#i don't CARE what their birthname is if they don't use it anymore!! not my business!!!!!! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hopelesscatdad · 10 months

Text

15 questions, 15 mutuals game

Are you named after anyone? - Birthname: no. At least I don't think so. Chosen name: yes, named after Marionette.

When was the last time you cried? When Blip broke down 57 miles from home around a week ago, and heard even with insurance towing would cost 370 bucks. I was in a TV store owned by a couple old men kind enough to let me hang out until I could figure out a way home.

Do you have any kids? No. I don't want any either right now.

What's the first you notice about people? - are they happy and are they honest? I can still be friends with someone super depressed and such, but so far every time I've agreed to date people like that I've turned into their therapist or was ghosted. If we're in a dedicated relationship, stable life, and something happens or my partner falls into such a state I will be there to support them. But rn I'm a young adult trying to figure life out. I can't play therapist on top of everything going on rn to someone I only recently started to interact with. Which is why new rule is I'm no longer even giving a chance to people who say they aren't ready but want to try. I don't have time for that.

What's your eye colour? - honey brown. No seriously. Under light my eyes become an almost gold color.

Do you use sarcasm a lot? All the time. It's why I'm so big on specifying when I'm dead serious.

Where were you born? - a wonderful hellhole called Sacramento. They have wild peacocks on the streets there.

Scary movies or happy endings? - these aren't mutually exclusive. You can have a terrifying movie with a happy ending.

Any special talents? - I can draw really good in various styles I just can't ever pick one. I'm also really good at writing too. Just need to find the inspiration.

What are your hobbies? - writing, drawing, reading, listening to music, driving, scrolling through tumblr. Playing old PC games. Photography.

Have you got any pets? - technically not anymore. My grandma does have a cute golden terrier though. The same breed as Toto in The Wizard of Oz.

What sports do you play/have you played? - when i was 5 I did soccer for one summer. Never did sports again.

How tall are you? - 5’5"

Favourite subject in school? - English. I'd say History but it never goes in depth and often isn't accurate. I always learned way more studying independently.

Dream job? - don't have one. Whatever gets me enough money to keep caring for Blip, get a small cottage and maybe even own a Hudson Hornet.

Idk if I have 15 mutuals I'll tag everyone I know though(no pressure)

@fork-bork @kckachow @hexamoron @apollo11fangirl @galaxyisnthere @rollingwheels @goldendiie @starlysammie @hudson-whorenet @bootleg-cal-weathers @racer62 @chickthiccs @purplerae364

Idk probably missed someone I'm tired this is fine no pressure again.

#ask game #questions #learn random shit about me #and maybe fall in love with me #/sarcasm #maybe

4 notes · View notes

sherlock-is-ace · 3 years

Text

#yesterday was my birthday and idk if that's why but i'm in a ''fuck it'' mood #like i don't care about anything else #i was very dysphoric and kinda weird yesterday since relatives got in touch and they all used my birthname and pronouns #but i have decided to just fuck everything and not care anymore #23 might be the age when i come out to everyone and then say fuck them if they're shitty #i'm gonna go paint my nails even tho that kinda makes me dysphoric #you know what? i'm not a girl but i do enjoy stereotypically feminine things #and so what?!#i've been seeing a lot of pictures of edvin ryding with his nails painted and i'm like yeah me too sweetie #imma paint my nails wear my binder and get buff #and maybe even a job if god is kind lol #this is gonna be 23 for me #might my ''fuck it'' energy last🥂#angel talks #personal

13 notes · View notes

vermillioncrown · 2 years

Text

we never had a birthname for mxy, right?

ha hahahaha

"xuanyu, your cultivation knowledge isn't bad at all," the praise came out from his own voice, with wei wuxian's inflection.

control over the arms were also ceded over to his senior, and the hands were turned over, eyes trailing down one marred forearm and another unmarked. fingers touched the raised, furiously red scars and mo xuanyu felt a sour heartache pulse from wei wuxian's mind.

"cultivation foundation, too," wei wuxian added.

"you have been helpful," lan wangji's solemn voice interjected. "gratitude must be given."

mo xuanyu couldn't help the uncomfortable feeling, like being too large for one's own clothes, that followed hearing those words. even if he only heard them as echoes, removed from the surface of control of the body as he was, wei wuxian was insistently pushing the sentiment towards him.

