#happy ending when because I literally cannot accept anything else at this point

[comradekatara]

oh ur voltron essay is so incredibly true. it also provides some answers to the bafflement i have been experiencing when looking at zukka tags. like, i was THRILLED when zukka got popular bc i thought it would be freedom from the endless katara ship wars. but people have gotten so incredibly weird. the amount of racist mischaracterization in the tumblr zukka-sphere is out of control. i had accepted that the majority of zukka shippers do not understand the characters at all, and you have now made me realise: not only do they not understand the characters, they see them as. fucking keith and lance. this is horrifying i’m gonna have to sit and contemplate it for a long time

yeah no the katara ship wars are still waging on, people are also just racist about sokka now too. which is awesome. but yeah if not for the fact that i see people compare them to klants all the fucking time (even before zukka got popular, in fact) i would think that im somehow delusional and exaggerating these trends but i know im not because people are constantly admitting it. just saying it out loud. like i used to see people calling sokka and zuko “rivals” a lot and that is clearly a byproduct of klantsification because everyone knows that sokka and azula are rivals. sokka and zuko are simply not rivals in any way except for in the sense that they were trying to kill each other in book 1 i guess. but i’d hardly call that a “rivalry.”

its like. sokka hates zuko and wants him dead and then zuko comes to the western air temple and begs to be let into their group and sokka doesn’t trust him but aang says that he does and sokka knows that aang needs a firebending teacher so that he can defeat the firelord and win the war so sokka is like “okay if that’s what you want, aang” and then he still doesn’t really like or trust zuko at all (at one point he even tells him to go jump into a volcano, which is the TV Y-7 way of getting “kill yourself” through s&p) but he needs information on zuko if he’s going to rectify his mistake and then zuko insists on tagging along for his suicide mission and sokka doesn’t really care whether or not zuko lives or dies so he’s like “yeah fine whatever it’s your funeral” and then zuko demonstrates that he’s actually really earnest and sincere and charmingly awkward and willing to do anything to help sokka and always follows his lead so sokka is like “okay i like this guy now” and then they’re friends and that’s that. at no point does sokka view him as a rival.

as for zuko. zuko doesn’t really care about sokka because he’s hyperfocused on capturing aang and literally nothing else matters and then he decides that he would do anything to help the avatar defeat his father and then sokka kills the indestructible walking wmd of an assassin zuko had previously hired with just his boomerang and then zuko helps sokka infiltrate the boiling rock and proves that he would literally die for him for nothing in return except the reward of seeing him happy. so at no point does zuko consider sokka his rival because he just straight up knows that sokka is better than him in every possible way and he respects that (to an almost unhealthy degree) and just follows his lead unquestioningly. if anything zuko’s rival is also azula, because they were always competing for the same affections. (except azula considers sokka her rival, while zuko considers azula his rival.)

and ppl will frame ZUKO as being out of SOKKA’S league and it’s like. the whole POINT is that sokka is out of zuko’s league and zuko knows it the whole world knows it!!!! they’re not rivals, sokka isn’t a wacky flirty idiot, zuko genuinely terrorized him for months on end, their friendship is built on the intensity of zuko’s devotion genuinely outweighing his previous crimes. anyone who cannot see past the aesthetic similarities between what is a genuinely compelling dynamic between two very well-constructed, dimensional characters and personified shallow tropes written and shipped together in a cynical cash grab should not be engaging with zukka as a ship.

it was so much better in the beforetimes, when no one knew that gay people existed, and everyone who did even remotely ship them was like “awww I love their bromance. #brosforever” because at least then they actually kind of understood what their dynamic was even if they weren’t reading any sort of romantic subtext into it. but I do want to make myself clear. reading romantic subtext into sokka and zuko’s relationship is a genuinely coherent and informed reading of the text. it is not a “headcanon” or a “crackship,” it is a valid interpretation of what is depicted onscreen.

“the boiling rock” is truly the gay subtext episode of atla (and by that I also mean the azula mai ty lee love triangle, which was truly a life changing moment for me as a child) and while there are of course multiple valid readings of characters’ motivations and behaviors as grounded in and informed by the text, especially when it comes to unspoken romantic motivations, i really do think that it’s in no way a stretch to assume that due to factors such as — a) zuko knowing sokka and saying sokka’s name way more than he says any other gaang member’s name b) zuko risking his own life to blindly follow sokka on a suicide mission to an impenetrable supermax when he is literally wanted by the state for high treason, and trusting his lead unconditionally c) zuko just generally being so soft and docile around sokka when he’s normally a tightly wound ball of stress and rage who yells at anyone who so much as looks at him funny, and of course d) zuko literally flirting with sokka in the cooler??? because I don’t know how else to explain that scene that looks like it came straight out of a cheap porno — really do seem to indicate that zuko is down bad for sokka.

and seeing as a) reading zuko as gay is already such a logical way to read his entire character arc and the significance of his journey and b) pretty much everyone they meet is down bad for sokka (assuming they’re not already down bad for katara, that is), it’s really not an incoherent or fantastical ship. like, ymmv on whether sokka actually returns zuko’s feelings (I am mostly a proponent of one-sided zukka, but I also think that I could sort of see them getting together in their late 20s or smth. idk), it’s a genuinely compelling and coherent way to read their dynamic nonetheless. the problem is when people reduce their preexisting, compelling dynamic in service of conforming to narrow and often harmful (eg, racist) troping.

i am genuinely compelled by zuko’s uncharacteristic, almost hero-worship of sokka, his desperation to be his friend to the point of following him to the ends of the earth to prevent him from quite literally killing himself. and i think there’s something really lovely about the way these two teenage boys who have both struggled so much to conform to a harmful and militaristic masculinity could embrace their nerdier and more sensitive qualities (eg, zuko is canonically a theater kid who is apparently “quite the seamstress,” sokka is canonically a poet[ry appreciator] and likes to draw and carve) together.

i love the idea of a postcanon wherein sokka acts as zuko’s senior advisor and basically willingly puppets him and runs the fire nation from the shadows (while also doing the same in the earth kingdom simultaneously, because let’s be real, both zuko and kuei are out of their depths), and how that would also complicate their dynamic. but of course anyone who does subscribe to the “sokka works in the fire palace” hypothetical always makes sokka an “ambassador,” which is just stupid. sokka would not be satisfied merely doing ambassadorial busywork, he is literally an incorrigible control freak and he would be shadow running the fire nation, at zuko’s behest. and so on and so forth.

and yet, all the fanart of them is either wildly out of character, or sokka and zuko’s personalities have literally been reversed, which is somehow even worse. i won’t pinpoint exact examples, but im also pretty sure that if you took my hand and we went into the zukka tag together, i would just be like “nope. no. no. wrong. incorrect. wildly incorrect. egregiously wrong. no. incorrect.” and so on and so forth for every single post.

so yeah. the reason i don’t really discuss their dynamic anymore, despite still finding it compelling in its own right, is because the fans genuinely annoy me so much that they’ve turned me into a hater. it’s not even that it’s a bad ship, or that it’s not my personal cup of tea, or that’s it not grounded enough in canon for my liking. i think they’re fascinating to chew on as presented in the text. but what “fans” have done to “them” has warped whatever potential they actually have in the text into something that is both sinister and obnoxious. those aren’t sokka and zuko anymore. that’s lankka and keiko. and i don’t know those guys. they are total strangers to me. and they’re annoying and shallow and cliched and have i mentioned annoying. and i hate them.

#unhinged yet cogent zukka rant under the cut…….. #unreachedgalaxy #asks #sokka #zuko #sokkaxzuko #synthesis #hot takes #analysis #society if zukka shippers actually cared about the text and weren’t racist and obnoxious and corny and annoying and

[thranduel]

the first time we see will smile in the show is with mike when they’re playing d&d. the first time we see el smile in the show is without mike (she smiles because of benny).

will’s first word to mike was “yes”. el’s first word to mike was “no”.

will was devastated every time he was without mike. el was the happiest she had ever been when she was without mike.

after mike and will’s fight, will looked at a photo with mike in it and started crying because he was so heartbroken. after mike and el broke up, el was with max and they were laughing and looking at photos of other boys in magazines.

will called mike’s name when he was stuck in the upside down. mike immediately found him after searching everywhere and helped him break out of the trance, before checking if he was okay and taking him back to his basement. el called mike’s name when she was stuck in the upside down. mike wasn’t around. she found her own way out and didn’t need him.

will can be his true self with mike without hiding. he even said that mike doesn’t make him feel like a mistake and he makes him feel better for being different. el can’t be her true self with mike and feels like she needs to lie in order to impress him. she also said “you think i’m a monster” and pointed out the way he looked at her at the roller rink when he was angry at her.

will never gave up on mike and stayed by his side even after their argument. he understood when mike was struggling, accepted his genuine apology and even gave him strength and motivation in the van by giving him the painting and confessing his own feelings for him. this made mike feel so much better. he felt confident about himself and so loved because of will (and will is the only person that has ever made him feel this way). el decided to leave mike and go with owens after their argument even though she was warned she might not ever see him again. she believed mike wasn’t being genuine with her, not giving her the love she deserved and left him a note saying “from, el”, giving him a taste of his own medicine (like what max taught her). this made mike feel insecure and unloved (and although this isn’t el’s fault and i completely understand her side, it’s important to remember that mike has been insecure about himself and has felt inferior to her ever since this relationship started. neither of them have felt like equals and they’re not genuinely happy while dating each other. they can’t even communicate properly or resolve their own issues. that’s why they’ve both been insecure and struggling mentally for years and why they constantly lie to each other. they’re trying so hard to convince themselves that they’re happy when they can’t even be themselves with each other and barely know anything about each other).

and people still have the audacity to say that mike and will don’t need each other and don’t work well together? they are literally the two characters in the show that understand each other better than anyone else!! they DO need each other and they can give each other the love they want, it’s literally in the show!!!!! i cannot believe some people want to continue forcing mike and el in a relationship where they can’t even be themselves with each other, while will, an abused and traumatised gay child, would end up suffering alone AGAIN with unrequited love for his best friend? like are you kidding me? that’s the worst outcome for these poor kids. el has been shown to be happy without mike and at this point in her story, it’s obvious she doesn’t need a romantic relationship because it’s clearly not working (and a forced monologue doesn’t change any of that or resolve their issues). will on the other hand is struggling with who he is and needs mike by his side, and mike also needs will because he is the only person that he can be his true self with that can make him feel good about himself.

so how can people say that will can just “move on” when he’s clearly more devastated and affected when he’s without mike, while el on the other hand has been shown to be completely fine without him (even happier in fact)? will has never been okay with leaving mike but el has. people think that will’s love for mike is just some “little crush” when he’s been in love with him since the beginning and it’s always been planned that way. mike has always been will’s safe place. he was his first friend and the first person he ever fell in love with. el may have needed mike at one point, but not as a boyfriend, just as a friend to help her. it’s clear she doesn’t need or care about that type of love anymore and a relationship is the least of her concerns, especially after how she wasn’t getting the love she deserved and mike was forced into saying “i love you” (and then proceeded to lie throughout his monologue… she deserves SO much better than that).

mike and will have always been more compatible and the way mike treats will is different to how he treats everyone else (like come on, he even has a will voice that he only uses with him). they’re childhood best friends with 10+ years of history, proper build up and they actually understand each other and can be themselves with each other. there’s trust, honesty, communication, feeling like equals, safety and comfort, having meaningful heart-to-heart conversations, being genuine and many more things in this relationship that mike and el just simply don’t have. there’s always been a major difference between both of these relationships and it’s been shown since day one.

#the difference is crazy #byler #mike wheeler #will byers

[aknolan]

ok so can you explain how nnd have more buildup then other ships (not a rant)

Is the "not a rant" like, an instruction for me? Because I am very bad at not going off on a rant but the good news is I'm not currently interested in giving the full overview anyways so I'll stick to the main points of their buildup.

This is going backwards a little but looking at volume 9, I mean, it's pretty clear? Penny's death is a big part of Ruby's current breakdown and it's because Penny is so deeply important to Ruby. And when you consider how different parts of the scene with Neo's constructs are framed? When not!Penny starts talking, everything goes quiet. No fighting, no running, just not!Penny talking to Ruby, and Ruby listening. This is where you put the love interest in a scene all about an antagonist using the protagonist's emotional weak spots!

Neo was trying so hard to hit Ruby where it hurts, and all the other attempts include physical violence, but this? This just just emotional. This is what Neo thinks will hit the hardest, and from a meta-perspective it's what the writers think is the most meaningful part.

Going back though, I feel like it's a little bit obvious to tell how important Ruby is to Penny, right? Like, we all know that? First friend, first to treat her like a person, etc. etc.

The other way around, up to v3 there's not that much for how important Penny is to Ruby, really. I'll accept that. There's nothing necessarily distinguishing Ruby's grief over being too late to save Penny from her grief over being too late to save Pyrrha later either. But v7 is when Penny returns, and it's interesting! Really interesting!

This is where Penny starts getting consistently framed as Ruby's love interest. It's like that one post about her return in v7e1, "goddamn anime love interest framed by the fucking moon", if I'm quoting it right. And the v7 intro showing an image of a very happy Penny at the end of the phrase "in time you'll find through love your power just shines" is also some love interest framing. Then of course the election night episode pairs up a couple of characters, Ren and Nora of course, Blake and Yang going dancing, and then... Ruby and Penny hanging out. And of course the repeated important conversations happening, and the thing where Ruby almost fell asleep on Penny's shoulder which is just like, such a ship tease moment.

But v7 isn't that clear about it, so I get if that's not very convincing. I think it's more than any other ship has but the really big stuff gets there in v8.

The volume where they really Cannot Stop Hugging, and where Ruby promises they'll see eachother again soon, and Ruby's silver eyes are (not for the first time!) suddenly able to activate when Penny's in danger, and Ruby holds onto Penny so tightly - so afraid to let go because something is wrong and she can't lose Penny, and they all use the relic of creation to save Penny before they do anything else (and yeah I hate that scene but it's meaningful and I won't deny that it's meaningful), and yeah saving Penny is the theme of the volume because she was the winter maiden but for Ruby it's not about that. She can't lose Penny.

And then she loses Penny and she literally passes out the moment she finds out.

To bring it all back down to something simple, when the antagonist torments the protagonist with someone close to her saying the words "can you imagine what that's like? To be completely and utterly failed, time and again, by someone who meant the world to you?" after which the protagonist is more distraught then we've seen her all volume, in a volume all about how distraught she is all the time? That person meant the world to the protagonist too.

So yeah, I'm inclined to say they've got more buildup than any noncanon ships, you are free to point something out to me if there's a ship with a ton of buildup that I'm somehow missing but like... I'd be shocked.

#rwby #rwby spoilers #ask #anon #nuts and dolts #penny polendina #ruby rose #didn't succeed at not ranting. oh well #though I'd call it rambling because ranting implies being upset about something

[1moremilgram-enjoyer]

Muu T1 Cover - Otome Dissection

More cover connections! This time, we have our favorite queen bee herself, Muu, and her cover, Otome Dissection! Honestly, this is probably my favorite cover so far, Muu's voice is so good for this song! I really recommend you listen to it if you haven't.

That said, what, and I cannot stress this enough, the fuck, is happening in this song?

CW Suicide and death, bullying

Otome Dissection is about a girl in a relationship, who loves her partner and is scared by the idea of them leaving.

Good evening, is now a good time? I didn't really have anything specific I wanted to say, but Now there's this and that, and an "it's alright" comes to mind Without you, none of that matters Both of us with our masks on, we flirted

Sorry for calling you so early I must've woken you up, huh? Are you up to chat right now? I had a dream where you fell in love with somebody else Please tell me it's not true. C'mon, love me please?

(Translation)

Got that? Good, because that's about the only thing I could gather the first time I read the lyrics.

The girl does not feel very happy with her life outside of the relationship, but struggles to communicate their pain to their lover. She really does want them to understand there's a problem, but she ends up framing her issues as only boredom.

It's in pieces, without spelling out "love" It's a penalty shoot-out, Feelings vs. Boredom Yeah, there's a kid there, lost in anything and everything, Shedding tears, meowing "SOS" with their eyes only halfway open This disease, the whole package, I'll send it to you as an attachment I don't wanna go so far as to share all the things that cause me pain I just wanna run away from this love...

(... Okay I'm gonna be honest. Different translations have very different lyrics, to the point where a lot of this might not be applicable to all translations. I hope you understand I'm struggling and accept that I have to pick one and run with it)

As you can see, she wants to share the "disease" with her lover, tell them what she's struggling with, but can't get herself to share all the things she's in pain about. No, I have no idea what the "wanna run away from this love" line means, it sorta contradicts literally the entire rest of the song, so... under the rug it goes!

The "kid meowing SOS" is actually the protagonist, because if you look at the video, while that lyric plays, the girl has a cat tail, and you know, "meowing."

DECO*27 try not to relate your characters to cats challenge level impossible.

The point is that she's dismissing her tears, like "yeah there's a kid there, they're kinda lost in the mess, don't worry about them." It comes off as somewhat nonchalant imo. Again, struggles to share her pain.

Let's play [Otome] Dissection! Calling each other by our real names "I don't wanna live" was what I should've said Will I ever find peace?

(Note: The translation I'm using translates 'otome', but since the title doesn't, I don't want to do it here. Don't ask how my brain works, I don't know myself)

She should say she's suicidal, to get her lover to understand her issues before they go too far, but she can't get herself to do so. And because she's hurting so much, she attempts suicide, and her lover saves her. And she finds that... exciting? She finds it's the only way she can get him to pay attention to her struggles.

Let's play [Otome] Dissection! Don't we all want some excitement to get our hearts pumping? I've wanted to feel shame ever since that night when I realized it's good as long as it hurts

Let's play [Otome] Dissection! Pulling burning passion out of each other Feels stupid already, I can't stand you telling me "no!" Will we ever clear up this misunderstanding? Let's play [Otome] Dissection! Smearing drool on top of the "baguette" Let's see if our climax had been a letdown Ever since that night

It's not immediately obvious from the lyrics, but the video makes it much clearer.

