#i am fucking done with you

[sp00kysk3lly]

I remember the time my so called “best friend” laughed at me in public because I told him my IQ score was 122.

I went on lots of websites and they all said the same thing.

What was so funny about me having an IQ of 122? What, because it’s above average? And oh wait, you think I’m fucking thick!

Oh yeah, now I remember you telling me repeatedly, that my attention span was the size of a flea!

What best friend does that? I don’t know any others “best friend” doing that?

When I see peoples best friends, they aren’t putting them down. They aren’t making them feel like they’re thick at everything.

I’m fed up with being put down by people who think they know me. They don’t know me. They don’t know what I am truly capable off! I’m fed up with it. I just want to be viewed by my family and friends as intelligent. As someone who isn’t thick. I know I am not THICK! I am not UNINTELLIGENT!

From Google: True friends are usually those who offer you support, improve your quality of life, promote self-confidence, provide unconditional love, and help you progress mentally.

What about my so called "best friend" is any of that? NONE! A "best friend" doesn't PUT YOU DOWN! A "best friend" doesn't sit on a PUBLIC TRAIN and tell you (their best friend) that they pretty much think YOU'RE THICK!!!!

Well, an IQ of 122, isn't thick! its above the normal range. It's above average! So, that proves it! I AM NOT THICK! I AM NOT UNINTELLIGENT! I DO NOT HAVE THE ATTENTION SPAN OF A FUCKING FLEA!!!!!

#mental health #mental health awareness #no friends #zero friends #fake friends #toxic friends #being called names #so called best friend #i hate you #i am fucking done with you #i have had enough #i am not thick #i am not unintelligent #i am smart #IQ test #122 #above average scoring #leave me the hell alone #me against the world #me myself and i #goodbye

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[panstarry]

my final from last semester that i made into a zine. cooked this one up in a couple hours before the critique (the ink was still wet!), so it's very raw and kind of sloppy but the sentiment is there. i love you trans people of color. we are the backbone of this community 🌟

#pan draws #pan designs #zine #risograph #i'm not gonna lie i don't love how this one turned out OTL and i think the wording is not done but well... a deadline is a deadline #i'll probably touch it up and rewrite it in the future but who's to say.. i need to stew on how to articulate my feelings coherently #anyway my transness is so closely tied to my experience as a person of color. the current political climate is so fucking ass to exist in #but more than anything i am pissed off at white punks & leftists & trans people that refuse to have meaningful solidarity with us. #so yeah anyway. i was stuck on this one forever and only really got anywhere with it after attending 2 punk noise shows in a row where they #actually used their fucking platform to do like. anything. our struggles are connected you need to careeeee YOU HAVE TO CARE........ ok bye #tdov #trans day of visibility #<- i was sitting on uploading this for a while so the stars kind of aligned for it to be today huh.... happy tdov i love you

[jangmi-latte]

FELLOW HONEST SHAKES

#twisted wonderland #twst #twst playful land #I TOLD MYSELF NOT TO FALL FOR ANOTHER EUROPEAN MF #LET ALONE HE'S A FOX #IF HE ENDS UP BEING A PIECE OF SHIT I AM DONE FOR #HE'S SO ..SO... MISCHIEVOUS LOOKING I WANNA PISS HIM OFF #FIGHT AND DEFY HIM Y'KNOW?????? #is his name really fellow honest #WHATEVER WITH HIM AND ACE IN THE SAME ROOM I CAN TAKE THEM #ORANGE IS MY FAVORITE COLOR 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️ (IT IS NOT) #GOOD LOOOOOOOIRF it's 4am #fuck that damn smirk I WANNA PULL YOUR EARS #i need sleep but my mind is running wITH ALL THESE CIRCUS POSSIBILITIES AND #WHAT THIS MAN CAN DO #I KNOW YOU. I KNOW WHAT YOUR OG CHARACTER DID TO PINOCCHIO BUDDY #GRINDING MY TEETH ON HIS TAIL

