#helpful vs hurtful

[dan-levy-is-my-life-coach]

“There’s a very fine line between being honest and overstepping and saying things that are not necessarily helpful.”

Dan Levy- IG Live with Emily Hampshire- April 2020

Photo: Slaven Vlasic

+++++

Honesty is crucial, but it’s important to know when and how to address it. Sometimes people just aren’t ready to hear it.

#danlevyismylifecoach #dan levy #honesty #overstepping #helpful #helpful vs hurtful #timing is everything #friendship

[seagreenstardust]

When Katsuki Bakugo needed saving, Izuku came up with a plan where Todoroki, Iida, and Kirishima went rocketing across the sky to reach him.

When Izuku Midoriya needed saving, it was Katsuki, Todoroki, and Iida who went rocketing across the sky to reach him.

Both times, our Twin Stars decided to set their own needs aside and allow the other’s trusted friend to take the lead in bringing them home. Izuku knew Kirishima was the right choice to get Katsuki away from the league quickly and safely, and Katsuki knew Iida was the better man for the job of catching up to Izuku and bringing him back.

Can we please just take a moment to appreciate the parallels. Please.

#bkdk #bakudeku #mha #bnha #I was rewatching Deku vs Class 1A #(easily in my top three favorite eps btw) #(if not the top) #and the parallels slapped me in the face multiple times #Katsuki really is showing how he’s finally pulling even with Izuku emotionally #he’s been beaten over the head with Save to Win for literally the last two seasons of not longer #and his guilt for how he treated Izuku for years has been eating up at him #he has to bring Izuku back to UA and he has to apologize #but he let’s Iida take the spotlight #he recognizes he’s not the right person for what needs to be done so Katsuki helps Iida get there and let’s himself wait for his turn #he’s working as part of a team #he’s putting Deku’s needs first #and he’s determined to apologize for a lifetime of what he acknowledges at last were very bad and hurtful decisions #and we see it in how his rescue of Izuku parallels Izuku’s rescue of him #i can’t with these two I really can’t #twin stars but actually #wonder duo #happy ending when because I literally cannot accept anything else at this point

[nelkcats]

Garden of Souls

There are people who, when they die, do not really want anything else. No reincarnations or second chances. People who did not wish to stay longer than necessary.

When they die, the universe usually grants their wish. And a flower is born in the Ghost King garden. Pariah Dark never paid attention to all the flowers (each one unique in its own way), and left them to die. Although many of them prevailed, a lot of souls were lost.

Danny was different. He loved and cared for each of the flowers. His own sister had become one of them after all. Every day the King went out to the garden and closed his eyes, listening to Jazz's voice speak to him, he watered the flowers and smiled. Danny knew that his sister was no longer in the Realms, that she was resting, but her memories were imprinted on the flower, and her soul had become something beautiful. It was nice to talk to what was left of her.

That is why when John Constantine dared to step on one of the flowers in his garden the King was enraged. The Justice League had reached the Infinite Realms, investigating about it; What at first was a casual conversation turned into a fight as the heroes became fascinated with his garden, one of them daring to pluck one of his beloved flowers while Constantine unceremoniously stepped on another.

Although they had just discovered the dimension, Danny didn't plan to receive them again for a long time. No more help or peace deals, no one messed with his garden, the poor souls must have been terrified.

#dpxdc #ghost king danny #souls transform into flowers and do whatever they want from there #They keep their memories #some of them can communicate #and decide to grant wisdom to the King #Others just gossip or laugh #It's a garden full of life in the middle of a wasteland of death #The League fall in love with the King flowers #They tough it was some decoration #Flash wanted to keep one of them #Constantine didn't care about it #dp x dc #dc x dp #Danny is absolutely mad #they destroyed part of his garden #where the souls of his family rest #They were discussing a deal to help the dimension #Danny agreed until they hurt the garden #now is the Ghost King vs The League because of a silly mistake #no more help or peace #they are banned from the Castle and the death is not on their side ups #dp x dc crossover #dp x dc prompt #Some of the souls can be someone who the JL lost #that's probably the reason they were fascinated

[stiffyck]

I keep thinking about my scar design and how big the difference between him and tcd scar is.