... It makes it a bit clearer.

That's what "Otome Dissection" is. Otome means 'maiden', but with the wording of 'playing Otome Dissection' it may also be a reference to 'otome games', a genre of visual novels which are basically dating sims with girl leads. And I assume you know dissection is a process done on dead things. With that in mind, "playing Otome Dissection" would imply "playing at killing the maiden to date the lover", aka attempting suicide and getting her lover to save her. I know it sounds odd, but that is what's happening. You see her 'dancing with death' in most of the choruses.

The singer claims she does it because it's exciting, that nothing else makes her feel as good as it. Again, I believe it's more so that it feels good to have her lover concern themselves with her safety, but she just doesn't know how to express she wants them to do that without "playing Otome Dissection."

Let's play [Otome] Dissection! Don't we all want some excitement to get our hearts pumping?

Let's play [Otome] Dissection! Smearing drool on top of the "baguette" Let's see if our climax had been a letdown Ever since that night

"Smearing drool on the baguette" is vaguely sexual imagery depicting pleasure, though I'm not sure why we're bringing bread into it. Unless... baguette -> French -> Muu? My job is so unbelievably easy sometimes.

She does understand this isn't exactly good, but she can't help the way she feels when she does it.

I've wanted to feel shame ever since that night when I realized it's good as long as it hurts

(Note this all started in 'that night', when she came to a realization. 'That night' likely refers to the first time she attempted suicide, and thus, it seems she didn't know she'd enjoy it the first time. If you follow, that means she had other reasons for attempting suicide, which heavily implies those other struggles she's not mentioning do in fact exist and I'm not going insane. I clarify because the lyrics are very confusing so I gotta properly explain my interpretation)

Her lover also clearly isn't very happy with it, but she wants him to understand it really does make her feel good.

Let's play [Otome] Dissection! Pulling burning passion out of each other Feels stupid already, I can't stand you telling me "no!" Will we ever clear up this misunderstanding?

But there's a big problem. You might have seen it at the start, the lover starts to grow distant towards the end of the second verse.

I had a dream where you fell in love with somebody else Please tell me it's not true. C'mon, love me please? Two times a day, morning and night, I'll sprinkle spices on you The insanity of wrong assumptions has no effect Listen, you've been pretty cold lately

Uh... "sprinkling spices" probably means "making the relationship more exciting", which as we've established is what she feels she's doing by "playing [Otome] Dissection." The "wrong assumption" is probably that the lover is growing more distant and might even be interested in someone else, but the girl denies the idea, calls it "insane." She's in denial over her relationship breaking down.

Which is why she doesn't notice when the lover drifts away so much, the next time she "plays Otome Dissection", they don't end up saving her. She goes too far, and ends up dying.

Yeah, the song's pretty sad.

This was all already only slightly less complicated than the average Milgram MV, and what's even funnier is that now I have to find a way to connect all this to Muu! How the fuck- Yeah this one'sdifficult.

Okay, so there's two ways I think this can work. The first is what I think is more likely; the "lover" is actually Muu's group of old 'friends', and 'Otome Dissection' is bullying other classmates.

[It's Not my Fault] Sorry, sorry, that must’ve hurt. I didn’t mean to though. You got on my nerves just a teensy tiny bit, that’s all. So let’s say this makes us even.

(Using the fan translation here)

Since that lyric seems to be directed at her bullied classmates in the context of the MV, Muu is claiming she bullies them for small reasons ("you got on my nerves just a teensy tiny bit"), though it's very likely she's hiding the real reasons. As you may know, bullies are generally hiding some of their own insecurities by making fun of others', and considering the way Muu speaks of herself in After Pain, it certainly feels like that may have been the case.

[After Pain] If I was gone, If I had just disappeared I overheard, I found out How much I’m not needed There’s no special meaning, I got the short end of the stick I overheard, I found out How much I’m not needed

Plus there's the fact many people have pointed out that in It's Not my Fault, Muu is still represented in her own mind as a monster. Though everyone else in that mind space thing is also an insect, so maybe she just doesn't really think anyone in her school was all that great. Well, except Rei. The lesbian interpretation grows stronger by the day.

So, the same way Otome Dissection's protagonist was hurting in other ways yet claimed she only attempted suicide because it was exciting (and I guess she just expects us to ignore why she attempted suicide the first time), Muu bullied others to feel better about herself, but claimed she did it for more superficial reasons. In fact, the official translation even claims she did it "because of being bored", the exact same reason Otome Dissection girl gives. Admittedly I'm pulling this more from the cover itself than the base Milgram content, and a very specific reading of the song too, which is not always recommended, but still.

This means the end of the song, with the lover growing more distant and possibly taking interest in someone else, is paralleled in the way Muu's friends abandoned her for Rei. While Otome Dissection girl goes too far and ends up dying without receiving help, Muu bullies the wrong person or something, Rei "turns the hourglass" and she's abandoned to suffer for her actions. Get it? I think it makes some sense.

(I will ignore the fact most of this interpretation comes from It's Not my Fault when this cover was released with After Pain, and there's nothing you can do about it)

The second way to read this is... way less charitable, to both Muu and Otome Dissection girl. Basically, you could argue Otome Dissection girl was only attempting suicide to get pity from her partner, and connect that to Muu's desire to be pitied.

[It's Not my Fault] It’s not my fault after all, after all. Everyone wants me to be innocent. What a relief. Can’t be helped. I’m always meant to be pitied!

In this interpretation, Muu "playing Otome Dissection" doesn't refer to a specific action she does, but rather to the way she used to present herself in Trial 1, when she was trying to get pity from Es/the others. However, that doesn't explain what the ending of the song would imply for Muu. Although you could argue Otome Dissection girl's death isn't really referenced in the lyrics, so it wouldn't apply to Muu, maybe?

Alternatively, you could speculate Muu was getting pity from her old 'friends', and that's what Otome Dissection was for her. That way the ending could still parallel Muu being abandoned for Rei. However, I don't think that works too well, since it's never really implied otherwise that the others hung out with Muu out of pity, and in this case "playing Otome Dissection" didn't directly lead to her "death", unlike the song.

Because of all of that, I personally consider the first interpretation I gave the most accurate. Where Muu "playing Otome Dissection" refers to bullying others to get attention from her 'friends' and to hide her pain, and ends up being abandoned for bullying someone in front of Rei. All interpretations are valid, though!

Well, that took longer than usual. Hope you enjoyed anyways! Take care!

#milgram #muu kusunoki #otome dissection cover

[jack-kellys]

do your absolute worst bestie

there is honestly one way to go about this and im very happy about it. like actually i did my Best.

send me some aus bc u get shit like this!

so naturally, the cruise ship is hell. and each floor of the ship, of course, is a circle of said hell. (whats funny abt this is now i get to send fucking newsies the musical characters to hell what the fuck)

no one remembers how they got there initially. racetrack wakes up in a room without his boyfriend but with his ex-girlfriend spot conlon on a bed across from him. jokingly he thinks this is hell but also. yes it is.

they argue for a straight two hours before they realize that something is not. right abt this. like they weren't a successful pair romantically in the end but they never spoke like that to each other. upon leaving the room the hallway is lined with doors within which other pairs are doing the exact same thing they just were- spot and race can hear other screaming matches through the whole hallway.

they find jack on a floor/circle filled with fear. jack cannot do anything except helplessly give into it every time, terrifying himself and repeatedly losing the one thing racer knows jack holds highest about himself- his pride. (of which probably earned his spot in hell to begin with.)

next floor/circle is the typical cruise ship for-some-reason waterpark. because ross dorrington (splasher @ uk newsies) has given splasher an origin of leaping into the docks' water to save a drowning kid, this is the guilt circle! splasher, tommy boy and gasp! davey?? is here??? why hadnt he been with jack?

(because it was hell to be away from each other.)

it continues down to the engine room which is dark and disorienting and sort of psionically damaging because it's me and this would actually be my second hell/demonic au LMFAO. but something is grating on their brains because they have headed in the wrong direction to get out. they get some answers down here– they have to find the Captain to try and leave. of whom is at the top.

the Captain is Snyder and he's determined personal reasons why they should all be in hell bc he hates these people since they've consistently denied their personal demons tbh when it comes to canon characterization:

jack overcomes his pride by protecting his friends ("vote no") and accepts the mistrust and anger pointed his way rather than getting defensive or denying the deal in the first place

davey overcomes his trepidation in getting involved in something bigger than his family and despite putting himself, his brother, and potentially his family in danger, he refuses to feel guilt for it bc he was doing the right thing

spot overcomes her pride when siding with manhattan after seeing the damage they'd taken without her borough to assist them

race overcomes his fear of striking as well as his mistrust of davey just bc of where davey comes from financially

tommy overcomes his fear and potential greed after being the last one to renounce his scabbing

splasher overcame his own fear also after renouncing his scabbing and also by hurling himself into the water to save someone else or basically die trying!

so we slot the above into modern au contexts and we've got a very angry youth detention center warden who is also spoiler alert the devil. im not sure how they get out though... part of me is like it'd be funny if they just beat him up but i think maybe they gain control of the ship itself and literally and metaphorically change its course. yeah. and then they're brought...back to the living. because idt a hell au means that they're dead, just that they got sent to hell. so they wake up in a hospital after breaking extremely high fevers (its hot as HELL in this fuckin ass, hot ass room im in...)!!

and that is a cruise ship hell au about taking charge of the things that are a part of you and changing the course of their meaning!!! a nautical adventure!!!!

#if shane madej wrote a novel it would be this #newsies #newsies aus #is this how jac felt writing a cohesive golf au...... #racetrack higgins #spot conlon #jack kelly #davey jacobs #splasher newsies #bc i. love him and hes never done anything wrong #tommy boy #bc i love him and hed knock a mf out #newsies uk #uksies #fizz wants to write #fizz answers #fizz freaks #mutuals #I DID IT MF LMAOOOOO

[stickylittlespringleaves]

(tw: very slight mention of gore)

i have been thinking about the crystal palace in notes from underground and the inquisition in the brothers karamazov, and how they are very similar.

they are like classic dostoevskian doubles, mirror-image edifices where commitment to theoretical reason has taken the place of faith, and by doing so has totally destroyed the free will of humankind.

but they do so differently: the crystal palace doesn’t really exist, and instead represents a dystopian philosophic vision of a world where all choices have been plotted out on a table, and the most rational of these calculated and predetermined. and though living by the table will bring about the maximum happiness, the cost of rational, tabular happiness is freedom. the inquisition never truly exists in the novel either, and similarly represents a theocracy which derives its rational basis from the calculation of the happiness of “thousands and tens of thousands” versus the suffering of “millions and hundreds of millions”. and to save that latter group, the inquisition enslaves them; they will not be free, but they can at least be happy for a short time.

one is reason-based false utopia. one is the roman catholic church. in both, free will has been usurped (philosophically or literally) by reason’s calculated preference for happiness.

how do the characters react? the underground man rages, contemptuous and hysterical, and cannot accept the total obeisance of humankind to reason. for him, "the whole human enterprise seems indeed to consist in man's proving to himself every moment that he is a man and not a sprig", even "with his own skin", even "by troglodytism". he has seen the vision of total triumph of reason over freedom, and his human feeling tells him he must reject it, even at violent and self-destructive cost, and in fact only possible through self-destructiveness, because anything else would fall short of truly rejecting 'profit'.

so by the end of it all, he’s definitely not very happy. has he at least asserted his freedom? i don’t know. i’m leaning towards no. if it’s freedom he’s got, it doesn’t seem to be the same variety of freedom that dostoevsky’s jesus chooses.

ivan seems okay. he is not obviously shaken (at first) the way the underground man is. ivan fictionalises his vision and dumps the burden on the grand inquisitor, so that while the grand inquisitor does the fighting with jesus, ivan is able to assume a facade of indifference—”what do I care?”—this heavy and eternal question is nothing more than a silly poem by someone who has never written two lines of poetry, and he’s going to smash the cup when he’s thirty anyway, alyosha, “why are you taking it so seriously?”

and though whether ivan is actually okay is very doubtful, there’s also lise, whose reaction is much closer to the underground man’s. at some point, lise is acquainted with ivan’s vision, and is radically changed by it. the truthfulness and rationality of his universal dictum that "everything is permitted" is so convincing and irrefutable to her that she literally sees the devil in her dreams. but although nihilism tells her she may do anything for her self-interest, she doesn't want to obey nihilism, nor reap its profits. aghast by ivan's vision, but unable to convince herself it isn't true, lise rebels in the crudest, purest way she knows how: she crushes her finger in the door.

like the underground man, she rejects the happiness that has been calculated for her (this time not in a table, but by the grand inquisitor). is she free? i think in TBK’s framing (and this is different from notes’), you can’t really make yourself free or not free. depending on the state of “the other world”, you are or you aren’t, and you believing one way probably doesn’t make a difference. so, because i think TBK’s world seems to be one that admits jesus, i also think lise is free, regardless of what she does or feels.

but anyway, that’s not the point; the thing i find interesting is that she is horrified at the idea of not being free, and she rages against it by denying the happiness that it has been traded for. which as a reaction seems unexpected but also very human somehow.

#crystal palace #the grand inquisitor #the brothers karamazov #notes from underground #fyodor dostoevsky #fedor dostoevskij #idk maybe i am talking out of my ass

[idontlikeem]

re: your thoughts on pride merch. I totally agree that nhl teams signalling acceptance of lgbtq+ folks is better than active bigotry! i too am pretty endeared by teams and players who take the initiative. so i think i understand where you're coming from in the sense that the observation that mainstream brands has co-opted lgbtq symbols & made it marketable, and therefore more normalized, is an incredibly obvious one that barely bears saying. no one is arguing they want the nhl to go back to ignoring lgbtq concerns. you're fighting straw men. what people are rightly criticizing is the disorienting disjuncture between branding and the fact that theres not a single out queer player. that branding is the logical end result of market capitalism. it seems that folks like you constantly want others and specifically a younger generation to acknowledge, and even celebrate, again and again, endlessly, the "progress" made--to the point that we can't even criticize NHL BRANDING of all superficial things without being told of its supposed virtues that we're supposedly ignorant of.

to be more specific, i think you're confusing healthy resistance to & skepticism of this marketing with "purity testing"--a term that is wielded to shut down efforts at rigorous distinction-making and demands for more accountability. i think you'd probably agree that this type of marketing can't be the end of "progress," but to me, posts like yours sound like--"coming from someone who's gone through supposedly 'worse' times, be happy with what you've got." in other words, i think its fair to track the progression of how queerness has been normalized in branding, but to say that this progression should discourage people from criticizing nhl's efforts and that this normalization is necessary for "acceptance" seems really wrong to me. ultimately, marketing and corporations do not engage in any kind of intelligent way with queerness. to suggest that it is only through market capitalism that "normalization" can be achieved is ..a lot. and sort of exactly how capitalism wants you to think. i mean did we move further towards gender equality when "the notorious RBG" was splashed on book covers from hipster stores to urban outfitters? when "we should all be feminists" was printed on shirts in brandy melville? when "black lives matter" became more a global brand than a grassroots movement? i think these comparable--but ofc not exact--trends give a sense of the limits of branding.

man, what did i say?

if what I said is so obvious and pointless to say then why do I keep seeing stuff talking about how empty and pointless all this stuff is? why is every single take all over the Internet about how gross and empty it is? or are you accusing me of making that up whole-cloth? it’s not a strawman if it’s really out there.

don’t come to me and put words in my mouth that I didn’t say. at no point did I say or imply it shouldn’t be criticized or pushed to be better. my post was *very specifically* about people who react in the ways I outlined.

and I’m sorry, are you saying it’s “disjointing” that there’s not an out queer player in the NHL? does that mean someone should feel obligated to come out to make the discordance you see in the messaging more palatable to you? because that is absolutely not it.

more than one thing can be true. you SHOULD realize that things have changed for the better incredibly fast and be appreciative of the work done before you, without deprecating the signs of progress that are all around you in the world that you might take for granted because you haven’t known anything else. progress cannot continue without previous progress. you know that, right? with hindsight everything is imperfect, and there are many things I would change if I could, but even baby steps are steps and they should be recognized, celebrated, and encouraged, because baby steps lead to bigger steps. you can and should also work to keep pushing forward. which is literally what I said.

when capitalism is dead and gone get back to me on how to ethically engage with this stuff in the ideal way you want. in the meantime, I live in a world where capitalism is the rule of law, and we have to work within the systems in which we all exist.

“supposedly ‘worse’ times”. that’s an interesting use of scare quotes. I sure hope you’re not trying to say that in the (very recent) past it wasn’t significantly worse and more unsafe to be any flavor of queer than it is now? because if that’s what your snippy little phrasing there was meant to say, you have a lot of self-educating you need to do.

also, don’t tell me what words and phrases I should and shouldn’t use :)

#if you believe so strongly in this make your own post and put your name on it #also thanks so much for not bothering to respect a boundary I clearly outlined

[xaracosmia]

ꕥ — WELCOME TO EXO COSMIA, SIFFRIN. 🌑

ꕥ  — OOC INFORMATION;

name / alias: Finch age: 27 pronouns: he/they/it ooc contact: catboycharon on twitter or @oxicwrench on tumblr other characters in xc: kokichi ouma, sou hiyori, yomiel

ꕥ  — IC INFORMATION;

name: Siffrin age: mid 20s pronouns: he/they series: In Stars And Time canon point: post game app triggers: self harm, suicide/suicidal ideation, memory Loss/modification, mentions of eye trauma, child death, hallucinations, psychotic breaks/unreality

[WOW BIG IN STARS AND TIME SPOILERS! TURN BACK IF YOU WANT TO PLAY I GUESS?]

personality: 

If asked, Siffrin would describe himself as a laid back, “funnyjokespun” person. He appears easygoing and even a bit jovial, never able to take much seriously beyond a surface level. Relaxed and perceptive, if a bit prone to zoning out or dozing off, Siffrin easily fades into the background until he has a pun to share. Even then he doesn’t actually speak up much, preferring to listen to others talk with only a few comments of his own. It’s easier that way, getting to be present without having to carry the conversation himself. Paired with how he rarely shares his inner workings, personal feelings, or even background, Siffrin can come across as aloof and mysterious. It might not seem like he even cares all that much, generally just going along with whatever’s easiest or immediately funny. That is until he does whatever he can to protect those he cares about. Or says something incredibly concerning. Either or, really. 

