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friendlymathematician · 9 months

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Genuine question: How do you overcome the feeling/idea that you're inherently bad at STEM because you're a woman?

OK so i grew up with an older brother (older by 1 year) and my mom always pushed him to do better at maths & physics especially because he showed interest in computer science, when it came to me she'd always say "oh dont bother with that, your brother is better at that stuff" " that stuff is too hard just pick something easy"... even though i got better grades than him, and she always encouraged him to perform better in school because she 100% believed he could amount to smth great, whereas she'd just say "well this is just what you're capable of" whnever i got a bad grade. She literally would say "you just don't have the brains for it"

I don't resent my brother, he always pushed me to do better and get better grades, he encouraged me to pick the hardest like "field" during high school. My dad would always nurture my love of physics and science in general, and he would say "i dont want you to be limited, just work hard".

But the way my mom treated me still affected me i think, sometimes i find myself still genuinely believing men are better than me just because theyre men.

I figured you could give some advice since youre in STEM yourself ?

oh, this is difficult. i have similar stories, although a different family dynamic. in my case, i was told (by my mother) that i was only good at things because i worked hard, while my brother was simply naturally good at them. now, you could argue this is a good thing (growth mindset and so on), but there are two issues that arise. first, most stem fields have some level of a genius cult. being effortlessly good at them is what you're supposed to do, while working hard is not enough unless you have the genius too. this is especially pronounced in maths/physics/computer science. second, the "you're only good at it because you work hard" hits very different when you're not actually working hard.

i think it can be partly ameliorated by surrounding yourself with women (take classes with female instructors, look for active "women in x" groups and activities, make an effort to be friends with other women who also like stem). another thing that helps is to be able to point at actual accomplishments when the doubt creeps in. these can be either from your education (yes, you did do really well in that analysis class) or informal accomplishments (from working with your field as a hobby).

i do think a lot of the advantage males have in stem classes is that they're encouraged to obtain these informal accomplishments already as teenagers, which both give them some knowledge and experience you can't get from formal instruction and give them personal "wins" to point to when things get difficult. so pick up amateur radio, or try your hand at building an app, or solve project euler problems, or see how many different kinds of frog species you can find. there's this pop-psych idea that you build confidence in the abstract and then accomplishments follow, but i'm entirely convinced it's the other way around. confidence comes from doing things. spending 20 hours trying to figure out how to set up a pi-hole in your apartment (even if 18 of those hours are spent doing it wrong) builds a lot more confidence in your abilities with computers than spending 20 hours trying to convince yourself that you're just as capable as a man.

anyone else want to chime in with tips for anon?

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bitwynn · 2 years

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weird kind-of-kind-of-not sagau fic idea that i might make myself LOL

isekaied reader/guide introduces them to Among Us. Specifically to the Mondstat Vision Holders. Everyone goes fUCKING FERAL for the duration of the game-- maybe even AFTER the game AHAHAHA

and like-- god im just imagining this specific scenario where you recreate the amongus maps in ur teapot so you guys could play irl and albedo or tubby develops a teapot leisure device specifically for it so you guys could ACTUALLY FOR REAL PLAY AMONG US IRL IN THE TEAPOT

everyones wearing the suits and they got the tablets with the report button and emergency meeting buttons and everything, and albedo figures out how to stream it to the rest of Teyvat-- with everyones different povs and things and everyones just rooting for everyone and ISERHLgFSLERHJkG

okay wow-- i got sO OFF WHAT I ORIGINALLY WANTED TO SAY AHAHAH but hey at least i set some ground rules first AHAHA

but yeah. so, imagine this--

this game of among us is composed of the knights and also Venti. So thats Diluc, Kaeya, Jean, Amber, Lisa, Albedo, Sucrose, Eula, Noelle, and of course Venti. The map here in this scenario is irrelevant but, I do have to say that the "additional roles" of Scientist, Engineer, Shapeshifter, and Guardian Angel have also been added and are all implemented into this game.

the first round? rotation? whatever you call it is actually pretty eventful with Albedo, Noelle and Venti already dead. Its actually really alarming since even if its just a game, Albedo actually takes this game REALLY SERIOUSLY and shows off his skill as the captain of the investigation team. hes the actually legit detective player-- one of his greatest plays actually being how he immediately figured out who the imps are bEFORE the game even started and bEFORE ANYONE DIED. The imps that game were very annoyed (playful) to say the least.

Noelle getting got is also like-- really serious since, as everyone knows, shes very helpful. a little too helpful. when she fully trusts someone, she will do everything she can to keep them alive and safe. and if that someone is sus abt someone, she is determined to help them figure out whether or not that person is an impostor or not. ultimate crewmate basically. one of her more "scary" plays is when she unwittingly became third impostor and LITERALLY BROUGHT EVERYONE TO THEIR DEATHS. THATS HOW HELPFUL SHE IS. god she felt SO BAD afterwards but it was a good name nonetheless.

The imps killing Venti off early meant that they werent playing around anymore, because that man has the GREATEST SOUL READ OUT OF EVERYONE. helps that hes also god but we dont talk abt that and also he cant use his archon powers to cheat LOLLL. One of his most memorable moments is how before they even started the game, he cORRECTLY PREDICTED WHO THE IMPS WOULD BE THAT ROUND. when the imps received their roles, they were definitely a bit more than shocked. in that same game, he just voted the two imps to break the tie for shit and giggles. and thats how they won the game. crack energy was strong in that one LOL.

The fear and distrust is rampant the whole discussion time, with Amber and Sucrose lowkey and highkey respectively panicking, Eula making hasty assumptions, Lisa challenging those assumptions, Diluc and Kaeya at each others throats, and Jean trying and failing to get things under control. They did nOT get anywhere during that and all begrudgingly voted to skip despite being at everyones throats. everyones suspecting everyone and the only people there who are FOR SURE innocents are Amber or Sucrose.

this is because, while they both may be lousy at being imps, they still act mostly the same both as imps and crews-- aka trying their best to be helpful and win. they're both usually kinda bad at lying. not that theyre bad, its just that theyre not good and you can usually tell if theyre truthing or not by the amount of information they provide and how eager and confident they are abt it. using that knowledge, they all simultaneously agree to shadow those two everywhere since they can tell that yes, they are crewmates, yes amber did watch sucrose fumble the id card 15 times because she keeps dropping it or doing it too fast or slow, yes sucrose did the vials first before walking around the map a bit to find her next task.

so thats what happens-- they split up into group amber and sucrose and go on opposite sides of the map. and then the sabotage happens. the lights die. the amber group, consisting of, of course, amber, jean and diluc, is closer and they rush to lights where team sucrose hadnt reached yet. they all pile up into a group and pull up the lights interface. and as they set it down, theyre immediately greeted by eula reporting a dead body and amber screaming.

after jean manages to get everyone down to a respectable volume, she asks for everyone to give their testimony since she had the interface up. amber nervously says that since there were so many people at lights already, she decided to not fix it but instead watch out for any impostors that might make a move. but when she saw the blood splatter, she couldnt see who did it clearly since they were at the edge of her visibility which is when she immediately rushed forward and spammed the report button.

eula backs her up and them immediately accuses lisa of killing sucrose, off the bar that the second the lights went off she had lagged behind. lisa is greatly offended, talking about how shes targeting her since the first round with no solid basis and eula strikes back with her saying something that lisa did in the first round that made her look sus. and then diluc and kaeya start rilling it up by backing the side that they were with the most, diluc backing lisa and kaeya backing eula even if they only saw the other in passing. it gets real petty REAL fast. literally the only reason diluc is backing lisa is because while jean is trying her best to be fair, she obviously favors lisa a bit more while kaeya siding with eula is more reasonable because they actually spent time together.

it ends with amber tying the votes since despite trusting jeans judgement, all eula had done was back her up and let her voice be heard in the two times theyve had discussions and proven herself to be innocent-- lisa got voted out by kaeya and eula and amber, and eula got voted out by jean and diluc and lisa. the second their screens fade back to the table they all realize that theres gonna be no rounds left since they havent figured out who one of the imps are and theres only six of them left. all it takes is for them to kill two and its over.

they all decide to separate and spread themselves as far as they can throughout the ship to get their tasks done as fast as they can. and as amber and jean start to walk out of medbay and are greeted by kaeya and diluc suddenly appearing in the back of the room, they know that the brothers have won.

everyone is screaming when the impostor win screen pops up, featuring diluc and kaeyas beans. literally NOONE expected them to win, considering the fact that they have been at each others throats the whole time both ingame and irl. fucking NOONE expected them to just-- quietly team up to MASSACRE the entire ship. because really-- who WOULD expect it??

their entire among us game history is just them bickering with each other, it gets like-- really kind of emotional and concerning sometimes-- theyve gotten banned from playing multiple times since the whole "being an impostor" thing has very similar connotations with being a spy from another country and we aLL KNOW HOW THAT WENTTTT

the synergy between the two-- ugh--

eula is just mad she accidentally became the third impostor. AGAIN.

oh yeah, kaeya was the shapeshifter. the first kill in the first round was a double kill with venti and noelle. diluc vented out of the scene but popped up in a room where albedo was but his cooldown was still going so he just did his best to try and herd him away from the button and hope that he runs into kaeya. and fortunately kaeya does run into them, and a bit of hope blooms in albedos heart which was then promptly crushed by kaeya murdering his ass. he then watches as he turns into venti and they both leave the scene. from the second he knew they were working together, he knew they were screwed. but he does respect using the quiet expectation that they would never get along to their advantage.

the bickering did have some actual heat behind it though since diluc obviously almost fucked them in the ass when he vented infront of bedo AHAHA

#foejihurlksjdfnkjighjsfd just ragbros wORKING TOGETHER IAEOUHSDJFKEHJSDF #genshin #genshin impact #genshin impact au #genshin impact sagau #genshin sagau #genshin impact self aware #genshin self aware #sagau #diluc #diluc ragnvindr #kaeya #kaeya alberich #among us #feel free to continue or add on lollll #but if u do pls credit AHAH

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lariyats · 3 months

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something something my haikaveh pokemon au

the NOTES. for people who don’t have much knowledge of pokemon.

if you have NOT been linked here from the fic, the fic is here.

KAVEH’S TEAM

Pidgeot, Reuniclus, Mehrak (Porygon2)

ALHAITHAM’S TEAM

Braviary (Hisuian), Metagross, Pichu

they each have a big bird, a stage 2 psychic type and a baby (mehrak is a baby) bc they’re cringe and matchy matchy mirrors of each other. etc.

i forgor the brush i was using so that’s why they look different oops sawry

FAQ (but not really)

Q: why does alhaitham have a metagross?

A: ‘i’m just a feeble scholar’ headass. i wrote that not many ppl know he has one but after the coup this changes and everyone finds out. they both hate it

Q: mehrak porygon and not rotom?

