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jamisonwritestf2trash · 7 months

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What sort of jobs do you think the mercs would have if they weren't, y'know, mercs?

What Would The TF2 Mercs Jobs Be If They Weren't Mercenaries?

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Ough, I love this. It's a very cool suggestion, Anon. Thank you for asking! I've thought about this a couple of times, and I'm glad to get a chance to rant >:)

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Demo would get into pyrotechnics for a while, (shocker I know, but bare with me) he'd find himself setting up fireworks shows, making fireworks, teaching safety courses and all that fun stuff, but I don't think he'd be fulfilled in the same way being a merc would. He'd find himself being bored with the monotony of it all, only doing it for the money. After a while of this he'd finally just say fuck it, and try and look for other work opportunities, found an animal shelter in desperate need of new hires, submitted his application, and with in two weeks had become absolutely enthralled with his new job. He finds out he loves working with animals! He makes friends with every animal in the shelter right away, and gets a good chunk of them adopted each year or so.

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Engie would have most likely gone on to become a very successful engineer. Shocker, I know. He would have probably specialized in biomedical engineering. I think he'd go in with no particular job in mind, but then would be introduced into the idea of building prosthetics and become a prosthetist. He likes being able to help people with his creations. (MINI HEACANON / STORY) The first time he ever made a prosthetic was for a little kid who lost his leg due to a car crash. He was super traumatized from the accident and refused to let anyone near him, Engie spent about a year working with the kid to, one be able to measure and fit him for his prosthetic, and two, to just make the kid smile and make him less scared. When the job was done the kid was so happy, grinning ear to ear, he hugged Engie and was literally crying out of joy, that's when Engie knew he loved his job 😭

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Heavy has a doctorate in Russian literature, so I'd assume he'd go into the teaching field with that as his specialty. He'd find a university in need of a professor and work with students to help them better themselves. He just likes being able to share his experiences and perspective with those who want to learn. Very much a "Tuesday's With Morrie" type of teacher. Will literally do anything for his students by the way. He love each year he spends teaching, also loves hearing from his students after they graduate. Really just wants to make an impact on peoples lives anyway he can. He'd probably end up being a writer if he couldn't go into teaching for some reason. He'd write fiction mainly, maybe some life experiences too, for the same reasons above.

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Medic would have found a way to get his medical license back, legally or illegally (most likely the latter). And went on to continue practicing medicine, most likely in a country with more lax laws on human experimentation. If that failed, the local morgue is always hiring graveyard shifts, and when no one really cares too much about what happens to the corpses, Medic would find ways to keep himself very entertained. I also think he could be content working as a librarian! I don't know, like the gap between librarian and doctor is huge but I can just imagine him and Archimedes running a little library together, (Kind of like uh Blue and Linda from Rio, I'm really pulling out random media this prompt, 😭) I just feel like even though he's batshit insane nine times out of ten he can still enjoy a quiet, peaceful life if he wanted too. Probably still does a bit medical stuff on the side though, you just can't stop him.

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Scout is another case of me being unsurprising. He'd be a baseball star. It's really a toss-up on whether he gets super famous or just enjoys quiet success. If he's super famous you bet he's signing contracts for advertisements and other things you'd expect multimillionaires to be doing (He'd also be so thrilled to be a multimillionaire he'd be giving his mom her dream life) and just generally enjoying the fame. If he didn't make it into the big leagues, he'd still be successful in minor leagues. I'll even go as far as to say that even if he didn't make it big or even semi big, he'd become a coach little league/ high school /college and love it. Honestly, he would cry if one of the kids he coached went pro one day. (Maybe a Twitch streamer would also fit, but that's silly, right?)

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Sniper has always been into wildlife photography. He absolutely loves animals. He's naturally good at photography. I think him having good aim and a steady hand are a mix of a natural talent and years of training. His years of training would have just gone into photography instead of, you know. He gets very good very quickly, takes pictures you'd see hung up as decoration pieces, and definitely had a fair share of curious animals wandering up to him to check out his work. For a guy who loves animals, he's living the dream. Haz had a few less than steller run-ins during his time, but generally appreciates being able to enjoy nature and animals as part of his job.

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Spy being an actor would come naturally for him. He's great at switching his style, mood, character, etc. So he'd naturally be interested in a job where that skill would be valuable, then he finds out about how much money he can make off of acting and just goes straight in. I think he would end up being a really popular actor, people liking him in almost any role he plays, and would generally have little to no hater or bad press. He loves going over every new script and building up his character in his mind, then giving them a place off the page. He also loves going to fancy parties, so... Also, the first time he got a bad/negative review or comment on his acting, he cried lmao.

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Soldier would so be a historian. Like, hands down, only job I think he could have outside of being a merc. He can rant for hours about American history and knows so much about other countries too due to their involvement with America and a general curiosity, that he'd be a perfect to teach about history in museums, classrooms, or even just uploading videos online. Just put someone who needs to learn about history of any kind in front of him, and they'll learn more in the time with him than they ever have. Also! I'm not sure what these people are called, and I'm way too tired to look it up, but I think that Soldier would help new immigrants with leaning English and with getting their citizenship. Solider would also help refugees. Also also, he'd hold support groups for veterans.

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Pyro is normally headcanoned as a fire fighter or ex-fire fighter I'm pretty sure, but I think it's easy to forget that while Pyro likes fire, they like making firsvl, you know what else they like? Making art! So naturally, being a glassblower would be a great fit for Pyro. They love the job! The molten glass is mesmerizing to them. The artistic freedom is liberating. It's all just so great to them. They make a lot of flame themed pieces that and animal themed pieces. They mainly do pieces and sell them at markets instead of taking commissions for them. They're super happy with this life and have multiple pieces of their work displayed in their home. They sometimes get this feeling of missing something, like a vague memory, but they just continue to make new art to fix that, but oddly enough, they end up reminding them more of those distant memories. I wonder what that's about.

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I swore I'd get this out today, and I held myself to that, even though I almost passed out. (Not me posting this 5 minutes to midnight lmao) I only had three paragraphs left, and I was not giving up on them. I swear I'm trying to get better at consistency 😭

Anyways enough of that, I hope you enjoyed this! I had fun writing it. Trying to come up with different jobs for them is both really fun and oddly difficult. Anyways! The schedule for new posts will hopefully go as follows:

Mercs favorite books

Medic and Creepypasta

How the Mercs would react to a close teammates death

(Then any asks that come in would follow!)

So yeah! Busy weekend, but I'm not complaining:D

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #tf2 headcanons #team fortress headcanons #tf2 hcs #tf2 demoman #tf2 engineer #tf2 heavy #tf2 medic #tf2 scout #tf2 sniper #tf2 spy #tf2 soldier #tf2 pyro

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thatgordongirl · 1 year

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Ghosts Season 1 References to the ghosts’ lives

Finally got through the first season on all the references and inferences to the ghosts’ lives, hope everyone likes the results?

Episode 1 - Who Do You Think You Are?

