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#i couldn't find one to save my life
add1ctedt0you · 3 months
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Four times Jiang Cheng protected someone
Bonus: Two times Jiang Cheng was protected by someone
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Yet, at the same time, Wen Zhuliu was closing in on Madam Yu. He looked as if he was about to knock her down. Jiang Cheng hurried, "Mom!"
He immediately gave up on Wang Lingjiao and threw himself over.
The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation - Chapter 58 - Poisons - Part 3
That, at the town we passed on our way, when you were buying food, a group of Wen Sect cultivators caught up. That, I discovered them early and left where I sat, hiding at the corner of the street and didn't get caught, but they were patrolling the streets and would soon run into you outside.
That this was why I ran out and distracted them.
The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation - Chapter 110 - Concealment - Part 4
Jiang Cheng heard the voice as well. In an istant, his face had turned white, "Sis? Sis! Where are you? Where are you?"
The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation - Chapter 78 - Nightfall - part 3
With a roar, Nie Mingjue grabbed at Jin Ling. Both Jiang Cheng and Jin Ling had backed away to the corner of the wall, unable to retreat further. Jiang Cheng could only stuff Jin Ling behind him and unsheathe Sandu, which at the moment was unable to use spiritual energy, forcing himself to fend off the attack.
The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation - Chapter 107- Concealment - Part 1
Bonus:
Lan Wangji grabbed Wei Wuxian's shoulder with one hand, letting Wei Wuxian stand behind him, and with his other hand he forcefully pushed away Jiang Cheng's hand. Rage could be seen hidden within his eyes. Although his push held no spiritual energy, it was quite powerful in terms of strength. The wound at Jiang Cheng's chest ripped apart again. Blood surged.
Jin Ling cried, "Uncle, your wound! Hanguang-jun, spare some mercy!"
The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation - Chapter 102- Hatred - Part 5
Nie Mingjue's heavy fist punched through a body.
But the body was neither Jiang Cheng's nor Jin Ling's.
Wen Ning blocked himself before the wall, in front of the two of them. With both his hands, he grabbed Nie Mingjue's iron arm and slowly pulled it out of his chest, leaving behind a large, hollow hole. There was no bleeding. Only a couple of black organ crumbs fell out.
The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation - Chapter 107- Concealment - Part 1
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slowdesire · 7 months
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why r vinyls so expensive -_-
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crossbackpoke-check · 9 months
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Substance, Shadow, and Spirit [remixed, abridged] by Tao Yuanming
#liv in the replies#patrice bergeron#boston bruins#brad marchand#do you ever think about how brad marchand said that when bergy retired he would retire or are you capable of normal thought i'm not at all#please say a gratitude for both my sanity& y'all that this poem (which has been saved in my camera roll with the vague idea of using it for#??? ​long) & not one of the poems i had saved for carey for a really long time & remixed & everything with another poem until i found a poem#that absolutely murdered me in cold blood but there is an alternate universe where i did& then had to explain my unhinged thoughts to you.#anyway how are we feeling about bergy retirement. pspspspsp sara & luna are y'all doing okay like. the doc title for this one was#patrice the hockey player means a lot to me but patrice the person means so much more#which is why the end line of the other poem was so *%"@^)! (you love / what you are) because patrice does. like he is a whole ass good huma#& now since no one asked i need to tell you all the details about everything also y'all please clap i made an edit with NO baby pictures#although i did find one & save it & minimal genres of photo i always use in edits because they're my taste & aesthetic but anyway.#when i saved the first photo and marked it as one i wanted i accidentally wrote “how will he know they love him” which is not the line but#makes me feel feral about patrice & the rest of them all had hurtful names too but also. the third picture is literally a CELLY like brad#just scored a goal & he is clinging to bergy for dear life with that shit i saved that as “oh the agony on his face for unendurable”#& yes it is one of my cliches to have a draft day picture but in my defense the lifelong bond that patrice has/d with boston deserved to be#there even if i put in the love story & YES that picture is from the 2011 playoff right below it shared joy & pain & i couldn't tell you#when the brad marchy photo for together forever is except for the fact that i saw it & just the gut punch of oh my god the way he looks at#things men will praise you for is the stanley cup. duh. but i love the contrast of “some deed” being the stanley cup but then#bergy's choice to do noble deeds (ends up still earning praise &that's my note to his efforts outside of hockey we love a supportive captai#should also mention the first two i came up with & had the photos i knew i wanted for were the first and last one alskaldk but i KNEW i#wanted chara somewhere in the paragraph about leaving & then while i was looking found the one of bergy playing tuukka on accident & yes#i do have to make goalie jokes every time. no reprieve . no dice/no deal/no goal goalies have no rest/reprieve etc etc the one that killed#me though was looking for a patrice award pic & i wanted basically the one that i got for “how will you know any will praise you” & instead#also got the picture of patrice winning the some community hero award for charity work that he does & i love him mama & of COURSE that puck#is from bergy's 1000 game who do you think I am (if you guessed sleepy and emotional about patrice you'd be right) and ALSO please be ready#for all the patrice posts/bruins posts that have been sitting in my drafts to be released on this occasion of patrice retirement#I FORGOT TO MENTION THAT TUUKKA ALSO RETIRED THAT’S WHY HE WAS ON WISE OR SIMPLE NO REPRIEVE AND THAT LATE OR SOON WAS ALWAYS GOING TO BE#CHARA BECAUSE CHARA LEFT FIRST TO GO TO THE CAPS AND THEN LEFT IN RETIRMENT HE LEFT SOON BUT NOT FOR REAL THEN LATER LEFT FOR REAL (RETIRED)
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unloneliest · 5 months
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the problem of the matter is i did internalize so much of what ex friend believed about me. even though i knew he was wrong and knew what was happening and tried to stop it and if i took more action to stop it would have been abusing power i held in a way i couldn't live with myself for.
#A BAD PERSON TRYING TO RUIN YOUR LIFE WOULD'VE GOTTEN YOU FIRED AND EVICTED IN WINTER IN ALASKA YOU MOTHERFUCKER. WHICH I DID NOT DO#he was renting a room from my dad. for cheaper than he wouldve been able to find anywhere else. his brother was too#his brother didn't pay rent for over 6 months and my dad just forgave him the debt because my dad knew how much of a difference it wouldve#made when he was that age. and i had told him ex friend was family to me & my dad applied that to the brother too. bc he is a good person.#and one of the strongest parts of my support system. and i didn't say a word to him about what was happening until i knew he already had a#plan for when he would be ending ex friend's lease. so there would be no subconscious impact on ex friend's housing either#mgmt at work straight up asked me if i thought ex friend should be fired immediately multiple times and i'm in retrospect livid they put me#in that position but told them to go by the strike system in the employee handbook and to follow policy that ex friend knew perfectly. that#it couldn't be on me as acting assistant manager to choose#and after 10 months of workplace harassment i got a different job to save my life. ex friend didn't get fired.#he did saw trap shit to my brain!!!!!! jesus christ#he moved cross country to live with his long time gf he called his wife despite never having met irl. to a way more conservative state.#despite being gay. and she left him this summer lol#hadn't checked his twitter in over a year when it got pulled up frm an old link and i saw that. and when he was already at a low point too#me voice. oh no who could've seen this coming. from how you behave in every relationship in your life#may delete this in the morning. but i have to talk about it sometimes#i'm never reaching out for closure both bc he wouldn't give me any and because i know it would trigger him and i don't intentionally trigge#people. unlike him :)#vampire pit#like. i have to talk about it sometimes. i have to talk about it.#jam posts
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chloecherrysip · 1 year
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breaking news: local woman goes to the movie theater and somehow DOESN'T see the mario movie again for the millionth time? who IS she??????
#this APPEARS to be a non-mario related post but stick with me i'll bring it back around in the tags#instead i saw the japanese stage production of spirited away (subtitled) and it was absolutely lovely :) :) :)#i LOVE spirited away (makes me cry every time) and i LOVE theatre and to see how they translated so many incredible sights#from the movie to the stage was delightful#but let me tell you...the mario brainrot runs deep right now and my treacherous thoughts started taking me places#mario spirited away AU?? is that anything?? tragically separated bros fic where luigi is in the chihiro role and mario is in the haku role?#where mario saved his brother's life many years ago but lost his name and memories in the process and was corrupted by bowser's magic#and the experience was so traumatizing that luigi forgot about the other world they found together and has been told for years#that his brother simply drowned in the sewer saving him#and then as an adult luigi finds his way back into the world and has to serve bowser and fight the mushroom kingdom to survive#but at least he's being helped by a strange half-human creature who somehow knows his name without being told. at least there's that#I GOTTA PONDER ON THIS A LITTLE MORE BUT THERE IS SOMETHING HERE. I'VE GOT SOMETHING GOING ON WITH THIS#something that hasn't come up yet on this blog but is crucial to one's understanding of me: i LOVE weird AU's#i've never met a weird AU that i couldn't make work somehow. just watch me!!!#and also if you would want to see more elaboration on this let me know lol
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time passage, huh...
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I used to come here quite a few times. Because on every school holidays, minus summer one, I'd go with my grandma to the sanatorium. Plus me and my grandparents would go skiing here. I struggled climbing back up — and still do. I'm afraid of sliding from large slopes, too.
Eventually though, around the time I was a pre-teen, we both stopped. Now I'm not sure whether or not we'd go back there again. I mean, it's not like we can't. It's that it isn't as necessary, possibly? Or not as effective? My grandma's health is getting more and more frail — I see it myself. I'm afraid of... her heart stopping to beat. Some ordeals done in a sanatorium wouldn't be as good for her as before, probably. Considering it's not just the asthma that is there to treat.
Or it is from me... just being selfish?
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Now I'm 16. I came here by myself. I have never been here completely alone. And it's just as beautiful as it has always been... But it feels different.
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I have never been a social kid. I've always had a handful of friends, and even then most of the time I spent at home watching YouTube, be it by myself or with mom in the next room. I wouldn't chat with many people, as I found it hard to find the topics — they didn't know what was inside my head. They seemed... normal. They didn't draw demonic versions of beloved cartoon characters, inspired by a let's play on a fairly crappy .exe game. I have always been the best listener to myself. Me and my sketchbooks.
And the few people that I thought were the same either weren't trustworthy from the beginning, or weren't of my taste. Yes, I'm going to say it — it's normal to dislike someone, even if they have the same interest as you.
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But in either case, I was alone. Too many times, too often. I had barely anyone to share my art with. But then I was encouraged to make an instagram account to share my art.
