I gave myself a writing challenge and I am fascinated by it
So basically I put the robins in a randomizer to give them a new order/role (because I just...kinda wanted to see what would happen + I like role-reversal AUs) and got results that are giving me a fucking brain blast.
Stephanie, the first sidekick who defines the role
Tim, the sidekick who dies and comes back wrong
Dick, the sidekick who saves Batman from himself
Damian, the sidekick who was never supposed to be a sidekick but would go on to prove everyone wrong
Jason, the youngest sidekick who is still the Kid Wonder
...So this is fucking wild. I've got some ideas and several of these fit perfectly (Dick's role is pretty similar to his one in canon), but some of these are fucking INCREDIBLE to explore (Steph being the first Robin is something I never even considered but tbh I kinda love it).
I probably won't write a fic or anything because tbh I don't like publishing my writing that much, but I might expand this into a full AU and post about it. I might randomize other stuff too (ie, stuff that I cannot change vs stuff that I cannot keep the same) but this fucking rules as a starting point.
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(Somewhere in 2012 New York, in the tank)
Mikey, probably: Why does Casey call you babygirl?
Donnie: Let’s stop talking for a while
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aleksa's old dating profile.....
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Sometimes I feel that Barnaby and Wally have this friendship like big bro/Lil bro, and Howdy being Barnabys bf has to put up with a lot of Wallys shenanigans for Barnaby (doesn't mind cause he also adores Wally I'm a big bro way)
i view them (as a trio) Similarly! though a little to the Left cause i don't view Barnaby & Wally's relationship as big/lil bro. rn to me they're very close friends - borderline queerplatonic! like... Wally is Barnaby's special little guy, yk?
so in my mind, in this trio, Wally's not exactly a. uh. third wheel to Barnaby/Howdy i suppose? oh this is difficult to translate into words - he's part of the relationship without being Part of it if that makes any sense? like of course he's gonna be With them a lot. Barnaby's not gonna be like "ok go do something else so i can make doe eyes at Howdy". that's his Little Buddy. they're gonna Include him as much as possible, i'd imagine. and i doubt Wally would mind being around while they flirt chat. he'd probably love being Barnaby's "wingman"
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Another Grant headcanon:
I think he wrote love notes when in relationships, and he went all out with like making the paper scented and stuff. But like he had no good perfume so he ended up using his horrible body spray. So like the lucky boyfriend would like find a paper reeking of the body spray like every once in a while.
Also I think he was someone who fell deep into romance because having a crush and feeling butterflies in his stomach was better than numbness. So he would pursue every crush even if he knew it would not end well because of the thrill of it. I think this sucked but I think he atleast felt like this is a normal way for life to suck.
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Obey Me! Scenario : When Insults Backfire
! Trigger Warning ! - mild suggestion of verbal degradation/degradation kink
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*MC compliments Solomon in front of Barbatos*
Barbatos : You are simply hopeless, aren’t you?
MC : What did you just call me?
Barbatos : Though I suppose I can't expect much more from a naïve human.
MC : Hopeless? Naïve? Hehehe....
Solomon : You really shouldn’t insult my adorable apprentice like that, Barbatos.
MC : Well now, let’s not get ahead of ourselves-
Barbatos : Shall I insult you instead then? Imbecile.
MC : I beg to differ. Solomon is far from being an imbecile.
Barbatos : *looks at Solomon* It appears your apprentice isn’t very bright either. Why else would they choose to defend someone like you?
MC : He’s a wonderful teacher and an amazing friend, I trust him implicitly.
Barbatos : How foolishly misguided…
MC : Thank you
Barbatos : Quite dense, too.
MC : Aww, you’re too kind
Barbatos : It appears I have two imbeciles on my hands.
MC : Say it again. What am I?
Barbatos : I believe I just called you an imbecile.
MC : Elaborate.
Solomon : That's not necessary-
Barbatos : A moron.
MC : Hmm...
Barbatos : Dolt.
MC : Ohhh...
Barbatos : Simpleton.
MC : Ahhh...
Barbatos : Idiot. Or are you just too dim-witted to understand?
MC : Yes, keep going. More. Please degrade me more~
Barbatos : ….
Solomon : ….
Barbatos : I’ve changed my mind. I believe “pervert” is a much more fitting way to describe you.
MC : Mmmm, yessss~
Solomon : I really need to keep you away from Asmodeus…
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Wife and i finally picked out a wedding venue! and it’s at one of my favorite county parks!