On the inside, Siffrin cares more than they can put into words. More than they can say without finding it embarrassing. They like helping others, getting people to smile, both selflessly and selfishly. Both are true in that Siffrin wants to make others happy simply because they deserve it while also wanting to appear better so others will keep them around. They cling desperately to what they love, dig their claws in, try so hard to be useful, wanted, to say the right things. Siffrin cares a little too much. But they can’t say it, because, well. It’s too much. That’s the point, right?

For as much as they say they’re fine, they’re very easily overwhelmed and anxious, always struggling against their emotions and past experiences. Siffrin doesn’t know how to deal with many of their problems, doesn’t know how to verbalize them or feel deserving of help and as a result has gotten very good at running from them entirely. Even if they know what’s wrong they often refuse to think about it, as most times they do they blame themselves and sink into a self deprecating spiral. Whether or not something is even in their control Siffrin is cruel to themselves, barely able to understand that they’re lovable without having to manipulate others into feeling that way. The loops exacerbated it all, Siffrin’s self-destructive tendencies given the ability to run rampant without consequence, both physical and mental. He wasn’t particularly stable even before they started, but it’s only gotten harder and harder to hide since then. There’s no way to understand them without knowing why they’ve grown to be this way. Their forgetful nature is more than meets the eye, Siffrin quite literally cannot help how much they forget when their memory has been punched full of holes. It frustrates them to no end. They can be as perceptive, as clever, as well versed in something as they like and, inevitably, things are lost. 

They’ve never managed to learn how to cope with grief. With mourning. With forgetting. 

With letting go. 

Siffrin isn’t very good at any of it. They don’t want to lose anything else. It’s inevitable, but they try, really! 

It’s fine. He’s better now after having to spill his guts and accept help. For as difficult as it is for him to open up, for as much as he prefers to keep all the ugly, desperate thoughts to himself, Siffrin has seen what it can lead to. So he has to– has to make an effort not to fall into the same habits.

…It’s… Not fine. But maybe it will be, eventually.

something your muse struggles with: Remembering is always a good start. Places, people, events, words, you name it! They struggle to accept loss and cope with grief, clinging desperately to what little they have left. Often fueled even unconsciously by their fear of abandonment, of forgetting. They’re terrible at opening up to others to boot! Wow! And remembering… Did I say that already? These go hand in hand i promise.

your muse’s greatest strength: do puns count..? No? Okay, well. Siffrin cares very intensely and deeply for anyone who gives him the time of day. He’s fiercely devoted and eager to help those in need, strangers or friends alike. Even his puns and bad jokes are to try to cheer others up! 

history / background: 

There isn’t much to say about Siffrin’s history. Not further back, not where they came from. There was more, once, but nobody, not even Siffrin themselves could say. Vaguely they recall having parents? Coming to on a boat with no memory of who they were, where they came from, what language they spoke. It all hurt to think about, whatever wounds left over on their memory would never fully heal either, waiting until something prodded at them as they wandered through life. Siffrin had no home, after all, so they grew up traveling the globe, always a stranger, a visitor as they went from place to place.

Eventually, in adulthood, they revisited the country of Vaugarde where they’d washed ashore in their childhood. Maybe not the best idea they’d discover, as someone known as the King had somehow gotten the power to start freezing the entire country in time. A bit more dangerous than anticipated, but Siffrin was skilled enough to manage themselves and even help a few people along the way. Three of whom claimed to be on a journey to stop the King like some kind of heroes. Mirabelle, a woman being called the “chosen one” by locals, had the power to counter the King’s curse. She and her companions, Isabeau and Odile, asked for Siffrin’s help after they lended a hand (or knife) to defeat a particularly strong monster.

He had nothing better to do, so he agreed to come along.

On their journey to recover the orbs that would get the party into the House the King had taken over, they spotted a child on their own who’d been running from the slowly encroaching curse. Bonnie, who desperately wanted to save their sister who’d been frozen in time, insisted on coming along for the ride, completing their little party.

Siffrin didn’t realize how much he grew to care about them all, how much he loved them, would do anything for them. Not until Bonnie was in harm's way and a monster- Sadness, they were called- struck at them. Nobody was close enough to stop it, but Siffrin was the fastest. He could just get there in time to take the hit for Bonnie. It cost him his eye, but he didn’t regret it. He would do anything to keep his friends safe, no sacrifice would be too great. Injury or not, traveling with them was the happiest he’d ever remembered being.

When they finally gather the orbs and get to the town of Dormont, just by the House the King took over, things change. Not noticeably at first, Siffrin has a nice time taking a nap in the nearby meadow the day before the final confrontation. There’s a tree Isabeau is visiting, the Favor Tree, a place for people to ask for, well, a favor. Or a wish. It’s a nice sentiment, everyone surely is wishing for the King to be defeated so Vaugarde can be saved. Siffrin makes a wish himself, though he doesn’t want to take away from everyone else, so… Something small. Something nice. 

He wishes to continue traveling with Mirabelle and see her get more comfortable expressing herself. He wants to stay with them!

… They all spend the night together, Isabeau promises to tell him something important after they defeat the king. The next morning, the party ventures to the House. They make it not a few rooms in before, while checking a room for traps as is his job, Siffrin misses something. The next moment a rock falls and they’re crushed to death and-

They feel a tug on their stomach. 

And Siffrin wakes back up in the meadow the day before they died. 

After completely failing to act like normal to hide their apparent time traveling, Siffrin hears a voice directing him to visit the Favor Tree again. When he arrives he finds a figure sitting beneath it, a person with a star where their head should be who introduces themselves as Loop. They’re grating, annoying, but they know what’s going on, at least a bit. They give guidance, albeit condescendingly, and help Siffrin navigate the time loop he finds himself in. He has to gather information, to try to get through the House and beat the king, but every time he dies Siffrin loops back in time. It’s not impossible to control, there are different points in which he can return to, but the earliest he can go back to is waking up in that meadow. Sometimes, he finds he has to loop on purpose in order to go back to get something he needs.

It’s scary how easily Siffrin adjusts to it. How easy it is to stop valuing his own wellbeing. 

Loop after loop, Siffrin gets used to the same repeating lines of dialogue, the same script, the same enemies. They get stronger, they learn more, they get to fight the king. He kills them, easily, but they come back. They have unlimited tries, they’re fine, even if it hurts even if they wake up shaking and reeling they’re fine. They can investigate, find counters to every obstacle thrown their way. The King can kill everyone in one attack, Loop supports and offers ideas, Siffrin finds a way to make them real and finds a way for Mirabelle to learn a shield spell every new try. 

Eventually they beat the king. They did it, they won, even if Isabeau is interrupted when he tries to tell them that something he mentioned it’s okay because they won. They can leave. The Head Housemaiden who’d been trapped by the King thanks them all, thanks Siffrin and. Something. Goes. Wrong. She breaks down, cries, apologizes. Something’s breaking, something’s failing, rotting. It smells of burned sugar. 

They feel a tug on their stomach.

And Siffrin wakes back up in the meadow.

…There has to be something else. Something they missed. The loops continue, Siffrin becomes more and more desperate, they try everything they can think of. Helping everybody else with their problems doesn’t work, the power of love doesn’t work, acknowledging their lost history and the country they and the King came from doesn’t work, empathizing with the King and his plight doesn’t work and Bonnie dies for their foolish hopes, nothing works. Either Siffrin dies or makes it to the end and they loop back. They’re so tired. Every loop they pray for rest.

Occasionally, when they fail to stay on script, when they upset Bonnie to the point of lashing out, when they spend the day with Loop instead of going to the House and everyone else dies, when they act selfishly and alienate Isabeau by pushing him to confess (because Siffrin knew what he wanted to say, they need to hear it though it doesn’t count if he doesn’t say it. It doesn’t. It doesn’t. It doesn’t-) they loop back just enough to avoid that horrible new reality.

Their desperate, feverish attempts to find out why they’re looping leads them to a type of magic, Wish Craft. Something that grants wishes, either with a properly done ritual or with enough people, a whole country wishing for the same thing. The Head Housemaiden seemed to have been looking into it, but the next time Siffrin gets to her, she tells them, apologizes. It must be everyone’s fault Siffrin is stuck there, they must have wished wrong and their wish for a savior to come protect Vaugarde must have broken, failed, rotted. Turned into an endless loop with Siffrin stuck at the center. Forever.

They smell burning sugar.

They feel a tug on their stomach.

They wake up in the meadow again.

Siffrin cannot be stuck here forever. There has to be something, anything to save them. They would gladly spend an eternity with their friends but after so many of the same lines, the same scenes, the same script they don’t feel real. Everyone they love feels like an actor, a cardboard cutout, a character instead of the real people. Siffrin cannot be stuck here forever, they need to get out. 

The wish was centered on them, right? Maybe they need to defeat the King by their own hand. Every time it was Mirabelle who landed the final blow, so maybe that’s it? They can’t think of anything else. Siffrin can’t hold it together, they try to push the others harder, lashes out and says horrible, cruel things without meaning to. But they do it, and none of their party, their family wants to be around them. They overhear the four of them discussing going to the House without them, arguing about if they can trust them. 

Siffrin goes to the House alone, cleaves a path through it as the world itself glitches and warps around them, as they see ghosts of themself in the halls, as everything stops making sense. They continue onward, face the King on their own and. Almost manage to defeat him. He stops them in time before they can win, traps them in a nightmare of their own traumas, their fears laid out and impossible to fight on their own. Siffrin longs for what they can never have, consumed by homesickness, by grief, the fact that after what they said their family must hate them. They ruin everything they touch, cannot fight against their memories, their being, everything that was ripped from them. Their home. That everything that made them who they are is gone, forgotten by the Universe itself, and they too will be forgotten, forgotten, forgotten–

He’s pulled from the nightmare by Mirabelle’s powers as the others arrive, having gone in after to help. The four of them take the King down using some new skill Mirabelle learned in his absence that reflects the King’s curse back onto him. Siffrin, weakened after having taken everything on alone and is supported by their family as they all make their way to the Head Housemaiden once more. He can’t understand why,  after all those horrible things he said, why? Something’s different, though, the sky is broken, it looks like the end of the world. Everything is normally painted in greyscale, completely absent of color. Now a huge, bright red crack in the shape of a star pulses in the sky.

  When they reach the end again, where the Head Housemaiden waits for them, that’s it. The end. As every time before, they talk about it being the end. The journey is over. 

  Siffrin doesn’t want it to end. If it ends, everyone leaves. If it ends, everyone goes home. Siffrin does not have a home, they have their family. That’s it.

  Siffrin doesn’t want it to end. Siffrin refuses to let it end. They’re consumed by the magic that allows them to loop through time, overwhelmed by it as they refuse to let their family go again. But they can’t hurt them, they have to direct it somewhere and they hurt themselves and despite looming over them as a massive, astral being Mirabelle still heals them.

  They all don’t understand but he can’t say it. It isn’t the people’s wish keeping him here, it isn’t a broken one. They come to realize it was his all along. 

  His family says: Tell us your wish!

  And he knows the answer. 

  ‘He wants to stay with them!’

  And they love Siffrin, they bring him back to himself, they all agree to keep traveling together and not let their journey be over . They agree to keep in touch, to not let their bonds die even if they aren’t physically together. Even if they’re upset, they still care. They love him.

This is so long i cant write anymore i’m so fucking sorry. Love wins or whatever also includes the loop epilogue he is loved and he loves and his maladies truly are endless but things get better okay i promise okay bye let me know if i need to elaborate on anything ever mwah

powers / abilities: 

CRAFT SKILLS: Magic! Offensive Craft Skills fall under 1 of 3 types: Rock, Paper, and Scissors. Siffrin is Scissors type and, as one might imagine, is weak to Rock type. When 5 of one type is used in a row by the party they can get a Jackpot combo, which deals heavy damage of said type to all enemies while healing the party and reviving any fallen allies. 

Knife to Meet You: Deals scissors damage to one enemy. May lower enemy’s defense. 1 turn cooldown.

Too Cleaver By Half: Deals scissors damage to all enemies. Might lower enemy’s attack. 3 turn cooldown.

Make Up The Time: Makes all allies faster for a few turns. 3 turn cooldown.

Turn It Up: Gives his turn to an ally. Boosts their attack and crit chance. 1 turn cooldown.

Buy One Get One Three: Deals 3 scissors hits to one enemy. High chance of being a critical hit. 2 turn cooldown.

Done Heal: Heals 30% of a ally’s HP and boosts their attack. 2 turn cooldown.

Tear You Apart: Deals big Paper damage to one enemy. Gives two Jackpot points instead of one. 2 turn cooldown.

Rock Bottom: Deals big Rock damage to one enemy. Gives two jackpot points instead of one. 2 turn cooldown.

Regener-ade: For three turns everyone in the party regenerates 10% of HP every turn. 5 turn cooldown.

(Just Attack): Deals massive Scissors damage to all enemies. Doesn’t give a Jackpot point. 3 turn cooldown.

WISH CRAFT: An additional type of craft that requires specific rituals to perform in order to grant a wish. Even if done correctly Wish Craft might not directly make a wish come true, but instead will provide the means for doing so. Warning: may break reality slightly. Don’t worry about it. 

inherent abilities: 

MEMORIES: They will always remember these. Only one may be equipped at a time. Most of them have effects that don’t work here, but… They are quite literally memories. 

Memory of Self: It's a memory of Siffrin! They have, theoretically, so many to choose from! [+5 to all stats.]

Memory of Loops: Round and round it goes. Doesn’t seem like it’ll help much here. [+5 max HP per loops. Currently adds +630 HP.] 

Memory of A Journey: The curtains will close, but the story will go on for a bit longer! [Heals 6% HP every turn.]

Memory of Victory: Boosts all allies' attack at the start of battle. 

Memory of Memories: You remember this, at least. [Can read in their country’s written language.]

Memory of Touch: You had eyes bigger than your stomach. Disgusting, disgusting, disgusting. [-50 to all stats.]

Memory of Fishing: Don’t have to think about anything. [+2 attack for every time you’ve gone fishing, but -20 attack speed. Currently adds +62 attack.]

Memory of Defeat: Still a long way to go. [Get x3 memories of skirmish when defeating normal enemies. Doesn’t matter here.]

Memory of Keys: The castle’s full of keys! [Can get directions to a keys location in the House. Doesn’t matter here.]

Memory of Ghosts: House’s haunted. [No effect.]

Memory of Barrels: You like looking inside barrels. [Randomly find items when interacting with barrels. Doesn’t matter here…?]

Memory of Pillars: Paranoia also starts with a P. [Randomly find items when interacting with pillars. Doesn’t matter here…?]

Memory of Bomb: KABOOM!!! [If looping to the King, will have Bomb in pockets. Doesn’t matter here.]

Memory of Family: You don’t want to leave them behind. [EXP x2 for everyone except Siffrin. Doesn’t matter here.]

Memory of Sadnesses: They’re scared of you. [Sadnesses will flee from you. Doesn’t matter here.]

Memory of KnifeKey: Slice, slice, slice. [If looping to the King, will have the KnifeKey equipped. Doesn’t matter here.]

Aren’t you glad looping doesn’t work here? Aren’t you?? I am!

items / weapons: 

Knife: Siffrin’s trusty dagger. Does the job.

Garden Scissors: Not that easy to wield. Cuts everything. [Boosts attack, lowers attack speed.]

KnifeKey: A blade gifted by the Change God, and sharpened by Siffrin. [Boosts attack when fighting the King. Doesn’t matter here.]

Starry Hat: The fabric lining the inside of the hat is filled with stars. [Boosts defense, attack speed, and crit chance, heals 5% HP every turn.]

Eternal Snacks: A seemingly endless supply of snacks. Somehow fits in their pocket.

starting ability: Knife to Meet You  starting item: Siffrin’s knife

extra: 

Canonically Siffrin is NOT a man, please stick to neutral titles. Saying “dude” and such casually is fine. 

Ace rep btw I’m winning

~5ft or so, not quite canon but he’s the shortest out of the party barring the literal child.

Still has a residual sugary smell about them

Siffrin has all but a few of the souvenirs they can at the end of the game! Functionally they are useless, just little trinkets from home. Includes everything except for the starting silver coin (they have the special epilogue one), reminder note, loving fanmail, bomb components, and bonding earring. They have the fool as their drawn card. 

The haunted look in his eye and autistic swag have bewitched me body and soul

See the wiki doesn’t have all the story information yet so i have to put it ALL myself from memory. Its SO long and i HATE IT but it’s what i gotta do. Lmk if i need to clarify anything at any point.

The thing about time loop jokes is, sure, they may be repetitive, but they never get old

discord id: mal.du.pays passcode: i made artemis assign a cosmia bc i didnt want spoiling BY GOD ILL PLAY THIS GAME

#xc application #mun: finch #exo cosmia

[astramthetaprime]

And then it all went merrily to hell...

Never congratulate yourself.  It always ends in tears.  

So two days -- two days -- after posting that last post from my phone because I was just so goddamned happy to be writing again ... 