Did it help? Not really. Since I was followed by my mom and grandparents, I knew I couldn't post everything. Plus, I was less aware of what social media was back in 2019. So ultimately, it stayed the same, except I showed my drawings to the public that wasn't the target audience I had aimed for. And at some point I saw others making accounts sharing WIPs. So I made one, and in combination it was occassionally a vent account. Problem was that my mom followed my there, so I had to put on a filter of what I could and couldn't post again, plus use only English to not be caught in captions. And then I lost access to it after getting a new phone, so it stays as a small archive of me losing motivation in drawing at one point and denying I'm bi and a furry.
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And now... I'm here. I'm 16 years old. I have existed for not much time at all, compared to other artists and especially the universe. But it's not as if my life is worthless. It went through phases. Many phases. It had joys and sorrows. It had self-hatred and self-doubt. It had projects picked up and dropped. Creations made and remade over and over, in hopes to unleash full creative freedom. And through all this time...
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It left a mark.
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It left a mark on this world, in some way. There have been people before me, who have done the same. Who screamed into the void, hoping it would respond back. Who left symbols that say "Hey! I used to be here!" And only now do I see what these words mean. I may never meet people who have left these graffitis, and they may never meet me, but I'll know they existed. That they came here, into this sanatorium, found an abandoned structure built for god-knows-what, and left their mark. Which may not last until the end, but it's still here!
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The evidence of us being alive!
... Keep living. You are not worthless. Your pictures and songs may not be passed down in museums, but they will exist as a reminder of what being human is about. You may stumble and fall, but ultimately that's what life is, right?
It's a path you make yourself.
- 29.12.2022
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LMFAO I JUST REMEMBERED I WAS FUCKING W THE SCHOOL COUNCILOR EARLIER TODAY DBDJDHDHS
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twpsyn-who · 2 years
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Don't you hate when you have a ff idea and start writting it, but the chapter writes itself and goes in a totally different direction than you would want and you get mad cuz that's not how you wanted things to go but you have to roll with it now. *looking angrily at my document*
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Like fuck you Eddie it wasn't supposed to be about you man. Not yet anyway
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misskamelie · 7 months
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how am I supposed to be an alto I can't even reach a C5 without sounding like a balloon dying
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winterzsurprise · 11 months
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Ride me? || Miguel O'hara
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Pairing: Miguel O'hara (Spider-Man 2099) x F!reader
Tags: Overstimulation, rough sex, choking, squirting, vaginal fingering, big dick Miguel, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it kids), fang kink if you squint.
Words: 1.8k
Summary: Just when you thought he's exhausted enough from chasing Miles Morales and had given you the chance to actually ride him, Miguel has other plans.
This man evokes something so feral in me that I forgot I was suffering through the worst writer's block. He got me giggling and twirling my hair yesterday at the cinema wtf. I used my very limited Mexican Spanish knowledge from watching streamers flirting in a block game for this.
cariño - honey || mi vida - my life || mi amor - my love || guapito - handsome
Miguel isn't the type to let someone control the pace, even if he did, his hands grounded on your waist would soon guide your hips into a rhythm he prefers, hard and fast.
You've been hearing the ruckus down the spider webs, something about another version rebelling against the usual stories of every Spider-Man in the multiverse to save his dad. Knowing that your husband sits at the top as their leader, you expected him to disappear for a long period of time.
Not that you mind of course, he's had plenty of times he charges in to handle an anomaly himself.
You do have to give some kudos to the kid for trying to change reality though. After Miguel's story, nobody in the headquarters, even you, dared to defy the fates laid upon every Spider-Man.
It's been three days since he left and honestly, you didn't expect him to arrive yet. A person deterring from the fates of every Spider-Man would be hard to handle, you couldn't even imagine how difficult it'd be.
So when the doors to your apartment flew open and came to him, practically drooping from exhaustion, you were surprised.
He came earlier than expected.
"How'd the chase go?"
"I don't want to talk about it. Come here." 
Drying your hands off on the towel hanging from the wall counter, you made your way to the man laid spread and heaving on the couch. His head tipped back with his usually neatly gelled hair now haggard and messy, he looked up when he sensed your presence and immediately pulled you onto his lap.
You laughed. "Don't fall asleep here, I don't want to carry your heavy ass."
His lips tugged into a weak smile, his pointy canines briefly appearing.
"Spider-Man is supposed to help the weak, are you really ignoring a civilian in need?"
You didn't get what he meant until he pulled your hips closer, dragging your core over the tent on his pants.
You hit his arm. "Go to sleep, you must've been really tired after chasing that kid around."
"Then ride me."
You paused before narrowing your eyes at him. He's baiting you with the very thing you've wanted to do since the beginning. But the dark cloud of lust in his eyes somehow convinced you of his genuineness.
His talons dug onto your flesh, hard enough to take control of your hips to grind on top of his dick sensually while keeping eye contact with yours. You couldn't ignore the pleasure and jolts of heat electrifying and burning your nerve endings alight at every drag of your heat over his.
"I want to feel you baby, I miss you so much."
Miguel pushes you down on his hardness and you moan, the feeling of his girth finding home between your legs shot electric pleasure down your spine.
"You are a convincing man."
"And you love it."
You lunged for a kiss and instantly, one of his hands threaded itself onto the back of your head, locking you in place as your lips danced against each other in a fierce battle. The raw hunger after being starved for a week now surfacing and consuming you both, mind and body. 
His other hand guided your hips up and down his clothed dick, his deep groans and growl lit fireworks in you, igniting your determination to coax more of them out of his lips.
"Get rid of the pants or I'll rip it off of you."
"Rip it then."
He didn't need to hear you twice. 
In one quick motion, he tore your sweatpants into two before doing the same thing to your panties and throwing them somewhere in the room. He groaned as his head fell onto the crook of your neck, hands crawling up to cup your breasts before your top and bra suffered the same fate as your other clothing.
"The pants, only the pants! I loved that bra!"
"I'll buy you something better, from another universe even." He responded, almost breathless as your scent invaded every speck of his senses. Miguel groaned. "Fuck, I miss this scent of yours baby."
"I don't care, get rid of the suit."
His attire dissolved into thin air and retracted back to god-knows-where, revealing his ruffled shirt and grey sweatpants that did nothing but proclaim his clear desire for you.
"Let me prep you real good, huh?"
Retracting his talons, two of his fingers delved into your heat, immediately drenching itself with your arousal and he groaned.
"So wet for me, mi amor."
"Only for you, guapito."
Two of his digits rolled your clit sensually and with the dexterity of an experienced man, urging more of your arousal to coat his fingers further. Once he was satisfied with the amount of fluid now dripping into his pants, he wandered lower and lower until he plunged his index in, curling it up so deliciously you moaned and grinded your hips onto the slow plunge of his hand.
His eyes watched your heat like a ravenous man holding back, the feral look on his face only pulled you closer to the edge.
And it's only a finger in.
"So tight, mi vida. You treat me so well."
He added two fingers in and you screamed, his pace now rapidly gaining speed. Your eyes rolled back as your hips thrashed and clumsily followed his thrusts, there was nothing else that mattered more than coming for your darling in that moment.
Miguel groaned, watching your face twist into the most sinful display of pleasure he has ever seen. The pride and smugness from knowing it was all because of him made him smile.
Only he could see you in such a state and no one else.
You clenched around his digits, tempting him to finally take the dive. Although his fingers coaxed pleasure out of you with no problem, you missed the feeling of his dick carving your insides, stretching you thin and reminding your cunt who it belongs to.
But Miguel ignored the bait and instead hastened up while curling up to push on your g-spot. You almost blacked out from the euphoria he feeds you, a coil in your stomach tightened and you moaned.
"I'm cl-close… Fuck!"
"Give it to me baby, I want it all."
It didn't last long until the coil exploded and your arousal squirts out of your cunt to drench Miguel's shirt, whose gaze turned a shade darker at the scene when you peered down to meet his gaze.
A tense atmosphere rose from his mere gaze and goosebumps prickled your skin. Your heartbeat jumped through the roofs as you stared back at his dark eyes, he triggered your spidey sense.
And for some sick reason, it only ignited the simmering arousal in the pits of your abdomen.
"Fuck the ride, you're not getting up until I say so, cariño."
You barely sensed him flipping you both, with you now seated and spread on the sofa while he stood in front of you, hastily removing his remaining clothing as if it angered him.
It didn't take long until his hand cautiously wrapped around your neck and his other, pinning your hips as he plunged himself deep into your cunt. You screamed as he pushed more of him, inch by inch. He stretched you out to the point of no return, the burn of his cock carving you open once more made you light-headed.
And he loves nothing more but seeing the cock-drunk look on your face.
Miguel grinned, his fangs protruding so attractively. "God, I love how fucked you look for me, cariño. Give me more."
He pulls and plunged himself back in, shooting hot white pleasure in your body. Miguel didn't wait long before his usual hard and rough pace started. The hand around your throat tightened and your mind turned woozy from the lack of oxygen, his thrust taking your breath away only evoking the feeling of nirvana within you.
He drove in you hard and quick enough you can distantly hear the couch legs wincing as it gets pushed back with every plunge of his dick.
"Fuck…!"
"That's right darling, I'm fucking my sweet cariño open and wide for me."
The electric shocks the head of his cock briefly grazing the head of your uterus sent your legs flailing on his sides. Growing bothered by them, he halts to rest them on his wide shoulders and wraps his arm around your thigh before entering somehow deeper into you.
Your hands found his meaty thigh and dug itself onto it and it encouraged him to go even faster, pushing you closer to the edge and you swore you could see the pearly gates of the heavens.
"I'm co-coming…! Miguel!"
"Give it to me baby, you know how much I love seeing you convulse so helplessly around me."
The hand on your throat left to find purchase on your clit, rubbing you as fast his cock plunges into you.
With a scream, you came. 
Your legs trembled violently on his shoulder as more of your arousal spurts out of your heat, white hot pleasure burned and stirred every nerve ending awake as your eyes rolled back.
But this doesn't seem to be enough for Miguel who only took a break to see your thighs convulse before continuing his thrusts.
You hit his thighs as he kickstarted another orgasm now bubbling in the pit of your stomach but he paid no heed. 
Not that you minded of course, if anything, it only pleases the sick bastard in your head, wishing to be used and fucked so well by your husband like it's your sole purpose.
"I'm so close, baby. Can you give me another one? Surely you can, right?"
