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slashingdisneypasta · 3 years

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Slashers / Horror Villains as: Animated (Children’s) Movie Villain Songs

+ A Nightmare Before Christmas

First of all, its mostly Disney. Second of all, I hope you know that this was a struggle for me.

Also, note, Bubba will be the only Leatherface in this post and Billy and Stu will be the only Ghostfaces. There is Norma Bates though, so sort of a consolation.

There are links to videos on YouTube ^^

~~~

Billy Loomis and Stu Macher / Ghostface: Playing With the Big Boy’s Now (Hotep and Huy, Prince of Egypt)

Well... they’re part of the ‘big boys’, now! They are part of the Slashers group that, uh, ‘inspired them’. Imagine instead of Egyptian Gods, they’re chanting Slasher names.

[HUY] Pick up your silly twig, boy [HOTEP & HUY] You're playing with the big boys now! Ha ha ha ha!

[EGYPTIAN PRIESTS] By the power of Ra Mut, Nut, Khnum, Ptah Sobek, Sekhmet, Sokar, Selket Anubis, Anukis Hemsut, Tefnut, Meshkent, Mafdet...

Chop Top and Nubbins + Bubba Sawyer / Leatherface: Kidnap Mr Sandy Claws (Lock, Shock and Barrel, Nightmare Before Christmas)

I mean... they aren't Drayton’s minions, but they are like this XD

I say that we take a cannon, aim it at his door And then knock three times And when he answers Sandy Claws will be no more

Yes you're so stupid, think now If we blow him up to smithereens We may lose some pieces And then Jack will beat us black and green

Kidnap the Sandy Claws Tie him in a bag

Chucky / Charles Lee Ray: In The Dark Of The Night (Rasputin, Anastasia)

Mystical man? Check! ‘Betrayal’ (As far as he sees it)? Check. Made them pay? Check; I think Nica, Sarah and all the other families he destroys throughout the franchise can attest to that. And ‘One little girl got away’? Well Andy isn’t a girl, but yeah. Check.

I was once the most mystical man in all Russia When the royals betrayed me they mad a mistake My curse made each of them pay But one little girl got away Little Anya, beware Rasputin's awake

Drayton Sawyer: Don’t Fall In Love (Forte, Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas)

Its such a crochety, unessessarily rude way of describing relationships to someone! I mean, I understand completely and resonate deeply with the desire to be alone and not be responsible for anyone else, but- come on! Beast doesn't share your view! Let it go!

Its just like Drayton’s reaction to Bubba having a crush. Super cool video too!

As soon as your heart rules your head Your life is not your own It's hell when someone's always there It's bliss to be alone

And love of any kind is bad A dog, a child, a cat They take up so much precious time Now, where's the sense in that?

Freddy Krueger: No More Mr Nice Guy (Rothbart, Swan Princess)

A man with an uncomfortable relationship with the main female character pretending to be normal and not homicidal for a while before unlocking more power and letting there inner bad guy loose and taking great pleasure in it? Sounds familiar. They also have a similar vocabulary- except of course Rothbart is rated G.

I'll become that nasty, naughty, dirty, spiteful Wicked, wayward, way-delightful Bad guy I was born to be

Lyin' loathesome, never-tender Indiscreet repeat offender No more Mr Nice Guy That's not me

Inkubus: The World’s Greatest Criminal Mind (Professor Rattigan, The Greatest Mouse Detective)

‘Inkubus’ is literally a movie about him listing all his crimes over the centuries and messing with the police force because he has a bone to pick with a detective. Sounds pretty similar to me! Listen to the song! ^^

Now comes the real tour de force Tricky and wicked, of course! My earlier crimes were fine for their times But now that I'm at it again An even grimmer plot has been simmering In my great criminal brain!

Jason Voorhees: Despicable Me (About Gru, Despicable Me)

I... this is all I could think of!! But the more I listen to it and read the lyrics... it f i t s Jason so well! XD Please just let this slide; I know Gru isn't really a villain but he is at the start!! Let me have this.

Why ask why? Better yet "Why not?" Why are you marking x on that spot? Why use a blow torch isn't that hot? Why use a chainsaw? Is that all you got? Why do you like seeing people in shock? But my question to you is "Why not?" Why go to the bank and stand in line Just use a freeze gun it saves me time. I'm havin' a bad, bad day It's about time that I get my way Steam rollin' whatever I see, Huh, despicable me I'm havin' a bad, bad day If you take it personal that's okay Watch, this is so fun to see Huh, despicable me

Jennifer Check: Trust In Me (Kaa, The Jungle Book)

She’s a succubus demon. Tempting boys into a safe-feeling, docile state so she she can strike is her thing.

Will cease to resist Just relax Be at rest Like a bird In a nest

Trust in me Just in me Shut your eyes And trust in me

Mayor Buckman and Granny Boone: Savages (Governor Ratcliffe and the Colonizer’s parts, Pocahontas)

Obviously, because of the (Inaccurate) historical relevance of both movies (Different time’s, same terrible prejudice,) and also because there is definitely a very cult-ish feel about both Governor Ratcliffe’s song and Buckman’s leadership. How easily they’re able to gather support from their people for the most horrible reasons. How horrifying it is to audiences and historians.

They're only good when dead They're vermin, as I said And worse

They're savages! Savages!

Barely even human

Savages! Savages!

Drive them from our shore! They're not like you and me Which means they must be evil We must sound the drums of war!

Michael Myers: The Gospel Truth II (Muses about Hades, Hercules)

In a Disney movie, Michael would have others sing his song about him as he goes about his silent, determined walking XD

If there's one God you don't want to get steamed up It's Hades 'Cause he had an evil plan He ran the underworld But thought the dead were dull and uncouth He was as mean as he was ruthless And that's the gospel truth He had a plan to shake things up And that's the gospel truth

Midnight Man: Oogie Boogie’s Song (Oogie Boogie, Nightmare Before Christmas)

A song about a “Gamblin’ Boogie Man” is perfect for the Midnight Man! He and Oogie could be pals.

Woah! The sound of rollin' dice To me is music in the air 'Cause I'm a gamblin' Boogie Man Although I don't play fair It's much more fun, I must confess When lives are on the line Not mine, of course, but yours, old boy Now that'd be just fine

Norma Bates: Mother Knows Best Reprise (Mother Gothel, Tangled)

Norma is soooooo so so so unbelievably manipulative towards Norman (And Dylan. It just works better on Norman) and this song absolutely presents that. She can go from sweet, loving mother to spiteful, heinous bitch in two seconds if Norman or Dylan don't do what or react the way she wants them to.

Likes you? Please, Rapunzel, that's demented

This is why you never should have left! Dear, this whole romance that you've invented, Just proves you're too naive to be here Why would he like you? Come on now, really! Look at you, you think that he's impressed? Don't be a dummy Come with mummy

Pamela Voorhees: My Lullaby (Zira, The Lion King 2)

In a opposite approach to a villainous mother to Norma, we have Pam, who was heartbroken by the camp councillors letting her son die and vowed to get revenge. She didn't know she was teaching Jason to be the Crystal Lake killer like Zira did, but she did, and the whole song does have her kind of feel to it also.

Sleep, my little Kovu Let your dreams take wing One day when you're big and strong You will be a kingI've been exiled, persecuted Left alone with no defense When I think of what that brute did I get a little tense But I dream a dream so pretty That I don't feel so depressed 'Cause it soothes my inner kitty And it helps me get some rest

Patrick Bateman: Cruella De Vil (Arthur, 101 Dalmations)

Never before was there a song that described audiences reaction to watching Patrick living in his daily life and hearing his thoughts better then this one.

Cruella De Vil Cruella De Vil If she doesn't scare you No evil thing will To see her is to Take a sudden chill Cruella, Cruella De Vil

The curl of her lips The ice in her stare All innocent children Had better beware She's like a spider waiting For the kill Look out for Cruella De Vil

Pennywise (Both): You’re Only Second Rate (Jafar, Return of Jafar)

Mostly for the video and Jafar’s energy in this scene actually XD So many transformations, so many tasteless puns! I was going to give this to Freddy but its the closest thing to Penny I could think of.

Go ahead and zap me with the big surprise Snap me in a trap, cut me down to size I'll make a great escape It's just a piece of cake You're only second rate You know your hocus-pocus isn't tough enough And your mumbo-jumbo doesn't measure up Let me pontificate upon your sorry state You're only second rate

Sheriff Hoyt / Charlie Hewitt: Hellfire (Judge Claude Frollo, Hunchback of Notre Dame)

A nasty filthy man who think’s he’s in the right despite being the biggest creep and monster ever? Mhm.

*Note: I honestly didn't notice the deformed baby, Quasimodo/Thomas link until the day after I wrote this. Don't know how I feel about it. I mean, Hoyt is actually nice, in his way, to Thomas so the connection isn't totally there but onwards:

Beata Maria You know I am a righteous man Of my virtue I am justly proud

Beata Maria You know I'm so much purer than The common, vulgar, weak, licentious crowd

End of Post! 🌼

(Bonus’ under the cut)

I did think of other connections which I obviously didnt landed on but still have merit! Here!

Billy Loomis and Stu Macher: ‘Gaston’ was considered, but that would have just been a joke XD I don’t think Stu is quite as obsessed with Billy as LeFou is with Gaston.

Chucky: Friends on the Other Side. Obviously! That link was actually what inspired me to make this post. In The Dark of Night fits to a T though.

Freddy Krueger: You’re Only Second Rate! Ah, its perfectttt. But No More Mr Nice Guy fits better. If I ever do a Slashers as Disney Villains post, he’ll be Jafar for sure. Or Hades. Or Scar. Or Oogie. Probably Hades. You know what? Without the gore and blood and explicit sexual references, Freddy could be a Disney Villain himself. Its not like Disney hasn't towed the line before with perverted villains. >_> (Jafar and Frollo)

Jason and Pamela Voorhees: Mother Knows Best! Of course.

Jennifer Check: Love is For Peasants (Barbie Island Princess) Because Jennifer thinks like this:

Men? <<< Literally anything else.

Patrick Bateman: How Can I Refuse? (From Barbie Princess and the Pauper) XD If Patrick were a kids movie villain, he would totally join the ranks of corrupted usurpers pretending to be trustworthy royal advisory staff. Also ‘Let It Die’, that little interruption part of another song that O’Hare sings in the Lorax and ‘How Bad Can I be?’.

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omgrachwrites · 4 years

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Family - Charlie Weasley

Charlie Weasley x Reader

Summary: You never thought that you would belong in any family, that was until you realised that sometimes, you could choose your own family.

Warnings: fluff, angst

Words: 1470

Disclaimer: This gif doesn’t belong to me!

A/N: I am so not consistent with my length of chapters! There will only be a couple more parts of this, I hope you guys enjoy and please let me know what you think and let me know if you would like to be tagged.

< previous part next part >

Part Four

It had been a couple of months since you had had that awkward, disappointing conversation with Charlie Weasley in the Gryffindor changing room. Unfortunately, you remembered that conversation almost perfectly, he had invited you to Hogsmeade and you thought that he was asking you out. He wasn’t. Things had been okay between you – if awkward could be defined as ‘okay’ – though Charlie had been acting weird lately.

Over the past couple of months, you had been hanging out with him and his group of friends who welcomed you with open arms despite who you were you imagined that Charlie had told them all to be nice. Among this group of friends you discovered that you had a cousin, Nymphadora Tonks, a spunky Hufflepuff who preferred to go by her surname and she spent most of her time in detention.

For all of your life, you had thought that your mother only had one sister; she had never told you about Tonks’ mum, Andromeda who had apparently disgraced the family just because she married a Muggle. There was one downside to hanging out with Charlie, however, what had started out as a small crush had evolved into a huge one.

You winced as you took a sip of the extra sweet Butterbeer that Tonks had just placed in front of you, “don’t you like it?” Tonks pouted and you giggled.

“It’s just a bit too sweet for me. So, where’s Charlie? It’s not like him to miss out on both Zonkos and Honeydukes.”

Tonks grinned and ran a hand through her pastel blue hair that was the third hair colour she’d had that morning, “he’s getting things organised for the party tonight.”

You frowned at your cousin; you hadn’t heard anything about a party, “what party?”

Tonks’ eyes widened slightly, “I’m sorry, I thought you knew, every year since 5th year Charlie throws a party in the Room of Requirement so that people from other houses can attend,” there was a brief silence, “I thought that he invited you.”

“No,” you whispered, feeling a pang in your chest, you thought that it was sweet of Charlie to throw a party where everybody could attend but it hurt that he hadn’t seen fit to invite you. You weren’t sure whether he had feelings for you but above all, you thought that you were friends.

“Well, I’m inviting you, it’s gonna be rubbish if you’re not there,” Tonks said softly as she reached across the table and took your hand. You grinned at her gratefully; she was definitely your favourite.

About ten minutes later, Charlie came walking in, ruffling his hair, cherry blossom petals falling from it as he did so. You forced out a weak smile as he threw himself down at the table. Instead of being a mature adult about this predicament you looked at the handsome boy, “what time is the party tonight Charlie?”

At your question, he glared over at Tonks who immediately ducked her head with a sly smile, “it starts at 7pm but really Y/N, I don’t think it will be your scene.”

“Don’t be silly,” you scoffed, narrowing your eyes, “I’ll be there,” you weren’t sad anymore, you were just pissed off. You had no idea why he was acting like this.

At about ten to seven, you paced in front of the Room of Requirement a couple of times with your eyes shut tight, opening them when you heard a pop, you smiled as you walked through the door. Tonks immediately greeted you with a hug, causing you to giggle as you were knocked slightly off balance.

“You look so beautiful, Y/N,” Tonks grinned as she slid her fingers through the ends of your soft hair.

“Thank you so much, you look great too!” you gestured at her punk rock shirt and held out the cake tin, “I made a cake, I modified an old family recipe, it’s not as bitter,” you laughed.

Tonks’ eyes lit up with delight as she took the cake from you, “I’ll go and find the host, thank you so much for making it Y/N, you didn’t have to.”

“No wait,” you quickly stopped her before she could find Charlie, “it’s um actually for you, after all it was you who invited me here in the first place,” you stammered and Tonks gave you a dimpled smile.

You had to hand it to Charlie – you had managed to avoid him, it was hard because he just looked so good – he knew how to throw a party. There were so many people that you’d never spoken to before and it was so interesting to talk to them. Mostly, you had ended up talking to an adorable Gryffindor named Ben Copper who was a scaredy cat at first but he evolved into a chatter box when he realised that you weren’t going to bully him.

A couple of hours into the party, Tonks suggested a game of truth or dare, “okay,” Tonks hummed and looked at Charlie, “truth or dare dragon-boy?”

Charlie scoffed, leaning back on one hand, “dare, obviously.”

Tonks’ face lit up with a cheeky smirk and she glanced over at you before looking back at Charlie, you narrowed your eyes, wondering what she was up to, “I dare you to kiss, Y/N.”

You glared at Tonks as your whole body went warm and you glanced nervously over at Charlie. He was already gazing at you with those gorgeous moss green eyes of his; he licked his bottom lip and leaned closer to you with an unreadable expression on his face as he cupped your jaw. He got so close to you that you could smell his musky aftershave and you saw that he had some brown in his eyes.

Charlie hesitated and you gulped as you stared at his lips, you just wanted him to kiss you. It wasn’t just because you had a crush on him, it was because of the silence that fell over the party, you didn’t want it to get awkward.

He finally sighed and pulled away from you, “I can’t, I’m sorry,” your eyes filled up with tears and you could feel everyone’s eyes on you.

Tonks spoke up to quell the awkward silence, “you know the penalty for a failed dare, Weasley,” she shook her head and poured him a shot of Firewhisky. Charlie proceeded to take it, pulling a face at the strong hot taste, “Y/N, have some cauldron cakes,” your cousin smiled at you as she offered you the plate.

You shook your head quickly, “excuse me, I seem to have lost my appetite,” you mumbled, almost running out of the party.

“Y/N, wait!” Charlie called out, at the sound of his voice you walked quicker, tears falling from your eyes, “please, slow down!” he panted.

You spun around and fixed him in place with a furious stare, causing the tall boy to falter, “look, you don’t have feelings for me. I get it,” you had to accept it no matter how much it hurt, “but how awful must you find me? It’s a stupid game, was it really that hard to just pucker up and kiss me?”

Charlie’s eyes darkened as he strode towards you and kissed you. His lips were so warm and soft that you longed to kiss him back but you were still angry at him, “what the hell Charlie?!” you yelled and pushed him away.

“Uh-oh, you only call me Charlie when you’re really angry with me,” he chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck and sighing when you gave him the dirtiest look you could muster, you weren’t letting him off without an explanation, “I like you okay!” he said and although your heart was relieved you were still angry, “you’re just so beautiful and kind, and smart.”

You blushed at his words, your hard eyes softening as you cupped his cheek, “why is it such a bad thing that you like me?”

Charlie groaned, chewing on his bottom lip as he looked deep into your eyes, “because I feel selfish. What if you regret it? Because of your family.”

You giggled, you had to admit, you understood where he was coming from, he looked offended as you laughed at him, “and what if I don’t regret it Charlie? Nobody can know the future, not really. I like you too,” you smiled and kissed him softly, sighing when you felt him melt into your kiss, “you’re an idiot Weasley.”

“I know,” he chuckled, kissing you again.

The both of you went back to the party after about half an hour and you were greeted warmly by everybody. This was your true family, a family where nobody was judged by their sexual orientation, gender identity or blood status. You belonged here and you always would.

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@meteora-fc

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shotgun--rider · 4 years

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Fake It Till You Make It - Three

A Sam x Reader Series

PART THREE

Y/N knows it’s a bad idea to try telling her family that she’s dating Sam Winchester. But it’s just for the week of her sister’s wedding, and it’s all fake anyway. What could go wrong?

Word Count: 3900

Warnings: plus size! Reader, fatphobic & diet comments, Y/N’s family are demons, allusions to drug use, cuddly Sam

A/N: We’re getting somewhere! Also, Tom the baker is based on a grocery store cashier from my childhood. She was about seventy and would always tell my mom she remembered when my mom was pregnant with me, and then comment that I was growing so fast and when was I getting married. The kicker was that my mom didn’t start shopping at that grocery store until after I was born. Shout out to Rosie.

In the cold light of day, waking up on the bedroom floor with a Sam Winchester-shaped octopus wrapped around you was a lot more panic-inducing than you’d expected. Then again, you’d somehow gone from one fairly innocent arm slung across your waist to being wrapped up and tucked against his chest, legs tangled up and Sam’s face mostly pressed into your neck.

You wondered briefly if he had enough room to breathe, immediately snapping at yourself that that was hardly the most pressing issue here. Your very fake boyfriend was using you as a human teddy bear and you had no idea how to escape, not without waking him. And waking Sam was very much not an option right now. As long as you somehow got out of this without his knowledge, you wouldn’t have to wade through the awkwardness or hear him try to politely tell you it meant nothing. You wouldn’t have to see the look on his face when he realized he’d snuggled himself up to--well, to someone like you. You’d heard it all before, of course, but hearing it from Sam would be infinitely worse.

Cursing silently to yourself, you glanced down at Sam to ascertain how deeply he seemed to be sleeping, your entire body tensing when you were met with one sleepy hazel eye already blinking at you. “Hi,” Sam mumbled into your hair, like this was completely normal.

“Hi,” you managed to squeak back, kicking yourself for not moving when you’d woken up in the middle of the night. This was what you got for thinking with the part of your brain that seemed to exist purely to drool over Sam friggin Winchester.

He seemed to suddenly notice how stiffly you were holding yourself, and raised his head to look at you, looking entirely non-threatening and far too sweet with his fluffed-up hair and the crease of the sheet you’d been sleeping on pressed into his cheek. “Are you okay?”

“Uh-huh,” you returned dumbly, caught somewhere between get out get away run away now and continuing to stare at his face. “I don’t know, could you just...um...let...go?” you fumbled through, looking pointedly down at his arms banded around your stomach.

Sam looked like he was still half asleep, following your gaze in confusion for a moment before hastily pulling his arms away from you. “Sorry,”

You were scrambling up the second he let go, beating a hasty retreat to the bathroom without sparing a look for the man still sprawled out on the floor, scolding yourself for your idiocy the whole way. You went through getting ready almost angrily, berating yourself for getting into a situation that taunted you with what you couldn’t have and embarrassed you in the process. Still with the toothbrush clamped in your mouth, you grabbed your phone and shot off a text to Charlie: Who TF thought this was a good idea????

Her response was almost immediate. Good morning to you too.

You: Char I’m serious. Should have just brought you and said I was a flaming lesbian.

Charlie: Except for that you’re still totally into Sam

You: Not. Helping.

Charlie: You could always just tell him that.

You didn’t bother giving her a response, rolling your eyes in the mirror and putting your phone back down. Charlie had always been that way, relentlessly urging you to go for whatever it was, eternally confident that it would work out in your favor. Experience had told you it usually didn’t. And you didn’t even need past experience to know how “fat girl asks out the hot guy” ended.

Giving yourself one last look in the mirror, you steeled yourself to walk back out of the bathroom. The best option, of course, was just to ignore the morning’s situation, which you imagined Sam would be equally on board with. After all, it had to be at least a little awkward for him too, waking up curled around someone he thought of as basically family. Or at least that was what you were telling yourself.

