#heloise reads

[heloisedaphnebrightmore]

The Spanish Love Deception & The American Roommate Experiment by Elena Armas

‘Heloise the book addict’ masterlist | Heloise’s map 

Slight spoiler below! (Two specific scenes mentioned)

The Spanish Love Deception 3* [Goodreads] The American Roommate Experiment 4* [Goodreads]

1. The Spanish Love Deception (TSLD Book #1)

As I said in my reading updates of TSLD, I didn’t want to leave a review on The Spanish Love Deception until I finished The American Roommate Experiment. Firstly, because I’m new to Elena Armas’ writing, secondly because TSLD was a rather big disappointment for me, but I couldn’t decide why I was so put off. Well, after reading TARE, see my reading updates of TARE, which I enjoyed a lot, I realised that it was specifically how TSLD was written. 

Now let’s get into why. 

The Spanish love deception started off interesting. I liked the enemies to lovers aspect of it. It wasn’t heavy, but the dislike from Lina’s perspective came through quite well. The chemistry and tension were there, executed well enough. Even the idea behind the story was sweet and the execution of said plot was alright. 

But I could barely enjoy the story because things I didn’t know I didn’t like, kept making me cringe. These two things were the descriptions of Aaron, which made the book a dictionary of synonyms and also whatever baby kink/fetish was present in the book. Now, I don’t judge, if you enjoy that I’m glad, but it’s certainly not my cup of tea. However, I based my rating on the repetitiveness, I did not take the scenes into consideration because somehow I felt like that would have been unfair. 

My issues started with the writing style the author decided to use. I felt like the book was a dictionary of synonyms. Not every chapter, but every page had some sort of description about Aaron being tall, broad, large, wide, big, I don’t think I have to go on. It was very heavy in description, but only about Aaron’s appearance. The amount of ocean blue eyes, him towering over everyone and his large palms engulfing Lina’s just put me off. I get it, he was big. But I didn’t have to be reminded of that on every page. I actually started writing the amount of times these descriptions appeared and I was barely at 33% when I stopped because it was so heavy in his descriptions. There’s a difference between emphasising certain features on a character and being repetitive. And unfortunately, this was uncomfortably repetitive. 

Now, the other thing which I mentioned before was the baby kink/fetish that was going on. I’m not sure what it is called, so please don’t bash me for it. I couldn’t find a better word. You see, if people like being treated like this or like to read about fictional characters being treated like this, I’m all for your happiness, but it is not my thing and to be honest, I personally felt uncomfortable reading this book. To explain what I mean:

At 71%, Aaron pulled Lina into his lap, wrapping his arm around her midsection. They were sitting on a stool in the kitchen. Nothing special about that. Until Lina’s auntie came in and our very large, very big, very muscly, very much towering over everyone, Aaron, decided to stand up, holding Lina to himself to great her aunt. My girl was dangling in the air, legs not touching the floor as Aaron stepped forward, holding her like a bloody doll. 

At 90%, Lina jumped on Aaron, wrapping her arms around his neck, her legs around his waist. All good right? Nothing out of the ordinary. Until my girl decided that she didn’t want to be put down, so Aaron shifted her to the side, seating her on his hips. Want in the parent holding the child move is going on? I could only imagine a father seating his daughter on his hip and I was so uncomfortable. 

Overall, it wasn’t a bad book. I felt it was repetitive, but the story was quite sweet. If it wasn’t for the dictionary of synonyms— because I did not include those particular scenes that made me uncomfortable in my rating— I would have given it a 4*, but with all these, it didn’t deserve it in my opinion. 

Luckily TARE, book 2, saved Elene Armas’ writing for me, because that book I enjoyed a lot.

2. The American Roommate Experiment (TSLD Book #2)

As I said in my reading updates of TSLD, I didn’t want to leave a review on The Spanish Love Deception until I finished The American Roommate Experiment. Firstly, because I’m new to Elena Armas’ writing, secondly because TSLD was a rather big disappointment for me. I asked around a lot, hoping the second book wouldn’t be as repetitive as the first one, but many said it fell flat, that the chemistry and tension weren’t there. So, I took it upon myself to judge the book for myself. And I can’t tell you how glad I am that I did, see my reading updates of TARE. 

The chemistry was there. 

The tension was there. 

The humour was there. 

The drama was there. 

The lust was there. 

The love was there. 

A sweet story was there. 

Humour, anger, sadness, happiness were all present.

Should I keep going?

This book did not fall flat at all. It was way better than the first book. No, we didn’t have a brooding, enemies to lovers story. But that doesn’t mean it fell flat. We all have different taste, but at some point I was honestly wondering if we have read the same book. 

TARE didn’t feel repetitive, didn’t feel forced or overly descriptive. It was just the right amount. I enjoyed the interactions more, how the story was unfolding and the characters themselves. The only reason I gave it 4 stars is because sometimes it felt a bit slow-paced and on occasions I was facepalming myself because of the characters’ decisions. 