Fanny is Heather’s Great-Grandmother

Mary could make baskets and died in a witch trial

Kitty ate and dislikes eggs

Julian mentions his by-election victory speech from 1991- very inspiring, very long, and a few smutty jokes. This particular by-election occurred after the death of a conservative member on 20th September 1991 in which a labour member took their place. Whether it is altering that by-election to insert Julian or if it is completely unrelated all together is unknown (Take with a grain of salt, I am an Aussie who doesn’t know the intricacies of British politics)

Robin lived on the land first, but Fanny owned the house

Both Alison and Captain love gardens/garden views

When Thomas was alive, he heard a rumour that a plague girl could be heard singing in the pantry

Julian is wearing two rings: his wedding ring and presumably his Cambridge ring

Fanny was pushed out of the window by her husband George

George was having an affair with two other men

Mary could milk a cow

Episode 2 - Gorilla War

I Am The Very Model Of A Modern Major-General was written in 1879, so Captain most likely heard it when he was alive

Kitty sings The Lark in the Morning, dating back to 1778

Julian is a first from Cambridge

Once, a bear was able to see Robin

Julian references compact discs, but also seems to have some knowledge of technology

Robin references a cousin

Julian claims to have, as a lead envoy, solved the Arabian crisis in 1991 by starting a war

The plague ghosts know how to fix the old boiler, they were most likely there when it was fixed previously

Not a living thing, but Pat calls Thomas Tom in this episode and it’s adorable write that down

Julian refers to the Watney MP having sexual relations with horses (That’s right, plural)

Julian references a liberal in a sailor sauna (And he was not there to learn about boats)

Thomas most likely read Romeo and Juliet when alive

Episode 3 - Happy Death Day

Pat was killed when teaching his scouts archery, in which Keith accidentally shot him. He died calling out for someone to call his wife and driving the bus into a tree. (Self-explanatory, still horrified me)

Captain references a speech made by Winston Churchill

Robin talks about fighting with rocks and sticks and bears (recurring theme apparently)

Kitty thinks her father is dead, which may imply he didn’t die on the grounds

Kitty’s sister Eleanor told her that people made babies by pressing their ears together

Captain references The Blitz, a German bombing campaign that occurred during WW2, and the Luftwaffe, the German airforce

The east wing’s drainage was put into the house in 1894

Pat’s death day was October 27th 1984

Julian mentions extending the Bramptons in 1986, he ran it through the MP expenses

Robin has a flea in his ear and worms

Julian shot fish in a barrel once at a Party Conference in Bournemouth

Pat’s family come every year on his death day to the tree that he crashed into, which came down after the storm of 1987

Pat has a son, Daley, and a wife, Carol

His best friend Morris had his own set of keys to their house

Pat came home one Sunday from camp and found all Morris’ clothes on the floor, he and Carol had an affair

Captain mentions the Western Desert campaign and Bernard Montgomery

Thomas had probably eaten figs and drank wine

Julian has taken part in a ‘Norwegian picnic’ and ‘Himalayan Campsite’

Mary says that when you saw a swan in her town it was the devil at play

Julian is wearing a watch on his left wrist

Daley had (what I think to be) beige pants, he’s an accountant, he’s happy

Carol is busy with the bowls club, Morris is sweet but very small

Pat’s grandson is named after him, and has Pat’s legs

Episode 4 - Free Pass

Julian remarks that he was never fond of cornflakes

Thomas liked eating an egg atop a cutlet, a thin slice of meat from the leg or ribs of mutton, veal, pork or chicken

Button House is from the 15th century, 1469 to be precise

The facade is mid-16th century

Captain assumes the actors will be dressed in loincloths, oiled up, and kissing each other. I don’t know if that’s a Tim period thing or if Captain’s just seen freaky stuff

Henry VIII dined in the banqueting hall, he had swan, hog, dumplings and figs and stank out the privy (I’m dying rn)

Mary is from the Stuart era, Humphrey from Tudor, and Thomas from the Regency

Pat dislikes veggie sausages

Julian likes to bet on horses

Julian’s free pass was Samantha Fox

Both Julian and Margot had lists, Margot’s included Wolf, Cobra and John Fashanu from the 1992 show Gladiators

Thomas’ rivalry with Lord Byron is mentioned

Pat references video cassettes

Thomas believes that Lord Byron stole one of his verses

Robin asks why Toby is doing a rain dance

Julian remarks that the free pass wasn’t a joke in his marriage

Episode 5 - Moonah Ston

Fanny falls from the east wing window, and is notably dressed in grey

She’s Edwardian. This era is placed between 1901-1910, but some say it ended with the beginning of WWI in 1914. As Fanny mentioned having a ticket for the titanic, this would place her between 1910-1914

Julian met Barclay at a party fundraiser at Button House

Julian heard a funny story on a golf course involving Bruce Forsyth-Johnson, a British entertainer

Pat loves dogs so much he’s willing to get sick, bless him

Julian references The Importance of Being Earnest by Oscar Wilde

Fanny possibly ate turtle soup, oyster rissoles and pheasant

Captain is unsurprisingly able to shoot a gun

“Gleaming bundook op from the civvy” and “boshing jerry” is Captain just saying that the civilian is good at shooting and he’ll be out fighting Germans in no time

Mary knows how to properly prepare a pheasant

Robin had his own site on the grounds that Stonehenge apparently copied, and he remembers the ritual reading

Fanny is disgruntled by the cutlery and says they should be on the outside, which was how she was taught

Fanny also seems to have knowledge on Barclay’s family

Kitty says she’s wearing what she died in, pretty self-explanatory there

Thomas is well aware of techniques for public speaking such as dramatic pauses, but clearly wasn’t good at using them

Thomas references Saint Cuthbert

Pat references Betemax

Julian is aware of Barclay’s poker ability and his bank account in Fiji

Robin’s connection with the moon is rooted in it being the only thing that’s been around as long as he has

Captain mentions light pollution, which only began getting addressed in the 1950s, though he could’ve learnt about it earlier or later

Episode 6 - Getting Out

Robin liked eating cooked meat

Julian likes fondue

The house was worth a thousand pounds in Fanny’s era

Julian has committed fraud to get money

The plague ghosts have had falling outs before, but they’ve never lasted longer than 20-25 years

Pat describes having music on the go, unaware that it already exists

Fanny hid an Arabic jewel in a box under a floorboard, it was given to her husband by Queen Empress Alexandra. He pawned it.

Captain has ear hair

Captain’s limbs creak, it is a joke of course, but canonical so my hands are tied

Kitty likes to talk about balls and eligible men

Robin has seen many people come and go from the house

The plague ghost skeletal remains are under the house

Captain was aware of the bodies in the basement

#bbc ghosts #the captain #pat butcher #fanny button #julian fawcett #robin bbc ghosts #kitty bbc ghosts #mary bbc ghosts #thomas thorne #bbc ghosts humphrey #alison cooper #mike cooper #barclay

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centaurianthropology · 6 months

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Given how things are shaping up in C3 I have some thoughts about what might happen next (moon scouting aside). It’s clear that the Hells are given power-ups similar but different to the Vestiges of Divergence quests in VM. And honestly, I totally understand how the shard ended up with Ashton rather than Fearne. From an in-character perspective (and even from a player perspective), of course it went to them. The shard appeared at the end of what has essentially been Ashton’s backstory quest, which has been all about titans. Ashton is about titans and dunamancy. Fearne is about fae and a touch of infernal. So when people insist she get the titan shard just because they’re both fire-based? The shard that appeared right at the end of Ashton’s quest for information about himself? Yeah, I’d want to give it to him too, concentrating titan power into Ashton.

And that leads me to my real thoughts about what happens next: essentially the Hells, or at least several of them, have doubled down on what originally gave them power. Ashton has doubled down on titans, Laudna on Delilah (and I think we’ll get a full quest of that later).

I think that the moon scouting mission will double as something of Imogen’s continued backstory quest (a lot of the early part of the campaign started it, but this, I hope, will focus on Leliana). I think we’ll probably gain some moon object for her to absorb and power her up with moon stuff. And that’s another thing about the way this is shaping up: they are embracing the most dangerous parts of themselves, the parts that could kill them or turn them evil. That’s what each of them will have to grapple with (and why I’m thrilled it was Ashton who got the fire shard, because that puts them on a collision course with repeating the choices their father made, and really coming to terms with what being Hishari means. From a storytelling perspective, this is by far the cooler choice).

