. All That Bullshit makes their relationship with lae'zel so interesting (and upsetting) too #they encourage her to side against vlaakith and then they never even try to free orpheus for her and her people's sake. they never even #think about it. they never consider it as an option. they just don't care. and then they EAT HIS BRAIN. #very possibly RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER. #and she's just left adrift. a rebel with no rebellion to lead and very little hope #i'm unwell. #ok i'm done this is a silly meme post. but god i have so many thoughts i have barely been keeping contained

[songofwizardry]

ok I'm not an expert but I'm not seeing much specific info going around here, and there's a lotta Palestine solidarity protests in the UK this weekend, so here is some (including UK-specific) protest info and resources (mostly pulled whole-cloth from Twitter)

policing is heavy at Palestine protests generally

Hamas is a proscribed org under UK law. that means "inviting support" for them or "wearing clothing or displaying articles" that implies you are a supporter is a criminal offence (if you're interested, here's the full list of criminal offences from gov.uk). Palestinian flags etc are ok*, but do not have something that could be mistaken for Hamas imagery. don't go out there looking for convictions pls.

*in spite of what Suella Braverman has implied, the London Muslim Community Forum has just confirmed that the Palestinian flag is not a proscribed flag and is not banned (apologies for quoting the "we advise the met police" group but I thought it was important to have that info explicitly)

don't talk to cops. that includes the police liasion officers in blue bibs.

particularly if you're concerned about your face ending up on social media etc, but also just good practice in general (both in terms of COVID and protest safety)—mask up. cover up tattoos etc.

have bustcards or contact details for protest legal support on you. Green and Black Cross can be contacted on 07946 541 511. write the number on your arm etc.

if you witness an arrest: check if there's a legal observer nearby and if so call them over; if not: if the arrestee doesn't have a bustcard, give them one, find out where they're being taken, and contact eg GBC or a protest support line

if you have the time and can help out, there will likely be arrestee support required after—GBC tend to post callouts on Twitter for this

other links

for particularly children and young people and their families being referred to PREVENT for pro-Palestine statements, contact PREVENTWatch and maybe also Palestine in School (newer initiative I think, I don't have an excessive amount of detail on them just FYI)

Liberty, Migrants Organise and Black Protest Legal Support have bustcards in different languages, including Arabic and Somali (also Liberty's website has lotsa useful info, including advice for disabled protesters, protesting and immigration status, and what to do if you're kettled)

GBC's thread on what to do if you see an arrest is useful, as are all their resources generally

if I've missed anything or made a mistake, lmk—as I said, I am very much not an expert. if you know people who are protesting, pass them the legal support line numbers; if you're attending, stay safe and be vigilant; and ofc carry water.

#palestine #current events #organising #acab #text post #my post #if there is a better post that i haven't seen with up to date uk info pls lmk and i will gladly reblog it #but i know there's ppl on here who aren't on twitter so #also #in my experience #palestine protests both bring out a large group of ppl who maybe have not been to as many 'spiky' protests or don't have #up to date support numbers etc #and bring out people who are targeted by the police bc of race immigration status being perceived as muslim etc #and like i do think the profile of protest safety is higher and people are more aware than they were in general in say 2019 #but i still don't think it's as high as it should be #so like #it's worth sharing and passing around #but again i am so much not an expert #this is all taken from people whose jobs is supporting folks who are protesting #please go look them up read their info share their bustcards etc #know your rights #don't talk to cops #no comment no caution no personal details etc

[zarla-s]

I was cleaning up some broken links on my old silly Pokemon fansite, the Neglected Pokemon Lovers Unite (NPLU), and I realized that it has now been open for 25 years. TWENTY. FIVE. YEARS. That is an ASTONISHING amount of time for a site to stay open! Even if the last substantial update was like back in 2009 lol. The world around it has changed so much, but I think it's still valuable as a time capsule of a certain time on the internet. I wrote up a new essay about it on the site and did some general clean-up here and there.