Tcd scar is a scrawny kid who's clothes are way too big for him and who barely has anything to eat and who's covered in old bandages

Vs current scar who has well fitting clothes and has enough food and isn't malnourished and who's not just surviving but living his life and doing what he wanted

#thinking so much about this like tcd scar had such a miserable life #he was just surviving. he barely had food and water and he broke his legs so many times and he got hurt so much #and hed always have to treat his own wounds and get through the pain because he had no other choice #vs now when he gets hurt he can just. ask for help #he can ask somrone for food or water or anything else and they'll be there to help and offer whatever they have #and its fucking me up so much like tcd was so fucking lonely and empty. and now hermitcraft is so full of life and people and friends #WAHHH #stiff talk #gtws #gtws angst #tcd scar

[lgbtlunaverse]

Life as a JGY stan is so hard because sometimes I want to make posts about the ways his very justified paranoia turns against him sometimes, rare moments where I think being more trusting or vulnerable would have helped but he felt like it couldnt, or talk about how his brutal survival instinct intersects with society's existing bigotries in a such a way that most of his violence is actually aimed at people lower on the ladder than him, with people like Jin Guangshan being the exception not the rule. Because he's a fascinating character and these parts of him are interesting!

But when I do that I have to live in perpetual fear of the moment that it escapes its target audience and someone takes it to go "Yeah he's a monster who fucked over everyone and is incapable of love! I wish he was killed earlier and his death was a thousand times more painful 🤪"

I mean, take my last example. Due to existing hierarchies it is, at any point, easier and safer for jgy to harm people less powerful than him instead of more powerful than him, even if the more powerful are the ones threatening his safety in the first place. Even knowing how it harms him and while working against it, Jin Guangyao is not immune to internalizing the mindset of the world he lives in. Even when killing Jin Guangshan- one man- it ends up costing the lives of 20 sex workers. You think I can bring up the sex workers in this fucking fandom? You think that will go over peacefully? The well has been so thoroughly poisoned here it feels like any conversation around morality automatically turns into a courtroom to determine a sentence for this fictional fucking character who's already dead.

#mdzs #meng yao #jin guangyao #complaining and whining about fandom #does fandom even know you can talk about morality in a way that's not adding up good person vs bad person tally points? #i think it's really fucking interesting how jgy is the person who's saved the most common people in the setting with the watchtowers #a politically unpopular move! this was a passion project he made becuase he wanted to help people! #and yet he's not afraid to take advantage of every bit of social capital he painstakingly gains to harm those below him either #i wish! that i could talk about that! #i also haaaate the 'incapable of love' thing on principle #morality is a choice! people don't need to FEEL love or empathy to not harm others #to use it as shorthand for 'evil' is reductive and fucking annoying #people hurt people they love all the time! #fandom does this in a similar way to nmj also. 'oh he can't empathise with other people' NOT THE PROBLEM. HE HAS A VERY DIFFERENT PROBLEM #what characters feel is very important to me from a 'studying blorbo' perspective but not in a debate about whether they're a good person

[dykevanny]

I just needed to draw my fucked up bunnies. For my health<3

#fnaf #my art #vanessa sb #vanessa security breach #vanny #vanny fnaf #glitchtrap #malhare #Killer rabbits #william afton #ughhghghg me when there’s a fucked up father-daughter relationship>>>>>> #Guy who consumes everything he loves and can’t help but hurt vs guy who is so deprived of affection she’ll endure anything for affirmation

[zishuge]

The Spirealm 致命游戏 (2024) | Eps. 8 + 39

#the spirealm #致命游戏 #kaleidoscope of death #ruan nanzhu #lin qiushi #ling jiushi #xia zhiguang #huang junjie #cdrama #cdramasource #kodedit #userhanyi #*gifs:mine #i'm gonna fucking cry #the flippancy of the first answer vs. the care and weight of the second #the framing where both times nanzhu is facing away from lingling when he gives him his answer #nanzhu's look of disappointment in the first vs. wonder and almost reluctance to believe what he just heard in the second #he doesn't even dare to turn around #SOMEBODY HELP ME i am not well #translation notes: the second answer from lingling is “我愿意” which means “i'm willing” or “i'll do it” #notably “我愿意” is also the traditional marriage vow in chinese - the equivalent of the english “i do” at the altar SLDJFSLJFSLDJFLSDJF #anyway xia zhiguang's microexpressions ughhhhhh they hurt me

[alexkablob]

read the sisters of dorley (alyson greaves, 2021-ongoing), a story containing such highlights as:

a satire of the trans healthcare experience in the uk

a meta-commentary on how trans women engage with/reclaim an erotica genre that both helped and hurt us growing up

the full spectrum of the transfem experience (cute & happy vs. absolute horror) juxtaposed together at all times

a bunch of neurotic trans girls in denial about being a cult

the worst opsec you've ever seen saved only by the secret it's protecting being too ludicrous to think of

more codependent transbian relationships than you can shake a stick at

the weirdest sexy chaser lady you've ever met

and a bunch of novelty mugs with really terrible puns

it's an ongoing doorstopper with every content warning under the sun and it makes me feel every human emotion at once

[bonefall]

If Pinestar was the Mi of his kits, why didn’t he try to take any of them with him when he left? Like Brightsky keeping some of her litter. He knew how the clans were, he was specifically leaving to get away from it, why did he choose to leave his children behind?

