#like as a trans person i know how it feels when people are so so SO concerned with a name that feels like a weight...

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am i the A-hole for trying to protect a women focused space?

I'm the mod from the super one sided retelling of the "Refusing to change OC's sexuality to bi/pan" situation. Shin (the person who wrote that post) know i don't use tumblr so of course he bring the drama here so that people would judge "Laura" and me without knowing the full truth. Thankfully, a dear friend of mine who followed this blog told me about this and was kind enough to allowed me to send this ask using her account.

First of all, it's pretty clear that Shin is lying about his identity. Shin said he is a trans man but he admitted that he don't want to transition beside wanting flat chest. Shin also said that he is south east asian but his display name and his OC's name are all japanese, which is a huge sign of white weeb fetishizing japanese culture. The fact that his english and understanding of slangs is way too good to be south east asian.

Secondly, Shin joining this server knowing that 90% of the members are yumejoshi, he should be grateful of the fact that we even allowed those yaoi characters invading what basically a space for women. I know we advertised the RP as a non-shipping focus death game story but you should have read the room and know what type of people this space is catering to and not bring your gay character in if you didn't want him to be shipped with women.

Thirdly, if Shin was uncomfortable then he should have made it clear from the start instead of letting "Laura"s character flirting with his, like having him respond rudely or out right rejecting her or something. Shin said he is having undiagnosed autism in his bio then he should have understand how it feel when people don't state what they mean clearly. His OC still being nice to "Laura"'s OC even if he didn't like the flirting, of course she would misunderstand that his OC developed romantic feeling for her OC.

Fourthly, Shin said before that he didn't count alternate timeline versions of a character from a visual novel he likes the same as the original timeline version because of their different life experiences then why can't he do the same to his OC? Why can't he just agree to let "Laura" make an alternate version of his character if in his logic they are completely different people? Hypocrite much?

And finally, "Laura" was very upset about this and it took her a while to move on, she could have hurt herself back then because of you. Also, we had to revised our server's rules and banned all the non-yumejoshies, which cut several RPs short.

So who is really the A-hole here?

#aita #am i the asshole #misgendering cw

[drdemonprince]

Any chance you'd expand on the hank hill trans guy post? (Sorry, best indicator I could come up with.) The concept interests me as I decidedly know my maleness, yet don't feel impeded by for the most part, any male gendered norms/boxes. I am fairly masculine, though I rarely use those kinds terms to describe myself. I have found I often do stray outside of what society pushed for me when I transitioned, yet I again do not feel it has taken from my right to maleness whatsoever. I am just me, who happens to be male. I have had friends try and suggest I am NB adjacent but I do not feel this way whatsoever. I feel more people are outliers to gender expectation than we care to admit and it's disappointing the way cis-people deny that. Hope this wasn't too long winded, I value your writing and perspective, and wanted to hear more of your thoughts on this.

Yeah, well so many things all get conflated by gender labels, and it's all so personal, you know? Masculinity does not have to mean maleness, and a person's gender identity might be a reflection of some innate quality they experience themselves as having, or a general summary of their tendencies, or their desired presentation, or their sense of affinity with other people, or an interpersonal tool, or something they just go along with because it was given to them by society, or any other number of things.

I think my recent substack piece on detransition goes into this pretty well, and I have an upcoming piece of what @pastimperfection calls "bilateral dysphoria" that comes out next week that delves into it too.

I think I mostly saw taking on a male identity as a means to an end more than any kind of innate reflection of who I was, though I did feel an affinity with effeminate men for a lot of reasons. I think I also discounted how much I have in common with my fellow nonbinary people of all stripes, because that identity became so strongly associated with being an annoying type of queer person that everybody else just wrote off as ultimately being their assigned gender at birth anyway no matter how much they protested. it doesn't help that 'nonbinary' is a catchall term for literally thousands if not millions of very distinct experiences and desires.

transitioning gave me control over how i was perceived, finally, but hormones are a throttle that only go in one very specific direction, and you don't really have all that much control over which changes kick in at which times and what people will make of you once you do start registering to them as some identity other than what you were first saddled with. it's an incredible gift to be able to toggle that throttle. but it's limited, not because medical transition isn't incredible and needed for so many, but because there is no escaping the goddamned binary cissexist logic that influences everything about how people treat you, how you navigate institutions, who finds you desirable and what they want out of you, and so much else.