His fingers rubbed your clit to the point of pain yet it somehow enhanced the pleasure growing larger in your chest and you screamed. Miguel bent down to rest his sweaty forehead on your shoulder, in the clouded state you were in, you could make out the sharp points of his canines pushing down your skin.
The threat of his bite shot jolts down to your heavily beaten cunt, once again tightening its coil. The frequent groans and low growls escaping his lips alone told you he's near to climax.
And with that, he's dragging you down with him.
"Please please please, give it to me…!"
"Yes, cariño. Anything, Anything for you."
With a couple of thrust, scorching hot explodes inside of you and Miguel slows down, almost into a halt as he rides down his high. The face of pure unadulterated ecstasy painting his face, along with his fingers, you came with another shout.
When he's calmer, he lets his sweaty body fall into your arms before reaching around to do the same. 
As your breathing returns to normal and the fog in your head clears, Miguel places a gentle kiss on your temple and cheeks.
"I love you so much, cariño."
"I love you more, guapito."
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nanaslutt · 4 months
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The wrong place at the wrong time
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snopsis: you walk in on a particularly interesting facetime between gojo and geto in which gojo tries to convince geto that the prostate is magical thing, but he needs your help in convincing him
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contains: fem reader, sub!gojo, geto is on the phone while you and gojo fool around, dirty talk, prostate milking, anal fingering, hand job, masturbation, bisexual satosugu
MDNI
°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❀⋆.ೃ
..."You what?" You stopped in your tracks in the hallway in front of Gojo's bedroom, staring incredulously at the white-haired man lying on his back, one knee propped up, his arm outstretched above him, Geto's face filling up the phone screen. "Oh? Were you eavesdropping on our conversation?" Gojo asked, covering his mouth as he snickered behind his hand.
"Your door is wide open and you practically just screamed at the top of your lungs that you've fingered yourself before, was I not supposed to hear that?" You asked, your face scrunching at your own words as if you couldn't even believe what you were saying.
"I don't care if you hear~" Gojo cooed, his hand dropping back down to his chest. "Is it really that surprising?" Geto's voice chimed in through the speaker on Gojo's phone. "What's that mean?" Gojo chipped, turning his neck to pout at the dark-haired man, his soft hair falling graciously against the sheets around his head.
"I think he means you're shameless, Satoru." You said, crossing your arms over your chest, leaning against his doorframe. Gojo smirked, unable to deny your words. "You always have been one to talk brazenly about your endeavors in bed... like you were just doing." Geto agreed, his deep voice coming out smooth and sultry through the phone.
"Well, you asked if I had any ways to spice up your alone time... since you're too scared to go find a hookup~" Gojo outted the man, resulting in a tsk from the speaker. You shouldn't be standing in the doorway still, but this conversation was too intriguing to walk away from.
"I didn't mean fingering my ass, save that for the people who really love it. Like you, apparently." Geto deadpanned. Gojo sat up in his bed, his hand placed behind him as he held his phone out in front of him, pouting at his best friend. "It really does feel good, I'm telling you It'll change your life~" Gojo cooed, raising his eyebrows at the dark-haired man.
"I bet my roomie can attest too, I hear you whimper through these thin walls late at night when you think I'm asleep," Gojo revealed, turning his head to look at you. Your jaw dropped, words failing to find your tongue as you stared at him dumbfounded. Yeah, you absolutely should've minded your business.
"W-what the fuck?" You stuttered, feeling your cheeks heat up at Gojo's unexpected words. You heard Geto laugh through the phone, followed by a quiet "Does she really~?"
"Since when was this conversation about me now?" You said, your face scrunching in displeasure as embarrassment flooded your body. How was all of the attention suddenly on you? "It's okay, everyone gets horny, so no need to feel all shy about it~ You sound really cute anyways, you have nothing to worry about."
A loud groan fell from your lips, your hands uncrossing to cover your face, your displeased noises becoming muffled from how hard you pressed your hands to your face. Geto's laughter became hysterical at your dismay. You felt a headache start to come on.
"Heh~ further proves my point though, fingering yourself feels good Suguru~ I don't want you to come crying to me when you're 80, complaining about how you wish you would've tried it when you were in your prime," Gojo said, raising his chin smugly.
"With your eating habits, you'll be lucky if you break 60." Geto quipped, "Anyways, I wouldn't even know where to start." He confessed, Geto's voice coming through softer, honest. A sinister smile formed on Gojo's face as Geto's words reached his ears, an idea popping into his head. His eyes falling on you made your body tense where you stood, wondering why he was looking at you again. You thought you had successfully escaped being the center of attention.
"Wanna help me show Geto how good your prostate can feel?"
The words fell from your roommate's lips as nonchalantly as he had just asked what you wanted for dinner. You kept your hands over your face, your fingers cracked over your eyes so you could see him. You felt a blossom spread in your tummy at his proposition, what did that even mean? How would you have any involvement in this? You didn't even have a prostate.
You felt your heart rate pick up, the organ beating faster in your chest as you stood underneath his awaiting gaze, trying to wrack your brain for the right words to say. Your eyes darted around the room as you tried to escape his eyes long enough to think of a reasonable reply.
You and Gojo have lived together for 2 years now. The two of you practically joined at the hip, courtesy of Gojo who had no concept of personal space and hated being alone. Gojo liked to refer to your personal space as 'our personal space' you had grown used to it.
The childish man could be obnoxious and crass sometimes, but he also had a strange sort of charm to him. He was very observant of your needs, and somehow always knew what you were thinking. Not to mention he was undoubtedly easy on the eyes, no matter how annoying he was--and you would be lying if you said a few of those nights you spent alone in your room with just your fingers to keep you company that Gojo had referred to; hadn't featured said man in your fantasies as you fucked yourself.
After going over these facts and losing yourself in your own mind as you did so, you decided on what you were going to say back to Gojo. Snapping back to reality by dropping your hands to your sides and making unsure eye contact with Gojo, you spoke. "H-how would I help?" You didn't realize that those very words had sealed your fate.
"D-deeper cmon~ touchin' me like you're scared I'm gonna break or something." Satoru teased, wiggling his ass back into you. You felt your face heat up at his words. Well sorry... I've never exactly fingered someone's ass before, excuse me if I'm a little tentative... you shot back in your head, opting to just bite your lip and take his jab in the world outside of your head.
Gejo had placed his phone on his five-foot tripod on the side of the bed, giving Geto a perfect view of Gojo who was laid face down ass up, with you sitting on your knees behind him, a bottle of lube by your thigh, the cap was still undone in case you needed more. Your finger was about halfway into Gojo's ass, slowly and shallowly pumping into him. He was right, you were afraid he was going to break, afraid that if you moved too suddenly, you would hurt him.
The camera was angled near the end of the bed so Geto could also see Gojo's hungry little hole swallow up your fingers, making him palm his large hand over his cock at the sight of it pulsing around you. "You listening Suguru?" Gojo breathed, his head lying against the sheets, and turned to the side so he could see Geto staring at him, and a little sliver of your blurry, shy face.
"Oh, I'm listening," Geto responded, squeezing his hand over his tip as he spoke. He didnt want Gojo to know how much this was affecting him; watching his best friend get fingered by his cute roomie; so he kept his camera on his face for now, keeping the minstrations on himself to himself.
"G-good... you better take it all in for when you try this later~" Gojo cooed, confident that Geto would actually try this. Geto nodded, jerking his hand over his clothed cock harder as he pretended to listen to his words. A choked moan from you brought the attention you detested so much to be centered on you once more. "You okay there?" Geto's voice chirped teasingly through the phone, his eyes taking in your flustered face.
"It's... It's in." You whispered, your words barely being loud enough to be heard through the phone. "Your finger?" Geto asked you, keeping his voice and face monotone as he slid his hand underneath the band of his sweats, his growing arousal needing more than over-the-clothes touching to be satiated.
You nodded, a deep blush spreading across your face as you relished the feeling. Gojo was so tight around you, even tighter than your cunt felt when you touched yourself. "Yeah, I can feel it too, so stop teasing me and move it already~" Gojo groaned, pushing his hips back against your finger, slick from the abundance of lube you used.
You swallowed hard watching Gojo fuck his hips back against you, the motion only resulting in your finger jolting around slightly, not enough to give him any real stimulation. "O-okay." You mumbled quietly, before you pulled your finger out, and screwed it back in. Gojo breathed out through his mouth, relieved you were finally moving.
"How's it feel?" Geto chimed in, his hand now tentatively stroking over his cock, his sweats and boxers alike pulled halfway down his thighs. Gojo grumbled, pouting dramatically against the sheets before he spoke, trying to angle his head to look at you the best he could from his current position. "Feels like I have a finger in my ass," Gojo replied with a short giggle.
Geto hummed in response, tilting his head at his companion through the phone. "Though you were gonna show me how good your prostate feels?" Geto teased, slowing his strokes over his cock as he waited for the real action to happen, not wanting to blow his load too soon. "I would if my cute roomie started listening to me~" Gojo cooed, disguising his jab at you in his teasing words.
You knew he was immediately referring to how gently you were being. Curse you for being curdious of his most sacred place in all of his body. "Fine, you want it harder? Don't come crying to me if you get hurt." You said with a sigh, shaking your head. You placed your free hand on his ass, giving yourself some leverage before you started fingering him properly.
"Yeahhh~ Cmon, give it to me~" Gojo cooed, that annoyingly cocky tone laced throughout his voice. His unaffectedness to having your finger in his asshole made you want to wipe that smirk off his face and replace it with a more desperate look. You tried to be nice, but clearly, that wasn't what he wanted.
Geto watched you carefully as you pulled your lower lip between your teeth, readjusting yourself on your knees closer to Gojo before you pulled your finger out of his hole and grabbed the lube, spreading it across two fingers this time. "Hey, I said give it to me not pull out complete- ahh!" Gojo's complaint was short-lived when you thrust both of your fingers in his ass to the hilt all at once.
Gojo gasped against the sheets like the wind had just been punched from his lungs, his eyes wide as he stared at the wall in shock. "You're so impatient Satoru." You shot back, starting up a decent pace on his ass, your fingers colliding against him causing the fat of his ass to ripple under your hand as you held him steady. Geto laughed at how fast Gojo's expression changed from cocky to desperate, the sight making his cock twitch in his hand.
"A-ah- ah-" Gojo softly whimpered, his hands curling around the pillow under his head for comfort as you fingered him. Your pace now felt words better than your sloppy, slow one just seconds prior, but something was still missing. He needed you deeper, lower. Your fingers just barely ghosting over his prostate was not nearly enough, he needed you to jab directly into it, to abuse it with no remorse.