Sam was already dressed when you reentered the bedroom, and you spared a second to firmly remind yourself that nothing productive would come out of you staring at his ass in a pair of jeans. He spun as soon as he heard the door open, a faint blush of color still on his cheeks. “Hey, Y/N, I--”

“So I need to go pick up a cake today,” you blurted before he could finish, “and flowers. Is it cool if we use your car?”

Sam stared at you uncomprehendingly for a long moment, his eyebrows furrowing up. “What? I didn’t--yeah. Okay. Do you want me to come?”

Somehow you’d made him look like a kicked puppy and this was not the morning you’d been aiming for. “Unless you’d rather stay here,” you arched an eyebrow dryly, trying for humor. “Get stared at by my family like a zoo animal,”

Sam’s smile didn’t reach his eyes, but he just shrugged. “I’ll come if you want,”

“Okay,” you returned briskly, using the excuse of grabbing your wallet to break up the sudden tension in the room and give you something to do.

The two of you made it downstairs without any major incidents, hastily skirting past the room where your Aunt Abaddon could be heard shrieking angrily, and you exhaled in relief when you finally made it out to where Sam’s car was parked on the driveway. He immediately went around to the passenger’s side, while you paused in front of the grill. “You don’t want to drive?”

He shrugged easily. “You know the area better than I do,”

Somehow, driving his car felt like more of an intrusion than it had when you were just driving up to the estate, but you sighed and climbed behind the wheel, wondering for the millionth time why anybody had ever thought this was a good idea. Just get over it, Y/N. You forced yourself to smile at Sam. “Florist first? So the cake doesn’t start melting?”

He still had a little bit of the kicked-puppy expression, but he nodded easily, turning to something on his phone while you pulled out of the drive. Way to go, Y/N. Is there anything you can’t fuck up?

The pickup from the florist went off without a hitch, and soon Sam’s backseat was stuffed full of sweet-smelling bouquets wiggling cheerfully with the movement of the car. Say what you would about Ruby, but she did know how to pick a good color scheme.

More pressing than the flowers, though, was the fact that Sam hadn’t said a word to you so far beyond what was necessary to load the bouquets without crushing them. You could feel his eyes on you when you were looking at the road, but he’d stayed silent for the entire drive to the bakery Ruby had ordered from.

You’d half expected to leave him in the car, but he followed you inside dutifully, standing a few steps off to the side while you gave Ruby’s name to the girl at the counter.

“Y/N!”

You winced, turning to greet the baker with a hopefully-genuine smile. He was a friend of your mother’s more than anyone, but he’d always been polite to you, if terribly pushy. “Hi, Tom. I’m just here for Ruby’s cakes,”

The big man looked over your shoulder with a wiggling eyebrow. “And when am I going to make yours, hmm?”

You stared at him, uncomprehending. “Sorry, make my what?”

“Your wedding cake!” he went on cheerfully. “This young man’s yours, isn’t he?”

“Uh,” you turned hastily to look at Sam, who reached for your hand with a swift, reassuring smile.

“Yes,” Sam answered for you, and you briefly considered the merits of stepping on his foot. You didn’t need to sell this lie to everyone in the tri-state area, for god’s sake. On the other hand, that would mean letting go of his hand, which you really didn’t want to do.

“I thought so!” Tom announced triumphantly. “What’s your name, son?”

Sam dropped your hand to reach over the glass display case and shake Tom’s. “Sam Winchester, sir,”

You blinked at the scene unfolding in front of you, wondering if it would be more or less painful to watch a train wreck in action. Of all people, of course you had to run into nosy old Tom. The conversation went on over your head for a few more minutes, with Sam explaining his law career briefly and then doing a lot of nodding and smiling and casually touching you while Tom went rambling on about seeing you as a small child with your mother.

You weren’t even sure what story he was telling, and given the fact that you only came up to Aunt Abaddon’s a few times a year at best, it was entirely possible he was mixing you up with some other mother and child. More than likely, in fact, since you found it hard to believe your mother would have ever taken you somewhere with a lot of calories and sugar.

“You’d better take good care of her, now.”

Sam’s hand slid to hover at your lower back. “Of course.”

You cleared your throat roughly, looking up at Tom. “So, uh, the cake?”

“Yes, yes, of course! Now, you just let your man there take care of this,” Tom slid three enormous boxes toward Sam, “and I’ll get you rung out,”

That would normally be a job for the cashier girl, but no one really ever bothered arguing with Tom. Handing over the car keys to Sam with an apologetic wince, you trailed over to the register, digging out your card in advance in the hope of making this fast.

“I like him,” Tom announced, pulling up the order sheet on a clipboard. He peered at you over the glasses on the end of his nose, studying you. “Why do you look awkward?”

“Uh,” you stuttered eloquently. “Well it’s just that Sam and I, we’re kind of...I mean it hasn’t been all that long, I just--” It’s fake. You wanted to scream. The whole thing is fake and he’s just being nice and I know that and I still want to keep him. Like, forever.

Tom’s eyebrow arched as he slid your card through the reader. “But you do know he’s in love with you, don’t you?”

You swallowed hard. “Oh, I don’t think--I mean, no?”

The old baker frowned, taking his time wrapping the receipt up around your card. “That’s how he looks at you.”

“O...kay,” you chirped out cheerfully. “Thanks Tom, bye Tom,” You scurried out the front door of the shop before he could yell anything else after you, breathing a sigh of relief that was immediately cut off in your chest at the sight of Sam, busy sliding flowers around in the backseat to make room for the cakes. That’s how he looks at you.

As if he’d somehow heard your thoughts, Sam paused in his wedding-themed backseat Tetris puzzle, looking up over the top of the car door at you and lighting up with the brightest smile you thought you’d ever seen on his face. Your heart clenched at the sight of him, and you wondered suddenly what the hell you were going to do when the wedding was over. God, I am so screwed.

“Sorry about Tom,” you said aloud instead, automatically taking one of the boxes out of Sam’s hand while he wrestled the plant he’d been supporting with his hip. “And sorry there’s so much crap in your car.”

Sam just chuckled, fitting the last of the cakes inside and carefully closing the door, lest he behead any of the bouquets. “It’s not a big deal, Y/N,”

“I still feel bad,” You weren’t sure if you were apologizing for commandeering his car or for everything else you’d messed up.

“Well, don’t,” Sam said stoutly, and that was that. He watched you get back into the driver’s seat, your hands on the wheel and a pout on your face. “What?”

Your nose wrinkled, your foot steady on the brake even though you knew you should be driving back. “I just realized how much I don’t want to go back,” you confessed. “I’m just whining, I know…”

Sam reached out, laying his hand on your shoulder easily. “Switch with me,” he said suddenly, making you blink.

“What?”

“Switch with me,” he repeated, his hand vacating your shoulder to hit the button releasing your seatbelt. “Let me drive,”

You had no idea where he was going with this, but you got out of the car anyway, doing some imitation of a two-person Chinese fire drill in Tom’s parking lot. While you settled yourself into the passenger seat, sparing a nervous glance for the flowers in the backseat, Sam pulled out of the lot, looked both ways, and promptly turned down the road leading directly away from your estate. “Sam,” you hissed out. “What are you doing?”

“Not taking you home?”

“Sam, if the cakes melt Ruby will kill me,”

“Well, they’re not ice cream cakes,” Sam said reasonably, reaching for the A/C dial. “There.”

“I haven’t been so concerned about anything since I babysat small children,” you said wryly. “God, I hope nothing dies,”

“They’re cut flowers, Y/N, they’re already dying,” Sam deadpanned, taking another arbitrary turn that put you even further from Abaddon’s.

You tilted your head at him, a laugh escaping you in spite of yourself. “Have you always been like this and I just didn’t notice?”

“You just listen to Dean talking about me,”

That was probably true, you reflected. Dean’s narrative of his brother, while undoubtedly very loving, boiled down to “nerd, lawyer, smart, goes for runs and doesn’t like bacon” most of the time. You didn’t answer immediately, just studying Sam while he drove fairly aimlessly, somehow leaving you lighter than you’d felt all day. “Seriously, though. Where are we going?”

Sam bit his lip briefly, turning to look at you with his forehead wrinkled in concern. “I don’t...know. I might be lost,”

You burst out laughing in the passenger seat, jerking forward so hard that the seatbelt’s automatic stop kicked in, holding you dangling against the belt while tears ran down your face. Sam pulled over on the shoulder, his eyes crinkled up as he watched you laughing at him, and when you finally straightened up and wiped your eyes, he was smiling fondly at you. “Why did I let you drive?” you asked dryly, before turning over your shoulder and glancing back down the road. “Okay, turn around and turn left at the first intersection,”

Sam followed your directions without question, and if you’d have been a bit bolder--and hadn’t had Ruby’s bridal bouquet in the backseat--you might have kept directing him straight to the interstate. As it was, you led him to the little park a few miles behind your aunt’s property, pointing out the window to the creek that was visible from the road.

“Meg fell in when we were kids,” you narrated, smiling vaguely at the memory. “I was twelve, it was Easter, and we got this brilliant idea to sneak away from dinner and go run to the creek. She just kind of tipped over,” you giggled softly as you recalled the day. “It was an early Easter that year, too, so of course the water was freezing.”

You shook your head. “Then she convinced me that Uncle Az was going to kill her for getting wet, so we snuck her upstairs to steal Abaddon’s hair dryer. We thought we could somehow dry her clothes, I don’t know. Anyway, my aunt found us, sitting on her bathroom floor in a puddle of creek water. That was the only time I’ve ever seen her laugh. She always liked Meg more,”

Sam had listened to you with rapt attention, and now he tilted his head in the direction of the park and its little creek. “Show me?”

You couldn’t deny the little rush of happiness up in your chest at the question, and you made a face at him over the top of the car as you both scrambled out. “If you get me wet I really will kill you, Sam Winchester.”

“Noted,” He jogged around the car, hopping over the curb to catch up with you, and stuck close to your side as you both walked through the grass. For a moment, you almost reached out to grab his hand, reminding yourself at the last second that you didn’t need to. No one was watching. You didn’t need to play the charade. And that was all it was, you reminded yourself firmly.

You reached the little creek a few minutes later, Sam sitting down on a boulder while you peeked down the sloped bank into the water. “Is that your favorite memory?” he asked after a moment.

“Probably, yeah,” you shrugged, trying to make it casual. “Most of the rest of them I was either getting blamed for something Ruby did or told to go on a diet.”

Sam frowned at you, reaching his hand out to you. You took it hesitantly, letting him pull you closer to his boulder without really knowing what he was trying to accomplish. “You shouldn’t have had to deal with that, Y/N,” he said seriously, tugging on your hand gently again as you realized he was trying to get you to sit down with him.

“Don’t Sam, I’m too heavy,”

“You’re not,” Sam said firmly, pulling your hand just hard enough to unbalance you. You fell with a squeak, landing easily across his legs, and to your immense relief, nobody died. “See?” he smiled at you.

“Okay, you’ve proved your point, Mr. Lawyer,” you feigned a grumpy expression, trying not to give any attention to the butterflies that had decided to take up residence somewhere in your stomach.

“Good,” Sam murmured. He leaned his head briefly on your shoulder, and for just that moment, it felt like you were in your own little bubble, and everything was perfect. And then your phone rang.

“Y/N where the fuck are you? Did they fuck up the order or something?”

“No,” you said hastily. “No, everything’s fine. They’re all safe and sound in Sam’s backseat.” God, you really did sound like you were talking about children. Beside you, Sam was stifling a laugh and you elbowed his chest lightly.

“Okay so then where are you? Gramma wants to see the flowers,” Ruby snapped impatiently. “I figured you’d be able to get this done for me, Y/N.”

“Coming,” you sighed out, and Sam squeezed your free hand reassuringly. “We’re coming.”

“Did you stop for car sex? That’s gross.”

“No, Ruby,” you glanced at Sam. “We did not stop for car sex.”

Sam snorted, loud enough that Ruby definitely heard him. Figuring you’d gotten the necessary communication over with, you opted to just hang up before she could start shrieking again.

“That would be our cue,” you said wryly, hopping up off of Sam’s lap. Your foot came down on a half-buried rock as you shifted to standing, your ankle rolling sideways and your balance faltering.

Sam’s arms came around your waist just as you were pinwheeling your arms, preparing to take a dive into the creek. You yelped, hearing a reassuring laugh from Sam as he pulled you away from the edge of the creek bank. “I’ve got you. You did tell me not to let you get wet.”

Your adrenaline rush had melted into a fit of giggles, and you let Sam hang on to you on flat ground while you laughed, totally at ease. And right there you decided that even if it was going to suck when the wedding was over, at least you would have had this week. You followed Sam back to the car still laughing, and he didn’t let go of your hand.

Gramma Lilith was on the driveway when you finally pulled up, hands on her hips, white skirt billowing in the wind, and possibly more botox in her lips than the last time you’d seen her. “Took you long enough!” she was shouting before either of you had gotten a car door open. Not that it mattered; you could hear her shrill voice anyway.

You and Sam both hastened to the backseat, pulling out bouquets and potted flowers in an attempt to placate her. It only served to bring Ruby outside to stand beside her grandmother, both of them snipping at you while simultaneously complimenting Ruby’s choices. It made your head ache just listening to the two of them.

“Ruby, the cakes should go in the fridge,” you tried, holding the boxes out to her in the hope that it might motivate her to actually do something instead of watching you.

“So what are you waiting for?” your sister asked instead. You sighed, trekking into the house with the cake boxes and sliding them into the fridge, thanking the heavens for small mercies that there was enough room without having to also play Tetris with the food.

You got back out onto the driveway just in time to hear your grandmother turn her attention to Sam. “Are you where my salad went, boy?” she asked shrewdly, hands on her hips.

Sam froze, halfway out of the backseat with a pile of flowers in his arms. “Well,”

“Gramma,” you hurried to interrupt, but she wasn’t having it.

“I don’t care,” she went on, still looking at the moose-in-the-headlights. “But I do appreciate straight answers.”

Sam swallowed and straightened up, arms still full of purple flowers. “Yes ma’am. I was...hungry.”

You had been valiantly biting your lip through the entire exchange, but between his awkward reply and the look on your grandmother’s face, you burst out into a fit of giggles, diving into the backseat hastily to cover it up with more flowers.

Lilith humphed, her eyes flitting between you and Sam. “You don’t deserve someone like her,” your grandmother informed him, having evidently decided he was alright. And all of you knew that she meant it in that Sam deserved better than you, but he just smiled and caught up to you in front of the car.

“I know,” he said, and then he leaned down and captured your lips in a kiss, crushing the flowers between you as he wrapped an arm around your waist. It was surprisingly heady, tinged with desperation as Sam devoured your lips, tongue sliding and teeth clashing once in his haste. You were drunk on it, on him, reaching your free hand up to tangle in his hair as you rose up onto your tiptoes, trying to fight the height difference, your audience completely forgotten. No one had ever kissed you like that before.

And then Sam was pulling back, eyes almost black as he stared at you but somehow keeping his composure as he moved to finish taking the flowers into the house like he hadn’t just kissed you senseless.

Ruby and Lilith looked equally stunned at the display, and somewhere in the back of your brain, you remembered that that was why he’d done it, that it was all part of a show and that if you were a real couple, you’d have kissed plenty of times already. But as you stood speechless in the driveway, all you could really think about was him. There was no way you’d survive this wedding.

tags: @vicmc624, @thebookisbtr, @alicedopey

#supernatural fanfiction #sam winchester x reader #sam winchester #sam x reader #x reader #reader insert #supernatural #spn #series

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snarkwrites · 3 years

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06 | gangsta ; sweetpea

Notes:

So.. the sexual tension. The longing. The lingering touches and all that awkward but cute shit.. That’s starting here. Can we say sloooow burn? Because considering I’m now six chapters deep and they really haven’t... Done too much as far as touching / flirting / interacting, yeah.. That’s what this is. If you weren’t looking for a slow burn, I’m honestly not sure what to tell you? Other than oops? Oh.. Also.. this chapter and the next one I’m posting will have a few days lapse between them as far as timing. So... just so you know. It’s alluded that Sweet Pea and Alyssa have kind of bumped into each other between this chapter and the next one, if that makes sense.

Also.. I’ve pretty much planned out what stuff I am using / changing a little now, so that’s good. I have a general idea. I might even add my own events / plots to this. I’m kind of.. tempted.

Warnings:

non canon compliant - this is the biggest warning, so if you’re into things that follow exact canon plot you are... definitely not going to like this. angst & slow burn, heavy sexual tension starting now, actually - this is just so everyone who started reading this thinking the smut would transpire in a hurry knows that apparently, it is not. violence / swearing & fighting, possible underage drinking and other shenanigans - look.. it’s high school. shit happens. also apparently, my ofc Alyssa uses the word fuck like all the time?... eventual sexual content / a virgin original character - this one is self explanatory. yes, i plan to write a smutty chapter in this at some point. when? i don’t rightly know. it’s got a while before we get there.

Pairing:

Andrews!Sibling OFC, Alyssa x Sweet Pea

Other Parts:

[ one - two - three - four - five - soundtrack ]

Other Stuff:

[ faq - tag list doc ]

Tagging:

@brithedemonspawn is the only person on my Riverdale tag list. If you’d like to be tagged for this story by all means.. Please let me know. Please, I beg. It’d make me super duper happy!!!

SIX.

“You could come up to the lake house with us. It beats sitting around here moping.” Veronica spoke up as she stepped in front of the television set in my father’s living room. I tried to peer around her, grumbling because naturally, she’d pick the one scene in the entire episode I’d been dying to see since I started to re-watch the show and she’d block it.

“You realize I am trying to see Charlie Hunnam’s bare ass right now, right?” I asked calmly. Reaching for the half melted pint of butter pecan ice cream on the table in front of me and my spoon. Nodding to the empty spot on the couch that wasn’t taken up by my legs. Veronica sat down and for a few minutes, neither of us really said anything.

“What’s your attraction to this show?”

“Jax Teller, Opie Winston... Motorcycles.. But mostly Jax Teller.”

“Which one is he?”

“The blond with the very nice backside.” I nodded towards the shot I’d been waiting an entire season for, Jax Teller getting out of the shower and walking across the room.

“You definitely don’t have a type, no, not at all.” Veronica gave a soft laugh as she muttered the words. With the scene out of the way, I turned to the side to look at her.

“I’m not even going to ask what you meant by that.” I muttered.

Things were always awkward and tense between us. We were polite. But that was about the extent of it. And I felt bad about it. Obviously not bad enough to actually make an effort, even though she seemed like a really nice girl and she made my brother really happy. Happier than he’s been in a long time if I’m being honest.

I just couldn’t get past the rift her family caused in mine.

Then there was her mother, trying to hook up with my father while her actual husband was locked up in prison… But mostly, the tension her father caused between my father and my brother.

“Listen.. I heard everything that happened between you and Reggie. And if you want to come to the lake house..”

I shook my head. “ I am not crashing on the whole double date getaway you guys have going on. Besides, I doubt I’d be good company right now.”

“You wouldn’t be crashing!” Veronica was quick to speak up. “I know you don’t like me. But your brother loves you and I really.. I want to try to get to know you.”

I nodded. Taking a deep breath as I admitted quietly, “It’s not you, okay? Look. I have zero problem with you. It’s all the crap that’s going on with my brother and your dad. I’m… I’m worried about him and how far he’ll go.”

Veronica sighed. We went quiet again and she admitted after a few minutes, “I am too. If you want the truth, I don’t really like how close my dad is to him either. I don’t trust it.”

I eyed her, a brow raised.

“That’s like a dream situation though. If your father likes him, you don’t have to worry about him resorting to any of his typical clownery to end things with you two.” I curled the ends of my hair around my fingertip as I tried to understand why she wouldn’t like her father and my brother bonding a little.

Then it hit me. It had to feel awkward. Your father popping in to borrow your boyfriend. But the look on her face told me that wasn’t the only reason.

“I know what my father’s capable of. And the more I try to stop it, the more he manages to get by with. I hate everything he’s done, okay? I just.. Wanted you to know that.”

I let her words sink in.

Eyeing her as I weighed mine. Managing a smile.

“You make my brother happy. I like him happy. So if you really want to try and get to know each other, we can. But I’m not going to intrude on you guys weekend get away, because one, awkward as hell and two, I can imagine that already happens enough with your dad butting in to get him to do something or another.”

Veronica nodded, smiling. “I understand. What are you going to do this weekend?”

“Honestly?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m probably going to rewind that one scene five million times and burn it in my mind… I thought about going down to the theater and catching that horror marathon but I dunno.” I shrugged.

“A horror movie by yourself?”

“Mhm.”