I have an idea that Laudna could literally absorb Delilah in a way that Delilah is no longer in control. Laudna becoming her own patron is the best possible end to cutting her puppet strings, and that would be a fascinating way to do it: stealing all the power and the last bit of essence of the woman who murdered her. There is something of a darkness there, with the end of a vengeance storyline, which will be juicy.

Fearne would have two options: doubling down on being Fey by obtaining something from another spelunk in the Feywild, or going to the hells and retrieving something infernal. I think the infernal route is likely the real Dark Fearne route, while the fey route likely puts her on the path to becoming Archfey, which could be a very interesting end for her character (and likely one Ashley would be intrigued by, to become the new Grandma Morri).

Chetney is likely going to delve either into something Catha-related (other moon, whoo!) or something nature-related. I think going white moon to Imogen’s red moon would be cool, and would really focus in on controlling his werewolf side.

FCG is likely going to have to go Aeorian. They could go divine, but I think Aeorian would be juicier. Delving into their past and the person they used to be before they lost their memories is something I’ve been excited for, and even though they’re already coming to the conclusion, realizing that what makes them themselves is their choices now, not a thousand years ago, will be very cool. We might even see a different side to FCG come out and be in conflict with his current self (something else I’m expecting in a lot of these storylines).

And finally there’s Orym, the little guy. He’s actually the hardest to define how to give a power-up to, because so much of his story is about not having that. All his friends are magical powerhouses, and he’s a little dude with a sword. So I actually am hoping that Orym either goes for another nature-based Wildmother powerup (making him the one with divine powers), or one of entirely humanity-based power, possibly by teaming up with someone like Percy, who was also never divine.

Anyway, this all may get proven wrong (and a lot of the finer details almost certainly will!), but this is sort of the trajectory I see in the next leg of their journey: getting their own legendary power-ups, but those power-ups forcing them to confront their past and the possible futures. And because they’re incorporating them into their very beings, those confrontations are both inevitable and necessary.

#critical role #thoughts about where to go from here #still loving recent developments

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cyril-v-pyromancer · 5 months

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World Building Fact

Avalon is home to a species of fox called renka. They have bat wings and a venomous bite from their diet of poisonous plants. Typically they are used as helpers around settlements because they have the intelligence of a small child and opposable thumbs. One of Castien's pets is a renka named Scout.

She uses her thumbs to chase people with knives. Also she has a story in her pov! Maybe a snippet of that soon?

TAGLIST ASK TO BE REMOVED/ADDED: @writing-is-a-martial-art @sparrow-orion-writes @memento-morri-writes @sparrowcraft @verba-writing @midnight-and-his-melodiverse @fearofahumanplanet @nivahiem @albatris @lucysnotebook @wip-nook @writeblrsupport @365runesofthesystem @fairycosmos @theimperiumchronicles @cryptid-s-wips @kjscottwrites @thepunk-nessmonster

#pyro tome: avalon #writing #writeblr #world building

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girlactionfigure · 8 months

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The son of a Jewish pharmacist in Harlem, Morris "Moe" Berg (1902-1972) was a brilliant student, and he also developed a talent for baseball, playing throughout his school years.

While attending Princeton with a major in Modern Languages, Berg played for their baseball team, and it was there that Major League scouts first saw him.

After graduating from Princeton with honors, Berg signed on with the Brooklyn Robins (aka: the "Trolley Dodgers", then later, just the "Dodgers") in 1923. He enjoyed baseball, but also saw it as a way to make enough money to further his education and continue his intellectual pursuits.

After a demotion to the Minors, Berg was called up by the Chicago White Sox in 1925. During his time with the White Sox, he began his studies at Columbia Law School, and was admitted to the New York Bar in 1929.

Berg bounced around to different teams during the 1930s, eventually landing with the Boston Red Sox in 1935, where he ended his playing days four years later, although he continued with Boston as a coach until 1941.

Berg's keen mind and the fact that he spoke 10 languages brought him to the attention of the U.S. government during World War 2, and he joined the Office of Strategic Services (OSS), parachuting (at the age of 41) into occupied Europe in 1943.

After evaluating the Yugoslavian resistance, Berg made his way to Norway, where he gathered information on a top-secret plant manufacturing heavy water for Germany's atomic bomb program. The British Royal Air Force used his intel to bomb the plant and destroy it.

Berg then traveled to Switzerland to attend a lecture by the eminent German physicist Werner Heisenberg. His mission was to determine how close the Nazis were to an operational atomic bomb, and if they were close, he was to shoot Heisenberg then kill himself.

But after listening to the lecture, Berg decided they were not all that close, and his mission was aborted. Instead of killing him, Berg walked Heisenberg back to his hotel, picking his brain about physics along the way.

For his work with the OSS during World War 2, Berg was awarded the Medal of Freedom, but he turned it down, only to have his sister accept it on his behalf after his death.

Historia Obscurum

#WW2 #BaseballGoesToWar

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crazygirl58 · 6 months

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hi there! oh, what is my name? my name is jennifer ondioline, i am from munich which is in bavaria which is in germany. i like electroclash, cindy sherman, attending institutions of higher education, public transportation, and multilingualism. i am not sure what sales tax is but i know a whole lot about a ton of other stuff. i cannot cross my fingers on my right hand due to damage caused to my ulnar nerve from an unspecified accident that occurred in the autumn of the year 5779. i have conflicting thoughts about the existence of one or many gods. i may or may not be a sex addict but that’s neither here nor there. what is both here and there is this very jennifer ondioline update from the month of september, which i hope allows you to take a glimpse into my life as an international student who also just so happens to be a transsexual girl who lives in chicago illinois.

me and jarth... we go to this show in rogers park ! and who do we see there ? we aren't sure ! we just got into town ! but we did meet some pretty cool people like this guy nia who is so crazy cool and has a german mother ! oh and jarth needs to be scouted for liquid death magazine... WOOF !

the aftermath of the aforementioned show, a little something for the foot fetish people (i am an ally !), and trying out a new color !!

jahrethh and i pose in front of signs of companies which employ us! (seven eleven and Philip Morris International)

katya (clark detransitioned?), jahrethh, and myself at their residence in the loop. i love my friends !! we are having very much fun together, even though (because) they occupy an extremely male living space ! and yeah, i'm a pretty ass pooper... you got me... 🫦

just 3 fucking men. mind your own business.

me doing ecology (watching squirrels make whoopee), a rainbow from my friend's lincoln park apartment, and a very petite watermelon slice grown in Wild Roots Garden !!

i am a big big fan of architect Jeanne Gang !! lakeshore east park has the most beautiful view of two gorgeous skyscrapers designed by her, Aqua (pictured above) and the St. Regis Tower (formerly Wanda Vista Tower).

fun fact ! Aqua was once the tallest skyscraper designed by a woman. Gang then designed the St. Regis Tower, completed in 2020, surpassing her own former record !! whaaat !?!

selfie with the 27 species that went extinct since 8:00 this morning !

ok jennifer ondioline fans. that is all for now. until next time.

bleibt durstig, meine freunde. viele küsse von deine lieblingstranse, jennifer ondioline.