Anyway to that end, since so much of the fic and art there is so old, I decided to compare Radic's oldest form to his newest! Radic was always a human boy but I just couldn't draw humans at the time so I made him a furry lol. Eventually I figured it out.

I also thought it'd be a neat challenge to mimic my own style back when it was really wonky and bad. And it was! It was kind of fun actually. I don't have too many shots of Radic from back then (it was hard to get art on the internet in the late 90's-early 00's), but I do have a few - hugging Kitsune, two old kiribans if you want to compare. I had a lot more old shots of Parasects though to reference unsurprisingly, they were very triangular lol. I think I did a pretty good job of matching what my art used to look like. I had a clear see-through Gameboy back in the day if you can't tell what Radic is holding lol.

("Isn't Radic the faceless avatar of your gamer self as depicted in Handplates-" yes, but Pokemon!Radic is the only one that actually became his own character, all the rest are shells)

If you do go poking around the NPLU, please keep in mind that almost everything there is very old and most of the fic and art is pretty bad (and shockingly violent). Plz do not judge me! My younger self was a cringey weeb but she was trying very hard. :<

[patreon]

#pokemon #z art #radic #callima #parasect #man i haven't drawn a parasect in ages i forgot how fun it is #my crabshroom babies #i always get tempted to just delete all the links to my old art but people always tell me not to #they like seeing it?? which always baffles me but i'm trying to accept that there's something worthwhile about them lol #radic is blind so he's not using the switch he's just holding it #maybe for red? idk #there was this odd stretch where i was using dot eyes #then switched to big anime eyes #then smaller anime eyes #then back to dots again #time is a circle... #i also used to use ^_^ CONSTANTLY #thus the ^_^ by old radic there #i've seen a lot of old web trends get revived but not hit awards/kiribans #for some reason #hit counters sure webring sure affiliates sure awards and adoptables sure #but celebratory things for reaching a hit marker? haven't seen a lot of those lately

[azurityarts]

just a random silly interaction

#pokemon #pkmn #art #doodle #pokemon mystery dungeon #pmd #zoroark #purrloin #pokemon oc #pmd ocs #pmd&d #faux zorua #vex purrloin #i brought this up before but i have 4 non-game pmd ocs and all of them are dark-type lol #also i haven't drawn him in a hot minute so i don't think some people have seen faux lmao #anyways i cannot draw scale well when it comes to pokemon #i just try to draw whatever looks. somewhat right LOL #i'd also try to think of wittier dialogue but it's 2 am so maybe not pfft

[its-a-me-mango]

Can you guess how many fan child of smg34 being created in tik tok and tumblr?

There's like thousands of them-

(Man 3 and 4 are getting very busy lately in the igloo-)

I love SMG34 fan kids I think they're great, I do think they're all bestowed upon them through some kind of divine intervention though because you know they wouldn't stand for carrying a child, they'd abort that thing immediately.

#mangos mystery ask box #sorry. abort that thing immediately is such a verbal stim to me i can;t stop saying it. on my mind always #I haven't seen all of them but I do genuinly love all the ones i've seen they're all so creative :3

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

I saw @qourmet's young madam lan art, and knew what I had to do.

#better drawn mdzs #mdzs #lan furen #horse #we need to name her horse IMMEDIATELY #Qingheng-Jun #She is stunning and beautiful and the design has me in a death grip #AND she's a horse girl? It was not even and option to not draw her. #Lan wangji has to get his biting and tearing and killing genes from somewhere. #Its maternal. He inherited the hunting instinct from his mother and an attraction to people who do crimes from his father #btw if yall haven't seen them; All of qourmet's prev generation designs are *so* good. I have genuinely gotten brainrot over CSSR and WCZ. #On every god that exists I WILL find a way to have them show up in the pd-mdzs comic canon. I've already scripted the comics. Its happening #Also it's been too long since I drew an equine. Why are there not *more* equines in MDZS. This is why I had to make the equineswap au. #I''m still not sure how a horse works. but I'm getting there. #Slowly I am creeping towards the necessary skill set I need to draw Qiyan Agula. #JQWS audio drama....I am gazing at you so fondly. I will return to you with power and strength (better comic skills to draw you) #we are a long way away but...that's the dream project.