I have a day job.  It’s not much of a day job as I work 40 hours a week and yet do not make enough to cover all my bills of a month.  Despite proving this twice to the State of Tennessee, I have been rejected for food stamps twice.  It’s now a daily (er, weekly?) occurrence that I get my paycheck, go to get groceries, then the next week I’m overdrawn and cannot get groceries for the second week because the only things I have spent money on are literally utility bills... So yeah, I’m now going through the house designating stuff to be sold on Ebay.  Geez I thought I left off staring at auction screens the last time I logged off WoW.  I still savor the irony that I was a very successful and wealthy Gnome in WoW and I’m literally a step away from destitution in real life.  I blame not being able to wander through my neighbors’ yards ripping up handfuls of plants to be sold to the highest bidder.  But I digress.  

Anyway.  So Wednesday, I logged on to work.  I work at home, btw.  So, logged on.  Immediately pulled into private chat by my supervisor.  I was told that the company is no longer doing back office work, and the work I’m currently doing is ending.  I am given a choice -- phone work, or my last day is December 9th.  

I did phone work when I first signed on to this outfit.  I was customer service for TurboTax, during tax season.  With a camera aimed at my face.  Involving a very complex system that I had to learn to proficiency in 2 weeks.  While trying to understand and deal with often upset and angry people for eight hours a day.  

When I was moved off that, I made it extremely clear to my supervisor I would not do phone work again.  And to be fair, they honored that by putting me on my current job, essentially doing back office data entry.  At the time I was not as aware as I am now of my various autistic problems, but I knew that I did not need to be on the verge of tears every moment I was logged in to that system.  I can’t keep up with what people are saying, often I cannot understand them over the phone, and having to deal with a computer system that I likely only vaguely understand and for which any mistake could get me fired at any moment, well... 

And to top it all off, no one else in my group has been told this.  So it looks like I’ve been targeted.  Do a job you cannot handle, or be laid off.  And since I would have refused a reasonable job offer, I would not be eligible for unemployment.  

Mind you, for a job that pays so little it doesn’t pay all my bills.  

So I said yes.  Because what choice was I given?  I have such a difficult time getting a job at all that I stay because I may be out of work for months or even years even in this “we’re hiring everybody” job climate.  Because I’m so bad at the socialness of getting a job that I am never hired.  Why did I stay with the Post Office for 23 years, through documented abuse and racism, manipulation and exploitation?  Because I knew I’d never get another decent job.  

And for all the current pro-Union sentiment going around, the American Postal Workers Union never, in all those 23 years, helped me to improve those situations.  They told me to destroy evidence of abuse, they stood by and did absolutely nothing when their own steward was ringleading the abuse in another case, and didn’t bother to show up to adjudicate an arbitration where I could prove hands down I was in the right.  Bless the kids at Starbucks and Amazon and wherever else, I hope you guys can do it better, but unions are useless parasites as far as I’m concerned.  

The point is, I was given no choice but to accept a job that I am not suited for, which will cause me stresses I am not equipped to deal with, for far less than a living wage.  

I’ve started putting in applications again online.  Likely nothing will come of it, and if anything does I won’t make it past the first interview.  But at the very least I stick up for myself a bit more than I used to.  That’s something, isn’t it?  I may not react quickly, but at least these days I react.  Eventually.  

I wish... I wish a lot of things.  I wish I’d had some kind of gumption at some point in my life to learn an actual trade.  I’ve never had any ambition or urge to learn ... oh, you know, programming or truck driving or plumbing or what have you.  I can type.  I type damned fast, to be honest, and very accurately.  I’ve tried to learn various things at various times, I’ve got CompTIA’s A+ and Network+ certifications from 2013 because at the time I was aiming to get a job doing computer tech work.  But it never went anywhere.  It’s like the dots just don’t connect somewhere in my head.  Like the Underpants Gnomes joke, Step 1 Do this thing + ???? = Step 3 Profit!  I never have been able to figure out the ????.  

And now I’m 53 goddamned years old and I keep wondering if it’s possible to get PTSD from repeatedly being manipulated and exploited for the past several decades.  And why do I never have a case against these motherfuckers so I can finally sue somebody into the middle of next week for what they’ve done to me.

So after that little “talk” I went back to work.  Because of course you do.  I have to work.  I can’t afford to take a day off.  I spent the rest of Wednesday crying and nauseous.  And got only four hours of sleep the night after.  

On top of the thing with my idiot cousin the weekend before, I just... I’m just done, ya’know?  

But after work, despite it all, not every night but a couple nights since, I’ve turned on my own machine.  I’ve loaded my notes, fired up my writing music, looked at my character photos, and dreamed of another world.  Until this one is done, I’m stuck here.  Until then it’s not The End.  

#actually autistic #livingwagepls #allaboardtheangstexpress #writing

[snappleapple]

their favorite types of kisses

people in this - dream, georgenotfound, sapnap, wilbur, punz, jschlatt, awesamdude, quackity

headcanon!

the most disgusting fluff i’ve ever written

warning - cursing, i think that’s all but if there is more please do not hesitate to tell me :)

word count - 2k

a/n: okay okay, i might’ve lied earlier about that being my last post but this was short and easy to make which is why i would like to feed my readers this early haha. anyways, enjoy and please disregard the errors in this post, i hate proof reading anything lol. also, i’ve been very indecisive on the title and i might change it later and ooh, my masterlist will be made soon. i’ve just been feeling very unproductive these days. also, please put in requests, i am so bored and dumb therefore there are no ideas in this brain. and if you’d like a part 2, i might add more people for the part 2!anyways, peace!

dream -

i get the feeling that dream’s favorite type of kisses would be cheek kisses

he just likes to watch as you struggle to reach his height

“aw look at those little legs do their thing.”

ends up with you not giving him his kiss

and mans becomes SO pouty

“y/n…come on. don’t be this way.” :(

if you don’t kiss him on the cheek, will also become SO clingy and whiny

“why won’t you KISS ME!”

clenches his fists and stomps away like a teenage girl during puberty

slamming the door to your room

so then you have to go and give him all the kisses he wants

his face is slammed into your pillow

you sit on the side of the bed and pet his hair

leading him to stare up at you with puppy dog eyes

“i will give you all the kisses you want. so stop being so pouty, you big baby.”

will literally leave zero feet of space between you and him

taps his cheek to tell you he wants kisses

when you go on dates, will literally make you stand on your tippy toes to get his kisses

does not bend down at all and actually lifts his head higher to tease you

in other words, clingy but rude hoe

george -

george is a classic romantic

he loves just lip kisses

pecks or lingering ones

he doesn’t care

mans don’t need too many kisses

nor does he need to be too clingy

total opposite of dream and sapnap *ahem clingy ahem*

if he wants a kiss,

he will come over to you and get it

doesn’t get pouty if you’re busy

just waits patiently

doesn’t enjoy it when you interrupt him when he’s streaming so you do your own thing

when you’re watching a movie with him,

he will literally only stare at you with his cute smile

and listen to your every criticism of the movie

he likes to just peck your lips whenever he feels like it

and you’re just not surprised anymore

just likes to stare at your lips whenever you talk

overall, is very sweet but not to an extent with showing affection

sapnap -

omg

sapnap just vibes with neck kisses

it tickles his neck and he loves them

giggles when you pepper kisses along his neck and flushes a deep red

“y/n. stop.” giggles between each word

but when you do, becomes the saddest person in the whole world

“i was joking.” :(

when he’s streaming and he begins to miss you

would leave his room and find you just to get a kiss

just like dream, would get angry if you give him no kisses

“GIVE ME KISSIES!”

very amusing for you

and you love to tease him

“i don’t want to give you kissies.”

continues to stare at you with a large frown until you give in and give him kissies

lsg supremacy but i’ll get into this later hehe

you better give him kisses or you’ll be dealing with a very sad sapnap

sadnap :(

wilbur -

wilbur, wilbur, wilbur

what can i even say

total nose kiss guy

i bet he’ll boop your nose twenty four seven

asks stupid questions just to get your attention

“y/n?”

“yes wilbur?”

“is a hotdog a sandwich?”

“why-“

“boop.”

“did you just say boop while you booped my nose?”

if he’s streaming and you bring him a snack

he will hold your face still and leave kisses on your nose

not too clingy but not too distant

likes to be just right with you

if its snowy outside and your noses get red

makes dumb jokes about he is rudolph and you’re mrs. rudolph

just a lot of smooches from wilby

takes you to a lot of hidden cafes in the city

and while you read, he balances his head on his palm, staring at you in admiration

if you’re insecure about your nose, you legit can’t be around wilbur because he will go on a tangent about how beautiful it is

substantially, soft boy hours all day bro, besides when he gets mad then you leave the hormonal man tf alone

punz -

i don’t see a lot of punz on tumblr so here we go

punz loves hand kisses

not to an extent where he has a hand fetish

god no but just like

when your holding hands, he’ll occasionally pull your hand up to his lips and leave a kiss

lots of hand holding

and i mean lots

constantly gets mad fun of for being a simp but ignores those comments because he genuinely loves you so much

likes it when you play with his hair and messing it up

also likes to compare hand sizes with you

always has a hand on your thigh or your hand in his whenever he is driving somewhere with you

even when you go on dates, always holding hands

no matter how sweaty your hand gets, he will hold on

sometimes if he holds on for too long, you have to tell him to let go

“punz, my hand is super sweaty. lets take a break from the hand holding.”

would flat out decline so you would have to pry your hand out of his

he would also love it when you would kiss his hand

makes him feel all polite and precious LOL

would also wrap his pinky along yours when you walk together

he once came with you to a family gathering for christmas and was so SHY

shy boy held your hand for security while your younger siblings made fun of you

afterwards, when you were under a mistletoe, he kisses you on the lips before kissing you on his favorite part of your body,

your hand

c!jschlatt -

jschlatt is a whole mess

the first time you met, he confessed that he would hate you for as long as you lived because you made fun of his boots

now he says he still strongly dislikes you but you’re more tolerable

doesn’t like it when you make him soft and HATES it when he blushes

“why must you do this to me, mother nature?”

also “hates” it when you even touch him because he “hates” you

when he actually confessed to you that he liked you with his grumpy usual grandpa voice,

you kissed him on his forehead, after he bent down of course

he is an actual giant and threatens to squash you like an ant if he feels the need to

is an absolute monster to you but loves it when you kiss his forehead because it makes him feel secure and loved

likes to watch the wind blow through your hair and mess it up but gives you his hat because he like you being “all pretty and shit”

gets SUPER jealous when you hug children

like for example, when you went over to a family gathering at his house, his cousins came up to hug you

and when you let go of the child, the man child comes and lugs you over his shoulder

gets yelled at by his mom and gives her a sheepish smile before rolling his eyes and throwing you down on the sofa set next to him

his mom doesn’t approve of the way he treats you but you tell her its fine because he’s cute

when you are far from any type of civilization or in the safety and solitude of your own home, he wants kisses on the forehead

pointing up to it and bending down so you could reach it

“y/n, i only love you because of your forehead kisses.”

“you only love me for my kisses?” :(

“mhm.”

actually feels slightly bad

“and because of your personality.”

“thank you-“

“shut up. we don’t talk about this.”

in conclusion, give him his forehead kisses or perish

awesamdude -

sam just adores it when you give him jawline kisses

not because it’s basically the only place you could reach but because it’s a sweet gesture

sam is all about sweetness

i mean have you even seen this man on his stream

he likes to watch you while you have conversations with your friends

not in a creepy way but more like an adoring way

cause man does he love you

i mean not only does he love you but his whole family does

and when you’re alone with sam, you love to bury him underneath all of your love

“i love you sam!”

“no i love you more y/n!”

“NO i LOVE you more!”

“NO i LOVE you MORE!”

“SAM NO. I LOVE YOU MORE!”

“okay thank you sweet pea.”

leaving you a bit confused but happy that he accepts your love

when you cuddle, omg

he never stops peppering kisses all over your face and vice versa because your relationship is disgustingly fluffy

when he lends you one of his sweatshirts, you sure as hell better wear that shit out or else (i am leaving a blank threat here)

sam loves technology but you guys sort of have a system

a system that involves mailing each other love letters rather than texting them

you guys also go on a ton of walks just about anywhere

hand holding is mandatory even though you probably look like a child compared to him

just give sam lots of love and in return, you’ll receive lots of love

quackity -

mans cannot leave you tf alone

likes to do ANYTHING freaky around you

“i will follow you to the ends of the earth, mi amor.” or

“ayy, back off.” if anyone gets too close to you

messes with you twenty four seven and makes it his job to drive you insane

plays horror games at two in the morning for fun

and when he gets scared, hides in the safety of your arms

“mi amor. i’m scared.”

“shut the fuck up and sleep, alex.”

“okay.” shuts up quickly and snuggles deeper into the crook of your neck

loves you so deeply but HATES your cat

“look at that little dumb thing stare at me. you got a problem bro?”

your cat also HATES alex

scratches him all the time and hisses at him

if you think sapnap is babie, wait till you meet alex

“y/n he bit me!”

when you glance down, you don’t even see a scratch

“kiss my boo boo.”

wtf

“what boo boo? there’s nothing there.”

gasps as if you offended him

“this boo boo that your el demonio did to me.”

this man will do anything to get boo boo kisses

istg, you once found him provoking your cat to get some scratches

in alex’s mind, ouchies = kisses from y/n

always has ouchies from god knows where and shows it to you

even though you find it annoying at first, you grow used to it and it sorta becomes your thing with alex

alex is babie and you need to take good care of him :)

#dream #georgenotfound #sapnap #wilbur soot #punz #jschatt #awesamdude #quackity #dreamwastaken x reader #georgenotfound x reader #sapnap x reader #wilbur soot x reader #punz x reader #jschlatt x reader #awesamdude x reader #quackity x reader #dream x reader #george x reader #wilbur x reader #mcyt x reader #mcyt fluff #mcyt headcanons #mcyt au #mcyt

[schneesisterss]

Do you have any head cannons for the other Dimitrescu sisters? I loved your takes on Cassandra!

thank you! <3 and Of Course I have headcannons for the other two. (though not as extensive as the ones I have for Cassandra bc you know... brain rot) BUT HERE:

Daniela:

ADD/ADHD representation

stims include, but not limited to: jumping, hard blinking, leg bouncing, word/phrase/noise repetition, and fidgeting with her clothing

and i’m also CONVINCED she gets the zoomies at random times of the day

Alcina, hearing loud and fast footsteps up and down her hallway at 3am: *sigh* “Daniela! Take it outside!”

followed by a loud THUMP and painful groan (she definitely ran into a wall)

hates loud noises but simultaneously has no volume control

especially when she gets excited

Cassandra has to constantly remind her to lower her voice

“AND THEN I TOOK MY KNIFE AND STABBED THE LYCAN IN THE NECK AND IT WAS SO COOL—”

“Dani, i’m standing right here, why are you yelling?”

she loves play-fighting with her sisters

Cassandra is more willing to entertain her than Bela but the both of them like to see their sister happy. so whenever they recognize Daniela getting antsy they’ll wrestle with her a bit

(Cassandra gets way to into it sometimes and makes Bela be the referee lol. Cass always ends up pinning her younger sister with a proud, competitive smile on her face. Bela let’s Dani win, but we don’t tell her that)

has the keenest senses of the three which makes her the best at stalking/killing pray

and since she can hear the best out of all of them, she unintentionally eves drops on conversations

so Daniela, bless her, has all the tea

tactile learner

will just. touch things

“Life hard, Mothers gown soft”

can get trapped in her own head and doesn’t know how to express to her family what’s bothering her

this can make her very reserved at times and she’ll distance herself for days on end

her mother is really the only person who knows how to get her out of that state. Alcina walks up the long flight of stairs to the highest point of her castle. her youngest daughter likes to come here sometimes when she needs the quiet. “Daniela? Are you up here?”

“Hello, Mother.” Alcina looks up to see her daughter lounging on a banister high up on the ceiling.

“What are you doing up there, my love?” Daniela rubs the fabric of her dress between her fingers. “Cassandra and Bela were arguing again. I don’t like when Cassandra yells.”

Alcina shakes her head. Those two were always going at it. She’ll speak to Bela about it later. “I haven’t seen you in a few days.” Daniela then grabs a fist full of her dress and tugs at it, blinking hard. “Come down for a moment. Talk to me, baby.”

and Daniela simply rolls herself off the banister and into free fall. Alcina, already prepared, catches her with ease and holds her bridal style against her chest. Daniela runs her hands over the sleeve of her mother’s dress.

Alcina gave her youngest child time to gather her thoughts, knowing it sometimes takes longer for her to be able to understand them herself. Daniela finally spoke up: “It’s been very loud recently. Around the castle. Small things, like footsteps or glasses clicking, they sound so loud in my head.” She covers her ears with her hands. “Even now I can still hear Cassandras voice through the castle, it’s pushing in my ears. My head hurts, Mother.”

Alcina gave her daughter a quick squeeze before setting her down. “Follow me baby, I want to show you something.” Daniela followed her Mother through the twists and turns of the castle until they ended up at a door that was just like all the others. It blended in and maybe that’s why Daniela has never noticed it before. “In here.” her mother guided.

Inside was a small library and lounge room. A fire place tucked in the corner and, of course, a wall a wine next to it. Daniela looked at her Mother questioningly.

“Listen.” her mother said, and Daniela did. She heard... nothing. Nothing outside of the quiet cracking of the fire place. “This room is sound proofed. Come here whenever you feel overwhelmed.” She leaned down to stroke her daughters head. “Just don’t tell your sisters I showed you my secret getaway room.” and with a wink, the tall woman exited the room and shut the door behind her.

The next day Daniela was at breakfast like nothing had changed. She didn’t even mind when Cassandra yelled at a maiden for breaking a plate, it only made her laugh.