A: yes. bc someone has to be! ancient artificial pkmn thats been a little bugged out from age etc. i think its funnier like this too (running joke)

+relationship chart if anyone's curious. ignore that its in the notes app i wrote it while i was on vacation.

protip: birds were picked on vibes (pokedex entries), psychic types on vibes but also how they can help with their day jobs (actually only kaveh) and their babies on both vibes and helpfulness (you can probably guess who). check the dex entries for more information. what can i say.

reshiram is the dragon of truth + zekrom is the dragon of ideals - why theyre paired with haitham and kaveh respectively should be self explanatory. i think.

not mentioned, but the other competitors teams.

in this au, the structure of the competition rounds is the same as canon, but they can also pick one pokemon partner to help them each round. battling is prohibited except for in the final round, where some is allowed for purposes of gaining the diadem. kaveh picked mehrak in all three rounds.

- faruzan and golurk

- layla and abra

- tighnari and breloom

& of course, wanderer and silvally, cyno and lucario, and nahida and shaymin! nahida also takes care of a 1% zygarde (a little squishy guy)

ENDING SCENE COMMENTARY

in my idea of hvkh. hthm is kind of a ‘and then i’ll keep these feelings inside until i die’ kind of guy but also not really. he knows he’s in love but he doesn’t want to say it out loud bc he also knows that saying it when kaveh isn’t ready for it could end badly.

so what he does is show it in other ways. he bickers like usual. he goes to pick him up from the tavern and pay his bill and take him home, take off his makeup and his accessories etc. making little accomodations for him that he wouldn’t for anyone else. that’s the kind of love that he shows.

kvh on the other hand is the …. hmmge…. dunno how to word it properly but the ‘if i let myself be loved then i let myself be known.’ kind of guy. or something. it’s not that he doesn’t return hthm’s feelings! or even not know what it means! but he doesn’t want to accept them for what they actually are bc… if he does, then it also means confronting the fact that someone actually Cares about him [jawdrop.jpg]. and that person is like. the most annoying person you have ever known but also like the only person who perfectly matches you beat for beat and makes you Feel. feelings. horrendous.

so bc of that i did Not actually choose to put in words the big L word . Yes they do Confess, but in the theme of things, it’s more Actions speak louder than Words. it is also more wow. both me and alhaitham would probably break out in hives if he straight up said it like that. i would much rather let the two of them be the ‘act’ and the ‘react’.

i also think that kaveh is someone who loves romantic gestures and even though what happened was romantic (kind of) lots of things happened that made it also. really weird. so while its p much acceptance of feelings he also wants to have a chance to properly convey things and have a heartfelt romantic dramatic speech etc. after he's prepared. that's the proper answer part.

it’s a tale of two idiots who both have acts of service as their giving love language but the extent to which their receiving (acts of service) differs. bc kaveh probably has receiving (words of affirmation) and haithams is. idk. receiving (knowing that the person he loves knows he is loved and that he is taking care of himself and knows his own worth). bc as cute as physical affection hc is it do think that it’s not really something he absolutely needs or wants. whoa i am rambling ok ill stop myself there for now. whew.

#yatsu writes #equilibrium resonance #pokemon au #genshin #kaveh #alhaitham #haikavetham

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masonsystem · 1 month

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phoenix wright pondering ho hum ho hum ho hum

ok im awake still sleepy but awake but yes after thinking it over, what makes phoenix particularly interesting to me are 2 things: hes a spriteless VN character + me and him arent on the same page when it comes to plot info.

so firstly visual novels arent a genre i engage with often, really my only other frame of reference is a sdr2 walkthrough i watched like 9 years ago (and ddlc but ddlc is a blank slate protag so im not counting that) but yeah VN player characters is smth thats very unfamiliar to me, its very interesting to not have a sprite of my character that will give me extra information abt their emotional state, instead the only thing i really have to go off of is the text the game provides me. its also interesting how VNs challenges the notion of what a video game is, bc the gap between player and character in a VN's player character feels very stark as my protag is very much their own character outside of my influence, and although my control over them is minimal compared to other vg genres, this is still undoubtedly a video game. ive taken to thinking of me and wright as me being remy ratatouille and wright being a piece of shit chef who keeps trying to do his own thing. so yeah interesting stuff, but yet i still feel like theres a pretty big difference between sdr2's hinata and aa's wright, in regards to their characterization. and i think this difference is borne from the fact that unlike hinata and most other video games ive played, im not actually on the same page as wright when it comes to plot info.

what that means is that like, usually in video games, developers will want the player and their player characters to have the same amount of knowledge, which is why foreign/amnesic protags are so common. this way world-building exposition can be more natural, as there'll be a reason now for characters to divulge in the history of their world (to let our clueless little protag to know whats up), and players will feel more in sync with the character theyre playing as, overall everything will feel more immersive.

but ace attorney doesnt do this.. also omg im way too sleepy to word this properly so its bullet point time

- in aa1 phoenix knew abt his history with edgeworth (duh) yet despite playing as phoenix we the player are kept in the dark about it until the fourth case

- (which honestly makes case 2 pretty fucking crazy like 1st time meeting maya + mia's death + phoenix's reunion with edgeworth but players wont understand the significance of any of this until way later)

- likewise in aa2 phoenix knows the context of edgeworth's disappearance (that damn note) but we the players are kept in the dark abt it until the third case and we're only given small hints towards his fate + phoenix's abysmal grieving process

- interestingly enough, the players are represented by maya in both instances. meaning maya is like us, in that we both arent aware of phoenix's backstory + that damn note, and when we do learn abt these two pieces of info, its bc phoenix is telling this to maya. and so in a way we are learning all this thru her. very very interesting considering we do not control maya

- and i mentioned this in my big post gushing abt 2-4 but not only is this an interesting writing method, but it also helps to illustrate how phoenix is a character who deeply represses various emotions. he is fucked!

- but yeah its super interesting. and also like ill need to finish aa3 to properly look at this trilogy but i really wonder how like the "overarching narratives" of these games are designed and what phoenix's function in each of them are like this is my first time i think ever experiencing this style of writing in a video game, where a protagonist knows more than i do.

- cuz like yes ive played games where protags have a backstory thats only shown much later but like.. say with like portal, chell's backstory is there to just basically explain her motives. basically theres a difference between "a protag's backstory serves to recontextualize their behavior" vs "uncovering a protag's backstory Is the plot", and phoenix falls under the latter. all while me the player am not on the same page as him the character like ITS ALL VERY INTERESTINGGGGGG.... after i finish aa3 or maybe even more aa games id like to compare aa's style of writing to ghost trick

#aa lb

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psiimaid · 9 months

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OH i have a question for you so do you think that the alpha trolls' classpects are relevant to the ancestors or do you think it doesnt matter cuz theyre different people? Like i cant see the disciple being all that much of a mage of heart. But it does explain condys powers and all the signless stuff and it would be more consistent with how homestuck usually works.

disclaimer i don't know a lot abt classpects but YES i think they are. and i see di as just as mage of heart-y as meulin? like again i don't know a lot abt classpects but di def suffered for who she was and lost her family and purpose but also mages deal with information right could that be like her transcribing the signless' words?

okay so yeah condesce and signless are probably mosr obviously linked to their pre-scratch classpects. i don't know where else to put this but darkleer also had the dark spot/natural void cloaking trait as like a lataent ability or whatever which is just aspect no class but there isn't much else to say abt him so here's his sentence.

but there's this interesting thing in the ancestor exposition where the ancestors are described w their descendants' classes. handMAID, the psiioniic is called a mage, redglare a seer (by mindfang), i'll get to mindfang in a sec, and witch is often used to describe the condesce

sorry this is so janky hoppiung from one ide a to another but. okay so the alpha trolls just failed right. they were a massive flopp. like there was no way they could have won anyway bc there was a glitch (they were made in the post-scratch iteration of the univese by karkat so technically they can't exist without him so the scratch was destiened to happen yadda yadda) but also they failed in other ways and when they made the deal w echidna they were promised success in the next universe.

doc scratch is the one in charge of facilitating the conditions of the world to ensure that success. LE is also invested bc the trolls winning the game has to happen to ensure his creation. you might be thinking well handmaid was too and yeah she was but doc scratch was the weapon of precision and subtlety.

so if the alpha trolls are now no longer in the runnign for game victory, it's aaaall abt the beta trolls now. you don't need a "sylph of light" 🤪 anymore. you need a thief. i think this is the most obvious example bc doc scratch was so involved in mindfang's life and helped her to get to where she was as a pirate, literally embodying the life and role of a thief 👍 and then she served as the role model for vriska who tried to be juuust like her

so handmaid was obviously made by doc scratch to serve (the lord of her aspect), the helmsman played out the role of of an heir of doom actually i think. it just wasn't all that important, disciple literally became a rogue, i literally don't understand the page where mindfang calls redglare a seer sorry, actually maybe the re is more to say abt darkleer but it's just speculation (isn't this all speculation) (anyways i think mindfang killed him and used his body for its void properties "becoming" his aspect like an heir or something i don't actually know)

there's not much in the way of classpect for summoner (could make arguments for both rogue and page), dolorosa, and dualscar in canon or at least not much that's worth pointing out

uh,m yeah sorry that was so disjointed but tl;dr yes i think that the ancestors share their pre-scratch counterparts' classpects but i also think doc scratch muddied it for some of them where it was important. which is why you have midnfang who is not very sylph-like but also signless bc it was important that he remember his past life as a seer and still be a seer to incorporate all that knowledge into his current one

#anon

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quodekash · 1 year

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OUR SKYY 2 IS HERE ITS FINALLY HERE THIS IS NOT A DRILL

first lemme make myself an ice tea and then we’ll get into the ridiculous commentary (which will probably be entirely keysmashes but anyway)

fingers crossed for something benchopper

also i find it rly interesting that the series i finished with when going through all the our skyy shows is the one that theyre start with

also also idk anything about the order for our skyy but i do know that there’s no way bad buddy isnt the final one

ICE TEA HAS NOW BEEN ACQUIRED, NOW WE SHALL COMMENCE THE COMMENTARY (that a lot of you seem to like, why do you like my commentary)

literally shaking what the hell

STOP IM GONNA CRY, HE HAS HIM AS HIS LOCK SCREEN????