[heartorbit]

WHEEEEEE

#project sekai #pjsk #prsk #emu otori #i drew this insteabd of payong attention to class. Sorry. #And am posting it while i wait for the bus. I ha e sleey disease #SLEEPY. #emu otori from um . fortntie #Rhebusihesjehr THE BUS IS HERE BYYE #edit ok im back waiting for my transfer BROTHER. THE ANNIVIERYUAEYH it got me so fucked up prsk you crazy son of a gun #I THINK THE NEW OUTFITS ARE RLLY CUTE MIKU SOOOO KITTY #im almost done with all of my commsni dont think i will open them again this semester. or next. summer. Im sho tired #my assignments r fun but theyre like big. Theyrbe large #my prof said he was gonna make us make fur/sonas for an assignment hut didnt want to get fired. dont be a coward #proseka autism is killinng me i cant lie WHY IS DARKNESS FESTA TIERING SO FUCKING CRAZY #IVE NEVER EVER SEEN THE 10K CUTOFF REACH A MILLION POINTS ON EN. USUALLY WE SLACK SO HARD. COME ON #im so sleepy and have things to do please sotp it AND CURTAINCALL IM GONNA BE SICK I CANT TRHJNK ABOUT IT

[shikisei]

The only thought in my mind was, "I have to get across."

#ace attorney #WHAT THE HELL. WHAT THE HELL. WHAT THE HELL. WHAT THE HELL. WHAT THE HELL. WHAT THE HELL. WHAT THE HELL. WHAT THE HELL. WHAT THE HELL. WHAT #YOU GUYS? THIS FUCKING CASE? #not done with it yet but. HELLOOOOO? #i am SOOO going to do hospital art later too btw mark myyy fucking words. anyways #WHAT THE HELL?!

[ithinkdogshouldvote]

No listen- LISTEN! He’s a cat boy. He literally eats rats. You cant silence me! No no you dont understand- no plea- *gunshot*

(Also, vyncent tried to dye his hair black when he got to prime to blend in more, but the purple bled through cause it was shitty box dye.)

#vyncent sol #jrwi vyncent #virion sol #just roll with it #jrwi prime defenders #prime defenders #jrwi pd #if virion sol has no fans i am dead #he has literally done nothing wrong ever #digital art #digital drawing #my artwork #jrwi #fanart #jrwi fanart #cat boy vyncent dog boy Dakota and whatever the fuck William is #also he used to tuck his tail into his pants. que hilarious jokes about is thata tail in your pants or are you just happy to see me #notice how his season 2 design has messier hair? yeah. thats cause tide isnt around to tell him to brush it.

[uncanny-tranny]

I think it would really benefit people to internalize that mental illnesses are often chronic and not acute. Some of us will never be able to jump the hurdle of managing illness, much less sustaining a sense of normalcy. Many of us will never "recover," will never manage symptoms, will never even come close to appearing normal - and this is for any condition, even the ones labeled as "simple" disorders or "easy-to-manage" disorders.

It isn't a failure if you cannot manage your symptoms. It isn't a moral failure, and you aren't an awful person. You are human. There's only so much you can do before recognizing that you cannot lift the world. Give yourself the space to be ill because, functionally, you are.

#mental health #mental health advocacy #like... anxiety and depression are often concieved of as simple and easy to manage... #...but that isn't the case for so many of us. anxiety and depression just have a lot more research invested into them... #...and while i wish this were the case for literally every other condition it does alter people's perception of you to some extent... #...so while this is NOT solely about anxiety or depression it includes us... #...my anxiety and depression and PTSD have *destroyed* my life. this is chronic and will probably be life-long... #...and that isn't my fault. i've done the fucking work but guess what? that doesn't account for the fact that I Am Just ILL #the least we can do for each other is to be compassionate #be compassionate to those who cannot heal. be compassionate to the people who can't manage their lives. this world is scary enough #recognize that management of symptoms is something not all of us can do - even IF their condition is labeled as 'easy to manage' #i allowed myself to feel angry that i can't heal 'normally' and that was unfair as fuck toward myself #and i NEED people to internalize this so that MAYBE this could help somebody else who is where i was #i NEED them to understand that it's okay that they are where they are - sometimes shit just doesn't turn out how you expect or want #don't beat yourself over you being a person. you are struggling enough. you deserve to rest. just rest please #and just... give yourself space