Special shoutout to Ken, the park ranger/event organizer who could not be ARSED about making money for the county and gave us all the money-saving tips
and whose comment “i don’t like a lot of people… you guys look like you don’t either” i will be thinking about fondly for weeks to come
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Did I develop romantic feelings for Snotlout on my birthday because of a dream I had about him,,,,yes yes I did
He was just so cuddly and safe
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I was just reminded of how much I shipped Veronica and Weevil back in the day, pls tell me it wasn't just me
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Rating how likely Ash's companions are to date him
Starting from the beginning
Misty 5/10 I think theyd date for like a month straight except Ash would not realize any of their excursions were dates nor would he know they are dating. He'd only find out via her kissing him after like the 5th date and then there'd be this big embarrassing revelation, and the two would immediately choose to pretend none of this had ever happened.
Brock 0/10 he is a whole 5 years older and strictly into women
Tracey 0/10 approximately 5 years older than Ash and therefore he'd never consider it but i do think hes bisexual and i just need to put that out there.
May 0/10 they are SO siblings core you cannot convince me otherwise. I will fight you if you say otherwise.
Max 2/10 Max would have one of those cute younger kid crushes on Ash if not for the fact that Max is too smart for that
Dawn 7/10 its very obvious to everyone around them that they are dating and actively so. But both of them think this is normal friend behavior. But eventually Dawn realizes shes just been using him cuz of her own comphet and shes actually a lesbian. He didnt even notice tho so honestly its fine. They have a conversation about it and the phrase "no need to worry" gets used no less than 3 times
Iris -12/10 the mere idea of going on a date with Ash would make her vomit
Cilan 0/10 hes even older than brock
Serena 4/10 like she obvi has that crush on him so she wants to date him. However I think she'd be way more clear in asking him out. And would probs not count any potentially datelike excursions as dating cuz she wants him to be 100% aware and into her too. Unfortunately for her this will never happen cuz hes gay.
Clemont 10/10 Ash had a huge crush on him and Clemont enjoys the attention
Bonnie -5/10 i think she would also be sick at the idea of dating Ash, regardless of age
I actually havent seen most of the alola stuff but imo they are all very found family no one would date ash
Goh 9/10 he is literally in love with ash
Chloe 0/10 maybe a 2 if you count all the times she undoubtedly winds up thirdwheeling ash and goh
BONUS
Verity 0/10 ash is gay and i think she'd pick up on that
Sorrel 7/10 his whole thing is he wants to be a prof and study legendaries and like lets be real that puts him Right in Ash's path and i think itd be a cute ongoing development in that timeline
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my hot twst take is that not a single housewarden would be a good boyfriend and i stand by it
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PART 20
of the dfk 2023 audiobook translation
@cnka
Narrator (audiobook):
Robert puts another piece of wood on the trunk and swings the axe.
Bökh: „And you never wanted to get in touch?"
The Nichtraucher picks up a piece of wood.
Silence.
Nichtraucher: „Why should I? We didn’t see each other for the past ten years either.“
He rips the piece of wood apart with his bare hands. While holding eye contact with Justus.
Silence.
Justus lowers his head.
Jo: „Uh.. weren’t you-"
Martina, quietly: „Jo, leave it. Lets go.“
Martina, louder: „We need to go! We still have something to do.“
The kids leave. Jo and Martina are holding hands as they walk away.
Bökh: „Yeah… Thank you, kids.“
Jo, whispering as they walk away: "What was that just now?!"
Robert picks up the chopped wood and walks back to his wagon. Justus looks after him.
Narrator (audiobook):
If the two friends will find back together? Matze isn’t so sure of that.
Matze, sarcastically: „Well, that was a great success!“
Jo: „Yeah, so much for friendship between Internals and Externs.“
Narrator (audiobook):
At least Robert granted Herr Bökh access to his wagon. He looks around lost in thought more or less, while Robert washes the dishes.
Dishes clatter. There is silence otherwise.
Justus stares wistfully at Robert while he washes the dishes.
Justus takes his eyes off Robert and starts looking around while Robert continues to ignore him.
Bökh: „I thought you were living in London.“
Nichtraucher: (silence)
Bökh: „It's nice here.“
Nichtraucher: (silence)
Justus starts walking around.
Bökh: „I told the kids about our friendship.“
Nichtraucher: „As a cautionary tale?“
Bökh: (chuckles/scoffs) „No. Of course not.“
Narrator (audiobook):
Bökh spots the poster of „the Bandits“, the same one hanging in his apartment.