WE’RE LITERALLY LIKE TEN SECONDS IN AND IM ALREADY FILLED WITH TEARS

IM SORRY, IT’S BEEN THREE FREAKING YEARS??? WHY WERE WE NOT AWARE OF THIS INFORMATION

ok so judging from the intro, it’s nlmg first, and then simm, then THE ECLIPSE MY BOYS AAAAAA, AND THEN VICE VERSA, AND THEN MSP HEGUERIHBGKREJB, im literally vibrating with excitement rn help, and then abaab, AND THEN BAD BUDDY GERJHBGUKREJBKGURBJ, AND THEN 1000STARS

ITS LITERALLY HAPPENING IN FRONT OF MY EYES RN AND I STILL CANT BELIEVE THIS IS REAL

HOLY BAJOOLIES

HE HAPPY

HE;S SO FREAKING EXCITED TO SEE HIM

NO STOP IM GONNA CRY AGAIN

palms hair is so freaking pretty what the hell

i sense a sponsorship

palm is so happy to see him and he’s trying to be sweet but nueng is moody and i guess i get why but also pls just be happy to see him again

okay they are happy now yayyy

yup i was right theyre sponsored by suzuki thats kind of hilarious

damn, two sponsorships within like ten minutes of each other, they really went all out

CRYING AGAIN, THAT’S PERFECT

well that guy was confusing. ‘you guys are soulmates and youre fate but also you cant be together but you will be but you wont’

HOW DARE YOU INTERRUPT THEM, NUENG WAS ABOUT TO SAY HE’S DECIDED TO STAY IN BANGKOK AND FINISH HIS STUDIES THERE RATHER THAN OVERSEAS

bRO HAS A SWORD?? I WANT A SWORD

also like oh shoot they might be about to die

but also just imagine walking around every day with a sword

the power

id never like actually hurt anyone with it and id probably rarely take it out of the sheath

but seriously. sword. its so cool.

not cool that theyre probably about to hurt nuengpalm and probably that poor woman

holding hands and running for their lives, absolutely nothing new here

heh i paused it at a funny moment

he’s such a good bodyguard/protector/boyfriend/whatever ghrjgbhr

ill show you what happens to heroes. they wake up in historical clothing.

why are the roles suddenly reversed

and why is palm the only one with knowledge of the present time and the only one without a clue about whats going on in this au version of events

DAM OKAY THAT WAS QUICK

see, at first i was pretty sure he was faking it cos it didnt make sense that only palm was aware of the present, surely it would be both of them, but then he confused me, but its fine cos he remembers him YAY

IM SORRY, LITERALLY ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT IS THAT ONE TIME IN BBC MERLIN WHERE MERLIN GAVE ARTHUR AN ORDER

ALSO PALM IS LITERALLY JUST DOING WHAT NUENG DID AND ITS SO FUNNY

wait this entire thing is a complete repeat of the series just switched and historical

their first major interaction was being introduced via parent sending child to work for the other child

their second major interaction was at the pool, and in this version its by the lake

their third major interaction is the master making the servant eat with them because ‘theres too much food for me to eat by myself’ when really its just bc he wants to spend time with him

wait please let chopper and ben be in this historical version of life

phum is there

surely its plausible to think that benchopper could be there too

i freaking love these two

IM SORRY????? WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT

NOOOOOO I WAS WRONGGGG

NOOOO CONFLICT

its okay tho theyll iron out the conflict, its fine

see, they figured out the conflict

well that was wonderful but it is now 1am so i need to go to sleep

goodnight folks! im gonna spend the next 24 hours Thinking About Them

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anxiousgaypanicking · 7 months

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Mutual Masturbation

!a series of me uploading the kinktober fics/drabbles i made years ago because i didnt back in 2020 for some fuckin reason. if these are bad/poor quality its because theyre old, and ive improved since then :)!

Analogical (Virgil x Logan) Day 30: mutual masturbation Warnings: getting caught masturbating, handjobs

"Masturbating lowers stress and helps people relax," Logan had said, in a conversation with Remus and Patton where they were debating the importance of being sexual.

Virgil hadn't meant to eavesdrop, he just happened to be in the room when the conversation started, and he couldn't help listening in as Logan basically supported Remus's statement, which had initially been "I think sexual activities are good for people," mostly said in order to piss Patton off.

"It does this by releasing endorphins once you orgasm," Logan continued, sounding rather casual despite the fact the subject had made Virgil's cheeks go pink in embarrassment and Patton's face to fall as he realized he was loosing the argument. "Orgasms can also serve as a natural painkiller, and have even been documented to help ease menstrual cramps for some people."

"So, basically, I was right," Remus responded, arms being folded behind his head as he leaned back on the couch, smiling leisurely at Patton whose cheeks were flushed with anger. They're puffed out, almost the way a frog puffs out its chest, before he ended up standing up and walking away, a clear frown on his face.

And that whole conversation looped in Virgil's mind for the rest of the day.

Masturbating can relieve stress? Masturbating can calm him down?

This was all new information for him, and although he tried to repress that newfound knowledge, it kept resurfacing throughout the day, until finally he was alone in his room.

Shoulders tense and eyebrows creased, Virgil felt anxious and generally shitty, and yet Logan's words repeated in his mind.

"Masturbating lowers stress and helps people relax..."

Logan's smooth voice rings over and over in his mind, saying those damned words, and suddenly Virgil finds himself fixating on Logan.

Logan's hair, neatly combed back and out of his face, looking stoic and professional. The way he annunciated his words, making sure that what he was saying was clear and couldn't be misheard in anyway, and the way he sat; his legs down and hands rested on his lap when he was silent - he probably had the best posture out of all of them, with his shoulders back and relaxed as he sat up straight.

When he spoke his hands moved, aiding his words in proving his point, although a couple of the motions he made caused Remus to snort.

Virgil's touching himself before he even processes what's happening, and is suddenly drawn out of his thoughts as he lets out a moan.

Face flushed, he looks down, and sees his hand touching himself - rubbing his crotch through his pants. He's embarrassed that he was driven to do such a thing, and while thinking about Logan no less, but hey, if it relieved stress, Virgil wanted to try it.

He bites his lip as he debates whether or not he wanted to go through with this, but in a matter of moments he's kicking his skinny jeans off and tugging his boxers down too. He grabs some lube after a bit of digging in order to speed up the process, and then places a hesitant hand on his cock.

'It'll relieve stress and release endorphins,' he reminds himself, and he can make it quick enough that nothing bad or unexpected could potentially happen within the timeframe.

Up until something back does actually happen within that timeframe, as their comes a few sharp knocks on Virgil's door.

He wants to get up and answer it; he usually gets up and answers his door almost immediately, fueled by curiosity and sometimes a bit of anxiety over who may be on the other side, but instead he freezes up. He can't bring himself to say anything, words seemingly being caught in his throat, before a familiar one-tone voice goes "Virgil?"

Oh god, it was Logan.

Virgil's doorknob is twisting before he can find it in him to tell Logan to stop, and he internally has launched into panic mode. Why didn't he lock his doorknob? Sure, he didn't plan to masturbate tonight, but he should have at least considered the possibility!

He's drawn out of his panic as his door gently opens, revealing a confused Logan looking down at a book he was holding. He stares down at it for a minute, before he finally looks up and meets Virgil's eyes.

There's silence for a moment, as Logan takes in the scene before him; Virgil's face was dark red and his face displayed a shocked and embarrassed expression. As Logan's eyes traveled further, he saw Virgil's naked lower half, with his hand wrapped around his cock.

"Oh," Logan breathes out, seemingly freezing up on his own.

His little word seems to snap Virgil out of it, though, and he quickly grabs his comforter and tugs it up over himself, trying to repress the fact he found this hotter than he should.

"I'm so sorry!" he exclaims, hiding his face in his hands. Logan must think he's disgusting or perverted; why couldn't he have just said that he was busy? If only he had been able to say anything to keep Logan from walking in and discovering this.

He was going to tell the others, wasn't he? And they'd all make fun of him, and Patton would hate him, and-

"Hey, deep breaths," Logan says, as he takes a step back. "I can see you're getting worked up; I shouldn't have breached your privacy, especially since you didn't answer. I can leave."

Virgil feels utterly humiliated, and he's sure Logan must feel bad, so in a moment of sheer impulse fueled by the need to ease Logan's own embarrassment and anxiety, Virgil exclaims "wait! Don't go, please. I- um- I..."

He panics over what to say next, and curses himself for thinking that this would just be easy. How did Remus just say whatever was on his mind so effortlessly?

Sucking in a deep breath, Virgil sorts out his thoughts, before saying "I was listening in on your conversation earlier, and I decided to try it out, and right now I'm honestly feeling more anxious than relaxed and I kind of froze up when I heard you knocking, and I'm sorry that I-"

"Hush, Virgil," Logan says, taking a breath of his own before sighing. "I can't understand you when you ramble that fast."

Face flushing, Virgil tries to calm himself down, as he then states "I was thinking about you - about what you said, and about your voice. And your body." He feels humiliated that he's admitting this, but he feels compelled to say it. He's sure Logan would want to know if someone's masturbating to the thought of him.

Logan's silent for a moment, and Virgil's worried he may have said something that upset Logan, but then Logan's voice says "do you want my help?"

He's completely serious, and when Virgil's head shoots up to stare at Logan's face, he reads an expression of genuine curiosity. It's a legitimate offer, and one Virgil so desperately wants to both accept and decline.

Logan waits for his answer, eyes trained on Virgil's face, and after a moment, Virgil nods and says "yeah- yeah, I do. But not if you're busy! And not if you plan to tell anyone." He narrows his eyes, and while he doesn't really think Logan would do such a thing, it doesn't hurt to state his boundaries.

Logan nods though, and states "of course, and I'm not busy." He moves closer and eventually sits on the bed, before pulling the blanket down and once again exposing Virgil's cock. Virgil shifts semi-uncomfortably, and in an attempt to ease his worries, Logan inquires "would you feel more comfortable if I, too, was nude from the waist down?"

"Do you- are you comfortable with that?" Virgil asks, following it up with "and would you want me to get you off too?"

He's met with a shrug, and Logan stating "that depends on whether or not you want to. And yes, I see nothing wrong with nudity of any kind. I'm happy to do so if you believe it'd make the situation more relaxing for you."

There's probably nothing that could relax Virgil enough in this situation, but after a moment he sighs and says "I guess I'd feel more comfortable if you were half naked too." He laughs slightly as the reality of that statement sets in, before he sighs again and adds "and I guess I can help you get off. It's only fair."

And it's definitely not because Virgil kind of wants to touch Logan's cock, although he'd never admit that.

He does stare adamantly, however, as Logan easily tugs down his jeans and boxers, having no hesitation in doing either, and then sitting with his knees apart on the bed. Virgil looks away when Logan looks back at him, but then Logan's scooting forward.

"Do I have your consent to touch you?" he asks, and Virgil clears his throat, before saying "yeah- you do. What about me? Do I have your consent?"

Logan nods and confirms it all the same, before his hand is reaching for Virgil's cock. Virgil's tense as Logan's hand wraps around it, but as soon as Logan's hand starts moving, Virgil's shoulders ease with a moan.

He glances down at Logan's hand, before biting his lip, and then leaning forward. One of his hands rests on Logan's shoulders, and the other reluctantly wraps around Logan's cock. He tries to mimic Logan's movements, with his hand stroking slowly over Logan's shaft and then sliding the pad of his thumb over the slit, and he flushes as Logan's cock hardens in his grip.

A groan from Logan draws Virgil's attention, and as he looks up at Logan's face, he notices that it's bright red, and that Logan's staring completely focused at Virgil's cock. Sensing eyes on him though, he looks up, and Virgil realizes how close their faces really are.

They're staring at each other for a few brief moments, before they're lips are touching. Neither of them know who leaned in, but their eyes are squeezed closed as their tongues slide into each others mouths.

Both of them are quite inexperienced, but what they're doing now feels good, and they dont plan on stopping.

Virgil's cock starts leaking pre-come, and Logan uses it as extra lubricant over Virgil's cock, and his hand speeds up around it, causing Virgil to moan into his mouth. When Logan pulls back the slightest bit, Virgil leans closer, chasing his lips. When they're pressed together again, Virgil can really only whine out "please" before Logan's hand is in his hair and they're tasting each other again.