After my brother came downstairs, the two of them left for the weekend and I locked the door behind them, leaning against it. Wandering over to my dad’s stereo, turning it on a hard rock station I listened to when I was home by myself just to drive out the lack of noise in the house.

I wandered into the kitchen, gathering up dirty dishes and moving them to the sink. Taking chicken out of our freezer to thaw because I thought about making chicken parmesan for me and dad when dad got off work tonight.

Vegas wandered into the kitchen and dropped his leash at my feet with a soft thud. I stopped what I was doing to lean down and pet him, nodding to the door. “In a few minutes, buddy. I’ll go find pants.”

I finished piling dishes into the sink and I wandered into the laundry room, digging around in the dryer for the jeans I’d taken off earlier, tugging them up. The door bell was literally being leaned on and I froze.

Took a few deep breaths and reminded myself that all the Black Hood nonsense was behind Riverdale because the guy was dead. Thinking it was Archie and he forgot something and was in a hurry, I made my way over to the door, unlocking it. “Hold on, Archie, damn.”

It wasn’t Archie.

Reggie stood there.

“What do you want?” I scowled.

“I miss you, okay? This is driving me crazy. Can we at least just talk about what you heard?”

“What exactly is there left to say? You were basically gambling on my virginity.” I frowned and shook my head. Shivering as the wind picked up a little.

“We can go inside and talk, Alyssa.”

“I just told you. I have absolutely nothing to say to you. Look… what you did hurt, okay? Because I thought… nevermind.” I muttered, going quiet. Blowing at bangs I’d just gotten cut earlier in the week. He reached out to attempt pushing my hair out of my eyes and I leaned away. Vegas yelped impatiently from the doorway, his leash in his mouth now.

Seeing Reggie, he started to make his way over. Reggie bent to pet the dog and I cleared my throat. “You need to go.”

“Just let me say what I came to say.”

I tapped a bare foot against white painted wood slats and tilted my head, gazing up at him. Waiting.

“The only reason I made the stupid bet to begin with is because you’re literally the one girl I couldn’t work up the nerve to flirt with. And when I did, my charm didn’t work on you. Kinda when I started to fall. You gave me a hard time, princess.”

“ I kind of wish I’d stuck to that, actually.” I muttered. “All you had to do, Reggie, was just talk to me? Ask me on a date, I don’t know…”

“I was stupid, okay?” Reggie went quiet. Stepped a little closer. “ I love you. When I made the bet, I didn’t know how I felt about you at all. Then I started to fall and I tried to get out of the bet, Alyssa, you have to believe me. I tried to tell you but every time I’d think about it, I’d freak out because you’re the first actual good thing I’ve had in my life in a while, okay?”

I scoffed. “Yeah, I doubt that.”

“I mean it. And I’m not going to stop trying to prove it.”

I shrugged. “Do whatever you want but I’m not guaranteeing it will work. I already went against my gut instinct and gave you a chance to begin with.”

I shivered a little, hugging myself. Reggie placed his hands on my upper arms, rubbing them. Gazing down at me.

“Reggie, you need to go. I just need to think.”

“Thinking is better than you saying you hate me now… I just.. You were my best friend when we were kids.. Then I kinda fell for you and now stuff just sucks.. I don’t have my best friend or the girl I love. Anything is better than nothing.”

Reggie left and I walked back inside, flinging myself at the couch. Pulling myself together for a few seconds. Really letting what he said sink in. Trying to figure out if I felt the same thing. Or if I felt anything at all.

I finally gave up trying to force myself into a decision and after leashing Vegas, I wandered out into the chilly night air. Down to Pickens Park because Vegas likes to wander around the big grassy area between the ballfields and the playground.

After playing fetch with a stick Vegas bought over to me, I flopped onto the grass. Vegas settled beside me and I found myself just kind of lounging there lazily, watching the clouds roll over the darkening sky lazily. Pointing at constellations when I spotted one. Vegas seemed content to just lounge there, his head resting on my stomach with me lazily giving him behind the ear skritches.

A throat cleared from nearby.

Sweet Pea stepped out, hands in his pockets. Wandering over to where I’d lazily flopped onto the grass. Sitting down nearby with his back against the tree. Close but keeping a healthy distance between us.

“Do you always lay in the park at night and talk to your dog?”

“What if I do?” I answered, rolling onto my stomach, propping on my elbow to gaze at him, my hair promptly cascading in front of my face like a messy red curtain.

“Damn it. I should’ve just chopped it all off.” I grumbled, pushing my hair out of my eyes to look at him.

“You’d look hideous bald.” Sweet Pea flashed me a teasing smirk.

“Hmphf.” I grumbled in response to his comment. “What brings you to the boring side of town?”

Sweet Pea shrugged. “Wyrm was crowded. Full of shouting kids and shit. I wanted to take a walk.”

“Toni and Cheryl went to see that movie tonight.” I laughed softly. “They asked me if I wanted to go but I said I wanted to stay home. Kind of just not feeling it. Then my brother’s girlfriend asked if I wanted to go on that weekend trip they all took.”

“You could be soaking in a hot tub right now.” Sweet Pea teased, a lesser seen teasing smile tugging at his mouth as he glanced at me.

“Honestly? I’d rather eat glass than indulge in anything Hiram Lodge is a part of. I’ll be nice to Veronica and try to get to know her, but that’s pretty much it. You know he brought my brother a car, right?”

“Yeah. I heard.” Sweet Pea answered, glancing over at me.

“Dad wasn’t thrilled with it either. That’s fine. Absolutely fine. I want Dad’s truck anyway. I’ll just spend weekends helping dad work on it. It’ll be more time I can spend with the grumpy old man.” I smiled to myself. One good thing about moving to Riverdale was that I was finally getting to spend more time with my father and my brother.

“You couldn’t even see over the wheel though. Can you even drive to begin with?” Sweet Pea shot me a teasing glance. Quick to step away from me just a little further, raising his hands. “I’m not trying to invoke the wrath of the midget.”

“It’s called a booster seat, asshole. And actually yeah. I do okay at driving. I mean aside from a go kart incident back in Chicago...” I teased right back, the two of us sharing a laugh that fell silent.

Sweet Pea stood, holding out a hand.

I eyed his hand and sat up, grabbing hold. Letting him pull me off the grass. Vegas rose to sit on his hind legs, then made his way over, sitting down right between Sweet Pea and I.. the little space that remained, there is. When he’d pulled me up, he’d pulled me with enough force that I wound up barely pressed against him. Close enough that my breath caught in my throat for a few seconds.

We sprang apart. Sweet Pea’s hand settled on top of Vegas’ head lazily and he chuckled when Vegas licked his hand, wiping his hand on the thigh of his jeans.

“It’s late. And colder.” Sweet Pea pointed out, nodding in the direction of my house. I glanced up at the sky and unable to resist, I retorted, “You don’t say, captain obvious.”

I jumped back out of his way a little and he stepped up. Towering over me.

“C’mon. I’ll walk you back.”

“But sir. I have a perfectly capable guard dog? What would the upstanding hypocritical assholes on this street think.. A big bad Serpent walking defenseless little me home?” I pretended to pout up at him, laughing softly. “I was joking.” I muttered a few seconds later.

He shook his head, muttered something I couldn’t quite make out and we started to walk down the sidewalk, towards my father’s house.

The streetlight flickered on above us, bathing us in soft and almost hazy lighting thanks to the fog that was starting to kind of set in.

The leaves crunched beneath my feet. Shattering this heavy air of silence that seemed to settle over us.

“I’m gonna.. Go. Back to the Wyrm.” Sweet Pea muttered abruptly a few seconds later. Lingering, even though he said he’d leave. Gazing down at me as if he were in a daze. Or caught up in his own thoughts. A million miles away.

“I need to get Vegas in the house.” I muttered, nipping at my lip as I held eye contact. Trying not to think about what I’d revealed to Cheryl and Toni a few days ago about maybe being attracted to him… But it was all I could think about at the moment. His eyes darted down, settling on my bottom lip. Then he shook his head, turning swiftly and disappearing around the corner up the street.

I walked inside, making the comment to Vegas, “That wasn’t weird at all, huh buddy?” Vegas just tilted his head, gazing up at me. I bent to take off his leash, hanging it up. Fluffing his fur before hurrying into the kitchen to grab myself a soda.

Settling in on the couch. Turning the television back on.

And promptly falling asleep in the middle of a rewatch of the first season of Punisher. And as I slept, I found myself dreaming about Reggie. And then, oddly enough, Sweet Pea.

When I woke up the next morning, it was to a few seconds of confusion because the dream I’d woken up from had been so vivid that I honestly thought it actually happened. I pouted as soon as the realization sunk in that it had been a dream.

And I grumbled in annoyance with myself because I wanted it to be real. Because lately, spending all this time around Sweet Pea, I was starting to feel like maybe I didn’t just think he was hot.

Maybe I actually did feel something.

Before that thought could take root, I was shoving it back out of my head again. Refusing to acknowledge it. Because the hot guys are always the ones that somehow manage to do the most damage. And I was still pretty hurt over the way things played out with Reggie. Afraid to open myself up. Afraid to trust. Afraid to try, if I’m being honest because I was at least 95 percent sure that Sweet Pea would probably laugh his ass off at me if I were dumb enough to do so.

#sweetpea fanfiction #sweetpea imagine #sweetpea fanfic #sweetpea imagines #sweetpea fic #riverdale fanfiction #riverdale fanfic #riverdale fic #my writing ; sweetpea #my fanfiction ; sweetpea #my fics ; sweetpea #// i am so proud of this even though it's totally flopped.

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feuilly-cakes · 4 years

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Breaking Dawn - 3* review

Oh boy was this a long one. Okay, I really don't know how to feel about this book, because on one hand I had lots of fun revisiting my old favourite and picking it apart but on the other hand I had a very big issue with a major part of the plot. If I were rating based on each book within this book, I would give book one 4*and book two and three 3*. It starts out strong, then gets progressively harder to keep track of, but then maybe my short attention span is the problem here. I learned many interesting facts and character traits in this book, and I also figured out something important to do with imprinting that's been vaguely introduced in the previous book but is explored in-depth here. Stick around if you want to see what that discovery is. As usual, I'll be putting interesting and relevant facts and things I found particularly offensive under sub-headings, but I'll be saying a lot about each book as if it's separate before then, because Breaking Dawn as a whole is too long to talk about with any coherency. So without further ado: There are only spoilers ahead. Book 1: Bella First let me just say that these books have such amazing prologues/prefaces that immediately grab your attention. If you didn't know she was going to get pregnant, it would probably seem like she's talking about Edward being the one killing her. Anyway, this book was shorter than I expected, but far more enjoyable. This one seems to be more family oriented in the language used than previous in the series; while before any of the Cullens would be described as 'Edward's adopted -' , in this they are simply his mother, his brothers, his sisters. Even Jasper, who always seemed to me to be the outsider of the bunch, uses the term "We Cullens" and it just feels more like a family than a vampire coven pretending to be a family. This is helped along by Bella suddenly knowing so much more about the history of the Cullens and their extended family the Denalis. She's ready to fit right on in there. This book deals with the wedding and the honeymoon. Bella reflects on how she told her parents, freaks out about getting married, has her wedding, abruptly changes her stance on said wedding, then they shoot off to the honeymoon and things occur. Basically, she gets pregnant. It's a huge commotion. Backtracking, both Charlie and Renee were weirdly supportive about the engagement and handled it super well, with Renee and Bella having such a lovely conversation I nearly teared up. She's a great mother even when she's not physically there for Bella. Bella, on the other hand, is doing that thing again where she's selfish and a bit mean without realising she's being that way. Poor Edward is stressed to his eyeballs about the honeymoon and the very real possibility of hurting and even killing Bella, and she just brushes him right off. More on that later, but that's not the responsible way to do things, Bella. Fast forward to the honeymoon, and Edward is now the one being dramatic, refusing to sleep with her again because he bruised her and not listening to her when she says she's perfectly fine. The way it happens is very funny. Then we get to see random things happening that oh so subtly turn out to be pregnancy symptoms, like strange dreams about vampire babies who look human, oversleeping, mood swings, strange eating habits, and last but not least, morning sickness. It wasn't subtle. When they figure it out Edward loses it and says he's going to arrange for her to have an abortion. Bella asks Rosalie for help, and screen fades to black. The big theme here is that Bella changes her mind. She doesn't want to be married until she suddenly does at her wedding, she doesn't want to stay human until she decides she can afford a few extra years, and she doesn't want kids until she's already pregnant. Even with Rosalie, their slowly evolving relationship wasn't going to be proper friendship until Bella asks her for help. She's changing so quickly it's like getting whiplash, but it's not unrealistic. That's how I make most of my big decisions too, like it simmers away unnoticed until it's ready to be addressed. Relatable, really. Book 2: Jacob Book 2 takes us through Bella's pregnancy from Jacob's perspective, as he goes from planning to kill the Cullens to becoming their biggest protector and an Alpha of his own pack. As much as I love multiple POVs in books this is one I couldn't get behind, and here's why. One of the main themes in this book is imprinting. I don't like it. While I adore soulmates as a concept, and even more so platonic soulmates, it's made clear that this isn't what that is, and it's icky. We get 4 pages of Quil interacting with his imprint Claire, who is 3. The whole time Jacob has a running commentary on how Quil is more devoted than a parent would ever be, how he wants to make her so very happy, how it's so very different from that of a parent, and how Quil has to wait like a "monk" for "a good fourteen years" until Claire was his age. This was never platonic, it was a waiting game. It's also grooming. This was also around the time it became apparent just why Quil imprinted on Claire in the first place: it was all a set up for Jacob's eventual imprint. It had to be a part of the story before it happened so people wouldn't question it, and for the most part it worked. Both Quil's story and Jacob's interactions with a pregnant Bella prove this: "the hold she had on me only got harder to break. Almost like it was related to her expanding belly" and "It feels... complete when you're here, Jacob. Like all my family is together." I hated reading that. He should've imprinted on that nice girl Lizzie, from the park. Surely Stephenie Meyer could've come up with something else to keep Nessie alive? Onto similarly disturbing things but less revolting in the long run, Bella's story here seems to be an attempt at pro-life propaganda that backfired. The reason? Bella makes a choice about her body, and though most of them don't like it, they don't force her to do otherwise. People seem to forget that being pro-choice also means the choice to stay pregnant even when it's best not to. Bella makes that decision and she's absolutely sure of it, at the expense of her life and health, but it's hers to make. She is pitted against Edward, who would absolutely force her to have an abortion if he had backup, and who is also losing his damn mind. He insists to Jacob that Carlisle would help him if not for Esme, and that Rosalie doesn't care about Bella's life, only the baby's. Carlisle himself tells Jacob he would never take the choice away from Bella, and context shows that Rosalie is protecting Bella's choices and bodily autonomy, and carrying out her last wishes to ensure the baby is brought into the world healthy. Remember that Rosalie had all her choices taken from her, and all she wanted for Bella was for her to make the right ones. Edward doesn't change his stance until he discovers the baby has thoughts that can be read, and loves Bella. Once again, this seems to have been an attempt at showing that babies have thoughts and feelings in the womb, but it does almost the opposite as Bella is a day away from full term and not once has anything been picked up by either him or Jasper before that point. It's safe to assume there was nothing to pick up on. The pregnancy ends with a truly horrifying birth scene that made my hands go numb and my ears ring from the violence of it all. Bella dies, Jacob imprints on a minutes-old baby and begins his journey as a child groomer, and then Bella comes back and begins her transformation. Book 3: Bella. Or as I like to call it: It all goes downhill from here. Bella has the most unrealistic yet brutal experience ever, and is now a super sexy, super perfect, super powerful, super smart vampire. She has a perfect baby, perfect control of her bloodlust, and somehow the perfect life. But oh no! The Volturi are threatening that peace! Who could have predicted that the last remaining villains would appear in the last book? Now Bella and the rest of the Cullens have to find their friends to stop the Volturi in their track, but peacefully of course, because they are the good guys really! Just a misunderstanding! I'm so glad that was addressed in story, because I would not have been able to deal with a pro-police/pro-dictator story in this political climate. The most unrealistic part of this is when the Volturi don't simply assert their vampire dominance over them by killing them all without taking their own witnesses. I didn't like how Bella suddenly became perfect and good at everything in this book. It's so unrealistic. Less than a month to become the strongest shield ever and be able to scare the ancient Volturi? Perfect control on her first hunt? I think not thank you. There was also a missed opportunity to have Bella be a psychic of some kind since she dreamt of the future accurately many times. Renesmee was very sweet though, and that's all I'll say on that. Now onto my lists! Differences between book and film This was mostly pretty accurate in terms of plot. - Edward's backstory that we see pre-wedding isn't a thing in the book. It actually isn't a thing in any of the main books, but I can't speak for the others. - Bella knows about the immortal children before the book even starts, and she's the one to realise that Irina thought Renesmee was one herself. - The wedding is inside. The film had it outside I'm pretty sure. - The whole part where Jacob freaks out and borrows a very fancy sports car to go and try to find his imprint was never in the films, and I think that's a tragedy. Vampires - The appearance of the nicknames Em and Jazz for Emmett and Jasper. It's not at all important I just thought it was cute. - Half vampire babies use their teeth to escape the womb. Also, Renesmee was trying to be careful to not hurt Bella while she was still inside her. She started reading when she was under 3 months. If I saw a baby read aloud in full sentences I'd never sleep again. - Edward called Jacob "Jake" in book 3. It's weird how their relationship changes throughout the book. - Poor Renesmee knows it's because of her that the Volturi are coming, and says "This is my fault." She's just a few months old at this point, and she's already going through a whole lot. - The volturi look like someone threw baby powder on them because they sat still for so long they started "petrifying". - There are 32 Volturi members, considering they took the whole coven with them to Forks. - Fun Bella fact: she was going to let Charlie assume what was up with her because she thinks he will never decide on vampire. Red Flags Most of these have been discussed in depth so I'll just mention them briefly. - Edward, pre wedding, is described as having a "panic attack" by Bella at the thought of hurting her, and instead of reassuring him she brushes him off and thinks "He wasn't getting out of this deal. Not after insisting I marry him first." This is beyond selfish and even cruel, because he has a point and genuine concerns that should have been discussed properly. - "We're going to get that thing out before it can hurt any part of you." Edward has decided this for himself, without Bella's input. - Jacob contemplates suicide over the thought of having to see Leah. This is absolutely not something that should be talked about like it's nothing. - The imprinting of Quil and Claire. - Every bit of foreshadowing about Jacob imprinting on Renesmee, and the act itself. - Rosalie calls the place in South America where the half vampire myths originated "a disease-infested swamp with a medicine man smearing sloth spit across your face" in relation to giving birth there, and it's more than a little racist. How would she even know what it's like? - "the Egyptians all looked so alike, with their midnight hair and olive-toned pallor, that they could have easily passed for a biological family" The white, blonde Denali sisters were never ever described this way, so why are the non-white people described as such? - Bella had "never met any vampires less civilized" than the Amazons. They have long black braids, so we can assume they aren't white. Why are only the non-white vampires being described these ways? - Bella describes the rough area where she met 1 person, who was working for J Jenks and happened to be Black, but was well dressed in rich clothes, as the "ghetto address". Upon googling, I learnt that this refers to low income areas of a city that are occupied by minorities. She met one person. How could she possibly know if it was the "ghetto"? It was described as the "downtown office" by Max, the man in question, so why wouldn't she just use that term? - Jacob gives Renesmee the Quileute equivalent of a promise ring. I want to throw up, because we all know what a promise ring symbolises. - Lastly but certainly not leastly, when learning Renesmee will be full grown at age 7, Bella feels a "shudder" from Jacob. I hate it, it's gross, it needs to burn. Disgusting. And that's that, sorry it's so long, I had a lot to say. If you have any opinions on this review, feel free to discuss with me!

#twilight #twilight renaissance #breaking dawn #book review #book blogger #Books and Literature #next up is Midnight Sun!!

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calpalirwin · 4 years

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Artsy Folk

Summary: Funny how working at a high school makes you feel seventeen again.

A/N: Teacher!Ash!

Content: Fluff. Almost cuss word free.

Word Count: 2.8k

And away, and away we go!