"we can be called something like... close friends now, can't we?" wei wuxian tended the fire as he spoke aloud, "confidantes, as lan zhan and i are." wheedling in his voice never seemed so - philanderer father that he was, jin guangshan and his choice of bedmate always passed on genes that resulted in beautiful children. wei wuxian has learned to use the body to great effect.

"xuanyu, can we not address each other more intimately?"

what's the use of naming something that's transient? the frustration of the thought wells up, and he is unable to contain the whole of it. a hand reaches up reflexively, gripping the bottom half of the face.

"you can't leave!"

lan wangji is by wei wuxian's side instantly, firm hand guiding another away from a bruising grasp.

"wei ying, let go," he says. be it meaning the hand on the face, or letting his spirit go - mo xuanyu can't tell it apart.

"i can't," wei wuxian answers to both, "it's as they say - the yiling laozu is a monster, a terrible person; but i can't let you do this, mo xuanyu. even - even at the very least, for my shijie's son."

the thing with being an intangible spirit was that there was nowhere to truly hide. barring access to exorcism or suppression talismans (of which wei wuxian would never let himself near anymore), mo xuanyu was an unwilling audience to everything.

"jin ling cares for you, no matter what he says. i can't take another person away from him."

guilt. there was enough of it to make him sick, even without a body. perhaps the longest lasting feeling mo xuanyu has had, besides the pervasive wrongness of thrice surviving, was guilt.

the right arm, control pulled and easily given, reaches for a branch. a medium of dirt forgives any inelegance in the strokes.

莫欽 - mo qin

while it takes wei wuxian a few moments to digest the sight, lan wangji's grip on the other arm tightens.

"that... is -" even with his usual reticence, the loss for words is apparent. "your mother did not -"

no, my aunt spread it around before my mother could get a word in edgewise. to admire, to respect, to adore - why shouldn't this child be, she'd say sweetly? one of such noble birth?

my mother took it as another knife to her chest by family.

"it was his aunt," wei wuxian confirms out loud. "that madame mo."

lan wangji lets go of the other arm, and moves to strike the name from the dirt. the vehemence of the action looks alien, through layers of perception, to mo xuanyu.

he turns to face wei wuxian, taking off his outer robe to swing over the body's shoulders. "it does not have to carry her spite." his imploring look, the insistence in his tone - they all demand attention. "you are worthy of praise. of admiration -"

"don't take it to heart," mo xuanyu cuts through lan wangji's words prematurely. he can feel wei wuxian's muted amusement, and something else in the background. "i don't."

a pause, and lan wangji reaches back over to adjust the outer robe higher on the body's shoulders. "... as mo qin says, then."

#zyx au's #mdzyx #z!mo xuanyu #the character 'qin' means to admire/praise/adore - so good things #but it's written in two parts: 'jin' for gold; 'qian' for lack of/to owe #basically a not-so-subtle dig at second mme mo for being pumped and dumped by jgs and mxy being unwanted #don't worry i'm doing work just using this as a lunch/work break

43 notes · View notes

fanfictrashdump · 4 years

Note

Uhh for the writing thing maybe some really angsty tensimm like with the master knowing he's broken and not believing he's worth saving and the doctor being like,,,, its ok??? If that makes sense

Firstly, thanks for the request! It gave me a good excuse to brush up on my Simm’s-era DW. I’m not sure if this was what you had in mind (and I apologize if it’s not–my writer’s block is bananas), but it’s pretty angsty, maybe a little hopeful. Secondly, it may not fit in very well to the canon, but I think that’s half the fun of it. I used the fanon versions of their real names because, why not? (Basil, the fake name the Doctor told Osgood, and Koschei) Hope you enjoy!

Damn it. Damn it! Damn him. Damn him over and over again until the very last breath of his very last regeneration.

Why did he always do this?

Why was he always so excitedly reckless?

"You can hide in the shadows all you want, Doctor. I've known you all our lives. I know when you're lurking," the Master hissed, though his tone lacked any acidity or true hatred.

And, how could he hate the Doctor? He was his best friend. His only friend, some would say.

The Doctor had traveled through all of time and space. He had visited every last of his companions, leaving little gifts and reminders of the adventures that would come and the love he held for each and every one of them. After all, never in all his years had he ever met anyone who wasn't important. In the privacy of his TARDIS, he would admit that there was one he valued above all the rest even when he was at constant odds with them. That didn't mean that they ever strayed very far from each other at any point in time.