if you're able to cast a lot of the external societal bullshit aside and feel strong in your maleness, maybe you're stronger than me or maybe our orientation to these things is just different, i don't know. i was never all that sensitive to feedback that i was doing the whole being-a-woman-thing all that wrong. i reveled in violating those rules to an extent. succeeding at being a woman despite my best attempts was what felt super dysphoric. and now i guess im succeeding at being a man, insofar as im always read as one, and it feels just as uncomfortable and objectifying and false. i thought that with manhood i could probably just grit my teeth and deal with it, but i'm finding that i can't.

ive always been very open that for me, gender is a thing I Do, and i guess to those who know me well it wouldnt be surprising to hear that i have gotten tired of Doing Being a Man and dont feel like playing that particular gendered game anymore. I tend to get bored of things! and find the flaws in things. and find my comfort in being fault-finding and contrarian and not being a joiner. and thats okay. i learned a lot along the way. not having to try any more is a huge relief. i can just do whatever. and know actively that people will more often than not be wrong in what they make of me.

maybe it was natural feeling for you to decidely 'know' your maleness without a care for masculine standards because that is the right identity for you! and maybe i only feel secure in the "not knowing" realm and in letting go of what people think of me or finding any kind of tidy categorization for it because that's the right spot for me. for now. until i find a new interesting way to be unhappy and striving for more and different again. :) that's just part of being alive, for me.

[uncanny-tranny]

I would give up my immortal soul if it meant that journalists, publishers, writers, family, friends - just everybody - would stop with the whole trans person's chosen name followed by "formerly known as [unused or dead name]"

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #mtf #nonbinary #transphobia #transphobia tw #i don't CARE what their birthname is if they don't use it anymore!! not my business!!!!!! #if they use their birth name that's awesome and i applaud them i think that's beautiful and important (genuine) #however if they have a chosen name then THAT is what i am concerned about and frankly i don't ever need to know their old name #like as a trans person i know how it feels when people are so so SO concerned with a name that feels like a weight... #...and i know not all trans people feel that way about their previous name but... i would rather play it safe #i would rather not know at all. i would rather die not ever knowing. because it is not my business nor concern #i would rather know because that trans person decided to share it basically because you know not all trans people out there wanted that out #maybe that's how i would summarize how i feel about it. it's nuanced but overall i just don't like the expectation that our old names... #...are something people are *entitled* to know #because for me at least that's a point of trauma and i know it's similar for some other trans people. and i just can't justify it.

[mokutone]

hi what do you think abt t4t kakayama (it's canon to me tbh)

:) hi ty for the question. i will do two sweet pictures of them being intimate and then under the cut there's going to be a longer very unsweet and more technical response

so i'm usually not a very shippy person! but that said i am also on the record as an occasional kakayama + kakayamagai enjoyer

i do hc them both as trans and in different ways w/ different experiences of transition and identity! i have no interest in proving my view as canon, but i do regard my reading of the text (text here including the anime) as a valid interpretation of yamato's experience of identity

yamato, for example, imo, doesnt have any real lived experience of being raised as a child of any gender. he was an experimental subject, and then he was Danzō's weapon/vessel for the mokuton, and then he was in anbu.

in a fun little word game which should not be taken seriously: it'd almost be more fitting to describe him as "adgender" rather than "transgender" since the prefix "trans" implies moving across where the prefix "cis" means to stand still, but the prefix "ad" means "to move towards" and i headcanon him as somebody who was degendered as a child, not in a cool nonbinary way, but instead in a dehumanizing, objectifying way, so his experience of creating his identity and his gender along with it is one of moving toward the concept of gender this word doesn't and wont exist, but bc of the way english works it would probably be simplified to be spelled precisely the same as "agender" in the same way that "aggression" came from latin "aggredi" which came from "ad" (meaning to/toward) and and latin "gradus" (meaning step) (essentially the combination means "to step to" [in a threatening manner]) the only diferences is where agender (meaning no gender) is pronounced ay-gender, the agender that comes from adgender would be prounounced more like "uhgender" in the same way that agressive isnt pronounced like "ay-gressive" but instead like "uhgressive"

and then...as for kakashi? i just decided on vibes. i didn't think hard about it.