[yesmissnyx]

An Unsexy Post About Censorship

Sooo...gumroad is shutting down NSFW content sales because of Stripe and Paypal. This is also why Wishtender has been down as well, if you weren't aware. And why Patreon is also cracking down on anything remotely kinky.

(If you're wondering why your favorite FICTIONAL sexual content isn't allowed on most platforms, it's payment processors.)

Please be extra kind to anyone who works with NSFW content right now, whether it be art, writing, audio, photos or video. Whether it be tasteful erotica, or the kinkiest BDSM porn you can think of, we're all in the crosshairs right now.

And, judging by trends from these past few years, this is only going to get worse.

Support NSFW creators where you can, whether by tipping or buying our content (where you still can) or just helping boost content on sites where algorithms want to drown us out.

Call representatives where you can and complain about payment processors acting as arbiters of what YOU are and aren't allowed to pay for and enjoy.

This may be about porn right now, but censorship of this caliber doesn't just stop with porn. Any transgressive (read: non-conservative) media is fair game.

Fight against it where you can. Support creators where you can.

Art is important. Reflections of our sexuality are important. We don't want a world where people aren't free to make or see the things they love and enjoy.

#nyxrambles #Warning: I'm going to get kind of grim in the tags so peace out of you have to. #This bums me out so fucking hard! #I have artist friends who are struggling because their content suddenly goes against these stupid fucking guidelines! #I'm going to have to take my stuff off of Gumroad even though it was previously allowed! #It's hard to not feel like everything is just spiraling toward fascism sometimes yanno? #I am usually opposed to slippery slope arguments but the goal of moral conservativism is to destroy everything that isn't in line with it. #They will not stop until the world reflects their narrow ideals. Like...that's the whole point of it! #Sorry guys I'm just having a rough one. #Between this and being sick for months I'm getting pretty fucking Done. #I'll be okay but I'm not going to pretend it isn't hard and scary.

[inkskinned]

it is hard to explain without sounding vain or stupid - but the more attractive others find you, the more you're allowed to do. the easier your life is.

i have been on both sides of this. i am queer and cuban. i grew up poor. for a long time i didn't know "how" to dress - and i still don't. i make my sister pick out any important outfits. i have adhd in spades: i was never "cool and quiet", i was the weird kid who didn't understand how "normal" people behave. i was bullied so hard that the "social outcasts" wouldn't even talk to me.

i got my teeth straightened. i cut my hair and learned how to style it. i got into makeup. it didn't matter, at first, if i actually liked what i was doing - it mattered how people responded to it. like a magic trick; the right dress and winged eyeliner and suddenly i was no longer too weird for all of it. i could wear the ugly pokemon shirt and it was just "ironic" or a "cute interest."

when i am seen as pretty, people listen. they laugh at my jokes. they allow me to be weird and a little spacey. i can trust that if i need something, people will generally help me. privilege suddenly rushes in: pretty does buy things. pretty people get treated more gently.

i am the same ugly little girl, is the thing. still odd. still not-quite-fitting-in. still scrambling. still angry and afraid and full of bad things. of course it became my obsession. of course i stopped eating. i had seen, in real time, the exact way it could change my life - simply always be perfect, and things can be easy. people will "overlook" all the other things. i used to have panic attacks at the idea others would see me without makeup - what would they think? even for a simple friend hangout, i'd spend a few hours getting ready. after all, it seemed so obvious to me: these people liked me because i was pretty.