#transsexualität #something real #some real shit

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number1yisuchongfan · 1 year

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Okay so… I’m in the middle of MAJOR Heal & Steel (Cmedic x Cheavy) brainrot right now so here’s my headcanons about them (Both as a ship and just as Characters + slight nsfw warning near the end):

Cmedic’s real name is Rubén Pacifico Jabir Rodríguez and he’s a Panamanian-Honduran American

Cheavy’s real name is Morrison “Morris” DeMont and he’s Italian-American (tho he knows 0 Italian and lives in the middle of fucking Colorado)

Cheavy isn’t a very “touchy-feely” person but Cmedic often is able to get him out of his shell with gentle reassurance

Cmedic has a lot of tattoos on his back, one got ruined because when he went through the respawn system for the first time; the system didn’t heal away the scar he got on his back from the RED Sniper during the first ever “Capture the Flag” match

Cmedic and Greg Morgan (Classic BLU Scout) invited the “Bunnyhopping” mechanic one day when they both used Conc Grenades to jump above Classic RED Soldier (Jonas) and Heavy (Benjamin)

Cmedic is much more of a Defense class kinda merc while Cheavy is more of a Support class (kinda making ‘em the opposites of Medic and Heavy)

One time, Cheavy and Cmedic spent the holidays with Cmedic’s parents (who are named Carmen and Luis Jr.) and Cheavy offered to help Cmedic’s mother making tamales for Christmas diner. He was completely confused to the point Cmedic and his father were laughing their asses off at him failing to wrap a tamale

Cheavy is sometimes a very standoffish and defensive person but does soften when he’s around people he cares about (Cmedic thinks it’s cute)

Cmedic and Cheavy often hold each other’s hand when they smoke together, Cheavy smokes cigars and Cmedic smokes cigarettes

One time, Virgil Hargrove (BLU Classic Sniper) and Cmedic got high on some cannabis. Cmedic nearly fell out of the BLU Sniper’s watchtower like a dumbass if it weren’t for Grég (BLU Classic Demo) caught him before he hit the ground

Cheavy and Grég are best friends and end up doing dumb shit that gets them hurt in dumb ways; Cmedic is sick and tired of them + Ross and Greg getting in trouble constantly

Cmedic, Virgil and Cspy (who I call Marcos) are all friends, they often either get high in Virgil’s tower/room, drink in Cspy’s room, or smoke in Cmedic’s room

Grég is the only one who “knows” that Cheavy and Cmedic are dating (They all do but they have to pretend not to so Cmedic won’t stop healing for a week straight)

Cheavy is a very touchy person, so he often picks up Cmedic and holds him or hugs him. He also pets the top of Cmedic’s head a lot, no matter if there’s a helmet or not; Cmedic will be pat

Cmedic bites people who try to shave his musty stubble and just in general when he doesn’t have his mask on

Cheavy’s canine teeth happened to be snaggle-teeth so it looks like he has fangs (Cmedic thinks they’re hot). The first time they made out, Cheavy accidentally bit Cmedic’s neck like a vampire and profusely apologized for it

Here’s my hc versions of them:

(The one of Cmedic is of what I think his face looks like)

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racmune · 6 months

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heyyyy im racmune, i use he/him pronouns. i draw a lot and write fic sometimes! im a weird n i post whatevers :P

my inbox is always open n im pretty friendly, if you wanna send in an ask u dont gotta be shy!

art commissions: not open atm, subject 2 change

dni, excluding what should be obvious: support israel, te(rf), swerf, truscum, exclusionist, etc

i also block very liberally, if you dont fit this criteria n ive blocked you it aint personal

more about me

current hyperfixations: the scratched universe (STRAPS YOU TO A CHAIR AND FORCES YOU TO WATCH IT), scoutpauling, tf2, n web design :3333

likes include but not limited to: music, anime, fanfiction, video games, chattin w/ buds, sleeping, drawing, computers, ftm history n such :P

dislikes include but not limited to: rude people, intense unfamiliar tastes n textures ..... uhhhhhhhhhhhhh idk what else tbh

sideblogs

@last-seen-in-wonderland - pastel/cute aesthetic sideblog. for the art (somewhat inactive)

@gnu-metal - 90s-00s (some exceptions) internet/computers aesthetic. for the gender.. AND THE AUTISM.

tag list :P

blacklistable tags

#blood

#gore

#unsanitary

#body horror

#flashing lights

#eyestrain

#loud

#unreality

#liminal spaces

#fnaf movie - for spoilers

#spto - scott pilgrim anime spoilers

personal tags i guess?

#queue - my queue tag, mehh ill make it a pun at some point

#fave - fave posts tag

#favefavefave - super/ult fave posts tag

#andy rambles - my text post tag

#ask - ask tag

#anon - anon tag (non-anons are tagged by username but tooo many to list here)

#tagged/sent - posts sent to me via dm or that ive been tagged in :3

#racmune art - my art tag

#racmune fics - my fic tag

#commissions - art commissions ive done and posts relating to my commissions

#clips - tag for game clips

#scoutposting - my scout tag :3c

#mongusposting - mongus tag

#friend art - art made by friendsss

#trans scout - tag for scout being trans (i dont use this tag as much anymore)

#ftm stuff - tag for ftm related stuff :P history, art, etc

#rule 63 - genderbend tag

#art inspo - tag 4 my art inspiration

#later - tag 4 posts i want to come back to

#gif - gif tag

#gifset - tag 4 posts with more than one gif... this is not what a gifset is but its what ive been using this tag for oops

#stim - stim tag

#mecore - stuff that is genderful.... "MEEEEE"

#important - important posts (i dont use this as much anymore either)

#bangers - posts w over 100 notes :p

#1k - posts w over 1k notes

#2k - posts w over 2k notes

old dtiys

#racdtiys15

#racdtiys16

fandoms/stuff im into

#the scratched universe

#nope 2022

#emesis blue

#lil pootis

#uramichi oniisan

#danshi koukousei no nichijou

#cool doji danshi

#math

#poetry

#webweave

#john k samson

#mf doom

#re - resident evil

#aphmau

#mlb - miraculous ladybug

#tadc - the amazing digital circus

#paradigm game

#fnaf

#beetlejuice

#brokeback mountain

#i love you phillip morris

#dog day afternoon

#romeos 2011

#portal

#half life

#spiderverse

#the boondocks

#enstars

#hi-fi rush

#legend of zelda

#disco elysium

#scott pilgrim

#brba - breaking bad

#death note

#hbomberguy

#jerma

#rtvs - radio tv solutions

#eftf2 - escape from tf2

#bully game

#dungeon meshi

#sally face

#creepypasta

#thief and the cobbler

#ultrakill

#gay shame

ship tags

#scoutpauling - scout x miss pauling

#heavymedic - heavy x medic

#freedom fries - soldier x spy

#boots n bombs - soldier x demoman

#scoutcest - scout x scout

#flash fire - scout x pyro

#hop scotch - scout x demoman

#heavyscout - heavy x scout

#pyrosoldier - pyro x soldier

#soldierheavy - soldier x heavy

#helmet party - soldier x engineer

#fruit scones - soldier x medic

#american aviators - soldier x sniper

#demopyro - demoman x pyro

#texas toast - engineer x pyro

#pyropauling - pyro x miss pauling

#burn ward - pyro x medic

#bushfire - sniper x pyro

#pyrospy - pyro x spy

#demoheavy - demoman x heavy

#demoengie - demoman x engineer

#jagerbombs - medic x demoman

#sword van - demoman x sniper

#bomb voyage - demoman x spy

#engieheavy - engineer x heavy

#spoovy - spy x heavy

#science party - medic x engineer

#sniperpauling - sniper x miss pauling

#trucks n vans - engineer x sniper

#bushmed - sniper x medic

#napoleon complex - engineer x spy

#medispy - medic x spy

#adminhale - administrator x saxton hale

#zhannascout - zhanna x scout

#soldierzhanna - soldier x zhanna

#scoutmaspy - scouts ma x spy

#zhannapauling - zhanna x miss pauling

#adminsniper - administrator x sniper

#zhannascoutpauling - zhanna x scout x miss pauling

#tf2 deep fried desire - scout x fried chicken lady

#tf2 lady and the tramp - miss pauling x fried chicken lady

#swing and a missfire - scout x miss pauling x pyro

#engiedemoheavy - engineer x demoman x heavy

#soldierdemozhanna - soldier x demoman x zhanna

#masked mechanic - fixer x jumpsuit (the scratched universe)