i guess i should also say that, while i draw kakayama very infrequently, when i do draw it i usually try to be very apparent about the transness in the artwork if i can? especially if i'm drawing anything more intimate than a peck on the cheek. it's no secret that shipping is often times the most energized part of fandom, and i kind of don't want to produce romantic or sexual artwork which will be enjoyed by people who don't think trans people can be attractive? or who find that trans headcanons make a character uninteresting to them? or worse, "ruin" a depiction of a character to them?

often i think about in terms of. IF there are people that follow me that love my work (usually) and think that kakashi or yamato are hot (usually) and love kakayama (usually) but get frustrated or even uncomfortable out when i draw them as explicitly trans? then i'm drawing all intimate artwork of them as explicitly trans.

it's a little like...nobody gets to love my work if transgender characters are a turnoff for them. that's the bar for entry, is the way i think of it, but really its more like putting onions in a dish. if you want to eat the dish you have to eat the onions. if you don't want to eat the onions, don't eat the dish. all the meals i make contain onions. i'll never compromise on my intention to put onions in every dish i make. that's my ninja way, as the kids say.

especially in the climate we're in right now.

i don't know. i have a lot of feelings about how most fandoms tend to view trans men, especially in terms of romantic and sexual relationships. I'm doing a bad job of expressing the depth of how much seeing how fandom treats trans male identity and transmasculine bodies impacts the way that i draw + write kakayama, but genuinely it's something i think about every single time i create content about them.

#yamswers #danova #often even when there r trans characters/trans hcs of characters the m/m pairings are usually trans + cis #+ i wanna emphasize: there's nothing wrong with that. trans+cis relationships are as beautiful and valid as t4t #but...in fiction...there's like. expectations. of how a trans guy will act in a relationship with a cis guy #literally every transmasc person knows exactly what im fucking talking about lol #i'm trying to keep this conversation PG bc naruto is not an adult show—so. anyway #the presence of t4t depictions is basically essential in offering an alternative image of relationships + intimacy for trans individuals #a view of trans bodies which is not designed for the pleasure of cis consumption+assumption #a view of trans bodies not couched in an artist statement saying ''this is a trans body. this is how you interact with a body like it.'' #sometimes even stuff made by trans people will cater to explaining transness to cis people + thats fine and okay and— #—can be cathartic to create. esp as a trans person since so many of us are Surrounded by cis people irl #but. as a singular consumer. i get tired of that. i don't want it—at least not in the way that fandom frequently produces #i'm sorry this was probably an ask that expected a reply full of trans love and just got a bunch of technical stuff back #but to be fair this IS how i feel about t4t kakayama

[poisonouspastels]

I need to talk about Minecraft AU for a sec and how the difference between our world and their world makes for some of the most humorous but also interesting differences in how people act about certain subjects.

Like the trans thing right. Steve and Rana are both trans I've talked about that before. And neither of them are on hormone replacement or anything (there is an in universe explanation as to why Steve has a beard though I promise I can talk about that if anyone wants) but like that's fine bc it literally Doesn't Matter to them or anyone else. Like as spawned players they already don't have any pre-existing gender roles or ideas of what something "should" be so gender and presentation is what they make of it and there's no real solid idea in anyone's mind about how a "boy" or "girl" behaves or looks like. These are labels that exist but they barely mean anything. It also helps that any preexisting culture that WOULD have ideas of this was almost entirely destroyed like 5000 years ago (thanks Groda) so it matters even less than it already did.

And its funny bc the only two people alive from that era, White Eyes and Groda also just don't care. Groda maybe asks why Rana's voice sounds deeper once and nearly gets torn apart by Alex bc of it (Rana isn't offended or anything she just has a defensive girlfriend), bc she doesn't really understand because she never experienced anything like this first hand but very quickly comes to understand it and accept it. And on the other hand White Eyes is just like "I've seen weirder things than this" which yeah. Yeah honestly I think the person who was previously one with the undead would not care about gender in the grand scheme of things.

And then u have Kai which I've joked before that they may as well have been spawned in nonbinary. They rlly just said "I'm not really anything" and everyone was like yeah makes sense I vibe with it. Good for u.