"Deeper baby, a little deeper," Gojo instructed, the teasing in his voice long gone, now replaced with a carnal need. "Angle your fingers down, curl them down like you're trying to touch my stomach." You quickly took his words into action, wanting to see him crumple under your hand. "You know all the tricks, huh?" Geto chimed in, wishing so badly he was there right now.
What would be his role? Would he be the one fucking his fingers into Gojo's ass while you sucked him off? Maybe he would have you lean forward so he could eat your pretty pussy out while you fingered Gojo, both options sounded delicious. His hand sped up as he lost himself in his fantasies, his free hand curling into the sheets as his eyes stayed glued on the two of you.
You angled your fingers down, towards his tummy like he had instructed, and jabbed your fingers in, curling them when your fingers fucked into his ass to the hilt. The guttural moan Gojo released sent shivers down your spine. "Oh fuck- right there, do that again-" He begged, his arms tightening around his pillow as he shamelessly wiggled his hips back against you, trying to get your fingers to hit that spot inside him again.
Your face scrunched in pleasure as you repeated the motion, feeling a walnut-shaped ball under your fingers each time you curled them inside him. "Ohmyfuckinggod-" Gojo grits through his teeth, his teeth clicking together each time his jaw opens and closes in pleasure. "That looks like it feels good, Satoru," Gojo smirked, the only tell of his arousal being how a light blush spread across his face. Pretty impressive considering how much he was leaking on his fingers from how hot he felt watching the show the two of you were putting on.
Gojo tried to open his mouth to respond but you had gotten more confident with his unabashed moaning, your fingers pistoning in and out of his tight ass, drilling straight into his prostate. "Ah- ah- ah-" The white-haired man moaned so prettily, all the sounds coming from his body being music to your ears. "Does that feel good, Satoru?" You ask, your words coming out more timid than you would've liked.
Your roommate nodded profusely, an adorable red blush spread across his cheeks as his eyes rolled back in his head from how good he was feeling. "So f-fucking good- Ngh- feels so- intense! Nghhhh-" Gojo whined, his words coming out choppy and slurred from the whines being fucked from his body.
“Oh fuck baby- fuck- fuck my ass baby ohmygod- harderrrr-“ Gojo slurred, whimpering into the sheets like some slut. You pressed your thighs together, your clit throbbing at his desperate show of his need for pleasure.
Geto pressed his lips together as subtly as possible, trying to appear unaffected as he rapidly jerked his hand over his cock, matching your pace inside Gojo's tight hole. His camera was shaking slightly with his movements, but he was feeling too good to care. The both of you were quite preoccupied anyway, it's not like you would notice his camera shaking anyway.
"Grab his cock pretty girl," Geto instructed, his eyes falling lower with his arousal, a warm heat flooding over his body. You looked over to the camera, making eye contact with Geto, who kept his unwavering eyes on yours, his eyes slightly glossed over with his arousal.
"Yeah- y-yeah, m-my cock, touch my cock-" Gojo jumped in, a drunken smile plastered on his face as he tried to look at you over his shoulder, his pink face nodding profusely. You looked away from Geto to look down between the white-haired man's legs, your eyes finding their target--being his long, thick cock that dangled heavily between his legs, a steady drip of pre-cum dripping from the tip of his cock each time your fingers hit his prostate.
"Been watching his poor cock leak since you started this, the tip is so red," Geto added, his voice failing to sound as unaffected as he would've liked. If Gojo was in the right headspace, he would've teased Geto at the fact that he just admits to staring at his cock throughout this whole endeavor, but alas, he was too busy drooling and whimpering against his sheets to tease anyone right now.
Blushing, you abandoned your hand that was placed on Gojo's soft ass to drop it between his legs. The second your lithe fingers wrapped around his neglected cock, his whole body jerked harshly, almost like it was trying to escape your hand. "Fuck-" Gojo grit, wincing at how sensitive his cock was from being neglected for so long.
"Oh shit, bet it's sooo much right now, huh?" Geto asked his best friend. Gojo's eyes found Geto's through the phone screen, tears welling up in his pretty blue eyes as you immediately fell into a quick rhythm, your hand jerking over his length at a pace that matched the one inside him. Gojo could only nod pathetically, his face scrunching in pleasure as your hand focused on his tip, jerking over the sensitive red head quickly, causing cute squelches to echo throughout the room.
"You're so wet, Satoru." You whispered in awe, your mouth dropping into a small o as you milked his cock, the pool of pre-cum on his sheets between his legs making it look like he had already cum several times--you had no idea how he still had so much to give.
Gojo's body jerked around, the tears that had welled up in his eyes finally fell down his rosy cheeks, over the slope of his nose, and joined together on his pillow. "Fuck- please p-please- Nghhh- A-ah-" He didn't know what he was begging for. He was unsure if he wanted you to stop, or give him more. All he knew is that it was all so fucking overwhelming; having everyone's attention on him.
"Talk to us Satoru, how's it feel?" Geto asked, his words coming out more like begs as he felt himself steadily approach his orgasm, his hand focusing on his tip just like yours was doing on Satoru's. "I- I don't know I- fuck it's so much- too much-" Gojo answered, his eyes twitching and rolling back in his head.
You showed no mercy, jerking your hand faster over the entire length of his cock you stood on your knees and pistoned your fingers into his prostate more directly with the new leverage, resulting in Gojo's ankles crossing and kicking up at the intense pleasure. "I thought you wanted it rough? Do you take it back? Want me to stop?" You asked teasingly, knowing you weren't going to let up even if he begged you to stop.
"No! Nonono don't stop p-please don't stop-" Gojo cried, his head jerking against his satin pillowcase as he fought through the intense pleasure, his body jerking and spasming without his permission. "He's a fucking mess, look what you did~" Geto laughed, his dick twitching with interest at Gojo's teary, drooling face.
"Ahhh- ah- right there- keep f-fucking me right there-" Gojo gasped, his hands digging into his pillow as his eyes squeezed shut, his orgasm welling up in his tummy. "I think he's gonna cum pretty, is his cock twitching?" Geto asked, knowing very well what the telltale signs of a man's orgasm were.
You nodded, Gojo's cock was throbbing profusely in your hand, and his tight hole was squeezing more consistently around your fingers as well, almost like a heartbeat--it was so cute. "Oh yeah, you're gonna cum aren't you Satoru? Gonna cum from a few fingers in your ass? Hmm?" Geto teased, taking a sharp inhale in through his teeth as his own hand sped up, his cock twitching in his hold.
Satoru nodded, unable to voice his thoughts. Unable to scream from the top of his lungs, "Yes! Yes, I'm going to cum!" Instead, his jaw fell completely slack, drool pooling out of his mouth and onto the sheets as you worked him right up to his orgasm.
"Me too, look at me Satoru, look at me." Just moments before Satoru was pushed over the edge from your merciless fingers, he cracked his teary eyes open and was faced with Geto's long cock filling up the expanse of the phone screen, his massive hand jerking quickly over his length, making it almost look blurry from how fast he was going.
The visual of his best getting off to his ass being pummeled was all Gojo needed to be pushed off the edge. With a high-pitched cry of your name, his shaky hand shot back to grip your wrist as the first rope of his orgasm shot out of his cock, adding to the pool of his cum already between his legs, soaking into the sheets.
His hole squeezed tightly around your fingers, acting as if he was trying to snap them off, keeping them deep inside him. “Don’t stop- D-don’t stop” He begged pathetically, his wrist being dragged with you as you kept thrusting into him, working him through his high.
You moaned with him in awe as his body was wracked with tremors, threatening to collapse against the sheets. “I won’t, I got you Toru, I got you.” You consoled, paying special attention to his tip as you milked him for all he was worth.
Gojo’s thick cum made a mess of your fingers. Most of his hot cum landed on the bed sheets, but when someone cums as much as he does, it only makes sense that you got some on your fingers.
“Oh fuck- so pretty-“ Geto groaned, his jaw muscles clenching under the weight of his teeth as he came. You and Gojo both watched as white streaks of cum landed on Geto’s abs and thighs, the squelching on his own cock got louder as his cum acted as lube over his cock, increasing the already messy slick on his length.
“I didn’t realize you were getting off to this Geto.” You said, your chest heaving with your own arousal as your eyes flit back and forth between Gojo’s tight hole and Geto’s cock on the screen.
Through his groans, you heard him laugh as you watched him wring out his cock, making sure all of his cum had released from his cock. “How could I not? You guys are so fucking hot.” His gruff voice spoke, the camera flipping back to his handsome face.
You and Gojo both silently mourned the loss of the view of Geto’s cock. Although it was fairly hard to be disappointed when his pale face came into view his cheeks dusted in a deep pink, sweat beading on his forehead, his chest heaving as he tried to recover from his orgasm.
“H-hey-“ Gojo whined, his strength returning to his body as he gripped your wrist he had a hold of, signaling you stop moving inside him. You mumbled a quick ‘sorry’, you had gotten distracted watching Geto cum, forgetting you were pleasuring your handsome roommate underneath you.
You slowly pulled your fingers out of his ass, Gojo whined dramatically at the loss, his hole clenching around you in sensitivity. “You don’t wanna let me go, do you?” You giggled, your fingers finally slipping free of his tight hole.
“Fuck no~” Gojo giggled, the cloudiness slowly clearing from his brain, allowing his signature snarkiness to come back to him. Geto laughed as he set his phone down, you watched out of the corner of your eye as he wiped his softening cock clean with a towel.
“Suguru~” Gojo called in a singsong voice, his body collapsing on his side, his cock twitching limply against the sheets. Your hands rubbed along his thighs as he relaxed into the bed, noticing how a cute red flush was also dusting along his thighs and shoulders. Adorable.
“Were you paying attention? You have to admit that looked nice, right~?” Gojo asked teasingly, raising his eyebrows at the dark-haired man through the screen. Gojo’s ability to bounce back from even the most intense prostate orgasm was astonishing.
“I think it looks nice on you, sure.” Geto laughed, throwing the towel he used to clean his cock to the floor, grabbing his phone back in his hand as he laid back against his bed, throwing his arm behind his head.
Gojo pouted, rolling on his back to look at you for help with puppy eyes. “What are you looking at me for?” You asked, sitting back on your heels as you jerked your head back, looking around the room for anyone else Gojo could be looking at.
