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#i cant tell which is funnier
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Dave: i leave you three alone for 5 minutes and you spend $800
Rose: You left us alone in a Hot Topic
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haganez · 10 months
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its a pretty easy bug to fix, you just have to envision childes butthole and hairy balls from 3 different angles, cock both flaccid and hard and with precum at the top, and also a happy trail and you will be good
in all honesty hate mail calling my out my name with my street address attached wouldve been better than reading this probably
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aroaceleovaldez · 7 months
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Nico and Percy's dynamic through the series is eternally funny to me, because it's just. like.
Percy's having a constant mental struggle between his fatal flaw of loyalty with a promise he made to Bianca to protect Nico, versus his Big 3 kid desire to maim other Big 3 kids / Poseidon descendant urge to totally maim Nico specifically. He hates Nico so so much. He thinks Nico's annoying and weird at best, and creepy/sketchy when he's older. The only positive thoughts Percy has towards Nico are "He's Bianca's brother and Bianca was my friend and I owe her/He's Hazel's brother and Hazel is my friend and would kill me if I was mean to him," "He's a powerful asset and useful ally (if questionable)," and "He's kinda pathetic and I feel maybe a little bad about it." Percy has multiple occasions throughout the series where he strongly considers - and on one occasionally actually goes through with - throttling Nico.
Meanwhile, Nico is following around Percy like a lost puppy. He explicitly can never bring himself to even dislike anything about Percy no matter how hard he tries. He has a whole bit in BoO where he's mentally going "UGH he's so stupid BUT IT'S ENDEARING HOW DARE HE." He's totally smitten. He's making deals with his dad for Percy. He's making convoluted plans to help Percy stand a chance against Kronos. During the entirety of BoTL it's like he's playing tsundere - "I'm helping NOT PERCY SPECIFICALLY with this quest! Me helping Percy would be SILLY because I DEFINITELY HATE HIM." Then he proceeds to show up to Percy's birthday party to basically ask him on a weird date and spend the entire next book scrambling around trying to help him or protect him or impress him. And Percy could not give less of a shit.
Just. That dynamic is so funny to me. Percy is the founder of the Nico Protection Club in that he's the one they're all protecting Nico from and meanwhile Nico is throwing himself at Percy to the point where the literal god of gay love calls him out on it.
#pjo#percy jackson#nico di angelo#Percy shows up at CJ and squints at Nico like ''hm. why do i feel like i hate you? like i just wanna punch you in the face?''#and Nico just immediately goes ''huh no idea anyways i have to go-'' and jumps into Tartarus#but not before he gives Hazel essentially a detailed explanation of ''this is Percy i cant say much but please dont let him die <3''#and Nico's whole Tartarus trip was basically a whole ''im doing this so no one else has to''#only for Percy and Annabeth to fall in like one book later and Nico proceeds to spend the next book internally screaming about it#and then Cupid calls him out on it and the next book#Nico's just like ''at this point im hoping i keel over within the next week just so i can force this dumb crush to chill the fuck out''#Nico staring pointedly at Will: ''For my own sake i need to form another crush RIGHT NOW so i can finally get over Percy.''#''this has been so bad for my health''#Nico's crush on Percy is just too funny to me. horrible pick my guy. terrible job. love that for you. he could not be less interested.#Percy LITERALLY TRIES TO KILL NICO and ditch him in the underworld and Nico is somehow STILL like ''but i love him''#Percy basically chokes him. beats up his dad. tells him ''go get smited by your dad for me.'' and ditches him.#and Nico's opinions/crush on him DO NOT CHANGE#though also Nico's reaction to Percy beating up his dad + skeletons is SO funny. his jaw is on the floor. he's flustered about it.#he just witnessed Percy be incredibly hot and proceeded to go ''yea i'll do anything for this man. collect reinforcements of 3 gods? sure''#nico you absolute DISASTER with HORRIBLE TASTE. you can do better. raise your standards.#which tbh is funnier when you factor in sun and the star. Nico just wont stop crushing on guys who dislike him and everything he stands for
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gumy-shark · 6 days
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i Need to write reigen ritsu interaction fics. niche corner of the market left untapped (as in multiple people have probably done this but i think my specific interpretation of their relationship is needed nonetheless)
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disastercit · 7 months
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am i the only one who fully believes little davey was legitimately saying "dang" and "hooey"
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Welcome back to the bits of soup I deem good enough for the public:
Angel 100% thought Zach and Ruben were dating for a hot second. It would've been like somewhere in between after the talent show and before canon starts. But either way I think it went something like this.