Once again trying to copy what Logan's doing, Virgil's hand speeds up around Logan, hoping to pleasure him the same way Logan is pleasuring him.

Logan groaning against his lips in response is an added plus, and the noises he's making sends shivers of pleasure down Virgil's spine. He scoots closer, wanting to press their bodies together, with his free hand sliding down in order to slip up under Logan's shirt. In a burst of confidence, he's feeling up Logan's chest, and Logan arches into it as his head falls back in a moan.

Virgil can easily read him once they pull away, and watches as Logan's shoulders slump and the way his eyebrows crease. It clicks for him a few seconds later that Logan must have needed this too, and suddenly he feels more confident stroking and touching him.

This was benefitting both of them; Logan had offered and Virgil was helping return the favor, and in turn they both were moaning and focusing on the own pleasure they were receiving, while simultaneously trying to pleasure the other person.

Any worries or troubles either of them may have had melt away, as do the tension in their bodies, and Virgil's hand falters slightly as he whines out "'m close!"

He attempts to buck into Logan's hand, being met with even faster strokes in response, and Virgil squeezes around the base of Logan's cock, earning a gasp in response, before Logan's gritting out "me- me too."

Virgil's eyes dart from Logan's cock back to his face, where his eyes are pressed close, his face is flushed, and he's biting his lip, and just looking at his face adds to Virgil's pleasure, and before he realizes it, his head is thrown back in a loud moan as he comes over Logan's hand, and even over a bit of Logan's body.

His hand squeezes over Logan's cock, slowing considerably as that bliss sets in, no doubt caused by the release of endorphins that his climax caused.

Logan's whine brings him out of his euphoric state, and he pushes himself back up fully, before his hand once again starts moving rapidly on Logan's cock, and Logan can hardly stutter out a warning before he's coming too, breathing rapid as his hand tugs lightly at Virgil's hair.

They both sit there for a moment, panting, before Logan moves to get up. "Thank you for that experience," he sighs out, before sucking in a deep breath afterwards. "I hope it was as satisfying for you as it was for me."

He seems completely calm after what they both participated in, and the blush from his cheeks was fading with each breath they took in. Virgil did note that his demeanor seems more relaxed, though, and Virgil can't deny that he is too.

His anxiety seems to have melted away, at least for now, and he can really only nod and say "it was," and hope that Logan decides that they both need to relax again together sometime soon.

#kinktober 2020 #agp kinktober 2020

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cryptidmullet · 3 years

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renga + their families headcanons

- reki Was bad at cooking but then when he starts sharing food from his bento with langa he wants to start learning to make it so him and his mom cook together

- he’s better at cooking than baking bc baking is so precise and he prefers to just go at it rather than follow a strict recipe

- langa loves his food :)

- langa only knows how to make like. Tacos spaghetti omurice grilled cheese pancakes etc things like that until he’s in his like third year reki ropes him into helping make food and he finds that its kinda fun

- (but he mostly likes to see reki cook bc somehow he makes even That seem lively and fun and natural almost like he dances around the kitchen instead of awkwardly fumbling through the chaos like langa himself does)

- so after that langa starts joining reki and masae when they cook :)

- he reki and masae all take turns looking after the twins when the other two are cooking so if masae thinks the two of them are all good she’ll leave them to it but other times she’ll be walking langa through a recipe and reki will be sitting at the table drawing with chihiro and nanaka and other times when its masae and reki langa will stand in the doorway with chihiro on his hip and nanaka sitting on the counter messing with his hair

- reki absolutely loves seeing langa with his sisters bc he’s cute and awkward but he tries so hard because he adores the three of them and they all equally adore him (and yeah he gets better at interacting with them over time, they kinda come to feel like his own siblings at some point)

- anytime reki comes home alone the twins are like :C wheres langa-kun

- koyomi likes to tell langa about the drama and gossip at school and he always nods along and listens carefully even tho he definitely does not remember “that girl hina who stuck gum in ichikas hair in elementary school”

- he actually does pick up on some of the names and stories and stuff tho and koyomi will be talking to reki about something that happened at school and langas like oh is that the same girl who spilled juice on that guy she liked and rekis like wtf

- i just like to think langa actually puts in a lotta effort to have good relationships with all of rekis family partially bc he knows how much family means to reki and also bc he only has his mom and its nice to have sibling dynamics and talk to rekis mom about baby reki stories

- even tho langa could give a rats ass about american football somehow the topic is brought up and he ends up teaching (with his limited knowledge) and playing it with reki and his sisters one day out in their front yard

- and really theyre just running around a lot and doing underhand tosses with a random wiffle ball they found and letting the twins “score” and acting upset that they lost to “those two great athletes” just to make them giggle

- masae gets a video of them all playing together and sends it to reki who saves it and watches it at night to replay the moment langa scoops up chihiro and runs across the yard with her held up in the air and setting her down all grandiose like for a touchdown

- rekis constantly having to yell at koyomi not to just barge into his room

- she comes in one day her finger already pointed accusingly at reki as he sighs in exasperation and peels away from where he was cuddled into langas side and shes like “you took the last blue popsicle.” and rekis like “whaaaat no that was langa” and koyomi rolls her eyes and says “langa doesnt even like the blue ones you jerk” and then jumps on his bed and lays all spread out so reki fusses and pushes her off with his foot and they end up squabbling for a while all while langa sits there watching fondly amused

- reki always closes the door when him and langa are in his room but every time his mom comes in for anything she hovers in the doorway for a second longer and then leaves it open Just a crack which makes reki sigh dramatically as he gets up to toe it shut again

- after they make up in e10 they both get more touchy and clingy and just generally are less worried about their affection being rejected so it kinda becomes normal for them to cuddle

- like they would before but it was always under the guise of falling asleep in bed together and then oh wow we woke up literally glued together what a coincidence? How does this keep happening?

- but now its a little more intentional and even tho neither of them really bring it up reki will lay down on his bed all sprawled out and be like? You gonna lay down man? And then pull him into his side and press his face into langas shoulder

- or when they’re sitting against the wall on the bed reki will sling a leg over langas and rest his head on his shoulder and wrap an arm around his back

- and langas still not very good at initiating that kind of physical affection but he always reciprocates it and longs for it

- i think theres this moment one day when langas helping his mom cook dinner and he’s chopping onions and she’s stirring something over the stove and he stops for a second and says “hey mom” and she looks at him a little bit hopeful and a little bit nervous like she always does in situations like these and he asks “could i… could i have a hug?”

- and its the first time theyve hugged since oliver’s funeral (aside from a couple side hugs like on the day they moved into their apartment in japan) and nanako tears up a little bit and tries not to get snot all over him and they stay there embracing for a good long while until whatever she’s cooking on the stove starts to boil a little too loudly and they finally pull away and get back to what theyre doing

- and i like to think that was kinda a turning point for them and langa starts to lean on her a little more and she gets less nervous every time he takes a longer than normal breath

- on the rare occasion reki will curl up on the couch while his mom is watching some rerun of an old show and he’ll lean up against her and she’ll run her fingers through his hair

- and on even rarer nights she’ll make just the two of them tea or hot chocolate and they’ll sit together talking and catching up while the television runs in the background and its on one of those nights he tells her just how much langa means to him

- and masae tears up just the tiniest bit bc there’s something so beautiful about seeing that kind of unadulterated fondness and love for someone and she’s so happy her son has langa in his life and they end the night cleaning out their mugs together and hugging

- (masae’s hugs are warm, maybe even warmer than joe and reki’s combined)

- and the next time langa stays the night masae kisses them both on the head to say goodnight and smiles at the way reki laughs and teases langa about turning red because “he’s officially been accepted as part of the family now!” once she’s left the room and closed the door

- and every once in a while she’ll come in on a weekend morning to inform them breakfasts ready but see them curled up together, rekis hand fisted in the front of langas shirt, face buried in his chest, and langas leg and arm thrown haphazardly across reki’s body and their faces both so relaxed and content and she’ll leave them be to sleep a little while longer

#i stayed up so late last night thinking about renga and their families #theres just smth so special about two families coming together so naturally #it just makes me :)#sk8 #sk8 the infinity #sk8 reki #reki kyan #renga #sk8 langa #langa hasegawa #lanreki #sunset snow #snowgear #masae kyan #nanako hasegawa #chihiro kyan #nanaka kyan #koyomi kyan #oliver hasegawa

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crosswordgf · 3 years

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chuck is defeated and cas is in the empty and mary is alive dont ask how and somehow she has gotten back her memories of her quick and doomed romance with anna, which means she is constantly falling to pieces. she was just coming to terms with having missed out on so much of her sons lives and now she regains this piece of herself unexpectedly and suddenly everything about herself feels so real she cannot stand it but she also cant help but rejoice a little. and at the same time dean is completely ruined over cas, working himself stupid trying to get him back, desperate and always one second away from giving up, and slowly unravelling from this new knowledge that cas loves him, cas loves him, cas loves him. and important detail, neither of them tells anyone about this new information. so they just avoid each other and resentment grows and dean is unbearable to be around and drinks too much and mary is only now getting to mourn something she lost decades ago and has no patience for her son’s tantrums and they both just lock themselves in their rooms and take turns taking long drives alone in the impala to scream or cry or sit in silence. theyre both so wrapped up in their own grief that they havent payed any attention to each others. then mary walks by dean’s room and sees him sitting on his knees, head bowed, speaking quietly. praying. mary hasnt prayed in over four decades and sees no reason to start now that both god and anna are dead. she looks at her son, listens to his desperate pleas, his begging, and when the realization comes she feels a little hysterical, almost choking on it. dean notices movement from the corner of his eye and startled, looks up and into his mother’s knowing eyes, his face wet with tears. she sits down beside him, says ”we’ll find him”, going for reassuring but missing by a mile. her voice is thick with unshed tears. dean turns away, swallows. mary takes a deep breath, forces steadiness into her voice, says ”i’m starting to suspect that we might be going through something similar”. dean looks at her, guarded and already beginning to retreat into himself, before seeing how tired she looks, how the grief and fear in her eyes matches his own, and he barely even feels all the walls crumble as he softly confesses ”i loved him, mom. i loved him and now he’s gone.” and mary thinks of anna’s hand in hers, of the brightest love she’s ever known, of how quickly and violently it was ripped from her, tries for a smile, says ”i know the feeling, baby. i know”.

#spn #annamary #i feel insane

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help-i-need-a-cool-username · 3 years

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Been thinking about what Mordred's life in Camelot would've been like if Merlin didn't hate him and then thought about how if Morgana was around she would probably always give him her favor at every tournament (until he married) and the other knights would tease him for that so have a broad outline for a Beloved Characters Dont Turn Evil AU

Morgana discovers her magic and Merlin swears to her that he'll protect her. He comforts her when she's scared and Merlin begs Gaius to share his knowledge and suspicions about Morgana to Morgana herself. One night Morgana bursts into their quarters in hysterics, waking them up, screaming and sobbing, and it feels like Merlin's hug is the only thing holding her together but its not enough. Glass starts shattering, candles flare, chandeliers fall to the ground. Gaius decides at this point not telling her will do considerable more harm than not, to both herself and others. They stay up through the night. Gaius speaking and Morgana asking questions, Merlin with a supportive hand on Morgana's shoulder. At one point Morgana tearfully asks the question Merlin asked Gaius long ago, "am i a monster?". They all fall asleep at the table, and that morning when Gwen arrives to wake Morgana only to find her absent with her blankets thrown over the bed and several things knocked over she runs and alerts the guards. The guards initiate lockdown and the commotion reaches Uther and wakes Arthur (Merlin is once again late), and they proceed to fear she was kidnapped right under their noses without anyone knowing. Arthur runs down to get Merlin so he can prepare him for the day only to open the door to find the three of them asleep on the table.