Time was the glue that held them together.

He remembered it as if it were yesterday. It could have been yesterday, for all he knew, for all he had traveled. Two little boys–Time Lords, the two of them–, walked the empty fields behind their mentors on their way to the Schism. They held hands, both shaking like leaves from the stories the older children had told them–how some people went mad, how others turned into monsters, how a select few died.

Who in their right mind thought eight years old's were ready for a glimpse into the very fabric of the known Universe?

Small and straight-haired, the Master–well, he wasn't the Master then–collected all the bravery he had, and peered into the Untempered Schism first, volunteering to make sure it was safe for his friend. "Oh, wow. You've got to see this, Bas." The boy's voice was brimming in awe at watching the Universe unfurl. Everything that was and ever could be swimming past his eyes, ripe for the taking.

The other, blond as the sun and wildly unconvinced, managed to crack his eyes open, and look. For a long while, his mouth hung open, but no sound came out.

"Can you hear that?" Master asked, face furrowing into a frown as he bent to peer closer. Beside him, his friend found his voice, shrieked, turned tail, and ran.

And he never stopped since.

The Doctor stepped out of the shadows, shedding his trench coat and hanging it over his arm. The brown pinstripe suit looked disheveled, but there wasn't much to do about that when he was about to die. The Master laughed, knocking back a sip of the amber liquid that swirled curiously in a cut crystal glass. It didn't quite look like whiskey, but the Doctor wasn't all that interested in it. Only in the tired expression behind the hazel eyes wearily following him.

"Schism got your tongue, Doctor?"

With a dry chuckle, the Doctor clicked his tongue and sighed. "No. Just wondering how you went from this to that euphoric mania I saw before–after–whatever."

The Master smiled knowingly. "Don't be like that! Tell me, was I brilliant? Did I shine? Did I make a lasting impression on you?"

"Stop it!" The was a snarl to his lips as he stomped closer to the would-be villain of his story.

The sadistic glimmer seemed to fill his countenance at the heated response. "Did you mourn? Did it hurt? Or did you run?"

He tossed the trench coat aside, landing on an extra chair. "I wouldn't have to mourn you if you stopped being such a stubborn old pest!"

The Master chuckled, taking another sip and plopping into an old leather armchair by the fireplace. "I see you still have an aversion to cussing, Bas."

"Koschei." The man in the armchair tensed at the sound of his birthname. It had been eons since he heard it last. "Don't do this. It's just us two left, don't–don't leave me with this whole Universe."

"You left me first!"

"We were eight! I was scared! And then you went off and turned into whatever the hell it is you are now. The Master; the gall of you!" There were tears in his eyes and the regeneration energy flickered as he doubled over to breathe.

In a flash, the Master was on his feet, abandoning his glass on the desk to lead the Doctor to a chair. It was an action out of character for the persona he had created, the cartoon villain he crafted for the world. Chaos and anarchy had always been his cup of tea, though he still held a soft spot for his best friend. "Why are you fighting the regeneration?"

Hair flew into the Doctor’s eyes as his head snapped up, face full of disbelief. "I don't know, why would anyone be that stupid?"

A scoff escaped the Master. "You know I can't do this anymore, Doctor. I was ready to be done with this life when I was fifteen, and I am no less done with it now."

The Doctor caught the front of the Master's crisp white button-up shirt just as he made to leave. "I can help you. I know why you hear the drums. We can figure out how to fix it. Together. Please." If anything in the Universe was true, it was that the Doctor was not afraid to beg.

"And do what? Save the little planet you love so much from every little thing? Go watch the end of the world for the millionth time? Pick flowers on Flora and skip through fields? That won't happen!" He assured, just short of angry. "As soon as they hear my name, they will flee; they will attack. Fixing me won't erase the damage I've inflicted on the world. You're saving a broken record from a fire."

"A broken record can still play."

"It can play the same bit over and over again. The same death and destruction. Is that what you want?"

"You know it's not."

He sighed, bowing his head until it rested on the Doctor's shoulder, blinking away stinging tears as the noise in his head became louder and louder. It seemed to intensify with every ebb of the orange glow that surrounded the Doctor. It was nearly his time, so it was his own, as well. "You should go, Doctor."

"No. Not until you swear to me that you will come back." The Master went to protest, but the Doctor beat him to it. "I don't care if it's out of sight. If it's without me. I don't care if this decision comes back to haunt me a million times. Just don't leave me."