It wasn't a choice. Brightsky gave birth in the home she bolted to; Pinestar wasn't going to be allowed to take his children unless he snuck out with them.

He wishes he did something, when he sees what became of his son. But he tried to be brave when he left, announcing that he would not be coming back, and where he would be going.

He thought that was the right thing to do. Unfortunately, no one else appreciated it the way he hoped they would.

If he DID though, ThunderClan would not have allowed that. They see it as kidnapping. Being Mi doesn't mean you're allowed to do literally anything you want, especially if you do have a Ba involved.

In cases of handoffs (surrogacy, secret halfclan kits being given to their other parent, etc) it's actually SUPER important you do it before 1 moon, so you can pass the disappearance off as a fading kit. There are no funerals thrown for fading kits besides the Mi and any Ba quietly burying the body, so this is the time where you smuggle the baby out.

So you need all the Ba on board with such a handoff, in addition. Cloudtail is an example of that actually! When Brightheart surrogates, he is fully aware of how many are ACTUALLY faders and who is receiving their child.

Tigerkit was like 3-ish moons when Pinestar hit da bricks, unfortunately there wasn't a way he could take him along... plus it wouldn't quite make sense with how he was having nightmares about murdering his son.

#Tiger remembers his father #Not super well but. He does remember him. #I think it hurts him when he realizes he's doing something for his own kits that come from those warm early memories #Like the lullabies. Pinestar liked to sing for him. He remembers how good it felt to be cuddled into a warm chest #And feel how a song can bloom into a purr #ALSO I am still thinking about the Bright surrogates btw #I just hit a snag because I realized that a big problem in shadow and wind is-- #--the lack of parents to take such kits #Because my rules against incest apply completely equally to adopted kids too #So it wouldn't actually help if they were adopted vs biokits if the tree is still a tumbleweed #Does that make sense? #So the Bright surrogates aren't actually there to help me with the tree. It's that I want to do it for the character reasons #Because it really shows how approachable and connected Bright and Cloud are #And how respected and loved they are even outside their own Clan #But yeah if you've been waiting on that detail that's where Im currently at lmao #But theyre gonna come up in Wind and Shadow eventually #And im thinking about giving those cut thunderclan warriors as grandkids in other clans too #Clan culture #Pinestar’s Crusade

[decarbry]

a frequent visitor

#boku no hero academia fanart #Yabureme Aizawa AU #nomu aizawa #shouta aizawa #principal nezu #this is a response to an anon but it had a second prompt so I didn't want to answer it and then forget about the second one #but ya Nezu is one of the faculty that comes by super often when Yabureme is in Tartarus #there's always been a powerful mutual trust between these two before he was taken and Nezu only wants to help #the first time Yabureme is in Tartarus he is completely unresponsive but Nezu visits him every few days anyway in an effort to get #a response out of him. it doesn't work #but during his second stint in Tartarus he's more lucid and Nezu becomes a huge comfort as Aizawa is rediscovering himself #he's the reason Aizawa eventually relents and agrees to see his class again. he is totally resistant to the idea bc he knows he hurt them #MULTIPLE times. plus he was barely their teacher so he shouldn't be that big of a deal to them right? they knew him for like a week #when Yabuzawa is his own free agent again Nezu helps him bear the weight of his trauma and they bond over shared experiences as experiments #canon Nezu and Aizawa are cute and funny and wholesome bc of the whole cuddle-in-the-scarf thing but it's way deeper than that #Nezu is one of the only ones that Aizawa knew respected him for his abilities as a teacher vs just his useful quirk. Nezu gave him his job #and believed in him so much that he let him do whatever he wanted in pursuit of teaching students who would live longer #and less foolishly. Nezu/Aizawa are friends and value each other a great deal thanks xoxoxo

[bhaalsdeepbat]

Like the way Astarion lights up at the prospect of killing the Githyanki patrol and his excitement when Ethel runs and he's all "now it's a hunt !!"