i worry about how much i'm being a bad activist: i understand that "pretty" is determined by white, het, cis, able-bodied hegemonies. if i was really an ally, wouldn't i rally against all of this? recently there's been a "clean girl" trend which copies latinx aesthetics: dark slicked-back hair, hoop earrings. i almost never wear my hair like that; i can hear the middle school guidance counsellor advising me that i might fare better if i toned it down on the culture.

the problem is that i can take pretty on and off. that i have seen how different my life is on a day where i try and a day where i don't. i told my therapist i want to believe the difference is confidence, but it's not. and when you have seen it, you can't unsee it. it lives inside your brain. it rots there; taunting. i get rewarded for following the rules. i am punished for breaking them. end of story.

pretty people can get what they want. pretty people can feel confident without others asking where they got their nerve from. pretty people can be weird and different. pretty people get to have emotions; it's different when they get aggressive, it's pretty when they cry with frustration.

of course people care about this. of course it has crawled into you. of course you want to be seen as attractive. it's not vanity: it's self-preservation.

#pretty in this post is a stand in for . literally all forms of normativity #warm up #tbd maybe idk #ps! hi!! i'm queer!!!!!!!!! it is how i identify! if you tag this 'q slur' i will fight you!!! #i am using it here in the EXACT way it is NOT a slur !! i am identifying as a queer person! #this is EXACTLY how people reclaim it !!! #it's like practically ACADEMIC in this usage!! #please do any reading into what the fuck the history of the word ''queer'' is before telling me #as someone identifying as queer #that i'm a slur. that the place i find comfort in is a slur #''well it makes me uncomfortable if people use it for me'' #im sorry to hear that dude. that sucks. i hope things get easier for you soon #but you don't get to take it from ME #in case you can't tell by the REST of this piece #i DID hear queer used as slur against me. i DID get bullied with it. i DID hear a lot of shit said #i also heard it about lesbians #about ''being gay'' #about pretty much any fucking term that could describe me. #i like queer. i like how it feels. and it's mine. #you don't get to undo the work i've done personally because it makes u uncomfortable #it's ahistoric to pretend like there are ''safe'' ways to identitfy if ur queer. #none exist. it has never been safe to be like this.

[bixels]

While I do think anon was rude, I do think it's pretty shitty to set up all this stuff you were going to add the au and then just drop it. It's disappointing. Definitely unfollowing.

Bye.

#ask me #anon #once AGAIN. #I am not dropping anything #the au is not getting cancelled. more than likely i'm gonna take a break from it until i find motivation again #But I've been drawing the AU for half a fucking year #In that time I've only drawn 5 things that aren't mlp related #I'm getting tired and my last few posts didn't do as well as I'd hoped #And I'm not about to burn myself out on mlp au art even if I really do love making it #I'm still gonna make comics. I have a bunch of ideas. #Tulli and I still wanna do the limited run merch shop #Discord is still coming. Sunset is still coming. Sombra is still coming. I have so many ideas #But I need to do something else for my own sake. Did you know I was supposed to get the background 6 designs done by now #But I didn't because I'm TIRED #I've been keeping myself on a schedule to keep content pumping despite travel and school and family and I'm tired #what i'm getting isn't matching what i'm giving and that's nobody's fault. i'm not frustrated at anyone. a slump was bound to happen #drawing the au was fun until it become my Thing. Because when your Thing––your identity––starts to faulter #it can really make you freak out #And that's not healthy for the project or for myself. I need to find the fun again and I'm sure I will #I'm really appreciative of everyone's support in my inbox and replies it really does mean a lot especially given that about 2/3 of my #followers followed for mlp. But if you're gonna react to me saying “i'm gonna cool down on mlp art and draw my own stuff” with “i'm #disappointed in you." then Leave! I think it's good you're unfollowing #you are not obligated to stick by my side! But don't act like I'm doing you a disservice by turning my attention elsewhere #I didn't promise anyone anything and I definitely didn't say I'm breaking any promises.