Bökh: „The 'Wild Dog' that we always played in is still there.“
Nichtraucher: (silence)
Bökh: „Should we meet there sometime? For a beer?“
Robert looks up.
He lets out a small huff, almost like an incredulous laugh or a scoff.
He dries his hands on a towel and folds it.
Nichtraucher: (silence)
Nichtraucher: „I don’t know what we would have to say to each other.“
Bökh: „Hm. Well. A lot of time has passed.“
Narrator (audiobook):
Robert sits down at the table and lights himself a cigarette.
Justus turns as well and starts looking around again.
Nichtraucher: „Why didn’t you come to Marie’s funeral back then?“
Nichtraucher: „You didn’t even get in touch.“
[„You didn't even get in touch“ -> parallels to „And you never wanted to get in touch?“]
Justus is silent. He starts fiddling with his jacket and pulls it off his shoulder. He lets out a deep, shaky sigh and is silent for another few moments.
Bökh: „…I don’t know, you met her and… and suddenly you were gone.“
[Parallels to „suddenly your closest loved ones are gone“]
Bökh: „As if everything -our friendship, the band- as if that had all just been a dream.“
Justus turns around and looks at Robert.
Bökh: „Wir zwei. Wir hatten doch Pläne.“
Bökh: „That really hurt me.“
Nichtraucher: „It hurt you.“
Silence. Just the music.
Bökh: „Yes. Very much back then.“
The Nichtraucher lets out a soft incredulous laugh again, almost like a scoff.
Nichtraucher: „I see.“
Long silence. Justus stares out the window. Finally, he turns and walks to the door.
Bökh: „You know where to find me.“
Justus leaves the wagon. Robert nods to himself silently.
Narrator (audiobook):
And with these words, Herr Bökh leaves his friend’s train wagon. If the two will ever see each other again?
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What are your reasons not to date the dino man X Drake?
>.>
ACAB. If he's legally untouchable, he's morally unfuckable.
Okay, okay, no reality in my roast-fest, let's start again.
I hate to be shallow, but it's the chin. I can't do it. I can't ignore it. There's a Big Freakin' X right in the middle of it, and I can't even look away from that to his chest because he's GOT ANOTHER ONE THERE.
Look, sure, X marks the spot, but at this rate I'm going to have to sharpie my slit to help this guy find his way and I don't know that I'm that committed. He might have one of the hottest devil fruits in all the seas (especially if you're into a little non-conventional monster romping), but I don't know what's worse -
His hat, or the cock comb he calls hair that stands straight up the second he takes that hat off. And I can't blame him for the hat, it's the only thing I notice before that chin.
Chin so godsdamn powerful its still one of his most defining features when he's HALF FUCKING DINOSAUR.
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So you’re telling me Abel has a Moonshine and Strip Poker Friday night, that Sam was nowhere to be found after that same night because he was “busy doing patrols for the Phantom of Abel” which was debunked btw, even if everyone in Abel KNOWS to search the comms shack first try if they needed Sam Yao the Radio Operator???
And that this is the same night Runner Five—who is literally born ready according to Sara—woke up from so underprepared that they wore their shirt inside out in a rush to go out on this mission??? This is literally the first time Runner Five showed some type of flaw and it’s their shirt being inside out which only means they took it off the night prior . And picked it up again bc it’s most likely the closest (probably on the floor) . Bc OTHERWISE any person would just search the drawers for something else
“Oh but neeks this can just be pure coincidence!!! Your shippy brain is reading too much into it!!” Okay maybe but listen . LISTEN . It COULD be just a coincidence and i COULD just be full on delusional but you know what validates this theory??? Yeah??? Here you go:
Sam noticeably gets more protective of Runner Five in the next few episodes—hell, in this same one, he kinda scolds Jamie and Isabel for going on a mission to “indulge their obsessive love for a Kid’s TV show and risking Runner Five’s life”; even if he eventually adds on Jamie’s life, the pause made me think it was some sort of a follow-up or afterthought
Then in the next mission, Sam goes out of his way to reassure Five before they do their part with the gate opening thing by being the distraction. Sam always does this and he notably looks out for Five all the time but the way this one was said is so??? Tender??? Like??? I don’t fucking know something about it is DIFFERENT it JUST IS
Anyway tl;dr: That man was doing perimeter patrols on something else and it’s not Abel Township I can tell you that much
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