But overall, it was a better book for me and I'm very glad I gave Elena Armas a second chance. 

#heloise the book addict #heloise reads #elena armas #the spanish love deception #the american roommate experiment #contemporary romance #books #bookish #book review #bookblr #booktok #bookstagram #booktwt #goodreads

[girlpetrarca]

guy who has only read the Letters of Abelard and Heloise, reading Ovid's Heroides: getting a lot of Abelard & Heloise vibes from this...

#is this too niche #no but! deianira?? briseide? I know Eloisa has read these poems. she must have. #not sure if I'll elaborate or not #but yeah #ovid #abelard and heloise #personal

[crownspeaksblog]

Watched potrait of a lady on fire and i cried, obviously.

What do i say about this movie other than it was so beautiful, seriously 20 minutes into the movie and i just knew it was gonna be fantastic and so heart wrenching and i was right. The acting, the writing, the directing are all so beautiful. God i wish i understood French because i just know the dialog would've been 10 times more beautiful and more heartbreaking even though it's already so fucking good!

I teared up a couple of time but i actually cried at the end. I got so emotional during their goodbye scene when Marianne hugged Héloïses mother just so she could hug Héloïse, the way she grabbed her and held her so tight but then had to push herself off of her, oh my god the way Marianne ran downstairs so fast, needing to get away because it was so clearly breaking her heart and then Héloïse told her to turn around and look at her one last time.. fuck me, it was so fucking heart wrenching (there's genuinely no better way to describe this movie, this is just gonna be me saying it's heart wrenching every 2 seconds, because it fucking was!!). Also the way i just knew when they were reading that book that that'll be how these two women's story end, i just knew it and i hopped so bad for them run away together or at least find their way back to eachother and when it ended like THAT it broke me, the music playing loudly, Marianne seeing Héloïse but Héloïse not seeing her but remembering her because of the music, god i just felt Héloïses emotions even from far away and it broke me even more the closer the camera got and the more i saw of her and then she just started smiling, my god it was good, it was so fucking good!!

#I wanted them to run away together so bad i wanted one of them to ask the other to run away and i kept hoping they'd end up together #i seriously kept checking the time and being like there's 4 more minutes we can fix this they can be together again and it didn't happen #and it broke my heart #i finished the movie at 3:30 am and i wanted these two to be together so bad i went to ao3... i legit have never finished a movie #and within seconds went to ao3. i just need to read something about those two finding their way back to eachother and i found one #and read the first 3 chapters and I'll finish it because i so fucking need these two back together!! #in my heart they do find their away back to eachother #potrait of a lady on fire #marianne x heloise #movies #wlw movie #👑

[edgysaintjust]

So we can assume Maxine owned JJ's teen romance novel?? What year was it written??

New Heloise was written in the 1760s and in theory it's obviously possible that he had this book. I do not think we have a reliable and full list of his personal belongings and library, or even a mention of it by a guest at his place (we only seem to have courtois, who was skipping or adding a lot of details according to his own will), but even if we had there is a possibility he owned it earlier in his life (before living with the Duplays) but we simply do not know.

As reported by Thompson in his bio of Robespierre;

An inventory made in 1794 mentions certain periodicals which he received as a member of the Convention; correspondence with foreign powers, ministers, and the Committee of Public Safety; official papers on the foreign trade of the Republic; several French, English, and Italian grammars; half a dozen dry-titled law-books; and some works on morals and history, such as Mably, Guicciardini, Fleury, and Fenelon. Philosophy is represented by de la Rochefoucauld, Francis Bacon, and Pope’s Essay on Man. Lastly there are some pamphlets, including Les crimes des reines de France, and a number of treatises on mathematical subjects.

No Rousseau, but we also know that ‘a volume of Rousseau or of Racine was generally open on his table’, as reported by Lamartine. I couldn’t personally navigate through the report on his personal belongings, but it’s obviously strange if Rousseau wasn’t mentioned here, and I would strongly doubt a volume or two didn't find a place in his modest book collection. And I mean, Robespierre *read* Rousseau (a shocking discovery, I know!), even for the Duplays during their family evenings, according to far more reliable Elisabeth Le Bas. She never specified which works exactly were present, so we cannot tell if Heloise was read there or not, but at least we can be sure of the author.

In the evening, after returning from the walk, Robespierre read us the works of Corneille, Voltaire, Rousseau; we listened to him as a family with great pleasure; he knew so well how to make what he was reading felt! After an hour or two of reading, he retired to his room, saying good evening to all. He had a profound respect for my father and mother; they too regarded him as a son, and we as a brother.