Later Merlin organizes for Morgana to learn more than Gaius can tell her from the Druids, but she intends to stay the night at least, if not then significantly longer (anywhere from a week to several months), and they have no good excuse for her to use that would allow her to leave without Gwen and guards. They come up with some very convoluted plan, which does not end up in the raid that occurred in canon, and when Gwen catches her sneaking back she lies and says she wanted to check up on Mordred (who she did run into), to see if he was with the Druid encampment that was rumored to be nearby (which he was). She didn't learn nearly as much as she hoped in those few hours, but they at least pointed her in a direction.

Morgause comes to town, and leaves Morgana her bracelet. After discovering it stops her visions Morgana takes it to Gaius, who reveals it was enchanted and looks similar to the one Lady Vivienne used to wear. Morgana states Morgause got it from her mother, but that Lady Vivienne was Morgana's mother and wonders how the bracelet ever got to Morgause. Gaius says there was a rumor that Lady Vivienne had a baby that displayed a affinity for magic, but Gorlois told Uther their baby had died before they even named her. Gaius reveals that the baby was smuggled out of Camelot and given to the High Priestesses, and Morgause might very well be that baby. Morgana begins to long for a connection with Morgause, to meet the sister she never knew of and recover something of her dead parents. When she begins secretly meeting Morgause, she tells Merlin and then asks him to come with her when she begins receiving lessons from her. Morgause tries to convince them that killing Uther is the right thing to do, but Merlin keeps reassuring Morgana that all they need to do is convince Arthur to change the law for when he is king, and he's not ready to do that now so theres no use in killing Uther before he's ready, and that she does love Uther and Uther does love her and would try to "fix" her well before he ordered her death. Morgause still wants him dead, to rush the prophecy of magic's return. Them sneaking out every few nights cements the idea that Morgana and Merlin are secretly dating in castle gossip.

Im not sure what happens with Morgause, but i think she would still take Camelot at some point and she would spare Morgana and by extension Merlin. Morgana and Merlin make sure to get Arthur out (and Merlin probably goes with him) because they dont trust Morgause to not kill him. Morgause reveals her heritage (and makes Morgana a Princess and her Heir) despite claiming the throne for people of magic and not the House of Gorlois, and the knowledge that Vivienne and one of her daughters were sorceresses leads Uther to believe he can not save Morgana from magic that is likely in her blood and THAT is what breaks his mental state. Morgana's real heritage is revealed soon after, with Uther informing Gaius that Morgana being a Princess is actually within her birth rights. Morgause continues Morgana's training because at some point Morgana has to become a High Priestess because canon. That or Morgause switches sides (this is a Beloved Characters Dont Go Evil AU might as well make it No Beloved Characters Are Evil AU) and she trains Morgana later after Arthur is a established King.

Morgause is overthrown and the Round Table formed. Arthur as well as several people in the castle know of or suspect Morgana of being a sorceress but he refuses to banish her, first believing it to have been out of her control (forced by Morgause) and later learning that her nightmares had been magic all along (how could he punish her for something he knows she had tried to get rid of for over a decade?). Perhaps he lets her keep the title of Princess, having always seen her as a sister (and someone who is compassionate for the people in a way royalty should be) and armed with the new knowledge of her being his actual sister. Everyone expects Regent Arthur to crack down on magic, its what Uther would have done and what the people want, so he does. Morgana becomes a advocate for magic, as she had been for Arthur in private as a Prince, and it scares people in the castle. They believe her to be working with Morgause, despite her arguments being for individuals' wellbeing and how punishments fuels hatred for Camelot. Several attempts are made on her life, many stopped by Merlin and Gwen and sometimes Lancelot. Arthur often "asks" Merlin for his opinion on magic and with Morgana's voice being public he feels okay with being straight with Arthur on what he thinks. Uther dies same as he did in canon: protecting Arthur from a assassination.

Mordred becomes a Knight because canon. Morgana is ecstatic to see him again and acts like a mother who hasn't seen her child in ages when she first sees him. Merlin has learned you often make the enemies that are destined to kill you (ex. trying to stop Morgana's visions from coming true) so he ignores Kilgharrah and doesn't hate Mordred (he is always wary though). Mordred alternates between childlike eagerness around the knights and following Merlin around while hero worshiping him (no one can figure out why. Their best guess is that Morgana is a mutual friend). In the beginning he kept messing up his name (calling him "Merlin" is just weird) and they often talk in their heads and therefore just stare at each other which has led to two conflicting rumors: theyre in love or they hate each other. Morgana often invites him to dinner, and when they dine with Arthur they easily slip into mind-talking (because chewing) and Arthur is convinced that they're making fun of him every time they do it. He protects Arthur when Merlin can't, often runs off to do side quests Merlin needs to do but cant get away to do, and often tags along with Merlin on his quests. Being able to share the knowledge of his destiny since Lancelot died (if he dies in this AU) relaxes Merlin's caution and allows him to be emotionally closer to him. Mordred enjoys being around Merlin and Morgana not just because he's Emrys and she's Morgana, but because they are the closest thing to home he has: they know what he is, they understand (bits) of his culture and make it possible for Mordred to share it with them, their individual magic sings strong enough to remind him of when he lived surrounded by it. He quickly grows to love them so very much and no one understands WHY. The knights tease him about it, and Morgana forcing Arthur to take Mordred on certain missions he isnt qualified for "so he can learn" does not help. Gwaine and Percival were planning to convince him that he couldnt compete in a tournament without a lady's favor because he's the rookie and his panicked look greatly amuses them only to find Morgana giving him her's before kissing his cheek. They were relentless after that, alternating between "lady's favors dont count if they're from your mom," "Mordred has a girlfriend," and whatever the medieval version of affectionately calling him "Bambi" is. Morgana sits in the stand's throne (since Arthur is competing) or besides it if Gwen is queen, and she flashes a smile at him when he comes out (Gwen too. He's a sweet kid with a baby face, of course he's one of her favorites. He also reminds her of Merlin when she first met him: kind, awkward, cute). This settles Mordred's nerves but has the unfortunate side effect of increased teasing. Merlin doesn't let it go to far, he never does, and gives them a distraction before running back to Arthur.

And then magic is brought back to the land and Morgana continues the work of the High Priestesses and helps the rebuilding efforts and they're still adventures and problems, but everyone Lives Happily Ever After

#hinacu merlin #bbc merlin #morgana #mordred #merlin #morgause #au #morgana is good au #mordred is good au #to clarify merlin and morgana never date #its just castle gossip and arthurs assumptions #mordred has familial love for morgana and no you dont need a family dynamic for that #people make mom jokes but its not like that #morgana cares a lot about people and wants to protect them but mordred is ''new'' and ten years younger than her #so mom jokes are too easy #morgana tells merlin of her visions and he sets out to stop them like when kilgharrah tells him stuff #and then she gets her bracelet and that stops but its not like merlin can ask her to take it off #idk when morgana finds out about his magic #maybe he tells her about the whole dragonlord thing but i dont trust her not to NOT say something about it when defending him #he def would have kept it a secret around morgause and in canon she didnt seem to know his power but nimueh did so who knows #i like to think she has no idea that he has powerful magic that hes actually super weak with it since he almost never does magic #big fan of mordreds silent hero worship

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larrythefloridaman · 3 years

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Y'all like your deities with or without the shell?

Under the readmore is aaaaaaaaall color god observations and musings based on them, because I am studying to become the world's Premiere Chromatheologian and RGB Understander so under the cut is pretty much Oops! All Spoilers! up to the most recent episode of season 3.

Apparently Universal Color God Attributes:

Damage to their domain hurts them, but fixing the issue, or lashing out by using their powers destructively, can help them to repair the damage.

If they sustain enough damage, it can temporarily paralyze them and send them into a strengthened but 'exposed' state (chartreuse's spirit activation in the last fight of 19) and further damage after that will activate a failsafe, which is unique by domain but seemingly designed to give them the chance to balance things, but can get… very out of hand or backfire depending on circumstances. (see: cobalt’s failsafe sending mark's universe into a never-ending apocalyptic war because word of the cure for death became too widespread for the killing urge failsafe to affectively balance anything because every side could simply revive their fallen.)

Chartreuse's failsafe is something of a stopped time bubble quarantine where processes that require the passing of time cannot complete, allowing her the time to wear down the offending party to beat them to death or plan around finishing them.

Cobalt's is inciting war, the casualties serving to balance the scale. I'm not sure we know Crimson's yet- he's never taken enough direct damage without doing damage to compensate in order to trigger it, although i dont remember season one well enough to recall if any of the universe stuff in it tracks with the pattern bc season one is a bit fucky

Connected in a fashion that allows them to simply Sense the overall status of the others to some extent, although they don't know Why theyre in the state theyre in without asking (chartreuse [and by extension, folk, presumably on her information] confronting crimson via crimsonaut for pretending to be dead, Cobalt confronting both his siblings about how they are handling their duties improperly but not knowing about Folk. He knew about the constants deaths because hes a death god, duh, but he didnt use their names like crimson did, possibly implying they're erased upon death so thoroughly that only crimson and the constants can really recall a shattered constants' existence, not even the other guardians.)

Abilities of the guardians can be replicated by mortals through three apparent methods- through machines (dimensional bus, the time machine, presumably J0hn's part in Sephiroth's resurrection,) simply through advanced enough individual skill (Home MD curing death, potentially Dantoinette's universe portal travel, maybe Genwun's sped up time bubble that evolved them into Genfour? although that could very well have just been an illusion and theyre just like, a fuckin theater kid that was doing pretend character development for the Bit or something given GenFive turned out to be a zoroark) or through stealing some of the power of the relevant god (Dr. Order stealing Chartreuse's power, Dani maybe having stolen some of Crimson's when she beat his ass. Dani's one woman universal travel is like, wicked ambiguous)

Cobalt:

Can seemingly perceive or act through any living material. (The Tree. Cobalt instructed Larry to slap his hand on that tree, that shit glowed and he had a new deal tattoo without Cobalt ever having been physically present)

Can influence the resurrected by giving them a killing urge. Represented by an aberrant brainwave and a ringing in the undead's heads. This doesnt appear to be direct control- as the Grunk could clearly restrain himself from killing people that genuinely didn't deserve it (like nightly and cha cha, who WERE grunk event targets but not fatally so. Nagito was a crimson thing so it really doesn't count here. God poor grunk his life really is just a constant plaything in the hands of the gods huh) and Sephiroth very much had personal motivation to want to kill Folk. failsafe activates this ability on the scale of war.