Steve and Rana are both fairly open about having been the opposite genders previously (because that's how they view their experiences and that's valid!) and don't really shy away from the subject but also never really have much reason to talk about it since there's rarely a need to. In the modern day pretty much everyone who met them had met them post-transition. Even Alex had met them just before Steve started growing in his beard. The only people who ever knew them as Adam and Eve were Efe and Sunny but they never really thought it was weird or anything. Like the weirdest part to them was Steve saying he got his epiphany from seeing some guy in the distance on a foggy day who looked vaguely like him but that's its own subject manner that they aren't going to pry on.

Also Steve did DIY top "surgery" previously with a sword but we aren't going to talk about how messy that was for everyone involved.

#minecraft #minecraft au mastertag #apologies for my trans ramblings. how i get to approach these subject matters in the AU is just fun #and i needed to get some thoughts out #unrelated fun fact that i think most people here dont know: Steve and Alex were actually the first two to be in a committed relationship #not Steve and Rana like most would (rightfully) expect #this is because despite the fact that the two have literally know eachother for their entire lives #they're both really bad at being honest with themselves. #for years it was 'i like this person but i dont know how to tell them' #to 'well maybe i only FEEL like i like them because i dont know anyone else that well' #to 'well maybe they dont feel the same and it'd be weird to bring it up now' #you've heard of slow burn now get ready for what those two had going on #Alex when integrated into the household and months had passed actually had enough confidence to ask #here's the funny part though. she had assumed that Steve and Rana WERE dating already (and was cool with it obviously) #they were not. #so u can imagine how funny it is for Steve to hear 'Your girlfriend is pretty' out of Alex's mouth bc of that #She's more shocked that they're NOT dating already they live in the same house they've known eachother for literally their entire existence #they are like so stupidly affectionate with eachother to boot #'And you've known her for how long??' 'I mean... about 10 years?' 'DUDE.' #its actually agonizing but on the bright side it is what got the polycule started eventually #I would not be surprised if Sunny and Efe placed bets on if/when it would eventually happen

[disasterhimbo]

Being marginalized, especially in multiple ways, is just learning most people don’t give a shit about your happiness, health, or safety. It hurts the worst imo when even people in one marginalized group you’re a part of don’t give a shit about you bc you’re part of another marginalized group they don’t care about. And they’re not even honest about it, they pretend to care, and they think they’re good people as they’re hurting you.

#I’m just disappointed in most people at this point honestly #but it’s getting so hard to act normal around most people even for brief interactions #just got a haircut and the hairdresser refused to wear the N95 I brought in favor of a surgical mask and said she knows she’s not sick #and then give me bullshit health advice like that sunlight before noon is really healing and something about negative air when it rains #and then say how excited she was to see Dave Chapelle live #and she knows I’m trans and I’m sure she thinks of herself as an ally #this also goes for all the queer people who aren’t covid-conscious #and all the covid-conscious people who aren’t for disability justice #and racism in the queer community and pretty much any intersection of marginalized identities #I just don’t understand how people can care about one marginalized group and be completely disconnected from the others? #not being intersectional feels like it almost defeats the point #my post #original post #personal #a secret third kind of post #leftism #intersectional leftism #marginalized people #marginalized groups #socialism #communism #anarchism #anarchy

[rebellum]

"We should respect trans mascs and butches because they protect us at pride"

So I get what you're doing with trying to argue against the anti-masculinity crowd and trying to say that trans mascs and butches are an important part of pride as a way to emphasize our place in the community

But...

Why us?

Why are we disposable? Why are we not worthy of protection?

When are you going to protect us, too?