Ruben: yeah so there's this guy
Zach: ooh guy?
Angel: oh do you guys have an open relationship?
Zach & Ruben: what-
Angel: aren't you dating?
Zach: i mean ruben's an amazing person but I'm straight-
Angel was then confused about this for the next like month. After this interaction he ran it by Jon and Jon was like "bro what planet do you live on?". Then after Zach and Ruben came out to Jon and Angel, Angel pulled Jon aside and was like "fuck you I knew it I was right".
Secondary thought. After Zach and Ruben got their shit together but before Jon and Angel knew (that's a time window of like 2 weeks right??? I don't remember lol) they like put together that something was going on and were trying to make the math math. Eventually Angel got to "they've gotta me a thing man no way they aren't" which was very "I've connected the dots. You didn't connect shit. I've connected them.)
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compressednerve · 5 months
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the audible gasp Parasite and I let out upon opening our torrent of Zombieland and being greeted with this. THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE, JUDAS!!!!! 🫡
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glitchbirds · 1 year
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very hard to reconcile the significant amount of animal cruelty that went into making this film with the fact that this is one of the funniest screencaps ive ever taken of a horror movie
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cacacita · 1 year
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injured myself doing silliness
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bitchthefuck1 · 2 years
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yikes... you worshiping male characters regardless of what they do while criticizing jen walters for the few bad aspects of her show that can be attributed to the writers and not her... your blog says everything about why you make it a point to hate watch she-hulk every week and it's incredibly disappointing. i'm not some mcu fan who loves everything they put out, but man, it's tiring seeing people criticize media like she-hulk in bad faith waaaay more than mediocre white male media. oh well :/
This is... actually really funny because you don't always get anon hate that tells on itself so much.
I've been very clear and consistent about specifying that I don't dislike Jen Walters and in fact really like how she's portrayed by Tatiana Maslany. Her performance is the only really worthwhile thing the show has to offer, and it's why I find it so frustrating that they don't really do anything interesting with her. Every post I've made has been about the writing or specific narrative choices or the CGI or something to that effect.
As for me "worshipping male characters", whomst??? I'm not even really sure who this is about, as there's not a single male character I've posted about uncritically on here. Best guess is that this is about Matt Murdock, which like... I drag him constantly for being a shitty person and a crappy friend. I think his narrative arc is incredibly compelling and the Netflix series was really good, but I hope I don't need to explain to you that there's a difference between finding a character's narrative compelling and liking them as a person/co-signing their behavior, especially when you also criticize that behavior.
I think a lot of the criticism for she hulk has been bad faith dude bros whining because a woman was in a marvel thing, and that's dumb bullshit, but you can't lump all criticism in the same boat. My problem with she hulk, which is my problem with a lot of marvel's stories centered around women, is that they market them as though they're some groundbreaking feminist storytelling and then do very little to actually develop the story or characters well and coast on mediocrity that's only made passable by the talented women they cast. It's a huge disservice to the characters and to anyone who actually gives a shit about them. I'm not going to applaud them for crumbs, and if you're going to sell your work on it's "feminist storytelling" then you sure as shit better deliver more than a shallow girl power narrative. It's 2022.
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saltytyrus · 2 months
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....