Heroic Astarion who still fucking FROTHS at the mouth at a good chase because anything worth eating is a little dangerous. He's still sweet and emotionally available, but he also still needs to hunt to eat and that prey drive gnaws at him regardless of if he hunts innocents or bandits. He might as well try to enjoy himself (and he does. Without guilt. Durge is actually quite into it)

#bat rambles #astarion #im sorry i am not ok about this vampire twink #durge who also still has some prey drive instincts bc theyre still made from the body of bhaal #i promise im trying to be normal #bg3 #astarion is durge's princess and durge throws their body across running water for astarion to step on so he dont get hurt #he's still pathetic but he is also a predator #i also like the idea of that being part of the me vs them dynamic he constantly has to work through #cus can you imagine? e #everyone you meet is a propsective meal and he just got out of his “arrangement” where that was part of the deal #he HAS to see himself as better than the cattle and Cazador kinda #reinforces that kind of thinking #but redeemed durge or a good tav helping guide him away from thinking like that #i think hed still have those moments of #awe is the snack trying to fight back #and be intense abt his bloodlust and hunger #but he'd move away from being like GNOMES DONT COUNT AS PEOPLE BUT POULTRY RIGHT

[bericas]

josé olivarez / yves olade (alt. version) / cab calloway / oscar romero

#twedit #sceoedit #tw #sceo #HI TEAM. I FEEL CRAZY #scott mccall #theo raeken #so its the first scene with scott and theo. scott recognizes theo but doesn't instantly trust him. scott is coming off of s4 #he needs people to be good because he knows he can be bad. there has to be redemption because he needs to be redeemed #his own goodness doesn't feel inherent and so believing in the good of others is how he can believe in himself #he worries love is violence. he still can't trust theo on sight. #he trusts him by that scene in 510 where he says his friends have left him and theo says he can get them back for him. #theo is why he has lost his friends. theo has made this happen. theo has made scott love him so he can best hurt him. love is violence #and then the hug which breaks scott open. the skepticism on his face vs the way he clings to theo with his chin pressed into his shoulder #face half hidden in the bulk of theo. the way his chin falls onto theo's shoulders the same way when theo impales him #the way theo nestles closes in both gifs. the way both are acts of violence in different ways. #so we have the doubt and the trust in the first set and the act that finally made scott fully trust theo #and the act that fully destroyed that trust in the middle #in the last pair we have theo back in the position where he needs scott to trust him. scott wants to. the slow rebuild of their trust #bc now theo is vulnerable and scott cannot help himself! he can't. but he still tries. there's only love and violence #and then the scene that shows scott is willing to trust him again. theo at scott's back with claws raised. #theo standing still instead of walking toward or walking away. #scott looks to theo and theo looks away. but he raises his claws for scott. the violence we must do #the end is the real beginning #(also with the yves olade quote that's not the one in the book but it is a version circulating! and it worked for this!! so!!!!)

[mamawasatesttube]

hey guys. new kind of writing-related indecision poll with rimi!

#rimi talks #basically. how much hurt/comfort vs action/badass kon vs Silliness. help me allot it out

[whumpookies]

Whumingo challenge: weight of the world...

Yer gök aşk bölüm 59 Yusuf collapses when it becomes to much to hide..

Third

#whumingo #yer gök aşk #fainting #sick #comfort #hurt #worry #panic #help #99 vs cookie

[dobercorgis]

Kind of obsessed how we got these two panels of dazai in the same chapter

His eyes being full of light despite being told that he’s the most mafia-like person in all of Japan but then losing all that light once he realizes that he has to fall back on his mafia-like thought processes and tendencies. Their eyes also relate to their chance of redemption/their ability to return to the “light,” so it’s like dazai goes from thinking that he can redeem himself with this new life at the ada and helping others to completely revoking that chance at redemption for himself because he allowed the ada to get hurt. He can handle accusations or sentiments about how he belongs in the mafia no problem, but hurting the ada? Clearly not.

#finally out of my drafts since this week’s rewatch covered this chapter #you could see a bit of this in the anime too like dazai had dead eyes for most of the latter half of his screen time #you could draw parallels to dazai and atsushi in that they both want to help ppl #atsushi helping others so that he can live vs dazai helping others to make his life/world ‘more beautiful’ #could go deeper in the last scene since they both fail with atsushi hurting haruno and naomi and dazai making connections abt q too late #bsdrewatch2023 #…? #misu.txt

[creepyscritches]

Ramping up to my first family therapy appointment and I'm feeling like an insane person trying to get thoughts in order like this is hell on earth 🤡

#Creepy chatter #Trying to convince other parties that I don't have issues I can just 'get over' is maddening #'all these fucking things shaped me into who I am + I am desperate for a healthy relationship w myself and you and these forever factors' #vs someone insisting 'I want to deal w these things and move on and not have to talk about them again' #I am ALWAYS going to be affected by several of these things but they don't HAVE to hurt me to be a part of me #Also it really sucks being told you're The Most complicated relationship in someone's life like it's a bad thing :( #But like. Idk. I'm in such a shit phase of 'you're right I wasn't the nicest and I'm sorry for not respecting your feelings' #When mine have quite literally never get acknowledged beyond making me a problem 👁️👁️ #This is why we need therapy!!!! #I don't want a therapist to take my side and I'm not trying to win any kind of argument #I just need a third party to fucking HELP ME