#fruit punch - foster x p.rick (the scratched universe)

#purplephone - purple guy x phone guy (fnaf)

#scollace - scott x wallace (scott pilgrim)

#toddallace - todd x wallace (scott pilgrim)

#kowalkins - pete kowalski x jimmy hopkins (bully / canis canem edit)

#gabv1el - gabriel x v1 (ultrakill)

^other tags 2 be added but tumblr doesnt let me add any more hyperlinks so sorry abt that 0_o

#andy rambles

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stardewremixed · 2 years

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Dates with the bachelors

Harvey - coffee shop on a Sunday, he brought you flowers in a mason jar. mugs of steaming coffee, organic cranberry muffins, doing the crossword together, enjoying quiet jazz in the background, stealing looks with little blushes, sharing random health facts and news bits and things about the weather, talking about meeting up for a workout sometime and realizing you might need to update your athletic wardrobe, but then remembering this man has seen you in ripped overalls and muddy boots and does not seem to care

Elliott - moonlight beach picnic with wine and fire roasted lobster (only the best for you, dear), rolling up pant legs to dip your toes in the water and playfully splash each other, snuggling with the picnic blanket, reading plays aloud as originally intended, feeding each other chocolates and pomegranate seeds for dessert, nestling your nose in his lovely hair as you lean against his shoulder, he kisses your hand as he shares his affection for you is growing

Sam - trip to rock and roll museum in Zuzu, laughing and holding hands, sharing random trivia about your favorite songs, him kissing you mid-sentence as you talk enthusiastically when he realizes you love the same stuff he does, smiling and folding the collar on his jean jacket and kissing him back as you wrap your arms around his neck, finding the best pizza shop and enjoying a slice while hanging out at the skate park to watch the sunset, realizing you missed the bus back to Stardew Valley, listening to street musicians, grabbing late night donuts from a hole-in-the-wall place (mmm... maple bars)

Sebastian - a semi-awkward dinner at an expensive sushi restaurant in Zuzu, then mutually realizing fancy dressup dinners aren't your thing, motorcycle ride to the overlook, making wishes on shooting stars, talking about his plans to create his own RPG and giving him feedback and ideas as he's excited you're interested, and when it starts to rain, you take shelter in an abandoned cabin, he lights a roaring fire (surprisingly reveals he was a Boy Scout... also his mom is the town carpenter), and you stay up all night talking about game mechanics, worldbuilding, and character creation, and in the morning, as you both prepare to leave after the storm, you stand on your tiptoes in the doorway and kiss him, thanking him for a lovely night.

Alex - meets you at the bus stop with his pickup and he smiles because you teasingly steal his ball cap and wear it backward, and he thinks it looks good on you, driving you to the city while listening to country tunes, windows down, fresh air blowing, singing off key, arriving at a gridball game and enjoying ballpark franks, cold brews, and garlic fries, cheering loudly for your team, impressing him with your pro knowledge, standing between his arms so you don't keep jumping up and annoying the people behind you, feeling his hands squeeze you gently, learning he's actually really great at massage as he's helped George with physical therapy, making out like teenagers in the truck after your team wins, remembering Evelyn packed you homemade cookies for the trip, taking the long route home so you have more time to talk and enjoy each other's company.

Shane - sneaking a couple of sandwiches, pieces of fruit, chips, and colas out of the back of JojaMart, sitting near the dumpsters and he lights a candle from the market to help with the scent, feeding the stray kittens who wander by, noticing how gentle this giant of a man is with the animals, feeling warmth and pride, interrupted by Morris who yells at Shane for breaking the rules, and after he returns inside, you decide to do something that would really irk Shane's boss - you sit on his lap facing him and kiss him passionately, fingers in his hair, legs wrapped around him, and after coming up for air a few minutes later, he asks when he can see you next.

#stardew valley thoughts #sdv headcanon #sdv headcanons #sdv alex #sdv elliott #sdv harvey #sdv sam #sdv sebastian #sdv shane #stardew valley headcanons #stardew valley headcanon

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technovillain · 2 years

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the oleanders: butch, midge, eagle, rock, and morceau.

the names 'midge' 'eagle' and 'rock' are from morry's li-po document backstory. i've always liked to think that everyone in his family is also significantly taller than him, and that his brothers are older than him. rock is the oldest son and is set to take over the butcher business. eagle is all-american: a boy scout, top of his class at his military school, respectful and cold. his brothers grow up very quickly and end up just as big as their father. midge is the only one who is ever really there for morry as a kid.

#i love this messed up family #oleander is probably the best character from the first game and everybody is sleeping on him fr #morceau oleander #coach oleander #psychonauts #psychonauts 2 #canon oc #kiwidoodles

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butleroftoast · 7 months

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Word Association Headcanon (Pt. 2)

When Morris travels with an adventuring group, the rats often prefer remaining at home, despite the unease this gives him. When they do join him, however, their occasional use does not outweigh the problems they cause. Although they can move largely unseen, Morris's companions don't tend to enjoy having a camp full of rats, especially when they start investigating supplies. As for staying at an inn, well - let's just say the owners aren't best pleased with their sudden mysterious pest problem.

Most people Morris travels with can't tell the difference between the individual rats following him. The very few people who've travelled with him multiple times can usually pick them out by context - that is, they assume that if Morris is having an extended conversation with them, he's probably talking to the leader of the colony - but no one as yet would be able to select Fishstinky out of a lineup or, for that matter, tell you his name. Morris guards it as closely as he does his own first name.

Two other prominent rats are Watermould, a scout who has put up a good-natured challenge for leadership once or twice, and Saltyboots, a burly rat most often seen defending their territory. Watermould picked up his scent-name exploring the hulls of ships, and Saltyboots from scurrying around the docks and tavern floors over sailors' feet.

Currently (/pre-BG3), their territory is a network of tunnels through walls, cellars, sewers, and brushing against the Undercity. Morris finds a relatively dry spot in the upper levels of the sewers and sets up a bedroll beside an entrance hole. This allows him to have forewarning of anyone who might disturb them, and allows the rats to join him or hide down below as they please. If he manages to stay there long enough without being caught, he might add some canvas, extra blankets, and wooden crates. You know, to make the sewers more homely.

(Eventually Morris befriends - or learns to tolerate - the Marquis Skullduggan, a noble who will eventually get a background post of their own. They allow Morris to stay in an old barn on one of their family's vineyards, and in exchange he keeps the rats away from their prize fruit. It's an arrangement which seems to work for everyone, at least until Morris disappears and leaves the rats unchecked.)

Much as he cares for the rats, Morris's secret, embarrassing wish is to be able to fly in wildshape. A spell or scroll of Flight just isn't the same as being borne aloft by the power of your own body. It feels childish, petty, and silly, but he can't shake the desire.

(Even at later levels, when he learns a bird wildshape - that of a scarlet macaw, which overtakes even ratshape in his favour - he continues to struggle with flight. It only seems to come to him under duress, and very rarely does he manage to fly purely for the thrill of it. The first time he manages to fly as a bird, it's after a chase off a cliff - long story - and although he gets himself most of the way down safely, he loses control of it towards the end, drops wildshape, and lands with a thump in the dirt.)

He is also more of a cat person than a dog person. One of the few ways he does follow expectations for a druid is in respecting all creatures, so he doesn't dislike dogs at all, and will help them when he can without hurting the rat pack.