Deals. The extent of what Cobalt can do with these is unclear but Iggy's god powers were taken from him as his part in the deal so what he can take isn't limited to physical things or things obviously related to his domain.

Weaknesses:

Deals. While this ability is impressive his preference for making deals for those that offend against his domain is potentially very exploitable- Larry's knowledge of the cure for death is, if word of it were to ever get out beyond Larry, wildly dangerous for this dimension, so technically the safest thing for the iron-fisted cobalt to do would be to nip the problem in the bud and get rid of him. But, fascinatingly, that wasn't even put on the table, the first thing Cobalt does is threaten J0hn, prompting Larry to make a deal. While Cobalt enforces death, he also doesn't like unnecessary death, and Larry demonstrably knows how to keep a secret for the good of the world even at great cost to himself and Cobalt is aware of this- easily clarifying to Larry the aberrant thing endangering the universe wasn't his timeloop business. So while he's clearly not letting his resurrection fuckery go unpunished, he's being pretty merciful when he doesn't have to be and from a strictly, brutally pragmatic perspective probably shouldn't be.

His control over the undead manifests as a ringing and an aberrant brainwave trackable by J0hn's equipment, and could probably therefore be accounted for and circumvented? J0hn has, wisely, largely sworn off fucking with people's brains after the sephiroth fiasco went So Wrong, So Very Wrong, Oh God Oh Fuck Someone Cool Almost Died, but if he hadn't, and if J0hn let his dislike for authority and keeping Larry safe outweigh reason like he let safety, spite and comedic value outweigh good ethical sense when reprogramming sephiroth, in theory Mr. 'hacked a time machine for breakfast?' could. y'know. probably do it. what is a god's authority to an anarchist, what better to challenge life and death than the cold and eternal machine, you get the point its a fun scenario

Olive Garden Breadsticks and Small Cute Dogs, apparently

Chartreuse's:

Time Clones: taps into parallel timelines to retrieve alternate versions of herself to utilize.

Time Travel: what it says on the tin. Travel to the past creates painful splits in the prime timeline, but through careful action and traveling back into the past, these can be weaved into a time loop. A split from the timeline is a wound, and a successful timeloop is the surgical scar it can become with attentive care, to use a medical metaphor. Carefully closed and healing. Keeping Folk here is essentially akin to chartreuse pulling out her stitches on the initial incision.

Time Stopping: creates a space wherein things that take time to complete cannot complete, where things can move, but everything within is in a perfect unchanging stasis until the bubble drops. This is the form her failsafe takes.

Timeline Creation: can create timelines from scratch.

Can fuse alternate timeline versions of the same individual to allow them to coexist. (Ryan's confirmed in the discord that Dantoinette experienced both failures in 20, because Chartreuse fused the two instances of her to save the post-raid instance from fading. Could... theoretically do this to Folk and save herself the pain, but while Folk and Therapuppy are the same person, there's seven years and untold amounts of difference deriving from the time and circumstance between them and the inherent cognitive dissonances that would result from attempting that would be wicked fucked up to inflict, and that's assuming there isn't some reason that it wouldn't be possible anyway. while the two Danis had like. A day or so's difference between them, so she could be safely fused with the only dissonant thing being that she remembers both being too slow to prevent order's time escape and beginning to dissipate post-raid, AND losing that fight to her pre-raid. RIP Dani, that perfectionism must be kicking her ass)

Weaknesses:

Unwilling to use her powers destructively in her pursuit of domain repair and thereby much easier to damage to the point of paralyzing her, making her particularly vulnerable to Power Theft

Morally Optimistic. At one point in 19, she briefly justifies Crimson's shitty evil actions to herself after experiencing for herself how Wack the kerfuffleverse is firsthand, ("and all he did was kill a couple people!" Chartreuse. Honey.) and when she fights Crimsonaut she seems to actually believe for a second that he's actually worried about her when Crimson asks if she's okay after he beats her. Additionally, as D+, she concerns herself with trying to understand doctor order's motive, and after Larry defeats Order, he makes a point of confirming she feels no remorse before making his request for what Chartreuse does with her, and appeals to the idea of letting Order fulfill her desire to be a god in a way which isn't a problem for anyone and Chartreuse is more than happy to oblige under these conditions after what Larry's done for everybody. Then immediately threatens to evaporate him for playfully teasing her about having a crush on folk. Fucked up a little bit

Crimson's:

Universe Shifting: Travel between universes.

Universe Correction: appears to replace an aberrant individual with the 'correct' version of themselves for that universe, presumably sending them back to their own. (Mario from super mario was universe corrected, but still seemingly exists in wario form as evidenced by smashup kerfuffle, and was simply temporarily replaced with his corrected universe counterpart. But like. The dimensional bus system is still active crimbo doing the Put That Thing Back Where It Came From Or So Help Me routine aint gonna work if they can come back with a shrug and bus fare. you're fighting the symptoms without treating the problem)

Universal Constants:

Three individuals per universe that serve as the pillars which stabilize said universe, created by absorbing red orbs Crimson creates. Becoming a constant grants power, but also makes the constant fragile, and death wipes them from the face of the multiverse, only crimson, those he's possessed and the other constants seemingly able to recall they ever existed, although some physical evidence is still left behind (Larry's record of Nagito's death, which is just as redacted as everything else relating to him but still is very much something Larry has. Kind of a Voidfish adventurezone type beat ironically enough? Taako really has seen all this shit before no wonder he peaced tf out)

To counterbalance the weaknesses the constants have, they have a sort of spidey-sense to alert them to danger, and an intrinsic bonded connection to their fellow constants, and additionally, Crimson apparently doesn't suffer any pain from the death of constants or the structural instability of a universe.

Possession: what it says on the tin! Seemingly can only be done with permission to living things- none of crimson's direct hosts seem to have entered that agreement unwillingly, Valentine lost a bet, Hamburger and Crimsonaut have been by all evidence intentional allies to Crimson- but electronics are fair game, as seen with The Guy's suit. Kinda curious how that rule applies to bitches that are half and half, like J0hn or the clonebot gang, as its unclear whether The Guy's suit was yoinkable without permission because it was mechanical or because its not sentient. could go either way but if it's the former that's potentially very frightening

Fusion: Two individuals from alternate universes can be fused into one shared body which can take on aspects of either depending on which is currently in control. (possibly allows someone who traveled into a given universe to become a fixed resident there without it being an issue for Crimson, whose job is to prevent interdimensional travel?) Monday Mark and possibly T.O.M. are our main examples.

Corruption:

Unpleasant As Hell and can even kill you instead of changing you if you cant handle it.

turns the corrupted individual into a twisted exaggeration of themself, allows them supernatural control over their shape, and makes them very difficult- if not impossible by traditional means- to kill, based on Garfield.

Subjects them to control by Crimson, but can be exorcised of this influence just like crimson's direct hosts can, although the supernatural changes to their physiology are seemingly permanent, judging from Shantae.

Notable Weaknesses:

Exorcism can be performed to free a possessed or corrupted individual of Crimson's influence. Its unclear how exorcism works/is learned in CPUK, but confirmed exorcists: dantoinette and yung papaya's snake dad, confirmed non-exorcists: folk

The universal constant orbs are physical objects so they are Very Stealable and they grant a power boost so theres literally an Incentive to beat his ass for anybody who wants to be strong and either doesnt know or doesn't care about the whole 'getting erased when you die' part

Crimson has lots of tools to create pawns, but all of them have drawbacks. Corruption could kill a potential pawn, possession generally seems to require permission, and he has no control over the constants' choices and actions

Manipulative bitch's highest stat is charisma and it shows. This motherfucker is selling snake oil. If he was mortal rather than a Whole Entire God he'd make an excellent ineffectual saturday morning cartoon supervillain and i think everyone, including him, would be happier for it, ngl

Something interesting ive realized that likely wasnt fully intentional, is that a lot of Dr. Order's creations, considering her motive, can kind of be sorted by a color god it appears to be a crude attempt at mimicking the abilities of. My Grunk is a poorly executed resurrection, the clonebot gang vs chartreuse's timeclones (this one deserves special mention because Chartreuse used this shitty attempted mimicry to her advantage with D+, very smart and ironic play, excellent job Treusy,) spirits are somewhat similar to universal constant orbs (orbs which can be absorbed to grant power, but which have physical repercussions- key differences being that spirits require activation and grow stronger while attuning to a user without being used, and having far less severe drawbacks, taking a heavy toll on the body, but only once they've worn off and without the risk of wiping yourself from the face of existence,) and she also augmented Perfect Spriteman and Larry, which kind of track as crude imitations of Crimson's corruption!

Garfield was an acerbic cat who loved food and hated mondays, now its an actively malicious ever-hungry amorphous entity whose only weakness is monday and whose only consistency in form is 'cat-like.'

Shantae was (to my extremely limited understanding of shantae,) a friendly heroic type who had to introduce herself often, and she became something akin to a biblically accurate angel that can *only* introduce herself.

The Grunks a tough but sweet and supportive single dad with stage presence and a tendency to fly off the handle when he or his family are slighted, and now he gets so hype in the audience when his son does well that he bursts into flames and ascends and we get random grunk events along with the associated murder charges when he gets mad and the target sucks enough that he doesn't hold himself back from killing them.

Perfect Spriteman and Larry fit the trend of exaggeration of already present traits- Spriteman fucking loves sprite and became something that only thinks about sprite, and Larry the Florida Man, characterized from minute one by unpredictability and who spent his first matches in the series pre-shapeshifter transformation staying alive keeping stocks for Shockingly Long even despite getting seventh, became literally physically random as well as developing the ability to regenerate, albeit with the ability to feel pain normally very much intact, unlike Garfield just... Soaking up damage like its nothing in his pursuit of Jon. The fact that Arbuckle legit defeated Garfield, even temporarily, is terrifyingly impressive honestly that dude is fucking built different for being so chronically bland

i dont think they're actually corrupted in any meaningful way we have to worry about, to be fully clear, Spriteman was cured with fucking antacids, i simply think they could be a fucked up attempt at making something that kind of seems like it from a functional standpoint, from the wannabe god doctor that brought us green clones whose only fundamental association with time was accelerated aging and who thought an actively rotting corpse thats just reanimated enough that it can throw hands was as good as curing death

#cpu kerfuffle #cpuk cobalt #cpuk chartreuse #cpuk crimson #im like. 80% all this info is correct but im not feeling up to rewatching matches to doublecheck rn ngl asdsfgfghgfhfgsdf #will probably edit with fixes if im misremembering smthn later

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blxetsi · 3 years

Note

Hi there! I love your work!! So I know this sounds a little niche but, could we get headcanons for a reader in a polyamorous relationship with Hange and Miche please? Hope you’re having a really good day!