#failed to pee quick enough again for my drug test TWICE with the SAME LADY 😭#shes a bitch on top of that#constantly venting about her patients in the waiting room while im getting ready#i asked if i could try again later bec i read that this happens to people and u can wait like 3 hours to see if there's any luck later#but she was like 'i cant keep waiting on u'#which okay fineeee this is annoying for both of us but fuck you#and she said to try again Monday...BUT SHES THERE AGAIN MONDAY#i cant do it again with her 😭😂 even my mom said she was a bitch#bec while i was trying to go she popped her head out and was yelling at the waiting room people#a guy even walked out#the same guy she was just complaining about to me beforehand bec she said he didn't sign in twice#but I'm pretty sure he speaks another language or was confused#i brought that point up and all she did was say the machine has other language options#anywaysss to make it worse (or funnier) i asked my mom to call and see if i can switch to a blood drug test#so she called the school.. two people transferred us over before saying they'll connect us with the cna coordinator.......#THE CNA COORDINATOR WAS MY TEACHER!!! 😭😭😭😭 so my teacher has a voicemail on her phone from a mother about her student#WHO IS PEE SHY 😭😭#i just want a blood test 🥹 or hair follicle test idc but the pee is not happening#if i have to try peeing again it'll be attempt number 4 💀#update:#...my teacher was not happy that my mom left the voicemail for me 💀#my mom said she could tell she wanted to yell as soon as she answered the phone but my mom played it nice-nasty so it toned my teacher down#by the end#yet again she barely answered our question - at least not with a professional yes or no#but a 'i have introvert children too but she needs to learn how to advocate for herself' 🙄no shit but im tiredddd & you're a massive bitch#overall no blood test for me 😭 i have to go back for a third time to embarrass myself by the same tired lady#but seriously im so tired of my teacher always yelling or answering a question with a lecture thats 99% not about what i asked#my mom hit her with the 'i understand and agree that she needs to learn how to advocate for herself etc BUT i keep#telling her that theres no harm in asking questions' 💀 as my teacher was trying to bitch my mom out right off the bat#there's obviously much harm 🥴 i cant imagine the email id get back if i asked
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arty-cakes · 6 months
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being both a bretta and zote fan is so so painful actually ppl will always find some way to make sure they never interact again or use the latter to (seriously) demonize zote for stuff he never did while also mischaracterising bretta and i 💥👊💥🥊👊🤜🤛💥🤜👊🤜💥🤜💥🥊 🤜👊👊👊🤜💥 im not good at putting into words why this is frustrating
either make them divorced mortal enemies or reluctant friends who actually enjoy eachother's company either of those are funnier but why make up stuff that didnt happen and then pretend its canon and the reason why they should never talk again..... thats so boring
i was gonna leave this in the tags but no i wanna talk
i know im complaining here but its honestly not an issue i see a-lot like i do see them being enemies or friends in fancontent and to the ppl who do that ily very much. its always cool. and people like my dynamic too and when they let me know it makes me rlly happy lol
but i feel like people need to understand that not every situation is good or bad sometimes they are just. situations. like bretta and zote
and i still feel like there's this general misunderstanding about zote that needs to be cleared up which is that he's not actually.... a liar lol. or i mean the only person he lies to is himself and he's not pretending to be a knight he really BELIEVES he's a knight. don quixote coded like he rlly believes he killed the vengefly king and won the colosseum tournament and whatever. all confirmed by his dreamnail dialogue like it makes it REALLY CLEAR that he believes what hes saying. he's actually having delusions thats why most people in hollow knight choose to help him out its why he cant process life threatening situations. he's still annoying just because of his general personality but NOT because of his delusions. (i'd say something profound about how usefulness ties to worth in most people's subconscious and its rooted in ableism and its why zote hate is so loud and normalized but i dont know how to) basically he is not out here 'manipulating' anyone wtf
bretta's delusional too btw the game literally calls her out (gpz godhome description i think). personally i like that canon decided these two should meet and the result was this awfully tough dreamgod that u can fight 10x that's hilarious to me. if a fan made this up and it never happened in canon i would be like 'holy shit this should be a dlc this WOULD happen' because these two are just like that
also people seriously forget that bretta didnt just leave because of zote she left because of ghost too. girl just had enough of short knights ok she was done with both of them if you bring her back to town she's not suddenly gonna realize ghost is heroic and cool and be apologetic and want them back and zote's mad and jealous. <- this out here is mischaracterising ALL 3 of them its so juvenile what.... and i just dont think she'd care that much about either of them, a lot like how zote barely gives a shit about the infection or never realizes she left, they both have tunnel vision these two are the same do you see it
also tell me he was lying when he called ghost a beast because they are thats all they've been striving for this is a compliment to them i know it
this isnt reallyyy a rant. its a personal grievance because i like them both so i care about their portrayal and interactions and i like it when they aren't lonely. but also they're really light-hearted characters so why not just treat them like that....they go through shit and then they move on easily and go through it all over again. its been 7 years can we cut them a break. i dont wanna see anymore mischaracterising unless its really funny
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sparring-spirals · 1 year
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Its very important to me that the timing of Fearne's plea to the Wildmother and Orym's plea to the Wildmother are close to each other in the timeline. Partly for: the heartwrenching image of Orym, exhausted, voice sad and tired, fresh off of his friends, again, wondering if the gods are- worth the hassle. Pleading to the Wildmother, desperate and lost. Unaware that somewhere, sometime adjacent, Fearne, scared but whole, had wandered into the Wildmother temple. And prayed to a god she wasn't sure was alive, leaning on Orym's faith, thinking of him, channeling him, for his sake. Asking to- above all else, let him know they're alright? He'll be worrying. (And he was. And he is).