The preference for cats is probably inspired by the terriers the other ratcatchers use, most of whom don't like him. That is, the terriers don't like him, because he chases them away from their quarry and argues with them. The actual ratcatchers still remember Morris from the old days and are mostly amiable towards him, if a little baffled by his choices and the antipathy they receive from him when they cross paths. Ratcatchers understand rats more than anybody else, it's a necessity of the job, and some of them even appreciate their complex social hierarchies and intelligence - but they also recognise what a threat they pose, especially to the poorest and the weakest in society, as they destroy food supplies and spread disease. Common opinion is that Morris's work with poisons has turned him a bit strange in the head.

Back to the subject of wildshaping, Morris is not naturally free with his abilities. It's probably related to his rigid control of his emotions. Some druids will change in line with their emotions: when they're angry, when they're excited, and so on. Apparently it's a much freer, more enjoyable experience than making a conscious decision to wildshape, if occasionally inconvenient. This has never happened to Morris. He's skeptical about it even being true. The druid circle probably made it up to tease him.

(Later he learns that he was wrong. Once, just once, during a rare happy period of his life, after a certain someone has taught him to be more in tune with his own emotions and self, he's playing with the rats and it happens: out of nowhere, ratshape, not even caring, pure joy, running after them, tumbling with them, playing on their level, human concerns totally forgotten as he chases down a hole after them. The person who was with him at the time only smiles and goes back to his pipe.)

#my flight got delayed so I am back with more interminable morris #druid pol morris

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thatgordongirl · 10 months

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Colour Symbolism: Patrick Butcher

Reminder this is highly speculative and it’s probably just me overanalysing clothes. Don’t take it too seriously if you don’t want to

Other than being just a regular Scout Master uniform, it tells you what kind of person Pat is from the beginning. The persona is presented as positive and uplifting as he’s meant to be the supportive one of the group. What I think is a consistent thing with the ghosts is their clothing being somewhat deceptive, as in it displays a part of their character that masks a whole other part. Though this presentation of Pat isn’t necessarily false, it masks the fact that he can’t work through his own emotional damage. His persona of comforting others makes him seem more sure in himself than he is.

Beige, his preferred kind of brown, is considered basic by most people, like Captain, he has a relatively consistent colour across all articles of clothing. It is somewhat structured and plain, which could relate to his routine and issues in his relationship with Carol. However, he is unaware of the issues it poses to others, and thus he embraces the use of beige, he embraces structure. Brown is commonly used to signify dullness and predictability. Brown is a neutral, which suits Pat’s mediation skills. It is a resilient colour, which applies more to others than it does to Pat. It takes someone else to make Pat recover, such as Robin.

They are both dressed brown, where Robin is grounded, Pat is dependable. Brown is an isolated colour, which highlights how Pat feels about being separated from his family. He’s used to being in large groups. Brown’s natural compliment is blue, which is the same colour as the arrow in his neck. His death decidedly compliments his persona, a brown scout uniform and a blue arrow. Alright, let’s have a look at some of his life looks:

(Pardon the 80s quality and general badness) Pat wears some lovely looking sweaters around Christmas and in general. It’s not exactly an uncommon thing, but in relation to Pat it further emphasises his warm and inviting nature. It also highlights his organisation as his clothes are complimentary, reds, blues and whites. Pat’s role as a family man is very significant to him, and he presents himself as such. Pat’s more darker clothes are only seen at home, now he probably did wear them outside, but it would be interesting to consider he only showed his doubts or anxieties to his family in the form of darker tones.

Now a little surprise, let’s have a look at Carol and Daley:

Before Pat’s death, she wears rather dark colours which I assume to be green, brown or black. They not only match Pat, but signify their connection. Carol is spreading to agree with Pat on his structure, but her clothes are darker than his generally are, showing they have a significant difference. Considering her affair with Morris, it may have been her being somewhat unhappy.

After Pat’s death, Carol is seen wearing lighter colours, particularly pink. She’s also less frustrated by Daley getting the camera out, probably because it reminds her of Pat. She’s most likely partially reconciled with herself by this point, four years on from Pat, and perhaps already moving forward with Morris. As such, she wears brighter and happier colours.

(I’m assuming it’s Daley in the second one, but I could be wrong and I don’t have the episode downloaded) Daley’s outfit also compliment Pat’s, incorporating brown and yellow, whilst also having darker green and brown like Carol. He has both of their qualities, being able to be positive whilst also acknowledging the faults. Daley is well-rounded, Pat did a good job.

After Pat dies, Daley begins to emulate him. Daley wears a sweater reminiscent of Pat’s, darker yet with colourful elements. It is clear he begins taking on more of his father’s traits after his passing, especially when he continues the Christmas tradition. It is no wonder he named his son Patrick.

#bbc ghosts #pat butcher #robin bbc ghosts #carol butcher #daley butcher

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deathsbestgirl · 1 year

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conduit

kicking this off with scully in blevins’ office – because it kinda makes me want to die. after all the progress they’ve made their first few cases. mulder chose to be vulnerable with scully in the pilot after her own vulnerability (something i think it’s clear she doesn’t like to show from the moment they met, not necessarily in an obvious way but i think he was already observing her & could pick up on it) then the second episode, all their banter & teasing and what she did to get him back from ellens air base. *and then squeeze* when she decided working with him on the x files was the better option. where she got more of an idea about the way others tend to treat mulder. there was so much reflection in squeeze for scully. and the way she called him after colton stopped the stakeout (when mulder called her in the pilot, she put up a boundary, seeming a bit uncomfortable with the familiarity & her investment? or maybe that she was okay with him calling her late at night lol) now she’s in blevins’ office, being asked about mulder, his sister & his judgment.

it’s very interesting to me that blevins’ has to tell her she doesn’t need to protect mulder; he opened the file himself. so she gives him what she knows and it isn’t a surprise to blevins. but he’s clear that he thinks mulder’s judgment about the case, especially given his 302, that he’s not thinking clearly. scully thinks it’s odd but she asks to talk to mulder & give a recommendation before blevins just denies it.

it’s also funny to me because blevins seems concerned about mulder/his choices – how does scully read his concern. strictly professional?

as you know, agent mulder’s preoccupation with fringe matters has been a big source of friction in the bureau. this is another case in point. i’m going to disallow the 302.

with respect, sir, at least let me talk with him and make a recommendation.

(scully plays both sides so well here. she doesn’t want to pass judgment on mulder before even learning about the case and why he chose it.)

and so…down in their basement office, she starts asking him questions. but in typical mulder fashion he takes forever to get to what would actually convince her.

this is the essence of science. you ask an impertinent question and you’re on your way to a pertinent answer.

i just love this line lol like get to the point sir!! (did he think science would convince her lmao)

anyway, the tabloid, lake okobogee & the ufo sightings and finally he gets to the part where a girl scout troop had a sighting in whatever year, corroborated by the den mother & a photo. and one of those people was darlene morris. (later we learn about the pilot who saw something in the sky at the same time too) and somehow that convinces scully – which i find hilarious because like. it’s definitely about his sister, and it’s still about aliens in his mind. it isn't what she thinks but she goes along with him, to find out what’s really happening. because, yes that can seem strange with what else mulder tells her, but it’s still funny to me that she agrees. i think she just wants to help him, and this is a way she can. and she somehow must convince blevins that it isn’t a waste of time & that mulder’s sister isn’t interfering and i just wish we got to see it. because genuinely, how?

these scenes with darlene are ~a lot~ and scully just ~observes mulder. that’s the whole episode. when darlene offers them coffee, scully goes to follow her but realizes mulder isn’t tagging along like he should be. and that’s when she sees him, looking at all the family pictures – stuck on one of ruby as a little girl. gently touching it & his pain is obvious. the way she clenches her jaw, just slightly, and swallows – what’s she worrying about here? about the way he still suffers, his judgment on the case? Both…