[lorephobic]

literally nobody asked for it, but here's my list of saltburn essays that i've slowly been drafting over the course of the last week which WILL be required reading for anybody trying to engage with me about this movie. my very personal saltburn 101 syllabus just dropped

A Wolf in Deer's Clothing: Saltburn's Attempt at Innocence

an examination of party costumes and our character's last attempts to masquerade as something they're not: felix—an angel, all-forgiving and all-knowing, something to be worshiped; and oliver—a prey animal, prey to class-divide, prey to saltburn, prey to felix.

thoughts about oliver specifically are loosely organized in my #bambi tag

A Midsummer Night's Mare: Farleigh Start as the Ultimate Victim of Saltburn

a farleigh character study, about the ways he was mistreated and manipulated at saltburn, about fighting to stay alive and the scars left behind by knowing when to give in

alternatively titled "QuickStart", may be adapted into a conclusive essay specifically focusing on oliver and farleigh's relationship

The Eye of the Beholder: On Saltburn's Voyeurism & Violence [working title]

how wealth and class pushes the catton's toward the volatile reality of being able to look, but not touch. on desire and the lack thereof, and portraying yourself as an object to be desired

may end up as two separate essays on wealth and aestheticism but i'm pushing toward a conclusive essay about the intersection of the two, which i feel is at the heart of saltburn

alternatively titled "Poor Man's Pudding: A Melvillian Approach to Saltburn's Class", again, may be adapted into it's own essay

Gender-Fluid: A Study in Sexuality and Saltburn's Desire to be Dry

a deep dive into the bodily fluids of saltburn and how oliver upsets the standard of men who are just so lovely and dry. on the creative choice to lean into the messy wetness of sex and desire and the audience's instinct toward repulsion

a celebration of the grotesque and an examination of why we would label it as such

least developed of the four, heavily inspired by @charnelpit's lovely post about the fluids in saltburn

if anybody is actually interested in any of these, i can work toward something closer to a finished piece instead of just bullet points and quotes in a google doc, but mostly this is so i can share my very brief takes on a multitude of themes in saltburn that have been haunting me

edit for people seeing this in the future: all posts about my essays are being organized into my #saltburn 101 tag if you’re interested in following these through to development!

#saltburn #saltburn posting #really desperately need someone to pay me to write saltburn essays all day #or else these will never be more than a smattering of bullet points #and these are only the most developed of the millions of the thoughts that i've had rolling around in my brain this last week #idk if lengthy meta-essays are interesting to literally anyone other than me #but if any of these speak to u and u have thoughts abt them #of course u are welcome to send them my way #i think all of these were born out of either seeing bad fandom takes (ie. everything ive seen about farleigh and oliver) #or rly good fandom takes that haven't been talked about enough like the fluids thing #anyway #oh also if u want any interview clips that back up any of these ideas i have a list thats like a million miles long #and would be happy to dig for any specific things im talking about here #bambi #also also im sorry i kno the colon in academic essay titles is so overused i just love a subtitle sm #i love love love a clever little essay title. titling my essays was literally my favorite part of the essay process in college #saltburn 101

[forgetful-river]

Someone needs to hire me to design couture fashion, I have no credentials but I'm spunky and have a bitchy attitude :)

#the shoes are chunky. I did not want to draw them but they are Chunky #All I have been able to draw are angels and Damara for DAYS!!! She has taken up residence in my brain #I haven't even seen the devil wears prada I'm not ready to work in the fashion industry but a bitch can dream #damara megido #hs #homestuck #my art