(if you get overstimulated you KNOW what i’m talking about)

personal space? never heard of her.

loves to cling to Belas arm and Bela let’s her bc she thinks it’s just. so cute.

will also sometimes just crawl into her mothers lap and fall asleep. then Alcinas like: “well.. i guess i’m not moving for three hours”

Daniela: “if I run an jump at Cassandra, she’ll most certainly catch me.” *takes off in a full blown sprint*

Cassandra: “NO IM HOLDING HOT TEA—” *drops tea to catch Daniela* *proceeds to cuss her younger sister out, all while Dani is wrapped around her like a koala*

(this happens a lot. Dani will just... climb on Cassandra. piggy back rides, getting on her shoulders, wrapping her hands around her neck from behind and letting her feet drag on the floor, etc. Cassandra complains adamantly but never once moves to get her off)

Cassandra: “hey Dani, I dare you too—”

Bela: “Mother said Daniela isn’t allowed to accept dares anymore.”

Daniela: “apparently I have ‘no regard for my personal safety.’”

it takes a lot for Daniela to get genuinely angry, but when she does, it’s.... bad.

Very Very Scary when mad

turns into a completely different person that you Do NOT want to fuck with

dangerous and violent

much more dark and sadistic as compared to her normal personality

came home one night covered in blood and laughing hysterically. it scared the shit out of her sisters bc if they would try and get close, she’d slash at them with her weapon.

(this was one of the only times Bela had seen Cassandra genuinely worried and afraid for their sister)

when Alcina came to see what was wrong, Daniela, still laughing madly, swung at her too. Cassandra quickly shot out her arm and grabbed Belas elbow to stop her from getting involved. Bela whipped around with a growl but Cassandras glare and squeezing nails told her to back down. Mother can handle it.

Insane Laugh™️

thinks it’s funny to intimidate the maidens by showing her fangs and snapping her jaw

she often likes to find Bela when she’s reading a book to convince her to read to her (Bela almost always complies)

that’s it for Daniela. just a hyperactive baby with a murder streak <3 ONTO THE FINAL SISTER

Bela:

Mama’s (and I cannot stress this enough) Girl

needs constant reassurance that’s she’s doing a good job and yes this reassurance can ONLY come from her mother

INSOMNIAC

this girl never sleeps, pls baby you need some rest

she spends the time she should be sleeping reading books or running errands for her mother (whether Alcina asked her to or not)

she has read almost every single book in their giant library

Cassandra doesn’t understand this at all

“Why are you always cooped up in here?” Bela glanced up over the pages of her book at her younger sister. “This is the library Cassandra. Take a wild guess.” her voice was completely level and had no inflection. Cassandra gritted her teeth, “You think your so much better than me.” Bela sighed and closed her book. She didn’t want to do this again. “No. I don’t.” she said seriously. Cassandra eyed her for a moment then looked away, Bela saw the guilt on her face before she turned on her heal. “You’re so boring.”

because she reads so much, she is incredibly smart and just knows facts about random things

Daniela, daydreaming: “I wonder why grass is green.”

Bela, immediately: “the pigment that most grasses produce, Chlorophyll, absorbs almost all blue and red light and reflects green light which is why we see green. so I mean, technically grass is every single color EXCEPT for green.

Dani, confused as fuck: ....

Cass: “Bitch, how do you even know that?”

Bela’s sisters just end up using her as Google

“Hey Bela, how far away is the moon?” “238,900 miles.”

“Hey Bela, how many different climates are there?” “Twelve”

“Hey Bela, what’s the worlds deadliest poison?” “Botulinum... why?” “No reason.” “Dani. WHY?”

“Hey Bela, how much can I sell a human skull on the black market for?” Bela, concerned: “Cassandra why would—” “HOW MUCH?” “Well... are all the teeth still in tact?” “...No.” “Than only about $500.” “FUCK.”

“Hey Bela, I have this weird rash on my back and—” “Daniela. Do not finish that sentence. Go ask Mother.”

she is so quiet

and not just because she doesn’t talk very loud or even much at all. she’s just So. Silent. when she moves

just pops up in random places without anyone hearing her approach

even Daniela can’t hear her coming, which is saying something

Cassandra, minding her own business, drinking blood tea: .....

Bela, suddenly right next to her: “Hey I was wondering if— stop screaming, it’s me— have you seen Mothers lipstick? It’s missing.”

refuses any type of help with anything or else she feels like she failed that task

Never asks for help, Never asks for favors, and Never Ever will burden her Mother with any of her problems. Ever.

(Alcina thinks this is ridiculous. her eldest daughter pushes herself too hard.)

Anxiety™️

sometimes when her anxiety becomes too much she shuts down and becomes very indifferent to things around her. this has caused many fights between herself and Cassandra because Cass will get really fired up when all Bela does is respond with a monotone voice and blank stare.

overthinks literally everything and is a perfectionist

this makes her prone to panic attacks :(

when this happens she shuts herself in her room, not wanting to bother her Mother or sisters

Bela closes her bedroom door behind her and stumbles to her knees. she can’t seem to get air into her lungs no matter how hard she tried. she had failed. Mother asked her to bring her the head of that stupid man-thing, but somehow he knew their weakness.

how could he know? are Cassandra and Daniela ok? where are they? where is Mother?

Belas breathing was shallow and short, her chest burns as she presses her forehead into the ground. She claws the skin of her chest raw, leaving angry, red marks behind, desperately trying to open her lungs.

she stays as quiet as she can, only gasping few and far between. she will not be a burden. she should deal with the consequences of her failure. alone.

a sudden knock on her door makes her scramble backwards on her bottom till her back hits the opposite wall. then Belas worst nightmare, her Mothers voice.

“Bela?! Bela, is that you?” Alcinas words were rushes and worried. the door handle jiggled. “Bela, baby the door is locked, please let me in.” Bela covered her mouth and cried silently while her Mother begged to be let in.

the sound of snapping wood had Belas eyes flying open, her Mother had broken down the door. Bela shrunk into herself. She’s going to be so mad. I’m a failure. the ringing in her ears became so intense she couldn’t hear anything else.

large, soft hands cup her cheeks and a muffled voice through the air: “Bela, my love, you’re alright thank god. Are you hurt anywhere? Let me see.”

Bela pushed weakly at her Mothers arms and said between sobs, “I-I’m sorry, M-Mother.”

Alcina looked at her eldest daughter with confusion, she had no physical wounds, but the look on her face was heartbreaking. “What are you sorry for, my love?” this only made Belas breathing spend up even more, her face red from the lack of oxygen. Alcina quickly pulled her in close.

“Now Bela, listen to the sound of my voice,” she said it gently but just hard enough to grab her daughters attention. “I need you to copy my breath. Do it now, love, listen to me. Do what i’m telling you to.” Alcina took exaggerated breaths and noticed that instantly after her command, Bela had tried to follow, but the smaller girls breath was still choppy and small. Alcina rubbed a thumb across Belas cheek. “You’re doing so well baby. Keep going just like that. Good girl.” a smaller hand was placed on her arm and grabbed at her sleeve. “Good baby, use me to ground yourself. Keep breathing now, you’re doing so good.” Alcina kept whispering soft encouragements and praises until her daughters breathing was back to normal and she was laying limp on her chest.

Alcina moved the hair away from Belas face. “What a good girl, you did so well.” Bela squeezed her eyes shut and pushed into her Mother until her face was hidden. “I’m sorry Mother.” came a muffled apology, though her voice was much more steadier than before. “I failed you, I couldn’t stop the man-thing. He shot at the windows! He knows our weakness, Mother. What are we going to do? Where’s Daniela and Cassandra, are they ok? I should have stopped him for you I’m so sorry I—”

“Quiet.” Bela immediately seals her lips and looks away, already extracting herself from her Mother’s arms. She probably hates her. Alcina simple tugs her back and forces Bela to look in her eyes with a quick tap to the forehead. “Bela, I need you to listen to me very carefully.” Her daughters eyes go wide and she nods. “You have nothing to apologize for. This is not you’re fault and I will not allow you to think that way. Plus, the man-thing won’t bother us any longer, I took care of it.”

“But—” Alcina raises an eyebrow and Bela gives in, nodding hesitantly. “Good girl.” Bela exhales through her nose at the phrase and squeezes her Mother’s sleeve again. They sit like that for a few more moments, calming down.

Bela suddenly shoots up. “Daniela, Cassandra, are they—” “They’re fine my dear, Daniela got a little banged up, but Cassandra was already patching her up before I could even get close. We didn’t know where you were, that’s why I was so worried.” Bela relaxed and again nuzzled her nose into her Mother’s chest, took one more deep breath, then stood. “I’m going to go check on them.”

She steps through the now empty door frame and pauses. She spoke without turning around: “I won’t fail you again, Mother.” and shifts into a cloud of flies and disappears.

(am I projecting again? idk help)

can play the piano

no like you don’t understand, she is so good at piano

this girl has mastered songs by composers like Liszt, Beethoven, and Ravel

she’ll play for hours on end, if she starts a new piece she Will Not get up until she can play it through perfectly

she pretends not to notice Cassandra secretly listening to her play, hidden behind a nearby bookshelf

while her younger sisters always jump head first into a fight, Bela takes a more calculating approach. learning her enemies movements from afar before advancing and ending it in like 3 quick moves.

“Well Bela, if Mother asked you to jump off a bridge, would you?”

Bela, already climbing over the railing: “Hm?”

and there you go for Bela! my sweet child.. please learn self-care.

*ahem* I went overboard again didn’t I? WELP. I regret nothing. Give me more headcannons.

#no seriously i’m having so much fun with this #resident evil #RE8 #resident evil 8 #resident evil 8: village #re8:v #resident evil headcanons #resident evil village #cassandra dimitrescu #bela dimitrescu #daniela dimitrescu #alcina dimitrescu #lady dimitrescu #cassandra dimitrescu headcannon #bela dimitrescu headcannon #daniela dimitrescu headcannon #alcina dimitrescu headcannon #mine #dimitrescu family #dimitrescu daughters

[heyhihellowhatsup0]

Hooked On Your Feelings - Chapter One (FWB! Tom Holland x Reader)

Prologue

Warnings: Some angst, language, eventual smut in future chapters, fluff

Word Count: 4155

Summary: After a bad breakup, making an agreement with your womanizing neighbor, Tom to be friends with added benefits and no strings attached seemed like the perfect idea. Until things become messy, emotions caused your agreement to crumble.

A/N:   I have been dying to post more so the day is finally here! I am so happy everyone has given my such amazing and sweet feedback! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. Needless to say, this chapter does have smut! DM me to be tagged and I cannot wait to hear everyone’s thoughts! (Also .gif is not mine. DM me for credit please, I found on google!) Thank you xx -N

You woke up the next morning with your head pounding while the sun hit your eyes as you opened them. Turning on your back you let out a sigh once you realized where you were. The same bed you figured you would be in even though you were hoping it was all a dream and what had happened didn’t actually take place. 

Remaining underneath Tom’s dark and satin sheets since you knew you had nothing on, you pivoted your head upward and saw his eyes opened and staring up at the ceiling. Clearly, neither one of you had any idea how to address what the hell happened between the two of you last night and you certainly weren’t going to be the one to initiate.

Tom licked his lips as he adjusted himself from under the covers. Did he really just sleep with you? Sure, he thought about having that moment with you. Countless times, actually. It was no secret you were breathtakingly beautiful and he always had that fantasy about you. But you were always dating that idiot for whatever reason and Tom always thought you were never into him in that way.

None of it was planned, of course. It just happened. One minute, you were both drinking and just simply there next to each other. The next, Tom and you were stumbling into his bedroom. Laughing in between kisses as you removed one another’s clothes and experiencing what was probably some of the best sex he’d ever had. His entire body was vibrating still from how he had felt and he never in a million years would have even thought you were the least bit interested in him like that. Then again, you were both clearly going through some really weird stuff last night.

You were both vulnerable and feeling things you didn’t want to admit to other people but for some reason, Tom was alright with admitting it to you and you both found a way to get rid of the feeling, even if it was temporary. He didn’t want you to regret it, because he sure as hell didn’t. He certainly wasn’t expecting any of that with you but it was a hell of a night and he was far from complaining about it. He was just worried you regretted it.

A lot could be said in your silence with Tom as you lay there, the both of you now staring up at the ceiling and neither of you were speaking. You couldn’t help but feel a little awkward while you tried to figure out what to say. Do you just thank him for the night and leave? Should you just say you had work and grab your clothes or just maybe not say anything at all? The silence was killing you for a variety of reasons and you were still trying to rack your brain trying to figure out why you initiated the first kiss to begin with. You weren’t drunk at all but for some reason you just wanted it. You wanted him. And in that moment last night, you were glad he wanted you too.

Tom cleared his throat, the stillness between you both was causing a rise in his anxiousness, “Well...we had sex last night,” he stated the obvious as plainly as possible. Maybe he should have just kept his mouth shut.

“Yeah,” you answered in an obvious tone. You held back from your laughter as you pushed your hair out of your face, “I should probably go,” you told him as you tried to cover yourself up with the sheets even though you already knew Tom saw you naked last night. There were no more secrets between you both. Clearly.

Tom sat up from the bed and began looking for his sweatpants to throw on before he started to help you find your clothes across the bedroom floor. He handed you your t-shirt as he politely turned away while you changed, “Do you want coffee or something?” he offered, something he would never offer another girl who stayed the night.

Offering any girl any type of breakfast or anything of the sort automatically made them believe Tom wanted them to stay longer. To go out on a date or to get a phone call from him later. Commitment. So he always avoided it and usually had you kick them out if they couldn’t get the hint. But obviously you were different being that you were a friend who he just so happened to sleep with. He was grateful you were there with him and he’d never dismiss you as quickly. He cared about you in the same ways you cared about him. Neighborly love. Who he happened to be attracted to and vice versa.

“Nah, I’m okay. I have some back at my place,” you answered casually as you grabbed your leggings as Tom handed you one of your shoes, “Thanks,” you said to him with a small smile as you tried not to act like you were rushing out of there.

You tried to make yourself presentable as Tom began to walk you out of the bedroom, unsure if he should thank you for the night or not. You turned to him with a sarcastic smile and pointed towards your messy waves, “Wow, I guess this officially makes me a notch on your belt, huh?” you tried to joke to make it less weird between you two.

“For the record, you are not a notch or anything like that, Y/N,” Tom said sternly to make sure you knew that last night was actually a night he didn’t regret at all, “I uh...actually had a pretty good time,” he felt his cheeks tinge a hint of pink as he admitted that to you. Another thing he knew to never say to a girl he brought home. Ever.

Making a face at him, you breathed out a small laugh while you nodded your head in agreement, “Yeah, I did too,” you told him honestly.

The two of you just stood in the kitchen by Tom’s door for a minute. Waiting for the other person to say something but neither of you did. You rocked back and forth on your heels as Tom slid his hands into his pockets, “This isn't weird, is it?” you questioned in a light tone.

“What? No!?” Tom chuckled nervously. He crossed his arms in front of his chest in an attempt to be nonchalant while the elephant of the deed you two had done remained between you both, “Wh-why-why would it be weird?” he stammered.

Leaning in a bit closer towards him, you narrowed your eyes in on Tom, “We had sex,” you whispered as if somebody else was in the room and could overhear your entire conversation.

Tom copied your motion and leaned in in the exact same way, “I don’t think it’s a secret now,” he teased you with a playful smirk, making you laugh as he pulled away. He gave you a nudge against your shoulder, “It’s only weird if we make it weird, right?” he reminded himself.

Lots of friends sleep together and continue to be friends. This was nothing out of the ordinary. Besides, you were more neighborly than friends. So it was a completely different situation than what typical friends had dealt with in the past. Tom was right, you reminded yourself.

“No weirdness on my end,” you told him with a smile as you held out your palm as if you were swearing in a courtroom, “Promise,” you added with a playful wink.

Tom smiled back, leaning forward to get the door for you but you accidentally mistook his gesture for a hug and wrapped your arm around his neck. You cussed under your breath at your embarrassingly stupid moment while you apologized profusely to Tom as he tried to save the awkwardness by giving you a half-assed hug in return. You tried to hide the wincing your eyes were making from the hug but you knew he noticed. Of course he noticed.

Looking down at the floor because you were now too embarrassed to look in his direction, you said your goodbyes as Tom promised to swing by this week with his usual pizza while you began walking faster towards your apartment. But you didn’t want Tom to think you were that flustered by your interactions that you quite literally ran away to hide out. 

You finally got inside your door and realized everything remained untouched since you had kicked Justin out last night. The bottle of wine was still open and sitting on the counter, the television was still on in the living room and there were still a bunch of clothes he had left behind that you needed to desperately get rid of.

Everything in your apartment remained frozen in time while you felt like you jumped lightyears ahead of it from your one night spent with Tom. It was a strange feeling as you walked over to turn the television off but you didn’t feel angry like you had felt last night. You weren’t exactly over the events that took place with Justin but you were on the path to accepting it and you weren’t sure if Tom had something to do with it or not.

There was no denying that you were still hurting from everything. It was still a fresh wound and you had felt so betrayed from it all, you weren’t sure how you would bounce back from it or if you even would. You never dealt with a breakup as ugly as this one so it was a new feeling for you that you were still trying to wrap your head around.

And even though when you were with Tom for the brief time that you were, it felt like it was almost exactly what you needed last night. You didn’t hold back from him and you were comfortable enough around Tom telling him exactly what you needed. Letting your frustrations and anger out on him and Tom letting his feelings out on you led to an explosion between the two of you that surprisingly left you possibly wanting more.

Wanting more from Tom.

Changing into a fresh outfit from last night, you continued to replay the night over and over again in your mind. It was unexpected to say the least, but not in a bad way. Not by any means. If you thought it was bad or awkward, you probably wouldn’t be standing in front of your closet still thinking about the things Tom made you feel.