NO BEXAUSE IVE BEEN WAITING FOR SOMEINE TO REQUEST POLYAMOROUS STUFF OMGGGGG 😭 ty for your service anon it means a lot 😔🙏

hange and mike dating headcanons (canonverse)

zoë hange x gn!reader x mike zacharias

warnings: polyamorous relationship, and titans ??, reader is kinda innocent ?? like just easily wound up

also this is going to be SO fucking long and focused on hange for the first long bit sorry !

btw this isnt rlly dating headcanons so much as backstory, how you met, and shit leading up to actually getting together i went so fucking overboard and went the complete opposite way of what you asked ill do a part two with ACTUAL dating headcanons if youd like anon just tell me and ill do it

- i think you wouldve worked for garrison originally

- in season one when hange started the experiments on sawney and bean thats when you would've met them

- you had been a big fan of their research studies for a while, so being in front of someone you thought was so cool was a little nerve wracking

- you had just became newly appointed as a captain for a garrison squad, being one of the youngest recruits to get the position, which also meant some people thought you couldnt handle the job

- you were good at telling others what to do, and guiding them when needed, you took over the leader role very quickly, you had to if you wanted to keep the position

- although you thought you were a good leader, others didnt

- specifically older members of garrison who thought because you were so young, youd be naive

- and since you were a garrison captain, you worked closely with hange and moblit during their experiments

- any request they made for supplies or anything, went through you and youd get it for them

- they needed more help ? youre requesting three soldiers to the experimentation zone immediately. anything they needed you helped with, because you liked helping

- hange had quickly grown fond of you, they were so thankful that you were so willingly to have your squad help them. you remember the brunette grabbing your hand and saying "thank you for your dedication to this project and to science !" while bowing multiple times

- as unsanitary and childish as it was,,, you didnt wash that hand for a day

- hange saw how some members of your squad treated you, and it may have irked them a bit

- causing them to rant to moblit while writing down research data

- "hange." "i just dont get it, why dont they say anything ? theyre so nice so why dont people respect them like they should-" "hange !" "what ?!" "youre writing down captain l/n's name on your page !" "so what ?!- wait what" this causes a night of bickering between the two of them 😐🤚

- when sawney and bean died hange was devastated. you had grown to like the section commander as a friend and respected them greatly, so to see their hardwork and research all go down the drain was hard

- you immediately went into leader mode and started ordering your squad around "listen up ! i want this whole perimeter checked and searched for any evidence to help us find out who did this." a couple members groaned, and one man, who was in his early thirties made a comment about it. "theyre just stupid fucking titans. we're supposed to kill them, not keep them alive for some freak to experiment on them."

- yknow,, looking back on it maybe you shouldnt have went off on them the way you did, but you did because not only was the man questioning your authority and orders, he was blatantly disrespecting a section commander. "i am your captain. i am your leader. you will respect me, and you will listen to me. you either do i say or youll be suspended and taken off my squad immediately. and that goes for everyone ! do i make myself clear ?" you shouted. the man who had talked back raised his eyebrows, youd never once yelled or demanded things be done in a manner like this, and it clearly shocked him when you stood up for yourself.

- a bunch of murmurs came from your squad and you dismissed them, but not before stepping in front of your soldier in front of everyone. "between you and me ? you should be discharged for not only your blatant disrespect and defiance to me for months now, but also for your innapropriate and degrading comments about section commander hange. you wanna pull some shit like this in the future, not just to me but to anybody ? you should kiss your position in garrison squad goodbye, since youre too childish to keep your thoughts and opinions to yourself. now grow the fuck up and go do what ive asked please." the man looked scared as he stared at you, no one had seen you act like this before, his jaw clenched as he nodded and walked off, the rest of your squad dispersing with him

- you didnt notice hange calling your name until you felt their hand on your shoulder. you turned around and saw their sympathetic gaze on you. "thank you for defending me. are you okay ?"

- you rubbed the back of your neck and answered. "honestly ? i feel kind of bad, like i embarassed him or something." the survey corps leader tilted their head back as they laughed. "youre so kind y/n, but im proud of you." the comment, although lighthearted, struck a cord with you

- a couple days later you were requested to meet with not only the section commander but commander smith, as well as your superior, dot pixis

- the meeting only lasted about thirty minutes, but hange had boasted about not only your leadership skills but also your knowledge and ideas on various sciences. erwin decided to offer you a position to work under hange, and dot pixis agreed to have you transferred to the survey corps if you agreed.

- did your decision have to do with your crush on hange ? maybe. would you ever admit it ? no.

- pixis explained to you that youd be honorably disharged from the garrison regiment before being moved to the scouts' headquarters in trost

- you surprisingly got along well with others there. working in hanges squad was fun, and even though you were demoted from a captain back to a cadet you didnt mind

- hange had offered to share as much knowledge as they could with you, which led you to be in their office (as messy as it was) after work hours

- and thats where you met mike

- well, got to know him

- hange introduced you two when you first joined and the first thing the section commander did was NOT shake the hand you held out for him but to lean down and sniff around your hair and neck

- your face felt hot as you stuttered over your words, thrown off by his,,, unique, greeting

- hange and laughed and lightly pushed him away, before explaining to you that thats just what mike did

- back to being in hanges office

- for nights on end youd stay up together in their office, two chairs huddled beside one another while you read through books of research, not just from hange but from published scientists and anthropologists too

- mike had started joining you two only three days after you and hange started

- he would stay quiet, but would sit next to hange making them be sandwiched by the two of you

- after that you started to notice him more often

- down the halls he'd send you a small smile, which you brightly returned

- sometimes he'd be in charge of training that day, and he would wordlessly help you position your arms to properly block or punch when sparring with other members

- then he started bringing tea when he would come and listen to you and hange discuss different theories, articles and information together

- you didnt even know the two were dating until you accidentally walked in on them in hange's office

- they werent doing anything dirty, just giving each other a kiss, but you had walked in on them with a stack of papers captain levi told you to give to hange.

- you kinda,, stood there, slackjawed, while the two pulled apart slowly to look at you. hange had a mischievous grin on their face while mike just gave you a blank stare

- you dropped the papers. the stack of documents levi tasked you to give to hange. you dropped them. How Embarassing.

- your face began to feel hot not just from seeing them but also because youre embarassing yourself by dropping the papers and just standing there like an IDIOT

- "uh,,, i- captain levi said to give you those documents you requested." your voice cracked at the end making you wince

- "you mean the documents that are spread out on my floor now ?" hange asked. you looked between them and the floor, then at mike, then back to the floor than back at hange. "yes." you said, and you could feel that warmth in your face spreading to your ears now too. "im sorry." you exclaimed, your voice sounding strained as you quickly walked backwords and closed the door in front of you

- you started avoiding hange and mike after that, and became hyper aware of everything that they did. they were TAUNTING YOU 🙄 you could feel it

- instead of small smiles in the halls, after you started ducking your head down when you saw mike, he would now give you head pats when you crossed him

- hange would let their hand linger on your shoulder or side as they shuffled past you during meetings or experiments, and would come closer than usual when handing you documents

- mike would give you teasing smiles when you got your ass handed to you during sparring

- and finally you were fed up ! did this count as workplace harassment ? you didnt know but you wanted answers ! so you went to the source, hange's room after dinner

- you didnt bother knocking, you just walked in with your eyes closed

- hange giggled, "what are you doing y/n ?" "making sure im not walking into something i shouldnt be seeing, section commander." "by that do you mean the kiss mike and i shared ?" "yes." "well we're not kissing right now." they said, and you peaked one eye open to be sure they werent lying, and they werent !

mike stood up from his chair and slowly made his way past you, closing the door. you took a deep breath before throwing all of your word vomit on blond and brunette duo. "so i dont know why you guys think teasing me like this is fun, but it isnt. it makes me flustered and nervous and feel weird and im not sure if it counts as abuse of power but i dont like it so it needs to stop." you huffed in a big breath of air after saying all of that, and hange rested their head in their hands.

"y/n do you have a crush on me ?" they asked. their voice was soft but they still had that stupid smile on their face. you could feel your face getting warmer by the second. your mouth opened and closed but no words came out.

" i uh, im gonna leave now." you turned around but hit something hard, and looked up at mike looking down on you, a smirk on his face. he put his hands on your shoulders and turned you back around to hange, walking the two of you over to their desk. he gave you a slight push, causing you to put your hands on the desk and lean on it, while mike kept his hands on you to keep you from running.

hange leaned into you, your noses barely touching. "i only ask because, mike and i have grown very fond of you." they said. you nodded a little bit, the tips of your noses brushing against each other.

"yeah well, id be a little sad if my superiors didnt like me, that would be kind of bad." you replied.

"can i kiss you ?" they asked.

and now is when your brain really stops functioning. thoughts fill your mind of mike and his relationship to hange. are they actually together or is it a friends with benefits kind of thing ?

"i uh, i cant kiss you." you replied, a bit breathlessly caused by both section commanders.

"why not y/n ?"

"well i'm not a cheater, or a homewrecker. i mean i assume that you and mike are together so, im not going to kiss someone in a relationship." you stammered out. this was making you very nervous, butterflies errupting in your stomach. you knew they were just teasing you, goofing around to make you flustered, but a part of you hoped youd be able to kiss hange, and maybe mike for that matter.

they chuckled a bit, before their brown eyes looking behind you to mike's towering form. "honey, can you tell y/n its okay if they kiss me ?" they asked. mike let out a small laugh through his nose before leaning down.

"only if y/n promises to give me a kiss afterwards." he whispered. he pressed a faint kiss to your temple, and you shivered from the contact. he was warm, very warm, and even though it was such a small amount of contact it did so many things to you.

you gulped before bringing your eyes back to hange. you looked to their eyes, and then to their lips, and continued that pattern silently in hopes theyd understand. you didnt want to be teased anymore ! you wanted something to happen.

hange got the hint and smirked, before leaning in again and lightly brushing her lips against yours. theirs were soft compared to mikes chapped ones, and the kiss was so slow, so innocent, it had you leaning in for more. it was a slow, lazy kiss, a kiss to test the waters, it helped calm your nerves, but also made your nerved explode with heat.

finally the researched pulled away, and put their hands on your cheeks, squishing them to pucker your lips, before giving a kiss to your forehead, nose and lips one last time. they let go with a soft smile on their face, and a blush of their own.

you could feel mike press his body down against yours, making your knees buckle slightly. he took his right hand off your shoulder to place it on hange's cheek, thumbing over the red pigmentation. he then turned your head up and to the side, before giving you a kiss of his own. this one was a bit more dominating, hard. his chapped lips scratched against your own but you didnt mind. in a weird way it made you feel at ease, having him take control of it, the same way hange did but his was just more, needy.

he pulled back with a shaky breath and looked at you before looking at hange. "so y/n," hange began. they stood up and made their way around the table, mike pulling himself and you up straight so hange could sit on the edge, pulling you in to stand between their legs. being sandwiched in between mike and hange made you so aware of them, and even though you were very new to something like this you felt weirdly safe and secure. "mike and i genuinely care about you, and we want to be with you the way that we're with each other. would you like that ?"

honestly, how could you say no ?

thats it again im sorry the anon who requested this you did not get what you asked for 😭😭😭😭 hope u all enjoyed requests r open stay safe

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izzyliker · 3 years

Note

Hey, asking you this as nicely as I can but can you give the immediate victim blaming a break. The absolute lack of respect you have for the people tmc abused is genuinely disheartening. Yes, he’s a shitty person, you’re entitled to hate him but immediately going “well you should’ve seen it coming earlier lol we’ve been saying this” is just ASTONISHINGLY shortsighted and cruel. Have your opinions about him and the situation all you want I would just ask that you please keep it to yourself due to the many many people he’s hurt that are still on here and can see you disparaging them.