“I thought you were gonna help me convince himmm.” Gojo drawled, his arms pushing himself up to sit on his ass as he reached out for you. You blushed as you let him pull you into his arms, your hands falling on his chest with a surprised noise as you sat on his thighs, just under his cock.
“I could only do so much you know…” You said, avoiding his eyes as his hands made a home on your upper thighs, stroking the skin teasingly. “Maybe you should‘ve cried a little harder!” Geto chimed in, winking into the camera.
Gojo pouted, wiping his hands over his still-wet cheeks to rid the evidence of Geto’s teasing. “So all of that was for nothing then?” Gojo asked, looking between the two of you incredulously, his hand that had whipped at his cheek slapping back down onto the skin of your thigh.
“No, not nothing,” Geto said, looking smugly into the camera. You and Gojo looked to Geto confused, waiting for him to elaborate. “I discovered how bad I wanna fuck you both. That’s not nothing, right?” Geto revealed nonchalantly, making you and Gojo’s jaws drop in tandem.
You felt your face heat up at his confession. Maybe you hadn’t convinced Geto to play with his ass just yet, but you had unknowingly convinced him to play with something even better.
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vanessagillings · 25 days
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I’m posting the ever-so-rare photo of myself alongside one of my characters based on my childhood because today is World Autism Acceptance Day, and I wanted to show my little corner of the internet who this particular autistic person is:  
I was officially diagnosed in February, at age 38 (I’m now 39). A lot of people thought I couldn’t be autistic.  Some people who know me in real life still don’t.  And until around 10 years ago, I didn’t think I could be either, because I was nothing like the stereotype media portrays. I was told that autistics lacked empathy (untrue), and never played make-believe (also often untrue) and only enjoyed STEM.  I was — and am — an empathetic artist -- and make believe?  I can spend days sketching finely bedecked bears brewing tea or carefully choosing the right words to weave tapestries of fiction — though perhaps my hyper focus was a bit of a red flag.  Even so, how could autism describe me?  I was a good student.  I got straight A's. I didn’t act out in class.  I can make eye contact…if I must.  And lots of girls hate having their hair brushed with an unholy passion, right?  Clearly I swim in sarcasm like a fish, so autism couldn't be why I was so anxious all the time, could it?
If someone had told me when I was younger what autism ACTUALLY is — instead of the nonsense I’d seen on screens — I would have seen myself in it.  I didn’t hear that autistics have sensory issues until I was in my mid-twenties, which is when I first began to really research autism symptoms, and I had almost all of them:  sensitivity to light, smells, fabrics, temperatures, textures, and certain touches, all of which make me feel anxious, I fidget (stim), I never know what the hell to do with my hands or where to look, I talk too little or too much, I have special interests, I have entire animated movies memorized shot-by-shot and can remember the first time and place I saw every movie I've ever seen but I often forget what I'm trying to say mid-sentence, I echo movies and tv shows (my husband and I have a whole repertoire of shared echolalias, making up about 20% of our conversations), I was in speech therapy as a kid, I have issues with dysnomia and verbal fluency, I toe-walk, I can't multitask to save my life, I like things just-so, I’m deeply introverted but not shy, I need to recover from all social interaction — even social interaction I enjoy — and I find stupid, every day things like grocery shopping, driving and making appointments overwhelming and intensely stressful, sometimes to the point where I struggle to speak.  It turns out, I am definitely autistic. My results weren't borderline. Not even close. And while these aren’t all of my challenges, and not everyone with these symptoms is autistic, it’s definitely something to look into if you present with all of these things at once. 
So why did it take me so long to get diagnosed? The same bias that exists in media threads through the medical community as well, and because I'm a woman who can discuss the weather while smiling on cue, few people thought I was worth looking into. Even after I was fairly certain I was autistic, receiving an official diagnosis in the US is unnecessarily difficult and expensive, and in my case, completely uncovered by my insurance.  It cost me over $4000, and I could only afford it because my husband makes more money than I do as a freelance illustrator — a job I fell into largely because it didn’t require in-person work; like many autists, I have been chronically underemployed and underpaid, in part due to physical illness in my twenties, which is a topic for another day.  But it shouldn’t be like this.  It shouldn’t be so hard for adults to receive diagnoses and it shouldn’t be so hard for people to see themselves in this condition to begin with due to misinformation and stereotypes. Like many issues in America, these barriers are even higher for marginalized groups with multiple intersectionalities. 
It’s commonly said that if you’ve met one autistic person, you’ve met one autistic person.  This is why it’s called a spectrum, not because there’s a linear progression of severity (someone who appears to have low support needs like myself might need more than it seems, and vice versa), but because every autistic person has their own strengths and weaknesses, challenges and experiences, opinions and needs.  No two people on the spectrum present in the same way.  And that’s a good thing!  No way of being autistic is inherently any better than any other, and even if someone on the spectrum struggles with things I don’t — or can do things I can’t — doesn’t make them more or less deserving of respect and human dignity.
But speaking solely for myself, the more I learn about autism, the happier I am to be autistic.  I struggle to find words and exert fine motor control, but my deep passion and fixation has made me good at art and storytelling anyway.  I find more joy watching dogs and studying leaf shapes on my walks than most people do in an entire day.  More often than not, the barriers I’ve faced weren’t due to my autism directly, but due to society being overly rigid about what it considers a valid way of existing.  My hope in writing this today is that maybe one person will realize that autism isn’t what they thought — and that being different is not the same as being less than. My hope with my fiction is to give autistic children mirrors with which to see themselves, and everyone else windows through which to see us as we actually are.
If you’re interested in learning more about autism or think you might be autistic, too, I recommend the Autism Self Advocacy Network  autisticadvocacy.org and the following books:
What I Mean When I Say I’m Autistic by Annie Kotowicz
We're Not Broken by Eric Garcia
Knowing Why edited by Elizabeth Bartmess
Unmasking Autism by Devon Price, PhD
Loud Hands edited by Julia Bascom
Neurotribes by Steve Silberman
(trigger warning: the last two contain quite a lot of upsetting material involving institutionalized child abuse, but I think it’s important for people to know how often autistic children were — and are — abused simply for being neurodivergent).
Thanks for reading 💛
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st7rnioioss · 9 days
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౨ৎ⋆ ˚。⋆ 3 times chris recorded you waking up, 1 time nick recorded both you and chris
chris sturniolo x reader
warnings: fluff, kissing, swearing, intentional lowercase, not proofread
a/n: heeello lovely peopleeeee. idk i got really tired but then this idea popped into my head so i just started writing my fingers off.
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1 ࿔*:・
chris couldn’t contain his laughter, trying to giggle as silently as he pressed record on his phone. on his screen, you were in the spotlight, laying on your side as you peacefully slept, which was about to be interrupted by chris and his new obsession: recording you sleeping.
“y/n. y/n, wake up!” chris whispered, shaking your shoulder with one hand, watching you stir around in bed with a groan.
you hugged your pillow a bit tighter, turning your back on chris in an attempt to make him stop shaking your shoulder. chris couldn’t stop giggling, both because he found this stupid as fuck, but also because you looked so adorable to him.
“y/n, it’s time to get up. say hi to the vlog,” chris joked, obviously not planning on sharing this with anyone but you and himself, motioning the camera closer to your face. “what? chris, fuck off,” you groan, keeping your eyes closed but eyebrows furrowed in annoyance.
he kept shaking your shoulder, basically pressing his phone up in your face as you opened your eyes slowly.
“there she is, say hi to youtube!” chris laughed, now a little louder due to you being awake. or atleast, a little awake. “go to hell!” you mumble, pushing his phone away with one hand, letting a tiny smile tug at your lips.
chris picked his phone up, placing it on the nightstand as he slumped on top of you.
“ow, what the fuck. chris, i’m sleeping and you’re heavy,” you trailed off, trying to push chris off your back. “no. i’m comfortable,” chris protested, wrapping his arms around your waist as he got even more comfortable on your back, pressing soft kisses against your back.
little did chris know, the video was still going, capturing the.. ‘conversation’ you were having.
2 ࿔*:・
"y/n! wake up, immediately!" chris whisper-yelled, patting your head with one hand, the other holding his phone.
you were cuddled up in your shared bed, sprawled out on the huge mattress. a few teddies chris had gotten you over the years were also thrown around the bed. you opened one eye, seeing chris in front of you with faux-concern plastered on his face, which you couldn't tell from your tired state.
within a few seconds, your head shot up in pure terror. "what? what is it?" you mumbles, growing concerned. chris's tone was different from normal, so you were ready for any sort of horrific thing to have happened to something or someone.
chris then burst into laughter, now realizing he was holding his phone out, directing it at your face.
"chris! this isn't funny, i thought someone was hurt! fuck you, i was having the best dream of my life!" you groaned, plopping down onto your pillow as chris continued to laugh.
he then stopped, feeling bad for pissing you off.
"no, no! i'm sorry, baby. i was just fooling around," chris tried to hide his laughter, shutting his phone off as he laid down beside you in bed.
"i hate you," you mumbled back with a grin, pressing an angry-loving kiss to his forehead, before turning back around to continue your sleep.
"did you save the video, though?"
3 ࿔*:・
chris had seen a specific video on tiktok that he wanted to try out with you: puckering his lips in front of you while you're asleep, in attempt to get your immediate reaction.
he was having way too much fun with this. slowly, he made his way out of bed so he could face you, sitting on his knees on the floor to record you and his face on the edge of the bed.
with a giggle, he leaned in to pucker his lips, making sure to tap your shoulder a few times to wake you. at first, nothing happened, but as he tapped your shoulder again, you opened your eyes groggily to find chris’s lips puckered right in front of your eyes.
almost as an instinct, you reached out to cup his cheeks with both of your hands, kissing his lips passionately, before pulling away with a dazed smile.
chris simply couldn’t keep still, he was way too giddy because he has captured that moment on video.
“oh my god, you’re such a goof,” he laughed, his cheeks burning a reddish color as he stopped the video to lean forward, making you open your eyes again as you felt him kneel on the bed right on top of you.
“what..?” you whispered, but before you got an answer, chris was attacking you with kisses again. on your forehead, lips, cheeks, neck, nose even.
he didn’t seem to want to pull away, firmly grabbing your jaw with one hand, the other grabbing your cheek, as the kiss gradually got more heated.
“i’m not having morning sex with you today. goodbye, kind sir,” you giggled, now fully awake as you turned your body away from him, forgetting he was on top of you.
“uh, no?” chris scoffed with a grin, leaning down to kiss you again.
the rest is.. history. but chris kept that video, and oh boy, how many times he would rewatch it.