[glassedplanets]

a few months ago giffy was like "haha hear me out, what if tattoo au" and then we blacked out and talked about nothing else for like three weeks

#my art #one piece tag #zosan #if you've been here since 2012 then a) i'm sorry. thank you for your service. b) PLEASE have a Sensible Fucking Chuckle with me about this #honest to god the ufnniest possible thing that i personally could have done in the year 2023 #if you're wondering what happened in 2012 then please leave that stone unturned. tghank you #anyways this whole thing brings me INSURMOUNTABLE joy ask me any question about anyone and i am sure i will have an answer #we have meanings or reasons for just about everything visible here and uhhhhh soooo so so so much more (ask me questions.. ask me....) #fitting the general fuckbonkers insanity of one piece into a modern au was both challenging (fun!) and INCREDIBLY hilarious #giffy is the funniest fucking person on the planet for coming up with half the situations that we shoved everyone into #(i did these in.. october i think?? maybe earlier? during the time i limited myself to sketches only) #tattoo au tag

[bucking-mustangs-with-wings]

Via: https://robertviglasky.com/masters-of-the-air/

#ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME #ARE YOU KIDDING #GOING FERAL #ABSOLUTELY FERALLLLL #*throws hands up* #i am DONE with BOTH of you #FUCK #buck x bucky #clegan #mota #masters of the air #john bucky egan #john egan #gale buck cleven #gale cleven

[minthological]

hello, fwendy-wends!

i bring you my little painting of wiggog y'wrath because i am. not normal about him. haha

sketch + alt pics below the cut <3

the one above is before sealant, these ones are ~30 minutes after sealing! also tilted one a little so you can see the shinies better! highlights my beloved 💚

#npmd #starkid #nerdy prudes must die #wiggly #wiggog y'wrath #lords in black #art #artists on tumblr #painting #acrylic painting #fanart #starkid fanart #can you tell he's my fav..... #maybe pokey next! if uh. i have another smaller canvas 😭 this was my last 3.5 x 2.75 #his hair was the fun part. soooo many swoops and strands!! wiggly's got volume!!! #side note i do need his sweater. immediately #but yeah the whole summoning he had just the biggest “blowing you up with my fucking mind” aura #but he's in human form so i imagine he can't quite put that across. hence his eyes filled with hate behind him :) #i love how completely done he was the whole time. and his dynamic with pokey? ugh. massive tired big brother energy #i am RANTING okay hope you all like bye bye!! 👋👋

[notyourdaisybuchanan]

#I am NOT going to sit here and stare at this post and fiddle with it and have a complex about it #I am just going to post it because I think it is Interesting #Carmy bantering with Claire over an extremely basic task that he obviously could have done alone or delegated #versus Carmy dead fucking serious with Sydney saying I would not be doing any of this without you. #just something to think about! #the bear #sydcarmy #chris storer I am in your walls I just wanna talk

[surroundedbyconfusion]

That scene where Megamind and Minion fight and minion says “good luck on your date”

“I will”

“That doesn’t even make sense!”

“I know!”

This is so much more than I thought and I fucking love DreamWorks

Throughout the movie Megamind values wit - tries to train Titan to have witty comebacks, provokes and asks for it in their first battle, fuck that fantastic “oh you’re a villain alright, just not a super one”

He’s so good at bantering but it all crumbles when he’s actually, truly fighting with someone he cares about rather than views as a game partner

Anyways I’ve been trying to sleep for 3 hours and am about to rewind Megamind again. We’ll see if I notice anything else again.

#shoutout to the billboard at 1:02:07 #favorite little guy. #Megamind #sleep claim me please #guys I have shit to do tomorrow #;-; #Megamind got that reader’s accent and vibes #stubborn even when corrected #I may be projecting #(I am projecting) #but hc he’s stubborn because all he had as a kid was books #he didn’t even get to fucking learn with all those kids #maybe overheard pronunciations but was never taught #so fuck you and your shool #this is metrocity and he is self-taught for so much and he gets to be stubborn and proud of how much he’s done for himself