ok, that is not what i have been saying. "well you should've known" is not an accurate summary of my feelings on this matter but apologies if thats how it came across. i have been in an abusive relationship where the person did a lot of the same things and i, too, defended that person without considering how it impacted other people. i almost lost my best friend because of how i acted as a result of keeping him in my life while people around me kept telling me to get tf out. i know.

what i am is im frustrated and annoyed by how long people were willing to publicly and passionately defend this guy while apparently fully aware what kind of shit he was doing to other people, many of which is detailed in the callout itself, and how this is now being framed as news. before the document itself was published all me (or anyone) had to go off of was vague posts that amounted to a "callout trailer" and almost all of the information on it was shit that was 100% completely public knowledge. 20+ people being aware of all that goddamn stuff and not one of them publicly stopping associating with him is frustrating. it comes across as spineless and yes, like one anon told GD, gaslighty (although i have my own issues with this being used on a large scale instead of in interpersonal relationships but i understand where they were coming from). his lesbophobia, transphobia (strange that none of the transphobia towards trans men was mentioned?), and panphobia/aphobia/biphobia were widely documented and seeing that on a callout post as if it were news was extremely tiring.

ive since read the callout. the interpersonal actions seem to have been horrible but sadly im not surprised (by which i dont mean "and neither should you" but rather. my spidey senses for this sort of behavior are pretty accurate most of the time and i did see this coming. this isnt me saying im Better than these people or that they shouldve as well but rather that i have learned to identify people of this genre.) by any of them.

also im 75% sure this is tumblr user GD. hello. if not then apologies, its just that the typing here is very similar. if it is, i think you trying to both take accountability for this and process whatever it is youre processing at the same time on tumblr is a bad idea and going to just lead to people feeling hurt and betrayed because while i truly do see where the reaction is coming from (like, truly, i understand, believe me), if you say "i take responsibility for how i acted while being manipulated" but then when people voice their negative feelings you tell them theyre victim blaming you it is going to reflect poorly on you. i dont think you understand how many people were absolutely hurt by the enabling you and your large, massively popular group of friends did for him, including the MASSIVE defense rant you typed up in defense of him when someone sent an ask to the bi jon event about him being panphobic and aphobic. whether its fair for people to expect you to immediately go into depth about it is questionable but dont invite people to do this when you obviously cannot handle it (i dont mean this in a bad way like "oh you should handle it". i mean genuinely this is how you get burnt out and possibly worsen possible future trauma. by trying to immediately placate people without having the mental resources to do so.)

i think the "we dont condone these views and never did!" without ever specifying what they were or doing any other work there is a lazy fucking cop-out. your circle was/is massively popular and a lot of people took all of you as authorities on stuff like headcanons and respectful portrayals of certain characters or identities to the point of accepting your meta as canon (something you havent really dissuaded ever), and associating publicly with someone who would constantly do this kind of shit and then defending him publicly while also positing yourself as an authority isnt something you can just "oops! we never agreed with him!" yourself out of. GD & TF specifically, you are massive blogs. you are babys first TMA blog. people in your askbox hurt and betrayed by this shit are not necessarily there to victim blame you. they are there because they trusted your word when they said "hey seraf reblogged anti pan and anti ace and weird transphobic posts" and you said "seraf is one of my dearest friends and would never do any of those things and im personally offended youd even imply that." i think you dont understand the real life consequences of the massively popular posts and sentiments he made & published and that you helped spread (despite apparently knowing that he was being a massive hypocrite and bigoted towards those groups or identities in his personal life). obviously interpersonal abuse/conflict is going to be "worse" but dear god i hope you collectively understand that "oh btw we never endorsed his views" is a massive copout and a shit apology for the hurt this association and endorsement caused. tmc has been terrorizing this fucking fandom for months with his bullshit and bigotry and you have not been passive bystandars but active enablers.

anyways, hope everyone involved gets to uh, heal i suppose, but i think expecting the people who seraf suicide baited, the groups of trans men he misgendered, the people who he targeted and harassed, the genuine fucking long lasting dysphoria he caused real people to have over his shitty takes re: transness and dysphoria, and the general shit behavior he was allowed to keep up with zero pushback from anyone in his circle of the fandom to drop all the anger or frustration they have for the people who enabled him and defended him aggressively is... unrealistic. and makes you look bad. especially when the doc doesnt even clarify which opinions you still support.

#disk horse #abuse ment #long post #also im ngl some of the shit in the doc rly didnt need to be there if it genuinely was just a warning or whatever #also from what my jewish friends have said the whole section about converts not being jewish seems recklessly irresponsible as a thing to #include with any amount of authority re: the status of converts #But whatever.

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adhdsix · 3 years

Text

HI I FORGTO TO POST THIS UM ANWA S i am thinking about the besties (six mono rk and rcg obviously) and i wanted to write down a little. a little thing abt their relationships idk what to call this i am just thinking (this is all my personal thoughts btw u dont have to agree with anything i say but feel free 2 give some of ur own input :] )

OK SO this is sort of long(?) so haha

starting with six; six’s closest buddy is (obviously) mono; they’re basically inseperable and may as well be attached at the side at this point. if you see one and not the other then Run because the other is behind you probably /j because six has never felt as though she has a safe space, she often considers mono her home, whether she realises it or not, and mono feels a similar way they go to each other for help and can communicate sometimes without words, theyre both happy to tolerate each other and theres clearly a bond between them you could see from a mile away. they rarely get seriously upset with each other and when they do they find a comfortable way to work it out. six would probably kill for mono, and he’d gladly die for her in return, even when none of them outright admit it. mono is one of the only people six actually talks to, and the only person allowed to touch her. on top of just being great friends that do truly care for each other in their own ways, they’re also an amazing duo that are great alone but are close to unstoppable together; they both have their own strengths that almost perfectly balance each other out, even when their differences sometimes get in the way, and theres really no situation they cant get out of as a team

next in line is rcg (i will refer 2 her as sandy to make this easier and because i think that is a cute name for her); sandy is like six’s older sister (tbh she is everyones older sister) and theyre both on pretty good terms with each other, shes pretty comfortable with sandy and trusts her a decent amount, if mono isnt around six wont hesitate to come to sandy for help and sandy will happily oblige :] six doesnt say it much but she appreciates that sandy is there to help and puts up with sixs sometimes unruly behavior and overall shenanigans, while sandys glad she can be a sort of guardian figure for six (and most of the other kids) and she finds the trust that the two of them are carefully forming is a great reward (six let her braid parts of her hair once and sandy was so honored, it has never happened again but sandy is determined that it will) last but not least is six’s relationship with rk; they don’t get along the best, and it probably would take a while to get them to really interact, and they definitely like to bicker or poke fun at each other from across the room but eventually, overall they tend to really just stay out of each others business. this proves 2 be hard sometimes though as they are kind of now in the same friend group (playable characters gang!!!!! *partying face emoji*)

despite this theres still quite a few things they can bond over, and theyre both pretty comfortable in the sort of “frenemy” spot. most of the time they really dont mind situations where they have to team up together and just get along for a while, even if they still bully each other throughout nowwww time for mono!!!!!!!!!!! right away six is his best friend, like i said before theyre basically the same person except for the fact that theyre sort of total opposites he just adores her, thinks she is the absolute coolest and is always willing to give her his undivided attention. will obviously tell her off when needed but he’s always gentle and patient with her, and is always on her side, and six lets him know in her own way that she appreciates him greatly he loves to drag her into his activities and make sure shes included like i said before hes always patient with her, and makes sure she’s comfortable, for example when he goes to hug her (or just touch her at all) he’ll wait for a sign from her saying its okay; and if she’d rather be left alone he just sits with her and waits, ready for whenever she needs him for basically anything, and six always does the same for him

next is rcg/sandy!!!! like basically everyone else, he sees her sort of as an older sister, and appreciates her helping out with six’s shenanigans and being there for six when he isnt able to, even for a little bit. they actually make a pretty good team as well, and have tons in common. both of them love trying out new things and usually make plans together, and sandys happy to let him talk whenever he wants; whether he’s ranting, infodumping, or just bored and looking to strike up conversation, shes there to chat with!! also he loves her hugs because she always picks him up and spins him around and again rk!!!! the two of them arent very close but still pretty friendly with each other and always manage to find things to talk about whenever theyre together, mono is always ecstatic to learn more about the nomes and rk happily shares his knowledge mono is also always trying to find ways to bring rk and six closer together, but always respects their boundaries, and rk appreciates it all tons now for sandy/rcg *evilly rubs my paws together* starting with rk! dead buddies ahaha anyways like ive pointed out multiple times rcg sees the others as siblings, and rk is no exception! the two of them spend tons of time together, playing games usually with their nome friends!! sandy often drags him into doing things with her especially when shes trying out something new shes always happy to be there for him whenever he gets nervous about something (which. kinda happens a lot) and rk is there to comfort her in return when needed they share things with each other a lot, whether its information or physical objects or literally anything, they always feel the need to share it with the other now six!! sandy is absolutely stoked to have a younger sister and six enjoys having an older sister as well sandy is always there for six whenever she needs something, and is working hard to gain her trust; she always gets excited whenever six wants to do something together, which in turn often makes six feel appreciated i@dont even know what else to put here she just?? takes care of her very well ! she loves to tease six but always makes sure not to go over the line (kinda applies 2 everyone else aswell) mono!!! sandy adores his attitude and loves chatting with him, theres always something new to talk abt with him! they also have an unspoken “must protect six” code n chat about her a lot (all good things obviously) even if they dont hang out too much she always has fun hangin out w him or getting together to plan stuff !! i probably shouldve formatted this better bc ivre kind of already written rks relationship with everyone else but here we go anyways

rk and sandy!! rk is probably closest to her (and the nomes ofc) and just overall spends a lot of time around her, no matter what he’s doing he loves crafts, and sandy is always glad to join in making things, sometimes they make stuff for eachother they also help out the nomes a lot together!! they make lil shelters/forts for them, sometimes for fun out of pillows and blankets and other times theyre more stable things, or, more often, they help clean out holes in the walls to make them liveable now mono!! rk loves to share his knowledge of the nomes with him, and they bond over other things too; for example both of them are interested in bugs :] actually they both adore most animals and rk is sure to let mono know whenever he finds a cool creature! rk also appreciates that mono tries to help six and rk become a little closer, as usually his schemes are harmless, whether they work or not aaaand six! like i said before theyre not the best of friends and poke fun at eachother a lot, but when they need to team up they’ll somewhat tolerate each other. as much as he wants to, rk finds it hard to forgive six for yknow. eating him. six refuses to be very open about her side of the story, or atleast parts, which makes it a little harder, but theyre working on it and eventually they can atleast tolerate each other on top of that though, theyre also sort of opposites; rk thinks six is just mean and unruly, meanwhile six thinks rk is too soft and somewhat of a doormat but again. overall they learn to put up with each other (barely)

#six rambles #oh my god this #is longer than intended #little nightmares #little nightmares 2 #vln #very little nightmares #headcanons #rk #rcg #six #mono

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