(scully can’t stand to see people in pain. i wonder if that’s one of the reasons she first went into medicine. how did she end up in pathology? what drew her there, to speak for the dead and bring them peace? team scully believes in ghosts lol – but later on, post original series, when she’s practicing again, she doesn’t stick with pathology, she’s working in a hospital mostly with very sick children. it seems to me, there are events in her life that drive her professional choices. which is why i’m so curious about this. i don’t think it’s something addressed in the series directly. but in orison, we learn about how her sunday school teacher was murdered. i think that seems like a pretty good motivator, but i feel there’s more that just one incident – specifically something a bit closer, more personal.)

scully, always the one to pursue the more typical avenues, asks darlene about her ex, which she denies the idea of him being responsible. because she “knows what happened”

“they took her, didn’t they, mr. mulder?” darlene believes it’s aliens too…i love the way they don’t ~say~ it lol

and this bit, while mulder is talking to kevin, with just scully & darlene kinda hurts my heart. for both of them.

i’ve told this story so many times now…oh, to the newspapers, and the police…and every time i tell it, people get this look in their eye. just like the look that you’ve got right now.

scully doesn’t believe what they believe, and i imagine she kind of agrees with the local law enforcement perception – something terrible happened that’s difficult to face or understand, and somehow this fantastic story about aliens is easier. but really, that isn’t easier. because what can be done if it’s aliens? if it’s something more typical (though still terrible), investigation could help. they could find ruby…find samantha. but nothing has helped either of them.

literally but i can’t help but think it’s hard for her to face people who believe when she doesn’t, and their pain & struggle is so obvious. i wonder if this is the first time she starts questioning if she’s a good fit for the x files, a good partner to/for mulder. i don’t think she’s proud of being used to undermine another agent, whatever she thinks of his theories. and of course scully has a hard time believing this abduction/missing girl is the work of aliens, it doesn’t fit with anything she knows about the world or science – but with this case, it seems to me like she feels kind of guilty for not believing. not believing darlene…and mulder.

OKAY SO KEVIN. i love kids in this show – they’re so good at being creepy. even when they are just innocent kids, there’s usually a creepy edge to the characters or circumstances and they’re just incredible little actors already (are they into acting or do they like playing pretend lol). he’s just writing a bunch of ones & zeroes, not really interested in talking to mulder, but accepts his presence easily enough. when mulder asks, kevin tells him that it’s coming from the tv, the white noise.

one thing that makes me kind of crazy, cuz i’m bad with names & faces of white men in particular – do we ever see danny? because mulder seems to have a decent working relationship with the guy. (like there’s chuck, but he’s into the spooky stuff too.) like yes mulder bribes him a little to get it done quicker but he didn’t seem antagonistic like the guys in squeeze who asked for his damn help, or hotlzman & his men. anyway, he’s looking into the code kevin was writing.

i love the way mulder is just ~not having it~ with the local law enforcement.

criticizing her choices, something ‘she’s no prom queen’ ?? victim blaming gross misogyny / assuming she’s just a bad kid? instead of someone struggling, and she’s MISSING.

it’ was just a matter of time before…

before what?

before something bad happened to her.

and then something about ‘if darlene needs to make up crazy stories to get past that, fine. But don’t ask me to treat it as the truth.’

i’m surprised scully doesn’t get more frustrated by this behavior. is this part of her working in a man’s world, bad writing, or something else?

then when they leave i swear scully says something she’s had to say more than once about not antagonizing local law enforcement cuz they might need their help one day and it think its hilarious. and mulder says “who me? i’m mister congeniality…i’ll send him a bundt cake” – cracks me up, cuz really he is but people are assholes.

case stuff happens. they learn a little about ruby – pregnant, boyfriend, no real friends. but what i care about is the way scully is so gentle with people. the girl seems scared & worried, and she responds with compassion while still doing her job. and they go to find out more about greg randall – and i just love these big tattooed guys who idk, i guess i’d expect to bristle at authority & not answer their questions, but he just answers their questions.

hey, that’s a nice tattoo. what is that?

what’s it look like?

a flying saucer. you don’t really believe in that stuff do you?

i take it you don’t.

no, i think it’s all a bunch of crazy people howling at the moon. [the way scully is looking at him – this is how he understands people think of him]

so you haven’t been out to lake okobogee, have you?

no i haven’t. why?

you should ride with us some time. you might see some things that will change your mind. *~*he shows them his ear, burned & disfigured*~* get a killer sunburn in the middle of the night.

[scully, always observing her partner.]

these nsa guys, literally what the fuck are they doing?! like the absolute disrespect?? i get that to them that it’s pressing & distressing but how is it protocol to completely disrespect agents of other agencies? the invasiveness, the seeming threat they pose to a woman *sleeping* alone in a motel, even if she’s a trained field agent, is fucking insane. (and while they’re working on an abduction case, hackles rising.)

and idk, you’re telling me they couldn’t just get the right room? bullshit.

unless they tell me otherwise, i’m not accountable to anybody outside my subcommittee. i don’t care if it’s nsa or the vatican police.”

(just love that line)

and so he gets a little information from them, but he can’t really tell them where it came from. it came from a CHILD and he doesn’t have any information about ~how anyway. i don’t think they’d take kindly to ‘well he got it from the tv.’ but i guess scully tells them?

and mulder gets properly pissed at scully. why she told them anything, i don’t really understand. it seems against her morals, but i suppose this is early on and she still has respect for the government & their agencies. and idk, maybe she doesn’t think kevin is the threat but a risk & at risk if he somehow has that information. and i really hope she didn’t think they’d handle it the way they did?? one of the few things scully does that really bothers me.

i come on. how can an 8 year old boy who can barely multiply be a threat to national security? people call me paranoid.

and so they go to darlene & kevin’s home and witness them being dragged out of the house, put into *separate* cars. fucking inappropriate. literally what the fuck?! that is a LITTLE BOY. how dare they take him from his mother. i refuse to believe that’s proper protocol either.

the way mulder picks up the broken piggy bank 🥺 and scully just looks so damn solemn & sullen. (like yes honey, you helped them do this.) and again, scully observing mulder. he notices the camper outside and goes to check out the roof of it. for once, this actually seems like an investigative thing and i love that. this is her first field assignment, sure i’m she learned a lot at the academy, but it’s very different to actually do it. i love that he’s the one who really teaches her, even if it isn’t explicit. she just learns by working with him.

back & forth with agent atsumi about the case and the code. pieces of a bunch of different things. honestly this scene is oddly entertaining lol i understand nothing. like they got all this from a bunch of zeroes & ones? but the last bit of their conversation:

but they’re just fragments. a few notes here, a few notes there, some lines from the quran, a shakespearean sonnet…

almost like switching the channels, huh?

(the quran bit has me itching – mytharc later on biogenisis, the sixth extinction and amor fati. Idk if this tiny piece here was at all intentional to connect in the later episodes, not when this was written but when they wrote the later episodes. i love when they manage to weave a few things for continuity.)

literally the look scully gives him. i love her. how does she not question every single thing he says. i just want him to say more! it’s funny. (although this is not one of the episodes i laugh through.)

god they see darlene & kevin leaving and she is properly pissed. as she should be. but she’s blaming them and i totally get it (scully deserves it a lot more than mulder) but it’s still hard to watch. because they both want so much to help darlene & her family, and now darlene’s belief/trust in that is gone.

but for mulder, it’s personal. and the pain in his eyes & expression — i could cry.