~~~

You frowned as you looked at your box of decorations and around your bare classroom walls. Just how the hell you were going to decorate in time for the first day was beyond you. What you needed was help, preferably from someone who was tall. But, that wasn’t in the cards for you. You were on your own.

You cracked your knuckles and set out to work. In two hours, your fingers were sore. In four, your back ached.

You wiped the sweat from your forehead as you caught your breath, looking around the room. It was certainly better than it had been, but still not exactly how you wanted it. You thought the heavy pounding was coming from your chest, but as you rested your hand on your chest, you realized the noise wasn’t coming from you.

You got up and walked over to your opened classroom door, peeking out across the quad. Another classroom door was swung open and the pounding had gotten louder. Curiosity took control and you found yourself strolling towards the music pouring out of the other classroom.

Your knuckles rapped politely on the door as you poked your head in. “Hello?” you announced.

The man at the drumkit didn’t hear you as he drummed with his whole body, lost in the music. The midnight hair covered his face as the drumsticks twirled effortlessly in his large fingers. You could see the swell of his arm muscles and the thickness of his thighs as he beat mercilessly on the kit- a fast-paced, steady rhythm.

“Hello?” you said a bit louder, moving deeper into the room.

There was a thunderous finish, before his fingers gripped the cymbals to silence them, the notes still reverberating around in your ears. Those same fingers pushed his hair out of his face and then a startled pair of the prettiest eyes you’ve ever seen were taking you in. “Oh, hello,” his voice called out and you detected the trace of an accent.

You blinked and he was in front of you, taller than you by a foot, and reaching out a hand. “I’m Ashton.”

“Y/N,” you breathed back, wondering when you had blacked out as you shook his hand.

“I wasn’t bothering you, was I? I keep asking admin to soundproof this room, but they never get around to it. I swear one of these days, I’m just gonna do it myself.”

You shook your head to clear it, his words filtering foggily into your head. “What? No, you weren’t bothering me. I… uh… it was good! I thought I was alone.”

He giggled and you saw stars. “Nah, I’m always here.”

“Hard time separating work and home?”

He giggled again as he shrugged. “Not much to go home to. Plus, I spend so much time teaching music, I don’t get around to playing it a whole lot. So, I try to fit it in when I can.”

You nodded, “I get what you mean. Too busy teaching our passion to partake in it ourselves.”

“Exactly,” he smiled and you melted at that dimple in his cheek. You, you decided, were in big fucking trouble. “So, what do you teach?”

“Oh, I’m the new drama teacher.”

“Oh, sweet! We’ll have a lot of the same students then.”

“Probably work together a lot too, huh?”

He nodded, smiling wider. “Oh, for sure. What kind of productions do you have planned? Or have you got that far yet?”

You laughed, shaking your head. “Today is just a decorating day. Hunting down age-appropriate productions is tomorrow’s job.”

“Did you need any help decorating?” the words rushed from his mouth. “I mean, I…” he started to falter, his cheeks flushing as he passed a hand through his raven locks. “I’m tall so I can… I mean… if you don’t wanna stand on a desk.”

“That would be great actually! If you don’t mind?”

“Nah, not at all. Us artsy folk gotta stick together.”

~~~

You felt a flutter in your stomach every time he flashed you a smile across the quad as you both held the door to your respective classrooms open for your students.. You couldn’t stop your own smile how you heard his voice boom out after every bell with a welcoming, “Alright class!” Was working on a high school campus destined to make you feel like a lovestruck teenager yourself?

The flutter in your stomach got more pronounced on your lunch breaks when he’d spin a chair around to lean his chest against the back, his dimple indenting his cheek as he popped an orange slice in his mouth.

“How was your break?” he asked after the holidays had finished.

“It was good,” you smiled at him, wishing for the millionth time to be that orange slice that brushed up against his perfect lips. “How was yours? Get to put your passion to good use?”

“Did you?” he challenged, tapping the screenplay you had next to your own lunch. “Seriously, how many of these do you read?”

“A lot,” you laughed. “Mostly to get scene ideas for the kids to practice. But this is for the spring musical.”

“Sound of Music, huh?” he asked, glancing at the title. “I always loved that one.”

“Me too. I’ve always wanted to do it.”

“Have you talked with Luke and Mike?” he asked, referencing the tall choir teacher and the wild art teacher.

“No, I need to,” you said, pulling out a pen and scratching the note down on the back of the script. “Thanks for the reminder.”

“No problem,” he grinned, swallowing another orange slice. “Lemme know if I can help with any musical arrangements.”

“Would you?” you asked, eyes hopeful and wide. His name had been first on your list of people to ask for help when you got the rights to put on the production.

“Us artsy folk gotta stick together.”

~~~

You sighed, rubbing your eyes as the teenagers on the stage looked at you with sheepish smiles on their faces. You glanced down at your phone to note the time. You had an hour left of rehearsal time. Sixty minutes to nail your favorite scene. The students were hard-working, there was no denying that. But nothing about this scene felt right to you. It felt forced. And you hated that. Maybe it was the long hours getting to you. Maybe there was a pressure you were putting on yourself to put on the perfect production of your favorite musical. Either way, something wasn’t clicking today and it was driving you up a wall. “What’s going on, guys? Is it the lyrics? Do we need another day with Mr. Hemmings? Is it the blocking? Do I need to break it down again? Help me, help you, guys. C’mon.”

“It’s just not clicking, Miss,” Charlie, a lanky sophomore, said, rubbing at his neck.

“He keeps throwing me around like a ragdoll!” McKenzie, a petite junior, turned on her partner, hands on her hips.

“I’m supposed to spin you! That’s the scene!” he fought back, towering over her.

“Not so fast! And do you have to grab me so hard?! Miss, he’s bruising my hips!”

“I’m not doing it on purpose!”

“Alright!” you shouted above their bickering, waving your hands. “Fighting’s not gonna get this done. Kenz, Charlie’s right. Spinning you is the scene. But Charlie, slow it down like half a step. Go with the beat of the music.”

“Miss, it’s a little much. The music, the lyrics, the blocking,” Charlie admitted with another sheepish look.

You sighed again, glancing at your phone again. It was Charlie’s first production and he had landed himself quite the role. You had specifically cast him alongside McKenzie so the older girl could lend her experience on the stage to the boy. It had been working, or so you thought. “Why don’t we take it one piece at a time? Just do the blocking. Then add the lyrics. Then the music. 3 more takes.”

Charlie and McKenzie nodded in agreement.

“Alright, Mr. Irwin, keep off the music cue, please,” you said, turning to where Ashton was a little ways off with the band.

Ashton nodded with a small smile that had your insides doing somersaults.

“Alright, take it away.”

The action on stage was gawky as the two students moved in silence, the only sound being the scuffling of their shoes. All three of you shared a collective frown as they moved back to run it again. The second take flowed better as the lyrics they sang provided structure to their movements. “Alright, better,” you approved, smiling as they moved back for the last take. “Now, let’s add the music. Mr. Irwin?”

Ashton led his students through the music as you trained your eyes on Charlie and McKenzie’s movements. Charlie’s foot stumbled as he picked up McKenzie, falling into his usual half-step behind the music. He spun fast and hard to catch back up to pace, but forgot to spot his turn, so the toes of his sneakers lost their grip and with McKenzie in his arms, he couldn’t regain his balance. Both teenagers tumbled to the stage floor, Charlie graciously taking the brunt of it, “oof,”s falling from everyone’s lips as you winced.

“We good?” you checked, your face a mask of worry.

Charlie stood up, dusting off his jeans, before reaching a hand to help McKenzie to her feet, both breathless with laughter. “Yeah, we’re good, Miss. Sorry, Kenz.”

“You forgot to spot,” McKenzie scolded, patting the boy’s chest. “Miss, he always forgets to spot his turns.”

“She’s right, Charlie,” you told them, with a soft chuckle.

“Miss, it’s too much. Every time I think I got it, my brain messes it up.”

“You’re doing fine, Charlie. This is a process. That’s why we have rehearsals. Do we need to take a small break?”

Charlie and McKenzie shared a look that bordered on dangerous before Charlie spoke up. “You know, Miss… I’m a visual learner… maybe if you showed me how this scene goes…?” his eyes fluttered over to Ashton suggestively as you felt heat rise to your cheeks.

You narrowed your eyes at McKenzie in particular. You had gotten to know the girl pretty well over your stint as her teacher, and she gave you relentless teasing when she had caught you subconsciously biting your lip when you and Ashton shared your smile and wave between classes. You also knew that a lot of the students thought you and Ashton shared something that went beyond those small smiles, a rumor that was growing with how close you were becoming to the music teacher now that you were working on the musical together. Teenagers, you had come to realize, were incredibly observant when it came to matters of the heart.

You pulled yourself onto the stage and moved to stand between the teenagers, ignoring the eyes on you, Ashton’s in particular. “It’s like this,” you explained. “Pick, twirl, land,” you demonstrated, going through the motions. “It’s not even a full spin, Charlie. It’s a 180 degree turn, not a full 360.”

Charlie shared another look with McKenzie before he flashed you a grin. “Yeah, Miss, I still don’t fully get it. Can… hey, Mr. Irwin! Can you come help?”

A smirk threatened to overtake Ashton’s face, his hazel eyes wide as they looked at you. “Uh…” he faltered, a hand running through his ink-like hair.

“Clearly there’s only so much teaching I can do before I require reinforcements,” you told him with a shy smile and small giggle, sweeping your arm before you in silent question.

A matching giggle came out of Ashton’s own lips as he effortlessly swung himself up on stage with you. “You know the scene?” you checked.

“Course I do,” he confirmed.

“Alright, from the top then,” you said, directing your attention away from his close proximity to look at your students. “Charlie, watch Mr. Irwin’s movements. McKenzie, watch mine. As much as the pressure is on Charlie in this scene, you’re playing an important role, too. Keep him grounded,” you explained as you and Ashton took your marks.

Ashton gestured for his students to start playing the music and your eyes went wide for a moment as he started singing. You were surprised you were so surprised by his singing voice. His regular talking voice was as smooth as honey, of course his singing voice would be even more magnificent.

Your bodies moved in sync through the scene, his hand there to guide you up to step onto the bench, before his strong hands were on your waist and you were lifted into the air. You bit on your lip to keep in the schoolgirl like giggle bubbling up inside as he pivoted in a graceful half spin and placed you gently on your feet, the music and your voices fading out across the theater.

Your heart was racing and your ears were ringing as his hands stayed glued to your hips, eyes locked on each other.

“Oh!” Charlie’s voice sounded, and you and Ashton jumped apart, his fingertips lighting you up as they slid across skin, keeping contact until the last possible second. “I think I get it now!”

“Yeah?” you asked, a smile on your lips and your eyes shining as you kept your gaze on Ashton.

“Yeah!” Charlie said, excitedly.

“Alright, take your marks. Run it from the top,” you said, biting your lip as Ashton’s tongue poked out to wet his own.

When Charlie and McKenzie ran through the scene, they didn’t mess up once. You raised your eyebrows in suspicion at them and they just grinned at you. You shook your head, your shoulders shaking in a silent chuckle before your eyes darted over to see if Ashton was looking. When he wasn’t, you mouthed a thank you to the conspirators. “Alright, great work, guys. Let’s call it early,” you said loudly, gathering everyone’s attention. “Back here at 3:30 sharp tomorrow.”

~~~

You stood in front of the auditorium, watching the last of the students get picked up by parents or jet off into the evening with their friends. You crossed your arms over the chest to ward of the chill, desperately wishing for the parking lot to empty so you could seek the warm shelter of your own car.

“Hey,” a voice piped up and you jumped. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare ya,” Ashton chuckled.

Your hand fluttered to your racing heart. “I figured you would have left already.”

“Nah,” he said, leaning up against the wall of the building, a leg kicked up so his foot rested against the wall along with his shoulders. “Just got finished locking up the band room.”

“Mmm,” you nodded, looking out across the parking lot, not wanting to look at the man who had set a fire in your soul not even twenty minutes ago. How someone could ooze sexiness without even trying made you shiver at what he was capable of when he used his charm full force.

“I didn’t make you uncomfortable in there, did I?” he questioned, his eyebrows furrowing together.

“What? No! No,” you laughed, “not at all.”

He let out a small chuckle of relief, “Good. Cuz I was gonna say, I think they’ve been plotting that one for a while.”

“Me too. Wonder where they got such a crazy idea from,” you wondered out loud.

He pushed off the wall and stuffed his hands in the pockets of his jeans. “Dunno. Kids get these crazy notions sometimes.”

“Crazy,” you said, biting into your lip as you turned to look at him.

“Totally,” he agreed, swallowing thickly. “It’s like I can’t smile at a pretty girl without the whole school thinking I got a crush.”

“And do you?” you asked, your cheeks warming at his dropped compliment.

“Do I what?”

“Have a crush on the pretty girl?”

His shoulders shrugged and his eyes danced away. “Maybe…” his voice murmured the answer.

“Maybe the pretty girl has a crush on you too,” you admitted shyly.

“Yeah?” You noticed the hopeful lilt in his voice and the heat in your cheeks grew in intensity.

“Night, Ashton,” you smiled, walking off slowly in the direction of your car.

He didn’t answer as you continued to walk away and you let out a small sigh of discontent. Maybe it was best to have kept your attraction a secret from the music teacher across the hall. Better to have the small moments of affection and tenderness rather than lose it if things went by the wayside. So when his fingers danced onto your waist, you nearly jumped out of your skin before instinctively relaxing into his touch, wondering how someone so big could move so silently. Those same fingers you had spent many a sleepless night imagining exploring the expanse of your body tugged at your flesh, spinning you around to face him. “You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do this,” he breathed down at you before his perfect lips were on yours.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting you to do that,” you replied, melting into him, his kiss, his touch, craving more and more.

“Us artsy folk gotta stick together.” His eyes were shining and his voice was breathless and you were thinking things that left you wet between your legs.

“That we do,” you said before reaching up on your tiptoes to kiss him again.

~~~

Tag List

@goeatsomelife @flameraine @cashtonasff5sos @here-for-the-uproars @cxddlyash @1-irwin-94 @baldcalum @sparkling-chaos @tea4sykes @youngblood199456 @5-seconds-of-obsession

#artsy folk #ashton irwin #ashton irwin fic #teacher!ash #5sos #galcal irwin

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bambihanson · 4 years

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Okay, that was an... episode. Thoughts under the cut.

Overall: Not the strongest start to a new season, but there wasn’t a lot that made me like, Mad. Granted at this point there’s not much worse they can do than killing Quentin; the only way to go is up… I hope.

Positives

I still love these characters. Like I really do, they have a special place in my heart, even when the writers are fucking around. Every time someone else popped up on screen for the first time in a year I grinned.

I ESPECIALLY love seeing the dynamic duo Margo and Eliot back together. They’re my babes.

The sense of humor is still sharp, as expected. With a few exceptions, of course. Not every joke is gonna land. I never worry about them fucking the humor up too much - granted I’m biased bc it’s my sense of humor to a tee. Since as a late millennial/early gen Z raised by the internet I have a garbage brain.

I think we need badass, independent Julia after that shitshow end to her Goddess arc so I’m glad she’s taking the helm here. I feel like she’s kind of replacing Quentin as the Main main character which makes sense. Preferably Quentin would still be here, but the deed has already been done. They’ve already made it clear they’re not gonna retcon that shit anytime soon.

Negatives

Idk why they’re trying to tease Q coming back when it’s mostly been confirmed he’s not coming back this season.

Like seriously it makes sense for Alice and Julia to want to contact him but as someone in the real world with context it felt like a kick in the head

“Closest friends” BOOOOO MARGO WOULD KNOW BETTER. THE WRITERS SHOULD KNOW BETTER. STOP FUCKING PRETENDING THEY NEVER LOVED EACH OTHER AT LEAST OWN YOUR FUCK UP.

I hate hate hate hate hate the pig man. Like did the character bestowing the quest on Julia HAVE to be that guy??? Who thought this was funny/a good idea??? It’s like one joke (him being a literal chauvinist pig).

Not that it’s not like they didn’t write themself into this position, but I’m so tired of Eliot suffering. At least they stayed consistent with how he acts when he’s depressed/grieving (eg he can be insensitive and self medicates to hell and back).

Nitpicks

There’s so much… weird about Penny 23 and Julia’s relationship??? Idk how to feel about it. Like it’d be wholesome without all the baggage tbh

Josh x Margo is also really weird. Like suddenly she cares so much about this guy??? Like they’ve had sweet moments too but it started weird and is just… WEIRD. Not to be biased but if you’re gonna pair Margo up with someone, Fen would make the most sense.