 Abbé Proyart, Robespierre’s former teacher who left us a bitter portrait of him from Louis-le-Grand claims that he had caught Robespierre reading so-called 'evil books' during his final year at college, and we know the school was cautious about the readings of New Heloise, but the book Robespierre was reading at the time was never specified. We do not know if it was Rousseau at all, but surely it must have been politically controversial, assuming we can trust Proyart with this little fun fact. Still, even if he did not own a copy of Julie, and despite that I cannot find him referring to the book anywhere at this moment, we can safely assume he read it. It was a huge boom in his youth (look at Hérault going crazy over getting it for 20k livres), and as he was someone strongly inspired by rousseau as a teen i cannot imagine any other option.

Élisabeth is definitely to be trusted with the details she included, but if we were to take the suggestion from Courtois, she doesn't specify if the books belonged to Robespierre. Perhaps he did not own any works of Rousseau and books said to be read by him were borrowed, which would be very strange but let's assume it to be a possibility. Still, I think we can all agree that this option sounds very unlikely. Hating to leave the ask unsolved, I'd say that despite the lack of evidence there is a fair chance he had his own copy at some point.

#the books he was reading were hardly specified. let alone books he owned #still i bet he tries to get himself a copy as a teen/young adult #new heloise affected the entire generation almost as strongly as the social contract #and it was an obligatory reading for every 1760s baby #so i bet he at least tried #i'm sorry anon i am answering this ask quite exhausted #if some things don't make sense poke me with a stick or another ask #ask #robespierre

[sggk]

Any books that you guys found like . really meaningful/lifesaving in this kind of situation that i should try? That’s complicated ig because different things strike different chords for people depending on the nuances of their situations obviously but my friend told me to pick up the alchemist & siddhartha since those were his and i might as well try a range lol

#Flagellating myself reading abelard & heloise can’t be my only strategy. lol.

[pacificovertures]

lucked into another copy of this!!! and its the annotated/abridged version i had before! wow!!

#i will NOT try and give it away in a grand romantic creepy gesture again #bird reads #la nouvelle heloise

[toss-a-coin-to-your-stan-account]

alright it's 3 am on December 23 where the FUCK is the eloise at christmastime meme

#mine #not me typing heloise on accident bc i read so much abt her & her bitchass tutor this semester 😭 #christmas #christmas eve eve

[winters0689]

Lester Papadopoulos is a comfort character to me. I’ve been a huge Percy Jackson fan for years now, and I’ve loved many characters (Grover, Nico, Leo, Percy, etc) and when I first read TOA I loved it, but after rereading it…

I fell in love with Lester, this caring and complex character who had many layers to him, that came off as selfish, and yet just so happened to be one of the most selfless characters in the book.

He’s caring, he’s a former god, he’s selfless, he pees himself regularly, he loves his children, he drowned his ex that one time, he is a god of many things, he has had many lovers. He has so many aspects to him that makes him so interesting.

He has a redemption arc as he realizes that he has made mistakes, but also realizes that he has been abused by Zeus, that it most likely influenced how he view things, and how he may have picked up toxic behaviors from Zeus. He learns to be more human, which is such a beautiful arc to see him go through.

He cares SO MUCH about others. He grieves for Jason and Crest and Heloise and so many other people. He tried to sacrifice himself many times and has many heroic qualities, but he is an unreliable narrator and sometimes what he says doesn’t reflect what he does.

His and Meg’s relationship is one of my favorite friendships in the books. It feels like it’s the two of them against the world at times. Meg cares so much for him while also calling him out on his bad actions (like when they were on Sutro Tower) and Lester cares so much for her as he realizes that she has been abused, that she needs help, and that he wants to help her separate from Nero’s influence, that he is so proud of her for standing up to Nero. They both form such a strong bond with each other and I just- I love them!

He is also absolutely hilarious. I find myself laughing as he is just- so snarky sometimes? He also sometimes know random things? (Like the Goddess of Sewers Cloacina) He is also funny when he has no knowledge on how human things work (like not knowing the price of Tater Tot’s)

He also gets anxious and freaks out and cries and he just feels. He gets happy and laughs and gets sad and laments. He gets flashbacks and clearly has trauma but doesn’t let that excuse his bad actions as he feels guilt for his actions. He can also be quite harsh on himself, blaming himself often and sometimes projecting that onto others (like him saying that Piper is blaming him for Crest’s death??) He is such an emotional character and I love him for that.

I love whenever he gets his godly strength as it starts with small things and then it gets to the point that he can create fire with his hands just by simply mentioning cauterizing a wound and breaking Nero’s fasces and having enough strength to drag Python into the Underworld and is strong enough to hold on just enough to save himself from falling into Tartarus. He is such a strong person who has an incredible pain tolerance.

There are many other things that I love about Lester Papadopoulos/Apollo. I think I can positively say that he is my favorite PJO character. I often reread TOA more than the other books. I love the story and how dark it can get while also exploring the themes of how abuse affects you.

I just- I love Meg and Apollo. I need for fanfic of them!! I need more content of them! Their friendship is so underrated, so when I see people make fanfic of them I get so happy!