The Master laughed quietly, though tears were making tracks down his cheeks. He ruffled the Doctor's hair, taking in the quiet intensity of those brown eyes that wanted to pin him down in place. "You always did care too much. Running away, but doubling back to make sure I was following." His hand moved down to pat his cheek. "You have to stop worrying about me. You can't save them all, Doctor." He caught a lone tear that managed to escape the Doctor's carefully controlled tear ducts, all the while ignoring the quiet sniffling that betrayed his stoicism. Another wave of energy thrummed and enveloped the other Time Lord in orange. "You have to go. You can't hold on any longer."

"But–"

"I'll think about it. For you, Bas. It's not a promise." He stood, straightening up with hastily wiping at his eyes to compose himself. "Go. Now. Before you ruin the place regenerating."

The Doctor did not have much time to consider whether or not the Master would take his offer. Hurtling towards the earth in a burning TARDIS on the Scottish country tended to do that. In the middle of that field, however, the Master's body clambered out of the burning funeral pyre. He had held on to the energy for as long as he could that even the Doctor thought him dead. The sentimental fool had sent him off to the beyond with all the proper funeral rites, and he had the singe marks to prove it.

“Couldn’t he just have floated me out to sea? Or buried me?” The Master asked, rolling her eyes. As she dusted herself as best she could, she stopped to consider the silence around her.

The total silence around her.

The drums were gone.

"Ugh, he's going to give me the biggest I-told-you-so in existence, isn't he?" The remains of suit covering her body were charred, sooty, and ill-fitting, but they would have to do. She had a Universe to go see and an idiot of a best friend to go find.

#ask #fic request #doctor who #tenth doctor #the master #david tennant #john simm #the drums #requests are open #anonymous ask

2 notes · View notes

the-wolf-and-the-wind · 2 years

Text

5/1/18

Hello you, Some people well most people will start a diary/journal (you're a journal) on the first day of the fucking year. But I'm not a cliche and I won't promise to write every day, no I will write only when I feel the need to talk to someone - when my pathetic, broken, fucked up, crazy mind can't handle it anymore - you will be a vessel my darkness will latch onto and infect / poison with.

Who knows maybe we could be together for years? Let me introduce myself: My name is Lisa Hawkthrone that's what I've been known as since 2009, my birthname is Vasilisa though I barely go by that name anymore, to me personally Vasilisa died the day I was born as Lisa I'm not her anymore & never will be again. I have a mother called Torie who I adore, we have been to hell and back together and 2 older half brothers Lee and Darren I love them but sadly I know the fact we're half siblings will always never allow us to be close - apart from the fact they're all (including mum) dark brown nearly black hair and brown eyed, I'm green eyed with specks of blue, grey, brown; freaky huh? (suitable for a freak) dark brown hair with a natural shade of red; I stand out against them I'm the odd one.

Ever since I was 13 I preferred the darkness, always dressing in black (apart from when I was 17/18 I went through a pi up / rockabilly phase.) At 14 I was diagnosed with epilepsy - it's taken me 10 years to master the god damn perfect mask that I've "accepted it" that "it's just shitty luck" - no I still struggle mostly because of my family and what they've witnessed, the pain it's caused them. I don't even call my epilepsy a "condition" no, in my eyes it's a fucking curse, a cafe too small sometimes I just want to rup off my skin - that way I'd be free from it.

I'm not good at relationships - I always choose the wrong guys, the one's who cheat, fuck with my head and or sometimes heart or sometimes BOTH, rape me, abuse me mentally or psychically or again BOTH. I have a history with depression and anxiety, I won't say I'm free of them no I know they're still in me, they're sharking circling waiting for that single drop of blood / sign of weakness and they attack - I can feel them right now waiting, resting inside of me.

Yes incase you're wondering as everyone aside from my family has claimed me to be - CRAZY LISA CRAZY LISA CRAZY LISA. So I guess that's all you really need to kniw - oh wait there's one more thing, these days I struggle to feel any form of emotion apart from anger - anger is good, it's like fire.

But sometimes I do wonder, I'm tempted to take a knife and cut open my chest - I don't care about the pain it's cause just to see to reassure myself that I do have a heart but there's always been the scary part that I'd do that and where my heart should be there'd be nothing just a hole, that the truth would be real that is what scares me.