1 time nick recorded you ࿔*:・
you were currently spending the weekend at a hotel in texas with the triplets. they were going to spend the next few days filming a video with sam and colby, and chris had begged you to go with them, because apparently he needed you to hold his hands while they filmed the spooky content in a haunted hotel.
both you and chris were fast asleep in your shared bed, matt still sleeping in the one a little further in the hotel room.
nick though, was awake, and recently he had grown more familiar with chris’s fun and games, so he decided it would be funny to tease the both of you a little.
“y/n. chris. do you want a sip?” nick asked, waving a bottle of lemonade in front of your heads, recording you and chris in bed.
chris was spooning you, arms wrapped around your waist as you slept. during the night he always found ways to pull you closer, even though you weren’t sure that was possible.
“do you want a sip or not?” nick kept going, hiding his laughter as you both started shifting around. 
eventually, chris opened his eyes to see what was going on, still too tired to process anything.
chris’s shifting from behind made you more conscious, opening your eyes to see a bottle of lemonade in front of you, a camera facing you just a few inches behind it.
“hm?” you hum, closing one of your eyes due to the light. “do you want a sip?” nick giggled, still waving the bottle in front of you as he shoved the camera up your faces.
“of what, nick?” chris asked, annoyance evident in his voice, being able to tell even from your very tired state. “it’s like, a lemonade,” nick whispered, dangling the bottle in front of face, nearly hitting your nose.
“are you fucking stupid?” chris grumbles, pulling you in a little tighter, grabbing the cover to pull it up to your noses. immediately, you closed your eyes again, turning around so you were facing chris’s chest.
“you guys are so boring, what the fuck.” nick rolled his eyes, still recording the both of you as you flipped him off, signaling to leave you alone to sleep.
nick decided to add that video to the weekly friday photodump. a few weeks later, your entire for you page was filled with edits, comments, clips, of you and chris. you didn’t really expect it because you had practically forgotten about it since you were so tired when all of it went down.
chris seemed to enjoy it thoroughly.
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a/n: hello again🌝 this is rlly rushed, sorry😞
overall, i’m sorry for the inactivity. i’ve been to meetings, school is taking up all my time, plus exams are on their way. so so sorry!!!💞💞
taglist: @chrissgirlsstuff @leah-loves-lillies @toriinie @cupidzsq @lacysturniolo @iluvmattyb @ratatioulle @emma4eva @riasturns @sstvrnioloo @sweetbabydoe @elliewrites1 @its-jennarose @abbypost @chrisstopherfilmed @sturniolossss @ducksturniolo @junnniiieee07 @klaus223492 @urfavvev3lyn @vschrissturn @cicimayx @keerahsturn @sturniolololover @domaniquessidehoe @sturniolossss @orangelala @sturnioloslvtt@gwenloremain@k-l-a-w-s @pearlzier @pjmpcyy @mbsbaby
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pucksandpower · 9 months
Text
Grid Kids
Sebastian Vettel x wife!Reader x platonic!drivers
Summary: your adopted family may be chaotic but you wouldn’t change it for the world
Series Masterlist
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Max Verstappen: Jailhouse Rock
It’s an ungodly hour of the morning when your phone rings. You groan, fumbling blindly on the nightstand to silence the offender. The name glowing on the screen gives you pause: Max Verstappen.
“Seb,” you mumble, nudging your husband awake. “Max is calling. It’s 3 am.”
Sebastian grumbles something unintelligible, face squished into the pillow next to you.
“You take it,” you insist, poking him again, “I spent three hours on the phone with Lewis last night promising him that Roscoe doesn’t hate him for being left at home this weekend.”
Reluctantly, Sebastian sits up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He swipes to answer, his groggy voice filling the silent room. “Max, do you know what time it is?”
You hear a hurried explanation from Max’s end, something about a go-kart race, a party, and a tiny misunderstanding with local law enforcement. Your husband’s face becomes more incredulous with every word.
“Wait, you’re where?”
***
Ten minutes later, you find yourselves at the police station, bleary-eyed but amused. Max is sat behind bars, a sheepish look on his face.
“I promise, it wasn’t my fault,” he insists, blue eyes pleading.
You both manage to suppress your laughter. After signing a few papers, Max is free but the smug grin on Sebastian’s face tells you that he’s not going to let him off that easy.
“So, this is our life now?” you whisper to Sebastian, wrapping your arm around his. “Running a day care for unruly F1 drivers.”
He chuckles, giving you a light kiss on the forehead. “I think we make a pretty good team.”
Charles Leclerc: Open the Floodgates
It’s a stormy evening when your phone buzzes again. This time, it’s a text message from Charles Leclerc: Hey, can I crash at yours? My flat’s kind of … flooded.
Sebastian, reading over your shoulder, raises an eyebrow. “Flooded?”
Before you can respond, a photo arrives — Charles’ living room, a sea of murky water with floating furniture: Okay, maybe more than just kind of.
You look at each other, suppressing laughter. “Guess we’re running a bed & breakfast now too,” you comment, already texting Charles back: Come over. Bring a mop.
***
Not an hour later, there’s a knock at your door. Charles, drenched from head to toe, stands at your doorstep, carrying what appears to be a plant pot with a small, equally wet cactus.
“I saved the cactus,” he says, looking as pitiful as a drowned rat, albeit a very cute one. He offers a half-hearted shrug, “I didn’t want it to drown.”
Sebastian bursts out laughing, his contagious mirth echoing around the hall. You can’t help but join in, hugging your sides in an attempt to remain composed.
“Well, come in. We can’t have you and the cactus catching a cold.”
***
Over the next few days, you quickly adapt to the unexpected housemate situation. Charles proves to be a surprisingly tidy guest, always washing his dishes and even cooking dinner one night (although you had to discreetly order pizza after trying his special lasagna).
In the evenings, the three of you curl up on the sofa with Sebastian’s old race replays, laughing and teasing each other. And every night, before he goes to his bed in the guest room, Charles says goodnight to his cactus — the newest member of your eccentric family.
Lance Stroll: The Cat-astrophe
A week later, you get a frantic call from Lance Stroll. “Guys, I found this cat,” he says, panting heavily, “It was all alone in the alley and I couldn't just leave it there.”
The line goes silent for a moment before Lance coughs then sneezes loudly. “Uh, guys, I think I might be allergic ...”
***
When Lance arrives, the culprit — a tiny, scruffy looking kitten — is perched on his shoulder while Lance himself is a picture of misery: puffy eyes, runny nose, and all.
Between his sneezes, Lance pleads, “Can you please keep her until I figure out what to do? I can’t just abandon her.”
You glance at Sebastian, who looks at the tiny furball with a mixture of amusement and concern. He’s been a dog person all his life but how can you say no to those pleading green eyes?
And so, your home expands to accommodate another kid — this time, a four-legged one.
***
The next few days are full of chaos. The kitten — whom Lance named Speedy — turns out to be an agent of destruction, knocking over everything in her path and giving Charles’ cactus a few worrying near misses.
You try to give Lance advice on finding a new home for Speedy while dealing with cat-proofing your own. But, during the ensuing pandemonium, you can’t help but laugh.
George Russell: The Shrunken Sweater Saga
One sunny afternoon, George Russell bursts through the door, a panicked expression on his face. “Guys, something terrible happened!”
Sebastian and you exchange a concerned look, jumping up from where you were cuddled on the couch. “What is it, George?”
He holds up a shrunken cashmere sweater, once a luxurious wardrobe piece, now resembling something only a toy poodle could wear. “I accidentally put all my sweaters in the washing machine! They’ve shrunk!”
As the reality of the situation sinks in, you can’t help but chuckle. “George, you do know cashmere isn’t machine-washable, right?”
“I thought they were!” he laments, looking at his miniature sweater in disbelief.
Sebastian claps a hand on George’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, mate. We’ll figure this out.”
***
Over the next few days, you and Sebastian embark on a quest to save George’s beloved cashmere sweaters. Armed with online tutorials and gallons of fabric softener, you attempt various rescue techniques.
Some of the sweaters regain a semblance of their former glory while others are beyond saving. You present George with a colorful assortment of shrunken clothing which he accepts with an embarrassed grin.
***
A sudden thought strikes you and you can’t help but giggle. Holding up a particularly tiny sweater, you call out to Speedy.
“Look, Speedy! It’s your size!” you exclaim as you gently dress her in the shrunken garment. It fits her perfectly, making her look like the most stylish cat on the block.
The sight of Speedy strutting around in a cashmere sweater breaks all of you into laughter. Even George can’t help but chuckle, despite his heartbreaking loss.
***
In the following days, Speedy parades around the house, flaunting her new wardrobe. George’s shrunken sweaters have found a new purpose, and despite the initial panic, everything worked out in the end.
“This is the most high-fashion cat I’ve ever seen,” Sebastian comments one day, watching Speedy strut her stuff on the living room rug. “She should be on a runway.”
George, watching his beloved sweaters being put to good use, grins. “I think they look better on her than they did on me.”
Speedy watches you with a lazy stare, now comfortably nestled in her new family’s hearts (and cashmere sweaters).
Lando Norris: Call the Milk Man
It’s a lazy Sunday afternoon when the doorbell rings, jolting you out of your peaceful nap. Groggily, you stumble towards the door, pulling it open to reveal a sheepish-looking Lando Norris.
“Hi, I was just wondering,” he starts, shifting nervously from foot to foot, “Do you have some milk I could borrow? I ran out and the shops are closed.”
Suppressing a smile, you nod, motioning for him to wait while you go fetch the milk.
***
When you hand Lando the milk, he seems relieved. But then, he looks at the container quizzically. “Why is it in a glass bottle? Don’t you use cartons?”
Your laughter fills the hallway as you explain your household’s eco-friendly policy. Lando listens attentively, his previous discomfort replaced with genuine curiosity. You can tell he’s taking mental notes.
***
Over the next few weeks, Lando pops by more frequently. Sometimes he borrows more milk, other times he just wants to chat about sustainability, an interest sparked during his first milk visit.
One day, he arrives at your doorstep with a broad grin and a glass bottle in hand. “Look, I’ve switched to glass milk bottles too!”
Sebastian will be proud.
Mick Schumacher: Comfort in Company
One evening, you find Mick Schumacher sitting alone in your backyard, gazing at the stars. His usually cheerful face is thoughtful, his eyes a little glossy.
“Mick, everything alright?” you ask, settling down next to him on the grass.