I really don’t care about the subplot with the hedge witches. Like I love Kady but the whole mark subplot is so boring and pointless, they’re just trying too hard to give her something to do outside the main plot. Maybe I’ll change my mind as it develops but for now 😴

I still think it’d be a better finale/season if Fillory had been what died and not Q. Just sayin’

Too petty to be an actual negative but QUENTIN STILL BEING DEAD IS A NEGATIVE FOR SURE

Random Reactions Throughout (aka posts I would have made liveblogging)

Professor Penny!

This Penny feels a lot like Arjun tbh??? Like in most scenes he’s very Penny but in moments with Julia he’s very Arjun

“I’d fuck our corpses” - Margo Hanson

The girl cosplaying as Fen is SO CUTE

I forgot how much I hate Alice’s mom. Like she has her funny lines/moments but she’s the fucking worst

ALICE DO YOU NOT KNOW BY NOW SEANCES ARE A BAD IDEA DO YOU REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED WITH CHARLIE

“Then came my boring brother, Umber!” Wow shade

This play reminds me of the pie people episode of Star vs where the exact same thing happens with the whole play mocking the royals

“BoooOOOOOooo what’s a taker”

Margo looks like she’s gonna fucking kill a bitch

EL HASN’T READ THE FILLORY AND FURTHER BOOKS HDKDKDHDJSJ guess Q never harassed him enough. That’d be like me not forcing my gf to read The Monstrumologist books damn

Hooray for acknowledging Alice’s discipline!

The Clock Dwarf is a mood

Are we finally gonna find out how the fuck Alice becomes Cassandra this season? Bc they could easily go down that road

Fogg not being a semi-high functioning alcoholic??? What has the world come to

Leave it to the magicians to start a scene with a character at the end of a masturbation anecdote

“What would you say to the pig?” Uh, go fuck yourself??

I’m gonna go out on a limb and say the signal has something to do with the Apocalypse

I just realized ALICE IS WEARING T SHIRTS AND PANTS FOR ONCE

Now we get to find out what horrible demonic thing she’s gonna end up summoning instead of Q… or maybe we will next week

BITCH WAIT SHE MADE A Q GOLEMN???

Bonus: Dumb Sapphic Brain Thoughts

JULIA IS SO BEAUTIFUL??? PENNY’S REACTION TO HER OUTFIT IS A MOOD

Me Love Margo

The bi jumped out, Eliot is beautiful too. Even in his mourning look 😞

I love Kady in a blazer

I ALSO LOVE KADY IN A PONYTAIL DAMN

I love when Summer’s voice gets all low and rough like that. It’s hot af

#the magicians #the magicians spoilers #season 5

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popculturebuffet · 4 years

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Close Enough: So Long Boys And Clap Like This

ON this hour’s episodes: Josh decides to have a vasectomy after a pregnancy scare and soons end up dealing with second thoughts and bostonian robots while Alex regrets getting his after meeting what are maybe his children. Then Josh finally sells a game but it falls through and takes up extra jobs to avoid telling his family while Bridgette is forced to get a real job on her birthday and Alex enjoys inudstrial humis. Clap Like This under the cut.

So Long Boys

Aka the greatest vacesctomy based comedy episode since Brooklyn Nine Nine’s “Choclate Milk”. If you don’t know the show or don’t remember that episode if you are a fellow 99er it’s the one where Jake thinks his superior officer and friend Terry getting a vasectomy means chopping his penis off. I mean it starts off just assuming he’s making a joke but it becomes blurry if he’s just making quips or genuinely thinks that’s how it works. It’s also easy to compare these two because they both, while vastly diffrent and great episodes in their own rights: have a simlilar beat to the plot: a character trying to get a vasectomy for responsible reasons but being unsure they don’t wnat more kids. It’s just Brooklyn Nine Nine is more also about Jake being hurt Terry dosen’t think of him as a friend, a position he reverses while Close Enough has indentured pop and lock teenagers, a dark ride dedicated to scaring people out of kids and bostionan robots that sound like JFK from Clone HIgh. How does any of this fit together, let’s take a look.

So we open with Josh and Emily having a huge pregnancy scare, which was caused by the birthday sex from the pitch trailer aka Josh trying to pass it off as “we’re just doing our taxes sweetie!”. In other words the main bit I wanted to see transfered to the show proper. And while there’s a few joke this scene is mostly played for drama.. it’s not out of tone with the rest of the show. What really has made this show work for me is it combines regular show antics, but with the added maturity of having an older cast dealing with growing up. A bunch of 30 somethings to start instead of a bunch of 20 somethings so instead of dealing with stuff like video game competitionts, guys nights, and dating woes, it’s more dealing with juggling family and friends, having a job you hate and trying to ballance your career with your passion. And here is no diffrent: Josh and Emily HAVE no money, live in a cramped apartment with their best friends and a newly divorced couple which as we’ve seen isn’t always easy, and work jobs htey utterly hate and would have to double down on, snuffing out their real dreams, in order to support this kid. Josh outright says he’ll get a second job and give up his video game development which wihle it’d probably be miserable for him would be a sad neciscity. I myself do this blog on the side while trying desperatley to get an actual paying job, it sucks and their situation is compounded by having a kid on top of it who needs their support and attention. It’s stressful enough without adding a second child. Thankfully it’s a false alarm. However Josh, in a show of responsibility decided to do something about it and get a vasectomy. Still being josh though, his getting one also involves a massive and hilarious vasectomy party, where a bunch of people we never met, and alex and bridgette obviously play party games involving pinning sisssors on testies and theires even a breakdancing sperm. Emily and Pearle’s reactions are gold to this: Emily, before the opening, tells Josh he’s not allowed to plan parties anymore, understandable while Pearle genuinely didn’t belivie they were dumb enough to have a vasectomy party and gives out an understandable “Damn you white people” when she’s proven wrong. Alex also gets set up for his subplot in the episode mentioning he got his a year ago, which given his and Bridgette’s relationship was probably falling apart around then was a good call. I do however like this: Something big happend and Josh is taking responsibility for it, while still being josh about it, but it shows how unlike a lot of idiot heroes in adult cartoons,he’s still a genuinely nice guy who tries to do what’s right, and has more than one brain cell. he has two thank you. So Alex drives josh to get a vasectomy, while Randy presumibly watches Candace as we only see her at the start (Peale was watching her during hte party to help keep her in the dark for now) and finish of the episode. Meanwhile Emily, Bridgette and Pearle have a small B plot having brunch mamosas and boxing up candace’s baby stuff. We also find out for 100% sure our heroines nationatlities: Bridgette is japanese while Emily is Mexican. Mostly because Bridgette always saw Emily with a bigger family and only half for racist reasons that get her handcuffed to a pipe by a drunken Pearle. This show really needs more of Pearle asa every time she shows up she’s a fucking delight and if the show hopefully returns for season 2 I could easily see her getting more screentime. Emily ends up in tears and realizing she may want more kids, which is.. resonable. Their only 32. While it’s resonable to want or have any amount of kids, except like 20 like that one tlc show... I never watched it but when the only two things you hear about a show you don’t watch is the weird, archacic dating setup they have that feels like it produces a good marriage as much as Charlie Sheen did, and that the mother won’t stop having kids despite it nearly killing her multiple times and having you know 20, you kinda don’t want to watch it. Anyway it’s resonable to want a family of any size you want, Emily realises she’s not sure she wants to stop at 1 just yet. Meanwhile in the A-Plot Josh has come to the same conclusion after finding out that not only is this version of a vasectomy he’s getting permentant, mostly due to ball scorching done by robots, but after a hilarious but deeplly insulting carnival ride in the clinic that’s supposed to Scare josh out of having kids and features two teenagers fighting and pop and locking, a goblin and a wall just saying why why why why, impilng kids ruin your sleep, your romantic lives and are terrible. Josh however understandably takes offense to this, and seeing a brother and sister.. only make him not want to deprive candace of possibly having a sister oneday. Again while he and Emily are in no way in position for a second kid now.. they have time and Josh could easily sell a game at some point: he almost does in the next episode. ONe of Emily and Bridgette’s songs could go viral. Or Josh could end up finding a much better day job or Emily could get a promtion at hers. While not wanting to have a second child while they can’t support one is the right move, Josh realizes not wanting ot have one at all, at least in their spectfic case, was an overreaction to a scary situation. Josh decides to think more, despite the doctor offring up some pubic scaping for extra, and he and Alex end up finding the Teens from the ride.. who are in fact real kids who look an AWFUL lot and act an awfl lot like alex and are basically indentured to the doctor,who treats them like crap and has them undder contract to pop and lock for him and look at his new pubic hair designs (”Those nights are the hardest”). Josh decides not to go through with it but the bostioan robots who do the procedure refuse to let that happen and leave Josh, Alex and the Twins on the run, while Alex himself reconsiders parenthood as he’s now proud of what he thinks are his kids. As the four are cornered it turns out the doctor is also a prisoner.. but an unsympathetic one since he can A) go home and B) is willingly collaberating with obnoxious robots to do a dangerous verison of a serious procedure to save his own ass and is karmically atomized. When Alex brings up his thinking the kids are his, they sadly explain he isn’t: Their dad’s a republican senator (Tot hteir shame the girl, who I almost forgot to mention is voiced by the wonder Kate MIccui, in her second role in a JG Quintel show. HOpefully if there’s a season 2 or the show stars having arcs they can find a full role for her on the show. ) and Alex finds his sperm he donated ended up in a dumpster.. but is determined to protect the kids anyway. Thankfully our heroes are able to escape with Emily, who sneaks ina fter the robots locked down the faicility’s help, with Josh bummed because he was proud for being responsible as the two discuss still wanting to have kids, with Emily pointing out .. this is STILL responsible. Not going through with something you have doubts about and having an honest talk with your partner is the responsbe thing> The five of them escape, and while Alex knows he’s not the teens father, offers to be there for them if they ever need it. Wrapping things up at a skating rink, The Ramierz’ skate and Josh and Emily plan to do their taxes again later, though likely with a rubber this time, and Alex got his vasectomy reverse and is really weird about it to Bridgette’s annoyance. Also 20,000 years into the future subhuman cavemen versions of hismelf are the dominatne lifeform Neat. Overall this ep was really good, having great character stuff for Josh Emily and Alex, while still having some good bits for the rest of the main cast minus randy who I feel the show honestly forgets exists half the time, with drunk Pearle being a delight. But it’s the emotional core for both sides: Josh and Emily hastily deciding to not have more kids before wondering if they want to keep the option open while Alex realisses he might want to be a dad himself and his bond with waht he thinks are his kids and protectivness of them is really sweet. It’s also not lacking in great jokes; The entire rollercoaster of “DON’T HAVE KIDS” is just black comedy gold from start to finsih including the green goblin for some reaosn, the boston robots and vasectomy doctor are great vilians and overall the episode is just really good and really mature for an episode that also makes plenty of testicle scaping jokes. You can do both.

Clap Like This

And continuing the trend from the last few episodes, we have the weaker one (though Golden Gamer was still pretty damn good), second this time around, though like Golden Gamer it’s still decent. The plot is a bit simplier and starts with Josh FINALLY selling a game to two idiot tech billionares, Clap LIke This, a game about clapping along that actually seems really damn fun and I wish were real like Ladder World. While Emily enjoys being able to spend money and her husband finally living his dream or so she thinks, Bridgette, who we find out has been on an allowance from her parents, is cut off on her birthday and has to get a job at a forever 23, one of the few times this show has used an offbrand and not nearlya s awesome a name as “Plugger Inners” it feels lazier if only because again, Plugger Inners exists. But as was revealed earlier, the two guys who bought it went broke and the deal feell through but josh, feeling terrrible about them not being able to afford the finer things anymore, hides it from his family and takes as many shifts as possible at plugger inners. He also runs into David Hasslehoff doing his best mitch von malibu as he just.. throws more money at josh to do what his son asks. Or nephew or whatever. I went back and redited this after finding out that really was him and supposed to be him. I’m also calling his annoying son Hobie for reasons that will be come clear if you’ve ever watched allison pregler’s baywatching series but it’s always fun to see the hoff in something. Especailly the time he made this really embarassing music video.

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But alass the 200 dollars Hoff made off “jump in my car” that he gave josh isn’t enough and with him having taken all the insltation jobs josh is forced to turn to black market insltations including one where he installs a tv while jaws eats a guy.. I genuinely wish they’d used this song.

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#close enough #jq quintel #reviews #animation reviews #hbo max #so long boys #clap like this

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boundinshallows · 4 years

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Peaky Blinders Exchange Season 5 Masterlist

Here’s the fic roundup for the Peaky Blinders Exchange Round Two: Season 5 Edition hosted on AO3. Many thanks to ashling for organizing and hosting the exchange!

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A Good Story by Emjen_Enla

[Gen] Pre-Series. Tommy, Ada and petty theft.

A Knight on the Rim by deadendtracks

[Gen] She’d thought maybe after he joined Parliament she’d see him more than she had when he’d lived full time in Birmingham, but now he had an office and flat in London, she hadn’t seen him at all except on company business or to pass information for Ben Younger.A game of chess, an unanswered question, a proposition.

As much what it is as what it’s not by deadendtracks

[Tommy/Lizzie] “Is that what you think, that I’d only be marrying you for the politics?” A rocky start and some tender moments between Lizzie and Tommy.

Eight for a Wish by hrafnsmal

[Tommy/Alfie] « Well, the elastic, you know, you can pull it, in every direction, straining it, and you can pull it back, and back, and back, until the thing is just about to break. The two extremities, yeah, apart from one another, on a veeeery long distance. But then, at some point, you have to let go. And when you stop pulling, these two sides of the elastic, they collide back on each other with as much force than you put in before. Mh. » He nodded, then looked at Tommy. He was listening, face impassible as always, holding his cigarette between his index and middle finger, thumb resting slightly at the bottom. Blue eyes unreadable. If you didn't know him as deeply as the other gangster did. « What is pulling the extremities apart, Alfie ? »

Families are like Fudge - mostly Sweet, with a few Nuts by vamillepudding

[Tommy/Alfie] John meets Alfie in a bar, and promptly goes home with him.Tommy meets Alfie the next morning, though he does not yet know the man’s name – he only sees him as Guy Who Is Standing Naked In My Kitchen. Or: Five times Alfie met a Shelby family member before he met Tommy, and one time Tommy had him all to himself.

Golden Years by shoshe_anders

[Johnny/Aberama] A young Johnny Dogs comes across Aberama Gold bathing at dawn. Johnny assumes that he has Aberama wrapped around his finger, though being twelve years Aberama's junior, he soon discovers that that's not necessarily the case.

Gone A Bit Wild by itslaurenmae

[Esme/John] It was the morning of her marriage. Esme rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and sighed softly, blinking at the roof of the rickety wagon. It had been a cold night, and it was an even colder morning. She was nervous, the way any bride would be the morning of a wedding - what if she tripped on the cold, stone cobbles? What if the overwhelming stench of salt and smoke was all she would remember of this day when she got old? She wasn’t worried about her husband.

Heart-to-Heart by queuebird

[Gen] “Can we talk?” Ada says.

I Want A Cat by birdywhistle

[Tommy/Alfie] Tommy is feeling a bit under the weather, Alfie is The Best Boyfriend.

Ink by mintjam

[Tommy/Alfie] “Fucking hell, Tom, you always did fight like a ferrett,” says the voice of a ghost behind him. Tommy freezes on the spot, heart thundering like a hammer in his chest. It can’t be. It fucking can’t be. He turns slowly, trying to straighten up to face the man he last saw five years ago. His shoulders look broader, the beard heavier but there’s no mistaking the intensity of those eyes. “Alfie?” he gasps, incredulous.

It’s still you anyway by weeo

[Tommy/Lizzie] Lizzie makes an important phone call.

Left Alone by Emjen_enla

[Gen] A morning during s4. Tommy hates the Watery Lane house. Charlie wants his dad.

Missed shot by darkandstormyslash

[Tommy/Alfie] Two shots that didn't kill, two little vignettes at Margate.

my boy builds coffins by turquoisetumult

[Gen] for better or worse...---As you inhale deeply, forcing the oxygen back in you, you don’t know whether to laugh or cry when you realize Tommy took his own advice from all those years ago. (Your neck suddenly tight now, an invisible noose of paralyzing fear and worry around you.)Tommy had used a gun.---Tommy's at an all-time low.--- Arthur finds him at the end of S5 and gets to play the role of big brother.

Never Moved Away from Here by Veneredirimmel

[Tommy/Alfie] “Should have killed you that first day in my bakery,” he says and means it. He would have gotten less grief, more sleep. Kept his eye.

No One That Charlie Can See by impala_chick

[Gen] Charlie doesn’t think it’s fair that his father gets to speak to his Mum when he can’t.

Numb me down to the core by Emjen_Enla

[Gen] On Christmas Eve Finn Shelby had three brothers. Now he had one. Or Finn and Tommy in the aftermath of Arthur’s “death.”

permutations by boundinshallows

[May/Tommy/Alfie] Tommy meets the loves of his life in a stable and a pub when he's nineteen.

Real Live Wire by veneredirimmel

[Gen] It was a very nice spring day, very nice. Blue in the sky, striped with the bars from the gate from where he was looking at; stark against it the two sculptures at the sides had features twisted with pain and bald heads and empty holes where the eyes should have been. He stood there looking at them, head up in the sky, and wished he was somewhere else. In a different fucking life, where his kid brother was not inside a fucking asylum. And he had not been the one who’d put him there.

Ribbons by convenience

[Gen] Ada knows Tommy is sinking.

Sleeping Beauty by weeo

[Tommy/Alfie] It's hard to wake up from a long slumber, even with the kisses of your prince.

Stare from each side by deadendtracks

[Gen] He didn’t get many calls, did he, being dead, so whoever it had been must have actually wanted to reach him. Missing scene from "Mr. Jones." written as a treat

the blindfold by ashling

[Grace/Tommy] In which Grace and Tommy have a disagreement about parenting.

The Rich Eating the Rich by cheeky_blinders

[Gen] ---

The way our family operates by convenience

[Gen] Tommy has to rely on Ada, who is pregnant and ready to shoot someone to prove a point.

Things Unsaid by HazelNMae

[Tommy/Alfie] When Tommy receives a letter from (the presumed dead) Alfie Solomons, he attempts to write a reply.

Trinitrotoluol by vamillepudding

[Thomas Barrow / Tommy Shelby; Tommy/Alfie] It was late afternoon in the Downton Estate, and Thomas Barrow felt rather proud of himself for having finished his duties for the day: He had conducted not just one (1), but two (2) evil plots that would serve to humiliate Mr Bates and possibly land Thomas either an exciting new position with better wages, or a prison sentence. Finally, Thomas had spent the rest of the day mentally preparing for the arrival of today’s visitor, one Tommy Shelby.

Your Meal Tonight Is Memories by cheeky_blinders

[Gen] ---

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Please don’t forget to leave the authors kudos and comments!

#peaky blinders #Tommy shelby #ada shelby #alfie solomons #John shelby #Arthur shelby

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kilyra · 4 years

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How Could You Say No?

Ward Meachum (Iron Fist) One-Shot

A/N: So when @presidentmeachum photos below popped up on my feed, a fluffy little story popped up in my head. It’s the first “Oh!!” moment I’ve had in a while in terms of a fic idea, so I ran with it :)

As much as you love dogs, finding out Ward suddenly adopted one has you a little worried. Mostly about the dog.

Warning: Fluff. Like straight-hurt-your-teeth fluff. But that’s all, no spoilers. Be warned it’s probably rougher than usual - still shaking off the rust.

NOTE: If you want to be on a Ward (or all) tag list, let me know :) (Photo credit to @presidentmeachum, originally on insta I believe)

“...Charlie?” The name awkwardly rolled off your tongue as you tried to make sense of the scene in front of you.