He made you forget about the drama, if even for one night. But he still managed to make you think that you didn’t need Justin anymore. Maybe you didn’t need anyone right now other than a simple fix here and there to make you feel good. Maybe something without any strings attached was what you needed right now in order to move on and numb your pain for a bit.

You knew Tom was dealing with his own commitment issues and neither one of you were looking for anything complicated. It may not be the best idea in the world to be thinking about something like this but clearly neither one of you knew how to be alone at the moment. You didn’t really want to be fully alone anyway, and you were both comfortable enough with each other where you could be honest about this stuff. Maybe Tom was right, there shouldn’t be any weirdness between you.

Maybe some great sex and not an ounce of attachment was the elixir to the chaos Justin caused for you. No formalities. No planned out, stuffy dates. No mingling with friends and their significant others. No justin. And certainly no types of feelings that would get you in a mess you clearly weren’t looking for right now.

Just good fucking sex. And...it didn’t hurt that your neighbor might be looking for the same type of thing that you were. At least you had hoped.

And when the thoughts and memories and god, downright blissful remembrances of his touch kept invading your mind, just standing there in your apartment thinking about it wasn’t enough. The anxiousness vibrated through your body and you knew what you might be needing from down the hall.

You pulled on a new t-shirt before grabbing your keys. You had never done anything like this before, what if Tom said no? Maybe it should just remain a one time thing between the two of you. Your nerves were attacking you relentlessly as you locked your door, slipping your key ring around your finger and securing it tightly.

But if Tom could do things like this, what was stopping you? The pure rush of anxiety and adrenaline...but it was stupidly guiding you right back to his door. This was insane. Completely stupid. He’d never agree to this. 

Your mind was telling you to turn around and go back home. But that side of you that you never let come out was saying ‘fuck it. Have some fun for once. You’ve been through enough heartbreak and this is something for you.

The safe way got you hurt. More than once. And as you lifted your hand to tap your knuckles against the door, you knew you were done playing it smart. 

Barely getting through the first knock, the door swung open. You let out a yelp as you practically hit Tom in the face while he almost walked right into you. The two of you running into each other as your bodies slightly crashed into one another.

“Oh shit!” Tom exclaimed as he pulled back with an awkward laugh. He ran a hand through his still messy curls, “I was actually on my way to see you,” he admitted, pressing his lips together as he looked at you in the doorframe.  

You reached up and crashed your lips against Tom’s without warning, “Let’s make a deal,” you told him through your hungry kiss as you began to feel Tom start to kiss you back. He moaned into you as he captured your top lip in between his.

“W-what?” Tom mumbled against your lips once again, bringing you inside of his place as he kicked the door shut. He was surprised this was happening so suddenly. Especially since he was just about to be on his way over to your place to ask you for just about the same thing. He knew it didn’t feel right when you left this morning and it was because he wanted to feel this way again. With you. 

“I can still help with your horrible conquests but...in the meantime, we make up for our shit love lives with damn good sex,” you explained while catching your breath from your last kiss. You stood in the living room with Tom’s hands resting on your hips with lust for you in his eyes. 

He pulled back from his embrace with a quirked brow, “You’re serious,” he noted as he smirked at you. He was honestly surprised considering he never saw this side to you. You were always with the same guy for as long as you lived here. It was strange and new to him to see you wanting something that he did.

“No strings attached, of course,” you added. The words sounded ridiculous but you ignored that thought. 

“I...christ, Y/N. I can’t say I haven’t thought about having endless mindblowing sex with you,” he said as his eyes rolled over you. 

“Mindblowing?” you chuckled, “Someone’s cocky,” you teased. 

“Rude. But back to the point...are you sure about this?” Tom got serious. His focus on you as he stepped back to give you some space. He didn’t want to be overbearing or act like he was trying to just get you back in bed. Even though that was basically what he was doing regardless of the situation.

The bottom line was, he had an amazing time with you. And unlike the random girls he brought home, you knew him. There was an understanding between you and him that he knew you got. And he could be open with you by saying he didn’t want anything serious. He wouldn’t need to find a way to get rid of you in the morning. He could distract himself from the nonsense he would think about while ravishing you in the process. It was the perfect idea.

You took a moment. Wondering again if you were just crazy to suggest this. But the way his brown eyes were studying you, it just felt right. 

“I’m sure if you are,” you finally answered. 

Tom was silent but it didn’t take him long to make his mind up. Taking a few steps forward, he picked you up in one swift motion and brought you over towards the couch where you straddled his hips before going in for another kiss. His hand was already slipping underneath your shirt and up your back as he helped you remove it along with his, tossing it towards the empty side of the couch you weren’t using.

Helping you out of your leggings, you found your way back towards Tom’s lap and grinded your hips against him in between your kisses. The cravings you both shared for one another grew wilder as you continued, “We’re really doing this?” you muttered against his lips with another gasp as you helped release him out of his already bulging boxers.

“Think so,” Tom laughed against your skin, trailing his lips down to your neck as he pushed your hair to one side, “Unless you want to stop?” he pulled back for a minute, not wanting to overstep if you were having second thoughts.

Biting your bottom lip, your hand went down to Tom’s hardened length and ran along it. Rubbing the pre-cum seeping from his tip as you watched Tom throw his head back against the couch with a low moan, “Does it look like I want to stop?” you asked him with a playful grin.

“Fuck, Y/N…” Tom hissed as his hands gripped your sides to release some of his frustration. He breathed out a laugh as his fingers went to your clit, beginning to circle you slowly, “Let me give you what you came here for. Hm, darling?” his voice grew raspy as he looked you in the eye, his pupils black the longer he waited.

Your eyes went down towards Tom’s waist, gasping as you watched him begin to tease your entrance with his tip. Cussing under your breath, you grabbed onto his shoulders tightly as you braced yourself for his impact. Tom pressed his hand against the small of your back as he waited for you to let him know it was okay. You nodded your head silently as you gave him an amorous look, “I want you, Tom,” you whispered lowly.

That was all it took before Tom guided himself into you. Going slow as he took his time to let you get used to him while you clenched around him. You lowered yourself deeper as he filled your core up entirely while you began to roll your hips against his slowly, letting out a moan as Tom hissed against your ear while twitching inside of you.

“Mmm, Y/N,” Tom breathed out a moan as he matched his thrusts with yours. His lips parted, moaning against your neck while he pressed open, sloppy kisses against your skin as he continued to rub your clit with his opposite hand, “You feel so fucking wet,” he praised you breathlessly.

“Keep touching me, Tom,” you cried out to him while you started to ride him faster. Even though you and Tom had just started these escapades, you certainly felt comfortable enough to tell him exactly what you wanted to make you feel good. Pressing the pad of his thumb against your swollen bud, your eyes clenched shut while you pushed yourself deeper into him, “Shit! Yes, right there,” you reassured him with another moan.

Guiding you down on his cock, Tom felt his entire body tense as soon as his lips met yours once again. His breaths getting heavy like yours as your name fell from his lips while he watched you bounce up and down on him, making him feel absolutely incredible as you continued to moan in his ear.

You felt your body beginning to tense as you kept going. Everything inside of you was aching for a release and Tom was giving it to you without a doubt. Rocking your hips into him more, you knew you were getting closer to your edge and you could feel Tom about to release as well.

Opening your eyes, you cupped Tom’s face with your palms and gave him one last fiery kiss. Your tongues finding each other wildly and tangled up before you both finally reached your highs together as you whimpered Tom’s name while you finally let go for him.

Tom cussed as he unraveled from beneath you. His body writhing while he watched you bury your face into the crook of his neck, muffling the sound of your moans against him. The vibrations from your sounds set him off further while he continued to reach his bliss, still thrusting into you while you rode out your tremor together.

“Holy….” Tom trailed off with a heavy breath, finally slowing down while his back hit the couch as he tried to pull himself together. He saw you pull your face away from his body, giving him the same exact look that he knew he had on his face, “Umm...yeah, holy fuck?” he laughed.

“That just about covers it,” you agreed as you kissed his cheek with a smile. You pushed Tom’s now damp and sweaty curls out of his face to capture his lips while you brought him closer to you, “So we have a deal?” you confirmed as Tom kissed you back.

Tom chuckled as his hands fell to your sides, his thumb creating small circles against you while he pursed his lips, “You’re really serious about this? No strings? No titles? Just like...just sex?” he clarified, still trying to wrap his head around you asking for this. It felt like a godsend and that it was too good to be true. Why couldn’t more girls be like you?

Tucking a loose strand of your hair behind your ear, Tom’s eyes went from your eyes, to your lips, and back as he sat there admiring you looking this way. You looked so effortlessly beautiful to him and even just as a friend, he was lucky to have you in his life. But now that he had you in other ways, you felt almost intoxicating to him. He couldn’t understand why that piece of garbage cheated on you. Tom had done some shady things to girls in the past and he didn’t see himself in ways others might but he knew he would have never done what that guy did.

You nodded as you turned your head to the side, “Do we have a deal, Tom?” you asked again, raising your eyebrow at him.

“Justin really did a number on you, huh?” Tom teased with a chuckle.

“We’re not talking about him,” you shushed Tom. Pressing your palm against his chest, you gave him a stern expression, “No talk about exes or...your conquests. We do this,” you gestured towards you straddling his legs before looking back at him, “Whenever we...feel like it. I guess,” even you weren’t sure of the rules but you figured you could make them your own anyway.

There was a pause as you quickly felt like you should add more, “We’re friends. Nothing more, nothing less,” you told him, wanting to be clear of at least one title throughout this whole pact the two of you were about to agree to, “Friends who...happen to jump each other’s bones?” you stated despite it sounding like a question.

Tom chuckled at your timid expression. His hands still at your sides as he leaned up and captured your lips again. “Deal.”

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#tom holland #tom holland x you #tom holland x reader #tom holland smut #tom holland x y/n #heyhihellowhatsup0 #HOYF

[blueprint-han]

[Image ID: A black picture with the title “HOW TO SUPPORT FANFICTION AUTHORS” written in bold caps lock, colored with a winter forest picture. End ID.]

Well, this post has been made countless times, but I’m making one too because I’ve seen a lot of people say they’re new to tumblr and don’t know the whole “reblogging is better than liking” rule and other stuff. So without any further ado, here are ways YOU can support the fanfiction authors. Now keep in mind this applies to almost every author out there, not just the stayblr fandom, so if you’re a silent reader (or even if you aren’t), I advise you go through this post. Warning, this is a fairly long post going into detail, so yeah. I still expect you, the readers to read this, and if you’re a writer, feel free to lmk if i’ve written smth wrong or if you want me to add something! ^^

In this post I’ll go into thorough analysis of the pros and cons of each of the methods listed here and how YOU as a reader can show the authors whose fics you read more love and motivate them to produce content.

WARNING; LONG POST! GOES INTO A DECENT AMOUNT OF DETAIL. NOT EDITED, EXCUSE ANY TYPOS.

#1 : LIKING !

I think this is basic common knowledge, and a lot of people tend to do this. When you like the post, the author sees it, you see it, and if the author has their liked posts accessible (which majority of the time they don’t), and if someone deliberately goes to check it, then they see it. See why so many authors say just liking does nothing? Only liking says “Hey, I’m gonna tell you your story is not that good by simply liking it and not sharing it with other people. :D”

♯ PROS:

You’re telling the author that you've read their fic, and either you’ve enjoyed it to a certain extent, or you’re just saving it to read for later.

Likes are seen by you, the author and anyone who has access to your likes (which, most people don’t).

♯ CONS:

If you ONLY like, you’re not really helping the author’s work reach a wide audience because this site isn’t Instagram. Reblogging is the only way people can SEE our works. I’ll cover more on that in the next section.

In a nutshell, liking is good! But you should most likely use it in a combination with the other stuff I’ve listed below, because just the like itself doesn’t really do much in giving the author any feedback or interaction on their fics.

To clear shit up; I’m not talking about those people who don’t read the story or appreciate it in the first place. I’m talking about those who appreciate the fic, like it, but don’t leave any sort of feedback to show that.

#2 : REBLOGGING !

This is SO, SO important. I cannot stress on this enough. Let me explain WHY so many writers stress on reblogging content: 

Tumblr’s tag system is inherently fucked up, and has grown more so over the year. I’m not kidding, at first, the fic either used to show up in the tags or it didn’t, but now, sometimes your fic can be REMOVED from the tags because of,,, idk tumblr tag shit. Anyways, as you can see, it’s very demotivating for authors at that point, because the major way for people to find their content and expand their blogs has been blocked.  

Due to this reason, tumblr authors need to RELY on you, their followers to help spread their works to a wider audience. Now again, before you get me wrong, I’m not saying you ae forced to rb our works regardless of whether you like them or not. BUT, that being said, if you DO infact like the story, there’s no harm in reblogging, right? By doing this you’re indirectly telling the author — “hey! :D I liked your fic! Which is why I am gonna share it to my followers so they can read it too :D” Trust me, you’re doing nothing but helping the people who produce content for you to read. Seems like a worthy cause to hit the reblog button, right? It’s only a one, or maximum two step procedure.

Leave tags in your reblogs! Trust me, as an author myself and as much as I know from all my author friends, we oft check the tags of your reblogs to see if you found any part amazing or even if you have anything to say about the writing we put so much hard work into. Even a key smash or a “This was so [insert adjective] 🥺” is enough to leave a smile on your authors face. 

♯ PROS :

You’re !! Sharing !! Your authors !! Works !! This leads to them getting more recognition, so for the content they’re so graciously providing for free, you’re promoting their blog and helping them expand it.

If the tags are being a shit, which majority of the time they are, then you’re literally making an author’s day by reblogging! You’re showing them that you, a follower and appreciator of their works are willingly sharing their content because it deserves to be seen by more people. Again before any dumb people decide to attack me, i am talking about people who like the fic but don't bother reblogging and are silent/ghost readers. I am not forcing anyone to read anybody’s work.

YOU’RE MAKING YOUR AUTHOR SO HAPPY WHAT MORE REASONS COULD YOU POSSIBLY WANT !! 🥺

♯ CONS :

Literally none, because as far as I remember no author is against reblogging of their works. It’s quite literally the way this platform functions. Reblogging is IMPORTANT.

#3 : COMMENTING/SENDING FEEDBACK !

This kind of overlaps with the previous section, but THIS IS SUCH AN IMPORTANT STEP !! When you leave feedback, you are directly giving the author something so much more valuable to them than high follower/note counts or money. Your feedback is literally our serotonin. I kid you not the number of times I’ve received a positive comment and smiled and it has made my day. There’s a reason youtubers (though not the best example, bear with me here because it was the only one I could think of) ask people to subscribe, like and COMMENT. The subscription is like a follow, the like is ofc like a heart, and the comment is equivalent to an rb with comments in the tags. 

You might argue and tell me that a comment is basically like an ask so the reblogging step isn’t necessary, but I’m sure 99% of you use YouTube and you know that more comments leads to people’s videos boosted in the stream/trending charts. This is what reblogging does. Reblogging shares the piece with other people like minded, which leads to a boost in reads. You are literally helping your author grow.

It’s quite literally the same thing as youtubers. Youtubers NEED validation to keep their content creation going, so do writers, so do other ccs on this site. This post is however, focused on WRITERS, so keep that in mind.

♯ PROS :

By doing this, you’re giving author valuable feedback! It’s similar to what you do in rbing with tags. Interactivity with their fics boosts their note counts and helps expand their audience, so srsly, now think of it: your one comment is playing such a massive role to help ccs create more content.

Imagine how much of a difference the note counts will be in when every person who simply likes after reading the fic, reblogs, leaves a comment and sends an ask. the note counts would be high on each and every fic, which is validation in itself, but your comments would inspire the writer so much more! Please, don’t skip the commenting part. Even a simple one like: “this is so cute!” is wonderful. 

♯ CONS :

Remember, if you’re gonna give constructive criticism (which I’m sure you all are smart enough to know if different from hate), make sure the author is okay with it. Authors need to be in a specific mindset and must be ready to accept criticism, so if you’re gonna give constructive criticism to them when they’re at a low point, it may demotivate them.

Just commenting, instead of reblogging and commenting in the tags/ reblogging and then leaving an ask in their inbox, while it gives validation in plenty, will not lead to the author’s work being spread. Therefore I suggest either reblogging and commenting in the tags or reblog and then leave an ask, or comment under the fic!

!! reminder; I am not saying that if you don’t rb and just leave feedback, your feedback has no value. We authors truly appreciate every bit of feedback, but this post is aimed to help you learn how to interact with and support authors, and make them feel more motivated, because the current scenario of liking and scrolling is taking a toll on their creative abilities. Take it from a person who’s been writing for a year.

#4 : COMMSIONING VIA THEIR KO-FI/OTHER APPS !

Before any of you attack me, let me tell you that this is not a step that is 100% necessary to do. ONLY donate if you can and if you genuinely want to, and if anyone is forcing you to pay for something against your will, you need to get yourself out of there.

Regardless, if an author has a kofi and you’re able to and you want to donate, you definitely should! It’s also a valid form of support.

#5 : ADDING THEM ON REC LISTS/ RECOMMENDING THEM TO REC BLOGS

This is such an underrated option, to be honest. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve seen my fic was recommended onto some rec list and it’s made me smile so hard. If you like some fics, create a rec list! They’re oft very popular amongst the fans too. Making rec posts is such a great way to share your favorite stories with others. 

Rec blogs! I’ve seen a couple going around, and needless to say they are a great way to get someone else to read your favorite author’s work whilst also giving them your own feedback. These blogs oft accept recs via a form or ask box, and they leave your feedback along with their own, or else they’ll oft tag the author in the feedback post, so look! You’re basically helping your author share their fic to many more people, because you’ve given them feedback and a reblog.

♯ PROS :

Validation! Feedback! Reblogs! More exposure! Helping a blog grow! Spreading love! basically a run down of the stuff I’ve said before!