#'mascs do the protecting but i prommie its because im woke and not bc i love to reinforce gender norms that posit men as the protectors of #femininity'. #also i wanna say something similar about how ppl sometimes treat trans poc like this #like we are valuable not as people but as battering rams as bodies for white protection #but my thoughts are too messy rn to form the post well #goddd and how ppl treat butches is so fucked up. #i understand that butch lesbians roles are traditionally understood as being protectors but like #when are you going to protect butches? when are you going to get in someones face to protect them? how do you think disabled butches feel? #just... i feel like. ppl forget that feminity can also be weaponised in a good way #(not that you HAVE to weaponise femin. in order to protect mascs for any reason) #but like. im a 5'3 small femme. i very easily pass as an upper middle class woman. #i may be black/mixed but i have a mediumish skin tone and i live in canada #i absolutely have the power to step in front of someone and raise my voice in feminine indignation #what are you gonna do? hit me? youre gonna hit a tiny 5'3 'woman' in a skirt that has kitties on it? #the idea of feminine people as weak can cone in handy! because esp large men know they WILL face social consequences for hurting ppl #like me. #especially if i start crying. #itd be more effective if a white person did it but i have that power too

[magioffire]

as much as i appreciate all depictions of trans masc people in art, this isnt some kind of put down like omg you gotta draw ALL your art like this but... its honestly quite nice to see some trans masc characters that  have breasts  and are completely fine with that. like i get that top surgery scars have just become the visual short hand for ‘trans man/,masc’ character but thats not the reality for every trans masc person, not all trans masc people experience top dysphoria all the time, or even at all, and i feel like if we normalized the idea of breast tissue on men it would help to lessen the social stigma of men with breasts, cis or trans. i just love to see trans masc characcters who still have their breasts because its a reflection of the sort of trans experiences and bodies i am familiar with

#like seeing yourself in media is unendingly important #people who get to see themselves in media on a regular basis may not understand but seeing a character that looks like you #and isnt just a 'hahah fat tranny' joke that is actually extremely good for your mental well being #and you know...its part of the reason why i opted to make vali look the way he does because you know how many people #have come up to me expressing gratitude that someone would ever write someone who looked remotely like them #and wasnt just the butt of some cruel joke #and that they didn't really consider that it was possible for a character of this type to be considered desirable by fandom culture at large #because lez be honest fandom spaces can be very "pretty f/ggots only pls uwu' #again this isnt to put down anyone who DOES draw most of their trans characters with top surgery scars like #thats still important too i get really happy when i see art that includes that because its like the artist and i #are shaking hands like same hat #but even more so when i see a person or an experience that better reflects my own #where i had never seen it before treated with any reverance or respect #i wanna include that same feeling for others in my writing since i cant draw lmfaooo #to me thats the importance of diversity. not a brownie sticker you get to absolve you of being 'called out' #but something you do because you want to express and experience a fuller breth of human experience. not just the most acceptable versions #and help others see themselves in the art they consume #anyway thank u for coming to my ted talk #ooc. #tbd. #i hope this makes a single lick of sense lmfaooo #its 3 am leave me alone #im easily amused and also starving for content that gives me a single smidgen of shared life experience between trans people #this is why if you wanna see yourself in something..U GOTTA MAKE IT YOURSELF and u end up surprised at how many others were #also unknowingly looking for the same thing #and are like hey. thanks for that. i needed that. #and im like same bro :') #and tbf top surgery scars in art MIGHT be that for some people and i love that for them #but for me its seeing beautiful men who dont have 100 percent flat chests because that is apart of the trans male experience too #fuck just the male experience in general

[random-stuff-doo-bop]

Genuine question, is fionna and cake transphobic? I’ve seen people talking about how gender-bends like this are transphobic but a lot of people don’t seem to have a problem with fionna and cake so idk what to make of the show.

Feel free to ignore this if it's a bad/offensive question but yeah if any people (specifically other trans people) have any thoughts on this, I would appreciate hearing them, bc I don’t want to support this show if it’s pushing harmful stereotypes or something. But I also don’t want to like. make a big deal out of this if I’m overthinking it. Idk, I'm just confused

#adventure time #fionna and cake #transphobia #i hope this isn't offensive to ask #but like is it bad? is it good? is it just. fine? #like it seems okay but I don’t want to assume #also yes I know that asking a few trans people on tumblr isn’t reflective of the whole community #but i feel like it can't hurt to ask? maybe? #I’m non-binary myself and didn't take issue with it but I'm also just one person. idk what other people think #I haven’t seen a ton of people posting about fionna and cake being transphobic recently #but i did see some posts from a few years back when it was first announced #and i've seen more posts recently on how genderbends are offensive #so I just wanted to throw this post out there and hear people’s thoughts #like are gender bends always bad or does it just depend on how you do it? #is it a personal preference or is just plain harmful?