(kevin staring at the security footage. what does *he* see? // was there something i didn’t notice?)

i thought we were headed back into town? …where are we going?

the boy’s the key scully. i know it.

the key to what?

finding ruby. just think about it for a minute. this is a boy who is receiving all kinds of digitized data from a television screen.

agent atsumi said it was a statistical aberration…

no.

okay i admit it’s not much of an explanation, but…

i think that kevin is a conduit of some kind.

a conduit.

a link or connection to whoever, or whatever, took ruby that night.

but how?

if there was an abduction, it’s likely that kevin was touched in some way.

mulder, i know what you’re thinking…i know why this is so important to you. i know. but there is no evidence indicating an abduction.

that’s why we’re going to lake okobogee.

~the scully squat~

i love this scene. because in any other world, scully would be right. they were out in the open next to a lake in the middle of the forest. anyone looking to kidnap someone, this would be a great place. but it’s the x files. and mulder has all this random knowledge because of his obsession, that even her scientist mind doesn’t know. (re: the sand solidifying to glass & the burned tree tops)

and when she sees the wolf and he runs into the forest…scully running after him but he’s taller with longer legs and not in heels so she just hears the gunshot before she catches up. i imagine that’s a scary sound.

mulder what are you doing? …mulder, you are disturbing a crime scene…stop!

what if it’s her? i need to know…i need to know

[her eyes flickering all over his face, to his lips. she just accepts it.]

as the crime scene is being handled, they stand watching – and scully watches mulder, asks if he’s okay. “-m fine” – god he looks so despondent, dissociated…is he the one to start this “i’m fine” nonsense. scully knows he isn’t okay, but she asks to let him know she’s there, he doesn’t have to carry it alone anymore. (gosh they’re maddening. this “fine” nonsense when it’s clear they aren’t – they build it into their foundation, because it’s a small defense mechanism for both of them. a way to guard their hearts and protect their pain & vulnerability. but they don’t realize how it will carry through their relationship and eventually hurt them more than it protects.)

they find a note in greg randall’s wallet and compare the writing to the note left on their car; it matches. they find the girl, tessa. (was that detective or chief or whatever his title is not even going to look through the rest of the wallet??)

(mulder does not lean on scully during this case and so she does her best to be solid & always in his periphery. to let him know she’s there for what he needs, letting him know she understands this is difficult for him, and she’s not judging him – she doesn’t force it and respects his boundaries. this is different than the pilot. this time, his grief is raw, but in the pilot he had some distance because the case allowed for it. he was able to separate his experience & emotions from the case & the conspiracy. but this one is too close.)

oh god. the way he changes while they interrogate tessa – it seems like he believes now that she did murder ruby. Scully is so surprised by the change. the way she jumps a little when he hits the table the second time (i wonder if she doesn’t like his tactic here. because she was still being kind to tessa, though she definitely believes she killed both greg & ruby. she expressly tells tessa what kind of trouble she’s in, but her voice is calm & steady. still gentle, but with an edge. and mulder goes at tessa hard. she’s still just a teenager.

the scene outside…

they don’t want to have anything to do with us…mulder, stop. stop running after your sister…this won’t bring her back

come with me or don’t come with me, but until they find a body, i’m not giving up on that girl.

scully is always going to follow him but she still always tries to appeal to him. but she really gets some insight here. he doesn’t know how to give up and he can’t give up on his sister. he doesn’t know how to go on with his life without answers. mulder holds his pain in every fiber of his being, he holds his love in every fiber of his being. and his work is how he uses those things to find the answer, maybe one day get peace, to help others suffering in a similar way he is or the way he thinks his sister is/was.

the door is open when they get to the morris residence. when they go in, scully heads to the kitchen where she finds a teapot boiling on the stove – so clearly they left in a rush / something happened…in the living room mulder is staring at kevin’s work. sheets and sheets filled with zeroes and ones, all laid out on the floor.

scully goes to check upstairs and then she sees it – tells mulder to come up and look.

-look. it’s her, it’s ruby.

this drive to lake okobogee – this time mulder really does open up. i think he finally needed to talk and he wants to believe scully is there for him. But i think this is the most honest and private thing he could have chosen to tell her. In the pilot he told her about his sister & the regression because ~she needed to know~ it wasn’t as personal as THIS. It was personal, but for professional too. he spent their first case only giving her crumbs, what he felt she needed to know / deserved to know. until she got pissed at him, until she showed her own vulnerability, until she proved she believed something was happening (even if she didn’t fully believe him).

you know when i was a kid, i had this ritual. i’d close my eyes before i walked into my room because i thought that, one day, when i opened them, my sister would be there, just lying in bed, like nothing ever happened. you know, i’m still walking into that room…every day of my life.

[scully just listens to him but i think that’s exactly what he needed – nobody ever listens to him. for him, it’s a gift. and for scully, it’s one of her shining strengths. it lends well to her empathy & kindness]

they find darlene’s camper right after that. scully spots a trail and they hear darlene yell. When they find her, she’s fallen and kevin isn’t with her. scully sends mulder ahead and stays with darlene – she’s always doing that. for him, or for her, or for the people they come across? in my mind, some of all three. to let him see/find what’s out there, to avoid seeing/finding what’s out there, to help the person who needs immediate attention.

the way mulder protects kevin as the bikers go by is so fucking pure & instinctual. the way he speaks so gently & honestly with him. it really gets me because i know it’s what he wished he experienced when he was a kid. but the only time he’s experienced anything like that (truly anyway) is with scully. (here we see his doubt for the first time, that he might be chasing ghosts and it’s painful.) as he’s telling kevin he doesn’t think ruby is coming back, we hear scully scream mulder’s name and he takes off running with kevin.

this part makes me mad lol scully says ruby is alive but unconscious but they have her doing cpr?? absurd

i love when mulder asks science/medical questions – because he doesn’t know this kind of science but he has all the little facts about alien abductions & ufos & nasa/astronauts stored away in his brain and scully is always surprised & mildly impressed. (and so ruby is displaying the same symptoms astronauts have after being in space)

mulder doesn’t get what he hopes from ruby because darlene puts a stop to it. which visibly upsets kevin, who tried to reassure ruby that mulder knows. but darlene knows how people treat you when you talk about things like aliens & ufos & abductions and she wants to protect her daughter from experiencing what she did. mulder tries so hard to convince her that suppressing it won’t help ruby, but darlene’s mind is made up. scully has to put her hand on his shoulder to stop him continuing – another touch when mulder is feeling distressed. darlene taking the same vow of silence his parents did is extraordinarily painful for him. his empathy for kevin & ruby is so extreme in this moment.

and now for the real pain: scully is listening to his regression tapes, while mulder is sobbing in a church. the fact that she chooses to listen to the tapes feels monumental for their relationship. she doesn’t believe what he believes, but she wants to understand him. he sounds so young – and it is david’s voice right? it’s the same but so different and god i love when actors can change their voice like that.

as she listens, scully looks over the file. hse looks at the photo of samantha, then a photo of mulder & samantha. they were just kids when this happened.

david is so fucking good. the unbridled pain & grief, mulder is so lost. he sits in a church, looking for comfort, still hoping for answers. but he has no idea how to get either of those things.

“i want to believe.” – mulder has said he has the same doubts as scully, but this is the first real confirmation we get of it. he was telling kevin he didn’t think ruby was coming back. he showed his hand to kevin, but he didn’t show scully. he kept pushing what he wanted to believe – which for this case was that ruby would be returned, and for himself, that one day samantha would return unharmed. as he was supposedly told by the beings that took her. but keeping that belief after all these years has been incredibly difficult and he didn’t want kevin to suffer the same way. but they got lucky this time and ruby was returned.

this scene was really so much. the juxtaposition of scully in the office listening to his regression, and mulder sitting with his pain in a church. so good, so painful.

#the x files #mulder and scully #dana scully #fox mulder #txf txt #conduit #idk why this is so long #but it is actually one of my favorites #like second/third tier favorite

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