♯ CONS :

Literally no con of this. Unless, a one in a million case, this author says they don’t like receiving feedback/being tagged, and I’m sure NO person has said this before, at least none that I’ve heard of.

#6 : FINAL COMMENTS; MISC !

When an author points out about how the interactivity is drastically reducing, don’t just give them blind apologies. Yes, you feel sorry for not interacting as much, we understand, but rather show that you’ll become a better content consumer through your actions. We need to see that we’re not just throwing words into a void and that people are actually trying to be better content consumers. 

Understand the fact that authors don’t get paid for this, and 99% of the time, these authors don’t take commissions either. They’re giving you novel worthy writings for free. Take Percy Jackson: You think the author would have felt motivated to write the subsequent parts, let alone two whole series based off of it if literally no one showed that they were interested? Rick Riordan has sales, he is being paid, there are millions of people and big agencies who provide him feedback. Now take that huge amount and simmer it down to an audience of maybe 10000 people This is what fanfic authors want. They don’t want your money, nor are they telling you to risk your lives for them. All they want is, a reblog, some tags, some feedback, some INTERACTIVITY.  A sign that they aren’t throwing fics into the void and that people actually like them, some motivation to continue. Seems fairly easy to throw an rb with some tags, right?

Don’t bother to tell me that we do this for ourselves and we shouldn’t ask for likes and reblogs and feedback, because 1) you are consuming the content that we “write for ourselves” and 2) writers post their content here for interactivity and feedback. We could just not post and write and save our fics in our dungeon drafts for years. But we choose to post to entertain the readers, the consumers. And we aren’t even asking that much in return.

Don’t give me the whole “I’m scared that authors feel that comments are annoying” excuse either because seriously this has been DEBUNKED SO MANY TIMES. Istg, in the nicest way possible, if you still think writers are annoyed by interaction and feedback, after so many posts, long rants have been posted as to how we’re not, then you must truly be living under a rock. There, I said it. Please stop thinking this way, I’ll say it again, AUTHORS ARE NOT ANNOYED OF FEEDBACK, COMMENTS, TAGS, REBLOGS. WE LOVE IT. Saying this is like saying that the audience in a theatre play shouldn’t clap when the play ends because the actors would find it noisy. 🤡

I’ve seen some people saying they have anxiety issues and such, so pls note that I’m not invalidating your condition. If you’re trying to be more interactive, I really appreciate it! If you can’t, that’s fine too. You’re trying.

But for the people who have no reason other than feeling lazy to rb and comment, your lack of interactiveness is not excused. Please. Tumblr is a reblogging site. If you’re gonna consume content like authors are some sort of machines, I encourage you to go get some more perspective.

This site is not Instagram or the satan bird app. Your likes are appreciated but frankly speaking, they do nothing to the author except tell them “Hey i read ur fic but i'm not gonna support u :D” and honestly, that is detrimental to their creative capabilities and mental health. 

DON’T FOLLOW AN ACC JUST TO MINDLESS RB THEIR SIGNAL BOOST POSTS AND THEIR REBLOGS OF GIFS AND NOT INTERACT WITH THEIR WRITING AT ALL ! Trust me, authors prefer a lower amount of interactive followers than a high count that doesn’t even give them any feedback. Again your follows are appreciated, but when you’re following, you know the type of content the author creates, so the author expects that the more followers, the more interactivity. These days, this is just becoming the opposite. So don’t do it! If you’re gonna follow to read, interact with their works. I promise, this will make both you and the author happy. A win-win situation.

In conclusion: SUPPORT YOUR FUCKING AUTHORS! THEY ARE NOT MACHINES THAT HAVE NO FEELINGS TO PRODUCE CONTENT FOR YOU! FICS TAKE DAYS AND DAYS OF PLANNING, PLOTTING, OUTLINING, WRITING, EDITING, MAKING TEASERS. SO JUST SHOW THEM YOU APPRECIATE THEM WITH AN RB. IT’S THE L E A S T YOU CAN DO.

I will be liking this post here written by the lovely @chaninfused​ and @scriptura-delirus​ . Please take time to read it because if you weren’t convinced by my arguments, you will see how much frustration we as writers face on a daily basis. Please, just show support. Here is the post by @stayndays​ about how to get more people to read your work, because it also has a note on reblogging. Please educate yourself, and put an end to this mindless consuming culutre and bring up some interactivity.

If you’ve read this far, I want you to go to two of your favorite authors and leave some feedback in their inbox, and tag me in it (either tag me yourself or ask the author to do so, they won’t mind). Show your writers that our words are taking effect and you are becoming better consumers. I mean it. I’m serious. I want every single one who reads this post to do this. besides valid reasons, if you’re lazy to do this, you’re a part of the problem. PLEASE get more perspective.

Also, feel free to add to this post! I’d love to read your thoughts too, remember to be kind though. And, if I think your rb is somehow contradicting my points and is bringing down the reason I made this post, I will politely ask you to delete your comment, because this post is about being truthful about the harsh reality of tumblr consumers and how we can change it. I’m sure none of you will let it get to that point, though. <3 love you guys. 💓

And, just a reminder, don’t just blindly like this too. Do what I said before, and while I am not forcing you, I’d appreciate your reblog, because seriously, it took me 3 whole days to write this, plus, I’m sure this will help more of your followers understand the fault in consumer culture. haha, that’s it! This post was way too long uff.

also, this is ur cue to not be stupid in my inbox. You have something to say? Think I worded smth wrongly? I’m sure it wasn’t my intention to do so, point it out with manners. 

#skz smut #stray kids smut #skz fluff #stray kids fluff #skz angst #stray kids angst #skz imagines #stray kids imagines #bts imagines #day6 imagines #got7 imagines #enhypen imagines #nct imagines #ikon imagines #treasure imagines #dawn.txt #writers on tumblr #blackpink imagines #twice imagines #red velvet imagines #tagsplsworkaaa

[reiedits1]

The Last Of Us Part II

I played and finished The Last Of Us Part II last week and it has been on my mind ever since. I obviously understand that a lot of people have problems with this game, and that’s okay. I’m not here to change anyone’s views on the game or anything, I just want to kind of write down my opinions and takeaways as, again, it’s been on my mind since finishing it lol. Nobody may see this and this will mean nothing, that’s fine. 

Anyway, this post will contain SPOILERS

My Overall Thoughts

I’m not entirely sure how to structure this so I guess I’ll just start with a broad statement lol; I loved The Last Of Us Part II. In my opinion, it’s a beautiful and well-crafted story about loss, grief and consequences, with how each of these things affect different people. 

Discussion 

From what I’ve seen, I see a lot of people hating on this game for its handling of Joel and the decision to have the player play as Joel’s murderer, Abby. I’ve also seen a lot of people say that the message is as simple and plain as “viOleNcE iS bAd”, but I personally think it’s so much more than that.

The Last Of Us Part II doesn’t just tell you that violence is bad, but it shows you the ramifications of it by dealing with the emotional toll as well as the consequences on not just the main person involved, but their loved ones too.

As we all know, at the start of the game, Joel is brutally killed by Abby and we go with Ellie on a mission to avenge him by killing everybody involved. We see it all from Ellie’s point of view, hardheartedly seeing Abby as the villain as she just killed the character that we know and love as we have an emotional connection to him after the first game. His death is supposed to make you feel angered. It’s not like you’re supposed to be joyed by it. His death scene left me feeling empty and sick, wanting revenge alongside Ellie. 

However, as the game goes on, we start to see the story from Abby’s point of view. We learn that the doctor that you, the player, had to murder at the end of The Last of Us is actually the father of Abby. This is brilliant. Now we see one of the main themes of the story, consequences, and I was immediately on board. Joel is not a good person, at all. He murdered hundreds of Fireflies and took away the possible cure for humanity for his own personal reasons. This is incredibly selfish, even going to the lengths of lying to Ellie about the events as he knows that it isn’t what she would want. Technically, Joel is the villain.

Joel had been through so much, so you may think it’s justified. But the point is, Joel isn’t the only person in the world of The Last of Us. Everybody he murders aren’t just mindless NPCs, they are people. People with their own problems who have gone through their own share of pain and loss, people with their own loved ones. Such as the doctor, who had Abby, whom he loved very much and Abby the same. So, understandably, she would feel incredibly angry and feel the need for revenge, just the same as Ellie and the player after Joel’s death.

There is now a cycle of revenge. Ellie goes on to kill Abby’s friends, and so Abby tries to kill Ellie and her friends. It’s not until Lev talks Abby out of it that the cycle seems to have been “broken”. Abby and Lev put it behind them, however, Ellie cannot and nor can Tommy, which means that the cycle is not broken. Ellie continues her hunt for revenge, thinking it’s still what she needs. Just as she’s about to murder Abby, she sees it’s completely useless.

Here I’m going to talk about another core theme of the story: loss. As Ellie is about to kill Abby, she realises that Joel is gone. Completely gone, and killing Abby is not going to change that. She now has Lev, and if Ellie was to kill Abby, Lev would only lose Abby, leaving him in the same situation Ellie was in at the start of the game, which in turn means Ellie is becoming what she set out to kill. It’s no use. Revenge only causes more pain and loss. This cycle is so vicious and nobody wins, and Abby realised this once she found Lev, and found that revenge is a futile thing that does not achieve anything, especially not bringing back her dead friends. She managed to break the cycle herself, and in turn, she found a life worth living, a live with Lev. However, Ellie could not manage this, choosing to still seek revenge.

Because of this, she faces the consequences. She loses all of her loved ones. She loses Dina, she loses Jesse and she loses her baby son, JJ. Tommy is the same too. Tommy couldn’t break the cycle, and he loses his wife, Maria. And guess what, Joel is still gone. All of that loss, yet Joel is still dead. It’s all been for nothing. Ellie is now completely alone, which is what she said she was scared of in the first game, all because of revenge. The way forward is not anger, rage or revenge, but acceptance and love. That’s my takeaway.

You may think this treatment of Joel and Ellie is “disrespectful”, but I disagree. In the first game, you do a lot of bad things as these characters. Yeah, you go through a lot of pain, but so has everybody else, yet they still face the unfavorable consequences. It only makes sense that Joel and Ellie would too. In my opinion, this only helps to build the world of The Last of Us and show that just because Joel and Ellie are the main characters, they aren’t invincible, and the world doesn’t revolve around them. They just happen to be two people who live in the world amongst so many others, which for me, makes it so much more realistic. This is emphasised in the incredible detail in the gameplay of each enemy having names, with other enemies interacting with eachother as you stalk them. It makes them feel so much more real and only increased my enjoyability.

From a story like this, which is so dark and gritty, I don’t expect a happy ending. You’re not supposed to like Ellie by the end of this story, as she serves as the example of why the cycle of revenge is horrible. You’re not supposed to feel satisfied by it, you’re supposed to feel empty, hurt and sad. That is literally the point. 

You have to realise that The Last Of Us is a piece of artistic storytelling told and made by artists. It would have been so easy for Neil Druckmann to write a boring and two-dimensional story to appease players and make bank. But he didn’t. He chose to craft an intricate, heavy and creative direction for his material, and I hugely respect that. At the end of the day, he doesn’t owe you anything. This is his story, and these are his characters, he can do what he wants with them. If you don’t like his creative vision, then great! You don’t have to. If you don’t like something, just don’t play/watch/read it. If you loved the first game but hated the second, then just pretend it doesn’t exist and come up with your own fanfiction for these characters, it probably wouldn’t have been as good as this.

A lot of people blame “bad writing” when they don’t like something. There’s a difference between feeling bad about something than it being bad writing, you know. Just because it wasn’t what you wanted, doesn’t mean the writing is bad. By you feeling angry about Joel dying, Neil Druckmann’s writing has accomplished its objective. And I’m not trying to say that everybody who doesn’t like this game didn’t like it because their fanfiction didn’t come true. You cannot like this game solely because you don’t like the direction it took, and that’s fine. Because again, this story is a piece of artistic storytelling, and art is subjective.

This entire post is just my opinion. I personally loved this story and these characters, and it was exactly what I wanted to get out of this game. Everything about the game I just adored. I loved the plot, the writing, the characters, the gameplay, the music, the visuals, the performances - everything. And if you didn’t, then great. That’s your opinion. It just hurts me to see so many people dismissing the incredible things achieved in this game solely because of one plot point. I don’t know. As I said, I’m not trying to change your opinion or anything, I just thought I’d share mine.

I only scratched the surface of my thoughts and opinions on this game. I could talk about it for hours, which only goes to show the extent of its achievements and how incredible it really is. I doubt anybody is reading this and that’s fine, apologies if none of what I said made any sense at all lol, I’m awful at articulating my opinions aha.   

#the last of us #the last of us 2 #the last of us part 2 #tlou #tlou2 #yes this is about tlou2 #tlou2 critical #ellie #joel #joel and ellie #joel miller #ellie williams #abby #abby tlou #abby anderson #dina #dina tlou #ellie x dina #lev tlou #abby and lev #the last of us spoilers #the last of us 2 spoilers #the last of us 2 revew #the last of us 2 ending #the last of us analysis #neil druckmann #playstation #ps4 #ps5 #the last of us game

[autisticandroids]

Oh patron saint of mpreg, tell us, what is the absolute gold standard canon divergent mpreg scenario with Cas and Dean?

so for me the gold standard is for cas to get pregnant due to some kind of magical or metaphysical situation that dean at least does not perceive as sex. bonus points is cas is hesitant about it but refuses to explain why (because he doesn't know how dean will deal with the concept of himself being able to potentially get cas pregnant), so dean is like "we're doing it anyway" and then they do it and then cas doesn't tell anyone that he is pregnant until circumstances force the information out of him. and then dean has to deal with the fact that 1) cas can get pregnant, 2) cas is pregnant, 3) it's his, and he does so pretty poorly.

the rest is under a cut because this post is over 2.5k words long.

my favorite times for this to happen are at the end of season nine, just before dean dies and gets demonized in do you believe in miracles, and at the start of season twelve, just before sam and dean go to jail, because the pining in both those scenarios is delicious but it is so much more powerful if cas is also pregnant, and never even told dean. double points if the truth somehow comes out while they're separated so when dean comes back it's like. yeah cas is pregnant. it's yours. welcome home dean now you have to coddle cas' emotions because he thought he would have to raise your baby alone.

the season twelve scenario is particularly delicious because 1) we can have lucifer slut shaming cas in front of crowley in rock never dies, so crowley knows before dean, and 2) much more importantly, mary is there, and i am obsessed with like. okay. several things.

- the idea of mary getting all baby fever because she misses her boys and this is like. a baby she can take care of because she never got to take care of sam

- the idea of dean working through some of his parentification trauma by coparenting a child with the parent whose place he felt he had to take

- the idea of mary coming in and projecting her insane 1980s gender roles all over cas, suddenly treating him like a woman, stripping him of agency, etc. and like. dean would also do this even though he's not from the eighties, but mary would do it double strength, and they would reinforce each other, it would be a nightmare

- also mary trying to relate to cas on the Travails Of Motherhood etc. and cas being like ?????????? like i cannot stress enough that the weird gender roles she projects onto cas are also standards that she held herself to back when she was a Wife And Mother. while cas is like mary i am not a human woman and also i don't see what "having to look pretty for my man when i'm all baby bloaty" has to do with anything. that's not something i feel like i have to do

oh and 3) could you imagine lily sunder has some regrets if cas was pregnant? unfathomable episode. like ishim and mirabel's reaction but ALSO lily's. and it would fix the number one issue i have with lily sunder, which is that the resolution of the moral dilemma is "well AKSHUALLY the kid was human and not a nephilim so killing it was bad" rather than "it was bad to kill lily's baby, full stop." like ishim's cover up and using the machinery of power to manipulate the truth is very compelling, but the fact that it results in the moral essentially being "it would have been okay if the kid had been a nephilim" suuuuuucks.

basically, there's a reason i have two entire mpreg aus set in season twelve.

and then the delicious part in the season nine version is like. one, dean is away for much longer and he could be anywhere. also he's a demon and he's cheating on cas with crowley. and then even when cas gets him back he's still cursed with the mark, so we can get all weepy over that. you know. i'm the one who's going to have to watch you murder the world and i'm eight months pregnant. etc etc.

but the other thing that's juicy about this version is that cas is still semi-involved with the other angels at this point, like he's roadtripping around with hannah and they're trying to get heaven under control, so carrying a nephil is going to really affect those relationships. so he's going to be probably disliked by the other angels, and there are MANY opportunities for slut-shaming, but at the same time, the other "outcast" type angels might respect him for violating heaven's dictates.

and then of course there's his grace vampirism victorian wasting disease. in canon he's perfectly happy to let himself die, but if he were having dean's baby he would absolutely not do that, that's dean's baby he's endangering there. so of course there's the terrible guilt of having to kill other angels so he can live, plus potentially preparing to die shortly after childbirth so he doesn't have to keep killing. delicious.

and on top of all this cas can get slutshamed by metatron in, depending on when exactly he gets knocked up, meta fiction, stairway to heaven, and do you believe in miracles. plus stairway to heaven would be insane like all the angels would know that cas is pregnant. they would see it in his grace. like cas' angel army would just. know that he was pregnant with a nephil, and have to accept that because he's their leader. in love with humanity indeed.

i'm trying to think of other good times for this drama with cas getting secretly pregnant through a nonsexual interaction to take place. it would be great in season six. like: he's doing a blasphemy with his body but at the same time he's this big important rebel leader so they can't say shit about him, and also he's pregnant while fighting these big important battles (fun and sexy), AND this is like, hot on the heels of the realization that something about his feelings for dean is untoward, expands beyond the bounds of ordinary friendship and camaraderie. like he realizes that, and maybe even that he has sexual feelings for dean, and then he gets immediately knocked up. stunning.