Ward was perched on the edge of his expensive and impeccably clean couch, grinning as he roughed up the fur of a beautiful dog, apparently named Charlie. Looking up at Ward, Charlie licked at his chin, pulling a soft chuckle from his throat. It all looked sweet, but your mind still couldn't process it, not really. Even Ward's dark t-shirt and jeans instead of a fitted suit was out of place.

Sure, he was finally using some vacation days and was technically on holiday, but still...

Biting your lip, you were hardly aware of the dull pain you were causing as you picked through what to say. But you took too long.

“What, you prefer Charles? That's a bit formal, don't you think?” His narrowed eyes were undermined by the flash of his teeth from his wide, uncharacteristic smile. His grin only grew as the pup lightly nosed against his jaw.

“Uhh...no. No...no that's not my...that's not what I'm saying.” Each word felt slow and clumsy as you tried to say something. Anything.

Letting out a quiet sigh, Ward's eyebrow arched high as he looked up at you. Tilting his head, he leaned back against the couch, watching as you stood in the entrance to the living room with a coffee still in each hand. “Then...what? You don't like dogs anymore?”

Finally breaking your stupor trance, you looked around for a spot to set the coffees down. Just as you lowered them to the coffee table, you eyed Charlie before setting them on the bookshelf instead. “It's just...okay, walk me through this again?”

As you sat down, Charlie came over with no hesitation. Loudly sniffing as close to your face as you'd let him, he let out a loud, decisive huff. When he continued to stare, you reached down and nestled your hand along his neck to scratch behind the German Shepherd's ear. Immediately, his jaw relaxed and his tongue lolled out as he inched himself against you.

Even through your hesitation, you couldn't deny how sweet he was. But you silently swore to yourself that you would not fall in love with him.

Ward's smile finally dropped slightly as he let out a lengthy sigh through his nose. Shifting to face you, he rubbed his thumb over his forehead before shrugging. “Walk you through what? I got a dog.”

“From where, exactly? I don't understand.” You focused hard on your words and not on Charlie, who plunked himself next to you and continued to lean against your leg.

“A friend of mine-”

You hadn't meant to purse your lips together, clearly advertising your confusion. But as he paused and frowned, you realized your face had betrayed you. Just as you were about to apologize, Ward's eyes darted down to Charlie and the wrinkle in his brow smoothed out.

“Fine. It was someone from my meetings...Anyhow, his wife works with one of the no-kill animal rescue groups and was upset because this guy had just been brought back by a third family in the last year. And...I don't know...” As he spoke, his features softened.

When he glanced up at you with his warm expression, it was impossible to try and keep a level head. It was almost as bad as looking into Charlie's face.

Dropping your stare to the coffee table, your eyes widened with frustration. “Right. And why were these families bringing him back?”

“I don't know, but not because of Charlie. It's New York, people make bad choices all the time. They all said he was a sweet dog, they just didn't have the space, or the time, or their kids got bored...” Sitting up, Ward's hair fell forward as he grumbled out what he had been told.

Charlie's ears perked as he looked over at Ward. Stopping his light panting with a quick snap of his jaw, he left your side to head back over to the couch. Resting his hand on the worried pup's shoulder's, Ward almost had to hold him down from trying to jam his nose into his face.

A chill drifted across your exposed-feeling leg.

Clasping your hands over your knees, your voice dropped into a gentler tone. “So...people got bored, didn't have much space, or were too busy...like...too busy with work maybe?”

Ward's head bobbed back as your point finally hit him in the face. “Nice, Y/n, really? I'm not like that. Charlie is family, and family is family. Period.”

Although you had seen this defensiveness before and knew it was just a step away from turning into a fight, you never expected to see it over a dog.

Keeping your voice level, you tried to stop it from escalating. "I get that. I do, and honestly, it's one of the things I love most about you. But...don't you think...I mean how often are you even home?"

“I'm here right now?”

This might be harder than you thought. But this dog deserved better than a fourth return.

“Yeah, but you're on time off, Ward. Normally, you practically live at the office. You working for sixteen hours a day isn't going to be good for Charlie.”

Burrowing his fingers through Charlie's fur, Ward shrugged. “So I won't.”

“Oh really?” Your tone lost its gentle edge and fell flat. You wanted to believe that but...

“Really. Listen, I've already been giving that some thought and so much has changed. For me. For Rand. I don't need to be there all day every day anymore. I just don't. There are more than enough competent people there to keep the daily business in order and, at most, I'm needed for a meeting or two a day.” His words came out in a rush, as though he morphed from defensiveness to a need to convince you.

At least you hoped it was just you he was trying to convince and not himself.

Before you could say anything, he pressed on. “And if I'm going to have a longer day, I can hire a dog walker. Hell, maybe even on my short days I'll have a dog walker if that's best.”

Softly shaking your head, you couldn't help your quiet snort of a chuckle. “Yeah, well it all sounds good but...”

“Because it is good. And...our days offset each other pretty well. So if you were here, actually here, then he wouldn't be alone much at all.”

Your eyes snapped to his, catching his faint grin as he paused.

“Excuse me?” It wasn't exactly the most elegant response, but your pulse spiked so suddenly, it was hard to think.

Straightening, you could practically see his usual confidence seeping back into his bones. When he continued, there was a hint of humour but his tone was firm. “I mean, why not? You're here almost all the time anyhow, so there's not much point in paying rent for a place you hardly use. Plus, I have a dog now so that's got to be a good selling point.”

Swallowing heavily, you forced a smirk, trying to at least appear somewhat relaxed. “Wow. Logic and selling points? How romant-”

“I'm happy when you're here.” As he cut you off with his simple admission, the humour dropped from his face. Charlie leaned against his knee, comfortably settling in as Ward continued to scratch behind his ear.

“And, unless I'm way off base, you're happy when you're here too,” he finished.

As much as you wanted to enjoy rush rising in your chest, you firmly clamped a lid on it. “I...it's not that I don't...”

Watching you fumble for words, Ward's eyebrows rose with muted amusement. But he didn't interrupt.

Taking a deep breath, you started again. “I am happy. And honestly, I've thought about it before. But...don't you think that's a lot of change for you right now? I know you've been through some serious shit and that you're taking a step back from work to sort yourself out...but I just don't know if changing everything about your life at once is a good idea.”

Sliding forward in his seat, he reached over and grabbed your hand as Charlie attempted to lick his arm. Cautiously, he shot you his most charming smile before nodding. “I have been taking a step back, and it didn't take long for me to see what's important. This isn't some panicked reaction to a trying last year, okay? This is just me, finally doing things the way I want to do them. I mean...assuming you want that too.”

It was a lot coming at you all at once. This new, casual and laid back version of the man you loved had you desperately trying to change gears. Which mostly sounded like screeching tires in your head as you tried to stop everything long enough to process.

Before you could fumble over your words more, Charlie's nudging against your arms grew more insistent. Finally, Ward relented with a chuckle. “Alright, pal.”

Giving your hand a final squeeze, Ward stood up and nodded towards the door. "Listen, why don't you think about it? Let's just take this guy out for a walk and not worry about anything for now, okay?"

Ward...not pushing like a headstrong bull until he immediately gets his way? Also new.

Everything still had a dreamlike quality as you watched him reach for the leash that already had its own hook by the door. The pair fell into an easy routine as Charlie stood patiently at his feet, waiting to go while Ward threw on his shoes. For something so different, it already looked so comfortable.

Nodding, you grabbed the coffees from the bookshelf and joined them.

How could you say no?

Taglist: @foreverfaeries @flower-two @getlostinyourparadise @selfishkiddo @angelicshinigami @parkersbaby @natsukitakama @fortnitevevo @randomtwistedlife @stjernegoblin @hudsonbird

#ward meachum x reader #ward x reader #iron fist #ward meachum #netflix iron fist

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cordoniantrash · 5 years

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Once Upon Another Time: Chapter Three

AU: In another time where the brothers Beaumont did not reach Cassandra in time, the waitress turned lady went back to New York to rebuild her old life. After finding an unexpected souvenir, she set off and joined her long lost family. Four years later, a newly divorced King of Cordonia arrives in New York in hopes of reuniting with his beloved. Instead of Cassandra, all he found was a postcard with the word Edgewater written on the back.

Catch up here: Prologue, Chapter One, Chapter Two

Plus a masterlist if you guys are interested.

Hello! Welcome to my longest chapter yet! Thank you so much to the people that liked, reblogged and commented on the previous chapters. You guys rock!

So, a bit of a heads up: I just scored a gig teaching kids so I might not have as much writing time as I used to, so the following chapters might be a bit slower after this. I’m really sorry about that. I’ll do my best to write at least a couple of scenes or paragraphs a day but I’m just letting you guys know.

Grammatical errors are mine and comments are welcome.

Big thanks my beta @thequeennefertipi!

Disclaimer: I don’t own the characters, Pixleberry has that privilege, title for both the series and the chapter titles, plus the epigraphs are from Sara Bareilles’ discography

Pairing: Liam x MC

Warning: angst, plot points (?), non-graphic mentions of bullying

Words: 3030

Chapter Three: Send Me the Moon

Sweet sun

Send me the moon

Empty the skies out

Bringing me one step closer to you

“Dearie, have you seen Lucas?”

Cassandra looked up from her laptop. “He said he was off to explore the garden. Aunt Lizzy’s with him.”

Her aunt’s eyebrows furrowed. “I was just with Elizabeth. She was going back to Ledford for the night.”

Cassandra’s blood turned cold. She bolted from her chair and almost ran out of the room, Aunt Clara at her heels.

“Lucas? Lucas! Where are you?”

----

“His Majesty, the King!”

Liam took a deep breath and watched as the double doors were opened. It was the welcome party for the new British Ambassador to Cordonia and for the sake of the continued goodwill between the countries, he had to attend. As he stepped into the room, he could see the nobles and the dignitaries standing to attention. Even further back he can see the flashes of cameras as the media took coverage of the event. It’s nice to be part of something else for once.

It had been two weeks since Madeleine turned to the media. Liam felt that he had barely stepped off the jet before the media descended on him like a tsunami wave. They had taken to camping outside the palace grounds, calling his office at all hours of the night and running the footage of his social season to analyse his every move. Madeleine had cited negligence and indifference as to why they divorced, saying that he had ignored her all throughout their marriage. It was technically true, Liam conceded. He was just thankful that Madeleine and the media had not seen to drag Cassie’s name into this media storm.

The evening dragged on. He had shaken hands and conversed with what felt like every person in the room. There were papers to be reviewed, trade deals to negotiate and politics to play. It was tiring. Repetitive. Empty.

Dinner was a respite from the event. He found himself sitting near the new British Ambassador. He had briefly met him earlier. Charles Harper. A stout, kind-faced man that somehow seemed familiar to Liam. He was beyond qualified; years of public service, with barely any dirt attached to his name. A Viscount of an old English estate. The exact location had been redacted from his file. His staff and the embassy said that it was a clerical error. Liam had a funny feeling about it. Intuition, his mother would call it. A possible threat, his father would say. Am I turning into my father? Am I seeing enemies at every shadowed corner?

“How are you finding Cordonia, Your Excellency?” Might as well make small talk. Can’t exactly afford to give him a negative impression of the country, not with Madeleine out there.

“Oh, you have quite a charming country, sir. A bit like a fairy-tale as my niece would say. I’m fascinated with the history of it all.”

Liam smiled despite the pang he felt at those words, remembering the woman that had thought the same thing. He forced himself to focus on something else. The man mentioned history. Maybe they can get along after all. “Well, I consider myself a bit of an enthusiast when it comes to my country’s history. Is there any particular era that interests you?”

Behind his glasses, the ambassador’s eyes lit up. It was just after the desserts were served that Liam got around to asking Charles (“You can call me Charlie”) Harper about that little detail in his file.

“Oh! Well, that’s because our family has several estates we can call ancestral. The result of neighbours intermarrying for generations, you know?” At Liam’s nod, he continued. “Although my sister and I mostly reside at Ledford Park these days. That’s another ancestral estate of ours.”

Liam nodded once more. That’s one mystery solved. He tried to convince himself.

The funny feeling did not go away.

----

They found the toddler sitting by the stairs that led to the attic. Relief flooded into her veins. She scooped her son into her arms, shaking all the while.

Lucas for his part seemed unaware of what happened, but sensing that something was wrong, wrapped his little arms around his mother’s neck and held on.

“Mommy?” he asked.

“God, Lucas you scared me. Where were you?”

“Attic.” He untangled himself from Cassandra’s arms and tugged her hand towards the stairs. “Come see!”

Behind her, Cassie could hear her aunt chuckle and mutter “Oh, Lucas.”

The young child led them up the stairs into one of the attic rooms in the estate, chattering all the while.

“Mommy, I found lotsa hats! And toys! And books! Look, Mommy! Look!” Cassandra tried to steady her still frantic heart. I really need to loosen the reins. But he’s four!

Her eyes wandered over the various items stored in the room then landed on a small leather-bound journal near the window. It looked like Lucas had already gotten his hands on it judging by the disturbed dust on the surface. Curious, she picked it up. Three letters were emblazoned on the corner of the cover. CVF. She flipped it open. On the front page was a name.

Cordelia Vivian Foredale

“Hey, Auntie? I thought we’re the last Foredales.”

“Oh, we are. Why do you ask?”

Cassie showed her the journal. “Oh! That’s our cousin dear. Mind you, a distant one. Her father was my mother’s older brother if I got that right. He died in an accident. Unfortunately, he was an only child, and then he had a daughter. That’s why we got to keep the estate and our holdings. Had he lived, this would have gone to him, seeing as he’s the only male heir of the family at that time.”

Aunt Clara peered at the journal, “Anyway, I haven’t the faintest idea of why her journal’s here. She hasn’t been in England for decades!”

Curiosity peaked. Cassandra flipped through the pages. It was all written in Greek. Liam would understand this. She quickly banished the thought.

“What happened to her?”

Aunt Clara looked up from the box that she and Lucas were digging through. It was full of hats.

“Her mother remarried and cut ties with us, gave up their claims even. Then they moved to Greece if I remember correctly. I think she was just six. She hasn’t been back here since.”

“Oh.” Cassie placed the journal back where she found it. It might be important. “Well! I think that’s enough exploring for one night! How ‘bout some hot chocolate?”

Lucas perked up and cheered. “Let’s go, Mommy!”

----

The Cordonian Royal Palace, Midnight

Duchess Olivia Vanderwall Nevrakis stood by the window. Behind her, sprawled on the couch fiddling on his phone was one Maxwell Beaumont. This is taking so long.

Olivia let out a huff. “They’re late.”

Maxwell looked up. “Liam just arrived from a formal dinner at the British Embassy. Hana’s waiting for her mother to leave her room.” he glanced back at his phone. “Drake should be here by now.”

Olivia turned to face him. “Of course, he’d be late.” She smirked. “Maybe he got too caught up brooding.”

Maxwell let out a laugh just as the door turned. Hana had silently entered the room, taking care to close it quietly. Maxwell jumped to his feet and rushed toward the lady. “Hana!”

“Maxwell!” The two of them hugged jumping on the balls of their feet in excitement. Urgh. Children. Why do I feel like I’m the only adult in the room?

“Are you two quite done?”

They both straightened up. Hana looked at her, nodding politely.

“Hello, Olivia. It’s been a while.”

“Hmm. It has been a while, hasn’t it? Still engaged to the workaholic?”

Hana sighed but answered affirmative. Not for the first time, Olivia felt a pang of pity for the lady. For all the trouble being the Nevrakis heir gave me, at least I wasn’t subjected to that.

“I can always arrange a tragic accident if you want to.”

“Olivia!” Hana reprimanded. Olivia rolled her eyes. Ever the proper lady.

Olivia shrugged. “Just think about it.” The unspoken I’ll do it hung in the silence that followed.

The Lady opened her mouth to reply, but the opening of the door interrupted her. The three of them turned at the sound.

King Liam stood at the doorway, still dressed in his tux. Beside him in all his denim-clad glory, already sulking, was Drake Walker. Liam took in the scene. He raised an eyebrow, amusement clear on his face. There was a time I would have done everything to be by his side. But right now I see one of the few people I’d gladly call family.

“Are we interrupting something?”

“Nope!” Maxwell said cheerily. “I’m so glad you guys came!”

“’ Course we did,” Drake grumbled. He looked at Olivia and gave her a grudging nod. Olivia gave in to the urge to roll her eyes.

“Well then,” Liam said as he stepped into the room. He took out a yellowed postcard from his breast pocket then turned to face them. “Shall we begin?”

----

Four years ago, Italy

Liam stared at the images that the group presented to him. His mind was swirling. The night turned out to be a whirlwind tale full of intrigue, deceit, and misunderstanding. Someone, who turned out to be the ever considerate Maxwell, took photos of his bachelor party in New York. Photos that almost ended up in tabloids thanks to Bertrand’s desperation. What they had thought to be a lead had been a red herring. Liam wondered how many of such things would they encounter during the tour.

It does not help that they can’t seem to agree on anything. Liam thinks they should operate with caution, lest they upset the hive and alert the swarm they’re using the tour to find Cassandra and clear her name. If he wasn’t sure then, the information gathered at Applewood confirmed it. This was no misunderstanding. This was no prank. What they’re facing is a conspiracy whose reach and breadth they did not know of. They all need to be careful.

Drake wants to rush to New York once it became obvious that Cassandra had cut all ties with them. Liam wanted nothing more than to run there himself and explain to her. Perhaps she’ll even forgive me, he thought. But he can’t. As much as it would be easier to send Drake, it would be too suspicious. Drake Walker was known to the court as Liam’s best friend. There was a time when they all assumed that Drake would follow Jackson Walker’s footsteps and become a King’s guard himself. In fact, half the court still believes this to be the case.

Hana agrees that they should be careful. Although he could see that she was becoming impatient with the pace in which they are going. They did not expect this conspiracy to be this intricate. There were so many working parts that there is no telling which way is up or which way is down. Hana, being a Lady of the Court and a guest of the Queen-in-waiting, cannot step out of her gilded cage and physically search for her best friend.

Maxwell, on the other hand, is still optimistic that they can contact Cassandra. Every day he kept trying, never faltering, always insisting that “Cassie would pick up. She just needs some time, maybe she’s just waiting for us!” Liam envied his optimism.

He thought of how Olivia helped with the investigation. Of how she figured out who took the photographs. She’s always been cunning, Liam thought. It seems like a new player has emerged and he is grateful that she’s on their side.

----

Four years later, Paris

Savannah breathed a sigh of relief. Bartie’s fever had finally broken. The six-year-old had tossed and turned for most of the night thanks to his sickness. She had never felt her loneliness more during those hours. Six years in Paris and the hurt and pain of Bertrand’s last words still lingered over her. Bartie occupied her days while she longs for Cordonia and the people she left there at night.

Maxwell was still supporting her and her son, but the flow of money was slowing. It was subtle at first, but now it is almost always late. Savannah said that Maxwell needn’t send money all the time. She can get a job and help, but Maxwell was insistent. Still, Savannah was worried.

In her self-imposed exile, she wonders on what’s happening in Cordonia. She knew the basics as they made international news. But that news did not contain what she was looking for. She wanted to know how her brother was doing, what really is going on in the court and with the Beaumont brothers.

I wish I could go back and see them again. But I’ve made my bed and I must lie in it.

----

Cordonia

On onto local news. The public is still uncertain over the claims made by Countess Madeleine over the dissolution of her marriage with King Liam. One citizen, who wished to remain anonymous, noted that it seemed unlikely, as, for the past four years, our Monarch’s conduct and service to the people had been impeccable. They finished that statement by saying that they would still support King Liam even if such rumour were proven to be real.