And partly for the image of the Wildmother, presumably very busy with some kind of apocalypse handling logistics, to either:
- Recieve Fearne's ask of "hey..... tell Orym we're okay (and maybe keep him okay too. if you can)" only to immediately recieve Orym's message and go "oh yeah hes absolutely NOT okay, oof"
OR
- Recieve Orym's wavering, heartfelt plea, followed immediately by "hey lady!! if you're still alive can you tell orym we're okay-" and thinking "oh yeah Orym your friends are fine-"
(i cant figure out which is funnier. in a tragic kind of way.)
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thatdeadaquarius · 1 year
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I found one of your sagau posts about language and got me thinking xD
Reader who knows a lot of languages which gets people confused. Are they speaking in their godly language? Are they really that mad that they switched to another language? Why are they smirking like that--- (Aether/Lumine who understood everything trying so hard not to laugh at people's reactions)
Why did I imagine that after a flowery speech Reader delivers a response so blunt the vine boom sfx can be heard---
Reader trying out flowery speech and failing, while the rest of the people in the background are either A.) Trying to convince you that its alright to talk simply (oh now you turn the tables--) or B.) Some of them fainting in devotion/cuteness because their god looks at them so eagerly for feedback
I heard somewhere that Mondstadt is based on Germany and another post about Snezhnaya (bruh whats the spelling 🤣💀) based on Russia, so I thought that while they speak english they also throw in a couple words of their respective language (or in some drunk cases, full out native language). Cue reader just.... 🧍‍♂️🧍‍♀️
Bilingual reader who uses full advantage of their knowledge into making puns and jokes to Cyno----
WE CAUGHT ANOTHER ONE BOYS
YES YES THE PSPSPSPSS NEVER FAILSSS🛐🛐🛐
(subliminalmessagingpspspspsscometomeaskscomepspspspspssubliminalmessaging)
___________
DUDE ive thought abt just making it where Aether/Lumine are the only ones who understand English/ur language and like, while u can (or maybe cant for shenanigans) speak Teyvatian (ew theres gotta be a better word for that?) Theres NOTHING as amazing as the bilingual experience of pranking bitches
Eula gives like a whole poetry book of a speech to you guys to be more responsible abt gliding in the city (its cute <3 shes actually very concerned bc you know you would do sm that would worry her, i mean i know im just flinging myself off of every surface all the time, esp in Mondstadt im not using no stairs💀)
And you just... turn to Aether/Lumine and say smth in English and they bust out laughing
(Or worse, u two are giggling like little shits✨️)
Dont feel too bad Eula, they do this to everyone
(Paimon's constantly on ya'lls case abt it)
Like u didnt even say anything rude (probably), as u explained to Eula, but its like this all the time, sm ppl even find themsleves jealous of this bond you two have got, tho whether they are jealous of Aether/Lumine or you is still still hard to tell,,)
IM SO GLAD ONE PERSON OUT THERE GOT THE FLOWERY SPEECH -> YOU REPLY -> VINE BOOM 🤝🤝🤝 THING I WAS TRYING TO CONVEY
Thats deadass like how i imagine half the time it would be like talking to ppl, esp if ur critizing smth that person was doing lmao (like roasting them)
Its even funnier if like, u didnt hear the vine boom so to speak, like u got ur back to the rest of the characters/npcs while ur talking to this one person and u dont even know u just said smth that's got like one person crying laughing
(KAEYA, aether/lumine, hu tao, KAVEH, Venti, childe, Yae Miko, SCARAMOUCHE/WANDERER, beidou, off the top of my head)
Another one is just standing there in shock, when will they unfreeze? Only time can tell
(Zhongli, jean, eula, keqing, ayaka, ganyu, kuki shinobu, once again off the top of my head theres so many characters at this point in genshin help)