[uncanny-tranny]

The bad thing about chasers isn't that they desire trans people. That is not a bad thing - in fact, I think it's pretty weird if your only criticism of chasers is that they want to be with trans people. Desiring trans people is fine, and in fact, is normal.

However, what's wrong with chasers is when they objectify trans people - when they do not respect that we are people, that some of us transition/don't, or that some of us don't want to be with them. The desire isn't wrong, but the objectification is. You can desire trans people without dehumanizing us, you know? Like, there's a difference between "I like you and your transness" and "I solely desire you for your transness, and I do not think you are an equal to me"

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #mtf #nonbinary #transphobia #transphobia tw #like you know how many times i hear people who go after trans people because 'their an easy lay'? #as in... they can say the right things and appeal to a presumed deminished sense of self-worth because... #...that trans person feels so undesirable and disgusting that *any* positive attention feels revolutionary #THAT is what i mean when i say this. that is precisely the attitude that is bad. not the desire itself #you can like trans people in non-transphobic ways actually. like. shock horror i know /s

[cursedskull-666]

Gonna start screaming from the depths of my very soul I think.

#Life yknow. Just. Life #Cant downgrade my phone for a cheaper contract bc even the downgraded options are more expensive than my current contract #Have to cancel my membership to local pool bc they raised the monthly cost so now itd be cheaper just to pay at time of visit #Trying to find a place to move into is hell bc single occupancy places are going like mad #And i am at an incredible disadvantage as a disabled person who cant work landlords do not want that even tho i know how much i can afford #And trying to get on council housing list? Even more hellish and the wait time is years long anyway #Trying to get taken seriously by doctors as an autistic trans man? When im trying to see them about my chronic issues? HELL #Throw in that im also fat and its just awful #Trying also to get the GP to bloody REFER ME ALREADY to the gender clinic #HELL #JUST DO IT #and thats just the top of the list #So yeah i think im just gonna scream about it #Oh and cost of living in general AAAAAAAAAUGH #People not masking when they should and ignoring that we are still very much in the middle of a pandemic AAAAAH #I feel like i am actually going insane #Personal #Vent #Im gonna start chewing the walls #Maybe ill try biting people and hissing again like I used to when i was a kid #Because i might as well #Fuck

[wild-at-mind]

Don't want to tone police anyone else, but I kind of hope that if anyone sent me a misguided ask trying to 'correct' some terminology I used for my own self-identity, I'd be able to reply in a way that didn't frame myself as superior for being out longer than the asker.

#i've only been out for like 5 mins anyway so i kind of hate that anyway for maybe personal reasons?? #i met a lot of trans people my age this year who also didn't come out during their entire 20s for Reasons #and we all agreed it fucking sucks and feels like wasted time #and i'm well aware people come out much much later than that and the same applies #as a transmasc person i have detected a small amount of 'well how would you know you only just came out like 5 mins ago' #from other transmasc people about my age who have been out way longer #and i understand where they are coming from i guess but i also can't help it #and i hope our community never has to be divided by supposed privilege lines of who came out when and who spent more time as 'cis'... #maybe people are already trying to do this but i hope not because none of that stuff is fixed enough to be an axis of oppression #though it does change our experiences of life of course it's never as simple as 'privileged vs oppressed' on things like this #in particular there's one transmasc person in my local area (there aren't many lol) who i really want to connect with but who has made #implications that they see people like me as trans babies of sorts #like not talking about me but someone else they said of a long-time friend of theirs who just came out as transmasc #'i could have used that support 10 years ago!' #i was just like :/ well they aren't talking about me but is this how people in my community see me?? #anyway i think if we can't have compassion for and acceptance of each other's unique experiences it will stand in the way of intra-communit #connection