I also love the community. The fan-artists and the fanfic makers and anyone who just writes long posts, like me, are so talented and is honestly the best fandom I’ve been in.

I hope the PJO show becomes popular so that more people can read these amazing series. I hope there will be a day that TOA gets adapted, and even if it doesn’t, I still have the audiobooks to go back to.

Thanks TOA fandom, for still going strong, even years after the books ended and new books have come out and are still making fanfic about them. It feels like the books have never ended, like the TOA books are still going on and are still making posts.

I’m so happy to be part of such a passionate fanbase.

Anyways if anyone is willing to offer any good fanfics then let me know!

#trials of apollo #lester papadopoulos #meg mccaffrey #toa #sunflower siblings #i got sidetracked #this was originally supposed to be me gushing about Lester Papadopoulos and ended with me gushing about how much I love this fandom #anyways the TOA posts aren’t going to stop anytime soon #except for when Alan Wake 2 comes out #in which case I will be obsessing or Alan Wake 2 #toa fandom

[rosepompadour]

Where can a young, witty and beautiful girl find excitement if not in love? She mentally reviewed all the descriptions of passion she had read in Manon Lescaut and La Nouvelle Heloise. There could be no question, of course, of anything less than a grand amour; a trifling love was unworthy of the most envied heiress in the Faubourg Saint-Germain. She wanted a love that would inspire great deeds. What wouldn’t she be capable of with a king at her feet!

Stendhal, The Red and the Black (1830)

#i've come to the realization that all of my favorite literary heroines fall into three distinct categories #amd mathilde is firmly in group a: the estella #she's in v. good company #i know madame de renal should be my favorite but i always go for the bitch and idk what that says about me! #the red and the black #stendhal #literature

[topquarkintown]

Whoops, realized I forgot to post it! But here's the Rose of Versailles article

By including New Heloise in the manga, Ikeda is making the claim that romance stories have both personal and political power. She argues that romance novels are read by and deeply move people of all social classes, political inclinations, and genders. Romance novels can start radical conversations and can tell oppressed people they are worthy of love and respect regardless of their social status.  If serious revolutionary philosophers like Rousseau wrote romance novels which helped provide the spark for the French Revolution, then shouldn’t we also take shoujo manga seriously as a form of political criticism as well?

#riyoko ikeda #rose of versailles #shojo manga #shoujo manga #year 24 group #french revolution #history

[heloisedaphnebrightmore]

what are sone of your personal favourite romance books??? as in absolute favourite

No! No no no! You did not go there! You do realise this is a very biased list, right?! 😁 I don't mean biased because everyone has a different favourite, but because when we talk about romance as a genre, it means a different kind of book to everyone, still the genre is decided by publishers. Not only fantasy, contemporary, historical, and dark romance etc., but like one of my favourite romance books is not even romance! It's political fantasy with a romance subplot, still it belongs to romance, because for some unknown reason someone decided to market it like that.

Yes, Hot Keys, Bonnier Books ltd., I'm looking at you! 😅

Anyways, you asked, so you shall receive! 😁 Keep in mind, this is my personal opinion, they are not in order and my taste changes faster than you can blink, so I take no responsibility.

‘Heloise the book addict’ masterlist | Heloise’s map

Side note: I know I always add trigger warnings, but like I'm so damn tired, please check trigger warnings for yourselves this time here or here. I'm so sorry, but I honestly don't have the energy to go through them all.

So, let's begin;

The Folk of the Air series by Holly Black (The whole series which belongs to The Elfhame series by Holly Black, same world setting, different couple)

The Cruel Prince #1

The Lost Sisters #1.5

The Wicked King #2

The Queen of Nothing #3

How the King of Elfhame Learned to Hate Stories #3.5

In January 2023 comes out the companion duology of The Folk of the Air series, The Stolen Heir duology, with its first book, The Stolen Heir: A Novel of Elfhame which will then be part to The Elfhame series.

I am a complete and utter simp for Cardan. You can tell me how you didn't enjoy the book, how the romance was barely there or how it was too political. Nah, don't care. I love politics, I study business after all. I love fantasy, and it was fantasy and more. Romance? Wasn't there? We all have a different expectation when it comes to romance. I'm a character and romance focused reader and it was still simp-worthy for me. Everyone can judge for themselves, but I am a sucker for Cardan and Jude even if I'm still slightly mad at Jude. 😅 However, objectively speaking, it is a political fantasy and should not be marketed as fantasy romance, but because it is, it's now on my list.

Electric Idol by Katee Robert (Book #2 of Dark Olympus series. Kind of a stand-alone, but the books are somewhat linked.)