They're just like,, processing still, theyre probably overthinking everything u say bc to them you give so little information 💀 i can see the like transparent images of their thinking faces floating around them now LMAO
(Alhaitham, zhongli again rip, DILUC, kaeya's also laughing at him not just you his stomach hurts help him, Ei, XIAO, ALBEDO, Ayato but he'd also be muffling a laugh, Kazuha maybe i can also see him just giggling n shit, Kokomi, CYNO, Tighnari but also he'll react like its the funniest joke ever while he's trying to actually think abt it, so he just ends up standing there, thinking outloud, then cracking up over and over again lol)
Oh Cyno u sweet summer child, as soon as u started making puns it was over for him, no one can stop you, even if Tighnari can't understand ur language rn he can definitely just sense there's bad jokes being made, esp if Cyno gets it and his lip like, twitches upward or even worse, he chuckles.
(Tighnari's totally getting onto him for corrupting you)
pLEASE US ACTUALLY TRYING TO SPEAK LIKE THEM 😭😭😭
What a cute image, just some of them reassuring us and some of them thinking its cute for trying, and we look around the room when we try for feedback i know i would 😭😭
If i actually got close tho they better give me a headpat or smth
___________
Anyway THANK YOU for the ask!! (subliminalmessingpspspspspscometomeaskscomepspsps)
That was a BEAUTIFUL✨️ thing to read, got my heart doin backflips and shit 😳😊🥰
God this is so long im so sorry everyone
Cheers,
🌒🌊🌧Aquarius♒️🌌🌘
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this girl gets mistaken for being either sanzu or mucho's gf and i cant decide which is funnier. both even. the rest of the gang sees sanzu chauffeuring mucho and this random girl around and rightly assume this is mucho's girlfriend hes trying to impress. the rumor mill only gets to chew on it for a couple days before mucho hears and clarifies shes not. everyone believes him because its mucho he doesnt bullshit like that. many questions are asked namely "then why is sanzu driving you and her around?" and mucho just says he was stalking her for a while, when i asked him about it he said he didnt like her he was watching her because he was suspicious for a real dumb reason so i told him to apologize and he did that by borrowing my car an giving her a ride when it rained. he really only had to do it 1 time and idk why hes still doing it but after a few times i just asked him to drive me around too. and then everyone decides ah obviously sanzu likes her and is being a dumbass about it. when sanzu tries to clear this up nobody believes him and everyone starts dropping unwanted romance advice. i cant decide whether tenjiku or toman would be funnier but you know izana and shion would suggest something unhinged. chifuyu would start reading shojo manga aloud to him to give him ideas and baji occasionally follows to relay love advice he asked his mom for on haru's behalf. i need to stop here before this gets too long but you know theyd all be funny
Lmao I'm just imagining them all hearing that response from Mucho and immediately assuming that Sanzu lied about the whole thing to him because that sounds so much more far fetched then Sanzu having a crush. This happening in the good timeline though so that way both toman and tenjiku (all toman) can get involved, plus Senju who won't stop dropping hints that she wants a sister and asking Sanzu when he's gonna marry her. Mikey definitely tells Sanzu to just give her a taiyaki, the Haitani brother's try to change his clothes for a "better look", Koko overhears and is like "have you tried cash for the future?" then refuses to elaborate, Hanma suggests something crazy, even Shinichiro gets involved and gives him some really corny pick up lines. By the end Sanzu thinks about just asking her out to get them to stop going on about it to him.
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dragonwithafez · 1 year
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found this gif on tenor. do they know? did they make this innocently? i cant tell and dont know which would be funnier
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