He looks at you then at the stars again. “I just ... I miss my dad, you know?”
The silence hangs in the air, thick with emotions. You reach out, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. “It’s okay to miss him. You don’t have to hide it. Especially not here with us.”
He nods, wiping his eyes. “I know. It’s just some days it hits harder than others.”
You stay with him, listening as he talks about his dad, his memories both sweet and poignant. You realize that while you’ve adopted your grid kids into your chaotic family, they each come with their own sets of joys and sorrows.
***
Sebastian joins you two after a while and the three of you sit under the stars, sharing stories and remembrances. Mick smiles as Sebastian tells him stories about racing with Michael, the camaraderie they shared, and the respect they had for each other.
By the end of the night, Mick seems lighter, the earlier sadness replaced with a soft smile of remembrance. He thanks both of you for listening and understanding. “You guys really are like a second family to me.”
The Big Announcement
One sunny afternoon, you gather all your grid kids in the living room. The chatter is lively, the room buzzing with energy as they try to figure out why they’ve been summoned.
Sebastian gives your hand a reassuring squeeze as you both stand in front of your unconventional family.
“We’ve called you all here because we have some news,” you begin, heart pounding in your chest.
***
When you finally tell them you're pregnant, the room falls into a stunned silence, their wide-eyed expressions making you chuckle. But then, as the news sinks in, the silence is broken by whoops of joy and congratulations.
“Wow, so we’re going to be big brothers?” Max exclaims, while Lando jokes about teaching the baby to prank Sebastian, Mick looks almost teary-eyed with happiness, and George immediately volunteers for babysitting duties.
***
With your pregnancy announcement, your grid kids go into overdrive. They begin to dote on you in a way that’s both touching and a little overwhelming. From Charles insisting on cooking you healthy meals (despite his previous lasagna disaster) to Max bringing you comfortable pregnancy pillows, everyone tries to make you as comfortable as possible.
Lance even makes Speedy wear a bell around her neck in case she inadvertently startles you. The cat isn’t pleased but the sight of her jingling around the house keeps everyone entertained.
***
As the weeks go by, their concern borders on overprotectiveness. They fuss over you at the smallest things, like Max insisting on driving you to your doctor’s appointments because he’s “the fastest driver” or Lando continually adjusting the house temperature to ensure you’re never too hot or cold.
While their actions are well-intended, they often become hilariously excessive. One day, you find Mick baby-proofing the house even though the baby isn’t due for months. He sheepishly shrugs, “Just trying to be prepared.”
***
Despite the chaos, their actions stem from love and concern, which warms your heart. One evening, you find yourself surrounded by your grid kids as you sit in the living room, their laughter filling the air.
As you watch them, your hand gently resting on your growing belly, you can’t help but feel grateful. These young drivers, your grid kids, have become such a vital part of your life. Their genuine care and, at times, overzealous concern during your pregnancy only emphasize the strong bond you share.
Your family may not be traditional and your daily life may be filled with mayhem but it’s your life with Sebastian and the grid kids. It’s chaotic, hilarious, and unpredictable — and you wouldn’t trade it for anything else.
The Big Day
The day finally arrives when you’re rushed to the hospital. Sebastian is by your side, holding your hand through every contraction, while your grid kids anxiously wait in the waiting room, pacing and biting their nails.
A few hours later, when your newborn daughter makes her entrance into the world, Sebastian walks out to the young drivers, his eyes sparkling with joy and exhaustion. “You can meet her now.”
The joy and anticipation in the room is palpable as they rush in, crowding around the hospital room door in their eagerness.
The sight that greets them is nothing short of heartwarming. You’re in bed, looking tired but blissful, a tiny bundle nestled in your arms.
As they take turns holding the little one, their faces light up in awe. From Max’s gentle cooing to Lando’s finger being gripped by tiny hands to Mick’s unashamed happy tears to Charles’ whispered lullaby in French and George’s soft-spoken promise to be the “coolest brother,” the room is filled with a warm sense of family.
Even Speedy, smuggled into the hospital in Lance’s jacket, gets to sniff the newest human member of the family, much to the nurses’ chagrin.
A Baby in the Paddock
Several months later, the paddock welcomes an unexpected visitor — your baby daughter, wrapped snugly in a cute onesie with a tiny racing helmet print. As you push her stroller through the crowd, your grid kids and their fellow drivers are visibly smitten by the adorable sight.
Your grid kids instantly surround your daughter, their faces lighting up as they coo and make silly faces to elicit giggles. They take turns pushing her stroller and you can’t help but chuckle at their enthusiasm in their newfound roles as big brothers.
Sebastian, ever the proud father, looks on with warm amusement as he watches your daughter bond with her extended family.
***
Amid the hustle and bustle of the paddock, your daughter experiences her first pit stop as Charles and Lando try to change her diaper. Even Mick, the baby-proofing master, hovers nearby to ensure everything goes smoothly.
You can’t help but admire their dedication and the way they’ve embraced their roles as her protectors and playmates.
***
At the end of the day, you gather the whole group for a family photo. Your daughter, held by Max and Mick on either side, steals the show with her toothless grin.
As you look at the photo later, you realize that this quirky, chaotic family has grown and changed in the most beautiful ways. Your daughter has been embraced by these young drivers, who have become her brothers and protectors, just as they’ve become sons to you.
A New Racer on the Track
Years pass in the blink of an eye and soon your little girl is no longer a baby. She’s grown into a lively child with a love for speed, much like her father. Today, she’s ready to participate in her first karting race, and the whole gang — your grid kids now with seven World Championships between them — are here to support her.
As they gather around the track, an old joke resurfaces. Max points at a particular bend in the track, nudging Charles with a smirk. “Remember the inchident?”
Charles groans, rolling his eyes, “Not this again. It was years ago!”
Laughter breaks out among the group, their bond echoing through the years.
***
Before the race, each of your grid kids offers your daughter their sage advice. From Lando’s “always keep your cool” to George’s “remember to enjoy the ride,” her brothers are keen to impart their wisdom. Mick even attempts to show her how to properly do a pit stop, using a toy car and tiny plastic cones.
Your daughter, with a sparkling helmet almost too big for her head, listens earnestly, her wide eyes moving from one brother to the next.
When the race finally starts, your grid kids cheer on loudly, their voices carrying over the vroom of the karts. The sight of your daughter, determined behind the wheel of her tiny kart, brings a surge of pride and a few tears to your eyes.
As the race ends, your daughter crosses the finish line in third place, a beaming smile on her face. She’s welcomed back to the pit by a roaring cheer from her family, her brothers lifting her onto their shoulders.
***
That night, the celebration is filled with laughter, teasing, and an impromptu re-enactment of the inchident by Charles and Max, much to your daughter’s amusement.
Sebastian lifts his glass for a toast, “To our little racer, may you always find joy on the track. And remember, an inchident is only funny if it doesn’t happen to you.”
Laughter fills the room once again, and you can’t help but marvel at the love and joy surrounding you. These are the moments you cherish the most, moments of laughter and unity shared with this extraordinary, unconventional family.
As you watch your daughter being coddled and celebrated by her brothers, you realize that this legacy of love and support will always continue, and for that, you couldn’t be happier.
4K notes · View notes
signedkoko · 3 months
Note
Hi, hello, hey!! I just saw your Mammon x reader who calls him husband sometime and I loved it so much just- chefs kiss! If your willing, maybe a Vox x reader like that?
Vox X Reader [Romantic]
In which you refer to Vox as your husband, despite the fact that you aren't married. Genderneutral reader.
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It was your 7th anniversary, and as per he had planned out a lovely evening for the both of you
He made you breakfast in bed (one for himself too, so you could hang out)
Then you went out for brunch
A 4-hour couple spa retreat
And then he had a stylist ready to pamper you and prepare you for dinner
It was never a simple evening if it was anything important to you, Vox treated you like you'd been married your whole life
He never leaves the honeymoon phase
But at the same time, he's so distracted with the company and how well everything is going that he doesn't really think about change
Change is good, so long as it's for the better, but that's business talk!
The only change he concerns himself with when it comes to you is you being hurt or leaving him
If he can wake up every day by your side to you happy and healthy, then there's nothing to change
Vox gets to the restaurant before you just to make sure everything is perfect
Candles, a fresh bundle of flowers he bought right before, and a spritz of the cologne he knows you adore
When you looked around to find him and he waved you over, you dismissed yourself from the host
" Oh! I see my husband right over there. Thank you! "
As far as he was, he heard every little word
A snap of electricity sparks between his antennae
As you approach him, he is internally saving the audio and replaying it over and over in his head
' Oh! I see my husband—my husband—my husband—my husband— '
" Hell to Vox? "
The audio is turned down, but he's still replaying it as he snaps back to reality, a large grin on his illuminated screen
" Shit! Yeah. Hey, babe, you look amazing! "
Amazing was an understatement, but he was so flustered that you had almost caught him in his embarassing love-sick ways that he couldn't get his charm back on fast enough
Your favourite wine is poured fresh out of the bottle into a chilled glass by his twitching hand, but you're so long in conversation that you don't notice how shaky he is
Internally, he's already browsing for rings and setting up appointments with wedding planners
It's almost as if he just heard you say, 'I do', and there's no braking on this high-speed chase now
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Author's Note - I really loved this prompt on Mammon, and it suits Vox a lot too! Thank you so much for requesting, I hope its met your expectations!