it would ALSO be extremely fun for it to be some kind of... i don't know, magical longer gestation times, whatever, but for cas to have gotten pregnant sometime in s5 and only realized during the Year Of Lisa. LOVE to watch a man rake leaves while both metaphorically carrying the taint of taboo sexual feelings for him and literally carrying his child.

but the thing about season six is, first of all, cas isn't really... envisioning a future with dean. not the way he does in the later seasons. like does he fantasize about a future with dean? yes. like. he really did watch that motherfucker rake leaves. but it's only fantasy. he expected to never speak to dean again after swan song until dean prayed to him in the third man. he's obsessed with dean, but it's distant. remote.

like, we talk about cas babytrapping dean in the later seasons with jack, and he absolutely does, and he would do it even more if dean got him literally pregnant, but that babytrap is about... how do i put this. it's about winning dean's affection. late seasons cas knows that he's going to die by dean's side. the difference that babytrapping dean makes is that maybe it will get dean to be nice to him in the mean time, instead of discarding him like so much toilet paper.

but season six cas doesn't think of it like that. if he were gonna babytrap dean, it would be in the more traditional sense of forcing dean to stay with him in order to raise their child together. and he would never do that. he wants dean to have a happy future, which in his mind does not include him. like, compare here "he's retired and he's to stay that way" in the man who would be king, where cas assumes that dean is happy without him and expects him to live out his days peacefully without ever seeing him again, to "i'm the one who's going to have to watch you murder the world" in the prisoner, where cas assumes that he will be by dean's side for centuries.

but anyway, the other, much more important problem with season six is that cas has a war to fight. like, in the later seasons, cas really has nothing. even when he's on tenuous good terms with the angels, he doesn't really have a home with them. the winchesters are his family, and he'd give up anything for them. he has nothing in his life. he's at rock bottom, and this becomes truer the further along you go. late seasons cas has nothing he would prioritize over serving the winchesters, and he would be happy dropping anything he was involved in to have and raise dean's baby. parenting would give him a purpose that he no longer has, because everything else has been stripped from him.

but in season six cas has a life outside of them. like yes, he has a war to fight, but he also has a place in heaven, with the other angels. he belongs somewhere, he has solid connections to the outside world. even if he didn't have a war to fight, i don't know how excited he would be to have and raise a baby (even dean's baby) because he simply has other things he could be doing. he's involved in the world beyond the winchesters.

like, the reason cas wants to be a parent is that he is totally alone and totally purposeless. having a child gives him both a reason for being and someone who will always love him and who he can care for. if he doesn't have that hole in his life he might not be so eager to fill it with a baby.

for all these reasons, this plotline really doesn't work in season six, because you simply cannot justify cas not getting an abortion, unless you do something nasty like make angel abortion impossible, which i don't love.

you COULD somehow put the impregnation just at the end of season six, maybe just before the man who would be king, such that cas doesn't realize he's pregnant until he's already godstiel. you guys are unfortunately very aware of how obsessed i am with pregnant godstiel.

actually, @jeanne-de-valois has a concept of like. a single, madness fueled midnight hookup immediately pre-tmwwbk (or maybe even during, but prior to the superman mistake), where cas is simultaneously so stressed from being stretched so thin from the war and the lying and the shady dealings, and so high on being The Big Man In Heaven, that he's bold and out of his mind enough to actually come onto dean, like he just appears one night in dean's bedroom and is like, fuck me, and dean is like 👁👄👁 okay. so they have one single adrenaline and madness fueled hookup, and then everything immediately goes to shit.

and i think that's a great place for cas to get pregnant, and then he doesn't realize until he's become god, or maybe he does and he's just like "i'll deal with it later," either way godstiel is like oh? i carry dean's heir inside me? i will have dean's baby. i will have dean's baby it is my right and also my boon to him and also a symbol of my great and magnanimous love for humanity. and also maybe i will put giant paintings of myself pregnant with his child up in churches. what about that. which would be fun. don't know when he would give birth though. actually it would be insane if he gave birth as emmanuel and was just like. raising dean's nephil when dean found him again. nuts. but it just doesn't really have the same flavor as late seasons mpreg. doesn't compel me nearly as much. like the symbolism of godstiel being pregnant with dean's child is fun and sexy but them actually raising the kid afterwards doesn't compel me nearly as much, so it's better to leave literal mpreg to the later seasons and let godstiel mpreg reside in symbolism and fantasy.

or maybe the fetus gets stolen by the leviathans when cas walks into the lake and dean has to battle his leviathanated nephil daughter as the main villain of s7. like she's dick roman's secret weapon. i think that would be fun, actually. kind of an emma situation but drawn out over the whole season. and he thinks cas is dead for most of it so she's all he's got left of cas and a mess cas left for him to clean up. big sexy.

and as a bonus, i will also tell you the best time, imo, for dean to get pregnant: near the end of season eight. possibly a single, tragic farewell fuck in sacrifice when cas is planning to lock himself away in heaven and they're never gonna see each other again. and this impregnates dean with cas' nephil.

but then cas is human. and he can't do anything about it. like generally if they managed to get dean pregnant somehow, cas would immediately talk him into an abortion (which wouldn't be too hard; dean's natural white midwestern man who doesn't vote aversion to abortion would be at war with the horror of being pregnant, and the horror would win), or might not even inform dean that he's pregnant, and just quietly end the pregnancy without dean's knowledge, because cas would never put dean through that. but if cas is human, he can't do that. and furthermore, that nephil is the last evidence of his angelic nature that persists. it's the last of what he used to be, the last of his grace. and there's something absolutely delectable about that.

then of course dean would have to leave the bunker if he was pregnant with a nephil, because angels would be after him, and he wouldn't want to lead them to gadreel, so i am imagining dean discovering that he's pregnant and then showing up in a panic at the gas n sip like "actually cas i'm also out of the bunker will you go on the run with me?" and then they go on the run and have to live in motels again and cas gets to live with take care of dean who is pregnant with his child which is essentially his dream, and he doesn't have to feel guilty because he's no longer capable of giving dean an abortion so he doesn't feel obligated to get him to have one. ideally cas gets re-angeled just in time to give dean an angelic c-section. or maybe they rely on a normal human c-section in a hospital and cas stays human and they are two humans raising their nephil, which is also fun to me.

#spn #asks #anonymous #mpregpocalypse

[asterekmess]

Been seeing you getting hate mail and while I absolutely can't understand why anyone would go to all the trouble to make some one else feel bad... I also kinda really love the discourse on Scott? Like YOUR RANTS oh man. On point. Always. Tbh I tried giving Scott a chance... He is the main char after all... But I was like??? Wtf? That dude does nothing but refute others and does whatever he wants. And this was when I didn't particularly like Stiles either (first time watching Teen Wolf). But then I got to know more of him and like Tony he went asshole to lovable asshole—seriously, Stiles might not be the ‘nicest’ but he tries and his heart is in good place—while Scott is just... self-righteous. Someone pointed out that he sees people as possessions and that irks me too that I can actually see it being true. The dude has literally nothing going on except for being the one that gets bitten. And the Romeo-and-Juliet-esque romance he has.

Okay, okay, where was I going with this?? Right. LOVE YOUR RANTS. People need to understand that Scott not being liked isn't because of his race or anything trivial like it—he just happens to be—but because of his actions. Or inactions, as it were. *remembers the pool scene and Scott saying he's busy and resists the urge to chuck a shoe at him*

Basically, love you, love your work, and love your words! ❤️

I've talked with some friends about it, and our number one issue sort of...boiled down to the hypocrisy of the show? I....sort of rant a lot here, and I would add a Read More, but I can't find the option anymore?? I fucking hate Tumblr. EDIT: I found a post that told me how to do it!

So, since he's the character I focus on the most, let's talk about Stiles' morality. Because, you're right. Stiles is an asshole. He does some fucking awful shit in the first season, and even if he had a Reason to do it, it was still bad. And I still don't like it. But I understand it.

Stiles' lack of shits about what is 'lawful' is literally established in the first ten seconds of the show. He's a sheriff's son who sneaks onto people's roofs in the middle of the night bc they aren't answering his calls, who listens in on his dad's work conversations and is willing to fuck up a crime scene because he's so excited about getting to see a dead body. He doesn't care about laws. He doesn't even care about most basic manners (invasion of privacy much, with having Scott sniff Lydia to see if she liked him?). He's a dickhead, even to the people he cares about sometimes. But personality and morality aren't the same. Stiles' entire actual morality system is based around whatever he needs to do to keep the people he loves safe and happy. Lying to his dad so he doesn't get murdered by hunters? Totally fine. Telling Scott that it was "Jackson's own fault" that Scott attacked him with superstrength and dislocated his shoulder, so Scott doesn't feel like an asshole? That's just best friend duties! He will lie, steal, cheat, and he will kill to keep his loved ones safe (let's not forget this boy threw molotovs at Peter, knowing damn well what they would do to him). We can headcanon all we want about all the different people who are in this group of loved ones, but the list is canonically very short: Scott, his dad, and Lydia. Later on, like, past s3B? It includes Derek. Canonically. Stiles puts his life and the lives of others he cares about on the line while he lies to the matriarch of the Calavera hunter clan, to save Derek Hale. Derek is just canonically a part of that group now, and he fucking knows it bc Stiles is his anchor (that's canon too bb). End of Story, Sterek or no Sterek. It's why we get that insane number of lookbacks when Derek is dying before his evolution. Because Stiles is being forced to choose between two people who are BOTH in his ride-or-die group. He Cannot Pick between Scott and Derek, until Derek begs him to leave.

SO, yes, Stiles does fuckface things, and I don't always agree with what he does, but it is ACCURATE TO HIS CHARACTER. He is morally grey. He NEVER CLAIMS to be pure or good or just or righteous. Stiles knows who he is, and he stays true to himself. And I love him for that.

The same goes for a bunch of other characters! For Peter, who is strikingly similar to Stiles, in that family goes above literally everything. Screw the idea that he was following Derek around waiting for the chance to steal back the Alpha spark. That man put his life on the line (his second life, no less) to get the shit beaten out of him until Derek let him help save Derek's life Again and Again. Family Comes First.

Scott's morality is...confusing as fuck. I thought at first he was similar to Stiles, in that family came first, but...while he's protective of his mother, he also does a lot of stuff that puts her at risk without seeming to care/worry (like leaving Peter alone with her once Stiles hits their car, so he can chase Jackson) (or asking her to come to the high school when he's convinced there's a bomber in it)? Seriously, he's more protective over Allison, than his mother. It's very black and white the rest of the time. Very "this bad" "this good." And if you do "bad" then you are bad forever, while if you do "good" you are only good until you do "bad." The Betas were "good" until they asked for the bite, and then they were "Bad." Derek was "bad" when Scott met him and scared him, so after that, no matter how much "good" he did, he remained "bad." But only when it suits him. Allison is good even when she does bad, because he wants her to be good. Chris is good even though he's done mountains of bad, because of the minuscule amount of good that Scott has seen him do, because Scott wants him to be good. Even DEUCALION is good, despite the crazy CRAZY amount of bad he's done and despite having seen him do NO GOOD, just because Scott wants him to be good. Lying to those closest to you is bad, unless Scott is doing it, and then it's good, because he knows HE is good. Killing people is bad, unless Scott is doing it. Letting villains go is bad, unless Scott is doing it. Biting people is bad, unless Scott is doing it. Protecting family is good even if it requires killing or lying, unless it's not Scott doing it. Revenge for past slights is good, unless it's not SCOTT doing it. And you try to understand it! You try to say, okay, then he's morally grey, got it. He plays with the rules to suit his own morality, whatever. Except that Scott, the other characters, and THE SHOW ITSELF, are all telling you otherwise! They all say that Scott is morally pure. That he is good and righteous and lawful. That he always does the "right" thing, and that when he does "bad" things, it's justified and he had to. THE HEAVENS THEMSELVES say Scott is somehow better or more righteous than the other characters by MAKING HIM AN ALPHA OUT OF NOWHERE. (I'm talking abt canon here, not going into deaton conspiracy theories) It's like....Like in the hate mail response I did, where I pointed out that Every Single Thing people get angry at Derek for doing, Scott did too. Lying, killing (or at least attempting it), attacking innocents, losing his temper, keeping secrets, refusing to work with someone who could help, etc etc etc. Everything Derek has done that is morally "wrong," Scott has also done. And that's okay! Doing a bad thing doesn't make you a bad person, and even if it did, Scott is ALLOWED to be bad! GO FOR IT.

Except that he is sinless. It isn't that he learns from the bad things he does, it's that they aren't treated like bad things in the first place. Because Scott did it, and Scott always does the right thing.

Derek's behavior is reprehensible at times, but the show ADMITS that and frames it as bad. Frames it as him doing a bad thing when he scares Isaac or throws Peter or tells Erica who to date. And that's fine, because Derek is established as not being morally pure.

But SCOTT IS. And because they were so desperate to make him continue being "Pure" they didn't frame the things he did as wrong, or if they did, they absolved him of it immediately, using the exact same reasoning that works for Derek's situations, but this time Actually Accepting it.

He scares Stiles, well it's because he's scared. He throws Isaac, it's because he's upset. He attacks Jackson well it's because Jackson was being a dick. He orders Allison to date Matt, well he had a goal to accomplish. Every reason is treated like a fucking doctor's note that erases the bad things he does.

Being scared, or angry, or retaliating to someone being an asshole, or trying to protect himself, was NEVER a good enough reason for Derek to do ANYTHING "Bad." It was never an acceptable excuse.

IF IT WERE: If the show were making a statement about how fallable people are, how they do bad things, but they do them for a REASON. How people will do wild and terrible things out of fear, and how that doesn't make it less bad, but it makes it understandable, so don't demonize them out of nowhere. If that were the case, I would HAVE BEEN FINE WITH IT.

Scott is held to COMPLETELY different standards than everyone else in the show! And I DON'T mean that people held him to higher ones. They dropped that bar so fucking low. Anything was allowed, and any excuse was good enough.

He made out with a girl who was dating someone else, who his best friend was in love with? It's just the full moon, he's angsty about losing Allison. He ducttapes Liam to a bathtub and starts throwing random phrases at him that he hated Derek for saying to him? He's freaked out! He doesn't know what to do with a bitten wolf! It was an accident! He works with a mass murderer behind people's backs without telling them the whole story? Am I talking about Gerard or Deucalion? Who fucking knows. Either way, it's okay, because he was protecting his family. He plots to murder a cancer patient slowly and painfully by replacing meds that likely included painkillers with mountain ash, and the uses someone else's body to deliver the killing blow, and it's okay because he was just being smart! He was just working ten steps ahead! He was saving his mom and the whole town! Who cares if it DIDN"T WORK?

He walks into his ex-girlfriend's hotel room and scares the SHIT out of her while she's naked and alone in the shower? It was the wolfsbane. It doesn't matter that no one else's impulses included HARASSING someone. He lies to his girlfriend's face about her own life because he doesn't think it's important enough for her to know (who am I talking about, come on, take a guess, which one is it? Allison or Kira? Trick question: it's both). He was just being kind! He didn't want to worry her! He didn't want to make her feel bad! She didn't need to know!

I'm so far off track it's not even funny. My point was that Everything the other characters in the show are demonized for or framed as evil or bad or wrong for doing, Scott is shown to do and it's treated like at minimum a comedy, if not a Perfect Brilliant Strategic Move.

God, fucking hell. I mean, the PARALLELS you see in this show, between Scott and others. The scene of Alexander Argent going to the hotel after being bit? That bit where he pulls his shirt up in the mirror? It's a near PERFECT replica of Scott looking at his bite at Deaton's. They paralleled SCOTT MCCALL with AN ARGENT. Deaton has this whole line in S2 where he's bitching at Derek about "the person you should trust the most doesn't trust you at all" And then seasons later, we have Scott look his best friend in the eye and refuse to trust him, only to get upset later because Stiles doesn't want to work with him anymore and he "lost them." Scott goes running into Derek's house in S1 to accuse him of killing the bus driver, and when he can't get a real response, he EGGS HIM ON by accusing him of Murdering his SISTER, just to get Derek to react. Which is the EXACT same thing Kate did when she showed up and wanted Derek to lose his temper. Scott is CONSTANTLY paralleled with villains and assholes, and constantly does the things that others are persecuted for. But instead of feeling regret or learning something from it, instead of growing AT ALL. Those actions are treated as good. We are told they are righteous. And clever. That they are what heroes do. AND YES: There are parallels between Derek and Stiles' behaviors and villains/morally grey characters! Of course there are!

BUT THEY AREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE THE TRUE ALPHA MAIN CHARACTER. SCOTT IS SUPPOSED TO BE THE GOOD GUY. HE'S NOT SUPPOSED TO MIMIC/EMULATE THE VILLAINS, AND HE'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE REWARDED WHEN HE DOES IT ANYWAY.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again; I understand the urge to think that the Teen Wolf writers did all of this on purpose. That they built Scott up as an unreliable narrator, so that we're forced to come to terms with a protagonist who isn't good, and we watch them fall into a villainous role while thinking all the while they are a hero. That all these parallels are intentional and the writers just couldn't Tell us what was going on bc they didn't have enough power.

And sometimes I play into it. I will lie to myself about Scott being the 'narrator' of the entire show, and that we're seeing it all through his eyes so of course things are biased and conflicting, just so I can actually Enjoy watching it.

But I think it's absolute bullshit that this was done on purpose. It wasn't. The parallels appeared because they Wanted Scott to do the badass things that they had all the villains doing, throwing people and being sneaky and clever, and stopping the bad guy, and they didn't want to deal with the fact that they were having him do bad things. So they just pretended he wasn't and refused to acknowledge that they'd already punished other people for doing the same exact shit, but somehow Scott was getting rewarded. They wanted Scott to be the hero, so they made him the hero, and screw everybody else.

#personal #anti-Scott McCall #go for it #love mail #meta ramblings #rant #long post #WHERE IS THE READ MORE BUTTON HALP