Royal analysts have also added that it was the then-Queen who was the subject of various rumours surrounding her conduct, especially to that of the Palace staff, reminding people of the long line of secretaries and aides that have either been fired or left her Ladyship’s staff voluntarily. Anna de Luca, who had been reporting on the Royal Couple since their respective Social Seasons has also added in that even if these claims are proven to be true, Countess Madeleine cannot return to her previous status as Queen consort. Meanwhile, the recent divorce and the Countess’ following exposé had made international news…

----

Edgewater, two days later

Cassandra stared at the screen, barely moving. Her mind kept on lingering on the words just mentioned by the news anchor. Her heart was beating rapidly, as though she had been running and only just stopped.

Divorced. Liam’s divorced.

“Pretty!” A voice snapped her out of her thoughts. Looking around, she saw that Lucas had come in, clutching his stuffed bear and still wearing his pyjamas. He was looking at the TV screen. Cassandra’s brain took a second to connect the dots. The TV was showing a clip of the Cordonian Palace. Blood rushed through her ears. This is the first time he ever saw Cordonia, she realised.

The clip ended, and another was shown and her heart nearly stopped. It was Liam. Beside her, Lucas exclaimed.

“He looks just like me!”

----

The King’s apartments, The Palace

His hands kept on fiddling with the picture. It was him and Cassandra on the night they met. Maxwell had given him a copy after they’ve failed to find her in New York four years ago.

They were smiling and laughing in front of the bonfire, Cassie looking at him with a twinkle in her dark eyes. Her hair had been let loose, curls framing her face, and she was wearing her trusty black leather jacket. For the past years, it had sat on his bedside table. He made sure it was either the first thing he saw when he woke up or the last thing before he went to sleep. The ghost of her always at his side.

Someday soon I’ll see you again. But for now, I’d just settle for this.

----

The Diplomat

Lady Kiara of Castelsarreillan had just ended a call from Anna de Luca when her office line had rung again. If I’d known Madeleine would cause more damage as a disgraced queen than a ruling consort I would not have taken this post.

Courtiers would like to think that Kiara had been one of the lucky ones. Perceived by Madeleine to be competent, she was spared most of the tirades and power trips the other ladies were subjected to. Hana had toughed it out, which earned Kiara’s respect. That, and the secret they shared between them.

Poor Penelope was not so lucky. For three years Kiara witnessed Madeleine chip away Penelope’s confidence. Kiara, Hana and the other ladies intervened whenever they could but Madeleine was cunning and near unstoppable. With each insult, Kiara’s rage grew. After a year, Penelope had reached her breaking point. Despite their pleas, Penelope retreated to her family’s estate and refused to come back to court. The incident nearly cost Madeleine her well-cultivated reputation. It certainly left her with only a few allies.

Kiara had been with Hana when they placated Penelope’s parents. After the meeting ended, Olivia extended an invitation for her to go to Lynthikos with Hana. It was there, safe in Olivia’s territory that she learned of King Liam’s plan to divorce Madeleine without his father’s knowledge. Kiara agreed. When she returned to the Capital, her new post was waiting for her.

Another ring interrupted her thoughts. Bon sang!

Gritting her teeth she picked up the telephone and answered. It was her secretary.

“Yes?”

“My lady, your lunch appointment with Duchess Olivia is in an hour,” sensing her irritation when she did not answer, he continued in a smaller voice, “You told me yesterday to remind you.”

Kiara suppressed a sigh. She could hardly fault him for that.

“Merci Justin. Let her know I’ll be on my way.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

An hour later and she was sitting in front of the Scarlet Duchess outside a charming little café. As they tucked into their lunch, Kiara noted how Olivia’s eyes would occasionally glance around their surroundings.

“Don’t worry,” Kiara said. “I have an agreement with most of the paparazzi. We won’t be bothered here.”

Olivia pinned her with a look. “I’m not worried about the paparazzi.”

Kiara raised an eyebrow. “Ah. And can we talk?”

Olivia gave her a minuscule nod.

“Well then. Do you have a plan?”

“As a matter of fact, we do.”

“We?”

Olivia smirked. “It seems like we have the monarch’s blessing.”

Kiara smiled.

“When do we start?”

let me know if you guys want to be tagged!

@captain-kingliamsqueen, @doozysuzy, @mirandatwodots, @princesskennarys, @emceesynonymroll, @kingliam2019, @bobasheebaby, @princess-geek, @beardedoafdonutwagon, @texaskitten30, @fbloveschoices, @dcbbw, @los-cafeteros, @msjr0119, @hopefulmoonobject, @whovianwriter, @vaticanwaltz, @janezillow

#series: once upon another time #emgee tries to write #liam x mc #king liam x mc #playchoices #choices: stories you play #choices trr #choices trh #the royal romance #the royal heir #trr and d&d crossover

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bob-dude · 4 years

Text

Some Orange Jerk’s Hazbin thoughts, the longer version.

As I mentioned in a prior post, I thought the pilot was so-so. Don't hate it with a capital H but find everyone's love for this show to be... odd. Though considering the late 2000s Devinart vibe I get from the show’s art style, probably not too odd now that I think about it. So here’s my longer, more rambly, thoughts on Hazbin Hotel by some rando Orange Jerk on Tumblr. And as always, more power to ya if you do love it, obviously.

Art direction wise, I’m just not crazy about Viv’s color choice. The red and black and pinks give a Valintine’s day meets Wonderland Queen of Hearts vibe that just doesn't personally work for me on a visual level.

As for hell itself, I thought the background stuff like ‘Radio Hack’ and the main city being named Pentagram to be... eh? Like, that’s the kind of world-building we’re going with here? It felt less like Hell and more like a city with the trapings of Hell, at least for me.

So, main cast, the trio as it were. Eh. Meh. Like, Charlie is a Disney Princess of Hell... even though no one treats her as one respect wise which just strikes me as odd from a background perspective. And Charlie has that standard Disney nativity going on... even though she was born and raised in Hell? Like, why bother to make your most optimistic and native character a denizen of hell if she’s not going to look or act the part personality wise?

The reason the personality thing confuses me I guess, is that take Charlie out of Hell and we’ve seen her character a thousand times before: The bubbly sweet optimistic girl that’s been done so many times before. Is the ‘But in Hell!’ aspect really that much of a grabber for people? Guess it is and more power to em but it just strikes me as a strange creative choice where once again a character's personality doesn’t logically flow from their background.

Design-wise Charile is fine, red tux reminds me of the God from the 1977 Oh God movie so that gets a thumbs up in my book. Still a bit weird that a princess is wearing it but it makes sense with the Hotel set up and all so her outfit has a logic to it.

Then we have Vaggie. So, legit question here people: If you went into the pilot blind and Angle Dust didn’t make his ‘taco’ comment would you have ANY idea that Vaggie is supposed to be Latina? Because I legitimately had no idea that was what her design was supposed to say about her as a charchter. Also didn’t really get a moth vibe from her, either if I’m honest. As for her personality, she’s the standard ‘loving supportive’ GF but with an angry side protective side for Charile... and she’s a Latinia/Latinix. Does... Does no one else think that’s just a bit... off? Making the one clearly marked Latinia character the ‘angry girlfriend’ archetype?

Also, that weird pink X eye patch bugged the hell out of me when I was watching. Totally petty as shit nitpick, but I had to vent on that bit. Honestly, though Vaggie is also Meh? Like, she’s in a relationship with Charlie, cool and all but she just doesn’t strike me as a terribly interesting character if I’m honest. Gives me a sort of Lisa Simpson ‘stick-in-the-mud’ vibe.

And then we have Angle Dust. You know, in the words of Netflix’s Big Mouth, “Sassy and Gay” isn’t a personality. Angle Dust basically has that sort of ‘2000s Yaoi OC’ vibe and considering Vive once had a DA character sheet where she literally listed his personality is ‘Bitch’... Yeah.

Also, as I’ve said elsewhere, Viv and crew are doing too much with this guy. So he’s an ex mobster killed by his homophobic father in the 1920s (not mentioned in the pilot but it is a pilot in all fairness so you can’t throw all your cards on the table). And he’s a Spider Demon... even though per Word of Viv how everyone’s designed in hell doesn’t have anything to do with how they died on Earth (then why deign them that way?). And he’s a porn star (being ex Mob shouldn’t he be the one paying for porn stars as a power domination sort of thing?). AND he’s going for a Beetlejuice meets CJ from Regular Show sort of design.

It just seems a bit much, imo. Like, you could make him just a gay ex mob who mostly uses a Tommy Gun and design him to fit that and leave the Spider-Demon stuff out and it becomes a lot more manageable. Something like a simplified Zoot Suit, or the like. You could keep the sexual humor but throw it a bit more 1920s slang and pop culture references for characterization/comedy purposes (Vaggie, for example, has no idea what he’s talking about most of the time). Granted, I’d personally rather they ditch the ‘animal bits slapped on’ aspects of the designs as a whole but that, as always is just me.

For the record, I’m not ‘offended’ by Angle Dust as a character concept, I’m just not wowed or impressed, ultimately.

And then we have Alastor. Now, I LOVE Alastor as a character. He’s got that classic ‘reality warper’ vibe ala Bill Cipher or Discord but with a 1920s radio show host twist that I just think is amazing and the sound distortion they added to his voice was a really cool touch on top of it all. The problem, as always, comes more with the color choice. One one of your own characters can’t take someone seriously because they look like a ‘strawberry pimp’ that might be the time to maybe go with a different color pallet? Like, idk, maybe throw in some warm browns and brass golds to involve the 1920s radio vibe stronger? Radios of the 20s and 30s weren’t famous for being red, is what I’m getting at.

The other problem with Alastor is that he’s too strong a personality, ironically. He comes in at the tail end of the pilot and basically steals whatever interest a potential audience member (or at least fat orange jerks like me) might have had in Charlie's plight. It's like introducing Bill Cipher in the first episode of Gravity Falls. At that point whatever interest you might have had in the MC goes out the window and you think ‘what’s this dudes deal and can the show be about them instead please?’ Sure, Alastor in all of his pesudo deer (Those don’t look like horns in my opinion but whatever you say Viv) is fun to watch but he drowns out Charile through sheer force of charisma and showmen ship. Maybe the series itself will fix this but for the pilot at least I think it’s an issue.

Also, Nifty is Nifty and she needs her own spin-off ASAP. That is all.

Husk is literally Avocato from Final Space with wings and some gambling bits thrown in design-wise. That’s literally all I think of Husk, sorry Husk fans :(

The animation is good, but I do find it ironic that as much as people like the bitch about SU being off model, Hazbin I thought suffered from so many different animators tackling different scenes that it just felt jarring going from one scene to the next due to the difference in style and the shifts in animation pacing. Now, don’t get me wrong, a lot of it looks great but that switch in animators kinda just took me out of the experience in places. Well, that and the lack of proper scene transitions. Those are what also made the pilot feel like whiplash for me.

And now comes to Bob’s thoughts on the plot of the pilot and this is where the logical holes of the series start to get to me just a bit.

So. Charlie wants to reform the demons of hell of their sins so they can get to heaven and Hell can lower its population and angles down come down and deliver some righteous furry smiting on their asses. Okay. Stupid question but what the hell is Charlie basing this off of? I mean, was AD really THAT good an actor that Charlie thought going full steam ahead on the Hotel idea was the next reasonable step up?

Like, the Hotel was clearly a mess and her staff is literally just her and Vaggie and MAYBe Angel Dust. Even if the episode had ended with a horde of demons lining up to get into heaven by way of cleaning up their acts there’s no way two, three people could handle that (Or, you know, six if we throw in Nifty and Husk in fairness now that I think about it).

And that’s ultimately the thing with the pilot, the demons are assholes as you’d expect the citizens of hell to be but if they are assholes... why should we care if they get redeemed or not when not one of them is clearly interested in the idea? As cheesy as it would have been, the pilot ending with a horde of demons wanting to give this ‘become better’ thing a shot would have at least left the pilot on a better note to end on. As it is it just seems like Charlie is doomed to fail because no one but her gives a shit or belives about her idea for the Hotel and we have no proof that her idea will even work. Which just makes me wonder: Why should I care if no one else does?

Ultimately, the show has potential but the art style and aspects of the writing just don’t click for me. The show doesn’t say ‘adult’ to me so much as it does 'Hot Topic Teen trying to be adult' which works for a lot of people but for me I think Hellevua Boss as more potential concept-wise. And has scenes on Earth which do the red and black and pink and white colors of the demons a lot better visual justice contrast wise but that’s just me.

#hazbin hotel #sorry hazbin fans #your show is flawed and has room for improvement

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sawyersick · 5 years

Note

1 through 69 because you gotta twin with me

OMG ASDFGHJKL

aight here goes bitchez

1. are you religious?

nahh but my parents sent me to church camp when I was in elementary school??? For the cheap childcare I guess???

2. what animal do you think you’re most like?

I haven’t thought about this much but I think a field mouse!!

3. how do you take your coffee?

never……………………… I hate coffee

4. how old were you when you had your first kiss?

my mom’s bosses son forced himself on me when we were 6 lol so I don’t count that……….. so 15 i guess (according to my friend, if there’s no hormones it doesn’t count lol)

5. museum date or aquarium date?

AQUARIUM AQUARIUM AQUARIUM

6. do you have any tattoos or piercings? do you want more?

Just my ears are pierced and I have a whale (badly) tattooed on my hip I’ll post pix if you want but its pretty uggo

I want another whale on the other side so I’ll be symmetrical and a triangle hand tat….. maybe an eyeball tat (a tattoo of an eyeball…. not one on my eye lol)? I’m not really interested in anymore piercings tho

7. favorite fruits?

strawberries!!!

8. favorite vegetables?

when I was 12 I ate so many carrots my skin turned orange and my mom thought I had jaundice

also I heckin love mushrooms

9. i’ll only date you if _____. (fill in the blank)

I’ll only date you if you treat me with respect :(

10. do you cry a lot?

yeah lol at least twice a month minimum

11. who are your closest friends?

I don’t really have any? I’ve felt distant from my irl friends lately so idk probably just demo

12. have you ever been a part of a protest or a march?

I did the walk out for gun violence

13. do you play any video games?

helllllls yeah but I usually only play 3/ds

14. did you ever have an emo or scene phase?

yes and I think I’m still in it rip

15. what color is most of your wardrobe?

I think I wear a lot of blue! and black and white too i guess…… I’m trying to add more reds tho

16. what do you like to do for fun?

I bake and sew and draw! and listen to music

17. what is your biggest fear?

body horror tw for this one rip

being abandoned, being forced to do horrifically gross/unclean stuff, getting my eyes gouged out, getting the bones in my hands broken, getting acid poured on my face, the people around me dying, being forced to eat live slugs, getting my skin peeled off with a knife

18. name a subject you know a lot about.

whales/the ocean in general and baking!! and the band Liily

19. favorite fictional characters?

hm idk? Link and Zelda from LoZ, Clover and Snake and Aoi from 999, rhyme from TWEWY, Maka and Soul from Soul Eater, Storm from the Xmen, Ariel from the Little Mermaid, Chun Li, the Kagamines, Rilakkuma

idk I just thought about characters I have merch for

20. do you read a lot? what are your favorite books?

I used to??? Haven’t had the time for it in a while though and I’ve been reading a lot of how-to books as of late….. I really liked the Legend trilogy though

21. how would you describe your style?

art style and fashion style would both be classified as “cute but tries to be edgy” I think

22. did you have a favorite stuffed animal when you were little? do you still own it?

Yes!! a pastel elephant with a rattle in it named Elephant (very creative I know) He’s in my stuff somewhere now and this question reminded me to go find him again

23. what’s something most people love that you hate?

hmmm…. sports? mustard? airpods???? idk

24. do you think you’re a good singer?

actually yes? I wanna be in a band but I’m lowkey afraid of singing in front of people I know but have no problem doing it in front of an audience of strangers hmu if you’re in the SF bay area I’ve written 6 punk songs

25. who do you live with?

my parents and cat

26. favorite desserts?

ice cream, anything with chocolate or whipped cream, creme brulee, lemon tarts

I’m not too picky though lol

27. what is the best decision you’ve made in your life so far?

realizing that I can actually do mostly whatever I want and most things have fewer consequences than I think

also cutting people out of my life that emotionally exhaust me

28. favorite makeup brands?

uhhhh whatever’s cheap and doesn’t make my eyes burn ig urban decay is good when I can afford it

29. favorite clothing stores/brands?

Goodwill??? I used to shop at f21 but I try not to anymore

30. what was your first job?

working at a lake teaching windsurfing and sailing and I still work there

31. do you take a lot of naps?

n o I absolutely h a t e taking naps and try to avoid them

32. what is your favorite part about your body?

hmm I have pretty good hair i think and sometimes my eyes? I have huge (genetic) eyebags tho which gets me down

33. are you more dominant or more submissive?

In day to day life I guess I’m more dominant??? like I make decisions when nobody else wants to :0 also idk intimately since iM aN aDuLt vIrGiN and pretty sex repulsed but probably sub

34. are you more outgoing or more shy?

outgoing but sometimes it makes me annoying

35. how tall are you?

short…………………………. 4′8/143 cm

36. what is your body type?

uhh hourglass????? maybe pear I got them Thunder Thighs according to the guy who got kicked out of drama club for peeping in the girls changing room

37. favorite flower?

calendula, sunflowers, lavender and dianthus!!

38. favorite planet?

Neptune??????????????????

39. what do you want to dress up as for halloween this year?

I wanna be the bride of frankentstein but in a shiro lolita coordinate to make her look ~fancy~ or the Nancy part of Sid and Nancy if I’m in a relationship by that time

40. do you prefer to date people the same age as you, younger, or older?

Ideally the same age and I’m wary of dating anyone more than 2 years younger or older than me but I’m more willing to date older than younger

41. describe the person you’re in love with/have a crush on in great detail.

yall know who it is already but

in a band, dark hair, kinda tall, very fashionable, coincidentally happens to be the same racial mix as me, good at art, very humble, really sweet, lives in SoCal, has a hand tattoo of milk and “aye yah” on his arm, paints his nails orange, wears a lot of rings, gets freckles in the summer, prefers vanilla over chocolate, ties his shoes the cool way

42. who is your biggest inspiration?

idk at the moment? I like to draw from many inspirations

43. do you have any kinks?

???????????????????????????????????

44. do you own any pets?

one (1) very loving cat

45. which celebrity do people say you look the most like?

……………………….. myself

I literally had to google mixed race celebrities and STILL none look like me lol

46. do you like sports?

not really except I weirdly like baseball

47. have you ever seen a broadway musical?

Yes!! I won tickets to On Your Feet and Charlie and The Chocolate Factory

I also won Hamilton tickets but saw it in SF yall should download the app

48. what is your favorite kind of food?

noodles!!

49. would you rather be a fairy or a mermaid?

MERMAID actually I have a mermaid tail too so

50. what is your instagram?

@wishwhale :)

51. glossy lips or matte lips?

glossy by default because I have chronically dry skin/lips so matte lips are sooooooooooooooo uncomfy but it looks good on other people lol

52. do you like cherry, grape, blue raspberry, watermelon, or green apple jolly ranchers the best?

grape because im weird

53. what are your best personality traits?

I’d like to think that I’m kind and sometimes funny

54. what is your ethnicity?

asian/white

55. what different hair colors have you had?

brown and brown with pink that was supposed to be purple

56. favorite disney princess?

Ariel! bc mermaid

57. favorite album of 2017?

Humanz by Gorillaz or Deep Dream by Daddy Issues I guess

I was weirdly obsessed with Feel Your Feelings Fool when it came out but I’m not really into it anymore though

58. have you ever had braces?

nah

59. favorite holiday?