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astonmartinii · 3 months
Text
reluctant cupid | lando norris social media au
pairing: lando norris x fem bff!reader
you could set your bestie up with a driver or you could confess your feelings? lando norris is dumb.
based on this request: Could you write something about being best friends with lando and he tries to help set you up with another driver you have a crush on, but then he realises he actually likes you so he has to sabotage all the wingmanning he’s done and you end up together Idk if that makes sense 😭🫶🏼🫶🏼 -@mbappesleftthigh
MASTERLIST | TIP JAR
yourusername
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liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri and 49,340 others
yourusername: someone please save me from the grips of hinge and this oh so lonesome life
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user1: girl knows the whole f1 paddock and looks like that and is still alone there is NO HOPE for me
user2: this post might have thrown me over the edge
landonorris: "i'm so lonely" "why don't you approach that guy" "no too scary"
user3: that's so real though
yourusername: thank you!
landonorris: how do you expect to find a boyfriend when you don't like to talk to anyone and treat hinge like a gameshow
yourusername: i didn't come here for actual advice let me commiserate in peace. god, can women have anything these days?
landonorris: ???
yourusername: oh! idea! pretty please set me up with one of your friends? they have to be great otherwise you wouldn't be friends with them, right? RIGHT?
landonorris: i guess...
yourusername: please lando, i've never asked for anything before
landonorris: i can feel you pouting through the phone
yourusername: so you'll consider ?
landonorris: fine...
user4: bro either gotta admit his feelings now or be condemned to be in the plot of a weird romantic comedy
user5: i personally don't think i can wait until the third act break up with this side character LANDO ACT NOW
oscarpiastri: you'd really trust lando's judgement?
yourusername: he's friends with me, he's got good taste?
oscarpiastri: touche
maxverstappen1: whatever you really wanna say oscar, you gotta keep it in, these idiots will figure it out eventually
yourusername: ???
landonorris: ???
user6: the grid are so done with their asses i can't 😭
user7: but what if the universe doesn't intervene and lando really has just lost the girl forever?
user8: bestie we can't be thinking like this
landonorris
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liked by carlossainz55, yourusername and 812,047 others
tagged: yourusername
landonorris: being back home means being bothered by her (and whatever is her newest hyperfixation - it's sylvanian families this month if you couldn't tell)
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user9: i am so sorry but they are so in love
user10: it's cute in the movies, but these blind bitches are starting to piss me off
yourusername: THEY CAN HEAR YOU, BE A BETTER DAD
landonorris: they're not my children
yourusername: you take that back right now, you LOVE them
landonorris: you spent my money on them yes
yourusername: that's fatherhood, buddy. buckle up
user11: whoever he sets her up (if he's still dumb enough to do that) is gonna be the biggest third wheel in history
user12: who would willingly sign up for that
user13: me. i would. i have two working eyes and have seen y/n
maxverstappen1: who are these funky little critters and how can i procure some for p?
yourusername: finally a man with sense, literally any grocery store or toy store
maxverstappen1: perf
yourusername: if lando stops being mr. grumpy i'll ask him if i can come to a race and p and i can play animal families
landonorris: i am NOT mr. grumpy
maxverstappen1: you kinda are dude. is it the set-up is it stressing you out?
landonorris: nO
yourusername: then why are you putting it off !!! lando i might die from terminal yearning !!!
landonorris: i have an interested candidate
yourusername: really? do you think they'll actually like me? like this isn't a pity date right?
landonorris: nope!
user14: lando is typing through tears as we speak
user15: if y/n does go on a date with someone from the paddock i actually hope it goes well, as one lonely girl to another, it's tough out here we need one win
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f1wagupdates
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liked by user18, user19 and 11,043 others
tagged: yourusername & carlossainz55
f1wagupdates: turns out lando is a bit of a cupid as his childhood friend y/n y/ln was spotted out and about with carlos sainz.
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user20: HE ACTUALLY DID IT
user21: that moment when you're so down bad for a girl that you set her up with your best friend
user22: that moment when you're such a wimp you can't admit your feelings and set up the girl you like with a literal GREEK GOD
user23: i am so bamboozled by this move he literally looked like a kicked puppy on his stream bro this is your doing 😭
user24: she's a lover girl she's going to get her heart broken :(
user25: this has mess written all over it
user26: she's literally described herself as a terminal yearner i feel like she'll throw herself in and will get hurt
user27: UNLESS! this is all part of the plan? what if lando set her up with a messy guy like carlos so he can be the shoulder to cry on and that's how he slides in?
user28: that's very convoluted, very rom-com but i'll take it if it means we get lando and y/n together in the end
user29: i know this probably won't last long but can we all appreciate how hot this couple is?
user30: lando and y/n runs rings round y/n and carlos
user31: lol lando is a bad friend for setting her up with CARLOS him and charles are THEE red flags
user32: i hope y/n is prepared
user33: also lando hasn't thought it fully out if his plan is to be the shoulder to cry on because he's just opening her up to be called a homie hopper or a paddock bunny
carlossainz55
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liked by charles_leclerc, pierregasly and 702,554 others
carlossainz55: productive weekend with my girl
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user34: well that's not y/n
user35: that finished faster than i expected
user36: lando DO NOT quit your day job
landonorris: call me bro
carlossainz55: si, cabron
user37: i don't think they'll be cabrons after this call
user38: maybe this is all just going to plan?
user39: yall gotta give up this conspiracy theory maybe these people are just as dumb and mean as they seem to be
user40: soooooo... what did we all do this weeekend?
user41: i broke a girl's heart @carlossainz55 twins 👯‍♂️
user42: AHHHH???
maxverstappen1: oh that's not-
yourusername: you're so chronically online :(
maxverstappen1: you're alive?
yourusername: yes. coming at you live from the bed i'm currently rotting in
maxverstappen1: not going to say i didn't warn you?
carlossainz55: really? in my own comment section?
yourusername: one second, we're having a conversation here
maxverstappen1: yeah carlos, gosh.
carlossainz55: i'm so confused
user43: okay power move to just start a conversation in his comments?
user44: the power of confusion is simply unmatched
yourusername
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liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 56,309 others
yourusername: certified boy hater
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user45: a ferrari boy will do that to you
landonorris: feeling hashtag victimised rn
yourusername: obviously doesn't include you girlypop. but you seriously need to reevaluate your judgement
landonorris: carlos is attractive?
yourusername: he ghosted me?
carlossainz55: i am right here
yourusername: blocked.
landonorris: did you actually just block him?
yourusername: yes 😀 !
landonorris: god this is a nightmare
yourusername: not if you'd take a GOD DAMN HINT
landonorris: WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?
user46: yall this is a public instagram comment section
user47: don't say that, this is their argument in the rain moment
user48: lemme grab the popcorn 🍿
maxverstappen1: this better not include the real number one girlypop here
yourusername: of course not pookie
oscarpiastri: you gonna continue the lil spat above this?
yourusername: no?
oscarpiastri: well some people (max and i) would like to listen so please continue
yourusername: no, i don't think i will
oscarpiastri: GOD YOU PEOPLE ARE INSUFFERABLE
maxverstappen1: what oscar said
user49: oscar and max are so real
user50: they can't leave us on this cliff hanger
landonorris
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liked by yourusername, danielricciardo and 1,043,788 others
landonorris: some snaps from '23
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user51: have we just been thirst trapped?
user52: i don't think it was intended for us
user53: this has "i am hotter than carlos sainz" written all over it
yourusername: posting tits on main, brave.
landonorris: i came second in singapore.
yourusername: sureeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. modesty, ever heard of it lan?
landonorris: slutshaming isn't cute y/n
yourusername: you kinda have to pull to be a slut lan. you are under qualified for the position
landonorris: if you keep being mean to me i will call your mum or my mum.
yourusername: try it. i see cisca more than you, i have faith in her
landonorris: the line is busy. are you on the phone to MY mum right now?
yourusername: maybe.
user54: we're so close to them getting their heads out of their asses
user55: don't get my hopes up
danielricciardo: i hope this works lol
landonorris: you don't think i'm sexy?
danielricciardo: it doesn't matter what i think
landonorris: i'm not sexy :(
danielricciardo: you're baiting me but yes, you are sexy.
user56: i'll fight anyone who made this man believe he's not beautiful
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user57: I SAW THAT 📸
user58: someone just lock them in a cupboard at this point
oscarpiastri: noted.
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yourusername
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liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 89,034 others
tagged: landonorris
yourusername: yeah, yeah. you can stop yelling at us now.
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user61: LET'S FUCKING GO
user62: it was worth all that yelling. i expect an invite to the wedding now.
user63: wedding? girly they only just realised their feelings after a DECADE
maxverstappen1: it was about fucking time
yourusername: okay miss ma'am. some people are EMOTIONALLY VULNERABLE AND NOT VERY GOOD AT PROCESSING THEM
maxverstappen1: you must've been emotionally constipated because this was painful
yourusername: it was painful for me too
maxverstappen1: so painful that you dated CARLOS
yourusername: one date! ONE!
maxverstappen1: carlos said can you unblock him so he can be mean to me?
yourusername: fine.
carlossainz55: STOP MAKING ME LOOK LIKE A BAD PERSON. YES I AM NOT THE BEST AT RELATIONSHIPS BUT LEAVE ME BE
maxverstappen1: lol
yourusername: lol
user64: unblocking carlos to hit him with the lol max and y/n might be more iconic than lando and y/n
landonorris: not on our relationship announcement post 🤨
user65: OOP.
landonorris: i love you doofus
yourusername: i love you too muppet
landonorris: how much was the betting pool for your family?
yourusername: it got to over £300
landonorris: ours was £750
yourusername: are we dumb?
landonorris: no!
oscarpiastri: two dumbass girls saying 'yass' to each other
yourusername: LEAVE US BE
landonorris: oscar :(
user66: not their own families betting on when they'd get together 😭
landonorris
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liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 1,430,778 others
tagged: yourusername
landonorris: first win, hopefully not my only one.
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user67: MY BABIES
user68: i feel like i've been on this journey with them
oscarpiastri: thank god you guys got your shit together, i was THIS close to jumping out the nearest window if i had to watch lando mope around like a kicked puppy when y/n had the lil thing with carlos
user69: so it wasn't some grand plan?
oscarpiastri: no he's just dumb enough to actually set up his first love with his best friend
landonorris: OSCAR!
oscarpiastri: am i wrong?
landonorris: no... but! i got there in the end
oscarpiastri: good thing you're faster on track
user70: the grid being just as done with them as us is killing me
maxfewtrell: finally this unnecessarily long and overly convoluted saga has come to and end, lets never do this again!
landonorris: i'm locked in for life bro no worries
yourusername: awwwwwwwwwwwwww i love you too bubs
maxfewtrell: stop being sappy under my comment
yourusername: you just complained we didn't sort out our shit fast enough and now we're too sappy?
landonorris: STICK TO A STORY BOZO
maxfewtrell: now you're even more ride or die... can we go back?
yourusername: nope!
landonorris: nope!
maxverstappen1: i for one am very happy for you both
yourusername: thank you max !!
landonorris: not so fast, he had the biggest bet on us in the paddock
yourusername: get that bag sis
landonorris: ???
yourusername: we can't fight it anymore, let them have their jokes, we actually have each other now :)
landonorris: yes we do :) xx
user71: golly gosh this is so fucking cute
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fin.
note: i hope this is what you were looking for and that you all enjoyed!! i'm just waiting on my tester sticker sheets for my small business @badlydrawnf1cats on here and on instagram, if you wanna give it a follow x tHANK YOU FOR READING MY LOVES X
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