Other books in the Dark Olympus series include;

Book #0.5: Stone Heart [Medusa and Calypso]

Book #1: Neon Gods [Hades and Persephone]

Book #1.5: Hades and Hades [Hades and Persephone; a Patreon short story]

Book #2: Electric Idol [Eros and Psyche]

Book #2.5: Zeus and Hera; a Patreon short story

Book #3: Wicked Beauty [Achilles and Patroclus and Helen]

Book #4: Radiant Sin [Apollo and Cassandra]

Book #5: Cruel Seduction [Aphrodite and Hephaestus and Adonis and Pandora]

Book #6: Untitled [Charon and Orpheus and Eurydice]

Book #7: Untitled [Minotaur and Ariadne]

Book #8: Untitled [Poseidon and Icarus]

Book #9: Untitled [Hera and Zeus]

Book #10: Untitled [Hermes and ?]

The series is contracted for 7 books as of now but Katee said even if something happens, all 10 books that have been promised will be published. I might add, she said it because fans are going crazy over Zeus and Hera. I'd also like to add that once Zeus and Hera's story is out, you bet it will be on my list because I've been a sucker for those two since the very first book!

I'm a sucker for Eros and Psyche's relationship. He is a simp for him, but they start off along the lines of "I should hate you, but f*ck it, I can't" and I am here for it. It is very spicy, like the plot is pretty much just there in the background, but the characters themselves, the banter, the chemistry, the witty remarks make up for plot that's lacking a bit. Many people started this book off as "meh" only to come out simping. It'll make you swoon if you let it. 😅

The Unhoneymooners by Christina Lauren (Stand-alone)

It was a funny, witty, enemies to lovers but also not, but also yes, with a lot of swoon-worthy moments. I love this book, it honestly makes my little heart swell. 😁 It's one of those little books that has a plot, but doesn't require you to use your brain much. Just a simple little read. I'm still mad about the conflict though, it made me quite pissed off. 😅

The Summer King Bundle by Jennifer L. Armentrout (Book #3.5-3.7 of A Wicked Trilogy, consists of 3 novellas: The Prince #3.5, The King #3.6 and The Queen #3.7)

Wicked #1

Torn #2

Brave #3

The Summer King Bundle: #3.5-3.7

The Prince #3.5

The King #3.6

The Queen #3.7

The Summer King bundle is basically a collection of 3 novellas that follow a different couple, though it is heavily connected to the series. I liked the Wicked Trilogy, it was a good read, but The Summer King Bundle stole my heart. Caden and Brighton are just so sweet together, they gave me cavities. It's full of drama, so not a sweet little paranormal fantasy romance, but I loved it.

A Court of Thorns and Roses series by Sarah J. Maas (The whole series except ACOFAS; I still can't get over that one scene, makes my stomach churn)

A Court of Thorns and Roses #1

A Court of Mist and Fury #2

A Court of Wings and Ruin #3

A Court of Frost and Starlight #3.5

A Court of Silver Flames #4

This whole series made me so immersed, I finished the books in 5 days. 5 days when I was hella busy. I was reading like a maniac and only so many books can do that to me. Although Azriel's book didn't come out yet, I'm such a simp, that SJM could literally write the worst book about him and that book would still be on this list.

And last, but not at all least, the person who introduced me to paranormal/fantasy romance books back when I was 14!

J.R. Ward (I'm a sucker for this woman's writing! I own almost all of her books, except 3. But no, it shouldn't be read under 16 😅)

Black Dagger Brotherhood series

Black Dagger Legacy series

Black Dagger Brotherhood Prison Camp series

The Lair of the Wolven series

Fallen Angels series

Though my absolute favourites are—

Lover Eternal (Black Dagger Brotherhood #2)

Lover at Last (Black Dagger Brotherhood 11)

Blood Vow (Black Dagger Legacy #2)

Blood Fury (Black Dagger Legacy #3)

She writes paranormal fantasy romance with male leads that make you swoon. She writes diverse characters, back stories, personalities and her whole writing is brilliant. I know I'm biased, but she is amazing! Each story is about a different couple, but the books are interconnected so they have to be read in a reading order which you can find here.

Well, that would be all for now. My brain is not functioning well. I hope you'll find something you like <3

#Heloise's inbox #heloise reads #heloise the book addict #jr ward #holly black #sarah j maas #christina lauren #jennifer l armentrout #katee robert #acotar #the folk of the air #the cruel prince #black dagger brotherhood #a court of thorns and roses #the unhoneymooners #the wicked trilogy #bookish #books #reading #bookblr #booktok #bookstagram #booktwt

[girlpetrarca]

oscarinthewoods -> heloiseduparaclet

#this is probably just a temporary change but I feel like it's a needed one #I am going to save oscarinthewoods because I'm weirdly attached to it and I've never changed it before #but these last few months I totally fell in love with heloise #I've been reading the epistolary almost religiously and every book I can find on the subject #so yeah #also I gave my medieval latin literature exam yesterday and it went super well so I feel like I'm entitled to the url change #if that makes any sense #personal #oscarinthewoods #heloiseduparaclet