0 notes

pride-and-flags-47 · 2 years

Text

Nonbinary November 2021 edition!

Third time doing this! I think this one will be the most different one from the other ones because i had quite some changes

Thanks again for @letters-to-lgbt-kids for making this list

1.Which labels do you use?

Right now it went down to just aroace really. On the gender departament, i just know that I'm not a girl. I'm still nonbinary but not actively using it to myself now. Been considering the label genderqueer too

2.What are your pronouns?

He/him

3.How old were you when you came out to yourself as nonbinary?

Well, kinda when i discovered i was trans, so 15, but as nonbinary it was a few months later, in 2019

4.What’s one thing you’d like to tell your younger self?

Please stand up for yourself more and stand your ground and demand to be shown how things work so you don't feel like youre being thrown into the deep end without knowing how to swin

Also please start to take care of yourself better, don't wait until a adhd-less moment your brain had for a day in the end of 2020 to actually start taking care of yourself better

5.Is there a myth about nonbinary people that annoys you the most?

That it's a third gender

6.Is there a nonbinary celebrity you look up to?

Not really anymore. Nothing happened, i just don't care much about celebrities.

7.If you’re out, how did you come out?

Haven't come out yet irl, but i did come out online and it was a pretty simple "hey im trans/nonbinary"

8.Is there a gender-related pun you like?

Not really a pun but that "so you have none binery left?" meme is fun and i keep quoting it fjdnfn

9.Do you have friends who identify as nonbinary, too?

Yeah, like half of them fjdjdnd

10.Do you have a favorite lgbt+ character?

At the moment, Luz Noceda, Eda Clawthotne and Raine Whispers from the owl house. Toh brainrot going on three months strong now

(and not canonically, but Hunter has so much aro and trans vibes, so he's an honorary one based on my hcs)

11. Lgbt, lgbt+, lgbtqa+… which one do you usually use?

Ive been using just queer for the past few months

12. How do you explain the term “nonbinary” to people who have no idea what it means?

A spectrum of genders that aren't 100% man or woman, including not being either and also being both

13.Tell us a fun fact about yourself (gender-related or random!)

I can't crack my knuckles ever since i was 6 years old, just the fingers individually

14.How did you find your name?

Some two months before i discovered i was trans, i named an oc Alec, and i was like "this is the closest to a male version of my birthname" and then i realized im trans and took the name fjsnfnf

I used to have other names until pretty recently but i went back to just Alec now

15.If you’re in a relationship, how did your partner react to your coming-out?

Not in a relationship and wont be in one for the near and far future

16.Do you prefer partner, datemate, significant other or something else?

Tbh, none now. I used to be on an partening aro phase until recently, now im on a non partering romance indiferent aro phase that i think will be lasting for at least a good while.

17.A piece of advice for questioning kids?

Take your time, and, this is easier said than done but it's still important to try, don't give a fuck about other people's opinion about a certain label you connect with. If it fits you, hell yeah! If it doesn't, that's fine, change is okay. And also if it contradicts another label you have, it's fine, humans are full of contradictions

Not caring much about other's opinions (most of the time) really helped me with all that. Its something that i have since i was a kid, my brain just doesn't care about certain things, so it's easier for me, but even if it doesnt come naturally to you, i advise you to put your own feelings on the matter first. Don't live to please other's opinions about your identity.

And also, things change, just a few months ago i was a gay/toric aroace trans nonbinary demiguy, but then both my gender and orientation changed to what its now. Its okay.

18.Which flag(s) do you use?

To be honest, haven't really been vibing with any gender flags, so I'm just using the aro and ace flags

19.Any tips for bad days?

Blanket cocoons are great, they work wonderfully for me. Also remember to take care of your basic needs. They might or might not change much, but even if it doesnt change anything, at least you wont have to deal with like, a thirst migraine later

20.Do you have a favorite nonbinary blog on tumblr?

Every single time i get to this question i blank out

I guess @nonbinarymlm and @nonbinary-adhd

21.Feminine, masculine, androgynous - or none of those things?

Masculine

22. What are your three favorite things about yourself?

1- my sense of humour. Gotta be silly every day or my brain grows mold/j

2- my artstyle.

3- my sense of style. Turns out i dress quite well!

So this was this year's nonbinary november questions, i feel better about honestly everything this year, compared to 2019 and specially 2020. Im flourishing!

#nonbinary november #long post #nonbinary #alec talks

1 note · View note