Halloween! Because dressing up is fun

60. post a selfie.

how do I make this smaller anyways I don’t normally wear this much makeup but I’m going to a small show tonight

61. are you a good swimmer?

Yes!! I swim once a week at my local pool

62. do you wear jewelry?

I used to wear a lot………. like multiple necklaces and bracelets and rings daily but now I wear my ring every day and a necklace/earrings if I remember

63. can you play any instruments?

I’m learning guitar!!

64. do you have any siblings?

short answer is no but you can dm me for the long answer

65. are your grandparents still alive? how old are they?

just my maternal grandmother and she is almost 90! My paternal grandmother lived to 102 so I’m hoping for those good genes though (I think she would have lived longer because my family suspects elder abuse by my weird aunt)

66. who knows the most about you?

hmm probably Demo or Emily

67. are you a more quiet person or do you talk a lot?

I! Never! Shut! Up!

68. what advice would you give to your 13 year old self?

shut the fuck up you stupid bitch you arent cool

69. how many pillows do you sleep on?

two

#ask #ask meme #my face #shut up sawyer #long post #loooooooooooooooong post

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abdicatedarchive · 3 years

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bachelorette party || the girls ft. some unfortunate guests

𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍: hasting’s house // summer 2021.

𝐅𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: katie, alice, milly, daniel, claire, channing, courtney, and julie.

𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐑𝐒: tbd.

𝐃𝐄𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐋𝐒: katie gathers everyone at her house to kick off the bachelorette party for her best friend, sadly her new sisters in law also have to be invited.

Katie had been running around like a madwoman for weeks to make sure this was the perfect bachelorette party. If this was a different couple, she would know that the nights would not intertwine at all. But it was Charlie and Alice, and the concept of them not getting to party with all their friends at once was a little out of the question. But first there was fun games and things to do. Katie wondered where Daniel and Milly would start their night. It was hard to get them pinned down, but Katie had sent a very convincing text about how pregaming with the girls would be smarter than pregaming with the boys. Everything was set. All there was now was problem solving when things went awry. She had done up the whole Hastings downstairs, phallic paraphernalia everywhere. It was cheesy, but with this being the first wedding of the friend group they had to go all in with everything classically tacky. Katie was stress eating penis shaped gummies when she heard the first knock at the door, and she scrambled to go and open the big doors.

Milly wasn't sure where her and Daniel wanted to start the night off, but after talking to Katie and thinking it through a bit, she thought it would be best to start with the girls. Mainly so she could get Channing out of the way first. That girl was such a pain in the ass, and she never seemed to change. If anything, she just got worse and worse as the years went by. Milly knocked on the door and turned her attention to Daniel, "Whenever you wanna leave, let me know and we're out. All three of them are going to be here and I don't think I can take that kind of headache for too long." she rolled her eyes, referring to the Summers sisters. Once Katie opened the door, Milly narrowed her eyes at her sister, she could already tell how stressed she was. "Breath please, we don't need you passing out on us."

"The three of them will most definitely be late, and someone will be pissed. Let me know when you want to leave, we can uber all night long between the two. Alice just needs cool people here, instead of the three headed bitches" said Daniel with a laugh as he rested his hand on her lower back as they went inside.

Katie smiled and breathed, "I'm not too stressed. You just know how judgey those three are. I can't believe Charlie insisted. Stupid family values" said Katie as she rolled her eyes. She knew her fakeness would come out the second that the three of them were there. Her and Claire would be chatting all night about all the places she had been and all the things she had seen. "Everything is going to be great, and if Alice isn't having fun then it's one phone call to Marshall and combining the parties so the couple can be reunited" she said, knowing that it was very easy to please Alice and Charlie at the end of the day.

"My money's on good old Chanchan." Milly told Daniel with the roll of her eyes. "Judgey? That's a nice choice of words, Katie. I'd prefer the term bitchy or insufferable, but judgey works too." she said with a small grin on her face. As long as she kept her cool around Channing, things would be fine for her. She wasn't trying to ruin Alice's night, but combining the parties didn't sound so bad either. "I'll be on my best behavior, scouts honor."

Alice tried to get over to Katie's place as quickly as possible. It would give her some time with her best friend before the soon-to-be sister in laws arrived. At this point in her life, she knew how to deal with those girls. Courtney was still a hassle, but the least of her worries. Channing was like a little fly always buzzing around, but she knew to not take her comments to heart. Then Claire was an absolute pain in her ass back in the day, but she could take it. Alice was not going to let them ruin her night. Once she was inside the house, she gave Katie a big hug. "Have I told you how grateful I am for everything you've done?" Katie just kept stepping it up every chance she got. Alice wasn't sure how she was going to repay her for all of this, but she knew it would be good. It's what her best friend deserved after all. "Some drinks before they arrive?" she suggested.

Katie gave her sister a hug, "If you do fight Channing, make sure the bruises won't be visible for the wedding" said Katie quietly to her sister. Perfectionism didn't leave Katie's mind. Sure, she was chaotic ... but that was so the end result could be perfect. "The bride to be is here!" said Katie as she gave Alice a hug, "yes of course, there is plenty of punch to go around. Danny will you serve up some glasses for us please?" Katie called out to Daniel.

Daniel started to pour the drinks for the ladies when the three pack walked in. Clearly they had been arguing, but who was to actually say. He picked up two cups and headed over to Milly, "where in Hastings do you think we could hide three bodies? Or at least just one" said Daniel with a little laugh as he took a sip of his drink.

Claire walked in with her sisters, Channing had been particularly annoying about why they needed to be at this event. First of all, there was going to be a lot of business connections that came out of this. Second, there were going to be some cute and newly single dads on the scene of this wedding so it was best to make a good appearance at something that wasn't directly related to it. Third and last, Claire was fully aware that if she were to ever die (due to not being immortal as she assumed) and she had kids that she would want Charlie to take care of them so they wouldn't turn out too terribly. Therefore this was the event to be at tonight. "Alice, you look amazing" she said in a sickly sweet voice as she gave Alice a kiss on the cheek.

Julie had arrived with a big smile on her face. It was always nice to being around this crowd again, and partying with them was even better. She was pretty happy with how life was treating her recently. Not only was the anger issue mostly under control, but she was even starting to help others out too. Bless that Hollingsworth's heart, she needed the most help, but Julie was really proud of the improvements she had made with herself. She was happy with her job, her boxing, and her relationship with Ross. Things had really looked up for her. She gave a big hug to Alice and Katie before noticing the Summers sisters. Oh god. For some reason she had not expected them to be here at all. She had just hoped they weren't as insufferable as they were before.

Milly saluted her sister as a response and walked over to Daniel to get her drink. Fighting Channing was always a nice pastime back in high school, and though she wasn't necessarily opposed to fighting her now, partying sounded a bit more appealing. She grabbed her drink and took a sip as she glared over at Claire, Courtney, and Channing, "I'd say somewhere near Henderson Falls." she answered before looking over at Channing with a very obvious sarcastic smile and waved.

Alice took a deep breath in before putting a fake smile on and saying hello to the three sisters. She at least knew that they wouldn't voluntarily ruin her night because of Charlie. Sure they sucked, but at the end of the day he was everyone's favorite, and if they pissed Alice off, they were pissing Charlie off as well. "Thank you, you do too. I'm glad you three could make it." That was an obvious lie, and they probably knew it. "We could just have a good time without any of our parents and their issues." The huge drama between their families was pretty much squashed, but the parents in Hastings were always having some kinds of issues. "It should be fun."

"Henderson Falls? I know the place" said Daniel with a slick smirk on his face, "you say the word and I'll grab the old truck". Dating Milly had been good for the last few months, their night with the ridicule of Channing would probably be their first real stressor. But he was confident that they would come out on top.

"Milly, Daniel" said Channing with the fakest voice she could muster, "heard you two finally got together at the mental hospital" the girl said as she put her hand over her heart. "It is so sweet that Daniel finally lowered his standards after that mental breakdown. You guys know how much I love charity work".

"Yeah thank god that drama is all done" Claire said with a fake smile, "but as you know, love always wins and people always find their best match. That's why my parents are still together" she added with a sweet smile. "Oh the most fun" Claire added in response, "I'm going to go get a drink, can't wait for the games!". Claire sauntered off to get a drink, knowing she was setting fires that she shouldn't.

Katie quickly went to refill Alice's drink after she talked to Claire, "I assume you need it, don't worry her page is being glued into the burn book as we speak" said the girl supportively, "also I have xanax and molly if you want it. I am very prepared for everything". Katie had a little bit of everything in her bag for the night: drugs, a sewing kit, a large bottle of water, airplane bottle shots, makeup, and an outfit change. Nothing was hurting this night.

The comment about Daniel lowering his standards stung a little, but Milly just had to remind herself that this was Channing, and nothing that came out of her mouth really mattered. "I've heard you're exactly the same." Milly pouted her lips and forced a frown. "My heart goes out to your family, truly."

Alice made sure to keep the fake smile plastered on her face as Claire spoke, it was amazing how these girls weren't getting their asses whooped on a regular basis with the mouths they had. Her mom was finally doing really well with her recent boyfriend, and he was actually a nice guy. Things seemed to be working out for all the Altman's recently. "Let's hope you find that love one day." she said, looking at Claire with a sweet smile of her own. She figured there wouldn't be another Summers wedding for a very long time. Alice immediately took a sip from her cup when Katie came to refill it, "Thanks. I'm good for now, but I might be asking for that xanax later." she looked at her friend with a small smile. "It's just one night, we'll be fine." Alice reminded not only Katie, but herself. Merging these parties was sounding better and better, but she was not going to give up on a challenge this quick.

Channing laughed, "just imagine, if Charlie and Amelia had worked out we'd basically be sisters" she said as she touched Milly's arm. Channing loved to push the envelope and get into people's space, as if it was a delight.

"I am holding out on the instinct to give them a xanax. But I don't want to keep an eye on them all night" said Katie with a roll of the eyes. "I swear if any of them ask me why I didn't bring anyone home from college ... or ask me why I plan weddings when I've had such bad luck I will go ballistic" Katie said, honestly it was a deep insecurity and she was working on owning it. "Okay ladies" Katie addressed the room, "a little while longer here and then we're gonna go ahead and hit the bars. No stripper tonight because everyone on their dossier was from our high school. Cheers to small towns and cheers to Charlie and Alice" she said with a big smile as she raised her glass. "Now, shots for everybody!" Katie encouraged as she went over and poured everybody a shot of tequila and put out the limes and salt.

Milly looked over at Channing's hand, already feeling a little itchy from her touching her arm. "Wow, us Hastings really got robbed of something special, huh?" she said with a sarcastic smile on her face. "But hey, you got Daniel, and what a treat that is. Right?" she looked over at Daniel and patted his shoulder. That connection was still a little too close to Milly though, but she didn't want to think about it.

"There's no way they'd tell you that, I can't remember the last time I saw any of them in a relationship." Alice said, looking over at the Summers sisters from across the room. "Plus, you're Katie Hastings. You need the best of the best, you're not gonna settle for just anyone. They can't even land a date cause everyone knows how crazy they are." Alice had high standards for Katie's potential partner, that was just the Altman in her. Her best friend needed someone perfect for her, and Alice was sure they'd come around soon. She got her glass and raised it up in the air with a smile on her face, she couldn't get over the fact that she was actually getting married to Charlie. It felt too good to be true sometimes. "And cheers to Katie for making this all happen, of course. Seriously, thank you." she said before taking her shot and kissing her friend on the cheek.

Daniel laughed and whispered in Milly's ear, "If you want to dump me so you're one further degree away from Channing I totally understand" before faking a smile to Channing. "So excited for my new sister, or do you prefer she demon?" he said, the same Daniel Altman smile plastered on his face.

Katie smiled when Alice gave her a kiss on the cheek, "we are for lifers!" said the girl with a big smile. This was such an important time in their lives. Everything was coming to a new chapter. What an exciting thing, first loves being forever. Sometimes Katie felt trapped here for no reason, like no one was ever allowed to leave. But if she was here with her friends then it was going to be a good one for sure.

Milly nodded her head and whispered back, "Already one step ahead of you. It's been a good run." she said jokingly with a smile as she went to grab Daniel's hand, "I'm sure she'd love she demon, but wow we gotta go Channing. It was really fun talking, as usual." she said with obvious sarcasm before she went over to her sister with Daniel.

"For lifers!" Alice repeated with a big smile. For as cruel as she was back in the day, and sometimes even now, she got real lucky befriending someone like Katie. They had a special bond that she treasured very deeply. Though her best friend was the wedding planner, Alice could not wait to do the same for Katie. Plan out her bachelorette party, be there for all the wedding planning meetings. It was going to be so exciting. Everything in her life was just perfect right now, not even Claire Summers could bring her down right now. Surprisingly, the rest of the night was actually really fun. They went out, got drunk, and eventually merged with Charlie's group. Just another win for Chalice! [ END ]

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dellaliz19 · 7 years

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So, I finally got to watch Kingsman 2: The Golden Circle (spoilers)

Look, let’s get it right out of the way; Kingsman 2 isn’t as good as the first movie. As of writing this post, it’s sitting at 50% critics approval on Rotten Tomatoes; I think it probably more deserves it’s 71% audience approval rating. Not great, but good, enjoyable.

As such, things I liked/thought were good;

1. Eggsy and Harry’s relationship and how it still stays a massive part of the heart of the movie. In the second movie it’s Eggsy that has to believe in Harry, a good twist on their relationship in the first movie. It’s down right heart warming to see them hug when Harry finally gets his memory back, and watching them fight together like a well oiled machine was terribly satisfying after the first movie denied it to us.

2. Merlin’s death. Now wait, let me explain. Absolutely, I’d have preferred if Merlin survived (and if there is a sequel and he’s shows up with prosthetics then I’m all for it), but Merlin’s death was movie death done right. It was a meaningful sacrifice that impacted the characters, the plot, and was true to Merlin’s character. It was an active decision, and having him sing Country Roads was brilliant and sad and inspired.

3. Eggsy and Tilde’s relationship. I was never really in the crowd of people who found the anal sex joke too outrageous in the first (I kind of found it strangely sex positive for her, and also I was pretty okay with the church massacre so I felt like the line was already probably crossed?) but when I heard that she was going to continue to be part of the sequel, I was a little wary. But honestly, her relationship with Eggsy was sweet and understated. Tilde - and Eggsy’s relationship with her - end up serving the important purpose of showing that Eggsy is still different from the Kingsman of old, something that since he’s now a suited gentleman, was going to be hard to portray. The fact that he has someone he does love and how that impacts his character is a nice contrast between someone like Harry, who had no one and had died with that regret, and it was good to have in the movie.

4. Julianne Moore’s Poppy. No, she wasn’t as good as Samuel Jackson’s Valentine but jeez that wouldn’t be fair to hold against her. Jackson’s character was a tour de force and although Moore never reaches that level, her villain was fun and engaging. Her “legalize drugs” was a decent follow up to the first movie’s “save the environment” villain scheme, and although it wasn’t quite as fun of a plot, the story was fine, with enough mystery to be interesting.

5. Soundtrack was still amazing. Those fights in Poppy Land to Word Up and Saturday Night’s Alright for Fighting weren’t the church scene, but they were still pretty damn good.

6. Harry’s handicap. I’m not sure if they specifically meant it this way, but it was kind of great to watch Harry’s troubles after he’s regained his memory, not just because they were hilarious, but also because if he’d lost an eye he would have lost his depth perception, and that’s the problems he was having. Also, watching Whiskey fuck up that bar while Merlin and Eggsy totally ignore him in favour of counselling Harry was great.

7. Elton “fuck you!” John. Look, Elton John was absolutely the best part of this movie, something I did not expect to be saying. If you’d told me I needed to watch Sir Elton John kill a guy with a piano dressed in rainbow feathers and glittery go-go boots I’d have wondered what drugs you were on. But he was hands down the most fun part of the movie, and his rescuing Harry (and more subtle anal joke) were absolutely fantastic.

That said, there were certainly some things that could have used some improvement.

And thus, in no particular order, the things I wasn’t that crazy about/needed some work;

1. Roxy’s death. Unlike Merlin’s death, Roxy’s death was pretty disappointing. Roxy was a secondary character, true, but she was, in many ways our tertiary protagonist (after Eggsy and Harry) and as a character, she deserved a death better than what she got. Her death was passive, in that it happened to her and she had no agency in it, it was the same death as all the other Kingsman we’d never met, and although it had an emotional impact on Eggsy, it really just served to let the story of “Eggsy and Merlin are all that’s left” happen, which is disappointing. Absolutely nothing would have been lost if Eggsy, Merlin and Roxy had been the ones to go the the USA and it’s too bad we couldn’t have had that happen.

2. The portrayal of America, in general? Look, I’m not American I’m Canadian, but I honestly felt a little uncomfortable with the portrayal of Americans in this movie. Apparently all American’s are southern cowboys and rednecks in this universe, which was kind of unnecessary. It worked in the first movie because we all understood that the church was a clear stand in for the West Borough Baptist Church and fuck those guys. But in this movie other than Halle Berry we didn’t get a single American character who wasn’t a huge “redneck” joke, and that joke got pretty tiring pretty fast.

3. Introducing the Statesman. Look, I get that the movie had a lot of plot to cram into its run time but seriously, I’d like to have had some of that time devoted to actually developing the new characters. The first movie had great secondary characters; Tilde, Michelle, Dean, Charlie, Roxy, Chester King and Gazelle all felt like they had personalities and real character. The Statesmen were at best, one note, and at worst, embarrassingly blank. Ginger Ale wants to be an agent. Champagne is an honourable guy who doesn’t drink (and is also 100% just Jeff Bridges). Tequila is a newer agent “bad boy” who does drugs (and spends most of the movie frozen). And Whiskey. Whiskey has a tragic back story that gets shoved in at the last second and that’s about it. These characters could have been so much more, but the movie never takes the time to develop them, and so you’re never really invested in what happens to them.

4. Whiskey and Eggsy’s dynamic. They mostly didn’t have one, and that’s the problem. The movie really misses a grand opportunity to have a contrast between how Harry and Eggsy’s mentoring relationship contests with Whiskey and Eggsy’s...mostly because they don’t have one. Sure, they complete a couple of missions together but even they don’t don’t really work together at the festival or the lab; they’ve got no real banter, no relationship. Instead of having Eggsy and Whiskey build a relationship of trust that goes against Harry’s style - maybe have them both be risk takers that go against Harry’s more traditional style - the movie forces conflict by having Harry shoot Whiskey, which Eggsy naturally responds with appropriate anger. That said, they don’t even do anything with that because Eggsy immediately forgives Harry and it doesn’t really impact his trust of Harry at all. That in turns makes Whiskey’s betrayal fall pretty flat at the end, and it’s a real shame because it wouldn’t have taken much to add a real emotional dynamic to that.

5. Would it have killed them to have had a scene with Eggsy’s mom and baby sister? Yes, Michelle was there for 1 second at his wedding but seriously, his mother and his sister were major parts of his character and his arc in the first movie. I’m not saying she had to be a part of the plot or anything, but it would have been nice to have them there and continue that motive of how important family is to Eggsy.

Honestly, Kingsman 2 was probably never going to be better than the first, for the same reason Men in Black 2 wasn’t better than its first movie, or really any other movie that hinges on the mentor/protege relationship. By the end of the first movie Eggsy was a Kingsman and so that dynamic with Harry that was so core to the heart of the movie was gone. That said, Kingsman 2: the Golden Circle tried admirably to capture a new twist on that relationship while still staying true to its original’s themes and while it’s certainly not flawless I think it succeeds more than it fails. I’d definitely recommend it for a watch if you enjoyed the first one.

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