[star-synth]

A compilation of doodles and sketches of these guys. Except it's mostly Jester

Also if the text is hard to read:

TOP LEFT:

Jester: "I wanted to run some experiments on you, but abalon told me no :("

Heloise: "Bro wtf"

BOTTOM LEFT:

Abalon: "Don't mind him, he's a little eccentric"

-Cuts to Jester who just set off a bomb-

#murder drones #murder drones fanart #murder drones oc #murder drones ocs #md oc #there is lore to a couple of the sketches #I need to work on these guys more #the story is so interesting #at least to me anyways

[my-deer-history]

Francis Kinloch in the Müller-Bonstetten letters: Part 2

My translations here, German and French originals below the cut.

[Undated, 1776]

Did you know that Lord Dunmore has imitated the billets d'état of the Americans, and thereby enticed them to provide the loyalists with what they needed from their own supplies? This ruse has left them in terrible confusion. Kinloch envies Colonel Cunningham, who is marching against Charlestown with 2,000 regulars under His Majesty’s standard?

[At the end of Müller’s letter is this addition from Kinloch:]

It is not enough my dear sir, to tell You, que je Vous embrasse de tout mon coeur [that I embrace you with all my heart]; that is but a futile French expression, invented in order to express a nothingness of sentiment in a decent manner; no rather let me say that I wish for nothing more than opportunity of manifesting to You how much, how sincerely I esteem You. 

Pour les manières et les Graces [For politeness and the Graces.]. You will not be astonished at our friend Muller's having made the progress he boasts of, when I inform You, that we have had the courage to read Lord Chesterfield's letters, though swelled to the size of two volumes in quarto, and filled with continual repetitions and inculcations of principles every way different from those that a Man of honour flatters himself has lodged in his bosom. 

We have lived a life this Winter as happy as the warmest imagination could have traced out. We have read a great deal, talk with rapture very frequently of those happy days spent under this humble roof in Your company. 

Good night. I ask Your pardon but I can not refrain from telling from time to time how much I esteem you. 

Kinloch.

[undated, 1776]

I must ask you for advice. You know my destination for the summer. Next winter, either Italy or, without a doubt, Genthod. But considering the future, I see many challenges in seeking a position as a tutor. Parents in England do not know me; would they trust their son to me? And when they ask to see me, would they then trust me, with my young face, without any mentorly traits? What do you think, should I get Kinloch to write to his tutor? Trembley to his friends? or should I leave it to time and chance?

13 April 1776

I feel what the union of two hearts like ours wants to say. I feel no gratitude for everything I have received from you, for Geneva, Genthod, Kinloch, because my gratitude is intertwined in my friendship.

April 1776

I have not often thought and felt so much in such a short time, as in the 4 divine days with my friend. I now know how I must live to properly develop my mind: alone, or with you. The noble American earns all my love, nor am I in debt to the friendship that he has for me, but you stand out above everyone in my heart, because I believe myself to be alone when I am with you.

“Monday”, 1776

Write to me urgently - on which day shall the society meet at Schinznach? Perhaps Lord Clive, Mr Fraser, Kinloch and I will also go. You will understand how urgently I need to know this.

“Early May” 1776

I can barely read anything. I spend 3 hours organising and thinking; the rest of the time I spend collecting. I read Montesquieu and Horaz with Kinloch. So I have about one hour left every day; I then read Heloise, or The Essay On Man, or Tristram Shandy.*

*”Heloise” is probably La nouvelle Heloise, an epistolary novel by Jean-Jacques Rousseau. An Essay on Man is a poem by Alexander Pope. Tristram Shandy is a satirical novel by Lawrence Sterne.

6 July 1776

I read your letters about Italy with Kinloch. They are excellent; if I were not covetous, I would tell you that they deserve to be read by the public.

I do not know if I am wrong; but to my eyes, Winkelmann* is so incomparable, so elevated, so profound, so entirely a man of genius, so genuinely Greek in his feeling, of such energy, in sum so perfectly, in my view, what a writer should be, that I dread to read Sulzer** after him.

*Johann Joachim Winckelmann was an archaeologist and art historian who revolutionised the understanding of classical art; he was also known to be homosexual, even in his own time.

**Johann Georg Sulzer’s Die Theorie der schönen Künste.

16 July 1776

Kinloch is leaving in September, probably towards the end, then I can come to Baleares for a week, or what would be better, if it’s at all possible, to take off for a week and come to the Lac de Joux; we could spend seven heavenly days there. In August, perhaps! I don't know if Kinloch wants to visit his relatives, but if so, I would visit the closest kinsman of my soul.