[unhinged-transmasc]

i think it says a lot about the people saying these things, that "misandrist sentiment" is usually accompanied by "you're not actually oppressed, you just got your feelings hurt." especially when you consider i've been internalizing that since age 13, when i first identified as a trans boy. that's a hell of a long time to be exposed to "just getting my feelings hurt." even adding more insult to injury that i wasn't even privileged and i'm also marginalized (also. a POC.) like.. do you really think a young teenager is gonna be able to emotionally handle "just getting their feelings hurt" on the basis of their identity. at what point would you consider maybe being kinder and being more compassionate cause that's what gets actual progress. like maybe if i started seeing that bullshit now, i'd be tired of it, but i wouldn't have internalized that i'm irreversibly a terrible person and it wouldn't have had such a lasting mental impact on me, wouldn't have taken me so much frustration to try to unlearn it and work it out.

and from what i've seen, especially for younger generations raised on the internet, this is.. kinda a decently common experience?from transmascs to even anyone who was AMAB, including cis guys -- we want to be progressive and help people but we're exposed to a lot of "lol men suck" even just jokingly, it's pervasive, it gets into our goddamn brains and makes us question everything and hurts us a lot, especially when it starts young. it makes a lot of trans people question if they're even supposed to be in the spaces that are supposed to support them. and hey, maybe that's what you actually want, for us to experience the "same" misogyny cause it will never be "as bad." but it's kind of really sucky cause a good number of us also experience misogyny on top of that so it's not like you're doing anyone any favors really. and even for cis guys it's just generally... not good. of course if you just enjoy making other people suffer out of revenge against misogyny in general, i guess that's your own thing and you can do that; if you genuinely want the power structure flipped on its head than have actual equality. but it is kinda stupid tbh.

and it also sucks that feminist spaces and society at large is not at ALL prepared to fully address all the ways that men suffer under the patriarchy, albeit differently from women it's still suffering. like. there's still a lot of cis men out there who think even the most basic things are gay, unmanly, feminine, not "real men" behavior. having a range of emotions, basic hygiene, the type of clothes you wear, your mannerisms and your lifestyle. and then there's a lot of feminists who think that men have nothing to suffer from and it's just so easy to "undo/unlearn/unpackage" a lot of this shit. and it sucks only trans people discuss this aspect a lot because it has affected all of us and shaped our experiences, but the deeper nuances of trans voices and experiences are not that heard in society.

i just. it's one of my hopes this is a subject that gains more importance in society within my lifetime. liberation for all or liberation for none ok.

#antimasculism #transandrophobia #long #personal #i know its maybe not the same but i actually legit do feel for cis+het people who feel a lot of that #maybe im just like. i don't like being a mean person #like lately i saw a 14 y/o cishet be super upset that they felt out of place bc of how common LGBTQ is in their fandom #and how they saw a lot of #lol cishet sucks #i kinda really feel bad for kids like that? #when it comes to white people it's a slightly different story but i still feel iffy on it #i think one of my friends is white and young on the internet and feels guilt for not being able to do much to help despite being a minor #and not actually having the capacity to do so #to help that is #i think all i gotta say abt this is like. #vengeance is an easy emotion #idk. #im literally trans + POC so im uhhhh idk

[allisonreader]

My heart hurts. Not physically, but emotionally. I don't like the news, I tend to avoid actively searching it out, for that exact reason. I ache because as people we just can't seem to get along. Learn to compromise and fully try to understand the other side. It's exhausting to understand why people are against certain things, even when it's the opposite of what I personally believe in.

#this is about a pronoun law being passed locally (one that I believe is appropriate and good) #as what's being passed is that under the age of 16 parent consent is needed for any name or pronoun changes #while there's at least one person throwing up a fuss about how terrible that is #like I get it lady you think it will cause harm where I see it as protecting kids and letting their parents know what's happening with them #it's not that I'm unsympathetic if anything I'm too sympathetic but there has to be checks and balances #especially when all of this trans/non-binary stuff is still so new and radical #people have been living life for a long time without these terms and without issue #and something that has always bothered me is that there is a reason why straight relationships are majority beyond religion #I do think that same sex attraction is natural #but that still doesn't mean that I think that it should be acted on it is a sin in the bible for a reason #though I would never kick a child of mine out of my house for feeling same sex attraction it would be a conversation needed about such #I have many more thoughts but most of them I would never necessarily post #as I would breakdown in tears at the first disparaging remarks because I'm soft like that #I also don't feel well educated enough to fully and properly make a case for myself #I'm surprised that I've even posted this though my most controversial thoughts are here in the tags