2 Aug [1776]

I saw, heard and felt Lekain* in the role of Tancrède, and on Tuesday, I will see him play Zamore. Everything that stirs my soul reminds me of B.** I could have cried at the theatre, because cruel fate does not allow me to feel, to sigh, to cry at my friend’s side. Why did I not lie sprawled next to you on the grass with the Aeneid? Our souls, dearest friend, are sweet and gentle; our spirit sympathises wonderfully; our taste is susceptible to the beauties of nature and genius. Every day I become more worthy of you; and so you will love me more than before. Pour the full stream of feelings into your letters. Do not hide anything from me, my dear, and allow me the divine pleasure of rejoicing with B. and feeling sorrow with him. Let me write my reflections, then the whole world will see whether I am worthy of you, and then we will see each other for longer and more often. Write to me, I beg you, as often as possible. Do away with the frustrating error that you never answer my letters. Comfort me, I grieve that Kinloch is leaving in two months. He is the noblest, the most amiable, the most virtuous youth: his faults themselves are amiable and the faults of a noble man.

*Lekain was a French actor, one of Voltaire’s favourites.

**Bonstetten

8 Aug 1776

Lekain in Tancrède entranced me; as Zamore* he disappointed me; the latter feels and speaks with liveliness, has a noble open countenance, is the most amiable and greatest character in all of Voltaire’s work; [...] Aufresne** would have done it better; but I do not want to see Zamore played by anyone other than you or Kinloch.

*Zamore is an Incan prince in Voltaire’s play Alzire, ou Les Américains.

**Aufresne was a Genevan actor.

[Undated, 1776]

Wissen Sie wohl, daß Mylord Dunmore die Billets d'état der Amerikaner nachgeahmt, und hierdurch sie verführt hat, aus ihrem eigenen den Königischen das Nothwendige zu verschaffen? Diese List hat sie in eine entsetzliche Verwirrung gesetzt. Kinloch beneidet den Obrist Cunningham, welcher mit 2000 Königischen unter dem Standart Sr. Majestät gegen Charlestown angezogen ist?

[undated, 1776]

Rathen Sie mir. Gür den Sommer wissen Sie meine Bestimmung; für den Winter, entweder Italien oder ohne Zweifel auch Genthod. Betreffend ferneres; so sehe ich viele Inconvenienzen, um eine Gouverneurstelle zu schreiben. Die Eltern in England kennen mich nicht, werden sie mir ihren Sohn anvertrauen? Und wenn sie mich sehen wollten, würden sie mir ihn alsdann vertrauen, mir mit meiner jungen Miene, mir ohne alle Mentorszüge? Was meinen Sie, soll ich schreiben lassen — den Kinloch an seinen Vormund? Trembley an seine Freunde? oder die Zeit und Zufälle abwarten?

J'ai des conseils à vous demander. Vous savez quelle est ma destination pour cet été. L'hiver prochain, je projette un voyage en Italie, ou un séjour à Genthod; mais il faut penser à l'avenir, et je vois beaucoup d'inconvénients à chercher une place de gouverneur. Personne ne me connaît en Angleterre: quels parents voudraient me confier leur fils? Et quand on demanderait à me voir, obtiendrais-je plus de confiance en montrant une mine si jeune et si peu convenable à un Mentor? Qu'en pensez-vous? Dois-je faire écrire Kinloch à son tuteur, Trembley à ses amis, ou dois-je m'en remettre au temps et aux circonstances?

13 April 1776

Ich fühle, was die Vereinigung zweier Herzen, wie unsre, sagen will. Ich fühle keine Dankbarkeit für alles, was ich von Ihnen habe, für Genf, Genthod, Kinloch, denn meine Dankbarkeit wird von meiner Freundschaft verschlungen.

Mon cher et noble ami! ce qui distingue notre amitié, c'est qu'elle domine sur tous nos autres sentiments. Je ne sens aucune reconnaissance pour tout ce que je vous dois, pour Genève, pour Genthod, pour Kinloch; ma reconnaissance se perd dans ma tendresse pour vous.

April 1776

Ich habe selten in so kurzer Zeit so viel gedacht und gefühlt, als in den göttlichen 4 Tagen mit meinem Freund. Ich weiß nun, wie ich leben müßte, um meinen Geist recht zu entwickeln: allein, oder mit Euch. Der edle Amerikaner verdient alle meine Liebe, auch bleibe ich ihm nichts an der Freundschaft schuldig, die er für mich hat, aber Ihr zeichnet Euch in meinem Herzen vor allen aus, indem ich allein zu seyn glaube, wenn ich mit Euch bin.

“Monday”, 1776

Schreiben Sie mir nächstens, an welchem Tag die Gesellschaft zu Schinznach sich versammle? Vielleicht gehen Lord Clive, Mr. Fraser, Kinloch und ich auch dahin. Sie begreifen, wie nothwendig ich dieses bald wissen muß.

“Early May” 1776

Lesen kann ich fast nichts. 3 Stunden ordne und denke ich; die übrige Zeit sammle ich. Mit Kinloch lese ich Montesquieu und Horaz. So bleibt mir täglich ungefähr eine Stunde; ich lese alsdann Heloise, oder the Essay on man, oder Tristram Shandy.

6 July 1776

Ich habe mit Kinloch Eure Briefe über Italien gelesen. Sie find vortrefflich; wenn ich nicht geizig darauf wäre, so wollte ich Ihnen sagen, sie verdienen vom Publicum gelesen zu werden.

Ich weiß nicht, ob ich Recht habe, aber Winkelmann ist so unvergleichlich, so hoch, so tief, so ganz Mann von Genie, von so griechischem Gefühl, von solcher Energie, so recht wie ein Verfasser nach meinem Sinn seyn soll, daß ich fürchte, Sulzern nach ihm zu lesen. 

J'ai lu avec Kinloch, vos lettres sur l'Italie. Elles sont excellentes, et si je n'en étais avare, je vous dirais qu'elles méritent d'être connues du public.

Je ne sais si je me trompe; mais Winkelmann est à mes yeux si incomparable, si élevé, si profond, si entièrement homme de génie, si vraiment grec et antique dans sa manière de sentir, enfin si parfaitemént, à mon sens, l'écrivain tel qu'il doit être, que je crains de lire Sulzer après lui.

16 July 1776

Kinloch reiset ab im September, vermuthlich gegen das Ende, alsdann kann ich auf eine Woche nach Baleires kommen, oder was besser wäre, wenn es nur möglich ist, sondern Sie sich auf eine Woche ab, und kommen Sie an den Lac de Joux; da könnten wir sieben Göttertage zubringen. Im August, vielleicht! Ich weiß nicht, ob Kinloch seine Verwandten besuchen will, dann besuchte ich den nähesten Verwandten meiner Seele.

2 Aug [1776]

Ich habe gesehen, gehört und gefühlt den Le Kain Tancred vorstellen und am Dienstag stellt er Zamoren vor. Alles, was meine Seele rührt, ruft mich zu B. zurück. In der Comödie hätte ich weinen mögen, daß das harte Schicksal mir nicht erlaubt, neben meinem Freund zu fühlen, zu seufzen, zu weinen. Warum lag ich nicht neben Ihnen hingegossen aufs Gras mit der Aencide? Unsere Seelen, liebster Freund, sind lieblich und sanft; unser Geist sympathisirt wunderbar; unser Geschmack ist für die Schönheiten der Natur und des Genies empfindlich. Täglich werde ich Ihrer würdiger; so lieben Sie mich dann auch mehr, als vormals. So ergießen Sie denn im vollern Strom Empfindungen in Ihre Briefe. Verschweigen Sie mir nichts, mein Lieber, und gestatten Sie mir die Götterlust, mich mit B. zu freuen und mit ihm zu betrüben. Lassen Sie mich meine Betrachtungen schreiben, dann wird alle Welt sehen, ob ich Ihrer würdig bin, und dann werden wir uns länger und öfter sehen. Schreiben Sie mir, ich bitte Sie, so oft als möglich. Legen Sie einen verdrüßlichen Fehler ab; den, daß Sie meine Briefe nie beantworten. Trösten Sie mich, ich traure sehr, daß Kinloch in zwei Monaten abreiset. Er ist der edelste, der freundschaftlichste, der tugendhafteste Jüngling: seine Fehler selbst sind liebenswürdig und die Fehler eines edlen Menschen.

8 Aug 1776

Le Kain im Tankred hat mich entzückt; als Zamore hat er mir mißfallen; der letzere fühlt, spricht mit Lebhaftigkeit, hat eine edle offne Miene, ist der liebenswürdigste und größte Charakter im ganzen Voltaire; [...] Aufresne hätte das vielleicht besser gemacht; ich aber möchte Zamoren von niemand spielen sehen, als von Ihnen oder von Kinloch.

#francis kinloch #johannes von müller #karl viktor von bonstetten #18th century history #queer history #french translation #voltaire

[infatuatedheloise]

wait did I forget to tell you guys this???

we went to a poetry reading on campus together (which is the context for the recent "I got to sit close to him" post and the "on my knees looking up at him" post)

another professor that I've never met came and sat with us, plus one of the department office workers

he introduced me to them and said "this is [heloise]. she's one of the best English students. Top 3." then he turned to me and said "I'm not even thinking of two other students, I just didn't want to embarrass you" and like omggggggggggg introducing me to them like that?!?!?!? insane... like imagine how he talks about me when I'm not there?!?!??!

#professor crush #teacher attachment #teacher crush #he just loves to sing my praises i swear #he compliments me so much anymore #though his compliments are always on how good of a student I am #and not on how pretty i am or anything </3 #but a compliment is a compliment :D

[heyitschartic]

My girlfriend is asleep so I'm reading her fanfics with the same expression as Heloise at the end of Portrait of a Lady on Fire